Ep 62: Covid Strains Need Less Cool Names
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He's on fire, dude. Has The Rock ever detached his rectum? He died sucking his own dick and like drowning in his own cum. Freak, see ya.

Buckle up. Happy New Year! Happy New Year, everybody. Damn, son. Where'd you find this? 2024. We got a month until New Year's, guys. Don't... Oh, yeah. Sorry about that. You scared me. Wake up! Man, it was scary. My guy's a time traveler. He's ready to get this year behind him. It's been a rough one for Durs, but...

It's okay, man. Hey, man. Let's get this pandemic behind us and just get back to whatever normal is after this. We're so close. I've had a cold for like two weeks now, and it just will not go away. And...

Every day that it doesn't go away, I check to, I just look at the COVID symptoms again. And I'm like, can you get COVID one month after having COVID? That's a pretty... You could. Yeah, dude. Yeah, you've got that, what is it? Omnicron? You got that fucking, what is it called? That new new? Yeah. Yeah, that new new. That South African. Yeah.

Yeah. What is it called? It sounds like a transformer name. Well, they all sound cool as hell. Optimus Chrome. Coronavirus. Yeah, that's the thing. We got to name them like stupider stuff. Yeah, name it so you don't want to get it. Yeah, those kids are out here trying to get them now because it's the cool thing to do. Which one you got? Yeah, you're like, motherfucker, I got Delta variant. Yeah, Omnivore.

Omnicron. That shit sounds like straight up like a bad guy transformer. Omnicron. I love it. But yeah, luckily I, it doesn't seem like I have COVID so. Okay, good. But I can't shake this goddamn cold, man. Yeah. And what,

You're home right now? You're not filming? Because I feel like that's what happens as soon as you get a little break from filming. Well, I've been sick the last two weeks of filming and they're just... I'm the lead of the movie, so they're juicing me. B12? I feel like Michael Jackson. I'm literally taking shots every day. Shots in my butt cheek. B12 in the booty? B12, but then also this new... It's basically like a Z-Pack that I take in my butt cheek. And then are like...

Our giant medic is the guy that does it, so it feels like we're doing drugs or something because it's weird because I have to take it in my ass cheek, but we do it on set, so it's always like us ducking off into a corner and he whips out a needle and just injects my butt cheek. Hold up. Does anyone else know about this? Or is it just a guy? It sounds like a guy's like, yeah, I'm the medic. Come over here. Is he cleared? Is this guy? It might not feel like a needle. It might not feel like it's actually in your asshole. He's a nurse, but he's hilarious. He's funny.

6'5", like 350. That's so funny. He's like a house of a man. So it doesn't seem like, I've never seen a nurse this large. That's a huge nurse. That's one huge nurse. Have we talked about somebody being hilarious because they're 6'5 before? Or did I just have deja vu? Ah,

Well, no, I remember we didn't hire writers in the Workaholics writers room because we were convinced they were too large for the room. We're like, it's too small of a room. But with that said, we had one of the tallest writers ever, Rutz the Man. He was a giant human. Hey, Rutz was two or three. He was a pretty tall guy. Maybe if he stood up tall, he'd be a little 6'4". Yeah, he carried himself.

We didn't have the biggest writer's room space. Like, you know, we can't have somebody in there six, seven, regardless of how hilarious they are. We're all crammed into Van Nuys. Goddamn. Hmm.

Give us some space. Now we could because of the Zoom rooms. Absolutely. Yeah, we could get a, what's his name? Steve Agee? We could get the biggest writer's room in the biz, babe. What about Tall John? Remember that dude? Yeah. Who's like 6'10 or whatever? Well, should we talk about the elephant not in the room right now? Again? Well, yeah. I feel like we have to. I guess we should because they're probably like, wait, what's different about this week? The community's probably abuzz right now. Yeah, yeah. Let's go!

I feel like the community's abuzz. Aruguloids are probably going to throw their salads away when they hear the news. They're spinning. You're never going to believe it. Actually, you're probably going to believe it. You're going to believe it. See ya. Kyle quit the band. He's out. He said, Kyle betrayed me. Go off. Please play a little bit of that. You got him more? He's got some more. I'm out of here.

I'm sorry, guys. Freaking see ya. Yeah, big. Your king, Arugaloid, has left the building for... He's betrayed you. For the time being, I guess. What his people told us... Yes, we were contacted by his people. Was that he was busy. And, you know, he's busy. That's fine. He is busy. He's busy. And he told us. His people didn't tell us. You know, when you work in this business of show...

Sometimes there's a lot of pressure coming at you from all these big corporations taking over all this. And, you know, sometimes it weighs heavy on the shoulders and you got to do what you got to do. And he's doing that. It's a bagel. Yeah. And are we afraid now that, like, you know, I don't want to say dead weight, but...

The weight that has been cut. Are we afraid the podcast is going to be too good now? It's going to soar. Yeah. Get a potty. Right. I'm a little afraid. Just like we found a real nice pocket with Kyle, with the four of us of just sort of middling, you know, just kind of, you know, just sort of not, not doing too great with the podcast. Yeah. And now I'm afraid we're going to, now we're going to have to compete with the Rogans of the world.

We'll be right up there with the other shows that are big. I'm sure there's other big podcasts. I just don't listen. There's got to be other big ones. There has to be other big podcasts. Probably about murder. People love murder podcasts. Probably about murder. I feel like

Always Sunny just threw their name in the hat. Yeah, they're copying our... First of all, sipping our tea, chugging our Kool-Aid. Yeah, we were the first to do a podcast ever. Absolutely. And now our podcast is going to be too good. Right. It's going to be a runaway freight train. And I'm nervous for that. Yeah. Yeah. Should we rename it? Maybe. Two assholes and a bitch? I like that. I like that. Oh, man.

My God. So now that Kyle quit, he always called him a bitch, but... Kyle betrayed me. Is quitting a bitch move or is that an asshole move leaving us? Was this a bitch move? Is he being an asshole? You know, now that's a great debate right there. Speaking of Dave King's podcast. Check it out.

Yeah, I don't know. To some of us, I feel like, yeah, it could be taken as a bitch move and some can kind of feel like an asshole. I guess it depends if you're an asshole or a bitch yourself. You might, since you guys are assholes, you're kind of in the alpha side of things. You might be like, oh, that's a freaking bitch move. Right. Because you guys, you know, you're...

You're just so strong and intimidating. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's us. And, you know, it's just like you kicked someone off the island. But for someone over here who's just a little bitch in the corner, I'm like, oh, gosh, man, that feels like a real asshole to abandon me to these. Right. These wolves of friends that I have because I'm I'm scared. Friend wolves. If he does another podcast. Mm hmm. That's asshole.

Okay. I don't think he started another podcast. If I was a betting man, and I am. I wish. I'd tune in. Hey, I don't know. I don't know. Maybe he would do something else in a different vein than just talking with your best friends. Yeah. It would be ping pong and podcasting together while growing vegetables. See, you don't listen. It's pickleball. Okay, Adam? You don't listen. And maybe that's why Kyle...

is gone. All right. Sorry. He got into pickleball like the rest of the world. Hey, I still want to play. I think it sounds pretty fun. Yeah, it does. But guys, rest assured where it's TII or die, right? We're in it to win it. Who's the next one who's getting kicked off the island? Who's the next one? Who's going to leave out of the three of us? Yeah. No, I think the three of us are steadfast. We're not going anywhere.

we're we're the rocks oh you think so i think so right we're building a society yeah we're not building a boat i think the only way that we would stop the podcast is we are just too physically busy that we actually can't find the one hour to do the podcast i thought you were gonna say too physically big again if we get too physically large we can't we can't we're too big for the screen the camera can't capture all of us i can't stop

Okay, well, let me ask you this, man. If, say, I died in a horrific event, would you guys continue the podcast as just the two of you? An event? Like at a thing? Yeah, like at a concert you stage dive? Like a Travis Scott Astroworlds situation? Are you making light of that? Yeah, I was thinking... No, I was thinking more of like a farmer's market. Some kind of accident happened where...

I don't know. Like an old man fell asleep and drove through the farmer's market type situation. I don't know. We're really hitting the headlines today. Zip it. Anything can happen. I'm just saying. Say I... No, you said event, and we want to dig deep. You did say event, and we're not... You got a couple assholes coming for the bitch of the crew, and...

If I become the fucking punching bag, I'm out of here. That's an event. How about the event is that I can't take it anymore. And you blow your freaking brains out. Well, first of all, you said punching bag. You said punching bag. I'm pissed now. Is that how you talk, you fucking bitch? Shut up, bitch. Yeah.

Hide behind your soundboard. No, I don't. I do not think that we would continue if one of us were to perish. I think perishing. Right. We might do one final wrap up, sort of give the guy who died his flowers, you know? Yeah. I would think that that would be one of the saddest, like, just you guys would be crying the whole time, right?

No, no, no. We would make it fun. We would make it fun. Why didn't you cry about it? Like the whitest kids you know, those guys were fucking. Yes, yes. That was so good. Talking about their homie who passed away, they went on to kind of. Trevor Moore, RIP. Your flowers delivered. Trevor Moore, RIP. They went online to kind of tell everybody what exactly happened because it was shrouded in mystery.

Yes, it was. What happened? I didn't know. I'm not privy. I think what finally... I mean, it was just a terrible... It was an accident. Let me... Okay, you go ahead. Let me just say... Can I finish? The guy with the soundboard doesn't even... Can I finish? Okay, so they all got on to announce it. And then they basically said he died sucking his own dick and drowning in his own cum.

And they played it so straight, and it was so, so funny. That is the best. You know, that's how you would want it. That's right. If you guys didn't do that for me, I'd be... Yeah. Yeah. No, I mean, that is how maybe you would want, but if my parents, they listen to the pod, and that's how you guys put me on, I don't know if they'd be like, yeah, man, they fucking gave Blake a really great send-off. Remember when they said he, like, died from... Yeah, but, like, parents would get it. They'd be like, oh, like... Yeah, like, are your parents cool, though? Or are they...

bitches because I'm raised by bitch wolves here's an equally sad like whatever but I had a homie who was a graffiti writer growing up and don't make a joke about to get sad got hit by a train died

And his graffiti writer hit by a train while doing graffiti. Like he was tagging. Exactly. Okay. And respectable. His mom fucking his mom hated graffiti. She fucking hated that he was doing it, hated that was part of his life. But like this dude was in it, the whole culture doing it. It was everything to him. He was a sick artist and he died. And when everybody from the community came out,

to the funeral and like said what a good guy he was, how he inspired them. Like she was like, I get it now, you know? So when our parents hear that you guys say, I drowned in my own cum, they're going to say, I get it. I get it.

I get it now. He was the best at guzzling jizz. Cool parents. And then my mom will be like, you think it was like you had to get a stomach pump to get the jizz out? And you guys embrace her and she's part of it now. Okay, but that's kind of different because I could see where your story went a totally another way with your friend where it was like everybody from the community shows up and she goes- A totally another way. Go ahead. Well, no, because she could have been like, yo, you guys are the reason that my kid, like he-

Like this lifestyle is a dangerous lifestyle. Not that, you know, but you know, but like comedy is not dangerous now. No, I'm saying that would be if I truly died in the act of a comedic event. Well, we're in Hollywood. All the all the cocks we have to swallow. Yes. Right. Right. Or like if at the funeral, like those guys were spray painting his body. Sure. Like he would want this. Right.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I guess you're right. It is different. That being said, Blake, if you were to die, just know for a fact we would do that. And I guess prep your parents, like let them know now, like, hey, if I were to die, I

Adam and Durs are going to talk about how I need to have my stomach pumped from guzzling too much jizz. And I didn't. And that's why I died. Right. I suffocated with the amount of, I drowned in jizz. I've thought about like having funny montages or songs played at my funeral for sure. Like where it's just like when people show up and they're like, oh man, this is crazy. That like something happens with the like,

Oh, we got to get out of here. Why are we even here? Why did he do that? Why did he play that montage? Yeah. Let's go. Fuck this, dude. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.

Sorry, I misspoke. I misspoke. Let's leave. Let's leave. I mean, that'd be the ultimate. Anders died. It's just the video that you show is just a montage of people screaming, let's go. And you have to, and everyone has to sit there and watch this like 12 minute montage. Right.

Just people screaming, let's go. I think I would kill myself if I was at one of your funerals. I'd be like, I have to join him on the other side because this is too much. See ya. My kids are watching it like, what? What?

So your dad was so funny, man, and he would work so hard on script. I loved him. Let's go. So your dad's gone forever, but he left this very confusing montage for you to watch. He's not going to be there to raise you, but this is pretty funny. This is the thing he left.

for you and your brothers. Hold up. And then you guys are like, oh, you don't get it? You're four years old. You don't get it? Oh, you don't get it, though. Oh, God. Your dad was so funny. You're not even funny yet. Dude, you're only four. You're so dumb at four. That's why

If right now in the podcast, one of us stood up for some reason, grabbed something and slipped and then landed on the chair in a way that broke their spine and killed them, how long do you think it would... You don't always die from breaking your spine, but go ahead. Hey, that's been well documented. Do we need to play the clip? How long do you think it would take for us to stop joking and laughing before we're like...

Adam? Uh, check him. Adam? Well, if you fell on live podcast, I would lose my shit laughing. And I just, I come up and I'm just gurgling blood. Weird, wild stuff. Or you're just out of frame and we're clowning because we saw you like go down and we're like, oh shit. And I'm making that noise when the woman like fell when she was stopping grapes. And she's like, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

I have it somewhere. That's hard. Well, yeah. That's hard because if he's off camera, if he's off camera and we're like hearing the death rattle, you know, the last thing you hear out of a person's body. And we think he's joking. It's like when you blew your knee out and everyone was like...

He's clowning. Yeah, that's a tough one. Because if it's off screen, it could be, yeah, it's one of his pranks. Maybe he's punking us. One of his classic pranks. But if it's on camera. I feel like I'm not much of a prankster. I feel like. Yeah, you're a straight shooter. I'm a straight shooter. You're an asshole. I'm a real asshole. Yeah, but I don't know, man. I don't know. That's a tough one. It's not.

This is not like a, so you're going to the moon. What books do you bring? No, I feel like you guys would joke for a solid three minutes. Right. I feel like once it starts to near towards five minutes, the bid has run its course. We're done laughing about it. You guys have volleyed the ball as many times back and forth as you can until you're like, all right. You guys at home, volley the ball is a comedy thing. No one says that.

I relate everything to volleyball. Sure, it's a good sport. Great sport. Ow, ow, ow, ow, stop, ow, stop. Right on time. I had to bring that one out the crypt. So I feel like right around the five-minute mark is when the other person would step. You'd go like, hey, all right, stand up. We're done. In my dream, somebody falls and dies, and then somebody else gets up to, like, protect. Like, you, dude, you were like this.

And then they actually fall by accident and then they die. And the last person is like, this is the best. I can't believe this is happening. And then eventually he's like, all right, guys. Hey, guys. Finish him. Kyle, they're not coming back. What do I do? I'm not part of it. I'm not saving you. You're an asshole.

Yeah.

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Adam, you did a sketch way, way, way long a time. Way, way, way a long time ago. Oh, man. Go ahead. Go ahead and just back off. Everybody back off. Out here by myself on an island. Little Red Riding Hood. Surrounded by wolves. Way, way a long time ago. You're wearing your Little Red Riding Hood cloak right now. Oh, boy. A couple of big bad wolves are howling at the door.

Go ahead and just try talking. Dude, what was that sketch you did? It might have been with Austin Anderson where it was like you guys were high and like shooting each other with guns. Oh, that's right. And it was that moment. Like they're like happily shooting each other with a gun because they're so fucked up. The premise of the bit was, you know those weed PSAs that you're like...

Kids get stoned and then they like find a gun and they're fucking around. And then it's like you just hear a gunfire and then it's like Jimmy died that day. You know. And essentially it was...

Us. Really sad. It was us having a gun. We smoke weed and then we shoot each other and blood just squirts out. Smoke weed every day. And then the person just laughs really hard. And then we just go back and forth shooting each other until finally one, my buddy shoots, or I shoot my buddy in Austin Anderson in the head and he dies. Right. And I, then finally I realized that I just murdered my friend.

Dude, hilarious. You have to watch it. It's funny. Well, he has a really good... It was one of the first reads from Adam that I was just like, wow, this dude is just comedically a genius over here. Where you're like, dude...

dude and he's like dude like each dude gets more concerned and real and I'm like oh this is my dude man right here this is my dude so what did you watch this in improv class at OCC yeah this was kind of while we were still courting each other to see if we we had the chops and I remember seeing that video because he was like this guy's a bitch and you're like he's kind of an asshole he's kind of an asshole I don't know if I'm willing to let my guard down and have him be a part of my life because I know it's going to be

a rocky road like is he gonna shoot me is that the joke wow wow yeah but i saw that so wait this is like bring your sketch to school day no it i remember it was after our first day of of improv class at orange coast college in costa mesa california

And go pirate. Go pirate. And we did like, you know, it's improv class. You get up and basically you suss out who's funny and who isn't funny right away.

And you do that by getting up and saying, make me laugh to someone one at a time? Yeah. I say yes, no. Judging them. Instead of yes, and. Right. I say yes, no. You be funny now. Yeah. Yeah, no. I'm a dentist and you just came into my office? No. No, you're not. Blake was super funny. And then afterwards, I went up to him and I was like, I think we should write together. And I remember we were standing in that back hallway of the Black Box Theater and you were like-

uh, hell yeah. You, you just started to jerk off and then you started fingering your own bottle. If I remember correctly, if I remember correctly, that's my move. Pizza, pizza. Finally, someone's talking to me. And then you started fingering your own bottle. Hey, Adam, I don't do yes. And I do. Yes, but yes, but fill it up. Uh,

And then we went back to Nua Check's apartment. I just got it. I was like, me and my friend make a bunch of videos. And this was before. This is how old we are. This was before YouTube. So we were just making videos and then showing them to friends and shit. And so we went over to his house.

new checks apartment and watched all their videos and then they watched all of our videos and uh kyle betrayed me and then kyle um 15 years later betrayed us that's right i love the idea that blake's like i don't like talking because i can't i'm gonna bring you to my friend who can and you he'll suss you out and then we'll be friends or not yeah

No, come on, dude. That wasn't it. I just didn't live in that apartment. Kyle was the closest to the school. Oh, right. So it's logistical. And it still is these days. It's very you're a very logistical guy. Yeah, I wasn't socially R worded. I knew how to talk to people. What did you just say?

socially r-worded i don't know how else to what other word awkward yeah yeah awkward would fly hey that being said you can r-word it is fine is it you can say that is it yeah i think so hold up hold up is right kyle well i don't know durst i've never said the r-word uh in front of

an actual person that was R. Yeah. So goodbye. You know, Hey, you know who has like you have, you know, who has twice in one day. Unbelievable.

remember. Unbelievable. And he, by the way, punch me. That's not how we deal with it. Not how we deal with it at all. Sometimes you just gotta swing on a fool. Do you know if you type in does Adam Devine in Google, it fills in have down syndrome? Really? Okay. Should we do this? Yeah, should look at it. Swear to God. That's the top one? Yeah. Evidently that many people That's Adam Devine.

That many people in the world go like, no, no, dude, you're you're it's now down to four. Think it's number four. And did you already do it? Yes. We have does Adam Devine sing? Does Adam Devine sing in Pitch Perfect? OK. Does Adam Devine have a brother? No. Interesting. Then it gets into does Adam Devine have Down Syndrome? Does Adam Devine have Down? Yeah. Yeah.

The fact that there's two of them is wild. Weird, wild stuff. Yeah, that is. That means people will be searching. Should we do? Yeah, let's do Blake Anderson here. Mine's going to get dark real quick. Oh, my God. Number two is amazing. Does Blake Anderson skate? Oh, my God.

Go ahead. Fucking hell yeah, bro. Yeah. As soon as people start skateboarding, he just skates to wherever they got the snacks and says, I'll be back with a bunch. Can I do that? Does Blake Anderson have a kid? That's number one. Yeah. Hello. Have a brother. Okay. Have a girlfriend. Oh. And then it just kind of jumps to other stuff. Have a kid. Does Blake Anderson skate? That's the second one up. Have a brother. Yeah.

So yours is just real questions. Yeah. And also like kind of being like, well, he seems like he should skate. Yeah. No, that's understandable. Like everybody assumes that I skate, surf or am in a band and I do none of those things. Well, or have even tried a couple. Right.

Or even attempted to do it. You've tried to skate, though, I imagine. Oh, yeah. You were like, I'm going to give this a real go and then... Oh, for sure. You've just got to know when to hold them and know when to fold them. Yeah. God, skateboarding just never clicked with me. Back in the day, like as a kid when I got one, I was like, I'm going to be a skater. Not like that was going to be a skater because it was kind of before skating was big, but like...

didn't get it body couldn't figure it out yeah i mean i mean half of the battle with skateboarding is you have to be totally fearless i'm not that kind of a person i'm pretty fearful unless i'm like but even like getting around oh sure you just hit a rock like i'm i guess i guess i'm goofy footed okay yeah i just didn't i never liked the way i was like is this the way i'm supposed to be facing this doesn't feel right and then i'd switch to the other way i'm like

No. Also bad. Weird. Also really terrible. I can't do anything where I'm not facing forward. Exactly. Thank you. Okay. You can't stand sideways and move. I cannot stand sideways. Even sitting sideways, like in a car, I'm like,

Nah, not for me. Wait, like in a limousine? Like on a bus. Oh, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. All those limousines, yeah. Or a limousine, all those stretch limos that I take everywhere. I have seen him freak out. He threw up one time in a limousine because he couldn't go. That is true. Yeah, but also, like, I think it's like...

Like, as far as skateboarding goes, because now, you know, I hang out with a lot of really great skateboarders. Professionals. Yeah, and it's, like, the best ever. Well, they make it look so goddamn easy. Yeah, and it's like, do I... You know, I want to hang out. I want to get some clips with my bros. That looks like a lot of fun, but it's just...

Far too late in the game for me to start skateboarding. Like, remember when Kyle, like, kind of tried to dust off the board? Freaking see ya. I don't remember who you're talking about. R.I.P.? Yeah, he started to, like, try to skate again. Like, he built a ramp in his backyard, and, like, immediately, he didn't tell anybody this, but, like, fell and, like, broke his rib.

and was just like done for. Obviously. Because that's what happens. Yeah. Yeah, obviously. It's a young man's game. For sure, you have to start. Your bones are rubber. Right. 13 years old. Yeah. Younger, shit. I mean, those kids were turning pro at 13 back in the day. Oh, that's true. The Olympic women? All the kids that just won, all the girls that just won skateboarding in the Olympics were all like 13-year-old Brazilian girls. They're nuts. Right. Can you imagine being a 28-year-old and just looking at them being like,

Well, nobody let me skate until I was fucking 17. Yeah. All right. I guess you got to be stoked for the culture. Man, the women's skateboarding, I thought, was just...

insane these Olympics. It was so cool. And all of them are so much cooler than I'll ever be. It's just like oozing swag. Yeah. It's almost up there with swimming. But Blake, you could dress like it, dude. Yeah, I try. You look the part. I do my best. Yeah, that's literally the second one that comes up is does Blake Anderson skate? I would say probably cooler than does Adam Devine have Down Syndrome? Yeah, I

I agree on paper, but at the same time, knowing Blake and his crew and then being like, wait, does this dude skate? It's a shot to the heart. It's a super letdown. Yeah. Yours doesn't really have any cool ones. Yours is all about being Norwegian and Swedish. That checks out. Yeah. Does Anders Holm... Well, no, I have... Does Anders Holm have a kid? Married? Yeah.

Swedish, Norwegian. They're truly concerned if what you're putting out there about your Norwegian background, if it's true, which is understandable. I'm sure Norwegians want to have representation on the screen. Wouldn't it be super tight if I was like a Dolezal situation? Yeah.

- You guys found out I was black? Just trying to be Norwegian? - Yeah, you're an albino black guy, but you've never claimed it. You've always claimed Norwegian, like the whitest you can be. - Yeah, it's called Doobie Trends. I buried a BB under my hand. - Yeah, no, I think it would be cool if we found out that you were just a straight up British dude, but you didn't have Norwegian blood at all. I was like, wait, this dude is just from Wales? - Right. - The fuck? - Yeah.

By the way, that's cool. Yeah, Wales ain't bad. Being from Wales, that works. Me and Catherine Zeta-Jones. Who are the sickest, most notorious Norwegian people of fame? Sickest? You mean like the guy who murdered 110 people? That's right. Oh, that guy. Yeah, that guy was sick. That's right. They tend to be rapists or murderers. The guy who's got the same name as me? Is it real?

I mean, we got, what's his name? Carson Warhol, who's like the world record holder for the hurdles from the Olympics. Look at this, bro. He's about to pull out deep ass cuts. That's not a deep cut. Just say Eric Christian Olsen, dude. Come on. What do you mean it's not a deep ass cut? You just named, what was his name? Carson Warhol. He just did the...

And we're saying that that's not a deep ass cut. He just broke the world record at the Olympics like however many months ago. For what now? Hurdles. You guys didn't watch that race? Sensitivity. You didn't watch that race?

I might have him but again it's like I didn't store I wouldn't be able to pull his name yeah the lead up well look it's heritage world records are broken every day B alright well but that was what was dope is that he was racing against the American guy who had just broken it he broke it he broke it again and it was like they were so you're rooting for him because that's where your family came from and not the country that you currently reside in yeah not true actually I was rooting for I was rooting for sport that day

Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. That's a safe answer from an asshole, man. That felt like a bitch move. I did bitch out there. No, I love track. Watching track, watching the Olympics is, it's, I fucking love track. Why don't you marry it? I'm going to go to the world, the track world championships up in Oregon this year. They got that new stadium. It's going to be fucking sick. Wow. You know what book I read? Didn't read. Can't read. Held at the airport? Yeah.

You know what book I used to hold the door open? You know what book I held at a Hudson News? Yeah. No, it was Shoe Dog. Oh, yeah. I listened to the audio book when I am out on my bike rides. Good boy. Shoe Dog. It's fucking awesome. It's all about the creation of Nike. Talking about Bowerman? Yes. Yeah. Phil Knight and Bill Bowerman, who was the track coach for Oregon, who...

He coached Prefontaine and then Phil Knight before that and started Nike with him. Right. It was fucking awesome. It was really interesting. Yeah. And I don't read. So when I read something and it's good, I won't shut the fuck up about it. It blows you the fuck away. I mean, dude was making shoes in a waffle iron. Like literally. Literally, mate. Literally. That's fucking cool. Yeah. But isn't that the whole, because they're still based out of Oregon, correct? Beaverton. Yeah.

And that is so that's the reason why. Because like the football team, this is where I lace their laced. They have like 800 different uniforms and the basketball team gets the fucking sickest kicks. Oh, yeah. That is so cool. That would make me want to go to that school on that alone. It helps for sure. Yeah, I know what you mean, but I don't know if they have a swim team. I don't I don't think they have a swim team or else I would have looked at it.

uh your boobs are huge by the way uh just uh because i haven't been back since since we got the the bike the specialized electric bike finally was able to take it out yesterday went fucking forever rode for like 45 miles yeah it was fucking awesome dude and it was so cool because it still felt like a workout oh yeah but then i just went so goddamn far it was awesome right yeah people people think that the

I mean, it's definitely a luxury, but it is such a game changer. Like, people think that it does the work for you, but it's just a pedal assist. So, like, you're still... You still have to be pedaling. Yeah, you're still going for it. It just allows you to go places. Yeah, I went way further than I normally would go because normally I go to about...

25 miles or so. Right. It's about my limit until my knees are like, all right, buddy, fucking wrap this up. And your ass, I imagine your ass is not feeling great either. No, my ass feels good. Are you repping shorts with the padding? Oh, you have to. I do. I'm like, yeah, yeah. That's how stupid I was is like, um,

Specialized gave me a bib. You were like, this isn't going to look cool. Yeah, and I put on, it was the ones that has the overalls. Oh, I love that when your nipples all pop out. Yeah, do the nipples go on the inside or the outside of the strap? Yeah. That's a great question. Well, it depends on how you got some wide-ass shoulders. Then your nips are on the inside. Oh, really? Yeah. Well, I gave mine away. Your boobs are huge. Yeah.

I gave mine away, and then I started riding the bike, and truly, 15 minutes into riding... You gave your bibs away? Yeah, yes, yes. Who did you give the bibs to? That's what I was wondering. It was because I was doing that whole move thing, so I just had to start clearing my closet. So yeah, I gave it to Goodwill, and then I ended up staying in my house, and I started riding the bike, and 15 minutes into riding the bike, fuck.

fuck dude. Like your, your tank is on fire. Yes. It's on fire. Hey, it hurts so bad. You have to have butt cushion. Picker didn't happen. I'll get a pick up my, uh, my dry tank. Your sore purple tank. You got it. Yeah, no, I'm fully, you get, you gotta wear those shorts. You have not. Do you not ride the bike Jersey? Uh,

I've been a little, I was in Arkansas. I haven't ridden it since I've been back, but I did take my boy for a bike ride the other day. It's great. Nice. The best. I didn't go 45 miles, but you know, we got pretty hilly over here. Hilly topography. That's what's cool about that bike is you are able to just monster up a hill that normally, like, because I, you know, down, I live down here on the beach in Orange County, and if

If you start to head towards Laguna, it gets mad hilly over there. And some of these hills I see and I'm like, well, absolutely fuck that. No way I'm going to go up that hill. And now I was just like, wah, wah. Yeah. People look at you like you're a superhero. I didn't turn it on because I'm with my kid and I didn't want to be like, come on, dude. What are you doing? And he's like, meanwhile, you're sorry. Wait. My dad's amazing. Yeah.

My dad left me. Come on. Don't tell me you're a bitch. I won't raise a bitch. I'm raising an asshole. You can't really tell that it's an electric bike unless you really look at it because the energy pack, the battery is what they call them, is on the inside of the bike. It's not like the other ones where it's chunky and it's on the outside and you can totally tell. It's built into the frame. Yeah, it's built into the frame. And the motor. You just soar past people and I'm like...

The whole time I'm like, this motherfucker thinks I'm pro. Look how fast I just blew him out the water. And I'm like, he might be a bike scout. He might be a scout. Yeah, there's that. Who's eyeing me and is like, I got to get this guy on the Olympic cycling team. If he's a true cyclist, he knows. Oh, sir, I don't like it. Immediately. That's all they do. They look at other people's bike and they go, is that real? Is that real? How much does it cost? And is he fast? Yeah.

I got a homie who's in my pod who's a cyclist and some dude. Wait, you do another pod? Wait, you do another. Hang on. Wait a second. Did you and Kyle start a fucking pod, dude? Yeah. Get over it. In my COVID pod. And he's a cyclist and he saw this dude cruise past us the other day. He goes, that's an $18,000 bike. And I was like, fuck. Damn. Sick. If you have an $18,000 bike. Yeah, you better be pro. And you paid for it. You're a sucker. Like, you better be fast enough that you start getting that shit for free.

What? How easy is it to come up on a bike sponsorship? That's not... My point is that if you're spending $18,000 on a bicycle, you're a fucking sucker. That's a lot of money. Be faster and get that shit for free. And that's an asshole speaking. This is the way. Okay. I like that. I like what you're saying. I would say the cap...

is 10 grand. If you're paying more than $10,000 for a bicycle, by the way, $10,000 to you guys at home is crazy money for a fucking bicycle, but it is like a relative thing. That, yeah, that sounds, so you're saying that if you're gonna get

Get to the level where you pay $18,000, then just take out a Huffy and ride it so fast that bike companies have no other choice but to be like, this person needs a free bike. Well, not a Huffy, but get your $5,000 or $3,000 bicycle. Even that's a ton of money. How much do bikes...

I know, but I'm just saying, this is a... Dude, this is... It's a crazy world. Road bikes are expensive. I don't know. I bought a pretty mid-level one. I think it was like two grand or three grand. So, like, do that. But these carbon fiber joints, like, if you're really, like, racing and trying to get that edge, the wheels, the rims or whatever, the components, everything's light. This shit gets crazy. What I'm saying is be fast enough to not have to pay that crazy money. Yeah, that's just some, like, rich guy shit. Because unless you're, like, truly...

in a race, it doesn't matter. It's like just for exercise, right? So like, it doesn't really matter if you go that extra little bit faster. - But have you heard about this new thing called Flexercise?

No. What is it? Oh, because you're flexing on them. It's when you're exercising. I just made it up. No, I've heard of it. It would be when you're exercising and you're trying to flex on something. Yeah, I know. That's actually the name of me and Kyle Nuchak's podcast. Flexercise. Flexercise. Flexercise the demons.

Now I don't believe you. There's no way that's a real podcast. You had me? Now I don't believe you. There was a quote from Kenny Powers where they're like, did you run track or whatever? He goes, I don't want to be the best at exercise. Yeah, it's so good. He goes, I do. He's like, yo, you play baseball? He goes, I'm an athlete too. I do triathlons. He goes, oh, cool. You're like the best at exercise? Yeah.

Yeah, totally. But if you turn into flexercise, everybody's flexing on the gram as far as fucking workouts go. Some of that shit is so funny when dudes are just doing shit that's so bizarre. At the gym?

Oh, yeah. Where it's like they're like jumping out the pool with like wiggle weights. And it's just like it's comedic what they're doing. It's like, yeah, actually, there's a point to that. Actually, it's called muscle confusion. I have a set of wiggle weights. I follow. Is it Jim fuckery on Instagram? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Me, too. So good. There we go.

is it just porno it's only it's porno in jim's it's just a guy named jim yeah and his fuckery he's fucking a person named rey is it like people doing weird ass exercises it's everything it's people from like from like trying to bench press too much and like eating shit and then people doing like weird exercises in the corner like or just like a guy who like is just lifted way too much weight and then just passes out and just like butthole comes out pink socks it

Yeah, a lot of vomiting after deadlifting is the best. They're just like... Just having your anus drop out the bottom. I know. It's just like, just do a little less weight. Yeah. Just do a little less. You don't need to detach your rectum. It doesn't have to be that way. Sounds like a bitch move to me. This is the way. But do you think we should start a fitness empire together called Flexercise and then make shirts that say...

Do it, lift it, detach your rectum. Yeah. And then we sell pink socks. Or we'll workshop the merch. I thought maybe are you flexing would kind of be more like. Oh, yeah. No, there's that too. Are you flexing? Yeah. Always. We have are you flexing shirts from Workaholics. Are you flexing? If you're not, do it, work it, shoot your asshole, detach your asshole. Detach your rectum. Detach your rectum. And then we sell tube socks that are pink.

and you can buy those. - Right, pink sock fitness? - Yeah, pink sock fitness. - It's like if you really go, 'cause it's like if you throw up during a workout, great, you put in some effort. If your fucking asshole shoots out of your butt cheeks,

If you turn your butthole inside out because you're pushing so much fucking weight, bro. Yeah. Yeah. That means you really, you really, really went for it. Truly. Yeah. I mean, has The Rock ever detached his rectum? Oh, for sure. I don't know. I guarantee you. I don't know. Well, he hasn't posted that on the gram, so we don't know if it's real. Because he doesn't realize how cool it is. And if he hasn't, then maybe he's a bitch. Maybe he is a bitch. Yeah.

We need to start normalizing. You can't be a workout guy and not detach your rectum. You have to turn your asshole inside out. Otherwise, you're a freaking bitch.

get in the gym Adam please tell me someone just came in the room and heard you say you have to detach your asshole yes my little sister just came and gave me a coffee and heard me say you have to detach your rectum shut up by the way she doesn't bat an eye she didn't bat an eye she just knows this is how I talk here's your tea here's your oakley coffee feel better oh my god

Yes. That's a strong, steady damn. God damn. T-I-I or die, baby. T-I-I nation. Pupusa! Stand up.

Yeah.

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Freaking Christmas around the corner. Yeah. How was... Oh, we haven't talked about Thanksgiving. Did anybody gain extraordinary weight? Oh, I'm still on my shit. Yeah, I gained some weight. I'm shooting this movie right now, and I'm like... I'm getting all the production stills, the still photographers giving me all the photos. Pizza, pizza. And my God...

The first few weeks, I'm like, I had a jawline. It was real tight. It was right after the wedding. I was looking pretty good. Hot as fuck. Hot, hot, hot, hot. I lost some weight because of the COVID. I had that COVID skinny jawline going. You need to get on that Omicron, bro. Hollywood secret. And then now, you know, I've just, I've bottomed out. Pants aren't fitting me right. Your boobs are huge.

My underwear is flappy, you know, when you gain weight. Oh, yeah. And the elastic strap at the top is folding over onto itself. That's when you know you've turned a corner. Also, are they like, hey, on Monday we got to bring you in for a fitting? And you're like, what? What?

Yeah, it's just real quick. Didn't we already do all the fittings? Yeah, it's just pants don't seem to be fitting you. Your boobs are huge. Your boobs are huge. We need the refit. Your boobs are huge. T-shirts just aren't fitting you the same. We had to throw out an entire wardrobe. Thousands of dollars. You're just a wardrobe nightmare. Yeah.

You're just riding your bike. Your thighs are getting bigger and more muscular. Your boobs are getting huge. Ellen Barkin, who's a co-star in the movie with me, told me that I need to stop riding the bike. She's like, your thighs are too huge. It's like they're giant. They're like...

They're enormous. Did you tell her that they're your gift? Yeah, like this is my, this is God's gift. They're your gift and your curse. These meaty dogs. I'm like, feel them, touch them. And that is sexual harassment at work. But I was like, rub them, feel them. Right. Harassment. It's science. Did you say quit your barking? I never said I need to. I need to. Yeah. Hey, quit your barking. Definitely. She's going to love that joke. Are you,

you're gonna love that i do like uh when you work with somebody who just doesn't really know you well but just cuts you right they're like hey your fucking legs are too big action dude they just g-checked out the gate uh admittedly i love i love my meaty ass thighs dude i love that we all do that when you see me in pants you're like that's an oddly shaped man right there yeah it's getting to be your signature if anything people are watching your movies for your

thighs from my thighs and they're gonna start having thigh shots in movies yeah the google the google searches give me does adam divine know how big his thighs are it says does adam divine have thigh implants yes what the fuck that's interesting are they too big for pants and the answer is yes are you on thyroids divine's on thyroid i uh in the waist

Well, until I recently gained 10 pounds. But the waist of my jeans are skinny. But then through the thighs, I can't fit my leg through the hole.

Yeah. You know? Yeah. That's life. I'm living in a nightmare. That's life. I feel bad for you, dude, because truly you cannot find pants that fit you. I can't. But I think cycling. That's life. Like people who cycle, they obviously have strong legs, but like, and I guess it depends on your body type, but like at least you're doing cycling as opposed to just squats all day long. Do you know what I mean? Sure. Yeah. And you're not doing that because of your knees, correct?

Yeah. I mean, like you don't do like power lifting with your legs, right? No, no, no. He does lift. I was just in Atlanta with Adam and he did me because I don't do leg workouts. I just run. Yeah, I work out my legs. And I did like a little bit of a leg workout with Adam and I felt like my fucking legs were going to fall. What are you doing? Like lunges? Yeah, a lot of lunges. Oh, my God. That's that'll wake you. That'll wake you up. Flexor size on them, baby. Squats with just like...

dumbbells not like super heavy like an air squat but you're holding weight yeah holding uh like 60 pounds or whatever oh just with your arms up in there no he definitely had yeah go ahead and say it 60 pounds yeah dude what do you saw two 30 pound dumbbells is that what you're saying yeah

Yeah. Dude, that shit is hard. That shit is rough. Well, did his rectum fucking detach? No, he's not doing it enough. Then what are we talking about here? Admittedly, I think I was going a little extra. I was putting a little extra juice on it too because I was trying to be cool in front of you, Blake. You're my cool friend. I was trying to be cool with you. Dude. Were you really?

I think he was. He was definitely bringing it. That's an asshole right there. That shit's important. Oh, shit. A bitch is in the gym? Well, let me show him how it's done. Oh, man. It was cool. I felt like my man's as strong as hell. Yeah. Thanks, guys. I am very... I'm a fat, strong guy, you know? You got those Karsten Warhol thighs, huh? Yeah. Well said.

What's weird is I didn't even remember who the fuck that was from when you told us. I was like, who is that? I thought it was like a quarterback for the Bengals or something. Bengals. Not the case. How many Carstens are there in the NFL? There's Carson. There used to be Carson Palmer. Carson Wentz, Carson Palmer. Carson Daly. Was it like Johnny Carlin?

Carson. Was it like the year 1996? Yes, sir. Everyone just named their kid Carson. Yeah, I think that's how it goes. If you're naming babies, dude, when you get into the mix, you just get on the list and you go, oh, yeah, I guess everyone is named Carson.

Aiden. Was Carson a, like, was that the mom and dads were watching Johnny Carson and they're like, oh, fuck, Carson's a cool first name, actually. I mean, that shit happens because when the Kardashian, somebody had a kid named Mason, all of a sudden Mason became the most famous baby name, like, number one baby name. Yeah. And, like, when the Friends had the baby Emma, everybody was named Emma suddenly. Every baby was named Emma. Right.

Really? And then like all our kids are named like Khaleesi and fuck. There's hella Khaleesi's. Yeah. Kanye. Uh.

Is there really Khaleesi's out there? I have yet to meet them. Oh, yeah. For sure. Yes. And people were lit up that Khaleesi ended up being, spoiler, a villain of the show. Okie dokie. Yeah. They're like, no, she's a little angel. Couldn't get there. Yeah, no. It's sad when you name somebody after a TV star and then the series just takes a turn and you have to rename your child. Oh, man. Yeah.

Did you have a lovely Thanksgiving or was yours just hectic and fucked up? No, it was good. It was good. It was a little hectic, a little fucked up. It was good. Good food. Great oldies. You don't make any of the dishes though, right? Did any of y'all get in the kitchen? Because I kind of got in the kitchen this Thanksgiving. I'm pretty proud of myself. It's my first time.

I carved the turkey. Let's just put it that way. Okay. That's nice. Okay, because that's some man shit to do. Yeah. I got Omaha Steaks hooked me up. Yeah, what the fuck? How'd you get... Well, dude, I worked for Omaha Steaks. I've talked about them on, I think...

This podcast? Colbert. Oh, Colbert. And this podcast. And so then from then on, they were just like, yeah, whenever you want, if you're ever having any sort of holiday get together or whatever, hit us up. And so the last couple of years I've been like, hook it up. And they did, man. It's like such a. That's so cool. I mean, it's the best. My God. I mean, how much do we have to talk about them until they start sending some stuff maybe our way for like Christmas dinner? Yeah. Because I would love.

love to have that on my plate. I would love that for you. I mean, I don't know. I also worked for them when I was 16 years old. Do they do a tenderloin? Do you know people? You might have to go work in the call center for like six months to a year. Oh, damn. I feel like Blake would. Yeah, I can see that for Blake. Yeah, there's a lot of places that I would put in time just to get free shit. Wienerschnitzel.

Huh? Where? Wienerschnitzel. Fast food? Schnitzel? Yeah. How do you say it though? Wienerschnitzel. I don't think that's how it's pronounced. You lose! Wienerschnitzel? Isn't it Wienerschnitzel?

schnitzel isn't that what it is i don't know dude i googled you you're the fucking swedish norwegian you tell me that's german bitch yeah it's german i think you're german so uh so i'm gonna go shoot uh this uh show in berlin

And now I'm reading, maybe because of this new Transformer variant, Omicron, roll out! I might not be able to go to Germany. That would suck, dude. Oh yeah, that would suck. Yeah, that would be terrible. Berlin is tight. My brother lived there. It's a fucking cool town. I want to go there so bad.

I want to go there so bad. You guys should come visit when I'm doing the show. That'd be so fun. We could do an international pod. Now we're talking. What's the deal? Will you be there in October? Because I think Germany, I think. Oktoberfest. No, I'll be there in the coldest time of the year. Disappointed! I'll be there January, February, March, April, May. Oh, yes.

Oh, yes. This year. This year. Oh, you got to go to Germany in May. Actually, maybe you do. I don't know. Hey, maybe. You got to go to Norway in May. I know. Definitely not February. I'm like looking at temperatures. I'm like the average temp is like negative 10. I'm like, oh, sick. Yeah. Oh, God damn. God damn. God damn. I mean, whatever. You're from fucking Omaha. It's the same shit. It's all a bunch of German people, dude. Yeah. It'll just be fine. It'll just be like you wear a coat and then you're mostly just inside cool sex clubs and stuff. You're going to feel like you're in Omaha.

- Yeah. - Everyone's gonna look very corn fed. You're like, okay, yeah, this checks out. - Yeah. - Omaha is the Germany of the United States. - How fat do we think I'm gonna get while shooting the show? That's a real cue. - You're gonna be obese. - Just beer and bratwurst. - Rotund. - Rotund. - Your boobs are huge. - Remember when I,

It was after shooting the first Pitch Perfect. I came back and we had to do like a red carpet for some shit for to promote workaholics. And I came back and you guys hadn't seen me the entire time I was gone. The three months I was off shooting the first Pitch Perfect movie. And I came back and I remember Ders goes, holy shit, dude.

Right. Pizza pizza. Because my head was just like 25 pounds heavier. The red carpet started sinking. It turned into quicksand. We had to bail him out. This dude just started to slip through the cracks. Yeah, big boy. Well, even if Germany causes you to gain a lot of weight, I do hope you need to go and film there. Yeah, I feel like you're getting back in character for Bumper. Yeah. Yeah, Bumper was kind of, you know, a little more of a chunker. But I don't know what the scripts are like. I don't know if...

you know, can you give spoilers? What, what, what? Yeah. The scripts are a bumper and became hot as fuck now. Okay. Oh,

Yeah, he's super hot, sexy-ass dude. That's a great one. Oops, sorry about it. That's cool. So they're recasting you? Oh! No, no, no, no. He's still a fat fuck. Bumper's super sexy. Adam, can we talk? Adam, recasted. You've been eating the wiener schnitzel. You've been at the schnitzel. Schnitzel.

By the way, come in Blazers DMs and tell them how it's pronounced. Oh, yeah. Please, everybody. TII Nation, come on in. Come on, come on. I'm ready to hear it. Germany. What's funny, when you go to Germany, everyone's either super tall and skinny or hella stout and thick.

There's no, like, in between. All right. That's it. I could get in with that. Yeah. They're just roly-polies or they're just tall tent poles. Yeah. Dogs and cats living together. Mass hysteria. That's dope. I'm excited for it. I can't wait. You guys have to come visit. How long are you there? You're there for months. Yeah, I'm there for, like, four or five months, something like that. That's going to be absolutely insane. Wow. To live...

live abroad like that yeah i've never done anything like that fully omni-chromed yeah i hope it happens because that's going to be an adventure that you'll never never forget

I like how he got sexy there at the end. Freaking see ya. Yeah. Well, should we give flowers or take backs or apologies or giveaways now? Yeah. Freaking heck, man. Yeah, we could do that. I would like to give Kyle Lewichek his flowers. You know, he was a big part of the podcast for the first however many episodes, 60 something that we've done. Kyle betrayed me. But then he betrayed us and he lied, tried to hide and he died deep inside. And I know the reason why.

What is that from? An Eminem song? Tenacious D. No, that is from Tenacious D. Kyle betrayed me and then he lied. Tried to hide and I died deep inside. Yeah, I don't know. You know? Yeah, it's great. Oh, you gotta get on that. Actually, you know what's a really great rewatch is like Tenacious D did, like had a show for HBO way back in the day. Oh yeah, I watched that. It's fucking funny, dude. Is it on HBO Max? That's a great question. I don't know. I just watch it like

clips on YouTube, but... Yeah. And then I also think I actually have the DVD of it. Todd says yes. Our producer says yes. Todd says it's on HBO Max. Check it out. So TII Nation, run those numbers up on that Tenacious D show on HBO because that shit was fucking funny, bro. Fucking funny.

Okay, Fonny, bro. Is Mr. Show on there, too? I mean, I feel like HBO has a bunch of deep cuts that aren't on there. Okay, yes, it is. Dude, HBO, yeah, holy shit. That's my favorite app, I think, right now. That's the one I'm watching the most. I like Tubi because it has the Freak Brothers, a great cartoon. I also enjoy Tubi. Fabulous furry Freak Brothers. Check it out on Tubi. Dude, let me give you guys flowers. How about...

I went over to some store in Hollywood and they had a whole freak brothers like Fred Siegel, right? Installation. Yeah. Yeah. Fred Siegel. If you're in Hollywood, uh,

I haven't been able to go yet. Going tomorrow. But it looks, all the photos I've seen, it looks fucking phenomenal. It looks so cool. It was crazy. A whole Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers installation. Yeah, you know what else is wild that I saw? What? Is that they pulled up with a bus to San Diego Comic-Con yesterday. Like, Comic-Con is back. What the fuck? I didn't even know. It's now? Yeah. Comic-Con is this week. It's like today and yesterday. Yes. I thought Comic-Con was in the middle of the summer. Yeah.

I think it was like a makeup con or something. I don't know, but they definitely, Oh, I think you're confused. It's makeup. Oh, that's makeup. Yeah. It's Sephora. Cosmetology. Yeah. All the Kardashians are there. And then like, we just kind of slid freak. Well, you know what? We might be able to get a Kardashian on the freak brothers. Now that, uh,

the homie Pete Davidson. Yes. Is boinking one of them. Yes sir. Kim. They're in love. Kim. Kim. Wow. Wow. She's like the biggest bootied one. Okay. He got game. He got game. He does. It is funny to me how people are like, how does he keep doing? It's like,

He obviously has extraordinary game and manipulation tactics. I'm sure he's just really good at talking to girls. Yeah. I would probably be pretty bad at it. Blake, horrific. Yeah, I would be very bad. A Kardashian is not on my map. That's not happening. No. I'm not going to wrangle that. I wouldn't even want... That's the upkeep with that. It's too much. Part of me is like...

I mean, whatever. I hope everything works out. I hope they're in love. I hope it's great. But like now you have like Kanye West publicly going on Instagram. Like I want her back. Like the drama, the press. That is crazy. Like why would you step in that? What he's Kanye West went on Instagram and said, I want,

Kim back? Yes. He posted a picture of him and Kim from like back in the day in love and is like, this is just a moment in time. Like we'll be back in some Bible passage or some shit. Yeah. Like imagine doing that to an ex-girlfriend on a public platform. Like that's just not,

This is not the game, dude. I shouldn't do that? Exactly. That is not game. Yeah. That is the opposite. Like, how often does that work with an ex-girlfriend as a way to get her back is to just be like... If I had to guess, and I know chicks, 100% of the time. Yeah.

It's science. I forgot you knew chicks. Yeah, I don't know. I know chicks. But like, yeah, why? It's such a landmine. But I guess it's like a do it to do it. Yeah. I mean, there's no way this dude thinks he's going to spend more than two months in a relationship with this person. I mean, unfortunately, I just don't think that like the environment will allow it. Right. You're going to go in fucking sane. Yeah. This is too much, dude. That is so hard. But it's like.

Well, in the meantime, let's get him on. Let's get Kim on Fabulous Furry Free Brothers. Yeah. And exploit the relationship now that he's in it. Adam, see? Exactly. Now you're thinking like a fucking producer, baby. Producer hat. Yeah, I'm producing the shit out of this. Yeah, let's get at her. But yes, please watch Fabulous Furry Free Brothers on Tubi streaming now. Yeah, it's really easy to get. I thought it was going to be a pain in the ass when I first heard about Tubi. No, super easy. But you just fucking install it and...

So if you guys are looking to get an app, it's actually, you just download the app. Yeah, but it's free. And then there's tons of shit on it. You don't have to put in any information. It's just one click. Boom. You've got it. And you get movies. What you're describing is television. Exactly. They're just like, let's be television again. Yes. Which we all just want television back, please. We just want TV back. Why is this happening? Why?

When you guys were in the hotel, I think maybe we talked about this already, but isn't there something beautiful about just flipping channels? Oh, just back to swag surfing. Flipping channels. I watched all of Titanic because it was just on TV. I was hungover in my hotel room and I just was like, you know what? I'm going to watch this three-hour movie with commercials. Right, exactly. And it was fun and I enjoyed it. Really? Yeah.

yeah this holds up oh was it a hoot oh titanic's a good movie dude yeah james cameron come on avatar i mean the guy makes very good movie i would say terminator over avatar but so would i avatar but avatar you're having a hard time speaking today it's early for me okay avatar it's a bagel but um we were trying to uh it's a bagel because you told me you watched uh titanic and

I was trying to remember what the story was. Why was Leonardo DiCaprio on the ship? He was coming... He was playing an Irish person? No, he's American. It's an upstairs-downstairs situation. It's like the rich people upstairs, poor people downstairs. He won a ticket on the thing and was like, I'm going to go on the Titanic for fucking shits and giggles. And then he meets... Well, it's just...

one of the biggest movies of all time. I've probably seen it probably seen it three times, I guess. Yeah. And they meet and then they got the boat goes down. Spoiler. Yep. Spoiler. And that's how good of a movie it is. It's like, you know, right away that obviously the boat's going to sink and everyone's going to die. Right. But but you still care the entire time.

You know why? Billy Zane. Billy Zane. I was about to say I was going to give my shout out. The Zane train. To Billy Zane because he hadn't been mentioned, but thank you, Anders, because Billy Zane is one of the best actors of all time. Yeah, a real treasure. When he gets on the getaway boat, he throws some kid aside and is like, move. Yes, he's so good. I could rattle off a few iconic roles of Zane. Titanic, Tombstone. Do we...

I mean, we got to cast Billy Zane in something. We got to get on that Zane train. I'd love to. I'd love to work. I've worked with Billy Zane before. I did a show. I'd love to. I have. Work with him again. Fuck the sound.

It was a short-lived sitcom called Samantha Who that I was on way, way back in the day. And he was also on it. Very nice guy from what I remember. I want to say Shawn Clements produced something. Very funny writer, workaholics guy. Hollywood handbook. Produced something with Billy Zane was like the star of it. Love it. Great.

Great eyebrows. And said he was good. Said he was fun. Zane train. We're on the Zane train, baby. Let that be known. T-I-I or die. So any giveaways, take backs, apologies? My shout out was to Billy. I would like to give flowers to you guys for sticking with the podcast. Thank you. Finally. I'm outtie.

And finally, we're going to shine the way we've always meant to shine, which is being the number one podcast in the world. Absolutely. Which I feel like we're well on our way now. Right. And with that said, TII Nation, please like, subscribe, tell your friends. We need the listeners. We're trying to beat

Sonny and Rogan at this point. We're trying to be the biggest podcast in the world. Right. And also watch us on the YouTube. Absolutely. Yeah. That's more fun. We haven't, we haven't, we haven't pushed the YouTube very hard. I've realized, but I,

I've recently gone and looked at some of the clips. Super fun. It's fun to see Blake's little smirky expressions. Hi. Hi, YouTube. You can check out my She-Hulk back here. Yeah, which is Marvel announced. Hot, hot, hot, hot. My little Sam Cooke. And then look at my hot boys right there. Ooh.

So cute. What do we got here? We're crawling on a Wayman's butthole right there. Is Nucek in that photo or is it just the three of us? No, it's how it's supposed to be. See ya. Yeah, good. It's what the fans want. Absolutely not. Absolutely not. I miss him. I miss him. And if you want Kyle back, make sure that you boycott

what we do in the shadows, because that will get him back quicker, I think. Oh, wow. Is that what's happening? Can I apologize? Or can I urge you to do a take back real quick? Nah. We love Kyle. We love what we call shadows, because we just don't have time to say the whole name and also forget it. Yeah, it's too bad he's not here. I apologize to the fans, but I'm not a bitch. Deal with it, asshole. Yeah, get him. And that's another episode of...

This is important. But not to Kyle. Freaking see ya. Hear that? Pumpkin. That's fall calling. And the pumpkin spice latte is back at Starbucks. From that first sweater to late autumn weather. It's all a fall in just one sip. Order ahead on the Starbucks app.

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