Quentin Tarantino|Club Random w/Bill Maher
01:44:37 Share

My dad works in B2B marketing. He came by my school for career day and said he was a big ROAS man. Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend. My friend's still laughing me to this day. Not everyone gets B2B, but with LinkedIn, you'll be able to reach people who do. Get $100 credit on your next ad campaign. Go to linkedin.com slash results to claim your credit. That's linkedin.com slash results. Terms and conditions apply. LinkedIn.com slash results.

LinkedIn, the place to be, to be. You know, I'm not a fancy intellectual like you. That's not a fancy intellectual, sir. I'm just a sleazy late night comic. Is that what you're trying to say, Quentin? Some people traveled 300 miles to see that movie. Of course, they also needed an abortion at the same time. Welcome to Club Random with Bill Maher. Tonight's guest, Quentin Tarantino.

Well, you totally whipped it out, all right? I didn't realize there was going to be joints in there. It had that Simon Templer gold cigarette case. I would hate someone to just clip the phrase, and you just whipped it out. So let's not, but, oh, is it me, or do Zippo lighters not work?

No, they're a great idea, but they're not very practical. I just, I don't want to like diss a product, but I just feel like... No, I wish they were the greatest. Like I almost, I wish I could, I almost wish I could smoke just so I could smoke a Lucky Strike. I think I must be doing it wrong. You put the lighter fluid in the back...

and it sort of saturates. No, no, no, that shit doesn't work for me. No, the minute it runs out of lighter fluid, you throw it away and buy a new one. But it only works, I must be doing it wrong. Otherwise, how did they burn down half of Vietnam with these? You know, they're always seeing them in the movies, and they're like, oh, the village has to be saved, and then they fucking. Yeah, I think I treat Zippo lighters like big lighters. When they run out of lighter fluid, I just throw them away and get a new one. I,

Oh, hey, here's a new one with Motley Crue written on it. Here's a new ZZ Top written on this one. I don't even like ZZ Top. Okay. I just know when it works, I feel fortunate. Oh, see, I blew. What are you talking about? Your flame is good. Another thing I don't want them to clip.

But listen, before I forget, I did want to say there is an expression in French, l'esprit d'escalier. I know esprit de corps. I don't know esprit d'escalier. Everybody knows esprit de corps. I didn't say that I was special. I'm saying that's the one I know. Well, plainly or not, if you think that's impressive.

No, but Esprit de... Everybody knows Esprit de Corbeau. Go ahead. This is a very recherché, to use another sort of pretentious French word. Yeah.

I don't know where I came across it, but I always loved it because it pertains to a part of my life that I find very frustrating. It means escalier, stairs, esprit. I don't know how that is translated literally, but what it means is the thought you had that you wished you said. Oh, wow. And now you're on the stairs. You're leaving. Yeah.

And you go, oh, I wished I'd told the boss's wife her meatloaf was great or whatever. Oh, wow. I actually have one of that when it comes to you and your show. I have it every week. Uh-huh, yeah. Okay. Of course you do. Of course you do. Of course you do. Of course I do. And when you were on, I said it to you in the green room. I just said it to you over there. But I wished I had said it on the show proper, which is that

The reason I was imploring you to continue your career is because I felt your last one, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, was this departure from revenge. Look, you were very sweet in that. Wait, let me finish. Revenge into a love story. Yeah. Because this would then be the third time I didn't get it out.

It's a love story, even though it's between two men. And that is such a departure for you. And to me, it says, oh, I'm in a new chapter in my life. I'm guessing this has something to do with the fact that you're married. Well, I wasn't married when I made it, but I was going to be married very shortly. Okay, but there you go. You're in the honeymoon phase. Yeah. So it makes sense that you would make a love story movie after so many years of...

Revenge movies. Well, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I know that. I know what you mean. No, there makes a lot of, there makes a lot of sense to that. I mean, look, I think there also is a little bit of age going on and the idea that I was six or seven during 1969, but I was living in Los Angeles. So I remember what it was like driving down those streets. You were only six? Yeah. What year were you born? I was 1963. Fuck you. Yeah.

How do you know that? That's amazing because those years make a difference and yet all those 60s references which just tickled me to the end, to the earth. Well, because I was plugged in. I was like, what you're complaining about young people now, about they're not interested in older stuff. I prided myself on,

On my pop culture knowledge going back 20, 30 years. Can I tell you, like, putting in a little detail is the secret of success. Yeah. You're a master of it. Like, putting in a little detail, like a Screen Gems product. Exactly! You know, make... I can't tell you how much that makes my day. How much that is like a finger up my ass. Not that I really want a finger up my ass. No, no, no. I'm just using that phrase because society likes that. No, no, no. But you are...

You are the perfect, you are the perfect generation. Well, you're the perfect age of the perfect generation. So you were young enough at this time at the full on going on on television of you spent hours.

With that remote control in your hand, clicking this and hearing the Screen Gems logo as it finished up on a show going on to something else. Sweetheart, we didn't have remotes when I saw Screen Gems. They didn't exist. We didn't have cones. No, no, no. I mean the old clicker. That was past the Screen Gems era. You're talking about a time...

I mean, the time the movie takes place. Yeah, yeah. No, no, no. There were still clickers. There were still. Not in 69. There were only four. There was only four things. But it was like, yeah. There were no clickers. Yeah.

In 69, they were. For the big family console, yes. Not for the little piece of shit black and white. Not for my family. I believe you. I believe you. My father did not get a... You know, when you bought the TV that came with the stereo and the radio and the place to put your records and two speakers. Okay, yeah, they came with a fucking clicker, dude. Yeah.

I love that I still, you know, I have the old stereo here on the property somewhere in a guest house because I couldn't part with it. It was a piece of furniture. Yeah, it's absolutely furniture. And you put shit on it as if it was furniture. Like half of the thing was, I mean...

If you didn't put your records there, then you could get really creative. And who knows what you could fucking put there. But half of it was like, I mean, it was like this thing that was like yay high. And it looked like a credenza. You opened a drawer this way and there was the turntable. Very modern. And the other way was where you stored your albums. And depending on how, if it was a little of an older nature, you actually.

he had a little kind of curtain you could close on the TV screen. You know what kids are saying? They're listening to this going, and then they started to churn butter. They're like, how old are these fucks?

Go to bed, you little assholes. I do a lot of serious TV watching of that apparatus, but I saw that apparatus. But you obviously absorbed that stuff at a very young age. Well, there's an aspect in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood where it's like, whenever you see Brad Pitt driving...

It's kind of like the money shot. The money shot is slightly lower than him in the passenger seat looking up. And so you get all the going around.

But there's a reason for that, because my stepfather, who was taking care of me at that time, he was a piano bar musician. So during the day, he was... A piano bar musician? Yeah, you know, like the movie The Family of the Baker Boys, you know, one of those kind of guys. Tinkling the Ivory. Yeah, exactly. Singing the hits of the day. Pattern.

I'm sure, yes. Was Pater involved? Yeah, he was actually... Could you give us a... Well, it was like, you know, it was depending on what the gig was. It was all in, like, the East L.A. area, all right? East L.A.? Yeah, well, that was before it was completely Vato at the time, you know? Vato? Well, you know, yeah, Mexican. Okay, sure.

Yeah, it was like in 1969, it was like Latino, but there were still tons of clubs in San Gabriel and all kinds of places like that. Is this the area of Jackie Brown? Torrance? No, no, no, no. That's the area that I grew up in. Okay. That's the area I grew up in. But the thing is, just so that you know, so my stepfather, he worked in these piano bars, and they had cool names. Like one of them was called My Old Kentucky Home.

Another one, and I remember the clubs, and I remember the matchbooks from the clubs. But the coolest one, of course, I'm going to think this is cool, was this club that he worked at was like the main club he was working at during our main years together. It was a place called the Drinker's Hall of Fame. Oh, my God.

And how you got in the Drinker's Hall of Fame, it's like famous Hollywood drunks. This is the name of the club. The name of the bar. The name of the club. Give me a fucking break. It's a club. It's a bar. It's a bar. It was called the Drinker's Hall of Fame. And so the outside was painted red. It had the wild logo for the Drinker's Hall of Fame. And then there's like a cartoon picture of W.C. Fields and a cartoon picture of Bogart. Yeah.

So then you go in the club. Comedy clubs had the same thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, this is like a comedy club except for drinkers, for famous Hollywood alcoholics. When I was on the road in the early 80s as a young comic, that's what every single comedy club had. Yeah. Cartoons of Groucho. Yeah, right. Exactly. And these iconic comics who none of us were anything like. Yeah. You walk into the Drinkers Hall of Fame and there was like four people

They were like the patron saints of the Drinker's Hall of Fame. They had a whole wall to themselves. We're talking about a bar that specializes in memorabilia. So wall space is really, really partial. The only four people that got a wall are these four people. Naturally, W.C. Fields. Humphrey Bogart. Of course.

John Barrymore. I learned who John Barrymore was. Senior? Yeah, senior. Isn't that Drew Barrymore? No, that's his grandfather. But her lineage. No, it's her grandfather. Okay, she used to live in this house. Oh, wow. Oh, yeah, I know. She built this. I heard that story. She built the thing above where we're sitting. Her father is John Drew Barrymore. His father is John Barrymore.

Which one shot Lincoln? John, actually, John Derrick in the movie. I know it's one of those fuckers. And then the fourth one was Buster Keaton. Buster Keaton. Well, Buster Keaton was a major, major fucker. Yeah. I mean, when you think about Michael Keaton, Diane Keaton, Buster Keaton...

There's a lot, there's, that name has been good to show business. Absolutely. And Buster Keaton was amazing. He absolutely was. And, you know, but, you know, but it was also. Are you a student of all that early? Oh, the silent films? Yeah. Well, here's the interesting thing. Even silent? No, I'm a, look, I'm a big fan. Here's the thing about silent movies is I actually love silent movies, but because they're not of my time, I really only have patience for the greatest. Yeah.

I agree. I always think of them like my dogs. Could you just say it? No, no, no. It gets boring not talking. No, no, no, no. I actually think when you actually give yourself over to silent movies, it's one of those things like when you watch a foreign movie and you forget you're watching the subtitles. At a certain point, if the movie's good, you're like, oh, wow, I forgot that they weren't talking. I mean, like a good example of that. I'll tell you a good example of that comedy-wise. Okay, so it's like...

You've got your three patron saints of silent cinema, which is Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton, and Harold Lloyd. The thing that's different. They're different than the ones on the wall. Yeah, yeah. But similar. Yeah. But here's the thing, though, all right, is in the case of Charlie Chaplin, in the case of Buster Keaton, pantomime is a big thing.

part of what they do. That's part of their comedy. Like, of course. Well, when there's no sound, you don't want to be good at that. But even their type of comedy suggests a pantomime approach to it. They had no sound, of course. In Vaudeville, they would have a similar pantomime kind of approach to some degree. Did they all come from Vaudeville? They all came from Vaudeville. Okay. You can even say necessity. Yes. But

Necessarily or not, they made it work for them. Boy, did they. Harold Lloyd is different. He sounds like me. Right. He's an actor. He's acting. He never shuts up. He talks all the time. Also, he's an innovator. I always think of him like the Gene Kelly. Yeah. Because Gene Kelly was not just a dancer. He was a gymnast. Yes. I mean, it was athletics plus...

Buster Keaton, it's not just the – I mean, Charlie Chaplin was funny, but Buster Keaton, a lot of it was technological innovation. The industry was new. I mean, the one where the house is blown off. Oh, yeah, yeah. And it's like they put the house on a turntable. I mean, they were doing things for the first time. Well, what Buster Keaton – why Senator Teese put Buster Keaton ahead of the other three –

The head of the other two. Harold Lloyd and Charlie Chaplin. Who put them ahead? Cinetist. Cinetist? Film buffs.

I thought you were saying the name of some Spanish intellectual. No, I said it's East. I said it clearly. 17th century Jesuit priest. I said it very clearly. You're making me self-conscious. I said it very clearly. I'm not a fancy intellectual like you. That's not a fancy intellectual term. I'm just a sleazy late night comic. Is that what you're trying to say, Quentin? Fine. I eventually came down to film buff. Yeah.

But the reason that they put Buster Keaton ahead of the other two is because he was the first one of that group, even with Chaplin, who could do anything he wanted with a camera, was like...

Let me use the camera to make a joke. Right. Let me use cinema itself to be the joke. Which was my point about 1917. Using the camera itself as a way. Now, maybe I got it wrong. You didn't get it wrong. I put it to a higher microscope, but you didn't get it. You're not wrong. You're not wrong. And Paul McCartney knows songwriting better. I'm just saying, for the layman, that was my point, exactly what you said. Using the camera itself.

Well, I'm all down with it. Like I said, if they did it 15 minutes ago every single time, I would be more impressed. But more importantly, how upsetting is it that Brad Pitt at 55 was so, like, hot in your movie? Right? I mean, that's not fair.

Well. You were like, if we shoot him in this angle, like, is there really a bad angle to shoot him? I mean, are they using tricks? Now, you're just talking about the tricks in 1917. Yeah. What are you using on Brad Pitt? Nothing. Nothing. Nothing at all. No, no. It never made me feel more like a 70s filmmaker where I'm like lining up a shot and then I'm looking through the viewfinder and I might as well be seeing Robert Redford. I might as well be seeing Steve McQueen.

For a guy, there's nothing like a revealing and true to form, true to life bro love movie. Because every relationship we've had is a mixed bag. I mean, that's just life on earth. I mean, no marriage has no fights and no hurts and no romance. Okay, so, but with bros, no. I have no bad memories of me and Jimmy being

It was always good. Maybe we had one fight in 1983 or something. And it's just like when you die and who's going to be your pallbearers, a lot of it, maybe this is antediluvian thinking, but a lot of it's going to be your bros who are there all along. Of course it's going to be your wife if you're still married. Of course, of course, yeah. And so to see two guys who have this sort of

but still real love for each other. And like, I acknowledge you do your thing. I do my thing. They compliment each other. Yeah. You know, I mean, Brad Pitt is perfect as the guy who's like, I don't have to be, I don't have to be the star because I'm cooler. Even as the guy who's not the star. To me, that's the big takeaway. Not that Leonardo DiCaprio isn't cool, but I think even he would say, yeah,

No, he's full of angst where Brad is Zen. Exactly. The true epitome of, like, if you're going to buy Zen, Brad's interpretation of it is pretty fucking perfect. Right, and I think they're playing the right characters. Yeah, yeah. You wouldn't want them to switch them like Brando did in... Yeah, yeah. Remember when he switched roles in Mutiny on the Bounty? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like halfway through the movie? Right, uh-huh. You know what? I think...

I think I should be playing the king and he should be playing Sir Lancelot. I should be the hero, all right? And you should be Captain Bly the... I don't know what I was thinking for the first six weeks of principal photography. I was playing the wrong part. Anyway, my bad. Okay, so you're out. I literally had an actor, Jago and Shane came up to me. He's a terrific actor, but he came up to me and he goes, look, I was thinking about a different way that, like...

my relationship with the Brumhilde character could end. Oh, really? Oh, okay. What do you think? Well, I wrote it down, okay? So you can read it at your leisure. And so I read it and it's where... Yeah. He kind of saves the day. I'm reading it and he's like...

He has Brumhilde. He gives her her freedom papers. He sets her off. He never touches her. He doesn't touch her. And you wanted Django to be there. Well, yeah, exactly. So like the next place, this is all his. He comes to me. He goes, so what did you think of it? I go, what did I think of it? Oh, your rewrite where you're the hero? No.

Are you actually one of the villains? No, that's not okay. No, I'm not doing that. So the fact that you wanted Django to be the hero and the fact that you put his name in the title, are those connected? There's a random connection. Club Random is brought to you by Signal Wire.

Ever been on a typical video conferencing call with a bunch of people? It's virtually impossible to understand anyone, especially if they're all talking at once. You don't believe me? Remember what it was like the last time a bunch of you tried to sing happy birthday to grandma on a video call because we were all locked inside? Nobody was in sync because the latency sucked.

That's not the way it is with SignalWire. SignalWire has virtually zero audio and video latency, so you can see and hear others in real time, not a plug for my show, although you should be watching it. The guys behind SignalWire's technology are the same people who developed the tech behind Zoom and the Ring doorbell years ago.

Smart people. But since then, the technology has gotten so much better, so they decided to develop their own products as SignalWire. SignalWire's advanced communications platform allows product builders and developers to create more natural, real-time, interactive experiences. With SignalWire, everything from simple one-to-one video calls to interactive broadcasts like concerts or seminars or favorite giant virtual church gatherings

with thousands of participants, can be easily integrated into any app, product, or website. And the video and audio quality is far superior and uses less bandwidth so your computer won't freeze up. TV and film studios love using it for remote looping and audio recording. Imagine turbocharging your company's website, app, or other products by integrating SignalWire.

Visit SignalWire.com slash video to sign up for a free account and mention Bill Maher or Club Random to receive an additional 5,000 video minutes for testing your app for integration. Go to SignalWire.com slash video, integrate real-time video and audio into your app, product, or website, and be light years ahead with SignalWire. Go to SignalWire.com slash video today, or you can go to Bill Maher just nailed a fucking another dot-com commercial.

I have to say, you know, there are very few directors who, like, I could name all your movies easily without thinking about it in order. I can do that with a few musical groups. Like, I can tell you all the Beatles albums. Like, a lot of people could with the Beatles. Well, of a certain era. Other people, I'm clueless, but...

You know, I could say, oh, yeah, there was Please, Please Me, and then there was, you know, With the Beatles, and then The Hard Day's Night. I know them. I don't have to, like... You know an order of Rubber Soul. I haven't memorized them. I just know, yes, it was Rubber Soul, and then Revolver, and then Sgt. Pepper. I know the years. I could do that. That's very rare in any art form, but I could, without thinking about it, I haven't thought about it. I know that Reservoir Dogs was your first movie. I remember where I was. Yeah.

I remember 1994, Pulp Fiction. There was a girl who had like a snippet of that movie on her like outgoing message. Well, you remember. Which bothered me. Well, you remember it was like, so we're editing Pulp Fiction.

This is not just a dick-sucking contest, but... I would hardly call it a contest. But the thing is, I'm editing Pulp Fiction, and I'm watching this show...

politically incorrect on Comedy Central that I think is just amazing. And I like it so much that I'm going to my editor, Sally Minky, and I'm like, hey, you know what they said last night? Every day, you know what they said this night? You know what they said this? You know what they said that? And then after like two weeks of it, I go down to, I think you guys, did you guys shoot out of New York? We did. Okay, so you shot out of New York, but you were having an L.A. week.

And you were like, so I didn't know you were in town. And you happened to be probably shooting in Television City. All right. But we still are. Yeah. And so I'm at some local bar. I remember. Oh, I'm at the fucking Olive or something. The Olive. The Olive. I know it well. I mean, I knew it well. I'm at the Olive. And all of a sudden, it's like you're there, but you're like just there. You're there with your crew. You've just finished your show. You're drinking. You're having a good time. I've just finished the fucking episode. Right.

I'm like, oh my God, Bill, but you don't know who the fuck I am. No, no, I did. We at Politically Incorrect were so buoyed by your fandom. You were our first fan. I swear to God.

We wore that like a badge of honor. We dined out on that. Oh, good deal, man. I did. Absolutely. It was like Quentin Tarantino likes us. The New York Times, by the way, the last time I ever got any publicity in that paper was when that paper, when that show went on the air about a year. And, you know, they like to cover new. And it was like the headline, it was like in their art section, like,

a .02 rating, and no Morton Kondracki, who was a panelist on one of those roundtable news shows that were big. Remember the one Dana Carvey used to imitate? John McLaughlin. Yeah, yeah. You, Eleanor Cloutier. It was just very funny. The impression was so much better than the show. No, exactly. No, if the show was that exciting. But there was a lot of that point, counterpoint. Jane, you're ignorant slut. So, yeah.

Oh, no, I forgot what we were talking about. No, you... You were talking about... These clove cigarettes. Yeah. What the fuck they're putting in them? I have a feeling it's not cloves. No, it was interesting what you were talking about. I know. I know.

And now I can't remember at all what it was. I can't remember what we were talking about. I had it, but then you muddied the waters, and now I let it go. You know what? It's like a butterfly. It'll come back. That's how I always say it. I always tell the kids who come to me for advice after we sing at church,

I say, you know, because this younger generation has too much angst. And I'm like, I learned something a long time ago. Happiness is like a butterfly. If you chase it, you'll never get it. But if you stand still, it'll land on your head. Good night, ladies and gentlemen. This has been The Craft Music Hall.

Oh, I was watching this movie, McKenna's Gold. Oh yeah, I've seen McKenna's Gold. Of course you have. That's why I thought of you. McKenna's Gold. It's so your era. It's hard to watch. I still have to say the thing that I wanted to say to you during your show that I didn't. So don't forget, let me forget that. You go now. McKenna's Gold. It's hard to watch this movie. Not...

Not think of you doing a tribute. Doing a tribute slash parody. Yes. You know, because that, you know, you always cut that line perfect, like where you're like, it's sort of making fun of it, but we still, but more than that, we love it. Well, because...

No, well, thank you very much on that. It's so true. It is where I'm coming from. It's what you want to get in the audience. It's like, yes, I can, because we are two people. If you're just charling at it, then you're not coming from the place that I'm presenting it from. We are always the person we are in the present and the person we came from.

And the person we came from is less sophisticated. So, like, you can do something from our past, and it's like, oh, I remember when I loved that. Yes, I was a little more of a dummy, and it's a little more naive, but it's still beautiful in its own way. And now I can look back on it and love it and not in a snarky way. No, but that's actually a very good description of the most actually nuanced part about what I do. Right. Right.

Yeah, that's not the, that's, that's. Very nuanced. Yeah, no, that's, that's in the, that's in the crevices. That's in the cracks of, or in the folds of, of, you know, of what I do. Yeah. No, it's like, I had to watch a movie every year. Like Hugh Hefner famously used to watch Casablanca every year.

Now, you know, he was born in 1925. That came out in 1943. I mean, it's one of the classics. Usually, you know, when they do those lists of great movies, it's one or two. You know, it's like, so he would show it every year. I could watch that over and over again. I've seen it three times. When it comes on, I resist it because I'm like, you know what? I want to give it a little time. You know, you can burn anything out.

But it would really be on that list of movies I could watch over and over again. But speaking of Casablanca, I love the way I'm taking both parts of this conversation. Speaking of Casablanca, are you ever bothered by movies that make it very successful but make absolutely no sense? That movie makes no sense.

Casablanca in particular? Well, because he has the letters of transit. Yeah. Which allow you to get out of the country, which is occupied by Nazis, who are sticklers for the law. And as long as you have the letters of transit, well, we're not the kind of people who just use brute force. Yeah, okay, well, you've got the papers. I see.

The whole premise. We're kind of really all about bureaucracy, so... And killing people. They're Nazis. Yeah, but they're equal. Equal. Killing and bureaucracy. But that's a stupid movie. And yet it works. Yeah. Isn't it? What is that? What do you think? What is the...

Well, I've actually had an interest. Charisma, you can't buy it. Well, look, when it comes to older classic movies from the 30s and the 40s, that's just a different time period. On the other hand, I was watching a couple of different 70s movies, and I was surprised that I had...

a different response to them. So I watch, and I remember seeing this when this came out. I see Norma Rae. Oh yeah. Now I remember seeing Norma Rae in 1979 when it came out. All right. And oh yeah, Sally feels really good in this. And it was like a good kind of movie for 1979. One of the better movies of the year. All right. To come from the flying nun. Yeah. Yeah.

Finally gets it. Academy Award nominee in 10 years. And it was like she was going to get the, and she was like, she was our new powerhouse actress, and she was going to get the Academy Award. It was great. So I watched the film like two years ago, sometime in the, maybe even a year and a half ago. So I watched the movie again. Remember this picture where she's up with the sign? Yeah, yeah, she got the union sign. Yeah. So I'm watching the movie, and I'm like, well, wait a minute.

Okay, this town depends on this factory. Okay, and what we don't have now is we don't have factories that are giving everybody in the fucking town jobs. And even the people who don't have jobs in the factories, it's factory adjacent, the jobs. Right, exactly. It creates the entire community, and maybe like two other

neighboring communities after it. - Precisely. - She wants to bring a union there. Other people in the factory, the other workers don't want the union. They understand that their entire livelihood is connected to this factory making a profit. And they understand that.

It's not just this Nazi premise. They understand that this is a fragile balance. It's almost a movie that makes the case for the conservative argument that liberals think they know what's best for you. Yeah. Which is sometimes true. And sometimes they do know what's best for you. And sometimes they do, but to look at this movie...

about this factory that would be a godsend in any single community that we can come up with. No, it's so true. You know another movie that makes no sense that's like a huge, like, big fucking movie? And I love it, by the way. And you're not supposed to love it anymore, but fuck you. Gone with the Wind. Oh, which one? Not which one, but what part? Gone with the Wind. Well...

What part that I would like to play? I'd like to play Rhett Butler. Rhett Butler has the most amazing speech. No, but you sounded like you were going to say what was wrong with it. Let me do Rhett Butler's speech for you. Okay. And then if you want to cast me, I'm not going to convince you to continue your career. I'm not going to convince you to put me in it. No, I don't want to do that. But...

Rhett Butler has this speech. You have an actor's ego. I know you do. Of course. Well, everybody in show business does. Even the writers. No, but you have an actor's ego. You know you could have gone farther as an actor if you wanted to. I could have gone farther as an actor in a limited type of acting. TV.

Club Random is brought to you by ExpressVPN. You may not know this, but your internet service provider can see every single website you've ever visited. That's fucking terrifying. That's why even when you're at home, you should never go online without using ExpressVPN. ExpressVPN is an app that reroutes your internet connection to secure a service so your internet provider can't see what you're doing.

ExpressVPN also keeps all of your information secure by encrypting 100% of your data with the most powerful encryption available. It's up and running in one click and keeps you protected. ExpressVPN is available on all your devices, phones, computers, smart TV. So there's no excuse really for you to not be using it. Protect your online activity today with the VPN rated number one by Business Insider.

Visit my exclusive link, expressvpn.com slash random, and you get an extra three months free on a one-year package. That's e-x-p-r-e-s-s vpn.com slash random. Expressvpn.com slash random to learn more. Club Random is brought to you by Solo Stove. Let's talk about Solo Stove. So these are...

fire pits that make your backyard fantastic. It's the perfect reason to get outside with friends and family and build lasting memories around the fire pit, unless you drink too much. But that's a different ad. Solo stove fire pits are brilliantly engineered with premium stainless steel and an airflow system that maximizes efficiency while minimizing smoke. It's easy to light with a few bits of starter. Your fire is blazing in minutes. I like things that are easy to light and blazing.

And it's portable. You can take Solo Stove with you on camping trips. It makes me wish I liked to camp. Ever sit around a fire pit with a big fire going? The wind changes direction and you're inhaling burning hot wood chips. Not with Solo Stove because it's smokeless. My friend Jimmy got one and was going on and on about how easy it was to unbox and then start a fire. And there's no messy cleanup after. There's no big hunks of charred wood, just pure white ash.

Shop now and get up to 30% off Fire Pits all month long. And use promo code RANDOM at checkout to get an extra $20 off. Plus a lifetime warranty and free 30-day returns. Just go to SoloStove.com. And remember, you get $20 off when you use promo code RANDOM. We were talking about stupid movies and Gone with the Wind. And I was, ah, I got it. And I was going to do... That was as far back as you went? Okay, cool. My Clark Gable. Now this is Clark Gable, who was the coolest...

He was one of the, right. Don't you think? I mean. I never loved him, but yes, he was definitely of that era. He was cool. Come on. I never loved the dude, all right? But he was always like who, like my grandmother loved. Okay, so Gone with the Wind is a stupid movie because Scarlett, she marries the bad boy. Yeah. Rhett Butler. Yeah. Right? He's the bad boy. She pines for Ashley Wilkes. Yeah. Who is the stiff guy.

Well, that's always been the problem. In reality, you'd marry the stiff and be pining for the bad boy. It makes no sense. No, no, no. But it doesn't matter because it's Clark Gable. Well, in a weird way, though, it sets the standard for that type of story because the thing about it is after that, somebody like Pauline Kael can make a comment and say the Rhett Butler role versus the Ashley Wilkes role, and you know exactly what she means.

Was she still around when you were making it? No, she just quit. The year before I made my first movie, she quit the business. What do you think she would have said?

We have no way of knowing. Well, I did. No offense. We have no way of knowing. It's kind of true. Come on. Well, she gave interviews. About you? Oh, and? Good? Yeah. Oh, good. Yeah, no, no, no. It was really cool. No, no. She was apparently like this. Why didn't she review it then if she was around to give interviews? Well, no. Well, she had officially retired, but then people would call her up and have lunch with her.

And they'd ask her what she thought about this movie or that movie, and she would just... But I remember that era when you were like the new... I mean, I'm telling you, the girl had your...

snippet of your movie on her answering machine. It bothered me to no end. I mean, you were like, it's very rare when there's the rock star treatment to a director. Yeah, that was, I had a good situation. It's interesting. You were a rock star director. Well, it was just, look, it was also really, it was just really lucky because

Because the whole American independent film movement happened to explode at the exact same time that the grunge independent alternative music thing exploded. I'm not familiar with the American independent what? No, no. My movie was part of the American independent. Is that an official thing? Yeah, well, yeah. It was just all of a sudden low-budget movies. All of a sudden people were thinking about that like the way you think about an independent rock record.

Okay. You know, the way people would think, you know, not just, you know, just not just the commercial stuff. Right. Oh, hey, look, people might think about American independent movie like the way you would think about a Little Reed album in the mid 70s. And so people start, you know, so that became. And that was the 90s. That was the 90s. That was, that was this thing. And before that, you're right. It was a little more bloated and.

Yeah, I mean, like, yeah, sex license videotape kind of changed a lot of things. Yes, right. You know? And then by the time I came in, then there was just like every year there was like another kind of success like that. It all didn't have to be American, but it's like, you know, there's mine and then there's train spotting. Like, what was those, what was those? I went to high school, I swear. What were those years like?

like for you, like those, the rock star years? Like, did you do a rock star lifestyle?

Yeah, kind of. Really? For a while. For a while. And it was easy to do. Give inquiring listeners all the details. No, I don't want to do that. No, I don't want to do that. But it was like... The correct answer, by the way. Yeah. But it was interesting because I was... What about teenage boys who want to live vicariously now and masturbate about the thought of what you were doing in 1994 and who we were doing it with? Could you give us...

You don't want to be nice to masturbating boys? What, are you heartless? See, the thing is, it was similar to like a rock star on tour because I was kind of going on the film festival tour. Keep talking slower. Yeah, so. So, hey, I'm in Holland over here and I'm in Brazil over here and I'm in Boston over there. What happened in Holland, though?

Oh, boy, those Dutch girls, boy. No, it was like, look, it was a really good time. I love this guy. Okay. It was a good time to meet me. I'm just fucking with you. But, okay. But that's what we were talking about. Oh, I'm with the wind. I am going to do my Clark Gable impression for you and get a part if it kills me. Okay, so...

What was cool about the Clark Gable role, Red Butler, in that movie, not only he looks great, but also he's the badass. Yeah.

And, you know, there's a great scene where she's trying to get him. Carol Burnett, remember the sketch she did? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. With the curtains and the window, that great line. She's doing a parody of the movie where Scarlett is trying to get Rhett back, but she is impoverished now from the war, but she wants to have a nice dress, so she takes the curtains off the windows and makes a dress out of it. And in the Carol Burnett sketch, she's still got the...

The curtain rod. Yeah. And heard the great line, oh, it's just something I saw on the window. Right? And Harvey Korman, flawless as Red Butler. Right? Okay. So in the real one, you know, he comes back and the way they shot it, like with the kiss, with the man's head almost on top of hers. You know, there was something very...

1939 about putting people in that position where the man is so over it. And she's puckering her lips and he goes, no, I don't think I will kiss you. Although you need kissing and badly. Ha ha ha!

We know in 1939 that kissing was fucking, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just the... That was like... It's so badass. Okay. But here's the real... That is very sad. But here's his best scene. Because he was like the voice of reason. I feel like in 1939, you could not get away with saying the controversial opinion that slavery was just wrong. Yeah. So Rhett Butler, he never quite says it, but he says...

It's a waste. I don't like waste. Like, that's as close as you could get in that era to condemning it. Yeah.

you know, waste of manpower or talent. It can be read in the minutia. It can be read in the larger... God forbid you just come out and say it's horrible to treat one group of people like animals. You know, that was just too controversial in 1939. Okay, so this is as far as... It's senseless. What?

He's as far as you could go with that. But so he's kind of like presented as the voice of reason. So there's that scene like about a half hour into it where they're at the, it's before the war, but they're at some southern plantation where Rhett is visiting. It's like a hundred foot.

Fucking guys in this library, you know. And they're all gung-ho to fight the war. And he's the asshole who's going to pour cold water on this. And the guy says, you know, like, war, war, war. And then they go, Mr. Butler, you've been to the North. What do you think? I think it's very hard to win a war with words, gentlemen. What are you saying? I'm saying there's not a cannon factory in the whole South.

Well, what difference does that make to a gentleman? Well, I'm afraid it's going to make a great deal of difference to a great many gentlemen. Mr. Butler, are you saying the Yankees can lick us? No, I'm not saying it. I'm saying it very plainly. They're a better crypt than we are. They've got factories and coal yards and shipyards and a fleet to bottle up our harbor and starve us to death. And all the South has is slaves and cotton and...

arrogance you're describing a really good movie and then they gone with the wind word for word I know I'm saying you're describing a really good movie well that's a good it's four hours it's not all that good but where does your set up to the bad part this is all really I'm giving you the best part

Oh, the name of this game is do the best part from Gone with the Wind? I thought you were explaining. I was explaining why. That was all really good. Right, because it's, you know why? Because it was a good movie. It's fucking Gone with the Wind. I wasn't trying to derail you. He was setting, he was, but like what we like about that is setting up a character. Yeah. Like we see,

Right from the beginning. They're all going home to go to war and this guy is like he's got his eye on reality It's a very what we don't have the industry the industry. No, that's what he's saying. Right? We don't have the cannon factory in the whole set. Yeah. Yeah, it's G obviously have the industry they it's all right there Well, there's a US Steel isn't Selznick the guy who cut that movie. Oh

He was the grand poobah of the movie. Okay. He's really the auteur. He is the auteur. Because there were several directors. Yeah, yeah. Wasn't George Cukor on there for a while? He worked there for a while, all right, and then... Now, he was a... I love it. He was gay. And you couldn't say that back then. They would say, he's a woman's director. Yes.

But he wasn't really, it was earned in his case because he was a very good woman's director. Because he was a gay man. But we can't say gay man. We can't say gay man. We have to say woman's director. But one of the things about him, though, was apparently he was let go because Clark Gable resented his attention to Janet Leigh's performance.

He was like, no, I want somebody who can, like, who will be as excited about me as Scarlett O'Hara. So they, you know, so they told George Cooke, okay, so no, we're going to replace you. Gable's having a hard time. With Victor Fleming? Yeah, with Victor Fleming. So they replaced him with Victor Fleming. But Janet Leigh

you know, called George Cooper and she goes, you can't leave. You're my director. Vivien Leigh. Vivien Leigh. That's what I mean. That's what I meant. Sorry, sorry. Vivien Leigh. Sorry, sorry about that. The kids are Googling and they're like confused. She was in the Psycho with Hitchcock in 1960. Sorry, that was a big mistake. Okay. Vivien Leigh. Thank you very much. Married Lawrence and Olivia. Yeah, married Lawrence and Olivia. So Vivien Leigh said, you can't leave. You know, you're my director. And so then he would get together with her and

in the night and kind of go over the next day's work. Typical gay man. Secretly getting together with a woman. Well, okay, so, by the way, this reminded me of what we were talking about. It could have been hours ago, could have been minutes ago, I don't know. But about movies that are stupid? Mm-hmm. Okay, so Gone With the Wind, stupid. You never said the stupid part, though. The stupid part is that I did. You don't remember.

That she pines, she's mad. Oh, no, that we talked about earlier. That's stupid. Here's why Casablanca is stupid. Oh, we talked about that, too. They have the letters of transit. Another stupid one, Titanic. The whole thing hinges on, at the end. They're not trying harder to get on the table? Is that what you meant? Oh, well, yeah. Okay, no, no.

You watch the entire movie. You go through the, you live through their entire life that they will not live together. You live with them. It gets to a half-hearted attempt. So half-hearted. Right. To the table. So true. Oh, wow.

- Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm freezing to death. We're gonna try this like a couple of more times. - It's like the voiceover is like, he saved me in every way that it was possible for a person to be saved.

Honey, knowing that you feel that way about me, could I get up on the raft? Yes, could you maybe move your ass a little bit here? Maybe we think just a little bit about the balance of the weight on the table. I need room for my stuff. I hate to be that girl, but I...

Yeah, okay, so... I mean, there's... But I love that movie, too. I mean, I don't mean to... There's so many... Like, the table could have been smaller. There's so many things that they could have done that have you not asked that question. No. The table happened to be... No, no, no. That table looks big enough for two people. It does. That's the problem. That's the problem. That's the problem. You hit on it. You know, I've been...

Doing this for... Thinking this for years. Yeah. That's the problem. They should have made the table a little smaller because otherwise it just looks like you're kind of being a dick about this. Absolutely. I mean, I was so with you when you wanted to get away from the rich asshole. You are with... You are with them. You are with them.

Every step of the way of the entire three-hour movie. And then all of a sudden you're right there with them. Wait a second. Try a little harder. Wait a second. Don't be the we.

I personally related to Billy Zane when he grabbed a child and said, I have a child. To me, that's the hero of this fucking thing. He gets off the boat by stealing a baby, claiming it's his. I mean, that's the American way. Okay, well, I have no idea what...

time it is. But... No, but you actually, you bust me because I say it all the time. I use it all the time, especially when I'm talking about movies, because I kind of learned it from Paul and Cale. I use the we. Use the what? I use the we. No, no, we want this. You want this. So I don't say I. No, I'm kidding. I mean, we do. I really don't admire Billy's name. No, but when I... No, no, no. But when I...

To me, that's the badass way to write critically. What kind of movies do you hate? Like, is there a type of kind... Like, for me, I will watch romantic comedy. Sometimes I only want to watch a romantic comedy. But I do find them... They dry my patience. And I don't have a lot of respect. It's a very...

you know, I mean, I guess the old school ones with like Spencer Tracy and Catherine Hepburn. I mean, were they great? No, there's some more. Well, the ones that are really funny kind of fall more into the category of screwball comedy, which is where the romantic comedies of the day came from. But it's always a, a, a,

man and a woman. Yeah, absolutely. And there's a flirtation. You mean like it happened one night? That's a good example of one. Bringing a baby is another good example of one. The Streisand Ryan O'Neill movie of 19 is a great one. Is that a remake? No, it's not a remake. But it is a tribute. Yeah, it's kind of a paraphrase remake.

All right. That's a special genre to myself. It's a paraphrase remake of the movie Bringing a Baby. Right. Cary Grant. Yeah, Cary Grant and Catherine Hepburn. And Jimmy Stewart. Oh, no, that's Philadelphia. No, that's Philadelphia, sorry. Right. Okay, but the thing is, like, a paraphrase remake is like the relationship that Dressed to Kill has with Psycho. Oh. All right. Where it's like, okay, so it's not a remake of Psycho. I see. But... Right.

There's no way you're watching Dress to Kill and not thinking about Psycho. Right.

But the director knows that you're watching Dressed to Kill thinking about Psycho. So he can actually hit Psycho points because you're on the same wavelength now. And now he's kind of remaking the movie without remaking it, just doing his own twist on it. I think it's called a ripoff. No, no, no. And when it's that done, when it's done like that, there's a ripoff. But Dressed to Kill and Psycho, no, he's riffing. Somebody once said originality.

is undetected plagiarism. Uh-huh. That's kind of true, right? Yeah, yeah. I mean, nothing is completely... Well, no, I've always, like, said, no, everything is to be kind of harvested and taken. Absolutely. I mean, it's all about entertaining people. Mm-hmm.

There is no business. Right? Well, okay, okay, but now, well, you're in the one profession where that's actually not the case because everybody, every comedian is very strong about their jokes. No, I came up with this. I came up with this routine. I came up with this bit. But in movies, I feel like, in any art form. No, no, no, there is latitude. I'm saying, but you're in a thing where there is no latitude.

No, there's no, you're right. You have to keep getting laughs. That's true. You can, you can fumpher around a lot more in almost any other art form. No, but you can't take a good joke from somebody and like. No, and you can't do that either. Even if you say it differently in a cool way, and I think a better way, it's no, that's his joke. Right. But. Does that bother you? Are they like, oh, wow, man, I wish I had that joke because I could fucking kill with that joke.

No. No, I never. I mean, there are jokes you think, oh, well, I wish I could have written that. But the good jokes for you are ones that other people couldn't do. That's why they're the best ones for you. Yeah, yeah. I mean, the best jokes in my act now, I just did a special, and we taped it, not on yet, sent it out in April in Miami. And the most satisfying jokes are character jokes. Yeah.

I remember when I did my first series, Gary David Goldberg, the producer, he said, you know, like the sixth episode, he said, wow, you did great tonight because that laugh you got, that was a character laugh. That's usually a second season laugh, you know, when the audience knows who the character is. So if I say something like there's a line in my act about like, now I've never been one to make fun of religion, right?

Huge laugh. I mean, it's only a laugh because they know me for a long time. Yeah, yeah. And they know how I think. Okay, that's not something I'm going to have at 35. Yeah. Yeah, right on. You know? I mean, we all... No, you talked about it on your show, actually, about how...

You know, look, you've lived a long time in comedy and you talked about, hey, look, it's cool showing up at the theater knowing that these are people who could do anything in the world they wanted to do and they decided to see me tonight. Right, right. No, they know who I am. They bought a ticket. This is a big night out for them. Right, babysitter. Yeah, man. Sometimes hotel. This is a good audience. They like me so much they're going to do this. They pre-like me. Yeah. Yeah.

There's nothing like being pre-liked. And there's nothing like the opposite when you're starting as a stand-up. It's the hardest thing. I spent at least 10 years struggling with

the first moment, you know, as opposed to, oh, we like you. And it's just like, how do you break the ice and like communicate to people? So for 10 years, you were at least, you know, probably more. Yes. It was a big struggle that your opening line. I think my opening line when I first started was I'm from the East. Like,

I can't remember. Something like Japan. You know, I mean, it was like the Osaka area. You know, I mean, it was a, you know, you're just surviving. Well, just, you know, you're surviving and like it worked. It communicated something about me. I'm from the East, you know, and it wasn't, it didn't offend anyone, which was certainly a problem I probably still do have.

But, oh, I forgot what we were talking about. Like, it was so important. This is what we're talking about. I'm just imagining, like, you're the piano player playing you on. Yeah.

The piano player is playing you off and you come in and you say that line. Like I'm working in burlesque. Yes, Quentin, the piano player is playing me off. At the comedy store, there's a piano player who plays you off and a God-planned piano player plays you off. And I followed a stripper. I didn't just come up with some bullshit. That's what they do at the comedy store. It is, it is.

Okay, so tell me. You're right. And Catch a Rising Star. Yes, exactly. I was making an inside joke. No, it's true. I know, I'm sorry. But it's like when I started, like Catch a Rising Star was my main club. And it was about, I mean, it's not, the whole club was about the size of this room. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it was a small stage, but they didn't have a piano. And Richard Belzer was the big, I mean, Richard Belzer was in a,

And if he still wanted to get up and do it tomorrow, he would be an amazing stand-up comedian. Oh, absolutely. Yeah, I know. Right, okay. So he would, like, jump on the piano. And just the fact that there was a piano meant he could, like, do so many different things because you could do musical bits. Oh, yeah, yeah. I mean, he actually, it's funny because now that Bob Dylan is 80, one of Belzer's bits was Bob Dylan as an old man.

Once upon a time, you dressed so fine, you threw the bums a dime, then you missed a big shot. Which was funny because Bob Dylan was 30. Yeah, right. And now that he's actually 80, it's not so fucking funny. It just is not so fucking funny. I truly believe, you know, I'm not depressed by age, but I do find it the most fascinating topic.

Because we evolve, we change, we go through these passages. I mean, like, you were like the rock star of 1994, which we don't want to talk about in great detail. But obviously that's not where you are now, nor would you want to be. Yeah. Right? I mean, you're married. Yeah.

And what's with the... You're not in Israel? You are in Israel? Well, no, no, no. It's like we've got homes in Los Angeles and we have a home in Tel Aviv. So about half and half? Yeah. That's the perfect solution. The idea is half and half. The world keeps conspiring against us to stop that, though, because it's like... What, you have a summer home in Kiev? No, no, no. We go to...

My wife just has a baby. We're all set up in Israel. Yeah, well, it was two years ago. Okay, but yeah, she just has a baby. It's still a baby to me. Yeah. And then all of a sudden... Is it talking yet? Oh, no, no, no. He's two. He's actually... No, he's totally talking. Did they talk at two? Yeah, they talked. Really? Yeah. What did they say? I bet nothing interesting. Well, it's...

What's interesting about him was, and I'm here to tell little kid stories with you. No, I know not to do that. Very hard.

But there was an interesting thing about when he wasn't talking, how well he was getting his point across, how well he was making himself understood. How? Just, you know, like a whole lot of pointing, a whole lot of uh, uh, uh, uh, uh. Mike Chaplin. Yeah. A master of Panama. Yeah, but like, oh, wow. Or was he more of a buster keeper? Well, yeah, it was kind of. Was he hanging from a clock? He was both. He was whatever worked. Okay. He was whatever worked.

But, you know, it was interesting actually to like, oh, well, I really kind of know what he wants. I really kind of know what he's thinking about. And then actually then to hear the first group of words that he starts saying, because those first groups of words, they're not just random words. No, he is learning these words to be understood. But none of this happens right in the first year. Not really. First year.

First year is just a puddle of mewling, puking liquids, bodily functions, right? I mean, not that we blame the child for that, but I mean, it just is what it is, right? That's really only the first four months.

Four months? Yeah, he's... Well, they're not potty trained at five months. They're not potty trained. My son's not potty trained. Well, to me, there's either potty trained or I'm wiping your shit for you. I mean, there's no middle ground there. No, no, no. When he's potty trained, it's just like, okay, get in the car, all right? Now you're on an errand with him. Are they potty trained at two?

No, they're usually probably trained like around two and a half. Have you thought about a doggy door? They could just go out on their own, take care of their business. I mean, if the dog can fucking learn to do it, why can't your fucking kid learn to go? We're not even dealing with that yet. What year do they go to the bathroom on their own?

That would be the key one. No, I think that's normally around a year, two and a half. So you don't think it's too late for me to have kids? You don't... Just say yes. Yes. Because it plainly is. Nor do I have any desire to do that. Well, no, it's interesting because...

But I, well, because me and you were in the same boat for a really long period of time. So I would imagine, you know, so like I, from time to time, I would imagine you having a conversation with me about this subject. Why? Well, because I just kind of know where you're coming from on it. And I knew where I was coming from on it. And if you were going to talk to me about it. I'd be honest about it. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, and, um,

And it's really interesting because I had kind of heard all this stuff before about, oh, once you have a kid, that's like the most important thing in the world. And I was always kind of like, well, no, I don't want it to be the most important thing in the world. I got shit to do. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

I got fucking movies to make. I don't want this fucking kid to be the most important thing in the world. Right. I'm so glad to hear you say that. Oh, are you just quoting your mind? No, I'm saying that. I'm hoping that's real. No, that's completely real. That's why I waited so long, all right, before I did it. Oh, I gave you 1942. Can you stand it? Yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah, absolutely, I can.

I hate to have you slumming away from whatever that other stuff is. No, no, no worries. That's not slumming. You're actually bringing me up on that. Oh, good. Okay. Well, I mean, like, see, you crossed a bridge that most people do at some point that I've never even approached, you know, which I'm just talking about the desire, you know, to...

It's just, it's, I don't think there's anything more basic because I certainly known a lot of guys who were total players. Yeah. Even when they were with someone, married or otherwise, players. But when it came to being a dad, they took it so serious. Yeah. And that's really what it was about. Yeah. The desire for a child.

was more than the desire for a mate. Well, you know, it was interesting because I had... Sorry to say. No, I had a period in the early 2000s where I was like, totally had baby fever.

Where, like, the friend that you have that has a kid, you're, like, way too involved thinking about that kid. Do you think that comes from having a hardscrabble childhood of your own? No, I think it was just this period. It was a period where I... But doesn't that come from somewhere like that? No, I think it was that period of life. I mean, you didn't have a... I had a leave-it-to-beaver upbringing. You did not. Not necessarily. You were not leave-it-to-beaver. No.

I was leaving. No, but you're drilling my thought. Let me finish. So it's like. Well, that's my job. So, you know, it was like I had this, you know, this baby fever. And then all of a sudden, after like a year or two years, and like during that period of time, I was like, hey, if the waitress at the Mexican restaurant, if she ends up getting pregnant, well, I guess that's just how it's supposed to be.

I wasn't trying to make that happen. I think I know that restaurant. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But if it were to happen, if it were to happen, okay, well, I guess that's the way it's supposed to be. But then the fever broke. Really? Then the fever broke. That's odd. And then I remember telling that to Howard Stern, and then the fever broke, and I was like, well, good. Good for you. Right, right.

And then I had another 20 years or so. Yeah. And then... But maybe because you fell in love with someone. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. That came because it was the right woman and it was the right situation and it was the right time. Everything was right. If it's not too personal as such a lifelong bachelor, how do you...

What was it that went in your mind like, oh, this is the right person. Like this is the different element I've been waiting for. I think it was the – it's a well-asked question, the way you put it. I think there's two things. I think there's her and I think there's something else. I think maybe two or three years earlier –

I was like, okay, if I meet the right girl, I might be ready now for something like this. Now if it were to happen, where before I might have put the brakes on, now I might not put the brakes on so much. Now I'm very open to it. And then I even had a couple of girlfriends in that time. I'm like, is this the one? Is this the one? They weren't. But just even the fact that I was open to the idea. Yeah.

That they were the one. I'm just very glad to find out that you had this memorable bachelorhood because like you, your image is sort of like this nerdy guy who's like too hunkered down writing the screenplay at Swingers to actually enjoy your success. I'm so glad to be finding out that you did enjoy your success because you, I remember thinking that and then one time, I don't remember what year this was, don't ask me, these clove cigarettes are crazy. Yeah.

But, uh, like you were, I, it was some award show party, you know, uh, this town really only parties during awards. Yeah. And, and there was some event and I saw you getting into a limo at the end of the event with some very hot Hollywood actress who was looked to be quite inebriated. And I thought, Oh, good. He deserves that, you know, just for Jackie Brown. Uh,

Which, always one of my favorites. Oh, thank you, man. That one really got me. Because, again, it was more of a story and less of violence. Yeah, yeah. You know? And I always thought, like, you sometimes underestimate yourself. And then, like...

Almost no violence until the end of... And then it's so much fun. Well, but okay, you're highlighting violence a little bit too much. I mean, there's like highlighting slapstick comedy depending on who you're talking about, depending if you're talking about Blake Edwards or somebody like that, where it's like...

It's an element that people make a big deal about, and it's one of the things that I do well. But it's not, you know, it's nothing to be rationed or overindulged. It's a simple, it's an element. I didn't know about that. I wouldn't.

I mean, as a viewer, I don't know if I could sign on to that. I think it can be rationed. I don't think there's not one movie of yours where I would take out one frame of it because that's the movie. Well, that's kind of the context. It totally appropriately builds up to it. Yeah, yeah.

Like, I felt like, again, I would have felt cheated if there wasn't, like, the Manson killings in reverse at the end of Hollywood. I would have. And also it was just, as always, just entertainingly done. Again, I think we began talking about it earlier.

Just entertain people. Just fucking entertain people. I mean, like you entertain people. I might gild the lily too much by making my movies too long. But they're entertaining. Well, that's one of the things. I'm coming from an entertain the audience point of view. Exactly. I know you are. So am I. I always do what's best for the audience. I mean, there are some people who are like,

I never fired a writer. Well, I fired plenty. Yeah, yeah. Not because I'm a bad guy, because the audience comes first. Yeah. That's what we're doing. Why are we here? You know, it was like, I was reading a book that had this director in it, famous director, and they were talking about how, obviously it's from the 70s, and how he was taxing on the crew. Yeah.

Because he was trying to make a really terrific movie. And look, he can be wrong and he can be misguided or whatever, but he's trying to make a really terrific movie. And he's a known director. But there is a reality in this business. And that is, this business makes a lot of material. They shoot a lot of shows. It's not the job to just put people in employment.

Sometimes the people in employment are working to a higher purpose to make something bigger than themselves. Hopefully, and they can be wrong and we can all be wrong, but in some cases that's a movie. Usually you get that from a crew. Yes. Unless you're working on a piece of shit. However, if you don't want to be held to that kind of exacting standards, you can make the $6 million man. Right.

You can make Hardcastle and McCormick. Now you've gone too far, my friend. Because those jobs are out there. The industry is built on those jobs. So if you want to work at that level. I always say. But you can't work at that level when you're working with certain people who are trying to

Push the envelope of the art. There's no shame in living in the valley, and there's no shame in taking detective work on CBS. Yes. If you believe that, you can succeed in this town. I was just talking to your guys before I came on. You're making it sound like I'm Elvis. The Elvis bop. Yeah. Sonny and Red. Yeah, me and Red West were having a talk. Red West. Yeah.

So I mentioned being politically incorrect back in the Comedy Central days, and I actually was able to remember every single one of my guests on the roundtable except for one. Who? Okay, so, well, I don't know. Who do you remember? Okay, so, okay, I remember the first one. Jimmy Walker. No, that would have been awesome. All right. No, the first one was Dick Clark. Dick Clark!

That's Dick Clark? Seriously? Dick Clark. Corbin Bernson. No! Corbin Bernson. Oh, I love it. And Margaret Smith. Who's that? The stand-up comedian, Margaret Smith. Oh, yes. I thought you was a senator. This is like... Okay, so that was the first one. Oceans ago. Okay, so that was the first one.

The second one, okay, I can remember two of them, but I can't remember the third one. It was Jimmy Walker. No, it wasn't Jimmy Walker. Again, I wish. And it would have been better for the show if it was. It was me, Janine Garofalo. Well, I love her. And...

What's the guy who was the host of Lifestyles? Robin Leach. Oh, that's so 90s. Robin Leach. I can't remember who the other person was. Is he still with us, Robin Leach? I don't know. But I was actually also saying that was a moment where I had a total...

oh, wow, this is a 70s talk show moment. Right. Because, look, I grew up, like, coming home from school and going and watching Dinah Shore and Mike Douglas, you know, when I got home. I'm telling you. Whoever I liked, you know. When you lent your stamp of approval to our little politically incorrect show with the .02 rating, it was like the, I'm telling you, it was the shot in the arm that that staff received.

We dined on that. That's awesome. It's like Quentin Tarantino. You knew how excited I truly was when I bumped into you guys. But you were the rock star director at that moment. So that the rock star director liked our little show. I'm sure that's why the New York Times wrote their little .02 rating article. Look, I got to say, right at that time, you guys, it was like a...

It was different. It was like I plugged in a light with a wet hand. I was like, I really... I'll tell you something really interesting that says so much about our culture, I think. When I started doing that show in 1993, the big...

worry about it. The big critique was, you can't do a show where the host tells you his political opinions, because that was what the template always was. You didn't know Johnny Carson's political opinions, even into Letterman and Leno. They didn't really ever, they sort of, Leno, I don't know, maybe he's a Republican. He played it straight down the middle. That's how they all did it. So when I was like saying, no, I think the public can

fucking withstand it if they don't agree with me. They just got to like you. And it was true. Now, you can't be a late night host unless they do know your opinion. Exactly, yeah. And it's all about that. It's not about being funny. It's about saying the correct opinion for the audience you're working for. So it's completely flipped. I've heard you talk about this. That's pretty interesting. I've heard you talk about on your show, The Gutfeld Show,

Talk to me more in detail. What do you think about him per se? I mean, we did a bit on that. I don't remember talking about it because honestly, I don't know it, but I know what it is. I knew enough to do a bit about it, which I remember it was very funny. Can't remember what the jokes were, but it was good. Have you watched a couple episodes of his show? No, but what's... You haven't watched it? Not even two? Not two seconds.

Not two seconds! No. That's why we didn't do a bit on it. An issue on it. We did a bit. The bit was based on the idea that it was out doing some other shows, and it was a conservative comedy show. Now, I've talked about this subject many times, because I've been asked many times, why doesn't conservative comedy work? The answer is very, again, indicative, I think, of the times we live in. It didn't work in the past, but...

Because liberals weren't doing anything funny enough to make fun of. And I would use the example of Dennis Miller, who I have the greatest admiration for as a comedian. I think he's a state-of-the-art kind of craftsman when he does his thing. But he went hard right with his politics. And so he was doing bits about how Nancy Pelosi, at a moment in history when Sarah Palin

was giving people on the left tons of material because she was an idiot. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. Nancy Pelosi is not an idiot. So it rang hollow. Yeah. They didn't have anything to work with. Greg Gutfield is working now. There's something to work from. Mm-hmm.

I mean, the Trumpers are always going to be the worst. The Republicans don't believe in environment or democracy, so fuck them. But the left is goofy in a lot of ways. So there is material now for someone like Rick Gutfield to work with. Maybe he's doing it and I'm missing it, but I'm going by what they say in my writer-producer meeting, and they're like, you know,

It's also the fact that conservatives are just not fucking good at comedy. That's the punchline. They're also just not good at comedy. Well, look, the... Because they have material. They have... Speak! It has the feeling of... It does have a feeling of the... Whatchamacallit? The Wally George show. All right. But that's actually insincere because there is a...

I don't want to talk about his show for that much on this show. Oh, I don't care. No, but I don't want to spend all my time talking about it. I'm much more concerned that we're out of pot. Are you done with this? No, I'm good with that. Can we share this? Yeah, we can culture. You're not paranoid about the fucking virus, are you? No, no, no. Oh, good. The Oscar party is Sunday. Yeah. Are you going? I'm going to the Governor's Awards.

What's that? That's that... It sounds stuffy. No, no, no. That's what they give the Lifetime Achievement Awards. You're getting a Lifetime Achievement? No, no. Sam Jackson has. Oh, I'm so... Oh, he deserves one. And you did so much for him. It's really, really cool. You've done, I mean, like, among your other credits, Career Reviver. I mean, that is like your métier.

For a while, anyway. That was definitely. Jackson and Travolta. The dude in Jackie Brown. Robert Forster, yeah. Forster. He was in lots of movies after that. Yeah. Is he still with us? He passed away a couple years ago. Oh, okay. Yeah.

No, but it was like, no, he was doing straight-to-video movies, and so it was really powerful to say. It was great. Like among powers, like I could, you know, to be able to go, your career will now be resurrected. That's a great... Well, no, well, it was interesting. Well, it was a hallmark of, like, the fan place I was coming from, all right? Like, oh, I know who these actors are because I'm watching...

Those exploitation movies that those guys are doing. But the point being, though, is I remember way after I did Jackie Brown, maybe sometime before Kill Bill, I was ending up being on some sort of an air flight with some...

famous, well-known film financier, international guy who puts together... A guy like Milton. Yeah, somebody like, but not a guy like him who usually is kind of an art first, but a less art first kind of fellow. But that same idea. And it goes, Tarantino, let me ask you a question. Now everything is said and done. Do you wish, when it came to Jackie Brown, that you had not have done it with Pam Greer and Robert Forrester?

But if you had hired bigger stars. Why was that even a question? Well, because it's like it could have been bigger. Oh, I see. That's where he's coming from. I see. And I go, well, you know, we made $30 million with the movie starring Pam Grier and Robert Forrester. I thought that was actually pretty fucking good. Who would have been like... No, no, no, no. But his point, though, was... He goes...

Well, that's all you. Well, great. Great. Yes. Okay. I can make a movie with Pam Greer and Robert Forrester and I could do well because I made it. Right. Well, that's the reason to be fucking famous. Because you're a rock star director. That's true. But like, let me ask you, this is 1997. Who would have been the stars of the day in that year?

If you wanted to, you know, star-fucked cast it. Like, who were they suggesting? Like, Robert Foster, who in 1997 would have been that 45-year-old? No, in 97, no, I'll tell you exactly. It would have been Angela Bassett and Robert De Niro.

I got to say, I think this guy's got a point. I think he's got a fucking point. I hate to say it. I love you so much, but I think this guy's got a fucking... No, I mean, I love it as it is. And Pam Greer was the right choice in reviving her career. And, you know, you got her like she was still hot. Yeah. You know, that was kind of important. Well, and yeah, yeah.

No, very true. But she still was? Still hot after that entire period of time, and she was still hot. She was still the same woman. She was still the same. What was she in, like, in the day? Like, Dolomite? No, no, no, no. But, like, Dolomite was that genre. Well, it's the genre, but you're making, like, yeah, yeah, but you're picking, like, the lowliest, you know.

You mean that one, right? You mean that one, like? You mean that one? I remember walking on 42nd Street in New York City when it was the porn district that also had, and there was like movies like Black Hitler, Fuhrer of Harlem. Yeah. Just like crazy. Yeah. Crazy shit. From China with death. Yeah. The Tongue Fathers. Just crazy shit.

But that was that era that, like, I mean, Eddie Murphy just made that movie about Dolomite that was terrific, you know, and it was like that was a genre. Okay, so, okay. Pam Griffin movies were better than that. They were better than Dolomite. What did she do? She did coffee. Coffee, yeah, right. Coffee. They call her coffee because she'll cream you.

Is that right? That was the tagline. You can't write that. Yeah, nobody sleeps when they mess with coffee. Somebody did actually write that. Yeah, somebody did write that, which is sadder. And then it's unofficial sequel, Foxy Brown. Foxy Brown, of course. Because Foxy Brown was written as a sequel to coffee because the original script for Foxy Brown was Burn Coffee Burn.

Come on. Yeah, that was the original title. But then Sam Arkoff, who also did the sequel to Blackula, did the sequel to the movie Cowgirl. Blackula. What was the plot? Sequels are not doing good right now. What was the plot of Blackula? Oh, I remember the plot. Well, share it. Okay, the plot was...

An African prince. An African prince and his bride. Is there any other kind of African? An African prince and his bride visit Transylvania. Transylvania. Why would they be going to Romania? I'm explaining. Okay. Because the wealthy landowner there, Count Dracula...

to possibly buy some land in Africa. Why? That's all we'll be discussing the dinner. So they have the dinner, and then at some point, Dracula gets too forward with Black Kula's bride. So typical. And a thing happens, and Dracula...

bites Black Hula kills the bride but bites Black Hula and says you will be forever cursed and I will give you my name Black Hula and now you are a vampire you will live for the next 500 years but like let he

locks him up and so he's like in a coffin for like hundreds and hundreds of years until they unearth Dracula's castle and then they send his coffin to New York hundreds of years it's not like he's running around he's trapped he's made a vampire then he's trapped in the coffin for that period of time until the 70s when he's let loose like the day the clown cried

That's not the same thing. Well, I'm just saying we're only going to get to see it like in hundreds of years.

I actually asked Jerry Lewis about this. But he's dead. No, I know. But when he was alive, I brought up to him. I brought up the day the clown cried. And did you see it? No, I haven't seen it. Okay, well, that's the thing. No, but I asked him about it. Tell the audience what that is. The day the clown cried. I want to hear you explain the day the clown cried. You do it. I'm tired. Okay.

It is, uh, it's Jerry Lewis did a, did a movie in the seventies that was about a Jew who was turned into a, a children's clown in Auschwitz to lead the children to the, uh, uh, to the gas showers. I got to interrupt and ask, was there any historical reason to think that the Nazis employed a

clown to march the children to the kids. That's taking a cheap shot at it. They're not coming any further from Jacob the liar or the life is beautiful. No, no, no. Give them a chance.

You can say other things. You don't need to pick them for that. That is not that different from Life is Beautiful or anything else. Well, also a movie I had issues with. You can have issues with it, but don't just kick it in the balls. But I'm just saying, we talked about three other movies tonight that were stupid. We thought the premise was stupid. Okay, you can say that because Jerry Lewis... It is kind of stupid to think that the Nazis would be like...

We are the meanest people who ever lived, but let's get a clown to help with children. I mean, it's just so not. I've never thought about it that much. It's not in their profile. Now, look, there's so many, like, things that I started that I really wanted to finish. It was a good conversation. I know, but I feel like. That's how good hanging out conversations are.

Yeah, but it is a shame. I disagree that there's any gold. I don't think there's any gold left for...

dug in the ground. I think... I don't think the idea is to dig to the Earth's core. I think the idea is to hop from flower to flower to flower. Am I wrong? To me, look, I'm a fucking Irish drunk. I could do this for like four more hours with you. Not with a lot of people. But I could do it with you. But yes, I guess we should wrap it up. No, I just felt like there were so many things we started. I was like...

now that I have him here. But that's, come back. You know, this is club random. You got it. It's like, I was saying to Judd, one of the bad things about success is you get so wrapped up in your own work, you don't see your friends enough. Mm-hmm. Like when I started out in comedy. Yeah.

I saw Jerry Seinfeld and Paul Reiser and Larry Miller and Carol Leifer and Richard Belzer every day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For three, four years. I saw them every night. And now I never see them. Or I see them a few times a year when we have dinner or whatever, you know. But it's like, because we all like want to work.

The goal was work, and now we're working. And so, like... No, it's weird because... In a weird way, this is the only way I can get you here. No, I guess... To, like, talk to you in the same way I would normally. Yeah, yeah. But which I want to do. Yeah, yeah. Well, that's really nice. Well, look, I got to... Okay, look, I didn't know you felt that way because I remember...

The time I went to see you after the show, I went and saw you in Austin. Do you remember that? Yeah. Okay. Absolutely. So you had a little, like, after the show meet. And so it was me and one of the Dixie Chicks. Natalie. Yeah. Love them. Love her. Love them. Yeah. So she was there, and she was just going through her big thing. Right. With George Bush. Yeah. So that was going on. And I was there, and I was there with my lady, Natalie.

My lady. My lady. My lady. Chopping broccoli. You know what I'm talking about. I know what you're talking about. It's fine. But the thing is, okay, what you didn't know, what you didn't know. Jesus. No, no, no.

I was like the Austin dude then. I had been there for a while, and I had these film festivals there. And so I knew this club and this bar and the lady I was with had everything hooked up. So I just thought we were going to hang out. But you kind of just treated it like it was like an after show. Hello, how are you? Now I'm going to go hit the town. Fuck off. In a bad way. What year was this?

When was this? 2002? 2000? 2003? I mean, it's so odd. 2002? I mean, I... No, no, no, 2000? No, no, I take that back. 2006? 2006?

Well, first of all, I'm sorry. I can't imagine what was going through my mind. No, you just didn't fucking know. You weren't hip to it, all right? All I can think of is that for some reason, because like by 2006... I had like, let's go to this place, let's go to that place. But see, that was not communicated to me. Sometimes this happens. I have had this happen where like...

I wouldn't say the person's name, but a giant movie star of a certain era not that long ago. And they said to me, he wants to, I was playing Vegas. He wants to come see you in Vegas. I said, great, I love. But we want you to know that he's just going to come back. He's with a friend. He's just going to come back for five minutes. I'm like, fine. Great. I set him up with tickets. Five minutes, no minutes. Whatever he wants to do.

I couldn't get him out of my dressing room. Yeah. Like an hour after I do it. I'm just saying people just are always full of shit about communicating. I remember my friend Martin Lewis told me the story about Pete Townsend played as a solo act, but still he's the who. Yeah. Okay. The house of blues is small room and he's backstage after and no one comes back.

And he thinks, oh, my show must have sucked. They hated me. And he finds out after, no, security kept everyone away. I've had that happen. It's like, you know, like people will lie to you, keep people away from you.

So I don't know what happened in 2000. Oh, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. I wasn't pissed about it. Now I get to finish my point. Okay. I don't know what happened in 2006. But my guess is it's a combination of that, not communicating that Quentin Tarantino wanted to actually go out with you. Yeah, why not? Because I don't think I would. If I had known that, even by shallow standards, I would have taken that offer up.

I'm not that... That's what I thought. I'm not that stupid. That's why I was like, really? I don't think it's about that. Okay. The other, like, fly in the ointment could be pussy. Mm-hmm.

In some way. I don't remember it so long ago. I could have had a girlfriend who was demanding I go out with just her. That's what my girl said. Okay. That's what my girl. That era of my life, I could have been that guy.

That was what my girl said. I think he had an appointment. It's sad. It's sad on my part, but I will admit that totally could have been it. So I've... But she could have rolled with us. That would have been fun. I know. But you didn't know. You didn't know. I mean... But some girls don't want to roll with other... You know, it's like... I don't remember... It actually just also shows my... So king of...

vibe at that moment, at least as far as myself was concerned. I love Austin. I just actually naturally assumed that you knew that.

But, yeah, no, I mean. Okay, yeah, so I'm acting like I'm Matthew McConaughey, all right? Maybe the world doesn't fucking know, all right? The locals know. That wasn't it. That wasn't it. That wasn't it. You were like the rock star director for like over a decade. Even like, as I say, on a superficial level.

I would have been all over that. It must have, I'm thinking, I'm not knowing, but thinking it must have been that latter subject I brought up. It must have been some way that I was restricted from doing what I wanted because that was still a year when that would have been something I was subjected to. There are a lot of bad things about aging, but one of the great fucking things is not doing shit you don't want to do almost ever. Yeah, yeah. Fuck it.

The bad part is that whole you'll be dead sooner thing. But the part about I don't do shit I don't want to do ever, that priceless. Well, okay, look. Okay, so now you're actually nailing exactly how it was because the reason it wasn't explained beforehand –

Because it just would be sexier if, as we're talking, it just reveals itself. So what are you doing? All right. Oh, well, it just so happens that da, da, da, da, da. All right. You know? Well, that's going to be more exciting. That's going to be sexier. That's going to be everything. The whole idea was it was just as we were talking.

Now we're going to all go out. What's going to happen? It would be very hard to commit anything. Okay, but, all right. But the fact that you were putting the brakes on that kind of conversation suggested a woman. Yes. A woman appointment. A woman appointment.

A woman. Yeah. Which is not putting it on, it's putting it on me for like being someone who was like, you know. You probably had a better time with her than you would have with me. Not necessarily. Not necessarily. That suggests to me not, because that's not a cool woman. A woman who kept me from Quentin Tarantino.

Well, it wasn't even all of us. It's not a cold woman. Yeah. But I must admit that was still a year I probably was susceptible to making that ill-fated choice. And I wish I could go back in time...

I'd first of all take care of the whole Hitler thing. And then I'd fucking definitely save Lincoln. I would probably do something about Jesus Christ, although that would be controversial because like some people, I mean, if he had lived forever, what are we wearing around our necks? Nothing. Yeah, right. Exactly. I hate to say it, but God had a plan for his son who was really him. Yes.

I mean, there's something suspicious about that whole religious area. I have a son. He's really me. Okay. But you know, you know, that was one of the things I thought that was actually so that I liked so much and religious. And I liked that you went back on it and like highlighted it. You, you almost footnoted it. Um,

is when the Jesus guy at the camp said the thing about, well, it's like water. Well, at Holy Land, it's a whole amusement park. Holy Land.

Yeah, like, well, how can somebody be the father, the... Son and the Holy Ghost. Holy Ghost. Well, it's sort of like water. It can be steam. It can be ice. It can be liquid. Liquid. And then you guys, like, you're finished with your day of shooting. Right. It's the next day. And you guys go in the car or whatever, like...

That guy had a really good point. He had me going for a minute. We're throwing stuff at him. That was a really good lob back. I think that's why that movie did well is because it was not mean-spirited. It wasn't mean-spirited at all. It was not mean about religion. It was just like, help me understand religion.

and I don't hate you for it, and maybe I could be wrong too, but in the meantime, it is going to get its all killed. That was the end. We filmed in Megiddo. Look, I think it's a situation. You would love that. Who knows if they care, but actually, because you guys were coming from a...

a good natured place that any of the religious people that took part in it are treated very well. - Very well, yes. Absolutely, we're not making fun of anybody and that's the only way you could have done that movie. I mean when we pitched it, it's funny 'cause that movie could never be made today.

And almost not like much before we made it, it was a perfect time with the perfect studio at the time, Lionsgate, that would do it and not pull it from the theaters. I mean, Brad Gray used to be my manager. He had it paramount at that time. He offered, and I said, yeah, but the first time you get one letter that says we're going to boycott the next Mission Impossible movie, you'll fucking pull it from the theaters. I know you will. Mm-hmm.

Because that's who you are and that's fine. Yeah, right on. But, and Lionsgate put it out and stood by it. I mean, it wasn't allowed to play in half the country. I mean, it's great. Any place where you couldn't get an abortion, you couldn't see that movie. Wow.

Some people traveled 300 miles to see that movie. Of course, they also needed an abortion at the same time. There was a twofer. It's like, I want to get rid of this baby, and I definitely want to see this movie. There's nothing wrong with that. It's like, I have the baby in the right era. I'm going to go back to my day job. More fun.

than a barrel of monkeys. That was the blast. Hey, why didn't you... So do it again. Yes, absolutely. Will you? Yes. You can't have a more fun than this.