The Pleasure Is Ours: "Don't Bite Off More Than You Can Chew"
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Oh, you already know. Oh, the pleasure. The pleasure is ours. Hey, guys. The pleasure is ours. That's my spot. That's my spot. You have a spot? Yeah, the spot for me is the dick. The whole dick zone, yeah. It's a big spot.

I have a few spots. My nipples are a spot. Come on. Are they really for you? Fuck yeah, bro. What do you mean? Is that for real? Wait, what do you mean? Is that for real? Is that for real? Because what do you mean? Well, I mean, yeah, it's a pretty standard question. Okay. Yeah, it's for real. It is for real. Yours are not. That's what blows me away. No, mine are not. Yeah. For real is a standard question.

Yeah, I could tug on these all day long and get nothing, get no sexual pleasure from them. Well, tugging is not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the soft touch, the feather touch. Oh, see, because I remember I used to always grab a hold of your... It wasn't so much a nipple. I was grabbing your whole titty meat. Yeah, you grabbed the whole thing. And I'd jiggle them around just as a fun...

There's a fun ha-ha. And they're not big nipples on Kyle. Didn't you notoriously fail at piercing your nipples? Or it happened and they got infected? Something went wrong. No, no, that wasn't me. That was our buddy. Oh, oh, you're really backtracking pretty quickly. That wasn't me. I did the lip and that failed and got infected. But our buddy Justin did the nipple...

and that failed and got infected as well. Oh, yeah. And was it a dare? Did he do it on a lark? It was like a drunken, yeah, like a drunken, like, we'll do this. And do you think when you tried to pierce your lip and Justin tried to pierce his nipple that he bit off more than he could chew? Oh, segue much. Which is the topic for this episode. The pleasure is ours. The pleasure is ours. Brought to you by...

Trojan Man! There's no denying this is a classic bit of advice. It's been around a long time. I know. People won't shut up about this advice. And I honestly, I'm willing to go out on a limb and say that it sucks. Oh my God, yeah. Yeah, this is dumb advice. You think it's good advice. Don't bite off more than you can chew. I think if you can't chew it,

You're a bitch, dude. Thank you. Simply put. Sorry about it. Yeah, it just needs a little revamp, a little reboot, right? That's what Hollywood's doing now. Don't

bite off more than you could chew. Let's talk about this. Kyle, what does that mean to you? I initially think about like fucking trying to bite a big ass hunk of like caramel or something. You know what I mean? Okay. That's weird. So you go like right to literal. Literal eating caramel. You think about eating caramel. Let's keep that. And Adam, where do you go?

The same? Caramel? No, it's a little different than caramel. For me, it's more like too much applesauce. Like a whole jug of applesauce. Oh, God. Been there. Don't bite off too much of a jug of applesauce. You don't even chew applesauce, though. Huh. No. No, obviously, you put too much on your plate, you...

Steak? You put too much steak on your plate. Well, that's when you say your eyes are too big for your plate. Oh, damn. That's true. Your eyes are bigger than your mouth. So you're, I mean, what is the, how do you break this phrase down? Because that is how I would explain it. I bite off more than I can chew. Yeah, Blake, biting off more than you can chew is when you take on more than you're able to. It's...

more than you're able to handle. Yeah, but you've taken such a big chunk out of what you're doing that you might just choke. You're talking with your mouth full. You look like a fool out there. So Kyle, I know you took it literally. Have you ever literally bitten off more than you can chew? And what the heck happened?

Well, that's what I'm talking about. The caramel. Take us back to this caramel moment. If it is kind of like a warning, what happened to you? Did you choke? This seems like it really rattled you to your core. Well, you're afraid because you take such a big bite of caramel and you have to fucking chew through it. And that shit's very sticky. Probably the stickiest of things you could put in your mouth. So you're afraid. For me, I was afraid my fillings might fall out.

My fucking teeth might rip out. You went straight to dental bills. Well, fuck yeah, bro. And I'm like, oh shit, I bit off more than I could chew. Obviously, now I'm going to pay for it in dentist work. So obviously Trojan is the sponsor. So I feel like don't bite off more you could chew. We got to maybe talk about it in a sexual fashion. Okay. Bite off more than you could chew sexually. Okay.

And what does that mean? Because I feel like I've been able to chew everything that I've bitten. Hey, get off. I wouldn't know. It's definitely not too big for anyone to try chewing. Yeah.

So you're talking about biting the dick. What are you trying to... I'm just saying it's not too big to chew. That's all. Oh, well, you're talking about your... To bite off, yeah. You know, it's like... So this isn't in relation to you biting off. This is someone else biting off your dick to chew. Yeah, this is advice. I would never give that advice. I'd be like, you're good to go. Yeah, it's good. It's very chewable. Have a chew. It's a healthy snack. Are you trying to tell us that you enjoy a toothy blowjob, baby?

I'm the guy. I'm the guy. I'm the guy. You're the guy, pal. You're the one where you're the one human that enjoys a nice two feet blowjob. No, I guess I was still, I was still working in the metaphor. You guys are still living in the literal metaphor.

And that's fine. Maybe this whole concept. Adam took it to the metaphor and he said he's never had that problem. He's always been able to chew what he bit in the bedroom. And that's where I said, hold up, hold up, hold up. What is that? You want to know what that means? Never is a very, very extreme word, by the way. Well, other than like, I mean, maybe. It was originally called the Never Games. And then they changed it to X Games. Caramel Games. The Hunger Games. Yeah.

The Hunger Games, I thought you were going on. Yeah, that's what I thought too. So I went to Carmel. Yeah, I feel like don't bite off more than you can chew could be like you're dating multiple people at the same time. Oh, scandalous. Which, scandalous, mate. But I feel like when you're

and you're seeing a lot of different people, and you're not really committed. You're not calling anyone your girlfriend or your boyfriend or whatever. You can see other people, I feel. There's that gray period before you lock someone down. Is this a weird time to talk about the three different families that I have in different states? This would be a weird time. Okay, then I won't. This would be a weird time. I've got families in different area codes. Yeah.

That's the original version. Yeah, that was a ludicrous ode to not biting off more than you could chew. See, ludicrous didn't even think it was possible. Right, right. Well, it very much is possible until you commit to someone and then...

And then, you know, quit chewing, homie. Yeah, I feel like that always ends messy unless you have a twin and then you can kind of like be in both places at once. I wish I was a twin. That'd be so fun. Yeah, or would you like do like the Miss Doubtfire and you're like running from table to table? You know what I mean? Exactly. Then that's when you know you're biting off more than you could chew, okay? When your life turns into a farce, stop chewing. Scallywag. All right. That's pretty good. I mean, maybe I bit off more than I could chew when I'm like...

Oh, it's going to go down tonight and me and my girl come home. Maybe I drank a little bit more than I should have. Right. And then I get home and I'm like, I'm like the op. A lot of guys, they get horny when they're drunk. I'm the opposite. I'm just like, I don't, I'm not horny now.

Right. Are you saying you were like in the club? You had a few drinks. You're like, baby, when I get you home, I'm going to just rock your world. Yeah, basically. A couple more drinks start pouring. You get a Jaeger shot in you. You get home. And next thing you know, Snoozeville 98. Snoozeville 98. So you bit off more than you could chew of booze. Yeah, I drank more than I should have.

So I couldn't. But that's just not as fun to say. Yeah. That doesn't roll off the tongue. Like if someone's like, hey, man, be careful. Don't drink more than you should have. You're like, what? For me, I start to think of if I'm going to bite off more than I can chew, maybe it's like some kind of.

Cool fantasy where I get like five freaking partners at once in the bed and I cannot service any of them well. Right. That's that classic Jamie Foxx bit where he's at the Playboy Mansion just trying to anybody need a dick, need a dick, need a dick, need a dick, and all the ladies start going for each other. Yeah, you're like, dude, this is so awesome. And then it's just five people pissed off at you. Right. I'm like, come on, man. One of us. Not yet. Not yet. Any of us.

You all work on each other. I'm going to try to reload the six-shooter. I'm going to go refill the cooler. Reload the six-shooter. I love that. You got a six-shooter? I think Daddy bit off more than he could chew. Yeah. Bro, I'm lucky if I got a two-shooter. Yeah, I got a 250cc squirt gun over here. Nice. I love it.

I love that. What does that mean? 250cc squirt gun. That's the littlest one. 250cc. Did you go to a motorcycle now? Is that what you did? What was the little squirt gun? The six-shooter? We're talking about guns, bro. No, I'm talking about the... Super soaker? Super soaker. But what's a CC? The littlest one, right? No, the biggest was the 250. Oh, really? Yeah.

30 or 20. Oh, dang. Then I just gave myself a cool compliment. Yeah, you were like real modest. And I think you went to a motorcycle engine studio. Yeah. We're not going to confirm that. Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring. Top reasons your career wants you to move to Ohio. So many amazing growth opportunities.

The pleasure is ours.

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I got it. I got it. Okay. But wait, but what does it do? It prolongs the pleasure and prevents premature ejac. Oh, thank God. And it can be used. What's cool about it, you hose your ding-dong down, and then you can strap on a Trojan condom, which is triple tested and trusted for over 100 years. Oh, that's huge. That's a long time. Wow.

So you use the spray with the condom so you're having safe sex. You're lasting a long time. Everybody's having fun. My gosh. So it's super safe, but then also you're not a chump. You're not just... Yeah, you're not a two-pump chump. You're not a two-pump chump. You're a pleasure machine. You're a pleasure machine. Yes, exactly. A pleasure machine. Yeah, say it again because that's true. Say it one more time. Pleasure machine. Exactly. Third time's the charm. Or maybe they just read about Sting who was having tantric sex for hours.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. He's a legend in that field. Well, I mean, so I think that this must be his secret.

Right? Yeah. This has to be his secret. He must be using the delay spray. He was using some sort of essence of something from like a mountain spring or something like that. And they put that in here. Maybe. I don't know. But like, there's got to be the good stuff in here. Right, guys? There has to be. Well, he's like, no, he probably like, you know, it's staying. He's like, he's like, oh, yeah, it's probably it's mountain. I don't know if this is what he sounds like, but he's like, it's mountain spray. It helps me last longer. But really, he's just sneaking off in the bathroom.

doing a little squirt squirt with some delay spray more than likely allegedly allegedly he's doing stuff like this we don't know but we're assuming I spray it around the house it gets everybody in the mood they know that something's about to happen everybody knows everybody it gets everybody in the mood

You've been warned. It's going down. The dog gets under the couch. Uh-oh, it's about to go down. Yeah, and it's going to be a while. Delay spray. The pleasure is ours. Biting off more than you can chew. What is like the most, like, I feel like it's when you're like in college, you were like taking on like a lot of classes or something, you know, you're like, I'm just going to cram 16 credits. I

you're going to do 16 credits in one semester. Yeah. I was like, maybe I try to go to school for 35 years. Let's really concentrate on one class at a time. I should really concentrate on improv this semester. Yeah.

I should really concentrate on creative writing and improv class this semester. I'm actually going to take creative writing again. But Adam, you need to take basic math because your math grades are so low. I'm kicking that can down the road. No, I don't. What do you want me to do? Bite off more than I can chew? Come on, baby. I think I've never bitten off more than I can chew. I take that back. Probably work stuff. I think work stuff is... Yeah, it's work. It's definitely work, bro. I'm talking to the demo, the college demo.

We're still young. Well, you can say side hustles is probably like, you know, hustles and side hustles is where you bite off more. When you said work, I didn't know what that was. Side hustles? Yeah, I was like, wait, side hustle? Like if I'm selling my bracelets while Ubering people and running Postmates? Your charm bracelets? For sure, Adam.

Let's see Adam's coffee real quick. Maybe this is a biting off more than you can chew situation. That is a large glass. Never sleep. And it's late at night. That's what caffeine is for. Yeah, guys. As we know, it is my birthday today. I went to... Happy birthday. My birthday. Good to find out. Note to self. You texted me earlier. I know. You son of a bitch. I went to Metallica last night.

So doing this podcast, I might have bit off a little more than I could chew. I do have to wake up at 5 a.m. Oh, why? On the Sabbath? For work. I think of my friends. You probably are the most big biting friends I've got. Like I recall. Remember when we were shooting Game Over Man and in the middle of shooting the movie, you hosted the MTV Movie Awards? Crazy. That was truly insane. Yeah. I don't even remember doing it really. Like, yeah.

I mean, it just all happened so damn fast. It was insane. Yeah, we were shooting Game Over, man. And then all of a sudden, I'm hanging off a chandelier while the stage is on fire and I'm dressed as Beauty and the Beast. Safe. Viacom safe. And what I remember is when we all hitched a ride on your jet that MTV got you back to Vancouver. That was one of the coolest. By the way, that doesn't just happen. We partied as if...

That doesn't happen because it doesn't happen. Right, yeah. And we were partying, and then we turned, and you were just curled up in the back.

Taking a snooze. Just a little baby bear. Not in a negative way. In a, guys, maybe I bit off more than I could chew. I bit off maybe more than maybe I could chew, maybe. Maybe. That's a good saying. But I still chewed it, still swallowed it. And that's what you were doing on the plane. You were just digesting. You know what I mean? Sometimes it's tougher. Like when you take big bites, you can get through them. I think that's a big part of this is you can get through that caramel. You can get through those big bites. Absolutely.

Hey, don't bite off more than you can chew that those people maybe aren't... Losers. Yeah, maybe they're losers. Yeah, they have no teeth. Maybe they're not biting enough. Maybe they're not hungry enough. Dude, they could be scared. They're too scared because of all that caramel. They're afraid it's going to get stuck to them. Is the new saying, if you're afraid of caramel, bitch...

Step aside. Step aside. There's big bites happening. Yeah, someone else with a big bite. Sit your bitch ass down. Caramel's a bitch. Caramel's a bitch, and then you bite. Then you bite. We got it. We finally got it. We're not done, but we already have it. We cracked that code. Caramel's a bitch, and then you bite. Man, it almost kind of sounds like... It rolls off the tongue, too. Wait, what is it? Caramel's a bitch, and then you bite? As much as you fucking want.

And then maybe, and chill while you're digesting. Just chill. Yeah. Okay, so we're adding more to it. Caramel's a bitch. And then you bite.

And chill while you're digesting. That's good, man. That's fire. The pleasure. I think maybe that fucking phrase might be biting off a little more than it can chew. Yeah. I would say that it kind of goes with one of my very favorite sayings that I ever heard is, how do you eat an elephant one bite at a time? So that has to do with when you're... I say that every day, dude. You say that every day? I say that every day. The first time I ever heard that saying was...

right now. Yeah, I don't know. Kyle made it up. I say this phrase every day. Well, yeah, now that you're like, oh, my favorite saying and then Kyle says he says it every day. It's Kyle made that saying up. Well, I always like it. It resonated with me because it is about having a very, very large problem. You can't eat a whole

elephant one bite you might be biting off more than you can chew right but you can get it eventually if you just nibble at it well maybe okay or maybe that we just scrap don't bite off more than you can chew or the digesting the caramel or whatever the fuck we just said and we just segue or into how do you eat an elephant one bite at a time okay that's a great phrase i mean yeah let's trademark that shit let's put on a t-shirt the pleasure uh

How do you eat caramel? How do you eat caramel? A little bit at a time. A little bit at a time, safely. How do you eat a truck of caramel? You open the truck. You open the truck. You get a spoon. Now that you're mentioning caramel, I used to have a huge issue with eating mozzarella sticks. I would eat them way too fast, and I would choke on them. And in numerous occasions, I did it once at Chili's, and once at this place called the Iron Skillet, where I ate...

I ate the mozzarella stick so fast and I was choking. Oh, because the string, you swallow it and it goes down. Yeah, and I reached down into my mouth and I barfed all over the table. Oh, my God.

But I loved mozzarella sticks so much, my mom would always buy them for me. For sure. And I could never help it. I had to eat them so fast. Oh, my God. So you would just shove them down your throat and just let them sit there. Yeah, and I'd be like... Like hot dogs. Like a hot dog eating contest. So wait, you...

You wouldn't chew these mozzarella sticks? I would try, but they're so delicious. I would swallow them and the string would still be attached. Yeah, exactly. It's like when you swallow something and you go like... Pull the spaghetti back out. Yeah, it's so stretchy and delicious. It would get caught in my throat. But you also didn't have to throw up. You just...

were kind of a bitch about it, I think. No, I threw up because I was choking and I would reach in my mouth to grab it out of my throat and that would set off my gag reflex. Exactly. You're not truly choking. Well, I was scared. Wait, what do you mean? It sounds like he was. He had poorly chewed mozzarella sticks in his fucking

It's like when you go to the doctor, they do the tongue depressor. You're not choking, but it's hitting that trigger. Dude, a tongue depressor is much thinner than a mozzarella stick. I'm sorry. I mean, I eat big mozzarella sticks. He's not choking on the stick. He's choking on the string of the cheese, correct? Well, he said he just shoved them in his... I plead the fifth. Blake, if I may, Blake. Oh, see, I plead the fifth. Who?

I plead the bitch. He was showing, he shoved him down his throat. Several at a time. He's saying that he was chewing it and swallowed before he had disconnected it from the piece that was not in his stomach. Correct? Busted. So you bit off more than you could chew. Exactly. But he didn't chew. Hey, when you're biting, chew. That's it. If you're gonna bite. Chew the damn thing. No matter what you're eating, just chew it. Yeah, no matter how big the damn bite, chew it. Nothing to it but to chew it.

It's got to be caramel. Nothing to it but to chew it. If you're taking a big bite of caramel, you got to chew it. Well, suck it for a little bit, actually. Now that I think about caramel, you can probably get away with sucking it for a second. We talking about those sour apple suckers now? Slurp my caramel. Oh, dude, exactly. Exactly, Wonders, bro. Sour apples. I swallowed a tooth one time eating a caramel apple. It came out when I was in second grade. Did it come out in your poo-poo? It must have.

Or it's still in there. Oh, he doesn't know. Or you got a little tooth showing in your tummy. Yeah, that's fine. I could see Ders having just a little tooth on his liver. A little tooth baby. Yeah, I do have that vibe. You do. Actually, that makes so much sense. Like, that makes so much sense. Yeah, you see that now? Now that you're saying that. It's answered some shit.

Oh, yeah. Right. When I heard the don't bite off more than you could chew, I initially thought of, because I was thinking, you know, sexually, I initially thought of that scene, remember in Shawshank Redemption, where like the dude's like...

you're gonna freaking suck on my dinger that's the only part i remember and then like tim robbins is like if you stab me in the head my jaw will close on your penis and i will bite your dick off and you're gonna need the jaws of life to get my mouth off of you i don't remember that part i i kind of do you're like ringing a little bit of a bell over here like the sisters come into like the laundry room and they all like strap them down and they're like we're gonna make you

suck it and then like they got like a screwdriver to his temple and he's like yeah yeah yeah just so you know if you jam that in my jaw will lock the reflexes yeah that was always like when a kid was about to get beat up by like the biggest kid he'd be like I'm gonna I will bite your jugular if you lay a hand on me and it's like so much just lay a hand on me

Yeah. I will cut your Achilles tendon and paralyze you for life. I will break the C6 vertebrae. I will unleash so much pain. I will find you. And you're like, bro, you should just run.

Just stop talking about shit you've seen in movies and run. Yeah, you know what he would say? He's like, I will take this part of my hand and I will hit your nose up into your brain causing certain death. The internal bleeding will be unstoppable. And you'll die immediately. In two months, they'll find out you've been dead the whole time. But go ahead.

make your move. And the dude's like, he's like, let's leave him alone, man. No, he just throws him into a toilet or something. He doesn't have a father figure. Next time. Yeah, of course. The whole thing we're talking about is horrible. It's a bad situation on all ends. It's just bad dads.

yeah it all comes down to bad dads hey dads don't bite off more than you can chew and have kids okay if you can't chew your kids don't don't have them don't buy them something to that effect right you get the metaphor yeah this is a parenting metaphor now yeah carmel's a bitch and then you got kids carmel's a bitch and then you chew carmel's a bitch you gotta chew and then chill while you digest

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