Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
Another summer day has come and gone away. Since you've been gone, I want to go home or something like that. I think that's all I can sing without being sued. Welcome to the Jan Arden podcast. I'm home in Calgary at my kitchen counter. Caitlin Green is in Toronto. Adam Karsh, our engineer, is also in Toronto. And we have all returned. Well, I don't think Adam has, but Caitlin and I returned from our summer vacation.
Little getaways. And hopefully it's the beginning of many. Yes. Because we are now entering, we're entering into summer. We're clearly headed into it. Oh, Toronto is so beautiful today. And you were just recently here, so you know. I was there yesterday. I know. We've hit our stride weather-wise. Yeah, it was really beautiful walking around. I loved going down Queen Street and just
people's energy is so much different. I think where we've been the last couple of years, obviously we've had summers before, but this is the first summer where I think people truly feel like the light at the end of the tunnel is not a train coming towards them. I agree. Yeah. And also like, I have a couple of friends who are newly single and they're both, you know, they, they were kind of
a bit locked in, obviously, in the winter. The numbers weren't great. And then it's just crummy weather. And so they haven't really been feeling it. And this is the first summer where they feel like they can really have like hot girl summer. Like they can go out. They can go to patios. They can meet people. They're both going on trips to Europe. They can wander around in bikinis. They can do whatever they want. Yeah. Yeah.
And things feel like they're reopened a bit. So I just, I think that they're, I think that everyone has that vibe where we're kind of like side-eyeing and going like, yeah, are we going to all go to patios? Are people going to go to concerts? Are we going to do this again? And it feels right because some people, some people have four shots now, you know, so they're feeling good.
Yeah, I've been turned down for my fourth shot. I wanted to get it. Well, you know, I'm just too young. I'm too young. I'm too attractive. But they basically said, listen, you're at the five-month mark since your booster, which I got December the 13th.
and come and check with us in another couple of months. Because right now we're only doing plus 70. And people who have obviously underlying conditions where they absolutely qualify. My friend Lisa is feeling much better. She's back at work. Her eyes are not quite as wonky as they were. My drummer, Gary, had COVID a couple of weeks ago. And we obviously start touring on –
Tuesday. No, Monday we start in Moncton. On Monday, I'll be in Moncton. Tuesday, I'm in Halifax. Wednesday, I'm in Summerside. I can't even believe I'm saying this. Wow. But yeah, so we're really excited about that. Gary's fine. He's just got a little residual fatigue, but he's obviously testing negative and his doctor's given him the A-OK. So we're doing everything on the up and up.
So I'm really glad for him. And this is his second time getting it. So it wasn't, he wasn't thrilled. He's like, I just completely give up. Yeah. Yeah.
And I think that's what happens, you know, for some people, maybe it takes getting it and then recovering and hopefully recovering just at home, like with a bad flu because you've got the vaccine. So and then you're like, OK, well, I'm going to have to get out there and do things a little bit more than I was before because you're like, what am I going to do? There's nothing I can do about this. It's all over the place. Yeah. Do you think, Caitlin, that people are playing catch up with this?
stuff that they haven't been doing. Do you feel like with your friends that there's this urgency to like, oh, I got to make up for all the stuff I didn't do? Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, I think so. I think that I have more friends interested in booking trips. I mean, everyone likes to travel, but they really want to prioritize travel. They really want to prioritize time together with people who they haven't been seeing as often and going to restaurants again and just doing all the things that they took a break from doing. And then when they did do them, they kind of felt like,
a little uneasy about it. And so I think that now with the summer and the numbers going in the direction that they are, yeah, I think people are definitely prioritizing having their best summer life ahead of them. I feel very, you can feel everyone's shoulders dropping a few inches. For sure. It's like breathing has been so difficult the last little while because we didn't know what was coming. And now the narrative really has changed and COVID really has changed, um,
It's viciousness. Like people are still getting extremely sick. Don't get me wrong, but guess what folks? And I just had this conversation with my limo driver yesterday. Vaccinations. So I hate this thing. Yeah, here we are. We're getting out of it. And you know, it was no big deal. Like vaccinations didn't do shit. I'm just like,
Sir, the reason that we are out of this is because billions of people are vaccinated and it has changed the virus, changed how it's the viral loads in people. I'm no scientist, although I did fail biology 10.
No, that doesn't make sense, does it? I'm no scientist and I didn't get into bio 30, but still, I believe that science is an important part. Anyhow, but it's just it's just that whole thing of, yeah, we have some protection and we're not getting as sick as we could have been getting because most of us are vaccinated. That's why we're getting really crappy chest colds.
and conjunctivitis and sores in our mouths, but we're not going to the hospital. Ta-da! I got a kick out of it this week when North Korea announced their first COVID cases.
That was such a big wall moment. I was like, even for a hermit country, like I don't think you've escaped the global pandemic, but it's the same thing where it's that, you know, that campaign of misinformation and this weird little corner of the world where, you know, they say like Kim Jong-un doesn't even go to the washroom. Like he doesn't go number two. Our Supreme leader doesn't have to poo. Well, I don't really, I've never pooed. So I, I'm, I'm with it. That's nice. Yeah. I don't, I don't know what that is.
Yeah, it's so silly, right? It's really crazy how they've painted him and how they portray him that he's somehow above bodily functions and has no erectile dysfunction and doesn't eat French fries. And he's hot. They're like, oh, he's the most handsome. They're like, okay, well, we all have eyes. Yeah. So...
But yeah, I got a real kick out of that this week. I was like, oh, good for you guys. First one, eh? You just managed to escape it. Cool. Yeah, right. Well, it's good that we are coming into a whole new us. I hope that we've learned a few lessons along the way. But, you know, aside from all of that, May to me means wedding season.
Do you have invites coming? Well, I think I'm too old to be invited to a lot of weddings because I am in my, I'm still calling it my late 50s. But I think for you guys, your age, there's still a lot of weddings going on. And of course, for me, my friends' kids are getting married. So yeah, I'm dealing with a whole new generation.
But when I was in Europe, lots of bridal parties, hilariousness, women going down the street with sashes, tiaras, high heels, ridiculous things hanging off of their hats that their girlfriends made for them. And so they're getting ready. I guess this is sort of their frosh moment.
pre-wedding. Wedding frosh? Yeah, the wedding frosh stuff. But I just said to Chris, my gosh, they just, it's everywhere. Like people are getting married. They're finally feeling like we can have a hundred people at this wedding. We can do a huge party.
And I know that some people are actually now doing their party. They got married by the justice of the peace over the last couple of years, and now they're doing the big party with friends. So yeah, that's pretty exciting. I had two canceled weddings during the pandemic and they both, we know, quote unquote eloped. Like they just went and did a quiet ceremony, just the two of them and the officiant. And now they're talking about when will the party be? What will that look like? And I think it's great because it sort of has changed the,
the vibe of the day for them where now they can just have fun and see friends. And it's really just about celebrating and you're not getting caught up in the format of the day and the photos and the first dance. And like a lot of things that I think actually really stress out the bride and groom unnecessarily. So, and you don't have to do the bachelor or the bachelorette. Everyone just like comes out and hangs out, has a bunch of drinks and food and goes home happier for it. But you still do the garter belt, right? And do you still get hoisted up on the chair and do you still chuck the
some flowers like over your shoulder and have all the drunk people scrambling to. I never did any of that. Oh, okay. I got hoisted on the chair. That was fun. Yay. I'd be too worried about people hoisting me up on a chair, but let's just skip past that. Have you ever been in a bridal party? I've been in two. Yeah. Yeah.
Bridesmaid? Yeah, I was a bridesmaid twice. And both times, how hilarious is this? Each bride chose the exact same color of bridesmaid dress. Seven? No, dusty shale, everyone. So each bride chose dusty shale. Is it gray? Shale is a wide reaching variety of colors.
In this instance, it represented kind of a dusty moss green almost with a little bit of seafoam in there. Anyways, the hilarious part was the first bride chooses dusty shale. So then you go online to the website and you choose your own dress. But she has a specific fabric that she wants. So it's like a chiffon-y type looking thing anyway. So we spent $300 on that. Okay. Then the...
Then the next one chooses Dusty Shale. Again, same dress provider and everything. And then I'm like, sweet, what are the chances? I've got Dusty Shale ready to go. Oh, no, but I want like a slightly different fabric. I was like, are you kidding me? So tell me, I don't...
so it really is expensive to be bridesmaid. So if you are doing multiple weddings, like over the course of even the year, they're saying now, um, a little birdie sent me this information, Caitlin green, and it's,
Like $825 on the average that they spend on their attire. I think that stat is actually a bunch of different things put together. Okay, sorry. Let me back up here. $825 on attire, pre-wedding events, and the wedding itself. I'm not sure exactly what that means, maybe getting there or...
or gasoline or, but it can really be expensive for somebody that that's their rent money. Yeah.
Yeah. And also now I think you have to consider too, like with inflation, everything costs more money and everyone has less money. But when I read that number, I actually thought it was low because these destination bachelorettes have become a really big deal. And I'm guilty of all this nonsense because like I got married in Italy, my bachelorette was in Montreal, but you know, like, so I was like, I'm the jerk that did this.
But it wasn't quite as reviled, I think, when I got married now because it then became commonplace for every wedding. And so people who were bridesmaids for like three or four in a summer had like all of their weekends were spoken for. So at the end of the day now, I'm kind of like, oh, maybe I should have like taken a little bit more consideration for what this was actually doing to my friends. But then I went around and did it for all of my friends as well. So we all got on the crazy train together. Yeah.
Well, we're going to talk about that when we come back. I want to talk a little bit about destination weddings and what it costs and how cool it is or isn't or whatever. Don't go away. It's Jan Arden Podcast. We're talking about summertime weddings.
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Welcome back. I'm Jan Arden, and you are listening to a podcast. I know there's hundreds of thousands of them out there, but ours is particularly good. You can hit subscribe. That way you'll never miss it week after week. We are still technically on season one. Episode one, episode two.
31, I think. I think this is 131. 131. 131. But you know, it says a lot about us, folks. It says a lot about who we are to be doing this 131 weeks in a row. We're still here. Summer weddings. I think, and you pointed this out too, Caitlin, that Pinterest, Instagram...
are putting a lot of pressure on people to do weddings because they're having their own hashtags, Jill and Bart wedding 2022, stuff like that. And they want you to, you know, tag your pictures, hashtag them. How much pressure do you think that puts on people to do unique destinations, unique clothes, unique dance? Everyone's dancing down the aisle now and doing like,
choreographed moves to get up to the altar and having everyone that's sitting there involved in the dances and they want to get them on TikTok and YouTube. Like there's so much more crap going on now. Not crap, but you know, you didn't deal with TikTok. Okay, go. I was like, I hate those things. Yeah.
Thank God no one asked me to do that. I think they knew better. But yeah, no. But I mean, it happens a lot. TikTok's big. People want their weddings to go viral. Well, that's the thing, right? And again, you return to social media and it becomes this opportunity for everyone to kind of like be a celebrity for the day. And that's how you feel. You're getting your hair and makeup done. Everyone's looking at you. You've hired a photographer. You're planning this whole big party. And...
It's tied into a lot of pressure and a lot of stress. I had a destination wedding, but I really, really, really actively did it. Who was there? How many people were there? We managed to have almost 80 people at our wedding. So that was impressive. What year was this? This was in 2014, I think.
And when we did this, I thought for sure, because we chose Italy. And when we chose it, I was like, maybe we'll get 20 people. And I didn't care. I wasn't like, oh, they better all come. I knew we were going to be losing a lot of people, but this was what I wanted. And so then everybody was like, yeah. She didn't mean that the way it sounded. I didn't mean that the way it sounded. She didn't want to lose a lot of people.
But I'm like, I understood if they said we can't go. That's what I mean. Like I've had friends pick destination weddings. Yeah, yeah. And I'll say, I can't go. And it's ended friendships. Really? Because I'm like, girl, you chose the wrong spot. Like I can't make this happen. And then, oh, friendship over. And I'm like, well, look at. No, it's super not fair. So anyways, that aside. So we choose the wedding venue. Well, they weren't your friend to begin with. Sorry. That's just how I feel. If that is a deal breaker.
It just rolls eyes, sits down. Yes, 100%. And I feel fine about it. I don't feel caught up in that anymore. So when we chose the wedding venue that we did, we were really, really excited. And then more and more people just kept RSVPing yes. And I was like, this is amazing. And when I talked to my friends about it, they said, it's because it's forcing us to go to Europe. It's forcing us to go to Italy. And now we're planning...
we can do the wedding. We can see Kyle and Caitlin, and then we can go to blankety blank. We can go to, I get that too. Yeah. People turned it into this sort of like bucket list thing. And two people got pregnant at our wedding. I know. And it was really, it was really fun. And you know, one of my best friends, he lives in Singapore. And like, I remember when we chose this, I specifically wrote to him and was like,
do not feel pressure to come. I have chosen like a jerkishly far destination and we can celebrate together another time. And he was like, do you know how many horrible destination weddings I've been to? This is Tuscany. Like I am coming. So he came and a lot of people surprised us and they came and we turned it into, where did people stay? So,
So we had a lot of space for them on the property. And then we also knew of another property that was like just down the hill. And so a lot of people stayed there. And then a few other people only came in for the one night and they stayed in a nearby town. And this was like a stop through on a tour of Italy that they were doing.
And we had some friends who lived in London, so it actually wasn't that far for them. And then we had two friends get married in Tuscany after our wedding because they liked it. Because they loved it. Because they loved it so much. And also, here's something wild. Even with the euro exchange to the Canadian dollar, it was probably 35% less expensive than if we got married in Toronto. Wow.
Is that right? And the experience was unmatched. Like they know, you know, Italy, they know how to do food and wine and the venue and the weather and just, it made everyone hang out for four days. So we planned some really amazing things for everyone. We had like buses take us into this little town square nearby for a wine festival that was happening while we were there. And the rehearsal dinner, literally we were at, we had like a little villa set up on the property. We just did a bunch of pizzas. My parents did a whole spread of like,
you know, aperitifs like cocktails and cheese and fruit and prosciutto. And it was just, it was wonderful, but it was very chill. Like I never did a hair and makeup test. I did not see our flowers until our wedding day. Our friends took the photograph. They're photographers. We didn't have a DJ. We had playlists. Like it was different. It was very different. Playlists on your phone, right? Playlist on a computer.
Okay. And you just plugged it into the sound system and Bob's your uncle. We had like a cocktail hour by the pool, had its own playlist. Then dinner had a playlist and dancing had a playlist and it was great. And I just realized, you know, a lot of the odds and ends that you think you need for the wedding, you don't really need. When my little brother got married the first time, my band actually played. It was my wedding gift to him.
And I think we had, we'd only, I think I had a couple of records out. So I played good mother for the first dance, like with the actual band. I'll never forget it. I mean, he's been divorced twice now, but, um, it was, it was good. It was, it was fun, but I would highly recommend a computer playlist. I think it's a lot simpler than having me and five band members staying at the Banff Springs hotel. Yeah.
Alexa, stop. Oh, Alexa wants to join in. Where did she get married? I don't know. She just said, now playing. She's about to play something. Now playing your playlist. She did. She was about to launch into that. I'm telling you, I'm being watched. I'm being listened to. I mean, you are. It's so weird. Like Alexa. No, shit. Don't say it. Don't turn her on.
It was a thing too where we got, you know, and again, because it's in Italy. So the wedding planner at the venue started sending us DJs and they were really expensive. And when I went to their wedding DJ websites, it was like smoke machines and lasers and like really crazy dance music. And it's just not what we are like. Yeah.
So I said... You and Kyle aren't lasers and smoke machines? No. Oh, man. So we just sent back a polite, no, thank you. And then even when she tried to get me to do a hair and makeup test...
She said, okay, you've landed. You're going to have to go into town and rush through, but they have time for you. You can do hair and makeup. I said, how long is that going to take? She's like, probably about four hours. I was like, I'm not spending a half day of my vacation. I'm going to be by the pool. I don't care. These are professionals. I want simple hair and makeup and I don't care. And to the point where like all my bridesmaids couldn't believe it. They're like, I think you should really go in or you should have them come earlier. I was like, I don't care. Just do whatever.
I would want to do something so simple if I got married. I think that ship has sailed, but I just would do something so simple. I probably would do Justice of the Peace. And there's no part of me, mind you, I'm not young, that would want to do Pinterest stuff or have a dance on TikTok or anything like that. But I do understand the pressure and I do understand wanting to make it
you know, super special. There's a weird thing happening. We've got a couple of minutes left in this segment. And I was surprised by this, Caitlin, that searches for goth wedding decor and vampire wedding dress inspirations are at an all-time high. All-time high. Yes, people wanting to choose black wedding
A lot of couples are leaning into what they're calling a dark wedding vibe with black accents like sage green or crimson red details. That's what they're telling their entire wedding parties is like, wear black. So what do you think of that?
I think you do you if that's what you want. I mean, it's your day. You do whatever you want. I just don't. I'm like, how will that look in photos? How will that look in 20 years? I don't know. I just am like, not that it really matters. No one's looking at their wedding photos in 20 years, let's be honest. But that just seems so unusual to me. And why now? Why is that at an all-time high now? Well, my nephew had a, I mean, he got married years ago. It's probably 13 years ago, 14 years ago. He had a
Eight inch high blue Mohawk. And I just remember my mom was so upset. She was just like, that's just, well, that's, he's going to regret that. I don't know. I don't, maybe he doesn't at all. I mean, they were both kind of very punkish. That's what they were doing. Yeah.
And the dinner was nice. Like nothing else was punkish. It was just the two of them. So they were on their own thing. The other thing that's happening big right now is a Bridgerton inspired sort of, I don't know what that entails, the big dresses and the huge hair kind of Regency decor. Oh.
Pastel colors, tea party-ish, bridal showers, like garden party-ish. Anyway, that's really big too. I thought it was going to be everyone having explicit sex. Oh, well, I'm sure that comes the night of. You're listening to the Jan Arden Podcast. We'll be right back. We're back. Jan Arden Podcast. I'm here with Caitlin and Adam. We're talking about summertime weddings, and it is exciting. I'm glad that we are...
coming into places of joy and excitement and kind of redos and having the party from the boring justice of the peace ceremony that you had, um,
In 2020, where you stood there scared with your carnation in your hand going, I do, but I don't really want to because I'm scared. So now you can have a big party. You can have a kegger, right? Like back in my day, you guys, like a lot of people, like in the 80s, some of my pals that were getting married, like right out of high school, they did keggers.
Now, I don't know if that'd be part or considered cottagecore kind of. Like it's another trend with weddings, enchanted forests and whatnot, woodland creatures and whatnot, flower crowns. But there was a lot of keggers. And literally, you'd write your name on a cup.
And it wasn't Sharpie. It was a huge jiffy marker that people wanted to smell as they passed it around. Cool. And you just pump the kegger all night and listen to somebody's truck doors open with a really bad distorted music. That was the wedding party. Yeah. I mean, I think our parents' generations had backyard weddings. My parents' reception was at my grandparents' house.
It was pretty chill. And I've been to cottage weddings where the couple got married at a family cottage. It's amazing. I love them. I do love the variety of weddings that I've been to, all the different styles, like whether it's a downtown wedding or another destination wedding. And you really see a lot of your friends in the wedding as well, like just what their personalities are like and what they care about and what they don't care about.
And you always have favorites, like for whatever reason that you have your, you have your favorites. The only thing I can't stand is the length of time some people have. And I think it's their wedding planner who forces this actually between the ceremony and then the reception starting. Why? Like five hours from now, meet us at the community hall here. We'll do the wedding at 1130. We'll see you guys at five. What? It's ridiculous. It was the number one thing I told our wedding planner that,
she was like, okay, so we'll have to schedule the time for your photos. And I was like, okay, so we're doing all the photos together before the wedding. And she was like, oh, but it's bad luck for the groom to see you before the wedding. That's like the superstition. And I was like, yeah, no, I don't care about that. So I want my guests to be able to see us right after. So we're going to move directly from the ceremony, directly to the cocktail hour, directly to the reception. Were you a little bit of a bridezilla?
No, I was like a chillzilla. I was like, I don't want to be inconsiderate to my guests. They're here on vacation and I just want this to be an easy day for them. And I don't want to lose the momentum, which I think happens because of this weird old adage that like, oh, you can't see each other before. Yes, you can. Do the photos before the wedding. Move on. We had our photo...
shoot taken the morning of our wedding. So that was all out of the way. And then when we got married in the ceremony, then there was like whatever the cocktail hour. And then so yes. And you're with everyone. Right. Exactly. Yeah. Cause then there's those weddings that happen where you don't even see the bride and groom really. And you're like, that's a shame. Yeah. So the average cost for a wedding in 2021, and I don't know how or who sort of qualifies this number was 22,500. Yeah.
So that doesn't seem that bad to me. I mean, I certainly...
have seen stuff on Instagram where it looks easily like a 50, 60, $75,000 day. Like I'm looking at the stuff they have. I'm looking at the tablescapes. Yes. I just use the word tablescape because we, yeah, thank you. And it just, I'm just like, wow, you want to spend that much money? There's so many other things that I would want to do. I would rather stick to that 20, 25 grand and have this 50,000 that,
down payment on a house. I know a lot of young people aren't really wanting to do houses now. They're just like, F that. I'm not buying a house. We're not getting tangled up in that thing at 28 years old. Not happening.
Yeah. I mean, that's rich person stuff. And I've been to some rich person weddings. I've been to weddings where I'm like, I'm pretty sure this was $100,000 or more. Holy crap. I've been to like three-day affairs where every single event was like a wedding before the wedding. And then there was another one and then there was the wedding. And I'm like, this whole thing cost someone a fortune. But these are like super rich people that I know.
So I'm like, and that's not me. Well, it's super, it's people with super rich parents. That's what I'm saying. Yes, exactly. A hundred percent. So bank of mom and dad have no problem. They're excited. They want all their friends there. And you know, it's like, so relative to, I guess how much money they have, it didn't become crazy, but like, yeah, I mean, when those things, when those weddings happen, Oh, you go, you go, they,
are fun. Someone else's paying is great. You do have to get a considerable gift because you're trying to compensate for how much money you're probably costing them to attend. But I mean, they've been fun. I've been to some blowouts and I've been to some weddings. I went to a city hall wedding that then was in a backyard. The most fun. So like on either end of the spectrum. So city hall ceremony, correct? Small. Yeah. Blankety blank. I do. I do. Hop in your car and go to somebody's backyard.
Yeah, and you know who that was? That was Marilyn. Oh, wow. Can we just say Marilyn Dennis, who got married to her high school sweetheart, Jim,
many years. Let's just say many years. Many years. And just, he's so lovely. And that's also what it is. You're like, you're so excited for your friends. So who cares where it even happens? And it was just this beautiful, classy, like downtown thing. And then you just have a quiet backyard celebration after. It was so effing great. It was amazing. I mean, I really, I actually do really love all the weddings I've been to. So yeah,
I kind of like them the more I think about it. Maybe I miss having so many. Well, there is a bunch on the way for 2022. Wedding planners are running off their feet. They're really having difficult times with venues. Like it is happening big time. And I guess May is one of the biggest months for weddings.
period. And the other big one, which really surprised me, I don't know where this stat came from, was December. Yes. I've been to two Christmas weddings. Okay. Someone can fill me in on that because I'm thinking that was so, I did not expect that. I'm thinking, oh, it's going to be September. It's going to be fall. And then everyone's worrying about rain or snow or weather, Christmas. So yeah, obviously it's an indoor affair all across the board.
It was beautiful. Oh my gosh. Two of our very closest friends got married right around Christmas and the venue was beautiful. The photos were outside. They were snowy. The girls were in these like faux fur stoles, you know, and there were Christmas trees set up inside the venue and it was just cozy and magical. I loved all the sparkling lights. Again, I'm realizing as I talk that I'm a bit of a sucker for a party. So I'm like, I loved it. Well,
Whatever you're going to do, we wish you really good luck out there. And I hope you have a really beautiful day. I had one wedding happen here at my house. It was one of my favorite days of my life. My dear friend's daughter, Maya, got married to her husband, Mike. There was like 120 people. There was chairs set up in my backyard. And I was like,
It was a perfect, perfect day. The weather held out. People parked all the way down Jan's Road. Have you ever seen pictures on Instagram? There was cars parked as far as you could see. And the only thing, you know, that I just didn't want people coming in and using the bathroom. So I rented a really beautiful porta potty, the kind where the trailer backs in. There's stairs going up to two doors. It's like a construction trailer.
There's like a little water thing where you can rinse your hands. Do you know that
One person used the facility. Nobody in a, it was three hour. We did appetizers, champagne. The ceremony was here. It was about 90 minutes all in. And then everyone went straight from here to bright Creek, which is 20 minutes away to an already decorated, beautiful hall, like a wooden lodge. But I'm thinking it was the most expensive port-a-potty in the world.
For one. For one. I'm like, somebody should have gone in there and done a few steamers just to make it worthwhile. Like, I just, nobody used it. They were all going in the woods? Or what the heck was happening? Nobody went to the bathroom. I'm not kidding you. Oh, they did. But where'd they go? Well, here's the thing.
Anyway, sorry. Sorry for everyone listening. That was inappropriate. I did not. I liked it. I did not mean to. I should have said lay some cable or pinch one off. Drop some kids off at the pool. That's terrible. Oh, sorry. That's terrible. Really? Have you ever heard that one? Well, you're listening to the Adam Karsh podcast, and we will be right back after these important messages. Bye.
Oh, welcome back. It's good to reminisce about the old wedding days. You're listening to the Jan Arden podcast. We've all been to many, many weddings in the course of our lives. And Caitlin brought up a very interesting topic, queries, queries during the break.
How drunk have you been at a wedding? Have you ever hooked up with somebody at a wedding? Have you ever crashed a wedding? Have you ever gone to a wedding of people you don't know? I'm going to put a checkmark beside that one because yes, I have. Do you get invited to like fan weddings and then you go? Well, no, not so much that, but although that would be a really fun idea. I had done a job years ago in a casino. I believe in...
I want to say I was in Nova Scotia and there was another wedding going on in another huge part of this facility. And they were very drunk by the time my show was over and we were wandering back to our hotel rooms and
there was people in the hallway, oh my God, Jan Arden, we knew you were playing here. And then it kind of gets out of hand and the bride wants a picture. And then I was still drinking in those days and a few of us ended up going to this wedding and just drinking all their drinks and like dancing and stuff. So that's the closest I've come to crashing a wedding. But I have been extremely drunk at weddings over the years, like just drinking alcohol
Stupid things like rum cokes and just anticipating the midnight snacks coming out, which usually consist of some kind of a bun with meat in it and potato salad. I mean, the kind of weddings I went to were very...
budget weddings. If they cost $2,500, I will eat my brassiere. I have held it together and I'd say, maybe I'm like 50-50 on that. My friends partied at weddings. It got crazy. And I think the people who got married first were
really ate it on the bar bill because we were way, we were like, we were just so excited that we were all getting together to celebrate our friends and it was an open bar and like all this stuff. So I think they got hit with the heftiest bill and then everyone gets a little bit more jaded as you end up going to like four weddings a year. So yeah, I feel, I do feel sorry for our friends who got married first and,
But yeah, there were some huge ragers. And then you went to the after parties and the after parties would, you know, people are up playing beer. An after party at a wedding? Oh, we would do an after party. Because the venues would eventually say, get the hell out of here. And then if you're in a city, everyone would go to a bar. Or if it was in Toronto, then somebody would... Oh, it makes my head hurt. It just makes me feel so...
And you wake up at 2.30 in the morning and you're thinking, why did I do that? Oh, I went to a wedding in Perth. And then afterwards, everyone went back to the bride's parents' house. And they have this big, beautiful, amazing farm. And so we all go back to the house. They have this pool in the backyard. Everyone's jumping in the pool. People are playing beer pong until sunrise. It got crazy. Yeah.
So, yeah, no, I've partied at a few weddings. Well, I think when mature people get married, that's a little less apt to happen. But, yeah, it really was. But when I was a kid, there's nothing worse than being a kid at a wedding. You know, your parents get invited, but also the children are made to feel welcome. And a lot of weddings these days...
You're pretty much told in no uncertain terms that your children are not welcome. They don't want kids at the wedding. They want to keep it an adult thing. But sometimes people bring like a nine-year-old. So imagine me and my little brother going to these weddings. There's a punch bowl, inevitably, that is laced with something. And hopefully...
I mean, the weddings that we went to when we were kids, every table had like a bowl, a plastic bowl on it filled with a variety of chips, like a snack mix out of a bag. Like these are the weddings that we went to. But I just remember being so bored and just the head table was wrapped like in paper with paper mache figurines at either end. Like,
I didn't know anybody that had any money. I don't recall ever being at a posh wedding in my life, ever. I've always gone to where my friend Teresa, Teresa, forgive me for this. When she got married, there was some people living on their property in a motor home.
I'm not kidding you. And they lived there. They came because they were having a few hard times, but they were going to come for like a few months. Well, they ended up being there for almost 30 years. Oh, geez. Living in their motor home on the property. And they were great people. But anyway, Marguerite was very crafty, the woman that lived in the trailer with her husband, Wilf. And she made all of Teresa's flowers out of Kleenex.
Oh, that's very sweet. I know it is, but God, do we get laughing about that? You guys, we get laughing about the arrangements made out of Kleenexes and the fancier ones were made out of coffee filters. Okay. Well, she's very crafty. That's hard. Like I could never do that in a million trillion years. She made hundreds of them, hundreds. That's so nice. With pipe cleaners. And I just, and I sang...
Teresa and I were talking about this a few weeks ago. She goes, do you remember singing amazing grace at like the wedding ceremony? But I did, I stood there and I sang amazing grace with the organist and I'm thinking kind of a dark song to start your life off with. Mind you, they're still married. That's good. Well, I think, you know, I'm trying to think back, you know, we had a lot of, we had, we had quite a few kids at our wedding. Um,
I liked it. And then in the photos, they're all cute. And, you know, I see my friend's kids now and they're older and like the baby was there. And then, you know, usually they would leave a bit early or one person would go home or they, you know, a lot of people found sitters because they were obviously traveling to frigging Italy. So they were like, we're not necessarily bringing our kid with us. Um,
Um, but I went to some weddings as a kid. I was a flower girl in my cousin Lisa's wedding and I was really excited. I was like wearing a dress and like doing whatever the hairdresser, I had bangs, the hairdresser curled my bangs into like weird, into weird ringlets. And then she hairsprayed them. And I was just beside myself. Like I knew how ugly it looked. I wasn't like a clueless kid where I was like, this is great. I was like, this looks like
I have been brutally roasted by this small town hairdresser. And I went into the bathroom and washed my bangs again to get rid of it. Did it work? Oh, it did work. I mean, I completely fixed it. But I mean, little eight-year-old me is in the bathroom of the church washing my... Oh, I can just see it. It was crazy. So I think the ones that I went to, I liked it because I had this weird...
thing as a kid where I wanted to be an adult. So I wanted to do all the adult things. I wanted to be with all the adults all the time. That's kind of an only kid thing too. That's an only child syndrome. Yeah. Not syndrome, but you're around older people all the time. Exactly. So that was kind of like in my mind, I was like, these are my peers. So I was just so excited to go and be invited that I really liked it.
Well, I mean, I just, I have these visceral memories of being a kid at weddings and having to get dressed up and wearing these white patent leather shoes and putting tights on like, you know, opaque tights, pulling them up over my underpants and having a dress and, and listening to all the speeches, but just being like, please let this end, let this end at some point.
and not really recognizing the songs. And I have this memory that's so clear of almost everyone of the, and these were big affairs. These were country people, my mom's side of the family, tons of relatives. They were 200 people. Wow, yeah. And I think most of the dinners were potluck. I think everybody brought something. It wasn't like they had an $8 a plate dinner. But everyone, you guys, was smoking.
Oh, for sure. They were eating pie, drinking coffee out of those giant metal casks that had 300 cups of coffee in them, smoking, eating pie and drinking coffee. And then then the bar started. But it was cash bar.
And I remember the tickets were a buck a piece and there was someone sitting there from probably the Legion where the most of these weddings took place selling rolls of tickets. Yeah. Yeah. That tracks. The only thing I'll say is if you have a destination wedding, you can't have a cash bar.
Okay, well, that's our final word. That's our final word on what has been everything you need to know about wedding season. We're so proud. We really curated this episode to make sure that you didn't make any of the same mistakes we did. Listen, destination at home, in a legion, in your backyard, whatever it is, we wish you all the best of luck.
And the best is yet to come, as they say. Thanks for listening to the Jan Arden Podcast. On behalf of Caitlin Green, Adam Karsh, we'll see you next week, or we'll certainly be hearing from you, or you'll be hearing from us. Truly do. This podcast is distributed by the Women in Media Podcast Network. Find out more at womeninmedia.network.