Ep 94: You’ve Been Way-O’d!
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Welcome to This is Important, a production of iHeartRadio, the show where we only talk about what's the most important, bottom line, critical thing happening on this planet. Today on This is Important. Hey, you're never going to believe what just happened in the bathroom. I blew Blake, dude, as a prank.

Well done. I actually follow you on Instagram and I saw the fish you've reeled in. Fuck it, throw that shit and take a picture now. I actually think all of the talk that we've done is riveting and we make great radio. Buckle up.

Wow. Yes. We're clapping hands. Perfect. Come in hard. You just come in saying beer hella hard. Beer, beer, beer. Tight butthole. Loose butthole.

I am. What's up? I'm like, I'm trying to go sober right now. I'm going sober for two weeks. Yeah, me too. Me too. What are you drinking? That glass looks huge. Durs just lowered a margarita out of the fridge. It's a toilet I found. This is actually a margarita. Yeah. It looks like it's a urine and ice. Wow.

I thought it was just straight glass going down from that thickness. I was like, Jesus Christ, Jersey. No, no. It's a margarita glass that I got from Isaac Horn, our manager for my wedding. Wow. Oh, wow. That was cool. Nice. I don't think he got me anything. Yeah.

Yeah, I doubt it. I doubt it. Zero consistency from that man. I don't think he got me anything. Sometimes he remembers. Sometimes he forgets. I got to get you something, too. You just reminded me I got to get you something, Adam. That's my bad. I don't remember. No, I know what I'm getting you. I know what I'm getting you, so it's all good. Oh, shit. Yeah, but I'm not going to say anything. But you're going sober? Well, you said two weeks. Why two weeks? Not telling. He's not telling. He's not telling. Actually, don't tell. So I won't remember, right? That's why you're not telling. Yeah.

No, I have a plan, but I'm not going to tell you. Otherwise, it's not a good gift. What's up with two weeks? Well, what this plan is failing. It's been six months. Talk to me. Why are you going sober? Yeah, what the fuck, dude? Did you do acid again in

No, I didn't do any acid. It was just like I drank for 10 straight days. So I had people looking. Fourth of July, baby. Yeah. People come in town and then they owe two groups of people coming in town and they overlap. Groups of people overlap. And so it was every day was just a fucking banger. And you just need to find some other stuff to do.

Kyle. See, that's what I was thinking. That's me and Chloe had like a real conversation. We're like, we also, we just need to have other hobbies. Yeah. Like other things that with our groups of friends would like to go do, but then we like to do those other things, but then also drink while we're doing them. You know what I mean? So right now I'm doing a two week,

cleanse my body. I'm just chugging a lot of coffee. 10 days to 2 weeks. Somewhere around 7 to 10 to 12 to 6 hours. Honestly, it might be more like 10 days. You really think you won't be able to go 14 days? It is tough. I'll throw down the gauntlet. That's kind of wild. I'll tell you right now, if you can do 14, you can do 30. If you can do 30, you can do

Dude, Blake. Yeah, but I don't want to. That's the thing. I don't want to. I'm just trying to. It's not about the drinking because I love drinking. It's about the fat that I collected. Mmm.

It's just a vanity play for me. I love the drink. The drinking's great. But what about just having a beer? What about just having a beer? No, but that's no fun. I'm with Ders here. So you can't stop. You can't stop. No, I'm not a... I don't have...

one drink a night. Like I'll go several days without drinking, but I don't like to just have like one or two drinks at night. I'll go several days without drinking. I prefer that when I am drinking, I prefer to get drunk because that's the, that's what you want to do. That's the cool thing to do. No, I completely agree. Yeah. Yeah. No, I get it. I get it. What do we think is more dangerous? People who take the edge off every night with three drinks or

or someone who drinks on the weekend and has eight to nine drinks. What are we saying? More drinks or like, or 18 beers. What's more dangerous or 18, but like nine drinks on a Saturday, Friday and a Saturday or three drinks every night. I don't know. Like dangerous for your health or like dangerous as like, he might shank you or something. He might get in a fight. By the way, I'm asking for a friend. It's science. Okay.

As he lifts a scorpion bowl into frame. I thought it was a fishbowl for a second. I'm like, oh, that was perfectly planned. Why is there fire in the middle of your drink? What the fuck? I'm saying three drinks every night or nine on a Friday and Saturday, and I'm asking for a help. I mean a friend. I'm not married.

I'm asking for help. I kind of think the nine on the weekends, you're probably, that mentality, you're probably going to get into some more stupid shit after the nine. You know what I mean? Because you're going for it. Yeah. But if you got to take the edge off of every day... Smoke weed. Okay.

Well, yeah. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Okay, but that's not on the table here, Kyle. So that is a different conversation. That's a different conversation here. This is for the alcoholics in the room. I know. I'm coming back. I'm putting myself back there. It's like eight years ago. Mentally. Look, we're dealing with our problem. We'll get to your problem. Mentally, I'm 30. Okay, here we go. I'm 29. I'm 28. I'm 28. Here we go. I think you got to...

I don't know what you take the edge off every day. Why is that dangerous? Three drinks a day? Because your mentality is that you got to like take the edge off of every day of your life as opposed to like, man, the weekend's here. Let's do this. Yeah, but that seems to be more balanced to me than the nine or the what will probably be like 12 on the weekends when you go deep.

arbitrarily they are both just patterns. One is one on the week. One is the weekend and one is week every day. You are asking me for my opinion and I'm giving it to you. This is getting charged. I don't like this. But what I'm saying is that your argument is invalid because you're like, one seems like it's more something than the other, but they're both just patterns.

Right. But I'm saying what I think is more dangerous is the weekend bender and the clean on the day. I think so. Even though there's more drinks per week for the three per night. There's 21 drinks if you're doing three nights. Yeah. Because at that point, it's...

It's in your system. You're always constantly dealing with it, I think. I would say I also agree that how I drink is probably the more dangerous way of drinking because if you drink two or three drinks in a night and you go to pick up all of your children from preschool and you drive them home, then you're not really endangering them. Three drinks a night, pick them up at kindergarten? Yeah.

Yeah, what's happening? What's your timeline? What's the timeline here? Okay, well, you pick up your kids from wherever they go. Why did you have three drinks at night and then pick them up at kindergarten? What time did they get off at school? I don't know. What were the three drinks you had? Maybe it's a night school for them, too. I'm not sure. You go pick them up from a sleepover or something. You know I'm a vampire. Wait. During the week? Adam, I can't wait for you to have kids. When Adam has kids...

He's gonna be like, honey, I can't drive the kids to school tonight because I'm drunk. And she's like, it's in nine hours, Adam. Okay, fair enough. I'm not gonna be good. Fair enough. I'm not gonna be okay. You can do things is what I'm saying. You can be a responsible adult. You have nine drinks. You're not being a responsible adult on a weekend. No, I'm telling you right now. I can't get the kids.

Okay, well, you have to. I got to tell you right now. It's nine hours from now. By the way, I'm not doing nine drinks on a Friday or Saturday.

Pussy. Okay. Okay. I'm saying I'm not doing that. Okay. No one said you were. These are hypotheticals, baby. 12 to 22. Jesus. But I'm just I'm wondering if it's the weekend warrior or the like slow death of a thousand cuts. I call drinks cuts. Yeah. Cups. Cups. Death of a thousand. Death of a thousand cups. I don't know. Yes points. Yes points. Yes points.

That's very good. By the way, hey, shout out to any fraternity out there who gets 1,000 cups and fills them halfway and drinks them all. It's called the death of 1,000 cups. Send the viral video our way. All right. We're doing it. That's what we're doing on the live show. That's like Spartan Club. Get your 30 bros together and drink 1,000 half cups of course. Wait, was it the Spartan Club? What's the one where you take a drink every minute or whatever? 100 shots of beer? Yeah, the Century Club. Century Club. Yeah, that one's.

But what did you think it was called? You fucking idiot. Yeah, what is Spartan? Why is Spartan? No, you were thinking of 300. You were thinking of 300. No, I was thinking of USC, brother. No, Kyle's math is so correct. He's like, you were thinking of the movie 300. What you're thinking of? They're kind of like Spartans. Yeah. No, because this was a game that your brother played. Yeah, yeah. Adam Niewicek played a lot of these drinking games. And he would dress as the guy from 300 a lot.

They all would do that. Yes, and they would have like drinking nights where they would come out dressed as the guy from 300, Gerard Butler. They would draw abs on their bellies and they would get 300 beers and the goal was to kick bald people into pits. No, no, you get a gang of your homies to like try and finish 300 beers while you're watching the movie. That's the idea. In like 84 minutes. That's bad.

I remember we always tried to play like a little too cool. Like we were like, oh, kind of make fun of that. But then as we were doing it, we always had a fucking absolute blast doing it. Yeah. And you find the respect for the people who could pull it off. We're like, we don't need a game to drink. We can just drink and talk with each other and have fun. And then as soon as someone would start to play a game, it was like, I don't want to play this dumb game. And then as soon as you start to do it, you're after you drink 14 beers in six minutes, you're all in. Yeah. That game runs.

The respect that you find during a game of Edward Forty Hands, for example, is just you look at your forefathers and you say, wow, we walk on their shoulders. Forty Hands. Hey, all gave some, some gave all. That's what I'm saying, brother. Edward Forty Hands.

Bring your A game. I mean, is it stopping at nine beers on the weekend? No, it's not stopping at nine drinks. It never stopped at nine beers. Nine beers is like very... Nine beers is... It never stopped at nine. That's kindergarten. That's impossible. What do you mean? What time are you starting...

Well, I'm just saying, like, if you're a weekend warrior and you're actually going for it on the weekend, you're like, fucking Friday's my night, Saturday is it, and Sunday is my fucking also shit. Then you're definitely getting, like, you know, you're going home. Hey, do you want to ask someone? You could ask Blake or me. We keep talking in a hypothetical. Is this our most heated ep already? Well, Adam just chunked out because it's so heated. I don't think you're stopping at 9. I don't think you're stopping at 9. No, here's the stipulation. You're stopping at 9. If you start drinking at 9 o'clock at night...

No, not 8. Here's the stipulation. You're having three beers an hour, maybe four beers an hour. Someone flies a shot by. Maybe you have to do that shot. I think what we're saying is you drink three drinks every night to take the edge off.

Or you're getting blackout on the weekend. Like Friday and Saturday are like your shit can't. I'm not even saying you're getting blackout. I'm just saying you're having a nice, steady three-hour hammer. Okay. How do you have a three-hour hammer? I don't know that it stops like that. I just don't know that that's a – is that a thing? You're actually stopping at nine or are you just making bigger drinks?

Look at your drink. No, the mix is getting a little less. Are we talking about our drinking habits? Is that what we're talking about right now? Are we talking about my small toilet with ice in it? Yeah. That is. That's a... Is that the wolf tequila again? No, it's actually kind of a... It's an inside joke. It's pretty funny, guys. Okay, I can't wait. Years ago, I had people at a housewarming party. First got my house. I think you guys were probably there. Yeah.

Or maybe not. Yeah, we were working the party. No, no, no. You were there. Yeah. And I bought a bottle of this. It's like pre-mixed margarita. And my homies straight clowned me. They're like, you can't just make margarita on your own. It's just tequila, soda, some lime, whatever.

And I was like, no, I'm white trash. And I got this from like a Walgreens. Yeah. And so they came over today and I had to pick up a bottle of this to be like, hey, welcome to the new crib. Let's pop open some pre-mixed gas station margarita. Yeah. You can make them with just ingredients? I thought you had to have the mix to make margarita. See, this is why I need you guys in my life.

Because my other homies are like a little more cultured, a little more of this. Yuck, dude. Yeah. But I got my Ozark bros here. Yeah. I'm like, I thought you had to have the margarita mix. I wouldn't even know where to start. Adam's been known to have a curly fries garnish, and I love that about this dude. Yeah.

Come on, man. Seriously, though, what is it? What is a non-mixed tequila? What is it called? A margarita. You just have tequila. You mix it with maybe a little soda and then some lime juice. It's just lime juice, huh? And that's a margarita. And some Contra. That seems like it's not even close to sugary enough to be called a margarita. Exactly. That seems like... You're talking about the triple sec. This has like triple second. Okay. Yeah, you need to like some. So...

I learned this when I was in Mexico filming. Do you guys know what a skinny margarita is? It sounds like you just described it. It's that. Yeah, they just put less of the syrup in it. Yeah. Right. Yeah. I thought it was a brand and I was thinking of skinny girl. Shout out. Send us some money. It is a brand. Blake, are you okay?

We got a weekend warrior on our hands. It is a friend. Sorry, bro. I'm coming off a long drive. Yeah, you just drove the five, Playboy. What the fuck? Still feel like you're moving? What's your drink of choice on that drive? Dude, four loco. Come on, man. Oh.

You have to have the energy to make it down the grapevine, for sure. To make it down. Because if you do a monster energy drink, you might freestyle rap the entire way. You've got to make it down. That's true, yeah. No, I did a little Red Bull doggy, sugar-free Red Fool. A Red Fool? A Red Bull. Dude, we're coming on fire right now. This is a fire-ass pod. Did you say coming? Wait, did you say coming? This is a fire-ass pod. Coming on fire? It's a bagel. Oh, my God!

It's the best. It's the freaking best. Firehouse pod. That's something.

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I got to see Kyle in person. That was pretty neat. I saw some photos. I hate to go back to this well that we keep diving back into, but I saw some photos of Pickleball over there at the Newichek residence. Oh, yeah. And it looked like Blake was getting schooled. Well, it's his first game. It's his first game. That was his first one-on-one match. I know, but he was playing you. I'll let Kyle tell his truth if he wants, and then we can get into the nitty-gritty of it.

Wow. Sure, sure. Yeah. My truth. His truth. My truth. You want to just say the one-on-one game, right? That sounds like he thinks you're lying. No, you were good, Blake. Blake was good. For the first time there, he really latched on to the rules. I was surprised at how strategic you were. It was cute, Blake. Like how quickly you understood the rules and how quickly you understood how to play. There's nine rules. Let's dive in here. So you think that Blake is dumb? Well, no. I was reminded of his true athleticism.

You know, I think of him as a theater nerd. I think of him as a theater major. I forget. And I make fun of him when he's like in on the sports. It's well documented that he's a natural specimen. I do forget that Blake was a theater major from Long Beach. I do forget that sometimes. And then when you get him on the court, like we used to play sports all the time. I haven't done that in a while. And now it's like...

Bro, he's in it. But have you seen this guy's bod? I mean, it's... I know. We're skipping. We're jumping headlines here. Of course, but you can have like... You know, that can all be like... What's it? Cosmetic? Vanity. It's vanity muscles. It's a lot of vanity muscles. By the way, is this... You go... It could be muscles. The looks...

He could be a scarecrow. Is it like the Hans and the Krons? It's like, you know how your shoulders get super pointy, right? Look at this. Look how strong I am, bro. Batman. You know, he could be wearing the Legion of Doom shoulder pads. He could be the fifth member of GWAR. I don't know.

But you did, you had me on my heels on that game. You did. You did take the lead for about two or three points, and you got fucking shook.

Once the cameras came out. Okay, here's his truth. Okay, so you want to know, and I'm sorry, TII Nation, that we're talking about Pickleball again. I'm going to go for five minutes. Maybe when this closes the chat. I'm sorry that we keep saying his truth because nothing bothers me more. So you're saying he's lying.

When someone says that's their truth, you're going like, well, this person is a liar. That's a lie. It's a nice way of saying that's a lie. Kind of, right? Well, no, not necessarily. No, it's how he saw that game. So perspective. Perspective is a better. It's his truth. So my perspective. Yeah, that's the better way. Yes, your perspective. My perspective. That's a better descriptor. Is this like the Rashomon of pickleball?

A little bit. Yeah, we're going to play it back. Okay, so what's the score here? Who won? Who won the game? Kyle won the game. I won the game. Okay. Who won the war? And there was actually an asterisk. Oh, yeah, because I was giving him two serves. An asterisk. Well, that's such a minor detail. I gave him two fucking serves the whole game, and then he decided to like... Okay, go ahead. Tell your shit. What do you got? Oh, shit. Because we were really playing. So we played a couple... Tell your truth, Blake. Okay.

Sipping tea with Adam D. Thank you, Adam. Asterix. So I, um, you know, we played three games of doubles. It was like me and my pal Adam versus Kyle and Teddy, friend of the pod, Leather Man Adam. The Leather Boy. Say their full names and addresses. Teddy Spencer, Adam Awan, Adam Awan, Custom Leather. Look about getting a belt. Get your custom leather goods. Get the Merce. And, uh,

Adam and I never won a game against Kyle and Teddy, but then before I had to leave them. It also seems like you guys are just going to be the worst team. Kyle and Teddy are way bigger than both of you guys. A lot of wings, man. Teddy also seems like a guy that might have also gotten deep into pickleball. Right.

Yeah, Teddy and I play like a lot. How's Teddy's body? Teddy's body's good. Really tight. I bet it is. I'll say this about Adam and Wanda and myself. We are finesse people. We have touch. Kyle and Teddy are like bruisers. They're like clunky, man. Like Adam and I were made to be good at this game.

And this is our first time playing, and we were kind of talking shit. So we're like, we can beat you right out the gate. You guys did great. And I will say, especially Awan. Shout out to Awan Custom Leather, bro. Get your custom leather, dude. He was running. He was running. He's got a pickleball.

What is it? A mallet? A racket? Oh, man. Like a holster. You gotta start making holsters. You should have heard Kyle's fucking pickleball trash talk. He was kind of pissing me off. Like, when I first roll up, I get the racket. I'm like, there's no thing that goes to your wrist that attaches to your wrist. What is this? Nintendo Wii? A Wii controller?

Yeah, and Kyle's like, what is this, a Wii? I'm like, bro, they're on racquetball rackets as well. It's just something that should be on this type of racket because you're swinging it and you might let it go into a child's face or something. It's crazy. I didn't even know that was trash talk. I was just fucking saying it. Does your child have a face? After Adam and I lost...

Was it a three? Did we go three? I think you guys maybe won one because we went three. I think you guys won the second game. I don't know that we did. I don't think we did. I think we just ran it back. But then I'm like, okay, Kyle, let me play a one-on-one game because I want to experience pickleball in its raw form of one-on-one. It's a hard sport at that point. And we were going back and forth, and the tide started to turn where I –

I got tired. He got tired and I took the lead. But also that is how Blake would beat you, just with athleticism. Yes. Play enough games. Conditioning. Conditioning. Conditioning, yes. Endurance. Yes. I was really huffing. I was huffing and puffing out there. Yes. Like it was...

Because we were running back and forth. It's a lot of trying. Admittedly, the little bit I saw, I was like, I can't do this. My knees would explode. Just watching the few moves that I saw from that very short clip. Because by the way, out of all the pickleball we've talked, I haven't bothered to look it up one time.

Yes. Oh, cool. Yeah. I haven't looked at a YouTube video. I don't really know. I can imagine it, but I didn't realize there'd be that much starting and stopping. Cause that's a little bit because I'm not great at the game yet. And I don't know to like, not,

run as much but I also kind of wanted to run my natural athletic instinct I want to move I want to go you can make up for it by running yeah but like playing smartly so like you're having the other person run yeah so I could do it without my knees not exploding because here's what I play my buddy's dad and I've said this before one on one like probably once a week what's his full name and address please well he's call him spank alright

Okay. I've never heard him call that. And by the way, this is a whole other thing about why I love being part of your guys' world because everyone I grew up with was Mr. and Mrs. and this is a guy named Spank. Okay. All right. I love it. It's cool. It's different. It's fun. Yeah. No, but he's like 70 years old and I have not beat him once.

And I've played him. Is he wearing sleeves? I don't know. But also, is this guy conditioned? Is he like a spank, like kind of a jock? Yeah, he used to be like almost an Olympic fencer. Yes. Oh, okay. So he's got footwork. He's got that footwork down. And he played tennis. He's a tennis. He knows tennis. So if you know tennis, you're like, you're doing, you're halfway there. Yeah. Oh, sick shirt jersey. My face is an awesome face. Bro, are your pecs? Have you been working out your pecs or what? Look at those pecs.

Those things are pointing through the roof. By the way, if I freeze like this. Can I tell my truth or what? Yeah, go ahead. I thought you did. No, I wasn't there yet. So I got Kyle to game point. I was up. It was 10-8. All you have to do is get to 11. Do you get to win by two? Yes, you do. Blake, I want you to know this story is worse than any luggage talk we've ever done.

And tech talk. Any other talk that we've done. This is just as bad. I actually think all of the talk that we've done is riveting and we make great radio. No, sir. I don't like it. Blake, the truth. I'm just saying, don't shit on luggage talk next time we want to talk about luggage. Fair, fair. It's 10-8 and Kyle's back is to the fuck. I'm about to beat Kyle. I'm about to beat Kyle. This is my first time ever playing pickleball. This dude has invested...

his whole adult life into it. I'm up, I'm up. That's true, that's true. Dude, Kyle starts to be like, you know, I can tell he's like sad. Like he's going to be really, really fucking sad if I beat him. It's at his house. Kyle would be a little sad. It's at his house. He's invested about 14 pod episodes into it. If I came in here and I was like, I played Kyle,

And I just beat his ass. Yeah. Are you going to take your truth where I think you're going to take it? What the fuck are you setting up for, bitch? No, I will say. Let him speak his truth. What is it? I didn't let off the gas. I didn't not play harder. But in my mind, I was like, man, it's really going to hurt my homies feelings if I beat him right here, right now on the home court. So you think subconsciously you maybe flicked the wrist the wrong way once or twice?

Lick of the wrist. I love that you think like, yeah, what are you saying? You did actually do something that is the asterisk that I was talking about because on day one of Pickleball, I always let people fucking...

serve twice because it's hard to serve. So if you miss it, you get a second chance, you get a mulligan. And this was Blake's first day on the pickleball court. So he was serving double every time he missed. I would let him do that. - Not on our solo game. - On the solo game we did until the moment when you got close to beating and you were like, nah, fuck that. And I was like, okay,

Okay. And then I fucking stomped your ass. And then I charged and I fucking stomped your ass. Did you send it? I guarantee you get me back on that court.

I'm coming away three games to 0. Hey, Blake, the way you put it, the confidence behind your voice, I'm betting on you, my man. Give yourself some theme music. If you get me on that court. One more time for everyone who definitely didn't understand that. My friends just visited, and they had a medal away back. Thank you, God. Thank you, God. Go ahead, yes. A medal. What is it now? A medal. This is Logan Shaw.

We have a metal rolling suitcase. It was beautiful. It's by a way. I think it's relatively priced. I'll tell you this. I don't know what it's priced, but I guarantee you it's a steal. Oh, man. Wow. Okay. Hold on. I'm looking for it. Points. Points. All right. And you know what? I think Pickleball is awesome. We can put it to bed after that. Yeah. I mean, I'm down to put some money on our next game. Hey, Blake.

I love betting like that shit. I love it. He loves betting like that shit. I love betting like that shit, bro. He loves betting like that shit. I love your guys' love for this game that I've yet to play or even look up. We should start a professional team. Yeah. Right?

No doubt. Well, also, if we play two on two doubles ever, I got Blake and we'll whoop your ass for a hefty sum. That's actually what I haven't thought about is we should combine our powers. What are you saying? You and Blake versus me and Adam? Yeah, and we'll whoop your ass for a hefty sum. You guys are the only two that have played. I'm the one with bad knees who can't move laterally. Yeah.

So I don't know. I'll have Adam play the net. Is that how it works? Is there like one up front, one on the back? You can do that. You can play that. You can play that. But all I know is me and Blake will whoop your ass for a hefty sub. We're going to whoop your ass. You want to go Midwest versus the Bay? And you know what? And I'm going to guarantee the three –

We're going to beat you a few times. Yeah, we are. Thank you for putting it so clearly. We're going to beat you a few times. If we haven't already, let's cut to commercials.

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Hey, welcome back, everybody. We're back. Just switching gears a little bit. How is everybody? We meant every word of that commercial, by the way. All right. Yeah, we love it. Yeah, there's nothing better than that product we just talked about. Yeah, we meant every word. Big thank you to our sponsors everywhere. Did you guys see that fish I caught? Oh, yeah. Whoa.

Yeah, that was a big bitch, wasn't it? It was huge, dude. What the freaking hell happened? That's a huge bitch. I know, it's nuts. That's a huge fish. I went out with my buddy Jason. Came down to visit and he was like, dude, let's go fishing. So I got a little charter company to take us out. And this dude, Austin, took us out. They're red drums. They normally are like 5x4s.

I mean, that's the name of the fish that you could be. Yeah, it's a fish. And 15 or 20 pounds would be a big one. This motherfucker was like 40, 45 pounds. And then what do you is this a toss back or is this a cook it up? Yeah, we tossed it back. I'm sure we could have kept it. But did you kiss it? We're like, I'll see you around. Yeah. What'd you do? Did I kiss that one? No, I didn't kiss that one. That's like as heavy as my three year old.

Yeah, dude. That's wild. Huge. It was just this monster and his head was gigantic. Yeah. It looked terrifying. It was cool because that was like we went out and we caught those right away. And then when we went back into town, I was so excited and I posted it. And then every restaurant and bar we would go into, like a bartender would give me like a that's a great fish compliment. Really?

Really? That's the best feeling in the world is to get great fish compliments. Is it? You have found that that's the greatest compliment you can get? How did they see it? On Instagram. I know, but did the charter repost it or does everyone in that town follow you? Oh, yeah. I'm assuming all these people follow me on Instagram. That's kind of cool. Hey! And everybody's on Instagram. It wasn't old bartenders. It was people our age or younger.

Well done. Well done. Well done. I actually follow you on Instagram and I saw the fish you reeled in. It was a crazy move to post that to your grid and not your story. Yeah. I can't believe you hard posted that. That's cool, bro.

Next time, maybe put it on a reel. There is a weird science to what you post. I didn't even realize that. It's science. To post on Story or The Grid, but I'm like, this should stay up there, man. I want people to see this fish. Yeah. Did anybody like take a cool Polaroid of you or something? You need a hard copy of that. Where are we going? I just feel like when you catch a big fish, you got to have a Polaroid of it. That's like insane.

Isn't that like tradition? I like this rule. And Blake, when are you fishing? It seems like you've never been fishing before. By the way, when I'm speaking up and being like, do you see that huge fish? None of you guys were like, well, is that cool? It seems like we don't have a lot of fishermen in our group.

I don't give a fuck. What's up? Wait, what's up? Are any of you guys fishermen? I've been fishing. I don't fish. I do not fish, but I've been fishing. I went fishing three years ago, fly fishing. I've been fishing. Okay. I've never been fly fishing. Would love to do it. I have done the deep sea halibut thing and the rainbow trout thing. Okay. I think you would love it. It's like the pickleball of fishing. Well-

I'm in. I think I would like it too. It seems like a lot of work though. It's not. It isn't. No, you put on the cool pants and then you just go, and then you just fucking catch it. Well, that sounds great. The waiters, it's just waiters, right? Yeah. Yeah. Those shits look fucking sick. Don't you have to like watch out for bears or something? Like, isn't it like a little more deep? It's like a little more deep forest. Not for me. I don't.

Yeah, you put on the waders, you feel like Kanye West in the fashion world these days, and you catch some fish. Okay, I like that. But I've never been out. You were on the ocean, right, Adam? No, it was kind of the very opening of the harbor, so we were still right off the jetties. So we were in the ocean, but not like- Salt water, okay. Yeah, not way out there. I don't think I've ever done that.

That's what I've done. I did halibut, like I mentioned. And you know that halibut, I believe, have their two eyes on one side of their face. Blake Anderson, everyone. Is it real? So they got no eyes because they lay on the ground. Yes. And their fucking eyes are on one side. That's fucking tight. Is that right? Yes. Yeah. Some fish have two eyes on one side. That's nuts. Yeah. They live on the bottom.

of the ocean yeah that is correct they're a flat fish they're ugly they're ugly son of a bitch but they're good eating i'll tell you what yeah we gotta we gotta all get go fishing that was the joke oh wait can i say this joke uh adam uh sorry i just heard kyle has a joke he wants to get on yeah so when we went fishing when we went fishing for halibut they would say like hey so why'd you guys go fishing today and we'd all have to say just for the halibut

Yes, points! Thank you very much. I'll be here. Goodbye.

And let's cut to another commercial. Wow, the silence there was really, really good, you guys. You guys must have worked on that. Did you guys get together before the pod and be like, you know what, we're going to let him fall on his face in front of everybody? It's weird because no one saw the punchline coming. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Definitely saw. Oh, you did? Yeah.

Oh, you got it. Oh, you got it. Coming down the pipe. Yeah. The pipe or the pike? Pike. Well, a pike is a fish, right? Ugh.

no a pike is a type of fish all right let's talk about this when i wasn't here i didn't know adam fuck off get my polaroid ready it doesn't seem like you do but hey blake was rolling around with an old disposable camera when he was at my crib this weekend that's right by the way they're very expensive little kodak they're 30 bucks this little throwaway zero yeah dude uh why because they don't make them anymore i

think but also it's like uh anybody who wants to buy this fuck you yeah yeah you're like they don't want to make these anymore they're like all right fine but it's gonna be 30 you douche and you go yeah all right i can't wait to see what it costs to develop it that's what i'm saying i bet it's a hell of expensive well i bought one too uh i i don't remember how much it was i bought an insurance

Oh, I wonder if theirs is a little... Yeah, exactly. And you got to wind it up. Was it the waterproof one? Dude, when I went to summer camp, it was like, you knew who was rich based on what kind of disposable camera they had. That's true. I had like the Walgreens, like bullshit ass whatever. Yeah, the green and white. And then some homies had like the waterproof in cage Kodak where you're like... The plastic covering. Huh?

Whoa. Dude, I don't even know that that's something that's real. Right. None of my friends had any money, so I never even saw that. Dude, yours can go underwater. If my pockets get wet and my camera's in there, it's fucked. So crazy. So just...

Yeah, that's crazy. And that was... No one had a phone. No flash. And everyone had one of those. Like, everyone at a party, there was just like 40 of those around. Right. Yeah, it was crazy. I've been to a wedding within the last 10 years where they just had a gang of those around for people to grab and take pictures. Yeah. Which seems like a good idea if you have the right...

and a horrible idea if everyone in your wedding party is just like, I'm going to take 10 pictures of my nipples right now in the bathroom. Yeah, that was the wedding that I just went to, my buddy Zach's wedding that I went to a few weeks ago. They had one, a Polaroid, and so then you would see him at the end of the night, and it was just a ton of people.

of buttholes. Like a lot. A lot of men's, I'm assuming men's buttholes. You got to charge the flash for those picks. Yeah, it was like buttholes and nut sacks and a lot of like manginas. Your boobs are huge.

Kind of cool. Yeah, that's pretty cool. You never know what you're going to get. Well, that's the other thing. No, you know you're going to get some buttholes. Charge the flash, stick it down there. You never know what you're going to get. You kind of know you're going to get some buttholes. You know exactly what you're going to get. Buttholes. 30 pictures of buttholes. Yes, the degree of blurriness is going to vary on each butthole, but you know what I'm saying. I wonder if it was like two...

dude friends going into the bathroom stall together being like, this is going to be so hilarious, dude. You hold this camera. I won't.

I spread my ass cheeks. I wonder what that conversation was like. That was exactly like you just had it. Yeah. You just did it. That's weird. That's a weird moment with two friends. Hey, kiss me on this next one, dude. This is going to be so funny. You're just alone in a bathroom together while your friend is spreading his ass cheeks. Pull my pants down for me. Pull my pants down real quick. I'm holding two drinks. Pull my pants down real quick. I'm going to squeeze my nut sack and make it look like a brain.

Okay, all right. Either at your ankles. Oh, what is that, a boner? Dude, take my photo. Let's take a picture of it. Better yet, kiss it? Very good.

Oh, and then I'll take a picture. I'll do a selfie with me and you kissing it. 69, dude! I'll do a selfie with like, I'm trying to put it all in my mouth. Yeah, that'd be funny. No, but like a picture of that. Yeah, take a picture of that. Yeah, it's for their wedding. It'd be funny as shit. Yeah, we're celebrating. For their wedding. Show how much we love them. Dude, fuck it. Throw up that shit and take a picture now. Dude. Hold on. I gotta wind it up. Fuck.

It's still winding. What does that mean? Oh, it's an out of picture. There's no more pictures. You do it all after nothing. Damn. Real quick, take a picture of your teeth mowing my pubes. Go for it. Take a picture. Take a picture. There's no more. I'll just do it. I'll just do it. There's no more pictures, but I'll just do it. Actually, go get a champagne bottle. You shove that up your ass while you suck my dick.

Wait, we're out of pictures. I know, but like still pretty funny. It's okay. It'll be so funny, dude. It'll be so funny. Just do it. Maybe we keep it a secret. Dude, it's our secret. Maybe no picture and we don't tell anyone. It's our funny secret. It's our funny secret. This is a prank. You're being punked. Dude, I got you.

Wait, I'm being punked, but you're blowing me. All right, fuck it. I'm punking myself. Bend over. Hey, you're never going to believe what just happened in the bathroom. I blew Blake, dude, as a prank. Isn't that good? Isn't that fucking hilarious? I'm in the back like, shit. We were looking for you guys for 10 minutes. You have the rings. Hot, hot, hot, hot.

Actually, you're not going to be able to get that back for a few hours. I don't want to know. The ring is gone. Sorry, the ring is gone. Where is it? Let's just say it came off. Where could it have gone? Adam Devine presents...

Oh my god. You've been way-ooed. You've been way-ooed. Oh my god. Dude, I would host that. I would host a show called Way-ooed. What's up, everybody? Welcome to Way-ooed. The show where you hook up with your friend you've wanted to fuck for years.

But it's gotta be under the briefcase of a joke. It doesn't need to just be French fucking friends. Okay, but maybe episode one? Yeah, hey, it's his name. I mean, that's the meat and potatoes of the show, for sure, but... Meat? Okay, great. But, you know, the whale can go a lot of different ways. It's also basically a failed video, you know? Okay, now look at the camera and say, we've been wait-o'd. Wait-o'd?

Way-o. Way-o. Way-o. You know, I really like it. Season three, people are going to be like, I really liked it. Like, obviously, the mean potatoes is friends fucking other friends. Friends finally fucking friends. But I also kind of like it when a grandma falls down a stair, you know? Yeah, that was pretty way-o. Yeah, that's also pretty way-o. Trying to fuck her longtime friend. Am I on way-o right now?

Am I on Wayo? Wait a second. Am I on Wayo? Am I on Wayo right now? No. By the way, a huge letdown. You blow your friend being like, cameras are coming out. Let me get it. I'm Wayo. No, bro. You take the load. He's like, what? And you go, there's not a Wayo? Dude, I'm being Wayo'd. I know I am. Wayo. Where are the cameras? I'm being Wayo'd. What are you talking about? I love you. Yeah, no. I just figured...

I love you. Hey, I love you too. Let's go back to the wedding. I'm holding the rings. Like a love and like a way-o. Yeah, like a way-o kind of a way, you know? I love you no way-o. I love you no way-o. Yeah, no, I love you too. We gotta go back to the wedding. We gotta go. I have to give him the rings. I wouldn't have done that. I thought I was on way-o. My kids are...

My kids are cutting the cake. I gotta go. Dude, this is your wedding. Exactly. I gotta go. I know. I'm up. Jesus. That's why I thought I was on whale. I'm up, bro. Wait a second. Wait a second. Are you gonna... Is it whale as soon as I get out there? It's not. It's not whale? Alright, well, then I'm gonna take a shit. I was gonna...

I'm gonna take a shit. If you wouldn't mind getting out of here, I really can't take a shit. By the way, I thought this bit couldn't get worse. It got worse. Alright, we'll get out of here. I gotta take a shit. Yeah, no, I know. You farted. I need privacy. I could smell that. I could tell you've been farting the whole time. Yeah. I need privacy right now. I ate some weird stuff. You're farting the whole time. Okay, I gotta take a shit. I need privacy. Okay, cool, cool. I need privacy, so get the fuck out of here. Wait, leave the codec. Leave the codec.

But then right as he walks out of the bathroom stall. I'm going to get back to my wedding. Right after he walks out of the bathroom stall, it's just that you see a friend holding up a camera over the bathroom stall. And then he goes, whale. Digital. And that's our digital wing of whale. Yeah. Yeah. The Instagram account.

And at the end of Wayo the show, it's like you too can be part of the Wayo family. Send this P.O. box like 20 bucks. We send you a camera and you go to your college campus. And it's a pyramid scheme. It really builds itself. You get three people to work under you. They get six people each. And everybody gets Wayo'd. Everybody gets Wayo'd. Dude, I'm actually doing this thing called Wayo'd right now. I think you'd really like it. Take your pants off real quick.

What do you mean? If you get three people to take your pants off, trust me. Look, you blow me, then you get three people to blow you, and they have to be close friends. They have to be best friends.

And two of them will premiere on like on way. Oh, digital. The guys are going to be on way. Oh, digital. Okay. I get it now. Oh, three. Oh, three friends blow me. Yeah, no, no, no doubt. So we're all getting blown by our friends and making money. Yeah. That's not a whale. It's a whale of life. Okay. No way. Okay.

What a come down. Tell me it's time for take backs. Nope, not yet. It's got to be time for a commercial. JK, JK, don't cut to one. Cool, bro.

Yeah, someone fishing. That was fun. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, I haven't seen you since the wedding. That's cool. You went fishing. You caught a big one. I saw that. I caught a big one, yeah. Bartenders are like, that was one of the biggest fish I've ever seen. I blow my friends because I'm unhappy. I'm sorry, Mama.

Oh, here's a weird thing. You're like reading Google News headlines. Here's a weird thing. A woman who weighs 800 pounds. No, Isaac, our manager, called me the other day and was like, dude, I just got the weirdest call. And he goes, I just got a call from Eminem's manager and the president of Interscope Records.

What's that guy's name? Who's on the records and stuff? I don't know who he talked to. Isn't he notoriously on the voicemail where they're like, Em, you can't put that on the record. No, that's his manager. That's Paul...

Yeah, yeah. Rosenstein, Lee, right? Yeah, yeah. But didn't Adam just say Eminem's manager? Yeah, I think so. That's what Isaac told me. Oh, I thought you said your manager. I thought you said, oh, cool. No, Isaac. So he got this phone call, whatever his name was. Yeah, maybe. Yeah, so we just want to connect Adam again with Eminem and Dr. Dre. Okay. And Isaac goes, oh, hell yeah. Yeah, for sure. Oh, Adam Levine. This is Adam Levine's story, right? No, no, no, no, no.

and then he goes okay okay totally and then it's like what uh what is this in regards to and he goes well obviously adam uh was in the slim shady music video um with dr dre and we want to connect them together right because there's a photo out there of a guy that looks

Kind of like me that's maybe 10 years older than me right better Yes, where people always send to me going dude is this you and I think maybe one time I wrote cool flashback photo of me flashback Friday or some bullshit that it's not me Oh is this from like the the I I'm the real swim TV or the video and it all look like like movie video words or where there was a ton of Slim Shady's dude like at least 30

There were so many Slim Shadys. It was like, who is the real Slim Shady? You didn't know. They're all wearing white t-shirts. They all got bleach blonde hair. Yeah. And none of them actually stood up. Do you think those guys stay in touch? Are they still like, dude, did you make it to the reunion last year? Like, I couldn't. We just had a kid. I don't know. Part of me was like...

Isaac told the truth right away and was just like... I had anal cancer. Couldn't make it. Oh, no. He wasn't in that. Adam was in like sixth grade. And...

You're pissed at him? I'm pissed. I would have been like, let's keep this prank going a little bit, and then I could just whip out a camera and say, you've been whaled. I'm pissed now. That's a whale, dude. That's a whale on Dre. You start blowing Dre, and you're like... Yeah, do you see the photo right there? Yeah, yeah. I mean, to the right, I'm, like, touching my chest. I'm, like, cupping my titty. Everyone at home, we're looking at the photo right now. Yeah, yeah. You know, you could find it.

Wait, so what was their idea for you? I don't know. And the conversation just stopped. Dr. Dre just wanted to say, like, cool. I'm assuming they wanted to do, like, another, like, little video or sketch or some shit. Am I crazy? Will you look at all the faces of these guys? Is it a little bit kind of like... What? What?

Like what? I'm looking at him, so I'm not looking at you. It looks like one dude's about to weo. Did you freeze? Are these dudes a little too cute? What's going on here? Yeah, it looks a little weo. None of these guys are cute. What are you talking about? Suddenly we were talking so much about blowing your friends that now you think all these men are cute? This isn't a cute batch of men. Yeah, we're on a different track. We switched our little track over. I see a little Ryan Lochte here.

I see a little... Okay, so we know he does it for you. What do you mean by that? You think they're actors. Is that what you're saying? Well, they are. It's a casting call for sure. It's a casting call. You don't think they're real deal slim-shaded fanatics? These are not slim-shaded. No, no, no.

These are not Eminem. I disagree. I think that a couple of them are diehards. I feel like the true Slim Shady fans are a little grittier. Sure, sure, sure. You are way out of pocket. What I'm saying is these guys look a little like boy bandy than more like

into hip-hop. Am I correct here? But the whole point was just to have a lot. No, they just got a bunch of cat extras and asked them, are you willing to bleach blonde your hair to be in this video? Yeah, this was a visual thing. I know, but look at their faces. Look at their faces. But you don't have to be a fan of Eminem or Dr. Dre to actually be in this picture. I'm going to remind you of that. You don't have to. They were paid.

Yeah, true. They were pissed. Right. So what are you thinking? Yes. Also, I don't think they're necessarily as sexy as Ders is. Ders is really disappointed. Yeah.

I think these people could very easily be Eminem fans. I don't think they're too hot to be Eminem fans or whatever your weird stance. I don't think his crowd was as gully as you thought. I think... What is his album? Carnival? Carnival.

Circus. That's T-Pain, I think. What's he got? Like an album called Circus or some shit? That's Britney Spears. I don't know. I never... The Eminem show. I don't know if I listened to an Eminem album in my life, but... I thought you went through a whole phase when we were in Workaholics. I thought you fucking were like, okay, I'm listening to every Eminem.

album to see what I missed and to see if I understand it. And you didn't. I listened to the Marshall Mathers LP. Right. Right. Right. Okay. And that's got like cleaning out my closet. Probably. Seems real. Yeah. What's the, what I would have to see. And then I think maybe I started the one with like the curtains on the front and I was like, that has Stan. That's the Eminem show. Yes. Yeah. Like talented rapper. Not for me. Marshall Mathers has Stan. It has the real Slim Shady.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Darius has a weird stance about M&M's. I'd like to apologize to you guys for last week because I was very hot and I was bothered because I didn't have the air conditioning on in my office.

And I just, tonight, figured out how to turn it on. Very good, Kyle. All right. Oh, so it wasn't anyone's fault. It was you didn't know how to turn it on. It was very ironic in the same episode where I was giving you thermostat advice. B-R-O-G. Did you find it? Yes. Yeah. Well, it was a hidden... It's a remote that has a fucking slide down, bro. So it looks like there's like three buttons. Yeah.

And then you, you know, I'm like, I can't do anything with this. And then you slide down the, you slide down the secret window. What was that, Blake? One more time? Yeah. Uh-uh. Do you want to lead apologies? Go for it. Yeah. I'm glad you figured that out. Thanks, man.

I would like to give a special super shout out to Kyle for showing me the ways of pickleball, baby. Thanks for running me around. Hey, I'm sore in the buns too. I played three more days. Quick question. Did I miss an episode last week?

You did. Yeah, you missed an episode. How'd it go? I don't know. Really, really good. Seamless. Yeah. It was kind of like an intervention of me. You'll see. You'll hear it. Yeah, you'll hear it. I won't. I don't listen. Oh, yeah. Well, good. I listen. I listen every once in a while. You'll hear it. It was good. I think it was good. Yeah, you talked it. I'm sure. I'm just wondering. Yeah, you can see it in the comments if you liked it. And I don't really have any take backs or apologies this ep. I feel like I'm standing behind everything that I said this episode.

And how's that feel? Pretty good. But you do have a dead ringer, this guy from the M&M. Yeah. The dead ringer is this guy from the Dr. Goof. How did we start dead ringers? Oh, my God. I got a lot of dead ringers. There's a lot of dummies that look like me. Yeah. Well, I guess that was another episode of Elephant. This is important. We'll be right back.

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