Hannah Brown & Adam Woolard on Getting Engaged, Tortured, and Followed by Paparazzi
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finding out where you live and then

following us. We were holding hands like right before like we got on the street but they caught us I guess. What is it like being engaged to someone that was on The Bachelorette? Did you watch the season? No I still haven't seen it. I don't know it's just like do I want to watch her making out with multiple guys?

What's up, dudes? And welcome back to the Unplanned Podcast. Today, we have some very special guests. Hannah Brown and Adam. Thank you guys for coming on the show. We appreciate you being here. Thanks for having us. Yeah, they just got engaged pretty recently. I was looking at your ring. You did an amazing job. Thank you so much. That is really great.

Wow. That is a beautiful ring. He did really well. Did it? Mostly himself. I didn't know what he was going to do. We went and looked at rings. We were in Tuscaloosa, Alabama, where I'm from. My brother had just gotten married, and they were picking up some type of wedding registry, something from the jeweler. I was like, oh. I was looking at the rings. Yeah.

I was like, well, I haven't tried them. I was like, would you just want to try them on? And they're not like, there wasn't many to choose from, like maybe like four. Oh, yeah. And I was like, I just want to see like what even size I am or whatever. There was one that was a three stone. Okay. They didn't look like this exactly, but I never thought I would want that. But the way it looked on my finger, he was like, I think that looks really nice. And he must have really liked it because that's what he ended up getting me. Was it really? That same ring? No. No. Similar. Just a three stone. Tell us about the proposal. First of all, did you even know it was going to happen?

Like, were you surprised? I hadn't thought about it, really. Just had a lot going on starting the podcast. We were also working on this other project. There was just a lot happening and my anxiety was super heightened in a way that hadn't been in a while and was really trying to like just kind of keep that at bay but was not doing the best and I like had this like

freak out conversation. I don't know what's wrong with me. Are you sure you want to be with me? Like this, which mind you, this happens like every, every quarter, every quarter. Yeah.

But, you know, this was on this Monday of when he was planning to repose. And I was just like, yeah, I've just been talking to my therapist. And she said, I shouldn't make any big life decisions right now. Just, I don't need to do that. And you're listening to this. She's saying this on a Monday. I'm planning on proposing on a Friday. Oh, my gosh. In one of our favorite places, Bolt Farm Tree Houses in Whitwell, Tennessee. Yes. And he had told me we were, I hadn't been putting two and two together because I was so in my own.

Just thought we were going on a trip. Yeah. And meanwhile, he like can't sleep knowing that I've said all this stuff. And he was like, Hey, I just like, I really want to talk about something. I was like, Oh my gosh, this is about last night. I was like, trust me, I feel so much better. And he's like, well, yeah, like it is. Um, you said some things that, you know, you're like asking questions.

what is love? And, you know, saying that your therapist doesn't think that you need to make any big decisions right now. And I feel like it's only fair of me to let you know that I'm planning on proposing on Friday. And I'm like, wait, I said, no, you're like, my crisis was averted.

And now there's another one. And so then I have a panic attack that night. So then I messaged my therapist literally like right after we're at dinner and all caps, I need counsel. And I felt, you know, she was asking about how it's feeling. And I was like, it's not that I don't want to get engaged. I just am in this weird space and,

She's like, well, what if you just say that to him? And I'm like, well, I mean, I kind of did. And he then messages me and is like, okay, like I'm going to cancel it all. And I was like, oh, great. This is, I feel bad. But also like now I know what's going to happen. So like I can be like ready whenever we do something.

But it doesn't have to be this weekend. Had you guys talked about getting engaged at all? Or was that like the first time that it was mentioned? We talked about it. We definitely talked about it, you know, halfheartedly and just, you know, just to get a sense of what she would like. Yeah. But that's kind of when we put it into motion, like actually, you know, thinking about it. We want to do this. Yeah. Yeah. We didn't talk extensively about it.

about it. And this was after dating for how many years? Over two and a half. Yeah. Two and a half. Yeah. So then he ended up telling me that everything was not happening. And I said, we're going to postpone things. Like I want the surprise factor to be there because that's, that's what engagement's all about. It's like you want the reaction, you want her to feel good about it. And everything leading up into that point kind of took all the fun away from it. I did have family and friends like flying and driving in from all over the country and

So there was still a part of me that in the back of my head, I was like, yes, we're going to postpone things, but I still want to make it work somehow. So that was on Friday. We were supposed to leave. That's when everything was supposed to happen. And on Thursday...

I just gone to therapy again. I went back to back days. We're doubling up. This has been long. We're doubling up. As he was plotting, he had talked to our friends who owned the Bolt Farm tree houses. They had just had a baby like that week, the week before. And they were going to host like a little party.

And they have this really beautiful barn where they'll have people come. And so I didn't think anything of it. So I was like, okay, great. Like, let's go. I like literally put on like dirty clothes from the floor. And I walk in and I'm like, huh, this is like set up weird for a baby like celebration. And he had planned...

in this beautiful barn and got me there. And this is before your family was in town? This is before, because my family were going to meet them. So this was like the Thursday before and I was so, and I was, I was totally shocked. So we ended up definitely salvaging it, but I also was like, really? Wait, but you just had this whole crisis. So then were you kind of worried? Like, did I just make the wrong decision? It wasn't that I made the thought I didn't make the wrong decision. The whole thing, like I said, it was never that like I didn't want

to get married or get engaged. It was more, I'm in a weird spot right now. It was still beautiful and gray. And I definitely was in the moment. I'm glad there wasn't people around. Cause I could like, it was just us. Yeah. Looking back, I would have done it differently for sure. I'm glad everything worked out. And she said, yes, she didn't freak out, but yeah,

Yeah, there just there was something in me that I was like, I can still make this work and make her happy and bring this surprise factor back. But in the like looking back, really, I should have taken it more seriously. You know, her mental health and like where she was in terms of.

anxiety and her therapy and what her therapist said. I think there was a lot of fear around also just getting engaged. So it was like almost like ripping the bandaid off type thing for me. I think anxiety and relationships has been always something that I've kind of struggled with. Um, like fear of sometimes just taking next steps and things after everything that I've gone through, like anxiety,

for those who don't know, like I was the bachelorette got engaged. And like, I think that was actually like kind of just traumatic in a sense. So I think the engagement and like everything just kind of triggered something so that it happened was great. And that we had it together. And then we had the weekend and,

with our family and friends. And we, we've obviously had to tell them more of the story. Yeah. And then I also think it's been cool to be able to share our story because a lot of times you just see like pictures and videos and it was like this magical moment, which we have.

We have the pictures and the videos of a beautiful moment that looks perfect, but there's this whole backstory that I don't think everybody hears. And there's a lot of women who feel the same way that I do when it comes to, and men may be feeling the same way as Adam of there being, even though it's something you want to do, there's this fear and it's maybe not always like this picture perfect moment. It's exciting to step into this new part of your life and new chapter of

But it's okay to also have other feelings of fear of that. Like it can be both. It can be both. Yeah. As you were telling that story, I was thinking that same thing. Yeah. You can see it all in just a picture, but not know. Like it can be a lot of,

heavy things all at once. Yeah. I realized too with you mentioning The Bachelorette, I was like, I don't think we ever did a proper intro. So for those of you guys listening, Hannah Brown, if you don't know, Hannah Brown was The Bachelorette. She won Dancing with the Stars, which is super impressive by the way. And then was just also on Special Forces. So I can't imagine like

Having so much of your life public and then doing the Bachelorette, you know, dating all these people and then you have that engagement on the Bachelorette and now this is going on. So like, I guess now that I'm putting the pieces of the puzzle together, I'm like, that makes sense why you would have so much stress around this moment. I'm curious, like how much of...

how much of being on that show was like real versus like television, you know? Cause I feel like you're aware of it being TV or were you, I don't know. I was such like so innocent going on the show. I would say, um,

I really thought that this is like a door that God was opening up for me and this is how I was going to meet my person. Like, you know, people meet on, we met on dating app or meet, you know, all different types of ways. So why not? This is just the way that this is going to happen for me. As far as,

it being real, I wouldn't say it's staged, but there's a lot, it's a TV show, so there's a lot of production and play producers that are trying to make a good TV show. And you're cut off from the outside world, so you don't have your family, your friends to kind of do some pulse checking and just really asking, what do you want? Is this who you really want to be with?

how are you feeling? Like you have that, but it's all in a store. It's for a story. You can't have that all. You can't like talk to your siblings and be like, what do you think about this person? Like you have a producer to talk to. But it's on like TV and it's,

It's different. Oh, so if you are able to talk to them, they're going to record it. Yeah. No, that's so weird. So you don't, you're cut off from everyone and they also are hearing everybody else's, you know, little stories. So it's like, Ooh, okay. This person's feeling this way and this person's feeling this way. So let's make this happen. Yeah. They can, they have like influence. They have influence. So I,

I don't ever like to say it's not real because it is real, but there's a lot of forces at play that are just not the same as real life. Okay. So the producers, are they trying to basically be your friend and then influence decisions that you make? 1,000%. And I don't, I always try to be careful. It's not that I don't think that producers didn't care about me at all, but they also have to

It's their job. To make good TV. To make good TV. Yeah. So when I first went on, I was like, oh, I don't think my person's here. That's so scary. Now I'm the bachelorette and I have to do like, I don't remember, eight, nine something weeks of this. And then you're at the...

end of it and it's like I'm supposed to get engaged kind of like knowing you're going to get engaged but like is it going to happen like I think all those feelings kind of came up again but in that moment being like am I making the right decision I don't know I think everybody's telling me I'm making the right decision I'm still not sure because I just broke up with a guy two days ago and I have to break up with a guy today and get engaged today that's really weird so it's just I

a lot of emotions and conversations and things at play that are just not normal. And I think it can be triggering, um,

when you're put in similar situations without all those other outside things happening, but you feel that again. And I think that kind of happened for me. Yeah, like that influenced your engagement. This episode is sponsored by Rocket Money. It seems like there's literally subscriptions for every single thing. Isn't it annoying? Everything is a monthly service. Sign up for our subscription. It's like, I don't want to do that. And then I forget about it every single time. There's literally a bacon of the month club. What? Yeah.

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Stop wasting your money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and manage your money the easy way by going to rocketmoney.com slash unplanned. That's rocketmoney.com slash unplanned. rocketmoney.com slash unplanned. Back to the episode. What is it like being engaged to someone that was in the public eye in that exact way like on The Bachelorette? Yeah, it's been a journey for sure. Also, did you watch the season? Yeah. Were you watching all that? No, I still haven't seen it. Okay. And I don't think I would watch her season. Yeah. Okay. Okay.

Maybe at some point. I don't know. It's just like, do I want to watch every episode of her making out with multiple guys? Yeah, also, did you watch it back? Or is that like... I watched it when it was happening. I mean, I was there and then I watched it when it aired. I want to watch her on The Bachelor. I want to see her on Colton's season. I mean, she doesn't have a whole lot of airtime, but I think that would be more fun than watching...

Yeah. I think there's... So you haven't seen either? No. Wow. I mean, I've seen clips and, you know, I get tagged and stuff every now and then. For that, just like on YouTube or TikTok or whatever. Yeah. And I mean, I've seen most of her Dancing with the Stars dances and I watched all of Special Forces. So I mean...

I'll go back to the bachelor days at some point. Does that make you uncomfortable having so much of that time of your life like public, just completely out there and you can't really control that? The dating stuff. Yeah, I think so because I think there's a warped view of me in dating and love because like maybe I responded and reacted in ways that I maybe wouldn't have if it wasn't that it was a TV show. Not that I knew it was a TV show. It's just my

my friends weren't there to be like, what are you doing? And editing does a lot, I feel like. And editing, for sure. So I think sometimes I can get a little self-conscious about it, being like, oh, wait, why do people like me? Or why are people still interested? Is it a piece of who I still am? Or is it a piece that's long gone or a piece that just happened recently?

And this editing that kind of made me look this way. I think that can be what's hard for me. Do you feel like people got an accurate representation of who you are as a person on The Bachelor and on The Bachelorette? I think I was definitely like authentic for everything that was at play at that time. But I don't think a lot of the things and the ways that I reacted, responded, had conversations or anything that would actually happen. Yeah.

In real life. And I think I got an accurate representation of me at that stage of my life. I was 24. I was the youngest bachelorette. Wow. So like, and just my life before I was very sheltered, lived in a small town, Alabama, never left. I went to school. We know a lot about sheltered. Yes. That's us. That is us. And then I went off into LA and had this, and I felt like I,

I thought I found myself and actually had a world opened up to me, which I think was amazing and I'm so thankful.

But that was the first time that had like opened up for me. And so that was all like captured on camera too. And it's like, if you could go back and do it all over again, would you, would you have gone on the bachelorette? Would you change the past? Or do you feel like because of the life that you lived, it's made you who you are today? No, I'm, I'm like, I wouldn't have not gone on those shows. I think there's been a lot of benefit, not just, not just career wise, but like obviously, but like,

Like I said, it opened my world up in such an amazing way in a lot of instances and circumstances. And it also was the first time that like anybody really asked me about how I felt was like

from a producer on a TV show. Like I, I'd never had anybody like ask me how a certain thing made me feel. Producers are there to like, you know, be your friend and, and help you in some way, kind of understand what you're feeling. Cause only so much, you can see a person like make a, a face or, you know, if somebody is being asked, you know, on a day and you really like that person, you can see somebody just be like, yeah,

you know, happy for the person, but having someone then sit you down and interview and like, how did you really feel? And it's like, how did I feel? I feel really disappointed because it reminded me of this, that maybe like, I'm not always picked. I sometimes feel like I'm not always chosen. And it's, it's making you think that way for the first, I never like thought like,

Oh, you know, I would be like, you know, I was disappointed, but everybody gets disappointed. And it's like, no, but like, why did that make you feel disappointed? And I'm like, because I didn't get picked. And it's like, have you ever felt like you weren't chosen before? And it's like, wow, that's maybe.

Maybe, yeah. Maybe there's more to this. Yes. That was the first time I'd had any type of conversation like that in my life. And those are my favorite conversations to have. And I think where you learn the most about yourself and others. And it was really from that show. And I came back home and my mom was like, wow, like I changed so much and like really was more of an insightful person.

from it. Yeah. It almost sounds like it's a therapy session that they're recording. Like when they interview you, like I've never thought about it that way, but hearing all those different storylines that they pull from in the TV show, it makes sense now how they do it because they, they really go deep and get you to open up. So I'm sure that was probably like,

nice for you to do that. It was helpful to like talk out all of those feelings and express that. But then to have that shared on national television must be, must be weird to be so vulnerable. And then it's just all out there. Totally. But then in that same breath, I think because I learned how to have those conversations and be so vulnerable and

Yes, it was weird watching people see that. But I don't think we would have met if it wasn't... Or connected if I hadn't learned how to...

have those types of conversations. Because he's seven years older than me and also had gone through his own, like, you know, growth and change and journey with himself and understanding more of what he believes and who he is. And so I think because we have both kind of understood the importance of having those vulnerable, insightful conversations to create connection is how we were able to connect. And in a way, if that hadn't happened, I would have...

not known how to really show up authentically as myself. Yeah. And more on how you guys met, you said you'd met on a dating app and you being a public figure, did, did you recognize her? How did that work? She had a very familiar face, but I had no idea who she was. Um, but I, I Googled her like 45 minutes before our first date and saw a bunch of YouTube videos of her doing, um,

She was basically doing a series on her getting back into the dating life after the bachelorette. The videos almost scared me off. I mean, they were... Oh, my gosh. Her going into the bathroom and being like, oh, my gosh, this guy, this is not my guy. It's

The food's good, but I'm going to go back in and see what happens. Stuff like that. Did you make a video like that on your first date? I didn't make it. I had my eye on her phone the entire time. When she went to the bathroom, I was like, let's leave that phone there. Yeah. I had thought about it, but honestly, as soon as I met him, I had also had a long day of other videos. Oh, really? I'm tired. I was your second date of the day, right? No.

You were pulling two a days. I was pulling two a days. You were speed dating. You were trying to meet all these different guys. It was fun. Wow. I was loving dating at this point because I had just taken the pressure off of it and I was like, I'm just going to go back out there and...

either know me they know me they know me if they don't they don't I really don't care I'm just gonna try to just like show up authentically and we met um at this little Mexican restaurant that was right in the neighborhood I like biked there and I just had a you know you know YouTube malfunctions my camera was um overheating and dying and I was just stressed I was trying to do like a

another type of video and I was just irritated at the day and we had talked and he had planned this date and I was like, can we move it up? Um, I need a drink. And he was like, yeah, sure. But how about this time? And I ended up still being late and I, I rode my bike over there, like no makeup on. Like I just, it was a really like I was being myself just a mess and

And I remember I got there and I kind of saw him from the side. I was like, Oh shoot, he's really cute. And I had like a beanie on my head. It was around this time of year. And I was like, okay, trying to like get myself ready. And I came in just like so flustered and he's so calm and just has more of like a calming energy. And I think he was just amused by my frazzledness. And I think I pretty quickly was like, okay, I don't know if I'm going to record this one. Cause I kind of like, like,

like i knew when you were recording the date or just like you're i would go in and like when i would start a video like just you know my phone be like okay i'm going on a date meeting this guy at this restaurant he seems really cool but we'll see how it's gonna go and then i would go we would have the date and then i would have to go to the bathroom and then i'd be like okay so here's all that happened but i knew like and like during the dinner a film crew would come and like

No. It would just be vlog. You were making content out of these dates. I would just vlog the dates. Okay, be honest though. Were you going on extra dates because you're like, this is kind of a fun series. No, I was kind of mad I met him because I was like, this is fun. This was really fun, good content. And she still tried to keep doing it.

I mean, I don't know if you're... No, I just wanted to date more. You're like, I still want to date, but I think in the back of your mind, you're kind of like, I want to date more so that I can continue my YouTube series. Totally. That's a good series. I feel like that must be really entertaining to watch. It was a really good series, and I wanted to keep dating more people. I mean, think about her followers. They were eating it up. All the girls rooting you on. Yeah. Dump him! Yeah. Yeah.

But then I met him and I'm like, shoot, well, like, I don't need to like put out a video about him because then he'll, if I want it, because I was like, I kind of want to go on another date with him. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. The gift giving season is upon us. It is upon us. I feel like.

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Help H-E-L-P dot com slash unplanned podcast. Back to the episode. So you just messed it all up in any way. I never made another video after. So, you know, Hannah being a TV internet personality, how did that make you feel going into this dating thing? Did you guys decide, okay, we're not going to show our relationship on social media for X amount of months? Like, how did you navigate all that? Did that make you uncomfortable? I would be lying if I said I wasn't intimidated. I

At first, I was definitely intimidated. I didn't know anything about that world. And honestly, like she kind of coached me through it. So like we would get we would ride bikes together and I would we would, you know, be leaving each other and I would go to give her a kiss on the cheek or something. And she'd be like, no, no, she'd be like, not not here, not here. Just because like being on the I remember that distinctly being on the Santa Monica boardwalk. Yeah.

She was like, no, I'm not doing that here because someone was probably watching and going to take a picture of that. And then if it got out, we just weren't at the stage in our relationship yet to handle a lot of scrutiny or just eyeballs. Yeah, and I think it was hard at first. I remember I would share on social media, but I would never show him. I would be doing something. We would be doing something together, but I would just show me. I could tell you were a little like,

Well, just because I had never experienced it before. Like, I'm very... I was... Like, if I think something, I'm going to say it. If I want to do something, I just, like, I just do it. And, you know, thinking through actions and words to that extent, I just hadn't experienced before. Yeah, and... But I think you...

to understand why. But it was weird at first when you're dating somebody and they're like, why don't you want to share me or why are you being weird in front of other people? Because in a lot of circumstances that could be like a red flag. 1000%. Yeah.

I think I've also tried to like tell him pretty upfront, like, trust me, like it's very hard when you're like starting a new relationship or like in a relationship to have a lot of people like chime in just personally, because then I'm going to be like, Ooh, what are they saying? I don't want to be with him or whatever. And I didn't want that to be anything that, um,

weighed my decisions because I already had anxiety in relationships of just like who do I want to be with do I want to be like actually dating someone I just wanted to date around you know so I didn't need anybody else to question or look into things like because it's it's weird because like someone could get a hold of a 13 second clip of us not like being super lovey-dovey and like

putting a lot of attention on each other and be like, you guys aren't right for each other. They're not right for each other. You need to be with someone that you left in the past. And like, I'd be lying if that said that didn't affect us, especially during the beginning. It affected you probably more than me. It affected me for sure. I was like, we don't have to be done. Do you want to touch me right now? Like, you know, like I think he wanted to make sure people

that we liked each other. And I'm like, we don't have to, and I get it. I'm like, but we don't like, we don't always have to act like we're this couple that has, we're just like totally obsessed with each other. And like we are, but it's okay. People are going to say that,

Things about us regardless. They're going to say you're either too clingy or they don't have any connection or, um, they're perfect for each other or they're totally wrong. Like that's always, there's always going to be those different types of opinions out there, but it's hard on that level for sure. So then how long did you wait to go public with your relationship? We actually didn't even plan to go public. We went, we were walking on, um,

Abbot Kinney, like on a rainy, it's Abbot Kinney. It's like in Venice, Santa Monica area. It's a pretty like public place, but I don't even think we normally held hands. We, I remember now we had parked at the end of the street and we were holding hands like right before, like we got on the street, but somebody must have, um, like a paparazzi, which it's not that I always have paparazzi, but I guess when it comes to like dating and stuff, um,

had followed us and saw that we were holding hands right before we got on Abbott Kinney. There was a whole paparazzi episode about them staking it out and finding out where you live and then following us. Yeah. Because we weren't being like, when we got on the regular, pretty open, there's lots of people.

of people on Abbott Kinney. Like we weren't holding hands. We were just like chilling and laughing, but they caught it, caught us, I guess before. That's great. Yeah. We have so many problems with the pop rock. They just come after us. So annoying. I mean, we don't, there'll be like random things, but, um, yeah. So that kind of,

That's weird though to just like be out in public and someone snaps a photo of you. We've never had that, but it is weird. Like I'm sure you probably had a fan that was maybe taking a video of you in public. Like we've had that happen in like Disney and we, I just, every time I see people, I just like wave at them. I was in the awkward stage of pregnancy and it was the first time like I was in a bikini and

And people weren't taking pictures. Oh, that's the worst. Literally four feet from me. I was like, maybe not doing that would be great. But that's kind of bizarre. They kind of took your story and made it public when you weren't necessarily trying to do that. Yeah, we didn't really decide when. But it had been a good amount of time, I feel like. But then we just kind of slowly started showing our relationship and...

It was also a COVID relationship, so it started pretty... Oh, okay. We could only do so much. I remember that was a big day we got to go out. Yeah. So a lot of our relationship was...

at each other's place or like even on the beach was kind of weird back then in Santa Monica. Like you couldn't always just be outside. It was very weird. So we got close really quickly. - I wanna ask you, what was it like telling your family like, you might have seen her before, this girl that I'm bringing home. Like you might know a lot about her. Did they have any kind of reaction to that? - I don't think so. I just, I think my mom and dad thought it was cool.

Um, did they warn you at all? Like be careful with this bachelorette girl. Not at all. They're just not, I don't know. They, we don't really have those kinds of conversations anyway, but it was, it was more just like, cool. Can't wait to meet her. Yeah. Um, and then my brother who I lived with, my younger brother, um,

We lived together in Venice. He was down from the get-go. I mean, he was like, she seems cool and can't wait to meet her, like all that kind of stuff. Elise was a fan of the show. Yeah, my sister-in-law definitely knew who she was and was super excited about it. Other than that, my family doesn't get overly excited about anything. No. Just chill. So they were just like, cool, can't wait to meet her. Bring her for Thanksgiving or Christmas. Love it.

But it'll be funny now. Like his dad will keep up with things and be like, I saw you did so-and-so. My dad is like number one fan. Yeah. That's so funny. Yeah. So now they're more into it for sure. You must be pretty good at dancing since you like literally won Dancing with the Stars. You have a dance background, I'm assuming? I danced when I was younger. Yes, growing up. But I feel like it's so weird. I have like a complex with dance, which I feel like a lot of people do. Even though I won, I still sometimes don't think I can dance. Why?

I know it's weird, but...

Yeah, like I can have rhythm sometimes, but I also can be like super stiff. Yeah, I guess I can dance. Was that show so nerve-wracking? Because I think that we both have like backgrounds in dance from being like... Yeah, from TikTok, you know? No, from like being kids in dance class and doing theater and stuff. Yeah. I would be so stressed thinking about learning something on... You learn on a Monday and perform it on a... No, you perform on a Monday. You start learning. You would start learning on like the...

Tuesday. That's... Whoa. We perform on the Monday. And sometimes two dances. And then it's usually sometimes two, three dances. Wow. And you have the huge live audience, which would almost be more stressful to me than the fact that... Because you can kind of separate, like, it's just a camera, even though it is being broadcasted to so many people. But, like, that's so... It was crazy. Were you stressed out? I was so stressed out. And I think after everything...

I, um, in a year I was on bachelor, bachelor, right. So like I was on like 30 something Mondays of, of the year on ABC. And so it was right after bachelor, bachelorette and it had not gone right. And I was like, and I just,

That's all I did. I just went to my like little apartment that had like nothing in it in LA and danced. And then the dance for like eight hours a day. And talk about nerves. Like we went and saw Matt James dance. And before like seeing them on the side of the stage about to walk out, like my heart was going like, yeah, I can only imagine what you went through every single night. There's like these little clicks that started. It's like,

Because the crowd's so loud and that's like... Oh, you have a click track in your ear. No, but they'll have it, but you can barely hear it. That's to let the dancers know, okay, it's about to start because it's so loud in there. Oh my God. Sometimes you can barely hear the click. So you don't know which click you're on until you're like, okay, I just got to be ready. And yeah, there's no doing it over anything. You see the dancers and each of them kind of...

prep differently. But some are like super frantic, can't stop walking. Some are just like stone cold, just like breathing, almost like closing their eyes. Like people handle it differently, but you can feel the nervous energy. Today's episode is sponsored by SeatGeek. We have recently become sports fans. Yes, we like going to Suns games now. Yes, and we've been looking to find the best deal on Suns tickets. Yes. And oftentimes we find ourselves scrolling through SeatGeek because they just make it so

Yeah. They have tickets for every event you could probably think of. We've looked at tickets for musicals on there. We've looked at tickets for sporting events, for like any kind of sporting events. Coyotes, Suns, Cardinals. The musical that we went to last year, I think you bought those. Bought those.

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Oh, yeah. Now back to the episode. But it was... I mean, it's such a cool experience. I'm so glad I got to do it. Oh, yeah. I would love... I was not, like I said...

a lot was happening in that year. Um, that was before I knew how to cope with big feelings. So that's why I think I just really went into like, I have to win. I have to do this, which I did, but I don't think I got to fully enjoy the experience the way that I would have loved to just like, it's such a cool show. But when you're so scared and tense and just want to win, because you think that's the only thing that matters, um,

there's a part of it that you can't fully enjoy. So I would change that or I'd love to go back and be able to do that again. But it was really fun. Yeah. Your determination is something that stands out to me. Yeah. Like you saying like, I have to win. I had to do that. And I feel like that carries on to you being in the special forces as well. Like that's crazy. Your mental. Well, she wants, you want special forces. Yeah. Yeah. I do really well in, which is not like real life. So I,

A lot of these things that I've gotten to do are reality TV because they are real. Everything's real. But it's not real life, these experiences that you go through where you don't have a phone. You're cut off from all other responsibilities. I do great in anything where it's like you have one focus and you do this thing. And I'm like, I can do this. It's really easy for me.

I hate to say it, it's totally dissociation. I can dissociate from everything else except for the one thing. And I think that's what has helped me probably now looking back at all my trauma, some type of trauma. I think that's my coping mechanism is to just be able to focus on one thing and do that very well. And in these shows and experiences, I was able to

So I think that's part of it. But I do think there's a resilience of in every single one of those situations, I had some pretty low lows and being able to be like, all right, well, this is what we're doing right now. And we're going to figure out a way to get back up. And so I think there's a resilience there that I'm trying to remind myself of.

That it's not just the, oh, I can dissociate. It's like, no, you have resilience and that's how you've been able to get through some of these really intense experiences. Didn't you get interrogated for 12 hours straight on the show? Yeah, it was like 10, 12 hours. I don't really know how long. That was pretty tough because it's not like fully... The interrogation part of Special Forces, it's like the very end of the show was 10 days.

And the last day they keep you like fully sleep deprived and you have to learn this like whole mission you have to do. And it's like fully, we were out in the Jordanian desert, like have to run three miles through the desert while you're being like chased by dogs and there's helicopters and there's this whole thing. Then you get captured. They capture you? You haven't slept for a day. You get captured and that's when you start having to go through the interrogation plus like...

What is it called? I don't want to say torture, but it kind of is where you stay in like stress positions and you have to listen to like really horrible like sounds, right?

10 to 12 hours while you're being interrogated and stuff. What are these sounds? Is it like a frequent? Babies like crying, like colic. No. Me literally crying. Mothers screaming. I say mothers. I think that's what I, but like a woman like screaming bloody murder. No, I. Metal scraping together. Oh my gosh. That like sound, like that really horrible dial tone sound. And then like a pig. It was like a pig.

pig eating it sounded like it was really horrible oh my god while you're standing with like your hands up for an hour straight and then they would put you down on the ground with like your legs flex so like this is tight like laying down or crisscross that's that's literally horrible I would be and you have you can't see because you have a mask and a thing on so I would just be like

And you're so tired so that you're falling asleep and like waking up and I would just be crying and just be like, this will be over soon. This has to be over soon. But it was really tough. Are these real challenges that special forces are through? They had to do it for 24 hours. Oh gosh. So it's everything we did. It gave me like a big appreciation for people that are like in our special forces. But yeah,

We did only a small amount of what they have to do. Wow. But it was the hardest thing I've ever done, for sure. Which challenge was the scariest or most difficult? That was the most difficult for me. It's interesting. Everybody says things differently. Like, the interrogation for a lot of people was hard when they have to, like, remember the story that we learned, like...

you know, the day before about why we're getting captured and how to, cause it's all a simulation of like what would happen if you got captured by the enemy. Yeah. And these types of things would happen to you. Like that part, I was able to handle myself pretty well. I have a pretty good memory. So I remember, I knew what I needed to say and,

kind of kept really in control but it was those sounds that really bothered me the most actually um it just like got in my head a lot and i was so tired and then you have to like keep your hands above your head and i just felt like i was going crazy yeah that was the hardest for me for sure was there ever a moment that you felt like you were going to die um i kept telling myself

this is being capped. There are cameras, there are cameras somewhere, even though I can't see them. I can't die. I can't, they're not going to let me die on TV. That's what I kept telling myself. I was like, because I thought I could. So I'm like, Hannah, they're not gonna let you die on TV. They're not gonna let you die on TV. That's what I just kept telling myself. So I couldn't think that I was going to die. There were times I'm like, my body feels like it's about to break and I don't want to do this anymore. But

I'm super impressed by that because I feel like people can see, oh, like the bachelor, the bachelorette, like they don't have to work hard. They're not like determined or hardworking. Well, and you're also a pageant girl too, which comes with its own stereotype. I feel like people just assume, oh, that's not that hard. But it's like, it's clear that that's not true based off of...

Like, you won it. Yeah. You won special forces. Like, you had the stamina and determination to go through something that literally special forces people are put through. You know what I think? I think it's definitely the mental stuff. Like, physically, I think it's also knowing you weren't... I knew I wasn't the best there. Like, off my performance. Like, going in. Where a lot of these are, like, Olympic gold medalist athletes, professional athletes, and I think they're used to being...

and know what they're doing in their certain thing. Where for me... Like the top in their area. Yes. I've always been judged by other people on things that you really can't control and never, I guess, had that feeling of like...

I went in knowing like, oh, I don't have the... All the things that you think are going to make the best in here. So I think I came in with like a humility about me of like... I know that I'm not the person that has all the like qualities on paper that you're like, oh, can do this. But I've been in this type of situation before. And so I'm just going to like just keep going. And I just...

The only way they kick you off is if you quit. So you just don't quit. Yeah. So you can't quit even when you're the worst. And I think sometimes it's like when people would start failing, because you would fail parts of the course, different tasks. Like people failed and you could still, you would still say, but I stay. But I think people who were in that experience when they failed and would get like beaten up, they had an experience that maybe, um,

in that type of way or hadn't in a long time. And then with the mental exhaustion that you just have from the environment that you're living in, it can just be like too much. Yeah. I don't know. I just, I was able to just feel like, I guess this is my life now. I don't, I'm not going to remember that I could like go be in a nice bed right now. Like this is how I live. This is, this will be the thing. And,

When did that all get filmed? Last June of 2022. And you guys weren't in contact, able to contact each other? Oh, gosh. Was that hard for you to watch the show and see Hannah going through all these really challenging things? No, it wasn't? Because we knew that I did. You knew that she won. Yeah. I knew she won, but also I just, I don't know. He thought it was so cool. I just know how tough she is, so I wasn't worried about her durability or anything. Yeah. If anything, I was like,

you know, I kind of knew that she was going to do well. Maybe you and Hannah, Abby should do a Spartan race because have you done Spartan race before? Have you done it? Abby loves those. They're so fun. She's like, this woman does like CrossFit. She's so, Abby's jacked by the way. I don't know if you probably, Abby's very jacked. Do you do CrossFit? I,

I used to. I don't do, I literally don't even do it right now. But like, I don't know. I feel like I see a similarity there. Like you guys could totally do some sort of CrossFit. I did start doing CrossFit after the show. And because I was like,

this has shown me that I am capable of doing more than I thought I could. But also, like, there were some strength things that, like, I just didn't know how to do. Like, we had to climb a rope, but I didn't know how to climb a rope. You kind of have to know how to do that. CrossFit will teach you that. They teach you. And that was one of the first things I was like, I have to learn how to climb the rope. And I can climb the rope now. Push-ups, I can do, like, pull-ups, I can do, like, one. I'm still, like, working on that. But...

That's why I wanted to do it. But that's still a whole different beast in itself. Like I'm still 1000% the worst person at our CrossFit gym. Hey, real quick. We wanted to let you guys know our new merch is here. And it's not just new. It's our first ever podcast merch. It says what's up dudes. We almost got rid of what's up dudes. And you guys wanted us to keep it. To honor that we made merch. The people that didn't want us to keep it are like no. Like why are you wearing that? But the people that did.

This is for you. This is for you. This is for you. I'm so excited to see you guys out in public wearing this. We'll have to get a picture. Why are you... Are you about to spit your coffee out? What's going on? I just got an intrusive thought so bad. I wanted to just do a spit take. What? And be like...

merch but i can't because that would get coffee everywhere yeah you get coffee on our camera today you are on hinge today i'm rather sleep deprived but i'm sorry is that what you need to go take please talk about this merch again basically all i wanted to say is if we see you guys in public wearing the merch we totally need to get a picture if we see you out and about we would love to get a photo with you be jolly about that yes we're in your whatsapp do you know who else would be jolly anyone

Anyone wearing this hoodie because it's so thick and comfortable. Jolly's my parents. Whenever people say hi to us, like my parents are there. They're so proud. Jolly's like, let me take a picture. Yeah, my parents are so sweet. They are so proud. Yeah, they're the best. Thanks for buying this hoodie. Yep. And you're welcome for the discount. Yeah, you can use code dude10 at checkout for 10% off of our What's Up Dudes merch. Just go to unplannedpodcast.com to buy it. Link in description. Now back to the episode. So we've talked a lot about, you know, TV shows, Blitzkrieg.

literally getting interrogated for 12 hours. That's insane. I still can't believe you did that. But I'm so curious since you guys are going to get married. Yeah, have you started wedding planning? Yeah. Wedding planning. Have you guys talked about how many kids you want? Have you had those conversations? Because like there's a lot of conversations to have. There's a lot of things that you need to be aligned on. And what's scary is like I don't think it's physically possible to talk about everything that you need to talk about, right? Because like people change. We were just talking about that on our podcast the other day. But like

what have you guys discussed before marriage that you're making sure you're on the same page on as far as like kids and all that?

I mean, first of all, when it comes to wedding planning, no, we have not done that. It's just been a very busy season for us. I mean, wedding planning wise, we just need to figure out where we want to do it. That's the first step. We're like either destination wedding or do it somewhere kind of close to home. But as far as... Talking about... Future. Future. I mean, I've always wanted to have kids. I feel like I was born to be a dad. She knows that. I think...

you know, with you, you're kind of, you think about the changes that might happen once kids. Yeah. I think, yeah, go ahead. I just think there's a little bit of uncertainty and anxiety there bringing other, you know, life forms into the world. Yeah. Whereas I'm like, you know, a couple of years away, I think,

We still need to figure out where you are and where we both can meet. I definitely think at some point I want to have kids. I think it's very important for me because there is an age difference. It's very clear

clear that that's not something I'm like fully ready for just yet. There's a lot that I still want to do and it's not that I don't think kids allow you to still be able to do those things but it changes your focus. Totally. I think that there's a way that it can work but I know me. I know myself and I think that's something that I have to

it's very important that we've had these conversations of like, I know myself and I know that I still have some things that I need to work on before I feel really comfortable taking that role as mom. Cause I know I'll take it very seriously. And so we, I feel like he would have a, a,

tomorrow. No, but I feel, but like sooner than sooner than you, but I feel like it's been very clear on my side and he's been able to understand that that is not something that I'm wanting in the next foreseeable future. I really would like to get married and then, um,

have some time to still just be us before that like happens really right away. That's very fair. Yeah. Is there a timeline you guys have talked about or is there like a number of kids that you think you might have sometime in the future? Look, I think what's really hard for women is there is this ticking clock and I'm 29 and I already have some stuff that, you know, we'll have to pay attention to like,

if we want to have babies, like what we're going to do for that. So I think that is kind of putting this time, this time on, on that. I'm really resisting. Um, that's hard, but it's something that we've talked about and I don't look, we're not married yet and I don't want to have kids before we are married. So I think we just have to get married first and then we'll start figuring out what we need to do as far as making sure that, um,

that's possible for us. Um, I try, I can get really like I've said, like I can start worrying and,

things really easily and I just have to keep reminding myself that we are not even at we'll cross that bridge when we get there yeah but we've had a lot of practice we have a dog and he's been he's been you know really good at parenting yeah would you describe yourself oh sorry I was just gonna say no it's weird we have two kids but it does seem intimidating getting a dog because we started talking about it and I was like a dog is a lot

- A lot. - But we only have two babies. - Two babies are a lot. - A dog, heck no, no. - Yeah, that's how I feel, I don't know why. - I actually think it'd be so cute to get a dog for each of our kids one day.

Oh, I like that. That'd be kind of fun. That's a good idea. No, it sounded... Okay, I'm getting the vibe. Like, would you say you're indecisive at all? 1,000%. Okay, because that's me. Like, Abby's a really quick decision maker. I have to be, dude. She just knows. I'm working with you. Like, she makes decisions so fast, it's scary. Like, her engagement ring, it was the first ring that she tried on. She was like, that's the one I want. It was done. He's the first guy I dated. Like, I was like... Like...

So quick. And me, I'm over here like, well, I could do this option. Well, I could do this. And it's just like, I can't freaking make up my mind. I'm the most indecisive person. I feel like you need the balance. You do. If two people are really decisive, I feel like you're going to butt heads. Yes. If two people are indecisive, everything's just going to fall apart. Yes. Yes. And I feel like that's even going back to our engagement. He was like, it's happening. And I'm like, okay. It took off the stress because I could say...

here all day and go back and forth of why I should pick one thing or the other.

So yeah, it's like the timing. And so sometimes I think God just has to come in and decide for me. Someone's got to be the gas to the brake. Someone's got to be the brakes to the gas. But I wanted to ask you, like, what's it like walking through life with a partner that maybe, like you said yourself, you're like, I kind of have a crisis quarterly. Like, what's it like being the partner walking through somebody so intimately like that? Yeah.

It's challenging at times for sure. But I think everything that I've done up until now in my life has kind of prepared me for it. I've been meditating every day for a little over 11 years now. And I feel like that along with my newfound faith has really just helped center me and align me. And I just feel like I'm a little bit calmer more than she is. And

When that kind of like that wave comes through, I just kind of ride the wave and it makes it easier because of what I've done in my past up until this point. And meditating every day. Wow, that's dedication. Why did you start doing that? I think just lack of fulfillment. I felt like my life had become pretty mundane and there just wasn't a whole lot of

just energy or life to it. And I wanted to change it. And meditation was one of those things that I was reading in all these self-help books that was like the consistent thing that all of these people had been doing that brought them a lot of joy. Um,

Um, so I, I read a book called 10% happier by Dan Harris and it was all about meditation and how he had kind of a mental breakdown on air. He's a, he's a broadcast journalist. Okay. He started meditating and he just basically said the whole premise of the book is meditation made him 10% happier. Um,

So I kind of took that and ran with it and started meditating every day. And I just saw things open up for me after doing that. And how does one meditate? Like, what does that even look like? It's changed a lot. So, I mean, there are definitely different modalities you can go down, but a lot of it is just, you know, five, 10, 20 minute focus meditation. You focus on your breath, a mantra. You can literally sit and stay a prayer. You can sit and stare at a

a light. I mean, there's so many different ways you can do it, but a lot of times it's me sitting down with my eyes closed, listening to meditation music for 20 minutes. Oh, okay. So it's literally like you can just do 20 minutes. It's not like you have to do a two hour long meditation. Right, right. And I have been there. I mean, I definitely went down the rabbit hole of meditation and I've sat through some long meditations, but yeah, 20 minutes every morning, just, you know, witnessing my thoughts come up in my brain and then coming back to whatever I'm focusing on.

I will say you give off a very peaceful vibe. Yeah. For sure. And then there's me. You're like, I'm crazy. I can see why you guys work together then. Like it just, it just fits, you know? I think we should meditate on,

Honestly. Honestly, yeah. You're inspiring me. I'm like, I really need to start meditating now. I feel like I'm a little high strung and crazy sometimes. Yeah. You can admit it. Yeah. But it's funny, even you just saying what your meditation looks like, I'm realizing there might be things in my life that aren't technically meditation but might give off some of those same benefits that meditation would give off. Like if I'm stressed, I'll go and ride my one wheel. It's like an electric skateboard and I'll just listen to EDM music for 20 minutes. Yeah, yeah. That might not be the most relaxing thing but for me like- EDM and meditation.

Meditation music is probably pretty different. It makes me so happy though. I don't know. Well, I mean, anything that brings you into the present moment is what I consider meditation. So I mean, I do jujitsu every day. Ooh, that's cool. You can't think about anything other than surviving. Wow. So that is a form of meditation to me for sure. Jujitsu. That's like pretty intense, right? Very intense. Are you sparring with other guys and just basically trying to take each other out? Pretty much. That's cool. I want to try that.

Come try it. That sounds awesome. I feel like I've always wanted to be the tough guy. So if there's ever a situation where someone that I love is threatened, I want to be able to take someone down. That is the only reason I do it. Yeah. I want to be the superhero in a situation.

She's like, yeah, not that I'm like aggressive. I just want to know how to like practice self-defense if I ever needed to use that. So that's, that's really cool that you do that. Yeah. Very cool. Well, Hannah, I know that you have a podcast that you just launched recently as well as a new book. Do you want to tell us more about those exciting things happening in your life? Yeah. So I started my own podcast in,

It's called Better Tomorrow with Hannah Brown. And like we kind of talked about, had this like really intense few years of my life where I grew up a lot and kind of started having these more insightful, big conversations, but also like big life changes and didn't really know how to handle all that. And for the first time in my life, really started having bigger conversations, going to therapy and just trying to figure out, like I've always worried, been a little bit

uptight about some things. And then when that all happened, it was like, Oh, how do I not feel like this all the time? Just so I listened to this podcast one day and it was, this guy was, I think it was Oprah's podcast. He said to ask yourself, you know, am I better today than I was yesterday? And ask yourself that every day. And I was like, Oh my gosh, I'm doing this. And I had a post-it card and I put it in this hallway mirror that I walked by. And I would, I would,

see it every day and ask myself like that question and it would make me take an account of what was happening that day. Did I really up level in some way? Did I feel more inspired and encouraged? And some days it was yes, which was awesome, but there would be some days that it was no. And by taking that account, it really allowed me to not have another day that was followed up with another no. Because I took that small step

you know, a few seconds, a minute or so to just like assess what could be a little better, what could have been a better decision than I can make going into the following day. So that's where I came up with the idea of the podcast is having conversations with people who, um,

what decisions, what life changes did they go through that got them to this better tomorrow? And, um, it's been really, really awesome to be able to have a platform to have longer form conversation and really get to connect with not only my guests, but with, um, my community in a different way. Cause I mean, there's so much noise out there. There's so much, um,

or things that we can do that just kind of numb us. And so what is it that I can really give a value to those people who are taking the time to, you know, spend 30 minutes an hour with me and like, yeah, can, can,

can I make sure that I'm being really responsible for that time and making sure they feel better than they did when they press play. So that's like the whole goal of the, the podcast is to just make people feel a little bit better than they did yesterday. And then, um, with that, I've been working on a book for a while now. Um,

I've written a book that was nonfiction about my life. I call it like my quarter life memoir. And that was amazing. And that was in 2021, 2022. That's a really big undertaking to write a whole book. That was really hard. And this is now fiction, which was, it's always been my favorite. I grew up like

being an avid reader and loved romance. So this is a rom-com. It's called Mistakes We've Never Made. And I'm really, really excited for people to read it because I have done my market research, I can say. And I feel like it's everything that makes up an epic summer read. And I'm not a full-time writer, so I definitely...

found a great team that helped support me and made sure that all the thoughts and my ideas and everything that I wanted from these characters was made possible and on the page. But it was such a collaborative experience and it was, it was so fun to have. It was actually just a group of women that we all worked together to make sure that this is like everything you want in your next summer read on the beach. It follows, um,

Emma, who's kind of a little bit type A, a little uptight. And she is trying to help her friend Sybil, who was a runaway bride, not make the mistake of her life. And she has to find the help of her once enemy, Finn, who broke her heart. And they had a lot of different almost in their relationships.

or relationship in their past and then they have to come together to kind of find Sybil and along the way might fall in love. Wow. I can't wait to read it. Abby's a big bookworm. I love fiction. So she, I feel like Abby will definitely be reading that book on the beach. No, it's really, I'm very proud of it. A lot of hard work went into it. I think Emily Henry type book. Cool. Like people we meet on vacation type vibe. So yeah,

It's awesome. It'll be out May. May. 2024. I've got to ask. There's been some books. Abby's read some rom-com books where there's like a sex scene, like every page. Is that this book? Yeah. There was one book you were like, Matt, this one is like, I cannot read this around my mom. Like it was insane. So there's definitely some steamy parts. For sure. Yeah.

but it's a gradual like thing it's not I know you're talking about it's tasteful okay and I think it shows every part of a relationship and falling in love I saw your cover art yeah recently it's like such a cute book to put on the shelf it's very beautiful I know it was important for me for it to be a really pretty cover that caught people's eye and

It's like a beautiful watercolor kind of Grand Canyon. Maybe there might be something on the road trip along the way that kind of was important place in the plot of the story. So, yeah, it looks really good. And it's definitely got the pretty pinks and watercolor look. But yeah, it looks Adam, have you read the book?

Not yet. I'm going to buy it on the shelves like everybody else. Okay. Wait, do you have a launch date? Yes. It's May 7th. Okay. That's super exciting. So you can pre-order now. Nice. You can get it wherever books are sold. Pre-orders are great. So that would be really awesome for people to support. Wow. And I'm so confident in the product that I'm like, you're going to love it. Is it finished at this point? Are you like wrapping things up? It's finished. Yes. Wow. We're actually working on book two. Wow.

Wow. Yeah. So started that, that will be, we have, we have a while for that before that one comes out. But yeah, it, all the editing is, it's getting crisp. It's all, it's there. Yeah. Congratulations. That's super exciting. Hannah Brown, the podcaster, author, special force. And so are you going to be joining the special forces now that you like, you know, won the TV show? I know I respect the heck out of them. I,

really admire what people do to serve our country but I don't know if I can do that again. And as always this is where we say peace out dudes to end out our episode. 3, 2, 1 Peace out dudes!