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Today we talk about fucking cornhole. Why does your dick feel so weird in me? Can we please fucking play some pickleball? Okay. You're dead. And then that's the ultimate prank, dude. Here we go. Start your engines. Okay.
Hello and welcome. Hey, and we're back. Different vibe. Let it rip. Turn it up. Feeling good, baby. Yo. So to me, this is how I know I'm old. When I'm at a grocery store, because to me that's a grocery store banger. Oh, sure. We're old enough, or at least I'm old enough now, that when I'm in the grocery store and a song like that comes on, I'm nodding my head, man. Yeah.
Yeah. For real. Yeah. They've got some real bangers that hit me at my age. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's not worth like analyzing that any further than just a head nod and a smile. Dude, you know what? A song I have that like when I hear it, it just puts a smile on my face. It is, I love your smile. Obviously. Obviously. I've had that song.
In my head for 20 years. That's like my go-to. I'm lonely. I'm going to whistle while I'm taking a leak in a weird gas station. If that comes on in the grocery store, I'm dropping the milk and I am dancing a little bit. I'm doing a shimmy. You're dropping it? Yeah. You're dropping it? That's a mess. It's a mess, but I can't help myself. You might slip. I've been deep on my 80s shit for a while now. Okay. I feel like that was the decade.
I feel like I would have really shined in the 80s. I love all the music from that era. I...
You know what I mean? I could wear a Letterman jacket, I feel. I feel like I could pull off a Letterman jacket. Talk to me about your 80s. Yeah. About my... I was a child. No, no, no. Sorry. About what... I know, but you're talking about letter jackets as opposed to Pet Shop Boys. Because the 80s was quite diverse. So I'm saying... Duran Duran. Sure. Yeah. Are you talking your more like hairband 80s and like...
Are Huey Lewis 80s? Emilio Estevez? Yeah, men at work. Or like The Cure, you know. No, I'm more of like Talking Heads, The Cure. I think I went to The Cure. I went to The Cure like almost first in my mind. But also, Talking Heads I love. Yeah, fuck you. Sure. But also, I'll fuck up some Eddie Money, dude. I'm not afraid. Okay. All right.
There's a lot of people out there that are afraid of Eddie Money. Dude, they are. Well, they're afraid to admit that they like Eddie Money. A lot of people think that that's not cool. His voice is super solid. He has the coolest name ever in rock music. Eddie Money. Doobie Brothers. The Doobie Brothers, that's pretty good. I mean, that's good, but that's... The Doobie Brothers is great, bro. To me, that's the greatest of all time is, who are you guys? We're the Doobie Brothers.
I do really like the new series of Adam playing songs off of his phone. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, his voice is good. His voice is money. But that's not his hit, right? Doesn't he have a bigger one than that? Take Me Home Tonight is pretty damn big. Yeah, that's the one. Take me home tonight. No.
Yeah, that was that song. Yeah, that was the same song. That's the one that you want to drink beer on a beach or you want to be on a boat, I feel. You want to be blazed. Yeah, 80s is good. It makes sense. Well, Yacht Rock, right? That's 80s, right? Or is it mostly in the 80s was Yacht Rock? Oh, maybe it's a deeper cut, but Shakin' is a fucking banger by Eddie Murray. What's Shakin'? What does that sound like? Hold on. Let me pull it up a little bit.
What do you got there? A chocolate payday? Dude, I'm eating a fucking one of your guys. I love it. Here, hold on. There's no bullshit. It's great. I don't like to eat bullshit. There's no way. Never mind. Well, that's the first time I've ever heard that song. Yeah. Hey, dude. Hey, Blake. That song rips, dude. Thank you, man. Dude, you got the lizard. Quintessential Eddie Money song shiver or whatever you called it. I don't know.
I played his, by far, his biggest hit. And Blake's like, nah. And then Blake doesn't even recognize it. There has to be a bigger hit. Here, I'm going to play you this fucking Garbage Pail music. Right. Dude, no, that was for sure an 80s stripper anthem, dude. That song sounded like a kitchen during an earthquake. That sounded like you made something on Garbage Pail.
garage band. Did you like it? Because it was actually my band. Yeah. This is Netty Money. This is Blakey Money. That's my band, Freddie Monkey. Okay, okay. I know another one that's really good. What about Here We Go and Hear Me Out Arguably Better Than Take Me Home Tonight. Two Tickets to Paradise. That's the one he plays on the commercials, right? Two Tickets to Paradise.
And you know what? I would argue, don't like it as much. What? Yeah. Take me home tonight is the better of the... I'm pissed now! Because what? Two tickets? That's only two? I want more than my two tickets. I need four tickets to paradise. Well, I think he's going with his girl or whatever. You know, but yeah. I mean, trips are more fun if you go with like a group of friends, you know? George wants a threesome. I want one of you guys in a threesome. I'd preach. I'd preach.
Or do we establish we want strangers? Yeah, we just – we talked about that a few podcasts ago about – Sorry, yes. Having sex with each other. If it's you and your girl and another guy is going to be involved, it can't be a homie. It has to be your high school rival. It has to be. It has to be. It has to be. The head of your rival dojo. Right. You've got to bury the hatchet somehow. Yeah.
a better way than to go on a romantic vacation. To bury the hatchet in your girl. Yeah, bury him something. Okay. That's how you fuck? Take me home tonight. But maybe it'd be cool to have your girl like, okay, so you find your nemesis from high school and you go, yo, you get a threesome. He sees your girl. He's like, yeah, babe, let's do it. And then you've already told your girl and she's down with this because she knows you hate this guy to be like, you can't fuck harder than that. Fuck.
And even if his dick's way bigger than yours, she just is like, why does your dick feel so weird in me? And you go, babe, this is a great prank. Yeah. Yeah. You'd shame them. Well, yeah, exactly. I love this prank while you're watching him. Fuck your girl. You're shaming him while you're watching. Yeah. No, she's doing it. And you're looking at her like, Hey honey, come on, call me. I'm having a good time. Yeah. And the best part is that like behind your back later, she runs off with him.
This is a great prank. Because the dick actually was good. This is a fun prank. And then they get married. Okay. Oh my gosh. And you're on the street one day and they pull up in a Ferrari. Okay, now you're talking. And they hand you a million dollar bill.
And you're like, pwned you. And you go, oh my god, thank you. And he goes, that's not real, bitch. And they peel out as she gives him head. Right? Okay. That's the prank. That's a fun prank. That is a fucking...
That's a royal poning, bro. And then you just walk into traffic? That's a funny prank, dude. But nothing hits you. Nothing hits you but a truck? But it doesn't kill you? No, that truck hits you, you're dead, and then that's the ultimate prank, dude. Right, right. And then they come to your funeral, and you're like...
I guess, I hope they're here because you're dead, you don't know. Oh, man. You know there's a funeral, you know there's a funeral, but nobody comes to it. I'm pissed now! Because you lost all your teeth a long time ago and they don't know who you are? You're just a John Doe?
That's the prank. That's the good prank, dude. That's the prank. Because you didn't have any teeth to identify the body because you lost them all because you were just meth addict. Yeah. So that's the threesome you want. Absolutely. Absolutely. All right. That's great. Good deal, bud. Guys, how come we don't go on a couple vacations together? Let's all go to Greece or something. Well, that'd be great. I feel like we can barely get a schedule together to do a podcast. Damn!
Going on a... Hey, my girl's down for a date night, though, guys. Okay. I was telling Ders that the other day. I'd love to do a little date night. Oh, that's cute AF. Kyle, you want to fly down here, buddy? Yeah, yeah, man. You know I'll hit the jet suite and hit Burbank. Come on. Jet suite X. I love a little jet suite X, baby. Let's just do dinner at Burbank Airport. Yeah.
Let's do it. Oh, shit. What was the name of that restaurant that we used to go to? At the Van Nuys Airport. Yeah. The Aviator's Grill or whatever. Oh, yeah. It was like the 49th restaurant or something. Was it 49th Squadron or something? Yeah. And then we'd go there for workaholics lunches. And every once in a while, we would dart over there. And it was cool. It was right on... A restaurant at the Van Nuys Airport. At the Van Nuys Airport. And...
And you'd go in there and there was like a lot of drunk pilots. I'm still going to send it. And you're like, are these guys about to fly? Or they just come here to drink? Well, did you see Flight? Did you see Flight with Denzel? He fucking did some. That dude did some great shit while drunk and flying a plane. Great movie. He did. Flying on expert. I'm drunk right now.
I'm like, okay. Does that show, like, that it's actually, like, so easy to fly a plane? Like, any drunk can do it? I think they say it is extremely easy. It's the hard part is landing. Other than that... That's the joke.
That's not like the thing. The joke is I can fly and I just can't land. It's called truth in comedy, Durs. It came from somewhere, all right? You put it on autopilot and then when you have to land, you grab the controls. Uh-huh. I'll grab your controls. Oh my God. Hey, come autopilot my dick and balls, baby. That's not the stick. That would be actually fucking sick to learn how to fly a plane. Absolutely.
Absolutely. I feel like that's your thing. Yeah. I think I could probably be very good at that. Well, like we just said, it seems like it's easy. Goodbye. It's the landing that's hard. Well, like a little Cessna, like I've been in a tiny little four-seater plane before and that thing ripped around by the wind. It was like, this is like turbulence I never felt before. I'd do that with you, Kyle. We should learn how to fly planes together. I for sure would. Can I make a request and you guys do a helicopter instead?
Why? I don't know. It seems way cooler. No. Yeah, it's way... I think it's way more dangerous, dude. And they're way more expensive. Yeah. I don't have the desire to fly a helicopter as much as I would have the desire to fly a plane. Huh. Interesting. I'm opposite of you. A plane you can travel with a little bit. A lot of it. Exactly. A lot of it. A lot. You could travel a ton. But a helicopter... A helicopter you could land on your roof and...
And then just kind of... Hell a roof. Kind of just go home for the day. Well, I mean, we still make the same amount of money we currently make. It's not like we're not talking like in the stratosphere where we have houses that you can land helicopters on. Okay, fine. Yeah, I'm talking about becoming a hobbyist pilot. Right now, we could afford like a little Cessna and learn how to fly, you know? But Adam, you could land a helicopter on your beach and essentially blow all the sands away. It's science.
Don't you want that? Yeah, that'd be cool. My neighbors would really love me for that. Yeah, I've been in a lot of helicopters, and I just don't feel safe in those fucking things, man. I don't like them. No? You've been in a lot of helicopters? Yeah, like in Hawaii. Like over a dozen? Yeah.
Yeah. I've been in a helicopter over a dozen times. Wow. That's a lot. When we're scouting for helicopter shots and stuff like that. Must be nice. Yeah. My God. They don't just do drones now? That's fucking cool. I think I've been in two. No, we took real helicopters up. God damn, bro. Yeah, for some stuff. Yo, the Rose Bowl the other day, they had the B-2 bomber fly over. Weeks and weeks ago. Weeks and weeks ago.
That thing is fucking unreal. The stealth bomber? The stealth bomber is just like a black V wing with no vertical wings on it or whatever that's called. It's like a spaceship. It's from another planet.
I mean, do you remember how hard that shit hit when it came out? Like, wasn't that the 90s? Like, I had a fucking... There were a couple. I had a stealth bomber toy. I was fucking obsessed with that thing. But which one did you have? Because there was the black bird, which was the long one that had like the two giant turbines or whatever on the side. And then there's this one, the B2, which is just...
a big flat wing. Yeah. And then there was the new stealth bomber that was like a little dart arrowhead shape. Okay. I recall two long, like, wings kind of coming off the plane as well. Up, right? Up? Didn't they come up? Yeah. Yes. The B-52? It looked like the Batmobile flying. Yes, exactly. Like the Batmobile lost a wheel and the Joker...
got away. You can say that. We, uh, my dad and I would always go fishing at this lake in Omaha when I was growing up. Sounds real. And every once in a while you would hear like, but like it's light and you're like, what the fuck is going on? How's your dad ripping bongs? Don't look at me. Stay out of my Folgers can. What does that Folgers can do in here? Uh,
No, and it would be the stealth bomber just, like, covering above the lake. Like, just sort of creep and... They can hover? Wait, these things can hover? They go slow. No, but they can go very slow. Like, they went very slow over the ruins. No way. Yeah, they can just... Yeah, so that you can... Smile. Or they can break the sound barrier. Yeah. Wow. They was, like, going, like, mad slow right over us. And there's a ton of cool...
But planes and shit and stuff. Bombers in Omaha because that's where the president goes when there's a giant emergency. Oh, yeah. Because it's the biggest city most centrally located in the U.S. Oh, that's cool. Living in America. Yamaha's. Yeah, that's where he went. That's where he went during 9-11.
Oh, really? Yeah. Shit. Yeah, man. Yeah, man. I didn't go anywhere. I stood my ground on 9-11, but go ahead. Damn. Yeah. You didn't, dude. I didn't run from anything, no. Yeah, you're right. Me too. I still did the paper route. Yeah. I stayed in social studies class. I went right to Norwegian class and told everybody in Norwegian that plane had a building. Yeah, US history was crazy that day. I remember going to school and then they were like, you know, we fucking canceled school today. And then I went and smoked weed in my buddy's garage.
For America. Has the whole world gone crazy? You lit up your own two towers of Wade? Thank you. Thank you. That was necessary. Yeah. That was a wild time, man, and I'll never forget it. Dudes. Hey, dudes. Can I talk about something? Absolutely. Is it 9-11? Oh, I'm related? No, no, it's not. I'm too in a... I'm taking a... We were kind of having a moment of silence, but go ahead.
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Okay, well, I just wanted to say that when I come down to the Burbank airport and we all hang out and we're going to have dinner in Van Nuys, can we please fucking play some pickleball? Okay? Oh, yeah, the bitch. Okay, he's back, everybody. My boy's into the pickleball.
the last time I talked about it, I said I was thinking about getting into it. And now I thought about it. It's official. And now I thought about it. I'm in it. Now I'm playing it. Now I'm playing pickleball and I'm playing it as much as I can. And I fucking love the game. Okay. And I want to play with you guys. Are you dropping LBs playing a pickleball? Um,
Yeah, yeah. Is it an exercise thing or it's just a fun thing? It's both. It's both. I like to have both, you know, in one. And it's great. As you should. It's great cardio, great back and forth, good hand-eye coordination, and just a lot of fun with friends. And that's why I think we should do it together. Okay? Are you down? I love that. Yeah, you find a court, I'll be there. How competitive does it get, Kyle? Like, are you...
challenge? Are you playing against some young go-hards, some vets? Are you learning with people? What can we expect here? I've been learning with people for the past four months and just playing with friends, but the games get pretty heated. What does that mean, you've been learning with people? Well, we've been playing, learning the rules. There's certain ways you have to serve. I guess I'm asking, who are you playing with? No, I was playing with the producers on Shadows. We would sneak away and that's how we got...
it out of our system is we would go and just play fucking pickleball and watch the cue take. So let me get this straight. Don't walk it back. You were, you were so, no, don't walk it back. I said it was scheduled. You were so busy.
Schedule a podcast. Well, this was Monday through Friday. Instead, you were playing pickleball. And now you want to come back and play us in pickleball? Yeah. Fuck it. Okay. Correct. After you decided not to do the podcast for a few weeks, obviously that time was spent getting better at pickleball. So then you could come back.
and lord your pickleball supremacy over us. We obviously aren't going to be as good, even though the three of us are all physically and athletically more gifted than you. Yes, I got to jump on it, baby. Yeah, so you're saying... You put a pause on the podcast so you could get a leg up on us and we should pickleball. Honestly, if you had just told me, guys, I'm going to play pickleball instead of the podcast...
I would have said, salute, respect, go do your thing. Hold up. But the fact that I'm finding out about it now? Yeah. I'm so sorry. Yeah, that's rough. That's rough. God damn, you guys really put me in a corner on that one. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You put yourself in a corner. I can't wait to play you now. I'm going to be hitting you with some drop shots. Hey, I remember when we were talking about 9-11, trying to have a moment. Uh-huh. Mm-hmm.
On this podcast that we've had to recreate with you, Gar. Trying to have a moment about 9-11. You said, hey, can I say something real quick? And then you outed yourself. Yeah. Yeah. I wanted to talk about pickleball. Playing pickleball. And that's why you left the podcast, just to get better at pickleball.
You got on note. He wrote a note. So at any point in time, we're allowed to drop off the pod to get better at a skill. At a skill. At a reindeer game. It can't be anything real. It's got to be a reindeer game. I want to get good at drone racing.
I love that. That's the thing about pickleball. It's a budding fucking sport. There's a pro circuit. You know what else is a budding sport? What? Ultimate Frisbee. And it just never will be. And what's the other one where you slam the ball off the little net? Oh, yeah. Oh, the beach game? Yeah, that game looks cool as fuck, by the way.
Never play. There's like college teams. It's Smashball. It's Smashball. Is it Smashball? It is Smashball, yeah. Yes. Smashball. I live on the beach. It's Smashball. I see it every day. That's the thing, bro. They have pickleball tournaments down in Newport. And I'm like, okay, I'm going to start signing up for fucking tournaments soon.
now and traveling and trying to win because I'm trying to get fucking pro. Well, it's nice knowing how much time do you need to prepare for the tournament? Because I can't even believe you're here. Wait, do you got to take six months off the podcast so you could go train for this tournament or gonna? I mean, maybe, but hopefully not.
Perfect. Now I want to see how good you are. Yeah, he's really hyped this up now. Wait, Smashball's the wooden panels with the dead ball. I'm talking about where they hit the thing down onto the little trampoline. On the trampoline, yes. I believe that is called Smashball. I'm almost positive. It's not called Smashball. This is important. Maybe it's called Ultimate Smashball or something like that. Like, that was the brand. It's not Smashball. Hey, let's...
Let's inform the people. I feel like that game gets gnarly on the beach because you're diving all over the place. Smoshball. Maybe it's Smoshball. It's by the famous YouTube crew. Here it is. What do we call it? Spikeball. Spikeball. Yeah, you're right. Smashball is a thing. You couldn't have been more wrong. I couldn't have been more wrong. I'm such a bitch. I'm an idiot. I even said I live on the beach. I see it every day. I was flexing. I was flexing. No way.
Samsonite
But yeah. So if you need to get into spike ball, let me know. It's called spike ball. And I see it all the time. I want to play. I almost bought one during the pandemic, but I was like, well, who am I going to play with? Yeah. Just you and Clow Dog. Just going ham. And Chloe, like, she's not going to play spike ball with me. Yeah. But you know what? She will play with you. Shut up. Pickleball, bro. Okay. Okay. I was like house. Okay. Pickleball, man.
This game rocks. No, this game fucking rocks, bro. Pickleball, this game rocks. You know how much fun we had playing ping pong back in the day? Yeah. Well, ping pong, oh, you mean a real sport? Thank you, table tennis. This is big ping pong, bro. This is like you're standing on the fucking table. Yeah, but isn't it an Olympic sport? Is this different than paddle ball and how...
What's paddleball? What's paddleball? Paddleball is what I think is very similar to pickleball, but I think you're in like a chicken wire fenced cage and you can hit it off the cage. What? What? No, pickleball is ping pong. That sounds like a prison game. So there's no cage. Yeah, it's basically miniature tennis. Yeah, big ping pong, small tennis. Paddleball is what they would play in the winter at the country clubs. What about handball, dude? That's where I'm at. Are you talking about like squash? Oh, God. 9-11. Oh, God. Oh, God.
Are you talking about squash? Paddle ball is like a wintertime country club sport where you just are in a little court and there's a cage around it and you can hit the ball off the cage, but there's a tennis net. The paddles have little holes in them all the way around. No, that's not the same game. Are you using pickles? You can't.
This is the paddle. Oh, okay. Oh, he's got his own paddle. So here, I got a question about pickleball. You got a pickleball question. It's tinier tennis. What is the purpose of it? It's for people that don't want to run around on a whole tennis court. Yes. It was found in retirement communities. It's for old people. Yes. Tall, fat people who are like, reach, reach.
Yeah. Exactly. Well, I feel like I would like that because I can't play tennis. My knees will explode if I play tennis. Tennis is hard as hell. I can't do it. Yeah. I don't have the wind for it, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, my knees will just explode if I do that. But maybe I can play pickleball. Yeah.
This game is righteous. There's some guys playing right now that are just like fucking... Now you're speaking your language. Righteous Gemstones, Sundays on HBO and HBO Max. I did see it. It was on ESPN too the other day, Pick a Ball was. They had a tournament going on at ESPN. Did you see if the people playing were young or was that a tournament of old people as well? They were young. 20s. Yeah, there's young guys. The best in the world right now is 21. The best in the world, Ben Johns, he's 21.
Oh, Jesus Christ. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But my favorite dude is a dude named fucking Mattias Johansson. Mattias or Matthias? They call him Mattias. I thought it was Matthias too, but I heard him say Mattias the other day. That's tight. Yeah. And he's like 60 and he crushes. Okay, so you left the podcast. You watched a ton of Pickleball. And this is what you did with your time? Yeah. Did you see that look he just gave you?
He just looked at you like. Yep. Yep. Well, is it on ESPN or what is this on? That's where I saw it. Yeah, it was. Where are you watching all this pickleball? I've never seen. I've never seen. I watch it on YouTube. I go. I go look for like this. The specific PBA circuit opens. They have like they're they're recording them now. And it's cool because there's like these bad boys of pickleball and they don't have bleep buttons. They're just like real fucking buttons.
bitch yeah and there's like a bunch of senior citizens watching these guys go fucking hard what the fuck are you looking at you old bastard dude it's so rough it's the best i like these niche sports that are getting exposure i was deep into disc golf on youtube for a while yeah these guys jomez make a pretty good like series where they they edit it all together it's pretty funny disc golf rocks dude they play in some like treacherous like uh downpours too like
Nobody on the – like the golf course doesn't close. Disc golf goes hard through all elements. Yeah, I play a lot of disc golf. When I'm in Charleston, I take my discs. You know what I did? I took my golf clubs because there's a lot of great golfing in Charleston. And then I never went golfing once, and I went disc golfing like 15 times. Yeah.
Yeah. Well, disc golfing is more fun than golfing, right? Not necessarily. I don't know. I feel like a lot of people think golfing is way more fun. I just, I don't really do it. None of my friends really go golfing that much. Yeah. I think I would like it. Golf has like the right setup where it's like, Hey, we're going to go golfing and drink and be out on like a beautiful thing. A disc golf course is like,
hey, there's this weird park. If we bring a six-pack, they've set up all these holes. Cages. That's how we got into sort of disc golf because I grew up with a crew of disc golfers, and basically it was smoke a joint, bring the radio. You listen to a Primus album, and you just freaking...
Throw the B around a little bit. And that's kind of the vibe, and everybody you run into is doing the exact same thing. Except for that one guy who's pulling a giant case of 72 Frisbees and is sweating profusely, and is just like, can I play through? Whoosh!
Thank you guys. And he's so mad that you guys are taking like kind of a long time. Yeah. Or the guy that is doing it as exercise and he just is dead sprinting through the course. With a weight vest on. Yeah. And you're like, hey, buddy, maybe just go running. Yeah.
Just go run. This is the way. Yeah, what's up with this? Over there, there's places to run. This is disc golf. We're drunk here. We're drunk here. We're stoned here. Plant medicine. You know what else gets a ton of play on ESPN now is fucking cornhole. I feel like cornhole is on all the goddamn time. I don't know if it was because of the pandemic or what, but you can't escape it. And by the way, these people are good at it. Yeah, they're too good. But they're not...
I would argue that they're not much better than the best person we know. Sure. To me, watching cornhole or playing cornhole would get really old really quick. Yes. I mean, I love playing cornhole. It's so fun. But it doesn't look like... Do they allow them to drink beer while they play? Because you have to have a cold brew while you're playing that game. That's a great question. Thank you, Anders. I don't know. Do they? No.
Slide into Blake's DMs and let him know. By the way, every time you sit back, the headroom on your square, like the last one we did was just all wall. I like that frame. I'm in prison, which is tight. I'm in prison. You look like a talking head. What if I revealed I was in a mental institution the whole time? Yeah.
I can believe that. I wish you got fake tits and you didn't want to show anybody yet. Like they weren't even for some reason. I'm in recovery.
Look at my guy. God damn. Pizza, pizza. Damn, damn. God damn. Damn, son. So should we talk about 9-11 or... You want to come back to that? Coming back. 9-11 or 7-11? Let's each go. 9-11 or 7-11? Or 3-11? I'll go first. Or 3-11? 3-11. Or 9-11, 7-11, or 3-11? Go.
I'm going to come original. Yeah, 311. Yes, points! And say 9-11. Oh. Know what I mean? Did you guys ever have a school shooting at your school? Did you guys ever fuck with that? Technically, but it wasn't like somebody's gun went off in their backpack and a kid got shot. Jesus. Oh, really? But it wasn't like a fucking...
I'm reliving the Matrix and fucking killing people that were mean to me. It was just like, whoops. Hey, dude, your gun went off and shot a kid. Because I just watched a movie the other night called The Fallout that Julie Bowen is in. And it's all about like...
What happened after a school shooting. And I didn't know what I was getting myself. I watched it. I got like an advanced screening because of Ellen. And you're supposed to like watch what your guests are up to and blah, blah, blah. And so I was like, okay, I'll ride the bike and watch this movie. And I'm riding the bike and it starts off and it's just –
girl who's a great actress, Jenna Ortega. She's a young girl and she's playing a high school student and she crushed, but she was being like super funny in the beginning. I think like, oh, it's going to be like a teen comedy. And it's Julie Bowen. She's known for it. And I'm like, I'm working up a lather. And then, uh,
And then all of a sudden she's in a bathroom and she's like making fun of this other girl for like contouring her like neckline and stuff. And I'm like, look at the youth talking about contouring and making TikTok dances and shit. Like this is like a new age comedy for like the people that are teenagers now. And I'm thinking this is going to be funny. I'm going to get an insight into the team. And then all of a sudden it's like...
From the hallway. And it's a school shooting movie. It's a school shooting movie. And then it's all about like the fallout of like how they're dealing with that afterwards. And then it becomes like super heavy. And I was not expecting it. And I'm working out while doing – while watching this movie. And halfway through the workout, I'm thinking like this is inappropriate how much I'm sweating while watching this.
You just start standing up beside your bike. I should be honoring this movie by not doing something else. Pedal backwards. But then it got me thinking, how many school shooting, how many there has been to where I had one at my school? Living in America!
There was one at my local mall where multiple people died. You mean like after? Yes. It's like Columbine. Now it's like such a normal thing that like it's not even about like the actual school shooting. It's about what happens afterwards. We're already at like beyond making movies about the actual shootings. Now we're like, oh, it's about what happened afterwards. Yeah.
Did you guys never had one at your high school? That's it's almost weird. If you didn't have one at your high school, I like that take. Uh, no, I don't believe, uh, we, we did, uh, but it definitely sucks. We haven't, we haven't, you guys have no bullies. I,
been to your high school and it seems like the type of place that a kid would snap? No, too many hiding places there. There was one. There was a shooting at the mall the other day. Okay, cred, cred. Alright. It was linked with a robbery, but I
Not a school. Yeah, no, different. Not the same. Different, yeah. Yeah, just a public shooting, I guess. Fuck, Adam, like, that's dope, dude. Dude. Way to lord that over us. Yeah, my high school rules, dude. I feel like a schmuck. My high school rules. Yeah, I guess we're making movies about the aftermath. By the way, like, I feel like that would only, if I was, like, a school shooter, like, candidate guy. Yeah. Yeah.
I could see you being a school shooter. I thought it was just me killing some people, but it's just going to wreck everyone else that was there, too. Sick. Now I'm really going to do it. They're going to watch the fallout and be like, oh, shit, yeah, people will be...
kind of fucked up afterwards okay well what's crazy is it's like evolving now like i don't can't even i can't remember i can't remember any of them anymore because they just happen and like our whole thing was to not give them attention because that would cause more but like now it's getting to the point where since everybody has cell phones you can watch like kids it happening in real time like they go insta live while it's happening it's just fucking it's a nightmare it's
It is. Now, Kyle, were you doing that when you had your time off? Kyle, did you make time to watch school? Like, no, sorry. Also, it shows how like insane of a time that we're living in that I feel like if I was out of place and a shooting was going down, the last thing I would think of doing it would be to go Instagram live the event.
We're older though. The kids, it's second nature. As soon as they feel like something's about to go down, no matter what it is, phones come out and start recording if you're like under 30. Like if you hear people shouting, you just start rolling. And we're talking about kids who are just being held inside of a room just waiting for the situation to either be over or change. It's terrifying. I feel like I would be like sharpening pencils, like getting ready to go attack mode.
Right, because we grew up in the 80s with Schwarzenegger movies where people just fucking did it and they're growing up in a time where it's like, no, don't. Don't do that, you'll die. We thought Home Alone was a documentary. Right, exactly. Exactly.
This is my house. I have to defend it. Which is why we made the episode of Workaholics where we're on mushrooms and we set up booby traps. We thought it was a real thing you could do is set booby traps to stop people from harming your friends and family. I mean, the school shooting that happened several weeks ago where they had kids filming it in the room and the guy rolled up to the door and was like, hey, it's the police.
And then they were like, he was like, what's your badge number? And he's like, I got my badge right here, yo, or something like that. And every kid was like, I've got my badge, yo. Like, that's fucking somebody goes red flag, red flag. Don't open it. I'm like, holy shit. That's crazy, Darren. Open the door, dude. The guy's like, he just said, open the door, dude.
I can't remember what the line was, but... That is so gnarly. That is terrifying. It's scary. It's terrifying. It's like, I couldn't even imagine that scenario as a kid, and it would stick with you the rest of your life, and it's just fucked up. I'm pissed now! Gun control? Should we switch topics? Gun control to Magic Tom. You guys want to talk about pickleball? Huh? You guys want to talk about pickleball again? Pickleball control. Pickleball, baby!
Hey, man, sometimes we got to breach and broach those topics, guys. No, I hear you. Hopefully not all the time. Hey, man, it's important.
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What would you guys do if someone pulled a gun out on the pickleball court? That's the real question. That's the next bastion. I mean, the bad boy, I don't know. What's his name? John Michael? What's your boy? Mattias? No, Ben Johns. But the tatted dude is... He could Gilbert Arenas it and bring a gun to the pickleball court.
Yeah, no. Nobody got that? No. The whole world got crazy. Anywho. We tried to move on and Blake's like, but what if? Absolutely.
Absolutely. What is that? What is the whole world gone crazy? What is that? That's from the Big Lebowski. That's right. That's right. That's Walter. It's John Goodman from Righteous Gemstones. But that's a good question. Has the world gone crazy? I think the world's gone crazy. I think a little bit. Oh, look at that. Nice. I got the fucking dude sweater right here, bro. Hamilton, baby. There it is. Yeah. Ready. Love that guy. Absolutely. That movie is so fucking good. Yeah. Big Lebowski. Goddamn. It's the best.
Is it the best Coen Brothers movie? I don't know. It's got a special place in my heart, but I don't know if it's their best film ever made because they make great movies, dude. They do make really good movies. I think they're my favorite. I mean, there's some clunkers, but they make great movies. Anytime we're doing something pretty absurd on The Righteous Gemstones, I ask John Goodman if this is how the Coen Brothers do it.
Right. I'm like, yeah, he likes he likes that bit. Yeah. Yeah. Does he give any insight to that or does he just ignore what you said? Yeah. You know, he's never talked to me before, but can you just say it'll help me? No, he likes he likes that bit. It's fun for him as well.
He's a really fun guy. Yeah, they rock, man. Is it their best movie? I mean, look, to me, it's their most... I don't know, because Fargo's great. Fargo's amazing. Fargo was a game changer as far as tone in movies, right? But The Big Lebowski is such a singular... What else is like it?
True, but I mean... You know what I mean? Yes, sir. I like it. Even Burn After Reading. Barton Fink is fucking dope. No Country for Old Men was off the fucking chizzy. Yeah. Miller's Crossing. No Country is one of my faves. Yo, even the fucking Buster Scruggs movie that they made that was like little stories. Yeah. I never saw that one. It's awesome. I just watched that one again. It looks beautiful.
It looks beautiful. Oh, Brother. Where Art Thou? That was one I didn't get into. People were kind of flipping over that, and I don't know. Maybe it's just the time period it set in. I mean, you like country music now, right? That's your thing? Yeah, I do. I love music. So go back. Check it out.
All right. That's what Oh Brother How Art Thou is country music? Yeah, it's a bunch of folk country music. It's early folk, yeah. They're singing into tin cans and stuff. I'm open sound.
I am a man of constant sorrow. They're definitely like slipped into that Americana as their heroine. Never stop. I had the soundtrack to Oh Brother, Where Art Thou? Everybody did. Yeah. What's up with that? It was like a big Christmas gift. I feel like parents were like, this is a thing that we're connecting on. And you're like, I like two of these songs. I thought that movie sucked. I think I just wasn't. I just hated it. I was like, everything about this I don't like.
Yeah, I didn't really, but for some reason I bought the soundtrack. I don't know why. You know what show I'm really liking is, is it 1883? Is that right? Or 84? I don't know. The Paramount Plus show that's the prequel to Yellowstone. It's fucking awesome. Do you watch Yellowstone? Yeah, what's Yellowstone? I do watch Yellowstone, but... Does that help or does it matter? No, it doesn't matter at all.
It's like a prequel and it's just like it's rival families, right? Is that what Yellowstone is? No, Yellowstone is is basically he's Kevin Costner is like a land baron who like owns all this land in Montana and he's trying to keep it. He's trying to keep Montana Montana and
and not build giant condos and shit, but he owns the most land in the state, and so he has all this power, and everyone's coming to try to get his land, basically. But then 1883 is the prequel to...
to that. And it shows like this, the family and how they got to Montana and like their, their travel across the country. Who was the star of it? Isn't somebody like, wasn't like Tom Hanks in an episode or something? Tim McGraw and Faith Hill are the, are the, the leads. Okay. Now I'm in a husband and wife team, but, uh,
Yeah, Tom Hanks is in an episode. Billy Bob Thornton is in a couple episodes. Sam Elliott. Sam Elliott is in it. Yeah, it's cool. It's really good. You know what else Sam Elliott's in?
MacGruber, the best show of the year. Blake Lebowski, MacGruber. The best show of the year. There's so many shows, guys. I got to watch the MacGruber. I really liked, I watched the first one. I need to stick with it, but MacGruber's damn, damn good. Oh, yeah. Do you have to buy Peacock? Blake and I were talking about this the other day. Do you have to buy it or what? You do, and I did just for MacGruber.
Gruber. Subscribe to it. Subscribe to Peacock. It's got all sorts of good stuff. And watch it and then you can cancel or continue. I never cancel. Hey, did you ever watch Girls 5 ever, Blazer? Not yet, but I am about to jump into that because I love to laugh and it looks very funny. It's very silly. It was funny. Yeah, I watched a handful of episodes. It is good. I'm excited to dive into some comedy. Very 30 Rocky. So if that's your thing, it's super funny and the people on it fucking nail it.
it when you say 30 rocky do you mean like tons of jokes coming at your face yeah like a mile a minute yeah very very joke heavy and very very silly okay i love that yeah on on their silly shit yeah what was that one uh really silly i don't know dude god damn
Where it was kind of zany, I believe that it was Maya Rudolph. No, it was... No, yes. Quincy Jones' daughter. Yeah, what's her name? Rashida Jones. Rashida Jones. What was that show called? Do you remember? It was like a goofy police show. Yeah, it was actually really kind of funny. It was like airplane-y. Yeah, it didn't get a lot of... It was never described to me that way, and I wish I would have known because I would have been more... Was it on TruTV? I don't know.
I don't know. We're doing such a bad job of even sending people over to this show. Angie Tribeca. Okay. There it is. If you know the name of one show, by the way, now, you're winning. Dude, totally. Because if somebody asks me what I'm watching, I'm watching a ton. I'm watching everything.
and then you ask me what i'm watching and i have no idea no i have no idea well there's just so much shit out there now what is that why is that happening because just because saturation you're just like because our brains aren't built this way dude yeah it's the worst it's the worst there's too much shit it's not centralized it's just like all over the place yeah fucking sucks
When they don't make you wait for it and you just binge everything in one sitting, it's like you just ate a candy bar. You forgot about it like 10 minutes later. Disposable. Right. Or, Adam. Or, Adam. Or it's a chocolate payday and you remember it forever. If they drop it all, you only have time to watch, let's say, three episodes in a night. And you might love it.
But then the next night, you kind of like forgot that you watched it or a football game is on. You watch a football game, then like you get busy over the weekend. Then the next week, you go, what was I watching? And you go, oh yeah, I started this other thing a month ago. But then you forget that the thing you just started watching, it's a disgusting habit.
Dude, this is like how people are bragging about minutes watched now. And it's like, what the fuck does that mean? What the fuck does that mean? Minutes watched? Are they bragging about minutes watched? Yes. Well, that's how Netflix is releasing their statistics. They're saying like,
120 million minutes watched of this. For the Red Notice movie, the Ryan Reynolds and the Rock one, that was their big selling point was how many minutes were watched, not even how many people. What that translates to is people are starting the movie watching. Everyone started the movie, but not everyone finished the movie.
Yeah. Yeah, it's so bizarre. Exactly. Like when we get our numbers from Netflix, the only one I give a shit about is retention rate. How many people stuck with it? Thank you. That's the one that is the real number. The only numbers I care about have a dollar sign and a few commas next to them. You feel me on that? Yeah, okay. The number. Those are the numbers that I care about. 69. 420.
It's just the fucking algorithm. The robots are greenlighting everything. They got to make something up because nobody's finishing these movies or shows. Don't get me wrong. I'm a Netflix guy. I like Netflix. I just think it's weird that they're like... Don't backtrack now, you fucking company man. Yeah, come on, man. Fucking son of a bitch.
It's not the right one. No, I mean, I work for Netflix. I work for Netflix. They're great. People shit on Red Notice. I actually liked it. It felt like a big blockbuster action comedy. I got to watch it. I think you're hating. I think it wasn't as bad as people. No, I watched it.
Yeah. And I think you're hating. Yeah. Yeah. I think that there are problems with that movie that are so glaring that
And to me, it didn't feel like there was a soul involved. It didn't feel like there was actually a soul. Like, what are you taking away from that movie? You're saying The Rock can't make you feel things? No, actually, honest question here, because I don't want to be a hater, but Adam, what are you taking away from that movie? Okay. I mean, nothing. I liked that Netflix is doing it. It felt like a big action movie from Blake.
The 90s? No, the 2000s. It felt like the mummy. Well, they actually do have Ryan Reynolds dressed as fucking Indiana Jones. Okay, yes. It's a nod. Very nostalgic, but it's so dumb. What else did you take away? It was cool, and I thought there was cool set pieces. It felt huge in a good way that I was like, oh, this is cool. Those guys...
Those guys, they weren't acting, which was a little bothersome, but it made me feel like how Arnold never really acted. Yeah, but you believed Arnold. He was just always Arnold Schwarzenegger. Exactly. But you believed Arnold. Look, I like watching Ryan Reynolds more than The Rock, but those are two people that I never really...
believe are in danger because Ryan's always winking at the camera so he never like really lets me in there and then The Rock I just don't believe but Arnold when he's being held down in Total Recall because you're like he would just kick everyone's ass yeah The Rock would just beat everybody's ass no it's the eyes it's in the eyes you know what I mean and like for example Total Recall when Arnold is freaking out and they're holding him down in that thing and trying to put the thing in his neck yes
I'm like, this dude, I feel like Arnold was willing to go there and believe it himself, like a total psychopath, which is what a good actor is. It's a person who's like, I'm going to really be in it. So to connect with those two in a movie, I'm sure it was not super easy.
Well, they do have a torture scene in Red Notice. They do have that. And the bad guy is good, but then they make a joke out of it and it's kind of like this is not what... Now I'm not feeling anymore at all. Like you almost had me, but then you undercut it to be kind of fucking...
Like Koi and Meta and all that shit. And it's like, dude, eat a dick. I hate that shit. Yeah. You got to watch the new Matrix, by the way. I want to so bad. Yeah, but I was like, I'm glad that they're doing these big, fun action comedies because
And it's not just another Marvel movie. Like I was happy that Netflix is swinging that bat as opposed to- With an original story. With an original story. Yeah. Like Avatar. Go ahead. And I was just like, I'm just sick of seeing like the same Marvel movie and have me give a shit about it or Star Wars. Yeah. No, I completely agree because I don't even turn on the Marvel or Star Wars movies anymore because they're too
much fandom where it's like this is not about the movie being made this is a movie about the fact that this movie was made yes points okay so dumb fucking it just drives me bananas bro yes well is there would we like to give any flowers or take backs or giveaways
Yeah, let me just take back the rock. Yeah, we got to do a little bit of... I would love to be invited to the Iron Paradise. So the rock, if you could just invite me there, I would love that. I'm going to give flowers to the first Matrix, which I never really liked and I still don't love.
But I watched it after I tried to get through the new Matrix, and I have a whole new appreciation for it that I didn't have before. So flowers to Matrix 1. Matrix 1. www.whatisthematrix.com Exactly. Do you remember when the Matrix first came out, how much of like the ads for it were so mysterious, and you truly didn't know what it was? And going into that movie...
You just had all the answers came from the film. You had no expectations going in. It just was like mind blowing. Right. It was just like the date that the movie came out vertically on the posters with like the numbers and shit. Yeah. Binary code, baby. I mean, watching it now, I was like, oh, this is cool. This is heavy. My favorite thing ever was the deja vu moment with the black cat.
I love in movies when they explain things that happen in reality and then apply them to the rules of their world, which validates it for the audience. That shit was cool. When he karate kicked at the end and then slowly swung his leg back like that, I hated it. What? Hated it. I was like, that is the dumbest move in the history of action movies. All right. Put your leg down.
Quickly and less. I would love to give some shout out and flowers to Arnold, dude. We mentioned him, but Conan is like, watch that movie. That is a tour de force performance. That guy really- Which one do you like? Barbarian or Destroyer? I mean, they're both great, but I'm a Barbarian guy. Barbarian is mine. I love it.
it. It's just that movies aren't like that anymore. James Earl Jones, right? Yes. So fucking crazy. He like cuts it. With the coolest haircut you've ever seen. I need to rewatch that. Yes, and a sick ass giant snake. Just fucking cool as fuck. He turns into the snake. Those movies ruled. Hold on, I'd like to give some flowers to Red Notice for the most minutes watched of any Netflix show ever made. Burn!
Fuck it! Because that is how we determine whether it is good or not. Hey, Kyle, the train is leaving the station. You're either on board or you're left behind, man. Yo, it's all good. All good. You will be lucky to have somebody watch ten minutes of your shit. I didn't hate it. I did not hate Red Notice. I know people did. It wasn't my favorite movie of all time, but I thought it was fun.
Yeah, it's all good. I'm happy to give notes if they ever want them. You know what I mean? It's all good. That's cool. Kyle in his cobwebby barn with a pickleball just giving notes to movies. It's all good. If people want to know, I'll let them know. You know what I mean? But these are just thoughts.
Hey, go watch The New Matrix and then text me if it's better or worse than Red Notice. Because I did want to watch Red Notice. I was hoping Kyle was going to direct the Silver Surfer movie, but I think your name is out of the hat now. This is... I'll still do it. I'll still do it. I'll still do it. I got a take. I got a take on Silver Surfer. Hey, what happened? I love you.
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