Ep 88: FLAMIN' HOT In Person Pod Action!
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All of us get raging hard boners every time we do the podcast together. They're smoking weed in the wig room again. We got a muncher! I keep getting the underwear. It's a little bit tighter. It's a little bit looser. It's always great. Buckle up. Ow, ow, ow!

I love being able to reach out and touch my guys. I'm touching Adam right now. Currently touching Adam. I'm touching Blake. Would you like to touch? Let me touch you. Hey, Blake, what up? Can we tell everybody why we're touching, how we're touching? Yeah, they might wonder how are we touching if we're on the internet? Why are we touching? Yeah, they're probably wondering.

that. How is this even possible? How could they possibly touch? Nah, fuck it. Let's not tell them. Normal podcast. Coming to you live from four different places. I'm so excited! Hey, just kidding, you guys. Just kidding. We're in the same room. You fucking dummies! I couldn't hold it. Oh my god, they thought we were separate. That's nuts. I couldn't hold it in. It's not a big deal to be together, right? I'm kind of nervous. It's weird how nervous I am. No, I don't think...

The excitement isn't as much there as I thought it was going to be. I thought I was going to see you guys and be like, oh my God. But I feel like we see each other every week. Well, I'll tell you what's different. I'm wearing pants this time because when I'm at my house, I don't wear any pants. I do. I'm joking. I do. Wow. Did you ever do like, because that was the joke at the beginning of the pandemic that was like, and I haven't put on pants in a month. It's been a sweat pants summer for me. I put on pants every day.

Good for you. What do you mean? You just didn't have a day where you didn't put on pants? I never had one day where I just didn't put on pants. What's up with that? I mean, you didn't have a day in your undies? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. No. But like... Not a... Okay. But you put on like sweatpants. Yeah, I put on sweatpants. Yeah, like house pants. Like I put on shit to wear. Like I never had a day where I just wore my underwear all day long. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, you probably should think about doing that every once in a while. You did that? I mean, I do the bottoms off if I'm just having a tube day or something. You know what I mean? You don't even put like shorts on over your underwear? Not all the time. No, if it's hot, if it's in the summer. What, holes? Yeah, they're...

Your underwear is shot up. I didn't know there were holes, but apparently there's holes. It's one of my favorite movies, Holes, baby. I did throw out a pair of undies this morning that I need to throw out a while ago. Wait, did you throw them out already? Yeah. Because I didn't. You might have that one super old pair of underwear that you're like, man, I should throw these away, but you don't. Because it holds the memories. You know what? I want people to send us pictures of their oldest pair of underwear. Yeah, the weird stains.

- I might dig 'em out later because then I could rip-- - Out of track. - Well then I could Hogan 'em off. I didn't do that, I shouldn't have. You know what I mean? - Oh, sure. - Damn. - Wow. - So that's the videos we need is people Hogan-ing their-- - Wait, is that a move in the bedroom? - I don't know, bro. - Hogan-ing off your drawers?

Like straight up ripping your underpants off? I'm sure it is, right? Oh, man. That is so fucking cool. In the Workaholics movie, Ders needs to Hogan his underwears off. Yeah, okay. Okay, who's echoing? Who touched something? Can you mute me?

Jesus. Jesus. What happened? Are we still going? Yeah, now we're good. Now we're back. Hey, man, it's an in-person pod. There's a little hiccups. Yeah. What the heck were we talking about? What even the heck were we talking about? I think we were talking about somebody besides me hogan-ing off their underwear. Oh, you got to do that in the flick. Oh, it was me. It was you. Yeah, you're going to have to. I think Durr should. He needs to unleash the Durrs. In slow-mo? And do that noise you make. Do you want to give it to us? Yeah.

COVID. Oh, COVID. COVID took that from me. Wait, you have COVID and we're doing an in-person pod? Buddy. Oh, God. Give it to me. Wait, hang on a second. Do you believe in COVID?

I haven't got it yet. Proof, case in point. You're a COVID believer? If you got it from somebody, you'd hope it would be me, right? You're going to get it today from hanging out with us. I want it from you. Cut to commercial. I want COVID from you. Cut to commercial. And did your parents get COVID, Kyle? My folks did get COVID. That's right. They did. We were talking about this a little bit before we got on the air. My mother got COVID. He gets really nervous every time he talks about his parents. Needs to hit him. And then my father said, give it to me. Give it to me.

Let me get COVID.

How exactly do you think they did that? I don't know. You guys were coming up with some thoughts. I think just standing 69. The easiest way to get COVID is to standing 69. Right. I know. You cartwheel into it, you get COVID. I think I know how to get it. It's a little athletic. You open up your lungs. Oh, yeah. You're breathing in a standing 69. That's for sure. You're opening it up. You're opening up your lungs. Do some squats up in there. I really love that. Yeah.

All right. Well, see you guys tomorrow. That was it. Now, what are the advantages of being together? Well, I'll tell you one thing. I'm not seeing him so far. Yeah. All right. It was Zonder's birthday very recently. It was. I got a few birthday presents. Oh, this is amazing.

This is a big advantage. Thank you, Blake. And Adam, Kyle, you guys can go retrieve yours. I'm taking on. I'm taking on. I'm in the black bag. This is from all of us. Sony Pictures Television? Yeah, we got a few presents for Durs. This is for all of us. We all went down to Sony the other day. Yeah, we all traveled down to Sony. Well, I'm an on. So if you're listening, okay, open up.

Look at this. Brought to you by Mountain Dew Flamin' Hot Liquid Soda. Goodbye. What the heck? Liquid soda. We've got to try that on. I know. We'll pass that around. Man, I forgot we got that for him. Let's all get COVID together through Mountain Dew Flamin' Hot Liquid Soda. I do like how you stopped at 7-Eleven on the way here and you were like,

Oh, fuck. Yeah, I'll just make it a gift that we share. It's also cool because it's in a Sony Pictures television bag. It is cute. And shout out to Sony. Yeah. Like such good TVs that we should have. Pictures television. Yeah, that would be cool. What's that? What's that? Oh, we got. Tell them what you got. We got a muncher. What is that? From Ghostbusters Afterlife. He's like the new Slimer. Bop-a-sa.

I haven't seen Afterlife yet. It's now available on Starz. I haven't seen it either. Is it Starz? What? It was on HBO Max, and now it's not, and now it's on Starz. I watched it the other day with the kids. You have Starz.

I got them all, dude. I got stars. Stars is the one that I don't have. I tried to sign up for it multiple times. I can't figure it out, man. They make it too hard. Yeah, it is hard. But I got stars because Adam Ray is in Gaslight. Yeah, Gaslit? Yeah. Lit. Lit. Wow, who else did you get? And what else we got here? The homie Adam Ray only plays real people in movies. We got podcasts. That's true. And I do want to circle back to that. Yeah. Podcast. Topical. Podcast. He's a little character from Ghostbusters Afterlife. And another.

And then we got Phoebe Spangler. We just knew, but Adam, we knew he'd love these. I knew he loves Ghostbusters Afterlife. We both knew that you were going to crush these presents. That's so good. Thank you, guys. Thank you. You're welcome. You love Muncher the best? Oh, yeah. Muncher. I thought so. I knew it. I knew he was going to love Muncher. I also knew that. You love Muncher? How's the joke go? Allegedly.

Muncher? Hell, I never met her. Okay. Ew. You know what's wild about this? No, these are mine now. These are Funko Pops, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. These are Funko Pops that Ders is unpacking, and they are beautiful. Oh, is this an... Should I unbox? You should probably unbox a little bit. No.

I'll keep them in the box. Yeah, they're going to be worth more if you keep them in the box. This muncher? That's gold right there in the future. This muncher's hard to get. Rare? This muncher's really hard to get. It's a rare muncher. Dude, I love a rare muncher. Remember when we had Funko Pops for Workaholics and Kyle didn't get one? Ha ha ha ha ha!

Do you remember that full story? Shots fired. Yes, actually. I do want to talk about it. Yeah, that they came with their initial designs and you guys were all your characters and it was me dressed as the director. Yes. It was me. Wow, dude. Then why didn't you agree to that? Because Blake fucking put a kibosh on it, like a real fucking tool bag anti-friend. Why did you do that? You're an anti-friend. No, that is not what I am, bitch. What?

Wow. This is why we have to be in the same room, dude, because we might fight today. Fuck you. No, Blake, fuck you, dude. I forgot about this. This is actually frustrating me right now. No, I think about it a lot, because I'm sorry, and I'm glad I can look you in the eyes, brother. Wow. Okay. What happened? That's actually huge, because I might cry, too.

We just cry in person. We got an email from Funko and they laid out all our characters for approval. Right. I don't remember this. I just remember suddenly people bringing them around. Yeah, and seeing photos online and going, all right, moving on. No, they were in, there was an approval process and they sent like the deck or whatever it is. They sent us, all three of the Workaholics crew were in our ties. We got like our little red solo cups and stuff. And then, so it's like Blake, Adam Durst, and then the fourth one is just

Kyle Nucek. Yeah. Which is so dope. That's weird. And I was wearing like a fucking red flannel. And a black hat. I had my glasses on, hat. And I could have probably said like, hey, could you put a camera in my hand? Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? That would have been sick. He's basically Steven Spielberg, dude. I know. He doesn't even need to be in character. Well, my thing was is I sent back like make Carl because Carl would be a great Funko Pop. I would have Carl. Hey,

I would have the Kyle Nwacek. You know Kyle Nwacek. Who cares if no one buys it? I don't get it. He's an anti-fascist. Mike Funko cares if no one buys it. Well, sure. They want to make their money back. But they pitched it. It's not like we were asking. They were like, we think this works. Yeah, what did happen? I went back to them. I'm like, make it Carl. Make it Carl.

And let's go. And then they were like, nah. And then that just deaded it. They just pulled Kyle entirely and never made it. Yeah, I think it... RIP. There's probably one somewhere. I don't think they ever made a prototype, man. If there is, holler at me. Send it to me. DM me. I'll send you my address. Give it to me.

I mean, if I would have known they weren't going to make it, I would have said just make the Kyle Newer joke. That would have been super dope. I do think about that every time I see a fucking pop, whatever they are. In Germany, someone brought me, there was like autograph hunters always just outside of the hotel. And they brought the Funko Pop, my character. And he goes, can you sign it your name and then 2020?

And I did. I signed it and I'm 2020. And I go, you know, it's 2022, right? After I'd already signed it. And the guy almost cried. He was like, oh,

He had traveled from Hungary to get this goddamn thing signed. Why did he want it 2020? He just was wrong? He just was wrong. But he wasn't trying to scam you to be like, this is actually two years old. That's what I was thinking. It increases the worth. No. Was he crying because he's like, Adam doesn't get that I'm scamming him and I feel bad. I don't think it was a scam. Why would it be a scam? You might have got fished.

Because like in 2020. I mean, I'll sign whatever you want me to sign. In 2020, Adam Devine. I'll write 1996. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The pandemic was my peak year. Yeah. Hey, you know what? I had an Adam Devine sighting this morning. I came downstairs. My kid was eating breakfast and he started watching some movie that I'd never seen.

Your voice. What movie? The Netflix Extinct. Oh, Extinct. Yes. Someone watched it. I saw that too. Extinct on it. It's a cute movie. What is that? I'm a flummel. Excuse me? I'm a fictional character that was extinct, and then I find a time portal through a flower. Donut animals. We're donut animals. And then I go to, I believe, China.

What's your name? Maybe I've never seen this. What's your character's name? I'm like Dot or something. Dot the Flemel. Let's go. Then on the way to school, he goes, Dad, do you think there could be animals that have holes in the middle of them? Or would that be bad evolution or whatever? I'm like, no.

Then I start going, we're just evolved to this moment. Maybe we won't have pinkies in the future. And he's like, well, then we wouldn't have good grips. And I go, we don't know. We might have pedals. You just start spinning out of control. Who knows? Possibly we have gills. I don't know. Then he's like, will you just let me out, Dad? I need to go to school. I'm like, no, no, you get back. No, sit here. This is a moment in time. Turn the heat up.

Roll the windows up. Turn the heat up. Hey, do people have cups? Because I'll start serving this Flamin' Hot. Oh, is it Flamin' Hot time, baby? Are there cups in the kitchen, maybe? Yeah.

Yeah, there's got to be. This place is stocked. That's a round and pound if I ever saw it. Yeah, man. Dude, I would love to fucking hit that. Yeah, cups though. Round and pound. May I touch the bottle? Yeah, absolutely. Okay, fantastic. Yeah, I'm big into cups. Feel the weight. I actually took a photo in the supermarket maybe a week ago in front of the display. Nice.

of the Mountain Dew Flaming Hot because it really does call to you. Well, it doesn't seem like it's going to be good at all. No, it says a blast of heat and citrus. Oh, yeah. On a nice summer day, I want a blast of heat. Yeah. On a hot summer day, when I'm on the blacktop, I want a nice blast of heat. Let me get my heat over ice. I bet it's going to be fucking delicious. Like a spicy, like the stuff they put on the,

How much sugar? Tahini, baby. Yeah, thank you. Well, I'm not a spicy beverage guy. I don't like jalapeno margarita. No, sometimes they do a little too much. I know what you mean. Here's where you got to look at this. Look at this. I like a little pep in your step. Total sugar. Take a guess. Uh.

69. Total sugar. Take a guess. I did. 69? That's good. 12? That's a great guess. 12? It's 130. Nope. Not a good guess. 200. 69. No, you guys. It's like 73. Oh. I thought you were talking to gross. That's a lot. Wow.

That's a lot of choukart. We got the cups. Hey, that being said, love Mountain Dew. If you want to sponsor the pod, come on board. We're big fans. Sometimes brands swing and miss, and I think I'm predicting a miss here, but maybe I take a sip and I am won over. That being said, would love the sponsorship, hit or miss. Here we go. But probably going to be a miss. I will agree with Blake. This is going to be a miss. All right, Durz is pouring right now, just to give you a visual while that music's playing. We are the tube crew. Durz is pouring.

He's getting this party started. Yeah, they would hit 15 seconds on that song.

Wow. Hey, man. Cheers. Wow. Okay. Cheers, guys. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. It does have an orange. It does. More orange. I thought it would be red. I thought it would be a little redder. Happy birthday, Anders. Podcasting in person. Worth doing. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. Happy birthday to you. All right. All right. Okay. For real, though. I have gum. Oh, man. Why'd you? What just happened? Why?

I feel like I'm chilling over here. I'm about ready to do the taste test. We were doing the taste test. Suddenly, Durr spits all over us. It's a spit take. COVID, man. Wait. Frickin' see ya. How did that happen? Blake, is it running out of your nose? What's going on? I took a breath of it, and it just went, ugh. So then you're- That is a hot blast. What made you go? Why did you go? What the fuck happened? I took a breath right before I sipped it, and it just was like when you-

When you take a breath before you eat a hot wing and it just hits... It hits your lips. So this was too... The blast was too intense. It's so hard to even judge the drink right now because there's so much going on. I'm really going to try again, but my mouth really hurts already. From what? I got a little bit on my tongue. Oh, so you're a bitch. Yeah.

Wait, you guys like it? It's not bad. I can't even smell it. It's not great. So interesting, Kyle. You were saying. What are we talking about? This is a tasty treat. By the way, the only one who hasn't been like...

Affected by this is Adam because his uvula is already war-torn. It actually is intense. I did catch it. It crept up into my fucking mouth. You took a breath? I was like smelling it. It's a nice warm feeling that washes over you. You know what it is? I don't know why they put it out at the beginning of summer. This is a wintertime beverage. Yeah, this is Christmas. This is around Christmas.

We're taking Christmas back. You're going to Grandma and Grandpa's house. You bring your Mountain Dew Flaming Hot. Right. And you have yourself a night. Hey, Nana. Could you imagine this is your Christmas beverage? Yeah, you just pound a few Flaming Hots. It was my birthday beverage.

Can you imagine celebrating anything with this? This is a bad omen, brother. Hey, Mountain Dew Flaming Hot, these guys don't want sponsorship, but I want... What is the flavor, either? It's Flaming Hot, Blake. It's the flavor of a blast. It tastes like burning...

Of a hot blast. Come on, there has to be some sort of... It's heat and citrus. Yeah, heat and citrus. Have you never tasted heat before? I have now! What did the sommelier at 7-Eleven say about it? I purchased this at Ralph's. I remember learning what sommelier was because you taught us that when you wrote that scene in...

the promotion, the second episode of where we were. We call him a Somalian. Yeah, a Somalian. He's like, he's black or something. I'm like, but what? What restaurant were we supposedly at? Like an Applebee's type place. Weren't we at a hamburger? Hamburger Hamlet. R.I.P. I don't know. I saw Elton John at a Hamburger Hamlet. Nice. I saw Elton John in Toronto buying groceries. Gator Dunn.

Bro. Cheers to that. I was like, he was all masked up. Dude, what a spotting. To see Elton John, that's a big spotting. Oh, my God. It was dope, dude. He was all masked up, and I still was like, that's fucking Elton right there, bro. Fucking Elton John Walker. And he was hella interested. He's got a walk. That boy struts. Is he swishy or is he walk? Like, strutty. He was hella interested in the orchids at the checkout. Oh.

He was hella looking at him like, let me get this orchid. That's tight that he does his own grocery shopping. Yeah, he just came down. Pusateri's in Toronto. I feel like our boy Adam Devine should have been the star of that Elton John movie that came out a few years ago. The Taron Egerton. You've got the same kind of shaped face. You're a singer. I literally get told that I look like Elton. And Elton John's not known as a particularly handsome man.

But I get told I look like him all the time and I don't know how to take it. Take it. Yeah, I'm taking it. Yeah. I guess I take it. I don't know how to take it. Take it straight to the bank. What do you mean, bro? You look like Papa John. It could be worse. What year are we talking? I do kind of look like Papa John. Huh? Because are we talking here? Young, young. Oh, back in this year? Yeah, he's going to look like that. Yeah, you know. It does look like you. I'm saying. Yeah.

It should have been you. We got to make sure in the video that that photo pops up because, yes, you're right. I am going to. Now go for it. Go young. You should at least take fashion notes from him and start transforming. Absolutely, at least. His famous Dodgers outfit, you could have worn that last night to the game. I should have, yeah. You could definitely start phasing yourself in as Elton John in all of his glory now. Kyle, are you sure you didn't see Adam at the grocery store? I don't know now.

Adam, how do you feel about organs? I love them. Holy shit. By the way, Elton John is rocking a full-on wig at this point because he was balding when he was younger. Yes, of course. Who are you to say that? Dude. You know what I mean? Can I flip this one? Look at, like... Oh. Oh, yeah. His hair is...

So thick now. But that's so many older men who just like shave their heads and wear wigs. You're right. Is that so many? In entertainment. In entertainment. Oh, sure. Who wears a wig? I don't know. Remember Liberace, the fucking special that came out where he just had his wig? Dude, I hope when we're old, we all have wig rooms where we go to each other's house and it's like a totally normal house. Honey, where are you? We're in the wig room. We're in the wig room.

We're podcasting from the wig room. They're smoking weed in the wig room again. I love that. All of our hair just reeks of weed because that's also our weed den. Mom, dad's locked in the wig room again. I'm not coming out. I see you guys aren't still sipping. This pod is sponsored by Fogo.

MTN dude, flaming hot. Sorry, bro. I'm going to finish this little tumbler of it. You know what? This mixed with vodka, that's a night. That's Christmas at grandma's. No, that's middle school sneaking out of your parents' house with a bottle of alcohol. Yeah, you bring this to the mall with half vodka in it. Half vodka? Jesus Christ. What?

What vodka are you pairing with us? This guy's trying to hit a hot topic real hot. Yeah, baby. It's like this and then like Svedka. Mm-hmm.

Something that you think is fancy when you're a kid. You're like, whoa. Vodka is the Swedish one, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Swedish. Where's my Swedish button? Do you have a Swedish button? Well, I did. I don't get it. Is absolute vodka good? Or did they just have a damn fine ad campaign? I think it's pretty mid-tier. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. But also, vodka, unless it's absolute dog shit and you found it in a shed. Wait, absolute? Absolute dog shit. Absolute dog shit. Fucking tight, dude. All right.

The flavor's a little weird, but smooth. I can never taste the difference. Yes, points! Really? Grey goose? Like, wait, wait, what was P. Diddy's? Or Diddy's? Yeah, Ciroc. And now there's Ciroc. Ciroc. That's a cool name. Ciroc is hard. What, they have flavors now, you said? No, seltzers. But I think it comes down to, like, the hangover the next day, like the triple distilled, like you're supposed to not feel it as much the next day. Charcoal filtered. You want that good charcoal filtered Kirkland. But also the amount that I usually drink. Ouch!

Get them. There's going to be a hangover. You're going to feel a little something. But you don't want to be drinking Kalashnikov all night. Does that even change? Do you have no hangovers after a night of drinking no matter what the fuck it is? That's a great question. We've all been there. We've all woken up one time and been like,

How am I not hungover? It's just like one time. It's a very rare, but it's not like... It happens more often than not for me. Yeah, I would say most times. Really? At this age, I don't have that bad of a hangover. This morning, I was shaking a little bit. Whoa, shaking. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah, get on out of there. I threw up powder. Did you yak? This morning. You yak? No, no. Last night...

Blake and I went to a baseball game and then we drank at the Cha-Cha Lounge. Yes. And I was the first one to go home. I was so proud of myself. That's never the case for me. But did you keep drinking? But I got right in my car and got out of it. Swedish. Did you keep drinking when you got home? Swedish. No, I did not. Okay. I did not.

Wow. I know. I know. That's hard to do. I couldn't believe it, man. Yeah, that's weird. Are you okay? I know. And then you woke up shaking? No, this morning I woke up and I... Because there's a lot of stairs in my house, right? Yeah. And then having to go up those stairs, I had to go up and down a few times. I forgot some things. Okay.

At this point, you're trembling. It was a lot. A lot of stairs for today. No, I mean, that happens to me, too. I'm not hungover. I'm just in a lot of shape, you know? Have you ever fallen down your stairs? No. And you would die, I think. I think you would, right? Those stairs? Your outdoor stairs? The indoor stairs.

Outdoor stairs are steep. Indoor ones are steep. Do you wear socks around the house? I do. Okay, good, good, good. Okay, slippery, slippery. I think if you fall down any staircase more than 20 steps, you're going to come away with a fucking busted ass something. Okay. Cool way to put a bow on that conversation. Zip it. 20 is the number? Moving on. Maybe I'll do 10. Okay.

Okay. But if you, if you fell down 10 stairs, do you think you'd fucking, uh, zip it, break something? Or do you think you roll it up? I mean, can you roll out of it? I don't know. I could, I could, you know what I mean? I could zip it. I, uh, when I was a kid, I fell down. It must've been about 15 or 20 stairs. These are the hard facts. I went head over, uh,

tea kettle? Ass over tea kettle. Head over heels. And there was a mirror at the bottom of the stairs and I hit that and I fell back and then the staircase turned and then I slid backwards down the rest of the stairs. On your back? Did you break anything? No. Okay, so there you go. What were you doing? Learning to fly. Learning to fly? Yeah.

Was it 20 steps? It had to have been 20 steps. Well, actually 10 is the new number. I think I'm going to stick with 20 after here. But as an adult, where are the 20 steps? 20 steps? At Adam's house. Not at the house. No, I'm just talking in general. They can be exterior steps. They don't have to be interior. In a row? In a row.

Well, it bends. Okay, guys. See, but I don't know about the landing. I'm actually talking about you can't control yourself. And by the way, I don't know. So I don't think we have the right data. These steps are stone steps. They're very hard steps. Right, right, right, right, right. Yeah, dude. Yeah, that's the... I had stone steps at my old house. It's like the Spanish style kind of... Yeah. Yes, those are very dangerous. I have fallen on those steps. Are they rounded? Yeah. World's most dangerous steps. The fact that Adam's alive...

- Dude, last time I slipped and fell on those same Spanish style steps, I slipped and fell on four of them and cracked two ribs. - Dude, you're so fragile though. - And that's a perfect place to move on. - Fragile, yeah, I'm fragile. In my old age, I'm very fragile. - And we're gonna move on from that. - Should we cut to commercials? - No, guys, let's talk about luggage.

What? Now if you're going up. Roller bags. Roller bags. Roller bags. Dude, let's pay Ludacris to make roller bags. I could use a luggage sponsor. I could use a luggage sponsor for real. We can't go luggage again, guys. No, I'm talking about sponsorship. Just sponsorship. Let's roll. Who would you want to sponsor you as a luggage-er? You know, I just got a great hard bag.

Like a hard roller Samsonite I don't know I don't know enough about luggage We're talking luggage Are we talking luggage Please don't I will walk out of the studio I will walk I will walk if luggage talks to you All I'm saying is the ones with the metal case I think it's Renova Is that the brand I will walk Is that the Renova

What is the name of that brand? I don't know. I'm walking. Wait, wait, wait. If you are walking, you're going to want to pack up your stuff in a Samsonite carry-on. Get yourself a metal case. Make sure you don't have a duffel. Look at this off-mic performance in the in-person pod. I stood up and I had a raging...

That's all I wish for. We're this many minutes into the podcast. That's all I wish for. You hulked off your pants? Have you hulk ripped your pants off? No, you hogan them. Yeah, you hogan your pants off and exposed your raging boner. And I don't have a dick. That'd be a cool reveal that all of us get raging hard boners every time we do the podcast together. This is weird. All right, let's read the ads. Any more ads to read after this? I'm just trying to...

Raging boner.

Have fun.

Call in the heart of it all. Launch your search at callohiohome.com. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. What are your self-care non-negotiables? Maybe you never skip leg day or therapy day. When your schedule is packed like mine with kids' activities, big work projects, and more, it's easy to let your priorities slip. Even when we know what makes us happy, it's hard to make time for it.

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Hey, guys. We here at This Is Important love Philadelphia cream cheese. It is extremely versatile and can be used to enhance any meal or snack. Yeah, it truly makes everything creamier. And, of course, it can be used in so much more than our classic bagel and cream cheese. You can use it in a variety of recipes, occasions, and even as a perfect snack. For example, you can dip vegetables

or crackers in it to snack on. Enhance your guacamole with it. Make a creamy pasta alfredo or even buffalo chicken dip. The recipes are endless. I love to use cream cheese on my bagels. I even dip pretzels in it, baby. Mac and cheese, ramen, frosting, tzatziki. Now you can make it so much creamier. With so many unique recipes, how could you go wrong?

And yes, you can find a ton of recipes on the Philadelphia website. Visit creamcheese.com for recipe inspiration so you can start adding Philadelphia cream cheese to your recipes at home.

You know, it's not a joke anymore. Boost Mobile. I know what you're thinking. Don't they sell burner phones? Yes. The answer is yes. But now they also have a legit nationwide 5G network. Boost Mobile is a major freaking player right up there with Verizon and T-Mobile. Boost Mobile has coverage across 99% of America now, and they're not

I repeat, they are not a joke anymore, guys. Seriously. Okay, laugh all you want, but Boost Mobile's offering unlimited talk, text, and data for just $25 a month forever. Yeah.

Laugh all the way to the bank, guys. Boost Mobile Network includes roaming coverage from partner networks, which cover 99% of the U.S. population. After 30 gigabytes, customers may experience slower speeds. Customers will pay $25 a month as long as they remain active on the Boost Unlimited plan.

Did you guys have the Hulkamaniac shirt as a kid? No. It was like Velcroed down the middle. Oh, that's like a dream. I love that as an adult. Yeah, I had that shit. It was dope. I sort of had that as an adult. I was really big into, you guys remember, when I was wearing the Western button-ups with the snap buttons? For sure. I wore a lot of those. I look back at photos of my late teens, early 20s. That's all I wore. Is this Lucky?

Lucky Brand? It might have been Lucky Brand. We know it. We know the brand. It's fucking fantastic. Have we covered your Lucky Jeans phase? Oh, yes. Lucky You. What they say on the inside of the fly. Lucky You. Yes, sir. Talked about it. Dude, what a fucking pervert at Lucky Jeans. He's like, and when you open the fly, it says Lucky You.

And everyone just goes, you're the guy who's bankrolling this. Does Lucky Jeans still exist? Fine. For sure. They do? They have to. I have no clue. I was just at the Grove two days ago. They're no longer there. Well, I'm not saying you can get them at the Grove, but I guarantee you they're at Marshalls. Yeah, brick and mortars are done, bro. It's all online. They're done. Okay, yeah. Go off. Go off. Go off, queen. I miss the days when I could walk around the Grove and pick shit up. I like to physically touch. You can do that today. You still can. There's still stores? We can all go together after this. Okay.

I'm good then. I'm golden. Let's go. I do need to go shopping, and I'd love to go with you, bros. I would love to go shopping with Kyle. What do you need to get, Kyle? Oh, pants. Underwear. Apparently. And underwear, yes. I need to go to specifically Saks. I'm not moving from that brand. Does Saks have its own store? No, Saks can't. No, Saks is like in Nordstrom. They're very niche. If your whole brand is keeping your nuts in a little pocket in the front of a store,

in the front of your underwear that you can't have a store. It's too niche. They call it the cockpit. One of these underwear brands calls that thing the cockpit. They keep experimenting with it. I keep getting the underwear. It's a little bit tighter. It's a little bit looser. It's always great. Always fantastic. It's a little bit tighter. It's a little bit looser? Because they change it up. They have different types of pouches. So they haven't found what works. My point is they all feel good. Okay, so you can buy for your specific size cock.

Yeah, you can. Yeah, I think so. I think, I don't know. I feel like if it's your brand, dude, you should know this. I know. I don't know a lot about the brand. I just like the name and I enjoy the cupping. I enjoy the snug. I like the snug. I don't want to talk about it. That was a cool time in our lives when we first started to make money on Workaholics.

And then we all started to come in with designer brand underwear. Felt good, man. To be clear, I always overspent, even when I had no money on underwear. You always treated yourself. Whatever the billboard was on Sunset with Calvin Klein, whatever those underwear were...

I was getting them. My first good-ass underwear I got with you. With me? Yeah. You showed me the ways of the breathable mesh. And I had red Calvin Klein underwears that... Yes. You remember those underwears? That cost probably like 30 bucks at the time. And I wore them too much. Yeah. Because I thought...

oh they're expensive I should be able to wear them every day yeah no not the case you have to wash them you do and turns out you have to wash them yeah yeah it's nuts damn son where'd you find this it's nuts underwear talk the luggage of your scrotum Kyle you look ashamed

I look ashamed of myself. Yeah, you look like you're sad you just admitted that on air. What? Which one? About your underwear. What about it? Oh. No, it's fine. It's all good. All right. Do you rock the super long Duluth Trading Company underwear that goes down your kneecaps? I don't.

Have you seen those commercials during football games where they like flash the different shapes and sizes or whatever? And there's a fucking underwear that goes down to the knees. Really? Yeah. What's it doing? That's got to be hot. It's got to be for like riding a horse or some shit. It's got to be for riding a horse. I don't know. Why would you want underwear that goes down that far? You live in the country. You're out and about. There's thorns.

Oh, it's to protect the thighs from thorns? I'm sorry. I want underwear with built-in thorn protection. Duluth. I want underwear with fucking built-in knee pads, bro. Oh, damn. I think those are just football pads. Why do you want that? Why do you want knee pads? Right, right, right. I don't know.

I don't know. Why are you on your knees? Is it real? You trying to get COVID? I was just connecting it. I was just connecting it to my knees. Why do you want to be able to drop down your knees at any time?

I want to protect them. I just want to protect them. At any given moment, Kyle needs to drop to his knees. What is that? Just leave me alone. You're religious? You pray? You pray? You can now get pants with built-in underwear, which I do not understand at all. And is this a lucky you situation? It's a new brand. They're doing commercials now that I've seen during playoffs.

And it's like, I don't know what the fuck they're called. I don't want to plug them, but they're like chinos with built-in boxer briefs. And I'm like, so you just have to wash your pants every day?

Yeah, that sucks. The fuck are you- They're built in. So like the athletic, you know the athletic ones? The athletic hosiery. Yeah. I hate that. Why would they do that? I hate even in like the shorts that have the underwear. I don't know what the fuck people are doing now. The industry must be bored as fuck if it's doing that. Yeah, no good call. That's not a hole. There's no hole in the market that they need to fill with that. You know what I mean? They're just bored. We're talking market holes. Yeah.

That shit's important. I don't know. That's what I'm saying. They're bored. Hey, I'm out. I'm with you, player. You guys finished it? I literally... Hey, dab me up. Give me a splash. Adam was shaking again. I'm shaking. I cannot drink it. Don't.

Don't spill. Do not spill, Blakey. That's, ooh, good. I can't drink it. Like, it hurt. Hey, when's the last time you guys went to a donut shop and just bought donuts? Long time. Oh my gosh, that's so bad. It goes in my nose. Maybe when you guys made me eat a donut out of the toilet. That could have been. That's actually the donut shop I went to most recently. It's called Donut King, and it's in Burbank, and it rocks.

There's a documentary on them, right? Is there? Yeah. Is there? Is that the one that's on Olive? Is it on Olive? It's on Olive. Yeah. At the Orcaholics. I went to Winchell's the other day, and I was like, I just feel like a donut. I got a fuck. I got three. Good job. They were just for me, by the way. Not like I'm going somewhere, like my kid's having a birthday party, whatever it is. Dude, I love it. You're like shame dad eating. You're like, drop your kids off, and you're like, I've got to. Dude, that's what I can see happens. Ate one in the car before I got anywhere. Yeah.

And it was so fucking good. I was like... I eat because I'm on Hoppy. I might come here every day. It was bad. Nobody knows you're there. Nobody even knows you went. So you could get it every day, bro. You ate three donuts?

Eventually. Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah. No, I take that back. I ate two and split the other one. The kids split the other one the next morning. You know what we call it when you have an object that you eat before or food that you eat? No, Kyle, what do we call that? It never existed. Yeah.

Never existed. That first donut never even existed. Don't let a lie ruin your appetite. Absolutely. It's all about lying to yourself. Right, right, right. To make yourself feel better. Well said. I couldn't lie. It kind of is. I was blown away by just a fucking, like a chocolate donut, right? Mm-hmm.

So good. Yeah. Oh, you love it. Wait, what kind? It was unbelievable. Chocolate. He just said it. Like a regular donut with the chocolate frosting on top. Your boobs are huge. And it was unreal. Like a donut with a hole. What the fuck? Yes. What's up, doggy? What's going on over there? You don't know what donuts are now? I was thinking maybe it was a chocolate bar.

I would have said chocolate bar. Or Long John. Okay, if you're going to grill me. Was it a cake donut or was it a donut? What's the other one? Yeah, you tell me. It's like sourdough.

What are you talking about? The old fashioned? Are you talking about the old fashioned? That's a cake donut. That's a cake donut, right? The cake are the dense ones. Right. And then the other ones are the sourdough. Cake is what Adam ate out of the toilet. Yes. It soaks up the most water. Someone posted the video, like the whole documentary that like-

And we got snubbed that year by the Academy. I wonder if we could win awards with that. We might be able to. It was so fun. Just just a glimpse into our lives a decade ago. Right. Yeah. That was wrong. What we did to you, though. No, I still would do it again. I mean, I got. Oh, really? I got sick. I know. Well, we're podcasting in person. The price went up.

The price has gone up. What's your price now? $5,000 now. You would do that again for 5Gs? Yeah. Tight, tight, man. That's what's tight about you. What about $1,000? For $1,000? Oh, good. A toilet donut. No. Eat a donut that's been soaking in a toilet. Let's do the $500. So $1,500? No.

Real money on the table. $5,000. Well, now I have money, guys. I know, but then I didn't have any money. I'm just trying to find it. $3,000? No, I said $5,000. I know, but have you thought about it? I haven't. $3,000. Maybe $3,000. That's what I'm saying. $2,500. He's coming down. I'm willing to go in on $2,500.

No, I can't do it right now. I don't want to watch him do that again. I know I'm going to get sick. Because last time, I was... I guaranteed I wasn't getting sick. And then I got wildly sick for two... Like a virus. It was like Friday. We did it on the last day in the writer's room. And then we started that next Monday. And I was sick for like a week and a half. What's cool is that... And I appreciated this at the time. Is that we...

Right or wrong, we posed this to one of the assistants or two of the assistants. Like, hey, would you eat a donut out of the toilet for $500? And they passed because they're like, that's gross. Who would do that? That's disgusting. And you were like, I'll do it right now. To teach them a lesson. I was dumbfounded that

The PAs were like, for $500, no way I'm doing that. I'm like, what are we talking about? Because the PAs, they don't get paid well. $500 is like half a week's work or more of what they're making. Is that what that was? Is that what the lesson for you? What is the lesson? See, I'll eat shit. I don't care. And look at him now. Maybe I am not a prideful man.

Wow. I would say that. Yeah. Okay. No, I don't get it. You just said that you would eat shit. I would. Like, again. But for 500 bucks? Not for 500. You just said you would. A slight number has gone up. But eating shit now. Now it's just like eating shit. Do you know that you said that? You're a shit eater with no pride. Yeah, I'm prideless. I really am. You're a prideless shit eater. What are you so prideful about? What is it? That's true. Well, I mean, you're right. You're right. I mean, yeah, fucking who cares about shame? Yeah. Yeah.

What's the point of being shamed? Yeah, that's right. Why are you shameful about anything that you've ever done? I mean, my butthole's in our movie. Exactly. Watch Game Over, man. You can't quite see the butthole, but you see where it should be. Yeah, that's right. That's because your cheeks are so deep. We couldn't get a lens past them. I got them rotund.

I couldn't get the lens in there. The sourdough cheeks, as Blake said. You do, baby. You got them big boys back there. Big boy buns. A couple bear claws clapping together. Why do they even sell plain donuts with no frosting? You mean glazed? No. No frosting. You mean just a cake? Adam ate what's plain cake. Yeah.

Yeah, it was just a cake. But the cake is different because the cake itself has a... There's sugar and sweetness into that. I think you get that for dunking. I think you dunk it in your coffee. I think that's the prime one that you would dunk in your coffee. That's true. Yeah. I think you're right. That shit's important. Great answer. Thank you. Sherbet says... I mean...

You fucking asked. You know, like, why else? I feel like that's it. The fact that we haven't been on Family Feud together. Oh, my God. Wow. Could we do that? Isaac, we got to talk to somebody about that. Oh, my God. That would be a dream. I love Steve Harvey. He's such a good host. Oh, my God. What did you say? Yeah.

What? Just his looks. He'll just give a look to the camera and then walk away, and that kills the audience. I think I would freeze up. I'd be so nervous. Oh, for sure, yeah. But that's part of it. Yeah, yeah. You have to go on YouTube. Naked grandma! Yeah. Exactly. That's the best one.

Which one's that? I can't remember the set up question. What the hell am I saying? It's like two people at the podium to hit the thing. It's like the first question. It's like, what's something you don't want to see? And the guy goes, without hesitation, goes, naked grandma. What?

There's another one. I forget what it's like something. And then the answer is guys like gay lovemaking. And that's the answer. It actually is. It's really good. What's the setup? I don't know. I guess it doesn't. I didn't know. So what was the context or anything around that? I don't know. I just love seeing it flipping. Oh, gay lovemaking. Yeah.

And then a family just losing their minds over it. Right. Really good. That's how he came out to his family. They're like, well, why did you know that? He goes, I'm gay. We're winning. Let's go. And son, that's the number one answer in this family. I'm proud you could be yourself.

Happy Pride Month, everybody. That's right. Happy Pride Month. You're up on my board. It is Pride Month. I almost wore a big rainbow today, and I didn't. You should have. What do you have that's a big rainbow? What do you have? I got some shoes that are rainbow colored. I almost whipped them out. I'm kind of pissed. You got a rainbow bag, isn't it? I got a rainbow trout on my bag. Oh, that works. For everyone at home.

There you go. You've had that bag for a while. I know. What's the brand on that bag? Patagonia. You want to shout out your luggage? Patagonia, yeah. When I travel, I like to do a top-load backpack made by Patagonia.

Watch his commercial. Look, you can see his commercial right there. Patagonia. Hey, it's good. The clasp has been broken for about five years, but I still rock with it. Okay. Lean with it. Fantastic. We love it. Wow. Okay, cut to commercial. Yeah, hey, a little luggage talk. Nothing like luggage talk to slow things down. It's science. It's science.

Right.

Hey guys, we here at This Is Important love Philadelphia cream cheese. It is extremely versatile and can be used to enhance any meal or snack. Yeah, it truly makes everything creamier. And of course, it can be used in so much more than our classic bagel and cream cheese. You can use it in a variety of recipes, occasions, and even as the perfect snack. For example, you can dip vegetables

veggies or crackers in it to snack on. Enhance your guacamole with it, make a creamy pasta alfredo, or even buffalo chicken dip. The recipes are endless. I love to use cream cheese on my bagels. I even dip pretzels in it, baby. Mac and cheese, ramen, frosting, tzatziki. Now you can make it so much creamier. With so many unique recipes, how could you go

wrong and yes you could find a ton of recipes on the philadelphia website visit creamcheese.com for recipe inspiration so you can start adding philadelphia cream cheese to your recipes at home

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If you have time, though, go on YouTube and just watch, like, Steve Harvey, like, greatest family feud moments. Hey, Blake, hit him with a quick Google search while we're fucking trying to find our next topic. Dude, Google this, guys. Honestly, because he will, a lot of the stuff he does doesn't make it to air, because he'll, like, roast people for, like, upwards of 15 minutes, and it is just cold. Wait, so this isn't, like, just clips from the show. No. This is...

someone's leaking the footy behind the scenes. I mean, they're doing it on purpose, right? It's promotional materials. I heard that like,

shoot days go really long because Steve loves to joke with like the audience and he'll like keep and the crew is just like god damn it we're supposed to shoot my daughter's birthday that's fucking awesome so he's just my daughter's dance recital he'll go for like he's doing like volume performances on that and then they're picking the best well you gotta remember the guy's a great stand-up comedian oh great one of the kings one of the kings that's right king's a comedy baby uh

It sucks they need to do another Kings of Comedy. They need to put stand-up in theaters. That would be fucking cool. That would be cool. That was so much fun to watch that shit in the theater. The only time I've ever seen stand-up in a movie theater. Great. I brought up D.L. Hughley to Chloe and some of her friends the other night. Uh-oh, he's in deep doo-doo. Oh, is he? They didn't know who that was. He makes the news. Well, he's feuding right now with Monique. What?

I want everyone here to pick a side right now. I'm going Monique. I love Monique. Yeah, Monique does rule. But what DL does wear those hats. He does have hats and a goatee. I think I'm going to go with Monique too. I think he was kind of, she was complaining or bringing something up about something. And he was like, just stop. And she was like, mm-mm. Mm-mm.

And that's like the broad, like I just read a headline and I'm doing even more vague. That's how I read all my news. I read the headlines and then try to explain what the article is to people. D.L. Hughley said, just stop. Just stop or something. I don't know.

I think she's, because she said she was like underpaid or under-offered by Netflix a few years ago when she was offered like 500 grand for a Santa special. And then Amy Schumer was offered $10 million or something. And she was like, I just won the Oscar. Like, I'm Monique. I shut it down when I go on the road. She won an Oscar for what? For Precious, right?

I don't know. And by the way, that's kind of her point. Everyone's like, you want an Oscar? She's like, yes, I'm an Oscar winner. Like, why isn't this known? Why isn't this out there? But then I think people are kind of like, stop complaining. I think DL was like, nobody cares. Just,

Just do your thing. Bro, you don't tell Monique to stop. She's got a point. She's got a point. He is a king, though. Is she a queen? Yes, she is. She might be a queen of comedy. Yeah, just let her talk, though, man. You don't need to fuck her. Come on now. Dude. I'm glad we're getting into it, too. I know. I'm glad we have all the facts and we're all just kind of talking. We're all just tiptoeing into the water. That shit's important. I'm all for more talking, less listening.

You know what I mean? More talking, less listening. Everybody fucking vent. Get it out there. Say your shit. And then I just maybe will listen or not. Life is a podcast. That's cool, man. More talking. Express it. Less listening. For me. Zip it. You know what I mean? That's really cool, man. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, wow. So we just saw Top Gun. What did you think? Oh, I'm hearing good things. I saw it last night. Here's my big takeaway. Monique should have been in it. Monique should have been in it. Oscar winner. Tom Cruise's character should have been played by Monique. And that's not wrong. Here's my thing. I thought it was good.

Tom Cruise is a gift to us all. To be alive at this time, I'm just like, this dude fucking rocks. There's no reason that movie should be as good as it was, but Tom Cruise is just like, he draws you in. He's the last movie star. He really is. You know, I got some...

Some intel on Tom Did I tell you guys about this? I just Yesterday I had to Record a song with Ryan Tedder Who's a He's the lead singer of One Republic And he's like a big songwriter And wrote like Songs for Justin Bieber And Lil Nas X Popo Z

Olivia Rodrigo and shit. K-Fed? We know who this dude is. Yeah. Okay. So I had to go do a song for the bumper show that I did. And he was telling me that Tom Cruise, he did a song in the original Maverick. Or in the Top Gun Maverick. The guy, Tedder. Yeah, Ryan Tedder. He wrote an original song that was in the...

where they're playing football on the beach. Yep. The hunkiest scene in the movie where they're shirts off, glistening, pecs, abs. Yes. Very hot. And it's...

In the new one, it's the same kind of scene? They do a football one, which is offense and defense at the same time. You have no idea what's going on, but it's a dog fight. I was like, this is fucking stupid. But really sexy, though, right? Yeah, of course. They could have played pickleball. It would have been cooler. Exactly. If only they were playing pickleball. If only. He told me that Tom Cruise, he asked Tom...

And was like, hey, how do you stay in such great shape? I mean, you have to be so busy. I'm a vampire. He says he doesn't. He has this machine and he only works out for 15 minutes a day. Yeah, I've seen the machine. You've seen this machine? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the one from the 90s.

On one side... I love that. I'm sticking with it. It's not from the 90s. It's new technology. I looked it up. I'll have to figure out the name. All I know is it's a massive machine and it's $14,600 or whatever. No, it was like $150,000 for two machines. Pizza, pizza.

Okay. What I've seen is this one. Maybe you used to work out on this. What are those? It's got, on one side, it has a very deep stair climber type thing. And on the other side, it has like a bench press thing that you're sitting up. It's like a Nordic track type thing. This is, you're sitting in like a regular seat and then you bench press out and then lean forward. And then you have to row it back. So you're doing a push and a pull and you do that Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and then you do the legs push.

So this is the trick. I've been doing it wrong the entire time. But you do it as intense as possible for that time. That's what he says he does. And he has this new machine now that is kind of like a tonal. Have you seen those that are on the wall? Yeah. It keeps the perfect amount of tension the entire time. But it's like this huge fucking contraption. And he says he just does. That being said, I bet they'd be good to try out. Yeah. Send them to us. Yeah. Yeah.

So that's the trick. That's how Tom Cruise stays looking like Tom Cruise. Also, though, he's a deepfake now. Oh, he's an alien? No, he's a deepfake. Everywhere you see him, he's a deepfake. We're in person now. We drove here. It was just a deepfake show. He's got good deepfakes out there. There's a guy who goes around as him. And he does a deepfake. Like a...

Loose. For sure in the movie, there's for sure CGI on his face in the movie, though, right? Sorry, I thought it was going to land. The fact that he's less wrinkly than all of us, how is he doing it? He's like 60 years old. But you saw the thing before the movie, Tom comes out.

And is like, hey, everyone, we're super excited you're here. Guess what? This movie, the Gs are real. The planes are real. We really did it. And he does look old in that. Wait, he came out before your movie? Well, you know, I mean, there's a secret there. Oh, I didn't. Not at the Grove. Oh, I think maybe I saw it IMAX. So maybe it was for IMAX. Fancy. Is that you have to wear like 3D glasses for that? I don't.

For IMAX? Dude, he's had LASIK. He doesn't need 3D glasses. I don't. No, it's just a big screen. By the way, I thought it used to be like a circle-shaped screen that like convexed around you. It's a convex, yeah. But this was just like a big screen. I don't remember the circle part of it, but I do remember the convex. Adam, you good? What just happened over there? My dude is crushing. Did you just crush that? Was that the whole thing? Are you okay? What's up? Oh my God, bro. What?

Bully. Yes, puss. Wait, why did you slam that so hard? What's going on? Is that how you normally drink water? I got to stay hydrated, man. But that was a lot of water at once. Like a big old, how many OZs is that? It was just a regular little water. That's nuts. Fuck it. Fucking nuts. Did you like it, Adam? Scares me. I did like it. Maverick? Top Gun. Top Gun Maverick? Yeah.

Yeah, I liked it. I just thought it was very much in line with the first movie. And they didn't try to reinvent the wheel, and that's not what they should have done. So I liked it. It pulled on all the same...

heartstrings as the first one. They picked the nostalgic points and kind of did it again. Yeah, exactly. Like you say, the football shit, same shit. Was Jennifer Connelly in the first one? I'm sure it was good. It was just like he knew her. By the way, is she like a multi-millionaire bartender?

I know. She has a house on the beach. She takes him on a small yacht, like sailboat, and then in the very end pulls up in a mint condition 1987 Porsche that's for sure worth a quarter million dollars. Yeah, she was super cool. She makes a lot of money on that marine bar that she works at. Maybe it's a family heirloom or something. What is? The car. Yeah, it could have. What?

I want the backstory on that. The boat and the house? Your family heirlooms. Yes, yes. She rich. Chop gun heirlooms. Right, okay. Well, what is Tom Cruise's best movie ever? I know my answer. Best movie ever? Vanilla Sky. I don't know. I went to Rain Man. The Mummy. I went to fucking Rain Man first. Hang on. No, wait. Let me know if you're ready for the correct answer. Mission Impossible 1, super sick. The Mummy.

The Mummy. Austin Powers. It's The Mummy. No, Tropic Thunder. This is correct. Yes, Tropic Thunder. Incorrect. And I think he's in Austin Powers, right? It's no contest. Wait. Has like the credits at the end? He is. Yeah, yeah. This one's the easy answer. His best. It's not easy though because like born on the 4th of July, you're like, holy fuck. Well, I've never seen this. This dude is putting...

He's like, I've seen one Tom Cruise movie. I'm trying to think of his worst movie. I'm really trying to think of his bomb. Blake's going to pick whatever his bomb was. War of the Worlds. It's the mummy. I've said it.

The answer, the only answer is... You might be right. I bet it's from the 90s. It is from the 90s. Is it Days of Thunder? No. Because it should be. That's second. I've never seen that. That movie rocks. You've never seen Days of Thunder? That's second place. It's not great, but it's good. Our porno tape when I was a kid that we found on my buddies... What's the Few Good Men? We called it Nights of Thunder. Oh.

Yeah, and our parents were like, what is Knights of Thunder? And they're like, it's the sequel that they're making to Days of Thunder. You got an early copy. They're like, okay, they found our porno tape. Knights of Thunder? It wasn't my friend's parents' actual them fucking. It was a porno tape. Dang, Knights of Thunder would be a hard-ass porno. I mean, Magnolia? A few good men?

Magnolia. That's not his movie, but it's... Yeah, but he crushes that. It's not The Mummy. He crushes that. Do you want a clue? We've got some issues. Do you want an audio clue? Yes. Okay, here you go. Jerry Maguire. I want the truth.

Cocktail? Yeah, Cocktail. There it is. Yes. Point. That's number one. Definitely not. What? No. Definitely not. Cocktail is a flawless film. It's probably... Dude, I said The Mummy like 12 times. I've never seen that. Blake, let's make Cocktail. Let's reboot it. Oh, I would love to. Let's do that. You don't think Cocktail is his best movie ever? But I would love to see Blake...

Flipping bottles. I know. In South Beach for your guys' remake of Cocktail. It's going to be visually stunning. Oh, it's Eyes Wide Shut.

Eyes Wide Shut. I've never seen that. Over Magnolia? Who's never seen it? Well, Eyes Wide Shut actually is. Because he took over directing the movie. Eyes Wide Shut. He took over because that's the movie that Kubrick died. Why are you nursing that drink? He's a gift. Yeah. And Tom Cruise saw that movie through. I love Tom Cruise. Cocktail, dude. Revisit it. It is so good. I've seen it. I saw it like five years ago and was like.

Man, they used to just make anything. No. I know. Come on. Yeah. How great is that? The Australian bro is so cool. Yeah, from FX. Yeah.

And is he in Jaws? No, he's not in Jaws. Did you just say FX, like FX, F slash X, the movie? Yeah. And FX too. Yeah, those movies fucking- With the clown? They're the best. Those movies do roll. They're the best. Yeah. They should bring that back. Except for practical effects don't happen anymore. Oh, God. No, but why not? That'd be great. I mean, it- Well, because practical effects don't- Oh. Popo Sack!

And that was another episode of... Do we have take-backs? Yeah, any take-backs? Apologies. What's our clock at? We're at a hot 56, I think. I got a lot of take-backs. I take back talking over you guys constantly the entire time today. Sorry about that. Well, see, we came in hot. We had a lot of energy up top. We were excited to see each other. You probably heard it. I want to take back...

Blake not coming with more Flaming Hot Mountain Dews. You want to take that back. I would like to take him back to the 7-Eleven and have him buy more because it's so fucking delicious. I think he said it was a Ralph's, though. I got you, bro. I'm listening. Thank you for listening. I would like to take back the fact that I brought it. I truly...

I truly do not like this beverage. I love Mountain Dew, but this flavor, I can't even. You're taking this back? What is your favorite Mountain Dew? I was just going to say, we've done this before. We've ranked Mountain Dews before. Well, this one is bottom of the barrel. Bottom? It's definitely not the bottom. It has 73 grams of sugar. It's doing something. What are you talking about? I feel stronger from it. What Mountain Dew flavor do you think is worse than this? They're all delicious. We sadly know. Diet is the worst. I like diet. Oh, God.

The number one. Let's talk luggage. Regular is number one. Mountain Dew straight up is number one. Number one. Okay, fine. Code Red is probably number two.

Very close to Baja Blast. Yeah, I like Baja Blast, too. There were two other flavors with Baja Blast, and one of those was very bad at TB. Taco Bell. Should we get lunch at Taco Bell together after this? Is there one nearby? If there's one nearby, maybe I'll hit it up. I know there's an Arby's for somebody who said they wanted to hit that. Oh, yeah, we're right by it. Daddy wants that.

Okay, daddy. Okay, daddy. Daddy shall get it. You daddy? Who's daddy? We got three fathers here. I'm the daddy now. Blake's pulling up flavors. Oh, you know what? No, the shock. The orange shockwave or haywire. That's my second favorite. Livewire? Livewire. We should do a cool game.

I would fuck that one. I would stick my dick in that can. We should do a game where you have to guess whether it's an Axe body spray flavor or a Mountain Dew flavor. All right, hit it up. Okay. Let's play the game. Okay. We're staying in it, guys. Stick with us. Is it an Axe flavor or is it a Mountain Dew flavor? Okay. Uproar. That's Axe. That's Axe. What? What?

No, it's not. No, it isn't. This is so good. We got to put this at the top of the episode. Wait, really? Keep going, keep going. Let's do another. What flavor is uproar? Explain what uproar is. I don't know. It's orange. Okay. And it has a dragon on it. Oh, shit. Fuck. Distortion. Distortion. That's axe. That's got to be an axe. That has to be Mountain Dew. Mountain Dew, baby. Come on. Okay.

I'm off on my Mountain Dew knowledge. And Axe. Okay. By the way, there's somebody at home listening right now who's like, I can't believe these fucking dudes didn't know. These fucking posers, bro. They act like they know dude. I thought they were part of the dude crew. Wow, dude crew doesn't even know about uproar? Hey, and fuck you guys. Ow.

Coming in hot. Hi, Steve. Dark Temptation. Oh, that's Axe. That is Axe. Dude, also, what kind of fucking perv is buying Dark Temptation at the Target with their mom for sure? Hey, can I get somebody over to aisle five to unlock this so I can get some Dark Temptation? Yeah.

Okay. How embarrassed are you to reach for the dark temptation when you ask them to open up? I like that the dark temptation is under lock and key at the CVS. They all are. Everything's fucking lock and key now. You can't go outside without getting locked. Go off. Go on. Get off, man. This is what I want to hear. What about... Go off, King. Excite.

That's an axe. That's an axe. That is an axe. Very good. By the way, this is just telling me that Mountain Dew has naming shit on lock and axe is kind of lazy. Oh, by the way. They need to get the whatever that title, the marketing guy. I was going to call him the chief namer, but I don't think that's right. They need to get the chief namer on the line. They need to get the Mountain Dew chief namer over to axe. The title guy. The title man. Here's my last one.

Get the title man. Here we go. Yes, okay. For all the money in the world. Final answer. For? Bitcoin. For all the money. Voodoo. Voodoo. That's a Mountain Dew. That's a purple bottle, I believe. I'm going with that. I think you jumped. I actually think you jumped. Put your ass up. I think you might have jumped to Old Spice without telling anybody.

No, no, no. That's a Mountain Dew. Mountain Dew. That's a Mountain Dew. Trick question. Both. Both.

What the heck? Dude, and look at that purple can. Voodoo Axe and Voodoo Mountain Dew. I knew it. Voodoo. Yep. How did you find that so quickly? And what flavor is Voodoo? Voodoo is, I don't know. How quickly? It doesn't say what any of the flavors are. It just says Voodoo. Mystery flavor. It's a mystery flavor. I would love a good mystery in my beverage. We're saving that for the second one.

Isn't that a religion? I'd love a good mystery bed. Remember Phoenix Axe Spray, though? We all have Phoenix, right? Is it a religion? Next time we all hang out together and we're drinking, we should... And also we could make some fun mocktails for you. Thank you so much for saying mocktail.

We got to get mystery drinks to each other. I think that'd be fun. Where you just go off, you make some mystery drinks. I like that. You give it to your friends. You don't tell them what it is. Don't put Flamin' Hot in mine because I don't like it. Wait, are you saying you just go to the kitchen and you dump shit in there? You make your own mystery drink. Bro, I feel like I used to do that with my homies when I was eight years old. This could be a scene in a cocktail. This could be a scene in a cocktail. Mocktail. Yeah, I like that.

that. I did think you were going to say next time we're all together, we should bring in a bunch of deodorants. And I was ready to be amped on that. Alright. And that's another episode of This is Important. This is important. Important. Roller bag. Team Monique.

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