Bobby Lee: Get My Stick Back
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Speeds slower above 40 gigabytes on unlimited plan and additional taxes, fees and restrictions apply. See Mint Mobile for details. I think there's a reason that you came here today. You're like, dude, no one's too busy for... I love Bobby Lee. And I've been on... I was just on Tiger Belly and we had so much fun together. If you haven't listened to that, go find his... The Tiger Belly I did with him. Really, really fun. But it was time for me to...

It's like you go to somebody's house and then you got to have them come over to your house. So he's in my house today. He is on literally. There's no one more unpredictable and insane and sweet natured. And and I think I can say this with respect and love. And I don't think he would be mad out of his mind. Bobby Lee, we just roll in. It's happening right now. Yeah, but it's not live. No, it's not live. So happy birthday. Happy birthday. Happy birthday.

Thank you. It is your birthday. Yeah, death is coming. It's right around the corner. Oh, no, it is not. I'm living in the moment. How old are you today? Oh, this is a fun game. Guess what the Asian's birthday is. Because, you know, it's a real thing. We don't... Guess, because I love it. But... But look at... But this is hard because I could insult you. No, no, you can do it. I want you to do this. You can get insulted either way. I want you to do this. So just imagine...

I'm short round from Indiana Jones. I'm running around. Holy smoke, Dr. Jones. Holy smoke. Now, guess. By the way, you could play short round today and I would believe it. Thank you. I would 100% believe that. I'm actually round. I need to get an O's in pick. I'm fat. Get on the O train, bro. I'm so fat. Anyway. You're not. Guess how old I am. 34. Don't be a fucking asshole, dude. That's fucking bullshit. You know how old... Dude, I've been around forever.

I really was going with, it wasn't a bit. I was going with 34. I'm 53. See, I mean, look at you. I would believe you're 34. I really would. I'm not kidding. Yes. Look, you're so kind. Yeah, man. I'm not as intimidated as the last time. You were?

You were so funny last time. I was a little intimidated by you, but now I think I'm past it. Are you past it? Yeah. Would you be intimidated if we called more celebrities on my phone? Do not do that. Do not do that.

Because somebody showed me the David Duchovny thing, and it was like I was starstruck. I know you were. I'm a man, dude. I'm a fucking—I'm killing it. So, you know, I got shit going on. So I'm not going to melt in front of you again. I'm a man, dude. So not Duchovny at all, ever again. I don't like anybody else. So you don't like anybody else. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Goddamn. Well, I was going to—

Duchovny was... It's hard to recreate that moment. That moment of Double D getting him on the phone and he picked right up. Why did you come up with his nickname Double D and you call me Lee Lee? And it's like, it's insane. But those are... I met you one time. You can't just call me Lee Lee. Can I tell you something? I am not that guy. You know, we all know those people who are like, come up with nicknames. Like, I'm not that guy. But when I'm... When one comes to me, I think it means something because I'm not that guy. Yeah. Like, I don't have them for everybody, but I...

Have one for you, Lili. Logo. No, Rolo. That's you? I'm Rolo. Well, you can't make up your own name. I didn't. Amy Poehler made it up. Not to drop a funny name. She's always first. She's always first, Amy Poehler. Anyway, happy birthday to me. Happy birthday, Lili. I'm not dating anybody. I'm alone.

We just woke up. I just woke up. Pete Diddy's in trouble. So, let me ask you, have you ever been to a freak-off? No. Me either. I never get invited to freak-offs. No, me neither. Yeah. That and weddings. No weddings? Yeah. I don't get invited to funerals, weddings, or freak-offs. How can that be? You're at a certain age where, like, it should be all you're going to. Two weddings I've been to. Did you cry? Yeah, one of them I did. Sebastian Manoscalco. Yes. I went to his.

I went to Dr. Ken Jeong's wedding. I love Dr. Ken. This is before he was famous. How did you know him? He was just a doctor. He was a comic. Wait, wait. Oh, he was, but he wasn't your doctor. No, but I mean, when I was, went through Vicodin a long time ago, like over 20 years ago, I went through a Vicodin withdrawal. He was your dealer? No, no, no. He was the guy I called where I was like, this is what's going on with my body because I did it like in my apartment.

And he really helped me through it. That sounds like a movie. It's pretty cool. Like detoxing and the sweats and crawling around. And Ken Jeong is your doctor? Yeah, it was cool. I think I would recast that role if we're making the movie. Yeah, I don't think Ken Jeong can do it. Yeah, he wouldn't do it now. No, I love Ken Jeong. I do too. He's a nice guy. He tried to get me to do The Masked Singer. I was like...

Nobody wants to be singing with a mask on. I don't think that's what America wants. You know? Yeah. Can you sing? Hey, little sister, what have you done? Dugga, dugga, dugga. It's Bane singing Billy Idol. Hey, little sister, who's the only one? That's what America would have if it was me. And I don't think they're into it.

And nor should they be. You have a very good voice, very good looking man, talented actor. So why would you need the singing? That'd be too much. No, everybody, every actor should be able to sing. Let me see if I can. Not my key. Okay. But that's one of my favorite songs. It's one of my, so when I was in the eighth grade, Rob. Yes. I got cast in The Sound of Music and I played Kurt. Oh.

The middle kid. Yeah. And this is in the 80s, okay? Yeah. So imagine a packed theater, you know, not theater, but school playhouse. And, you know, when Fraulein Maria brings down the kids down the stairs, right? As soon as the audience sees me, there's a rolling laughter.

Why? Because there's an Asian kid out of nowhere. Out of nowhere? Yeah, yeah. So as I'm walking down the stairs, I can hear laughter, and I'm like so super self-conscious. And then as soon as, you know, I have this line where I go, I'm Kurt, I'm 13, whatever the line is. As soon as I did that, it got standing ovation laughter. It was like rolling. People were like, ah!

And people were like laughing so hard. So after the play, I walked up to the director and I go, can we change the lines at least?

So I'm Kurt. I'm adopted from Korea or something. Yeah, something, exactly. To ground me into the fucking story. Right, exactly. But they wouldn't do it. So every night, it would just kill. Is that why you wanted to become a comic? You were like, yeah, for sure. Maybe, maybe. It was like, you know, something where like, I played out in the sun too long. That's why my eyes are like this or whatever, but nothing. So it just, it became a comedy, that fucking play. But it was my first introduction to...

laughs in front of a crowd. And the second time I got a laugh was when I was 17. I went to this place called Saturday Night Speakers Meeting. I was in AA. And it was a huge... You know, every Pacific group? Of course. So the Pacific group used to have a meeting in San Diego on Saturday nights in La Jolla. And I was the first speaker. And I killed it.

I killed it, Rob. Were the audience all drunk, though? No, no, no. I mean, no, no, no. I'm kidding. I keyed. But it was like the first time where I went, oh. And then I remember a man coming up to me after that going, you should do comedy. Really? Yeah. How old were you? I was 17 or 18 years old.

Wow. Yeah. And the man coming up to the 17-year-old was, you should do comedy, it was not a precursor to, and go to the freak-off. No, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, the freak-off. They didn't have freak-offs back then. Does freak-offs involve, do they protect themselves? I don't know, but they list the things that were apprehended in the raids. Tell me what they are. I can't. It makes my, I, I, I.

What can I guess? Lube. Okay, good. But the cases and cases of part, like they don't need to say that. They don't need to say that in the affidavit. I don't need to know there was cases and cases. Of what, lube? Yes. Yeah. Elaborately staged. Wow. See, I'm doing my own button. But he's in trouble, right? I don't think it's good.

He's in big trouble, am I not right? I know, and I'm remembering those awful ads for Sirkoff or Sircroff or whatever the hell drink it was. What's it called again? Sirrock? Remember those? No, I know Sirracha, but... He'd be like, it wasn't Sirracha, he'd be like wandering around and like

You know, and like the coolest guy on the, drink Sirocco or whatever the hell it was. Had my drink off. Anyway, what were you, I'm sorry, I'm just kind of obsessed with it. Now, you were on, you did Family Feud, right? Did you do Celebrity Family Feud or am I making this up in my own mind? I just did it, yeah. You just did it? Well, I did it maybe four months ago. And? How was it? Did you win? Well, I have to tell you, Rob, it was kind of a nightmare. How could that be? I'll tell you why.

Because there was a viral thing that happened a couple years ago where I say that I was molested by a guy with Down syndrome. I know this viral. Yeah, and then Brian Callen and Brendan Shaw, we did a bit. It became a little viral thing, okay? Very viral. Very viral. So now I'm at Family Feud. I'm with Andrew Santino, my ex-girlfriend Kalilah, Esther Provensky, Gene, my friends. Anyway, Flavor Flav is the family we're competing against. Okay.

This sounds like a layup to me. It's not. Yeah, I know. To me, to me, I'm like, oh, we got this. To me, this is like you are there. But Steve Harvey, right? I think there's favoritism. I'm not sure. There is. I did it. There's for sure favoritism. Right. So what happened was Flavor Flav's introduction was 25 minutes long. They had to cut it, obviously. But it was a love fest. So he was the first family he introduced. So Steve Harvey was like,

Oh, my dog. Right? And they hug and they talk about history. Like, in 1988, you did this. You did that. This and that. This and that. And I'm going to Andrew. I'm like looking at Andrew and going, God, I don't know him. I don't know. This is going to be terrible. I've never met him before. He knows nothing about me. Mm-hmm. So after the fucking... Oh, sorry. No, you're good. This is all good. Okay. After the... Am I talking too much? My audience is wide and diverse. Okay, good. We've got people who go, that's too much language. And people go, we need more language. Oh, okay. Okay.

So then Steve Harvey comes to me. He looks at me and I'm like, he's going to give me a basic intro probably, but he doesn't. He goes, oh man, this young man, something happened to him throughout a whole summer. Oh,

Right. And I'm like blushing now. I'm going, what the fuck is going on? And Andrew's like going like in his mouth going, what the fuck is going on? And he goes, y'all, something happened to this young man for a whole summer. I can't tell you what it is, but it's crazy.

Oh. So basically my intro was, this guy was molested. That. Okay. Right. That is. Now we're playing. And that's all I can fucking think about, dude. Well, yeah. I'm like, oh, this is all I can think about. And so it's just like, you know, I'm supposed to be the leader, but I'm like all, you know, confused. I had. What did you have? So it was my family versus Terrence Howard's family. Oh.

And did you know Terrence Howard is either you, you literally, he's literally either a certified groundbreaking astrophysicist mathematician genius or

Or a certified insane person. I know. And no one really knows which it is. He has this whole mathematical formula. I've seen him on Rogan. It's unbelievable. Unbelievable. It's so fascinating. Wow. And I love him. He's the nicest. He's like Beautiful Mind. Yes. And an amazing actor. Amazing. I mean, amazing. You're sticking to the corner. So I'm psyched. I've never seen him, but I'm sure. But Steve Harvey was like, and here...

It's the Lowe family. Yeah. Rob Lowe is on Lowe Star. Like, didn't even pronounce my show correctly that I'm on. And then goes, and Terrence Howard is...

Double Oscar nomination, best actor who ever lived, and like gave it up to Terrence Howard like no other. What? It's the exact same experience. Same thing. Exact same experience. Same thing. Did you win? And we won. We did win. Whoa. Because of my wife. Because my wife Cheryl plays Family Feud on her iPad all hours of the night. You be black, beautiful mind. Well, there weren't enough math questions. Oh, maybe that's what it is. Because I would have, if it would have been. Yeah.

you know, explain string theory. Yeah. He would have killed me. Yeah. So did you, and who did the fast money? You and your wife? My wife and I did. Wow. And she went first and I literally only had to get 10 points to win it. And my first,

Eight answers were for a total of like three points. Wow. And I was not great. You were first. She was she was first. So I had the harder job, I think. I don't know. I mean, listen, she was all her at the last minute. I got eight points in one answer and we were good to go. But we and the other thing is, I think if in the history of Family Feud, we might be the only family.

That went all the way through, won everything and won the fast money without ever touching a buzzer. Not I'm talking about not being late on a buzzer. I'm talking about we never touched a buzzer. Not once. What you're saying is you won a baseball game without hitting the ball. That's right. Wow. How? Like we never knew the answer. You know, the rules of the game that we were slow. You know, I always thought about you.

Whenever I saw you on West Wing, I'm like, that guy seems slow. He's not the guy that they think is. How did you come up with the name Tiger Belly for your podcast? So I have a friend named Charlie Finn. He's an actor. He's one of my best buddies. And just one day I called him Tiger Belly. And he used to giggle. It makes no sense. And then for years, I just called him Tiger Belly. And then, like, you call me Lee Lee. Yeah. And then when I was starting this podcast, I just said,

I'll just call it that. It's great. Yeah, thank you. It's a great name. Yeah. And then Bad Friends, my other podcast, was for months we couldn't think of it. And somebody had made a song about...

up for our podcast. And in the song, somebody yells out in the background, bad friends. And I go, let's just let that be it. You know what I mean? So it just comes kind of, sometimes it just happens by accident, you know? Yeah, for sure. What's this called? Just Rob Lowe? Oh, literally. Literally. Yeah, how'd you come up with that literally? It was a nod to my Parks and Rec character that says literally all the time. Yeah, you were so funny on that. No, thanks. It's good when you have good writing. You have...

you know, I know this is your podcast and I know you're the captain of the ship. No, but I want to say, um, I'm such a big fan of yours. I just kind of grew up watching you, but you have the, I can't even look at you right now, but you see what I'm doing? Yeah. I can't even look at you, but you have, no, you have, you have, you have it all. I think. Oh, come on. No, shut the fuck up. But what I'm saying to you is, is that,

I'm telling you, the first, I told you this on mine, the first four seasons of The West Wing are probably my favorite television of all time. And I always put myself in the show, like, could I say these lines and the rhythm of

Yes, you could. No, I can't. Let me fucking talk. Okay. Okay? All right. And I go, I can't. And I used to watch it, trying to memorize your lines when you sent them. I wouldn't be able to do it. But I just thought to myself, you, Bradley Whitford, Allison Janet, you guys have just a kind of talent that I don't have. And I really...

I just admire it so much. And this is the last compliment I'm ever going to tell you. And then I can look at you again after I'm done with this little rant. He's literally not looking at me. Yeah, yeah. You know, I mean, even as a kid, seeing you in The Outsiders, you know.

from then on, you know? But anyway, you were always in my realm of my world. That's amazing. Thank you. And so I'm going to now go back, look at your stupid face. Dumbass face. Your dumbass fucking droopy face. Droopy. And I'm going to continue the podcast. Hello. Where else can you go surfing and skiing?

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Ohio is known for being the heart of it all, not just because of its location, but because of the focus on things here that matter the most. Family. Community.

More and more companies are building their businesses in Ohio or relocating because they see the opportunity to pioneer innovation in a place their people and their families will love to live. The cost of living in Ohio is 11% less than the national average, which means your paycheck goes further for all the things you love to do. Not only will you save money, but you'll save a much more precious resource.

time. The average commute in Ohio is just 24 minutes, meaning you get home quicker to be with people you love. I'm from Ohio. I don't need an advertisement to tell me how great Ohio is. My whole family is from Ohio. My grandpa ran the Spot Restaurant in Sydney, Ohio. Greatest hamburgers and pies in the world. Thank you very much. It's still there. Started in 1911. Lots of great stuff. It's

Allow yourself to imagine living the good life in Ohio and see what it's like to live, work, and play in the heart of it all and find even more reasons to make the big move at callohiohome.com. Finding the perfect gift can be pretty overwhelming. You always want to make sure you're giving gifts that people actually want. This year, give timeless gifts made from premium materials with Quince. Quince lets you treat your loved ones and yourself best.

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for 365 day returns plus free shipping on your order that's q-u-i-n-c-e dot com slash rob to get shipping and 365 day returns quince.com slash rob i've been sober oh yeah two and a half years maybe over that and um

It's great. I've done it differently this time. It takes what it takes. Some people, I was lucky. It took for me the first time. I know plenty of people that have multiple like stops and starts and there's no one way to do it. Rob, I had 13 years at one point and then 17 years at one point. That's amazing. And if I, you know what I mean? Can I ask you something then? Yeah, go ahead. Okay. So you have 13 years at one point. Get loaded.

You have 17, did you say? I had 17 years of sobriety at one point. What goes into your mind? Because I think we might have touched this base a little bit about this on your show. Yeah. Because I have had so many friends say things to me in sobriety where they're like, dude, I'm 17 years sober, okay? I'm not... I know so much more now. And I was a kid. I was 20. It's like, that's what you do. I'm not going to...

I'm not going to like ruin my life or anything, but you know, like I'm, I'm taking a job in Europe and, and I, you know, I want to be able to have, you know, a glass of red wine at, at dinner. Okay. I mean, Jesus, I just think that I'm at the point within six months they've,

Bitten a cop in the face. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or something like that. Yes, really. Every fucking time. The first time I relapsed at 13 years was I got sober when I was 17. That's unbelievable. Okay, so now I'm 30 and I was on a show, right? So then I relapsed then. And that was then. That was me going, I was too young. Yeah, sure. There's just no way. And then once you do it, the first two days, you're like, oh, this gets scary. This is real.

Like it just, it just dawns on you that, oh my God, I have this disease. And then that was a year. I stayed out for a year. It was terrible. And then the 17 year one was not going to meetings for like five years. When people say, you know, when, you know, cause you know, you get in a rhythm and you get some time behind you and you're like, you know what? I can do this on my own. And at the end of the day, you can't because just one day you're just mind just switches. Yeah.

Oh, my God.

I go, hey, guys, I'm going out Thursday. You planned it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You made an appointment. Yeah, and I go, after the meeting, you can say whatever you want to convince me, but I guarantee you I'm going out Thursday. And so after the meeting, you know, I get a surrounding of men. And I did what, you know, I did what people told me to do is to be honest. Yes. It didn't work because I...

You had it on the calendar. Yeah, I had it on the calendar. And all these men were like, look at the consequences. You're doing well. You know what I mean? It gave me all the positives and this and that. And once you make a decision, it's over, I think. The voice. Right. The voice had already won. The voice had won. Yeah. And I remember I flew to Hawaii Thursday because I knew I was shooting Magnum PI. Well, that would make me drink. I'd start drinking, too.

I did like 14 episodes. One of my favorite shows. Anyway, but so I was flying, right? I was at the Alliax. And I remember I got like these gummies and I took them on the flight. So you went out with gummies. That was the weapon of choice. Yeah. And I laughed through the whole flight.

Just giggling. You know what I mean? And then, um, what is 17 years of sobriety? That's unbelievable. Right. And then that's all. Dude, I remember also being on set and people like giving me pens and just shooting high. What are pens? Like, you know, marijuana pens. Oh, I'm such an old timer. They didn't. Oh, there's, you can vape it. I do know that, but it's like, I've, I missed so much of that. I don't know what the kids are doing today, but I'm telling you, Rob,

Within a month, you're back in it, and it's so scary. It's like you cannot believe it. And, you know, you forget about it when you're sober for a long time, but when you're doing it, you go, I remember now. And I remember why I got sober, because this is terrible. And I think what it is is that you have no connection to anybody.

The spirituality is gone. You know what I mean? There's no reason to live really, you know? And, you know, and then also the people around you quickly become, their diseases come out, they're enabling and they're, you know what I mean? And you can see it, you know, people's, you know, and then you kind of go, oh, I'm back where I was. And now, now,

If I didn't get sober when I was 17 and all those chunks of sobriety, I wouldn't be here today because the reason why I did stand-up was because I was sober. And, like, I was, you know, at six years of sobriety, I went, you know what? I'm brave enough and I have a strong enough spiritual foundation to have faith, and I just did it. You know what I mean? And, you know, I had...

all these men, sober men around me supporting me. And it was, you know, I mean, without that, I wouldn't be here. So like, I think these chunks of sobriety really did help. Am I being too serious? No, not at all. No, no. I felt like, all right. This is great. So then I just want to, it's just a forewarning to people listening is, is that no matter how much you think you have your shit together, I think you have to stay connected to your,

just going to meetings and having a sponsor. And, you know, I mean, I don't, I don't, I go to make two, two or three week, but let me tell, I'll tell you this. I did a movie in Montana a couple of weeks ago and I would take an Uber into the fucking planes into a school where it's all these old white people with like oxygen tanks and like, and I, and I'm sitting there in this fucking meeting with a bunch of old white people that never seen an Asian in a meeting.

And they were like kind of going, oh, young man, you know what I mean? Are you from around here? You know what I mean? And they're like, yeah, you know, I've got some time, but I just needed to go to a meeting. And I'm willing to do really kind of anything to at least check in, you know? That's great. Do you go to meetings on the road or no? See, I'm getting— You should not even talk about it. No, no, no. Are you out? No, no, no. No, what's great is I'm probably getting what I need to hear, right? Because I had to be in a certain amount of psychic pain or anxiety.

Before I go, okay, God, all right, let's go to a meeting. You know what I mean? Which is a dangerous place to be. I think there's a reason that I had you here, that you came here today. You're like, dude, no one's too busy for a meeting. But you forget, though, Rob, why we're there in the first place. And it's not for us. Right. It's for your fellow man. Right. It's for the guy that's suffering. You know, I started my own meeting in L.A. for comics. Right.

And me and my other friend Brittany started it. And we wanted a safe space for – because, you know, when you read a comic, get a DUI, you know what I mean, and you approach them, their immediate reaction is just, you know, the walls come up. They're like, I'm never going to go to a meeting, right? But if you go, you know, it's all comics, you know what I mean? And it's at a comedy club.

I took a chip at a comedy club once. Really? Comic store? Comic store. Years ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You did? Yeah, I did. Back in the day. Back in the day, yeah. And so it makes them feel safe. And so we've been able to help a couple of people, you know? And it's just, sorry, I just have water in my lungs. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm totally fine. Yeah, I'm fine. I'm having secondhand anxiety with the story. Why?

Because I get it. I can understand it. Why? Why? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, look at what I'm doing. Yeah, yeah, what are you doing? Yeah, yeah. I'm making origami out of this cord that I'm holding. I'm under so much stress from that. But, you know, I mean, you seem very grounded. Fine. I'm just giving you a fucking... No, and look, I do tons of... Therapy, I think, is a huge part of it. Huge. Huge. I don't know how people do it and keep it going alone with...

Without that component. I don't see long-term how people do it. I think, just my opinion, is there should be some changes to the big book. You know what I mean? Oh, well. To catch up. It's funny you said it. Here's where they really need to do it, on the traditions. Because there's a world where you're supposed to have personal anonymity, and this is a direct quote, at the level of press. Radio and films. Radio and films. Yeah. Well, I call bullshit on that because I think people need to see that there's hope.

Yeah. They may be able to go look, go, Hey, if that guy can do it or that girl can do it, I can do it. If you don't have to do it on a podcast like this. And it doesn't say personal. Yeah. They don't even mention podcasts. They didn't even know they insisted. I'm going to name everybody who's in alcohol. We're allowed to talk about it. No, about our own. Right. I'm just not allowed to talk about yours. I guess you're right. But, but I think I've known people like personally, you're sending me out there. Cause really? Well, cause here's the theory. If, if the theory is,

And by the way, I made my decision with this a long time ago, but I'm publicly known to be in recovery. If I were to slip since everybody knows I'm in recovery.

They would go, see, it doesn't work. I knew it. That's the argument against it, which I go bullshit on. I think that the that the upside of sharing your strength and hope and recovery outweighs the downside with with the notion that everybody that that everybody is fallible and some people get it for a while and some people don't. And it just it's a process.

My theory is a little different, though. I think that I talk about it because every time that I've gone out,

It weighs on me that, you know what I mean? I'm known to be a sober guy, right? It weighs on me that, you know, half my friends are people in the program. You know what I mean? Yeah, for sure. So it's like, by me talking about it, it drives me faster back into the rooms. By the way, here's what's weird. As we're doing this, I just got a text from my sober buddy group. They must know we're talking. Oh, that's cool. That's cool. That's cool.

Sometimes words seem so unnecessary.

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I wanted to ask you about, and I really mean this, and I'm so glad you're here. I'm so glad I came. I'm glad you're here. I really want to sincerely ask. It has nothing to do with recovery, okay? It has to do with this, okay? Yeah. I feel like I'm going to die alone. It's not a pity party, okay? But I feel like I can't... I want to meet somebody where I can fall in love, but I feel like...

My sticky, I'm not sticky anymore. Okay, let me explain myself. I'm with you so far. Just hear my theory here. Okay, let's hear it. My friend said, right, there was a girl that I was seeing, and she was like, yeah, your sticker has no more stick. And I go, what do you mean? And this is what she said. Okay, imagine yourself as a scotch tape, right? And a piece of paper is every time you hook up with a girl or you're dating, right?

Right. So then you undo it. Right. But you, where I've had a thousand stick, you know what I mean? Right. And no, it's no longer sticky. Wow. What? That is an amazing. And I go, well, I want to get back to the stick. You know what I mean? So, you know, and I thought, so I find that. That's by the super powerful analogy. Yeah.

Are you being real? Yes. Yeah. 100%. Yeah. Because what I find is in my early twenties, when I first started dating, I remember being more in love, more mesmerized by a woman. Right. And going, Oh my. And those feelings of like being in a pink cloud, you know, and all that. And that's dead to me. That's gone. You know what I mean? I, you know, I, I mean, I, I get, you know, I get like,

I wonder what she looks like naked kind of excitement. But it's like, you know, that the magical feelings I used to have are completely gone. So I'm trying to get my stick back, bro. I like getting. So how do you get your stick? I'm asking you. I'm sorry. I'm yelling. How do I get my stick back, Rob? First of all, I hope I've not lost my stick. But boy, that is you stay out there too long.

run in the game yeah because i had i had an epiphany when i was younger where i was like i didn't know i didn't know about losing my stick i wish i had because it's the perfect it's the perfect yeah summation of what i was feeling like i intuitively knew i was losing my my stick without knowing that was a thing and it's one of the reasons why like okay i gotta settle down and find the right person and i was able to do it but i first of all you haven't lost your stick um

Because... Okay, tell me. You... I see the stickiness. Now, I'm a dude. That's weird. What? Another dude saying that I see a stickiness is weird. I see you have so... Take that back. No, I won't take it back. I refuse to take it back. Well, I don't see any stickiness in you. So you see stickiness in me still. I do. 100%. Yeah.

So I'm going to try to get my stick back. You know what I mean? Yeah, what are you going to? More importantly, what are you going to do? Well, I know what I need to do. What? But I'm not going to do it yet. Why? Well, first of all, what is it? Oh, you want to know? Yes. Okay, I was going to tell you. I think what I'm going to do, what I need, here's what I know I need to do. Okay. What I need to do is spend one year not dating anybody. Oh, boy. Okay. Right. Oh, boy. What? You're asking me what I think I need to do.

The second thing I need to do is go to Steve O route and not ejaculate as much. Oh, boy. Yeah, yeah. So cut out porn entirely. This gets worse and worse. I know. It seems impossible. But completely cut out porn. I'm going to stop eating. I'm going to forego oxygen. There is going to be no oxygen for at least a year. Yeah, yeah.

And then also dive really deep into my program and more of a spiritual thing and think of it more in a spiritual way of praying about like, you know what I mean? What's your prayer life like?

Well, I don't get on my hands and knees anymore, but I do internal, like close my eyes and I do internal prayers, you know, but I, um, maybe we go consistent. Not really. Not as much as I want to. I've gotten in the last decade, super consistent and it's made a huge difference. Huge, huge, huge, huge mornings and night. You know what? I want to do it.

It's really, and by the way, it doesn't have to be a big deal. Yeah. But it is remarkable, remarkable, the difference. Let me ask you about prayer. So instead of being specific, like, dear God, you know what I mean? Please help me, you know, get my Audi A6. I have a pilot that it's helping to get it picked up by NBC. Yeah, yeah. But can you do this? It's tested really well. Can you do general ones like, dear God, can you help me?

Because he knows what you need help with. Yes. Right. So that's, I mean, that's really helped me. And I think when, if I say help me, that he knows it has to do with, I feel like maybe there is somebody that he has, he or she or whatever it is, as in my, you know what I mean? But even thinking about God like that, it's like sometimes I slip into know God too. Do you?

I'm no, it's taken me to the point where I'm, I'm very comfortable with all of the, the, the lingo and all of it. It took me years, years and years and years and years and years. Yeah. Years. And somebody just told me to just act as if, act as if you believe it. That's what I, yeah. Fake it till you make it. Fake it till you make it, which, which worked for me. And now I believe it. Not only believe it, but I've, I've, I've had empirical evidence of, of what that brings to my life. But I also, you have snooty friends that are like, you know what I mean?

And they try to talk you down. Highfalutin intellectuals do not like to talk about this. Yeah. They don't. They go, what about the Crusades?

You know what I mean? Right. And I go, what do you mean? How could there be a God? And you're like, I don't know. You know what I mean? What about the little baby born in Congo with HIV? You know what I mean? And you're like, I don't know. You know? And then when you run or hang out with these Ivy League snooty snoots, right? Yeah. You start going, oh, maybe there isn't one. But then when I just kind of close my eyes and I meditate and stuff, I go, there's something about, there's something that I do still remember.

And maybe it was like put in me when I was sober when I was 17 years old because I really believed then. I was so desperate. I was willing to do anything, right, to get it. I was so desperate. So I think that planted a seed within me. And, you know, sometimes I do kind of when I'm around some friends, I slip into maybe there isn't.

But still, deep down inside, I think there is. So I don't know. It's a conflict. For me, it's like at the beginning when I was having those struggles, a little bit, it was like, it just makes me feel better to believe there is. So that's where I'm going. I think that's... I'm just going there. It feels better when I believe there is. Yeah, you're right. And by the way, guess what? It isn't a test, a right or wrong test where they go, you're wrong, you're right. At the end of it, it doesn't make any difference. It's like...

Yeah. Like, I feel life is better with faith. I do. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think you're right. And also, when you look at history, I love history. I'm a big historian, and you look at all...

all the people of faith throughout history, it's like, I want to be in that foxhole. Yeah. Right? I don't want to be, you know, with all due respect, in the agnostic people foxholes. Yeah. I love, you know what, do you like Ken Burns? Love Ken Burns. So I'm a huge Ken Burns fan. Same. Last night, I watched his document about the Dust Bowl. I've seen parts of it.

You know what the Dust Bowl is? - Yeah. - Yeah. And I was watching it and I'm like, these people, they can't feed their families, right? They're destitute. But some of them refuse to leave, right? And also, the Dust Bowl, it's like, you know, they would get hurt just being out there because the sand was so rough. It's like sandpaper fucking, you know what I mean? And this is years of like, you know what I mean, of this loss, you know?

And then I just feel guilty because I get completely, why is there no Wi-Fi? You know what I mean? Like, you get, you know what I mean? My Xbox is at work. You know what I mean? And then when I watch the struggles of people in the past, it kind of grounds you and you go, you know what, dude? We won the lottery, dude. Oh, we're- You and I? Oh. We won the lottery, dude. The lottery. We won it. We won it.

We really did. We are so lucky. We did. We did. We are so lucky. And I'll tell you the other thing is when... This has for sure been the greatest time to be alive. I'm sorry. 100%. 100%. It's not even close. People are like, oh, there's no... I was like, you know what? Uh-uh. Come on now. Yeah. We've got... We have problems. There's a lot of problems. Right? But I'm just saying...

If you compare it to the history of the world, we, we, everyone on the planet, and maybe not everyone. We can't say that. Not everyone. Not, no, not, no, but pound for pound per capita on average. Yes. On average. Yeah. Not, not, not people who are elite and have gone to the top of the, I'm talking about the average person is so much better being alive today than they've ever been in their life. It's not even funny. Yeah, it really is. It's not even like if you. I mean, there was a time when I'm 53, I would have died already. Yeah.

Yes. Well, just look. I mean, dad with no stick. Dad with no stick, dude. Look at no stick. Look at...

what people looked like at those eight. That's my favorite thing to when, when you go on the internet and they're like, here's the cast of cocoon. They were in their late forties. Dude, that blows my mind. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah. When red Fox did like, you know what I mean? Sanford was like 50, 50, not even 50. Yeah. He looked so old. How about this? Yeah. Yeah. Kamala Harris is running eight. Tim walls. He was 60. I'm older than he is. That's insane. I'm older than him. That's in. That's crazy. Talk.

Tim Walls? You're older than Tim Walls? Yep. What happened? I mean, it's just... He ate too many funnel cakes. We got a fact shake in there, but I'm pretty sure... He funnel caked it, huh? Dude, funnel... Well, listen, I would go... You think it's genetics? I would go down with funnel cakes. I mean, I try to eat, you know, Atkins protein healthy, but I think you got to pick your... That's the other thing. Do you have this where...

See, look, I'm getting acid reflux just talking about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, what are your, like, cheat days? Like, people go, you drink a lot of coffee. Or, like, my wife's like, this is your second cigar today. I'm like, it could be my second eight ball today. Let's just fucking, like, be happy. Yeah, yeah. Come on. Every day is a cheat day.

What are you talking about? I have no, just every day. What do you mean? Just, you've cheated everything. I, I, I'm gluttonous. You're gluttonous. Is that a right word? Yes, it is. And this is the problem with me is, is that I, I have no filter. I just, if I want it, I get it. 12 donuts from sidecar. I'm going to get it. You know what I mean? Um,

five acai bowls a day, I want it with the peanut butter. You know what I mean? And that's why I had such a belly. And that's why I'm morbidly obese. You're not morbidly obese. Google it, dude. Anyway. Those stats are complete hogwash. I've seen those stats. That's like, do you remember when Kennedy started the, um,

Not when JFK started the like the health thing and all schools were required because I remembered I was I was young enough to and you had to buy government mandate. You had to go out on the playground. I believe it was 20 pull ups and such. You couldn't do it. You couldn't like they always set that bar way too high. You can't do 20 pull ups.

Can you do 20? I promise you. I can't do one. I can't even do one. I've never done one though. What does it matter? You're supposed to do it. There's a box you check. I've never done one. Okay, well, the year has. I don't think I've ever tried. That's the thing where you're like this. Yes. And then you do this. The hardest things in the world. Wow. Hardest things in the world. That's insane. And the notion these kids are supposed to crack off 20 of them and then do 50 is like,

I don't know, Kennedy, maybe it's what you guys are doing in Hyannisport, but I don't think we can pull that off here. And then Bush Sr. reinstituted with Arnold. Arnold was the one going to country and he was going to do the pull-ups and the things of nature and whatever. And I could never pass that. But you exercise, though. I do, every day. I love it. Like, what do you do? Peloton?

I do Peloton weights. I was at the surf ranch, Kelly Slater's surf ranch yesterday. Was Kelly there? He was not there. I've never seen him there yet. Have you met him before? I have. Oh, yeah. He's an amazing athlete. Imagine who you've met. Imagine who you fucking met, bro. I'm lucky. No, I mean. It's one of my favorite things about doing what I do. I'm lucky that I met you. What have you met, bro? Holy. Imagine, dude.

Like, let me ask you something. Yeah. I'm going to tell you who I haven't met, the type of people I haven't met. And have you ever met a president? Many. Holy fuck. Let me ask you what presidents. Have you met Bill? Yes. Many times. He's great. Barack.

I've never met Barack Obama. Fuck you then. See? I'm sorry. That was rude. No, no. It only took you one guest to get somebody that I've met. You've never met Barack. I've never met Barack Obama. Have you met Kamala Harris? I have met Kamala Harris. Have you met Donald Trump? He called into an appearance I was doing.

on a talk show. He said, I like what you're talking about, this charity you're working with, and I'd like to, I'd like to give you some money. I really would. I'm going to write some money and you're a handsome man. You're very, he said, I was so obsessed with handsome people or big people. He liked, he liked. So Jimmy Carter. Yes. Wow. That's insane. All right. So presence aside. Okay. Have you ever met a King?

he was not a king at the time, but I've met Prince Charles. So he's a king now. He's a king now. Yeah. So technically. You have met kings. Okay. A prince. Many. Oh my God. I've never met a prince. And I've met Prince. Holy shit. The prince. Fuck. Okay. Have you met Michael Jackson? I have a, one of my most cherished photos is Michael and I

backstage in Paris and he's in this silver skin tight bad jumpsuit. Yeah. And we're in the middle of some very heavy discussion. I don't remember what we were talking about, but it's one of my favorite. How about his monkey Stumpy or whatever his name is? Bubbles. Bubbles. Stumpy. Stumpy. Whatever his name is, the little monkey. Stumpy. I didn't meet. Okay, you didn't meet Stumpy. I didn't meet the chimp. All right, so you met Prince. You met Michael Jackson. Okay, Madonna. Yes. Yes.

Wow. Many times. Many times? Wow. Yeah. So if you saw Madonna on the street, she'd go, bonjour, and kiss you? On both cheeks. Yeah. Billie Eilish. Let's get a new Billie Eilish. Oh, no. I haven't met Billie Eilish. Oh, the new people. There's a new crop. That you haven't met. Yeah, because I'm not in circulation like I used to be.

You know what I mean? I don't see that. No, but I'm not. You're very circulated to me. No, listen, I'm with my family. I'm in Santa Barbara. I'm working, but I'm not, you know, you're not out as much. Right. But I do go out of my way to put myself in positions where I'm going to make memories and meet people. And I think that's really, really important. You know, I had a memory last week that I cried and this is going to sound so stupid.

Can I tell you? Yeah. I didn't cry. Well, I cried. I watched a show called Long Lost Family. I've heard of this. It's on the Learning Channel. It's one of the greatest. If you ever want to cry, you literally want to cry, watch Long Lost Family. It'll break you. Anyway. Really? But aside from that, sometimes I cry during 600 Pound Life.

I get that. Yeah. So sad. I get that. When they have like a, you know. Yeah, for sure. I have a corn dog stuck in my neck flap. Right. And you know what I mean? And they're like, I'll pull it out. You know what I mean? And they're like, right. And they can't get the corn dog out. You know what I mean? It's so sad. Right. Or they say stuff like I sat on my stomach again. I was like, how is that even possible? I sat on my stomach again. How is that even humanly possible? And you just see that you're so sad about it, you know?

But I can't see my hand. I saw one, you know what I mean? And the partner has to go, here it is. You know what I mean? And they're like, oh, thank you. Whatever. No, I don't really. But so I cried. So I'll tell you, I cried last week. I get a call. Okay. I've risen. Let's just, let's be honest. In the last three or four years, I feel like I've risen. Yeah, I get that. And it's difficult to say.

I get that. I don't like saying it. You've risen. I've risen a little bit. Yeah. And it's like, I've been in situations where like, oh, I can't believe it kind of thing. But last week was the kicker. So I get a call from Dave Chappelle's people and he goes, I want to fly you out here. Because his brother-in-law was a huge fan of me and Andrew.

And he had passed. And it was his one-year anniversary. So Dave wanted me and Andrew out there. So he flew us in a private plane. The day after the debate, we flew into Springfield. No way. Yeah. They're eating dogs. Yeah. And that's all. And then he got us a private plane, flew us there. We go in. He's sitting there on the tarmac. And we get in his car. We talk about, you know, um...

The debate in Springfield, there's no dogs being eaten. Anyway, my point is that we go to a clubhouse, we hang out at his clubhouse, then we get IV drips. This is amazing. It's amazing. This sounds like the greatest night of my life. It's so great. It would be amazing. And we're just talking about comedy. And you're in Yellow Springs, which I grew up near Yellow Springs. I'm in Yellow Springs. No. Oh, yeah, I grew up there. I grew up in Dayton, and we would go every weekend to Yellow Springs. What a beautiful, quaint, beautiful place. Isn't it beautiful? It's beautiful. Fantastic. And so you grew up in Dayton. Mm-hmm.

Wow, I didn't know you're from Dayton. Yeah. I have a band that's from Dayton that I really like. You probably don't know much about. The Breeders? Are they from Dayton? Breeders from Dayton. There's a band called Guided by Voices. I know. I don't know them. I'll look them up. Okay. That was quick. Anyway, I have IV. I'll look them up. So I have IV drips, right? But let me tell you about Guided by Voices. Okay. Okay.

Robert Pollard from Dayton, right? He was a school teacher. And one day he went, I want to start a band with my friends and his brother and son. So they started a band. They recorded everything. So it's lo-fi music.

but Alien Lanes and B1000 are just masterpiece albums. I just want to throw that out to your friends. Anyway, so I have E-Lit drips. We're talking with Dave, and then me and Andrew go, we're going to go to the hotel because we're going to do a show that night. We did a show with him. And so we get in the car, and we'll see you later, Dave. And as the doors close, I burst into tears through joy. Does that sound dumb? No.

No. Guys, does that sound dumb? No, it doesn't sound dumb at all. I would never tell him this directly, but it's like, it was just one of those moments where it's like, another thing that happened, I was at a, years ago, this is the same summer, I'm sorry, but I was with a girl, this is before I met Kalilah, and I was on a date, it was going horribly, and we were at the Grove, right? Well, that's the first mistake. Right, and we're gonna go watch a movie. Wait, a date went wrong at the Grove? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I could, you know how you're on a date, like, you know, and I was kind of sticky then. Yeah. I was going to say, I was pretty sick. I was pretty sick then. Yeah. Good. And so we're, you know, and I remember like, Oh, this girl, there's none that we're not jiving. She was hot as fuck now. And so I remember before the movie, we're going to watch a movie before that we went to the, um, Barnes and Noble. That's there. It was during the holidays. I remember. And we're in the magazine stuff section. Chris Ronk was there.

And I never talked to Chris Rock. I mean, he, he, Chris Rock will give me a pound and that's it. He goes, my man, you know what I mean? I get that from him. Yeah. And then this time he walks up to us. He's there to me and my date. And he goes, this young man, one of the funniest guys in the business. And he walks away. He goes, Merry Christmas. And he walks away.

I got laid that night. But anyway. I'd hope so. Thank you so much, Chris. But, shout out to Chris. But the cry last week, I was kind of wondering why I would cry. I don't know why. I think the reason why is because you and I had different upbringings, especially in the show business. Yeah. What? Yes, I'm agreeing. Okay. All right. Whatever, dude. I'm just following along.

Following my guests. All right. I'll follow you wherever you go. Am I talking too much? I'll follow you wherever you go. Yes, am I talking too much? No, no. All right, so. I feel like sometimes I'm talking too much. No, never. So anyway, we have different upbringings in this business. And, you know, I did brutal open mics. In the 90s, the open mic scene in L.A. was fucking brutal because comedy had died. Stand-up comedy had died in the 90s.

So you had just as many people doing it, but no prize. It was just so much harder to make it. Wow. Right? And so, and you would do these open mics and you in these alleyways at these dive bars or, you know what I mean? Or, and it was like, and also half of the open micers were homeless. Like you would have, you would be mixed in with the crazies.

You know what I mean? Like, hands putting shit on his face. What is this mic doing? This mic goes on. Yeah, yeah. Wow. And like, and so, and I, my path, it took, I went through some shit, you know? And so, you know, it just kind of, you know, and then when I'm with someone like Dave, I think he's one of the great,

greatest comics of all time of all time and so um it just made me yeah makes you grateful and realize where you come that was dumb to even say it out loud what are you kidding me no it was so no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no

I need to give me a minute to think about it. Put me on the spot. But it's, it is one of those things that everybody, no matter what you do, it's really important to assess your life and like take a bow and like go, fuck yeah, man, this, this happened. This is, but you've been in a situation where you walked away from it going, well, I can't believe I met that guy. Oh, meeting people. 100% where you kind of were like, I can't believe that. So give me one example. I'm sitting at a dinner party.

And Mike Myers, it's Mike Myers, Dana Carvey, and Lorne Michaels, and myself. Wait, that alone is it? By the way, this isn't even the meeting story. That's it. No, this isn't even the meeting story. What is this guy talking about? I was with, you know what I mean, the Prince of Egypt, right? The King of Ireland. What are you talking about? And that tells you like the level. Oh, so there's another level. Yes. It's about to go to a whole other level. You're at a restaurant. And it's us. We're having dinner. We've just screened.

Wayne's World for the 15th anniversary or something like that. So that's what it was for. We'd done it like at the Academy or whatever the hell it was and it was great. We had fun. It was great. And we go to dinner afterwards and it's just us. And up comes Paul McCartney. I've never heard of him. He's in the Beatles. I know, I love him. In the Beatles. And Paul says, what are you guys doing? And we said, oh, we just screened Wayne's World. He goes, oh, Wayne's World. Oh, what a classic. No. And I'm like,

No. Classic is Sergeant Peppers, pal. Not this thing. No, it is a classic. But like, I mean, I was like, Paul McCartney? Wingsworld's a classic? Did he shake his hand? That could make me cry. Yes. He shook his hand. Oh, yeah. I jumped up into his arms and cried. Are you kidding me? Made him carry me out of the restaurant. That's one of my favorite bands of all time.

Beatles? Yeah. I mean, you know what? I don't know, Rob. I don't know what we're going to do with this younger generation. I don't know. Are you down for Oasis reuniting, though? Yeah, I can't wait for that either. But my point is that... You're very sad now. I was at a Floyd Barbershop, and there was a trailer for the new Timothee Chalamet...

Bob Dylan movie. Yes. I go, oh, you could make a good Bob Dylan. And no one in the barbershop knew who he was. Come on. They knew Timothy. They didn't know who Bob, I, you know me, I stood up a bunch of times here. You know me, half midway haircut. I stood up and I went and I asked everyone in the fucking place that a single person knew who he was. Bob Dylan. How old were the people?

They're in their 20s because they have access to information and things that we never had. You know, back in the day, growing up, you had a set, you know what I mean, group of people that you got to choose from.

Right. Yes. You didn't have that. Now everyone's in competition. Yes. Even in comics, you know, a guy from, you know, Peoria, Illinois, he become a viral sensation. Right. And still stay in Peoria and do it. You know what I mean? That's right. My point being is, is that they have I think they have so much more access to things. And so they just decided somebody said, well, no, that's too old. I'm just going to do my thing, you know.

But I couldn't believe it. I mean, listen, that's your kids. Do they know who Bob Dylan is? You know, you're probably right. They they they I'm sure you know what? I'm going to just ask them because I just assume, of course, they do. But the truth is, I don't know if they do. They do, though.

Because I know friends of mine that know one of your sons, and he knows a lot of shit. Yeah, they probably do. Because the friends that I know that know him, they're close to him. They're friends from me that live in Malibu and stuff. And they go, yeah, your son, if your son knows half the amount of these guys that I know, then he knows everything.

He does. He definitely does. So, you know, both, both my boys are smarty pants. They're also cool. Thank you. Thank you. They are. They are. Shout out, man. They are. I'll give you a compliment, man. What am I supposed to say? You're the best, dude. What? I'm taking, I'm here for the compliment.

But listen, don't let it take me a long time to learn how to take a compliment. That's another part of being in sobriety. That's so hard. Isn't it? It's so hard. I can take negativity. I'll give you an example. 100%. Oh, yeah. I totally get this. I can get 100. I talked to my therapist about this. I go, I got one of those negative comments again. She goes, how many? I go, one. She goes, how many good things did you get? And I go, probably a couple hundred.

I mean, why would you focus on that one? Because they know the truth. Right. And the other ones are liars. Those other people are lying. So I have a new rule that I've set a year ago. My therapist says, reading any comments or direct messages, we're going to consider that a relapse. Yeah. So I go, what do you mean? He goes...

She goes, you're not reading any of it. Yeah, I like that. So I haven't read anything. I refuse. To me, if I do...

Because sometimes I'll go on my DMs and go, maybe a hot, because sometimes I get titties. You never know what you're going to get. And I love getting the titties. I get English titties. I get Turkish titties from all over the world, really. And sometimes vaginal shots. But it's like, but like one girl gave me her fallopian tubes. I'm like, I don't want to go all the way inside. I'm not a doctor. You know what I mean? No, she was like spreading it. Like, look at what's inside. I don't like that. You know what I mean? But titties are fine, everybody. Titties are fine. But so sometimes I'll like be curious, but I can now go through my DMs

And I can kind of tell what are titties and what are negative. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like because you can only read half of the message. So I'll hear, fuck you, you little piece. And then I won't read it. Oh, yeah. That's that's kind of. Yeah. That's a tip. Yeah. You little ching chong. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I don't read those. But anyway, I don't read any of them. Yeah. So it's a relapse. You don't read anything. You know, positive. Nope. I don't. I don't. Um.

Not online. And then there's a whole thing of like reviews, actual reviews, whether you read them or not. And my thing is this, you ready for this? Yeah. Ready for my hot take? Yeah. I only read the good ones. What, reviews? Yeah. That's a little different though. I only read the good ones. Send me the good ones. I'm sure there are bad ones. I don't want to know about them. Don't care. I do like the good ones. They make me happy. Send me the good ones. I'm glad you brought this up.

because it's something I wanted to ask you and I completely forgot. Yes, please. I'm rarely in big movies. In my life, I've been maybe a couple. You know what I mean? Of like, kind of like, oh, a lot of stars in it and stuff like that. You were in a huge one recently. Right. Huge. I shot that a couple years ago. Eli Roth directed it? Yeah, yeah. And I love him so much. What was the title of the movie? Borderlands. Yeah, huge. And so, you know, so now it's coming out. So I go to the premiere and then, um,

I'm watching it and I'm trying to like it. I like it. No, I really do. Like, oh, that's interesting. The colors. Like, I'm just focusing on things that are like positive. Look at the colors. Man, I've been there. You know what I mean? Oh, okay. Well, I liked the set. Yeah, yeah. And it was like, some of it was really cool action or whatever, but I made the mistake. I went on Rotten Tomatoes. Oh boy. And for 24 hours since the premiere, it was at 0%. Yeah.

And being an alcoholic, recovering alcoholic, and being as sensitive as I am, it became an obsession to see if it would go up. Above 0%. Yeah, yeah. And I think at four in the morning, it got to 3%. Oh, yes. And then I could sleep.

I go, that's not that bad. No. Right. I went to bed. But it's, that's the brutal part. And I'm sure people are listening going, oh, shut the fuck up. But it's like, there is, you know, you get the higher, that feeling. Your agent calling, you got it. Yeah. So you go, oh. And then the dream can start.

In your mind, you're like, oh, this is going to happen. This is going to happen. Right? Yeah. And then you show up and you get nervous because you meet everybody. All of us. Cate Blanchett. Hello. Madame or whatever. You know what I mean? Did you curtsy to her? Oh, yeah, yeah. And then like, you know, you. I bet you did. You curtsied to Cate Blanchett. Yeah, I curtsied to her. Right? I think I kissed her. I swear to God, I kissed her hand. You're like, she's English. I'm like, no, she's Australian. Yeah, yeah. All right. I went, nice to meet you, Madame. I kissed her hand.

I was there in Hungary for like a month, right? And then one day, like, Jamie Lee Curtis was like, hey, you know, you have your day off. Let's do, let's just hang out, right? And so, you know, you have that day that you will always remember for the rest of your life. Yeah, hanging out with Jamie Lee Curtis. Right, right. And then you do all these things and then you're,

And then the whole, before the anticipation, it was two years. So for two years, I would lay in bed and go, when this comes out, I'm going to get this. I'm going to get that. And then they're going to give me this. For sure. And then all of a sudden, I'm Superman. Yeah, but I was going to say, next thing you know, you're in Marvel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 100%. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean?

or something. Yes. Because there was an X-Men named Sunfire was Japanese. I want to play him. But my point is, so, and then it just comes out and there's nothing. Like no one, no one I know saw it. Nothing. Zero. Nothing. Nothing. It was the anti-nothing. It got zero. It was like a supernova. Yeah. It's such an interesting, have you been there, right? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Where you work hard on something and then it just, it's a blip.

How about this? When you work hard, you got a movie, it's out, you know it's not performing well, it's hanging in the balance, and you're out and people are like, oh, your movie came out. And you're like, did you see it? No, no, but I plan to. I'm like, well, you better plan to see it fucking tomorrow because otherwise it's going to be a bomb. You would say that? Yes. Yes.

I'd be like, how about planning for like the eight o'clock showing tonight? Yeah. Can you do that for me? Yeah. Throw a guy a bone. Now movies go so fast from release to straight over. Yeah. Yeah. Like two days sometimes. Yeah. It's crazy. Do you think, let me, let's, let's wrap up with this. Okay. We'll wrap up with this one. My wrap up is this. Let's take a good take a while, but. That's right. We got time. This is the state of show business in general. What do we, I want to go kill myself. No, no, no.

And I, in the last, I can see it. Now I can see it. And, and thank, thank God for Andrew. Thank you so much for starting my podcast with him. I mean, I mean, it's, it's a blessing, right? Yes, it is. I, you know, I'm so lucky, but, um, it's forever changed, correct? Forever. Now, here's the thing. You could, that is how it's been in entertainment for decades.

And I was thinking about this last night. I was thinking about this. I was like, console me. I'm sure that there are people like, oh, God, it's terrible. Now the entertainment industry. Now you there's a box they put in front of you and you're acting into a box. And then it's broadcast to something that you never see the people in. Again, it's called a movie camera. Wow. And it's going to be great. Like, well, yeah.

I'm used to vaudeville with this jug listen. And then it's like, okay, well now it's going to be television and people don't like it. It's just a moment in time where we haven't figured out exactly what it's going to be. And we're going through the pain of, of,

There are definitely going to be elements of it that are going to go away and never come back. And there's going to be new stuff that's going to come. And you just have to be optimistic about it. Here's my only negative thought I've realized recently is I go, why are there no hard comedies anymore? And like, and it's an open secret that I watched the Emmys the other night and they were laughing about the bear thing.

Being a comedy. Bear's not a comedy. It's not a comedy. It's not a comedy. Come on, guys. Please. Yeah. So where are the comedies? And they're not around. And when you try to make them, they don't really work. And I realize what it is. I'm the reason for it. How I consume it. I'm just like everybody else. I get it. If I want a hard laugh...

I'm on TikTok and I get the meme of they're eating the dogs, they're killing the cats. Yeah. It's the actual animals going. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like I'm looking at a thousand iterations of that and laughing.

And I don't need to commit to a half an hour show to get my laughs. Also, we have podcasts now like Bad Friends, the one I do with Andrew, which is sheer comedy. Yes. And we get to do it, you know what I mean, unfiltered. That's right. We don't have networks going, you can't say that, this and that. We don't give a fuck. We do what we think is funny. A lot of people don't like it.

it a lot of people don't like it but there's a swath of people out there many people that love it you know I mean so it's like yes you know we're unedited and it's funny that you say this because I've had a lot of meetings with networks and and production companies and also streaming places and you know they've asked me directly like what do you think we should do they don't know they don't they asked me

they ask dumb, dumb here. I go, I don't fucking know. But like, we don't know what to do. So I mean, what do you think? They go, we would think that we do two, $3 million comedies and films, you know what I mean? And you know, we use people from your ecosystem, you know what I mean? To maybe feel like, you know what I mean? They don't, we, I think people, especially with comedy,

They just don't know what to do. And I think maybe I just did a movie, like I said, in Montana, and it was like a $2 million, which is low for a movie. Yes, very low. It was with me and Jim Belushi. I love Jim. Yeah, I love him. I hope you're listening, Jim. Love him. He's been on the show. Love him. I love him. I'm about to cry. I love him so fucking much, that guy.

Leslie Jones, Lil Rel, and we did this movie. And it's not like a high-budget thing. So, you know, the trailers aren't as fancy, this and that. But we're all willing, you know, as performers to go, this is still a movie. It's still fun to do, right? And we're still laughing on set and, like, really enjoying the material. And, you know...

I can live with that. I can live with doing a lower budget movie where you're just with your friends. We'll see. You know what I mean? And, you know, and they're going to edit together and we'll see what happens. But like, I'm okay with that. I'm okay with not doing $30 million movies, you know, comedy movies. You know what I mean? Anyway, good night. Thank you so much for having me. That was amazing. Thank you very much. Bobby Lee. He's leaving. He's walking out. He's walking out. There he goes. That's amazing.

That is what I think the word rollicking was intended for, to describe. That was a rollicking interview. All over the place and a lot to unpack. I hope you go to a nice quiet place now, wherever you meditate, wherever you pray, and unpack what you just witnessed.

With the amazing Bobby Lee there. I promise you, you could listen to 150 of these podcasts and never get the journey we were just on with him. Thanks for listening. So much more to come next time here on Literally.

You've been listening to Literally with Rob Lowe, produced by me, Sean Doherty, with help from associate producer Sarah Begar and research by Alyssa Grau. Engineering and mixing by Joanna Samuel. Our executive producers are Rob Lowe for Low Profile, Nick Liao, Adam Sachs, and Jeff Ross for Team Coco, and Colin Anderson for Stitcher. Booking by Deirdre Dodd. Music by Devin Bryant.

Special thanks to Hidden City Studios. Thanks for listening. We'll see you next time on Literally.

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