We Can't Stop Giving Bad Opinions | Trash Taste #52
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- Hello and welcome to another episode of Trash Taste. I am boy and with me today are boys. - Hello, that's me. - The usual. - Yeah. - How are you doing boys? - I'm doing well, boy. I am tired. - We're not doing this. - Lad. - I'm doing fine. - You're doing fine? - I'm doing great. - I'm tired as all hell. - You've just been building a fuck ton of furniture. - I've just been building furniture for the past week.

- You've just been going through like the entire Ikea, like catalog and just been building that road? - Pretty much. Like it's like never, it's just like, am I at like a respawn point for Ikea furniture? 'Cause like every time I build one, another one just respawns the next day. I'm like, cool. - What's been the most satisfying build? Wait, what is the most annoying furniture to build in general on one of all your board? - Ikea, anything from Ikea. - Sometimes it's good though. Okay, what's like the item that is always most annoying?

I have my own thoughts on this. I've already decided. - I don't know. Maybe, I mean, I've built desks, shelves, chairs, tables.

- I built everything. - Name it, I built it. - What was your answer Connor? Since you seem to have one. - Okay, so. - Oh shit. - Let's get a little spill. Beds can be annoying, right? Beds can be quite frustrating. If you get the really cheap beds, beds are shit. They're either like a two by two Rubik's cube or a 64 by 64 gauntlet cube. - You know what you need to get? What we got? Koala beds.

- Is that a shout out joke? - Are you being sponsored by Koala beds right now? - No, no, no. - No, no, no, 'cause I will say I did sleep on Chris's couch and I was- - Actually, can we get some tissue please? - Oh yeah, yeah, can we take this off? Yeah, because Chris has like the sofa bed, right? - A couch, I think by them. - Yeah, yeah. - And I was like, "Chris's sofa is nicer than my bed."

- Yeah, 'cause we, I mean, I remember when we just moved here, I just bought like whatever was the cheapest option on Amazon. - Yeah, I did. - Biggest mistake. - And now I regret it because at that time, it's like whenever you move into a new place, the most difficult part is just the amount of upfront money you put down. You look at your bank account and you're just like,

"Oh, that's a really low number. "And that's a really big number I'm giving away "all at once, right?" - It's like, do I really need a microwave? I'm sure I can just slap my chicken. - Just rub it across the ground. - Yeah, it's whatever, I'll survive. I'm finally getting rid of my laundry machine.

- Yeah, we're getting rid of ours as well. - Yeah, I got rid of my cockroach infested one. - Oh, you still have that one? - Yeah, I still have that one. - Okay. - I thought you brought a new one. - He cleaned it up though. - I did clean it up, but I don't know what's been in there. So it is nice to get rid of it and get a new one. - Get something nice, you can afford it. - I'm taking the old one from this studio. - Are you? - Yeah.

- Wait, what? - Are you actually? - Yeah, 'cause we have to get rid of it. And I was like, well, I'll take it. This is better than the one I have. - Wait, are you actually taking ours? - Yeah, yeah. - This is the first time hearing about it. - Yeah. - What do you think was gonna happen with it? - I thought we were just gonna get rid of it. - I was gonna get rid of it. - Well, no, why would you do that? I'll just take it. - Well, no, because if you go to like Big Camera or like Yodabashi and you buy like a fridge from there, they have a free service where if you have a fridge already, they'll get rid of the old one for you. So I was just gonna utilize that. - What?

to get rid of my fridge. - Yeah, have you, so why do you still have your old fridge? I thought you bought a new one. - No, no, no, no, no. My washing machine, washing machine. - Oh, washing machine. - Oh, washing machine. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Okay, okay, okay. If you buy a new fridge on Amazon, there's a service that- - That's what I did. - Okay, that'll take the old one away. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You can do that with your fridge as well. - Yeah, I did it with my fridge, I did it with my fridge.

- Wait, so you're gonna- - I was taking so goddamn long to get some tissues. Why did it take two of you? - We literally asked for this like five minutes ago. - It's like a SWAT team sting operation to get some tissues. - It's the most chaotic start. - I just saw Ashley come in doing like the John Travolta like.

We have two staff and it took both of them five minutes to get some tissues in the other room. - Wait, wait, wait, hold on, hold on. - We got very confused. - Can we go back to the whole fridge thing? - Okay, okay. - So wait. - I got rid of my fridge by doing that service where I bought a new one and I asked them to get rid of it. - Right. - Yeah. - But- - Wait, but did you say you were gonna take our fridge? - No, I'm taking our washing machine.

- Oh, you're washing the machine. - I thought you were gonna take my fridge from my house. - How would I do that, Joey? - And I'm like, when did we decide this? - Explain to me the logistics. - I was like,

I was like, did this man really just be like, so yeah, I'm taking your fridge. I decided I'm taking your fridge. - I'm taking a page out of my ancestors books and just taking things from other people's houses. - I thought you were taking the fridge from the studio. - No, no, no, no, no. I already have it. You guys know I have a new fridge. - I know you, that's why I was so fucking confused. - Why would I get a new fridge? - You have to be specific.

- What the fuck? I literally just got this fridge. - It's a great fridge, great color, great average. - Okay, so yeah. - It's fantastic. - 'Cause this is the first time I'm hearing about you getting a new fridge. So that's why I was confused. - I'm not getting a new fridge. - Oh my God. - I already have a new fridge. - When did you buy the fridge?

- Like four months ago. - Wait, the cockroach- - You've been to my house. - The cockroach one? - Yeah, but I also, okay, remember when I got- - You just said, I swear to God, literally five minutes ago, you just said, "I still got the cockroach fridge." - I have the laundry machine. The cockroach laundry machine I have. - Wait, you had a cockroach laundry machine? What the fuck?

- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. The only story we heard- - Wait, wait, I've only heard about the cockroach fridge machine. You had a cockroach laundry machine as well? - Okay, so when I got my fridge, it was a two for one deal.

- Yeah, yeah. - Two for one deal. - I know about that. - Oh, okay. So they both had cockroaches in them. - Yeah. - Well, no, but they were in the same building. They were- - No, no, no, no, no. You said your washing machine also had cockroaches. - Yeah. - There might've been one or two in there. I can't remember. - Mudan, rewind the clip right now. - I speak to someone in Craigslist, the sauna fridge and a laundry machine. Is that what you call it? - Washing machine. - Washing machine. - I don't fucking know.

- A laundry machine. - The point is, they both came here in the same truck. They both came from the same place. Frankly, if your fridge had

there was like a good 15, 20 cockroaches in this fridge. I'm not, at that point, I'm not giving you the benefit of the doubt with any of your other appliances. Like how can you live with that many cockroaches? This is vile. This is actually vile. - Yeah, I don't understand some people who just like- - How big were the cockroaches? 'Cause I've never seen like cockroaches in Japan. - Cockroaches in Japan are tiny. - Thus far.

- There was like one or two that were pretty big chonkers, but there are a lot of them with a little baby ones. But like the worst part was, and this is very much a gross warning, I never spoken about this before, but like when I ripped off all the felt and stuff, there was a hole in the felt and I put it in like a fucking like bleach, I know that doesn't kill them, but I just wanted to bleach the fridge stuff. - How did you kill them?

- Most of them are already dead. - Oh, okay. - There was so many dead cockroaches inside of this fridge. Yeah, it's pretty disgusting. And I paid for that. I paid for that. - That's what you get man for using what- - Craigslist. - Yeah, Craigslist. - Never again. You know, I was the one time where I was like, I'll give Craigslist a chance. I'll give Craigslist a chance. I'll try it. - 'Cause have you ever dealt with cockroaches in the UK at all? 'Cause like, I remember like for most of my life, I had just never seen a cockroach because,

Like the UK is pretty clean in terms of like- - Imagine the privilege of living in a sanitary home. Cockroaches, what is that? - I saw a fair amount when I moved to London, but in Wales I didn't see many. - Yeah, 'cause I remember my very first cockroach experience was actually not in the UK, but it was in Thailand, right? And I remember because like my house is not like in the city center, it's like,

like right on the outskirts and we're near like a lot of like, not a forest, but like a lot of like grassland basically. So we're like right out in the outskirts of the city. So we're like right next to nature as well. So some of the cockroaches we find are pretty massive, right? And at this point I was living in Thailand with Sydney and it was just me and Sydney in the house, right?

And so I was just sitting in my living room, just chilling out. And I hear this fucking guttural scream coming from Sydney, right? She's like, I had never heard Sydney, like Sydney's already a loud person as is, but I had, no, no, but I had never heard this kind of scream from Sydney. I was just like,

I thought she just witnessed the fucking murder or something, right? That's the kind of scream I'm talking about. - She's reading the doujin or it's murder. - Yeah, so I come rushing over thinking that something serious, something bad has happened.

And I just see this fucking massive cockroach just chilling in our kitchen floor. - But yeah, how big are we talking? - Okay, so it was about that big. It was a chunky motherfucker. - How much bigger does it need to get before it starts fucking talking? - That's the point. - It was terraforming shit. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because the way the cockroaches get in, because our kitchen is pretty clean, but because we're right on the outskirts, right near the forest and everything. So sometimes they can like crawl up the drains.

and like come out from under the trees. I didn't know this. I only found out about this afterwards 'cause my first thought was, fuck, I thought our kitchen is clean. Fucking burn the entire house down and everything, right? But this was my first time. - It's like stealth mission. - Yeah. - It's like . - And like, I don't know how you guys are with bugs. I'm sure you're fine, Joey, 'cause you're Australian. Like for me, I'm not like a massive fan of bugs, no. - I don't enjoy bugs.

- I'm not a fan. - I'm not a fan of having to deal with them, but some people can just like fucking grab the bugs or whatever. I'm just like, no, I'll do like the cup method where you see a spider, you like cup it and you put a piece of paper in it and just let it out. I don't enjoy it. I'm not like scared, but I don't enjoy doing it either. - It's not a fun process. - It's not a fun process.

- You know, when there's people who like fucking grab the spiders and are like, "Oh, what do you mean you're scared? "I don't wanna fucking grab the spider. "Why would I wanna grab the spider? "Even if I don't like hate this thing, "why the fuck would I wanna have it wriggling around in my hand?" - Exactly.

- Why are you doing this? - That's the Aussie in you, right? - Why people do this shit? It's like, they think they're like motherfucking Bear Grylls 'cause they managed to catch a house spider in their hand. I don't give a fuck. I just don't wanna touch that shit. - Have I told you the method that my dad uses to get rid of cockroaches? - We'll do that afterwards. - What if he just fucking sucks in his mouth? Oh, you don't wanna have a spider in your mouth, son? - But yeah, because me and Sydney are a couple, because she's like, I feel like when you're in a couple,

the one who's least scared is the one that deals with the bug, right? - Yeah, of course, of course. - And of course it was me. I wasn't happy about it, but I was just like, "Sydney, you look like you just witnessed a murder, whatever. Get out of the way. I guess as the man of the house here, I will take care of the cockroach." I know I had to do it to him.

And I was thinking this was going to be easy, right? The cockroach was big, you know, and I didn't know that much about cockroaches at the time. So I thought- - How naive you were. - How naive I was. So I thought this is gonna be an easy, 'cause we had like, literally we had a cockroach spray and I was thinking all I need to do is get the spray, spray the cockroach, job done, it dies, I sweep it out the house. Easy, right? Now, so I get the spray and there are two parts

pieces of information that I didn't know about cockroaches before I did this. Number one, cockroaches are very, very hard to kill.

And I knew this, but I thought it's a spray designed to kill cockroaches. Therefore in my mind, instant death. That's how it's worked my entire life. Number two, cockroaches can fly. I did not know this either. - Some species or all of them. - I think all of them can fly. - I've never seen a cockroach fly.

- I mean, they have to be pretty fucking like GTFO mode to like start flying around. - So I did not know they could fly either. So it was just like crawling around the floor. - Literally terraforming. - Oh yeah, it's literally terraforming. - It's like literally last resort for these cockroaches. - So I'm just like, Sydney, get out of the way. Let the man of the house handle this. And so I get the spray out, get pretty close to it.

I just give it a nice little love tap of a spray. And what happens? It starts freaking the fuck out, right? I'm just like, yo, yo, yo, what the fuck is happening, right? And then I spray even more and then I just hear that. You know the sound where you just hear the wings flapping and then it starts flapping and then it flies and lands on my chest.

- It's like counter attack. - And then I'm in fucking flight or fight or flight mode now. And then I fucking scream as loud as I've like screamed in my life before I think. I'm not ashamed to admit how fucking loud I screamed. Five minutes after I've just told Sydney, you're a fucking pussy. Let me handle this.

I brush it off, like I fucking leg it out of the kitchen and I just like lock the kitchen, right? And I could hear, I could hear like the cockroach just like freaking out in the kitchen. All I hear is just like, - You're like, "Sindy, get out of his house now. It's his house. We gotta leave. We gotta get our stuff." - And Cindy just turns around and goes, "Did you do it? What's going on?" And I'm just like,

"Just don't go in that kitchen." And like me and Sydney were just like, we were just like in the living room. We could just hear this cockroach for the entire night just freaking out. And we were just like, "Oh God, are we gonna have to burn the entire house down?" - It'll get bored eventually. - Yeah, it'll get bored eventually. - Cockroach spray is the biggest fucking lie on the planet. Aren't cockroaches the only animals that can like survive a nuclear blast?

- Something like that. So it's like, what is in these sprays that is supposedly stronger than a nuclear blast? - That's why I don't stop until it stops moving. I'm like, you know, apex aim.

following it around the room. - Yeah, I thought that would be fine as well. Like I said, I didn't know they could fly. That was the big, oh, they could fly. This is the rules of the game have changed now. They can counter attack you now. - Well, normally I spray them just so that they're stunned for a second so I can fucking smack them.

- Oh, I mean, I don't like doing that because then it leaves like a mark. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And also it's not a guaranteed kill unless you're using like a fucking heavy food. - Joe, what's your KDA with cockroaches? - You grab like a suit shoe, right? 'Cause the sole of the suit shoes are very firm, very flat. You can just like fucking clap them on there. - Oh yeah, that's true. - Yeah. - I mean, the way my dad does it is like even hardcore. - All right, all right. - I'll fucking eat it. He's Australian, it's free food.

- So we know in our household, we already know cockroach sprays are why.

So just don't even use the spray. - Cockroach sprays are a lie. - It never kills the cockroach in one go. - Yeah, just smack them with the spray. - No, or you do what my dad does, which is in Australia, 'cause we also have like big fuck off cockroaches like that. And there was one that appeared in the kitchen. What? It's always the kitchen. They appeared in the kitchen, my mom screams, my dad walks in and is like, "What is it?" Just points to the wall and there's a big fuck off cockroach like that. And he's like, "Son."

- Eat it, eat it. - So he calls me over. I'm like, "Yes, father, what is it?" He's like, "Son, bring me two tissues." And I was like, "A bigger pun?" He's like, "Bring me two tissues." - One ply. I wanna feel it. - I'm like, "Just two." He's like, "Just two." I'm like, "All right." I bring him two tissues and he's like, "Place it on my hand."

I placed a flat on his hand, one on top of the other. And he's like, he dead ass looks at me and he goes, watch this. He goes up to the wall and I've never seen a man move this fast in my life.

And he just grabs it and it's in his hand. Like in a blink of an eye, he's just fucking, just grabs it in his hand and you can hear this thing just like around in his hand. - Did he do the anime crush? - No, he walks up to my mom and goes right up to her ear and goes, "Crunch." - Oh no. - And then he looks me in the eyes and he's like, "I love that sound."

I'm like, you are the most Australian father I could ever have and I love you.

- It's just like the weirdest fucking house on earth. - I think I was like eight years old when he did that. And I was like, my dad is the strongest in the world. That was the moment where I'm like, don't fuck with me. - That's how to assert dominance in your family, right? - You're introducing the anime villain. - If you're in the playground, you make in front of each other's dads or trying to one up each other's dads. Don't say, oh no, my dad's the president of Nintendo. No, my dad.

grabs cockroaches by hand and crushes them to death. - My dad could beat up your dad. - My dad like fucking hand grabs cockroaches. - He'd be like, "All right, nevermind. Your dad's number one."

- It's fucking like some Kung Fu movie, where it's just like, you know how- - I've never seen, 'cause I thought, I was like, is this guy really gonna catch this cockroach by hand? 'Cause like, we all know how fast cockroaches- - You were literally speed wagon watching this. - It was actually amazing. - I'm amazed by his sheer agility. - But I feel like my dad is like,

I don't know when it comes to like insects for some reason, he's like weirdly really like lucky, I guess. Or I don't know what the right word for it is. - Lucky. - Okay, he told me this story of one time he was like out in the backyard and he was with his brother, my uncle. And obviously if you're, you know, barbecuing out in the summer or whatever in Australia, there's a fuckload of flies everywhere, right? But you just, you know, fucking brush them off. It's whatever.

And my dad was like, he was like, I don't know, a teenager or something. And he had a knife in his hand, just like a regular steak knife. - Right. - And it's just kind of like had it in his hand. And he saw a fly on the table and he just went and he cut the fly's head cleanly in half. And he just kind of stood there and was like- - Is that the psychopath? - I can't believe I just did that.

- That's like some fucking Nen shit, man. That's like, what's the anime move where you can like completely remove your presence, right? 'Cause his dad just pulled that shit. - He appeared right behind me and I didn't notice him. - 'Cause like I have never successfully like caught or swatted like a house fly in my life. - Have you ever like successfully like smacked a mosquito in your hand? - Mosquito, yeah. - Really? - Mosquitoes like, they're like,

but it's doable. Fly, it's like they have like observation hockey. They know what's coming five seconds before it comes. - It's like Goku versus Frieza. It's just like teleporting or whatever. - Can't they like avoid bullets or something? 'Cause the way that they like- - Fly? - Yeah, 'cause when you, like something goes near them, like the air pressure, they like use it to like get away. - Oh really? - Or like dodge, yeah.

It's really interesting. - I don't know, I've never shot a fly with a gun before. - I swear I saw a YouTube video of someone shooting a fly with a gun. - How can you fucking shoot? A fly isn't like a massive target anyway. - "Best Marksman versus Best Fly," YouTube series. - "Marksman versus Fly." - I guess, I mean- - Sounds like a scene from an anime, right? - I don't know if this is like a fucking fever dream. I feel like, did I actually see this? - Remember that one episode of "Golgo 13" where he snipes a fly?

- I feel like 90% of the YouTube recommended, I'm like, did I actually watch that or did I make it up? I feel like I like one fourth remember a bunch of facts and stories. I'm like this one time where this guy did a thing, but I don't really know.

- He did a thing and it was impressive. - Something about a cube, you know, I don't know. Something about a cube or something. Wait, so what is the worst furniture? 'Cause I'm saying beds are terrible. I know we're going way back. - Yeah, we're going way back. You never finished it, but. - Okay, beds are terrible, but.

I think coffee tables, somehow these small things can sometimes be the worst fucking things on earth. They're like, let's make coffee tables like the most secure thing ever in existence. - Out of all the things I've built. So for the past week I've built chairs, I've built coffee tables, cabinets, you know, all that kind of shit. The worst one by far was the Ikea chairs. And then like,

It's like four pieces and they just over complicate the fuck out of it for no reason. - Yeah, actually the worst one I built were my table and chair set. And that's because when I built it, follow the exact instructions and you think you screw it tight. It'll just work perfectly. It's a chair, right? And literally every chair fucking wobbles.

It was just uneven. And I spent an entire day having to like perfectly unscrew these like screws so that the chairs were like balanced. And I'm just like, why can't you just balance it normally? It's a chair. It's literally, it should just be same length, all four chairs. No, it wasn't the case. That's why it was a fucking nightmare for me. - That's just like a dick move on the designers though, right? They were just like, I'm gonna fuck with this guy. The next guy who buys my chair.

- But like, yeah, I was like, I also agree with you about the bed. I didn't wanna build my bed so much that I just never got a bed. - Wait, what are you sleeping on? - I sleep on- - Just a mattress? - Yeah, just a mattress. - What? Do you actually? Wait, so you don't have a bed frame at home? - No.

- I actually like it, right? Because- - You can get those like, it's so ghetto. You can get the fucking, the low frames. The ones that are like literally on the floor. - Isn't it also like really bad for your floor to just have like a mattress on it? - Is it? - Doesn't it get like moldy or whatever?

- Has he looked underneath your mattress? - Isn't that the whole reason for a bed frame is to stop like the floor from molding or something? - Can you Google this? - We do have like a bed frame, but it's like one of those literally floor bed frames where it's like- - So it's just a plank of wood on the floor. - Yeah, so it's basically just a plank of wood on the floor. - You can get the floor bed frames. - And the reason for it was 'cause when we moved in, we slept on a futon at Connors for like a week.

At first Sydney was just like, why would we sleep on the floor? Peasants sleep on the floor. And me being the Asian, like I, every time I go like to Thailand, I'd always sleep on the floor at my grandma's place. And I'm just like, there's something comforting about sleeping on the floor. And I don't know what it is, but I sleep,

I just realized that whenever we'd go to like onsens or ryokans or whatever, you'd sleep on the futon floors, the futon mattresses. And you just get the best night of sleep you have in your life. And I don't know what it is. - I think it might be because like the tatami or the floor or whatever it is you're sleeping on, the hard surface, it like flattens your back out. So I guess that just like naturally gives you better sleep. But I agree, like I...

I get the best sleep in a futon. - Yeah, so like we just decided why not just fucking sleep on the floor? Like we just got a mattress. - But then you miss out on like the, you know when you wake up and you're like, oh fuck. Then you just kind of like sit on the bed with like your legs on the floor. And you're just like, fuck, I gotta get up. But like you're not fully awake. - Do you love that feeling? - I hate that feeling. - I kinda like that. - I hate that feeling. - 'Cause it's like I don't wanna get out of bed right away,

but I wanna kind of get up and I wanna put my, I wanna try to get ready. I hype myself up to actually get up. - For me there's only two states. There's lying in the bed on my phone or just out of bed. - You never like sit there at this edge of the bed being like, fuck I gotta get up and just sleep. - I kind of realized that I wanna spend the least time in my bedroom as physically possible. And I feel like you get a better night's sleep if like your bedroom is just for sleeping

Because I remember in my old place, especially when I started YouTube and we were working literally with my bed next to me, I would get like the worst night's sleep every time because I could not go in my bedroom and just go on my bed and just like go into sleep mode. Like I found that once I positioned it so I would spend the least time in my bed as possible, I would get much better sleep. - Yeah, my place two places ago now,

- Yeah, it was the same. Like you guys, you guys have been there before, the tiny apartment I had. - The fucking tiny apartment. - The tiny apartment. - With the anime man couch with all the plushies. - Well, when I was like 18, I probably would have thought that was a cool ass apartment. - No, no, no. When I first moved in, it was a cool ass apartment. - When you get older, you're like, ah, smaller spaces. - But then I very quickly realized that if your, where you work is in the same room or next to where you sleep, you get the worst sleep.

and you get the worst productive, like worst productivity. You just can't do anything because it's like, I can just turn over and literally walk half a meter and just sleep if I wanted to. - Yeah. - It's like, how can you concentrate in a room like that?

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- I feel like there was parts where I enjoyed it. Like I liked the fact that I could just kind of like turn my monitor towards my bed and I could just watch it. 'Cause sometimes watching stuff on the TV, it's real pain in the ass. 'Cause like, you know,

- On PC, you can just get the website up and then you can throw it on the monitor. It's easy. On a TV, you gotta fuck around with like all the Chromecast shit. You gotta figure out, oh fuck, which apps work for my TV, which don't, you know? And the PC, it's like whatever. - I mean, it's not that much. - It's like five more minutes worth of work that I don't want. And also I used to have a setup that I really liked where I had like a, next to my bed, I had a keyboard with like a track pad on it. So I would just like fucking apply the shit in my bed.

and then like change the- - I'm pretty sure that's how people get bedridden. - I think I was like getting there. I was trial running. - Yeah, yeah. - I mean, if I was ever bedridden, at least I know the system. - At least I can work. - Yeah, I had it all set up. It was a good system. It was big, bro.

- No, but like, I feel like, especially when I get out of bed, I'm just like way more awake. The problem isn't like- - Typically when I'm out of my bed, I'm awake. - Yeah, yeah. The problem isn't that, the problem is getting out of the bed in the first place. - Yeah, true, true. - Like having my legs hang off, whatever, that's not gonna help me.

- Sometimes the foot out of the bed free hanging is pretty good feeling though. - I still haven't figured out a way to get out of bed when it's like a cold winter's day or cold winter. - Yeah, yeah. That's why I'm kind of glad now that I moved because it's starting to get warm. So it's like a lot easier now to just immediately get out of bed because the inside of your mattress and

the outside of your mattress is pretty much the same temperature. So it's like, it's not as fucking struggle like it is in the winter. But yeah, no, to this day, I've been trying to figure out how the fuck do I get out of bed in winter? How do I like remove the 10 Gs of force that is created in the winter time in my bed?

- Because every time, I always do like the one thing I found out is like, okay, one limb at a time. It's like stick one arm out, get that like to room temperature. All right, and then get the next limb out. And then it's just like a slow process, right? It's like slow loading. - It's like when you're like going into the swimming pool for the first time and it's like a really cold pool. Is it like, do you jump in straight away or would you go one limb at a time? - I jump in straight away. - Jump in straight away. - Because that's how I feel whenever I need to get out of bed on a cold winter's night.

- You just gotta like chug a fuck ton of water when you wake up. That shit wakes you up. - Oh yeah. - Just get a full bottle of water when you wake up, just down it. - But I can chug a full bottle of water in bed.

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- Listen, I don't understand the rules of hydration Garnt. All I know is that semi waterboarding your organs wakes you up. - Which is important to show them. - It does. You know, my organs are sleeping and it's like, "Oh God, we're drowning. Oh Jesus." It wakes up.

- And you're also hydrated. So it's a win-win. - No, no, I do that. The first thing I do when I get out is like take a piss and then drink a shitload of water. - I mean, I drink enough fucking water as it is. - I hate morning pees, man. Morning pees suck. 'Cause it's always like fucking really strong too. 'Cause you're dehydrated. - It's always frothing as fuck. - Mine doesn't froth either.

- I hate peeing in the morning. - Mine's the complete opposite. - Also it just hurts. - A little bit. - Because also, no, no, wait, shut up. Don't make a face yet. - Because it's thick. - Yeah, but also because you've been holding it in all night. You know what I mean?

you wake up and you're like, oh, I really need to piss. But I'm also like, I really want to stay in bed. And then the only, most of the time, if I don't chug the water, the thing that gets me up is the, the, the uncomfort of needing to piss is stronger than my want to stay in this bed. - Yeah, yeah. It's, I think it hurts. It gets, it's like, you know- - It's a supply and demand. - It's like, it's like doing your first lift in the gym, right? It always hurts.

The bladder is like, I haven't done anything all day and now I gotta like- - Spitting like a man who doesn't go to the gym. - Yeah. - Right, it's like the first thing. - Yeah, it's like that. No, because your bladder hasn't been moving all night and then suddenly it has to move. So it's like, all right, fuck, let's do it.

- I know, I always like, mine always just like comes out easily, but I think that's just because I drink a fuck ton of water before I go to bed. - How do you not get up? Do you not get up in the middle of the night to pee? - I just find that the time it takes for the water to get in is the perfect amount of time for me to sleep. - He's like optimized. - It's just like natural, like it's just a natural alarm clock. - I feel like in the past two years, before two years ago, I never ever woke up to pee.

- Yeah. - And then suddenly now it's like genuinely I have to like fucking like precise, like precisely time when I drink water now, otherwise I'm gonna wake up at like 6:00 AM. - I almost, that's the thing. I almost never drink water before I go to bed or never drink anything before I go to bed. - Is this like an old age thing? - Is this an age thing? - What the fuck, you're 24, Michael. - I know, I know. - What are you talking about? - Am I showing early signs of 40 year old life?

Like why is this happening? - Am I right fellow older gentlemen? - I turned like 24, like the clock ticked over and I was like, shit, my body's falling apart. My life is going to shit. Like losing my hair, I'm pissing everywhere. My bladder hurts all the time. It's like, what's going on? I can't catch a fucking break. When did my body start doing this? This never happened before.

- I have this really vivid memory, this is totally out of tangent, about peeing now. Where for some reason, when I watched "Wild Wild West" for the first time, at 12 years old, for some reason, I was so, so proud of myself as like an eight year old kid that I'd managed to sit through a whole movie without peeing. - I mean, yeah, I would be proud as well. I still can't do that. - When you were a kid, did you just piss all the time? - Yes, I mean, you know.

- I still piss all the time. - Me and Garth are like piss machine 2000. We piss all the time. - This is a thing that happens in life that when you're a kid, you have to pee a lot and then you pee less. And then when you get to like mid twenties, it goes down. - No, I pee just as much now as I did when I was eight. - I think you're just getting onto like our level now of like how much you pee. - Yeah. - I'm not fond of this. - I drink like a lot of water. I mean, just look at that. - Me too.

- Look at this, this is a full glass. Believe it or not, this is a full glass of water that I've just drank. - The amount of like fucking off, like on or off camera moments on trash taste where I'm just like talking and then my glass is just empty and I have to like,

- Are you talking about your weird like side mouth drinking shit that you do? - I'm not talking about that. - Can I hear an explanation about that? Why do you do that? - I did not even know I did that. - I got you, I get it. - Sometimes drinking water is boring. You gotta spice it up a little bit.

- No, no, you've done this. You've done this where you just drank water in a funny way 'cause you're like, you're bored. - Yeah, when I was like 10. - Nah, I saw that, I saw that shit. - And then I realized, oh, I should probably just drink it how everyone else drinks it. - Thank you very much for the refill, Malin. Yes, I did need to stay hydrated. Yeah, I dunno, I just like- - You know sometimes you slurp excessively, you know, to like aerate the water. Let all the flavors come out.

- Like a fine wine. - Swirling around like a fine wine. - You ever drink water like a dog?

- Yeah, I did when I was 10. - That moment when, yeah. - Because obviously when you're a kid, you're like, the dog's doing it, clearly. - Yeah, I watched my cat do it and I was like, whoa, I wanna do that. - Why doesn't this stupid dog just drink it? - Just pick it up. - And then you try it and you're like, this is wildly inefficient. This really feels like there could have been a better way of the dog. - No wonder those mother fucks have been at this ball for like five minutes. - Are you telling me over thousands of years of evolution, the dog couldn't slurp?

- A little bit, I couldn't just like- - Just pucker his lips up. - These dogs have like near fucking echo location and you're telling me they couldn't develop a slurp? Like, I could learn that shit with a YouTube guide in 20 minutes. Are you kidding me? - How to slurp. - WikiHow, where is it? - WikiHow. - Oh my God. - Step one, don't be a dog. - How do we get onto this? I don't know. Point is stay hydrated, weebs. It's healthy for you.

- I mean, yeah, it is. - I mean, yeah, I dunno. Like I've always just drunk a fuck ton of water ever since I was a kid, which is why I think, well, like one of my biggest habits I feel that have allowed me to stay thin is that I just don't really like soda that much. It's just, I'd rather drink. Okay, here's the thing. I hate soda when it's like at full fizziness, right?

- Okay, okay, okay. We're going off tangent. I only thought of this cause- - No, no, please, please. - I only thought of this cause- - This is tangent the episode. - Yeah, this is tangent the episode. I only thought about this cause I saw like another like hot take Sydney tweet last night. - Oh, that one. - Which was like, I can't remember exactly what she said but- - It was like flat soda is better than fizzy soda. - Yeah, flat soda is better than fizzy soda. - I turned off my computer after I saw that. I was like, you can't be serious. - And I'm just like, I don't agree with that, but I,

- I half agree with that because I cannot for the life of me just like fully enjoy fully fizzy soda. Like for me, peak soda, right? I cannot drink soda with- - Peak soda? - This happens when you sleep on the floor. Just start fucking doing the- - Well, welcome to another Garnt hot food take.

- Okay, peak soda for me is soda with ice, right? 'Cause you have to like, you pour it on the ice. - So watered down soda. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I do like a little bit watered down soda. 'Cause like for me, like Coke out of a can, it's so fizzy that you just can't, I don't understand how. It is.

- It is, it is. - It's just throat made out of paper. - Oh, it hurts. - It's fine, it's just fucking gassy as fuck. Soda, a drink, is meant to be refreshing. - You can't tell me after you down a fully fizzy soda, it doesn't have to be Coke, just any soda, 'cause I don't drink Coke anymore either. But after you open it, you just hear that

like sound, you drink it down and then you do that massive fucking burp. - Yeah, the burp was very nice. - It's like the best fucking feeling on the planet. - Normally I'm always willing to try and understand your point Garnt, but honestly, I don't even know where this is coming from. Like this is weird. - This is coming from- - I've never drank a soda and been like, damn, I wish this was less carbonated. - I think that one, because like to me,

- A drink is meant to be refreshing, right? That's why we drink, right? It's meant to be refreshing. - But the carbonation is supposed to be refreshing. - The carbonation is not refreshing. - It's pretty refreshing. - It's not refreshing. - Well, I can tell you the sugared out flat ass soda is definitely not refreshing. - I don't like flat soda. I do not like flat soda. Flat soda is awful, right? It's just when it's like on ice, you get a bit of the fizz out and that's like the perfect amount of carbonation in a soda. That's why...

- If I drink soda, if I want it to be refreshing, it needs a little bit of ice just to get a bit of that carbonation out. - Who taught you this? - This man wants to hydrate no matter what. - It's like soda doesn't have water in it. - Yeah, I mean like a fully carbonated soda, I feel like I'm losing hydration by drinking that. I don't know why. - To be fair, I don't drink soda anymore either. I haven't really drank soda in like,

maybe a couple of years. I mean, every now and then, if there's like a drink bar or whatever, sometimes- - You haven't drank soda in a couple of years? - Sometimes, okay, no. Like, okay, I haven't, dead ass, I haven't like bought like a bottle of Coke or like Sprite or anything like that in a couple of years. - You know, it's not when I order at McDonald's,

- I always get tea at McDonald's. - I used to get milk, but then I just felt like a child. - Milk? Milk at McDonald's? - When the milk carton would turn up at my, you gotta get Uber Eats, you know? You'd have to order the same. - I didn't even know you get milk at McDonald's. - You can get milk in it. And the carton would turn up and the guy, you know, the Uber Eats guy would be like- - The milk man. - He'd look at me like, "Seriously? Seriously?"

- I don't know if this is like a tactical thing to get us to drink more Coke, but they just stopped putting like water in the package deals. And I was really offended by that. 'Cause I'm like, it's literally from a tap.

- Why are you offended? Just go do your tab. - Well, I just, sometimes I wanna get the value of a meal, the deal, but I- - Sometimes I wanna support a multi-billion dollar corporation. - I wanna feel like I've gotten back a little bit. I wanna save a little bit of money on this rip off, 'cause I really liked the McDonald's fries. So I want the fries with the burger. And you have to get a drink. Then I don't really know what I want.

- I don't want milk either. Just sat there in my fridge and I would like, I'd stamped it in a carton, squeezed it into my tea. Really depressingly. - You can get milk at McDonald's? - Yes. - Are you lagging? - I was just agreeing and then I was just like, wait, that doesn't compute in my mind. - Kids, kids wanna drink milk. - It's like the golden arches aim for milk. I have never seen milk at McDonald's.

- I know you can get water. - It's not like on the fucking front shelf. They're like, "Look, check out our milk." It's like, "We have milk." - I know you can get juice boxes. I know you can get bottled water. I've never seen anyone get milk before in my life. - Because no one fucking- - Yeah, no one fucking orders it. - The fucking expiration date on this thing must have been like 10 years past. I'm pretty sure they fucking dusted it off before they put it in my fucking Uber Eats order. - It's just yogurt at that point.

- Probably what they're putting into the McFlurries. - I had to fucking carve it out, it was like butter when I got it. It was so thick. - That's why the milkshakes on the milkshake machines are never working, right? 'Cause they just don't have enough milk. - This motherfucker keeps buying our milk. We need it for the milkshake machine.

- I feel whenever I buy fucking tea from Starbucks, I'm like, I feel like I'm doing something wrong. - I didn't even know you could do that. - Of course you can. - You can buy tea at Starbucks. - Who buys tea at Starbucks? - Some of them are okay actually. But I used to feel like now it's a bit more, I feel like tea has become more mainstream.

And like, I feel like- - Where? It's a fashion statement now. - I feel like 10 years ago, coffee was like the thing. It was like, everyone just, this is a weird thing. But in Starbucks, it was all about coffee, coffee, coffee. Now it's all like, everyone's chilled out. You can get, you can order a fucking tea.

- This is a weird statement. Sometimes I make a point and I know this is gonna be a really hard battle to not look weird. - I just went through that five minutes ago. - It's more like, I don't go to Starbucks enough to be like, oh, there's a new trend coming in here, ladies and gentlemen, it's tea now. - No, I just remember that like, I feel like I got mocked when I ordered tea one time at a Starbucks. - What, by who? - By my classmates.

When I was like 15, I ordered a tea and they were like- - At Starbucks? - Men drink coffee, Connor. - Men drink coffee? - I feel like it's more back then. Why would you go to Starbucks for anything but a coffee? - A coffee, yeah. - I feel like that's what it was back then and now everyone doesn't really give a fuck. You can get what you want.

- I mean, I would feel in England especially, you get a tea, you get a tea fucking anyway. It's fucking England. Everyone there drinks tea. - I think that's what it is. It's more like you could get a tea anywhere, so why did you get it at Starbucks? - Yeah, but you know, back when I worked at the BBC, here we go. - There it is, roll credits, roll credits. - Mark it off your bingo card. - Bingo. - No, but yeah, back when I worked in the office, you know, everyone would,

every so often like the newbies or like the interns or the graduates, they were always on tea duty. And I was like that one person in my entire team of like 20, I'm just like, actually, can I get a coffee please? Like literally everyone around me drank tea. That's what everyone drinks in England. - And all the interns scoffed at that. - Coffee, what's that? - Well, we're in England. - Tea in the UK is weird 'cause like, I think,

- Most British people don't even drink any other type than English breakfast tea. - Yeah. - Like I think most people from the UK, if you ask them, I want a cup of tea, they would not ever even consider anything else other than English breakfast. - Like they don't specify the type of tea. - Well, that's the thing in the UK, if you ask for a cup of tea, you get English breakfast. - It's just a PG, I didn't even know it was called English breakfast. - That's the type. - Yeah, I just knew it was tea. - Yeah, but we have brands, right? - We have brands. - In the UK, when you say I want a tea, you get the same type of tea. - Yeah. - Right, unless you specify.

- Dude, if you sit there in someone's house and you're like, "Oh, I want a tea." And they're like, "Oh, do you have like green tea or like some chai?"

- No, no, that's exactly it. - Get a lot of this guy. - Really? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - That's weird. - So if I came into your house in the UK and I said- - Maybe me. - No, no, because if you want a different kind of tea, you have to specify. - Yeah, right? - But even then, most houses, I don't think most houses have other types of tea. - So if I went into a house and just said, "Can I have some chamomile tea, please?" I'd be like- - Whoa, what are you- - Whoa, whoa, whoa. Chamomile tea? What the fuck is that? - What the fuck is that? - We just have tea. - I feel like those types of teas are almost like luxury teas.

because they always come in like fancy packaging. 'Cause like the British type is like, it comes in like 500 pack because that'll last you one month in the UK. You've got a family as well. Everyone in your family is drinking tea. So this is like when Americans ask me, "Oh, what kind of tea are you drinking Connor?"

It's like I have a tea and then I have like an afternoon tea, which I drink, you know, where you drink, like you try everything, you try the Earl Grey's, you try the other types. But if I'm drinking tea, I have English breakfast. - In the morning? - No, all day. - All day. - But it's called English breakfast tea. - It's all day. - Yeah, but people just drink it as like they drink coffee. It's like a- - Yeah, but you don't call it morning coffee. - No, no, no. - In the afternoon. - It's like Earl Grey or whatever. It's like the type of-

- It's part of British culture. You need to chill out, you just chill out with a cup of tea. - But I realized how strange it was when going to America. It's like, that's not at all how it is. - No. - It's like- - Americans don't drink tea anyway. - Well, I think they kind of do. - I think they do, but again, if you order- - But other countries, other countries. - If you order tea- - Do you know how I know Americans don't drink tea?

- Why? - Because have you seen their fucking kettles? - That's true, that's true. - Like no culture that drinks tea is built around the fucking kettles that the Americans use. - What kind of kettles do Americans use? - Oh, they're just these terrible things. They're these awful things that can hold like maybe 500 mils, not even enough cups for two people. - Yeah. - In the UK. - And you gotta put it on the stove, right? - Oh, those ones. - You put it on the stove and as a Brit, I'm like fucking the heat efficiency of this is giving me clinical depression. What the fuck is this?

- When I go to someone's house in the UK and they started doing that shit, I'm like, "What are you doing? "What are you doing? "Come on." - I'll tell you the one thing that gave me a fucking brain aneurysm as someone who doesn't even drink tea, right? - You don't drink tea. - Huh? - You don't drink tea at all?

- I drink, I'm mostly a coffee drinker. I'm mostly a coffee drinker. - Let me tell you about tea. This thing I don't drink. - I don't drink English breakfast tea a lot of times. I drink green tea. - Fancy motherfucker. - Wow, I think you're better than us. I think you're better than the working man. - I would say,

- Of course, he worked at the BBC. - I'd say the amount of tea selection in Asia just fucking eclipses whatever we have in England. - I mean, come on. - We have that tea.

- You have to go to the store manager and be like, can you unlock the safe? And he shows the other variations of tea. - The tea you dug up. - You have to like move all the other teas in the aisle to the back so you can grab these things. - Yeah, exactly. I mean, you go to a fucking company, it's like opening Pandora's boxes of tea. You know, you got an entire fucking selection. And in England, you go like, what do you got? Like Lipton Ice Tea?

- I don't even count that as a fucking tea. - To be fair, in the Konbini in Japan, it is like, here's the 59th version of green tea. And it's like, you literally can't make, I don't even actually think it's chemically possible to do 59 variations of green tea.

How much molecular division are we doing to these bonds here? - It's just like leaves they pick from the 59th leaf. - It's absurd. And half of them taste the fucking sand and it doesn't matter. - I don't like this tea, which is like, I don't even know what the fuck this is. - Yeah.

- You can live in Japan for five years and try a new tea a different day. It's fucking easy. - Well, I've tried most of them. - Yeah, you've tried every Japanese tea, right? - I can confirm that half of them taste exactly the fucking same. And there was also like, you know, in Japan they had like low fat green teas or healthy green teas. And I'm like, green tea is healthy. What do you mean?

- Wait, does green tea have calories? - No, it doesn't. - No, it doesn't. - But there's like healthier versions. - Low calorie green tea. - What the fuck is that? - Negative calorie green tea. - It was like good health green tea and I'm like, green tea is, I actually think one of the healthiest teas of all the teas. - Yeah, it is. - So what do you mean? Like what have they done to the other teas? - Guys, I can do one better. I got an idea. Zero calorie water. - Shut the fuck up.

- By drinking it, you lose calories. - But I just, going back to the whole thing, I just get very amazed that like, you know, 'cause Americans always ask, and people from other countries are like, "What tea do you drink?" You know, "I drink," they're like, "Oh, I drink Earl Grey, I drink this." It's like, "No, no, in the UK, it's not like that at all."

That's not how it works. - Are you sure that's just not like your household? - No, no, no. It's all over the UK. You go anywhere, you want a cup of tea, you get it. Like no matter where you go. - It's only in the UK where if you say tea, it means one type of tea. And I just always thought that's tea. That's just tea. Every other tea is just like the branded tea. - I guess it's the same in Japan as well. Like if you go to someone's household and you ask for ocha, which is tea,

- You usually get green tea unless you specify. - That's like the default skin in Japan. - It's also weird, like the lengths that British people would go to, to bring tea with them or like have a cup of tea available. Like I remember like, you know, when we went, whenever you go like camping or on an expedition, I remember there was a guy when we did like Duke of Edinburgh who he like, he drove a car around to keep up with us. But in this thing, there was just a whole like massive hot water tank just for tea.

so that we could all have tea. - Okay. - And I didn't think of that as weird. - On Duke of Edinburgh? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that we could all have a cup of tea when we were done at the end of the day. 'Cause that's the British people, that's how you signify that work is done. - Yeah, work is done. - But also like whenever we went paintballing in the UK or anything like that, during the break you'd get tea. You'd be like fucking warfare and it'd be like, "Stop chaps, time for the tea break." - Tea break. - And you'd go for a tea break.

And now that I think about this out loud. - It's so weird. - And I'm like, yeah, we go to like, no matter what you're doing in the UK, someone is gonna try and put a cup of tea available. The stereotype is totally true. - It is totally true. Like the best analogy I can think of is that to Britons, to Brits, a cup of tea is like the equivalent to like a cigarette break, right? It's just an excuse to like put on the kettle, like get like...

drink a bunch of tea and just chill out for like five minutes. - We have those in Australia. We don't have tea breaks, we have smokers. - Smoker. - Two shots of vodka and back to work. - All right lads, smoker? All right, let's go. - Getting back to why I know like Americans don't drink tea, right? - Kettles are shit. - Yeah, one, kettles are shit. Two, like, okay, so I remember I was staying with Sydney

And so she had like a little bit of, or someone had a sore throat, right? So we just needed some warm water, right? And so how would you make warm water, right? - Boil it in a kettle. - Boil it in a kettle and then put the hot water in and just fill it with cold water. So Sydney takes the mug and fills it up with water, puts it in the microwave. - Oh no.

- Puts it in the microwave and puts on a counter. And I'm just like, what are you doing, Sydney? I feel like I'm getting a brain aneurysm just watching this right now. - That's horrible. - And I was just like, there's no way this is normal. There's no way this is fucking normal. And so she says, no, it's a normal thing here. And I'm just like, bet. And I tweet, I'm just like, Americans, is this a normal thing to do? And the amount of like, what's wrong? How do you heat up your water? Like, I'm just like,

How is this? How have we gone through like thousands of years of civilization to heat up water in a microwave? - I'm gonna do my obligatory insult Americans podcast. - Mark that off the bingo. - Americans literally think the microwave is like the tool from God. - Yeah. - You can do everything. - Fuck. I've learned the kitchen nightmares has taught me that. Thank you. Okay. It's totally reality obviously.

- I don't know. You know, I recently, I abandoned my kettle in Japan. I got rid of it. - Really? - 'Cause it was, you know, British kettles are intense. Like, you know, when we boil kettles in the UK, it's done in what, like one minute? - Yeah. - Two minutes max. - Yeah. - That's a shit kettle if it's any longer than that. - Yeah. - You won't get even the shittiest of kettles. Like the worst kettles you find are in hotels.

that like you put the water in, you come back 40 minutes later, shit's still boiling, making like the world's loudest sound somehow. It's like, how is this the shit is, this is a change. Surely you could have got a deal from the manufacturer to get a not shit kettle. - Half the water's evaporated by the time you- - Yeah, literally it's gone by the time you fucking put, you get fucking 200 milliliters of water. It's like not even fills up the cup. It's absolutely abysmal. It's like pretty, like wasted half the fucking hotel's electricity as well. It's fucking dreadful.

- In Japan as well, they have the same thing. And America is the same. The kettles take so goddamn long to boil and they're so shit. I got so tired of it 'cause I'm streaming between games. I don't wanna be waiting for like five minutes. - Yeah, exactly. - I'm streaming. I can't sit there and wait. So I found, Japan has these things that I've, again, I've never seen these before. They have them in conbini's where it's like this boiling water jug.

- Oh, I know, I know the ones. - Yeah, but you can fill the ramen up. - Oh, yes, yes, yes. - The ones where you can pour it, right? - Yeah, right. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - It's like a two liter jug or whatever. You fill it up with water and then it boils it, or it doesn't boil it, it puts it like, you can choose the temperature. - Yeah, yeah. - And it's just always hot. - It's always hot. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And I think it uses less electricity than constantly reboiling a kettle. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And yeah, I felt so big brain. 'Cause now, you know, when I- - You just have hot water ready, right? - Literally, I can just go to the thing, put the bag in, boom, hot water. I'm like, shit. - 'Cause that's what every Asian uses for like cup ramen. That's the cup ramen machine and tea machine. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I'm like, shit, maybe kettles are.

- Absolutely. This is the way. - Goodbye, kettles. - I was kind of like, "Shit, a kettle has been like the first appliance I buy ever." - I never thought about it like that 'cause I've seen that all the time in Asia 'cause that's just readily available whenever I'd come to Thailand. Holy shit. Yeah, that's true. That's true. That is more efficient than a kettle. - It's so much more efficient and you literally have it ready. - But anything's better than a fucking microwave, okay? Please don't do that stink shit. Stop it. Get help.

- In a, it's called sixth form in the UK. I forgot what it's called in America. There was a guy and we had like a, we had a microwave and a kettle in our dorm room or like chill room. It's for like the, you got two years left. And this guy was like, "You want a cup of tea?" I was like, "Yeah, I'll have a cup of tea." You won't believe this man. He puts water in the cup, puts the tea bag in and then puts it in the microwave. - Oh my, I'm about to cry.

- I'm about to fucking leave right now. - He pours the water cold into the cup with the tea bag, cold, lets it like stew and puts it in the microwave and heats it up. And I've never seen anyone else do this. And I'm like, who taught you this? Like someone had to teach you this.

because no one else would ever do this. And I'm like, I bet his fucking parents are freaks. What else do they do? Do they like fucking eat their toenails? Like what else is going on in this household? Like you can't trust them when they do that shit. - It's like the family was like, let's make some tea and it's cold. And then one day they discovered,

People drink tea hard. - And then I realized, I'm like, shit, this is the most British thing ever, 'cause he got shit for it for like a year and a half. - I think he could be in America and get shit. - He literally got bullied for a year and a half for making tea wrong. Isn't that the most British thing you've ever heard? - Well deserved, if you ask me.

- Honestly, like, you know, like, you know, like that fucking meme where, you know, if aliens ever invaded like humanity and they had to blend in with the crowd, that's the kind of shit we would look out for to be like, oh, you're, you're an imposter right now. - I do make tea human.

- It's like the most alien move ever. - Cup of tea. - Honestly, there's nothing more British than being like very possessive over our tea and being very protective over our tea. - Did I tell you about the shittest cup of tea my brother ever made me? - Okay, go on. - He made two of them. He made two of them. - Okay. - Go on. - And this is the problem when you kind of do it half right and then fuck up one step is that it looks good, it smells good, it looks as it should.

- So the first time he did it for me, I asked him to make me a cup of tea and he reluctantly said yes. I can't remember how I convinced him 'cause he would never do anything right. He's your brother, he never does anything nice for me. - Must be in a good mood. - Yeah, I know, I must have done something right. So he makes me a cup of tea and I'm drinking it and I'm like, I get to the end, I'm like, "He fucking ripped the bag open."

- What? - 'Cause he never made a cup of tea before, so he assumed the bag was like, oh, this could be- - Why is all this shit in his bag? - Because I think what happened was is that he'd had instant coffee before. - Right, right. - And he thought it looked like instant coffee. So he thought that you rip the bag open, pour in the perfectly portioned instant tea, and then he stirred it. And then I get to the end of this, and I fucking choke it on his shitty tea leaves.

And then I scolded him, I never let him forget it. And then again, like a year or two later, he makes me another cup of tea. - How do you fuck up a cup of tea more than once? - So this was actually at the paintballing place, I remember this. - Drinking tea, bro. - Literally fucking freezing, right? We're covered in mud, I'm like, "Oh, I just want a good cup of tea." I was like, "Oh, and you're on the..." 'Cause it was my little brother, some of his friends, some of my friends.

And I was like, "Oh, you're on the tea duty." So he goes to make a cup of tea for like me and like six of the people. I swear it must've been like, you know, like it was like some kind of cult poisoning-esque thing because we all drink our tea and when we get to the bottom, he fucking left the bag in.

He put the milk in, right? So you can't see the bag. And then when you get to it, a fucking tea fucking bag hit me in the face. - You literally got tea bags. - The tea bag hit me in the goddamn face. And I'm like, what the fuck?

I'm like, you're British, you're 15 years of age. You have no excuse. This should never have happened. There's literally, there should have been things to stop this. Isn't this what school is for? - Of all the different ways he could have fucked up tea, he did all of them. - Pretty sure he could be exiled from England for doing that, right? - I'm pretty sure a lot of British people would like kick you out of their house if you made their tea like that. - Probably why Brexit happened, right? They're like fucking Europeans can't make a good cup of tea. Out.

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- But wait, there's more. There's never truly been a better time to try Harry's. Go to harrys.com/trashtaste to start your own Harry's journey or to save a few bucks on a special gift for a special dad in your life. - Sons, I'd say that's a pretty special offer. - Thank you, Father. Back to the episode. - I am curious though, Joey. So what's the one sign you look for to know that you're talking like to a true Aussie? 'Cause for us Brits, it all revolves around tea. What's Australia patriotic about?

- Good question. - How many cockroaches have you eaten? - Do you spray? - Not a Taurasi. - I don't know. I'm not very patriotic. - No, no, no, England. 'Cause obviously England's not very patriotic, but when it comes to tea, yeah, we're fucking patriotic as fuck over there. - Are we not patriotic? I feel like I've met a lot of way too patriotic people. - I mean, not to say, you know, like I don't love my country or whatever, but like, I don't know.

I guess maybe, God, it's hard with Australia because I feel it's such a melting pot of different cultures that like all of my friends in high school had like something specific about their family that made it like very distinctively Aussie. - Right. - I'd say like, I don't know, maybe the type of beer you drink.

- The type of what? - I drink real Australian beer. - Oh, the type of beer. - Fosters. - Yeah, if you say fosters, then you are getting exiled from Australia. I don't know. And then I guess like what you order at a pub.

- I don't know. - Yeah, basically. - We don't really have much culture. - This is like the 40 year old virgin scene where he's describing how it feels to feel a boob. Where it's just like not even remotely real. It's like Joey be like, "It's the type of beer they order." - I'm just throwing guesses out there. - It feels like a bag of sand. - That's right. - A bag of sand, yeah.

- Fucking brilliant scene. - I hope people, if you get that reference, that'll make a lot of sense. If you don't, that'll make no fucking sense. - Go watch the 40 year old version. - Yeah, if you haven't, watch that film. - I don't know, like with- - I feel like you're- - With Aussies,

it's just, you start talking to them and then you kind of get a sense of it, right? Like you just know, you know how much of an Aussie is with like just the way that they interact in conversation and the way you get very like immediately close to them. - Oh yeah, I feel that as well. For me, like whenever I meet an Aussie,

I have this thing where it's like, it's the CPM. Like, you know how music has beats per minute. So when you talk to an Aussie, they have cunts per minute, right? - I'm so confused. - I was like, cunts per million? What?

- No, like the amount of times they use the C word in a single sentence. You can fucking count that shit and like put it as a CPM, I swear to God. - That is true, that is true. - I don't know what you're typing words per minute is. I wanna know what your CPM is. - What's your CPM?

- That is true. We call our mates C word and we call C words mates. That's how it works in Australia. That's exactly how it works. Like if you see a friend from across the street and you want to call out to them, you'd be like, "Oi, cunt." But if you bump into someone at a pub, right? You'd be like, "Oi, mate." I feel like if you hear an Aussie doing that, that's a true Aussie. If they're not afraid to say the C word.

- Going back to like the fucking bugs and spiders, as someone who did grow up in Australia, some of the shit you've seen, right? Do they scare you at all or are you just like unfazed by them now? - I'm only scared if I know it's poisonous. - Okay. - Yeah. So like there was this insect, so on "Journey Across Japan", we talked about a couple of episodes ago, but like we went into this like area where there was a lot of creepy crawlies. - Right.

Chris was not okay with any of the creepy crawlies as the true Brit he is. He's not okay with any creepy crawlies. And there was this one particular insect that I saw, which I mean, you'll see it hopefully in the episode when it comes out, but the only way I can describe it is it looks like a centipede and a cockroach had a baby. That's what it looks like. It's like, it moves around like a cockroach, but it's kind of got like the body of a centipede. It is like true nightmare fuel.

- What the fuck? - I didn't even know it moved on. I didn't even know if you want to like put the image on the screen or whatever, but like, yeah, it's horrible. So like I saw that in this like little area. Chris obviously freaked the fuck out. And I was freaking out because I didn't know because there's, I think there's like a breed of centipede in Japan that's poisonous. - Aren't all centipedes poisonous? - Not all, no. - Okay. - Some of them taste good.

- That's what my dad said. - I'm pretty sure they're edible. - Are they? - Yeah, of course. - I mean, I'm sure they are. - Fantastic source of protein. - I'm pretty sure cockroaches are edible too, but I don't eat them. I'll give them to my dad. - That's why I love the food on "Kitchen Nightmares" because it always comes free with them. - Yeah, exactly. But like, I didn't know if that was the breed of like poisonous centipede. So that's what was freaking me out. I was like,

- If this thing is poisonous, then I'm scared. - Joey's like, "Get out the fucking Pokedex." - No, I legitimately, I literally on the spot, I looked it up. I was like, "Poisonous, Senna B, Japan." And I looked it up and I referenced it. I was like, "Okay, it's not it." - It's like the filtered version with the nice one. You're looking at the IRL like, "Fuck." - Expectations versus reality. - It's got like a mad filter on it here, dude. Fuck, it's been a glamor. - Yeah, I don't know.

Obviously there's lots of like creepy crawls and shit in Australia, but like the reason why I'm scared of a lot of them is because a lot of them can kill me.

- Yeah, I mean, I'd say- - And I'm not okay with that. - Listen, I don't like bugs at all. I'm frankly quite terrified of them, but I'll deal with them still. I think that's, you know, that's, you know, manly. - That's admirable. - That's manly. - Yeah, that's admirable. - Admitting that you're a little bitch and then dealing with it anyway, that's real men. - Like if I know it's not poisonous, I'll fucking touch it. - But like, at what point do you see like an insect or creepy calling? - I don't get scared by any singular insect. It's like the thing that terrifies me most is like swarms. - Well, yeah, of course.

- No one's gonna be like, "Hell yeah." - Swamps of anything terrifies the fuck out of me. There was a video and it was like, "South Australian farm gets overrun by a horde of mice." - Of locusts? Of mice? - And shit you not, dude, it looked like the floor was moving. There was so many mice running, it was terrifying. And if I'm sitting there, that's my farm, I'm like, "Well, I'm out of a job. I can have it."

- Have it, it's yours. - Guess I'll die. - Have the fuck. What the fuck am I gonna do? - I feel like there are so many stories I've heard from just talking to Australians that I'm just like, man, how much did God just hate Australia? And yet people still have found a way to live there. - Okay, to be fair, my place, my parents' place is like, our backyard is right next to a national park. So our house was basically just

a house for creepy crawlies. It was like the first destination. Like we got snakes and spiders all the fucking time. But after a while we're just like,

- I mean, we do live right in the fucking bush. - I was wondering, was there an old medieval method of determining what's poisonous or not? Or was it just give it to some poor- - Trial by fire, innit? - Was it really just like you just give it- - I've always thought about this. - They must've just had one rich guy who was like, "Well, random bunch of the people who can't afford much." - How do you think people discovered what mushrooms were poisonous? - Isn't that tragic though? You're just like, "Oh, hi, what's your job?" "Well, I'm a poison tester. I'm three for three at the moment."

- Hope tomorrow will go well. - Do you know what blows my mind? How the fuck did like people in Japan figure out which part of the puffer fish wasn't poisonous? Like how many people had to die to know the exact methods? - But why also did someone die? They were like, we're gonna try it again. - One more time. - Guys, guys, guys, we're a hundred to zero on the puffer fish right now,

but maybe, maybe this one time. - There has to be somewhere on this thing that's edible, right? - I just feel like after you find out something is poisonous, I think it's okay to give up and not eat it. That's what I thought. - We gotta make sure the last guy might have side effects that we had beforehand. - Have you had the puffer fish?

- Yeah, a couple of times. I've heard it's very underwhelming. - It's not great. - Listen, if I'm gonna die, I want it to be not worthy. I want the risk to be worth the reward. - Yeah, of course. - And it just looks like really shitty, like sushi, not sushi, what's up? - What does it even taste like? - Nothing. - That's what I've heard. - It actually tastes like nothing. - It's just grown men wanting to die. - Yeah. - No, it's literally just a status symbol.

- It's to just say that you've had a puffer fish. - 'Cause I've seen the videos and I'm just like, this just looks like you're eating like fucking cardboard. - It tastes like it doesn't look like you're like eating anything. - You do know what it tastes like? The soy sauce that you dip it in. That's what it tastes like. - I love unagi. Unagi is one of my favorite Japanese dishes. And I found out apparently if you cook it incorrectly, it's fucking poisonous.

- No one told me that. - That's why it's so expensive. - It's poisonous as fuck. It can kill you. - You know, I'll fucking risk it. - That's one thing I will risk. - Yeah, yeah. - 'Cause it fucking slaps. - And then I was like, you know what? The element of danger adds to the taste now, frankly. But if it's not very good tasting. - I feel that's why a lot of people eat puffer fish as well. It's like the element of danger adds to the taste. Whatever taste they're tasting, I don't know. - Why does everyone just wanna die? - Do you reckon there's a guy out there

- They're just like, "God, kill me. "I hope it's this time around." - I'm pretty sure that's whoever, I get it, right? Because you know when you see poisonous berries? - Yeah. - I still really wanna try them 'cause they look so delicious.

- You were a kid, yeah. In the UK there's so many poisonous berries. - Is there? - That's how nature fucks with you, dude. It's the ones that look the most delicious that kill you. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 'Cause like those bright little red things, you know, you see them everywhere. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Oh, okay. - That look so fucking delicious when you're a kid. - They look like mini tomatoes, right? - I just wanna have a, get a bunch of those and just see what happens, you know? - Just see what happens. - See what happens. That's probably how people found out they were poisonous, right?

- Well, I get it. I mean, okay, let's say you haven't got much food, you're struggling, all right? You ever wandered through the forest or the park, whatever, you see a bunch of, you see a bush, enough food for the family.

- Enough food to kill the family. - Nobody told you they're poisonous. Also who got poisoned by a mushroom? It was like, no, no, no, no. It wasn't supposed to be this type of mushroom. It goes out and tries another one. That's like a very bold thing. Like who's doing this? - Well, someone had to. - Someone did it back in the day. - I'm convinced it must've been people with too much money being like, I will literally pay you a thousand dollars

Like when's the Mr. Beast video coming out where he's like, "I pay people $100,000 to try mushrooms to find out which one's poisonous."

- How much shiitake mushroom will kill you? - Eat mushrooms, last one to survive wins a million dollars. - If you want people to do it, just make it a fucking TikTok challenge, yeah? - So I found this mushroom in my cupboard. - TikTok mushroom challenge. - The death cap challenge. - Today I'm eating a death cap.

- Hope I survive. - Oh my God. - I think I would rather try my luck eating a poisonous mushroom and just try my chances of surviving as opposed to putting my hand on my iPhone for four days, you know, for that, keep your hand on the iPhone. - Oh yeah. - Oh, that one. - I think I would actually rather poison myself than do that for four days. That sounds fucking horrible. - Yeah, I know. - I'm sure the pain would be over within two days. If you just get to go to the hospital, get it all sorted, you'll be fine. - Just get slight arthritis and you'll be all right.

- I mean, it's not a bad one. I'm sure there's mushrooms out there that just make you like very much vomit. - Yeah. - Which one would you rather, Garnt? Would you rather vomit profusely for like four hours or would you rather put your hand on an iPhone for four hours and you can't sleep?

- I mean, I probably, you mean four days? - It's like four days, four days, not four hours. It's very easy. - Oh no, four hours, four hours. - Listen, have you ever tried to stay up past like one day? - Dude, like how long is the longest you've stayed up? - Like a day and a half. - For me it's like 36 hours. - Yeah, 36 hours. - And that's where it starts to get like fucking weird. Like your brain starts to like wanna fucking like turn off. - Yeah, yeah. - Desperately. So like, and I feel like by the third day,

what on earth is going through your head? Like I couldn't do that. And that's why I would just rather eat the fucking mushrooms that might poison me. Can you Google it? Is there any mushrooms that will just make me throw up a little bit?

- Like a little? - Like not kill me, but like. Is this an option? I just wanna make sure. - This is not. - Is this DLC? - I wanna make sure I'm playing with fair rules here. - I mean, I wouldn't want to do either personally. But personally, both sounds like hell, but. - Listen, someone's gonna come up with it. They'll be like, now it's the mushroom cleanse. You know, this mushroom will detox your body. Yeah, 'cause it's making you fucking lose it all. That's what they're doing, man.

- Oh my God. - Muscarine. - Muscarine? - Muscarine. - What does it make you do? - For, I guess, after 15, 30 minutes, you'll start getting like diarrhea and decreased blood pressure. - Oh wow, that sounds pretty bad. - Yeah, that sounds pretty bad. - You're vomiting, but you recover within 24 hours. - Oh, I mean, that's good then. - Brilliant, what was the call again?

- Muscary challenge. - Muscary challenge. - I'm kidding, I'm kidding. - For safety reasons, we are joking. This is a joke. - This is a joke. For legal reasons, this is a joke. - We are just joking around. Please don't do that. - It's only 10% less deadly than the cinnamon challenge. So it's okay.

- Makes you wonder how that was ever allowed. - God, remember the fucking cinnamon challenge? Did you guys ever do that? - No. I've never done any, the only challenge I've done is like the ice bucket challenge. - Yeah, I did the ice bucket challenge. - That was for a good cause. - Yeah, that was for a good cause. - And also, you know, it's pretty,

- It's pretty easy. - Yeah, it's like breathe oxygen for 20 minute challenge. It's like, I guess I won't do it. - Yeah, you get mild discomfort for like a second. That was the ice bucket challenge, right? - I got tanked though, I never did it though 'cause I was feeling quite lazy. I didn't wanna get a bucket. Where do you get a bucket big enough when you're like 15?

- Far from your dad. - Does your house not have one? - Probably somewhere, I just didn't wanna find it. - Just like a mop and bucket, right? Every house has a mop and bucket. - I'm pouring a fucking mop bucket over my head. - Or just get like a big pot.

- Yeah, that's what some of my friends do. - Well, I mean, perhaps when I was 15, maybe I should have been, you know, I wasn't too fond of doing it anyway. I was like, oh, I don't have a bucket. Oh, fuck. - I hate you, Harry, obviously. - Well, no, that's the thing though. Shit like this, it's always like, what is me, a 15 year old kid on my Facebook with 200 friends? What is this gonna help? - Oh yeah, this was like pre-YouTube, wasn't it? - This was pre-YouTube. - No, no, no, it wasn't.

- No, no, for Connor. - Oh, for you, yeah. - It's like when I was in high school when this was coming out and I just thought, what am I, realistically Connor, what are you gonna contribute? A little bit of an ego boost, taking part in something? - Yeah, just do it with your mates. - What is it Connor? Come on, you already fucking helped. You're not doing this for charity, Connor. You're doing it because your friend tagged you. - Yeah, exactly. - Can't even get the clout from it. - What's the point?

- Why donate to charity when you can't get clout from it? - What, no, I was 15. 15 year olds who donate to charity are like the biggest dick 15 year olds. They're like, "I've got like 10 bucks, have it, have it." I could have bought something good for this. Thank you.

- I feel like, I'm not gonna lie, when I was 15, I probably didn't give any money to charity 'cause I didn't have any. - Well, yeah, obviously. - Most of us didn't have any money at that time. - What I did though, it was like when my mum gave me a pound and she was like, you know when it was like,

- Oh, the own clothes day, own clothes day. - I'd give a pound, I'd be like, it's on me, it's on me. - This is not from my mom, I swear. - Guys, guys, don't worry, I'll break out the bag. - We all got this from our parents. - I got changed guys. - This is what I hated to do. Like I wish there was like some kind of like system where, why do I gotta be the messenger for my mom's money? Like why do I gotta bring this shit in?

- What do you mean the messenger? - Like, can you collect the shit from my parents? Why do I have to bring in money from my parents? - It's a pound. - You're not carrying a fucking briefcase of cash. - I just spend it, you know? I never did actually. - I knew people in my school who just fucking spend it.

- I mean, there was plenty of good places. In my town there's a thing called a pound bakery. Did you ever have one of these? - No. - I think it's in the UK. - Greggs? - No, no, it's even cheaper than Greggs. - Oh shit. - You could get two pasties for a pound. - The fuck's a pasty? - Oh yeah, pasty is a very British thing as well. I've realized this after moving out. - You know what a pasty is?

- Like a pastry? - Yeah, well, yeah. - Kind of. - But it's got like a lot of meat inside of it. - Yeah, it's got some meat, potatoes. - Let me tell you the most popular fillings for pasties in the UK. There's cheese and onion, which is just a bunch of cheese and onion. - Okay, thank you. Like beef pasty as well, right? - There's kidney and steak. - Yeah, yeah, that's the one. - Like a pie?

- Kind of, kind of, but more of a pastry. - I'm not a big fan of pies. Pies are a little too thick, the crust. They're really popular. - Like a sausage roll? - That's always there. That's always one of them. That's a sausage roll. And they'd be like, one of my personal favorite was the sausage, bean and cheese melt.

- Pasties? - Which is just sausage, beans and cheese shoved into like a pastry. - And melted in the ice cream. - It's like, now that I think about it, it's probably like the closest thing you'd get. Not like in terms of like cultural importance as like an onigiri. - Right, right.

- A pasty is just like a British onigiri. - It is, isn't it? It is. - I just realized that as we were talking about it. - The reason why it became popular is 'cause obviously coal mining was a massive thing in the UK is that they needed food that wouldn't go bad and they would literally put these things in their pockets.

and they would just eat them in the mines. - Right, right, right. - And for some reason we decided that that was just great. - So now it's your only year in there. - Yeah, it's a British idea. - Fuck jelly donuts. - You could get two pastries, which pastries are pretty fucking filling things, for one pound. And I was like, "Holy shit, this is insane." - That's pretty good. - Yeah, two pretty good things. - And they taste good, right? - Yeah, they're really good shit. - Oh shit. - How were your school dinners back in the day? - Fucking dreadful.

- I'd rather eat the mushroom that made me go out. It was absolutely terrible. The only thing that was good was like toast for some reason tastes really good at school. And I always toast, do you ever have this? The toast tastes different, like wildly different wherever you go. - I mean like this type of bread that you eat. - It's like, it's not even like, I feel like toast doesn't even taste remotely the same. - 'Cause toast here tastes completely different to anywhere else. - Yeah, but as well, like when you make toast at home, it has a completely different taste to when you get toast at a restaurant.

Like it's wildly different, I think. It doesn't even taste like it. - Like back in the day, I feel like fucking school dinners were kind of like prison food, almost, right? You'd go in the fucking cafeteria. There was always these, like, you know, the lunch ladies, they always looked depressed as fuck. And you'd come in with like your tray. And now that I think about it, it kind of just felt like you're in prison. - We didn't even have that. We just had like a cafeteria, like a, we called it a tuck shop. - A tuck shop, right? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys have tuck shops, right?

- No. - What the fuck is a tuck shop? That's a very Australian thing I just realized. So it's like a tuck shop in Australian schools is basically this like booth that you can just go and just buy like food items. Like, it's not even a cafeteria, it's not even a room. - It's like a store. - It's like a store basically because like our schools didn't really, a lot of schools in Australia I think don't really have like full on cafeterias because none of them are like big.

to have full on cafeteria. So like the only like experience of like cafeterias I ever had as a kid was like watching the Simpsons. - Okay. - Like that was the closest I ever got to like a school cafeteria. - Australian schools like- - There are no schools. I didn't know a single school in my area or in Australia at all that had that.

- Like school lunches in the cafeteria. - Like some guy just fucking drops off some shit in his truck. - Hey, go for it kids. - I bought some fucking sausages, here you go. - Yeah, you literally just go to like a stall kind of thing and there'd be like a canteen lady there or a cafeteria lady. And it's just like, you just buy stuff. - I just like smooth talk them. Or I used to always be really, really fucking nice to the cafeteria ladies, so they'd give me extra food. - Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Whenever like my friend's mom was like the cafeteria lady, I'd be like, hey, come on, come on.

- Let me in, let me in. - Give me some of the back stock. - No joke, I would literally be like, I would go, I'd be like, "That food is amazing. "That was fantastic." - Seriously? - Yeah. - Compliments to the chef. - I would literally, I would always like go back, I'd be like, "Thank you so much, that was great. "That was fantastic."

- Did they give you anything for it? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. So after a while of doing this, they would like make specialized things for me. - Wow. - Because I would always, my mates gave me so much shit for it. 'Cause they're like, "Why are you fucking sucking up to them?" I'm like, "Well, look at my fucking meal."

I'm eating like a king today. Enjoy your slop. They custom make the shit. It's off this fucking line, bro. - They're like, "Yo, Connor's rolling in. Bring out the good shit." - Bring out the good shit. - Bring out the action. Bring out the three course meal. - They're about to serve me and the other one's like, "No, stop. It's Connor." - Do you know who this man is? - He says, "Thank you."

- So they used to make like, so this is again, like another fucking really British thing. Jacket potatoes. - Jacket potatoes? - Yeah, I know jacket potatoes. - Literally just like- - It's a potato. - It's a potato. - With butter. - You stab it a bunch and maybe you cut it open a little bit, you put butter in it.

- Baked potato. - Oh, baked potato. - And you wrap it up, it's called jack potato. - It's just potato with butter. - And they would just give it to you, like just that. And I was like, come on, I'm better than this. And I was like, I know you got some tuna in the back there. I know you got some beans and cheese. Can you pull that shit all over it? So they would make like, normally it was just, you'd get jack potato, but 'cause I was really nice to them. They would put like tuna in there, which I fucking love, beans and cheese as well. And I would rock up like, yeah, boys, I'm eating like a king today.

- It's very good. - You're literally like James Bond that shit. You come up here like, huh, come on. - The reason why I did it is 'cause I realized that like one of the other kids who was like way older than me got like a bunch of like really, it looked like he always had like everyone else's tray was like peasant tray and this guy always had like a stacked fucking tray. And I was like, what does this guy do?

'Cause like they don't give you extra if you ask, they just laugh at you. So I was like, "Oh, fuck, what's he doing?" And I watched him and he was just like smooth talking. I'm just saying like, "Thank you a bunch." I was like, "Who knows?" All you had to do was just say thank you and be nice instead of thank you and they'd give you more. - What was the best part of the school dinner you remember?

- I feel like I know what you're gonna say. - Because I- - I feel like- - What reminds me of this- - Are you gonna say like turkey Twizzlers or some shit? - No, no, no, no. What remind me of this was because we went to, there's like a local bar near us and it's like, I don't even know how to describe what this, like what the theme of this bar is, right? This bar that we go to that has just like the most random assortment of foods.

- It's all good though. - It's all good, it's all great. And so we ordered this, like, I can't remember what we ordered, but we ordered like some dish and what comes out is the fucking smiley potato chips. - Oh yeah. - That's right.

- They taste so good. - And I can't remember what dish we ordered, but I remember it came out and like the three of us just reverted back to being like seven years old, being like, we're all just like, oh, potato chips. This is what it looks like if you didn't have it wherever you grew up. It's basically just the Funimation logo.

- The Funimation logo with eyes. - It's weird 'cause it has like a taste that is so unique. - Yeah, 'cause it's not fries. It's not fries, it's not like potatoes. It's just got such a unique taste. And I'm sure anyone who didn't grow up with it would think it tastes like shit. - I could be a billionaire and I'll be like, "Charles,

- Heat up the smiley faces, won't you? Bring in the smiley faces. - Ever since I saw those at that restaurant, I've been trying to find them. - Dude, they're so good. - But like, I can't find them anywhere because they don't sell them in like supermarkets. - You gotta ask them, what's your sauce? - Yeah, I'm like, wait, what's your, where did you source these? - It's such a bizarre- - 'Cause I like, because it's so bizarre, 'cause like the restaurant, I wouldn't call it posh, but it's like, it's like a,

- The decor is extremely nice. I'd say almost fancy. - Very homely, yeah. - Yeah, it's very nice. - Bouquets everywhere, fresh bouquets. - So I just laughed, right? 'Cause they bring out this dish and they were just probably like, "This is imported potato from Britain. "Enjoy, lads." And I'm just thinking here, this is just school dinner chips right here, man. - I'm not complaining. - This is 10 cents a piece already.

- This was like currency in elementary school. - But yeah, those were the one things I remember like that was universal when every school dinner we had in the UK, every kid remembers the Smiley Chips. - Dead ass in primary school, it was like currency. Like you would like trade other food items with people for Smiley Chips.

phased out now because school dinners from what I've heard in the UK are a lot more healthy than they used to be. And that's because, do you know Jamie Oliver? - Yeah. - Yeah, so I think like back- - That was on a crusade. - Yeah. - Oh really? - For like healthy school dinners and apparently it works. And I'm jealous because I seen some of the school dinners that the kids get nowadays and man, they be eating good. They be eating, they getting like a fucking three course meal with like roast chicken and all that shit. - Oh, what the fuck?

- Dude, the fanciest thing I had in my cafeteria was a chicken tender roll. - Yeah, chicken nuggets for me. - Which is literally a bun with two chicken tenders in it. - Four dollars. - Did you ever bring in your own lunch? - Yeah, I always did. - Packed lunch? - Yeah, I used to for a while. I can't remember why I had, 'cause I had school lunches and I had packed lunch for some time. I can't remember why I didn't. But I remember I used to trade. Do you ever trade stuff with the other kids? - Yeah. - 'Cause your mom would put stuff in your box and you're like, "Well, I'm not that I don't like this, "but that guy likes this thing and I wanna trade."

- I always do. - I used to trade like Kit Kat for cheese strings. I like cheese string. - Oh, cheese string. I remember cheese string. - I love this, I'm the one that you like. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Because I'm not being funny. Obviously I love Kit Kat, but frankly, eating a cheese string as a kid is probably one of the most enjoyable things. - Oh yeah, of course. - Still to this day, I still really enjoy the process of eating a cheese string.

I think it's very satisfying. And I traded, always I traded my like Kit Kat for this kid's cheese string. And then when my mom- - Why don't you just ask your mom to get cheese strings? - Well, because I think actually that, this is gonna be big. I think actually that the cheese strings are actually more expensive. - Oh really? - Than the Kit Kats in the packs. The Kit Kats are really cheap in the cheese strings. - That makes sense, yeah. - 'Cause these were like the branded cheese strings as well. - Yeah, yeah. - The cheese strings. - Right, right, right. - When I told my mom, I felt like, I like never saw her like weirdly upset about something.

I was like, man, why are you upset about me trading cheese strings? You could have told me.

"What are you telling me?" And I'm like, "I don't think it's a big deal. "I'm out here hustling, mom. "It's fine, I got it, it's fine." - It's just like, what, you think we can't afford cheese strings in town? - "What are you telling me is dollar cheese string?" I'm like, "I like the hustle, it's fine, okay? "I like trading, I like it." - "I'm a businessman, mom." - "I read out of the deal. "Come on, let me be." I liked it, it was fun. It was fun scouting out what everyone else had. He'd be like, "Trey."

- Trade offer? - Trade offer. - Literally, I would go up to the kids and be like, "Trade offer." - I receive cheese strips. You receive Kit Kat. - I don't know, as a kid for some reason, I didn't have any qualms about going up to a kid. I'd be like, "I like that. We should trade. What do you think?" - Oh yeah, of course. - I feel the only time you can do that and it's not weird is when you're a kid. - And then sometimes kids will be like, I feel like they wanted the trade, but they were skeptical as to why I wanted the trade. They're like, "What's wrong with it? What did you do to the Kit Kat?"

- I don't know, Connor, you got a reputation for hustling. I don't know. - I'll tell you the kids I was always jealous of were the kids that had the Dairy Lunchables. 'Cause that looked so fun. 'Cause Dairy Lunchables is basically like Build-A-Bet, but for lunch. - You've had a Lunchable. - I've had a Lunchable, but...

- It's the pack that comes with like the biscuit, the cheese and the ham. - Oh yes, yes, yes. - And you build up your own like little sandwich. - Yeah, yeah. - I don't know why, as a kid that just seemed so fun. - It is. - But it was like expensive as fuck for like a kid. Like those kids were eating good. - That thing had like negative nutrition. I'm pretty sure it actively took it out of your body. Also, you know Lunchables? I think, I don't know if it's the same brand. It was Dairy Lea. Did you like the Dairy Dunkers? Did you like those?

- Oh, what were they again? - Oh, is that like the chocolate sauce ones? - They did have chocolate sauce, right? - Yeah. - Oh, the cheese sauce ones. - Those cheese sauce ones, which I really fucking love.

- I think originally they were chocolate where it was like a biscuit bread kind of thing. - It's like a biscuit, like hot biscuit bread sticks and then the other half is like chocolate. - Yeah, we had those. - And then they had like a cheese version and then they had this one that like- - I've never heard of the cheese version. - Yeah, it was really popular in the UK. I love, fucking love those things as a kid. I fucking put those away. And then I was eating them up until like age like 21.

because they had like a version where like, it was like some herb stick or something and I really fucking loved it. And I was legit eating it in 2021 and they changed the recipe and I was like, you've lost a long time. It actually tasted like shit. I'm like, I don't know what happened. I wanted the email HQ being like, how fucking dare you. - Did you change the flavor? Did you change the recipe? - Tell me you changed the flavor. Tell me my taste buds haven't changed. This tastes like shit. I'm not crazy.

- Have you guys ever had like a food products like later in life that you just like couldn't believe that you'd waited this long in life before you had this one food products? 'Cause I'll tell you what. - I was gonna say, you must have a very specific. - Yeah, you must have a specific one. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, 'cause thinking about it. - Do you have this super specific situation? - Do you have this super specific situation? - Because. - Because, I'll tell you mine actually, because I,

I didn't try Nutella for the first time until I was 24. - How did you avoid Nutella for so long? - I don't, okay because- - Nutella's like everywhere. - Yeah, 'cause as a kid, I wasn't allowed Nutella, right? - Yeah, my parents wouldn't let it in the house. - Yeah, yeah, 'cause it's basically just fucking chocolate.

It's just basically chocolate. - It's actually worse for you than chocolate. - It's understandable, yeah. - So I just went my entire life without trying Nutella. I don't know how, but like how has Nutella been branded as just like this thing you can spread on toast and people eat for breakfast, right? And that feels like a cheat code to me, you know? 'Cause I remember trying it for the first time and I'm just like, this is the most amazing snack

of I've ever tried in my life. It's just like the fucking gates of Babylon opened. I'm just like, oh my God, I have discovered God. - It literally goes on like everything. - Yeah, I know. - I open the jar and it just starts to glow. - My favorite thing is like this, like, oh God, I can't remember what a YouTube video is called. Again, I forget this all. But there's literally a video where they were like,

It was about this whole, the deception of Nutella being a breakfast product. And there was this part in it where they go around to parents who are feeding their kids Nutella and they're like, "Do you know how much sugar is in Nutella?" They're like, "No." And they tell them, they're like, "There's a lot of sugar, like a lot." They're like, "Oh my God, I had no idea."

And they're like, they look like so dumbfounded. Like, what are you serious? The chocolate spread, the pure 100% chocolate flavor that I'm spreading on a piece of bread twice is bad for my son? You're kidding. It's just like, I'm sitting here. - Surprise Pikachu face. - It's literally, they're like, oh my God, I've been feeding my kid chocolate this whole time. It's like, what did you think it was?

- No one thought it wasn't chocolate. We all know that Nutella is chocolate just 'cause it's like kind of liquidy, like very viscous. You think it just gets a pass? - Yeah, why is it that Nutella is a pass and yeah, Cocoa Puffs is like no, no, no, no, no. - Because of branding, Joey. Branding is powerful.

- How did they get away with this for so long? I don't know. Nutella fucking slaps, but I knew as soon as I tasted it, it's fucking unhealthy as shit. - Oh yeah. - But it tastes amazing. - Literally anyone who knows what sugar tastes like could be like, I think this is,

- It's pretty bad. - It's pretty bad. - It's pretty bad for you, I think actually. - Well, 'cause my parents had only let me have it on holidays. - Oh really? - That's how like taboo it was. It was like, this is a special occasion. - No, I think my parents let me have Nutella like pretty much every morning if I wanted it. But then I very quickly was like, this is too much. Like this is too much sugar. Even for like my eight year old body, I know this is too much sugar every morning. - I'm just like, now I just think kids,

you're not allowed to have ice cream for breakfast, but Nutella, that's okay. I'm just like, to me, they're on the same fucking level. - You should put Nutella on ice cream. - That sounds amazing. - That shit slaps. - Nutella flavored gelato. - Nutella on some like fucking vanilla ice cream. That shit slaps. - I mean, it's just a dessert, right? - It is. It's just chocolate. It's literally just chocolate.

- It's just a bit of a nutty chocolate, right? - It's ridiculous. You know what's another thing I fucking grew up? I think I just like grew out of like all like viscous breakfast spreads. - Viscous breakfast spreads? - Ah yes. What's your favorite viscous breakfast spread?

- What's your favorite viscous breakfast? No one has ever described it like that. - You could have said breakfast spread. You didn't have to put the word viscous in there. - I'm pretty sure that's the first time in the history of man that those three words have been put in the same sentence together. - This is like alien, alien.

- Alien, to the best of your knowledge, describe what this spread is. - I do love this viscous breakfast spread, human. - What's wrong with you? - No, no, no, no, okay, okay. I specifically use the word viscous because like jam. - I could feel someone doing the fucking lawnmower, dum, dum, in his fucking head trying to form that center. - No, because, okay, I use the word viscous because like jam, for instance, right? - I knew you were gonna talk about peanut butter and jelly. - No, no, no, that too. But like jam, for instance, right? That's not viscous.

You know what I mean? - Depends, you can make it. - It doesn't stick to the roof of your mouth like Nutella does, right? - I love a good fucking jam. - But the thing is, it's like, not only did I like grow out of Nutella, but also like peanut butter. I used to fucking love peanut butter. - I don't know a single person in the UK who ate peanut butter as a child. - Right, but like- - No, no, I didn't eat peanut butter either. - Really? - Yeah. - 'Cause I ate it as a child, but then after a while I was like,

I don't think I like this. Just the fact that every time I take a bite and it just feels like I just swallowed a mouthful of glue. It's just like, honestly, it's viscous, the viscous. It's the viscosity of peanut butter that I don't like. - I think nine out of 10 people I know who have peanut butter is just for catching mice. That's why I had it. I only bought it 'cause apparently mice fucking love it. - Well, yeah, I don't blame them. - I mean, I'm licking the floor, so I mean.

- It caught me. - I got down, got my tongue stuck in there. - I'm just ready for the Drake meme. Like peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I sleep. Like viscous breakfast bread, real shit. No, yeah, I remember like, 'cause I hadn't tried peanut, that was another food item that I didn't try until later in life was peanut butter. - I've never had just peanut butter on like a sandwich or something. - Yeah, yeah, and I remember trying it for the first time and I was,

- I was very underwhelmed by it. It was like the most five out of 10 food item I've ever tasted in my life. - What about its viscosity? - Doesn't that shit just stick to your mouth? - Okay, which kind of spreads did you have? Did you have the chunky spread or did you have the smooth spread? - I mean, I went either or. - I've never had a spread of peanut butter.

- I've never had a spread of peanut butter. - You've never had a spread of peanut butter? - I've only ever had Reese's cupcakes, which I wasn't there for. - I also hate the viscosity of those. - Well, I remember the first time I- - We just wanna say viscosity. - I love that word. - I very much had like the kombucha tea meme moment when I first tried the Reese's cupcakes. And I was like, I had it and I was like, oh. - I think the one thing I don't like about Reese's cups is that again, it's the peanut butter,

just overpowers everything. And it's like a certain- - Is that the point? I don't know if that's the point. - I don't know if that's the point either. - There's like something about the peanut butter that I just don't like peanut butter. - Foreigners trying to figure out American food. What is going on here? - I think I just realized like right now, I just think I don't like peanut butter. - Okay, Americans, is it normal to feel like violently uncomfortable after eating more than two of those cups? Is that normal? Maylene, is that normal? Does your stomach feel really uncomfortable? - How many Reese's cups can you eat? - You can eat like a bunch.

- I think you start to feel like real uncomfortable, right? Why not? There was no pack. There was, they came in a nice pack of three. So I assumed I eat all three. Oh, you don't fuck. That is the biggest lie America's ever told. You share. - You share. - Share bags my ass. Why would they? Why does my hand fit so perfectly in it then? - That's like saying, oh, you can break off a Kit Kat and share it with another person. No one fucking does that shit.

- Just open it and eat it. - Especially now, I don't want someone with their fucking sweaty hands snapping a Kit Kat. The whole palm reaching over the whole Kit Kat to snap it. That's what you have to do. I don't trust a person who tries to do it like that. That's weird. You wanna cling to it. - Yeah, you want that. - But then I also don't want your whole palm touching it. That's a little too much palm. So I don't, frankly, we'll just buy our own Kit Kats. - Just eat the fucking Kit Kat. - Or honestly, in the packet, rip it in the packet. 'Cause you can do that if you want. - Oh yeah, you can.

- That's too big brain. - But sometimes you forget, you've opened it up and you're like, fuck, I can't wrap it back up. - Grab the packaging just to see. - You gotta do like, have you ever seen the Kit Kat adverts where you got like the foil wrapping and then you just like split it in the middle? - What, with like a knife? - No, no, no, with your finger. You're like, it's just splits perfectly. - Is your fingernail long enough for that? - No, it is. Have you like, okay. - Have you done that? - I've never done that.

- Did that advert stop getting played or something? - I've never split. - I've never seen that. - Oh my God. I gotta fucking show you after the- - I've never split a Kit Kat. - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. - No, I have not. - How do you eat Kit Kats? - Just fucking take it out of the package and eat it. - Okay, I have done that.

- I don't believe that you've never split. - No, because the Kit Kats I always used to get were like the kind of mini packets of Kit Kats. So it was like, it would be in a bag and there'd be lots of little bags. - You tell me you've never had a four- - You've never had a single Kit Kat? - You've never had like a four bar Kit Kat? - Yeah, and I just eat it. - No, you fuck off. No, you didn't. - Joey, Joey. - You must be lying. - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. - You gotta be lying. - Shut the fuck up. Do you just fucking bite that shit without splitting it? - Yeah. - No.

- No, Joey, no. I am true evil. - I don't believe that you've never cracked a Kit Kat bar. - I don't do it on the fucking regs though.

- What do you mean a Kit Kat? Who the fuck's eating Kit Kat often? - No, but like every time I have a Kit Kat, it's usually in like two Kit Kats together, right? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Max is like four in a row. - Yeah, and you split it and eat it. - No. - I literally just grab and just do this. - Don't, no Joey, no. - 'Cause like the crumbs get everywhere and shit.

- No, it's such a mess. Like crumbs go everywhere. The wafer falls. The structural integrity has been compromised, frankly. - It doesn't matter 'cause two seconds later, it's all going in your mouth. - Pretty sure like society would crumble if everyone did that, Joey. Jesus Christ. - This is why we ran out of toilet paper. People like this.

and wipe off the Kit Kat crumbs. - Is this an Australian thing that I just don't get? - No, I know this is just a me thing. - Well, I know whatever shamed you about this in your life. There's no way you went through school eating Kit Kats like that and not got booed. - I never ate Kit Kats in school. Kit Kats were a me thing in my room. - What's wrong with you, Jared? - It's a fucking chocolate bar. Like who cares?

- Does it say on the packaging, must crack one at a time in order to eat successfully? No, it doesn't. - It's like only drinking beer if you're like shot dying.

- Yeah, okay, as a one-off, I get it. But like that shouldn't be your primary go-to method of drinking a beer, Ken, you know? Like stabbing a hole in the bottom and fucking drinking. That shouldn't be your like go-to method. You know what I mean? It's like that. - It's nothing like that. - It is like that. - It is like that. - It is like that. - Oh my God. - You're literally making it like harder to eat. - I'm not, I'm making it easy 'cause I'm saving my fucking palms from getting all chocolatey by doing this. - I mean, oh.

- I just like open it up halfway and then grab it by the packaging and then just fucking do this. - There's a reason there are crevices in the Kit Kat Joey. There are reasons for it. It's literally designed into the fucking food product. It's designed to be eaten a certain way Joey. - Look sometimes I wanna break the rule. - All right. Fuck society. - Do you ever just like wake up and remember that like Toblerone like took out like 50% of the fucking chocolate?

- I just can't believe they did that. - Do you know Toblerone? - Yeah. - Have you seen the modern ones?

- You know how the gaps used to be very, I would argue perfect. You know, when the one went up the next. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - It's not like that now. - And you can easily just do that, right? - Yeah, it's not like that. - Yeah, like with Kit Kats. - No, no. Toblerones are fucking massive. They're like this big. I'm not gonna fucking. - Okay, I have done that. I have done that. I bought too many at the airport. I had to start just getting a little wild with it.

- It's just fucking deep throat. - Have you not seen what they look like? - Toblerone deep throat challenge. - Mr. Beast, who can deep throat the most Toblerone to $10,000?

- Yeah, so I think the, 'cause I was out of the UK by this point, right? But so Toblerone, you know what the Toblerone looks like. It looks like this chat, not chat fucking audience. I've been watching too much Twitch. But so I think one year they just decided to make less Toblerones or like they made the gaps a little bigger. - So this is the original Toblerone. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - That's what I'm used to. - You're gonna fucking cry. This is it now.

- Yeah, so that can't be real. That cannot be real. - That's real. - Yeah, that is real. That is real. - Are you shitting me? - No, that's what it is. - Why are the Toblerone social distancing? - I don't know. - It's like we're too close. Give me some room. - Sometimes I just wake up at night and I just remember they did that. They got away with it. And they're still expensive. - Did they get away with it? I don't know. I'm pretty sure like they- - I haven't heard of recent memory of people buying Toblerone.

- I'd like to think that like, even like, you know, like this, that this like plummeted their stock, but I don't think it did. - I'm pretty sure people rioted because of this. That's like the impression I got. - I mean, if I had known about it back in the day, I would have rioted. - 'Cause I remember it was like, it was just when I moved out of the UK, 'cause I can't remember if I was living, when did they do this? Was this when you were living in the UK?

- Yeah, it was when I was living in the UK. - So I must've just moved to Thailand or something. And I remember moving to Thailand and one day I wake up and my entire fucking feed is just people complaining about the Toblerone. - It's like they didn't even try and hide how much chocolate they were taking away. Like just fill it with some shit, make it less tasty.

Like don't ruin the, 'cause one of the best things about a Toblerone is that you get so goddamn much chocolate. You get a fuck ton. Like arguably one piece of Toblerone is too much. - That shit lost you. - I think actually like eating a single piece of like the triangle is actually uncomfortable. It's almost too much chocolate. - It is too much chocolate. - But that's always the best part 'cause it's good shit too. It tastes great. - It's the perfect amount where you're like,

I don't even wanna go for another one. I'll save it for the next day. - Yeah, I also learned as well, 'cause I used to always snap it like away. - Yeah. - Yeah, did you do that as well? - Yeah, yeah, I did that. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - But then the way to actually do it is to push it inward and it snaps easy. - Oh, like that? - Yeah, you snap it in and it just breaks off.

- But now you'll never get to experience it. The design is fundamentally changed. - How are you supposed to snap the new ones now? - I don't know. - With a fucking knife. - Smack it against the concrete or something. I don't know. - Cut it with a knife. - You don't need to snap it. It will probably just like, it's so long that it'll probably just break under this like- - Yeah, honestly, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Oh my God. Why do they do this? Why do they mask my boy like that? - I couldn't believe they did it. I'm still like, I wake up in a cold sweat thinking about that. - How have I only just found out about this?

- I'll tell you what- - I don't know if it's the UK only or not, but- - I'll tell you what I think is an underrated snack, chocolate snack. Terry's chocolate orange. I fucking love Terry's chocolate orange. Do you have Terry's chocolate orange? - I don't, but I've heard of it. - They have it in America. - Do they have it in America? - Yeah, they have it in America. - Yeah, so it's basically just a chocolate orange, but the fucking best part of it is that it's literally an orange that you have to like smack and you eat in little chunks. - It's in the shape of an average sized orange.

- I don't know what it is. - Solid chocolate. - Yeah, it's just a bowl of solid chocolate that you eat like an orange, right? And I don't know what it is. Like they have like the Terry's chocolate orange bars and I don't know what it is about playing the mini game of like fucking smacking the chocolate and pinning yourself. It just tastes so much better and so much more satisfying. - It's 'cause you're working for it. - I love just smacking it against my concrete wall at my home. Just fucking, just fucking.

- Who wants a piece? Who wants a piece of Terry's chocolate orange? And it was always really cheap as well. It'd always go on offer for like a pound. So you got like a way too much chocolate for really cheap somehow. It was, yeah, I loved that. - Wait, does it have like actual orange in it or?

- No, it's like orange flavor. - It's like a orange chocolate flavor. - Right, right. - Really nice though. I really like it. I don't really like orange flavor. - 'Cause I think my aunt, I think the only reason why I know about chocolate orange is 'cause like my aunt like used to hand make like chocolate orange, but like actually get like slices of orange and like coat it in chocolate and then like-

Actually, I've just figured out what fucking Australians get patriotic about for some reason. Tim Tams. - Hell yeah. - Tim Tams. - Hell yeah. - Mid as fuck Australians. - Fuck you. - I think the bourbon biscuits are better in this show. - I don't know. - Every Australian has actually like bigged up Tim Tams to like extreme levels. - It's the only like good snack we have. - Debatable, debatable.

I mean, it just goes to show the quality of the rest of our snacks. - I don't know, man. Like, I mean, it's good. Don't get me wrong, but like Tim Tams or bar Toblerone, I'll take the Toblerone. - Yeah. - To be honest. Like there are better snacks out there, but Tim Tams is just so readily available in Australia.

anywhere you go. That it's just like, it's comfort food basically. - Yeah. I mean, I feel like, I remember I tried it for the first time and I feel like we have like some very similar products. - Yeah, we have really similar stuff in the UK. - Isn't like penguins like kind of similar as well? - A little bit, yeah. - Penguins are great though. - Yeah, penguins are great. - Yeah. What else do we have in the UK? Oh, Jaffa Cakes. - Oh, Jaffa Cakes, yeah. - What do you think about Jaffa Cakes? - Pretty shit.

- Okay, good, good, good. - What are jelly cakes again? That sounds familiar. - Sponge cake with like orange kind of like jelly goo. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, we have those in Australia too. - Yeah. - It's pretty gross. - They're all right. - They have horrible shelf life. Those things go bad really fast. - Really? - Yeah.

- The only time I ever ate them was at my grandma's place. - The packet is big enough where you kind of have to do it in one sitting. 'Cause again, if you open the bag, they go bad in one day. So if you buy them for yourself, you gotta commit to eating like 12. - It's definitely like a home party snack.

whenever you go to any gathering or any kind of like eat like a camping trip or something, everyone always brings out the Jaffa cakes. And I never understood why, because it's the Midas snack in England, in my opinion. And for some reason people think I want a piece of that. - You're British, right? You want it? - I like the taste of it. I think it's nice. But after I have two, I'm like, you know what? I'm good for the next five years. I don't want another piece. I'm fine. Like I enjoy it though. - That's how I feel about Kinder eggs.

- I fucking love Kinder eggs. - Kinder eggs are great. - But I have like two and I'm like, this is so much sugar. - Kinder Bueno bars are amazing. - Kinder what? - Kinder Bueno. - Oh, those are fucking great. - Those are great. - Oh dude, bars filled with the Kinder.

- It's just Kinder, it's really fucking good. - Well, like Kinder eggs in a bowl. - Hazelnut as well. - Yeah, the hazelnut ones are amazing. - I'll bring you some when I go home. - Do you have Aero in Australia? - No. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, we do. - We do? - Yeah, yeah, they're really like fluffy chocolate, not fluffy, but like they're really like bubbly chocolate. - Bubbly chocolate. - Yeah, yeah, we have those, yeah. - They're pretty good. - Yeah, I don't know, like I really, really fucking like Aero, right? But then I just realized they're like selling me like air.

- It's the equivalent of buying a pack of chips and 60% of it is air. - Some of them want like the light flavor. - Yeah, I do like the light flavor, right? But it costs the same amount as every other chocolate bar. - Would you like some chocolate air? - You know, sometimes when you buy the expensive chocolate, like Lindt or Lindor, whatever the fuck they are. - Lind. - Lind, whatever it is. - The Swiss chocolate. - Yeah. - You know, sometimes you eat one and you're like, ah, it's good.

- It's good, but do I really want like 10? Like it's not like a chocolate you eat 10 of. - Yeah, that's what I've noticed about expensive chocolate. It's like you eat one and you feel like you've just ate 10 chocolate bars in this one fucking chocolate. - Yeah, and then you're like, great, I paid 50 bucks for these 10 chocolates. - Time to give them away, I guess. - Yeah, it's like fuck, what do I do now? I don't really wanna eat these anymore. That's why I like shitty chocolate. It's like you could eat so much of it.

- It's so good. Like you never get bored of it. Like dairy milk, I never get bored of that shit. - I just can't even like really eat a lot of chocolate anymore. - No, me neither. But Big Macs, yeah, hell yeah I can. - Oh dude, I can smash a Big Mac back every day if I want to. McFlurry, fuck yeah. - Yeah, I don't know. Ice cream is, I think my love has grown for ice cream. - Really? - As I get older.

but my love for chocolate has gone down. I don't know why. - I think my love for chocolate and ice cream- - Ice cream is pretty MVP though. - Yeah, I think my love for chocolate and ice cream has just kind of gone down recently. I don't know, my love for sweet things has definitely gone down. - Yeah, you're already sweet enough, Joey. - I definitely do like my savory and saltier stuff.

- Yeah, 'cause for me, like I think, you know, a lot of people say you have a second stomach for dessert. I don't have a second stomach for dessert. - That's bullshit. - I'm just like, if I have space in my stomach for more food, then I'm gonna eat more food. - Yeah, right? - I mean, if there was a tiramisu available, I will always make room for a tiramisu. - Okay, to be fair, if a tiramisu comes out, I'm smashing that shit back. That has to be my favorite cake. What's your favorite cake?

I don't know. - This is like asking an alien, name your favorite celebrity. - I guess- - The human on the TV is my favorite. - I guess if not like the default chocolate cake, then probably Red Velvet. I fucking love Red Velvet. - Red Velvet is good cake. - Red Velvet is probably like the only other cake that I like to eat other than chocolate. - Red Velvet is very good. - Yeah. I can't eat a chocolate cake anymore. It's just way too heavy now.

- Yeah, it depends. Like I never eat a chocolate cake. - Getting old boys. - No, no, I can never eat a chocolate cake after a meal. Sometimes I just get a random craving for a chocolate cake. Like for me, like I don't really eat as much chocolate anymore, but sometimes I just get this random craving for sweets. And you know when you're fucking, you know when you're hungry and you feel like you could eat everything

everything, right? - Yeah. - And so when I get this chocolate craving, I buy like fucking, I fucking like buy 10 different types of chocolate bars, chocolate ice cream, chocolate cake. I'm just like, I'm fucking craving this. I'm hungry enough to eat everything. I have one bite of the chocolate cake and I'm just like, okay, I'm done now. Fuck, I've made a massive mistake because I just have a table full of just chocolate in front of me that I know I don't wanna eat anymore.

But yeah, I just, I don't really, I'm not really, I'm not a dessert guy. Are you a dessert guy? - I mean, I prefer the main, but sometimes some places have like really good desserts and it makes you feel like, okay, hold up. Maybe dessert's got a point. - Have you ever been to like cake buffets?

- Is that way wrong? That's a thing. - What is that? - Oh, okay. - Where? Where is this? - In Japan, fucking everywhere. - What? Where? - Yeah, there's one really good one I went to in Harajuku where it's like, it's literally like a sushi train of cakes, of like tiny little cakes. - How many can you have before you start becoming sick? - I had like four and then I was done. But like some of my female friends can have like, you know, 10, 15 of these cakes. - Jesus Christ.

I'm just like, man, you guys are built different. - Real food? Nah, sweet shit, please. - Sweet shit. - I like cupcakes. Cupcakes are nice. Something about a muffin or a cupcake. - I don't think I've had a cupcake in like five years. - Just muffin. I just like muffins. Muffins are pretty easy. - Muffins. - Pretty good size. - What is it about muffins that are very British? - I don't know. - I think it's very American, I'd say. - Yeah, I think it's more American than it is British. - When I think muffin, I think British.

- I don't know why. - Maybe English muffin. Is that what you're thinking? - Could be. - Yeah. - Could be. - 'Cause I feel like definitely with dessert, dessert culture is way stronger in Asia than I feel when I was like living in England. Because I didn't like, until I moved to Thailand, until I went to Thailand, I didn't know the concept of just like a dessert bar where it's just like a restaurant that just specifically

just serves desserts. That's just not a thing in England. - There's some. - Like what? - Was it like Casper's or whatever it's called? - The fuck is Casper's? - It's a big chain, I saw everywhere. It was like a dessert thing, but it was like really tacky. I didn't really like the look of it. - Yeah, like the only kind of dessert oriented places that I find in England now are just like, they are marketed as like Asian like dessert places, right? And that only started,

cropping up in more recent times. - I'm also not a fan of like how fucking bright and loud dessert places are. I feel like I'm, you know what I mean? - Almost exclusively white as fuck. - They're always like really pastel colors or bright colors. And I just feel like, fuck, I mean- - You get blinded when you walk into one. - I'm like, dude, I just want to just get a dessert and not be visually attacked by all these fucking colors.

- I feel like I'm in the wrong place when I go into that. 'Cause I feel like I'm too British for this. I'm too sad. I can't be in here. - I just hate the fact that like all of the walls are just white as fuck and they blast the light on. And I'm like, oh God, it's 2:00 PM. It's 2:00 PM, why are the lights on in here? - When you use light mode. - It's like, ah!

- It depends on the place. I mean, you get different types of lighting and of walls, whatever the fuck, I don't know. - Are you one of those people who like care about the mood of a restaurant? Like the lighting and stuff like that? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, I do. - Definitely helps with,

- Get a feel for what the owner wanted, right? - Yeah. I didn't start to care about it until kind of like, I would say like my mid twenties. - I mean, yeah, they gotta like build the atmosphere before you even sit down. - Yeah. - Like they gotta like get you like understanding the vibe,

- Yeah, because before when I was like a fucking uni student or something, it's not just restaurants. I didn't care about the bar vibe. You know what I mean? Like to me, if it's, does it serve food? Is it cheap? Can I eat it? - Yeah, true. - That's all I cared about, right? But like,

as I grew older, I'm just like, damn. - Life's too short to just go to shit places. - The vibe from the place can really affect if I'm enjoying my meal or drink as much as usual. And I don't know if just like something switched into my brain or something. - But there's a part of me that's like, I feel if a restaurant has like really nice mood or like a mood that is fitting and is comforting, then it almost sometimes blinds you to the fact that the food might not be as good as you think it is.

- I mean, there's plenty of times where it sets up like high expectations and the food comes out and it's- - And just like eat. - It's so disappointing. - Yeah, yeah.

'Cause it's especially in Japan, right? Because I feel like, especially in Japan, every place has a unique vibe. Every restaurant you go to looks amazing. It has like a unique selling point, but that isn't always, that doesn't always equate to good food. Or it doesn't always equate to amazing food. - Weirdly enough, it's like kind of the opposite in Japan where like the shittier the place looks, usually the better the food is.

Especially when it comes to like ramen or like family owned restaurants and stuff like that. - If the sign is falling apart in the ramen place, it's probably pretty good. - 'Cause I wouldn't give a fuck about how it looks, just eat the damn food. - Because that's how I feel about Thai food, right? Because I very rarely eat in like a Thai restaurant here. And that's because for me,

- Growing up in, not growing up, but like whenever I go to Thailand, some of the best food would be street food, right? So that to me was like the best kind of comfort food that I would find. And it's to me, I'm like not, it's only when I'm like really, really missing Thai food and really craving it that I actually go out and go to a restaurant. But most of the times I cook it myself because to me it's like comfort food. There's something comforting about it. And it's like,

- You know, it's like the same with Japan where you go to a ramen shop. If it looks like a high class prestigious ramen shop, probably doesn't taste as good as like the rundown family made ramen. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. - Yeah, and yeah, I guess. - Wrap it up there. - I guess we'll just wrap it up there. - Jump right into the ending. - Yeah. - Jump right into these patrons. - Oh my God. - Oh my God. - Wonderful patrons. - Look at all of them. - Goodness gracious. - I bet they eat their Kit Kats correctly. - Yeah, I bet they do.

- I bet they don't use viscous spreadable breakfast saliva. - I think you're talking about viscous breakfast spreads. Hashtag viscous breakfast. - It's like a tongue twister. But hey, if you'd like to support the show, then make sure to go to patreon.com/trashtaste. Also follow us on Twitter, meme us on the subreddit. And if you hate our face, listen to us on Spotify.

- And yeah, that's pretty much it. Hope you enjoyed yet more hot takes for food this episode. We've got like a bunch today. - Hot taste and tangents, the episode. - And I guess we'll see you all next time.