Jimmy Kimmel: Mr Roboto-The Movie
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That's right. Discover automatically doubles the cash back earned on your credit card at the end of your first year with Cash Back Match. Now that's a real crowd pleaser. Everyone knows how it ends. Double the cash back. See terms at discover.com slash credit card. Hey, Rob. How you doing? Thanks for coming on, man. I'm psyched. The tables are turned and now you're in the hot seat. So look out. We don't even have a table. That's how much it's turned. I know. I love it.

Hello, everybody. Welcome to Literally With Me, Rob Lowe. This is fun. Jimmy Kimmel, he's just so funny, and I always love going on his show, and to have him come on my show feels really good. He's always been good to me on his show, and we have fun. We just have always connected, but we've never gotten to talk beyond a seven-minute segment, and that is about to come to an end. And here's the thing. If you're interested in the Academy Awards...

If you're at all interested in horrible music from the 80s, and by that I mean not just bad, I mean horrible music from the 80s, I think you're going to find some interesting nuggets in the conversation that is to come. I love long-form talks, don't you? Remember the old days when you could just do that? Yeah. Well, you know, talk shows were 90 minutes long when they started. You could really get into stuff.

All those old clips of Carson and people just shit-faced. People coming out drunk and smoking and just yammering on for quite a while, talking about people that the audience doesn't know at all by their first name. It was good stuff. I was at Chasen's with... Yeah, right, exactly. But then you get to know the restaurants and you feel like you're on the inside or something, you know? So good. Who was that?

Did you ever have any of the old school Hollywood guys like who, like Jimmy Stewart? Did you ever catch any of the, like the true icons before they passed? Yeah. I had Kirk Douglas on the show. Oh yeah. Of course, Don Rickles many times on the show. Yeah. He's yeah. Bob Newhart. Yeah. If you're talking about like some of the really older guys, a lot of musicians for sure. Tony Bennett. Yeah. Paul Anka.

We had Lou Rawls, you know, Lou wasn't that old. Lou was great. Lou always seemed old. He seemed old when he was having hits on the radio. You're right. You'll never find him. Like, what? You're 30. How great was he? He was great. Yeah. Nice guy. So you didn't have Burt Reynolds?

No, never had Bert Reynolds on. I'm surprised that you never had Bert. He kind of stopped doing talk shows at a certain point. Yeah. I think he got angry or something somewhere along the way. But he was one of the best ever. He was one of the best talk shows. The best ever. Well, you know the great...

I'm obsessed and is a host of the Oscars and the Emmys and one of the best we've ever had. You can appreciate this. I'm obsessed when they put you in the boxes right as you're about to win or lose something. And you can see all of the actors' faces in the category and my two favorite box moments.

were Burt's losing for Boogie Nights where everybody thought he was going to win. He thought he was going to win. This was going to be the right. And of course he lost. And his face couldn't, if he had a thought balloon, an actual thought balloon, but bing,

bing, like pop up video. It could not have been more clear. And it was like, I, I knew these guys would fuck me. What was the other one? Oh, without a doubt. It's, um, God bless him. My, my dearly departed best buddy, Bill Paxton. Um, when he was nominated for big love. Uh huh. And, uh, that was so big love was out and he was opposite a bunch of really great people. And, um,

What was the show? Dexter. Serial killer show from Showtime. Yeah. And what does that actress name when I think of it? Michael. Michael. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Michael C. Hall. Michael C. Hall. Michael C. Hall, who's great. And Michael C. Hall had bravely battled and won like a lymphoma battle. They shut the show down. Remember that? Right. So the show was off the air for a year, comes back and Bill's nominated and they're sitting there and he's got the box on him and they go.

And the winner is Michael C. Hall. And Bill turns to his wife and I can, cause I'm a lip reader. Clear as day goes, oh, the cancer card. Wow. Did anybody else pick up on that or just his friends? Um, it's,

It was kind of a thing. It was right before social media was what it is today. Because today, for sure. Oh, yeah. You don't get away with anything today. Oh, yeah. The cancer card. Oh, boy. Yeah. Lucky Michael. Yeah. Yeah.

He gets a statue. Bill was a great guest. He went on, um, uh, Leno for Apollo 13. And I, people, I like when people kill it on talk shows, whether in a good way, a bad way or weird way, because I'm sure, I'm sure you do. And he, he went on and he was, he was, uh,

trying to convince Jay and the Academy voters. He was clearly playing to the Academy voters. That was it. Couldn't give a crap about getting the audience to come to the movie. It was purely he wanted those votes for that movie. And he was like, God, it's Apollo 13, you know, the technology that went into putting that rocket up on. I mean, come on. It's the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. Ha ha ha.

I guess it didn't work. No, but he thought that was the way in. There was science in the movie. He didn't realize you just had to play the cancer card. He would have been fine. Oh, God. He was a nice guy. I had him on the show. Oh, he was the best. He was, he's one of those, do you have people in your life that you think about it? Well, I think about every day because he's my good friend and I miss him, but also he was so quotable.

I think the last thing he did was like a CBS procedural version of the great Denzel Washington movie where he played the cop and won the Oscar for it. Oh, okay. Training day. Training day. Oh, right. So they did training day. Right. Yeah, they did training day and they put Bill in the Denzel role and Bill had never done. Yeah, they were interchangeable.

You think of one, I often get them confused. And Bill had never done a network TV show as I'd done a bunch of them. And I was like, Bill, how's it going? He goes, I'll never forget. He goes, I got it, Rob. We're kind of making widgets on this one. I wish the scripts were better. And I thought, we're kind of making widgets on this one. Yeah.

That's a good one. Yeah, I got people like that for sure in my life. A lot of quotable characters. You must. My cousin Sal being at the top of the list. My cousin Sal, we went to Mexico a couple of weeks ago.

His wife, my wife, the four of us, we've been looking forward to this trip for six weeks. We've been literally counting the day each day. There was a text like 39 more days till we get to Mexico. Sal doesn't drink. And there are other the rest of us do. We get to Mexico. We're drinking cocktails. He orders like a juice of some kind. He gets sick, terribly sick, like doctor to the hotel in the middle of the night. No. Immediately. He misses the whole weekend.

And I paid for the hotel. So he really, really wanted to pay for like the meals, but he was missing for all the meals. So at the end of the trip, he I find a just a an envelope full of cash in my pocket.

In my car on the floor, he sent me a text. He's like, look on the floor of your car. And I find this envelope full of cash. Thousands of dollars. And I'm like, this is I don't want this money from him. This is ridiculous. So I wrap it up in a nice gift box and I send it to his son for his birthday. His son, Archie.

And his son's at the table with the cake and everything. And he's opening his presents and he opens this box and there's thousands of dollars in it. Right. And he's like, Oh, he gets nervous. He's like, what am I supposed to do? And Sal's like, Oh, that's you give me that money. Anyway, I got a text from Sal this morning. He's at the, um, I have an account, which is one of the greatest things that's ever happened to me. I have an account at the grocery store on the corner. Um,

So I don't actually have to bring cash in. They bill me once a month. He's given this huge wad of cash to the guy who owns the grocery store. He sends me a picture of him and the guy who owns the grocery store with all the money. So I guess I'll be getting eggs for the next like 13 years now for free. That makes you feel like you're living life. You know, when you have like, you have it wired on that. Like when the maitre d's have your table ready for you.

or you have a thing at the grocery store, you feel like, you know, you made it. For sure. But this is kind of more of an old-timey thing, I think. I think this is something that, you know, I know like my grandparents had this in Brooklyn growing up where you'd go to the butcher and you knew the butcher. And then you, you know, you'd pay the butcher whenever you got paid. You know, it was one of those things. You didn't actually shell out the cash while you were there. And I love that. I like old school stuff. I know you do. You kind of are a throwback that way, right? I do. Yeah.

Very much. Do you still wish gentlemen wore hats? Are you one of those guys? Oh boy. I would love to wear a hat. I was looking at hats online just yesterday. And, but what I've learned at 53 years old, if there's anything I've learned, I've learned only a few things, but one of them is I never looked good in a hat. I'm okay in a baseball hat, but all other hats, I always think they look great, especially in the store. I think that I really look good in this hat.

And now I've accumulated a huge box of hats because...

It's great if you're on vacation because my wife will be nice enough not to make fun of me while we're on vacation. But as soon as we get back home, she's like, you're not wearing that hat here. And then I'll wear the hat into work. And everybody's like, oh, my God, what are you wearing? And I've spoken to Cedric, the entertainer, about this because he's able to wear any hat he wants. And it looks great on him. But for whatever reason, it does not work for me. I have a theory about it, too, is like.

You know, they say John Kennedy killed the hat. You know that, right? Have you heard this? He did? Yeah, that Cary Grant killed the undershirt. Oh. And John Kennedy killed the hat. So Cary Grant took his shirt off in a movie at a time when all men, all of them, wore undershirts. And Cary didn't have an undershirt. And that was the end of...

The end of it. Wow. Has anyone looked into the possibility that the sniper in Dallas was a hat maker? Haberdasher? A haberdasher? I mean, that's the obvious connection. I think. Because Kennedy stood up in the freezing cold in his inaugural and noticed there's people storing top hats in that photograph. What do you think the age you can hit?

for you it'll probably be like 130 because you'll still look great when you're 100 but what do you think the age is where you can start wearing a hat and it's okay because i do think there is an age and i think it might be associated with baldness where that's that's right that's what i was getting at is kennedy was a great one and i say there's all respect to parted wonderful president a huge narcissist and had amazing hair and he's like what the fuck am i this is

It's the moment of my lifetime. I'm not covering up this amazing head of hair I have. It's not happening. He did have great hair. Yeah, you're right. I'm telling you, that's why he wasn't wearing a hat. What do you think Reagan didn't wear a hat? Although he does have that famous picture of him with the cowboy hat at a really jaunty angle. Because then you get into angles. It's not just enough to wear a hat. You got to figure out, are you going to pull off the Redford hair peeking out through the front move? Right. Right.

The Ron Howard real low. Which just got lower as the years went on. Or the old guy move, which is to literally just place the hat atop your head. It doesn't even, it's not like even a weak wind will blow it right off your head because it's just barely sitting on there. They're wearing it almost like a yarmulke. Yeah.

Yeah. Yamakal, you are a white guy, aren't you? Yamakal. Yamakal. We'll put an L at the end of it. My uncle Yamakal. No, I'm nothing if not highly white. There's no getting around it. Yeah, the hat game is, it's a tough thing. Do you have that thing that I do where you, what do you think when you see a grown man carrying or on a skateboard?

Well, I think I have a different opinion of it now than I used to. I used to think it was an indication that they were a crazy person. And then maybe I went through a period like, oh, he's trying. Look at him trying to be cool. And now I'm of the mindset that.

especially since like, I think Tony Hawk was on my show almost like 20 years ago. It's like, yeah, these guys have been skateboarding their whole lives. So like, it's like, it's like shoes to them. And you know, I do this and I don't know if you do this, but I wear the same kind of sneakers that I wore in high school. I can't wear like the Kanye, the cool sneakers that look like NASA designed them. I have to wear like the Stan Smith or the, you know, the classic Nikes with just the stripe on the side. Do you do vans? Uh,

No, no Vans for me. I don't wear Vans. You didn't grow up in California, though. Exactly, yeah. Well, I grew up in Las Vegas, and there were definitely people who wore Vans, but I was just not one of them. I didn't wear Vans. But I feel uncomfortable and dumb in anything that seems modern, shoe-wise.

It's so interesting what you can pull off and what, remember Kangol hats? Oh yeah. Sam Jackson. Sam Jackson. Yeah. Who's the only guy who should wear them.

Right. For sure. I could never do the Kangol. Yeah, no, you shouldn't. I mean, listen, if you walked onto my stage with a Kangol hat on, it would be the subject of the whole rest of our conversation. I know it really would be. Now, just wait. Just wait, because it's going to be, hey, Jimmy, how are you? And I'm going to have, I'm going to be Kangoled out. Hold that thought. We'll be right back.

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Qualifying plan required. Wi-Fi were available on select U.S. airlines. Deposit and Hilton honors membership required for 15% discount terms and conditions apply. You know, here's what you need to know. Do you know that going on your show is the—we're talking about clothes—is it's one of the hardest decisions I ever have to make is what to wear. It's easier to go to the fucking Oscars than to go on your show. Really? Why is that? Because it's like—

You know what you're going to, at the Golden Globes, obviously you're wearing a tuxedo, you know what you're going to do. Right. Your show, you always look so good in your suit. It's late night, it's night, which, you know, it has, it's a certain thing if you're dressing for the evening. Right. I would, I would posit it's even a different thing to be dressing for late night. And so you're faced with, do I go really cool club, like out on the town club vibe? Yeah.

date night ending night cool thing or do I go you know adult suit like you know you so I think when you make multiple appearances which you have you mix it up you know that way I don't get it keep the spark alive between us you know I don't guess I don't take you for granted like my dad wore a suit to work every day and

That's how we'd see him leave for work in the morning. And that's how we'd see him come home at night. But then on the weekends, he looked terrible. I mean, just terrible. And I'm convinced that part of the reason he looked terrible is because we're used to seeing him in a suit for five days a week. And then when we saw him in his V-neck T-shirt with the yellow stains underneath and a pair of shorts and like those big white dad sneakers that dads wore in the garden and probably still do, he looked worse than...

The typical guy who might be wearing that very same outfit. What if I came on in, like, the worst flying outfit? Worse than I would actually ever wear myself, but as a bit, like I did, like, the mesh, like, University of Michigan, old school, down to the knees, shorts, and flip-flops. Oh. Would that be a thing? Like, as if I...

Like a hip hop mogul from 1997 type of deal. Yes. Like maybe even with slippers on some kind of slippers on socks perhaps, but they're really expensive slippers. I think, I think maybe that's what it is, is I just come on now and have you, you have to guess what I'm, what bit I'm trying to pull off. Interesting.

Interesting. I try to guess after you've come out or I try to guess before you come out. Like, I know I get a heads up beforehand. No, no, no. You take a gander at me coming around the curtain and you have to immediately go Rick Rubin.

a 1990 Hanalei Bay out to lunch at the vegan delivery place. I would love to do that. I would love to do that. You know, my old partner from the Manchurian, Adam Carolla, he is so bad at, like, he'll wear like a, and I'm not joking when I say this, like the tuxedo he had for his wedding,

Like the next week he was out painting in it. Like he had the, still had like the pants on. Why would he do such a thing? Because he's just too lazy to like take something into the dry cleaner and they're right there. And he just put them on and he just continue about his business. And so we got to the point where, you

You know, we used to call him in at the last minute a lot. And we got to the point where he never knew what to wear. So we did. We bought him a suit and just kept it here for him. So when he came, he had something to wear. But the result was him wearing the same suit and the same shirt like his first 19 appearances in a row. So if you ever go back and like look at, you know, like you want to look at a tape of something that happened years ago, it's like he's wearing the same clothes every single time. So his uniform.

Well, you thought, and that's the other thing. There are guys that, you know, Steve jobs, the mock turtleneck. I like that whole thing. I mean, I don't like the uniform turtleneck. I don't like, I like the idea of the uniform. Do you have a hard time? I here's where I have a hard time. This is what I thought you were getting at. I have no problem with super casual. Like, you know, I've got plenty of jeans and t-shirts and whatever, and I have no problem with the suit because it's easy. You get in the suit and here's a tie and everything always kind of matches and

But I have a problem with the middle stuff. Like if my wife says like, hey, we're going to a dinner party and it's like around Christmas time. It's like, oh, my God, what the hell am I going to wear? I don't know what to put together. And I just need help with the middle. It's the middle that I have a terrible time with. Well, because that's you can.

You can make huge mistakes right there in the middle. Sure you can. Really big mistakes. And can I tell you what I think the big mistake is? For me? What? Sport coat. Really? Yeah. I feel like now I'm feeling like maybe it's a mistake for me and I just don't know it. I don't. Aye, aye, aye, aye with the sport coat. For me. I mean, it's like go suit.

or boldly go without. But the minute you kind of half it with the sport coat, I think you instantly look like somebody's dad, which of course we are. Yeah. Not only, not only are we, we both have kids old enough to start having kids. We could, we are, could actually be granddads at any moment. So who are we? Who are we to judge? 30 this summer. Yeah. So we probably, maybe sport coats are the answer, but what is the answer though? What, I mean, what do we do? It's, it's like, you can't win. I mean, I come out,

Of the closet. Am I? I come out of the closet. We've made news. Jimmy came out of the closet on my show. I come out of the closet. Woefully heterosexual. I come out and I go, I just don't.

I don't know what to wear. You got to come in here and help me. And then my wife will help me and I'm not convinced she was right. And then, you know what I do? And this is embarrassing. I have to say that sometimes I look at other guys at an event and I go, oh, that's how you're supposed to dress. I'm going to try to remember that for next time. But then I never do. I think that's a perfectly fine way to do it. I here's what my wife does. And I don't understand this is I'll.

Same. I come out and go, do you like this? Do we think this works? And Shirley would be like, you know, great or no. But if she's in the middle but then can't decide, she says this, who makes it? Oh. And I'm like...

Like if I tell you it's JCPenney and, and you're going to say one thing, but if I say it's Gucci, you're going to say another, but it looks the same. JCPenney. Yeah. I'm sure your closet is filled with the Tigra shirts, the T Kensington jeans, Kensington. Uh, but,

But that's a way you could start thinking about it. You could just purely go by like, you know, how highfalutin the designer is. Yeah. And then, you know, I'm fat and it's like a whole thing. And I don't know. I think I'm just going to stay in. That's the thing. That's what I'm going to do. Stay home. Because this whole quarantine has, I don't know, it really, I used to have no problem going out to dinner three times a week. And now I go out once, I'm wiped out.

And I don't know why it is. I'm just out of, I don't know, is it like a muscle or something? An eating muscle or staying up muscle or something that you're supposed to have. But I went out to dinner last Monday night and I've been trying to recover all week from it. I'll tell you exactly what it is. It's the stimuli, the stimuli, stimulus. You don't realize, we don't realize as a culture how much stimuli, stimulus we're getting thrown at us.

Out at a restaurant, it's just it's noise, it's talk, it's people, it's proximity, it's energy. And we haven't had it for a year and a half. And all of a sudden we realize, holy shit, that's a thing.

Yeah, I now understand some of these people who don't like to go anywhere. And it's always like, really, is that terrible to go and have a conversation with people who are your friends? And I'm kind of getting it now. I don't want to get it, though. I resist it. I don't want to be one of those guys. But I do understand it more. I also think it's an age thing. I mean, I think that there are certain things that are age appropriate and

You know, as we learn what we like and we have our lives, we've built the lives that we want. And, you know, it's like we our world gets and I don't mean this in a bad way. Our world gets smaller. Like I I certain things I used to want to do. I won't wait online anywhere for anything, period. I don't care. I won't do it. Not doing it. There's just certain things I'm not doing anymore. So and and the world gets a little bit smaller, but it gets better. Does that make any sense?

Yeah, it makes a lot of sense. I don't know about the better. I think maybe better. You think it's better. I don't know if it is better because.

you don't have as many experiences. And I think volume of experience is probably good. I mean, I find myself listening to the same music and like, I'll allow one new album into my brain per year, you know, otherwise it's like, what's on the eighties channel. Let's go to classic rewind or my yacht rock mix. Bro. Let's okay. Yacht rock is first. I remember the first time I, I feel like I was the last guy ever to know that to hear the term.

Yeah. And let me ask you this. Do you remember commercials in like the 80s or 90s? Yacht Rock, a collection, a CD collection of Yacht Rock, and they would show just kind of footage of people on the on the ocean yachting. And then you'd hear like the sounds of.

You know, of course, Kenny Loggins and Michael McDonald and all those songs that are associated with. Do you remember that at all? I do. Because I can't find any trace of it online. None. I do remember that commercial. But did they call it? Did they actually call it Yacht Rock?

That's what I remember. And I just remember that term being very familiar when it resurfaced and thinking, oh yeah, Yacht Rock, that's right. Oh, that's funny. Like those old CDs. And then, but now I can't find the CD. I feel like I may have imagined it. I think it might've maybe, cause I had not heard it. I was really shocked. I thought it was the greatest idea for a musical sub genre that I'd ever heard. If you have to pick...

I think Ambrosia is probably... Oh, I love Ambrosia. I listen to Ambrosia at least three times a week. Same. That's how much I feel for you, baby. Oh, yeah. Ambrosia and You're the Biggest Part of Me. Yeah, I love that stuff for sure. My wife doesn't. My wife does not. She's had enough of it because there are only like...

There were only like 28 good yacht rock songs. It's true. My wife hates it. My wife hates... We might be married to the same woman, sounds like. Is your wife's name Molly? Yeah. My wife Cheryl hates... She thinks that I like pop music. She's like pop, bubblegum, which I do. I'm unapologetic. I do. But I also like other stuff, but I love a good...

bubble gum hit that's what i was raised on that's what was on the radio same here yes i am i have an ability to identify any pop song from the 80s within one to two seconds of it beginning same okay seriously let's make remember this and have a competition on the show i would love to do that yeah we'll have to get a third party because i can sometimes do it from the first snare hit can i tell you this is a story i never told anybody before

I, I, I want a couple of times I went to Gary Shanley's house for those basketball games that he used to have when I was dating Sarah Silverman. She, she'd bring me and I, there was an eighties like TV station on his satellite or something like that. And he had it on.

And what he had me do is I sat with my back to the television. So I'm sitting like, oh, my back is almost touching the television. And I would wait for each song to start. And I would name it immediately upon beginning. And he just thought it was the greatest thing he'd ever seen.

It was a weird trick. I do it once every four minutes and he got a real kick out of it. Let's do that. That will be because I honestly think it could be a blood sport between the two of us. I would love to. Yeah, we'll set it up. We'll get buzzers. We'll do the whole thing.

We'll have to do it on your podcast because it's too expensive to do on television. I've wanted to do it on television. You can't even do the four note thing because we're going to get it within four notes. It's like, it's like $5,000 for every song. Jesus. Yeah.

Okay, we're going to do, we'll do a special podcast. Yes, okay. Of you and I doing this. All right. And let's think about our years. Because I would, for me, I would like to go back, I would do 72. Oh, wow. Wow, okay. Yeah, all right. So you're, yeah, see, I was only five and 72. See, that's it. We're different. So it's, okay, so, but you've got to negotiate me. I need a little,

What's the latest you would be willing to go in years? You mean the earliest? Earliest, I mean. Yeah. You know, honestly, I would be very bad at... I mean, I know the songs from the 70s, but not in that way. Okay, so it's just 80s then. Yeah, although I feel you're at a disadvantage right off the bat. No, no, no, no. Listen, I was stoned for half the 80s, so it's like my guess is I'll probably know...

That's the difference. We are both in the 80s and paying attention. I was for sure getting more fucked up than you were. So I'll know the songs, but you'll actually know the titles. Yeah, I will. I would love to do that. I would. I was too young to be getting all messed up. So those titles.

You don't know. Okay. See what I'm saying? Oh, you do know. Yeah, right. I do know. You've got a built-in excuse is what you're saying when I destroy you. By the way, I don't want to scare you off, but I had a guess the lyrics contest with Huey Lewis about Huey Lewis songs, and I beat him 10 to nothing. Oh, my God.

It's hip to be blank. It wasn't quite that easy. We got deep into the cuts, you know? No way. Yeah. Okay. Well then this is perfect. And on the way in here, I heard on the 80th station, the song, which I was reminded has to be.

has to be the worst song ever recorded by anyone ever wow this is a hill i'm super i'm super willing to die on this can we try to figure this out i can tell you what it is oh no don't tell me right away don't tell me let me guess a little bit it okay give me the give me the year range

I know it's 80s, but like, is we're talking early 80s? Because there was a lot of weird stuff happening in like 1981 on the radio. The top 40 was a mix. I would say...

It's late, early 80s. Okay. So we're talking about... Pre-84. Pre-84. Because 84 was the best year of all these for music. Escape by Rupert Holmes? Oh, that's a fucking iconic genius song, Jimmy Kimmel. Oh, you know what? I didn't mean the Pina Colada song. I meant, no, him. Oh, him. It's a horrible song. Him, yeah. Oh, it's horrible. Yeah.

Oh my God. Him. Him. Must be him. It's so bad. The Billy McIllotta song was such a good song. It kept, it, it gave life to him afterwards. Yeah. That was a bad one. We built this city as a song I don't enjoy. Can I stop you there? Yeah. I think if you Google this subject,

We Built This City has somehow been named the worst song ever. I don't get it. I like that song. Oh, really? I do. I think it was seen, first of all, as a musical betrayal by a previously great band. I think that's part of it. I think that...

It is a very, very bad song is another part of it. And you know, it's also, it panders to radio and in a way that was off putting. Well, now you're making me rethink it. Yeah. I, but that's not for me. It's not even in the first hundred of bad songs. Wow. Okay. Tell me, tell me what it was. Cause we'll never, it's, it's a major group. This is not a one hit wonder. It's not even, it was not Rupert Holmes. Yeah.

It's not Al Stewart. Major. Early 80s, major group. Hmm. I don't know. There's a lot of them. I think I'll take up too much time thinking. Okay, then I'm going to give you the group, and you're going to get it. Okay. Sticks.

Oh, Mr. Roboto, a song, a terrible song that I happen to love. Wait a minute. OK, you love Mr. Roboto. Yes. Which I think is 100 percent the worst song ever made by anybody ever, period. Yeah, I would see. I think I would feel the same way if I was like, you know, 17 when that song came out. And but when I was, you know, really still into robots, you know, it was kind of a cool song.

You were still into robots. Yeah, Mr. Roboto is... I believe that broke up the band, that song. Yes, and justifiably so. One guy... Because I heard one of them talking about this on Behind the Music, and I guess the deal was...

You know, one guy wanted to keep writing stick songs and the other guy fancied himself, you know, wanting to do his quadrophenia. Right. Or Tommy. That's what happened. Yeah. Or the wall. Definitely quadrophenia. I think he was going for that. And was like, and I want it to be about the automatization of the human mind. But get it, get this. He didn't write it.

He made that guy who didn't want to write it, write it, which is why it's so bad. Oh, wow. Interesting. You want a song about a fucking robot? All right. I have a soft spot for that song also because many years ago,

when I was doing the man show, my cousin Sal again would just suddenly put that song on and he would jump up on the desk and do a whole robot dance routine with these other two guys. And none of them are the kind of guys that you'd ever expect to see dancing in any situation. And they did the full song. They had a whole routine worked out to it, including some synchronized robotry. And, uh,

And it was, you know, we always loved it. But that's amazing. That would make me love the song, but that's an unfair connotation that you have. Yeah, I know. No, I know that objectively, I know that it's a very bad song, but I think there are a lot of songs like that that people go like, I know it's a bad song, but I love it. Kill Roy.

Kill Roy. You know, when they wrote that and they put that down, they're like, this is so fucking heavy. Kill Roy was here. Like that's, I mean, like it ties it all up. It brings it together. Have you ever thought about, I mean, you're in the movie business. You can get things made up. Could it be possible for you and I to join forces and make a feature film out of that song?

Well, I think we've come up with so many bits for your show at a minimum. Mr. Roboto, the movie. If we don't do Mr. Roboto, the movie together, I am the modern man. Secret, secret. Secret, secret. The vocal stylings are so insane. Secret, secret. I've got a secret. Over and over again.

And I'm not sure what the secret is. If you had a secret, why would you be going around going, secret, secret? I've got a secret. It's like, oh, all right, we're going to choke you until you tell us. And they clearly outsourced the robot. His brain is IBM. Oh, yeah. But his skin is made by some other company in it.

But his heart is human, I think. His heart was human. And his blood is boiling. Yeah. Boiling blood, going through a human heart can't be a good thing. No. I'll tell you the other song I hated. You know what? And the two common things with these songs is they have delusions of grandeur and aspirations of some other piece of business. Like it's a song, but it's a song for an opera.

And this was going to be that chess one night, one night in Bangkok. Yeah. Now, do you remember there were two versions of that song put out, one by Murray Head and one by Roby? And Roby was a woman who was very attractive and it was clearly just for the music video. And Murray Head, I think, was in the play, Chad, the musical. Yeah.

And so he had a hit with the song on the radio, but they came out at like almost the same time. And I remember seeing because we couldn't afford MTV. We had a local video music channel on UHF and Roby was on and like she was wearing like kind of a very loose shirt. She was very sexy and she was singing that song. And then suddenly it was also on the radio with a different guy singing it. And I look at the Roby thing. I don't remember Roby at all.

Yeah, I'd kill you at this game. This wouldn't even be. I mean, come on now. You don't know Roby. This is not good. And we'll be right back after this.

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Hey, what's the billboard record on your wall there? I'm just noticing, but I can't really see it.

This is, I'm in my friendly neighborhood studio in Santa Barbara. Oh, I see. Okay. It's my spoken word album, Jimmy. I don't know why I thought you'd have, you had a full recording studio in your house, but I guess it makes sense that you might not have that. I mean, you know, if this show does just even fractionally better, I'm going to build my own in-house studio.

recording studio. Your wife will love that. I kind of like just get it, even though it's like only seven minutes away that just the, particularly during COVID of getting in my car and driving. Like I actually have a job to come do this. Oh yeah. That has got to be nice. Right? Yeah, sure. That makes sense. It makes me feel like it's more real than it actually is. Yeah. We were doing the show from my house all summer and it was kind of terrible. Um, there were some nice things about it, but, uh,

It was really weird to be in the house all the time. And then like the weekend comes and you're still in the house. And I was getting a little crazy. I was just like, we have to go. A couple of times I just went and drove around. Yeah.

Where was the house when I came in and co-hosted your show? We did it in that house. We rented that house, yeah. You rented. That was not your house. No, that was not my house. That house had very interesting vibes. Did you ever go to that house? Yes. Actually, that's a house that a friend of mine owns, and it's kind of a party house. Kind of? Yeah. It's very much a party house. It's a party house and a place where people work out of in the daytime. Yeah. I had like...

Post-traumatic stress walking in, I was like, oh, yeah, I think I've been here with Judd Nelson. I think it was owned by like Gloria Swanson or something like that. Some old movie star, yeah. Somebody like that. I had fun. I had fun doing it. It's hard. I remember it was hard doing a monologue with no guests. With no audience. Not guests, but no audience. Well...

If it makes you feel good, one of our head writers, Danny, said you were the best host of the summer. Come on. Yep, he did. He loved you. I love hearing that. I had so much fun. Yeah, everybody enjoyed having you. It was fun. How long do you see yourself continuing? I know you've talked about there's been rumblings that you've done. You've done it for a long time. Well, the thing is, each time I sign a contract, I am certain that this will be the last one. So I never really want to...

You know, each time I think it's going to be the last one. So as far as I'm thinking right now, like, yeah, this is the last one. But I also know now I know myself well enough to know like that I might change my mind. If it ever comes down to the big, long, drawn out, milked Jimmy Kimmel goodbye coronation.

Can I sing wind beneath my wings and cry to you at the desk? That would be beautiful. Absolutely. I think it would be beautiful. Or you could pick a song and I won't know what the song is and I'll try to guess it. And then you'll say, no, I think we both know it's going to be fucking Mr. Roboto. Yeah.

This is your final, final episode. We got to do Mr. Roboto the movie. I mean, it's just... We have to. We should almost edit this out. It's such a good idea. We...

No, Peter, this is, this is, we're, we're, we're getting the audience ready for it. Yeah, you're right. We're going to lay claim to it. We're going to get the rights. Let's get the rights before you put this on. We don't want this stolen by, you know, Colbert. Anyone for that matter. All right. Forget Colbert. I'm worried like the major, you know, I'm worried that Disney's going to steal this from us. Not when they hear the song, they'll be like, we're not, we're not doing this.

You know, it's funny. Once J.J. Abrams was on the show, and he loves Jeff Lynn and ELO. Oh, me too. Who doesn't? So ELO was on the show, and I said, you should come to the show tonight, you know, and either performing in our outdoor parking lot. He's like, oh, great, great. I'm going to come to the show. So he comes to the show, and we're looking at the album, and I was just like,

this album looks like every movie you've ever made. He's like, you're right. It's like, that's, yeah, it's kind of weird. It's a weird, like artistic influence in a different art form from a musician to some kind of imagery. I thought it was very funny and a nice little realization. You were, you were probably still too young, but when star Wars came out and I was a kid and it came actually came out in

For the next seven years, every commercial had a Starfield in it. Every commercial. He was selling cars, coffee makers. Everything was in space. Really? Everything. You know, my Uncle Frank, whose photograph is behind me right now, took me to see Star Wars when it came out. Well, I shouldn't say when it came out. He took me to see Star Wars like seven months after it came out, after every kid in my school had seen it three times.

And so he took me and my cousin, Ann, and it was like middle of the day. I'm sure it was probably in the discount movie by then. We went to it. And of course it was great. And we were like, oh my God. And I looked over at my uncle Frank and he was just sound asleep through the whole movie, fell asleep almost immediately, slept through the whole movie. And then at the end, we're, you know, I think we're clapping. We're like only two in the theater and uncle Frank, that was boring. Yeah.

You were sleeping. How did he know? He didn't care for it. Question for you. Are you seriously the honorary mayor of Dildo, Newfoundland? I am. How did this come about? Well, you know, my sense of humor has been described as highbrow. Yes. Dry. You know, there are certain things that tickle me. Your show is the Algonquin Roundtable. Yes.

Dave said that has been said that has been said. Yes. And it came to my attention that there was a town named Dildo in Canada. And I enjoyed this. And I started I decided to run for mayor. I found out they didn't have a mayor and I decided to become mayor of the town. And for about two weeks, it's all I talked about. And then I had a big plan to go there.

And I was going to go there last summer. They have these dildo days. It's like a festival there. Oh, man. And then COVID hit and I was unable to go there and kind of it screwed the whole thing up. But I am going to go there sometime. And they've also they told me I can have they've given me a plot of land. It's a very small plot of land, but it's like enough for like me to park my RV on because I think I should have property there.

And I'm hoping I don't know if this would get me like dual citizenship or what, but I do want to spend some time. I think of them as my people. Well, no, and nobody can accuse you of being a carpetbagger because you actually have land there. That's right. And I bought them a sign much like the Hollywood sign that says dildo that they put up in the hills.

So it's something for people to go see and take pictures with. And actually, weirdly, like their tourism increased by some like huge multiple people started going there. Just because it's a beautiful town, but it's named Dildo, you know? I think that's the greatest thing. That's one of your greatest accomplishments. Forget hosting the Oscars and your long running show and all that. Tell me about the Oscars. What was your...

What's your takeaway from the Oscars after hosting the show? Yeah, it's it's like being at a wedding. You weren't invited to. It's like you're part of it, but you're not really part of it. You're the hired help. It's kind of like being the DJ at a, you know, at a graduation or something, you know, and yeah,

Except for I think I made more as a DJ at parties when I was in college than I did at the Oscars. That's the thing that people don't realize is they don't realize it's not a particularly paying gig. It's funny because it used to be a thing where like, yeah, it's great. You know, a lot of people see you and it's a great opportunity and this and that. But.

The truth is now it's just like it's an opportunity to have your life torn to shreds, to have people like rummaging through your the garbage of your your existence and pulling things out and and attacking you. And and then afterwards, like if you do a great job, you get like, OK, that's about it. But if if there's even a moment, I mean, by moment by moment, you get people like looking at.

You're I'm not talking about just myself. I'm talking about any Oscar host. You know, you like they'll be doing a monologue and people are commenting on each one of their jokes as you go. And like, is this the way to watch something? Is this the way to appreciate comedy? You're writing about what you're hearing as you're hearing it. I mean, like you wouldn't write a movie review like that, would you? Your laptop out. You go on these websites, these and it's like 12 or 3 p.m. Kimmel tells a joke about Harvey Weinstein.

It bombs. Yeah. Right. It's like, that's like, that's the thing. 12 Oh 3 PM. Now what it's like, it's insane. It's not even, it bombs. It's not even as objective as that. They don't even, the response of the audience is not sufficient. It's how they, how it hit them. Not, you know, they can hear everyone laughing and it, and decided that it was not a good joke. Also the, you know, the more at the beginning of the night, everybody's a winner, a potential winner in the audience. Right.

So but you start getting categories start going by and now people have lost and realize their movie doesn't have any traction or whatever. And then it's got to be even harder to make people laugh. Tense and disgruntled. But I will say I'm just honestly, I mean, without joking, it's like those doing those Oscar shows and the Emmy show that preceded it. I did the Emmys and then the Oscars like three months later.

are some of the things I'm most proud of doing because we really, and I say, I am speaking on like about our writers and our producers. Like we put so much work into it, but you know, when you do a show every night, you're, you're doing a show every night. You can't, every show can't be a hundred percent.

It just can't. It just doesn't work that way. If you can get it to 85, you're doing really well. But for us, we wanted that one to be 100. And unfortunately, at the end of the first one I hosted, they had the wrong envelope. So it made it, it created the impression that something that, you know, the Oscars was some kind of a disaster when the truth is it was going great until the very, very end of the show. And by the way, and it's not,

On we can argue about whether it was a disaster or not, but in your fault, a lot of people didn't understand that or they willfully didn't understand it. And I do find myself every once in a while in an interview having to explain the person like, well, you realize I had absolute. I had just as much to do with that as you did. Right. Well, I was sitting in the I was in the audience when that happened. I wasn't even backstage. There's literally no way I could have.

Been involved in that every year when the Oscars come out, they do top 10 embarrassing Oscar moments. And I'm always number one still. Always. Always. We got to help. We got always somebody to do something to topple that. Oh, maybe I have a great idea. Whoever does whoever when we get nominated for best song for Mr. Roboto. Yeah. Whoever sings that will probably beat you.

Well, if they just sang the song straight, they should. But see, but what I want to tell these people is like, look, when I did my song and dance number with Snow White, I want to say, first of all, Marvin Hamlisch wrote it. Right. I'm 22 years old. Oh, wow. Whatever I am. What am I? The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. Right.

Isn't that funny? What am I supposed to say? You guys are idiots? Yeah, well, it turns out, yeah, that's what you're supposed to say. I mean, that's funny. When do you realize, when in your career did you realize, oh, maybe these people that I assumed really know what they're doing don't actually know what they're doing? Was there a moment? That was one of the big ones. Really? Yeah. Well, yeah, I guess that would be. That was one of the big ones. And I say this, I say, how is it that I'm not,

If not at the top of the list, near the top of the list, when the Oscars can't even figure out how to get the right envelope into the right people's hands for best picture. And I'm the problem? What the hell? I would have thought that would have been the end of it. No. Maybe because it was Warren and he's so beloved. He didn't do anything either. And he was smart, man. He was really smart because he wouldn't let go of that envelope. When we were backstage, people were like, oh, yeah, let me have that envelope. Let me see. And he's like, nope.

If you want to look at the envelope, I'm holding it right now. Go ahead and look at it. And I saw it and it said La La Land. It said Emma Stone on it. You know, he read what was on that envelope he was given. It was confusing because it also said Emma Stone and it was best picture, but yeah.

I know one thing. What exactly did happen? What happened was this. It's a little bit complicated, but Emma Stone, one actress, it would have to be complicated to to have happened. If it were simple, it wouldn't have. There's there are matching envelopes on each side of the stage. That way, the producers don't have to figure out in advance of the show where the entrances are going. If they want to, if they cut for time or whatever, they want to have the option of

of bringing the stars out from either side of the stage. So there are two matching envelopes that say best actor, that say best actress, that say best picture, et cetera, all the categories. Well, what happened was they didn't skip to the next envelope on the left side of the stage.

So when it came time for Best Picture, they handed Warren Beatty the envelope that said Best Actress. That was for Best Actress. It doesn't say it on the envelope, just says Oscars on the envelope. And he went out and that's the one that he read. Wow.

And Faye Dunaway was the smartest of all, because when it happened, she got the hell out of there. She made a beeline for the back and she was gone. It was a Warren was being interrogated. We will be presented together. Warren was being interrogated for like an hour after the show. And Faye Dunaway was already at the In-N-Out Burger on the corner by her house. You know, she was gone. See, this is why.

I didn't take Charlie Sheen up on his offer one year when I was giving the Emmy to Best Comedy Actor and Charlie was nominated. And I hadn't talked to Charlie in years and years and years, even though we grew up together. And I'm driving to the ceremony. I'm in the tuxedo. Phone rings. It's Charlie.

Hey, so why you're doing my category? I go, yeah, because, you know, the odds in Vegas of me winning are 20 to one. I go, yeah, I know it's going to be Alec Baldwin again for sure. And he's like, so here's the thing. I'm going to put a bet down that I win. You read my name. I'll give you half the money. And I was like, what? He's like, we will. You and I will make ten million dollars in one night.

And I go and I laughed it off and he called me. He was dead serious, by the way. And I was like, Charlie, if I read your name, but it says Alec Baldwin, what are we going to do about the envelope? What are we going to do about the card? And he was like, I'll make a ruckus and everybody was in and then you eat it.

I ate it. I actually did that. I went, I, I had that very thought. I went out on stage at the Emmys one year and I said, you know, I can read any name I want right now. I don't have to read the name that's on this card. In fact, I could eat the card if I did. I ate the card and everyone laughed. And then I announced the winner, but it, you really could do that. The problem is, is that when they figured it out,

I mean, if he's betting that kind of money, which I don't think you even can bet on an award show. I think they have limits on that because there are people who know. But if you're betting that kind of money, I mean, somebody's going to at least break your legs afterwards, if not kill you.

I don't think he thought it that far through. Yeah, maybe not. Well, that seems to be a recurring theme in his life. I mean, I thought it was. And then it was, well, can you hold it up to the light and see the name? And then I could get a bet. It was all that kind of crazy. No, you can't do that either. Yeah.

But see, it's so funny that it just is something as simple as there's a stage manager forgot to move the envelope. That's what it is. Yeah. No, in this case, it was the accountant. It wasn't the stage manager. It was the accounting firms keep tight grip on that sort of thing. And it was a guy who weirdly looked a lot like Matt Damon.

And who knew he was he knew he was responsible, but he wasn't so quick to say it backstage. He let he let Warren kind of simmer for a while. He let people because at the beginning, people are like Warren is getting up there. Warren made a mistake. That's probably what happened. That was the theory going on. I was just kind of like, well, that's a weird mistake to make. I mean, that's a really that's an awfully specific mistake to make.

There's a great photo. Busy Phillips is a friend of mine, and she was there with Michelle Williams, who was nominated there in the front row. And there's a great photo. Have you seen it of people's reactions? I think maybe I saw it a couple of years. Oh, it's so good. And people are like covering their face, their mouths. By the way, that's what Barry Levinson looked like in the audience when I was singing to Snow White. He looked exactly the same.

I was in the audience too when it happened. I didn't know what was going on. And I have one more bit to do with Matt Damon. And he goes, something's going on. And I was like, well, what's going on? It's saying something. Why is the stage manager on right in the middle of the stage? And he goes, I think they read the wrong winner. And I go, huh? And he goes, I think you better go up there. Really? He's like, yeah. I was like, yeah, I guess I do have to go up there. I'm the only one who's mic'd. I mean, I didn't know what was happening, but...

I had to go up there and mediate, I guess, or tap dance until they straightened it out. That's, I mean, that's Oscar history. Yeah. I mean, like enough with the streaker behind David Niven. Enough. Enough. Enough, which I'm convinced was staged. You think so? Oh, 100%. You know why? Why? Because they just too, they, it's just too facile and quick, the cropping.

Oh, I see. Okay. The camera angle is like preset to not show anything offensive. Ah, interesting. There's no fumbling for Jim. I just, I call bullshit on that. You mean it was just shot too well? Shot too well. Yeah. I mean, the minute he was there, he was on camera.

The minute, not like what's going on. What's the, Hey, what, what, what camera three camera two. Oh, there it is. None of that. It was like, boom. And perfectly cropped not to offend anybody. I'm like, eh, it's a bully. Even as a six-year-old in Ohio, I was like, eh, it's Hollywood bullshit. You're very cynical. Six-year-old.

Well, this has been so fun. When, what writer are we going to put on this Roboto thing? Or we still want to even give that away at all. I think we got to bang this out ourselves. I don't know if we can trust this to anybody. I agree. This has to be a,

A real cone of silence. I think so too. Yeah. Should I try to crack an outline and get it over to you later? Every time. Oh, when we go in to pitch it, we'll go secret, secret. We have a secret. You cannot find out until we tell you, until we tell you.

I'm so glad. I really think this is going to bring the movies back. This is going to be the thing to do it. It is. No streaming theaters only. No, if, if ever there was anything meant to be experienced communally, it's the Mr. Roboto movie. Yeah. Kill Roy. Kill Roy.

I hope there's somebody out there who's never heard the song or heard of this song who now is going to listen to it and experience it for the first time and think of us. And can I tell you no matter what it, again, like I said, this hill I will die on all day long.

As bad as I'm saying it is, it's worse when you listen to it. You can't believe it's a real song. Yeah. I mean, it's no hymn. I think we have the slug line for our poster. You can't believe it's a real song. Or a live season or movie exclamation mark. Wait, here's the real question. What are we going to do about billing? Are we going to go what they call towering inferno billing?

Well, I don't think anybody's going to be interested in me being in it. I think I'm going to have to be like a behind-the-scenes guy. Oh. I mean, I would love to be in it if the director feels that it's... I mean, I think...

Well, I would listen. Believe me, I'll be happy to be in it. But I have a feeling you get the starring role and I'm like, like the technician, like we, you know, we need more circuit boards. Johnny, go get them. And then you just see me run off and maybe see a little bit of my ass. We need the circuits. The worst song in history is now a major motion picture. Oh, that.

Come on. I actually, by the way, I would act, I'm not kidding. I would watch that. If that were, wouldn't you watch that? I'd watch the hell out of that. Absolutely.

All right. I'm calling my people. Okay. Yeah. Call your people. I'm calling my people. And hopefully I'll see you soon with an audience. Yes. I'm looking forward to seeing what you're dressed in and all of that stuff. Yes. 100%. Thank you. This was so much fun. Thanks, Rob. That was fun. I enjoyed it. Secret, secret. We've got a secret. Thanks, Jimmy. Take care. This show is over. It's over, over. You can almost do it with anything.

Right. I think I'm leaving. I'm leaving, leaving. You can do with anything, really. I think I'm going to that's stuck in my head. How many of you are right now going to try to listen to that awful song? A lot of you are. And I wonder if I hear from Styx. How cool would that be? I think it'd be cool, actually. Guys, that was so fun. I this is the part of doing the podcast I like where I just get somebody on and we just bro out and have fun and

talk crap and I could have done that for another hour all right it is time for the lowdown line hello you've reached literally in our lowdown line where you can get the lowdown on all things about me Rob Lowe 323 570 4551 so have at it here's the beep

Okay, our names are Anna, Kaya, and Mahi. We're from Atlanta, and we want to know if you could go back to the past. In hindsight, what role would you stop yourself from playing? Aw, you guys are interesting. Come up with that for me. From Atlanta, my favorite city. I'm going to say, what role would I stop myself from playing? This is a good one. I've been stumped by a trifecta of gals from Atlanta.

Stymied. Struck wordless. I never really wanted to play Youngblood. I did. People like it. I don't think it's that. Look, OK, I'm just going to go with this. I would stop myself from hosting the MTV New Year's 1985, 86. One of them I hosted and I was still drinking heavily. And I told them that by the time I was on on the Western time zone, I'd be drunk.

It's New Year's Eve. They're not paying me enough not to party. And of course, by the time it got to and I just found a picture online of Martha Quinn and I. These, by the way, from the sound of your voice, you're not going to know who any of these people are. You guys sound youngish, but they're the original VJs. You know what a VJ is? They don't even know what that is. Do you know what MTV is? OK, they used to. You're ready for this. Hang on. MTV music used to play music. Yes.

Once upon a time. And, and, and that New Year's Eve was the biggest, it was even bigger than Anderson Cooper's New Year's Eve. It was that big. That's how big it was. Um, anyhow, any who, um, it was before anybody cared about anything. And I think people liked that. I was kind of like, welcome to 1983 to one. They were, they were counting down. I was still doing some dumb speech they wrote for me. So I'm going to go with that. I would have, I would have jumped in front of myself and said, um,

Why don't you let somebody else do MTV New Year's 1986? Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it and come back next week because we got more fun up our sleeves here on Literally. You have been listening to Literally with Rob Lowe. Produced and engineered by me, Devin Tory Bryant.

Executive produced by Rob Lowe for Lowe Profile. Adam Sachs and Jeff Ross at Team Coco. And Colin Anderson and Chris Bannon at Stitcher. The supervising producer is Aaron Blairt. Talent producer, Jennifer Sampas. Please rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts. And remember to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever you get your podcasts. This has been a Team Coco production in association with Stitcher.

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