The Pleasure Is Ours: "Practice Makes Perfect"
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Oh. Oh. You already know. Oh. Oh. The pleasure. The pleasure is ours.

So here we are. Here we are. The pleasure is ours. Brought to you by Trojan America's number one condom brand. Trusted for 100 years. That's a long time. That is a long time to put your trust into something. I wonder like when they first like brought condoms out.

When like a hundred years ago, were they like, whoa, like this just like blew the lid off of it? Or people were like... I got to say, I bet everyone loved it. I bet people were super hyped. I bet as soon as like... Because you're in these like little, you know, towns, villages. Sure. And all of a sudden, everyone's just itchy. I don't know. I'm not good with history. But a hundred years ago, everyone's in caves. Yeah. Like yurts.

People bathe in boiling water and usually die. Yeah, you're in your clay hut. Yeah, you're in your hut or you're like, you know, you're in a, maybe you're in a castle and you are, it's medieval times and you are in your armor and stuff. And then they're like, you finally get your chastity belt off. Yeah. And you're like, oh my God, guess what? When I go to battle, I wear my armor.

So when I battle in the bedroom, I strap on a condom. And then he goes, well, we call him Trojan. Trojan, which is like, you know, Trojan horse. It had to come from the Trojan horse, bro. It had to. It just had to. It had to. Okay, so what is today saying? What are we queuing up here today? It's a fun one. It is a goodie. It is a goodie. Hmm.

We're not talking about game time. We're talking about practice. Oh, we're talking about practice? We're talking about practice. You've heard the saying, you know what it is, practice makes perfect. And we're talking about practice. We're talking about practice? Oh.

Practice makes perfect, which I can tell you straight up and down is bullshit. Really? I grew up to that, but go ahead. Tell me. Yeah. I think of one thing because I haven't practiced more than anything than like skateboarding and I practice so much. You're a natural, brother. You're a natural. I am so bad.

That is not even close to true that you've never practiced anything more than skateboarding. I know. It's a lie. You put more hours into directing and editing than skateboarding. And playing guitar. Yeah. Jerking off. You jerk off all the time, homie. But I am perfect. I am perfect at the J.O.,

Oh, you're 100%? Yeah, that's one where it works. Practice does work. Practice does make perfect when you're JL. Okay, you got me. You walked me all the way around in a circle, and here I am. I spinned you right round. Hey.

Hey, did you guys want to talk a little bit about cup stacking? Oh, absolutely. About how much we practice that? Yeah. When I first, not really first met you, but when I was befriending you guys early on, cup stacking was a thing. And Durs, the pleasure was ours.

Yeah, can you explain for the audience? Because probably nobody knows what cup stacking is. What the hell was that? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's still around. No, it's not still hot, though. Yeah, people stay stacking. I saw a video the other day. Cup stacking is where you have, let's see, 11 cups or 12 cups. Possibly. There's no way to tell. A ton of cups. They're in two stacks, and you have to go... You have to do two pyramids of 3-2-1, and then one pyramid of, like...

five, four. It's the dorkiest shit in the world that is totally, totally pointless. Like it's in the world, real world. There's no, it doesn't like translate at least everything else that you do. That's pretty dumb. It translates to something else. Like it's, you're at least, it's at least athletic or you're like, like I hacky sacked a ton.

Hours and hours I practiced hacky sacking. And I did get great. But it was a little workout. I would get a little sweat going. And Adam, great isn't perfect. Yeah, great is not perfect. But it's better. I feel like he's trying to... Yeah, let's get back to cup stacking. I hacky sack too. So I'm not just like a cup stacker.

Hey, don't be ashamed of your cup stacking. Hey, why are we putting it on me? You guys are the ones that bought the cup stacking shit. I wasn't the one with that. Yeah, we must have spent days on this shit trying to do these fucking formulas of stacking these cups. Weeks.

weeks months and also none of us even got remotely good like you see the the kids on the internet that i could do it in like literally under a second they're like yeah i think it's under under three or four seconds is what they were doing okay yeah and we we got not even close you guys we got under 10 i think you guys got under 10 you guys got intense about it it was next level that yeah we used to get in on that shit like late night too because we just smoked stack cups

Like, we never stopped because we lived together. And that's when I knew, I'm going to ride with these guys. This is a fun group of dudes. I also think that was a similar time in our life when we were practicing a lot of, like, Guitar Hero. And I feel like if we put in as much time as we did on Guitar Hero and Rock Band, we might have actually been able to play an instrument. Like a decent band. Yeah. On Rock Band...

I remember thinking like, we've just spent 48 hours playing fucking all these songs. We,

Do you remember how much I played Wii Bowling? I played hours and hours, days of Wii Bowling. Oh, and did you ever get a perfect game? I did at Barney's Beanery one time. Beautiful. They were having like a Wii Bowling tournament at Barney's Beanery, which is like a bar in LA. And I was like, okay, I'll do this. I play Wii Bowling. Bowled a 300. 300.

I'm elated. It's like, oh my God, I have a 300. That's a perfect game. You can't do better. And they go, congratulations. They give me one pint of beer. It was like, hey, that's cool. That means nothing to anyone. And then give me one pint of beer. And I was like, oh. But wait, but we just skipped over it. You got a perfect game. It's bowling. Bowling is the one time when you practice can make perfect.

There we go. Bowling is it. Yeah, that's it. Darts. Darts. How do you get perfect darts? Bullseyes all the time. Is that it? Yes. Okay. Has anyone ever done that? Has anyone ever thrown a game of... No, but you could. No, there's no... You don't win a game just by throwing bullseyes and darts. That's what I'm saying. Bowling is the one... The bowling is it. That's it. No, guys. You can get a perfect 10 in diving or gymnastics. You can pitch a perfect game in baseball. Nope, not real sports.

They're not real sports. Exactly. Yeah, bowling's a real sport. Gymnastics, the most brutally physical sport known to balance beams. Yeah, but that's also judges' discretion. Who the fuck do you think you are? I am! There's many variables. The pins don't lie. Yeah, that's right, Blake. Thank you, thank you, Blake. No, he's not wrong.

I will tell you that. It might be the perfect example of where practice makes perfect. It's bowling, dog. That's it. That's it. And

As a dad, they've changed things for this new generation. And my kid came home saying practice makes better. And I was like, we don't say that here. Participation award. I'm not going to lie, dude. I like that.

But it doesn't sound good. And these things have to sound good. Just because of the alliteration? Yeah. No, I hear that. I do hear that. And I think you should live your life by alliteration. Someone had a different one. It was better. It was the same sentiment as better, but it was like practice makes practice.

I'll circle back. Potential winners. Yes. Practice makes potential winners. Okay. We'll put that on the board. That has potential. That has potential as a winner. But obviously, it doesn't mean you're going to get perfect. It means like your practice is striving for perfection. You're marching towards it. So I guess when you're practicing at a young age, we practice a lot, right? If we're saying practice is jerking off. Yeah.

Is that what it is in this case? Is that what we're saying? Are we saying practice means jerking off? Because practice, you could practice anything. Bro, if you're saying practice means jerking off, then you're just like, I got to go practice. Well, okay. Well, that brings up a point. Okay. So it's because like, I guess like when you're having sex with someone, is that a scrimmage? Is that a practice? If it's not your wife, like, are you practicing? Like, what are we practicing to get to? Oh, I see what you're saying, Blake.

The J-O is the practice and the game is the sex. I think that's the scrimmage. And then when you're finally having sex with your wife, that is the game. Like once you get married on your wedding night, that's game. You've been training your whole life to have sex with your eternal partner as well as you can. You just want to pleasure them. I mean, the more you practice on one other person, the better it's going to get. Yeah.

It's true. No, I feel like there are... We're very close. We're very close. There are partners that you have...

at some point in your life where you know neither... You know that you're not going to... This isn't going much far. You're a booty call. It's not going to go much farther than that. And you both know, hey, I'm practicing on you. You're practicing on me. We're both getting better at this thing called sex. Right. There's always that cool relationship where you guys are just like, yo, let's just check some stuff off the list. Let's do some things together that maybe...

Is it legal? We haven't done before. Maybe it's illegal some places. Whoa. Not here.

Not here. Not that it's illegal here, is it? I don't think so. Not in this state. What state are we in? Yeah, no, but I think like when you get those things out of the way, that way when you're finally with a person who you really love or you want to impress, you don't look like some weird rookie fumbling around with handcuffs or a gimp mask or whatever. What?

Wait, what are you into, Blake? If for one moment you look like you've never either put a gimp mask on someone or wore one yourself, you're immediately laughing. Yeah, I know how to strap a ball gag on because I've done it before. I've practiced. If you can strap a ball gag on with one hand, people know this guy can fuck.

And maybe make you disappear. I don't know. I don't know. This isn't exactly where I thought this was going to go. What are you practicing? If you practice, I guarantee you could get a ball gag on your face with one hand. I bet. I bet. And that's perfection. I've never practiced that. Dang. Well, I mean, dude, oh, that made me think of that. Remember that really cool YouTube video of that girl who was like,

really awesome at suck a dick. She was like, the girl was like, YouTube video about it. Yeah, where she would make this noise. And then they spoofed it in Girls Trip, kind of. She was going to work on, what was she, she was sucking on something. I think it was a dildo. Tiffany Haddish in that movie? Yeah, exactly. They just did that. I can't remember.

what it was, but that's the other thing. There's techniques that require some practice. Yeah. Some time to really, you know, you got to learn how to definitely in the bedroom. You do need practice. This does make a lot of sense because nobody rolled up to their first time having sex and was like, I'm perfect at this. I don't know. These, these kids, these days, these tick tock generation. No, because the sensation is unlike anything that you could practice.

I don't know. I mean, I'm just speaking for myself. I was so bad. Top reasons your career wants you to move to Ohio. So many amazing growth opportunities, high paying jobs in technology, advanced manufacturing, engineering, life sciences, and more. You'll soar to new heights, just like the Wright brothers, John Glenn, even Neil Armstrong. Their careers all took off

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which admittedly that's what i always messed with i was always like give me that thinnest i want to feel that good good you do want to feel it that is nice when you're having sex with a condom yeah the older i get the less feeling i have in my penis and i just need the thinnest condom possible you have less feeling yeah why are you because you jerk off with sandpaper yeah it's just getting numb down there yeah well here's some good news raw is 10 thinner than bearskin original get the

Wow, really? That's a big percentage. It helps you kind of enjoy a more natural experience and feel it all, which is what I mess with. It's silky smooth, lubricant to increase comfort and sensitivities. Yeah, man. When I put a condom on my wiener, I want to forget that I'm wearing a condom on my wiener. You know what I mean? I agree, man. But also no. But also no. But also no. Also, you feel safer. But also no. K-N-O-W. I want to feel safer.

And I want to forget I'm wearing it. That is absolutely right. Like a comfortable seatbelt. I gotcha. As always, Trojan is triple tested and trusted for how many years, boys? Over a hundred. Over a hundred. That's a century. Over a hundred. Release the bear. That's good. It's not a bearskin rug.

It's a bear skin raw. Guys, and I realize when you hear the word bear, you think naked, but we're really thinking about the forest animal. Release your inner bear. When you got that bear skin on, you're coming to the plate like an animal. Adam's a bear cub. We all know that. We love that. He certainly is. Wow. Get grizzly with it. Wow. Oh. Bitch better have my honey. Feel your best. Get yours on.

Let's talk about our first times having sex. No. Seven years old. Sure. Start it off, brother. I was 17, I want to say. And so was she. And we were, it was immediately following a Blink-182 concert. Okay, nice. So the mood is right. We were staying at a hotel. So yeah. So then I put on just totally, not even thinking, I put on all the small things.

By Blink-182? Sure. Because we just went to the concert. And then as I'm having sex for the very first time, I realize that it's all the small things. And you're a young dude, so you don't even know, like, is my dick big? Is it small? I don't really know where I'm landing. I have no clue. And then so I go more like all the medium things, right? Like, as I'm inserting. And she goes, what? You said that joke, right? When you were losing your virginity? Yes. And then she's like, bro, what? And I'm like...

Cause the song and she goes, okay. And then, and then I already kept come and then I had already come. You came to your own joke. It was, it was in the midst of fall flat. More like all the medium. Adam stand up. He used to climax every time at an open mic. And that's why I had to keep doing standup because practice makes it perfect.

Boom, boom. Now I finally don't jizz during a set. Thank goodness, dude. It was getting really disturbing. I ruined a lot of Lucky Brand jeans early on in my career. Well, that's the thing, though. But were you trying to prep yourself before you actually lost your virginity? Were you jerking off with...

a purpose and intention that like you wanted to last longer like did you guys ever do it to where you know kind of bring yourself to the edge and then like what back down again as a well as a teenager sure that wasn't before losing my virginity that was after i found out i needed some of this trojan delay spray all right but it hadn't been invented yet yeah but yeah you would try and uh you know whatever but

stop yourself, which is like, what the fuck is that? What is that? Like I built it up a lot in my head and I'm like, I want my first time out the gate. I want to be like pretty good, but it just never, there's nothing like the real thing. Yeah. I feel like it's, you're going to fumble the ball no matter what your first time or, or you're too nervous that you can't come. And then, and then that the girl's like, are you, do you hate me? And,

An animal? I love you. Marry me. Right, right. No, I mean, that doesn't happen, right? Everyone just comes way too soon. Yeah, that's not even in my thought process at that time. But the cool thing about like, all right, so let's say you meet this girl and then you're dating. You get in that zone where it's like, oh, we're doing this all the time. We can practice together as opposed to like new partner, new friend.

Sure. New thing that they're into, new way they feel. So that's the good way to practice is to just be like, we're in this together. That's what I'm saying. The more you practice with one person, the better it does get. That is right. Practice makes better. Yeah. And that was my move, especially. Also, I remember thinking like the first time I had sex.

And then she allowed me to have sex with her again. Like how mind blowing that was that it was like, oh, now I'm just going to be a person that has sex now. Right. Like now it'll continue to happen. I'm just picturing you walking through the halls of school. Like I'm fucking now. What's up, dude? Me. I'm just fucking from time to time. What was I doing this weekend?

I'm fucking now, guys. Hey, next weekend, I'm going to be fucking, I think. You make me cum. The official soundtrack. Meanwhile, she's walking down the halls like this. Don't tell anyone I had sex. Please don't tell anyone I had sex. Please don't.

It's over. It's over if you say anything. Yeah, no, I definitely walked down in my friend's basement after it had happened like the next day or whatever. And we got back home, went to my friend's house. Everyone's hanging out in his basement shooting pool or whatever. And I go downstairs and everyone looked at me and they could tell. They were like,

What's up, dude? Oh, you had a glow. I think I was glowing. I was like, I like floated down the stairs. How did you guys know? Hey, can I tell you something? You think you were, had this air about yourself. They all had cups up to the door and were listening to the entire thing. Cause that's high school. And you're like, what do these in there? Yeah. They're like, bro, that was so funny. You said all the medium things. Oh, go, go, go run, run, run, run. Oh, we're just playing pool down here. What were you doing? Yeah.

Well, no, they weren't even, those guys weren't even at the concert, dude. So, nah. See, not true fans. You also said you were at the hotel, right? I was at a hotel, yeah. You got a hotel when you were 17? Yeah, dude. How? I had an older friend. With a credit card? She got the hotel.

Oh, so she was like encouraging this. Yeah. That's pretty cool of her. Oh, yeah. Wow. Yeah, man. She's rad. She was on the team. No big deal. We also got in trouble because we tried to grill using a charcoal grill in the parking lot. And they're like at the hotel and they're like, what the fuck? You can't do this right here. And you tailgated your virginity. We tried to tailgate. Oh, my God.

Free game. We're just in the parking lot drinking beers and then, yeah, I'm just going to go do the damn thing, man. Well, hey, guys, I told my story. How come there's no... that no one is throwing up their story? I'm the only one with the cool story here? I think so. Yeah, pretty much. I mean, I gave enough of an insight into mine that I was not more than 30 seconds. It was not. Even with a condom on, it was like...

And I'm done. I will say it was a Trojan. Yeah, there we go. Mine was too. I'll say that. Mine was too. And I remember mine was like a thin, I don't know, whatever. It was like whatever thin version they had in the early aughts. Yeah, like the bear skin or whatever. Yeah, whatever it was. And they've been around for 100 years since the beginning of civilization. I remember thinking I'm going to have to recalibrate what kind of condoms I have.

Because I bought like a ton of condoms before. I was like, okay, I need to have the right condom. And then I brought like a variety pack. It was like bare skin. Yep, so it'll feel – so I know what it feels like. And then immediately was like, I need a tarp. I need a thick tarp that I can strap around my dick so I don't feel anything so I can continue. But now they got this delay spray, so I would have been good to go.

I know. You can get doused in it. Must be nice. I feel like when I lost my virginity, I recall music as well. I had one of those, you know, those CD players that had like 50 CDs that could interchange? Like it had the rotating CD? Oh, yeah. A carousel, I believe, is what it's called. Yeah, I definitely put that on random. Like, oh, I've got 50 CDs in here. We got all night, baby. Not a good idea. Yeah.

What, did Weird Al come on or something? Just Dare to be Stupid came on, and then that's when I busted. Oh, you and Adam have similar stories. It's the Laugh Club. It's the Laugh Club. Yes. Our virginity was a big joke. Yeah, big joke. And that's why we're still in comedy to this day. Comedy. Hey, it's in our blood. I was hooked.

Turn on me stupid. So what... I guess when you're talking about sex and you're striving towards perfection, what is perfection as far as a male having sex? Well, I think it has to be you both...

orgasm, which by the way, does take decades of practice. That is true. This is true. You can crack that nut. And when you do, it is good, baby. Yeah. Yeah, baby. I don't know. Sometimes I'm like, I don't even have to come. You know what I mean? I'm like, tonight's not my night. Okay. Is that real? He's a giver. No, no, I wish it wasn't.

No. I mean, did you even know perfection when you're in it?

Or is it something that you look back at the end of your life and you're like the one that sticks out? You're like, that was it. That was it. Yeah. I think like while you're in it, you're thinking like, wow, we're both doing a great job here. Right. But then cut to 10 years later and you're like, you think back on it. And the one that you have in your spank bank that rises to the top, you're like, that was perfection. I had no idea I was even in perfection. I'll never forget that guy.

Yeah, that was my Michael Jordan flu game. That was my COVID-81. Yo, you should see this guy fuck on the flu. So in that version, you were really, really sick. And I fought through it, and I still gave a hell of a show. Well, if that's the one he remembers 10 years later, I guess. You were having, like, fever dreams? Yeah, I just think it's cool when...

For me, sexual perfection is when you defy all the odds, you never give up, and you still get there. You know what I mean? It's like the odds are stacked against you. Yeah. Well, also, sometimes you got to give up. You got to give up. Sometimes you got to know when to just let everybody go to bed. Yeah, leave them alone. We've been at this for... This ain't happening. I think we're good. It's not working. I'm going to sleep out there.

yeah we'll try to get in the morning okay i'm gonna go in the room and uh and practice real quick and i promise i'll come back for a better next game we're talking practice practice makes perfect so i mean is it just that practice makes better is your is your son's elementary school teacher right well because what we're talking about is like are we talking about

reaching perfection or getting better at something like what's what's even being what's better or is it just like well i don't think that as far as happiness i mean sex goes if that's if that's what we're talking about which i think it is uh there's no such thing as perfection like i think no i think there is pumper there is there is perfection there is perfection

But every person has their own bar. So here it is. Practice is pointless. Yeah. I was being genuine. What are you talking about? Practice is pointless. Get a real sex doll. Yeah.

This episode was brought to you by Trojan, America's number one condom brand. You can get any of Trojan's products that were featured in this episode like Bearskin Raw, Ultra Fit, Ultra Thin, and Delay Spray online or at any major retailer. Do your best. Get yours on. Hear that? Pumpkin.

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