Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
Well, good morning, good morning, good afternoon, good evening, everyone, everywhere across the country, across the world, because we are a global podcast. You're listening to the Jan Arden Podcast and Show. I'm here with Caitlin Green and, of course, our engineer, Adam Karsh. Two of those guys are in Toronto. I'm in Calgary. There's a billion mosquitoes here. I am inside fighting for my life. That's all I can tell you.
I don't know what it's like where you are, but there's a there's mosquitoes here. It's been an unprecedented mosquito thing going on. And I'm telling you, if you walk out the door, you have and I'm not exaggerating, like 40 mosquitoes on my body. Oh, God. Is this because of like climate change?
Okay. Let's blame climate change. And then let's blame Trudeau because that seems to be like the thing to do anyway. It's a, it's annoying. I know there's bigger problems in the world, but hopefully they will figure themselves out. But the city of Calgary is having a huge problem. People are complaining like crazy. I don't know. I've,
I've been given so many recommendations of what to do. Take vitamin B1. So I started taking that. I know. I don't know what vitamin B1 does. Someone can write us and tell us. But it's just, it's the one thing. And I'm really an unbothered person, but it's the one thing that really, really sets me off is mosquitoes. Buzzing by my ear, having them in my bedroom at night. I mean, one mosquito can be so...
It can permeate every cell, bone, fiber of your body when the lights go out and you hear that mosquito near your head. I know that sound. I know what you mean.
Yeah, I find that the combination of bugs in the summertime in Canada tends to kind of dampen your spirits for outdoor dining, especially. We did a whole conversation on the morning show about do you actually enjoy outdoor dining? And a lot of people kind of chimed in saying that they didn't, that they preferred even in the nice weather to be indoors because wasps,
mosquitoes, noise, like all this stuff. And they just get hot and sweaty. If you can't get under an umbrella, you find yourself like sweating through your entire meal. So I don't know, are you an outdoor diner or do you feel like you'd rather just be inside even when it's summer? Yeah, I do love outdoor dining, but you know, inevitably certainly here where I am in Southern Alberta, I'm just 25 minutes West of Calgary. My friends and I always start out at my, my table and
picnic table. And we go in because there's usually three wasps that are trying to eat your Beyond Meatburger or get on your corn or whatever. They're just there. And everyone's afraid of them. And I'm like, don't move. Don't move. Don't swat at it. Don't try and hit it.
uh so we just move inside so between the wasps i was at a place like a few days ago getting my car washed as you do when it's finally summertime here in canada you finally pull the trigger on the 89 dollar in indoor outdoor car wash yeah that doesn't seem interior interior exterior i can't even talk today i know what you mean and um
I was sitting there and dangling by my head as I turned to my left was, and I took a picture of it and put it on social media because I thought it was so cruel, was three bags that are hornet wasp traps filled with wasps buzzing around these bags. So it attracted the wasps to come in through this little valve and then they can't get back out. Gotcha. And so I'm sitting there going,
I'm glad I'm not dining out because if I was looking over my shoulder at three bags full of dying wasps buzzing around, it really is a dilemma. I think, you know, whenever I've been to LA or, you know, Palm Springs over the years, California, even Florida, I was down there several years ago with friends eating outside with such a pleasure. And I don't know what they do, but there's no bugs. I don't know if they spray every the hell out of everything that, that,
you know, that there's nothing alive. Yeah. I don't know. I feel as though it's just seasonal. Cause like here, I mean here in Toronto, at least so far this year, fingers crossed can't speak to cottage country, but hasn't been crazy. So I saw you tweet that you had a mosquito bite between your toes. I was like, that's not happening or at least here when I'm like dining out, but maybe the city's pollution is so crazy that it keeps the mosquitoes away. Or maybe they just can't afford to live here.
Well, having a mosquito bite between your toes, you might as well have it on. I'm very sorry. Welcome to live podcasting. I have, I have someone here fixing my, I have someone here fixing my water tank and Poppy, I'm telling you right now, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just
I, I, I. Doesn't Poppy know we're recording? Poppy doesn't understand. He has been, he has been just a little monkey today. He really has. Like he's just been, he's, he's more Yorkie than Morkie. And I wish you were more Morkie than Yorkie. Anyway. Explain to Morkie.
Well, a Morky is Maltese and a Yorkshire Terrier. Oh, okay, okay. And you can get varying degrees of whatever that is. Middy, for example, was more Maltese than Yorkshire Terrier. He is more Yorkshire Terrier. Oh, okay. Oh, my God. Maybe we pause it for one second? Sure, whatever you'd like.
Hello, we're back. We took a little bit of a respice to stop the dog from barking. So now he's got a squeaky toy. That might be a whole other new thing. I'm trying to get him onto a bully stick. It's a bull penis. Apparently a bully stick. I just found this out. I thought a bully stick. I'm vegan. My dog is not vegan. So for anyone that wants to write in and say, so you give your dog stuff like that? I'm like, yeah, I do. It's my dog. And right. Anyhow.
um so i have i bought i was reading something about sorry we're moving from mosquitoes now onto bull penises uh bully sticks which was a very healthy alternative to rawhide so i was online thinking don't give your dog rawhide a lot of dogs have problems yada yada yada so i'm like not doing that then they're like try bully sticks and a bully stick is and i don't know why the first three words weren't
bull penis for your dog. Okay, that's five words. So when I found this out, Chris, my road manager, told me that. He goes, you know what that is, right? I'm like, yeah, it's a bully stick. He said it's the wiener of a bull. I was so mortified that I can't even tell you. And this is a dog that eats this thing and then kisses my face. No wonder they don't name it what it actually is. Nobody would buy it. It's disgusting. No.
Like, I'm appalled that that even exists. Well, wait till you get a dog, Caitlin. You and Kyle. There's no chance. Well, I just...
But I mean, I think there's a lot of products. I mean, you see all sorts of horrific things that, you know, people are buying for their pets and you do, it's every kind of animal part in the sun. And I don't buy them because it is a pig's ear or a pig's hoof or kneecap, or, you know, I've been into pet stores where they have like a, they have a long line of, of, you
like bulk bins that are just filled with animal dehydrated animal parts so when I saw these stick things bully stick I guess I was I don't know manipulated into well you didn't know you were like oh cute a bully stick it sounds kind of adorable and then you realize later that it's not so adorable I also find that those things always when I had a dog before I remember some
Somebody gave her a pig's ear and they were like, she is going to love this thing. And it was really smelly. And the smell of this thing, which makes perfect sense is so hideous.
And now I'm just thinking of this dog kissing my face. Anyway, needless to say, the last bully stick that he will be ingesting and the whole, I take it away from him. I went online and it said, don't, if you have a little dog, literally when it gets down to four inches, you have to throw it away. I honestly can't. I can't believe it. This is how long they are. And I know if you've just tuned in,
You know, you might want to, should we have some kind of a disclaimer? So when you buy these things, you can buy them. Some of them are three feet long. Really? I'm not, I'm really having, I've had a difficult, I'm glad we're talking about this because I've had a very difficult time trying to figure out
the logistics of how this works. And if it is just a tendon that goes far back inside of the animal's body, because the ones that I have that I did buy for Poppy were like a foot long, 12 inches long.
But there are ones in containers that can, they look like they're umbrella racks that are three feet long. I'm not, I would Google this to find out, but the FBI agent who's monitoring my phone would be appalled. So I'm not going to do it. I can't handle that. We're off to a great start with, you know, mosquitoes and a bag of ground wasps.
Hey, yeah. But I've had mosquito bites literally on my vagina before. And I, I'm just going to say that I don't know how, but you know, just sitting on a chair and like, like right on the inner side of your leg, I've had mosquito bites. I've literally gone, Oh my God, I have a mosquito bite on my lady parts.
I think they're more attracted to some people. I don't know if this is like a blood type thing or not, but I do feel like they don't care for me that much. And they're very attracted to my husband because he just was recently on a golf trip in Cape Breton. And when he came back, it looked like he had been dragged through shrapnel.
He was just completely torn. Black lies or mosquitoes? It was a combination of everything. And he has kind of an allergic reaction to stuff. And so he came in and he had been FaceTiming with me from the golf course and he was complaining about the bugs, but I honestly didn't believe it until I saw what he looked like.
And he looked like he was in the swamps of Vietnam. I mean, it was crazy. And his golfing partner was the same. So I think that it's just certain blood types. I mean, maybe I'm just like a sour Irish person who they have no interest in. Um, but I, I tend to get off kind of easy.
so you know and there's a lot of stuff we have to wrap we're going to come back we have lots to talk about today there was things that we were supposed to talk about last week which is how people met and I do want to get to that Jan Arden podcast I'm here with Caitlin Green Adam is here as always and don't go away we'll be right back
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Welcome back to the Jan Arden Podcast. I just want to say that we have someone with us today. I don't know whether I was supposed to say this or not, but I'm going to. Just our friend Sarah Burke is here.
And what's going on? Well, she just she's popped in. Sarah is probably going to be doing some stuff with us at some point. And we just wanted her. This is what's happened. I said, you know, Sarah, why don't you pop in on the podcast and just get a sense of kind of what me and Caitlin and Adam do on an average day? And you can kind of just prep yourself.
As we move forward into, you know, the fun times ahead. And what happens is I talk about being bit in my lady bits and bull penises. So welcome to the show. What an intro.
But yeah, it's going to be fun to have you along this fall. And please don't judge us on this show, Sarah. I hope you've heard other episodes. Usually we are very, very... Above board, is that fair to say? Above the belt? I don't know. Yeah, I don't know how I would describe our show loose to the point of sometimes we wind up talking about bull penises. So...
You never know where the road will take us. I have one mosquito contribution that may be helpful here. I saw a woman on a, like, almost like a cheese grater using Irish spring and just putting it around the area they were sitting having dinner. And apparently that keeps everything at bay if you live in cottage country. So I might try that this weekend. I've been getting some amazing suggestions. So, you know, I didn't plan on talking about this today, but this is how this show goes. So.
So this woman's like, do you have, and this is on Twitter, do you, on a, on a DM, do you have a power washer? And I said, yes, I do. I just bought a new one from Canadian tire. I love Canadian tire. No secret there. Feel free to sponsor us Canadian tire. She goes, well, my husband and I discovered this a few years ago and he loves using the power washer, put Avon skin so soft in the little thing that normally has the soap and
And mine does that. There's an attachment that you can, if you're doing your car, your deck, there's a little soap attachment on this thing. She goes, put it in there and then just go around your, wherever your patio or wherever you want and just spray skin so soft into the tree. So I have deeply considered that. There's something called a thermosel.
that is supposed to be absolutely dynamite. We have that. Does it work, Adam? Yes, it actually does. We have that. It's a little thing and you put a cartridge in and it's battery operated and it
It actually works. And my friend has one too. And we were in his backyard. No mosquitoes. Their mosquitoes were out. He fired it up. No bites, nothing. Battery operated. Like what does it do? Send out bad music? What does it do? No, there's like a cartridge that emits something and it's filtered through another sheet that you have to replace. And I'm not quite sure how it works. It's going to be Rick Astley. No, there's no music, but it looks like a little lantern. Forever, ever, ever.
It totally works. I actually have always really loved that song. Well, I do thank people for their suggestions because whenever I put anything out to the internet, people do come back. You know, gangbusters and stuff to do. Someone said to me, you know, if you have...
I forget what kind of cream it was. I want to say Noxzema. Sorry, Noxzema. But this woman was like, oh, mosquitoes hate Noxzema. I'm like, well, most people hate Noxzema. It smells very good. And it is not. My mom used to use that when I was a kid and it is still around. If you go into shoppers or drugstores, Noxzema on the shelf. Anyway, you're supposed to dilute it. One part Noxzema, two parts water.
I can't even fathom doing that and just, you know, voluntarily wiping this stuff on your body to keep mosquitoes away, but you'll also keep human beings at bay as well. And you will never be touched or caressed again by anybody, by a human, if you do that version. So thank you for that. But I don't think I'll be doing that one. Anyhow,
Uh, it's not fun. I have a very adverse reaction to mosquito bites. I get really red round circles. It looks like I've been used for dartboard practice.
And that I've been a goalie for a dartboard team somewhere in the UK or in Wales. But it's just, I cannot wait for the next three weeks to go by. I just can't stop thinking about the phrase that Noxzema had back in the day, which was Noxzema girls get noticed. Do you remember that? Yes, I do. And I always remember thinking that the reason why Noxzema girls get noticed is because they're radiating the smell of a hospital. It smells medical. Yeah.
Nothing smells like Noxzema. I don't mind Avon skin so soft. And I remember mom doing that. She did slather that on our bodies. But you know, you have that combination. Then you have your SPF.
50 that I always put on when I go out. Like really, there's nowhere I can go. I can't be around people. If I use all the stuff, I don't know what the B1, the vitamin B1 does. I need to actually look into that. Here's me. I just start popping it into my head five days ago.
But 10 people recommended it on Twitter. And as you know, Twitter is very medical. They're very known for their medical solutions. You know, everybody knows that ivermectin was the way to go during COVID. Yeah, horse goo. That was apparently the cure all along. When somebody told me B1, I didn't even question it. I started eating it. I'm thinking of you and your cool new smells. Yeah.
Anyway, I don't know. There was so many great things that we wanted to talk about last time. And I think we're going to leave the mosquitoes behind right now because we've got a few minutes left in this segment. And we're going to move on to something that I can kind of relate to is Beyonce. Because I've been compared to her so much over the years. She does background checks for collaborators. Yes.
Really? Yeah, I saw that. Did you do a background check on me? We have had you thoroughly checked out by a private eye. Oh, thank God. Sarah, there's a couple of parking tickets that you need to really address. But other than that, you've got a really clean bill of health. Some of your outfits are questionable, but you know what? You're fine. Okay.
Relieved, relieved. So Caitlin, she brought this story in, but go ahead, Caitlin. It was something about like the New York post reported this, that she basically really checks people for the me too kind of stuff and
anything like that. She really has them checked out. I don't know if it's, is it writing songs with people or what's it for Caitlin? Yeah. She really, she just doesn't want to be surprised about any of her collaborators after the fact that they wind up having, you know, cause you think about all these producers, these like maligned producers over the years. And I think the music industry still is one of these, um,
outlying places where Me Too never really, like never really kicked in, like the same way that it did with actors and stuff in Hollywood. And you still had all the Dr. Luke and like all that unresolved stuff. So as someone who takes her business seriously and optically, like she manages her image to like the nth degree.
So she's just thinking to herself, you know what? I'm not going to have this producer who I find out was taking advantage of young artists back in the day, collaborate on singles with me. And then I'm dragged into the mud. And I mean, good for her because like who wants that? It feels like it's the type of due diligence that lots of major artists should be doing now because that Dr. Luke thing, you're thinking you think you're doing a single with like a reasonable, decent person. And then that pops up and just why bother?
Yeah, well, I mean, there's one song that we all know that Drunk in Love song, apparently the producer or one of the producers was accused of sexual assault. So that was after the fact. Maybe that's what triggered the whole thing is after that happened. But I even know with writing the Jan show that there was background checks done on writers. You just kind of do your due diligence with social media, right?
with all those platforms, because there's a lot of stuff you can find out there as well. But I don't think...
that solely in the entertainment business. I would imagine now with what's going on in broadcasting and in media, that people would be much more closely scrutinized. Don't you agree? Yeah, you would certainly hope so. And especially because you realize that lots of employers are, it's like, this is just going to come back and bite you in the butt later because nothing now is going to stay underground forever. I mean, some things do, but it's
I do feel like why not, especially if you're Beyonce, you're like, I am a relatively scandal free person. And so why am I going to walk face first into the hornet's nest of someone else's past issues? Well, then again, you kind of wade slowly into that cancel culture realm. Yeah.
And none of us are... Anyway, he's giving me the wind up. We're not exempt of making mistakes and making missteps. So I want to go on the record as saying that none of us are perfect. But I think we're ready to draw that line. You're listening to the Jan Arden Podcast. I'm here with Caitlin and Adam. Sarah Burke is along today too. We'll be right back. Welcome back to the Jan Arden Podcast. We're so glad to be back because last week...
we weren't able to record. I know it was a mess last week. It was, you know, so, so Rogers went down, there's a lot going on, but it was so funny when Caitlin and I and Adam were trying to figure out how can we do this? And I'm like, well, I'll go here and we can go. I know a friend of mine that's on this network and blah, blah, blah. And, and then Adam's like, I can drive to my parents' house because they're on something different. It was such a debacle, but
The frightening part is that one carrier could do wreak such havoc in a country with banking. I happen to be, you know, someplace where I couldn't even pay for my parking. I couldn't get my car out of the parking lot. Right.
And I couldn't figure out why. I was saying to Caitlin, I can't get out of here until like 2 p.m., but then I realized they were all waiting for something to happen so that your ticket could go. I don't even know what happened, but a parkade, a random parkade in downtown Calgary, I couldn't get out of because of Rogers. Yeah, let alone like Customs and Borders, let alone 911, let alone like hospitals, like all these things. This is the problem. And if you...
If you think this is bad, don't look too closely at our grocery chains. So I just feel like you can't have, you know, this type of a monopoly going on forever in perpetuity without acknowledging that this type of stuff's going to happen. And if everyone's cool with it, then hey, I guess we're still going to continue on down that road. But it was such a hot mess. And then the government announced, I think they said they were like, we are going to demand that these companies work together in the event that there's an outage again. So I was like, so you're going to have like...
So Bell and other providers are going to have to pick up the slack if Rogers has an outage. And I don't know, skeptical me was like, I feel like somehow there's going to be some sort of new financial initiative that the government puts the bill on, aka taxpayers, where it's like, we're going to upgrade our infrastructure so this never happens again and you're going to pay for it. I think that's the best...
case scenario well there's also the whole um problem of how expensive it is caitlin yeah so unbelievably expensive to have any provider really i think bottom line you'll probably be paying 80 on a really cheap package with data and stuff that i think that's at the lower end yeah
I mean, it's cheaper. I probably pay 150 bucks a month for stuff. And I know we've talked about this before at my house here. I used to be on something else, but because I live in the country, I'm now on the Elon Musk star link internet. So when Roger went down, I didn't have any problems here in the house. I was like, yes, thank you, Elon. You're a
Not the greatest person in the world, but I do like Starlink because I was up and running. I was getting my texts. I was able to do everything, but I couldn't communicate with anybody because they were all on Rogers. So it didn't really help me. And I didn't really know of any other Starlink users that I could have hooked up with because that would have been terrible.
I only know one other person who actually has Starlink and they're in a remote kind of underserved location as well. And so they're at a cottage in the middle of kind of a national park. And so they set up Starlink. They love it. So I don't know. You guys are living in the future. It is fantastic. I'm envious. I cannot say enough about it. It is $179 a month. So between my cell phone, I'm doing almost $400 a month
Just to talk to people on my phone and to have internet in my remote rural area. But I guess it's part of being in the real world. There's no hardwired stuff out here. And everyone around me is always saying, oh, we were on this. We hate it. We can't, you know, I'd be watching something and it would just drop out. I would literally get that spinning thing. And between that and the mosquito bites, I was very close to actually moving to
a bigger center like Lethbridge. I was just going to pack it up and move somewhere where they actually had cables that ran under the ground.
Right. Well, I have to wonder, you know, at what point will people say, okay, you know, we're going to have to bring in some more competition. Like, was that Rogers day of darkness enough to change people's minds? What will they think? Because that's ultimately what kind of has to happen if you want anything to change. Will it light a fire for the CRTC to do things within four years? Maybe, maybe. Four years is lofty, Sarah. Yeah.
You're being very lofty with that four year thing. Well, yeah, something has to give here. You know, people, people need better programs. I had a friend say, I sure wish I could go on Ryan Reynolds mint. It's 40 bucks a month for unlimited data.
I'm like, well, welcome to living in a country with 390 million people where there's tons of competition. There's things down there I've never even heard of. There's networks. There's stuff that, you know, I just I don't know. But the 40 bucks a month, Ryan Reynolds, we love you. And we wish you would bring mint here to this country, Canada. He's Canadian. Yeah, he is Canadian.
That's the funny part. He's like, he's our spokesperson. Bring your gin and bring your cellular service and bring it here to this country. We welcome that. Yeah. And I don't want to brag. Are you winding me up again? We have to go. You have four minutes, four minutes. I was just going to say that Ryan Reynolds follows me on Twitter and Instagram. And there's a chance.
I could probably reach out to him and say, hey, I want to sign up for Mint. What do I have to do? Well, Jan, you need to live in Montana. So come on down.
Well, and I think it's also just one of those things where even within Canada, certain provinces have cheaper plans than others. So you'll have friends who like lived in Saskatchewan and then they'll move to Ontario, but they try to keep their Saskatchewan phone number and plan because it's way cheaper than it is here. So even within the boundaries of Canada, I still think there are like, there's room to improve.
Because that's clearly not a competition thing. Like, why would it be cheaper in Saskatchewan? I don't want to become the enemy or anything here, but I'm paying fifty five dollars a month. You might need to do some bookkeeping. But what do you what do you get for that, Sarah?
I am splitting 40 gigs a month with my boyfriend on that plan. With whom may we ask? With Rogers. That's really good. 55. Well, I think you Ontarians do much better than we do here in the prairies. Maybe it's just because there's more of you. There's more people there. Most of Canada isn't Ontario. I'm surprised it hasn't broken off into the Atlantic just from sheer weight. But here on the prairies, it really is ridiculous. And maybe it's worse...
I do roam like home because I travel so much. So I was just in Europe a couple of months ago and Rogers does pop up and they're like for 10 extra dollars a day, you can roam like home. And so I took it. So for the 10, 14 days I was there, I paid 140 extra dollars, which I thought was reasonable.
But this is where we get to. We're thinking that's reasonable to be able to use or piggyback on some other provider over there. But normally, I remember years ago coming back from Europe and having cell bills that were $1,400. Oh, for sure. What was that about? It was criminal. It just doesn't make any sense. Well, remember long-distance phone calls, guys? Absolutely. Back in the day.
when you got an echo, someone would say something and then they would say something again. And you had to, like, time it out so that you weren't like doing vocal ping pong. And those calls, I remember my mom and dad timing it. My dad had a stopwatch because we had an aunt over there in the UK and he would click this. And I kid you not, you got four minutes. Say what you got to say. Like jail calls. I was about to say that. Yeah. Yeah.
No, I paid for all my brother's jail calls. I had to get him. I had to get him phone cards. Yeah. My phone cards almost out. I'm like, OK. But yeah, the jail didn't pay for those at all. Not only did they record your calls, but they made you pay for it. I used to get a lot of those at the radio station in Kingston. I was constantly answering calls from the prison there. Wouldn't you have to be on some kind of a call list? I know my brother could only have like 10 phone numbers on his call list. And that was it. Yeah.
I have no idea how it worked, but yeah, I'd be like, what's going on, FM 96? And then they'd be like, you're pretty. Collect call from and delete.
Yeah. Oh. Even in university with the long distance calling cards. So when I first went to university, I had these little cards that my mom had bought for me. And it was like, yeah, you know, you have $20 on there. Better last the whole year. Good luck. I remember that. Your mom and my dad would have really hit it off. Yeah.
You're listening to the Jan Arden podcast. This is a potpourri of shows today. We have not, we actually, we did touch on a topic that we're intending to touch on. So there you go, Beyonce. We'll be right back. Don't go away.
Welcome back to the Jen Arden podcast and show. I've been working on a new jingle for us. I'm going to add some harmonies to that. Caitlin said that she would sing and also do an interpretive dance. We'll try and post that as soon as possible. Okay. New topic for a new segment. And I'm glad to be talking about this because I have every intention on making my dog poppy.
an influencer, a dog influencer. Cause I'll tell you right now, people, there's some fricking money in this. No kidding. So I don't, how do you, how do you become a dog influencer? Like what, what do people do? Caitlin? What, what the hell, what are the steps?
I think they just start... I mean, my guess is it would start by probably buying a bunch of followers to like legitimize your... Like the overall appearance of your account and then have a very cute dog and then post with some regularity and then have one or two videos really, really take off. And then after that, you're just going to probably continue to generate followers. And the key is like having your dog always on the explore page. So...
So I don't know how you do that. But I've randomly had a couple of photos that I don't know why the algorithm just plucked them out of the ether and decided to post them all over people's explore page. I want to be on the explore page. It doesn't make any sense, but you would need to do that for Poppy because all of a sudden, like I have not a crazy amount of followers and there would be, there was like a photo from my anniversary that I think had like,
over 100,000 views. Really? This doesn't make any sense. And it was all from the Explore page because if you look at the metrics, it can break it down. Right. So that's what you got to do. You got to get Poppy on the Explore page. I think you need to get into like outfits. Think of the bully sticks he could sell, Kate. Oh my God.
Yeah, people would want to watch that maybe for the wrong reasons. The puppy are in bull penis. Get it for $9.95. I don't know. I could write the jingle for it. Listen, contact us. We can do some work. Okay, so the three top dogs. Get your pens and pencils ready, people. Get them ready. Loki, the wolf dog.
Manny the Frenchie. I follow that one, actually. Harlow, Indiana, Reese, Ezra and May. They must be a pop family. I think they are. OK, this is what they're making. Five thousand bucks a post.
Or about $50,000 a year. So these dogs, oh my God, Loki the wolf dog has 2 million followers. He makes almost 400 grand a year. Why go to university? Why? Stop right now. Go get yourself the cutest ass dog in the world. Because your engineering is, it's a moot point. No, get out of it.
Sarah, quit your job. You know that you've wanted to for a long time. Get a shih tzu. Does Poppy have an Instagram or a TikTok? No, maybe did. But my other little dog and I just piggybacked him on her page. I'm not opening him a page. It's just not happening. I barely have time.
to service my legion of fans as it is. If Poppy's making 400 grand, though, you can just hire someone to put that content out. Exactly. Can you imagine the Poppy? I don't know what I guess people what do they say? They must be selling dog food, dog clothes, dog collars, specialized leashes, probably cooling scarves. I saw some dog on Instagram the other day that
had something that looked really cool. I was just going to buy it for myself. It's a scarf that you get wet, you tie around your dog's neck and it totally keeps their temperatures down because it's over their carotid arteries.
So all the blood is going in and out past this beautiful, cooling, very fashionable scarf, I might add, that comes in an array of colors and patterns and designs. Maybe Harlow, Indiana, Reese, Ezra, and May are selling those. I'm going to go look and see what these dogs are actually selling. Yeah. They sell a lot of dog stuff, like you say. But then sometimes they do things like with Airbnb or they do things with like a travel company. Right.
Where they go on a vacation and they're advertising that like, you know, we have pet friendly homes or this cool new hotel chain has pet friendly hotel rooms. And so they get initially free travel and discounts and then they start getting paid more per post. And so it really kind of depends.
I mean, the key also is like engagement rate. That is an area that I feel like a lot of companies don't really understand. Still depends on how many young people, frankly, you have working at your company. But a lot of people don't understand that like you can buy a lot of followers. So you'll see an account that has like 50,000 followers and then you go to their posts and it's a couple likes and then maybe three comments. You're like, they're buying all those followers.
It doesn't make any sense. Caitlin knows. Caitlin knows. Yeah, like the engagement rate is kind of the key. And a lot, but a lot of these accounts, like a lot of those dog accounts have really good engagement rates because everyone sends them around and they send them to their friends and they save them and they comment with little hearts and say how cute and all that stuff. So that's why they make so much money. I follow a little dog called Popeye the foodie.
And it's this little white Maltese dog that's just always got a fork and a knife in his hand. And he's in cute little outfits eating stuff. Yeah. He's at a proper brunch. Anyway, there really is some cute dog stuff. And I think we're living in a world where we're so inundated with really crap news and horrible, horrific things that are going on all the time that to have an algorithm that provides you with dog stories. I follow the dodo.
which is such a fantastic things, getting rescued people, stepping into their best selves, pouring water for 24 hours on a giant whale until the tide comes in to help him get back out to sea. People flipping turtles right side up, cutting netting off of them. Like all the kinds of stories where I'm going, wow, people aren't all a-holes. And as I'm saying this to you, I'm staring at a turd that's over by my Ottoman. And I'm thinking, wow,
Pavi would be such a great little guy for Airbnb because he throws a spot on the floor that's hardwood. So that's not hard to pick up a turd. And it's actually a really good hard consistency. There's nothing watery about it. So the bully sticks are not causing any kind of digestive failure.
And when we hang up from this call or whatever it is, I will go over and pick that up with a great amount of ease, may I say. Poppy could sell hardwood. Yeah.
Poo repellent hardwood. Hardwood that repels pee and poo. You know what? Now we're on to something. I am going to get Poppy a page today. I'm going to do it. I'm just going to see. This is a challenge to ourselves because we're a huge show here, Sarah. I don't know if you know that, but we have two minutes left. We have the best listeners in the world we have.
We have just a great group of people and I think they get behind us. I think they are going to help us make Poppy an influencer. And I'll tell you right now, if Poppy starts making some money, it's all going to animal welfare. I ain't keeping it. Let's do this, people. We'll call them Poppy the Pooper. No, we have to think of something good for him. Well, I think people should tweet to the Jan Arden pod with their name suggestions for Poppy's Instagram account. And then you should set it aside and we should see how many followers we can get. Okay.
Issue a challenge. It's the Poppy Poo Challenge. We'll take poo out. Yeah. Poppy, I don't know. If anyone can think of Pops, the wonder dog. Nope. It's not hitting it in the feels for me. But listen, this has been a very interesting show today. I think we've learned some things. I will keep you posted on my mosquito bite between my toes. It's very, very horrible. I had sliders on.
So my toes must have been apart long enough for a mosquito to get in there. I don't know why you're laughing, Sarah. I like to spread my toes out when I'm in the sun. Okay. A lot of people do. It's not just me. You do you.
And obviously it was enough time for a little Skeeter to get in there and do his worst, but I'll keep you posted on that. Caitlin, you keep us posted on, you know, whatever it is that you're going to be doing for the next, you know, Adam has always been constant contact and Sarah, you may not want to come back after this. So we may have ruined our chances with you. I hope not. I'll consider, I'll consider we'll talk.
She's going to do a background check on me now. You know what? I don't think Jan Arden's ever had a proper background check. I'm going to do that now. Thanks for listening. As always, you can subscribe to us. You can listen to us on all your favorite platforms and also listen to us on terrestrial radio. We thank you. Caitlin green, Sarah Burke, Adam Karsh. We are mighty and poppy the pooper. We bid you fond farewell and we'll see you next time.
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