Video: Jillian Michaels | Club Random with Bill Maher
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LinkedIn, the place to be, to be. Are you happier in Florida? It feels less crazy here. Florida's less crazy? Yeah. Hear me out. Hear me out on this. This is the kind of stuff. Oh, my God. I'm sitting with my daughter. I needed a trigger warning for that piece of information. No, you're not.

You know, if I could say one thing that I've wanted to thank you for for probably four years now. What am I doing? When the whole situation happened where I said I did not celebrate Lizzo being obese because I would hate for her to get diabetes. Right. Not only did no one say anything in the public eye, right? All behind the scenes, like, totally agree, wink, wink. You were the only person

who had my back. Sounds like me. You went on Rogan and you're like, did you see this? Julian Michael said, this is crazy. And I was like... Well, you know, I've been raked over the coals even more than you perhaps for that issue. You must have been aware that James Corden

feud. I know a little bit about it. I know a little bit about it. Refresh my memory. But he's a bit difficult. I did an editorial about obesity and he, you know, was like, painted me as mean man. And of course, you know, it was all things that were true. No cheap shots. Of course not. I mean, no, you could. I mean, I certainly... Too small for your chair. There we go.

Go on. I remember reading submissions of them, but I didn't... No, I wanted to avoid that, but it was, you know, a frank discussion of... I think it started with the... I think it was during the 20... No, the 18 campaign, and they were all talking about health care, and I said, you know, it started with no health care program. Nobody's... Not Bernie, not Hillary, not... Nobody's health care is going to work unless the people...

participate in being healthy. Americans just basically flat out refuse. Of course, we're all individuals. Many do not. But just as a society, I feel like they just

No, and I certainly have done it with drinking and drugs. You know, I didn't do it with food, but I'm not better. I'm just different. You know, I did it for too long. I've had way too much liquor in my life. Not anymore, really. Would you like a drink? I'm going to have one. Here's the problem. I would normally have one, but I don't think I can keep up with you on my daughter's ADD medication.

with you five drinks in. So I've had a double espresso just to try to play tongue-fu with you for 90 minutes. Wait, so that's your drug coffee? Yeah, caffeine, 100%. I must say, like, I spent the first 45 years of my life indifferent to coffee. And, like, then you, at a certain point...

You understand, first of all, you understand why as a kid you had no interest in it because you're bouncing off the walls anyway. Absolutely. Yes. A hundred percent. Then you get older and it's like, you know, yeah, you need your little. It's a tool for me. I use it strategically with regard to fitness. Even now speaking to you, it allows me to access my vocabulary more effectively because some days it's like. But do you do it all day?

I do 200 milligrams, about 30 minutes. Milligrams? You don't drink it? I do, but I know exactly how much is in the cup. Oh, of course you do. Okay, so I have one cup, a healthy one, but one... Is it organic? Yeah, I think so. Perfect. Yeah, why wouldn't I? It does matter. I mean... Annoyingly. Oh, of course it does. But, you know, I mean, the word organic is under assault, so like...

When they say organic, was I out there with Juan Valdez? I mean, did somewhere along the line the Houthi pirates switch this up with, who knows, shit that comes all the way from around the world? Like, really, nobody along the way? We see all these caravans of desperate migrants, nobody along the way?

fuck with anything. I don't know. But it's mitigating the chemical load, at least somewhat. I think we both believe health, you have to win on the molecular level. Yeah. And that's hard to do in this, in the world we live in for many, we're not out there picking our own food. We got to trust other people. And I don't. And even when you try the hardest to keep things clean, it's just not a clean environment.

I mean, America causes cancer. True. However, if you think about it as a total toxic load, if you can mitigate it effectively-- here, there, green laundry detergent--

Potentially less chemicals in your coffee. You said it. You mitigate it. You mitigate it as best you can. As best you can. Well, of course you can do anything. I mean, there's something like 50,000, I think. I may be way off on this, but I think I read that somewhere. New chemicals or chemicals that hadn't been around. Darren O'Lean talks about this. He has a whole new book about it. A hundred years ago. Is that around the right figure? It's something astronomical to the point that you check out of the number, but it's...

- Well, and of course, maybe hundreds of them are just slight variations on the same one and shit like that. I mean, there's ways to manipulate. - But one is actually enough to cause cancer. - But the point is things are not au naturel as they once were. - No. - But we also have antibiotic. I mean, look, on balance, it's better. We live longer than when you died because you got a splinter. - Absolutely true. - I mean, I'm glad there's antibiotics in the world. I just don't wanna have to take them.

But that's everything with health and medicine, right? There's a cost-benefit analysis to everything. So, you know, I always tell my kids, listen, if you come down with MRSA, we are going to the hospital and I'm going to put Cipro in every orifice of your body. But, you know, we're not going to prophylactically treat a cough with antibiotics for

for all of the following reasons and all the negative side effects. Everything with this stuff is a cost-benefit analysis. Right. Medication, vaccines, all of those things health-related. You know, we all are made of the same shit, but it's so obvious that we just have these variations, which is one reason why I think we're on the same page about vaccines and stuff. Not an anti-vaxxer, but like... Me. Everything should be on a case-by-case because I'm so different than you.

It's also a question of what's necessary. So, for example, you know, a lot of people have opinions about RFK. I'm going to stay on this point here. Right. And not go off-piste, but when he talks about giving kindergartners a hepatitis B vaccine, which is for drug users and people who have risky sex... Wait, who's RFK? Robert Kennedy Jr. Must be against this.

He's against giving six-year-old... Yeah. Kindergarteners... Exactly. So when he talks about the fact that big pharma was like, how are we going to recoup our money that we put into developing this vaccine? Let's get it mandated for five-year-olds. Really? Because, of course, every vaccine is going to have side effects. They just do. Now, polio, measles, 100%. Hepatitis B for a kindergartner? No fucking way. Sometimes...

I mean, every medical intervention has side effects of some kind or else it wouldn't work. You know, it's moving something around in you.

That's what I'm always saying to the people who argue with me about this is I just feel like they're overconfident of how much they think we know. When I say we, I mean humans at this moment in history. And we just don't know that much. So what are the confluence of things that could be involved in this certain outcome, many of which we don't know? Why cancer?

Until we solve that big one, so the worst, most awful one, we don't have a handle on that yet. But everything else, I'm just going to go, okay, well, you must know. You know some stuff. We certainly know more than we did. We know more every day. I mean, how much of that knowledge also gets down to the level of whoever's treating you?

That's another story. You know, I mean, and that's the thing. Another one of my big points is doctors disagree. Like, why are your doctors better than my doctors? Yeah. There's lots of doctors who dissent, right? Yeah. And there's, listen, I deal with a lot of doctors all the time and interview them regularly. Right. Of course.

That said, there's a certain type of training that doctors are given and generally people come to them after already becoming sick. So the question becomes, what are we gonna do about diabetes? Okay, let's throw this drug at it. Let's throw that drug at it. And it becomes whack-a-mole because each drug creates a side effect that needs another drug.

And by the time you're 60 years old, you're on 12 different medications. None of them curing any of the problems they were designed for. I rarely contest people when they say, oh, this does what it's supposed to. Yeah, it does what it's supposed to. Vaccines generally do what they're supposed to. Antibiotics do what they're supposed to. Chemotherapy does what it's supposed to. I'm interested in what else does it do. And you are the first person who I've heard of who is now, I've heard nothing but encomiums.

about Ozempic, but I trust that you've done the research. What is your... Yeah, so the first thing is you don't need to trust me because I am not transacting in opinions. Right, right. So I am simply outlining the facts for people, encouraging you to Google it, do your own homework on the things that I say, and then make the decision for yourself.

So I want to back into this one and give you our best case scenario. Instead of being like, your butt's going to fall off your body. Okay, let's back into it. You are one of the 50% that has zero side effects.

I feel great. Never felt better. So that's it? 50% has zero side effects? At least 50% are going to have gastrointestinal issues. Vomiting, constipation, diarrhea. And then it gets more nefarious. But I'm backing into it from the sunlight here, right? Before we get into stomach paralysis, intestinal blockage, and pancreatitis. So those are other... Oh, shit. I haven't even gone there yet for you. We'll go there. First, I'm going to tell you what your best...

Cases, "Ugh, I feel great. I have no symptoms." Amazing. - Right. - I've lost a ton of weight. - Right. - Amazing. Okay. Now we're 18 months into it and you will plateau. It's not a question. - Right. - It's not my opinion. - Sure. - It's fact.

Hashtag let me Google that for you, right? So now you've plateaued. The other thing I think people decide to interject, but people sometimes don't know, is that many drugs have, we would call it in politics, a sunset clause, like they end. Like I know someone who's on, you know, they have a pill for lung cancer.

and it does amazing things, but it does sunset. - The body is homeostatic. - It does stop working at some point. - For that reason, right? The body is like, "Oh, we've been doing this exogenously, so I'm gonna make some endogenous adjustments." - Right. - And you will find homeostasis. - Right. - Not a question. So now you have a plateau and it stops working. - Right. - Okay, well, you can't get off of it ever, and all of the meta analysis, all of it,

All of them show that you will gain all of the weight back, two thirds within the first year alone, and then some hashtag quote devastating weight regain rebound. Yo-yo dieting on crack. I can tell you all the mechanisms for which this is happening. - So why isn't this being talked about more? Why are you, this one you're the pioneer getting. - Yeah, here's the problem. All of the doctors quietly that I work with on the DL feed me the information.

But the problem is some of them are at Stanford, some of them are at Harvard. Sure. No, no. They get grant money from these companies. And also people are such sheep. And once this became like the miracle drug, you know, I call it the one true opinion, then that becomes anointed as the one true opinion. And a lot of...

is in the pocket. You know, I used to do bits and... 65% funded by Big Pharma. I used to do a bit in my act about the evening news that was very funny. I wish I could remember it. But it was basically that every... It's not the news that made me want to kill myself every night. It was the commercials. Everything was people who I can't shit. I can't breathe. But you know that that commercial...

All ads for pharmaceutical... By the narrative, though, Bill. But pharmaceutical drugs funded the... I don't know if they still do. Top 60%.

65% of the advertising dollars. You know, restless leg syndrome and fucking, you know. 100%. Pills that you don't even know what they're selling. It's just some chick in a wheat field. And she looks happy and it's like, get this shit, you'll be happier. Okay, but here's what they're actually buying. They're buying the episode of 60 Minutes where Dr. Fatima Cody Stanford, who's a paid spokesperson for Novo Nordisk, is parroting research that

Paid for by Novo Nordisk. And the anchor was like, mm-hmm. Uh-huh. Oh. No, I mean. It's insanity. Again, it's like very. It's a commercial for the drug. What I was saying before, people are scared. This is a subject that scares them. They want to believe the people in the white coats are pure and they have the answers and they couldn't be corrupt. And. They spend hours.

Yes, and it's a business. Buying doctors. Unhealthy people is also a business. I'm not saying that they're twirling their mustache and flaunting their cape and just plotting to do this specifically. It's got a compound annual growth rate of 9% as an industry.

Can I strongly recommend... Do you think they have cures that they don't tell us about? Cures for things like herpes? Yes. Really? You think there's a herpes cure and they don't tell us? Let's think about this for a second, shall we? Because they're selling so much of whatever... So much Zovarax. But who's... I find that hard to believe, actually. Really? They've got a vaccine, not cures, but vaccines. They've got a vaccine for chickenpox. They've got a vaccine for shingles. Right. They've got a vaccine for HPV. That's the same thing. Why don't you have a vaccine for herpes? Because... Herpes? Oh, right. It's the same vaccine.

Well, it's a similar one. It's a similar, exactly. Singles and chickenpox is the same virus. Herpes that people get outbreaks on their face. That's simplex too, I think. I don't know. I don't even remember. But I'm pretty sure if you can come up with that. Right. And you can come up with a COVID vaccine in nine months. You can handle this one. But how do you actually suppress that?

How do you, I mean-- - Who's paying for the research? - And why would you? Because wouldn't you make a fortune selling the cure for herpes? I think you would. So I think what they catch them like what they caught the Sackler family and they got something like an $8 billion fine for pushing opioids, for pulling OxyContin. Okay, but it was sort of out in the open what they were doing. - It went on for decades and the doctors didn't stop prescribing it.

But I don't think they have a cure for cancer because I think it would be... Cancer, no way. It's so complicated. It's so complicated. It's a bit of a different beast. Right, right. Is there a cure for obesity? Obesity is multifactorial. So let's play the downsides of Ozempic now. I gave you your rosy scenario and here's the problem.

It will plateau. Right. And you can never get off of it, or you'll have a horrendous rebound. So where do you net out in your best case scenario? You're going to be in the same position if I put you in a time capsule and I got you three, four, five years down the road. We're going to be right back where we were, but potentially with-- And here's the-- philosophically, here's my other big problem with Western medicine. It likes to put everything-- it compartmentalizes.

which is the opposite of holistic. Now, holistic doesn't mean I believe everything that some shaman says,

But the idea that the body works as a whole, I completely buy into because I've seen it. And it's like intuitively obvious. So anything you do, like Ozempic, OK, it's working. It's working. But other things in your body are changed from it. Oh, without question. Right. And that's what I'm always, the question I'm always asking. Like, you think vaccines cause cancer? No, I don't think vaccines cause cancer. What I think is you don't know what causes cancer, right?

And we do a lot of different things that, who knows, maybe like, you know, vaccine plus vaccines.

X, whatever it is, if you had many vaccines and you have this factor, then because cancer is just-- - Well, they know what it does. It's on the website. - It's about what is, you know, it's like-- - This is actually far more concrete. - I'm just saying, until you tell me what causes cancer, I don't know what different elements might contribute to it, in what form, so I'm going to try to stay as natural as I can. Now, I can't always do that,

but that should be my choice to try to do that. Okay. So, there's two pieces to this. That's why I would never do Ozempic. Well, so, the side of this that is far less rosy, right, is that you're somebody who experiences one of the more common side effects,

diarrhea, constipation, nausea, vomiting, right? Then you've got muscle loss and it's pretty significant. In fact, Dr. Peter Atziah came out and said that he's seeing muscle loss at a quote, "Alarming rate in the DEXA scans of his patients." There's a bone density problem with it.

on the website, pancreatitis, kidney failure, gallbladder issues, vision loss, stomach paralysis, intestinal blockage. Bill. You know, it's crazy. The fact that it sometimes appears as a bad side effect in so many different areas tells me, again, about holistic medicine.

Like they'll do a study, you know, well, it affects the gallbladder. Yeah, in this person it did. It probably affects adversely what that person's weak part is. I don't know what the person's profile is, but what I'm saying is like a lot of things in your body, they're opportunistic, you know, and they will go where it's weak.

For you, it might be the gallbladder. Somebody else, it affected their... Thyroid tumors. I forgot that one. Whatever. Right. We don't know why it's doing that. We don't know what's going on in there. But that basically is what's going on in there. You're giving it an opportunity to go somewhere and do some damage. And maybe you'll be lucky and it won't because you're the kind... But until we have those answers, let me make those decisions. I want to give you one more thing on this. Okay. Okay.

How does it work? It works by curbing appetite, right? - Right. - So it's facilitating weight loss by allowing you to eat less. Okay, so we know that eating less is going to facilitate weight loss. Now that we know this, that's the only mechanism by which it's facilitating weight loss.

And any other benefits they profess to be associated with this drug like heart health, which will happen on something called the Twinkie diet, meaning you can eat pure shit. If you eat less of it and you lose weight, you'll get the exact same benefits. The mechanism for improved health is weight loss. Now then, why are people unable

to control their appetite. And this is where you need to look at what is going on with the environment and what is going on with the food and what is going on in their head. This is the shit that we need to deal with. It isn't about judging people. It isn't about an easy way out. It's about getting to the root of the problem, even people real solution without the hazards of potential side effects. And at the end of the day, your best case scenario doesn't play out in three, four, five years anyway.

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personal and honest conversations with the greats, Nancy Meyers, Mel Brooks, Emerald Fennell, and me. I did it too. I watched Reds and talked about it with Ben and had a blast. Listen to Talking Pictures on Max or wherever you get your podcasts. You know what? I'm astounded. People don't understand that antibiotics have a bad effect on them. They don't. That, like, that...

The doctor never sort of mentions that part of it, which is, this is not controversial. It's just like, so like I'm working from this place, I feel like,

my understanding of medicine. And it's just very different from theirs. So when I, you know, you're joking about something where you have to first convince them of the premise. They're not with you on the premise yet. - No, they're not unplugged from the matrix. - But then when they laugh at the punchline, they realize, oh, okay, that must be true 'cause I laughed. - Right. - 'Cause, you know. - There's truth in every joke. - Yeah, there's truth in jokes. - 100%. - But it is more of a heavy lift.

than any other subject. I mean, people just, I think what it is, is that what scares people, death and sick, you know, and sick and dying is even worse. So like, it's a very scary subject. So it's just more comforting to believe there's this priesthood and there are white

medical garb with the stethoscope around their neck and these high priests have all the answers about your health so just whatever they say they're the doctor and you're not and no one else can possibly and they just have this exalted view of how much more they must know I mean yes I didn't go to medical school I'm sure there are things they know they're also blind about a lot of shit and prove it all the time

What's interesting is a lot of the doctors that I'll speak to talk about exactly that. I'll talk to Dr. Casey Means, who's absolutely incredible. She's one of the founders of this company called Levels, where they monitor your glucose constantly. And she's just an amazing woman. And she was saying how she started talking about prevention, diet and exercise, and they were making fun of her. And she's like, really? Seriously? This is a joke?

A lot of the doctors that take that upstreamist viewpoint, I don't know if you've seen that TED talk,

You've got bodies in the water and people are rushing in to save these bodies and they're doing triage, which is medicine as we know it, right? Drugs, symptoms, drugs, symptoms. But then one person goes, "Hold on, I'm gonna go upstream and find out why there's all these bodies in the water." And that's upstream-est medicine. There are very few doctors that practice that way. - So you watch TED Talks? - Constantly. - Really? I've never seen a TED Talk.

By the time I was about to watch one, it had become like so, like...

like lampooned as douchey that I was like. - What about Big Think? Do you do the Big Think talks? - No, what's that? I don't even know what that is. Is that their rival? - Kinda, yeah. - Really? Like monster trucks versus super monster trucks? - Yeah, but for intellectuals. - Tractors. - I feel like you like Big Think. They got a lot of scientists on there. - I'm sure. You know what? I get most of my medical news in the Enquirer.

And I know this seems wrong, but like they do have a little medical- Teach me, explain it to me. Hold on, hold on. I know this is gonna sound crazy. I'm gonna dig in on this one. I'm gonna take the bait. The Choir and the Globe. Okay. They have a medical page.

And it's just a few paragraphs. And of course, because it's in these magazines, you think this is crazy. It's not. It's just like the tip of the iceberg of some new discovery. But if you then like Google this discovery and the doctor that they quote, you'll see it's a very real thing. Now.

Talking about coffee, like coffee has like the most amazing lobbyists. I mean, coffee gets a lot of press for like doing wonderful things. And I'm sure it does. It's also acidic. We just like it. So who gives a fuck? Okay, I'm going to keep doing it. Don't buy into that one. What? The acidic conversation. With coffee? Coffee's not acidic?

How's it harming you? Think about how acidic your stomach acid is. That whole alkaline water thing is kind of bullshit. Okay, well, you know me, I love learning about this subject, so I don't know about this. I'm always open to the alternative view, though. Inflammatory would be something that you would worry about, right? Your body releasing inflammatory proteins and cytokines, and what's going to do that? Sugar.

Well, sugar, we all agree is bad. Sugar and then the buildup of all this dead tissue and excess body fat releasing. But you're saying coffee is not acidic. It's not even a thing. It doesn't... Oh, acidic isn't a thing? Oh, come on. That's not true. How so? If your pH is too acidic... How is your pH going to become too acidic? There's no such thing. Your stomach, like all the alkaline water and all that stuff, it's all bullshit. Wow. That is an alternative. I'll send you a TED Talk.

- No, promise in all honesty. - No, treat me like Reagan, put it on one page. - You got it. But I do promise you, total bullshit. The pH of your stomach,

It's so frigging acidic. You're never going to alkalize that. What do you want to? We're kind of talking about two different things. It's true. What is your concern then? Well, your stomach itself is like a pH of 3.5, which is like a volcano. It is. For the pH fans who forgot, 7 is right in the middle. 8 would be too alkaline.

- Okay, what's gonna change the pH of your stomach though outside of like proton pump inhibitors? - I'll tell you. If you aren't too alkaline,

that's bad agreed very bad but what's going to make you so you're saying it's okay to be too acidic but i'm saying coffee won't tip that scale no but you said you said the whole thing is and it's certainly not if you have a very high alkaline uh you very likely will get more urinary tract infections because you do not it means

That is a very conducive atmosphere for bacteria. Acidic is not conducive to bacteria. Eating food in an attempt to control your body's pH...

like coffee changing the ph of your body that's bullshit now well that is again that is proton pump inhibitor yes things like that what so medication oh yeah so you have i have acid reflux oh here's this medication but then it begets itself because your body's trying to overcome it doesn't matter if you eat complete shit food and you destroy your microbiome what do you eat

what's your diet common sense really yeah so you don't eat like a crazy keto or no you're just you have like mashed potatoes it's totally okay well it's not me it should it was it's never been meant and serious people who do talk about keto

Do not talk about it like something that you would do as your regular diet. If you have advanced type 2 diabetes or epilepsy and you're under a doctor's supervision for a finite period of time, okay, fine. And it's like, oh, all these things improved because you stopped eating fucking McDonald's, dude. It's a treatment, yeah. It's like, it's a treatment. But what I'm...

Go ahead, sir. No, no. The bigger issue I'm trying to get with you, because this is very, to me, this is new to me, which is great. And maybe I'm behind. Or maybe I'll do a deep dive into this. Maybe I need to start reading the Enquirer. This chick is crazy. No. No, I know you are much more involved in the details than I am. That's why I have full respect for the point of view. I'll check it out. Think about, okay, this.

Why were people doing keto? Well, bodybuilders did it back in the day. You know, it's funny. They also ate all day long. We know that's not good for you.

What do you mean they ate all day long? Oh, my God. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, well, the whole thing is not good for you. Right, but that's what I'm saying. Right. Okay, so. Well, you look pretty jacked. I eat normally, though. Really? Yes. I mean, you look like, I mean, look at those guns. You must, I know, that's what your thing is. You're famous for it. Kind of. You know, you do a lot of pull-ups, right? Whatever you do. You look great.

- That's what's important. - But okay, but then I should be speaking of, right? If I was to be my own testimonial, when you look at something like keto, this comes from, oh my God, what was the original? The Atkins diet. All of this stuff is just a bullshit spin to prey on people's vulnerabilities. - Right. - It is, ah, burns more fat. No, it doesn't. - What doesn't? - So for example, people were going on these diets,

because they thought they were going to lose weight more quickly. - But isn't it better to run your body on fat than carbs? - It doesn't even work that way, Bill. You would have to be in a constant state of ketosis. It doesn't work that way. - I am. - You know what, I mean, I-- - Isn't that what this is? - If this, okay.

- That's what keto looks like and maybe you'll convince me to try. - They told me I was gonna get to ketosis with this. - But no, that's not true. In fact, if you were to even look at the blue zones, right? - Yes, I do all the time. - Okay, those diets are 65% complex carbohydrates. - There's another thing I say and people are like, what?

- Dan Buener, amazing guy. - He's the one who, yeah. - Do you respect him? This guy's done a ton of homework on it. - Right. Nothing is more valuable to me than information. I'm like Don Corleone. And so knowing that there are places in this world, and this is what Blue Zones are, where people live routinely to 100. - What's the similarity in the diet? Is it keto? No fucking way, Bill. - Right, no, no, right, right.

But it's more than just, I mean, of course, there are confluence of factors, not just diet. One of them is a, one of the blue zones is a fucking religious nuts place. It's the one in- - But it's about faith. It's about faith. A connection to something deeper is the theme.

Really? Yeah. I think of spirituality, of faith. Well, I think everybody, most people in the world, most communities have faith. I'm an atheist. I'm the outlier. That is a growing movement. Yeah, for sure. Thanks mostly to me. But most people in the world, I think you have to take that factor out because that's

A good scientist takes that out because it's not a good variable. People who eat shit have faith, and people who don't eat shit and eat well have faith. Humans mostly have faith. They will profess to something, either a specific religion or they'll say I'm spiritual or whatever it is. It's not just, no, this is it. I'd say meaning. Meaning is incredibly important.

for longevity, community, activity. And then there are just flat out some similar through lines in each and every one of these diets. Yes, but it's not faith. Faith doesn't make you healthy because lots of fat, ugly faith, not ugly. There is a robust amount of data behind this providing people with

Having that deeper sense of meaning and a sense of connection to something. I'm not one. But it's not going to make up for the food. No, it's not. Okay, maybe, yes. It's a confluence of factors. Okay, but I think you're looking into specifically what is good for health is de-stressing. Yes. People who find a way. That doesn't have to be any kind of faith or God or spiritual. I have my ways of doing it.

How much stress is the right amount in my life? Well, you know, zero would be good, but then you would be bored. You know, so it's a... I could argue that one with you too, believe it or not. And people find other ways without religion or any kind of faith to like not have stress. It's the stress that's causing the inflammation, okay? So it's not faith itself. It's anything that can get your brain in a place because your brain...

i'm sure you would agree affects your body 100 of course we see it in this easy to prove examples like when the blood drains out of your face when you're scared why is that happening because your body wants it in your legs so you could run faster yeah okay so it does if so

Yeah, when your brain is not stressed too much, that is a huge health factor. Religion can help that, but you can do it other ways. You can do it other ways? Absolutely. That's why I think the bigger picture is having meaning, feeling connected to something, something that gives you a purpose. I mean, don't Rastafarians worship this? I mean, isn't that-- didn't they-- Do they live forever?

There's a lot of controversy around weed being a health tool. Tell me your take on that. I gotta know. You're not gonna like it. No, tell me. I don't subscribe. Oh, I understand. But you think it's very unhealthy? Okay.

I've interviewed several different... Give it to me straight, John. How long do I have? Okay, I haven't done a ton of homework on this one. Okay. So this is an opinion. Okay, so this is my opinion. No, I've done... I'm not transacting in facts. I've done field work, no homework. My feeling on it is that to smoke it, I think, is terrible for you. And I would feel very confident saying so, right? Because you're taking smoke into your lungs. I've always said that. I'm not...

I've never been sentimental about it. A lot of my hippie friends are, and they try to find ways, and I always say, "It's not health food." I get that. It's just better than liquor.

I would agree with you there. And maybe the trade-off is worth it. But I always say that, and I say it to all the kids out there, anytime you're putting smoke in your lungs, it's not ideal. Yeah, that's not going to be good for you. I think people try to pass it off. It's like, oh, it's this panacea. No. Anytime you have a health panacea. We don't say that about pot. Not you, but a lot of people will. People exaggerate probably the properties of CBD, but CBD plainly does help people.

With what condition? Like arthritis. Maybe, maybe. But I've heard, oh, epilepsy, oh, arthritis, oh, digestion, oh, cancer patient. When you have something that cures everything, that's when I'm like, okay. They're not saying it cures. I don't know. This is just drama and argument. No one is saying pot cures everything. A lot of people do. Right.

You must be talking to people on the sidewalk wearing a sandwich board because not, I've never heard anyone who- Are you talking to anybody 30 years old who smokes it or eats it all the time? They will give you all the cases why it's God's gift to health. What are these, TikTokers? I mean, I- Probably. Okay, well- I have a much younger brother who's trying to convince me. I'm serious, I'm telling you. Like all the millennials are like, oh man.

And then I rubbed it on my elbow and I got fucking better. And then my friend ate it and a brain tumor went away. And then this person ate it and their vaginal dryness went away. I'm like, what the fuck? That is out there. Your point is that there's a lot of randos out there who believe. It's weird.

calling it you believe stupid uh i give up you're right there are i mean i hear that a lot not even the dumbest thing they believe although it's dumb yeah no cbd i don't know i mean it's not a it's not a part of my diet well i guess it's if it's in the pot it is but um yeah look you gotta live i mean yeah and you gotta i mean life is a series of trade-offs trade-offs and choices and you know i definitely have traded

health for fun. I mean, I just do it way more. You look pretty healthy to me. So you're obviously making a lot of excellent choices in other areas. I just cleaned up my act. I always say this, but it's a little like in sports where they say you take what the defense will give you. And when my body gave me, like at the age of 30, the ability to have 30 drinks a week, I did. And

And when my body said, you know, we'll give you 10, I took that.

And my body now says, you know, "A few." You know, never more than two at a time. - Same. - You know, right? - I've never been able to get past two. - I mean, I'm almost 70. My body has the right to say that to me. And you can't win that battle, so why fight it? People do, but it's dumb. - I gotta be honest. I had no idea you were almost 70. And when we look at Brad Pitt and everyone's like, "God damn it, that guy looks amazing,"

I think you've gone on my leaps and bounds. You, and I'm not... Finish your thought. Listen, I would go at you. Bill, honestly, I would go at you. I'd be like, you ought to stop doing that, buddy. That's so fucking bad for you. You look amazing. Thank you. You're sharp as a fucking tack. You're fit as a fiddle. And...

I would love to lecture you about this stuff. You seem to be doing everything right in large part. - Well, I do, I mean, I fast twice a year. - How long? - Five days. - It's a long one, yeah, but I understand. - Not a kind of the, they call it the fasting mimicking diet. Works for me 'cause I can't do a straight up one. And so you get a little food, they swear it mimics a real fast. I think it does wonders.

The research says so. - It does? - Absolutely. - Yes. I only eat two meals a day. - Also. - Really good. - Yeah. - So, I mean, that kind of stuff. Sleep, yes, get great, hardly ever have to wake up to an alarm, which I think is a huge sleep factor, to just naturally wake up. - All of the doctors who specialize in sleep will say that if you have to be woken up by an alarm, you're doing something wrong. - Right.

Nothing like waking up naturally with your dick in your hand. - - But even if your dick's in your hand... - I can't speak to that one. - Even without that, I trust you. - Even without that, yeah. So, I mean, I think those are things. And then, you know, you have to want to live. I mean, you have to-- I mean, I'm fortunate. I mostly enjoy my life, and I like doing what I'm doing, and it's, um... - You know, you have to-- - Purpose? Yeah, purpose, exactly. You have to have a purpose. And, you know...

Even if you, you know, you see in show business, a lot of times you have to drag people out because it's like, it's mostly fun compared to work work. I mean, there is work and we work hard, but we enjoy our work. We're very lucky in that way. A lot of people, when you say job, it means something that you don't want to go to. We don't think that about what we do. We like going to what we do. Not a lot of people have that or not enough. I mean, it's, you know...

And I know what it's like to go to jobs like that when I was younger. You know, I went to a lot of shit jobs. And it's like a job is different than a career. So if you have that, that's... And money is the hugest... Stressor. Stressor. Yeah. They say...

In relationships, what do people fight about? Overwhelmingly, money is number one. I find it to be kids. Kids is probably second. Kids has got to be second. See, as someone who never got married, my first thought was, oh, it must be sex. People fight about sex. And I'm like, no, Bill. Somebody was schooling me. I'm like, no way.

- You make your peace with not having a lot of sex a long time ago and then that's not what breaks us up. It's like, oh wow. I mean, I never made that choice. You know, you're married, right? - I am married. - How long have you been married? - So I've been with my wife five and a half years. - Wait, wife? - I'm kidding. - Surprise!

I am working out with my dick in my hand, Bill. Sorry. Sidebar. We've been married two years. Two years. Oh, you're newlywed. And I never got married previously, even to my ex, who I have two kids with. Oh, wow. Because I was just not a believer. You have two kids with an ex? Yeah. She's a wonderful person. I just was not. I was anti-marriage. And then my current wife.

I was like, "Listen." Isn't the divorce rate among

- I don't think so. I don't. In fact, there's something called lesbian bed death, which is very real. You wanna talk about fighting over sex, that shit is real. - What is it? - It's called lesbian bed death. - Bed death. - Yep. - What does it mean? - It basically means that you just stop fucking. - Oh, like regular marriage.

I don't think it's as, I think it's worse. I actually think it's worse. Okay, so this is just what I've been told. Okay, okay. So just again, school me when I'm wrong. Got it, fair. I mean, just like I'm- Just like keto? Okay. Just like I'm going to do a deep dive into that health stuff you were telling me about. I will send you all the info. I'm going to do a deep dive into this lesbian stuff. Oh, really? Wait, that came out wrong. I've never considered myself a-

Muff timer? A pro here, yeah. But I mean, I think I could be helpful considering... I was told, and again, I probably have terrible information on both ends of this, but I was told somewhere along the way that lesbian marriages lasted longer because there wasn't like this great expectation of sex. So like they...

No? I don't think so. Okay. Yeah. I know nothing about this. I actually interviewed a sex therapist on my podcast, and she was saying that women not only have as high of a sex drive as men, but they also seek out new partners more than men. Really? I said the same shit. And I don't know if they need the strange. I don't know what it is. But with my wife, it's weird.

That is not my heterosexual experience. Maybe I've been very lucky. I think I have. I think you attract a certain type. And all my life, I wished I attracted like the slutty girl. And I always attracted the nice girl. And now I'm like, oh, good. It probably saved me from-- I'm probably dead by now. But I always wanted that.

But, like, I've been very fortunate. I never attracted that, like, evil girl a couple of times. But, you know, what are you going to do? Toxic. Super addicting. So I don't see women that way. I see them as... Maybe I have them on a pedestal, but I don't think they're... They are. I'm telling you. Oh, they're definitely... Especially modern girls. Most modern girls are...

They just have an attitude that is brought upon by, I think, cynicism about... And I don't blame them one bit. Men can do so little for me, and they do do so little for me. They can't even approach me correctly. They're too scared to approach me. Everything has to go through the phone or whatever it is. They don't... They're just lazy. Hey, what's up? Eggplant emoji. This is like their whole rap. They're just...

I just hear this all the time. They're just horrible. So women have a very cynical attitude, reinforced by the music and stuff forth. And it's a lot about like, you know, buy me something, you know, or just, you know, they just don't, they're so low expectation for actual romance. Makes you very cynical. I can say that I have quite a few friends who are straight.

and looking for love in all the wrong places like the dating apps, unfortunately, is a recipe for disaster. And I've come to the conclusion that these apps, in large part, are guys that think they're just shopping.

For girls, it's like, okay, well, you know, they're almost like less than human on these apps. Of course. Whereas if you meet someone in real life where you share friends, your behavior is going to be much better. Well, you don't even have to share friends. That's a nice way to do it, but that's not a prerequisite. But for me, for me, human has to be human. First of all, I don't understand these kids. I,

I see like people I know, they send me whatever, I guess you put a little picture of yourself, like in the corner of, what am I thinking? I'm texting or I guess so. Yeah. Like whatever. And I see their picture and I'm like, oh,

you don't look like that. I know you. That's a very charitable, flattering version of yourself. AI generated by a face album is a face tune. It's just they've had these tricks for like 15 years they can do shit. They can AI generate your face now on face tune. I'm serious. Even before AI, it was not hard to just fix it. And it's like, well, why would I want to...

False advertising? Well, just not know what someone is and looks like for real. And then probably it's going to be less. Probably. Who's going to make themselves look worse? And then you're like, oh, I'm pleasantly surprised. I don't think that happens often. No, I can't speak to this in any sort of educated capacity because...

My wife will say this all the time with friends that face-tune things, and she's like, why do they do this? Because they're going to meet this guy, and it's going to say, like, oh, you don't look like you're... I don't know really why people do it. But also, like, you have to, I think, to get a feel for somebody, literally be in the same room. Like, I will almost never do a satellite interview on real time, because...

I just, I mean, yes, if it's Netanyahu and Israel, I will- You'll make an exception. Yeah, yeah, we make exceptions, but it's rare because it's just not as good an interview. It's just that you can't, you don't feel somebody, you can't look in their eye. Timing, you know, there has to be a delay.

So you can't like, it's not a ping pong match like it is in a real conversation. But you know most people don't do that anyway. How many interviews have you sat in where they have their cards and they know what they're going to ask you and they're like, so you got married last summer and you're like, I'm sorry, my mother just died of cancer. I can't focus. And where was the wedding? And you're like, dude, is it any

- If people aren't switched on anyway, most people aren't, which is why you have excelled so much at what you do. - Oh, thanks. I mean, I love doing this because this is even more, I mean, real time I do a lot of preparation, but it is a completely off the cuff panel conversation. But this is a whole new kind of way to just completely approximate

exactly how I would be in life. I mean, I'm not cleaning up anything or planning anything or, you know, it's like I said before when I went, what were we talking about? I would never do that on real time. You know, that's just not... I know, I see you differently because I watch both. This is real life. Can I ask you something, though? As real as it gets. That I've been wondering for such a long time. You start out as a comedian and I saw this...

poll the other day and it was like who's the best man in news and I thought Jesus what's that like most trusted I got from yes yeah I know that was it and I thought wow what's that like to go from being I completely understand and I accept how does that happen Bill was that intentional I accept the golden light no that just did you set out what how do you

How do you make that transition? Was it organic or were you just thinking, "Everybody's full of shit, I gotta step in." - I've been doing that for 30 years and they finally caught up. There's your answer. - Yeah. - So. - But you speak to so many people who see themselves in you and anytime I've ever tried to justify, it's so crazy, justify my position, I'm like, "Well, did you see that episode of 'Real Time' where Mar said," and it's like the only way

to try to communicate a point of view to either a liberal or a conservative. You can justify your position if you said it. It's crazy. It's almost like professionally, if I was to tell you something about keto and you said I'm full of shit, I would turn around and go, "Whoa.

Dr. Peter Atia and Dr. Lane Norton both just said that keto doesn't burn more body fat, blah, blah, blah. And I can validate my position. Yeah, but so can they. And that's why I'm just always arguing with these people about just don't dictate what I have to do. I am going to be the final arbiter of what I want to do with my body, whether it's a vaccine or anything else, because the doctors don't agree. So if there's...

if there's this uncertainty, I'm going to have to make these decisions. And a lot of stuff in health is like, even the doctors... You know this devil's advocate argument. The ones I respect... You're killing my grandma. You know that argument. The ones I respect are the ones who start the conversation about complicated things with like...

Like, you know, we just don't know. Just admit it. Like here, no, do we have a perfect, we really don't have anything perfect for this. We've been trying to find some, here's the things we have been used with some success, but just don't tell me they don't have the answers. So in that atmosphere, you have to let me with the people I respect and the philosophy of medicine I choose to follow understand

Which is not crazy or anti-Western. Yeah, but you didn't have that luxury. And that's the question you need to ask is why? Did you not have the luxury to make that decision? It was mandated. Right. Oh, yeah, no, we agree. And it's like, well, why? And I remember watching, I think it was, it's,

Eric Weinstein, the two brothers, there's Brett Weinstein and Eric Weinstein. One's an evolutionary biologist and one's a physicist. I've had Brett on the show and his wife. And I remember him saying, you know, there's a fundamental problem here. Number one, it's not effective enough. It's not a vaccine. People are still getting sick, very sick. Well, it was effective.

How effective? I mean, I got COVID before it and after it. Felt the same both times. For older people at risk, I'll buy it. Well, that's who we're talking about. But they're mandating it for kids. But of course, they also gave it to a lot of older people like soon after they had the flu vaccine and their bodies couldn't take two vaccines at once. And that's just the science of it. You know, that's just...

even the people who argue on the other side would have to agree, when you take a vaccine, you're taxing your body. Because that's the-- that's the-- supposed to be. -That's the plan. -The side effects. Just like when you work out, you're harming your body. -Stress, yeah. -You are harming your body when you work out, so it comes back stronger. Stress, yeah. That would be the argument I would circle back to on the stress. But it's a balanced amount of stress for sure. But the question is,

Are you going to put your body through that kind of stress, cost-benefit analysis for a kid? Is it worth it? No. It's not efficacious enough. Exactly. I mean, again, not... Is it worth the side effects for a kid? No. Then there's the you're killing my grandmother conversation. But if the kid still gets sick, then the grandmother's still going to get sick. So where does it... To me, the question is, why the intense mandate over something? There's a wide gap.

between everybody, no matter how old, has to get it and understanding that it was a tool

The COVID vaccine, got to give them credit. They came up with, I mean, they had been working on it for a very long time. The mRNA tech? Yes. Yeah. 30 years, supposedly. Yes. So, but they, you know. I've had that conversation, but still. It's like. It's, look, I got it. I did too. I would never get a booster. I did not either. But I didn't want it.

but I would not have been able to continue with my life. I would not have been allowed near the studio or on the road. Okay, so, you know, I took one for the team and for my own selfish desire to continue with my life. But if it happened again, I don't know. You know, I... I think the bigger question that needs to be answered is...

what's behind all of this? And what I mean by that is, I remember when this first happened. And I don't think at that time I could have been more left, whereas now I'm definitely center. And I remember watching an episode of Rogan with Brett, and it was March of 2020, and he broke down all the reasons he thought this came from a lab.

And I was just like, gain-of-function research, Wuhan Institute of-- what's a fear and cleavage site? Asking different doctors. And I went to all my lefty friends and I was like, "This came from lab." And they're like, "Oh, you fucking tin hat. You married a conservative. You're out of your mind. Now..."

The CIA, the FBI, Department of Energy came from a lab. Why was that entire conversation shut down? Why are we not allowed to have it to this day? And people go, why does it matter? Well, they do have it now. Not really. Who's debating how safe gain-of-function research is? How about fucking nobody? Nobody, Bill. What people are not doing is making it, you're right, as big an issue as it should be. It should be a huge issue because...

I honestly think like in 20, I don't know, 50 years, 100 years, sometime like in the future, they will look back on this period and it will strike them as so odd that it was controversial that a virus that started in Wuhan...

where this one almost unique in the world lab was that was doing this exactly. The fact that they argue in 2020 and 21, and all the way up through 20-whatever, they were arguing about this. Now, could it be a coincidence with the bats? It could. But I just think it's going to look bad in the future. It's going to be a come on, man. Even the Fauci emails are like, no, I think I'm saying 70.

30 came from a lab in the emails. - Well, it's just, it's just, it's just. - Like, come on. Why can't we say this is a huge fucking problem? - They were, right. - We need to get ahold of this thing. This could be as big of an existential crisis for humanity as nuclear weapons. - But isn't it amazing to you, like it was in the paper today about this country came out of the pandemic

Way better. We just fuck. We won the pandemic economically. I mean, America. God, I don't feel that way. Explain it to me. I feel like inflation's insane. Numbers. Inflation is not insane. Bill, go buy a car. There's numbers. I understand. A house has tripled here. Look, I get that people. Buy some fucking eggs. I don't.

Explain to me. I'm not an economist, so I'm just trying to-- There's feelings, and then there's the numbers. OK, what are the numbers? Well, the numbers have come down a lot in the last six months.

Of course, it was inevitable when we gave out $6 trillion so that everybody could hide under the bed from the forever flu. That was never going to end well. It was taken by the richest people ever and didn't get where it needed to go. A lot of it was stolen. We agree on that, too. It was like, was there some response needed? Of course. You don't want the hospitals overrun. But it was just a massive overreaction. And that did cause some of the inflation. But

The big story, the big picture is every other nation in the world, much worse off now. And this country, for some reason, just chugs fucking along. It's like...

It's almost scarier because I think we're just cocky now where we think we can do anything. Trump handled it. Pandemic handled it. What? Nothing happened. Did Trump blow up the world? I tried to tell that to my mom. Did fucking COVID kill all of us? No. It is going to be the end of the world if it gets realized. Yeah, but maybe the next one or Trump's next term, you know, just because it didn't happen before. I don't know. I think it's a very dangerous way to live. I think you can keep brushing the shit. The debt.

There's another one that was going to kill us. Or are we pretending like everything's okay? I don't know. Immigration. Again, not an economist, but from the outside looking in, trillions of dollars in debt. Yes, but Ross Perot was saying this 30 years ago that it was going to kill us when it was like $2 trillion. But it hasn't yet.

We just, immigration, we're being over, we are kind of being over it. That's a deep, no effect, that is, I'm just telling you. - But does it eventually implode? Is there going to be a straw? I would say yes. - I think America is just like a teenage boy, stupid,

But strong, you know, just like, and nothing stops you. And yes, we're driving at 80 miles an hour with the top down along Mulholland. But somehow, unless we, and we could go over the side. But they sometimes do. And we sometimes do, I know. But as of now, we're having a good time. I think some of it we're going to get away with. Some of it we're not. Absolutely. Some of it we're just definitely not. And I, you know, the economy stuff, I don't.

don't really understand. And I've heard all-- How old are your kids? Oh, God. Oh, Jesus. They're like-- Is that that complicated a question? No, it's just the ages come with some fascinating trials and tribulations.

and 14 in a matter of weeks. So 11 and 13 months. I was reading about that age cohort in the paper also today. They're very pessimistic, it said, about... They're very bleak about the future. You know, our generations ruined the environment. It's worse than that. It's worse than that. Tell me about the kids today, really. Because I wouldn't know. Thank you, Jesus. I...

What are the kids up to? I love my kids. Are they on OnlyFans? Not yet. You're laughing. Do you know my kids come home and they tell me like, oh, they make, it is. Hey, if the kids can make money. More aggressive. So-and-so's sister's on OnlyFans. So-and-so's sister's on OnlyFans. Really? Did you know she's on OnlyFans? You mean children are allowed on OnlyFans?

Somehow they're on there. Really? You don't have to be like... Underage. Yes, you do. Somehow they get on there. Really? Yeah. And then it's like, it is a whole, it is crazy shit. Yeah, I know. And unfortunately, the environment we're living in

I grew up in a world where all we wanted to do was get rid of labels. Love is love. Right. One race, human. Right. Now these kids are like, you fucked my label up. There's a PY minus sign in it. What the fuck?

What the fuck is going on with you guys? - What's a PY minus? - I'm being absurd. But my point is like they've all, oh, I'm a Q plus, T minus, and I have sex with chickens. - Oh, you're talking about a sexual designation? Like LGBTQ? - We tried to get rid of labels. Now everything is about- - But is that what you're talking about? Like LGBTQ stuff? - As one example is that we tried to get rid of labels in our generation and tried to not look at race

Now everything's about race. Everything's about labels. And I don't think it is helping at all. I grew up here in the San Fernando Valley, and the only prejudice I ever saw consistently was gays. Gays were gross. And I grew up homophobic. Not you. Oh, I was so homophobic. No. Oh, you're talking about gay men. Yeah.

All of it. Because I feel like there's a very big difference. Like, even to, like, hardcore homophobes, hot women. No, it was all gross. Until? To who? To who? In my life? I don't remember lesbians ever being gross. Maybe, maybe not to men, but... I remember them being in Penthouse magazine is what I remember. Yeah, but that was not the typical lesbian at all. No, of course not. Of course not. Not at all. And then, you know,

Then Madonna came out with Justify My Love and she was dating Inger Casares and you had these two hot women. It was like, oh, is this cool to be bisexual? Yeah. But put it this way. No one was saying the N-word and making racial slurs about people crossing the border and being anti-Semitic. I never heard any of that shit, ever. You'd have been shamed to death out of society if you made any of those comments. Really? Yeah.

For me growing up here, I never experienced it. - So what year did you graduate high school? - '91. - '91.

- Okay, so like NWA was at the top of the-- - I went to high school with Ice Cube. It's my claim to fame. - You did? - Yes. - Where'd you go to high school, Compton? - Tough tie. He was bussed in. - Holy. - I'm guessing. - Holy. - It was from Compton. - Holy moly. - Yeah. That's my claim to fame. - Wow. That is a piece of history. - But now-- - Did you know him? - I didn't fucking know him. - Oh, what a missed opportunity. - I agree. - He's been there. He's awesome. I love him. - He's amazing. - Yeah.

Point being now, the shit my kids come home and tell me is stuff that would come straight out of 1963. Straight out of Compton. If only, Bill. But what do you mean 1963? Okay, so my daughter is black. She's adopted, obviously. And she went to this trampoline park that the kids go to called Dojo Boom. She was with a friend of hers, my son, his friend. The kids get in the car and they're all amped up.

And someone says, in the corner of the kids, it's like, someone said to Lou, who's my daughter, my black daughter, "Oh, you must be amazing at basketball because you can run, steal, and jump. And I'm such an asshole." I'm like, "Well, of course she can. She's West African. She's Haitian, but she's genetically West African." Meaning, of course she can. She's a genetic specimen, right? The child is just physically insanely strong and tall. And I'm like, "No, Mom. Run, steal, jump.

I was like, wait, what? And then they're like, don't worry. I won't say the name of this kid. Kid, my daughter's friend, called him a border hopper. I'm like, okay, guys, what the fuck is going on? And I had to like go home, have a teachable moment with my children. And I was like, who's saying border hopper at school? Oh, everybody says it.

I'm like, everybody says this is the shit. Do you think anybody... Nobody... So for all this wokeness that you have in California, it is breeding some crazy, divisive shenanigans that I have never seen. It's not working. It's not working. I feel like the extremes make each other back and forth. You see this cause and reaction effect, you know? It's really insane. And if that was the...

biggest problem, I would be so happy. It's not. Like the other day in the car, my son said something that was a teachable moment again. And he was trying to be funny and he made this comment. And before I could even say buddy, no, you know, my daughter goes reclip. And I'm like, what, what, what are you talking about? And my son goes, reclip mom. I'm like, educate me. So, you know, the app reclip. So there's an app.

that the kids have weaponized their phones. So essentially, this app records your conversations, and the minute somebody says something that a Karen or a Kevin would say, you clip the last two minutes of the conversation and ruin their life. -

Oh, wow. That's the shit that I'm talking about. This is the kind of stuff. Oh, my God. I'm sitting with my daughter and I'm like, listen to me. I needed a trigger warning for that piece of information. I really did. You should have given me a trigger warning. I'm telling you. I need a boomer trigger warning for that piece of information.

- Re-clipped. - That's, again, why it's so amazing that this country hasn't fallen off the edge of the earth yet. - I'm rolling my hole in there, Greg, I guess. - Because we're just so horrible. And it just gets worse. And the younger generation is just insanely ignorant and entitled

and mean. - They're good friends. - The phone, they're not. - It's just. - They're not. - She didn't reclip him, but she was joking about something that's very real. - The phone-- - Very real. - The phone has changed them. The phone is-- - Oh, 100%. - That's the evil. That's the source of the evil. It exacerbates everybody's worst, we all have inclinations to do something wrong, and then we check ourselves.

But the phone makes it easy to be shady-- - Anonymous. - And mean. And needy. - Oh, yeah. - And fake. - Insecure. - So you come out, you raise a kid on the phone and you're gonna get a kid who's needy and fake and mean and shady. And this kind of stuff, like the caught ya, gotcha,

She doesn't have it. I know, but just... No, I'm not judging her. I'm just saying, just as a piece of information. It's a thing that they do. So much so that it was like, reclip, and I was like, what? Yeah, every day they come home with something like that that they're dealing with, and you just... I can't even... I've gotten to the point where...

I feel like I'm trying to push the river to keep them safe in every way all the time. I'm going to start a Save the Kids Foundation. I need to personally heal an entire generation. And I can do it too. Because there's about, I would say about 15 out of 100 that they just love me. Because they're desperate for someone who will tell them the truth. Because they have smoke blowing up their ass at all times.

So I could start with them and see if I could have them proselytize as a child army. One of the Crusades was led by a child army. Just 'cause it didn't work in 1257 doesn't mean it can't work in 2024. Well, they're looking for that, and they're finding it in guys like Andrew Kate. They're so-- yes, they're so desperate for guidance. -He's really scary, he's so pleased to step up. -Yes, right.

That's right. People like that. They are looking for it. They're desperate for it. This was also in the news. 30-point difference between young liberal women, young women and young men, liberal to conservative. Women are, young women, like 20s, we're talking about teens and 20s, 30 points more liberal than the boys because the boys, right, are into...

into Andrew Tate and-- - Because we're systematically emasculating them. - Right, that's a lot of it, yes. That's the big-- - And in some cases-- - Do you have a boy also? - I have a boy. - The boy is how old? - He's about to be 12. - He's about to be 12, and where'd you find him?

My ex had him, actually. Oh. So she created him. And our daughter. Oh, she had him? She gave birth to him, yeah. And when you adopted your daughter, did you specifically ask for a black baby? No? It was just you said, like. Nope. So I can tell you how we ended up finding Lou, because we literally did find her.

And the long list short of it is I went on safari in 2010. Didn't think I wanted to be there. Safari? What country? Where were we? We were all over. Botswana. Botswana. Botswana. I'm going to Tanzania in 2025 with the kids. Wow, really? That was Botswana, South Africa, Zambia, Zimbabwe. Zimbabwe. And we were at Victoria Falls. Yes. Rafting the Zambezi. Huge mistake. Wow. Don't recommend it.

And the long and the short of it is, after almost dying in the Zambezi... That's not going to happen. We opted out of the... I don't go east of La Brea. Okay, fair. I would encourage you, but maybe not the Zambezi. I am not a world traveler.

But I've seen the pictures of Victoria Falls, and it's a feist. Beautiful. Unbelievable. Beautiful. Isn't it like the biggest falls in the world? I think that's Venezuela, actually. Oh, okay. It's one of the biggest ones. I think maybe. Is it where the Nile ends? Is that where...

- Or is it the, I mean the mouth of the Nile? No, okay. - It's between, literally right between Zambia and Zimbabwe. It's called the cataract, cataract, sorry.

You jump in and you get in this raft and to make a very long story short, it's like one of the most dangerous. I had no idea, by the way. It was booked for me by a travel agent and I thought I was going to be in a jungle boat cruise with a drink and the next thing you know, I'm in a level five rapid called the Gnashing Jaws of Death.

They're choppering people out. It was a shit show. So we did not continue on with the day's activities after climbing out of this gorge at Rapid 10. But do you do adventurous things like this all the time? I do. This one was... Like how often in the year? Like four times a year you do something? All the time. All the time? Like every month? I just took the kids to go shark diving with Ocean Ramsey. Shark diving? Now what's the point?

This is the point. Okay. First of all, I'm a big ocean lover, grew up here. - Sure, oceans. - The kids coming out, I don't listen. Okay, to teach my kids two things. One, about conservation and two,

not to have fear of sharks when they're in the water, but to also understand how to be smart, right? What's gonna make a shark attack? When are you acting like prey? Is the water murky? All these different things. - Can't we have both? Can't we teach them these things and also still have fear of sharks? 'Cause I feel like fear of sharks is not a terrible instinct at all. - I don't think it's... - Really? - I don't think it's reasonable. - Sharks are not...

worthy of being feared? - Do you know how many shark attacks there are in a year? Like 120? There's eight billion people on the planet. - Yeah, but they're not all in the ocean. - Bill, how many people, Google this, I did this with my kids. - No. - Billions of people

Go in the ocean multiple times, right? Yes. Every year. I agree. You had a better chance of getting killed than a toaster in Shattuck, Okinawa. No, I agree. I agree. I'm just saying, if I saw a fin in the water, my first thought wouldn't be, oh, nothing. I would be like, oh, fear, yes. Now, be smart about your fear. Don't go thrashing about. Right.

Exactly. Make eye contact. Don't act like prey. Eye contact with those dead eyes? Really, you think you can make eye contact with a shark? Yeah, absolutely. Really? I think you need to have ocean rams. My eyes would say, please don't eat me. What are you saying with your eyes? You're just making eye contact. Really, you think a shark is seeing your eyes? Oh, 100%.

They see that good? They utilize... This comes from Ocean Ramsey, mind you, who we just went diving with. She's unbelievable in Oahu.

But you make eye contact with the shark. - Really? - And they teach you what to do. Like, if they come towards you, 'cause I'm a big scuba diver. - Right. - I love jet skis and jet surfs and all kinds of water stuff. - Do they know sign language of any kind? - You put your fins out. - Your fins? These are your fins? - You put your fins out in front of you. - Right. - And if they continue to approach them, you strong arm. - Really? - And you gently push down on their nose and guide them away.

Obviously, you're probably not going to have this happen. But I scuba a lot. I've scuba'd with schools of sharks. I've never had an issue. Cut to in real life doing this and my arm in the mouth up to the elbow and then the teeth coming down and just the stump of my arm coming out like the guy on the beach in Saving Private Ryan. Mistaken identity, surfers in murky water once in a blue moon. Okay.

Well, I... Hold on. You're a badass. Now you've swam with sharks and it redefines who you are. You're like, I faced down this fear as safely as possible. It redefines who you are. I'm telling you. No! But, um...

- Let's start with getting you south of La Brea, or no? - No, no, no. - Baby steps. - East of La Brea. - Where the fuck we're going? Let's get you out of the house. - No, I mean, I've never been a world traveler, but I have been to a few cities and a few places, and I feel like I've done enough, and you know,

I'm totally okay. People have a bucket list. I have a list of shit I don't do anymore, and it's just a great list, like Christmas. No gifts, no nothing. It's like, I just don't do it anymore. Things like that. It's awesome. And that's one of them. It's like, it was always very stressful for me to travel overseas. And some people take the stress better. And we're talking about stress with health.

It was just what you could, they could offer me unlimited amount of money to play in Dubai. And sometimes they do offer American entertainment or something like that. Yeah, I bet. I'm like, it's not worth it. Nothing against you, Dubai, but Dubai. It's there. I'm not just, I'm just not leaving. Why bother? Yeah. No upside. It's too far and too many things could happen that my friends,

febrile mind would be thinking could happen. And I don't want to, you know, it's just... But it doesn't compromise the quality of your life. Not at all. Yeah, if it did, then I'd be like, oh, hell, you know, I don't know, buddy, but it sounds like you're perfectly happy. You're clearly thriving. There's no reason to do that. I mean, there are terrible things about aging and then...

but your actual life i'm speaking for everybody i mean but i know a lot of people my age would say the same thing your actual life is better because you're not a idiot anymore you're not self-sabotaging yourself which is i think a lot i

I know for me, what made me unhappy a lot in my younger decades was like mad at myself for dumb relationship choices, dumb career choices, dumb shit that was avoidable and unforced errors. But do you think-- see, you're learning from your mistakes, right?

which is what we're supposed to do but sometimes i find people don't they don't have the ego strength it takes years it takes that's why it doesn't happen in your 20s you have to i mean i think learning is mostly about patterns

You know, you see something come around once and that's, oh, it's the first time you saw it. You're going to like, I mean, the first time I got dumped, you know, it was like, of course, the worst ever in my life because you don't see it coming and it's the, will I ever be happy again? And the second time it happens, okay, I can deal with it. I dealt with it before. You know, that's a lot of what life is, lessons and seeing the pattern. And so, you know, that's why I say Biden, I wish he would get out of the way for somebody younger, but

As far as can he actually do the job? Yes, he can. He's not senile. And most of the decisions are made in the... You think he's not senile? He's not senile. Bill! Did you see the thing where he's like, Civil War and needed more airports? And he's like, whoa! We think he's not senile.

- He's not senile. - But Bill-- - That's different. - What is that then? It wasn't happening like that when he was Obama's VP. - It doesn't, no, of course he's a lot older and he shows it. It doesn't affect what matters. He doesn't, when they're talking in the Oval Office, first of all, he doesn't talk like that because he's not, he just not, when you're old, you're not confident talking publicly. - He seems gone to me. - He's not gone. The brain is not gone. The decisions,

Do you think he's making them? I don't think he's making them. Oh, that's a conspiracy theory. Of course he's making them. How? How? He literally just called Trump the sitting president the other day. And Trump just called... He did a whole rant. Did I just tell you Trump was mentally sound? No, no, I'm just... No, but he did the same thing. People get up in the upper years, and especially when you're, like, talking in public a lot, you know, it's going to happen. It doesn't affect...

Bill. Okay. Don't give me Bill like in this area. I'm the one who doesn't know shit. Maybe you don't. I'm not saying you don't know shit. No, I'm not claiming to know anything about politics, but watch the frigging videos of the guy. I've seen the videos. He can't get off the stage. That's not true either. I've seen the videos. We've seen the same thing. The bicycle store.

He doesn't know where he's at. That's... You think the guy knows... Okay. I mean, because... Okay. Point area explored. We have a difference of opinion. Fair. You can school me on it. Tell me who I told you... Nobody knows. I'm just telling you...

When he's sitting alone, not alone, when he's sitting with advisors in the Oval Office, where the job is actually done, not in this arena, which has you so interested in, this shiny object. The shiny object? It's the shiny object that is distracting you because you're not in the Oval Office. He looks demented. And I don't mean demented crazy. He looks, exactly. I mean, like dementia. Looks, looks. In your opinion. Okay. I mean, to me, those are signs of dementia. Yeah.

Yeah, they both have some. Probably everybody does at that age. Probably everybody does. I mean, do you ever walk into a room and you forget why you walked into the room? I think there are degrees of this. Of course there are degrees. And he's advanced on this spectrum. Exactly, and that's what we're talking about, degrees. You think the degree, I think it's ridiculous. You apparently think I'm ridiculous. I don't think you're ridiculous. That's kind of your tone, yes, that I'm ridiculous to even think of this. I agree.

I'm surprised that he doesn't alarm you, that's all. I don't think you're ridiculous. What alarms me is that he's going to lose the election because this is how he looks in public. That's what alarms me. It doesn't alarm me, like, what is he going to do when they come to him tomorrow when he's in the Oval Office at 9.30 a.m.? He's probably good like a lot of people, especially at that age, in the morning.

Don't get him in the afternoon. That's fine. We can do the business in the morning. Sir, there's the bill that we're trying to get passed in the Senate, the immigration bill that Trump is blocking. Should we call Senator McConnell? Yes. And he gets on the... He can do that. He's still doing that. I know people who are very close. Okay. Okay.

It's a whole different issue than what he looks like in public. The problem is the one affects the other. Do you think he's actually going to be the nominee? Of course. Really? That's a foregone conclusion. Really? You're asking me that question? I am. Because you know on the other side of the... Well, then you're not following it that closely. This is the done deal.

Okay, but hold on, hold on. I appreciate, listen. There's no serious people running against him, and now the primary season is underway. The rumors is that even Dave Rubin and Megyn Kelly are talking about that when they get to the Democratic nomination, he's going to, or the Democratic convention, and he's going to quietly be like, oh, you know what? Not going to do it. And then somebody will slot themselves in, Newsom, Trump.

I mean, this is pure conjecture. This is just people making shit. I'm asking you because other respectable people in the news are suggesting it's a possibility. I like both Megan and Dave. They're respectable. But if this is what they're saying, and I don't know that it is, but if that's what you're, I believe you. They're saying there's a story being leaked. A story being leaked. Exactly. But it's on both of their shows. They're definitely exploring it. Use a little critical thinking on this. A story being leaked. Even Tucker says this, and I know you're going to say Tucker sucks, but I know you're going to say that about him.

Well, he so does. And these two have a lot of loony ideas also. Right-wing loony ideas. I like them both. And they're pretty, you know, Meghan is much more, I think, center. I mean, Dave's good too. He's, I think, turned on Trump. But...

They're definitely suggesting it. This is just something they pulled out of their ass, and it's not going to happen. I'll bet you any amount of money. It was a rumor, I guess. They came out of... That came out of an ass. Okay. But it's still on the show for people who are relatively credible. You know when you're leaning over somebody and going, do another set of doggy dogs or whatever those thing is where you stick your leg... Doggy dogs?

I've never asked for doggy dogs. What is it when you stick your leg out like that when you're on your... Bird dog. No, like... Bird dog. No, you're building the muscle in your ass. Bird dog. Bird dog? Bird dog. Well, anyway, that's where it came from. The place where the bird dogs are working on. It's nothing. And it's not going to happen.

They're going to wheel him out, and he'll be wearing as much makeup as Trump is by then. But if they're smart, what they'll do is write the speech like now, because nothing's going to change. Write the speech now. Have him work on it like every day from now until this convention, like is in July. And so it's like second nature to him. And so we can just...

If people just see him make one speech, and it's off a teleprompter, he can do it, but he is a stutterer. I mean, he is somebody working with that. I've heard that argument, and I understand it. No, it's just part of the equation. Let's go back.

10 years wasn't speaking like he wasn't again no no argument he looks awful this is why i've been imploring the democratic party to do something and switch him out for somebody but they're not going to do it and that is not going to happen the die is cast it's the new year the primaries have started he is the nominee and will be unless he dies or is incapacitated so

That's a fact we have to all deal with now. How do you best deal with it? Teach him the speech now. That's my number one plan. Teach him the speech now. So it's like the story about Corn Pop. He's got these stories in his head that he likes to tell. And it's because he's been telling them like any like Borscht Belt...

hack. He's been telling them for years the same stories. And so that's his go-to. You got to get it in his head a long time before. And then it's like his, oh, this is my go-to story. Yeah, I know this. And it's like Bob Hope at the end. Bob Hope would never do a second take. So like, boy, make that monologue easy to say. As a layman?

Both of them alarm me. Oh, of course. And I think a lot of laymen like myself are kind of shocked. But you would vote for Trump over Biden perhaps? I didn't vote last time and I probably wouldn't vote this time. Really? Really? You don't see a difference enough between Biden and Trump? I get it, but that's, wow. Here's my other, like some of the things, I'm curious about this one for you. I'm not there. Some of the things that are so alarming about Trump

You're going to say I'm crazy, but I see similarities. People often are like, Trump's a racist. So is Biden. No, he's not. Well, he made racist remarks about Obama. He was homies with Strom Thurmond. He eulogized the guy. He's responsible for putting more people of color in prison with the 94 crime bill. Like, this is your fucking hair on this guy? I think it's very important that we... Tell me. Tell me I'm wrong. No, I don't... This is just... What I'm going to say, I think it's very important that we listen to both left and right wing people

media sources because I don't trust anybody fully. They both, I've said this many times, they tell you they're feeding a narrative. They're stroking the audience first. They want to tell the audience left and right. But having said that, I think you're listening to too much right-wing bullshit these days. I do. I think you're listening to a lot of right-wing... You don't think this guy, all that stuff that he's done that I just listed is like... I think it's like

I just... You think the whole thing with his son is totally innocent? No, I don't think any of it's innocent or completely wrong. It's just like boring because it's like, yeah, if you want to... He doesn't think it's boring with him, though, and completely nefarious with Trump. If you want to play the game of picking out somebody who's been in public life for 50 years and who's not a perfect human being, as none of us are,

But then you have, but they crucified Trump for the same shit. That's what I'm saying. Did he work with Strom Thurmond? Yes, he was in the Senate. It's just such a dumb right-wing talking point. There's no truth in it. What about the fact that he said, oh, we've got a colored guy that's, you know, is a queen and smart. It's a fairy tale. Yes, again. Really?

- If Trump said that, we would all be like, "Holy shit." - You're so exaggerating the importance of something like that, is my view of your- - No, I felt this way about him when he was selected as Obama's VP. - It's like, you're reacting to talking points of what they want you to do. To me, there's no contest between what your issues are with Biden, which are issues,

They're minor. It's like you, I feel like you understand this on a physiological level. If we talked about the human body and the difference between dandruff and pancreatic cancer, you would get that. But in politics, I feel like it's very similar, but you're not, but you're not there with the politics. You just like Biden. When, when somebody rubs people the wrong way, Hillary, 75 million people don't like them. So maybe they also know dandruff and pancreatitis.

- Half the country is not, I don't like either of them by the way, I'm not a Trumper. - First of all, half the country always hates whoever

is the other party's president. Hates. That's a given. It doesn't end. What I'm saying is you're working backwards from, I hate him. I don't hate him. Now, why do I hate him? Because he worked with Strom Thurmond on a bill like every senator did. I don't hate him. I don't like Gavin Newsom more. Because his son is a fucking... You know, like, he's got a million fucking pockmarks on him. What would be your thought? This is one I feel like can speak a little bit...

It doesn't rise to the level of the hate you have for him. I don't hate him. I don't like him. I don't like him. I don't think he's great at his job. He does seem to be incredibly seen out. But I do think you've been listening to a lot of right wing. I listen to both. I watch...

- All the time. - Well, I'm not right wing. - I'm saying-- - But I say a lot of the things right wingers appreciate me saying about how stupid the left is. - You call it like you see it. - Yes, I do. - Okay, can I ask you, what do you think of Gavin Newsom? - I just had him on my show. - I know, I thought you were a little soft there. Thought you could have gone a little harder on the guy.

Like you brought up almonds. You nailed him on that, but he's taking money from big ag build. That's why he didn't like, oh yeah, that's some almonds. Anyway, I'm building desalination plants. You're taking tons of money from big ag, which is why almonds are still in California. That's true. I didn't know what the, you got me. I didn't know what the answer to that is. That's the answer. Or like how come

How come PG&E was allowed to get away with the 2018 fires? One of the top contributors to "SK" coming. - Well, you know, I've got like 12 minutes at the top of the show to cover the whole world.

I wasn't about to make it all about the almonds. The fact that I brought up the almonds is something nobody else would even fucking do. Okay, you're right. You're right. You're right. I'm all right on that one. You're good. But I've been trying to get Gavin to run for president for a very long time. Are you serious? Are we living in Gavin Newsom's California? Why?

- Why? - Yeah, and I'm sure your life is just a nightmare. - I left because of him. - Oh right, you're in Florida? - Moved to Miami. - You know what? I'll tell you something. - Lived here my whole life. - In 2020, I've lived here since '83. - Okay. - And I love where I live. I love California. - I lived in Malibu. - I'm dug in here. I did in 2020, when there was a week when the sun was blotted out from the sky because of fires, I did,

look at moving to Florida. Now, I think it was a little like when I was contemplating suicide when I was in high school and college.

If I got laid once, I would stop to kind of, and I don't think I was ever really going to do it. But I did actually get married. You know, I was engaged once. But, you know, there are things in your life you're like, you know what, I might do that. And part of you is like, yeah, never going to do that. Okay. So, I mean, and I think moving to Florida is in that category. But I did look at it because I,

I share your frustrations with California. I do. And those are the things I was saying to him. I mean, this is one I think I could speak to pretty eloquently. Are you happier in Florida? Yeah. What is it in Florida that's...

that compensated more than what you had here. - It feels less crazy than it does here. Here, you just-- - Florida's less crazy? - Yeah. Hear me out. Hear me out on this. - Really? - Here's what I mean. - The place where the people are on bath salts like fucking an alligator? - Your girl, Sage Steele, asked me, she's like, "What was the moment when you felt like California had lost its mind?"

And it was a piece of legislation that I can't recall. Did it affect your life? But Bill. Did it affect your life? Is the crime affecting our lives? Is homelessness affecting our lives? Was crime affecting your life here in California? Yeah, absolutely. My house got broken into. Your house got broken into? Yes. And guess what? The relationship with PG&E, my house burned down in 2018. Where's your house? I live in Malibu.

Malibu. Wow, you got broken into in Malibu? Things are rough out there. It was so nuts. Guess who let the guy out during COVID? Because I got the letter. Newsome. It was the guy's third offense. He broke into our house. He had duct tape and a video camera. Anyway, long story. But third strike, guy goes to jail, gets let out during COVID. I mean, give me...

fucking break. You're not going to hold PG&E accountable for that fire in 2018. Yeah. You're going to decriminalize everything but regulate nothing. You're prioritizing the craziest shit I've ever seen in my life.

Come on! Really? Again, my thing with Gavin is, first of all, he can win. First of all, I just like him. I think he's really smart. Is he a politician? Yes. Hello? Is he slick? Good. I'm fucking glad he's slick. Slick people win elections. Clinton was slick. Obama was pretty slick. How do you feel about the way he handled COVID?

Not for it. Not for it. Shut the schools forever. Not for it. Mind you, with no mask on at the French Laundry after saying that you can't. Again, you are just, I think you've been captured by this. No, I haven't. He's a hypocrite and that bothers me. The rules were absurd. Okay, Bill. I know, but it's like really. Bill, they were absurd. You're obsessing. I know.

I'm not, though. What was done right? You're assessing about the dandruff. If he was a COO... He went to the wrong restaurant. Really? Bill, he didn't follow his own rules. If you're going to be a leader, you lead by example. That's not fucking dandruff. If he was the COO of a company, wasn't there like a $90 billion... There's two choices.

I can almost guarantee whoever he's gonna run against from the Republican Party, although every time I make the decision independently, I must guarantee that I will think he's smarter, better at government, which Republicans don't even take seriously. They don't know how government works. Democrats are at least wonks. They actually know how government works. It's actually very complicated. You have to study it. It's arcane. It takes a lot of people in a lot of rooms at three in the morning with boxes of stale pizza and coffee.

and making and crafting laws that you'll never read but affect your life, people who actually really get things done. Is he that kind of person? Yes, I think he is. And generally, we're on the same page philosophically. Is he too far woke? Absolutely. And I've said that to him many times. And I hope that if he runs for president, one of the good effects of it, it will move him necessarily to the center, which I would like to see him more.

compared to what they're putting forth on the other side. - Can we talk about DeSantis outside of his social positions? You're talking about the coffee and the- - Could you envision a day when you would need an abortion in your life? - Okay, I said other than the social issues, but let's discuss it. - Could you still have a baby? - Hold on, initially- - Could you still have a baby?

Maybe. I still get my period. Maybe. Not in menopause yet. There you go. But hold on. I agree with you. I said outside of the social issues. But let's hold on. Your girlfriend gets your period. Hold on. Initially, his position before he ran and got pushed all the way to the right was 15 weeks. I agree with 15 weeks. Right.

15 weeks to me is plenty of time. Europe is 12. 15 weeks, 12 weeks, it's all a fucking joke to me because either you believe in this shit or you don't. Bill, there's nuance. You can't make it black and white like that. Of course you can. No, you can't. It's not that simple. A late-term abortion, they're anesthetizing the child and taking it apart in pieces as opposed to... On a certain level, if you think it's murder...

And here's my position. It's a continuum. It's shades of gray. I do think it's murder, and I'm completely okay with it. That's my position. But it is definitely becoming a life. So if you're okay to be like, well, it would be barbaric to kill it at eight weeks, but six, of course. No, they have to anesthetize the fetus and cut it into pieces. Yeah. Like, cut.

Come on. There's a continuum. - Yeah, that's worse, but it's still, you're still stopping this. - Then why in Europe is it 12 weeks? Why? And no one seems to have a problem with that. - As soon as you get pregnant, it's like the raft that's going down the river and it's gonna get to the falls.

Now, you can kill it before it gets to the falls, but if you don't, it would get to the falls and then drop out of the lady and become a human. Which, again, does not bother me at all. I think we have too many humans already, and I feel like if we never met you, you can't miss us, and we can't miss you because we never met you. Somewhere between...

conception and birth there is a continuum and the answer truthfully no one's gonna get everything they want here is somewhere in the middle his initial proposition was 15 weeks that seems fair to me you get birth control you get the morning after pill you get well at four four months i'm like okay europe's 12. i can live with four months six is absurd i agree and he got pushed there the problem is

I noticed when Gavin was on the show a week ago, I noticed like the girls around the office that day, a little more makeup. That's dandruff. That's your dandruff. That is your bullshit right there. That's not the meat and potatoes. Calm down. It's not the point I'm making. I'm not making a point. I'm just saying something.

When he did the show, you know, girls wearing a skirt today, hmm, a little more makeup. I'm just saying he, you know, as a politician, it doesn't hurt to have that effect on half the people who are voting. And I'm guessing he doesn't have that effect on you.

I can't stand him. Oh, I understand. But he does all of these insane things. He doesn't do insane things. Oh, my God. There's a law that he passed. Yes, I know. You're right. Insane law. How many of them do you want? He's approved.

Bill, puberty blockers for 12-year-olds. I could not agree more. Come on, Bill. You don't have to come on me. But to me, this is insane. You're telling me it's dandruff. I'm telling you it's not. That kind of stuff is not. That's real stuff. I confronted him on the one. The department store. The department store. He's like, oh, they wanted it. No way.

If they say they didn't, everyone's going to call them transphobic or gayphobic. No, focus on other shit, bro. You've got real problems here. California's a crazy state. But again, it's almost analogous or is analogous to the two-party thing. You only get two choices. And also, wherever you move, you seem to have liked, you seem to have adopted well to Florida, but I think it's because

Maybe you're focusing so much on theoretical things that you, I don't know. I've been to Florida. I love Florida. It's one of the states I really love. But I know if I moved there, I'd be there in like July going, are you fucking kidding me? I purposely went here. This weather is disgusting. Second home. Second home.

And they have, like, their roaches fly, which, you know... I never had a flying roach in my house. Iguanas, yes. Okay, but they do have, like, you know... What I'm saying is every place, when you move there, you find out some shit you're not going to like. So you might as well get, you know, the devil you know. As long as the devil is California. Now, if I was in Alaska or something in the winter, yes, okay. But, you know, and also...

I don't know what crazy shit. You think this state is crazy? I think Florida is the state that I think is more like this. Do you think the rules are crazy? I just think people would go crazy.

Meaning the laws, the way it's run. The book burning and that shit. I don't know what. He's definitely lost. At first, when I got to Florida, I was able to defend the don't say gay bill, which is really the parental rights and education act. I went there in 21 when the pandemic was still going on and I felt so much freer

Like, while I was in Florida that weekend. Then I-- at that point in California-- and I do, I fucking hate that about California. But again, it's like, I could make an analogy to a relationship. Do you love everything about your partner? No, it's-- it's a pro and con. And for me personally, I'll tell you one thing that I do think you would love about Miami. I'll say Miami 'cause that's where we live. I love Miami. I'm playing there in March. Oh, what a-- I forgot.

For once, an actual genius segue. February 16th and 17th, I will be in Las Vegas at the David Copperfield Theater at the MGM Grand. March 2nd in Houston at the Hobby Center. March 3rd in El Paso, the Plaza Theater Performing Arts Center. And I happen to know, and then you have to put on a card, March 23rd in Miami. So, all right, I'm going to have to. You have to go with.

Yeah, because I have my real show to prepare for. Oh, shit. That's right. I wanted to get you here for so long. You did not disappoint. You are everything I thought you would be. Like what we call... No. No. What we call easy day for a talk show host because you're a great talker. You have a lot to say. You say it with passion and you know your shit, at least about health, which is what I care a way. I'd say you had a couple of gimme's on California. Yeah.

Definitely had a couple of gimme's there for me. Well. Thank you. It was such a pleasure. All right, me too. I'm so excited you're finally matching. Yeah, me too. I guess I do that whole thing about alkalinity. Yes, please. You can never bore me with health. Just, you got to boil it down. Oh, my God.