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cover of episode Revisited: Why Awkward Is Awesome with psychologist Ty Tashiro

Revisited: Why Awkward Is Awesome with psychologist Ty Tashiro

2025/3/25
logo of podcast A Bit of Optimism

A Bit of Optimism

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Simon
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Ty Tashiro
专注于研究和理解社会笨拙,展示了如何将导致社会焦虑的特质转化为异常成就。
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Simon: 我自身就是一个社交笨拙的人,这让我对Ty Tashiro的研究非常感兴趣。他的研究表明,社交笨拙并非全是坏事,甚至可以转化为优势。我个人在社交场合中会选择独自站立,观察周围的人,虽然看起来很笨拙,但我自己却很自在。在约会等方面,我也曾因为社交笨拙而感到困扰,并尝试通过一些方式来弥补。 公开演讲时,我能够表现出色,但这并不代表我不再社交笨拙。因为在舞台上,我处于主导地位,不需要主动与人互动。而下台后,别人会主动与我交流,我只需要被动地回应即可。 我尝试通过观察社交流畅的人,学习他们的社交技巧,并进行练习,例如控制个人空间距离和眼神接触时间。但我也意识到,强迫自己去不擅长社交的环境并不可取,不如选择更适合自己的环境,例如小型聚会或与一两个人进行深入交流。 我发现,引导对方说话,让他们多谈论自己,往往能获得更好的社交效果。而与另一个社交笨拙的人相处,则可能会导致更加尴尬的局面。 Ty Tashiro: 我从小就是一个社交笨拙的人,我的研究也源于自身经历以及对朋友的观察。我发现,社交笨拙的人往往具有同理心,并且能够注意到那些正在挣扎的人。 社交笨拙与内向外向之间存在一定相关性,但并非绝对。社交流畅的人拥有社交技能,而社交笨拙的人可以通过学习和练习来提升这些技能,甚至可以达到以假乱真的程度。 社交笨拙与非凡成就之间存在关联,因为对细节的痴迷能够促进持续努力和最终取得成功。社交笨拙的人具有独特的视角和思维方式,这对于创造力和创新具有重要意义。 青春期社交笨拙的增加是由于对社交期望与自身能力之间差距的认知。而坦诚地承认自己的社交笨拙反而可能获得他人的欣赏。 社交流畅的人可以学习社交笨拙的人的耐心、毅力以及同理心,学会慢下来,关注周围的人,并给予帮助。

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A Bit of Optimism is on hiatus this week, so we’re revisiting one of our favorite conversations! In this episode, Simon talks with psychologist Ty Tashiro about social awkwardness and why being awkward can actually be a superpower.


Awkwardness gets a bad rap. But being awkward is often an indicator that someone has extraordinary.

Psychologist and author Ty Tashiro has spent a great deal of time studying (and living!) social awkwardness. He's fascinated by how the same traits that cause us social embarrassment can also drive exceptional accomplishment. 

As a fellow awkward person, I was delighted to sit down with Ty and discuss the competitive advantages of social awkwardness, and how sometimes what society labels a weakness turns out to be our greatest strength.

This...is A Bit of Optimism.

For more on Ty and his work check out: 

his book, AWKWARD: The Science of Why We're Socially Awkward and Why That's Awesome)

tytashiro.com)