Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
Hey, we're rolling.
Hello, welcome everyone. I'm coming to you live and in person from somewhere in a dressing room. This is the Jan Arden Podcast. I'm here with Sarah Burke. I have just figured out how to download Chrome onto my new computer. Hallelujah. Yeah, I did last week's podcast on my phone. I look absolutely insane, but that's okay. We're just going to carry on. Didn't you just do a sound check? Listen, I'm all over the place. I'm on the road. We drove, I think...
Was it three hours from Kingston? Okay. And where are you today? I'm in St. Catharines. You got to make sure before you go on. People are very grateful that I have been spelling St. Catharines correctly because that's why I have to say it in my head. Because it's not an ER, it's an AR. They're like, thanks for spelling it right, man. I found a really good vegan place. Just wait, I have to give them a shout out because...
We all ate lunch there and it was absolutely amazing. Rise above restaurant. Rise above. What did you eat? Rise above restaurant. I had seitan wings. My non-vegan friends always call it Satan wings. Oh, you had your Satan wings. And a kale and beet salad with cashew feta. Chef's kiss. It was delicious. If you're in St. Catharine's,
go to Rise Above. We also, I bought the gang a dozen vegan donuts from Beachwood, vegan donuts. And people put the fear of God into me because they said, you're never going to get in there. They sell out by noon. They sell everything out by noon. But the young woman that was working there said, no, we don't do that anymore. We did it when we first opened because we had a really, really teeny kitchen. But she goes, now we have a new space and it's massive. I was looking back in there and they had
you know, eight bodies baking donuts, vegan donuts. Okay. So yeah, I'm on the road and apparently we're sounding okay. I apologize for the sound quality last week, but it was a great conversation. We were talking about friendships. And if you're just joining us, yes, this is the Jan Arden podcast and show. We are on terrestrial radio. Maybe you're sitting in your car right now listening to us.
What was your week like, Sarah Burke? Tell me everything. Well, first of all, I will say I got a lot of notes about the friendship conversation. Me too. Including like I heard from some friends I haven't talked to in a long time that really identified with what we were talking about. So hello to those people who reached out.
I think a lot of people need to be reminded about the phases of your life and how it's okay if things change. So I think that was good that we talked about that. Seemed to have landed. Also, you know, been following your tour. It was very cool to see you on tour, as I mentioned. But, you know, like the fact that you're doing this podcast while you're on the road says all we need to know about you. Oh, I really enjoy it. I would miss doing it. Even when we took a little break at Christmas and did the best ofs.
I was just like, I feel like I should be doing something. And yeah, no, I really am enjoying it. And folks, thanks to you guys listening. We've been having some of the best weeks we've ever had on the podcast as far as downloads and just people tuning in. So thank you so much. There's something like 100,000 podcasts out there, probably more. Everybody decided to start a podcast during COVID.
Yeah. Ours has been going a little bit before COVID. I was doing some stuff with Arlene Dickinson before we started doing this, but there's a lot of choices. So we thank you for tuning in to me. I have a few quirky favorites that I listen to. What are they, by the way? Well, Sarah Burke does an excellent podcast. Oh, thanks. Yes, she does. Oh, is that you? Women in Media. Yeah.
You are one of them. And yeah, you, you do such a great job of that, but we've been turned on to a few things. I think, um, I've made no bones about how much I love history and listening to history podcasts. So I do a lot of that. I do. I listened just to a lot of history podcasts, archeology podcasts. They'd probably be really boring. And I do like some true crime stuff. Cool. Morbid is a great podcast. Hmm. Okay. That I listened to, um,
Go onto your app, go onto your, your, your pod app on your phone. There is thousands and thousands to weed through. And I think that's why people are always looking for a review. They're looking for a rating because it kind of bumped you into, you know, a place where people can find you. Remember, remember back on the day, Sarah and the phone in the yellow pages, you know, in the A's you'd have, you know, we used to look for a pizza places in the yellow pages and,
And so what the trick became was A's pizza. And then it was double A's pizza. Then it was triple A, quadruple A, five A pizzas. Like everyone was, so that was the first thing that you saw in your little ad in the yellow page. Do you even, did you even have yellow pages? I did. I did. And I remember, well, I remember when the big book will get delivered outside the house. I remember that. Did you look for yourself?
No, my parents they could find. Do your parents have a home phone? They still do, yeah. They don't answer it a lot now because it's usually like one of the spam calls now, always. Okay, this is, I'm going to talk to you about this today. I want to talk about being an only child because I know some people who are only children and
And there's some real similarities in only children. And I want you to talk about your experience. I'm not an only child. You're not an only child? I'm not an only child. I have a sister. How else do you have? I just have one sibling, my sister. I hope that doesn't ruin your... Do you want to still talk about only children? What have you noticed? I sure do want to talk. No, I want to talk about only children. I haven't talked about my sister, Joanna, a lot on the podcast, but I do have a sister. Joanna, I thought your sister, Sarah...
Was an only child. That's how much she doesn't talk about you. Hey, listen, I'll tell you right now. I felt like an only child. What made you think I was an only child? What are those similarities? Well, you're very assertive. I think you, if you want to get your own way, you're going to get it. That's about right.
I think you are a self-starter. I don't think you need to be entertained. I think you can be dropped into any party or social gathering setting and hold your own with anyone at any time. I think you travel alone really well. I think you're comfortable eating in a restaurant alone, going for a meal, going for a coffee. I think you strike me as the type of person that would go and see a movie on her own.
Yeah, this is all legit. Okay. Well, this is only child stuff. Interesting. But I feel like I fall into that category. And you had one sibling, right? I have two. Okay. My older brother is three years older than me and my younger brother is five years younger than me. So I was in the middle. So what happens with those year gaps is I did not go to school with my older brother nor my younger brother.
So I kind of made my way through school on my own. I remember walking Patrick, my little brother. I was in sixth grade. He was just starting the first grade. And I remember my mom, you know, just saying to me, I want you to take Patrick straight to his class off the bus because we were in a rural area. We went to Albel Valley Elementary. And I remember taking his little hand and walking him down the really bad orange indoor-outdoor carpeted hallway down to his little classroom.
to his homeroom. And then I was in sixth grade, but that's the closest I ever got because then you're doing three-year jumps. Once I went into junior high and
grade seven, eight, nine. Well, Patrick wasn't there yet. My older brother was gone. And then into high school, 10, 11, 12 is what it is in Alberta. So I didn't, you know, I think some of the teachers remembered my older brother and he was such a hell raiser. He dropped out of school at 14 or 15, was in and out of prison from the time he was a very young man and spent, you know, the last 28 years in prison. So not only did I not go to school with him,
I really didn't grow up around him or know him. And Patrick, he went to university and did his own thing and he's in the oil patch. And we've actually become a lot closer the last few years, which is really cool. I'm really happy that we are. That's where my sister and I are in that phase. I think right now where we're trying to get closer, we've, I don't know, it's taken us some time and I think that's okay too. And how far apart are you? Two years. Two years.
So you would have been in school together then? Yeah. Like 12th grade, 10th grade, 9th grade, 7th grade, right? Yeah. And there was only one year we weren't really when I was in high school and she wasn't there yet. So how would the teachers respond to your sister after you'd gone through? Because I got that a little bit from my brother. He's like, hope you're nothing like your brother.
I think I was the hell raiser. So sorry, Joanna. There's a little bit of that. There's a little bit of that. We were together a lot in dance and like extracurriculars, dance teachers and stuff. I don't really remember any of her teachers in actual school, but I always got pushed into like the older dance class. And I don't think Joanna really liked that very much. I also don't think she'll be listening to this podcast, so it's fine. Yeah.
Well, I don't think either of my brothers will be listening to this podcast either. I have a few friends that really found it extremely difficult being an only child. They felt...
Really lonely. They felt like their every move was being maybe dissected is the word that seems like a harsh word, but that everything they did was being closely monitored and watched. And I remember my friend Gary saying to me, he said it was hellish because I was the only son.
They were so worried about something happening to me, like going to parties or when I got my driver's license or trying, you know, drugs or drinking or anything that they just really, it was overboard. Like, I think when you have siblings, somebody breaks the way for you. You know, I did that. Yeah. You did that for your sister. Yeah. But, and I really, I empathized with him, you know, as we got older, we've stayed in touch over the years. Hi, Gary.
And he was the sole caregiver to his parents. His dad died of a heart attack, you know, quite a number of years ago. And Gary looked after his mom, I'm going to say like 20 years. Wow. And the last decade or so of her life, he lived with her and looked after her. And with very little help, you know, I think you get some...
respice maybe from the government sending someone to sit. But there's not a lot of options out there. That sounds very full circle. It really does. But a lot of my, you know, I have another alone friend, my friend Cindy, who was like, it was fantastic. I got everything I wanted.
You know, the family vacations we took, I was always allowed to bring one or two friends because my parents felt so bad that I was on my own, that it was like that teeter-totter. It was either this or this. So...
You know, that sounded pretty good to me of family holidays. Like, and I'm talking Hawaii and, you know, Cancun, all these places. And she got, and her friends were just like lined up to kiss her butt to see if they'd be the ones that got to go somewhere. So I get both sides of it. Listen, we're going to be talking about a lot of things today. We want to touch on the Grammys.
There was a few dramatic moments in the Grammys this year, and I have a few opinions about them. I'm here with Sarah Burke, and I put my sunglasses on because I just thought I'd look the part. You're looking stylish for the award show combo. I just need to tell you what's happening right now, because a lot of people can relate to this. Okay. I'm trying to grow my hair out. I am in that phase where, and I tweeted about this the other day, I want to race to the
the nearest hair salon. I don't care who it is. And I've been going to the same girl for like 20 years, have them dye my hair and blunt it and cut it off. And I'm determined to get past that. So I haven't colored it for, you know, a couple of months and I'm just tying it back at night. Sometimes I'm curling it. Sometimes I'm, you know, I'm trying to figure out how to get through my shows without chopping my hair off. Your hair looked great the way you had it at the show. I don't think people are at my shows to
see my hair. That's true. And I don't have any gray hair. Must be nice. When my dad was lying on, you know, on his deathbed, my mom, who had heavy duty Alzheimer's at the time, which was a blessing, she was leaning over and looking at him, you know, his poor little face and breathing away. She goes, he doesn't have a gray hair on his head. My God.
I was gray when I was 35. My mom was completely gray at 35. My mom too. So maybe I'll seek you. And I don't care about gray hair. I have white hair. Listen, there's a lot of women that did go gray. Do we even have to have that conversation? We don't. You just have to say Lisa Laflamme, right? And it stirs up a lot of stuff. But we won't go there.
We're talking hair because we're getting ready for an award show conversation here. I would like to start. I know you want to talk Grammys, but I just want to quickly say congrats on your however many Juno nominate 27th Juno nomination 28th. It's the 28th or the 29th and I've only lost.
21 times. Hey, that's something. That's something to celebrate. But I thought it was special for you because the record you put out, you talked about it on my Women in Media podcast, Descendant. It's all about who and where you come from and thinking about those before you, which also plays into many other themes on what we've been talking about on the show. How does it feel for that to be nominated, if you would let me start there? You know, it feels great. And especially for the producers that I worked with and my co-writer Russ Broom and my co-writer Bob Rock. Bob
We did four or five songs and he produced four or five songs and wrote four or five songs with me. And then Russ and I did the rest of them. There's 15 tracks on the record. And for them, I'm cheering because it was a really unusual record for me. I don't normally have
different producers. And, you know, I certainly write with different people on my records, but Russ and Bob, just kudos to them for being generous with their time, with their talent. Russell and I worked so hard. It kept us sane too during COVID. We'd go into his little studio and, and just recording is so fun for anyone that
wants to open up their garage band, get it sometime. It's so fun to monkey around with. There's pianos and guitars and all kinds of stuff you can do. Oh, boy. Why are you saying, oh, boy? I think singing in the shower is where I'm going to leave it. Well...
I don't sing anywhere but the stage. Okay. I don't sing in the car. I don't sing. I don't even think I did when I was a kid. I never was one of those people that, like I was talking to my production manager out on the road. His name's Adam, and he's an amazing, amazing opera singer, among other things. He does such a great job. But we were talking about karaoke. Beautiful tenor voice. He goes, I cannot sing karaoke. I said, Adam, get out of my head. I cannot sing karaoke. Okay.
I can't sing it. I did it once in Nashville. Mind you, I'd have a couple of drinks. I was there with my road manager, Chris, and it was a bar down in the middle of town. We thought, oh, I've had two beers. I'm going to go sing in sensitive in karaoke. So we bring it up. It was so weird. It was in such a weird key for me. I didn't know you could change the key in karaoke. Now they tell me, right? You can pick what key you want to sing it in.
And the verses were swapped around. Who made this program, right? The waitress, the server told me to keep my day job when I finished. Hilarious. Singing my own song. Well, you'll never forget that. That's funny. So you said you had some thoughts on the Grammys. Yeah. There was people trying to make some drama out of things. I think the big, for me, one of the big takeaways was Bonnie Raitt.
Song of the Year, and people get very confused by this in the Grammys. There's Album of the Year, Song of the Year, I think Single of the Year. Song of the Year is songwriter. So Song of the Year goes to the songwriter. I think Taylor Swift and Bonnie Raitt were both in the songwriter category, and people had all their money and their hopes on Taylor winning the Songwriters Award.
for her 10-minute version of a song about the scarf. Yeah, yeah. Bonnie Raitt won. Yeah, big upset. And the song is such a lovely song that Bonnie did. It really is...
Very much about getting older. She said it was about John Prine. Yeah. You know, John was such a hero of hers. And Bonnie's very famous for doing a cover of Angel of Montgomery. But so there were some upsets. Beyonce, of course, did not win album of the year. It went to Harry Styles. Mm-hmm.
And but Harry has endeared himself to so many hundreds of thousands of millions of people this year. It was a big album for him. For sure. You know, he's been become a fashion icon, but he won. And there was some booze in the audience. Harry also got up there and said, listen, I think everyone in this room knows there's no best of Harry.
There's no best. It's just, you know, for a guy like me from where I come from to be doing this is just, it's nuts. I'm paraphrasing here. I just felt like booing, really? Because they...
felt a lot of people felt Beyonce should win and she's never won for album of the year but she also walked out as the most she's got more hardware than anybody else in Grammy history she now has 32 statuettes I've never ever once thought I was the best at anything the one Juno that I've always appreciated that will be the one that I would run into a burning house to grab is the Hall of Fame of course the Canadian Music Hall of Fame because it has nothing to do with
how good or bad or whatever it is. You know what it is? It just represents a piece of time that I put in my time, that I paid my dues, that I got through playing in the bars. Longevity. Yeah. I got through and I'm still standing. That's what means something to me, you know, to have your peers and to have an industry going, she's still alive.
You know, and that it didn't happen posthumously, which was really nice. It's great. It's great. So, I don't know, it's just kind of disappointing sometimes to hear the remarks. And then there was some rumor going on that when Harry did win Album of the Year, let's face it, there was some big artists, Lizzo, Adele. There was just huge artists. There was a lot at stake.
That Adele got up and walked out. Now, I don't know. I don't think that's true. That was all over like TMZ. Shame on you, TMZ. As always. It could have been anything. She could have had to pee. Exactly. The other thing that awards do is they up the ante for downloads, for streaming, for
for sales. Yes, people are still buying things. I bought the Bonnie Raitt after she won. I thought, I've got to go get that record. So I went to iTunes. That's just where I buy my music. And I bought the record. How do you feel? Does anything motivate you to listen or
I'm so glad you brought up the Bonnie Raitt because I think it was a tweet from Natalie Hemby the next morning that said, before you get talking about the Songwriter Song of the Year Award, you need to listen to that song. Right. And that's exactly you were like, oh, I'm interested to dig into this more. Truly, I wasn't as aware of it as I should have been. You know, it was the nomination that made me aware of that song.
So I think it's good that down the road people are still discovering music. But I've got this up now. Album of the year. You had Abba, Adele, Bad Bunny, Beyonce, Mary J. Blige, Brandi Carlile, Coldplay, Kendrick Lamar, Lizzo, Harry's House, Harry Styles. Listen to that. Like you can't even compete. Like everyone in there. Those are massive stars. And they're so different from each other. So it's ludicrous to think of
Someone being the best of anything. I loved Lizzo's acceptance speech when she won for, I think it was record of the year for about damn time. She shouted out Beyonce being like, I used to skip school to go see you. You are the reason that I do this. And I like that part of it. But the rest of it, I'm kind of like, whatever.
What about that eight minute rap song to go out? Eight minutes in The Last Supper. I mean, it was very artistic, I will say. But at the end of it, they're even like throwing shade at the Grammys. They're kind of like, yeah, we did just do that for eight minutes to round out your show. Right? Yeah.
Anyway, those are my thoughts on the Grammys this year. There's just, it's awards season. Critics' Choice, Golden Globes, the Grammys, the Junos, I think, are in May? No, they're in March, aren't they? The Junos are on March 13th. I'm going to be away. I won't be able to go. And Michael Bublé's going to win. And so he should. It's a, hire is a fantastic record. Yours was too. Take a little cred. You know, it's,
I don't really sell records anymore. God love Universal Records. They let me keep making these albums. Your fans are so loyal. They really are. And this tour has been completely sold out, which is mind-boggling. I'm so grateful. What if I told you I talked to Kim Dennis last night and had a reading? Okay, we're going to take a quick break. When we come back, we're going to talk to Sarah Burke about her reading with Clairvoyant. Clairvoyant Kim Dennis, who was on our show two weeks ago, who we're still getting so many comments about. We'll be right back. ♪
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Go right now. You're listening to us right now on your favorite radio station or streaming service. Okay, I'm still working on the song, but I really think it's coming a long way. You had a reading with Kim Dennis. You had a reading with Kim Dennis. I had a reading with Kim Dennis. Yeah, she was with us a couple of weeks ago.
We talked a lot about, you know, speaking with people who have passed over and signs that we received from people. Sarah had a zany thing going on with like brass geese or brass ducks and Mercedes showing up and all kinds of stuff. Her and I both. So go tell us about it.
So just to right off the top deal with the ducks and the piano sound that I heard, it was Zadie. She sort of confirmed. You know those little details, right? That's what she was saying and you were saying. That's how you know that it's for real because it's not anything astronomical, the message that they want to give you. But it's like if they knew that detail, then there's no way that this could be made up. She's like, did you go to two different schools? Did you start a school and stop?
I dropped out of Carleton University. And she's saying, yeah, the message is that he's very proud of you for like not giving up. This is where there's a message, but you kind of have to feel around for what it is. She's like, he's showing me an island. Did you go away somewhere? Like there's an island. Oh, wait, it's the word turtle, turtle, turtle island. And I'm like, well, turtle island is like Canada, basically. Indigenous people call it.
turtle Island. And she's like, yeah. And he's saying that he's proud of your work with these. Are you working with many indigenous people? A day to listen, which was like a huge program that aired on 500 radio stations over the past year was some work that I did with an indigenous group of people. Also at Sirius XM here was, here's what was weird. She goes, he's pointing at my dashboard. Am I supposed to be listening to Sirius XM? Did you work at Sirius XM? She didn't know that for me and you. No. So,
That was interesting. Okay. You know how we've had some audio dropouts when we've been recording lately on my end, my tech. So remember she said, Oh, there's a younger fellow here. He's not a grandparent.
So I asked her about that and she goes, well, he's like maybe around your parents' age, maybe a little older. He's very slender. He wasn't well before he left, but he's not in pain anymore. He's here. He's very slender. And I'm thinking, okay, it's my mom's brother. He's slender? Well, he was very sick before he passed. So he was very slender, passed of cancer. Okay.
So she says, he says like he was with you. Did you go shopping for new gear on the weekend? He's showing me a microphone. I didn't buy a new microphone, but I bought a new thing that hooks into my microphone over the weekend, which we are using today. And she goes, he can't wait for you to set it up. This is last night. I was setting it up today. I don't even understand. Here's the thing.
It's so random. It's so random. Like these are, there's nothing general and sweeping about this. Oh, you will take a vacation. Like that's when people get really skeptical. It's like, well, fuck, of course I'm going to take a fucking vacation. Yeah. At some point. So that's when people really go after mediums for that kind of speak.
For that, they call it baiting or whatever. But sorry, microphones, the equipment you're buying and microphone setup, that's too, it's not general at all. It's very specific. Yeah. And on the topic of vacation, this was specific. My boyfriend and I have not gone on a vacation together yet because we got together during COVID and we just, you know, our jobs have been moving around and changing. It's been hard to book.
We did just book a vacation. I think I had a little visit from his mother who is no longer with us. She was wearing her sunglasses and said she's excited for our vacation. And we just booked our first vacation going to Nashville, right? I told you about this on the podcast that we booked a vacation to Nashville. Yeah.
So, I mean, there's that. Also with the cottage and the ducks at the cottage and all of that, Kim starts howling laughing. And she goes, is there a duck at the cottage? I'm like, yeah. And obviously that's kind of general. And she goes, did your dad have to like enhance it or buy an extra piece for it last summer? And then she starts laughing. And I'm like, yeah, he did. And she goes...
Yeah, your Zadie was there that day laughing at him. And my dad was not in the best spirits that day. Like he was kind of trying to figure it out. He really did have to get something for the deck? Yes, he bought an extension for the deck. And he was so pissed off that day. So like for my Zadie to have witnessed what happened that day, my dad was just not in the mood for everyone trying to help him. My dad's a guy who when he starts a project, he wants to just be left to himself. How did this make you feel? Like she seemed to have been hitting on Zadie
several things that were random. I'm hopeful. You're hopeful.
Yeah, like especially there were some like kind of futuristic messages from like my grandfather. She says he's asking about the three short term projects. Three short term things have kind of fallen into my lap over the last two weeks, which I'm sure I'll talk more about in the coming weeks. And she goes, he's saying there's a big contract coming and to make sure you charge enough. Like what? There's one really weird thing I was going to tell you.
This is super weird. This is where it might not be someone you were close with or someone you even knew. So she goes, okay, there's like someone who passed in their mid thirties. Um, who's been around like lurking around your desk maybe starts with a D she's getting a D. Did you have an ex boyfriend who passed away? So I said, no. And then she goes, what about one of your best friends? Anyone pass away? So I do have one best friend whose guy passed away. She goes,
The message he's saying is, I'm sorry for being careless. And then I'm thinking about who it is, thinking about who it is. And she goes, did one of your friends just have a baby? He wanted her to know. He's seen that she's had a baby and wanted to wish congrats to her. I called her last night after the reading to tell her. And she's like, Sarah, I have been thinking about Darcy.
Kim picked out the D and the Y. I've been thinking about Darcy this entire time since I've had Finn because I've been wondering what he would think of my life now. This is so specific. So specific. The D and the Y. He passed away in a tragic bike accident.
The word careless was very particular too. Morgan said to me on the phone, she goes, Sarah, the word careless is not a word that I say out loud when I'm talking about Darcy or what happened in the bike accident. But I know in my head he was being careless and I often think of that word. And that was a very specific word to come from the message.
I'm sorry for being careless. Nuts. I think this is an incredible reading. There was lots of little things. This is just like, honestly, I'm telling you like 20% of it. It was crazy. Well, I record them. I just, I say to her, can I just run my phone? Yeah. Because she said, oh yeah, there's so much stuff that will make sense later. And because she does talk quite quickly and I wish you could see her, how she reads and
We talked about it a little bit a couple weeks ago, but she sits in her chair. You're about eight feet across on a couch. Not a COVID thing. It's just the way her house is set up. It's quite dim. And she just, she's looking at the floor and then kind of looking up into the corner of her house, looking up into the corner and then looking down, looking up at the corner. When she's talking to you, she's not looking at you. She doesn't look at you.
He doesn't make eye contact. I think it, it breaks into whatever she's doing. Like, listen to me talking about what I think is the process. She grew up like very close to where my family lives too. Funny enough, we got talking about your show at the Markham theater. Did you know that she grew up in Ontario? Yeah. Yeah.
I think I did know she had an Ontario connection. Anyway, it was, thank you for the intro to Kim. And we'll just remind people that if anyone else is interested in this stuff, we had all of her links in the episode notes and you can book a reading. Clairvoyant, Kim.
She's on Facebook, she's on Instagram. What is happening with you and your boyfriend? Can I just ask that personal question? I think people want to know. People have asked me. They want to know where you met. One thing. Yes. They want to know where you met. And I said to a friend of mine that I thought you'd met at the gym. That's probably really wrong. And because I think the gym is the new Tinder. That was the last guy.
You met the last guy at the gym. This guy you met at a dating app. No, the radio station I first started working at years and years and years ago. So you knew him before you got nude with him? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Thanks for putting it that way. Yeah. No, I just, let's be honest here. We all know what a boyfriend is. We all know what that is. You're a friend and then you're naked with a friend and then they're not your friend anymore. They're your boyfriend.
I knew from the beginning of meeting him, though, I will tell you. So you get hired in the radio biz. One of the entry level gigs is like driving the summer car, right? Summer cruiser vehicle. And you hand out free giveaways at events and blast music. It's the best job in the damn world. I bet you. Oh, my God. I was hung over the entire summer. It was fantastic. So at that time when I started that job in London, he was the music director at the radio station I was working at.
And within a week of me working there, he invites me to a concert. He's flexing the like, oh yeah, you want to come to Toronto? We're going to go see the Cougs. He ended up holding my hand in the crowd that night. And I remember being like, oh, this guy likes me. He will never admit it. We've talked about it. He's like, I did not. Maybe I was like making sure you didn't get lost on the way out. I'm like, I'm a full grown adult. You held my hand. I know you held my hand.
Anyway, so we were best friends for years. We might have hooked up before I moved for another job in Kingston. We were just friends after that. We bought condos in the same building in London. We used to watch all our television shows together while I lived with my other boyfriend. Really? Yeah. You don't have to. You can tell me to back off, to shut up. When you have a relationship like this, when you're friends, what is that moment where obviously somebody kissed somebody?
Yeah. Did he kiss you? Did you kiss him? The way back when, like over a decade ago, he kissed me on, we were like doing a patio hop on like a Sunday afternoon. And I remember I had feelings for him and I think I told him at one point and he was like, no, no, no, we work together. And then months later he kissed me and I was like, okay, okay. Didn't last very long. And he certainly had many options out there. He was like cute radio station guy. Right.
This time around, it was also him. He was turning 40 the first summer of the pandemic and we were celebrating his 40th birthday. Like there were five of us there. Like it was a really quiet group. We were going out for dinner. We went back to one of the guy's houses, listened to some records and hang out. And I was like, what did you just do?
We've been friends for so long now. You just kiss me like that? And that began what is now a relationship. I mean, obviously it was consensual, but in the world that we're living in, Sarah, this could be deemed as a really risky move because you could kiss somebody and it could be an unwanted kiss. Like, I think it's so brave to make a move on anybody these days. It's there's so many, right? It was brave.
It was brave. Now, is kissing, if they can kiss or not kiss, is that a deal breaker for you? Have you ever kissed a fellow that wasn't a good kisser? And then you're like, no, this is never going to, I don't know what that was that you just did. Maybe there was an eel in your mouth that I didn't know about, but this is now over. Yeah. I think the kissing's the intimacy. Yeah. It may take some getting to know each other's, like what things that you like, right? It's the same thing as...
Having a nice O. You got to get to know some things sometimes. A nice what? A nice O. That's what the cool kids say for orgasm. Okay. I like that. A nice O. Welcome to the show, folks. We're just going into... We need Cynthia Loyst. That's who we need. She knows what's going on. Maybe we should get Cynthia Loyst. And speaking of Cynthia Loyst...
her and her wonderful friend Josie Dye, who are longtime women in media, are going to be doing a podcast that they've been working on for a long time now, but they're going to finally let the rest of us hear it. February 14th. Unmentionables, Valentine's Day. I was on Unmentionables. I'm not going to tell you what I was talking about with them, but it was a very good conversation. And, you know, there was a few red cheek moments.
In there. But yeah, February the 14th, Unmentionables, Cynthia Loyce, Josie Dye. Don't miss that. That's our little shout out to our friends. We'll maybe invite them on and get them to tell us a little more. But the topic is like the things that you're uncomfortable talking about. Like, let's put it all out in the open. And there's so many of those topics, right? Well, yeah. The big O's. Yeah, the little O's, the absence of O's, the never having O's.
Oh, that's a big one. No, I just, I respect them both very much. And it's very funny. And you're going to want to jump through your radio and ask your own questions. And I think it's going to be a very interactive podcast. I'm sure they're going to solicit all your comments and things that you want to know and questions that you have. And,
I think there's something about asking a question with anonymity that is really healthy and wonderful that you can put yourself out there and you can sign it. Banana one, two, three, four. You don't have to let everybody know. That's Jan's other Twitter account, by the way. It is getting back to that whole thing. There's so many podcasts out there. So many new ones all the time. We want to cheer our friends on. Cynthia has been on our show a couple of times.
Yeah, you can go back to the beginning of season two she was on. And we had that great conversation about my mom and reading the diary in the mosque parking lot. It's so funny. I think of you often because when I turned 60 last March, I made a vow. Well, for one thing, my friend gave me a beautiful journal. And I bought myself a really gorgeous pen. I went out and spent 700 bucks on a Montblanc pen. I cannot believe I did it. If I ever lose this pen, I will be sick. I just...
have it with me all the time I'm always making sure I have my pen it's in its box blah blah blah but I have not missed a day of writing in my journal I would be so mortified if anybody picked up my journal that I've been writing as an adult never mind a vulnerable young person I don't know what I would do even when I'm alone in a hotel room do you know that I put it under something
Like I never leave it out on the desk if I'm going to a gig or leaving the room. I take it and I put it under like six pairs of pants and a couple of brassieres. I put it, I'm like, no one's going to want to touch that brassiere. I would be, I would be so saddened. I do think about that moment of you talking about that and how, what a big deal it is. You know what, let me leave you on this note. Okay. Don't you find writing something,
for that reason and only that reason for yourself is so therapeutic. Yep. Oh, it's very helpful. Like no one, it's not meant to be read. I told you that I'm reading my mom's journals, right? That she kept them since she was a kid and they're heartbreaking. They're funny. They're kind of sublime. They're mundane. They're banal. They're all these things. They're touching. I've just started reading them. I actually started at 2000,
and 13, which was the last year that she was kind of sane. Oh, wow. You know, that didn't have memory loss. And I can see where she's starting to be so muddled up. And I've had a few good laughs, but yeah, we'll leave it there. I think it is important to write and write like no one's reading. Don't worry about someone. I say I would hate for people to read that, but when I kick my clogs, I'll be kind of glad that people have that
little bit of me, my friends, especially not the general public, but my friends. Maybe you leave the journal to someone in a will who you trust to make the right decision of if it should be put out or not. TMZ? No, no, no TMZ. On Wednesday, I had a little O. On Thursday, I had a big O. Oh my God. You've been listening to the Jan Arden podcast and show, the big O show. Thanks for listening, Sarah. Thanks for being with us. Thanks for being with us.
So
liberal in sharing your Kim Dennis reading. No prob. Fascinating. And thanks to Kim. I think it was a really great reading and you're telling me like 20% of it. Fantastic. There's so many cool things. I'm going to do another one. I just have to ask her if I'm going to cut my hair or not. Maybe I should phone her up right now. What's going to happen with my hair? What am I doing? You look great. Well, I'm a little bit tired. I'm almost thinking of taking a second shower. You should take a nap. That's what you should do before you go on stage today. Have a little nap. Nap.
is a disaster of epic proportions for me when I'm touring. I got to stay awake. But thanks for checking in. Thanks for being you. Thanks for subscribing. You can listen to us on all your favorite streamers, the favorite places that you get your podcasts. iHeartRadio is a great place to start. We'll see you next time. This podcast is distributed by the Women in Media Podcast Network. Find out more at womeninmedia.network.