Ep 98: What Base is Butt Eating?
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Welcome to This is Important, a production of iHeartRadio, the show where we only talk about what's the most important, bottom line, critical thing happening on this planet. Today on This is Important. Now that I've eaten your butt, I would love to have a kiss. Hello, last time I checked, Jesus makes water into wine. Hello. Yeah, dude, I fucking jack blasted Craig. Have you ever eaten butt to Trop House music, though?

Buckle up. Hit it. Oh, okay. Okay. Welcome back to This is Important. This week, we're celebrating Trop House. Tropical house music. Man. Yeah. I'm very excited. I'm very happy. I just taught.

I just taught my friends something about music, which I don't know if I've ever done. Mr. Music. Usually they're the ones that tell me about new music. I'm usually pretty bad. I only know bands that were popular between 1994 and 2004. Yeah, true. That was your decade. Adam, you just put me on.

I just told them about Trop House. Trop House. Trop House. This is tropical house mashup music. That's what we were just playing, and the vibe is fucking hella good, dude. So last year, we went to a PGA Tournament event.

on Kauai Island here in South Carolina and me and McBride and a bunch of people. And we somehow got hooked up with Kygo's manager, manager miles, big shout out to manager miles. Uh,

A good dude. And he put me on to, he was like, Kygo. I didn't know much about Kygo. I've since now I know more. And he was telling me that it's called Trap House Music. And evidently Kygo was one of the first people, if not the first people to kind of do this. He's a founder of Trap House. Trap House Music.

wow so is that that's kind of the vibe it's kind of like uh what w hotel lobby just like fucking kicking it chill it's like chill it's you're on vacation you know it just is kind of like it's it's vacation uh burn burn yeah it's slam what's the vert yeah it's like music for a hotel lobby right like if you're in an elevator maybe what is that bad it can be those are

vibe. No, no, that's just a vibe that exists. Oh, hello. I feel like the most relaxed I ever am is in a W Hotel lobby. Really? I hate the W Hotel lobby. What? I think they're fine if they want to give me some free nights somewhere. That's fine, but come on. But you can't deny that W would be playing stuff like that. That is what you're going to be

here oh yeah they've come around i won't deny that i know i can't deny it i die you're right i'm just i'm astonished you guys don't fuck with the w hotel lobby vibe i'm not on the the i love this vibe

I've been listening to like chill music 2022 chill summer these are the playlists you know what I don't like it it's they play it's a little too loud when you walk into a hotel where the music's just a little too loud already I go volume this is gonna be a problem we're not talking volume here's my problem with W hotels is they're fun if you were going if it's like a bachelor party weekend or something and it's like you're there just a just a party my life is a bachelor party pfft

101 Master Parties. It's just you and your dudes and it's just you're throwing down. But I, my first stand-up tour

It's exhausting. You're on the road for like a month straight. You're doing shows every night. You need to get a good night's rest at the end of the night because you're going to be on a plane the next morning. It's very hectic. Isaac put me up in W hotels. So every night I'm at a W hotel. You can never, you turn on a light switch and it'll just be like a neon light that says like party o'clock or whatever it says above your bed. And you're just like, I can't even see to like get water in the middle of the night.

Because you'll flip on light and it'll just be some ambient glow behind a mirror. And you're like, well, that doesn't help me wash my face in the morning. And that's Adam's major priority is what helps him wash his face. All the body lotion has glitter. All the body lotion has glitter in it. Yeah, the body lotion just is covered in glitter. Oh, my God. What the fuck, bro? I'm sorry. Honey, did you go to the strip club? No, I swear to God, babe. I just put on some body lotion.

And then she starts going through your receipts and finds like, oh, you were at the W. Okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Okay. I didn't should have said you were at the W. That's a vibe. You were at the W. That's a vibe. That's a trop house vibe. Trop house. I'm all about it. So, but they do a thing. The Palm tree festival. I want to, I think it's called WTF where they have like a big festival. Kygo performs. And then they have like Jimmy Buffett perform and stuff. See now this I'm, I'm,

I'm kind of liking this. Yeah. Well, of course. Jimmy Buffett is like one of the best vibes of all time if you're talking drop. Do, do, do, do.

He's the original vibe. If we're talking Tromp. He's the original Tromp. If you're talking Tromp vibes. Yeah, that's the guy. Does he come out? Do they do a little set together? That could get pretty crazy. I don't know. I've not been to this festival. I've just seen it. Since now, I follow the manager, Miles, in Kygo now. I am intrigued. What's it called? Palm Tree Festival? I believe so, yeah.

I'm intrigued, man. We got to go. Yeah, I could see Buffett up there. Buffett up there just soaking in the fucking sun, talking about cheeseburgers in paradise. You know what I mean? Pencil thin mustache. I got two cheeseburgers in paradise. Not the song. That's the song. That's it. And guess where it is. Guess where it takes place.

My guess is Miami. Fort O'Keys. It takes place in the most trop house place you'll ever... Ozarks. Is it Lake of the Brozarks? It's Fort O'Keys.

Nope. Is it Miami? No, it's got to be somewhere where people... Hawaii? Is it in America? Is it in North America? Is it the Bahamas? I don't think so. Okay, so it's Bahamas. Ibiza? He doesn't think so. It's got to be Ibiza. But that was a great answer, Durst. If this was Family Feud, that's up there. Is it Ibiza? I thought it was Ibiza. Ibiza.

Either way, it's not there. You want the answer? Give us another hint. Give us another hint. Don't you say it. Marshalltown, Iowa. Marshalltown, Iowa. Wow.

Shout out Marshalltown. It's in none other than Croatia, baby. Oh, wait. What just happened? Well, see, this might be the next one because they had one, I swear, in Miami. I think they're just doing a different festival every three months or whatever. Dude, what is up with Croatia? Can we talk about it, please? What do you mean? I have no idea. What is up with it? I got a homie there right now. What is up with it? It looks...

So sick. It's supposed to be beautiful. What do you mean? What's up with it? Yeah, it's supposed to be a beautiful, awesome place. Yes, it looks gorgeous. I'm just Googling it and I'm like getting a boner over here. I don't know anything about it. I've never Googled Croatia before. Neither have I. Dude, that's why the movie The Crow is so dope because it was based like... Oh, no shit. I almost did a pretty bad movie on the sole purpose that I was going to shoot it in Croatia. I was really like, no, I think maybe we should do this.

This place looks insane. Where is this now? Dude, I have never looked this place up. It's right by. Talk to me, Blake. It's bordered by Slovenia and Hungary and Bosnia. Who's hungry? Wow.

Wow. I wonder if we could get a deal with the W Hotel chain to do the podcast live at their exotic locations like Croatia. Do you think they have a Croatia? Happy to be there. W Croatia? Well, hey, W Hotels as a brand, I hope they do.

Yeah. They've got reach. I hope they do. And you know what? I take it back. If I'm there just to party, if it's to go with you guys and we're just going to go and we're going to party, we're going to do the podcast and just have a great time, I'm all for the W Hotel. I don't need to see how to get dressed in the morning. Right. Yeah. You know, I don't need light switches to actually turn on the actual light and not like...

some inspirational quote on the wall wait hold on so this is like a this is an unearthed love for the w that i'm sniffing out right now that you just kind of buried and was like fuck the dub and then you were like hold up wait i actually did well no it was it was the fact it was but by the time i got week three in and i'm in a new city in a new hotel every night and you go to turn on a light so you can see what you're doing oh i see yeah right right right right

That'll test you anyways. Three weeks on the road will test you even if you're staying at the nicest of nice. You're always moving. You got no roots. Your butt's always on the go. I mean, you also don't even want to stay at the nicest of nice on that kind of grind because you can't really enjoy it. So the W is a perfect thing where you got all the amenities. Thank you. Thank you.

It's got the vibe in the lobby. The vibe in the lobby is right. You get that music just loud enough to wake you up and not so loud to not let you snooze. Same volume at 5 a.m. and 5 p.m. You know what I drank? I drank last night. Have you guys ever seen this or had this? Pappy Van Winkle.

Excuse me? I feel like I have, but... Whiskey? Burbank? Bourbon? Burbank? It's from whiskey. Right here in Burbank, California. Brewed right in... I don't think they brew whiskey. Burbank? Yes. Burbank. Distilled. Cast. Distilled in beautiful Burbank. Yeah, Pappy Van Winkle. I went and played cards...

at a friend's house and he busted out this bottle. It was like, it's like a five or $10,000 bottle of bourbon. Yeah. What kind of friends you got? What kind of cards you playing now? I don't know. And the card game was like, I like, I was one of the big winners. I won $200. So I don't know why he busted out this crazy expensive bottle of whiskey. It was very, he said it was a gift. So he's like, yeah, sure. Let's drink it. Whoa.

What card games were you playing? Texas Hold'ems. Oh, okay. Is that where you got the river? Yeah. The river card? The flop? You wait for the flop? That is correct. The flop and the boo-hoo. We should play cards together sometimes. The flop and the boo-hoo. Yeah.

The zip, the flop, the boo-hoo, baby. I feel like we got to play cards sometime, Kyle. Yeah, I would love to. Now that I know that you don't really know the rules, yeah, we got to play. Blackjack, yeah. When I go to Vegas, I play blackjack. That's my shit. Or is this his bluff? Yeah, it could be. His long con. I'm not very good at poker. See what he's doing?

Yeah, I'm better at blackjack. I am. I like playing blackjack more than poker, but I will play poker with you for sure. It just gets old after a while. Well, blackjack is a hard game to play just with your friends because no one's going to be the casino. I know. I know. You've got to have a house. Poker face. I'd like to play cards with you guys. We're not a real card crew, though. I feel like I probably play it the most, and I play one time a year. I don't know. I told you guys I used to do it via the iPad. Yeah.

So I'm kind of a gambler in that way. Oh, right. You were playing online poker. Is that, is that real bam? It's real. Yeah. And I love to play cards and I'd love to play with you, Adam. I would love that. Let's get it together, man. Who knew this? I didn't know this. Playing cards is so fun. And, uh, $10,000 whiskey. Is that in the, yeah, wait, what's it's called? Pappy van Winkle. Yeah. I'm surprised you guys haven't heard of this. Why is it so expensive? Is it a, it's very good. Uh,

and it's distilled like 20 years is it how much better is it than like fucking four roses wild turkey it's better than wild turkey wild turkey is a barn burner it is very good it's very very smooth uh like it's 10 talk to me about wild you're drinking it why are you spending ten thousand dollars on it how old is he didn't he was given it as a gift so why does it cost ten thousand dollars i

Because they only release something like 7,000 cases a year, and they only give it to liquor stores. Like, they'll give you a bottle per liquor store if you move all of their other whiskeys. So it's a big distillery, and this is their nicest stuff. Sure. And I think it's like...

I'm blanking on the name of the, and then the liquor store is like, we don't care. Cause no one's going to come in here and buy that bottle of $10,000 whiskey. No, they will. They can't keep it. Like it's on, they have like deals with, with the high end, high end collectors that are like, as soon as you get one, I'll pay five or 10 grand or whatever it

Yeah, there's like whiskey collectors. Yeah, that seems about par for the course. But people are paying for booze? I looked it up this morning being like, how much was that? Because he was saying, I think it's $5 or $5,000. Another guy was like, I think it's $10,000. And I looked it up and it seems like you can find it.

for five grand but then everyone on in like in the on the pages were like well good luck actually getting it they list it for this but then actually finding it is is much harder and it's aftermarket yeah kind of thing so if you see it you should just buy that shit and flip it yeah oh yes and then are you a bootlegger technically or do you have to be making it to be a bootlegger i think you have to make it

to consider yourself a bootlegger. Well, do you know what the bootlegger was? The race cars that ran that shit ran booze in the trunk. Uh, that's how they started NASCAR. And that's why it's called the boot. Yeah. The boot, the boot is the trunk. Yeah. The boots, the trunk. And then they would have the legs or the legs are probably the trips like the leg of the trip. Yeah. That, that was the, the Kennedy's the Kennedy family. That's what they did. Oh yeah. Jack Kennedy, uh, John's father, uh,

Adam, what are you talking about? Was it his father or his grandfather? I think it was his father was a huge bootlegger. And that's how they made their fortune. And then when it became legal, he immediately was just already doing it. So he was the main distributor. What a fucking strange time. I mean, that's like weed dealers too. It's like, hey, I already know this much about weed and have this much experience. Let's make it legal.

And now it's legal and I'm fully plugged in. I wonder, how the hell did we get there? How did we get to the prohibition? How did we get to the point where we were like, yo, alcohol is...

Like, what party did some motherfucker just go way off the rails and they're like, we're done. Booze is over. No, it was because the religious right took hold and made it illegal during the 20s. Hello. Last time I checked, Jesus makes water into wine. Hello. Hello. God made beer. It's proof that he wants us to be happy. Ben Franklin. I got another question. Ben Franklin.

When did they make it legal again? Yeah. Why were they like, we got to just fucking party? Fuck this brother. And it landed. I imagine turning what? Eight, 18. I think back then the day that it turned illegal and you're like, well, fuck. Right. You have to go a decade without drinking.

That would suck. Okay, it was 13 years, bros. 13 years, man. What the hell? Weird, wild shots. That's a whole generation of alcoholics that we've lost. That sucked, man. Okay, so here's the interesting part. I did not think it was this. It was 1920 to 1933, so right during the roaring 20s, during Prohibition. Oh, my God.

Yes. People were fucking partying. What do you mean? Yes, it was during Prohibition. That's what Prohibition was. I didn't know that the Roaring Twenties was the same as Prohibition. I didn't know that. I didn't connect that. I don't think I did either. Well, yes. I think that's a little wild because that's probably why all the parties fucking kicked ass because it was illegal and there was no bars. Yeah, it was a whole secret. Because they were all underground. So you had to be in the know.

So it was like... So like in New York City where there was like an underground party scene that was like a big thing. It makes me go like, dang, I bet that was really fun to go get drunk and being drunk was illegal. Oh, yeah. Right. It's like you're just a teenager for...

Yeah, ever. Yeah. I bet that was like really fun because remember how fun it was to get drunk before you could actually get drunk? Yeah, it was great. Now it's just kind of sad. Yeah, now it's real. There's a whole thing about it. Now you walk into a bar and it's just you and Orlando Bloom winking at each other. Wow. You're looking in the mirror. You're holding the baby. It's getting weird. Yeah, what the fuck? Do you want to know why they did this?

I do. In 1920. So it says national prohibition of alcohol from 20 to 33 was called the noble experiment. And it was under, yeah, the fucking noble experiment. That's so wild. It's like Adam taking two weeks off. America was like, yo, we just got to slow down. Let's take a decade off of not drinking. Yeah.

Who's with me? Nobody. I need a break. Now, what asshole president was in charge when... Yeah, who was our president? 1920s. Grover Cleveland? Who was our guy? 1920s. Was the Kennedy presidency a fucking slapback? Was that fucking like, oh, he tried to do the not go away, now we knew why? Now I'm going to get my

boy in here. Well, it was his son, and then when was Kennedy? It was the 60s, right? Yeah, that's a little later. That's much later than the 20s and 30s. I know, but hey, you know, the arc of history bends slowly. Yeah, you're right. History is cycles. It's all a bunch of circles. The arc of history is like your own dick bending back into your butt.

We all know this. Almost exactly like that. It's looking like Woodrow Wilson kicked it off. Oh, Woodrow. Okay, Woody. That fucking prick. Woody. She's got a drow in the name. Woodrow. I know. He's a weed tucker. He smokes, bro. Let's blow that Woodrow. Yeah.

Beer is illegal, man. You have to come over to my house and smoke. Do you think... I mean, Woodrow seems like a guy who had a really... He had a really shitty wife, I think. I think he has a wife that was super religious. What was her name? Is that what you're saying? That's... Because I...

I'm not seeing... I don't know enough about... I thought I had read about that at one point. You could be right. She was super religious and was like, no, this has to happen. Isn't that what happens? I'm a man! Even with the war on drugs and shit, wasn't that religious... Woodrow?

Reagan's wife or whatever. Nancy Reagan. Dude, look at us go. That was like some religious backing. Did we already go into this? How the internet blew up Nancy Reagan a few months ago? We're having sloppy toppy. Apparently she was like she had that Gag 2000. Wait. What is this? You didn't hear about this? No, please explain. Wait.

What Nancy Reagan? Six months ago, the internet blew up. It was like the reason that Ronald Reagan like went on his first date with her was because she was known in Hollywood to have that turbo head.

And then he married her. Thank you, God. And it was like she had legendary dom. Which is great. Cool. Yeah, which is fucking sick as fuck. That's a sick stamp. I mean, fuck. That is so tight. Good job. But it really does rewrite history, doesn't it?

What was Nancy Reagan in Hollywood? What was that? Was she an actress as well? Because Ronald was that big swinging dick. She was just a groupie. Because Ronald was an actor. It was on the internet. So it has to be real. Just say no. It was on the internet, so it has to be real. And then they were just doing videos of her zooming in on her eyes looking at Mr. T. And it was like,

All she wanted was that dick. And I'm like, is this now just getting like strange or like winning? Yeah. Strange. Well, I couldn't, I don't know why we were slamming her. I can't remember what it was, but it was like people were trying to celebrate her. And then somebody was like, nah, she just had like dope head.

Here we go. Did you say sloppy toppings? Sloppy toppy. Oh, I thought you said sloppy toppings. Nancy Reagan is trending for allegedly being renowned in Hollywood for performing oral sex. Here's why it seems more complex. That is so cool. That changes the course of history. So what was her deal? Why was she in Hollywood? What's going on? No gag.

Nancy Reagan? That changes the course of history for me. It does. It absolutely does, and I'm digging deeper. Yeah, it makes me think she's kind of cool, like...

kind of cool well she also kind of wasn't cool kind of you know she the war on drugs i think kind of sucks but sloppy toppy does yeah but this doesn't you don't think this undoes that entirely i feel like it does a lot of wrongs yeah it's not yeah it definitely writes a lot of wrongs for me oh here we go here we go she wanted to war on drugs because she was like i was fucking high doing all

Bro, she was a Hollywood actress in the 40s and 50s Starring in such films as The Next Voice You Hear, Night Into Morning, and Donovan's Brain Behind the Green Door Alright, and in 52 Wait, what was the last one? Donovan's Brain? Yeah

She was letting us know. Wait, did you say behind the green door? Was she really in the behind the green door? Wasn't that a porno? That was a porno, but I didn't say that. Behind the green door was like the first porno in like theaters or something? No, I dropped that one. Oh, okay. How do you guys know this? Yeah, how did you know? You don't know about that? Behind the green door is, yeah, that's like... It's legendary in cinema. Well... Is it the first porno? I mean, I knew it once you said it, but it was weird that you had behind the green door...

in the chamber ready to go right there on the tip of the tongue yeah tip of the tongue

How?

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Just to cap this Nancy Reagan thing, this was in 1952. No cap. All right, down boy. That's cap. This was in 1952 that she married Reagan. So that's just, you know, the 50s were actually kind of tight. And by the way, this is like eating booty. People weren't doing it like that back then. True. Oh, slurping? This was like, yeah, this is like new frontier shit. Shlobbing? Well, they weren't talking about it.

No, I mean, I don't know. When was the first blowjob? Yeah. That shit's in Egyptian art. I feel like that's been happening. But it ebbs and flows. No, no, no. All the history of oral sex. Of course, and eating booties was happening before, too. But now it's like the thing. Now it's back. Yeah, now it's really back. Well, then Kevin Gates came out and had an interview about eating butt-like groceries. And it was fire.

Firestorm. That's what I'm saying. It's like, uh, that was not like on the checklist of when you're in middle school being like, all right, I need a hand job. I need to like suck some boobs, get a blowjob and fuck. Nobody was like, dude, you know, you could slip in booty eating right between blowjob and fucking. Of course you can. Well, I feel like eating is, uh,

That's an advanced level. You don't go right to that. That's not like the first. What do you mean? But aren't we in advanced? That wouldn't be on your middle school checklist. But we as a – Kyle's feeling attacked. I think that it is now. Yeah. People are probably eating booties before they're having sex. Wait. Kyle's feeling attacked. He's feeling bad. No.

But what I'm saying is, Adam, yeah, you're right, but we are at a sense... Kyle's vapor backed in the corner right now. Wait, wait, wait. We're speaking for all booty eaters. Yeah, there's nothing wrong with it. No, I'm just saying, yeah, that's advanced, but we are advancing as a people, so it should come right in between oral sex and fucking...

Oh, yeah. Listen, I think that booty eating is probably before sex for like high schoolers and middle schoolers. What? What is that? Give me some context. What do you mean? What? I think booty eating is probably before sex. Because I guarantee you it is. Because look, you're already down there. If you're going down on some chick, you're already down there. You're probably like, I'm going to do the thing they're rapping about. Right.

right because she's not letting me fuck right so i'm gonna try this you're right yeah you're absolutely right i'm pissed now well i see i don't think that it is i feel like it's still an advanced move because you're old you're old you don't know it's new to you you think it's advanced because you're like you don't get it this is the roaring 20s 2020 to 2023 we're out here bro

This is the roaring 20s. Thank you, God. Because by the way, I know like Catholic girls are like willing to go anal before vaginal to like keep it. Because God is watching. Yes. But that's like a rumor. And that's more advanced. Or is it? Disappoint!

I don't know how real it is. Yeah. But yes. That's about as real as Nancy Reagan being the queen of the Thunderdome. That is real. That is 100% real. Yeah. You could just tell. You could see it in her crazy eyes. How are you in denial, Adam? How do you not see this as something that is probable that it's happening? I do think it's probable. Anything is probable. And I do think it's happening. I don't think it's as widespread. Yeah.

Widespread as we're making it out to be. I still feel eating booty is an advanced move for

That's because you're old. I don't think it's advanced for these kids. Motherfucker, you're old. I know. I know about Trophouse, dog. That's true. I don't think it's advanced for these young bucks. Have you ever eaten butt to Trophouse music, though? Wait, so you... Okay. La, la, la, la, la.

Is your argument eating booty is like third base? Yeah, I bet it is. It's shortstop. Third base has been replaced with booty eating? I think so. No, it's shortstop. It's in between second and third is the shortstop. You just hit it. You just hit it. You check it out. Damn. Miguel Tejada? So what is third base again? It's been a while since I've broken it down to bases. The bases?

Yeah. Well, yeah, no, that is true. First base is just kissing or his first base titties. I thought first base was copping like was touching. I think you have to go hand. Heavy petting. Like holding. Heavy petting. Kissing, heavy petting combo. And then second base is handy. Kissing.

Kissing his last. That's finally his home run. He's like, it's the most special. I won't do it. I beat your butt. I'd love to have a kiss. Exactly. That's the deal sealer. Now that I've eaten your butt, I would love to have a kiss. I would love to have a kiss. No, first base is kissing. Uh,

Second base is copping a field. Second base is copping fields, so I guess we could throw in hands up. And my favorite word, finger bang. Who came up with that? Blasting. Blasting. Who came up with finger blasting? Yeah, that's the worst. Well, the bang was already pretty intense. One thing went to blast. I know. And our girls running around being like, dude, I fucking jack blasted that guy.

No. Like, why are we doing this? Why are we saying we finger banged and things like that? I don't know. Jack blasted. Yeah, dude. I fucking jack blasted Craig. Yeah.

You've just been jackblasted. Damn, I don't think I've ever been jackblasted in my life. I just hand-banged him. Yeah, hand-blasted? Yeah, there's not enough blasting happening. Third base is jackblasted. It's oral. It's got to be cunnilingus. That's where you slip. Okay, so see, we're saying third base is oral. Oral.

And eating booty is between second and third base. That seems... No, no, no. I would say it's between home. No, the bases are moving. And you're moving the goalposts. Yeah. This bro's out here moving goalposts. Well, it's two different sports. Eating booty is arguably a different sport. Eating booty is when... It's this. You know when they throw the ball and you're caught between a tag out or whatever? What do they call that? Where they're trying to run by a hot box. That's called pickle. That's the original pickleball. Pickle.

Pickle, pickle, pickle, pickle, pickle. They're trying to run you down, so you're just going back and forth eating booty, just trying to get home. Sipping tea with Adam. We need more bases in baseball in order to actually do this. That is actually a pretty cool idea for the sport of baseball. What if they added two bases? Two what? Two bases. You fucking idiot. Two bases. Two bases.

Bases. Two bases. Kind of like rock and jock basketball, how they had like two more hoops. What if we do rock and jock softball with two more bases? How is the Oakland Athletics doing? Aren't they doing really bad? Like I think someone – Wait, why are you doing this? Was it you that was telling me that they have like 3,000 fans in their stadium? What are you doing? Yes. What?

What are you doing, man? We got to get more fans in that stadium, man. What the heck's going on? Well, it's kind of like... All right, cool. Good. If we want to deep dive it, it's kind of like the team is kind of notorious for selling off all their players of value, and they kind of were building up this team. It's the worst part of being a fan. Do they have a shitty owner? Is that what's happening? No, it's just their strategy. They just don't spend money. It's management. Yes.

So shitty owners. And that's just money ball. That's it. I can't get into it. It's banishment. It is. It's the Billy Bean. Billy Bean set the precedent, and then they've just kind of been rolling with it. You know, cheap and always moving. Cheap and shitty. Well, maybe you guys need to pitch him fifth base. But yeah, if we pitch him a couple extra bases. If you come to Oakland and you have to...

Run a couple extra bases. That could get the butts in the seat. Only in Oakland. I love that. Yeah. Yeah. That's where you get the extra baseball. Wait, did we talk about that Savannah Bananas or whatever? We talked about that. No, but I watched Real Sports about it. Yeah. It's like this team out in Savannah, Georgia. They're called like the Bananas, I think. And they play baseball with like totally different rules. Like they have like flaming bats and you can like. Right. It's like bizarre. It looks fun as fuck. Yeah.

It does seem really fun. You got to like get your clothes off by the time you get to home base. What? And that's why the minor leagues are really fun. There's the minor league baseball team, the Riverdogs here in Charleston. The games are just so fun. It's like they're not doing all the crazy stuff that they're doing in Savannah, but it's like

There's just like mascots walking around all the time and like stuff for kids. And there's just like batting cages that you can go to during the game and like pitching machines. And it's just really cool. I'm like, oh, this is. Is this like AAA? Yeah. Yeah. It might even be like AA or single A. I mean, the Cubs were so bad for so long that that was also the vibe of Wrigley. It's just a giant bar. Yeah. Right, right. You would just go there. There's things happening. Well, that's what they call the Coliseum, the last dive bar.

Yeah, you just treat the stadium like your bar. That's the fucking coolest. But I don't know. I mean, Wrigley is a fucking bar. Yeah. Period. That's it. How much does a ticket go for at Wrigley, though? Up top, nothing.

Really? Oh, really? You can get in? That's dope. See, that's the way baseball games should be. They should be cheap as fuck. Like, for the way up. I would love to go to a Cubs game. I only went to one. My aunt took me for my second communion, so I'm eight years old. That's cool. And she took me and...

I bought a neon pink Cubs hat. And I remember my dad being like a little bummed that I came home with the neon pink Cubs hat. We heard this a few weeks ago. Two weeks ago. Nice, nice, nice, nice. His memory has left him again. He started drinking. It's gone. He drank some fucking $10,000 whiskey. Sorry, dude. Sorry. I didn't mean to blow you up. The Rip Van Winkle. Pappy.

It's a real in and out. It's real in and out. He's back. I was pap smeared. Whoa. I got pap smeared. Whoa, you were what? Yeah, that's what happens when you get drunk on Pappy Van Winkle. You get pap smeared. All right. That's life. I love it, baby.

The Cubs won a couple years ago. 2016, the Cubs took the series. Isn't that right? They did. It was... I'd love to go as an adult. It seems mad fun. I mean, it's... Yeah, it is fun, but it's also just a lot of drunk people kicking it, high-fiving. The high-fiving. Yeah. I think that's where it was invented. See, that's where we differ, Durs, because I could get drunk and high-five all day long. That's...

I would love to do that with a bunch of strangers. For me, I'm also okay with high-fiving. I miss human contact, especially in large groups of people. Oh, I'm back. I'm back to touching strangers. I feel like I now, by habit, fist bump way more than ever before just because of the pandemic. I was like, all right, we fist bump. And then now that we can, I'm just like fist bumping way too much. Yeah, you're still on it. See, I've ditched it.

I go right to the bro hug and then bring them in close. Just eat their butt right quick. Trying to get COVID again, basically. I just kiss them straight up. Yeah, I just open mouth kiss them. That's kind of cool. I just eat their asshole. Yeah, just go straight to shortstop. Ah, shortstop. Spin them around.

You shortstopped me. Cool. You start with the butt. Yeah, baby. Pucker up. This is my first bass. Pucker up. Pucker up. That's it. But that's cool. You know, just like eating somebody's butt when you meet them is cool. But like fist bumping? I don't know. I definitely feel like an old man who's like fist bumping a youngster. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, we are old and there are lots of people younger than us. I'm just going to say that. And it feels more like that. I feel that more and more every day, especially when I go out in the crowds, because there's not a lot of old people in the crowds. It's all the youngsters that are going out. Can you grab that for me, young man? Yeah, I feel old. You're going to the wrong parties, dude. You need to go to cool old guy rules parties.

Well, yeah. You just got to hang out with Blake. Blake knows where all the cool old guys are. Right. Blake's the weird guy at the skate park who's like, yeah, come here. Look at here. Sag your pants a little lower. Kyle, you play pickleball. Yeah. Well, Blake is Kyle's actively hanging out with old people. He's like going to the pickleball matches. Yeah. What do you mean? You're surrounded by oldies. I was talking about parties. I'm not talking about the pickleball courts.

I'm talking about when I saw you play, when you were at your thing, you DJed at the Comic-Con, man. There was so many young fucking people there. But also, it was Nasty Neck, it was Nuge. All those guys are older than we are. I'm just saying. Hey, don't do that to them. That's what I'm saying. Adam, stop. Don't do that to them. What's wrong with being old? No, there's nothing. I'm just saying the people that are out and about are more often younger than us. Wow.

That's all I'm saying. Yes, usually by this point of people's lives, they're at home with their families. That is correct. That's all that I'm saying. That's it. Blake hopes not. Blake hopes not. Dude, we should be in Croatia, baby. Let's go. Come on. That's where the real grown men's is at.

No, they're at hedonism, doggy. That's for the future Nancy Reagan to the world. Let's just let that lie there for a second. What did you just say, Blake? That's for the real grown men. The grown men is really, really off the coast of Croatia, baby. That's a grown man area. Okay.

Can you elaborate? I'm saying it's probably a very wealthy area. You're not going to see a lot of young money out there. It's probably a lot of old dudes with big boats. Yes. Okay. So it's like Monaco. It's like Monte Carlo. Is it by Monte Carlo?

It's over that direction. Kyle, did you want to talk about Monte Carlo? No, I'm just... When he painted that picture, it sounded like... Kyle's been to a place once and he wants to tell us about it. When he painted that picture, it sounded like Monaco. I believe it is kind of cliff-side-y like that. That's what it's looking like to me. Very cliff-side, very blue. It's on the...

Adriatic Sea? Is that? Where the fuck is this place? I like how you somehow had an issue pronouncing sea. Yeah.

No, when I got to C, I was doubting what I had just said and it leaked into C. Because Adriatic doesn't sound like something that should be found in that part of the world. Okay. Well, it is. You're in charge of naming things now? Oh, it is. It just doesn't flow off the tongue like Croatia.

Dude, it is near that. It's over on the other side of the boot in Italy. See, Monte Carlo is on the other side. So, yeah, I bet it's similar vibes. I want to talk about locations in regards to where they are from Monte Carlo. Yeah, exactly. You were in Portland, Oregon, and Monte Carlo is over there. Yeah, great. Go ahead. Now I understand the context. Right. Well, that's essentially our manager, Isaac, anytime we're anywhere with him, and we're

He's like, yeah, so like Orange County is about 1,400 miles from here. Right. So, yeah, so we're like halfway across. He does that for locations and then for timeline stuff, he'll be like, I mean, that was like four years before punk rock happened. So... Dead Kennedys drop in. That was like 75. Yeah.

It was like, let's see, that was 2004 because punk rock had been dead officially. Well, Sid just died. Let's see. The punk rock timeline. Burn!

Have fun.

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I will say just when I was in Monte Carlo, okay, there was $100. Wasn't that many years ago? No, no, this I think you guys would dig this. This is for you guys. I think you'd dig this. During F1, $100. Oh, yeah, I'm a huge F1 nut. $100 beers. Formula One. $100 bottle of Buds. Yeah, but that's just to say you bought a $100 beer, right? No, that's what it was. That was the base level drink in Monte Carlo. I know, but I think they do that to be like,

I bought a hundred dollar beer. Well, yeah. I mean, it's like a million dollars for 10 by 10, 10 feet by 10 feet in Monte Carlo. It's like the most expensive spot on planet earth. Yeah. Yeah. So you owned it for a week. Yeah.

I just fucking hung out, bro. I just hung out. So $100 for like just a regular. Bud Light. That's like Dubai. It's not like that. That was at the, that was during the race. It was during F1. It's not like that. Cause I was there, I don't know, a year after you and we went and fucking kicked. I think I talked about this on the pod, how Em and I went, we were there on July 4th. We were just in France and we went over to Monte Carlo and,

And it was July 4th. And we saw these people setting up for like a fucking July 4th USA celebration, but it hadn't opened yet. It was like lunchtime and we were hungry and we're like, are you guys open? Like, yeah, we're opening right now. And,

And then in whatever French accent. And then all of a sudden, the waiters and waitresses start coming out. And they're all in Indian headdresses and like basketball uniforms because they're like, America, July 4th, basketball and Indians. And we were like, fuck, this is hilarious.

Wait, they were wearing like a Native American like headdresses. Yes, because they were just like celebrating America. So that's their view from. Yeah. Whoa, I love that. That is absolutely absurd. Like super hot waitresses in like.

the headdresses with the feathers and then all the dudes were dressed in like Kobe jerseys. Yeah, they just saw like some photos of Coachella and they're like, this is how they dress now. This is like how they... Right, exactly. They just have Kygo cranking on the fucking loudspeakers. Hello. I love that. Hit us with a little bit, Blake. Hit us with some Kygo.

Oh, I'd love to catch a farm. I also saw, and Kyle, I don't know how much time you had to kill and scope out the scene, but I

I saw a Gucci kids store. Oh, yeah. Gucci. And I was like, this is hilarious. Yeah, no, I was all around that. That's kind of sick. Yes. Yes. They have the craziest, most expensive shit in Monte Carlo. It's just, it's absurd. That's truly absurd. And you kind of are like, when you're there, if you're rich, I imagine. Do I get $100 beer? You buy it because you're like, this is hilarious. I'm so rich. They price $100. Yes. Two. Two.

You guys have never been to Dubai, right? I heard that's kind of like it out there. No, we got to do the podcast at the W at Dubai. That would be ill. But it's expensive. Oh, have you guys heard of this? Where are they building it? I think it's Saudi Arabia. They're building that new city called Neom. Neom. Okay, I'm listening. It's absolutely... Is it on the water? It's the hot new city. Is it on water? They're building... It's in the middle of the desert, and they're building their own...

Like a Vegas? Ocean and lake. Right. But it's going to be huge. Like an actual city. I think it's supposed to fit 9 million people. What the hell? And it's going to be in a bubble. It's going to be in a dome. We can do that? So this is the problem. Because they did this in China and now there's like ghost cities where like nobody lives there. But it's people. Really?

It's like people were building buildings, making money, acting as if people are going to be moving there and then no one moves there and there's entire cities that are just like empty. But good luck. This place looks like it's out in the middle. It looks like it's by the water, this Neom place. How do you spell it? Neom. N-E-O-M. Neom. Are we moving there? I mean, LA is getting out of hand. It's like a full smart city where all the new technologies and everything and there's like...

They're building the skyscrapers instead of straight up. They're building them in a line. So the skyscrapers are going to be stacked on top of each other, and it goes miles and miles and miles long. Durs, are you saying that these are just like hot new tickets that people invest in and they get rich off it, but they are absolutely not sustainable and nobody wants to live there after they become not a fad? Is that kind of...

Yeah. They're building it, promising like that people will move in and they're getting paid by like the government and other people. And then people don't move because there's no job opportunities out there or whatever. Right. Hmm.

Yeah, so Neom is a futuristic megacity 33 times the size of New York City. A megalopolis? And it is being built on the Red Sea in northwest Saudi Arabia. There's that many people that are that wealthy that they can afford to live there? Exactly, no. Hey, well, we'll see. Yeah, no. What the hell? Look at this website's off the chain. Yeah, and it's costing them...

billion dollars to make. Oh my God. That seems like a steal. Well, yeah, to build a whole functioning infrastructure. Oil money, baby. We forgot the toilets. Oops. It's just one giant W hotel. You can never find a goddamn light switch to save your life.

Can we rewind? You said that they're building skyscrapers that just lay on top of each other. I don't understand that. I'm having trouble. I mean, look it up. I really don't know. Look it up, bitch. It's called the line is what they're calling it. Horizontal skyscrapers. Right. Isn't that just a hotel in LA? The line hotel. Love it. Shout out.

Yeah, this place looks weird as hell, man, but I would go there. I don't know. But I heard, like, in Dubai, you're not allowed to drink. It's illegal. It's like prohibition out there. Oh, they're in prohibition. They're in their 20s. Yeah, but they still do it, don't they? Yeah. You can only drink in hotels or something. It sounds kind of weird.

parties. The parties are going to be off the charts. I guess it's a no-go for us then, huh? Yeah, no, I'm trying to, you know, go out to a little bar or, you know, go outside. You don't want to just blaze a hookah? Pass me the hookah. Well, let's just go to different hotels and you drink at their bar. Yeah. Man, I don't think it's that easy. I think it has to be in your room. What do you mean?

Here we go. I think you're just making shit up. This is misinformation. We're getting some facts down here. You can drink if you're rich and a famous person. They have exceptions is what one of our producers said. I'm not going to say. I don't know. That sounds. Okay. That sounds. Say, sign me up. What? You have to be on Raya. Yeah. Do they check your, they check your star meter. And if it's low enough, you can drink. Oh my God. Fuck dude. That's fucked up. Awesome.

I would love to go vacation somewhere fucking weird with you guys. Let's go to the weirdest place. This sounds like it might be the one. You think? What, Dubai? Or Neom? Dubai or Neom? Neom. No, no, no. We got to go to Neom, bro. Neom. I'm trying to live in Neom. I don't think Neom is... It's not done yet. I think they just broke ground on it. But let's go now and point around and be like, yeah, over here. Yeah, that'd be sick. We should go there. We're the first ones here.

Yeah, exactly. Try it. I know it's just a desert right now, but... We heard you could drink here. I'm looking at these horizontal skyscrapers, bro. Dude. I'm looking at these horizontal skyscrapers, man. There's... It's the future of urban living. What do you mean horizontal? Because that means flat. Well, he said, that's what I'm trying to find, the flat ones that Adam was talking about. That's a ground scraper. That's a ground scraper, bro. Yeah. Ha ha!

Yeah. It's just like one tunnel. Yes. You see the line? It's like, yeah. It's just like one horizontal piece that connects two buildings together or something like that. It's like a walkway. But it goes like 50 miles or something. Sure. But they have that in Minneapolis. I know. This is... I don't know. Yeah. I'm not sold on Neom, dude. Hey, man. I'm not selling it. I don't work for the Saudi prince. I'm just saying. Are you sure? Guys, I'm already there. Reveal. Please. Please.

Don't shit on it. I'm already here.

I just moved my whole family. I just moved. The schools are supposed to be really good. They got no toilets. I'm watching the video of what Neom and the line is going to be, and it's absolutely the future of urban living. And then it just shows this girl. You're just watching the trailer for the new Avatar. I mean, honestly, it looks like it. It shows a girl flying. Like Peter Pan style. Using superpowers and flying through the city. I'm like, I don't know if that's possible. Humans can fly.

As soon as you enter the city, you get your mutant power. In Neon, humans can fly. I like it. I'm already here. Did you say it was in a bubble? It's actually in a dome? I believe so, yeah. You guys don't get it. You'll get it when you get here. Yeah, so no COVID. No COVID in the bubble. It keeps the COVID out in...

Neom. In Neom. You confuse your DNA with your favorite animal. Yeah, I would love to do one of those crazy Instagram vacations out to someplace absurd. What's that? Oh, yeah. Where you're working out on top of a skyscraper. Yeah, that'd be kind of cool. That's where you do yoga. I feel like none of us are... We're just beer bonging. Yeah, we're not influencers enough. We've got to be more of an influencer. I feel like our fans aren't really that influenced by what we do.

Let's just keep it real. We're just going to be sitting there and fucking laughing. Nothing is going to come of it. I did notice we don't post much. None of us. No. Like, because we don't. Do you guys feel the urge? I go through spurts every once in a while. I'll go through a spurt where I feel like posting and then I'll just not do it for like three months and be like, oh, yeah.

Instagram's always been work to me, though. I post mostly work shit. I'm like, okay, I'm in Comic-Con. I'm releasing a movie. I'm doing this TV show. Then I have a burst. And then other than that. Yeah, but our work lines and our friendship lines are super blurred, though. So I feel like it is my life, but I don't post about my family and stuff that much on the Instagram. Never. Right.

And I think they want that though, right? They want the engagement. They want to see your vacation. They want to like see you beating off. Well, I mean, the last time I was doing that stuff was when I was on... As soon as I have a kid, I'm going to exploit them. They want to see your dick. When I was on Vine, that's what I was using Vine for back in the day was a lot of vacation footage and stuff. What? Right. The six second video is mostly just vacation footage. That's like... Yeah, that was like... Hey guys, I'm in...

I'm here in beautiful... Hey guys, I just landed in... I just landed in... I just landed in...

By the way, timing your vine, that was an art form. King Batch, you are not my friend. I am sorry, all right? Oh, you're saying I'm not King Batch. I thought you said King Batch, you're not my friend. I'm like, why are you doing that? Yeah, why are you shitting on King Batch? Very good friends. Yeah, he's a bud. I had a very funny post the other day. I sent it to Blake. That's a good guy. Which one? Which one?

Where he was like, you got to go on this feed, bro. No, I know. I definitely am. I mean, I watch him. I just want to know if I laugh. I'm not telling, but we'll do it after. I'm not telling. This is good podcasting. Are there any takebacks, apologies, giveaways, epic slams?

I would like to apologize for any misinformation about Nancy Reagan that we may have put into the universe. That's our bad. We just report on what we see. That's all. We're just reporting. It is cool that...

Somehow someone got the inside scoop on Nancy Reagan 50, what, 70 years later. They're like, well, we have to make this viral. Link it. I like that it finally leaked. We link it. And Bill Russell just died. I just saw a news thing. I saw. Bill Russell, the world famous scientist.

Celtic Basketball Center. One of the best basketball players to ever live. I actually have a funny photo. RIP Bill Russell. But I have a funny photo of us pissing next to each other at a urinal. Me and Bill Russell. And it looks like he's looking down at my dick. So...

Rest in peace. That's cool, man. Way to honor him. It definitely looks like he is, which is very funny, and I would like to honor him. That's going to be my RIP photo of him. I'm finally going to get back on Instagram and post that photo to honor him. You should. That is so awesome. By the way, truly, when people are talking about Jordan or LeBron, who's the greatest, I'm like, what?

How are we all not just going? So there's Bill Russell. We know. Yes. Who is the greatest because he has eight or ten rings. He has ten, I think. Yeah. And he was coaching while playing. Yeah. Really? Yeah. And I mean, he was like battling racism as well. It was crazy. Yeah.

This dude was in a whole other stratosphere. And it's crazy to me that nobody goes, okay, Bill Russell. Now, obviously, like, athletically, things progress, right? But everyone's a product of their era. And in his era, this dude had 10 rings. Yeah. Some of them while coaching. Crushing it. Come on. Ultimate stud. So flowers to Bill Russell. Was he really playing? He was a player coach. Yeah. He was the real deal. How do you do that?

I mean, it's like when you direct an act, we're in awe of you, Kyle. Kyle, you're our Bill Russell. Right, right. Now I get it. I didn't know he was a player. Trill Russell. I thought Red Arbok was the coach of the Celtics during that run. He did, but later in Bill Russell's career, he also coached. Oh, no, that's crazy. That's so dope. RIP Bill Russell. And correct me if I'm wrong. Maybe we'll put an asterisk.

on this one, but I'm almost positive. I like that. It doesn't sound right when you say it like that. Asterisk. It's an asterisk. Yeah, I don't like it. And dude, he looks like when he would show up and give the MVP award. Or no, he would give the championship award. MVP, I think. Yeah, I think it's the Bill Russell trophy. Yes.

I mean, he looks like just a fucking cool ass wizard. Yeah. When his like hair got hella white and he's like seven feet tall. Like he's, you don't live that long and be seven feet tall. That's wild. Yeah.

Yeah, he was cool. And he had like the best laugh. That dude, you would see like players crack him up and he would just be like, like a full body laugh. I love this dude. I made him laugh once and Candice Parker. Because he saw your dick. With your dick at the interview? Yeah, he saw my dick and he started laughing. Oh my God. Ha!

I actually seen that one in Game Over Man, dude. Yeah, Candice Parker was like, yeah, he doesn't give up laughs that easily. What? Yeah, that's what she said. She said he was like hard to get going. I bet you could find a YouTube video of Bill Russell laughing. He's constantly on the stage just like full body laughs. That's good too. Or NBA players. Maybe she was just hyping me up. I think she was hyping you up. She's nice. He also played at the University of San Francisco. Shout out Bay Area legend Bill Russell. Man.

R.I.P. Big Bill. So those are my flowers. I gave flowers. Okay, tight. Can I get one of those flowers to give? Can I get one of those? Go ahead. What are you drinking? This is water. Come.

How's there something you want to get off your chest before we hang up? Me? I was just trying to remember what they are. Dead ringers? What is it? Oh, yeah. You got a dead ringer? Oh, I did have something. I had something. I have a candy complaint. No, a candy criticism. All right. I'm going to go. No, I'm here for it. I love candy criticism. I totally forgot. I totally have a brand new candy criticism. Is this a new segment? Yeah. Candy.

Yeah. Kyle's Corner. Candy criticism. Now, this is just if anybody who can make this change, if they're listening. But I'm a huge fan of Reese's, the cups. Okay? The cups. To be clear, the cups. I like the cups. Now, the problem is I haven't had one of those candies in a very long time that came off of the wrapper clean.

There's always a little piece of the cup that's stuck on the fucking little cup thing. And you party with old people. Well, you know what's to blame about that? What? It's global warming. It's too hot. It's too hot now. But I would think that they can fix this. They should be able to fix this. Keep them in your refrigerator. Okay.

Okay. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you so much. You're welcome. But sometimes if I'm just going to buy it from the store and eat it in the car, this is when they're sitting on the rack, by the way. This is when they're at Home Depot. So I just go into my car. Home Depot.

This guy's lunch. This dude's home Depot lunch. It's frustrating, guys. I can't stop eating. The small ones are even worse than the big ones. Why is it so frustrating? Just lick those things. Yeah, it's part of the fun. It's like licking a yogurt top. Why's it all gotta be in one piece? Fuck outta here. I'm just gonna let that land.

Real quick though, Kyle. Did you guys ever take the cup wrapper, like the black cup wrapper, and then you apply it to your teeth and from far away it looks like you got no teeth? Oh, no. We did that with gum wrappers. Yeah, gum and make it look like a grill. Yeah, there's a lot of that. Gum, it makes it look like a grill. Yeah. With the winter fresh...

silver. Oh, God. You know what, Durs? I bet when people did that, though, they were trying to bite the rest of the fucking cup off the bottom and they were like, oh, wait, look, you got no teeth. So do you have a take back? Happy accident. No, I guess I'll say it's a candy compliment now. It's a compliment. It's a candy compliment. And that was another episode of Kyle's Corner's Candy Criticism.

It's important. This is important. Oh, thanks, Blake. Yeah, play us out, baby. You got it, brother. Oh, my God. This is good. This is Trop House, baby. Trop House.

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