Dr. Drew Pinsky | Club Random w/ Bill Maher
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The thing I said about wearing black velvet vests. Yes, yes.

Do you remember what you thought at the time? About your pants? Yes. About your appearance with us. I feel like I need to ask this question about like... I don't remember the pants. I remember you being there, but I don't remember the pants. Of course you don't. But why would you remember my pants? Because they were black velvet. Because you're still embarrassed about it. We make these... How old are you? I'm 63. 63. You look good for 63. You look good for your 60s. Well, it's so funny. I'm going to blow a joke in my...

act, but I don't care. Bears repeating, but it is my act. Comics hate it when you, it's called an illegal spritz, but it came from something I really thought and said, which was, you know, when people say you look great, the subtext is, the unannounced word is, for your age. Right.

If I was 32 and I walked in, you'd be like, oh my God, were you in a fire? What happened to you, dude? Yeah, yeah. But that's all you can do. I mean, you can shave as...

What do you think? Five to seven years by moisturizing and eating right? Some of it is not looking older than you should, right? Being wrinkled up. But a lot of it is just having a certain amount of vitality and youthfulness in how you feel about yourself. Now, here's something I...

put forth as a theory that if you have a lot... Is a youth product? No, I would never smoke that. But if you have a lot of sex, as we were talking before about your lovely sex life, you live longer because the DNA in your body...

feels like this is a person who is recreating the species a lot, so we need to keep him alive. Now, this is a theory I am basing on absolutely nothing but what I pull out of my ass. I love it. But I want to believe it. I want to believe it too. It fits with... Well, if we want to believe it. No, it fits with evolutionary theory, right? If somebody's effectively surviving and reproducing, nature would go, well, that's probably...

That's what I say. I just can't believe I got you to sign on to it. Listen, it's so funny you would bring this up. I've never said this to anybody, but...

Ernest Borgnine was being interviewed on the Today Show. I swear to God, this has a payout, I promise. Kids, use your Googles to find out who. He was 94 or something and being interviewed on the Today Show. And they asked him the question, my God, how do you look so good? And do you know what he answered? I masturbate all the time. Really? That's what he said on live TV. Ernest Borgnine at the age of 94 said I masturbate all the time. Masturbate constantly. And I thought, well,

Well, that's interesting. Maybe he's on to something. I think he was lying. You know, they went around a couple times because they were like, oh, he's kidding. No, no, I'm quite serious. I know, but I'm only 66. I say only compared to our new sport. Yeah. And...

I've slowed down from... Oh, sure. The 60s is when you slow. But have you talked to Captain Kirk? William Shatner. William? He's amazing at his age. About what? Cognition and vitality. And what do you ascribe that to?

The fact that he can pull it off? Yeah. Why is he so healthy? Well, the genetics. I mean, it's really when you get right down to it. Genetics play a role. I feel like genetics is a little overhyped compared to lifestyle. It's always germs and genetics. Yeah. And I think...

I think they are out of proportion to what it really is more, which is, you know, how we live. Well, which is, you know, don't drink poisons, which we're doing tonight. Right. And exercise regularly and watch your diet. I drink so, compared to how I used to drink, you know, I always say to the kids today, you know, when like you're 30, your body's almost too good. Almost too good. Because the fucking beating you can give it. Yeah. And not pay. Yeah. Yeah.

See, we pay. Why are we so careful now? Because we know the price in long-term health and just tomorrow or that night or, you know, it's just not on the menu. How about just not getting a good night's sleep? I'm just destroying the next day. Exactly. That was never like that. You know, I needed, for some reason, here, answer this as a doctor. Yeah.

I usually sleep pretty good, although it may take me 10 hours in bed to get eight hours of sleep. That's okay. I know what you mean. But I get it. I'm lucky. Most people are not that lucky. They have to get it with an alarm. I'm lucky, and I appreciate it. But I went to Jacksonville a couple of weeks ago. I did Birmingham, woke up Saturday, my normal time, 11 a.m.,

Flew to Birmingham, Alabama, did a show. Flew to Jacksonville, Florida, where I was playing the next night. Never slept. That night, all the next day, did the second show in Jacksonville on no sleep. Couldn't even sleep on the way back on the plane. From the moment I left L.A., two cities, two shows later, I never slept. Why? Is that something where your brain just forgets how to turn off for no apparent reason? Did you go to bed and just respite and couldn't sleep? Yeah, just, and I'm not...

I have some nights like that too. They're almost inexplicable sometimes when they occur. I'm saying it's like my body forgot how to just turn off. And sometimes I think there may be some sleep in there, you're just not perceiving it. That could be. I think that's part of it, but it certainly is not quality sleep. But it was a good test of whether I lost my marbles. Because, you know, as you age, you wonder, you know. But to be able to do that second show on no sleep,

and not fucking up. Good for you. Well done, man. That's a deal. I hope you didn't give me COVID and diphtheria and I'm fucking with you. I've had COVID twice. I'm with you. Twice? Twice I had COVID. Did you have it twice? No. No. I had Alpha and then I had Omicron. Oh, Jesus. It was awesome.

Were you suffering either time? Alpha was rough. Before the vaccine? Yeah. I was trying to get the vaccine, and I got sick. Long story. So was it, compared to a bad flu, what was it? It was way worse. Way worse? It was nasty. Yeah, I had a moderate to severe case. And monoclonal antibodies turned it around. Like, instantly. It was unbelievable. I mean, that first...

The thing when it first came out had sharper claws. Yeah. Look, it was a rough, horrible thing. It's a horrible illness. There are lots of horrible illnesses. This was one of them. It was horrible. It's not that horrible anymore. No. Omicron was... If you have natural immunity and or good vaccination status...

Omicron was nothing. And I saw a hundred cases. What I keep saying just on an anecdotal level is that, I mean, I can read the statistics of there are a couple of thousand people still dying a day, or there were as of whenever we're showing this, a week in February. So, uh,

Okay, everybody, I know so many people. I'm sure I got it and didn't know I had it, which is the case for most people. Okay, but how could it be that everybody I know who had it, vaccinated and unvaccinated, has said it was nothing. It was like a hangover. I had it for five hours. It was a cold. And what is it? It tells me that if there are still people dying from it,

It's such an unhealthy country to begin with.

that even this mild thing can take you out. It is people who are, it's not exclusively, I've seen idistrincratic cases where Omicron has been pretty nasty in a young person. I've seen it. But for the most part, it's the risk population, it's the elderly, it's people with multiple medical problems. That's who is tipped over. They were always tipped over by infectious diseases of all kinds. Of course, and everything else. That's my whole thing is that, you know, unless we get

into our heads that the people have to participate in this battle. We'll be in shit. This is just the beginning. It'll always be something. And the answer will never be to like, okay, you have to just meet us halfway. If we're this unhealthy to begin with, any little thing is going to cause a panic.

and make us live crazy lives, masked and tested every fucking week. It's just like, come on. We've become histrionic. We've become hysterical as a country. It's very intriguing to me. Where did this come from? I've started to read more books about crowds and manias and madness of crowds and stuff because it's so uncanny to me. What was the thing at the beginning of it? Didn't you say something that they lost their shit about? First of all, I was saying I could see the panic coming.

I could see that what they were doing in Wuhan was what the journalists were pointing at and saying, we have to do that. And I thought, why? Literally, I had a local news broadcast for the first year of COVID. And when they decided to close the schools down, I brought a school board person. I said, who told you to do that? What doctor decided that? No doctors. We think it's the right thing. It's like, what did they do?

do that with any other issue it'd be like johnson local election see what the communist party and what is their policy i'd like a position we need to make sure we follow it exactly or maybe exceed it exactly and so there that was going on and so i got i became hubristic i i overstated i kept saying calm down stop it don't listen to these people and at the time that was just right it was just right but it was too much i said too much and

And I missed how infectious it was and how brutal it was for some people. You told the truth. I know that's irresponsible. I know. And I was crucified for it. Yeah, there's so much crucifixion. You saw...

I don't like that. I don't like this is crucified. I don't either, and I don't agree with her, and she had just attacked me, and I still am going to defend. That's the whole point of free speech. But it's also the point of being intellectually honest. You don't like cancellation. You think it's a bad thing, and it gets everybody. Don't think you're going to be excluded from cancellation. I don't like it for her. I don't like it for you. I don't believe...

She apologized and... Effectively. I don't... It's just, it's like, it's so communist. We make you kneel. Yeah. Or if you know the story of King Henry IV, the Emperor Henry IV, who had to kneel in the snow at Canossa. Do you know that from history? You're not a historian. I am a little bit of history, but not just British history. Well, it's often, you know, referred to as the height of the power of the papacy in the Middle Ages. Right. It was 1077. Yeah.

And the Holy Roman Emperor, the big dude in Europe, I forget what he did, but he pissed off the Pope. And the Pope made him travel to his country house in Canossa, Italy and kneel in the snow.

for four days and nights. And he was the emperor. Yeah, make me. Yeah, I don't believe Whoopi meant that. She's on an opinion show. And it's her opinion. It's a crazy, fucked up opinion. Yeah. You know, and I'm half Jewish. Me too. Oh, really? We escaped the Ukrainian genocide, which a lot of people don't even know about.

Do you raise your kids Jewish? No. Oh. I mean, a little bit. You said it like, no. A little bit. Of course not. I'm like, you nuts. I'm Jewish. What's your wife? She's Czech Goy. Why'd you slap her eyes when you said that? Because it's sort of my habit. But what religion?

She was really sort of Protestant, you know. Sort of Protestant. I mean, it was loose, loosey-goosey, like with me. But definitely not Jewish. Definitely not. In fact, I thought she was for a long time. Was she a shiksa goddess to you? Oh, yeah. Well, but I didn't really...

I don't like clubs. Although I like Club Rand. Hey, I'm sitting right here. What do you mean? But I don't like things where people are excluded. It really bothers me. I couldn't agree more. Yeah, and that's what bothered me about... Especially when it's me. There's about to be a hit piece on me in L.A. Magazine.

because I made a piece. I said an issue about, I made an issue of the vaccine passports, like, excluding people. I don't like that. And especially African Americans who have been mistreated by my profession for 200 years. They don't trust us. They shouldn't trust us. Because of that distrust, you're going to exclude them from a restaurant? That's not a personal choice. That's insanity. That's segregation. There's so much...

liberalism that went all the way around to woke and then they just went all the way around to exactly what good liberals were always fighting. I mean, you know, it's just insane how stupid. Do we sound like old men complaining? I don't care. You know, that's their dumb argument is always they never engage me on the merits of the argument because they can't because they'll lose. So it's like, oh, you're old. Yeah, but that's not an argument.

Maybe I'm also right. Maybe I'm right because I am old. You know, like we're only the only stupidest country in the world that doesn't like

have the idea that older people generally are wiser. Not always, you can be old and stupid, but in general, the more days you live, the more things you learn, the more things you've seen, patterns over and over again. - Yeah, you do. - Like you were saying, you saw a thousand cases of the same thing in medicine. Okay, so maybe that's why you're beautiful when you're young.

And you're wiser. I mean, like every country in the world gets this. Thanks for giving us something. On a very basic level. It's like the basic trade-off of life. Only this dumb fucking country...

wants to posit wisdom and beauty in youth. And it just doesn't exist. No, that's exactly right. We've done it. When we were growing up, they did it in the 60s. Huge mistake. Did what? Posit wisdom in the youth. Remember? That's where it started. You're right. Well, that was the first go around with it. And then we kind of got over it. They ended the war. Yeah, because they didn't want to go. Exactly. And then they were like, you know, question, you know, what was it? Don't believe anybody over 30. Remember that? Yeah.

We were part of that. You're right. Well, I was a little young for that, and so were you. I remember it, though. I was a young adolescent. Yeah, but we were too young to go to Woodstock. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, we wouldn't be too young today to go to a Travis Scott concert. I would argue that it rained down on us, though. We were young, and we were seeing all this, and it was the kids that were ahead of us. Absolutely. We were affected by it. I was 12 in 1968, which was the...

If 67 was the summer of love, that was the summer of hate. I was 10. Yeah. And I'm sure you were a bright Jewish kid. I was aware of it. I was watching it. Of the Democratic Convention in Chicago with the violence, the assassinations of Kennedy and Martin Luther King two months apart. I mean, it was... Brutal.

Yeah, I mean... It was a crazy time. But the fact that we are idolizing that time and sort of bringing it back is really... It was dramatic. Yeah, it was dramatic. And it's dramatic now. Yeah.

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And right now you can try ZipRecruiter for free at this web address, ZipRecruiter.com slash random. That's ZipRecruiter.com slash random. Let me tell you a little story about how dumb we are.

I think you'll like this. There's a book out there called Albion Seed. Albion is the old name for the British Isles, like the ancient name. Oh, yeah, of course. And he, in this book, chronicles what was coming out of England and going where in the United States. There were basically three large, three or four large exoduses from England. And, you know, one was like Quakers and one was New England and their whole thing. And the other was the northern folks in Scotland and northern England. And they went into the Carolinas.

And remained... Were you a Game of Thrones fan? Yeah, sure. They were wildlings. They were like wildlings. They were maniacs. They would go from village to village. Take wives and steal them and marry them and fuck them. And they were nuts. Alcoholics. And Irish. Irish Scottish. Irish guys. The Irish guys. And Gone with the Wind. Yep. She's Katie O'Hara. Katie Scarlett O'Hara. Yep. And the father has that accent. I mean, when I first saw them, I'm like...

fuck is this the movie's about the south right it's like land kt scott at land it's the only thing worth fighting for worth dying for that's right and they were a certain kind of nutty and then the really warlike the they were warriors they were wildlings and the really nutty ones the really nutty ones i thought it would be a good idea to get in a wagon and go into the west

the really nutty ones. I mean, think about it. The nuts came over here. The ones that were super crazy up in the north, already crazy, decided it was a good idea to risk their life to come here. And then, if they were really crazy, put their family in a wagon and go into the Native American territory. Right. It's fucking crazy. And we wonder why we have, you know, if you look at like the mass shooters and stuff, a lot of them are

It's all in the West. And that doesn't surprise me that much. We were the nutty of the nutty settling out here and lots of addiction, lots of alcoholism, lots of violence. This country is all filled with people who had the courage and the craziness to run away. My family, Ukraine, run away, get out of there. Right. And it's a certain person that does that.

Well, that is one reason why America is so successful or has been. Yes, it's also our success. Of course, the people who got here were the most ambitious. Well, ambitious and also they did not want to be encumbered. Yes. They wanted to be free and independent. And it's weird when this latest term… You think we're losing that? I know a lot of people have, it seems like. I mean, as a country, the idea of like, you know, rugged…

Rugged individualism. Rugged individualism, yeah. I think we...

I think you can make a case that we went too far with that. And to have a little communal respect is not a bad thing. But now we've gone into some sort of weird territory where literally I was out jogging the other day and outside and a guy with an N95 mask recoiled from me like I was on fire. I don't know. I want to punch people. I did too. It made me angry. When I see young people,

With a mask. Walking outside. It makes me angry. Alone. I'm just like, you grow a pair of balls. You fucking pussy. First of all, you've got the good immune system. I mean, that's...

That just says how much that generation was raised to be afraid of their own shadow. Or we have done such a crazy job of helping people understand how this illness works and who's really at risk and what the risk is. Did you see the study out of Stanford with the bike riding? They took all the bike riders in Stanford and looked at how many were wearing a helmet versus how many wearing a mask. Yeah.

20% helmet, 60% mask on bikes at Stanford outside, the brightest kids in the country. I wear a helmet when I masturbate because...

You get a little vigorous, you know. I just, I can't anymore. I don't know. Listen, early in the pandemic, one of the things I was asking, I would ask Carolla, I'd say, when did we become such pussies? When did that happen? Such pussies. When did that happen? I don't. Well, it happened slow. When did it happen? It happened every day over years. What do you think of Sean Penn's comments about it being an issue of, this is a very, this is treacherous territory. Yeah.

But I thought it was... He threw down an interesting gauntlet. What did he say? Sean Penn? He said that men essentially become feminized and men need to be men again. I said that fucking 20 years ago. And, like, I remember getting... It was in my Broadway show in 2003. And, boy, I don't think they liked it at the New York Times. You know, it's just you can't be... You can't be honest about that. Well, of course, I will and fuck everybody, but...

It's just one of those things. But yes, I had a long thing about how we have become a feminized society in the sense that there – and it's not like these traits – it's a loaded term because the traits I don't necessarily think of as being owned by men. Right. But sensitivity over truth. Mm-hmm.

That, to me, is an example of a feminized... And women shouldn't get blamed. They can be just as truthful and not sensitive. Men can be oversensitive, too. It's just using those terms. And we should change the terminology for it. But that was the idea of those kind of, you know, safety being more important than anything.

And safety is important, but we've lost the balance. Yeah. That's what that means. So I may have expressed it. No, I agree 100%. That is the issue of getting the balance right. It seems out of whack. It's very, very. Well, we have become pussified. But, I mean, every generation thinks that of the one after that. I mean, we were thought of as pussies. Yeah, that's true. We were. Aren't we the me generation? Yeah, yeah. Wasn't that the rumors? Yeah. Okay, we were already me.

I remember he said that bit about Whitney Houston's, you know, the greatest love of all is happening to me. Remember that song? Yeah, I do. It was just something you couldn't imagine 20 years earlier. Somebody singing that anthem to themselves. That's right. Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me. It's just, and then every generation gets more and more. It seems. Yeah.

Weak and frail. I mean, I thought it was going to reverse optimistically after millennials. I thought Gen Z would go. And no, Gen Zs are even worse. Really? I don't know. I don't know them well enough yet. I would hope that they were going to. They're the Jonathan Haidt. Yeah. What is it? H-A-I-D-T. I know, but I say it wrong every time. I'm terrible with names. Anyway, he's a great writer. I think he's the one who identified that

All this woke shit that we think of has been going on for a very long time. It's really from 2015. Wow. That's when you start with microaggressions. Yes. And safe spaces. Right. And cry rooms. And, like, it's just like the millennial thing got even crazier. Yes. Even more sensitive. Like...

Just everything. There's an interesting kind of piece in there I always thought about, which is, you remember when we were kids, you didn't want to be the man. The man was to be pushed against. It wasn't cool to be the man, right? Sure. And I think our generation grew up sort of not wanting to be the man and therefore not wanting to be the adult either. Right. Oh, no. And so college administrators refused to do their job of being the adult because

Because they don't want to be, they remember when they were in college and were demonstrating against the college administrators, they didn't want to be like them. Parents refuse to do their job. It's the same thing. Same thing with parents. No, and it bleeds all the way through society. The whole woke thing to me is like the Democrats, the leaders of the party, they're the parents, they're the college administrators. And just like in homes and in colleges. Yep.

They won't tell the people, the kids, who are acting crazy, you're acting insane. Right. Buckle down. Yeah. Shut up. Listen. They let them run the asylum. Yeah. And so they run the media. They run a lot. And the ideas are, you know, very often loony. But...

It all starts to me with the parenting. Yeah, I don't disagree with you. And I was one of those parents. I was... Too lenient? I was not lenient. And I really... The one thing we didn't talk about at the bar was my kids really, really worked hard academically. And their peers did too. They were doing all the sports and this and that. They really, really worked hard. And we thought about that as evidence of us being...

you know, good parents. You know, we were getting them to perform because that's what our parents were always trying to do to us. We were sort of slackers a little bit in our generation. And we missed the fact that, I don't know, that somehow we weren't being adult enough with them in terms of how we participated with them and all that. What do your kids think about the fact that you have such a good sex life?

With their mother. You know, that has only become sort of part of the public conversation sort of recently. Because I do a show called After Dark with Tom Segura's platform over there. Isn't that a Hefner show? It's a little, it's a really, yeah, I know. It's a little, this is my way a little bit like that. But, you know what I mean? After Dark stuff. But this show is really sort of a new incarnation of Loveline. But I've had my wife on a few times when she has sort of unloaded

some facts and I was like alright here we go can I do it sure hell yeah anytime we do it in Austin though you have to be in Austin to do it I can zoom you in that's where everybody is you live in Austin no I'd fly down there to do those podcasts once a week no no like once a month oh okay

Yeah, Austin is becoming the new something. Yeah. What? The new what? Buenos Aires? I don't know. Well, I guess the guys go down there because they want to be free. You know, I want to be free, too. I mean, there is a lot about California that pisses me off. But, you know, I tell you, I can't leave Club Random. You know, it's like... There's a lot here. There's a lot here.

This year, I never understand this. The climate, a giant disaster. The weather, delightful. It's early here. A little more rain, a little cooler. We had a little rain. Not nearly enough. Am I wrong about that? Was not this 2021? Wasn't the weather basically delightful? Yes, beautiful. Welcome to Southern California. You know, it's funny. I thought of you...

oh shit I'm having a COVID block this is what happens to me still yeah and look who's got the joint in his hand I know but I do at least once an hour I'll do this thing where I'll be in the middle of a conversation and then it comes back you're blaming that on COVID no I'll tell you why with aging it goes away it doesn't come back with COVID it's back within 180 seconds what is? I thought it just comes back no but you're blaming that on COVID that you have I've only noticed it since COVID I had the blocking of aging and it goes away and that's the end of it but

But this is very unique because it goes away and comes back. You know how I know I don't have COVID problems like that? I remember to Ernest Bourne. Yeah.

He was great in Ice Station Zebra. How dare you? It's so funny. When you're a kid and you watch, in our era, and you watch sitcoms, you're watching people who were movie stars in another era that your parents are aware of. And we didn't know that. And we didn't know it. I didn't know Fred McMurray had a movie career. I didn't know Ernest Borgnine had a movie career. I didn't. All these people. And yes, Ernest Borgnine was Marty. I had the craziest conversation. But then I loved him on McKinney.

That's who he was to me, Case Commander McHale. 100%.

And then, wasn't he on the Poseidon Adventure? Yes, he was. He was married to the whore. That's right, to Stella Stevens or whatever her name was. But let's stop with the old man. He was fucking proud of it. Oh, shit. Now what was I going to say? Now my brain is tiring. Look, I have an excuse. I'm funny. I'm drinking your tequila. I have an excuse, and your excuse is COVID. That's fucking lame. Oh, I had the craziest conversation with Don Wells.

Do you know who Don Wells is? Of course. Marianne from Gilligan's Island. Marianne, when Gilligan got busted for pot, because he lived like in Oklahoma. Yeah. He was getting it through the mail.

You know who was sending it to him? Dawn. Yeah, that sounds like her. She was a pretty cool chick. And she said, she told me this story that, what's her name, Natalie Holloway, who played Mrs. Howell? Natalie. But she was a famous movie star. Something else you didn't know. Oh, I didn't know that. Huge movie crew. I still don't know that. Huge. Really? And she said she and Natalie were at Pink's getting a hot dog.

Gil Gonzales had been on the air two or three weeks and a crowd gathered at the window to watch them eat their hot dogs. And she said, Natalie, she goes, how weird that you have this huge movie career and nobody noticed you and now we are fucking cartoon characters on television and people can't get enough of us. And I thought that was a really interesting observation. Isn't that funny? How great is it though that

But Marianne got Gilligan. Of course. It's fucking dope. Yeah. She cared. She cared and she loved him. And they did a series together. And, you know, everybody becomes friendly with who they work with at work. Yep. That's right. I mean, I remember the guy at, was it McDonald's? I think he was the CEO of McDonald's. I think he had to step down because he was...

dating someone. People meet people at the office. Yeah, I know. I don't know how you manage it. You have to get attorneys involved just to have the relationship. But that's where people meet. I know what you're saying. But there is a... Yes, you...

There's been a history of abuse of authority, right? And so when there's a positional imbalance, the person underneath gets protected by the law. But that should be if the woman is complaining about it. Yeah, I know. I agree with you. It's infantilizing to the partner. Correct. Yeah, it's a little bit problematic. I don't think the McDonald's dude, again, I'm not a fact checker, but I don't think that was a case of he'd done me wrong. I think it's a case of

I got the look across the room from Stacy from accounting and we started dating because we're humans and we, and it's working for us. And now you all come in, you know, I remember, um, Elliot Spitzer, the disgraced because he, you know, it's all prostitute. He, yes. In Washington. It's funny. Cause he was always like volunteering, uh,

to do a testimony in Washington because that's where the hooker was so it would be like this child tax credit thing I'm awfully good at so he had an excuse to go to Washington and I say that I like the guy but I always said that was kind of funny you know

Amber's Law, I think I could be a real voice on that. Victimless crimes, well, I got something to say about that. Mohair subsidies, I have been all over that issue for a long time. I'll tell you what is troubling, though, is that so many people that project stuff that's going on in them out to the world. That's a problem.

Hasn't it always been? That's been out of control. It's a narcissistic thing. And it's been out of control lately. That people see the things they disavow in themselves and everybody else. Yes. Projecting and mind reading and all this stuff is very destructive. Really, that's not how it works. And that's kind of how it works. That's because you're a fucking egomaniac. Well...

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Julia Child is back, the original celebrity chef, the trailblazer, the feminist icon, the woman who made America fall in love with French cuisine and who turned cooking into a spectator sport. Listen to Dishing on Julia, the companion podcast of the HBO Max original series, Julia, where host Kerry Diamond interviews the show's creatives, cast and crew for some delicious behind the scenes insight.

Stream new episodes of Julia on HBO Max and listen to Dishing on Julia wherever you get your podcasts. But you know what's interesting? I've also noticed one thing that COVID taught me is that people have a fundamental bias. They either have an optimism bias or a pessimism bias. And mine's an optimism bias. I'm a little...

I want to cheer on, I want to move through, I want to minimize the negative. And that today is considered dangerous or something. The pessimism bias controlling... What determines which one you get? We don't know. It's just sort of a cognitive bias. You know, why people arrive at the certain biases they have. I have trouble telling where yours are. I always thought you had a little pessimism bias. You know what? It depends. You know, I always say, if there's something to worry about, I will worry about it. Yeah.

So it's made me a very careful person in my life in general because I don't want to give myself something to worry about. Yeah. Also, I don't do anything bad, you know? I know. I was raised by Bill and Julie Marr. They knew what they were doing and they didn't raise an asshole. Yeah.

And, you know, I mean, I certainly have been at my moments, you know, likewise. We discussed it tonight already. I mean, we were unholy terrorists, like, in the 90s. We really were. But boy, did we have a good time. But if I was my 28-year-old self, I would say...

You know, I was born on the cusp, astrologically. Of? Aquarius and Capricorn. When I was in my 20s, I put credence into this. I don't, like, completely disavow anything because we don't know what the fuck. But I really don't. I don't know. But it's funny how seductive it is when you hear that. Anyway, they did the chart and they said, two people, they said, you were born at 10.32 at night. You were to the minute on the cusp. Wow.

And Aquarius is supposed to be creative, you know, a lot of ideas. - It's more optimism. - Capricorn, the goat, is more like you get things done. And there's many ways I can only be singular. Anything I try to do where you have to use a lot at once, like piano,

Couldn't ride a motorcycle. You know, I could never play drums. I'm good at, I can't write a screenplay really because it's many characters. I'm good at focusing on one thing and telling you, this is what I think, this is what it is, and drive toward a point. That's the Capricorn. You know, it's interesting, and yet within that you have creative insights. That's why I think, again, this is,

It's just like my sex makes you live longer theory. I'm just throwing it out of my ass.

Kind of. But astrologically, it's like I get the ideas from the Aquarius side, and then the Capricorn makes them. Because Aquarius tend to go off in the air, and you have too many at once. Well, let's at least say this. Whatever it is, just words describing concepts, it does accurately describe your constitution. So maybe I'm both optimist and pessimist. It's kind of how I experience you. I mean, I can turn to pessimism, but I've got to like...

Not if I have to suffer. That would be bad. For instance, the pessimists were definitely in control during COVID. And just the fact that you're saying you've got to live, you have to take risks, that's all the optimism bias. But some people are happy or not happy sort of not based on the things which you would think would make them happy or not happy. Whereas I think mine are actually aligned to that.

Like, no one gets to this age without having had health issues. I've had them. We're not going to go into detail. But when you have to think about your health all the time for a period, I'm sure you've had the same thing. I have all kinds of fun. Like, nothing is really fun. Nothing is really good. Oh, hey, you're getting me on the end of an episode of diverticulitis, which had me, like, so...

so fatigued and want diverticulitis. I've heard the word. It's like having appendicitis on the left side as opposed to the right caused by a little different process.

What causes divert genetics? These little pouches in your colon, they get infected and filled, and you get sick. And they knocked me down for three weeks. I just started feeling normal today. How do they treat it? Well, antibiotics, lots of antibiotics. Oh, that's terrible. And then now that this has gotten so bad for me, they got to cut out that piece of colon, so I'm going to see a surgeon on Monday. Oh, really? Yeah, because I'm sick of this shit. I want to take care of it. This is ridiculous.

Getting old sucks. Look how I like my prostates out. But you look great. I look great? I still fuck my wife regularly. It's like, this is... Yes. Can I ask you a question about that? Please, please. I know that intrigues you greatly. It so does. Like, and this is a question I kind of want to ask any married person. Yeah, yeah. And not in a snarky way. I'm just like...

Because it's based on like, remember, I've been in long-term relationships. You know, when you're in a long-term relationship where you've already been with the person a lot, you're living together, how do you know when to throw down? Sex?

Throw down. It is... I just never got... I never understood that. It is different for different couples at different times. Is there a cue? Is there a... It's weirder than that. Weirder than that? I'll tell you why. Because sometimes women have this thing where they want to be...

approached and then they find it unappealing when you do it's like this weird come after me but not right it's weird they can be sort of they want to affirm that they're attractive they want to know that actually bone you sometimes but but and so so usually usually what happens no usually what happens is you the relationship works out a set of cues

I said cues. You sort of set up some cues. That was my guess. And the more playful, the more funny they can be, the better to be utilized. And be prepared to have your partner say, not right now, but make sure that everyone's getting their needs met regularly so not right now is not that big a deal. You don't feel deflated by it. I agree.

People always ask me, what is this? I am as into my wife now as I was when I first met her. And that's insane. That's insane. You're the luckiest man. So A, it's lucky. B, it was my instinct that I really, really, really was into this person. She's a specimen, still at 60, whatever. You know, Suzanne Somers talks like this. I know. I've heard her say it. I've heard her say the same thing. Do you ever think of cheating with her? No. Not recently. No.

trying to fuck up your life which is working perfectly except for the diverticulitis that's a nightmare and then and then the other thing it's like recovery from alcoholism it's one day at a time what do you mean in the sense that today I'm just as into as I was yesterday and as long as I'm into it today I probably will be into it tomorrow it's kind of interesting it's like you have amnesia

There must be a certain amnesia because to the vast majority of men, what is exciting is newness. That bit I used to do in my old act that made anyone with a stick up their ass hate me had a bit about that because it was after the Hugh Grant thing. Yeah, yeah.

And I said, what people, it's like, how could he do it? He has Elizabeth Hurley at home. And I was explaining to them, it's not about beautiful or not. It's about old or new. It's not about big tits or small tits or blonde hair. It's like old and... That has a name. Do you know what it's called?

It's called the Coolidge Effect. The Coolidge Effect? Do you know why it's called the Coolidge Effect? Because Calvin Coolidge was a famous pussy hand. Well, that. Well, that is. No, they used to maintain federal farms.

And once a year, the first lady and the president would go tour the farms. It was just sort of formal. So it is Calvin Coolidge. Calvin Coolidge. Okay. Who went to my college. They toured the farms? Toured the federal farms. They maintained federal farms. And one year, the first- Why, for a famine or something? I don't know what the history is of why we had that. It sounds like a post-Civil War kind of thing that went into the early 20th century. And-

The First Lady was the first group to arrive at the chicken coop, and the farmer held up his prize rooster and said, Mrs. First Lady, I just want to point out to you, this is our prize rooster. He can copulate at least 100 times a day. To which Mrs. Coolidge said,

Please point that out to the president when he comes around. And the farmer was deflated and embarrassed. And so she moves on. And now the president comes. Calvin Coolidge is there. He goes, Mr. President, your wife, the first lady, asked me to point out to you our prized rooster who's able to copulate at least 100 times during the day. To which Coolidge said, with the same chicken? And that became the Coolidge effect. Is that like in books?

If you Google it, if you Wikipedia it, you'll find the Coolidge effect. You know, he was known as Silent Cow. Apparently he was very not loquacious. And the story is some woman came up to him at a White House event and said, my husband bet me I couldn't get three words out of you tonight. And he said, you lose. He was apparently very funny and very clever. But very, very, what do they call it? Of all the Coolidge stories.

I'm only going to tell about four or five more. He went to my college, so I heard all about him. He went to Amherst College, like I did. Oh, my goodness. This is so fun. God bless Club Random. You need to come here more. I'll come. It sounds like...

I mean, I never really got high with you, you know, and fucked up. You're really a great company. I always liked you, but I never knew you like this. Well, let's do more of this. I'm delighted to be. I always had affection for you and I had admiration for your thinking. You don't back down from what you know to be brashly so. Yeah, it gets more and more onerous to do that.

It seems like it, but more and more important, though. Well, one reason I wanted to do this is because... And, you know, I am giving up nothing for my real job. Right. I am not stealing one minute from my normal work week. I work on that show...

A lot. And this, obviously not at all. It's a complete different thing. It's between a jam band and making Sgt. Pepper. Not that I'm really making either one. No, that's right. And people want to hang out at the jam band. Here you play. Hopefully they want to do both. But the stress in just this atmosphere we live in, where everyone is just trying at all times...

to just get a scalp on the wall. It's so much bad faith. It's a great word. They don't care about social justice, half of them. They just want to find something to get somebody on. And in that atmosphere, you're just, it's like...

People can't relax the way they used to. I remember one of the shows we did after 9-11. Obviously not the one where I got fired from, but one of those. Or maybe it was that show. Maybe it was early in that show. And one of the guests said, you know, we're all sitting here very nervous. Like we could get...

or canceled. They didn't have the word canceled, but that's what he was saying. It may have been one of the first references to that phenomenon. We're all worried that we're going to say the wrong thing. Maybe it is after I, it must have been after I, when I was going to be a goner. Okay. And I feel like that's now a permanent condition. Yeah, it is a permanent condition. And it, you know, my goal was always from the beginning in TV to,

Can I get real talk on television? Because usually the two are just so far from each other. I know. I mean, I like a lot of these hosts personally, but, you know, the show is just not like them. And it's always been an effort to get more and more...

You're going to love doing this. I do love doing this. Because it's just... It's what I would be doing anyway on a Wednesday night. It's what you'd be doing anyway. It's authentic. And you don't have all that infrastructure. You can just deliver yourself directly to an audience who wants to hang out with you. It feels like you're always in...

a lot of areas, but certainly media, you know, you have to be like one step ahead of the law in as far as like, you know, like where can we go that we're not like counted and I'm sure they'll fucking over-regulate this shit. And, you know, it's always, yeah. But it's funny that my image of podcasting, you know, sometimes you have a

I'm sure you know, something stuck in your brain and then one day you realize, oh, I needed to update that four years ago. Yeah. And you don't because you just didn't think about it. So you still have the old... And my last... Until a couple of years ago, my last image of podcasting was like when it was new. Yeah, it was different. A lot of guys were getting it and it was like... And I heard about friends of mine and so I told my agents one day, I said, why can't I get a podcast? And they went...

you fucking moron. The people who bring podcasts want what you have. Yes. That's right. I'm like, oh, I'm sorry. Yeah. But that changed. That changed. I mean, and again, my love is my real show. I feel like it's a, it's for grownups. Yeah. But,

The amount of grown-ups in America is getting smaller and smaller. This is for everybody. Yeah, I agree with that. But I would argue your voice has become... I hope so. But again, it's only the grown-ups watching. I mean, last week we talked, the subjects where I thought about it, the subjects were the ACLU and NATO. Now, if I said that to the average person on the street, under 40 especially...

What's that? Which one? Both. Do they know what the ACLU is? Do they know what NATO is? I mean, I will never not want to do the show for grownups because, again, I do think it's important. This country is really going to come apart in four years. Well, it's time for the grownups to be adults, the adults in the room to be adults. It's time. It really is. And who do you define as the adults?

Well, you know, people that are willing to speak honestly and frankly and, you know, it's just – and people to say no to other people. And not be so partisan and be like, you know, not everything has to be either Trump or woke. You know, I mean, that's why I feel what I'm –

The thing I did last week on this show was about kind of like barking back at the people who say, maybe you've changed. I'm like, I didn't change. Oh, I saw that. Oh, good. I get that shit, too. That's what the LA Times, the LA Magazine articles. Right. He used to be so smart. I didn't change. I've not changed at all. Right. You all have changed. Exactly. You have moved the goalposts. You have changed everything. I am exactly the way I always was. Me, too. Yeah. I said, I am the same pot-smoking, unmarried, childless libertine I always was.

And you can accuse me of a lot of things, but not maturing. Yeah, yeah. Come to club random. Yeah, it's the same. I haven't seen you, Jay. No. And Corolla gets a lot of this, too, and he is exactly the same, saying precisely the same stuff he's always saying. But he was always more right-wing than I was, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys are different. I'm not crazy right-wing. But neither of you are saying... I'm not hearing you say anything different than I heard you say 15 years ago. No, no, no. I mean, they changed the goalposts. Oh, my God. And so...

But that's okay because I feel like there is a... I hear it from people all the time. There is a hunger for what we're talking about. People have not completely forgotten sanity. Correct. And common sense. Correct. I'm getting on the road for the first time ever politically mixed audiences. Oh, that's interesting. That never happened. That's good. That's healthy. Very good. Yeah. And I see like I'll do Trump, lots of scathing Trump jokes and...

There are Trumpers there who are like not really buying it, but they laugh. And he's a preposterous figure. They understand that. You know, I mean...

So, and then liberals have said, look, I see some people like, oh, when I start, I mean, I see some of that. But basically everybody is laughing together. We've got to get back to that. I mean, this country has got to get back to not hating each other, to be able to sit down with anybody. We always look to comedy for that.

I mean, where have the comedians been? And the comedians usually push back on the man instead of they become the man. Exactly. So true. Same with the musicians. Neil Young, you think Neil Young was out there fighting against the Vietnam War? That's what I thought. He became the man all of a sudden. You are the man, dude. That thing you hated the most. It's unbelievable. You're so right about that. That's such a perfect, great theme. Yeah. And it's sort of, I mean, it's almost inevitable, right?

As we age, a lot of people are going to get picked off by that. I remember being at a party about five years ago, and I'm not going to say who it was, but a Hollywood actor, never a giant star as an actor, but kind of an iconic figure, and about 10, 15 years older than me. I certainly saw him in movies when I was a kid and wanted to be him. And I saw him at this party, and...

I don't know, we got to talking. I used to hang out with him a little bit. He was such a, you know, great looking, but also like nice, you know, like played against type. So he told me that night that not only had Obama ruined the country, but he did it on purpose. And I'm like, yeah, on purpose. Tell me more. Right. And it's like, wow, you got sucked into the Fox News vortex. People do. Yeah.

They get sucked into this vortex. Well, they get in both, because I'm such a modern independent. Right. I see the vortices on both sides. They drive me crazy. No. And people get sucked into a woke state.

And that's like, where did your mind go? A friend of mine just told me about a conspiracy theory. I had not heard it. He was stunned that I had not heard it. And I felt guilty that I had not heard it. He said, help me out with this, that there was a conspiracy amongst the state attorney generals, I think he said, to be able to decertify elections in multiple states. So if Trump loses the next election, they'll be able to overturn it. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

I never heard this. It's kind of crazy. Well, all this stuff is coming out now about how much Trump tried to steal, how much he tried to steal. Well, he tried to steal, but going forward, this is a thing? Oh, yeah. Well, they're going to... It's going to be worse than that. That's why I keep saying, if you have a time you want to be out of the country for a couple of months, January 2025 is when the shit is going to hit the fan. You've said it, yeah. And I don't know what's going to happen. I mean, isn't it funny the way... The world's coming apart, but...

on the side of medical issues, life doesn't seem horrible. Life's never been better. Never been better? I mean, in terms of how long we live, how well we live, how nourished we are. Maybe to you personally?

Has my life ever been better? No, the last two years pretty much sucked. But in spite of them sucking, I had a lot of sources of real happiness and enjoyed a lot of things. It's like, of course, would you want to be 30 years younger for health reasons? Of course. But would I want to go back? No. Because if I still had to have that dumbass brain...

That's what I, that's. And I was deep in workaholism, painful workaholism. Like really I was. Just on a health level. Even though my body is much, of course, less able to fend off bad and create good at this age, I still think I'm healthier because I'm so much smarter about it. The things I used to do to myself, sometimes knowingly, sometimes unknowingly, I

I feel like I'm so much smarter about it. I agree. Yeah. I agree. You know, speaking of doing things I want to do, one of the things I did, one of the many things I was going to bring up with you, well, let me bring up the two things that had fled my mind and now I remember. One was I go down to Texas to do podcasts, and when I'm down there, they immediately go, oh, yeah, we're free to do whatever. No one gets in the way. We're free to do anything we want. And I thought it was kind of libertarian. And when they say that to you, it scares you. You go, what?

Not everything. It's weird how when some people really talk about freedom, it's excessive. I understand people wanting to control what comes out of factories, you know what I mean, and clear the air. Maybe secondhand smokes, they went a little too far, but we can get the balance right perhaps. Now tell me this as a person who studies the brain.

As he was saying that, I just remembered you singing karaoke across the world. It was you and me, not just me. It was the two of us.

That I don't remember. I think I have the picture on my phone. I believe you. I trust you. And I think we were doing... Why did I just remember that? And all night long I've been talking to you. Maybe something about the way I said it or something. Isn't that funny? Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, I remember that. Our brains are very interesting instruments. Isn't it interesting the way they move the furniture? And like...

I've always been a good caveman by that. I mean, I've like left evidence for myself of my past. I used to diligently write a journal. Like I'd spend a whole day like writing it like I was writing it to the world. John Adams. Like really, like I'm a first draft. Like I'm writing to me. Like every three months I had it like

The seventh day of January and April. Oh, that's fantastic. And I did it for years and years and years. I feel bad that I didn't. I'm jealous that you did that. Is there anything worthwhile in it? Well, everyone's, you can check things. The point I was making was that I remembered, I was telling this story, this hysterical thing that happened once with me, and this has to be about late 80s, 90s.

I was in a long relationship and my girlfriend and I were somewhere on the road. I did probably a comedy club or something. And I remember it as Washington, D.C. I could have sworn I would have bet the house. And the story was we were, it was after the show. We wanted to get dinner. We come up to this restaurant and

And, like, they're literally just coming up to the door to put the close sign. Oh, yeah. They all want to go home. Yeah, yeah. And the owner sees that there's two customers, and he tells the guy, let him in, and they're like... And the speed with which the dinner came and, like, everything, because they wanted to leave, was...

We were like in tears laughing. It's like, oh, yes, and I'll have the, oh, thank you. And then literally the vacuum while we're still eating, you know. This is terrible. And I could have sworn this happened in Washington, D.C., and in my diary, whatever, it was London. Well, our memories are notoriously inaccurate. Yeah.

Notoriously. Really? They are repeatedly reconstructed units. And if we make a mistake in one of the reconstructions, it sticks. You mean you're not Sanjay Gupta? No, it's not me. And there's different qualities of memory, too. Have you interviewed...

What's her name from Taxi? Oh, I think we're going to do that here. Mary Lou Henner. Mary Lou Henner has a perfect autobiographical. I had an experience where I remember... Isn't that amazing? I remembered her watching her with David Letterman on The Tonight Show in 1979, and she told me exactly what she was wearing and what their conversation was. And because I was very depressed watching it and I remembered it for some reason, she was exactly how I remembered it. It is amazing the...

the complete whatever it is, panoply of thought from idiot to like normal people like us, to like people like that who have a special quality like that. Or like I always say, everything that we love is because of like 20 people in history, 20 scientists who discovered the basic things. Why is there electricity? Oh, yeah. You know,

It's a very small number of people and they stood on each other's shoulders often, but Einstein and Newton and Copernicus, these people, they figured out shit looking at the planets about light and infrared and how all this works. So we just sit here comfortably in our...

Soft underwear with electricity and there's heat. And could we figure out how to do any of it? No. No. This is the extraordinary phenomenology of the human experience.

which is alone, we are helpless and worthless, but in a social setting, standing on the shoulders of one another, it's unbelievable. But especially in that area. Science. We just glommed on. Yes, technology. Luckily, there was just this tiny, tiny, tiny percentage of people at the very top who could figure it out. And they really should have gotten

Bigger royalties. I'm just saying, if I was the agent for Isaac Newton, I would have asked for a much bigger upfront piece of the back end of gravity. He lost everything in the South Sea bubble. He gambled on the South Sea bubble and lost everything. Which was what, tulips? It was like tulips, but it was a land thing, a land speculation thing. Really? Yeah, isn't that funny? A lot of those old dudes who did so much...

Well, how about the fact that they're all discarded now because they're old white dudes? That's really scary. That's unfortunate. And Isaac Newton? What did he do? Put his dick on someone's... I'll knock that apple off with my dick. That's the little Isaac Newton story you never heard.

What did he do? I don't know any of these guys. They just were hard-working scientists. I know. So who's been canceled? I mean, they canceled Columbus because he had slaves as everyone... Well, I hear this mostly in the realm of philosophy. Like, philosophical discourse has no meaning because it's a bunch of old white guys thinking about things. Well, I mean, there is that. I mean, that's another thing I do in my acting because it just drives me nuts. It's like young people who...

think that they're somehow being enlightened by judging people from hundreds of years ago and my argument always is to them is do you think if you lived back then you'd have been fucking Nostradamus and were like oh no I can see that no you wouldn't you would have done what everyone did back then if you were way ahead of your curve

and were a highly moral person, you would have felt uncomfortable or concerned about it and still done it. You know what I'm saying? I don't think it's crossed their minds. You know whose minds it did not cross that slavery was wrong? Who's that? Everyone in the Bible. Right. It just doesn't cross their mind. No one, they make a million rules about slavery, like,

if a man kills your slave, you may kill his slave. But let's not do it. I mean,

There was no slavery thing. Maybe God didn't like that. That's right. Okay. You know, that never, I don't think it came up in the meeting. I really don't. It's just, that's where people were. Yeah. I mean. We evolve. We evolve in our ideas. We evolve biologically. Right. I mean, in 80,000 B.C. Yeah.

Would you not characterize sex as rape? Probably. I'm sure a lot of it was. Yeah. If not exclusively. I don't think it would. That's what I mean. Like animals don't ask each other out to dinner. Yeah. I think we were still sort of in the animal phase. Yeah. Where, you know, she bent over at the stream and showed her bulbous buttocks. Yeah. And, you know...

Maybe this is still working for you. Antics ensue. Yeah. Thankfully, it's just my wife that does that to me. A guy came up behind. I mean, you see, should we cancel that? I know. They were technically humans. That's the insanity. Og and Fred Flintstone. The insanity of all this is that inconsistency in the reality of evolution of history.

Well, I mean, just as humans evolve as we grow older, so does mankind in general. Society evolves, morality evolves, ideas evolve. We're doing it actually faster than we used to. Than we maybe should even. That's part of the problem. Right, but morally, in general, I'm certainly on the page of the way we've evolved with society.

Civil rights. Absolutely. Of course. It's actually insulting that we even have to sort of say it. I mean, it should be assumed. Trust me. Yes. We're basic liberals who've always believed in everyone should be treated equally and with dignity and...

You know, gay stuff. Oh, we've all been good spokesmen for that forever. I mean, it's just, it's some. I think there was a shift from the equality of opportunity to equality of outcome. That's a different, yes. I think that sort of shifted things a bit. And now that is debatable. Yeah. And that's something that should be debated. Yeah. But, you know, it's just a shame that, going back to what we were saying, you're always sort of like suspect in a way that, like, oh, come on.

haven't we earned a little trust? Well, this is, like I said, I've got a hit article. We're not fucking Nazis. I've got a hit article coming out on me to that effect. Like, he used to be this. Now, supposedly, that's what I'm hearing. A hit article? Yeah, I'll bring it to you. LA Magazine, something like that. Oh, for fuck's sake. And so, and it's all that stuff. It's like, oh, he's so different now. It's all that projection of their disgusting material that they're putting on us. I've been the same forever. I've not changed. Right. And you, you have a bunch of stuff you're pouring out into the

world that you ought to look at. I always say about the media, it's never about the truth. It's always about a narrative. Oh my God, which is to me the weirdest thing in the world as a scientist. That's insane. But you know that's the truth. It's absolutely true. I don't think it's, I think it has ever been thus.

I just think it's worse now. I just don't care. The narrative is more important than the truth. That's the problem. The only thing, yeah. Dr. Drew is the same guy. It's not a narrative. That's the truth. Exactly right. The narrative is Dr. Drew changed. See, that's the narrative. Doc, my battery's dying. Yeah. My agent battery is dying too, metaphorically. And also my microphone's dying.

Great to really a pleasure fucking chew the shit with you. We're going to hang out some more. I'm coming to clip random. I'm coming. I'm coming.