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cover of episode Want To Capture The Magic? Do This | Impulse Control

Want To Capture The Magic? Do This | Impulse Control

2025/4/15
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The Daily Stoic

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德国圣诞市场袭击者,沙特阿拉伯裔心理医生。
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Ryan Holiday
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Ryan Holiday: 我认为,当事情变得困难,或者我们知道事情会引发艰难的对话或生活中的改变时,我们就会想出各种理由不去做。当我想到治疗时,我想,我该如何使这件事尽可能容易呢?无论是连续预约一堆预约,还是远程进行,这样我就不用开车去某个地方了。我想消除借口。 我花了十年时间努力让马库斯的作品对人们真正有所帮助和实用。我们甚至出版了自己的《沉思录》版本。但我们也花了成千上万个小时,不仅研究他的著作,还与最优秀的专家、翻译和斯多葛主义学者合作,以帮助理解他的意思以及他的著作对我们有什么帮助。 反复阅读《沉思录》可以获得新的理解,这就是为什么我们会制作我认为是阅读和理解马库斯·奥列留《沉思录》的完美伴侣。 如果有什么让你心烦意乱,把它写下来,然后看看它。发生了什么事?是谁造成的?现在想想你的反应。你说了什么?你感觉如何?这使情况变得更好还是更糟?马库斯·奥列留皇帝显然有很多让他心烦意乱的人和原因。他也有真正的权力和权威。 即便如此,我们发现他会告诉自己:你拥有掌控自己思想的力量,而不是外部事件。意识到这一点,你就会找到力量。你所经历的事情也是如此。你无法控制发生的事情,但你可以控制在事情发生后你会遵循哪些冲动。 你可以这样思考:你是一个老人,你不会再让自己被奴役了,不会再像木偶一样被每一个冲动牵着鼻子走,你不会再抱怨你目前的命运或害怕未来。对我来说,写日记就是这样一种控制冲动的绝佳方式。 我通常在早上写日记,但你可以在任何时候写日记。但我认为,你有什么不开心的事?你为什么生气?你在执着什么?你内心深处真正想对那个人说的话是什么?先在纸上说出来。安妮·弗兰克谈到纸比人更有耐心。有时我发现,我写下来的东西,我还没有完全想明白。如果我按照我在纸上思考的方式说出来,那不会有什么好结果。 或者我发现,说了一次之后,我就完成了。我不需要向任何人提起这件事。最好还是保守秘密。所以对我来说,写日记确实是一种解决这些冲动的方法。仅仅因为你想到了某件事并不意味着你需要说出来。你需要培养这种情绪冲动控制能力,但这并不意味着你只是把它压下去而不去处理它。你必须在日记的页面上处理它。这就是这个想法。 你把它释放出来。这是一个进行一些精神战斗的地方,但它也是你思想、你相互竞争的冲动、你相互竞争的观点相互对抗、为有限的空间而战的地方。所以花些时间进行日记疗法。这就是它的用途。如果你没有利用它,你很可能只是把这些感觉发泄在 其他人身上,或者发泄在自己身上。这不是一种很好的生活方式。所以把日记当作一种控制冲动的工具。它一次又一次地让我摆脱困境。我能想到一个时刻 我的其中一本书要出版了,我被一个记者狠狠地坑了一把。我甚至都不想再说是被坑了。让我们这么说吧,有人对我做了一些非常不道德、非常卑鄙和令人恼火的事情。实际上,《每日斯多葛学派日记》中的提示抓住了我。就像连续三个提示一样。我没有急于说些什么。我要等几天。三天结束时,日记结束时, 我把它留在了心里。即使现在,我也没有必要告诉你具体情况。我已经过去了,它让我省去了很多麻烦,可能还让我避免了无缘无故地树敌。然后我就可以继续前进了。我希望你也能做到。

Deep Dive

Chapters
This chapter explores practical ways to overcome obstacles to therapy, emphasizing accessibility and affordability. It highlights Talkspace as a convenient virtual therapy option and encourages listeners to utilize it.
  • Practical steps to make therapy easier (scheduling, remote options).
  • Talkspace is introduced as a convenient virtual therapy provider.
  • Listeners are offered a discount code for Talkspace.

Shownotes Transcript

Translations:
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Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to The Daily Stoic early and ad-free right now. Just join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.

I think when things are difficult or we know things are going to lead to hard conversations or changes we have to make in our life, we come up with reasons not to do them. When I think about therapy, I think, how can I make this as easy to do as possible? Whether that's like scheduling a bunch of appointments in a row, whether it's doing it remotely so I don't have to get in my car and drive somewhere. Like, I want to eliminate the excuses that

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and no extra cost. You can even talk it out between sessions by sending messages to your therapist. And most insured members have a $0 copay. As a listener of this podcast, you'll get 80 bucks off your first month with Talkspace when you go to Talkspace.com slash stoic and enter promo code space 80. To match with a licensed therapist, go to Talkspace.com slash stoic and enter promo code space 80 to get 80 bucks off your first month and show your support for the show.

Welcome to the Daily Stoic Podcast, where each day we bring you a Stoic-inspired meditation designed to help you find strength and insight and wisdom into everyday life. Each one of these episodes is based on the 2,000-year-old philosophy that has guided some of history's greatest men and women, help you learn from them, to follow in their example, and to start your day off

with a little dose of courage and discipline and justice and wisdom. For more, visit dailystoic.com. It should be the easiest book in the world to read. It's only, depending on the translation, a couple hundred pages, which are made up of short passages, making it easy to read in small increments. It's written in a straightforward and accessible style without any complex philosophical jargon.

Unlike most books, there's no pretense, no performance, no intent to impress an audience. It's filled with topics that are universal and relevant. Dealing with tough times, being nice to people, waking up and getting to work even when you'd rather stay under the warm blankets. And yet, so many people struggle with and get frustrated by Marcus Aurelius' meditations. And they have ever since it was first discovered after the emperor's death nearly 2,000 years ago.

Just as we can imagine the first reader of meditations trying to make sense of the private thoughts of this great man, today people have questions about where to start and what to take from it.

What translation should I get? Should I read it cover to cover or is it better to approach it in bite-sized pieces? Do you read it once or multiple times? Where did Marcus write it? Why did he write it? Did Marcus mean to come off so dark or dour? Is it important to know about Marcus's circumstances? Who he was writing for? What he meant? Do you need to know the core principles of Stoicism to fully appreciate meditations?

We've been working hard here at Daily Stoic for the last decade to try to make Marcus really successful and practical for people. We even publish our own edition of meditations. But we've also spent hundreds and thousands of hours, not just with his writings, but also with the best experts and translators and students of Stoicism to help make sense of what he meant and what he can do for us.

Getting to the bottom of meditations is the work of a lifetime. And as Marcus would say, of any great work of art, you get something new each time you go to it. Well, that's why we've been putting together what I think is the perfect companion for reading and understanding Marcus Aurelius' meditations.

It's this new daily stoic meditations guide, like a book club or an annotated version of your favorite book. It's designed to be your personal roadmap through the nuances, subtleties, and complexities of Marcus Aurelius and meditations.

Whether you've yet to journey through the pages or you're intimately familiar with them, this awesome course will enhance your reading experience, deepen your understanding, and show you how to apply the same stoic principles and exercises that Marcus Aurelius used to improve his life to improve your own.

It's not spark notes or a summary. There's no substitute for reading meditations. It's not a shortcut, but it's a guide that will help enhance your understanding, help you really get everything you should get out of it, and hopefully guide you not just to read it once, but time after time after time. I'm really excited for you to check it out.

Go to dailystoke.com slash meditations, click it in the show notes. And also I would say, if you haven't read Meditations, do grab our edition. We sell it in the Daily Stoic store, the Gregory Hayes edition, but I added some awesome graphics to it. There's a biography of Marcus in there. It's leather, so it'll hold the test of time well, and I'll link to that in today's show notes as well.

If something is making you upset, write it down and look at it. What happened? Who caused it? Now think about your reaction. What did you say? What did you feel? Did this make it better or worse? Marcus Aurelius's emperor clearly had many people and causes to be upset. He also had real power and authority.

Even so, we find that he would tell himself, you have power over your mind, not outside events. Realize this and you will find strength. So too with what has happened to you. You did not control what happened, but you do control which impulses you will follow in the wake of it.

And this is this week's meditation in the Daily Stoic Journal titled Impulse Control. I do hope you check out the journal. It's a little journal I do every morning. We have three quotes here that go along with it. Epictetus says, We must discover the missing art of ascent and pay special attention to the sphere of our impulses, that they are subject to reservations to the common good and that they are in proportion to actual worth.

It's Marcus Aurelius' Meditations, 1137. I just love that you have Marcus Aurelius quoting Epictetus. You say good fortune used to meet you at every corner, but the fortunate person is the one who gives themselves a good fortune. And good fortunes are a well-tuned soul, good impulses, and good actions. That's Marcus Aurelius' Meditations, 536.

Frame your thoughts like this: you're an old person, you won't let yourself be enslaved by this any longer, no longer pulled like a puppet by every impulse, and you'll stop complaining about your present fortune or dreading the future. To me, journaling is just such a great way to do this exercise of impulse control.

I usually do it in the morning, but you could do journaling at any time. But I think, what are you upset about? Why are you angry? What are you holding on to? What's that thing inside you that you really want to say to that person? Say it on the page first. Anne Frank talks about how paper is more patient than people. Sometimes I find that the thing that I was writing down, I hadn't quite worked it out yet. And if I had said it the way I was thinking on the paper, it would not go well.

Or I find that having said it once, I'm done. I don't need to mention this to anyone. It's probably better that I keep it to myself. So to me, journaling is really a way to work out some of those urges. Just because you think something doesn't mean you need to say it. You need to develop this emotional impulse control, but that doesn't mean you just stuff it down and you don't deal with it. You got to deal with it on the pages in the journal. That's the idea.

You let it out. It's a place to do some spiritual combat, but it's also a place for your ideas, your competing impulses, your competing opinions to battle themselves out, to fight for that limited space. So spend some time with your journalized therapy. That's what it's there for. And if you're not taking advantage of it, chances are you are just taking those feelings out of

on other people or you're taking them out on yourself. And that's not a good way to go through life. So use the journal as an instrument of impulse control. It's gotten me out of trouble time and time again. I can think of a moment

One of my books was coming out and I got sort of royally screwed over by a journalist. I wouldn't even say screwed over anymore. Let's just say someone did something to me that was quite unethical and quite petty and annoying. And actually the prompts in the Daily Stoic Journal, it caught me. It was like three prompts in a row. I didn't rush into saying something. I was going to wait a few days. And at the end of the three days, at the end of the journaling,

kept it to myself. And even now, I don't need to tell you the specifics. I've moved on and it saved me some headache, probably saved me creating an enemy for no reason. And then I can move on. And I hope you can do the same.

Hey, it's Ryan. Thank you for listening to the Daily Stoic Podcast. I just wanted to say we so appreciate it. We love serving you. It's amazing to us that over 30 million people have downloaded these episodes in the couple of years we've been doing it. It's an honor. Please spread the word, tell people about it. And this isn't to sell anything. I just wanted to say thank you.

If you like The Daily Stoic and thanks for listening, you can listen early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. And before you go, would you tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey on wondery.com slash survey.

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