Ep 71: How To Smoke Weed Around Kids
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Welcome to This Is Important, a production of iHeartRadio, the show where we only talk about what is most obviously very crucially important. Today on This Is Important... Angry Tangle in a Funky Jungle. I like both of those a lot. I come from the grind era, you know. Can I smoke weed? Hello. Pull the ripcord. Here we go again. Let's go! Let's go!

We're baby. Popo Sa! And welcome back to the podcast, Kyle. Good to have you again, my man. Diarrhea. Bulbo. Hey, I'm just happy to hear the K-Fed, happy to hear the diarrhea, happy to see you guys, happy to be here. Popo Sa!

Friendship. Are we counting this as number two or one for Kyle? I think this is three. This is three. Yeah. Friendship. The friendship. Full boat. The boy is back in town and we're not talking Thin Lizzy. The boy is back in town. The

Hello. You know, guys, I do want to, one time on the pod, have a serious competition where we all... No, sir, I don't like it. Try to sing a song as well as we can. No joke about it. Oh, dude, I was thinking about that, Blake. Here it is. What do you mean? I was singing the old...

Folgers theme because I got this. Okay. Should we each try that? Okay. Yeah. I'm an Oakland coffee man. Yeah, I'll start. And don't be funny about it. No, no. I was testing my mic and I was doing it. Okay, you ready? Okay. Let me wet my whistle. So weirdly, why did Folgers give us... They sent me a mug too in like 5K cups. Because they're fucking G's. They get it. Yeah. Big shout out. Yeah. And they have the best theme song of all time. And here it goes. Here's my rendition. All right. Let's hear it. The best...

part of waking up is Folgers in your cup. Okay. Okay. Very good. Started off rough. I love it. Rough? Rough. Yeah, it wasn't. I mean, it's cool. It's cool to hear someone try. And that's, I think, what it's. Well, I think I should. Yeah, go ahead. I want to redo. Okay, wait. Ders. Now, really try.

The best part of waking up is Folgers in your cup.

He rushed it at the end. He did. He kind of pulled the ripcord on it. I think what happened is Durst got a little scared at the end. He was being a little vulnerable. I was scared my career was going to take off. Yeah, he was being a little vulnerable by singing, and that scared him. I don't want to get pigeon-held as a musician. You have a very...

who was raspy raspy voice yeah who was that guy in like the 90s he had kind of a mullet he was like rick ashley are we talking 90s yeah wait no what was that guy's name he was fucking cool you're talking about don henley of the eagles no i'm not talking about don henley his name it was summer what was that guy's name fuck i'm gonna have to really what did tom waits what do you mean

Yeah, it was Tom Waits. There's a ton of people with raspy voices. It wasn't Tom Waits. It was like he didn't sing Desperado. Brian Adams? Is it Brian Adams? Brian Adams? It's not Brian Adams, but you are Brian Adams adjacent. But wait, did he sing on the Robin Hood soundtrack or not? He must have. This guy was built for the Robin Hood soundtrack. Oh!

All right, Blake. It was Rod Stewart. It's obviously Rod Stewart. Rod Stewart. It's not Rod Stewart. It's freaking... Hey, well, Blake, if you don't know, then you don't know. And it's your turn to sing. Okay. All right. Durs, I really liked that. Thank you. You can't set it up and then try to dodge the sing. All right, all right. Here we go. All right.

The best part of waking up is Folgers in your cup.

Wow, with the flourishes. He put a little flourish. Yeah, it sounded real. Yeah, he put a little flourish on it. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, that was nice. That was great. I mean, that was a good rendition, bro. See, here's what's cool is that, Adam, you sing. I don't sing, though. And I'm wondering how much better yours is actually going to be than ours. Yeah, come on. Yeah, probably not much better. That's the thing is I don't sing. Nope. Don't preface. Okay. Go ahead. Let's hear it.

The best part of waking up is forges in your cup. Wow. In your cup? Give me a hell yeah. That was really good. I don't know. I don't know the song. I like that. You made it your own. No, that was really, really good. It was like a much higher register. Arguably the best. Best part.

God of Waking Up. There you go. His bulge is in your car. Now that one has some stink on it. I like that. See, that's more my range. I thought it was higher. That was Skinny Luther right there. That sounded like the mini mall guy. It's just like a mini mall. The market. Oh, yeah. That guy freaking rocked. Oh, my God. Hey, can I rock your guy's world?

Please. Absolutely. Oh, chocolate. Okay. Changes the game. Wake up. Chocolatey payday. Now, if you've been listening to us for a long time, you'll remember that I got a payday candy bar. We kind of got into it about it. Not really. Um,

You know what I mean? Well, some of us like it. Some of us don't. Some of us claim it's a candy bar. Some of us don't. And this one's covered in chocolate. So is this just a Baby Ruth? Yeah, that's definitely. They are. Yeah. Does Baby Ruth have the connective tissue the same as the payday? Oh, like the heavy nougat membrane? I thought a Baby Ruth was just like a nougat.

Like a payday. A payday was just a naked baby Ruth, but now this is a chocolate payday. It's just caramel, right? Or caramel? Caramel? How do you say it? I don't know. I say it both ways. Nougat? I thought it was nougat on the inside. No, the stuff in the Three Musketeers is the nougat, I think. That is like a caramel. Yeah, you're right. Covered peanut caramel bar, but now it's covered in chocolate.

Connective tissue is caramel. Okay. So let me ask you this. Is that here to stay? Is that a permanent or is that a limited edition chocolate covered payday? Because some of these limited edition candies are fucking good as fuck and I wish they'd stick around. Yeah.

you know who went crazy i don't know if it's here to stay but reese's over the holidays went crazy what's up with them bro peanut brittle reese's peanut butter cups were so fucking good yeah i about lost my mind i almost lost it they had a reese's peanut butter christmas sweater that you could

buy oh my god i took a bunch of pictures i'll post them but like i was at cvs and i was just in the aisle oh my god and they had a zillion insane things dude the peanut brittle if you can still get out there and get some of those christmas candies before they expire peanut brittle was it peanut brittle or was it toffee peanut butter cups this one i got like specifically these had the peanut brittle

It was delicious. I mean, from a marketing perspective, it sounds good. Peanut brittle cups, you know? Absolutely. They went crazy. Yeah. You're buying that for the fam over the Christmas. Yeah. Good job, Reese's. And feel free, Reese's. To send us. Like, no shots fired against Folgers. I like, you know, I actually don't really like Folgers, but...

It's nice that they sent us stuff. But look at that cup. Folgers is like, this is a diner cup. They sent an old school diner cup because Folgers, you know what they are? Fucking OGs of the coffee game. They really are. Yeah, that's right. Well, you say that, Kyle, but what came in that cup? Some fucking bullshit Keurig cups. Well, I know, and they're plastic too. You shouldn't be using the plastic Keurig cups. Use the biodegradable ones.

That's where my dad hides his weed, in an old Folgers can. Yeah. It really is the best part of waking up. Wake and bake. I don't know why he hides it, because who's he hiding it from? You, so you don't smoke his weed.

Also, is he hiding it or just keeping it in a place? Your mom will take that shit. Yeah, man. Roll it up and light it. No, you have to go in his shed. It's behind his toolbox. It's hidden. It's fully like he has to explain where it is. Let a man live an exciting life. Yeah. You know, that shit's important. I think it is like, you know, it's the older generation is still thinking that they're going to go to prison with like eleven dollars of weed on them.

I have knives hidden all over my house.

I believe that about you. Also, though, Folgers cans were... They used to come in a can before these Keurig things popped off. Go off. Go off. The cans were perfect to put stuff in. If you saved them, you washed them out, you could put stuff in them. Tacks, screws, they're perfect for workshops. So, you know, maybe your pop's got something baked in there where he's like, hey, baked in. Where he puts his weed, you know? Just a storage container. This is where I get my...

Work done. Yeah, get a little screwed up in the workshop. By the way, go ahead, Blake. Well, I was just saying, like, also half the fun of smoking weed is when it's illegal and you can get in trouble doing it. Maybe he's just kind of trying to hold on to that mystique. You hide your weed. You go off and have a puff. That's done, though, right? You know, I love weed, and I love weed. Like, here in California, it's fun all the other things. Like having can, right?

you know the company that i invested in having like having that be a legal thing that you could go to the store and buy or any of the like little cookies that you can go buy and little little candies uh but there is something pretty special about when he was illegal and you had to be like on the side on the side of like your mom's house quick quick uh taking a few rips before you had family dinner right smoke

So, yeah, so my so I smoke a lot of like, you know, when I do and I'm on that tip right now. Nice. I'm still going to send it. Nice. And I got a three year old. Right. And my three year old is like, like if I have like a fucking peanut brittle cup or something like that, he'll be like, you eat chocolate.

you you have chocolate right now i come in to like read him a story and i'm fucking smelling like weed because i just went and fucking toked up because i want to do my best in the story daddy smells like giggles sticky you have sticky kind okay and he was like he was like what do you smell like like i came in smelling like weed and he's like what is that smell and i was like

And my wife's like, just say plant medicine. Okay. Plant medicine. And I was like, all right, cool. I smell like plant medicine. And that's what it is. Plant medicine. That's a really good weed name. You should open, start that. Call it God's Burp. I remember as a really young kid smelling, like my mom wouldn't let me go downstairs when my dad was with his brothers and they'd be down there.

And they were obviously smoking weed. But what they would do is also just chain smoke cigarettes to mask the smell. So I never really noticed the weed smell that was that strong. I would be like, oh, this cigarette smell –

smells different than it normally does. That shit's important. So do you think you should start to smoke to, again, to sort of mask the weed smell? I agree. Wait, what? What was that? You got to start smoking cigarettes again. Me to mask it for my kid? Yeah. Or get off the podcast. Or get off the pod. Okay, well, you know, that's an easy choice. Hello. Pull the ripcord. Here we go again. We're back. Shh.

I was very surprised about weed because my dad obviously just was dealing with cancer all of last year. And he was like, I just want to see if I could smoke weed. And then we're like, Dad, you're not going to be able to smoke weed. You have fucking lung cancer.

And then the doctor, we're all FaceTiming because of COVID with the doctor. My dad's in there holding up the phone, doing a piss poor job of it, by the way. And the doc, we were like asking all these questions. And then my dad doesn't have one question about his own health. And then at the very end was like, I got a question. And we're like, oh, he's like, okay, this should be good. All right, good. He's invested. And then he's like, can I smoke weed? And the doctor was like, yeah, I think that would be okay. Right.

because the carcinogen levels are so low and what we're about to put you through, it'll knock that out right away. It's plant medicine, bro. There is some studies, I believe, of it killing cancer in a Petri dish. You know what I mean? There's also some studies of it killing children. What?

What? Shit. It's science. Wait, Kyle, you had quite the run out. Did we ever talk about it when your dog ate the weed? I can't recall. Yeah, we never talked about it. Didn't we? I thought we did. I don't know. Maybe. Are we talking about things we've already talked about today? Then no, we haven't talked about it. It's impossible to know at this point. I mean, yeah, my dog ate a fuck ton of marijuana and then freaked out. Yay!

And then the poor husky was like, you were there, Blake. You came over. We were in my studio and it was just like... It was legit scary. Yeah. Poor husky. She couldn't walk. She was kind of bumping into things and it was sad. Yeah, like super hesitant to step. Were you jealous? It looked kind of like a cool gift. Yeah. Were you like, this dog's getting a high. This dog's glitching. I feel good. Yeah.

so tight. Well, how much weed did the dog eat? You mean medicine? Plant medicine? Yeah, plant medicine. Yeah, the plant medicine. The dog ate a lot of plant medicine. It must have been like at least a fucking quarter, a quarter ounce or something. A

quarter ounce like a food form or was it no no it was just they just ate the flour oh they didn't eat oh oh no she got into fucking honey bro it was the honey pizza pizza okay yeah well I had honey that I was putting into tea and we were making an album or something at that point and it was like making an album she took the tea or took the honey and just munched it remember when we uh had that like cool was it just a lunch meeting with um with cheat

and he gave us like a... No, not Cheech Chong. It was Chong. It was Tommy Chong. No, it was definitely Cheech. No, it was Cheech. It was definitely Cheech. It was Cheech. Blake's right. I never met with Cheech Marin. I met with Tommy Chong. That's the only person I've ever met with. Oh, we went to lunch with Cheech and he gave us... Out in Malibu, right? Mm-hmm. Yeah, and he said that... He was like, this is how you get rich, guys. I was not there. Oh, dude, you missed out. He was a really freaking cool dude. He was awesome. What a legend. But he was saying the most...

The most fucked up he ever got on an edible was off of some weed baklava. Because I think it was like weed infused honey and just like layers upon layers of it. And it just sounded like quite the magical trip. Quite the event. Honey in your tea is great for the winter. That actually reminds me. It makes me want to get some THC honey. Let's not talk about Cheech or Chong because everyone we talk about dies.

Yeah, that's true. So moving on. That's true. Don't talk about people that we like. Good call. Erase that. Scratch that. Yeah, it's been a long time since I've gotten obliterated on weed. Now I know the amount that I like to smoke and just feel good. Yes. But it's been a long time since I've been around a group and instead of going like, hey, we're going to have some drinks. We'll smoke a little bit of weed. We'll do this. It's been a long time since I've been like, all right, we're going to...

hot box this tent or whatever. Get stoned. Yeah, we're gonna wear this gas mask and get fucked up. You don't participate in 420 and say this is gonna be a day where I just smoke my brain out of my head? No. Uh...

No, not really. I smoke the same amount. I smoke almost every day, almost every night. For sure. But I don't go all out anymore on 420, which is sad, which is sad. And I want that back in my life. No, it's actually – it's like the one day that you can kind of treat like the St. Patrick's Day of weed and you can just really go back to college for a day. It's the one day? Yeah.

It's the one day. It's slightly excusable. It's kind of like funny. Excusable? Yeah. That's what I'm saying. It's okay. You can get fucking stoned, especially working this business. You can get stoned all day, every day, and still be okay. You mean medicated? Yeah, stoned, plant medicine, whatever. Yeah, I can't, though, because I can't act...

when I'm really high because I get two in my head. Yeah. Acting is definitely different than sitting at the monitors watching future television or watching future movies. Sure. Absolutely. That's easy. It's good for me to do that because I don't get... Higher sentence have never been said. You got it.

I like smoking weed on set sometimes because... Acting is different than watching future television. Well, it is. I mean, my man is back. I don't know. I don't act enough to know if I would be okay while Superstoned, but I would definitely try it. That's true. Well, I've tried it a few times, and when I watch the performance back, I'm like, oh, I'm too...

I can tell that I'm high and it's, it's, it makes the performance a little wonky, at least for me. But I mean, I did it like when I was first starting out doing standup and then I've never done it again, just because I was like, I know a lot of comics that do get high before shows and they love it. Right. I think that would flip me the fuck out, bro. I think I would tweak. I was like, okay, maybe I'll try that. And so it was like when I was like open micing, it was like six months into doing standup when I'm like, you know, 20 years old or 19. And, uh,

I was like, my whole shit changed. Like, I'm pretty high energy, especially when I'm on stage. Really? And suddenly I was just. Even when I'm on stage. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Especially when you're on stage? Right. Right.

No, even. I got to go on stage to relax. You're the fastest mouth in the West on stage, bro. I'm shooting, baby. And yeah, I was just like slow-mo up there. And I didn't like it. The thoughts weren't coming fast enough. Were you slow-mo? Do you think you seemed slow-mo? Or do you think you just felt slow-mo? My friends in the back of the club were like, hey, you seem really slow-mo.

You were vibro. Yeah. Well, they knew that I had smoked with them. And so they knew that I was trying this for the first time. And they were like,

Yeah, maybe that's not your thing. Yeah. Maybe you shouldn't get high right before. Doug Benson, you're not. Because I think if your delivery is really slow and the way you tell stories is really slow and deliberate, when my shit is coming at you pretty rapid fire. Yeah, it's quick. You're not really getting Doug with high, man. Not everybody can. That is true.

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I definitely got super high before hosting Ellen yesterday, though, Durs. Really? You did? No, dude. No. No way. I would have lost my mind. Plant medicine? You know what he was on? He was on a high adrenaline because when they... I'm in my room waiting to go on and Adam's like, okay, cool. I'm going to go out and start. I go, great. Good luck. You guys were together before the show? Yeah, we just kicked it. Oh, that's cool. Then he took...

what I assume was a massive shit right before? Friendship. Or you were just in the bathroom? Yeah. No, I shit. Okay, yeah. But so then in the hallway, everybody's lined up and they all start clapping, clapping, clapping, clapping, clapping, clapping, clapping, and he's like, and I was like, this dude's about to go to war out there.

out there that was post shit then he bong ripped right after he pooped uh yeah post shit they got it out of me they were kind of the whole production crew so hosted ellen yesterday it was really fun we did two shows uh and it was really it was it was like i just got shot out of a cannon because there wasn't even time to be that nervous really because you did great it happened so fucking quick

But yeah, they the whole like production staff was in the hallway when I came out of my dressing room like let's go at like I'm an elementary school kid. It was like a hype. It was like going to the tunnel of a fucking NFL game. Yeah, I have them trained. All right.

Okay, just hang on. They must do that for all the guest stars. Guest hosts. Or guest hosts, because, I mean, I've done Ellen like a half dozen times, and I've never gotten an applause hallway before. I didn't get it. But did she have it? Did she have it when she came out before you, maybe? That's what I'm wondering. If Ellen, when she hosts, has that go down. Hell, yes, she did. Abso-freaking-lutely. I don't think so. No. I don't know.

No, it's such an old hat for her. No, you have to bow and get down on one knee. It's like a knighting. Let me just say this. It does seem weird that they would just do it for guest hosts. Who was like, hey, a new thing we're going to do for guest hosts is this. Exactly. I feel like maybe they did it for Ellen, too. No, I don't think they do. It doesn't seem like they would, but it seems weird that they just would do that for guest hosts. Who said, let's do that? I want a name. Okay.

I think some guest hosts are, they're either too nervous or they're too in their heads or whatever. And this is just a way for them to be like, we're all behind you. We're with you. Do great. To be like, holy shit. Everyone's in the hallway clapping. I thought it was fun. I thought it was fun. I agree. Well, yeah. Did you feed off it? Did you feed off of it? And then you popped out? Sure. Yeah, man. He bit a PA. Yeah. Yes. Oh, my God. I punched one. That's protocol, though. Yeah. That's protocol. Too hyped? Say yeah.

And then I made Ders, you know, Ellen's thing is like dancing and stuff. So I was really getting into that. And Ders came out. You know his moves. I'm like, come on, Ders, dance with me. And you could just tell Ders didn't really want to dance that much. But he gave me a few wiggles. Oh.

I appreciate them wiggles. Yeah, I shook my butt. Ders has low-key secret cool dance moves, though. Did you pull out any specials? No, because I was like, how long are we doing this? Yeah, and I did it. I wanted to do it. It's a lot of dancing on that show. I wanted to do it a little too long just to make Ders a little uncomfy about dancing. Right.

And I hope I pulled that off. But it was fun. All my dancing is like, I come from the grind era, you know? Yeah, absolutely. So it's very much like middle school grinding. Should I have kind of backed it up in you a little bit? And that would have made you feel... It would have helped me tremendously, for sure. You guys freak dance? Yeah. The freak dance kind of like... On Ellen, I just bend over the couch and you just let me have it. Oh, fuck.

You definitely would have felt a poke coming through on you. You guys should have done the... You guys should have done the dudes who dance on the ottoman. You guys should have gone off on the coffee table in the middle. Call me pipe layer.

Yeah, you should have probably played it. Homegirl from Modern Family. Adam, help me out. Julie Bowen. Julie Bowen went on before me and they did this game where they had to answer a question with three examples of like, hey, name five things you hate about dogs or whatever. And then they would be like, oh, shit, that's easy. Yeah. But you have five seconds to do it. You have five seconds. It's three things in five seconds. Five things you hate about dogs. You can't handle their fucking weed. That wasn't the question. But yeah, it was similar to that.

Five ways you'd kill a dog. And one of them was like, name three things you could call your lady parts. And she called it... She called one of them... An angry tangle. Angry tangle. Oh, that's tight. I know. She's funny. And then the funky jungle. Oh my God. Is this going to air? She was funny, dude. Dang, I would have... That would be hard to do that. I should have played this.

Okay. For Durs coming up. As I back it up into him. I feel like ratings would have soared. It would have been sexual. Angry Tangle and a Funky Jungle. I like both of those a lot. By the way, Funky Jungle isn't even what it was. It was nastier than that. Was it safe for TV? Did it pass? Yeah. Well, the thing is, you forget.

Blake forgets. I also forgot. What those daytime talk shows are, are, you know, people staying at home with their kids, raising their kids. A lot of moms, you know, staying at home with their kids. A lot of young moms. Old moms. And old moms. But,

I'm sorry, mom. They're now like our age. So it's a bunch of like 30-something-year-old women that are staying at home and watching daytime TV. And so, you know, they want to laugh. They want to laugh. They're super horny. They're not all 70-year-olds at home. And they love this stuff. I get that, though. It's horny. Get horny and you want to laugh. As we established last week, they're super horny. Yeah.

We've established that. They're going straight from Young and the Restless over to Ellen, and they are steamed up from that. Yeah.

Do you guys know any soap opera actors? I was thinking about that the other day. Those motherfuckers work every single day, new episode. And the people who are on those shows are on them for 30 plus years, and I don't think I know any of them. And they do like 18 pages a day. Yeah. I knew one dude. I knew one dude. I'm eating the...

Payday right now. It's just okay. How is it? Okay. Chocolate fucked it up. The chocolate fucked it up. Adam, you might have met this dude once. His name is, I think his name was Charles Divens. Oh, shit. I don't know. It sounds like a cool name, though. I'm your friend. Beautiful man. I feel like our homie Satoru Falcon did a- Was he? Yeah, I thought he did for a little bit.

I didn't know that. I don't recall. Wait, Durz, you say they shoot 18 pages a day. Don't they have to come up with a new episode every day? Isn't it like every... Yeah, and these writers are just like... Yeah, it's madness. He has an eye patch now and the cousin's not dead. Yeah, because those are like long-ass...

episodes too right they're filling an hour time spot no half hour half hour they're half hour daytime soaps okay yeah um but this dude charles divans he was like the hottest guy you've ever seen absolutely okay oh okay yep and perfect as far as like acting went we would be doing like scenes and stuff and it's not like he would be you'd be like oh my god this guy's gonna get an oscar but

But he so casually easily could just look at a page and then like – or a couple pages and then just like throw it away and then say the lines and you were like, oh, he not only memorized them as fast as you've ever seen anybody memorize them, but he made them his own, like very natural. You know what I mean? Well, I think – That's incredible. That's an incredible skill. Unreal. It really is. I think you could get – I think all of us could get there though. I mean because it's – As long as we're not smoking on set. Yeah.

Damn. Well, that is true. Yeah. Adam. But it's like when we were like in the rhythm, you know, coming back from the pandemic and then getting back into, you know, the show, like with, for me, The Righteous Gemstones. Mm-hmm.

I felt rusty the first couple days, and then I started to find my rhythm, and then later in the season, I could memorize much quicker than I could before. But if you're on a show like that, and you have to, I feel like you would just get better at memorization exponentially. When I did Champions for NBC... Watch it on Netflix. Watch it somewhere. But the way it was written was kind of like,

everyone had like a chunk of dialogue where you would kind of say your own setup, your own punchline, and then your own tag, as opposed to like you saying a setup and then someone else is zooming by with the punchline. Um, so you have these like chunks to memorize, um,

And it broke my brain because at Workaholics, it was a little bit more like passing the mic. And if we did go on a rant, it was most likely not scripted. So you're still passing it back and forth because it's improv. Yes. And we would be improvising. And if we had like a long thing, you could kind of wing it and change a word here, word there. But so like my brain just broke doing that.

And then ever since I've done that show, I can memorize things so much easier than ever before. Just because I had to because I was like, well, fuck, I don't want to be the guy who doesn't know it. Yeah. And now to read something, memorizing it, it's unless there's like a weird fucking every once in a while, there'll be something that I just can't click with. Yeah. That'll be like this line will not transfer in my brain for some reason.

Right. Do you think those, like when you have the skill, I mean, I've never done it, but do you think like those actors, like your friend on the soap, is he like taking a fucking picture of the page with his mind? Like, how is that happening? That's Meryl Streep. Apparently like she can read a script once or twice and has it memorized. Yeah.

Has like images of it and she knows where it is. No, not even. Well, I don't know if it's she sees the page or she internalizes what she's read, but she just can read it a few pages. And I'm like, well, no wonder you're good then. Yeah, exactly. If I could memorize like that and have it baked into my soul that quick. I'd be so good. She's not that good is what I'm saying. She sucks. She just has this incredible skill. Fucking thing sucks. Do you remember the table read for The Intern?

And the table read for The Intern, which Ders and I were both in with Anne Hathaway and Robert De Niro. Anne Hathaway – And Zach Perlman. And Zach Perlman. My twin. Anne Hathaway didn't look down at her page. She had memorized the script. The whole script –

before the table read which is like a totally crazy insane thing to do like it's usually you just learn your dialogue for the day before as you're doing it live or you might look at like what you're doing for that week and then sort of just have it in the back of your brain but she was like looking at us and turning the page as she's saying her line and I'm like oh no wonder why she's like an academy award

Winner? Well, that's like, I mean, that's probably, you know, obviously it's part of a process, but I would imagine that that's like the one time as an actor you get to, I mean, this is how I think about it as a director. Like that's the one time you get to go through from start to finish and emotionally feel the fucking thing. Yeah. And act out as if it's a play. Yeah. Yeah.

because it's not going to happen after that after that you're just going to be shooting pieces and talking about pieces so that's an incredibly important part yeah i'm with you on that to go from a to b yeah i think i told this story on the pod but since we're doing that um in my in my chem read with her she like fully cried when she was supposed to cry as opposed to just like all right let's see if this guy's any good and i'll kind of like read with them she like went in and i was like

get this. She's really good. This is crazy. She's too good. We're in a tiny, tiny room with three other people and somehow she just fully cried and did the scene for real. Yeah, some people are great at that. You gotta cry better. Kyle, while you were gone, I cried watching the new Ghostbusters.

You did. The Paul Rudd one? The Paul Rudd one. Is that what we're calling it? Yeah, yeah. That's what I'm... Well, I don't know. I'm coming out of a hole. Did you see it? No, I'm coming out of a hole. I just saw the first image. Where can we watch it? Can we watch... Can we rent it yet? I don't know. Is it viable on... I think so. Yeah, no, you can get it on iTunes. I saw... Oh, okay. I think I saw a little banner for it the other day. I think I'm going to snap that up. That's how I know it's a Paul Rudd one. I thought it was well done. My kid loved it.

That's all I know. So you cried. You cried. Yeah. That was weird. How'd that feel? But you know what? I'm actually pissed about it. Yeah. Thank you. So am I. I'm pissed now. I feel like I was being manipulated. I kind of lost my tough friend. Yeah. It's like, there goes the fucking asshole. And you know what? As your tough friend, as I'm sure I'm for everyone. Absolutely. Yeah. It's tough not to be that anymore. Well, sorry. My emotionally unavailable friend. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah.

I'm proud of you, Durs. I'm proud of you. My soulless friend. Guarded. My soulless friend. My robotic friend. Good job. Yes. Just need to recharge.

I just need a recharge. My brother said the same thing. My bro said he cried and he loved it and all that. And I'm like, okay, I got to check it out. I mean, you know me. I love crying during movies. You think it'll get me? Oh, yeah. It's going to get you. Oh, yeah. The bitch. I love it. I love it. It's very like if you like Ghostbusters, they're going for your heartstrings. Absolutely. Cool. We love that. Cool. We love that. All right. Well, I'll check it out. Slimer dies. I'm just kidding.

No. Are you serious? Spoiler alert? Slimer's not in it. No, no. Slimer's not in it. What? Slimer's not in it? There's no Adam Ray origin story or like after the fact or whatever. Oh, God. Adam Ray. Wait, is Adam Ray Slimer? No, Adam Ray was in the Ghostbusters with the female cast. Remember? He was like the rock star. That's just called Ghostbusters. Yeah, but he's also, isn't he also the voice of Slimer?

bros? He might be. You might be absolutely 100% correct. He is. He is. I have no idea. That's incredible. You might be. He is. He's the voice of Slimer in the Paul Feig ones. Oh my gosh. Oh yeah, he's in the rock band. That's right. Yeah. But he's also the voice of Slimer. I believe it. That's huge. By the way, Adam Ray is a friend of ours. Yes.

And a very, very funny comedian. Good buddy of mine. He's a mung angel. He's a mung angel. He's a mung angel. He's among the mung angels. And he was the officiant at my wedding. Yes, he was. He did a great job. Did a great job. Yeah. He really made a little set out of it.

Yeah, but did he do a lot of jokes and stuff or what? No, he had a few couple jokes. As much as you want. He hit me up. I'll let you know, full disclosure, he hit me up before that and was like, hey, in workshop and a few, and some of them were like roast. And I was like, maybe don't roast people in the audience. He did the same thing to me. He's like, dude, I got this joke about Adam's sister. Like, should I do it? And I'm like, I feel like if you're asking me, maybe just don't do it.

That's it. That was it. What was the joke? I didn't know this. What was the joke? It was something about... Yeah, let's do it here in front of hundreds of thousands of people. No, no. It was something about her having like a UTI or something. Huh. I mean, does she have a UTI?

your ti i don't know i can't even remember i just i just knew it was like i'm like don't yeah goodbye i'd done it before i've been the officiant it's not worth it you want to add a wedding talk about love yeah yeah that's it no he did he did a great job it was uh it was pretty short and sweet i think the whole thing was 20 minutes or so yeah

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We got the video back from the wedding and just... You saw ghosts? There were ghosts? There was tons of spirits around us. There was tons of ghosts and spirits in it. Oh, fuck. No, it's just... I gotta talk about that. Dude, I thought I was looking pretty good because I got COVID right before the wedding. And so I lost some COVID fat. Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot.

But then we did nothing but drink for like three days straight before the wedding. So my head is so fucking fat and bloated for all the wedding photos and this video specifically. And then I'm just like crying. I cried the whole goddamn time.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. The bitch. Thank you. Thank you. And I was just like, man, I look fucking horrible. But it made me go like this is actually probably better that I like truly look shitty. That way when I get older and my kids are like, can I see you and mom's wedding photos? And I show them and they go –

Oh, you look the same. You've been fat the whole time. You've been kind of fat and ugly the whole time. And I'm like, exactly. Yes. Your boobs are huge. It's always weird when someone gets in fantastic shape for their wedding and then like immediately they just go back to their regular body size. And then you're like, you're always look back at your wedding and you're like, oh, I look horrible now.

I remember being at like a house of a neighbor, a friend growing up and seeing the parents who were like heavier, seeing their wedding picture and being like, oh my God, who is that? And kind of putting it together and going, oh, like I was a few hundred pounds ago. Sick. Hey, but you had it. A few hundred pounds? People get older, they get bigger. It's the Midwest. My God.

Oh my God. Jesus. They turned into my 600-pound sister. Pasta's a hell of a drug. I love me some pasta. Yo, can I tell you guys this idea that has to do with ghosts at weddings? Okay. Slimer. Slimer spinoff. You know how people like, you can watch these YouTube clips of where it's like, ghosts are real. Check it out. And it's pretty obvious that somebody with After Effects is taking-

Is taking low res like online videos or whatever and putting a low res like blur in the background and shit. They're getting pretty good. It's like, it's cool looking. And I was like, this would be the funniest fucking thing to do to my parents. Right. Is get their wedding video and go put a fucking ghost throughout the wedding video on the old like 1984 VHS quality. So it's like,

And then on their wedding or on their anniversary, say we have to pull it out. I'll get the tape. Come on. I'll be the one to get it. No, this is actually like unlocking something. I think that's where they would know if they were like, if you were the one that like, we have to watch the tape. I'll get it. You play that part organically. You can definitely make it happen. You can make that happen. Then you put the tape in and it's like, what the fuck was that?

There's like a... Wait, what was that? My parents don't have a tape. They have like one photo from their wedding. I'm like, you guys didn't take any photos? And they're like, yeah, no. Any memory video this could work with. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, you could layer new CGI on old footage of videos and you could make something very cool. You guys are just talking about Forrest Gump.

No, this is a prank. Exactly. They took old footage and put Forrest Gump there picking up the girl's books. Maybe you can make it subtle. Remember in Three Men and a Baby where they said there was that dude standing in the closet and everybody's like, it's a ghost or it was a serial killer? Dude, you could do that. We got to show that now. We should show that clip or we'll post that picture. What do you mean? There was like...

There's a scanning shot that goes past a closet and you see somebody looking through the closet doors that are not fully closed. This is pre-internet, so it's all word of mouth. Right. Dude, what it is, it's for sure just like the wardrobe girl who got stuck on set and they're like rolling and...

And she's like, ah! They found out what it was. It was like a cardboard stand-up. Yeah, it was like a cardboard stand-up of Ted Danson or something. Or like Howie Mandel. I think it was either Ted Danson or Howie Mandel. But that's also disproven. Was Howie Mandel in Three Men and a Baby? That was the joke. No. But he had a haircut that could have been. It was of the time. What about the Wizard of Oz one? There's footage of somebody hanging. No, no. It's the bird's neck.

There's birds on set, like tall crane-looking things. And it's so great. Oh, yeah. But that was another very famous one is there was like a big shot. They said a little person hung themselves. A little person. Yes, one of the Munchkin Guild hung himself. The Lollipop Guild. Oh, yeah, that's what it's called. I was in the Lollipop Guild in my first ever play. Yeah, in the second grade. So you've always been a union guy. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm always part of the guild. I was always paying dues. Right on. Dude, I played Uncle Ben in The Wizard of Oz in a community theater performance. Yeah. Front and back, baby. It was there when she left. Wizard of Oz, baby. Anders was in Wicked on Broadway. He wishes. Props to him. I was wicked my whole life. He wishes. That performance, like, my mom had to make...

the wardrobe, you know, because it's like a high school production. I'm like eight years old. And, uh,

She just dressed me. She went to a costume shop. My mom can't sew and isn't handy when it comes to that kind of stuff. Sure. Shots fired. So she went to a costume shop and just bought me a pirate's outfit. Okay. So I'm just dressed as a fucking pirate. Yeah, but I get that striped socks and the short pants. Yeah, which is fine. And then we go, and now I'm just dressed as a pirate. And my dad came late, and we had just gotten a new video camera.

You know, in there, there's like early nineties. And so he's like, I'm going to videotape. And he got there late. He was coming from work or something. And he sets up in the back with a, with a, with a big tripod and this giant ass camera. And he films the wrong kid. What? For the full hour and a half.

Wait, what? He didn't know what I was wearing. My mom just sort of explained it. Look, I've been on the train for a month. That shit's important. He filmed another child until you see me skip past the frame and he just finds me. Then all of a sudden you see him like,

like correct and go like oh shit we're following this kid we're following my son now okay well now with the magic of Kyle's CGI we can plug you into it and it can look like your dad never fucked anything up he had you Kyle Zemeckis that'd be great

But it's me, my current age. But also, I mean, you know, I know where your dad was. I know the stress. The stress that your dad must have been feeling just to set that fucking video camera up, get it running, plug it in, put the tape in. And then there's a kid. Oh, and dude, what a bitch I was too. I remember coming home, like wanting to see the performance. And he was like, no, we don't need to watch it now. You're trying to watch dailies? Yeah, he was like, let's just, what do you want to eat? We can get some Kentucky fried chicken. That's my favorite meal. And I'm like, no, I want to watch it.

And then we watched it. And then I see that he and I just cried for like an hour straight. Eating chicken, crying. What a little bit. Hey, what happened? Just crying into your bucket of crying. Was spicy KFC out yet at this point? Oh, my God. And in fact, I don't even know if it was KFC. I might have been on my Hardee's fried chicken tip at that point. Did Hardee's have fried chicken? Yeah. Yeah, it was good. Hardee's fried chicken was the shit.

And Hardee's is Burger King? I don't know what Hardee's is. Hardee's is Carl's Jr. And they had chicken? Yeah, they had fried chicken. In your favorite decade, Blake, the 90s. Hey, shout out to Brown's Chicken, a Chicagoland staple of the 90s that doesn't exist anymore. Big shout out. Oh, here's a short story that no one will understand. Okay, go off. The Brown's Chicken murders happened in the early 90s where a bunch of people got murdered.

at Brown's Chicken. Cut to like 15 years later, my family goes to Europe where my brother was living in Germany. We go to Paris to see the Eiffel Tower. We're in line to go up the Eiffel Tower and the person behind us goes, did you hear they found out who did the Brown's Chicken murders? We all turn around and go, I'm sorry, did you just talk about the Brown's Chicken murders? And they're like, yeah. Well, who did it?

some fucking guy and then some like mad like I think it was like an angry girlfriend was like he did it what

Make this fucking Netflix documentary murder. This is huge. This is your murder podcast. Yeah. A fried chicken murder? That sounds like something that I would like to watch. Yeah. You should do it from the perspective of your family so you can get to Paris and be in line and be like, I'm sorry, what? I'm sorry. Let me call Shonda. Let me call Shonda, who is also a Chicagoland native, and see if she's into it.

Yes. Get it going. Yes. Get it going. Uh, are there any flowers, any take backs, any, um, you know, giveaways flowers, shout out to Brown's chicken. Okay. Oh man. Hell yeah. Uh, I'd like to give us some flowers to my dad, you know, shooting that, uh, that camera. Uh,

He was doing his absolute best, and it was his birthday the other day, so happy birthday to him. Happy birthday. That's right. And this is going to come out like a month after his birthday, but love the guy. How old is he? 65 now. Legit a senior citizen.

Yeah. Nice. That's like, what, the cheaper menu at Denny's and movies and stuff? Yeah, he gets some discounts. He's pretty pumped on it. Fuck, yeah. That's so sick. Yeah.

Flowers to Folgers. Thanks for being there. And that's a good looking mug. Should we talk about how good that mug looks? Look at that. Classic. Flowers to the OG. Classic Folgers Cup Diner mug, baby. Thank you. And I'd like to give a special shout out to General Hospital. Thank you for all the years you've put in on television. You were around when I was sick home from school and my mom was entertained by you. So thank you so much for everything you're doing over there, guys. Keep it up. Very well said. Oh,

And real quick plug, please watch The Righteous Gemstones Sunday night, 10 p.m. Check is the base. Is that going to be, it's going to, oh yeah, okay. Yeah, it comes out this Sunday and then we have nine episodes, so it'll be out. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. I love it. Coming in hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot. Hey, you know what, Adam? You know what that is to me?

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