never say never
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So it was announced about a month ago that I'm going to be acting in my first movie. And this is a huge plot twist, okay? Pun intended. It's a massive plot twist in my life. To all of you, because you've all known me for my entire career as a YouTuber and podcaster who's themselves. That's what I built my career on. But it's also a plot twist to me, okay? I didn't pursue a career in entertainment because

to one day be an actor. That was never the goal. In fact, I remember when my career on YouTube really started to pick up and it became time to sort of build a team around me.

managers, agents, whatever. And I remember being in meetings with agents and them just saying to me, so you want to be an actor, right? And I was like, no, I want to be a YouTuber. This is not a stepping stone for me. This is the final destination. I want to be a YouTuber. And I remember being so frustrated. Like, why does acting seem to be the final destination? Like, what's wrong with just being a YouTuber? And I became very stubborn about this.

And I feel like these early experiences in my career of being told that I should be an actor, that that should be my final destination. I feel like these moments made me stubborn and completely closed off to the idea of acting. And so for the last few years, I've been like, I'm never going to be an actor. I have no interest in acting. And

and leave me alone. You know, like I just want to be myself. That's what I built my career on. That's what I want to do for the rest of my life. I don't want to pretend to be something else.

That goes against the entire ethos of my career thus far. And stop trying to tell me what to do. That's the other thing. I'm very rebellious. And when people tell me what to do, I tend to do the opposite. So I think it wasn't helpful that in the very beginning, I was told I should be an actor. I was so closed off to the idea of acting that I said I'd never do it. Like that was my answer to the question. Like if I was in an interview and I was asked, would you ever consider acting? My answer was no, absolutely not.

And now I'm going to be in a movie. Okay, so what happened? Right? How did that happen? Well, that's what we're going to discuss today. Okay, how I went from saying never to saying yes. I briefly pause this episode to let you know that this episode of Anything Goes is presented by Temptations Cat Treats.

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being told that the ultimate goal in entertainment should be to be an actor really made me angry. It bothered me. And I really don't think that these agents meant any harm. I really do think that they're trained classically to be like, well, digital entertainment, modern entertainment is a stepping stone to traditional entertainment. You know, this is all that they know. This is the world that they live in. Acting being the pinnacle. And

I do not think that they were trying to insult me or steer me in the wrong direction. I really do genuinely think that they just couldn't comprehend the idea that being a YouTuber, being a podcaster, being yourself is a sustainable career.

You know, I think it's at the time it was so new, it was, it was incomprehensible. But as a 17, 18 year old, I was stubborn. And so this sort of pissed me off. And I eventually did get an agent who completely understood my dream of just being myself and that being my job. And we have a beautiful relationship. I absolutely adore this woman. She's still my agent to this day.

And then as my career progressed over the years, I started getting asked more and more like, would you ever act? Would you ever act by journalists and interviews and actors and directors in this industry that I meet at events? You know, I started getting asked more and more being asked in a in a more sweet sort of way like that made me rethink it again in a less rebellious sort of way.

And I came to the same conclusion, but it was a bit different. I didn't want to be an actor, not because I was rebelling against agents that told me I should. I didn't want to act because number one, I wasn't passionate about it. Also, I grew up watching YouTube. I didn't grow up watching movies as much. I absolutely watched movies and I absolutely adore movies, but I actually have a complicated relationship with movies.

I often sit down to watch a movie and I hate it and then I feel trapped. And so there are a lot of movies that shaped me as a child, shaped me as a young adult, have seriously moved me that, you know, I'm obsessed with. But I don't know, like my relationship with movies has always been complicated. And

Growing up, I watched YouTube because I didn't have cable until I was like 15, maybe 14, 15, maybe 12. I don't know. But anyway, I didn't have cable television. I went to the library and got DVDs, which, you know, sometimes I get movies and stuff. But I ended up really loving YouTube. And that became my main source of entertainment.

And in a way, the way that a lot of young people feel about movie stars, I felt about YouTubers. The posters I wanted to put up on my walls were not of Brad Pitt and Leonardo DiCaprio. I wanted to put posters on my wall of Rhett and Link, the YouTubers. Do you know what I'm saying? I grew up passionate about YouTube. I just never felt passionate about

movies. And so that was one reason why I didn't want to act. Reason number two was because I didn't want to get nepotismed in. Now, I'm not a nepo baby, okay? My parents are not famous. They're not in the entertainment industry. They're not in actually any industry that would benefit me in my career at all.

My mom used to manage an electricity company and then managed, like she was like a manager, an office manager for different companies. My dad was an electrician and then later became a painter, okay? I did not benefit from nepotism. However, in a weird way, I have my own form of nepotism with myself, okay? Because I built a career on YouTube and...

And now I'm a public figure. In a way, if I were to want to enter into another industry that's adjacent to mine, acting, music, theater, Broadway, like all of these different forms of entertainment, if I wanted to enter into those industries, it's going to be much easier for me to do that now than it would be if I was just starting from scratch. Right.

Right. So technically, I'm not benefiting from nepotism. Technically, I have arrived at the place that I've arrived to completely on my own. But if I wanted to enter into another space, in a way, I kind of have nepotism. But it's just my own. It's nepotism from myself.

Okay. I already have an agent. I have a team. I know acting agents. I know directing agents. I know writing agents. I know these people. I've met them all. You know, like I have connections now that could allow me to get involved easier. And that really bothered me as well because I'm...

I take a level of pride in the way that I've built my career sort of from scratch. And the idea of using that to potentially get opportunities easier in other areas bothers me.

And last but not least, I know how cutthroat acting is. I know how brutal it is. Memorizing all these lines, you know, doing a self-tape, sending it in, getting rejection after rejection after rejection, doing 40 self-tapes, doing 50, going into 12 auditions a week, getting rejected, rejected, rejected. And the thought that I might take the place of

of someone who is dedicating their life to this craft, like it made me sick. And so I stood really firm in that for a really long time. It doesn't make sense and these are all the reasons. I had a very solid perspective on it. So how did I get to the point where I was like, all right, I'll try it. I'll dip my toe in.

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How did I go from that to saying, okay, you know what? I might actually try this.

Well, weirdly, it started with my interest in fashion. This was completely unintentional. I love fashion. I'm obsessed with fashion. I'm passionate about fashion. I have been for many, many years. But in my late teen years, I really started to get involved. I got invited to my first fashion show in Paris, Louis Vuitton. Going to that fashion show expanded my mind to the possibilities. It...

Going to that show exposed me to a whole other dimension of fashion that I had never even paid attention to. You know, the world of haute couture. You know what I mean? I'm never going to speak with a French accent again. I'm so sorry. That was horrible. It was horrifying. Hopefully I don't get casted in any roles where I need to do a French accent because that will happen again. And that's not good. I started going to fashion shows. I started working with...

you know, these very fancy designer brands. And I grew this love and passion for the art of it all. And that led me to doing more editorial photo shoots where I'm wearing wigs and doing editorial makeup with, you know, eye looks that are colorful and, you know, wild and

wearing these runway pieces and posing in weird ways for magazines or even for my coffee company. I really fell in love with doing these sorts of editorial photo shoots because

And I never really thought about why I liked it as my love for it was developing. But in retrospect, it's clear to me that I loved getting to be a character. There was something so sort of cathartic about it for me because I had built my entire career thus far on being myself. And

Once I got over the cringe element of posing for the camera, I really fell in love with getting to be a character, you know, putting on these outfits, these costumes almost, if you will, and trying to embody them in a way that matches the outfit, matches the

you know, the theme for the shoot. And in a lot of ways, this was sort of acting. It's obviously not acting, but it was 10% of what acting is, you know, putting on a costume and changing your behavior to match that costume. I just grew a real love for this. And I

you know, over the years, I've done more and more of it. It dawned on me at a certain point, probably a year and a half ago or maybe two years ago now, I was like, I love doing this so much. How can I chase this feeling? Like, what else can I do that sort of is like this? Because this is clearly very fun for me. And it dawned on me that what I like about it is being a character, not being myself.

Maybe I shouldn't have said never about all of the acting stuff. Maybe I'll give it a try. And it's interesting because, you know, it was really hard for me to wrap my head around the idea of me giving acting a try, but not being a TV buff, a movie buff.

I was like, is this okay? Like, am I allowed to dip my toe into this if I'm not technically the textbook actor who, you know, is obsessed with watching every single television show, studying every single director? Like, I don't know if I'm allowed to be interested in this. My interest in acting has nothing to almost do with the final product, if that makes sense.

I like the feeling of not being myself. I like the feeling of embodying someone else. And then as I started thinking about this more, it dawned on me that something that I'm also passionate about is analyzing and discussing people. There's nothing I love more than analyzing people and discussing people. I find other human beings so fascinating. And a great example of this is on the weekends, there's

there's nothing I love more than sitting at a cafe and just watching people. I love people watching. I think a lot of people love people watching. It's a very normal human thing to enjoy. We find other humans fascinating, but I will say that I've always been a little bit more interested in other people than say my parents or, you know, my friends. I'm like obsessed with analyzing people and figuring people out, connecting all the dots.

you know, why is somebody like this? Why do they do the things that they do? Why?

What traits are connected? You know, I don't know. Like I've always been obsessed with analyzing people. And a lot of what acting is, is having an understanding of people to the point where if you're assigned a character, you can create that character in your head and then be it. You know, I think me being somebody who loves to analyze people goes hand in hand with acting, right? Yeah.

So it really, I was like, oh my God, what is happening? A few years later,

A few years ago, I'm having these epiphanies and I'm like, what is actually happening? Like, what is happening? I literally, this is the one thing I said I'd never do. Actually, I also said I'd never make music and now I'm learning how to play guitar. So I'm fully just a walk, I'm a hypocrite. I'm a liar. I'm a hypocrite. I mean, I'm not writing any music. I can barely play a song on guitar right now. But I don't know. I was so against doing anything outside of music

my little entertainment bubble, YouTube, podcast, whatever. Like I was so against it that it was really uncomfortable to be having this epiphany that I am actually interested in this thing. And so I started auditioning.

I didn't want to take a class, to be honest. And this is a controversial take, but I really wanted to discover this my own way and teach myself in a way that's intuitive and

And if that lands me roles, great. If it doesn't, great. But I want to do it my own way. And so I started doing some auditions. I will say I have some actors in my life. One incredible actor in my life is Owen, my best friend, Owen Thiel. He helped me so much. He's so talented and so good. And he's always been like, Emma, please, you have to act, which I was like, why?

What are you talking about? Since I met Owen, Owen was like, you, I just know in my gut that you will act. You have to act. You're made for it. And I was like, why? I never understood. Anyway, so the second I showed interest, he was so excited and he helped me with so many tapes. We did a lot of tapes together, but I also have other people in my life who did theater. Like I

I have a lot of actors in my life. So I had a lot of support and a lot of people around me who were down to just fuck around and do these tapes with me. And I ended up having a lot of fun with it. I will say in the beginning, it was really embarrassing. I was really uncomfortable, similar to how I was the first time I did an editorial photo shoot.

it's really vulnerable and weird to be a character, not only in front of the camera, but also in front of whoever you're reading the scene with. It was so uncomfortable for me. I did get a little bit discouraged in the beginning, but I also, I didn't go into this with high expectations. I didn't go into this like,

I'm going to book a role. Yeah, I'm going to book a role. That's my goal for this year. I went into it like, I just want to try this and see what happens, you know? But once I got over the cringe of it, I just loved doing it. I loved analyzing the scenes. I loved trying

trying to figure out who my character is. I loved making the scene my own. I loved improvising. I loved it all. I loved every single part of it. And I ended up just having fun doing the auditions. And so anytime I had extra time and there was an audition in my inbox, I was like, fuck it, let's do this thing. And I would just do it. I had no expectations. And let me tell you, I've done not, I will say I haven't done as many auditions as

the classically trained actor. Like most actors are doing audition after audition, after audition, after audition, like 50 a month. You know what I'm saying? I, I couldn't dedicate my entire life to this, but anytime I could dedicate time to it, I would. And I got a lot of no's. Okay. I got a lot of no's. I wasn't right for a lot of stuff. I got shut down a lot. And what I was really grateful for was I didn't feel like I had a leg up because I

you know, my YouTube career, my podcast career. I really did think that that would give me a leg up, you know, I was like, am I going to like get this role because I have followers on Instagram? Like, I don't know, you

You know, sometimes that's how stuff works in this industry. Absolutely not. I was relieved to find that they do not give a fuck. Okay. These casting directors are like, are you good? Are you, are you right for this role? And for a lot of the roles I wasn't, or they didn't like my tape, whatever. Like, and it was totally fine. I didn't care. I have, I'm very fortunate that in this thus far, I've had no ego. I don't care. I just, it's just fun. And now I'm going to be in a movie. Yeah.

Now I'm going to be in a movie. I did get a role. And I will say, I'm not going to talk too much about this role yet because actually I haven't even started filming yet. I start filming next week and I film for a very short period of time. Like I'm lucky. It's a perfect sized part for my first part. I'm not like in the entire movie. I'm in a chunk of it. I really didn't want to be the biggest star in a, in a movie for my first project. I

I wanted to be kind of the perfect supporting character. You know what I mean? Like, just like not, not like a background character that's in one tiny scene, you know, that, listen, I'd do that too. That'd probably be really fun. But I mean, that wasn't ideal. I wanted something that would really give me a taste of what this is like, but also not fully, you know, ride on me. I'm not, I'm not ready to be the lead in a movie. I haven't, this is my first time being in a movie and to be

To be honest, and maybe I'm completely delusional and maybe the movie will come out and everyone will be like, Emma was terrible in that movie. She's a terrible actor. She should never act again. Weirdly, like, I'm not afraid. I had a lot of imposter syndrome when I first started auditioning. But once I really just started having fun with it, the imposter syndrome, for the most part, went away.

I feel prepared for this role because I think my life has prepared me for this role. You know, in a weird way, I've been studying people and using my body as a tool to create

create interesting imagery for a long time. All of these things have led to this, and I'm just excited to try it. And listen, am I going to become a full-time actor? I don't know. What I learned from this experience is to never say never. I could have never predicted this. This is a massive plot twist, like an insane plot twist.

There's no reason to say never about something that's ultimately harmless, right? Like, Justin Bieber was on to something when he said never say never. Because who knows? Like, now I'm playing guitar. It's like, fuck, watch me come out with an album. I don't even know. I don't know anymore. I don't know what's happening. I'm...

it's going against my own moral compass. I was so against me going into genres of entertainment that I am not classically trained in, that I'm not known for participating in. But I think what I've realized is for me, I just want to do things that excite me and are fun for me. And if that means making music,

Okay. If that means making a movie, being in a movie, you know, being a tool for, you know, the writers and directors who are creating a movie. Okay. There it is. If I want to write and direct a movie. Okay. If I want to make a reality TV show. Sure. If I want to make a really shitty painting. Okay, great. If I want to make a YouTube video. Cool. If I want to make a podcast. Great. Who cares?

You know, like I had these rigid rules for myself. Like, no, we don't do that. And here's why. But why not? If I think I can add something to a space, I'm going to try to add to it.

And I never thought I'd be saying this, but I really do think and I hope that I have something to add in the world of film. And you know what? Even if it's just me being a background character, even if it's literally me in like a dog suit, no one even knows it's me and I'm acting like whatever it is. If I think I can add something, I'm not going to let limiting beliefs get in my way anymore. I'm just going to give it a try. And that's what I'm doing now.

There's something so freeing about letting yourself try things. Recently, I've been painting and I've been playing guitar and I'm so bad at these things. I'm horrible at these things.

But I'm really enjoying doing them. And sometimes I even share these things online with the internet. And to some people, it's like, why are you sharing this? You're not good at it. But to other people, it's like, wait, this is inspiring that you're trying this. You know what I mean? And that's all I have to discuss today. I'm so curious to see how this goes. I'm just as curious as you are. I have no clue how this is going to go. We're all going to find out together on the big screen, baby.

Fuck yeah. So keep an eye out for Forbidden Fruits, my first movie role. There are so many amazing ladies in this movie who like, don't watch it for me. Okay. Watch it for everyone else in this movie. Okay. It's going to be really incredible. I'm so excited. I like am obsessed with the script. I read the script like,

Like, I can't stop reading the script over and over again because it's so good and it's so perfect. And I just, well, I also should be reading the script over and over again because it's my job now to read the script over and over again. But I would read it anyway. Like, even if, like, I didn't get the part, I would still be reading the script every night before I go to bed. Like, it's my Bible, you know, because it's so good and it's just, it's so well written and it's, I'm just so excited. I'm just so excited. So we'll see how it goes. We'll all find out together.

and wish me luck. Anyway, that's all I have to discuss for today. I hope you all enjoyed this episode. And if you did, new episodes every Thursday and Sunday. Okay, I'm not a full-time actor yet, all right? So I'm still, we're still doing the podcast. Okay, I'm still here because this is my initial passion, okay, in my life.

New episodes every Thursday and Sunday. Watch on Spotify and YouTube. Listen anywhere. Anything Goes is on social media at Anything Goes. I'm on social media at Emma Chamberlain. And my coffee company is everywhere. Well, it's like, it's not everywhere, but it's online. It's in grocery stores. It's at the Westfield Century City Mall. Chamberlain Coffee. Check it out. All right. Thank you all for listening and hanging out. It was a joy as always. I love you all. I appreciate you all. And

I will be talking to you in a few days. So this is not goodbye. This is see you later. Love you. Bye.