188. “She makes 2x but wants me to treat her” Nate and Serena return
I Will Teach You To Be Rich
Deep Dive
Why does Serena feel stressed about Nate owing her money for the trip?
Serena feels stressed because she wants a clear plan for when and how the debt will be paid back, as it leaves her with a sense of uncertainty and loose ends.
Why does Nate feel that he can't give Serena a straight answer on when he can pay her back?
Nate feels he can't give a straight answer because his financial situation is unstable, and he needs to see his paycheck and credit card bill to know if he can afford to pay her back.
Why is Serena's response to Nate's financial stress about going out to dinner not ideal?
Serena's response is not ideal because it puts pressure on Nate to either split the check or decline, causing him to feel like he's groveling to her for financial help, which is stressful and affects their relationship.
Why does it feel like a cruel joke to Serena that she can now afford nice things but Nate can't?
It feels like a cruel joke because Serena has recently moved into a higher-paying job and can afford to go out and do nice things, but Nate, despite his future earning potential, is still in a financially challenging situation, which creates a disparity in their ability to enjoy joint activities.
Why does Nate feel he has to grovel to Serena about money?
Nate feels he has to grovel because he often has to ask Serena for financial help when he can't afford something, which is emotionally and psychologically difficult for him.
Why is Nate's high future income not a silver bullet for their financial issues?
Nate's high future income is not a silver bullet because just making more money doesn't solve underlying communication and emotional issues around finances. They need to address how they talk about and feel about money.
Why does Serena find it hard to consider paying a more proportional share of rent?
Serena finds it hard because it's not a natural inclination for her to think about Nate's financial burden, and she has grown up with a transactional view of money, which makes it difficult to shift to a more emotional and supportive perspective.
Why is the way Nate and Serena currently split their rent problematic?
The current rent split is problematic because Nate's fixed costs represent 97% of his take-home pay, leaving him with no financial wiggle room and causing stress, especially when it comes to covering other expenses.
Why does Serena wish Nate would treat her more often, even though she makes more money?
Serena wishes Nate would treat her more often because it's an emotional gesture that makes her feel taken care of, which is important in their relationship, regardless of who has the higher income.
Why is it important for Nate and Serena to communicate about money in a less judgmental and more empathetic way?
It's important for Nate and Serena to communicate about money in a less judgmental and more empathetic way because their current approach causes stress and arguments, and they need to build a strong foundation for their financial and emotional relationship.
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