Bill Burr: Who Killed The Hat?
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That's 15% off at SaatchiArt.com. S-A-A-T-C-H-I-Art.com. Ever wish your favorite TV show had twice as many episodes? Everyone knows that feeling. And so does Discover. Everyone wants more of their favorites. That's why Discover doubles another favorite thing. Cash back.

That's right. Discover automatically doubles the cash back earned on your credit card at the end of your first year with Cash Back Match. Now that's a real crowd pleaser. Everyone knows how it ends. Double the cash back. See terms at discover.com slash credit card. Hello. What's up, Rob? How are you? Hey, man. How are you? I'm excellent. Just trying not to get all crossed up in the wires here. What did I say? Same.

Well, if you're interested in politics like I am and interested in current events, you're really going to love today's show because today we're a little bit of a change of pace. My producers have booked one of the most important and influential people in our nation today. We're really honored to have Attorney General Bill Barr today on the – I'm sorry, what? Oh, I'm sorry. Bill Burr. Bill Burr is on the podcast. The comedian.

Ooh, well, that's a very different show. I should be more prepared. Anyway, so Bill Burr's on the show. And by the way, I think it's gonna be more fun than having Bill Barr on the show. I'm very excited. He makes me laugh. He's a huge Boston sports fan. That's gonna be fun. And it turns out a cigar man like me. So, God, Jesus, it's gonna be so much easier than interviewing Bill Barr.

Jesus Christ, I'm so excited. Bill Burr, coming up. Mr. Podcast, Mr. Badass Comedian. Oh, I'm so glad I can just be more of myself with this man. This is gonna be great. Stay tuned. Well, huge fan. Oh, thanks, man. Same. Who were you doing in Austin Powers way back when? Was it Robert Goulet? It was Robert Wagner. Robert Wagner. Yes. Yeah, I'm about your age, so I watched all your movies.

Personally, the Youngblood was my favorite. I'm a big hockey guy. Yeah, you're a big Bruins guy. Yeah. And then you turn and you did the the not Robert Goulet, whoever you just said, Robert Wagner, who's like, oh, my God, he's funny, too. Oh, thank you.

R.J. is they call him R.J. I you know, were you a big did you watch Heart to Heart as a kid? His big show or I know I watched my parents watched that one. I watched I think I was watching Matt Houston at that time when that was on. He was like, yeah, you know, one of those mustache guys with a cool car solving crimes. Jesus Christ, he's got the frigging heat on. My God is killing me here.

I just got a Celtics t-shirt on here. I just don't want to start any shit. No, it's really, listen, I, well, I'm very excited to talk about that because, you know, I'm Lakers from way, way, way, way back. There was a time, and I'm sad to say it, there was a time when I would have been so angry about that and we would have beefed. And now I'm so dispassionate about it and I'm bummed.

I don't know what's happened, but I like, I can tell you what happened is they all just pile on teams now. That's where I mean, our last championship was a pile on team and I've always equated it to like when you were playing outdoor recess and you were choosing up teams, even as kids, if it got too imbalanced, you were like, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. You know, what, where would the satisfaction be if all the athletes beat up the math team? You know what I mean? So yeah,

But for some reason, it's just a different, it's, for industry, it's just kind of out of hand now. I'm not mad at these guys getting their money, but when they all hang out on a yacht and go, well, like, you know, the Jordan doc, where he couldn't get past the Pistons. So what did you do? He lifted weights. He got tougher mentally. All these guys, they're, you know, last dance documentary. So what did you do? Oh, I just joined the Pistons.

Yes. Then we beat my old team by a hundred and they didn't make the playoffs. And then I started prancing around with, with the championship trophy. It's a, it's a, I don't know. I'm not, I, you know, I have people just say I sound like a grumpy old man when I say this stuff. Same, same. My kids are, and I have friends like, they're like, get out, enjoy it. Enjoy this new era of Laker domination. I'm like, yeah,

Listen, I did not watch one minute of the Lakers play and they won a title this year. And I'm like, what is that about? I mean, honestly, I traveled with the Lakers. I had seasoned seats with them. I have great Boston Garden stories, which I'll get into in a minute. And how is it that I've been left behind? What is it? And it is that. It's like...

Now LeBron James is here. Well, of course he's here. This is his fifth team in five years. Okay. I mean, and he's great. I mean, I'm not going to start a beef with LeBron James, but I don't know, man. I don't know. I just don't get what the NBA is saying to fans of the New Orleans Pelicans.

That they're only allowed to have like an Anthony Davis in the beginning. Like, why isn't he playing with Zion? And then they should be the team. And it was one of those things where, okay, we're suffering as fans, but we got the first pick and so-and-so is coming out of college. And then you guys had your run and it kind of evens it off. They kind of...

I don't know, which is why I got a kick out of the second half of that Golden State Warriors. The first half, that was their team. But the second half when KD went there, I got a kick out of listening to Laker fans bitching, going like, what they're doing is what you guys have been doing since all the way back to Kobe. I mean, Kobe wasn't a Laker. He was a Charlotte Hornet. And then you added Shaq from Orlando. You got Phil Jackson from Chicago. And it's just, I mean...

But it is. But that's to me, that's different. Now you're firing up my old Laker shit. Now you're firing up my old Laker blood because I was still down to clown in those days. That's building a dynasty. That's building a franchise. That felt different to like getting Phil, getting Shaq, getting Kobe. I would disagree. That was the beginning of it. It was the beginning of it.

Okay, then is it, is the reason it feels different to me because it didn't, the origin of it isn't Kobe tweeting at someone from a yacht?

At a nightclub. There was no Twitter in the 90s. I know, but you know what I'm saying. Kobe's a mother. Dude, Kobe was a bad, bad motherfucker. He didn't give a shit. He was just a gnarly winner through and through. I'm not talking about anybody individually, but I'm just saying the beginning of that, let's all jump on the same team and then destroy everybody else.

You know, like Celtics are guilty of it. We got Kevin Garnett for nothing. And Kevin McHale, a former Celtic was in the front office. I mean, that whole thing seems. How did you guys get him? How did you get Kevin Garnett? I've never understood. We, we, the Bruins had an old Zamboni and we threw that in or something. I don't know what it was. It was something ridiculous, but it was like, that just seems scripted where they were just like, all right, we got to fire this back up again. Jordan's gone. The Spurs are slowing down.

We don't know what, you know, where we're at right now. And I don't know. I listen. I said forever. The NBA was fixed forever. I said it was fixed. Then they had a mobbed up ref and then everybody said I was crazy. And they go, oh, no, no, no. It's just one guy. I mean, I would go with one team of guys. Yes. How could one guy just fix a game and the other two guys don't know what he's doing? Do you believe that the old.

apocryphal story about the frozen envelope, the draft. Have you ever heard that one? What was that? Was that the Patrick Ewing one? Yes. Yes. The Patrick Ewing. Oh, absolutely. I do because it's a business and somehow the NBA though has, they're so good at their business. They've been able to survive without New York being a market, a strong, having a good team there. But I 100% believe that the,

I feel like, you know, right before Bird and Magic got there, the league was in a real bad way. They were going bankrupt. The ABA took a big chunk out of them. Cocaine was hitting. They had problems with addiction. All of a sudden, they just didn't have 11 white guys out on the team with short shorts. All of a sudden, you know, white people had to deal with the fact that everyone was going to go. There was a lot of stuff going on. And then Bird and Magic came and saved it. And then they rolled into...

Jordan, while the Pistons came in, and I think they just hit a streak like you were gambling. And then I think after that, they didn't want it to end. After Jordan, they didn't want it to end. And I just think that they've been feeding these stories. It just seems that way. It's just like there's almost like a rule where certain teams can only be bad for so long. I don't want to name the teams because I'll come off like I'm biased here, but there's almost like a rule that

But then there's the other thing, too, where some of these NBA guys have production companies. I view it this way. As a Celtics fan, trying to compete against the Lakers, it's a done deal now. The only thing they could possibly save us would be global warming. So we'll have the same climate as you guys. You guys have a great climate, the most beautiful women. It's like, what do you want? You want overt racism, winter,

And about hooking up with sixes and sevens? Or do you want to go to L.A., have overt racism, bang tens, and get your production company going? I just don't think we can compete. I know where I'm going to play. I don't think we can compete with that. That's why I enjoyed Golden State. I've enjoyed all of them. I didn't get mad at the Miami thing. And I'm not even mad at the Lakers. I'm just looking at it as a business opportunity.

um they've kind of sold their soul to the super team and i feel that uh that you know fans of like the hornets and in in the pelicans if they're going to suffer their reward should be getting these guys and being able to hang on to them so for for those of of the listeners that because they don't know about the frozen envelope because that's

It's my favorite story ever. So the, it's Patrick Ewing is coming out of Georgetown. He's going to be this dominant and was, he had a hall of fame career. He was great. Never won a ring, but that's another story. Um, and he's the next big thing. New York has been horrible forever. They are, they have, uh,

Right. They have the first pick in the draft. Isn't that what that's right? That's what. Yeah, they got they got the lottery pick. So that's what they say in a way to keep it like fair and more exciting. They created the lottery. So I guess teams wouldn't tank. And then it can be like an exciting team, an exciting event to watch. And the commissioner at the time, David Stern, is picking envelopes. The theory is he doesn't know what envelope they are.

And he opens it up and goes, oh, it's the New York is going to get the first pick or whatever. The theory was that they refrigerated the envelope that had New York in it. I got to tell you this. And so when he felt the cold one, he pulled that for New York. And what do you know? New York gets to choose Patrick Ewing as opposed to Patrick Ewing going to the Utah Jazz. Right. Isn't that sort of the backstory? I've heard that, but that's great business.

Yes. To do that because of where the Knicks were. And then we got all those great those great Knicks teams, which I loved, that went up against the Indiana Pacers. Yeah, there's so many great guys that had the misfortune of playing during the Jordan era that didn't get rings. So now people go, oh, Reggie Miller never got a ring. Reggie Miller is the most ice water player.

I saw until maybe some of these kids nowadays, but that guy just like the bigger the game, you just knew it was going in. It was always going to be a three. Yeah. I mean, this is my era that you're talking my era when I love this game and I don't, what do they say? The only thing worse than hate is ambivalence.

And I'm ambivalent about the NBA. I don't say it with any pride. I just don't know what happened. The game changed a lot. I mean, I can remember against your Celtics, right?

I was in the garden and we were down by 14 points in a final. I think it was 87. And Michael Cooper got a breakaway and pulled up from a three-pointer and shot it and made it. And no one could believe it because you do not do that. You go all the way down and you dunk it. You don't pull up uncontested. And that started a 14-point run and we won. And that was the Magic Johnson baby hook. That was the baby hook game. But now it's all...

Three is, we sound old. This is bad. We sound so old. This is terrible. Every young person listening is like, they're bad old men. No, no. If we're talking three pointers, but I think there is something to be said about the way the NFL runs it.

Like, look at this year now. Now that Brady went down to Tampa Bay, the Pats are dead. How great is it to see the Browns are good? Yeah. You know, how great is it to see this kid down in San Diego? Because not in San Diego, he's in L.A. now. I keep thinking it's the San Diego Chargers. Oh, yeah.

Justin Herbert. Yep. Just even though they're having a tough time winning and everything, just to see, you know, our Josh Allen in Buffalo, just to seeing all these guys and then seeing, you know, Russell Wilson and Patrick Mahomes ascend to where, you know, Brady and I guess Peyton Manning were for the longest time. It's, you know, like that league, like the NFL, like,

For as much as, you know, they got to look out for concussions, it's still, you have a shot. You got, your team has a shot. You can hold on to your guys. And I just feel like the NBA is like those superhero movies where they got like, you know,

19 superstars in it when they used to all do individual movies. It's a Marvel universe. Everything's a Marvel universe. Everything's Ocean's Eleven. Everything's a Marvel universe. What's going on? Tell me, what is your... Look, Bill Belichick is on Mount Rushmore, period. That said, what does this season tell you about him, if anything? And what does it tell you about Cam Newton, if anything? Well, first of all, I think there's only...

I think as far as the Mount Rush, it's Paul Brown and Bill Belichick. 100%. Paul Brown brought it into the original modern era. And then Bill Belichick took the 2.0 version to the stratosphere. Yep. Well, you got to throw Bill Walsh in there too, but yeah.

Yeah. Okay. Whatever. I'm always biased as a Patriots fan. All right. What do I think? People are going to be angry about Vince Lombardi and George Halas. They're going to be edgy about that, but I'm with you. I would say Paul Brown had it all over both of those guys, just as far as being innovated. The other two guys were obviously incredible, but like Paul, like there's a difference between being great and changing the game. That makes sense. Yes. That makes sense. Good point. I already forgot. What was the thing about the Patriots?

We kind of had the same problem we had last year with Brady on offenses. We were just, you know, before Edelman got hurt, we were just looking for somebody to step up as a viable number two option. And it kind of just never happened. We drafted this kid, Harry. He keeps getting hurt.

Um, bird has had his moments, but now all of a sudden this other kid, this blonde kid, something, something, Oh, something ski. I don't know what the heck is. Yeah. Oh, Shanska Mons could he, he was like, whatever. Yeah. Old school. It was like all of a sudden it's like Lekwalensa. Yeah. He comes out of nowhere. He's returned at punts and kickoffs and like, so, um,

Yeah, the genius of, I think, Belichick is just the reason why we have this old school, almost looks like three yards in a cloud of dust offense is because that's what he's working with. And so many people look at Belichick as a coach and they begin it when he took over for the Patriots and they forget that he shut down Elway and the Broncos as the defensive coordinators for the Giants in 86 and in 90 he shut down, what was it, the running gun with Buffalo. So that guy has like seven rings.

It's unbelievable. People still, I know when, I remember when Tampa had a winning record and we didn't in October, they're like, the debate has been solved. It's like, oh, so now he stinks. They're both great. They're both great. I've always wanted to be able to, I'm as much of a fan as I'm a Bill Belichick as a coach and what he does in a football field. I'm more of a fan about what he does in his interviews. I want, I've always wanted to be able to,

to do bill belichick like it's some stupid award show press line i've got to do do you know what i mean and like awards are silly and award shows are silly and i look out you know whatever but i would love to be like on the red carpet and they're like tell me what you're wearing today clothes yeah silence so so um so you're you're nominated for uh you know whatever how do you feel about that you know might win might not win you know we're just gonna see what happens

I mean, it's a lot of talent out there. They're very good actors. They're very good actors. I mean, how great would it be? I want to do that. That's a pretty good Belichick. Well, I mean, people don't understand like that. He's not going to give anybody any bulletin board material. So the second he wins, he's already thinking of next week's game. And I feel like the press has been so hard on him because he makes some work.

They love the, you know, they love the players coach guy, the Rex Ryan, who's just going to give them a quote, make their day like the article writes itself. And Belichick, I don't think he's trying to piss them off. It's just like, listen, I know what you guys do. You take the littlest thing and you blow it up and you turn it into this motivational tool for this team I'm trying to beat next week. Yep. This league is too competitive. I don't need that shit. So

You know, if you guys weren't such dicks, I would give you more colorful answers. So they have no one to blame but themselves, but sports writers are not good at doing that. What do you think about Cam Newton? I like him. I think he's been hurt.

I do get nervous whenever he takes off and runs, but all I've been hearing is the players love him. He's the first guy there, last to leave, and all of that type of stuff. So, I mean, if you're going to go from Brady to Cam Newton, I can handle that fall. Although, you know, the other kid there that we were looking at too, I mean, who knows what he can do. I, you know, it's the first season. He's learning the system, and, you know, some of these –

We could just get him a couple of guys that, you know, you could, you know, Edelman gets healthy. He's got somebody to throw to kind of opens up what we're going to do. Yeah, this is great. I've lost all my listeners now talking about sports for as long as we have. And I could go on and on. What else do you want to tell you guys? What do you want to let's talk the election and we can lose the last field. Let's do that. Hold the thought. We'll be right back.

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Qualifying plan required. Wi-Fi were available on select U.S. airlines. Deposit and Hilton Honors membership required for 15% discount terms and conditions apply. Are you still in Boston? Is that where you are based? I live in Los Angeles. Oh, good. You see you were done. You're like, I've had enough of cold winters. No, it's just where the business was. I mean, if the business was in Massachusetts, I never would have left. I loved it back there. So, but, you know, I picked this business. I'm out here and I'm sticking it out. I love that people are leaving.

You know, right. Oh, great. Yeah. You know, make it easier for me to get where I'm going. L.A. is amazing. You know, I talked to somebody the other day. I don't know where the hell I was. And he was going wherever the hell state I was in. He goes, this is America. I'm like, yeah, I realize that where I live is also America. Like, what do you do?

Because these people agree with your lifestyle more so than your idea that this is the country. And are you eliminating states now? If states don't agree with you, this is not America. It's just weird to me. It's like it's all America.

People are like truly though, leaving California. Like you cannot believe. I mean, Rogan left Elon Musk left. It's crazy. They have something that they're talking about where you have to pay some sort of capital gains tax. If you leave, like they're starting, they're thinking about holding this hostage here. You got to listen. They've, they've the California state franchise tax board has opened offices for

In Florida and Texas, literally, they're in other states going, oh, I remember you. You used to live in California, don't you? I just want to look at those records and make sure you actually have a phone bill in this state. No, it's why can't you just be? Well, why don't you're not in your own state? You don't have any jurisdiction. I know. Get out of here. I think you just get a lawyer and you just you make it more of a headache than the next guy.

That's right. And they move on. Yeah. My books are balanced. Maybe if you did that with your state, you wouldn't have to chase me to Orlando. Please get the fuck off my property. Yeah. Don't hold your breath. Tell me something about this. How do you like having your wife on the podcast? Because I have a wife. She's right upstairs.

I don't know. In the kitchen where she belongs. It's right. Kidding. Barefoot and pregnant. We're killing this. We're killing the game. Women are loving this particular episode more than any episode I've ever done. I love having my wife on the podcast. I love having her on. She's funny as hell. And then also, she always trashes me. And my listeners really enjoy that.

because they like trashing me. I enjoy getting trashed. And my wife is as funny, if not funnier than most comedians I know. She's truly, truly a funny person and has just amazing energy and stuff. So having kids the last few years made it harder for her to be on the podcast, but I'm

currently trying to set up a little more of a studio in my office. I've kind of been doing it, you know, garage band kind of way. Just me. Yeah. Essentially. But it's killing and she's really fun. Nia. And she's, she, she's a natural kind of. Yeah. She, yeah, she is. She grew up, her dad managed comics. So she grew up around comedians. One of the coolest things about her is if I ever have,

A bunch of guys over to watch a game. Like, she can hang like nobody. She just... Really? Oh, yeah. Breaks balls, trashes people, gets huge laughs. It's, like, ridiculous. It's... Is she one of those people who's like, yeah, I think it's going to be a holding call? No, she doesn't do that. She'd come in and make fun of us for cheering it on. Okay. She does stuff like that. We'll just come walking, let's all wear the same colored shirt and just...

Kind of calls us off the morals that we are. Yeah, morons. We are. Yeah, but if we're hanging out on the back porch having a couple beers and a cigar, she'll come and join and just, you know, wants to be social. What's your cigar of choice? That's another thing we have in common. I lube my cigars. Oh, you do. You know, I got so sick of trying to figure out if a Cuban cigar was real or not.

That I just said to hell with it. So I just, depends on what I want to do. Like for like afternoon smoke, right? Nice afternoon smoke. I got a little hour window here. I love those, the Nubs, the Connecticut rap one or the La Aurora Sapphire, the one in the blue tube. Insane.

Insane, underrated cigar. Do you ever, I'm doing this thing now where I'm fasting every other day sometimes. Is that why you haven't aged since 1986? I mean, you look so ridiculously good. And I got this light. My wife goes, turn this light on. It's going to make you look better. It's like, it really doesn't.

I don't think it does. Let me see if I can clear this up. That's nonsense. You look absolutely as you should look, which is perfect. Believe me. You got nothing to worry about. You got a political career in your future, my friend. The way you danced around that. Thank you. You look absolutely how you should look. That's it. I like it. It's good. So I've been doing this fasting and-

I'm finding that it interferes with my afternoon cigar because cigars on empty stomachs can be kind of a thing. Yeah. Right? Don't you think? Well, I don't fast, but judging by the way you look and how you danced around complimenting my looks, I think I should start doing it. How long do you fast for? I'll go dinner to dinner. Dinner to dinner. When I used to do it, I would go

Five o'clock to five o'clock was easier. So you kind of had an early dinner and then that's sort of what it, that's sort of what I'm talking. That's sort of what it is. Um, but it has unintended consequences, which is my, all I want to do is eat sugar. Like you can't imagine. Oh, after. Yeah, for sure. I mean,

You know, I'll sneak in like an Atkins bar, you know, to not do my sugar thing. And that's really, really helpful. But when it interferes with my cigar stuff, then I draw the line. Come on. So what's – I didn't know you were a cigar guy. What's your cigar choice? The Edmundo. It's the – well, I like the Hoyo de Monterrey.

I'm totally a Cuban snob still. I am. I'm still. Yeah, but you got the hookup then. I do have the hookup. I'll tell you the last time I smoked one, two of them that I knew that they were real. I was doing a gig in Tel Aviv.

There was a there was like a 7-Eleven little convenience store. And I went in there. I had like M&M's and a root beer because I eat like a seventh grader when I'm on the road. Right. It's so great. And I can only have the ones with peanuts. The plain ones are just too much sugar. I'll pass out. But the plain, the peanut one. So I went out there and they're like, we got cigars. I'm like, you got cigars here?

They go, yeah. So they come out. And you remember the old diners where they would have like the little twist thing to take the straws out? Totally. So they had like a clear plastic thing. They look like that, but there was cigars in it. And I'm looking at it like, all right, I'll take the Cohiba Robusto. They're like, oh, yes, let me get two of those. And me and Joe Bartnick were working together and we went out.

We were working in Jaffa, right outside of Tel Aviv. I've been there. Right on the Mediterranean Sea at night. And just were puffing on these things. And it was like, this is how I know a Cuban cigar is real. Right as I start to light it, I always go, oh, my God. That's what I did. And then the next day I came back and I got the Particus Series 2, which is also their reboot. And we just sat there during the day.

Looking at all the, it was amazing. Just watching, solving the Middle Eastern problem, watching beautiful Israeli and Palestinian women going by. And as we're looking out at the Mediterranean Sea, being like, what is the problem? It's unbelievable. By the way, this is God's country. I want to talk to you about doing your last special at Royal Albert Hall.

Only if you tell me about your moisturizing system that you use to stay looking 31 for the rest of your life. All right. I just want to stipulate to everybody out there, this was not planned, that he asked me this question. He is my guest, and he asked. So I'm now going to tell you that I have my own skincare line, and it is called Profile. And you can go get it online. And I developed it eight years ago.

And that is, if you ask me, what do I use? That's what I use. Do you do the old school thing where you stick your face in a sink full of ice? Oh, like, like a raging bull. Well, that was his, I think his wiener he put in the ice and raging bull. No, I remember Paul Newman could do that. Paul Newman, that was part of his thing. Every morning he would, he would,

He'd freeze his face in the ice, water in the ice. He would do that, and then he would do some insane amount of sit-ups because he actually had a washboard middle back when being in shape back in the day just meant you weren't fat. That's all it meant. Yeah. You look at Steve McQueen, he's like, eh. Today, to be Steve McQueen, you'd have to be so shredded. Yeah. Yeah.

Marvel's ruined everything. It's ruined it all for actors. It's not good enough just to be in shape. You've got to look like, you know, Chris Pratt in Guardians of the Galaxy or something. And I know Pratt. I know what he goes through to do. He's been on the show. It is not easy. I remember Hugh Jackman talking about the amount of protein he had to eat.

to get jacked like Wolverine. He said his jaw would be sore from chewing. He'd eat like fucking like something ridiculous, like two whole chickens every day, just sitting there trying to put all this extra muscle on his frame. So profile, I'm going to get some of that stuff. You got a face scrub and all of that.

Oh, I do. Yeah. And you can also get a target. All you guys. Listen, I'm doing a free ad here, but you asked and it is. But it is part of because guys don't take care of themselves. And I'm one of them. I don't I don't want to put a bunch of bullshit on my face. And, you know, I just don't. I want to. I'm a big, dumb dude. And but I've been in a business where. Thank you.

Thank you. I look like a dumb dude. I look like I, you know, when they grab the guy from the upper deck, Hey, you got better seats and they bring it down. I look like that guy. You look like the guy sitting courtside with the chick with the red bottom shoes, looking at her phone the whole game. I've been there. I've been there. I've been there. It was before red bottom shoes and phones, but the, you know, we,

There's no free lunch. Like you've got, there are certain things you got to do to take care of yourself that the only reason I do it and know about it is because I grew up in a business where people were doing it for me. Right. Since I was 15, I roll into makeup, they sit down, they do their thing to me and I walk out. And over the years, I'm like, oh, so moisturizing is a thing. Oh, so sunscreen, no,

is a thing. I don't think I would have done any of that stuff had I not learned about it from people who knew better. And most guys don't know about it. And I like to be able to teach them, you know, and I did the same with my young sons. I'm like, if you want to hang on to it, there are certain things

Things you gotta do. You can't just not do stuff and then wake up one day at 45 and wonder why you look the way you look. There's certain things you gotta do. Booze is a big thing too. You stay away from booze.

I'm, I'm so that's nothing. I'm sober 30 years. So that's really, that's another thing. I quit drinking two years ago. No way. Congrats. I mean, if you needed to do it, congrats. How, how is your, how has it affected your life? Way, way, way easier to stay in shape. Way, way less, way, way less apologizing. Way, way less waking up going, ah,

Oh, God, why did I say that? Just none of that. All of that has gone away. I sleep better. I still miss it. I'm not going to lie to you. I miss. But my problem was I wasn't like I didn't have like that AA thing, but I was I think addiction is a spectrum. I was somewhere where it just had gotten to the point where it was out of control. Yeah. So I had to shut it down. And then but then every time I would try to come back, it would eventually get out of control again. How old are you? Fifty two.

That's amazing. Most people at 52 are doubling down. Really? Yeah. I find that, look, we get in our 50s and that is it's like there's certain stuff you got to start looking at. It's like, can I really eat this much ice cream? Can I really drink this much? It's like, that's the time. Yeah. I tell my listeners, the young ones, try to save up some fun days. Don't use them all up.

Like I did, you know? Don't be like I was. Don't be like I was, shitting on new sports leagues. Tell me about Royal Albert Hall. First of all, I'm so jealous that you played Royal Albert Hall. I played the National Theatre Darling in London, but not Royal Albert Hall. That sounds impressive. What were you doing, a play over there? I was doing a one-man show.

Which is basically, it's my version of being doing standup without calling it standup. Cause nobody would come. If I called it standup, they'd like, he's not fucking funny. He's not a comedian. Why do I need to go to that? So, but that said, that's what it is. Um, but I'm so tell me about Royal Albert Hall, man. So that's the Beatles. That's that's history. What was it like for you? Is it in the round or is that my imagination? It's not, no, it's a round build structure. And then the, the, um,

the stage is on one side and then you're kind of looking out, but you know, I learned of Royal Albert hall through watching Led Zeppelin 20 years ago when they released their performance there. And, um, I then went, when I went to London, I just went to take a tour of it just to go into a venue where my, one of my favorite drummers of all time, John Bonham played. And I went in there with my wife, my girlfriend at the time,

And they gave us a tour. My wife didn't want to go and she thought it was, oh, God, it's going to be boring and blah, blah, blah, which it was in the beginning. But then when we went into the theater, it just so happened that the London Philharmonic was there and they were rehearsing and they played this song in there. And it was just like it was the most beautiful thing I had ever heard. And I was thinking, like, why didn't I have a ring? This would have been perfect. Yeah.

That would have been perfect. But it was so it was so amazing that the guy was trying to get us to leave. And like people were like defiant, like we're not leaving until this song is done. And he just had to understand it. And then I don't know. It's just and then a few years later, I was I was selling tickets in my car.

You know, I said someday I wanted to play there. My agent said, hey, you want to give it a shot? I was like, dude, I don't think I can sell that place. He goes, you could sell it. You know, last time you did a smaller place, but you did this many shows. So we did a warm up show there in June just to do it. And then in March, I came back the next year in 2019 to do the special. But the warm up show, I don't think I ever...

could get out of my head that I was there. Right. Because it looked the same as like when Zeppelin played it. And I just kept thinking like, bottoms drums were right there. I'm standing where Robert Plant was. I couldn't get out of my head that I was there and not feeling worthy to be there. So there's this thing where you got to kind of like, you know,

Wow. You almost have to knock something down just so you can feel like you can do it. So there was a little bit. I'm glad I got that one run through there before taping the special, but I still can't believe I got to be there. That's so, oh man, that's amazing. My friend Aziz and Zari, I think they did like Carnegie. And those are iconic buildings. So much history. That's their Carnegie. And there was something about

I think it was because it was in another country. Yeah. It was amazing enough to play Carnegie, but, you know, to go to somebody else's country and play their crown jewel is this extra level of like, um,

I can't believe that I'm getting to do this. I mean, Carnegie Hall was another one. Wow. Just coming out going like, it's so funny. It's so beautiful. And then you come out with a bunch of shit jokes. You just like, this doesn't make any sense. I am balancing out the room right now. If you saw the plans that I had this year, the places I was going to play and some of the sporting events, because I built it around, you know, I'm into racing too. I was going to go to a MotoGP race. I was going to go to the TT race on the Isle of Man.

musician buddy of mine. I was going to open for him. He was going to do an acoustic set. I was going to do stand up and then we were going to watch these lunatics drive 200 miles an hour down cow paths on motorcycles. Yeah. Fun. Yeah. That's so fun. Yeah. If you're going to go out there, you might as well. Jacksonville, you got to go out to a gun range and shoot a gun with a silencer. You just got to do what they do.

You've got to be the opposite of like a New Yorker where they're so spoiled. New Yorkers, they're terrible when they travel. Everywhere they go, they're like, you can't get a fucking slice of pizza at Fort Morden. It's like we're in Kentucky. Why don't we get some bourbon or whatever the hell it is? Why don't we find out what they do for fun out here and do that instead of trying to do what you do on your own block so then there's a purpose for traveling. Well said. I'm kind of trashing. I have three friends of mine.

uh, who I love to death who are New Yorkers and they all dress like it's the first day of school in ninth grade. They still think like getting a brand new pair of Jordans with like a hoodie, a Nike hoodie, but the Nike hoodie and some crisp new jeans are like, dude, over, over. And it's just like, it's like you guys literally, you guys are dressing like you just got your driver's license and they're in their forties.

What is that? What is what what is that? What would you call that thing that I know exactly what you mean? It's so funny that you're saying it's an arrested development combined with one of the things that ruined class in this country dressed down Fridays.

Remember in the 80s, they started having dress down Fridays and you dressed like it was the weekend. And then it just became the whole week where you can now basically wear whatever you want. It used to be when you went to work, you dressed up. There was customer service. The customer is always right. All of that stuff got eliminated. They did fix a lot of other things, you know, gave some other people didn't look like you and me, a few more at bats. Yep. That's all good. Yeah, all good. But the...

The dressing, there's something about that I think is what happened. It's funny because you look at pictures of movie sets and where people, maybe the worst dressed folks in the world are my peeps on movie sets. A lot of cargo pants, a lot of Tommy Bahama shirts with the cargo pants in February. It's like the apocalypse meets Dressed Down Friday. Right.

It's not good. But you look at photos from the 40s. People are in ties, suits and ties on a movie set. It's unbelievable. Yeah. Hats. You know who killed the hat? Who? I blame you as a Bostonian. You know who killed the hat? JFK. He killed the hat? If you look at the picture of his, you look at his inaugural photos, guys are in top hats, if you can believe it, still. And there's JFK with no top coat.

And he's got that amazing hair. And he was, dude, he was a baller. He was like, I got fucking great hair. What am I wearing a hat for? And. I would have opted for the hat. And he, and that killed the hat. It's like, um, Cary Grant killed the undershirt. Yeah. In a, in a, in a movie where he took, he took his shirt off and he didn't have a t-shirt on. And men all across America goes, what the fuck?

wearing a t-shirt under this fork it's good enough for carrie grant's good enough for me i think their dates went crazy when they started so they were trying to oh is that all i gotta do was not wear a t-shirt yeah they're not really realizing that carrie grant being carrie grant might have something to do with it or jfk but he did he killed the hat i don't know i gotta look that one up i don't like that you're coming after a fellow bostonian here oh listen i'm a big jfk i i'm a big jfk fan i'm like you have there's so much no eye contact when you said that

Well, because I'm looking at my notes about you. I just am looking at my notes. I'm just being a pro. Just trying to make this a good interview. And we'll be right back after this.

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Qualifying plan required. Wi-Fi were available on select U.S. airlines. Deposit and Hilton honors membership required for 15% discount terms and conditions apply. Okay, dude. Migs Mayfield?

Who is that? Isn't that who you play in The Mandalorian? Oh, Mayfeld. Mayfeld. I just read it wrong. Yeah. Migs Mayfeld. Migs is like the fighter pilot Migs, right? Wasn't Migs in the original Star Wars? He is. He's Luke Skywalker's. For sure. I know I'm right about this. Dude, I'll be honest with you. I saw all of those like once. I was a sports guy and my parents, we didn't really go to the movies. So I saw Empire first.

What? And then right before Empire. Yeah, I remember the summer coming back from summer vacation and Star Wars had come out and like I had never even heard of it. And I know kids don't understand that, but it was like there was three channels. Our UHF antenna was busted. We had a rented house, so we didn't get cartoons or any of that shit. So I don't know where it was advertised, but we just missed it. So I

Knew what kids were talking about in June. And then the summer. My favorite is, I don't know where Star Wars was advertised. So I missed Star Wars. It wasn't that big. What? It became a phenomenon. It became this phenomenon over the summer. It was a blockbuster. And we were just, we lived on a busy street.

We were what do they call it? It was a closed circle cul-de-sac. No, no. It was a busy. I'm saying like me and my family, my my siblings, like there wasn't any friends coming over. I got you. So we heard nothing of it. So I went came back to school in September and everybody was talking about all this Star Wars shit. I had no idea what they were talking about. And then I saw Empire, which I like that one. Then we saw Star Wars and then I saw the last one.

And by the time the last one came out, I was like 15 or 16 or something. So, you know, I was, I was like, you know, I'd already seen Scarface. So, I mean, I wasn't really right. You know, into Ewoks. I did like the sleds when they went through the trees and stuff, but like, I was just more of a sports guy. So then I, when they came back, the next three came back, the Jar Jar Binks one. Oh, they're off. They're awful. They're awful. I saw that one and I was just like, okay, I'm too old for this.

And I haven't seen one since. Turns out five-year-olds were too old for those. Oh. Turns out. No, I saw it. I did see one on a plane. The Han Solo one, I think. Yeah, but Mandalorian's great. Yes, it is. Mandalorian's awesome. No, if they did the whole series the way this thing looks like a spaghetti Western in space, I would have been all over it because, you know, I like Blade Runner. Here's what's amazing, what you just said. So I was...

12, my aunt and uncle were what they used to call rotoscope artists. Rotoscoping was the original special effects by hand. They would have to paint, hand paint individual frames of, of, of movies to do things. And they told me, I said, what are you working on? Cause I wanted to be in the movies. I was 12 years old. And he goes, we're doing this like really dumb thing.

It's basically like a spaghetti Western in space. It's called Star Wars. And we're drawing in the laser beams. So literally the people who first worked on the original Star Wars thought it was a spaghetti Western in space. And that's what you're picking up on on Mandalorian. Clearly Favreau knew that. And that's why he's so great as a director. Yeah. And they're like such huge, ridiculous fans of it.

So I think it works for me not knowing a lot about it. So then the weight of it, which I didn't understand until the first season came out. And then like this whole new group of people were coming up to me, super polite Star Wars fans, at least when they meet you. I don't know how they are on the internet. I haven't read anything, but like they come up very polite and like ridiculously passionate about it's like sports passion, passion.

For a show. So for sure, I've got it's been real cool that they came, you know, it's funny, I get shit, though. They go, I never heard of Boston accent in a galaxy far, far away. And I always go like, well, how about English? You don't think it's weird that they're all speaking English? What was what was the question?

The whole thing's ridiculous. There's a Sasquatch. Yeah. What I love is Han Solo still speaks in English to him and they both understand each other, but he doesn't grunt like him and he doesn't speak in English to him, but it works. You can't start using that kind of logic in Star Wars or the whole thing falls apart pretty quickly. Exactly. Then they should leave my Boston accent alone.

I love me a good Boston accent. I think it's great. I have a very soft one, believe it or not. If you go there, if you find an old school person, it's like...

It's an amazing thing to hear. I shot a movie in Boston. I did a movie. This thing was Ricky Gervais a long time ago. We were in Boston for quite a while. And it is, it's almost like some, it's like a caricature sometimes. Yeah. It's like anywhere, you know, it's like anything like Malibu surfer guys or caricatures like, yo dude, like they really do talk, speak that way. They really do. Yeah. And it's always fun to go to places in the country where,

Like you were saying about traveling and doing what people do in the place you travel to, which is smart, is like listening to people who really have the vernacular of where they live is fascinating. Yeah. Do you like to imitate? Do you like to imitate people? Do you have an ear for imitations at all? I can't do it the way you do it. I'm more like they have to be. No, come on. And I was talking about that before we got on. Your impression is.

When in Austin Powers, I said it was Robert Goulet, but Robert Wagner. Yeah. Yeah. That was like, it was amazing. I was just, cause it was subtle. Cause he's not like, that guy's not an easy guy to do. Yeah. Yeah. I don't like doing, I don't like doing obvious people. I like, I don't like, I appreciate people who can do, who do, you know, Carson and Christopher Walken and whatever the big ones. But I love, and I love other people who do the nuanced things that you do.

Like I did Stone Phillips when I was on Saturday Night Live or Arsenio Hall. And those were people that hadn't ever really been imitated. And that's the kind of stuff I love. And I love it when other people do that. Yeah, Jay Moore is like that, where he can do like Colin Quinn, Harvey Keitel. Amazing. I think he's the best I've ever heard, where it's just like,

And he said that he either can, he doesn't work on him. He either can do it in the beginning or he can't get him. Like really? That's interesting. Yeah. Like, and I remember Jim Norton was saying like, he not only does the impression, he does the way they think. Cause there are those people that they can do the impression, but they only do what they say in movies. Right. But Jay could like, you could be like, all right, do, do we do a, you know, Harvey Keitel hanging drywall.

with the person who hired him staring at him, annoying him. And he'll just start doing, like a buddy of mine worked with him and they were playing some old theater. And he said to me, hey, can you please go out there and just do Harvey Keitel up front? And he goes, these people aren't going to get it. He goes, can you please do it? I'm not going to do it. And then he came out and he did it. And he just started trashing how old the theater was. I wish I could do even a bad Harvey Keitel. That's genius. Choppy dialogue.

talking about how the theater was crumbling around us and nobody knew what he was talking about. And my buddy Joe was, he just did it for him for like eight seconds, had him dying laughing and then, you know, did his act and destroyed. Yeah. I love, I love people that can do this stuff. I had, I Dana Carvey is an old friend and has been on the show too. And he obviously great impressionist. He left me a message on my phone as, as Biden, as Joe Biden. And it was so funny.

Funny. And what makes me laugh are like the grace notes of it. Like, and in it, the thing that made me laugh is he, he had Biden confusing, um, Bob Woodward with Joanne Woodward. Yeah.

which made me laugh, which made me laugh. But that's the, it's like, it's not enough to just do the impersonation. It's having that, like that thing of like, Oh my God, that makes perfect sense. The way they think. Yeah. Dana's one of the best standups I've ever seen. And he like the depth of everything that he's doing. He put, he had such a killer album. He put out a couple of years ago that I, I, I completely wore out, but I've been a, me and my whole family were fans of his. He had a special, uh,

Oh man, this is go back in the eighties. And I was a big thrill for me. I remember when I, I got to open for him and he was such a cool guy and gave me all this great advice. Yeah. I miss him. I haven't seen him in a minute. He's he's, he's just the best. He's, uh,

He is a total killer. Who else are you? You're a big Kinnison guy, right? Did you know Sam at all? No, he was gone right before. If he died in 91, I started in like March of 92. And I want to say he died shortly thereafter or right before. Yeah. Kinnison. There's this thing, Kinnison, Pryor and George Carlin. Those are all the tricks you need. That's sort of the whole, every club in the bag, as they say. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, Pryor and Carlin were just masters. There's stuff to learn from all of them. And then Kennison was sort of this new era thing where I just, I loved his dynamics when he, when he, when he,

got control of how how loud he could yell how much he could bring it down to this sinister level and just drag and i just watched a bit the other night you're married huh you're gonna get married oh yeah i used to be married and then he just sort of brings it down you know what just just remember this face he just gets it all the way down and then he just said oh and just would blow people away he was great wasn't he yeah yeah when he was there was a period there before like

The whole fame thing and the addiction thing was swallowing him up before walking on the stage with chicks on leashes. It got a little sideways there. But early on, when it was just him and the microphone, I don't think there's very few people that... He was just in his own lane. Totally in his own lane. Yeah. I was lucky enough to...

see him at the comedy store at like a midnight drop in set. And it was electric. It was absolutely, he did a bit where I don't remember what it was and everybody's kind of copied it where he took a guy's phone and called the girlfriend in the middle of the show. It was like insane. And yeah, yeah. They, they still down the comedy store when it was open and everything like his name comes up and there's still enough guys that knew him and everything. And just the stories, the,

There's no Sam Kinison story where you're just like, oh yeah, that's interesting. Every one of them is just like, what? Every throwaway stories about that guy are unbelievable. I played in a celebrity softball game in Canada and Sam was going to be the umpire and was. And he, on the way to the airport, picked up two identical twins that he saw on the side of the road.

They got in the limo, came to Canada, and they never left his side. And one of them was the one who was with him the day he died. They were together. But I just love the notion that he's on his way to do some press thing in Canada, sees two people he finds interesting, gets them in the car, and that's the end. Yeah, it was...

Yeah. I don't know. It's, it's, I wish that guy, cause he cleaned up and everything. And I felt like he was going to go back to 1985, 84, 85, 86, Sam Kinison. You know, I felt like he was heading back. There was, there was a time right there with like Stevie Ray Vaughan died the year before. And then Sam Kinison, there was all these guys who were just getting sober and we're putting out their best stuff for just getting ready to do it. And then they were just gone. It's weird how it happens like that, but.

That's right. I think Stevie, you're right. Stevie Ray Vaughan, I think had got, yeah, I'd forgotten that he'd gotten sober. Yeah. August the nineties when he died and he, by, he did In Step in 89. I saw him on that tour and they, he was sober then on that one. And I think everything up until him, he did that live album in 87. And then there was a year off. I think that 88, he was getting sober in 89 and

He put out that album. It was just at the top of his game. By the way, for your fans listening who don't know, look up Stevie Ray Vaughan, Tightrope, Austin City Limits. It's just... It's insane. I mean, that's a level of performing that I aspire to for half a second ever in my career. And he just would do that night after night. And the fact that he just did that on TV and just... It's unreal. Unbelievable. So, so insane. As amazing...

as your facial creams. Profile, everybody. Available at Target. And you didn't... I didn't even make you do it. You just brought it up. It's called being a team player, Rob. Dude, your career... You're on Breaking Bad. You're in a fucking Star Wars shit. I'm like a schmuck. I need to get my act together. What are you talking about?

I mean, you're breaking – you're breaking – Kubi, Breaking Bad, dude. You're in one of the greatest shows of all time. That's right. I have paratrooped into –

Half an episode of some of the best shows ever. Mandalorian. Oh, half an episode. Listen, it's like Ty Cobb said, it ain't bragging if you've done it. You're in it. You're in Breaking Bad. I'm not. You are. I love the 80 Strikes Back. Had a little bit in that. Oh, yeah. What would you do for a Klondike bar? Huh?

probably go buy one they're not that expensive i put lawn dyke that's one i hadn't bought of in a long time could you have more fun with the topic is what they would say but the topic yeah it was like well how about you bring me in when you didn't already do the decade and i gotta i gotta come in here with all this shit that didn't make the first one um that's really still upset about that that's really funny

That's because they it's funny because they somebody wants me to do some 80s retrospective. I'm thinking about doing it, but now I'm learning from you to get involved early to make sure it's not talking about the Klondike bar. Take it. Take control of the content, baby. That's right. You want to control the narrative. It's all about that now. It really is. Well, this is fun, man. When are we Lakers Celtics? Now we're going to reunite on that. Maybe. Oh, I know it'll be. How about Red Sox Dodgers?

Okay. Redo. Let's do that. Congratulations, by the way. Thank you. It was so fun. And you know, here's the thing I'll say about this Dodgers championship this year. It's not an asterisk year. I think in many ways it was harder to win for a team built for 162 games than for a team who could have like, I thought this was the year I thought a team could go on a streak like the Nationals did and go all the way.

So I love that the Dodgers were able to do it. It would only be an asterisk if you guys had an advantage. Everybody was playing during COVID. Yep. They all count. They all count. They all count. Like I'm counting all of these, the Stanley Cup, the Super Bowl, all of this stuff counts in my world because it's not like people aren't, you know, they didn't take half the teams and throw them out. So I hate that shit when somebody wins one, you don't give it up to them. I've actually finally figured out

This has been such a liberating thing that I never really hated the teams or the players. I hated the fans. Interesting. Well, cause they look, it's not like, you know, when the South, the Lakers beat the Celtics magic came walking into my bedroom, you know, giving me all this shit's the fans. That's what I don't like. They're the ones. Why am I getting mad at him? He did what he's supposed to do. And then it allows you,

to enjoy something because um you can spend your whole time hating one of the greats of all time and then they're gone like um yeah as much as i hated the super teams and all that every chance i got to go see kobe and shack i would i'm gonna go see it to look at it because um i think eventually i hope though they're gonna fix that model where it'd be good to see milwaukee win one new orleans or something like that i don't think it has to be these uh

The way it was. I don't want to get back into that. And we'll go down the rabbit hole for another thing. I mean, talking to what we did before. The one thing I'll leave you with was I, the person I hated most in sports ever in my life ever. And there wasn't a close second was Danny Ainge.

I understand that. Right? I'm not crazy. He had a face and a Celtic uniform. I get it. So, and then I'm doing that movie in Boston and I get tickets to come see Celtics play. And who am I sitting next to on the baseline? GM, Danny Ainge. He's doing a hell of a job too. And of course, he's genius. Hilarious, great actor.

And it's that thing of like, people say you should never meet your heroes. I'll tell you, you should really never meet is never meet your villains because then you can't hate them anymore. Yeah, that's happened a bunch. And he was, he's just the greatest. You know what I love out here in LA? I love the local sports. I love watching the Rams wrap up game where they have Vince Ferragamo, who I remember from back in the day where him and Pat Hayden, that quarterback controversy. But Michael Cooper also does, when he does post-

Lakers, dude, the level that he still hates the Celtics. I just sit there watching it laughing. Like when we like sucked basically post Len Bias dying, he's still, anytime he got on, if, if the Celtics thing came up, he would just the legit hatred of,

And I love watching it because that is gone from sports. It's gone. It's gone. Yeah, they're all hugging before it. Oh, I miss it. You know, I sat with Lasorda a bunch.

You know, Tommy's very ill now. He's hanging on and hopefully he'll live for another hundred years. But to sit with Tommy and listen to him. I'd say, Tommy, in the old days, wouldn't you ask this guy to throw at this guy's head, right? He goes, oh, absolutely. He goes, if they didn't fight, I'd make them fight. I mean, and now it's just too much money. And, you know, everybody's hitting everybody up for where they're going to go. The club afterwards. I liked it when it was a blood sport.

Yeah, the NBA, if you watch those old NBA, the stuff that is not a foul back then, it's incredible. But, you know, the game evolves. We've learned that, you know, there's CTE and all of that. But this is part of getting old.

So, you know, I know you got to talk to guys your age and we'll be like, yeah, man, I agree with you. Hey, when this pandemic's over, we got to hang and smoke a cigar. Let's smoke. Yeah, for sure. I'll look you up. And we'll if you'll come up to Santa Barbara, I'll come down when this is done, because I love building my my cigar posse and my sports posse. I mean, this is great.

Hey, I'm all about it. And then you got somebody to laugh at if your team beats one of the Boston teams. Oh, yeah. Well, it's on. It's Dodgers. First of all, OK, I'm sorry. I got to ask you this and then we'll be done. I promise you. And we've turned this into a sports podcast, but it is what it is. That's why I do this, because I don't have a producer going, ask him about the time. I hate that stuff. Hell, thank you for Mookie Betts.

Thank you. Isn't he great? Well, he wasn't ours anyways. He was a free agent. What? You couldn't have signed him?

Well, I mean, you know, I don't run our books. I mean, what am I supposed to do? Listen to you. All of a sudden you win a championship. Like you guys weren't flailing in the wind the last five years. I didn't go up to Santa Barbara. Huh? Look over your giant hedges and start giving you shit. I know. Listen, I know. I just don't understand. I don't. It's like, I think it's, it's the fucking curse of the Bambino revisited. Maybe. I hope not. It wasn't a sincere moment in that sentence.

I know. How can you go back to a curse? I'm just saying, this guy, first of all, I wasn't, I mean, obviously I knew of him. Did you just compare Mookie Betts to Babe Ruth? I'm just saying, okay, hear me out on this. Just hear me out on this. He's not even Steve Garvey. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

See, I know, I know why he left. He wasn't feeling the love. I mean, he's just not. No, we loved him. But this is the thing. If you get a free agent on your team, you don't get his jersey. It's like falling in love with the stripper. Okay. They're following money around the league. You don't, you don't give your heart to him. So he's going to come in. He's going to do what he was meant there to do. God bless him. I love him. He gets it. It's a business. Go somewhere else. He helped you guys end a drought. He helped us to continue.

I don't have any problem. I didn't have any problem when Garnett left the Celtics, even though he was my favorite Celtic during that era. I understood that he's a Timberwolf. I get it. He's a Timberwolf. He's a Timberwolf. What did Kevin Garnett say when he would punch the thing? And didn't Kevin Garnett also talk before his free throws to himself? Wasn't that his thing? Am I conflating him with somebody else? I don't know. It turns out he's also an amazing actor. How great was he in Uncut Gems? Oh, yeah.

He's great. Yeah. Multi, multi-talented. And I think he, I think that thing that he liked, it was almost shaped like half his head. He's got like the perfect head guys with shaved heads, really look at heads. He has a perfect head. And that thing that he liked was like perfect. It was making him play. Give me a sideways view of your, your head. I want to, I want to judge your, your,

You're, you're not going to be nice. Come on. I am going to be nice. I want to sideways. There's my head. Oh, it is great. It's like a fucking bowling ball. It could not be more geometrically perfect. It could not be more geometrically perfect. Oh, I love people who enthusiastically insult me. It's great. I'm not insulting. What? No, that's what you aspire to. I get it. I get it. You got skin. What do you want? An almond head? Fucking V-neck.

Up there in Santa Barbara, huh? Does Oprah come over and borrow some sugar, you fucking son of a bitch? I know. I'm going to come up there. I'm going to smoke your cigars. Good. And I'm going to be rude. And I'm going to, it's going to be a one and done. I'm going to be a free agent at one of your sports parties. Because I think you've just been too nice to me. I know there's a whole other side of you that's just itching to take a full swing at me. I know it. And I'm down to clown. What are you talking about? You're young blood. All right. I love it. I love that.

Yeah. I love that. That was a huge movie in the Boston area. We liked all of that. All that movie. Everybody else was in the other ones. And then all of a sudden you see you find out that you're that good looking and you're hilarious. That's like Ryan Gosling in the in the the nice guys. Did you see that movie? Yeah, he's great. He's great. It's like it's unfair. He's got it all. We talk about you got it all.

I don't know if I'm on Gosling level. By the way, neighbor, he's up here. Look at you. He's up here. I see him. He could borrow some sugar from me. I was going to bring this ugly stick up to that neighborhood. They might bounce you out of your gated community. No, there's no such thing. You're coming up. You're going to smoke some stogies. We're going to have fun. This is great. I loved it. This is great. I got nothing more to add. This is wonderful. Thank you for... Well, if you're up there smoking, I'll get my ass up there.

Okay, good. We're on. Thank you, man. I do want a profile gift bag when I leave of moisturizers and exfoliations. I got a closet full of them. Okay, cool. That works for me. Thanks for having me on. Thanks, brother. All right. Thank you, Rob. We'll see you. That was fun. That was really fun. What a great dude. What a great free ranging conversation. I had a blast. I talked about things that I love and I'm fans of, and it's always fun to have somebody on the show who is a fan of the same things I am.

Mr. Bill Burr. And again, I'm glad it's not Bill Barr because I can tell you I'm not having a cigar with Bill Barr ever, probably. But I'm definitely having one with Bill Burr. Okay, before I sign off today, we're going to try a little something new, something fun over here, literally. It's called the Lowdown Line. Hello, you've reached literally in our Lowdown Line where you can get the lowdown on all things about me, Rob Lowe. 323-570-

4-5-5-1. So have at it. Here's the beep. Hey, Rob. Kayla from Detroit, Michigan. My question's kind of dumb, but it's the first thing I thought of. Would you rather fight a bear-sized chicken or a chicken-sized bear? It's like an icebreaker. We ask all new people we meet. Love your podcast. Oh, my God. Amazing. I love this question. And by the way, thank you for being the very first caller.

On our call line. I mean, you should win some kind of, I mean, if we were a real podcast and we're really thinking clearly, we'd have some kind of award for that. You were the first caller and our lines are open. So congratulations on that. A bear sized chicken or a chicken sized. Oh, for sure. A chicken sized bear. 100%. That's not even an easy question for me. Just the size. I mean, look, it's a chicken sized bear.

So it's the size of two footballs, basically. You could punt it, but a bear-sized chicken coming at you with that beak and all that crazy, just the size alone thing. Look, I keep it really simple. I want to fight things that are smaller than me, and I don't want to fight things that are bigger than me. Thank you all, and I'll see you next week. You have been listening to Literally with Rob Lowe.

produced and engineered by me, Devin Tory Bryant. Executive produced by Rob Lowe for Lowe Profile. Adam Sachs and Jeff Ross at Team Coco. And Colin Anderson and Chris Bannon at Stitcher. The supervising producer is Aaron Blairt. Talent producer, Jennifer Sampas. Please rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts. And remember to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever you get your podcasts.

This has been a Team Coco production in association with Stitcher.

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