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cover of episode 188. Mind Reading 101: To Know What Your Audience Thinks, Just Ask

188. Mind Reading 101: To Know What Your Audience Thinks, Just Ask

2025/2/25
logo of podcast Think Fast, Talk Smart: Communication Techniques

Think Fast, Talk Smart: Communication Techniques
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Matt Abrahams
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Matt Lieberman
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Matt Abrahams: 有效沟通的关键在于跳出自我思维的局限，关注对方的视角，并保持谦逊的态度。只有这样，才能真正理解对方的想法和感受，从而实现有效的沟通。 在沟通过程中，我们往往会不自觉地将自己的想法和感受投射到对方身上，而忽略了对方真实的感受和想法。这种情况下，沟通往往会变得低效甚至无效。因此，我们需要努力去理解对方的视角，并尝试站在对方的角度思考问题。同时，保持谦逊的态度，承认自己并不总是正确的，才能更好地倾听和理解对方。 Matt Lieberman: 有效的沟通需要跳出‘perspective taking’（试图揣测他人想法）的模式，转而采用‘perspective getting’（直接询问以获得对方视角）的方式。因为在‘perspective taking’的过程中，我们往往会不自觉地将自己的想法和感受投射到对方身上，而忽略了对方真实的感受和想法。 ‘perspective getting’则强调直接询问对方的想法和感受，从而获得更准确的信息。这种方式能够避免误解，促进更有效的沟通。此外，在沟通中，我们应该认识到，自己对他人想法的揣测并不总是准确的，尤其是在涉及抽象概念（如政治、意识形态、宗教）时。因此，我们应该保持谦逊的态度，承认自己并不总是正确的，并积极寻求对方的反馈。

Deep Dive

Chapters
Mind reading, while a remarkable human ability, often falls short in truly understanding others. Instead, "perspective-getting" through direct questions leads to more productive conversations. Accuracy and clarity in communication require asking and engaging, not assuming.
  • Mind reading is a human ability to understand others' thoughts and feelings.
  • Perspective-taking is good for empathy, but not for understanding.
  • Perspective-getting (asking questions) leads to more productive conversations.
  • Fidelity (accuracy and clarity) is key in communication.

Shownotes Transcript

How to really know what your audience is thinking.

To be a great communicator, you have to get out of your own head. But that’s not all, says Matt Lieberman). According to him, you also have to get into the head of someone else.

“Mind-reading is this remarkable ability that humans have,” explains Lieberman, a professor of psychology, director of UCLA’s Social Cognitive Neuroscience Lab, and author of Social: Why Our Brains Are Wired to Connect). But even as we engage in perspective-taking, Lieberman says our attempts to mind-read often miss the mark. Instead, he advocates for “perspective-getting” — where we don’t just intuit what others think, we ask them directly. “That is where more productive conversation comes from,” he says.

In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart), Lieberman and host Matt Abrahams explore insights from social neuroscience that can help us communicate more effectively. From understanding how our brains process social interactions to recognizing our own assumptions, he reveals why successful communication requires both humility and genuine curiosity about how others see the world.

Episode Reference Links:

 

Connect:

Chapters:

  • (00:00) - Introduction

  • (02:14) - The Social Brain

  • (05:15) - Neuroscience in Business

  • (07:14) - The Science of Persuasion

  • (11:46) - Social Pain & Connection

  • (15:04) - Tackling Loneliness

  • (17:56) - The Final Three Questions

  • (24:01) - Conclusion

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