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staying motivated, advice session

2025/6/22
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anything goes with emma chamberlain

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Emma Chamberlain
通过播客分享生活经验和建议,获得广大听众好评的内容创作者。
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Emma Chamberlain: 保持动力的首要因素是拥有清晰的目标。我早期的职业目标是成为一个令人感到安慰和真诚的人,但后来我开始过度思考这个目标,反而失去了方向。我意识到最初的目标就是我应该坚持的,这让我重新找回了动力。所以,拥有清晰的目标对于保持动力至关重要,虽然我无法告诉你你的目标应该是什么,但它一定存在于你内心深处。 Emma Chamberlain: 享受你所做的事情也能帮助你保持动力。虽然有些时候我们不得不做一些不喜欢的事情,但我尽量让我的工作变得有趣。例如,我可以和朋友一起学习,或者在工作时听音乐、喝抹茶。此外,拥有一个充实和令人兴奋的个人生活也能为我的工作注入活力。如果我的个人生活一团糟,我的工作也会受到影响。因此,找到你喜欢的活动和人,并确保你的个人生活是积极和令人愉快的。 Emma Chamberlain: 建立一个你喜欢的日常也很重要。不要试图复制别人的日常,而是要找到适合你自己的。例如,我喜欢早起工作,所以我把锻炼安排在上午晚些时候。此外,把事情写下来,制定每日计划,并给自己设定奖励,这些都有助于你保持动力和效率。最重要的是,不要给自己设定过于雄心勃勃的目标,而是要专注于你真正需要完成的事情。

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Well, hello there, and welcome back to Advice Session, a series here on Anything Goes where you send in your current dilemmas or anything, and I mean anything you want advice on, and then I give you my unprofessional advice. And today's topic is motivation, discipline, productivity, something that I struggled with for many years, but finally, recently figured out.

I feel like this year, 2025, I've been the most motivated, productive, and disciplined that I've ever been in my entire life. And listen, I'm not trying to toot my own horn here, okay? The only reason I feel comfortable saying that is because I spent the other 23 years of my life not productive, not motivated, not disciplined. So, like, I haven't always been this way. It's been a long journey.

But I think I'm qualified to give advice somewhat because I've made a lot of improvements in recent history. And today I'm going to be sharing my advice on the topic. So without further ado, let's begin. I briefly interrupt this episode to let you know that this episode is presented by Dove's new plant milk cleansing collection.

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Turn your next shower into the little treat your skin deserves. Head to Target to buy Dove's Plant Milk Collection Body Wash before it sells out. Now, back to the episode. Somebody said, how do you find the drive and motivation to keep up with your workload? And then in parentheses, the podcast. Really need advice on staying motivated.

Personally, I think what keeps me motivated is number one, having a clear goal. Okay. Actually, number one, and most importantly, I should say, having a clear goal.

It is so hard to motivate when you don't really know what you're working for. And for a long time, that's how I felt. My purpose when I first started my career was clear to me. It was, I want to be a comforting, honest, and I hate this word, but relatable person on the internet.

I want to share my life in a way that doesn't make people feel bad or jealous, but makes people feel comforted, like they're hanging out with a friend.

That was my goal. And then, I don't know, like at a certain point in my career, I kind of lost the plot a little bit, you know, and I lost my purpose because I started to overthink what my purpose initially was when I first started my career, which was what I just said. I started to overthink it. I started to be like, wait, I need a bigger purpose. That purpose is not big enough.

You know, I've gotten to a certain point in my career. I've reached a level of success. I need to make my goal bigger, better, more impactful. And unfortunately for me, that confused me for a long time and left me uncertain of what my ultimate goal was career-wise. You know, because again, I had a clear goal in the beginning, but then through wanting to make my goal deeper and more meaningful

I just ended up with no goal because I couldn't ever really figure out what the new goal was. Because what I didn't realize at the time was that

my original goal, the one that I started my career with, is the ongoing goal that I will have for the rest of my life. It doesn't need to be deeper than that. I didn't realize that at the time, but eventually I realized that. And so what I learned from that experience was having a clear goal makes staying motivated so much easier because it's

When my goal was clear, when I first started my career, I was so motivated. I never wanted to stop working on YouTube videos and all the other opportunities that I had. But when I started second guessing my goal and my purpose, that's when the motivation waned. And it was harder for me to get stuff done because again, I didn't have a clear sense of purpose. And then when I ultimately rediscovered my ultimate goal and purpose, I

my motivation came back. So that experience really showed me how important it is to have clear goals and clear purpose. And unfortunately for you, I can't tell you what your goal should be. I can't tell you what your purpose should be.

All I can tell you is that it exists within you and only you can find it. It also helps me stay motivated when I enjoy what I'm doing. And I know that that is not always possible, right? Like when I was at school, I had to stay motivated even though I didn't enjoy doing my history homework. You know what I mean? Like there are times in life when we need to motivate ourselves to do things that aren't fun. But

As often as I can, I try to make what I'm doing fun. I try to find a way to make it fun. There are little things that you can do to make your workload more fun. Like for example, let's say you have final exams coming up and you're really dreading it and you're having a hard time motivating to study. Make a study group with your friends. Spend the week leading up to your final exams studying with your friends. Hang out every night, order food and study together.

Obviously, taking final exams isn't fun, right? But by making it fun, it helps you motivate. When it comes to my life and my career, I do my best to choose the opportunities that to me I feel like are going to be the most fun. And again, that's an incredible position to be in and I'm aware of that. But there are opportunities that come up for me sometimes that look really shiny and appealing on paper, but

But when I think about it, I actually wouldn't have fun doing them. And so, listen, there are times when, you know, I maybe do things in my work life that aren't fun. There's actually a lot of things that I do that aren't fun. But I try to choose the fun stuff as much as I can. And with the not fun stuff, I try to make it fun. You know, for example,

I often get sent long documents of work from my team that I need to do, whether it's like making a deck, like a creative deck for something, or if I'm working on a project with a big team, writing notes, sending my notes about the project back to that team, doing approvals of

videos and pictures of me and it's like weird stuff. Anyway, and I definitely don't love doing that document. When I get sent those documents, I'm not excited about them because they're tedious and they're not the most fun. But I'll do what I can to make it fun. I'll make myself a little matcha. I'll sit down, I'll play music. I'll try to make it fun. I feel like making work

fun as much as possible is key. It might even be like buying a bunch of fun colored pens or, you know, having a really nice planner or notebook that you work in. Like, I don't know, little details like that can really make a difference. And it definitely does for me. And then last but not least, it really helps me to have a life that I enjoy outside of work. There's something about

enjoying my personal life that keeps me motivated in my work life. When my personal life sucks, my work life suffers, okay? And I think it's because having a fun, exciting, rejuvenating personal life filled with good people, fun activities, exciting hobbies, relaxation, laughs, humor, having a personal life filled with that

recharges me so that when I get back to work, I'm like, let's fucking do this thing. Let's get this shit done so that I can go back to my personal life that I enjoy. And so if you have a life that you don't enjoy, maybe you don't have a good group of friends. Maybe your significant other isn't great, you know, doesn't treat you great. Maybe you don't have any hobbies. Maybe you spend too much time on your phone or watching TV or

If you have a personal life that isn't exciting to you, you'll have no energy to go back to work with. That's at least what I've noticed. Like when I've been in shitty romantic relationships or I've had...

trouble in my friend groups or whatever. I can't get work done during those times. When I'm on my phone too much, when I'm spending my free time on the internet, I can't get anything done when I get back to work because I feel depressed and anxious and captured by the internet in a bad way, you know? It's so important to get your personal life to a good place. And listen, that's not an easy thing to do, right? That's a constant work in progress. But I

It's something that I've noticed impacts my motivation and my drive significantly. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. Have you ever been shopping online and the website just gave you the ick? Let me tell you, that wouldn't happen if they used Squarespace.

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I love to travel and I love staying at hotels. There's nothing I love more than walking into a beautifully clean hotel room, unpacking all of my stuff, making myself feel at home, going to sleep, waking up and going to the breakfast buffet. I'm always looking for the best hacks and perks. And if you're like me, let me tell you, the easiest way to book is with Hotels.com. Members save up to 20% and earn rewards on every stay.

All you have to do is sign up and it's free. Become a member and save on hundreds of thousands of hotels at hotels.com. Somebody said, how to stop procrastinating and wasting my day and build a solid routine. This might sound cliche, but to the best of your ability, you got to build a routine that you enjoy, okay?

If you don't like doing a 40-step skincare routine, don't do a 40-step skincare routine in the morning. If you don't like exercising in the morning, don't exercise in the morning. If you don't like eating sweet green every day for lunch, but that's the only healthy idea you have in your mind, you need to come up with another idea. Don't have sweet green every day for lunch.

If you enjoy watching television after work, let yourself watch television after work. Like you need to build a routine that you enjoy that is truly intuitive. I feel like so often we look online or we look at people in our lives who have a good routine and we try to replicate their routine because we're like, oh, you know, these people are so successful. They're getting so much done. And

I want to be more like them. I'm going to try to copy their routine. No, that will not work because the best routine is a routine that is perfect for you. It needs to make perfect sense for you. Like,

For example, for me, I love waking up early and I love getting to have an hour or two in the morning where I just go on my computer, get work done in my little robe and drink my coffee. I really enjoy that period of time in the morning. So I've kind of drifted away from doing super early morning workouts like this.

7 a.m. And now I'll do like a 9 a.m. workout or I'll do like an afternoon workout at like 12 p.m., you know, so I can really have that moment in the morning and get stuff done.

I really like working out in the first half of the day. I know that that works for me. So I do that. I also used to do like a bootcamp style workout. And at a certain point, I started dreading that. And it became harder and harder to keep that as a part of my routine. So I ditched that and found something else. I ended up getting really into hot yoga and Pilates and going for long walks. And I realized, okay, this is what I like.

So that's what I'm doing right now. But if that changes at some point, I'll change it because that's what you got to do, right? You have to be intuitive. I like to work on and off throughout the day. So I like to work for a few hours in the morning, take a break, go exercise, come home, eat something, sometimes take a little nap, then get back to work, work until the evening, like 7, 8 p.m.,

I like to cook dinner. I've been really trying to cook dinner. That's been a priority for me. So I cook something that takes me about 30 minutes. I try to, you know, not do anything too complicated because then I'm not motivated to do it. So something simple, something that takes like 30 minutes or so. And then I watch an episode of something on TV or watch a little bit of YouTube on my TV and then go to bed. And that routine is fully based on what works for me. Like some people...

they want to wake up super, super early and get all of their work done before noon. You know, some people, I don't know, like don't like working early. They want to, you know, wake up, have a leisurely morning, maybe start working at noon. And listen, not everybody can choose their schedule, right? But in whatever ways that you can cater your schedule and your routine to you, because that's something you're going to stick to.

Next, I've given this advice a lot, but I'll give it again because it's just so incredibly helpful. Write shit down. Write down a plan every single day. Wake up and write a to-do list. Buy a paper planner. Download Google Calendar. Have a place where you organize your routine. Have a place where you can see your routine written. And plan things out down to the hour if it'll help. Like,

Having a plan every day when you wake up gives you direction. It gives you intention so that you can, like the second you finish a task, you know what's next. And then if you get it all done,

Plan a reward at the end of the day. I get to watch TV. You know, I get to go grab dinner with a friend. I get to work on my hobby, like whatever. Give yourself a reward at the end of the day. Schedule that in as well. Because I think having something like that to motivate you is very helpful. But it's even more helpful if it's written down on your planner, on your Google calendar as like, this is what I get to do at the end of the day. When I check all these boxes at the end of the day, I get this reward. It's so helpful.

I also think when making your daily checklist, don't be overly ambitious. Put down the bare minimum, okay? What you absolutely need to get done and what is important for you, right? Because, you know, like, for example, you don't need to exercise. Like, you don't need to unless you're a professional athlete. But if that's something that you know really makes you feel good, that you really, really, really need to do,

to keep your mental state clear, I'm somebody like that. Like I need to be moving or else I get like angsty and angry.

schedule that in. That's something that's crucial that you need to do. But like, you know, organizing your garage is not something you need to do right now. That's not something that has to be done right now. Well, maybe for you it does if you're like moving or something. I don't know. But for most of us, we don't need to organize the garage right now. So don't be overly ambitious. Put what you absolutely need to get done on your to-do list for the day. And then when you finish, you can either celebrate that you finished and go and relax. Or if you have more energy, you

choose to do more. I tend to have two sort of lists going at all times, a daily list of what I'm going to do on any given day. So like every day I have a to-do list, right? And then I have a list of things to do whenever I get the chance. So like if I finish my work early one day and I have energy, I'll go look at that list and I'll start checking off that list. Because if I have too much to do on my daily to-do list, I'm

I get overwhelmed and I have a hard time completing the list and it makes me feel discouraged. So having that other list that I only look at when I have extra time just helps me psychologically. It's better not to be overly ambitious. And that's that. I briefly paused this episode to let you know that this episode is brought to you by Hotels.com. I love to travel and I love staying at hotels.

There's nothing I love more than walking into a fresh, clean hotel room and

and just absolutely exploding in it, okay? Putting all my skincare in the bathroom, hanging all my clothes up in the closet, and really making myself feel at home. I also love going down in the morning for a buffet breakfast. But booking the right hotel can be hard work if you don't know where to look. Whether I'm traveling for work or for fun, I'm always looking for the best hacks and perks. And if you're like me, let me tell you, the easiest way to book is with Hotels.com.

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How to stay motivated to work on your future when the state of the world feels like it's crumbling. I'm scared. Here's the deal. I get it. Okay, I do. But what I've learned over the years is that we cannot focus on the things that we cannot control. We can focus on doing our part, but we can't change the state of the entire world. We just can't.

So, therefore, it's a waste of time and life to let it get in our way. And listen, that might be a controversial take. You know, I've seen people on the internet, like, disagree with what I just said, right?

But I really truly do believe that all we can do is control our lives, what we do to make this world a better place. And sometimes there are little things that we can do that maybe can have a ripple effect, right? But at the end of the day, we are only in control of our lives. The world is big.

It's small, but it's also big, okay? And we are tiny little details in the grand scheme of the earth. Do you get what I'm saying? It's like, put it into perspective a little bit. The world is so huge. It is so out of our control that we have to zoom in and focus on us in our lives because that's all we got. And to me, it's a real shame that

to waste our time on this earth, which is so incredibly short.

by worrying about things that we can't control, right? There are a lot of scary, terrible things about being alive. That's the case now. And it's been the case since humankind was created, okay? There are really complicated things going on right now. But there have been really complicated things for our entire existence. The human condition is fear, is challenge, is fucked up shit. Like to be...

being a human is fucked up. It's fucked up in a lot of ways. You know, it's unfair. It's terrifying. We have evil streaks. Like, it's complicated. And it always has been. I think we tend to forget that for the entirety of humankind,

Shit has been bad in a lot of ways. And listen, if you were to go back a thousand years, people were fucking dying left and right, dying, dying, dying, dying. There was no medicine there, or maybe, I don't know. I don't know when medicine was created, but there wasn't as much medicine, you know, and now we have our own slew of challenges as well. Listen, being alive at any point in history has been complicated. It's been scary. And so my point of that is,

Not to undermine the challenges of today, but to put into perspective that it's always been this way. And you know what? It's an honor to be alive. We only have so many years to be alive here on this planet. We cannot worry about shit that we cannot control while we're here. We have to do the best we can to have fun.

to enjoy life, to find beauty in it, and to make our experience here on this planet as beautiful as it can possibly be. That is our job. To be pessimistic about the state of the world, to be scared about the state of the world is fair, but it's our job to try to fight against that, to try to find the beauty, to try to find the positivity, to

to try to make the experience as wonderful as possible. And some people might say, oh, that's selfish. Like it's selfish to make life fun when there's so much suffering and there's so much cruelty and there's so much unfairness and there's so much pain and there's so much to be afraid of. It's selfish to enjoy life when there's all this. No, it's not. I'm sorry. I disagree. No, it's not. It's not.

You can be concerned about the state of the world and do your small part to change things as best as you can. Maybe big things. Listen, big things can be done as well, of course, but I don't think we need to expect that of ourselves. Listen, somebody who creates some sort of amazing technology that changes the world, amazing. But like, we don't need to expect that of ourselves. If we have an idea for that, great. But if we don't, we're not a failure, right? So that's why I say small...

you know, ways that we can change the world or not change the world, but do good, right? Do good. It is not wrong for two things to be happening at once. Okay. On one hand, there's a concern and an acknowledgement of the challenges that come with being alive in the world today and at any given moment, okay, throughout history, right? That is important. But simultaneously,

We must make the most of our time on this planet. Two things can be happening at once. I feel like on the internet, it's a very like one track mind sort of thing. Like you either have to be upset about the state of the world and make that your entire life and existence, or you're blissfully ignorant and you're an asshole and you're a bad person and you're out of touch. Like

I just feel like the discourse on the internet about where, about, about one's disposition is very one way or the other. No, we should be striving for balance to acknowledge, but also to understand that we have to, we have to do our best to enjoy life. We have to, we have to, and both things can be happening at once. And I really, really, really suggest that you try to find that balance. And I think, um,

If I had to give one piece of advice to you, it would be stay off the fucking internet. Listen,

The internet will convince you that the world and life is so much worse than it actually is. Listen, again, I'm not undermining, I am not undermining the challenges, the realities, because I think it's important to be tapped into that. You know, you don't want to be completely aloof. I get that. However, I think it's very important

to be careful about how much internet you consume. That means the news, that means Instagram and whatever.

Here's the deal, okay? The internet tends to prioritize drama, bad news, right? Whereas in real life, a lot of times, shit isn't so bad. You know what I mean? The way that the world looks on the internet is far more terrifying and horrible than real life. The life that you actually are living. And listen, sometimes there are moments when

the real life, the life that you're living is fucking horrible. Okay. That happens too. But even then it always looks worse on the internet. The internet will convince you that things are worse than they are. Okay. And so I think it's really important to be careful about your exposure to bad news on the internet, because listen, it's important to be up to date and know what's going on.

But it's equally as important to exist in the real world with your own two feet on the ground. Because at the end of the day, that is your life. All the shit happening on the internet, good stuff, bad stuff, stuff that makes you jealous, all of that stuff is not your life. Your life is the life that you're living in person. The stuff that you see, the stuff that you touch, the stuff that you experience.

You see what I'm saying? And you need, that needs to be your number one source of life. Does that make sense? The internet cannot be your number one source of life. And yeah, that's my advice there. Okay, moving on. Somebody said, any advice I'm feeling constantly overstimulated and drained and tired all the time. I can't seem to find any energy.

I would say the first thing to check up on is whether or not you have a healthy lifestyle. And by that, I mean a mentally healthy and a physically healthy lifestyle. So mentally healthy. Are you on the Internet too much? Are you watching too much TV? Are you gossiping too much? Are you in drama with friends or significant others? Are you in drama?

you know, are you mentally unhealthy? And number two, are you physically unhealthy? Are you not moving your body? Are you not eating well? Are you ordering too much food delivery and it's making you feel like shit? Check in on your body, mind and body. Are you taking care of yourself? Because if you're not, that will lead to feeling drained, tired, overwhelmed,

and burnt out all the time. You know, when I'm in a phase of my life where I'm not eating well, I'm not exercising enough, it'll sneak up on me and I won't even notice that, you know, like I'll be like, oh, I've just been feeling like shit. Like what's going on? And I'll be angry and whatever, like in a bad mood all the time. And I like...

won't feel good. And eventually it'll dawn on me, I haven't been taking care of my physical body. And the same thing goes with my mental state, right? Like, if I'm hanging around people who bring me down, if I'm dating somebody who maybe isn't making me feel good, it'll sneak up on me. I'll be like, why have I been feeling like shit? And then all of a sudden, I'll realize, oh, that's what it is. But because I've realized over time that

you know, I'd say a solid 50% of the time when I'm feeling drained and overstimulated and tired and I can't figure out why, it's usually because I'm not taking care of myself. You know, I'm allowing myself to be around people who take me down. I'm not prioritizing exercising. I'm not prioritizing eating well. I'm gossiping too much. I'm, you know, existing in a pessimistic state of mind. I'm not healthy. That's, you know, 50% of the time what's going on.

But the other 50% of the time depends. It could be something more specific. And when I find myself in a place like this where I'm feeling tired, drained, exhausted, and I don't really know why. And when I look at my life, it actually seems quite healthy. You know, everything's good. Like

I love everyone I'm hanging out with. I feel supported. I feel loved. I feel somewhat positive. Like I'm not overly negative. I'm moving my body. I'm eating well, but yet I still feel drained and exhausted. Then it's time to do a deeper dive. There's something more specific going on. Maybe it has to do with my work. Maybe my work life is stressing me out too much and I need to make some changes there. Maybe my anxiety is acting up and I've just been really anxious for some reason and

In order to figure out what the root of this is, and sometimes there is no root, right? Sometimes we're just exhausted. But in order to find the root of it, it takes a lot of soul searching and just...

looking inward and saying like, okay, what's been going on? Analyzing every single little detail of your life to try to figure out what's draining you. Because a lot of times there is something draining you, but it can be hard to figure out what it is because I think a lot of times we get into a routine and we're an autopilot and we're not really reflecting on what we're doing. We're just doing it, right? And it takes a real conscious effort to stop and

and to analyze life and what's going on and what could potentially be causing us fatigue. Oh my God. Also, I will say, if you're going on the internet too much, that will make you feel drained, fatigued, exhausted all the time for no reason. So get off the internet a little bit as well. That really helps. Okay, now moving on. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. June is Men's Mental Health Awareness Month. And really, this is something we need to talk about more. There's a lot of pressure on men to be

strong and stoic and stern. I think we all know by now that bottling up emotions is not good. And I also think there's sort of a negative stigma around men asking for help. At times, men feel like, wait, people are supposed to come to me for help. I can't go ask for help. But that's not true at all. Millions of men suffer from depression every year in the US, and it often goes undiagnosed. But it's normal to not have it all together, and it's okay to get help when you need it.

Talk to someone, your partner, a friend, a sibling, or a therapist. You can ask a therapist for help, and they have all the tools to help you with what you're going through. BetterHelp is a great place to start that conversation. It has millions of reviews and a 4.9 rating in the App Store. As the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of expertise.

Talk it out with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com slash anything. That's betterhelp.com slash anything. This episode is brought to you by eBay. We all have that piece. You know the one, the thing that's so you, you've basically become known for it. And if you don't have yours yet,

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All right, next. Somebody said, I'm trying to prioritize my routine and productivity since I just started university, but the social engagements are constant and so fun. How do I find balance? Well, here's the deal. I do think it's important when in college, when you first move out of the house, to enjoy the social engagements. Like, listen, I didn't go to college, so I don't really know what that exact experience is like. However, I

When I was 17, I moved to Los Angeles and started working on my career as somebody who's on the internet. Yeah. And I was faced with a similar struggle. On one hand, I just moved to LA to get to work. On the other hand, for the first time in a long time, I have all of these peers and friends to hang out with because for context, for me,

I left high school junior year. I graduated early. And for almost a year, I lived at home alone. I had no friends. I had no one to hang out with. I had friends, but like they were all in school, you know? So I was alone working at home. So when I moved to LA, I was so excited because I was like, oh my God, I have so many people. Oh my God, my throat just made a weird sound. Did you hear that?

I think it's because you didn't know it, but I paused recording for a second and went and ate a piece of banana bread. Now I'm sitting down again recording again, and I think my throat's making weird sounds because I had a snack. I don't really know. Anyway, I was so excited because I was like, oh my God, I really get to have fun and have friends and hang out now. Finally. I've been working alone for so long, you know, and I think a lot of people when they leave high school, they're

and go to college are so sick of hanging out with the same group of kids that they've been with for like four years that there's just all this excitement to hang out with a larger group of people. You know, colleges are way bigger than high schools.

And there's just so much to experience, right? And I think it's really important to experience the social experiences. You know, I think some people look at college like, this is not a free for all. This is time to work. This is time to get prepared for your work life. You know, like social engagement should be the last priority. Everybody has a different opinion, right? I do believe that...

the social element of college and the social element of moving out of the house for the first time and being in a new community. It's very important, I think. And it's a time in your life that you'll never get back, if you will, right? Like, I don't regret moving to LA and hanging out with friends way too much because I definitely did, right? I definitely fucked off a lot.

I still got shit done, but like I definitely slacked a bit because I was hanging out with people. I don't regret it. I don't regret it at all because now, you know, I'm a little bit older. I'm 24 and I can't really justify hanging out like that anymore. It's crunch time, you know? So it's like, I'm glad I got that out of my system when I was younger because now I don't really have as much time to hang out like I used to, to do fun social stuff.

I have more work to do now. And so I'm glad I got that out of my system when I did. And so all of this to say, don't feel bad for going in and doing the social stuff, right? There's no need to feel guilt. However, balance is key because you don't want to overdo it because you don't want to fail at your work or at school because you're so consumed by the fun stuff. You do need balance. And inevitably, right?

When finding that balance, it's inevitable that some social engagements and some grade success will be sacrificed for that balance, right? It is inevitable that if you're not fully focusing on being social or fully focusing on getting good grades, you're not going to be able to do that.

something's got to give, right? If you're somebody who's like, I want to get straight A's in college, I'm going to ace every single class, just absolutely nail this, you might not be able to be social then, you know? And on the other hand, if you're like, I want to go to every single fucking party, I want to live it up while I'm in college because I know that when I leave, the fun is going to end a little bit. If that's your goal, then you're probably going to get bad grades, right? It's like something's got to give. So I think...

In order to find the perfect balance, I would say create specific goals. Create goals for your grades. Say, okay, I want to get higher than a B- in all my classes. Make it a goal that you want to attend every single class for the entire year. Never miss a class. Make it a goal that, you know, you want to make five friends by the end of the year.

Make it a goal that you go out to two social engagements at least every week. Make specific social and educational goals for yourself that can help you dictate what to do and what not to do. Because if you don't have goals...

It's really hard to make decisions. It's really hard to decide, oh, should I go out tonight or should I study? Well, if you have a B in the class that you have a test for tomorrow, if you fuck up that test, you might go down to a B minus or a C plus. So you should probably study for that test so you can bump your grade up to maybe an A minus.

If you have an A plus in a class, it's your favorite subject. You're really good at it. You already feel familiar with the topic at hand for the test tomorrow. You know what? Maybe you can go out instead. Worst case scenario, you don't do that well, you know, and your grade goes down a little bit, but it'll be easy for you to make up. Do you see what I'm saying? If you have goals that are specific, it helps you make decisions. So write out specific goals for yourself. Put them on a post-it note.

Stick them next to your bed. Have specific goals that can help you choose what to do with your time more wisely. And last but not least, somebody said, how to deal with a general lack of discipline in life.

You need to prove to yourself that discipline pays off, that discipline feels good because it does. But if you aren't convinced of that, if your subconscious isn't convinced of that, then you won't care to be disciplined. You have to teach yourself that discipline feels good. Okay. So basically what I'm telling you is,

You need to do your own sort of version of the 75 hard challenge. If you don't know what the 75 hard challenge is, it's where people go 75 days living an extremely disciplined regimented schedule. And the 75 hard challenge, you read every day, you work out twice a day, you only eat really healthy, you don't drink alcohol, you don't go on your phone, whatever. Like you do all these, you know, you have basically the perfect routine, right? Yeah.

And I don't think you should necessarily do that because that is pretty extreme and it definitely doesn't work for everybody. But I think you need to figure out your own version of the 75 hard challenge. I'll give you an example. Let's say you want to do a month. Okay. That seems like a reasonable amount of time for you to really stick to a disciplined schedule. You think you could do a month. Okay.

Okay, now you need to figure out your rules. In what ways do you want to be disciplined in your life? Because you can't be disciplined in all areas of your life, all right? Something's got to give. So figure out what areas of your life you want to be most disciplined. Maybe you want to have a solid exercise routine. You want to work out, you know, five days a week. Maybe you want to start cooking and eating healthier foods. You know, maybe you want to start waking up earlier. Maybe you want to stop going on your phone as much. Maybe you want to

Write it all down. Figure it all out. What areas of your life do you want to be more disciplined? And then create your own sort of challenge. Like, okay, this is again, an example. You need to create this for you. Curate it for your specific life and what you want to be disciplined in in your life. But make it a specific challenge for yourself. For

For example, for the next 30 days, I'm going to wake up every day at 7 a.m., go to bed at 9 p.m., work out five days a week and eat really healthy and not go on my phone for 30 days. And then do the challenge until completion. Do it. If you fail, start over. But I can guarantee you at the end of that challenge, you will feel so much better and

Your brain will feel better. Your body will feel better. Your self-esteem will be boosted because discipline boosts self-esteem. You're going to be feeling so good that it'll be easy to keep going with the routine because you'll be like, wait, now I know that there's a reward for all of this. So your brain will actually start to respond better.

more positive to these disciplinary activities, right? What used to feel like a punishment, like exercise, will start to feel exciting to you because you know that at the other end of that workout, you're going to feel amazing. And you know that it makes you feel physically good. It makes you feel more confident. You know what I'm saying? Once you prove to yourself that your disciplinary routine reaps benefits,

you'll want to keep doing it. You'll be motivated to keep doing it. But until you start seeing improvements in your life, it's really hard to feel motivated. So that's why I suggest doing some sort of 30-day challenge where your goal is just to get to the end of it.

it, right? That's what motivates you for the 30-day challenge. It's like, I just want to complete it. I just want to prove to myself that I can do it. But then at the other end of the challenge, you'll see how much better you feel because after a month, you'll see a lot of changes. Two months, you'll really see a lot of changes. It'll motivate you to keep going and to change your lifestyle permanently. And that's my advice session today. That's it.

That's it. I hope you all enjoyed it. And if you did, new episode of Advice Session every other Sunday, new episode of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday. You can find Anything Goes on YouTube and Spotify if you want to watch me talk. You can listen anywhere. You can find Anything Goes on social media at Anything Goes. You can find me everywhere on the internet. My name is Emma Chamberlain. And you can find my coffee company,

Chamberlain Coffee also in various places. So that's called Chamberlain Coffee and you can find that wherever you want to find it. It's out there. Just find it. That's all I have for today. I love you all. I appreciate you all. It's always a joy. It's always a pleasure. We have fun together. We really do. And I can't wait to hang out again very soon. All right. Talk to you later. I'm going to go eat the other half of the slice of banana bread that I ate in the

Got up, ate a little banana bread, peed, came back. But now I'm going to go finish the slice. So I'm going to go do that and I'll talk to you in a few days. Okay, bye.