We Made Every 3x3 EVER | Trash Taste #250
02:03:53 Share

This podcast is brought to you by Aura. Imagine waking up to find your bank account drained, bills for loans you never took out, a warrant for your arrest, all because someone committed a crime in your name. It sounds like a nightmare, but for millions of people each year, it's reality. And here's the scariest part. By the time companies tell you your data was stolen, it's already been nearly a year. 277 days.

That's how long, on average, hackers have to use your social security number, open accounts, take out loans, and destroy your credit before you even know you've been exposed. By the time you get that breach notification email, the damage is done. Your identity stolen, your financial future at risk, and the company that lost your data, they'll just apologize and move on. Hackers aren't waiting. Why are you?

This can all sound really scary, which is why I'm so glad we're partnering with Aura. Hackers don't wait, so why should you? Aura monitors the dark web 24-7 for your phone number, email, and social security number. Because the moment they show up for sale, criminals are ready to use them. If Aura detects your info, you'll get an instant alert, so you can act before the damage is done.

What if your identity is already stolen? Criminals can take out loans, max out credit cards, and vanish. That's why Aura provides up to $5 million in identity theft insurance and a U.S.-based fraud resolution team that works around the clock to shut down fraud fast and get your life back on track.

Your personal data is a goldmine for hackers and Aura helps lock it down. With a VPN for private browsing, Data Broker opt out to stop companies from selling your info and a password manager to help secure your accounts. Aura gives you the tools to fight back.

For a limited time, Aura is offering our listeners a 14-day trial plus a check of your data to see if your personal information has been leaked online. All for free when you visit Aura.com slash defense. That's Aura.com slash defense to sign up for a 14-day free trial and start protecting you and your loved ones.

That's A-U-R-A dot com slash defense. Certain terms apply, so be sure to check the site for details. This episode was sponsored by Shopify. Guys, if you didn't know, we use Shopify over at Trash Taste to sell our merch, and we do not know what we would do without it. Absolutely. I feel like the whole e-commerce thing, selling stuff online, like, where do you learn how to do that? Ah!

I don't know. I mean, when I first started my clothing brand too, I had no idea how to sell off my brilliant designs, but thankfully Shopify was there to help us out. Nobody does selling better than Shopify, home of the number one checkout on the planet and the not so secret secret with shop pay that boost conversions up to 50%, meaning way less carts going abandoned and way more sales going cha-ching.

So if you're into growing your business, your commerce platform, better be ready to sell wherever your customers are scrolling or strolling on the web, in your store, in their feed, and everywhere in between. Don't forget that businesses that sell more sell on Shopify. So what are you waiting for? Upgrade your business and get the same checkout that Nonsense and Trash Taste uses.

Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at shopify.com slash trash, all lowercase. Go to shopify.com slash trash to upgrade your selling today. Shopify.com slash trash. Back to the episode. Hey, everyone. Welcome back to another episode of the Trash Taste Podcast. I'm your host, Joey. And I'm with the boys, as per usual, Gant and Connor. Hold on. I'm stimming, Joey. I'm stimming right now. Stop stimming with the amalgam. What the f*** are you doing with that? I'm playing.

- Yeah, right? - You disgust me with your fidgeting, you should get that checked out. - Both of you stop stimming for a second because we're going back to a Trash Taste tradition, as you guys all know, three by threes. But this time we're not doing a specific three by three. No, we are going to be making as many three by threes as possible. - Yes, so we have a bunch of prompts in Trash Box Kun right there.

And we are going to find our... We are going to make our top nine or top...

you know, it is, I guess, a top nine, isn't it? It's a top nine. It's a fancy way of saying it. It's a fancy way of saying top nine of whatever is in the box. Yeah, the hardest part is that the three of us have to come to an agreement as to what this top nine is going to be because this is a collective trash taste three by three. Yeah, it's not a personal three by three. It's a trash taste three by three. Oh, no. No, stop stimming. All right. You guys want to just get straight into it then? Let's just go straight into it. All right, here we go. That's a good one, Joe. Jesus. That was a foul.

- I got a buttload of prompts in here. Okay. - A lot of three by threes to get through. - A lot of three by threes to get through. All right, first up, the three by three fast food chains. Already, right off the bat. - This is like World War III. - This is gonna be hard. - Really, we're starting with that one? - Okay, we gotta get the ones we all agree on. - Okay, Chick-fil-A. - No. - What the ? Damn it! - I was gonna say McDonald's.

- Yeah. - Yeah. - It deserves a spot on the top. - If we're talking, yeah. If we're talking Japanese McDonald's, yes. - Worldwide, not just America. Like it's just a chain that we all like. It's affordable. - It is. - That's the job done. - Worldwide, the most consistent chain out there. - All right. - You always know what you're getting with McDonald's. Like with KFC, I feel like there is so much variance in terms of quality, in terms of which country does it best. But with McDonald's,

- It is the most consistent one worldwide. - I can do it. - Yeah.

Yeah, I think the consistency is what adds so much comfort to McDonald's. No matter where you are, I know I can get a Big Mac. And most of the time, it roughly tastes the same. That's true. I don't need it to be something game-changing or life-renewing. I just want a Big Mac, and I want it generally affordable. Yeah, all right. We'll put McDonald's in, in that case. Okay.

- That's about it. From all I think we all unanimously agree on. - It ends there. - Even Joe wasn't thrilled about it. - Yeah, I mean, 'cause I'm like, I'm thinking about it in terms of taking the average from all the McDonald's I've had all over the world and you know, Japanese McDonald's, fire. - So here's the question, right? Here's the question. Here's the real question for this three by three, which is gonna be very important. - Yes.

are we taking worldwide status as a factor? Because as soon as you pulled out that prompt, I know every American just stood up. There are a few things every American will be equally as passionate about, no matter what side of the political spectrum you're in. And fast food is one of them. - Yeah, we learned that from tour first. - Well, I think that it's globalization can be a factor that can be a plus or a negative.

Like how you mentioned KFC, not great in America. - Yes. - Great everywhere else. - I mean, McDonald's is not great in America either. - It's not great in America, but you get the fries and you can get a McChicken. You know what I mean? You can get those things. - Yeah. - Double cheeseburger. It's not great, but it's close enough. - Okay, okay. Then I'm gonna start off with a take. I'm gonna start off with a take. I don't think Subway's that bad.

- I don't think Subway is that bad. - Subway, okay. - In the context of America, holy shit. - It's the worst. - It sucks. And there are so many better brands, but worldwide,

Even in Japan, if you want a sub, if you want a good sandwich that's consistent, that is probably better than some of the fucking anemic sandwiches you get here in Japan, Subway is probably one of the best bets you can possibly have. - I don't know how it is in like the UK, but in Australia, Subway is really fucking good.

- I like it in the UK as well. - It's okay in the UK. - It's okay. - It's better than America. It's not gonna blow you away, but it does the job. - Right, right, right. - I don't know. It's hard to put it up there when we got like Jimmy John's, you know, we got- - That's why I specifically asked because we are in America, like what?

- That's why I mentioned, I was like, I think the globalization of the chain can be a plus or a negative where you can be like, okay, it's good outside, but they have some shitty ones in America. That's a plus minus effect where you're like good, bad, nothing. Whereas McDonald's, I feel like it's almost always good that it's in other countries. - Yeah, for sure.

Whereas like, I don't mind if it's a regional thing. I don't mind if they get it right. They have less to worry about because they have less chains, less restaurants to fuck up. - True, true. Okay, in that case then, in that case, if it's not just American chains, it's fast food chains. - Yeah, fast food in general. - Also, I think we can't put like five guys on here. - Why not? - It's fast casual.

- It's still got the word fast in it. - You sit down. You sit down in Five Guys. You don't take Five Guys to go. - You can take Five Guys to go. - You can take it to go. - You can, but you don't. - But I sometimes do. - Where are you taking it to, Garnt? - To my hotel room. - Yeah. - When I'm in, when I'm in- - If you have the option to take it home, then you can take it home. - I just think it doesn't, the price, it's not in the same realm.

It's too expensive. It's basically restaurants. - Yeah, but okay, then you can say the same thing about McDonald's in Switzerland. - No, no. - That shit's mad expensive. We saw it first hand. - No, I think that's price reference. I think five guys cost the same as going to a restaurant in America. - Yeah, but it's fast. - That's why it's fast casual. - Fuck's sake. - I just don't think it's fair to put five guys on this list. - Well, then what other,

- What are we gonna put on there? - Do you know what I've realized about this argument? This is an argument that only Americans care about. - I agree. - This debate, I've only heard when hanging out with other Americans. - Because we just simply don't have enough fast food chains to have like nine be a competitive list in the UK. We just don't. - Right. - I disagree. - But Americans, they have so many. - I think Greg should be on there and I'm going to- - Greg's, yeah, absolutely. - Greg's, yeah. - Joey's had it like one time and he came. - Yeah, yeah, I know. - I enjoy Greg's.

- All right, put Greggs on there. - Put Greggs on there. - Greggs is going on the list. - Yeah, yeah. Fuck the American centric fast food chains. We're putting off. - I have had most, if not like 90% of all American fast food chains. And I can tell you that Greggs, it bodies them. It's not even close. - I agree. Especially for the price as well. - Greggs lives up to the promise of what fast food was. In America, they've lost sight of this. They've lost sight of what true fast food was.

In Greggs, they even give you a fucking discount if you leave the store. They're like, get out. We'll save you 20 pence. It's pure sex. It's what a fast food chain was meant to be. You're preaching to the flyer. Don't worry. I'm right there with you. I've had it once and it was fucking great. You don't understand what you're missing out on, Americans. It's the pinnacle of fast food. And there's a reason why. British people will not do a whole lot. They won't fight a war, but they will fight.

a war over Greg's. - If Greg's is down, we will fight. - If Greg's is on the line, it would be happening. - Everyone's coming out. - People would riot. - Okay, but like, see, my argument for not putting Five Guys on is like, one, we all agree Five Guys is great, right? - Yeah.

And the other argument is I feel like we're gonna have trouble picking nine already. So why not just put Five Guys on the same space? - The reason I don't know if I would put Five Guys on here is when I think fast food, I think like, ooh, if I'm feeling a little cheeky, you know, if I just need something. - I just can't in good faith put it on the list when I know that I've paid more at restaurants for burgers. Sorry, more at Five Guys than I have at restaurant burgers. - Right, right. - I feel like it's just wrong, you know? - Five Guys is to me a,

once in a blue moon kind of vacation. Yeah, yeah, for sure. It's like 5,000 calories in the dark. Yeah, exactly. It's great. It's actually like some of my favorite burgers, the best fries. But like in terms of like comfort food, I'm like...

If I just want something cheeky, I'm not gonna go to Five Guys. - Cheeky. - Fair, fair. Okay, well then let's just like rattle off the list then and just say yes or no. - We need to decide which of the subs. Is it Zoom and John's or are we putting Subway? I'm happy to put Subway on if you guys want to. - I actually really like Subway, so I'm putting my vote into Subway. - I'm down to put Subway on. I'm down to put it on. - Can I really? I'm trying to justify this for a second. - I mean, look.

- It's great. The amount of times, I don't have Subway all that often, but like- - We're gonna get so much shit for this. - Go to Australia or the UK and have Subway. Americans, don't think of it as the American Subway. - The problem with these dumb, stupid Americans is they don't have seafood in the other country. - They don't know how to make a fucking sandwich apparently in Subway. - I like how the two chains we've chosen so far are worse in America. - Yeah, they really are. - Pretty much every chain so far is- - Worse in America. - Well, one doesn't exist in America. - Yeah.

- All right, let's rattle them off then. Just off the top of our head. KFC. - I like KFC a lot. - If you had to have one American, like only in America brand. - Only in America brand? - In and out, easy. - Fuck off. - Overrated. - Fuck off. - Overrated. - Get out of there. - Overrated. - That's the one you choose? - Yeah. - Over Chick-fil-A? - Yeah, not even close. - Oh, a million percent I'm going for Chick-fil-A. - Homophobic.

- Dude, In-N-Out is just the best burger. - No, you've been California-pilled. - And for the price, unbeatable. Look, it is fast food and for the value, especially in California, a burger that's affordable and tastes fucking amazing. - Chick-fil-A is that as well. - Chick-fil-A is expensive as fuck, Joey. - It's not that bad. - Can we compare the menu price of Chick-fil-A in California versus In-N-Out?

- Like a Chick-fil-A meal? Okay, you might have to- - Yeah, this might take a while. - You might have to type in Chick-fil-A California price. - California. - This is gonna be a long argument. - Oh my God, Jesus Christ. - But it's true though, I think you forget

'Cause we just fucking press the thing on Uber Eats and we're like, oh, we'll just do it. But like, it's like triple the price. - Mate, it's fucking great. - You think it's triple the flavor? - Dude, last- - No. - Dude, AX last year, out of the five days I was there, I had Chick-fil-A three times. - Okay, look. Just look at the prices, dude. A cheeseburger is $2.75. - Who the fuck is going to Chick-fil-A and buying a cheeseburger? - No, no, no, this is, this is, no, no, In-N-Out. I'm saying that's a good place. - Oh, In-N-Out. - The Double Double.

$4.35 base, insane. - But it's the most average burger I've ever had. - It's good. - It's so average. - It tastes good. - It's so average. - I can't believe this. - California Pilled, bro. I'm telling you. - I'm not even California Pilled. I recognize the game. I recognize the game.

This is not the game. I mean, it's an affordable meal. Look at this. Yes. But look. You want a Chick-fil-A, just a Chick-fil-A burger. Bro, you spent 50 bucks on a fucking hotel salad. I don't want to hear it. Yeah, but what I'm saying- I don't want to hear your argument about it's cheap. Look, I'm not trying to say that I don't waste money. I'm the number one money waster on this podcast, without doubt. But what I'm trying to say is you have to consider the prices when we're discussing fast food. Yeah, I'll take it.

And I will happily pay the extra price for Chick-fil-A. 100%. Thank you, Garnt. It's amazing. Thank you. I mean, if we're talking about burgers, Culver's Solos anyway with the fucking butter burger. I've never had it, so I can't. I've never had it either. Okay, okay. Look, if you both want to put Chick-fil-A on there, that's fine. I'm just saying I'm sorry, Californians. I tried.

I recognize the game. We all know it. We all know. Throw a Chick-fil-A out there. You can't help these fools. Throw it right in the middle where it belongs. Okay, Joey. Any Australian brands you want to put on there? I also like Popeyes more than Chick-fil-A.

- Nah. - Nah. - I like Popeyes, but if I had to pick, I'd definitely have Chick-fil-A any day of the week. - I mean, the great thing about America is that it has so many great fucking chicken shops and chicken places. Whereas in the UK, I feel like it's more like just your local chicken shop, you know? - Okay. - Okay. What do you guys think about Nando's? - Yes. - It's not fast food. - But it's not fast food. - Oh, I see, I see. - Tsukiya.

- Sukiya, I mean, I'm a Sukiya simp. - We gotta have one Japanese brand like fast food. - I guess, yeah, if you think about it, that is fast food. - We gotta have one fast food. Sukiya is the fastest food, but that shit's out in lightning speed and disgustingly cheap. - It is disgustingly cheap. - Like worryingly cheap for their margins. - I'm surprised you brought up Sukiya even though you're a Yoshinoya boy. - No, no, no, no, I'm not a Yoshinoya boy. I used to be a Matsuya boy until they fucking stabbed me in the back by removing my shogayaki.

And then they brought it back with thick cut pork. And I couldn't forgive them because the meat is shit quality in this. Let's just be honest. It is shit. It's the same reason no one ever goes to McDonald's like, wow, the beef quality is so good. Unless you're in Switzerland. It's bad meat. And when they made it thick cut, you could really taste how shit it was. Ah.

So when they keep it thin, you can let the fat of the meat as well as all the flavor from the ginger sauce just soak in everything. It bodies. Also Yoshinoya gets points off because I had Yoshinoya in LA and that shit was one of the worst meals I've ever had in my life. So-

- I just find that I've always fucked with the sukiya menu items that they add a lot more. - I agree. - I don't know, I just like it. - I've been a Sukiya boy from day one, so I'm more than happy to put Sukiya on the list. - I also wouldn't recommend this, but the unagi was not that terrible. - Really? - It wasn't terrible. Unagi is normally considered a pretty luxury food in Japan.

I saw it on the menu the first time it came out and I was just like, "Ooh, that's a gamble." It wasn't bad. It's kind of like ordering sushi at a Western restaurant where you're just like, "This shouldn't be on the menu and I don't trust them to do it well." Yeah, because eel is quite expensive to make and so they had their own budget version, don't know how they did it, and it was okay. It was definitely a lot worse than- Possible.

- If you didn't want to spend 50 bucks on an unagi, which is totally fair. It's very expensive. - It is expensive. - It hits the spot. If you want to just get a try unagi without committing fully to it, sorry, it's better. Go for it. It's very good. - Okay. So I'll skier then. - I think it's a good,

- A good one that should do. 'Cause we need one Japanese one on that. - Okay. - We're a multicultural. - 'Cause I was thinking like, okay, what would be a Japanese one? And I was thinking like Loteria, no. - No. - Mosburger, no. - Loteria is also Korean. - Oh yeah, true. - Also Mosburger sucks. Maybe like Sushiro, I would like.

- I like sushi roll a lot or Hamasushi. - I prefer Hamasushi. - Yeah, I like those. - Hamasushi is the best. Does that count as fast food? 'Cause I still like a sit down. - Absolutely. - But that's also a sit down place. - That's also a sit down place. - Well, sukiya you can get it, you often get it to go. So yeah, no, no, I'd say no. - Okay, okay guys. - But that's like fast casual. - Okay, shut up. - Shut the fuck up. - Shut the fuck up. - Nando's is fast casual 'cause it's fast food.

but it's often in a casual dining setting. - Yeah, the biggest thing, the biggest thing, biggest thing about fast casual. - Whereas like, no, no, here's the problem Garnt, right? When I'm sitting down in a sushi roll, I'm not depressed. When I sit down in a Burger King, I'm fucking miserable because I have to sit down in the Burger King. - Okay, here's my subconscious line between fast food and fast casual. - Sure. - Are you sitting down when you look at the menu?

In Nando's, you don't come up and look at the menu and wait in line, even though you order at the counter, you sit down and you're like, have you been to Nando's before? And they give you a menu and then you go up and order. But with Five Guys, the menu is up on the board, up on the screen, and then you go up to the counter. So it's...

- To me, that is like the, that is the line between what I really count as like, what is fast food and what is fast casual. - It's a good argument, but she doesn't hold. - Wow.

- That's a great argument. - No, it's a great try. It's a great attempt. It just doesn't make sense. - That's a great argument. - I'm happy for you or sorry for your loss, but I'm not reading all of them. - It's an argument, but in rebuttal, no bitches. - Shut up. - Okay, next one. Big three. All right, which one are you guys going for? Pizza Hut, Papa John's, Domino's. - Domino's.

- No Papa's here? - No. - No Papa lovers here? - I don't fuck with Papa. - Papa John's just feels like- - You know why? - You have your dad's? - No, you know why? Because there's always this fucking moment when you get the Papa John's and some fucking animal, he opens the pizza and he immediately grabs that butter sauce and you're like, what are you gonna do with that? Don't fuck it, that's not edible. Don't use that. That's for cleaning sewage.

And then he rips it open, puts it in this fucking butter oil fucking monstrosity and starts slobbering on it. And I'm like, I can smell it from here. You disgust me. Put that thing down. - Papa John's is delicious, but every time I eat it, I feel like I'm committing a sin. Like it just doesn't- - It's a good sin though. - It doesn't feel good. - It's the comfort that being with your father gives you, Joey. Papa John's raised me more than my father. - They have the worst-

- The real papa was John Orr. - I fucking hate their sauce. That fucking sauce they give the herb garlic butter, it tastes vile. - I have never tried it. - Yeah, 'cause you're smart. And also I think that although Papa John's has the best bread,

- Funny enough, I think Pepper Johns is the best crust, but the sauce they use is shit. And also the toppings are just the worst. - Yeah. - No. - Yeah. - No, out of everything, I actually think Domino has the worst bread. - Yeah, the worst bread. But their sauce and toppings is crazy. - And they try to hide it with the fucking garlic sauce, but I'm like, why can you not just make the fucking bread taste better? - Oh my God, in the UK, they serve this garlic herb dip. It's the best fucking dip. It's basically just ranch with extra flavor and it's phenomenal. - Hell yeah.

- Yeah, I think Domino's. And if Joey's with me on this, I'm going Domino's too. - I'm going Domino's. - No! - Which the Americans will be pissed off with because I think it's like the least popular one in the States. - Yeah, for a reason because it's- - Yeah, it's bad in the States though. - I actually think Domino's is the worst out of all of them. Pizza Hut is like the comfort one where it's- - Pizza Hut fell off too. - Pizza Hut fell off. - I don't know, Pizza Hut has a unique smell that's,

The thing I don't fuck with about pizza when people talk about it, like, ah, but you gotta get the fucking breadsticks or whatever. I'm like, are we ordering pizza here or what? What are we doing here?

I'm not here to fuck around with bread sticks. - Yeah, exactly. - Don't fucking tell me to dip bread in marinara sauce. - You can't recommend a restaurant being like, oh yeah, by the way, the side menu is the best part. - This is what they always fucking, they always do this in America. They're always like, you gotta have the bread sticks. I'm like, I came here for- - I can make this at home. - Bitch, I came for pizza. And they're like, no, we have marinara sauce on the side. I'm like, oh, so you want pizza without the cheese? - Yeah.

- Just have the fucking pizza. - This is the humbug equivalent of burgers. - Yes, it's the worst. I can't with these people when they order this. I'm like, you're missing the point. You're stuck. You can't see the forest through the trees. - What are the pizza brands? Like, are they fast food? - This episode is sponsored by Vessi. - Boys, you should know by now, we absolutely love Vessi.

Vessi here at Trash Taste. In fact, I'm pretty sure all of us only wear Vessis. We've only worn Vessi for the last two years. As you know, Jerry famously wore Vessis to Garnt's wedding. Exactly. Bringing suit shoes. Because Vessi just works for any occasion, rain, sleet, snow or shine, any terrain, any environment, Vessi is there to protect you.

Connor, let me tell you why the Stormburst is the ultimate outdoor adventure shoe. Tell me why. Tell me. I'm listening. I'm listening. Well, because Stormbursts are perfect for hiking, camping, city exploring, or navigating rough trails. Also, they're waterproof as well, which allows for worry-free exploration in any condition. Plus, with the lightweight feel, all-day comfort, and rugged grip that can adapt to different terrains. Ooh, shoot.

Honestly speaking, I do actually wear these store-bought Vessi shoes. You came in today with the matcha. I came in today to the office with these. They're genuinely really good shoes. Yeah. I mean, if you see any picture of us taking the last four years, you will see a Vessi for a reason because we like wearing the shoes. We like them a lot. Absolutely. But-

Get them. Yeah, get them. They're great. Honestly, they're absolutely fantastic. They're all amazing shoes. So what are you waiting for? Take on every day with waterproof Vessi Stormburst sneakers. Visit Vessi.com slash Trash Taste now for 15% off your first pair at checkout and start exploring without limits. Ring, ring. What's that? Great shoes at Vessi.com? Oh my God. I'm going there right now. Back to the episode.

- In terms of global ones, there's Little Caesars. - I've not had any. - I've had Little Caesars. - I've had Little Caesars. - It's basically like the, it's whole marketing is that it's the cheapest. It's like you get like $5 pizzas.

It's all right. It does the job. I think in the UK, there's nothing else, right? It's just those two. Those two are the most globally recognized as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Definitely Pizza Hut and Domino's for sure. But I think Domino's is the biggest globally. They've expanded the best. I mean, Domino's, I will say that when I order a pizza in Japan, it is Domino's.

- Yeah, because all the other options are ass. - But all because Papa couldn't make it all the way to Japan, man. - I actually ordered pizza in Japan. - Was it good? - Only because they have the hot dog crust. - Is that the one we had on episode? - If I ever get pizza, I still get that. - Really? - I love the pizza crust. - No, you're just a fucking slut for hot dogs.

- Yeah, I know you. - Hot dogs are the best food. - Actually, you know what? I'm gonna change my mind. Pizza has the best. If I am forced to eat crust, pizza has the most- - The stuffed crusts are very good. - Has the most variety in terms of like crust.

- I also recognize that I am a toddler when I eat stuffed crust. I feel like a toddler. If someone had to stuff my crust, oh, you have to have a little stuff in your crotch. - The best crust out of all of these things are is the cheesy bites. The fucking pizza hot cheesy bites where the crust isn't even a crust. - That's giga toddler man.

- Nah, that's the best man. - That is the best. - I mean, it's basically this hot dog one. It doesn't look like this by the way, but it's fine. - Yeah, cheesy bites pizza crust. This crust is goaded man. This is the only time where I'm like, okay,

- I like my crust actually. - Jesus Christ. - Yeah, because you basically- - It's too much. - Jesus Christ. - No, no. This is just stuffed crust, but the superior version. - Oh my God, Garnt, I'm getting constipated just looking at this. - Oh no, no way. Cheesy Bites are fucking amazing, man. I will die on this hill. One of the best things Pizza Hut has done. - Okay, cool. So Domino's? - Yeah, Domino's. - Okay, cool. - Domino's doesn't have- - Okay, look, admittedly, I haven't had Pizza Hut in probably

fucking 10 years at least like just because it's not really a thing in australia anymore it's not really a thing in japan either like dominoes is usually the first thing you find um

So maybe my change if I have Pizza Hut here, I don't know. But just from my personal experience of eating pizza, Domino's was the best. - All right. - So let's put Domino's. - Sorry, Garnt. - Sorry, Garnt. - Look, I lost the fucking Chick-fil-A one. - Everyone's got one. - All right, we get three more to fill up. This is fucking hard, man. - This is hard. - This feels like trying to do the treaty of Versailles. - Kind of think of a good outcome for everyone involved. - What else is there? - What are the top,

I'm going to say my personal favorite American brands. Chipotle. That's my favorite one. I don't hate Chipotle, but it's like...

- I think option number four, you know what I mean? - What do you mean? - As in like, if I'm feeling like I wanna just gorge out on some like terrible fast food, I'm just like- - I'm down for Chipotle. - Chipotle. - I'm down for Chipotle. - There's just some comfort in there. A lot of people were gonna put Taco Bell, but like- - Oh hell no, no, no, no. - No, hell no. Like Chipotle just hits the spot for me every time. - I think if we were university students in America, we would be putting Taco Bell on this list.

- Of course. - Because Taco Bell, the whole point of Taco Bell is that you've got the most food for the least amount of money. - Yeah, totally. - And that was the charm of it and it was good. - Yeah. - But you know,

When we rocked up to LA, it's already like 15 bucks a taco. It's basically, it's written all that, you know, and you're in California. So you're just going to, you're going to have actual tacos. Yeah, of course. But yeah, I'm happy to put Chipotle on there. Yeah. All right. Yeah. We'll put Chipotle. No matter where you go in the States, you get a fucking beautiful burrito. And I wish Japan had it. Although I will say the last time I had Chipotle in the States, I did get terrible diarrhea. Yeah, it is. It's gotten up at the price, even like the, over the like past, like,

seven years I've been going to America, it's gone. - Fast food in general has just gotten so much more expensive. - Yeah, definitely. - All right, all right. - Two more, huh? - I'm not sure. I'm just gonna throw it out. - Just start naming them. - I'm just gonna start naming stuff. We haven't got a coffee shop on there. Starbucks? - No.

- Does it deserve it? - No. - And if not, does any coffee chain deserve to be on there? - I don't think so. - Not really. - The only coffee chain that I kind of was like okay with was probably like Pret in the UK. It was pretty good. - Actually, I like Pret. - I like Pret 'cause you got really cheap coffee and normally a good snack. - And the snacks, the crisps there are fucking goaded. The Chipotle, the Chipotle,

- Crisps there? - Yeah, that's pretty good. Just the price was really good. It was like one pound 50 in London for a coffee. - Damn. - Yeah, it was kind of the go-to. And they had a really good brand rep 'cause they would also give

A lot of the food that would have gone to waste the next day, they only gave to homeless people as well. - Oh, okay. - It's pretty good. - Never heard of this one. - It's a bit global. I think they're in other countries too. - They're in other countries. I've seen them in other countries, but it's definitely more- - Oh, it's in the LAX airport as well, remember? We got the fucking cucumber tuna sandwich in the airport. - Oh, it's this one. - Yeah. - Oh. - I didn't know it was a chain. - It is a chain. Pretty good.

- Pretty the only coffee chain that I kind of fuck with. I normally would always just go local though. But if I had to, gun to my head. - I'm just trying to think of variety. Pret's like a maybe for me because I really, really like, you know, whenever I'm in the UK, I need a lunch and a coffee, I go to Pret. - I mean, I like the Danish one, Joe and the Juice. It's pretty good, but I feel like- - I mean, I'll put my vote in for that one. Every time you guys go out and you see Joe and the Juice, you're like,

- Hold up, boys, it's time. - I didn't know it was Danish, but it's Danish. - Oh, is it? - Yeah, so every time I go to the States, when I land, if it's like the first lunch, if I'm not with someone, I'll normally like, my personal order for myself is that I'll go to the nearest Joe and the Juice. - Spicy tuna. - And I'll get the spicy tuna. - Hell yeah, dog. - Flatbread and a flat white. It's just nice. - It's so good. - Yeah, they've got 400 chains. - Can we put Joe on the juice? - Sure, I'm happy to put it. - Sure, sure. - Hell yeah, let's go. - It's a cop out, but I'll put it.

- And they do good coffees there, so. - Okay. - One more. - One more. What other foods are there? So we have burgers, we got sandwiches, Japanese pizza.

- Mexican. - Mexican. - I'm not even a Mexican girl. - Wow. - Look, look, look. - Yeah, but not like- - The same way where- - Yeah, but like, if you want actual Mexican food, you just go to this truck. - Yeah, I know that. - You go to the random truck on the street. - I know that. That's like, I'm not arguing that. This is more of just like, it's the closest thing. It's like saying Taco Bell, you know?

- Jeez. - Fuck. - I know we're missing one. - I know. - 'Cause Dinos fucking loves it. - I'm not putting Panda Express in there. I'm not putting it. It tastes like shit. - Nah, I fuck with it. - I fucking knew you'd fucking Panda Express. - I know he does. - I understand fully

It is not Chinese, but man, sometimes it just, when you smell that orange chicken, you're just like, shit. - If I had a 20 milligram edible, I'm sure Panda Express would hit the spot, but I'm not doing that. - No, I'll eat it so well. - Well, you can say that about most of these things. - Yeah, exactly. - To be fair. Actually no, except for Gregg's of course. Gregg's hits no matter what. - Yeah, Gregg's hits no matter what. - Substances you've been taking. - I particularly feel strongly about anything else, maybe.

- Yeah, I'm just thinking like of the other fast food chains. 'Cause there's a lot of them that are just like an immediate no. - Yeah. - Burger King's a no. - Yeah, Burger King's a no. - Burger King's a no. - Arby's is a no. - Dunkin' Donuts, no. - No. - Can you go to the top 50 and just scroll down? - Yeah, top 50 fast food chains in America. - Ranked. McDonald's, no. - Wendy's, no. - Starbucks. I mean, I fuck with Wendy's, but I know you guys don't. - No. - No. - Dunkin', no. Domino's, no. Panera Bread.

Sonic, Arby's, Little Caesars, Dairy Queen, Jack in the Box, Popeyes, Whataburger, Jimmy John's, Hardee's, Zaxby's, Culver's, Carl's Jr. No, fuck off. That's terrible. Bojangles, Raisin Cane's, Steak and Shake. None of these are jumping out at me. Tim Hortons. Is there something we're forgetting in Japan?

Wow, White Castle's number 50. That's hilarious. Something in Japan? What else is there? Freshness burger? Fuck no. I hate freshness. Oh, Coco Ichi. Oh, Coco Ichi. I'm down for Coco Ichi. I'm okay with Coco Ichi. Feels like a cop-out, but I'm down. I mean, I fuck with Coco Ichi.

- Yeah. - I get Kokoichi kinda often. - Yeah. - When I'm traveling. It's normally the one that everyone, when you're traveling and you have picky eaters, it's normally the one that everyone's okay with. - True, true. - 'Cause you can customize quite heavily. - Yep. - And so, which is very rare in Japan actually. - So you wouldn't go for Ichiran?

- No. - No, that's not a fast food. - Also do not give him that power. Don't even suggest it. - I was just playing devil's advocate. - I like Ichiran and I recognize that it is lower quality ramen, but I just like it still. It's a comfort, I don't know. - That's fair. - But yeah, I'm down to put Koko Ichi. - Yeah. - I think Koko Ichi is always good. I don't know a single person who doesn't like Koko Ichi. - Sure. - Everyone's always down for it. - All right, chuck up Koko Ichi then.

- There we go. - All right, well, there's our list. - That's our fast food three by three. - International list. - Look, I wanted to put In-N-Out and I wanted to put Jersey Mike's or Jimmy John's instead of Subway, just so you know. - Yes, look, if this was an American fast food list, this would be looking very, very different. - Even if it was Global, I would put Jersey Mike's. - If we were each individually making our own three by threes, this would look very different. - Next one. - Fucking hell, that would take forever to get through that. - All right. Medieval weapons.

- Okay. - What a great fucking choice. - I mean the mace for sure. - Mace, yeah. That's the all rounder. - The mace has got to be the goat. - Looks sick as fuck. - Just looks medieval. - Yeah. Dangerous as shit. - How many medieval weapons do we even know? - I probably know nine. - I might struggle. - Shall we just do like, instead of specifically medieval weapons, just like old weapons?

I mean, like just weapons from any region. - There's a lot of medieval weapons though. Now are you a mace enjoyer or a flail enjoyer? - What's the difference? - Oh, you fooled, Joey. Flail is when it's on a chain on the stick. So dangling. - That's what I was thinking. - That's the flail. - Okay. - The mace is the fucking metal rod. - Just the stick with the ball at the end? - Yeah. - Okay, I fuck with the flail.

I'm more of a mace enjoyer personally. Really? I think- I just love the whole fucking swinging around shit. I don't think they swing it around like that. Yeah, but they do in the video games. I think they swing it a little bit to just wind it and smash. That's what I mean. Yeah, but I- Okay, I just think it should be the mace. But look, in Zelda, the Darknauts, they fucking swing it around and then throw that shit. You don't throw the mace, just to clarify. No, no, you throw it towards while holding onto it. Yeah, but that mace is ridiculously long. That's not a mace at that point. That's a fucking rope with a spiky ball. No, that's a flail.

- No, it's not even flail. - Okay. - I fuck with the flail. - If we're putting mace on there, I'm gonna say,

- Warhammer. - Warhammer is not a medieval weapon. - It's right there. It's right there. - What? - Right there. - Warhammer, there it is. - Wait, wait, show me this. There's no way someone's using this. - Yes, they do. - Okay, that looks very different from what I was- - What the fuck were you expecting? - I thought you meant like some from literally like something that looked like from like a game. - You talking about like the fucking hammer from like Smash Bros or something? - Yeah, like a giant ass fucking hammer.

- You think like- - I don't even like, "Who are the fucking big ones they have?" Or I'm like, "You can't pick that out." - Boom! - That looks way more reasonable. - Yeah. - But also, that looks shit.

- That would not be very effective. - That's lame as shit. - No, no. - I hate to tell you, buddy. That looks boring as shit. - Look, it's a fucking hammer. Everyone knows how to use a hammer, okay? And just like the name Warhammer just sounds cooler than most of the other fucking weapons. It's called a fucking Warhammer, man. How good is that name by itself? - The word comes from a French word, which is just iron hammer. - I don't care. - Way less cool. - The French aren't, even the French can't ruin this for me. - Let's go back to the list.

I don't want to put it on. I'm not putting it on. I want to make the argument for Crospo.

- I'm happy with the crossbow. I mean, it's a sick weapon. - It's a sick weapon. - Yeah, it's just a better bow, isn't it? - Yeah. - Well, not quite. - You know. - There's a lot of drawbacks. The crossbow was because people who couldn't use a bow who weren't good at it, they could just use it. - Yeah, that's the point. That's the point. It's like baby's first bow. - Well, that's why, I mean, I think the long bow is better though. It's cooler. It's just cooler. You get to fucking draw it. It's just cool. It's just cool. Also I'm biased 'cause it's like the most popular medieval Welsh weapon was the long bow.

I mean, look, I want to, I fuck with the crossbow.

- Okay. - I'm happy to put that. - Can we pick? Can we get one on the list? - All right, crossbow, crossbow. - No, we already have the flail, right? - No, no, did we agree on flail? - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. - Can I introduce you to the flanged mace, by the way? - Flanged mace? - What's the flanged mace? - This is like the one though where they look like fucking like royal. - Yeah. - Oh, I love this one. I mean, these look sick as fuck. - Yeah, these can go on there. - All right, all right. So, okay. - Look at this. This is like the way cooler maces. I don't know why. Like, 'cause it makes it look classy.

- It looks like you're wielding a fucking chess piece. - Look at that. - I think that's how it started. - You rock up with the cane. - Okay, let's put the flanged mace on. - More accurate chess queen right there, man. - Flanged mace. - I'm gonna put the crossbow. - Flanged mace and crossbow. We'll put that on for now. - The crossbow stood the test of time. - What about the, what the fuck are they called? - Trebuchet?

- Trebuchet has to go up there, just so you know. - Trebuchet is cool. - Yeah, I'll agree with that. - It is objectively like, could you imagine being like a fucking peasant and witnessing a trebuchet the first time? Just seeing like this ball of fire be shot through the sky? - True. - It would have been the first artillery fucking system. - Yeah, it is. Like it's badass. - Yeah, all right. Trebuchet, going on there. - Going on there. All right, crossbow, boom. - Cool. - What about the, what the fuck is it called? The Morning Star?

- Oh, that's the mace. - Is that the mace? - I believe that's- - No, Morningstar is, there's no like handle, right? It's literally just like a really, really long chain with a ball at the end. Is that not a Morningstar? - I could be wrong here, actually. - I don't know. - I was always under the impression that Morningstar was a mace. - Morningstar mace, oh yeah. You're right. Okay, it's just a long mace. Okay, nevermind. - What else we got on the list? - Let's see. - What is it? A quarterstaff again? It's just a staff, right?

She's a staff.

- Kind of cool that they just used staffs when they had metal. They were like, "No, I'll use a staff." - Just give me a big stick. - I'll beat this guy to death with a big stick. - Big stick. - 'Cause I just think there's like, as a man, you just can never escape the urge to wield a big stick. - That's why I was gonna make an argument. It's pretty basic, but I just feel that the lance just has stood the test of time. What is one of the first- - You're just saying that 'cause you like fate.

- No, no. - Yes you are. - No, the lance or the spear. Look since man- - The spear is like just collectively the most effective battle weapon. - It is one of the most effective battles. - I'll go with the lance. - It's one of the most effective battle weapons. You can keep your distance and it's just like one of, okay, before we can make fucking swords or maces or iron work, what has worked since the fucking like stone ages? Man with pointy stick. And man with pointy stick

- Okay. - Like stood the test of time for all. - Do you know how many countries were built on man with pointy stick? - All right, let's get the lance on there. - What about the, I know this one's another basic one, but it's effective. What about like a battle ax?

- Nah, I'm a long sword kind of guy. - You're a long sword? - I think we gotta have long sword on. - I think axes are like overrated. It's like, it's halfway between- - That's like a jousting lance. - Yeah, that's a jousting lance. - It's like the battle axe is like halfway between like a sword and a mace, you know? - Yeah, I mean, it was, I could be wrong, but I think they just used to give it to people who weren't good with swords. They would just give them the axe.

I fuck with the long sword. It's just cool because it's so fucking big.

- We're doing like two handed long swords? - It's not like how, like, are we talking long? - Cooler swords? Yeah, you can be like Katana, that's cool. Just the fucking image of a guy in fucking armor. - We're talking like two handed long sword, right? - Yeah, two fucking big long sword. I think there's just nothing cooler than it. It is just the coolest. - I don't know, Katana is pretty good at math. - Yeah, Katana is good. - I think the long sword's cooler though. - Katana's good. - Also, actually the long sword would beat the Katana.

- Like objectively, just like, okay, I got you. I gotta stop saying objectively. There is a reason. - Longsword is just fucking cool. - Look, if the long sword was as big as say how it's depicted in games like Dark Souls, then yeah, I would agree. - They are sometimes. - No, Dark Souls are pretty fucking big and pretty fucking heavy. Long swords are way more like maneuverable than how video games- - They're pretty long.

- Can you type in length of a long sword? Average? - Average? Not to compare. - 80 to 110 centimeters. That's pretty fucking big. - It's like that? - But like in comparison to like some of its,

portrayals and like video games and movies. - Well, they have some extra long ones like the two hand really long ones. - But they also have two handed katanas as well. - Yeah, I know, I know. But I just think it's cool. - I don't know, call me biased, but I think the katana is cool. - Like look, okay, is it a little cringe now because it's super popular? Yes, but come on guys, it's the fucking katana. It got popular for a fucking reason, man. - I'm always a scimitar fan over the katana though. I think scimitars are just cooler. - Really? - They're cooler katanas.

- I mean, I get what you're saying, but I don't know. Bring a picture of a scimitar. - And also RuneScape. Scimitars are cool. - You know what scimitar reminds me of? Scimitar reminds me of, oh, that fucking pirate enemy that immediately dies.

You know what I mean? In every video game, they're always holding a scimitar and they're like, oh, it's the most basic pirate weapon. Okay. You know what I mean? It's like pirate mob weapon. I'll go to Katana if we can put rapier on there.

- Ooh, I do like a rapier. - They're just objectively cool. - They are cool. - I do like rapier as well. - Just saying, I don't need a big sword. I just simply will win. - This is the definition of just like- - Swag. - This is like the high skill cap weapon. - Yeah. - This is like, I want to play fencing, but I also want to kill someone. - Although later on they must have became weapons for dueling and fashion, but it's still pretty cool. - It's so sick though. - Look at the fucking, oh my God.

- Yeah, 'cause I think later on in Europe, it was more of a like status symbol to be having like your own kind of crafted sword. - All right, so can we agree, katana and rapier? - Sure, yeah. - Okay, sure, katana and rapier. - All right. - As the only swords? - Yeah. - The only swords? - I'd say so, yeah. - All right. - What other weapons are there? - Scythe. - That was never a weapon, Garnt. It's never been used as a weapon. - It can be. - No, it cannot. It's never been used. You know the only person who uses it as a weapon? Death.

- And you're already done. - Just think about that amount of aura. - That's pretty OP. - That's pretty fucking OP. - I'm not putting scythe on them. - Come on, man. - I know. - Come on. - It's just not a weapon. - It's right there. - Agricultural hand tool. - Look, it came out as an agricultural hand tool. - Never wore scythe. Hold on, what's the wore scythe?

This episode was sponsored by Shopify. Guys, if you didn't know, we use Shopify over at Trash Taste to sell our merch and we do not know what we would do without it. Absolutely. I feel like the whole e-commerce thing, selling stuff online, like where do you learn how to do that?

I don't know. I mean, when I first started my clothing brand too, I had no idea how to sell off my brilliant designs, but thankfully Shopify was there to help us out. Nobody does selling better than Shopify, home of the number one checkout on the planet and the not so secret secret with shop pay that boost conversions up to 50%, meaning way less carts going abandoned and way more sales going cha-ching.

So if you're into growing your business, your commerce platform, better be ready to sell wherever your customers are scrolling or strolling on the web, in your store, in their feed, and everywhere in between. Don't forget that businesses that sell more sell on Shopify. So what are you waiting for? Upgrade your business and get the same checkout that's nonsense and trash taste users. Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at shopify.com slash trash, all lowercase. Go to shopify.com slash trash to upgrade your selling today. shopify.com slash trash. Back to the episode.

- Military scythe. - It's a fancy sphere. I'm happy for the war scythe, but I'm not putting scythe for garden tools. - I want the scythe scythe. - No. - You want this? - No. - We're not talking about the most practical weapons. This is not the conversations here. We're talking about coolness. Look, that's just...

- See? - That's just fucking cool, man. - Imagine sweeping the legs of your enemies with this shit. - Yeah, imagine that. - You didn't. - There's a reason. - Yeah, but you could. - There's a reason why scythes became like a staple of horror movies, just because it's just intimidating. Is it the most effective weapon? Probably not, it's a fucking guarding tool. - I don't think it's ever been, oh my God. - But the aura of the scythe is enough that it became a staple of horror movies, man. I'm just saying, I'm just saying. - Anything can be a weapon if you try hard enough.

- You've already decided both of you, just put it on the list. Stop insulting our list. - As cool as like rapiers are, can you imagine if fucking like Freddy Cougar came out and he was like holding like a little rapier? Like what? - You know, I would be worried. I would be extremely worried because he's very confident in his abilities to land a critical strike. - Yeah, but what's scarier, that or Freddy Cougar coming out with a fucking scythe? - I just go in a doorway and he can't hit me.

- How's it gonna hit me if I'm standing in a fucking doorway? - No, it's not about the rape because with the rapier, you're just like, "Ooh, it's a little pointy stick." - Little? You die. - Look, Scythe is just intimidating and I want Scythe to be on there. - Is there any blunt force weapons that could go up on you?

- I just think a cannon ball is fucking sick. - Just the cannon ball? - Like the cannon, it's just sick. Just a giant fucking ball of metal being launched at someone. - Is that medieval? - Is that fucking terrifying? - Yeah, pretty medieval. - I mean, there's handheld weapons, maybe further down. - When was the cannon invented? - Oh, projectile weapons. There's a whole part that said projectile weapons. - Yeah, let's go projectile weapons. - Bows, gunpowder firearms, there we go.

- Blunderbuss? - Blunderbuss is funny. - Blunderbuss is funny. - What is a blunderbuss? - Isn't it where they would just shoot a, like basically like OG shotgun? - It's like the one where, is that the ones where you like put the metal ball inside and you- - Yeah. - Pull it in like that? - Well, it's kind of like a musket, but I think the original versions. - Damn, look at that thing. - Yeah. - That's an OG shotgun. - Yeah. - Yeah.

- Pirate weapon. - Hey, there's nothing wrong with pirate weapons. - Can you go back to the list? - Pirate weapons, man. - I wanna see if I see anything. Scroll down. - Hand cannon. - Oh, slingshots. - Throwing weapons. - Slingshots? What are you fucking Ness? - That's just not gonna kill anything. - What the fuck? - Are you fucking serious, Joey? - A slingshot. - You're thinking about the fucking Bart Simpson slingshot. - Yeah, that's what I'm thinking of.

- Bro, I used to go like fishing with my dad and he always slingshot the bait in. Shit was powerful. - There's a reason that David took down Goliath with a fucking sling shot, man. That shit ain't playing around. - Wait, what is the Byzantine flamethrower? - Byzantine. - Is it really Byzantine? - It's Byzantine. - I thought it was Byzantine.

- The Byzantine flamethrower. - What? - Oh yeah, isn't this the thing that like historians don't know how the fuck they came up with? - That's gotta go on the list. - Yeah, this is the one where it's like, it was so ahead of its time that for the longest time- - 424 BC. - Yeah, they were like, how the fuck did they invent this back then? I think I remember seeing like a documentary on this. - Oh, sulfur, rock salt, ashes, thunder stone. - Thunder stone. - And pyrite and pound fine in a black mortar at midday sun.

I mean, that's just gotta go on the list. - Yeah, I mean, that's just fucking cool. - A flamethrower invented before? Jesus Christ. Yeah, put it on. - Yeah, Byzantine flamethrower. Yeah, put that shit on. - I just think the standard bow and arrow deserves a spot. Just objectively cool. High skill, high reward. Nothing cooler than being in like a- - What do you mean high reward? - 'Cause you just look fucking sexy. - You're thinking of fucking Legolas. - Think of everybody's favorite Avenger, Thor car.

- Shut up. - 'Cause you think you have Legolas, that's why. - Is he not the fucking coolest character from "Lord of the Rings" after Gimli? - Yeah, I was gonna say, I like Gimli. Gimli's my favorite. - After Gimli. - After Gimli.

I just think the bow and arrow is a staple. It's cool. And we all fuck with it. There's a reason why in every single piece of medieval or fantasy, we're like bow and arrow. Of course. It's why it can go next to the fucking magic user. You're like guy with stick and wood.

- That's his talent. - I think I'd rather put cannon on. - But like, do you, when you're picking a class, like an RPG. - I fucking love the archer class. - You go with the archer class. - It's always the highest skill, like reward class. - That's always the last class I pick. - No. - I don't know. - 'Cause magic is always like, goo goo ga ga, free fire, and then bow and arrow. - Magic just seems cooler.

No, the bow and arrow, they reward your positioning, your maneuverability, just like in real life. It's a fucking amazing piece of, no matter what has happened in time, guns, whatever, the bow and arrow still works. Yeah, but we already have crossbow out there. Yeah, but the bow and arrow is better than the crossbow. That's why I wanted the list. The bow and arrow is cooler than the crossbow.

I don't know if it is. I don't know if it is. I don't know. It is. I don't know. Also, it's just cool. It's just cool. There's a reason why we have bow and arrow competitions and not crossbow competitions. We probably do have crossbow. Don't look it up. In the Olympics. In the Olympics, yes. Well, those things are basically like- Are we not going to put like shields on there? No. Shields? I don't know. I like beating someone to death with a shield. Yeah. Bow and arrow. Let's get a bow and arrow and be done with it.

- I'd rather put a fucking cannon on. If that's the case. - What about a battering ram?

Not really a weapon, more of a siege tool. I mean, so is a trebuchet. Like... Trebuchet? What do you mean? Trebuchet absolutely is a fucking weapon. Trebuchet destroys buildings. You don't kill people with battering rams, you kill doors with battering rams. I mean, trebuchet, wasn't it used mostly for sieges anyway? Yeah, to kill people and break the walls. Yeah, to break, like a battering ram. Yeah, but you would absolutely fucking kill people. You'd throw, like, fucking piles of fire. Okay, well...

- I don't know, last one's hard. - Joey, what do you think? What do you think, Joey? - I'm inclined to go with the classic cannon, if I'm being honest. - I am probably- - Oh, actually scroll down. Oh, the fire ship is goaded. - The fire ship? - You light a ship on fire and sail it into another ship.

- Goated weapon. - The OG kamikaze? - Yeah. - Yeah. - Pretty much, yeah. - It's kind of the goat. It's kind of epic. - It is pretty epic. - What's, are there any other fire based weapons that's, nah. - Not really, yeah. - Seems to be, seems to be elephants in warfare. - Yeah, the elephant, elephant. - The battle, yeah, the war elephants. - Yeah, the war elephants. - That's sick. - That's pretty sick.

- What about the Jong and the warship? What is that? - The what? - Jong? - Type of sailing ship originating from Java. - Oh, interesting. Interesting. - Oh, what makes that different though? I mean, those sails are kind of weird. - All right, we gotta pick one. Let's just fucking move on. It's taking too long. - Okay, cannon. - Just put the cannon. - Fine, cannon. - Classic cannon and cannonball. - Fucking waves with that katakana. Katakana, katakana. - Katakana. - Katakana.

- Hey man, don't knock the katana. - Look, look. - Give me that. - There's a reason why so many people buy katanas for themselves. - Yeah, you know, it's only- - If I could buy a cannon for myself, I absolutely fucking would, but on a fire ship. Okay. Nine by nine smells. - You mean three by three? - Sorry, yeah. We can do a nine by nine. - Three by three smells? - Best smells. - The best smells. - Cooked onion.

Okay, yes. Yes, yes. It's literally the meme of, damn, what are you cooking in there? Me, literally just cooking the onion. Like, damn, that smells good. Cooked onion has to be number one. Cooked onion is up there. Okay, I don't know if you guys agree with me on this one either. Gas. Gas.

- Like petrol? - I love gas. - I fucking love the smell of petrol, man. - I love the smell of gas. - Oh man. - Yeah, I can't disagree on that actually. - I know that it's one of those, if you'd like it, you love it. If you hate it, you can't stand it. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, I know I shouldn't be sniffing this. - Yeah, I know I should fuck with it. - 'Cause it's bad for my health. - The gas station smell. - Yeah, the gas station. - Gas station smell. Why does that happen though? Because isn't this supposed to be like, our body is like, things that smell bad for us are dangerous. And then it's just like, gas.

- Gas has to be up there. - Gas is definitely up there. - I fucking love the smell of gas. Actually, that's why I'm American. - Probably. - Okay. - Wow, the dichotomy, cooked onion and gas. - Cooked onion and gas. - I also like garlic. - I was gonna say garlic, but I'm like, it depends. 'Cause it can be really overpowering sometimes. - 'Cause like garlic cooked, yes. Garlic-y breath, bad.

- Yeah, but you can say the same thing about, oh, if your breath smelled like petrol. That'd probably also be bad as well. - Actually, nah, petrol, yeah. I'd be like, come here, Sydney. Yo, you've been chugging rum. - Okay, I'll be honest, there aren't perfumes or scents that I would put on this list. I'm happy for this to be a very boy-centric list. - Boy-centric list, boy smell? - Well, none of us wear cologne, right?

- Only on special occasions. - Only like if I need to cover something up. - Yeah. - Unless I smell like ass. - Yeah, I've never really liked the perfumey smell. I don't know. Something about it is just like very overpowering. - If I had to put any, it might be like lavender.

- I like lavender a lot. It smells really nice. Or like vanilla. - I like citrusy smells. - We're not gonna agree on this. - If it smells like vanilla, it's gonna be like too sweet. I don't like like sweet smells. - I hate smelling like dish soap. So I don't like that. - It gives off like the fresh feeling when you have like citrusy smells. - What about like the smell of like chocolate? - What?

- Like the chocolate smell. - What are you fucking talking about? - Like when you walk into a chocolate store and you like, you just have, yeah you do. - Chocolate doesn't have a smell. - It's a subtle smell. - Chocolate barely has a smell. You mean like when they like roast coffee beans? - Roast coffee beans. - There we go. - I think, oh, that's what you, okay, yes. I think 'cause the temperature that they,

- Chocolate and I think that's why roasted coffee smells like chocolate. - Right. - 'Cause I believe when things are roasted at that temperature, they often have a very similar smell. - Oh, okay, okay. - It could be wrong. - It might be that then. - That's what someone told me, but roasted coffee beans, it's absolutely goaded smell. - Yeah, it might be that then. - I think that's why it can often smell like chocolate and like caramel and those kind of things. - Okay, it's gonna sound bad. This is the second time I've said this. Subway. - What?

- Something about the way I, cause like objectively, Subway is like one of the worst sandwich brands, but like sometimes you just walk past a Subway and you're like, fuck that smells good. - I want the McDonald's to smell more.

Does McDonald's have a smell? - Oh yeah. - The Subway smell is like so strong. - When you walk to the next McDonald's anywhere in the world, they somehow always smell the same. - I don't know if I like that smell though. - I love that smell. - Like it's recognizable, but I wouldn't say like, oh yeah. - I don't wanna put the Subway one on there. I don't think it's good enough. - What about something like, I don't know, firewood?

- Smoke or like fire in general. - Just like fire smell. - Yeah, I like fire smell. - Yeah, fire smell. - Yeah, right? Every boy likes to smell fire. - It's like, ooh, I love the smell of fire. We got fire and we got gasoline. - Firewood, gas, coffee and onions. - And that makes cooked onions and also- - This is just camping smell, right? - Yeah. - What else is there?

- I know this is crazy and I'll just add my piece just 'cause I'll say it. After a workout, I love when I stink. I love that smell of like post-workout stink. - This is the equivalent of someone saying like, "I love the smell of my own farts." - But like if someone else, even if someone else stinks, I'm like, "Whatever, man, we're all working out. Let's kiss." - That might possibly be the gayest thing you've ever said.

- I just feel like when you're fucking sweating after a workout and you smell yourself and you're like, it's like the smell of victory. - No, I smell so sour. I don't like it. - Yeah, but then I shower and get rid of it, of course. But then the moment- - I like how I smell like after the shower. - Yo, that's wild, bro. - Yeah, that is pretty wild. - That's wild. - I'm sure there's someone else who agrees with me. - I'm sure there is, but they're not here. - Yeah, I just wanted to tell you. - 'Cause they haven't stank you. - No, I stink, I stink. - Okay, why don't this one- - No, they even smelled me.

- I don't know, there's something about, I think of the endorphins of the workout mixed with like the smell being like, "All right, I'm done. We did the workout." - But I think that's what it might be. I don't think it's the smell. It's the combination of the smell and the endorphins, right? - Even though I know it's gross. Like I know it's gross. - Okay, I know this one's quite contentious. What about the smell of rain? What about the smell of rain?

- There's no smell of rain. - I don't like that. - You don't like that smell? - There is definitely a smell of rain. - Really? - Yeah. - Yeah. - When you like go outside and you're like, "Ooh, it smells like it's about to start raining." - Yeah. - Yeah. - You can't tell that? - No. - It depends. - It's a certain smell. - It depends. Okay. We're gonna break it down. There's rain on wet concrete, which I actually kind of fuck with. - Yeah. - But rain in like, you know, in like more nature settings just reminds you of damp.

I fucking hate that smell, but fresh rain on concrete, I'm like, "Okay." - Yeah, 'cause it's interesting, 'cause I've had this conversation with a few people and it's very contentious. You either think it has no smell at all, smells terrible, or you absolutely love the smell. I love the smell of rain, but what about you guys? - Well, he doesn't smell rain. - He doesn't even know. - Also, I would say my sense of smell is probably my worst sense.

- Really? - I think I'm really bad at smelling things. It has to be pretty obvious. - That's why you love the smell of your own body after a workout. - 'Cause it's the most pungent smell out there. - When you say it like that, it sounds pretty bad. What about, hear me out, the smell of a woman? - Pheromones? - What do you think, guys? Fellow men. - Fellow men, am I right? - Fellow straight men. What do we think about women? - Well, I love the smell of a good woman. - I love the smell of a lash.

- When I smell a woman coming around the corner. - I feel birds. - I feel birds. - I go crazy. - All right, do we prefer like, do you guys prefer like natural smells or like a little bit of like, you know, perfume or something on there? What do you guys think? - Nah, natural for me. - Natural, I think. - Natural? - Yeah. - For sure. - But I don't know, I think I like natural and then I like, ah, yeah, I had perfume this whole time, like. - Oh, like freshly shampooed hair.

- It smells like nothing. - What do you mean it's water? - Is that not just the smell of shampoo though? - I guess it is, but some,

- It's like something about, it's not like- - That's like freshly cleaned surface. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

- The fucking sheets is the detergent, Joey. What's the difference? - Yeah, but with the sheet, it has a combination body and encompassment. It's a different. - Also you're sleeping in that shit as well. So you have all night to smell it. You know what I mean? Whereas like freshly shampooed here, I'm not going up to Aki and being like, I'm not doing that. - It just feels like, ooh, feels like fresh. I don't know. - I like it. I mean, look, I'm not saying it's bad, but it's not like a standout for me.

- Fuck, this is hard, eh? - Yeah. I like this one though. - I'm running out, man. This is tough. - I got no other ones that I feel super passionate about off the top of my head. - Okay, what about ones that give off nostalgia that might not necessarily be what other people like? - Okay. - For me, that's firewood. - Okay, this, I don't know if I like this smell, but something about this smell just brings memories to me. It's like the smell of a swimming pool.

- You know what I'm talking about? - The chlorine smell? - The chlorine smell. I can't objectively say that it's a good smell, but it just reminds me of just like when I'm in a pool. - I'll put it down. - When I'm in a pool, I normally have a good time. - Yeah, I get it. - I'm normally there for a good time. - I get that. - There's just something comforting about it. - I get that. - You know? - I know this one's also like super basic, but what about just like freshly cut grass? Do you like that smell? - I don't like that smell. - You don't like that smell? - I don't think it's good enough to go on the list. - Okay, okay, that's fair.

- Man, what is the smell of like freshly cocked? - Freshly cocked? - Cocked grass? - Freshly cocked. - Freshly cocked grass. - I don't know, it's just like, it has that like- - This is like the fucking Avatar list of stuff. Fire, water, gasoline.

- Onion. - What about the smell of the ocean? - I was gonna say yes, yes. - I love the smell of the ocean. - Fresh air, the salty air. - Ocean breeze. - The salty air. Will I go to the ocean? Will I go in the ocean? No, but just that, the smell of that breeze. - Ocean breeze, I love that shit. - Oh man, what else is there? - Two more. - I really like the smell of bleach, but.

That's just me. Are you okay? I like how bleach smells. Why? It smells nice. It does not smell nice. Why? I think it smells nice. That's...

- When I cleaned the toilet, I love the smell. - It's like saying chloroform smells nice. - Let me give you a taste. - It's so good I pass out. - Do you like the smell of paint as well? - Yeah, I love the smell of paint. - I think I like the smell of really harsh chemicals. I think there's something about it that smells really nice. - What, no. - Yeah. - Petrol is the furthest I'll go. - I love the smell of gravy.

Gravy smells so good. Yeah, but you could also just, I like the smell of food. That's just basically the smell of like onion though, right? Gravy. It's just, it's just. It has a lot of onion in it. It has a lot of onion in it. I was on a trail of thought and then the fucking paint continued. Shit. Oh no, I hate this. It's on the tip of my tongue. What is it? What else could there be?

- I love just the bar of soap smell you get. It's so strong when you wash your hands with a bar of soap. - It's the standard bar of soap. - Any bar of soap always lives just such a nice odor. It's quite strong. - You guys clowning me on the fucking shampoo one? - No, hand wash doesn't do the same. Hand wash doesn't leave a strong odor a lot of the time.

This podcast is brought to you by Aura. By the time you hear about a data breach, your information has already been exposed for months. On average, companies take 277 days to report a breach. That's nine months where hackers have access to your personal data, your name, address, phone number, even your social security number, before you even know it's out there.

Think about it. Nine months is enough time for criminals to open accounts in your name, rack up debt, and disappear. All while you're left dealing with the mess. And when the company finally tells you, it's too late. The damage is already done. Data breaches aren't slowing down. They're getting bigger. And the delays in reporting them aren't helping. Right now, your personal information could already be on the dark web. And you wouldn't even know it.

How long do you want to wait before taking action? That's why we're thrilled to partner with Aura. Aura monitors the dark web for users' phone numbers, emails, and social security numbers, delivering real-time alerts if any suspicious activity is detected. Additionally, Aura provides up to $5 million in identity theft insurance, offering a robust safety net in the event of a worst-case scenario. Aura goes the extra mile by scanning the dark web for your sensitive info and alerting you instantly if anything is found.

And if ID theft strikes, no need to panic. Aura's US-based 24-7 broad resolution team works around the clock to fix it fast and get you back on track.

Aura is a complete online safety toolkit, which includes a variety of other features to keep you safe online, including a VPN for secure browsing, Databroker opt-out to stop companies from selling your personal information, a password manager to help you create and store strong passwords, and more. For a limited time, Aura is offering our listeners a 14-day trial plus a check of your data to see if your personal information has been leaked online, all for free when you visit aura.com slash defense.

That's aura.com slash defense to sign up for a 14-day free trial and start protecting you and your loved ones. That's A-U-R-A dot com slash defense. Certain terms apply, so be sure to check the site for details.

Springfest and Ego Days are here at Lowe's. Right now, get a free select Ego 56-volt battery with purchase of a select trimmer, blower, or mower kit. Plus, shop today for new and exclusive items you need for your lawn. So get ready for spring with the latest in innovation from Ego, the number one rated brand in cordless outdoor power. Only at Lowe's. We help, you save. Offer valid through 4-2. Selection varies by location. While supplies last.

- Does it not? - No, I feel like soap leaves are way stronger odor. - Just like a standard bar of soap you're talking about. - Yeah. - I feel standard bar of soap leaves the least amount of smell. - Maybe I'm crazy, I don't know. - Yeah. - Okay, what about the smell of a fresh book?

- A new book. - Oh, I love the smell of books. - The smell of a fresh book? - Yeah. - You know, you can put it on there. - Like a bookstore smell? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, the bookstore smell? - Yeah, yeah, fuck yeah. - Okay, okay, okay. - That's my shit. - Now we're talking, now we're talking. - It's the smell that infamously makes you want to take a shit. - What? - Do you know about this? - What? - You don't know about this? - Joey, I thought we were vibing here, Joey. - No, it's real. It's called the Aoki Mariko Phenomenon.

where apparently the smell of ink has this kind of effect on you where it really makes people want to shit. It's a real thing. Look it up. Look it up. Alchimarico's phenomenon.

- Yeah. "I'll keep my legal phenomenon Japanese expression referring to a sudden urge to defecate that is felt upon entering bookstores." - Well- - It's a real thing. - Remind me never to go to a bookstore with you, Joey. - Bro, don't shoot yourself. - Why do you think I love shooting? - Have you shot yourself in a bookstore? - No, a manga store. - In a manga store? - He smells that, he's like, "Oh yeah." He's like, "Manga!"

I do like the smaller books though. Like especially like the old bookstores, you know, where it's like kind of like, it's going to sound bad, but like kind of like the dusty kind of smell with the ink. Love that shit. All right, one more. What's the smell of Christmas?

- What the fuck are you talking about? - Like pine trees? - I guess pine, sure. - Pine, yeah, I mean, that's- - Fuck it, let's just fill it with pine. - Sure, all right. - Fuck it. - Let's put pine on. - Or then I'll just put grilled meat. - Actually bacon is kind of goaded. - No. - Okay, you don't need to like bacon. - Grilled meat, we disagree with grilled meat. - No, no, no, there's something about the smell of bacon specifically. It's like the fried onions of meat. - No. - No, I hard disagree. - It is. - There was someone that I knew once,

who was raised to be vegetarian and I met him recently and he gave up vegetarianism. Why? Because the smell of cooked bacon was just too fucking op. - This sounds like a fake Reddit post. - I 100%. - Am I vegan, quid, vegetable? - The smell of bacon is so overpowering sometimes. It just makes me sick. I'm just like, oh God. - Let's put pine, let's put pine. - Yeah, pine is way better. It's way more solid. - I'm down for pine. - All right, give me that.

This is the most dude fucking list I've ever seen. Where are our perfumes of this? Where's our clone of this? There's no women on. Not a single side of a woman on this three by three. I swear. Joey just likes shitting himself is what I've learned. Yeah, he really does. Any way that Joey can shit himself, it's going to make the list. I'll shit anywhere. Three by three celebrities? In what metric? Just how you like them.

- Would you like to start? - Robert Pattinson. - Yeah, I'll agree with that. Put him on the list. - He's the GOAT for the reason. - Put him on the list. - Man single-handedly restored. - All right, Rob Pattinson, Willem Dafoe. - Willem Dafoe, yeah. - All right. - Cillian Murphy. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Damn, this is the fastest we've ever gone through one. - I don't know, I'm also not that passionate about celebrities. - We gotta put a woman on there.

- I'm just saying, we gotta put a woman on that. Just so you know. - You caught yourself being like, "We gotta put a woman on it." - Just so you know, 'cause I felt like we were gonna go without a woman and we have to put a woman on that. - I don't know, I kinda like being misogynist. - Well, there's your clip, boys. - Are they in the same photo, Cillian Murphy and Rob Pattinson? - Yeah. Were they standing next to each other?

- Can we put Willem Dafoe on that please? - Yeah, Willem Dafoe. - Who's your favorite female celebrity? - Why did you hit female like that? Why did you say it like that? - What is with the hard F? - Who's your favorite female celebrity? - You said it like it pained you to say. - I sounded like an alien that just landed on earth. - Who is your favorite female celebrity? - Can you name a woman?

- Shit. Mila Kunis. - Oh my God, Joey. - I don't know why it's the first one. - Zentra, isn't it? - Zendaya? - Oh, fuck, sorry. - Zentra.

- Zendaya. - Oh yeah. - I've been on Twitch for too much. - Real fucking favorite, bro. - Zendaya. - Zendaya? No, I don't want any more Zendaya. I'm sorry. The world is trying to spoon feed me Zendaya for the past six months. No offense to Zendaya, but we don't know. - Samuel L. Jackson. - I'm down for Samuel L. Jackson. - Yeah, 100%.

Let's go back to the dudes. I mean, they don't have to be actors as well. But that's just easy. There are the celebrities. I know. Oh, what do you want? Fucking Elon Musk on here? Obama? I'm down for Obama. Sure. He's a celebrity. I would argue he's the most famous celebrity. Why not? Out of this list so far. Okay, put Obama on. Maria Kondo.

- I mean, she did. - I love that fucking picture of Obama. It looks so fake. - It's like AI generated Obama. - It doesn't look real. - Look at his teeth, dude. - No wonder the previous manga was like, "Who's this random foreigner with white teeth?" - The white teeth. His teeth are white. God damn. - That is some perfect dental care, man. - His dentist has paid well, I'm sure.

- Fuck, who else is there? - I'm trying to think. - Who else do I like in terms of celebrity? - Shigeru Miyamoto. - I mean, he is the goat. - I'm down to do it. - I mean, he's the goat. - Hideo Kojima. - Sure, Hideo Kojima, I'm down. - Hideo Kojima. - All right, fuck it, let's put Kojima. - I'm down with Kojima. - Yeah. - Kojima's the goat.

- Guys, we gotta put at least one woman on here. - I think it's gonna be worse than this. - Just name a woman, name a woman, Joey. - I'm trying. - Name one woman. - I'm trying. - You know the name of one woman, right? Just say the name of one woman that you know. - Joe, what's worse, all right? Us putting nine men on here or eight men and one woman? What's the worst look on trash town? - You know a woman, right? Just say a woman. - I know, I know a few of them. - Okay, name one.

- Zendaya. - No, a different one. We already got that one. - Different woman? - You should name one woman, Joey. - Avril Lavigne. - You do not want to put Avril Lavigne on there. - I mean, she's my childhood crush. - Oh, so they're just sex objects to you, Joey? - No, no. I want a healthy, wholesome relationship with Avril. Thank you very much. - So you only like a celebrity if you can have sex with them and have a relationship? - No, no. I'll wait till marriage. - I want you to name a celebrity that you don't want to marry or have a crush on.

- Shit, Michelle Obama. - Wow. - Wow. - Wow. I'm sure you feel strongly about Michelle Obama. - I just saw Obama's white ass teeth and I was like, he has a wife. Who's also a celebrity in a sense. Well, okay, then I'll throw it back to you. Name a woman. - No, no, Jerry, this is about you. - No, no, what? No, why am I the only one? - 'Cause you haven't named a woman. - I've named four of them. - They don't count.

- What do you mean they don't count? What do you mean they don't count? You mean a woman that's worthy of being on here? - That you actually believe belongs on this list. - Well, so far, most of these people on this list is, if they're in the film, I'm probably gonna enjoy it. And then, yes. 'Cause it's hard to think about celebrities that I'm actually passionate about. - Yeah. 'Cause it's like, I don't know who these, I don't know how these people are in real life.

- So it's hard to say, it's hard to judge their character. - Wait, what other celebrities are there? - Cillian Murphy might be like a total dick, but I don't know. I'm still watching his movies. - What other celebrities are there in the world? Musicians? - Mr. Beast. - Mr. Beast. - Shit, this is hard.

- We can just leave it at these six, if I'm being honest. - All right, yeah. - I was never really passionate about this anyway. - Name a woman. - Oh my God, I can't believe this shit. I named four of them. That's more than I thought I was even capable of.

- All right. Next up. - All right. - A three by three of the worst ways to die. - Oh, so this is the other way around now. This isn't the best, this is the worst. The best worst ways to die. - I feel like we had this discussion about this and we agreed on a couple. I think drowning we agreed on. - Drowning. Immolation. - Immolation we agreed on. - What's immolation? - Getting set on fire. - Oh yeah. - I think those are the top two ones I don't wanna have. - No, in a cave?

- Cave's pretty bad. - Yeah, cave diving. - Cave diving? All right. Those are the three that give me the biggest fears. - I mean, if I'm being real, the biggest fear I have is some prolonged medical thing that is just painful for like 10 years where I just die. That sounds way- - That's way too real. - That sounds way worse than drowning. I'll be honest with you. - That's pretty bad. - Just having like horrible quality of life for like 10 years and then dying, that sounds horrible.

- What about like- - That's a bit real though, I know. - It is real, but I mean, it's true. That would be a terrible way to go. - Alone. - That's some deep shit. - If we're talking, if we're getting real here. - All right, okay, let's put those four on. We got set on fire, we got drowning, we got prolonged medical disease, alone, and cave diving. - We already got five.

- How is this the fastest three by three we've done so far? - 'Cause I think this is pretty easy. - I was struggling to name three women and just like, oh yeah, five ways to die. Oh yeah, let me just rattle them off real quick. Suffocation. - I mean. - No breathing. - It's just like weak drowning. 'Cause your lungs get flooded when you drown. It's like an extra step. - Yeah, that's true. I guess it could be included. - It's suffocation with spice.

- With flavor. - So some people like that shit. - Oh my God, I don't think you can show that. You just put fire, just put fire. - Yeah, just put fire. - You can't show that, Kai. - Jesus Christ, Kai. - Just start another one, yeah. - Yeah, there you go. - Okay, there we go. Yeah, suffocation, some people just like that shit, you know? - Not to the point of death though.

They wouldn't know. Because they're turned on right until the point where they die. Shit, you're right. Okay, let's see. Drowning, immolation, cave diving, prolonged... What's even the name? Prolonged?

I saw this one that was bad. I don't think it's scary because it was instant, but it sounded terrifying. Where like, there was this one ship where they had those deep sea diving vessels where they would like fix cables. Yeah. And then they have to wait in those pods for like 28 days to decompress. But like one guy, I don't know why, he like opened the door and everything

even like the tiny gap, like it was like millimeters. The force was so strong that it sucked him through and he got like peeled like a fucking like an orange. - Jesus Christ. - That's the Byron Dolphin incident. - Oh yeah, that was the one, yeah, that was the one. - Yeah. - Jesus Christ. - And I was like, new fear unlocked. - Fucking hell. What about like just like dying from like a torture method of some kind that's just like- - Eh, too basic. - Terrible, yeah, but it'd be terrible.

like getting skinned alive. Yeah. But that's, that's, that doesn't happen nowadays. You know, I feel, I feel like everything we've shown about that.

- Well, okay. Unless you piss off the Mexican cartel or whatever. - Yeah, that's what I'm saying. - Because otherwise all of these would just be torture methods. - You know how in America they have the death sentence and you sometimes get the lethal injection? It goes wrong all the time. And apparently it's horrific. - Really? - Yeah. I think they had a 30 or 40% failure rate or something ridiculous. - What? - Yeah, yeah. And the accounts of people who survived it sounded horrific. - Jesus Christ. - They didn't even die.

- But they were about to die 'cause then they had to do it the next day or something. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. - That's pretty bad. Oh, the electric chair sounds pretty miserable too. - Yeah, that sounds pretty bad. 'Cause the electric chair is not like instant, right? - It's meant to be, but I think a lot of the time it isn't. - Yeah, right. Ugh, that'd be terrible. - It's the electric chair instant. - I think they thought it was, I mean,

- I watched a really good video about, is there a humane way to do the death penalty? And they were like, "Well, probably most humane is just hanging." But a lot of people don't like it. - I saw a documentary where it was just like, a humane way is like, what's it called? Where they like gash you with nitrogen or something and you slowly pass out, but you actually get high.

- Oh, like it's like the painless death. - That sounds expensive, Garnt. - I don't want my tax payer money gonna make a criminal have a free high. - Well, because it's like completely painless, right? - Yeah, it's like falling asleep. - In fact, they die with a high. That sounds like a goaded way to die. - That's a pretty goaded way to die. - That's not a bad way to die. - If I'm gonna die, I wanna get lit right before it happens. - I don't know, what about like eaten alive?

Like, fuckin', you go out into the African Safari and you're mauled to death by like a tiger or a lion. Yeah, yeah, that's pretty bad. That sounds fuckin' terrible. That's horrible. Alright, eaten alive. Try and find a fuckin' picture for that. Just put a picture of a lion. Yeah. Bear. Or a bear, yeah. Bear. We Joe Rogan now. Yeah. Kai, get the footage of the guy getting mauled by a bear. What else is there? What about freezing to death?

- Freezing to death? - Like hypothermia? - I think it would be bad, but I think you would be fading consciousness, I think. You were getting that cold. I think it'd be a pretty horrible decline. - All right, buried alive. Buried alive, gotta be there. That's gotta be there. That's nightmare fuel right there. - Buried alive for sure. - Okay, buried alive sounds good. - All right. - This one's also gonna sound really real, but like dementia.

Yeah, did you die from dementia or do you just get dementia then die? You can die from dementia. Do you? I think so. Google that shit, Kai. I'm pretty sure you can die from dementia. Why are the links purple when we google this? More and more of the brain damage. Yeah, it's basically prolonged brain damage. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, that would be a horrible way to die. Yeah. Just like being confused.

And just like not knowing where you are. Just losing yourself? Sounds terrifying. Oh really? Yeah actually dementia, I mean it's getting real but yeah the idea of like losing yourself is pretty fucking terrifying. That would be absolutely horrible. Yeah. So we can put that up there? Yeah, yeah, I guess so. Alright.

What else is there? Well, one more, one more. One more. All right. If we're going to put a torture method on, what is the torture method? Game of Thrones is pretty brutal. The rat one? The rat one's pretty brutal.

- Yeah, I was like, you're gonna have to narrow it down there. - So many. - The rat one's pretty brutal. - Yeah, that one would suck. - The rat that claws your insides. - I don't think that's the worst one though. - I'd love to know which one you'd think is worse. - That's pretty fucking bad. I mean, that's basically getting eaten alive. - I think hung, drawn and quartered is worse than that. - I think you would die pretty quickly into that process. - Is that an instant death? - Yeah, I think you would die pretty quick. - I think you'd just die immediately from the shock, right? - I think you would die.

- Look, I'm not an expert. I've never done it. - It's not a hobby that we like to engage in here. - I'm not into it personally. - But let's bring it back. - Squid game, dang it's a squid game. - Dang it's a squid game. - Yeah, worst way to die is playing red light green light. - What other like famous torture methods are there? - What about like the one with like the one that the Japanese used to do with the bamboo?

That's just... Because that's like giga long. Do you die from that? I feel like you die from like... They did a... Die from infection. Yeah, most of them died from that. Like imagine like in real life just lying down there and just waiting for this plant to just pierce you. Yeah, yeah, I guess. That's a fucking horrible way to die. That's pretty bad. Yeah. But... But I feel there's a lot of them that are like that. I feel like most torture methods are already pretty bad. Yeah. Yeah.

My ex-wife. Love, painful death. Just kill me now. Please make it quick. The old ball and chain, huh? My third quarter.

- All right, let's just put the bamboo thing. - Sure. - Just as something. - Yeah, that just is like all encompassing of like terrible slow torture deaths. - All encompassing. - All encompassing. But that one is definitely terrible. - Just torture. - All right, there you go. All right, next one. - Oh no. - Three by three famous bald guys. - What the fuck? - Can you name nine bald guys? - Johnny Sands. - Go to him. He's in the middle.

The guy who plays the Spider-Man. He's John Simmons. Oh, John. Is that his name? John Simmons? John Simmons? No, yeah. I know who you're talking about. Spider-Man. I need to see his circumcised penis tomorrow morning. I want it on my desk. Are you talking about the Whiplash guy? That's him, right? Oh, that guy. Yeah, yeah. John Simmons, right? Yeah. Isn't it? I don't know. I could be mixing. You know what's also weird is that now that you're telling me to picture bald guys, I'm picturing them with and without hair. And I don't know which one's true.

- What do you mean? - Like when I'm picturing what I'm pretty sure is a bald guy. - 'Cause John Simmons. - He had hair. - He had hair in Spider-Man. - Yeah, he doesn't have hair anymore. - But he doesn't have hair in Whiplash. - Or anymore, I think. - Yeah. - I don't think he rocks hair anymore. I don't think he goes that way. - I don't know. - I'm not sure either. - I mean, but like, is he more known for being bald? - I don't think it matters. I think he is bald.

and he's goaded. - I mean, he is a famous bald guy. - Now I'm wondering how, like, I'm trying to picture someone and I'm like, are they bald or is that my imagination? - I mean, I guess he's bald. - Is John Cena bald now? - He's bald. - John Cena? - Yeah. - I don't know. - Is John Cena bald? - Do you know what I mean? - I think he's just like bus shaped. - Yeah, I think he's just got really short hair, right? - Like what's the most, what's the most, okay. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Literally just my imagination. - It's just the top cut. - He's always had like really short hair.

- What about Bruce Willis? - Yeah, I'm down. - He's a famous bald guy. - I'm down for Bruce Willis. - Okay, Bruce Willis, yeah. - Even though he had hair in Die Hard. - Everyone had hair at one point. - Yeah. - People aren't born bald. Well, they are, and then they become- - I don't know, man. Have you ever seen Johnny Sims with hair? - No, I haven't actually. - Dude was probably born bald. - Okay, JK Simmons, Johnny Sims. - Bruce Willis. - Bruce Willis. - Bruce Willis. - Who else is a bald man?

How many other bald men? - There's loads. - I just can't think of any right now. - The bloke down at the pub, Vin Diesel. - I'm down for Vin Diesel. - Do we like Vin Diesel? - I don't fuck with him, but I'm happy to put it on this 'cause I don't have a lot of ideas. - I like Vin Diesel. - 'Cause I was just like thinking, oh, Vin Diesel. When you said bald men, I was like Vin Diesel, The Rock. - The Rock. - The Rock kind of sucks. - Yeah, The Rock does kind of suck.

- I like Vin Diesel. - The Rock is just like a shadow of his former self. - I think Vin Diesel has had a couple of controversies though. - Has he? - I think so. - I don't know, man. At this point, I think all- I love that picture of Johnny. - God, look how blue his eyes are. - Can you search up bald man? - Look up famous bald man. - Look up famous bald man 'cause I'm drawing a blank right now.

Danny DeVito! Danny DeVito gotta be there. Terry Crews too. Patrick Stewart? Oh, Terry Crews, yeah. Oh, Samuel Jackson! Is technically bald. Fair enough. Shit, you're right. I'm down for Terry Crews. Yeah, Terry Crews. Everyone likes Terry Crews. Come on, Danny DeVito. I'm down for Danny DeVito. Danny DeVito, yeah. Gotta be Danny DeVito. Yeah, yeah. 100%. How could I forget? What a legend. Who else is bald? Is...

- No, Morgan Freeman's not bald, is he? - Sorry? - Morgan Freeman's not bald. - No. - No. - Who else is bald? Patrick Stewart, Pitbull. - Yeah, let's put Pitbull. - Mr. Worldwide. - Let's do it. - Yeah, let's put Pitbull. - Tonight. - Everyone loves to hate him, but everyone knows he's the goat.

Yeah, even looking at that list, I can't think of anyone more than just these six. I'll never fucking forget. I went to this bar in Japan. It was so like Japanese, really like fucking very like serious tatami mat only. And they're just blasting the entire Pitbull album the entire time. Every song I heard, Mr. Worldwide, Michael Jordan. I'm down. Michael Jordan. Yeah. Yeah. Michael Jordan. Yeah, for sure. I took that personal. Yeah.

- We don't have Samuel Jackson on here. - Oh yeah, put Samuel Jackson on there as well. - One more out of everyone. - I saw Charles Darwin on that list. - Did you see Charles Darwin? - I mean, I haven't seen the guy personally, so you know. - I mean, all the images show him as bald, so. - Charles Darwin then. - All right, put Charles Darwin. There we go. Damn. That was the quickest one we've ever done.

- Jesus Christ. I want, yeah. I wanna do a thing where I show these three by threes we made and be like, what do you think this is a three by three of? I just wanna see if anyone would be able to guess out of context. - What does LCK stand for? - LCK.

I'm fucking league pilled man. I saw this and I was like, - I read it and I was like, why is it taking so long to read it? - Yeah, I was like, gives you the, so it gives you the LCK. I'm like, what the fuck does that mean? - No, it gives you the ick. - I know, it gives you the ick. - It gives you the ick. What are the nine? - Nine icks. Chewing with your mouth open. - Yeah, how do you feel about, 'cause I do this. Well, I chew my mouth open, so if someone asks me a question, I'll cover my mouth and be like, no, no, no.

No, that's respectable. That's what you're supposed to do. I still feel bad even doing that. Wait, what do you feel bad doing this? Yeah, when I'm chewing on my mouth. Yeah, but it's better than seeing what you've been fucking chewing on. Especially if I'm also eating. That's an ick. Chewing with your mouth open, that's my biggest ick. Chewing with your mouth open.

People who wear band t-shirts of bands that they don't even fucking know. - That's just a you thing, Joey. - Where did you get that picture from? - Oh, that's gross. - Can we change the picture? - Jesus Christ. - It actually looks like he's shoveling like cholera in his mouth. Can we change this? There we go. - There we go, that's better. - It's just eating, whatever.

- No, Joey, that's such a fucking joke. - That's a me ick. - That is the most Joey thing. - That is a me ick. - You know what, I don't know if this is an ick. I mean, this is like a multiple ick, but I guess someone who like, no, I don't think it's a good enough one. - People who are on their fucking phone while watching a movie. - Yeah, that's fair. - That's my- - Is that an ick or is that just like a pet peeve? - I think pet peeve. - Yeah, that's not like- - What's the difference? - Yeah, can we Google this? What's the difference? - What's the difference between an ick and a pet peeve? - I'm curious.

- I thought ik was more- - Ik is like the upgraded version of pet peeve. - Because I don't, you know, there are some things in like, I guess I always thought like ik was just like ew. - I think- - Brother ew. - No, ik is definitely has been like commandeered to mean like any kind of off putting trait. - Yeah, something that makes you like angry.

- I think it's normally in relationship terms. I could be wrong, but I always was to believe Ick was more relationship. - So something that like grinds your gears basically. - I guess you can't say grinds your gears. We sound like we're 50 years old. - So it's just the modern day version of that. - It's the Gen Z version of grind your gears. - Okay. - I think I'll always normally in most situations I'll pay, but I hate it when they're never offered to pay.

I'm like, I'm going to pay even if you offer. I just, 'cause I just want that. - The sentiments. - I'm like, I don't offer to pay for anything where you're with that one mate that just never wants to pay for anything. You're like, come on, man. - Okay, okay. And they only reluctantly pay after you're like, hey, we can split this, right? - 'Cause I hate being like, by the way, man, you owe me like a hundred bucks. - Yeah, right. - 'Cause I'm like, you should, I hate having to be like the fucking, the debt collector in the friend group. I'm like, brother, can you just, you know what I mean?

- You know what I mean? Like I don't- - Just once. - I don't keep track of like who's bought what, but I'm like, come on, just fucking. - Yeah, yeah, no, I agree with that. - Just feel like shitty when you're the guy that's always like, "I'll pay." - Yeah, yeah, yeah. We can throw that on. - Okay, throw that on. - What's another ick? - Does this, okay. Can I get the definition of an ick since I'm clearly out of touch here?

- Pet peeve. It literally just said pet peeve. - And it is not just new of like, I guess relationships or, you know. - I think it mostly relationships what I understood, but I. - An unpleasant, no, that's not it. - Yeah, 'cause that's what I thought. - A feeling of disgust that arises towards a love interest. - Yeah, okay, see. - A love interest. - Yeah, it's normally with a partner. - Okay, normally with a partner. - An ick that a partner can do. - So not your mates?

Okay, would you still put this this shirt one? Um, if you're I mean, I'd be like bruh stop not in front of me That's that's a me problem, yeah Trying to remember

- If that is the case, then I guess, oh, I don't know. What you mentioned with like someone look when you're trying to show them something and they're looking at their phone, if they do that every time then yeah, but I,

Like it doesn't matter what movie it is, even if it's one that they were like, yeah, let's watch it. And then they just halfway through, they just like start flipping it around. - Yeah, that's definitely an act. - Yeah, I'm like, bro, you're the one that recommended we watch this movie. Why am I the one concentrating on it and you're just like on your phone? - I don't mind phone time. I'm down for phone time. I love phone time. - Yeah, can you not wait a couple of hours? - You gotta be respectful, I think. - I don't know how many fucking messages you're getting, but it can wait after the movie. - I'm happy to do that. - Yeah, so put that on.

I think that's one we can all relate to. - Me personally, having a tweet or post about literally everything.

- Yeah, just like oversharing on the internet. - Just oversharing. - Someone who's terminally online, right? - Well, I mean, I'm terminally online, but like I don't fucking post like what I- - There's a difference between being terminally online as like a passive, like, you know, participant. - When I'm hanging with someone, the first immediate thing is like, let's take a picture. I'm like, I'm okay with that. And they're like, I'm gonna post it right now. I'm like, okay. - Nah. - I like the vibe of let's wait till we're all done tonight. - Yeah, do it when you get back home. - And then tomorrow morning we can all be like, what a great night. - Do it on the Uber home, not right now.

- Okay, yeah, yeah. - Oversharing. - Oversharing on the internet. - Or even just someone who has just like to take a picture of like every moment of everything of every event that we're doing. - Well, yeah, I don't mind taking pictures 'cause it's- - Yeah, I don't mind taking pictures either. - I think we're all the same where we don't take pictures and we need someone else to do it. - Yeah. - But yeah, like I think immediately oversharing and taking pictures of every little instance is fine. - Yeah, definitely. - Which I think is like, it's kind of similar, right? - What's another Rick?

- Chewing with your mouth open. That's why I thought it was just things like, ugh. - Honestly, being late. Being late, that's a nick for me. - Yeah, it's a nick for me. - Couldn't be me. - Who gone is always fucking late. - Couldn't be me. - And if I knew that about gone, friendship would never have kicked off, tell you that much. - Couldn't be me. - I hate people who are late, but most importantly,

I don't know if you do the song and dance when I'm late. I'm like apologizing profusely on my way to being late. When they just rock up 15 minutes late and they don't say anything. I'm like, dude. The moment I know I am late, I'm immediately texting them and being like, sorry, I'm going to be late. Because if they're like, if there's some plans waiting, they can at least explain or like they can get it set up when people just rock up 15 minutes late. Don't say anything. Don't apologize. I'm like, well, you're so fucking considerate. Right.

- To be fair, in Garnt's defense, he does sometimes tell us. - No, I'm just fucking with you. - He does tell us. He will be like, "I will be late." - I'm on time in Southeast Asia. That's just- - So can we put being late on there? - Yeah, being late. - Okay, so is this an ick or a pet peeve? I've gone blank. - Okay, also- - I had something, oh my God. - Also, can I ask what I'm thinking? What is the acceptable amount of time to be late?

Like where you don't have to, I will, I think-

- In Japan, it's stressful, right? 'Cause Japan, if you're over five minutes, you absolutely have to like tell them everything and be like, you know. In America, I feel like it's 15 where they're like, it's give or take, whatever man, no worries. - No, I think in America, it's like fucking- - Half an hour. - Yeah, half an hour. - It's crazy. - Sometimes it's like an hour. - My personal, if you're over 10 minutes late, you gotta fucking let me know. - Yeah, for me, like the limit is like 10, 20 minutes. - I always thought like 15 for me. - All right, we're all different. - Yeah. - Now we know where we stand, guys.

- It's fine, I'm never late. - All right, next time I think I'm gonna be 10 minutes late. - 10 minutes, you gotta fucking tell me. - Because sometimes it's like 15 minutes. - 'Cause there's nothing, especially like in a restaurant, it's the worst when the waiters come over, like, "Everything okay?" - Yeah, so many times. My fucking Japanese ass is always like 10 minutes early. So I'm always the one that's like, "Oh, sorry, my friends are late."

Yeah. And you're like, no, it's okay. Just water for now. And they're like, you want to order, you know, get started. And then when they're like 20 minutes late, I'm just like, motherfucker, I've been here for 30 goddamn minutes. Dude, Chris shafted me one time. He turned up like an hour late and the whole time he's live texting me about how bad this taxi driver is. And I'm like, I don't care how bad this taxi driver is. Just get your ass here. Just shut the fuck up and get here. I don't care. He's like writing me a sonnet about how bad this taxi driver is. I'm like, Chris, you should have gotten there 30 minutes earlier. Exactly. I'm buying it.

And the guy kept feeling sorry for me. He like felt so bad for me, the guy. And I was like, I don't give a, don't feel bad for me. Don't feel bad for me. Now I feel like I'm being stood up. - Be angry with me. - Yeah, be angry with me. Give me a free yakitori. - So I don't know if this is like a pet peeve or an ache, but like someone, like let's say someone who can't make a decision, right? But they know exactly, but they leave you to make the decision. But then when you make a decision, they're like, I don't want that. So let's,

- I'm not gonna say it. I feel like I know what you're thinking. - It's okay to name names, Joey. We all know what you're thinking. - Joey just gave me like the most fucking- - The trauma, look at trauma.

I saw like a such a like vivid memory. They're like, what should we do for dinner? As they're laying the bad track, they're like, what should we do for dinner, honey? What should we do for dinner? It's like, they already have decided what they wanted. They already knew three business days ago. No, see, I use one trick that I saw on TikTok that I've tried out a couple of times with my partner and it's worked

- You can say her name here, say Joey. - Joey was like, his life flashed before his eyes. Where it's just like, you know, 'cause I mean, she doesn't do this all the time to be fair, but there are a lot of times where she does it. So now I use this trick where I'm just like, hey honey,

Guess what we're going to have for dinner tonight. And then, you know, usually she's like, you know, she'll say something like, oh my God, I'll be going to a blank. And I'm like, yes, you got it. Immediately makes the decision.

- That's a really good trick to use. - I do the, when someone can't decide, I give them the options. - Right. - I'm like, I do either, if they're the one suggesting, I'm like, 'cause you'll say, it's the worst when they're like, "Yeah, I'm down for whatever." - Yeah. - Indian. "No, I'm not Indian." I'm like, "So you're not down for whatever." You already had a predetermined list of which ones you are not down for. - Yes. - If you'd given me that list, I could have made the decision. - Right. - 'Cause if you just said like Thai, burgers,

I would have picked one. You know what I mean? So I hate it when they clearly know roughly what they want and I have to sit here like guess fucking who? Is it made by a bald man? European in nature. Come on man, fucking help me out. - To be completely honest and fair, I also do this as well. There are so many times where I'm like, oh, let's go to dinner and then Aki's like, all right, what do you want? And I was like, oh, I don't know, you pick. And then she lists off three things and I'm like, nah.

You say no to three? I'm not innocent either in this instance. So I just want to make that perfectly clear. I've done this before. I will whip the I'm down for whatever. And I know that it's often as like, I'm trying to say it as you can pick whatever you want. But I know that most of the time it just stresses people out.

Cause I'm like, no, I don't know. Yeah. I have a bad habit of doing that. Cause I am also indecisive in that sense. So I, you know, I get it, you know, I think everyone must be guilty of this at least like once or twice in their life. Cause sometimes you don't, sometimes you don't know what you're in the mood for, but then when something names, someone named someone, you're like, Oh yeah, we'll go for that.

- I'm gonna go for that. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - No, no, that sounds great. - For sure, for sure. - But if it happens too often, I'm like, come on. - If it happens every single time. - I don't know how we put that as an image. - Just confusion. - Yeah, just confusion. - Okay. Oh, he's got it, there we go. - There we go, perfect. - Perfect image. - Three more icks. - You got it. - Three more icks. - Man, I don't know, eh? - Indecisiveness. I think, I mean, it's so generic, but.

- I don't know, unhygienic. - That's just basic, right? - You'd be surprised sometimes, I think. Some people, it's definitely different levels. 'Cause a lot of the time hygiene can be quite personal. And then you kind of sometimes, you know. - Some people view hygiene as a suggestion. - As optional.

- Yeah, I mean, I guess, especially if they don't- - They're like, "Oh, you don't shower every day, Connor." I'm like, "Come on, come to fuck with me. You know what I mean. You know damn fucking well what I mean." - We've established he likes the smell of his own sweat. - It's like sometimes if they just don't clean up after themselves. They leave you to do all the work and-

I had a roommate call them out. They used to leave their plates and bowls in their room and it would drive me insane. I used to have to go in their room and they would get annoyed at me for going in the room. And I'm like, half the fucking cup, the porcelain in the UK is in your room. I go in there and I'd be like, look at the hall, like a fucking vlogger. I'd be like five cups, seven plates,

- Three empty boxes. What are we doing here? - I opened up the pantry, it's just empty. - I was like, I have no cups left. I need to clean the cups. - Yeah. I think that's one we can all agree on. Not cleaning up after yourself. - I have a pretty big ache. - Go on. - Someone who, okay. Obviously it's like a vibe check, right? Sometimes, you know, you go out with mates and some people pay more than others, right? - Yeah.

It fucking... It fucking...

I was going to say ground my gears, but I fucking hate it when you have that one person who, when they owe you something, it's like pulling teeth to like get them to pay. But as soon as you owe them like a fiver, they're like, yo, can you pay it back immediately? You know what I mean? I guess it's kind of similar to the one that I said earlier, I guess. Yeah. Same vein, I felt like. Okay, okay, yeah, yeah. I know what you mean. It's the worst. They're like number one loan shark when it's your turn. Yeah.

- And they'll like text you two days later being like, "By the way, you still owe me that tenner." - And I'm like, "Okay, I'll get it paid to you in like a month." - Yeah, send me your PayPal. - Yeah, send me your PayPal, God, okay. - Yeah, I hate that shit. - I guess that's in the same vein. - I guess that's, I don't know. I don't have any more explosive. - I had one and I fucking forgot it. - Somebody who's stinky. - Nah, stinky man. - I mean, I don't like anyone who's stinky.

I don't know, whenever someone makes food and I see someone like not finish their plate, it breaks my heart. - Yeah. - Nah, that's not an ache. - Yeah, that's an ache for me.

- 'Cause okay, if we're talking about partners, that's like an excuse to be like, "Give me that, all right, all right." - No, no, no, that's fine. - Are you gonna have that? - Yeah, I guess so. - Yeah. - But sometimes I feel bad, I'm like, "Oh, you're kidding me." - If it's a mate, okay, but if it's a partner, that's actually a good thing, 'cause that means you have more. - Yeah, free food. - That is like more free food for us, but if it's a friend, then it's an equal. - People who floss, can't stand them.

Like, their teeth? Yeah. Or just, like, the dance. Flossing their teeth. Oh, flossing their teeth. It's not real. It's a big dentistry. Do you know anyone who flosses their teeth? Like, regularly? Yeah. Why? Because it's, like, a thing that Americans do. I guess so. And dentists, I guess. Have you ever flossed your teeth? No. Yeah, me neither. I hate doing it. I hate the feeling. Yeah. I feel like I'm about to, like, pull my own fucking teeth out. I hate it. Every time I do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I hate it when they do it to me, the dentist. I hate that shit. I got an ache.

Someone who is...

of trying new things. And I say this in the context of, if you're- - Everything's a no. - Yeah, yeah. If you are trying a new cuisine or something and someone's like, "Oh, do you want to try this thing?" They're like, "No." - Oh dude, picky eaters are the worst. - Oh, picky eaters. - Dude, picky eaters are the fucking worst. But also that one too. People who don't want to try anything new and they're also picky eaters. There's nothing more depressing than when someone comes to Japan and they're like, "I don't eat fish." And I'm like,

- It's like, what have you had all week? - If you're allergic to fish, obviously. I'm not gonna make you fucking, but somebody's like, I just don't like fish. And I know there's people who are watching this podcast who are like this and they feel like they have a good reason. I don't care. - I don't care. - I didn't fuck with fish that much before I came here. You just have to try it. You're a grown ass adult. You gotta try new flavors. - If you've tried it and you still don't like it, then fine. You try it and you don't like it, that's cool. - But when you come to a new country,

- Try it out. - There's a difference I think between like picky eaters and you know, like knowing what kind of like food you like and people who are incapable of just like even giving something a chance. - A go, yeah. - A chance. - I hate that shit. - Just like give it a chance. If you don't fuck with it, then you know. Especially if it's something new. - Yeah, but at least you can say you tried it out and you don't like it and that's cool. There you go. - Yeah, picky eaters for sure. - The worst thing I hate about picky eaters, I hate it when they do this, when they smell it.

when they're like, it's poisonous. They go like, you know what I mean? It's the worst. I hate it. It's so insulting. - Yeah. - To like, when you're especially like, fuck, I've gone to a sushi restaurant where someone did it and the chef looked at me in horror. He's like, do you think I would serve you something poisonous or rotten?

It's so insulting. - It's like, this is an apothecary diary, motherfucker. We're not trying to poison you. - Like I get it like when you smell the food, but like when you like pull it up and like you're like. - Yeah, they smell like it's a science experiment. - I hate it. I hate it so much. - Yeah, don't do that please. Okay. Last, how many eggs do we have left? - We have, could be it. - Okay. - Let's try to throw some bonus round. - Okay. - Okay.

I like a little bit of tea. You know, I like the tea every now and again. But when you're with someone and the only thing they are capable of doing is just gossiping. Oh, yeah. Oh, I thought you were talking about actual tea. I know, I know, I know. I was getting confused. I was getting confused. Like, what? You know, I like to partake in the tea. Shit stirrers? Huh? Shit stirrers? Shit stirrers. Someone who constantly, constantly just has to gossip. Like, life depends on it. Yeah. Especially when it's like, bro, we didn't ask.

- Like, why are you talking about this? This is not the vibe. Yeah, shit stirrers for sure. What was the other one we had? I swear we had one more. - With picky eaters, we had people who are reluctant to try new things. - Oh, reliant, yeah. - That's the food one. - Also people who like when you show them something new, they like insta give up. They're like, nah, same for me. I hate this.

I hate it when they do this. - No, not giving it a proper go. - Yeah, they're just like, "No, it's not for me." I'm like, "You didn't even fucking, you didn't try." - You've watched it for 20 seconds. - If someone comes to me and is like really earnest about like, "I really like this thing." I think like if I really like, I love them, I would definitely try. Even if I hated it, I would like give it a shot and try my best. - At least show that you're putting in the effort to try to understand it. You know what I mean? - Yeah, 'cause I feel like there's nothing like,

there's no greater feeling than getting someone into something they said they didn't like or they didn't think that they, or they had never experienced before. For sure. Yeah. And so, you know, it's always so like, it always really like hurts when you're somebody like, I'm really passionate about this thing and they're like, no.

- Yeah. - I don't like it. - It's because you've never tried heroin, doesn't mean it's not good. - Exactly, exactly. - If you honestly were like Connor, love heroin, it's a big part of my life, I'd be like, okay. - It's like, all right, benefit of the doubt. - I'll give it a good old go then. - I'll try it, I guess. - All right, there you go, there's a race. - All right, just one line. - It can't hurt. - All right, last one. - Okay. - Things that could give you instant nostalgia.

- Instant nostalgia. - I'm sort of like Ratatouille moment. Like that level of like fucking nostalgia. - Yeah. - Oh man. - When you think of like- - Mom's cooking. Mom's cooking, man. Mom's- - I mean, that's a safe one. - So basic, Garnt. - It is basic, but we're talking about instant nostalgia. - I'm down. I'm down. I'm just letting you know it's basic. - I'm fine having this one basic thing. It's the first thing that came to my mind. - I mean, we all agree on it. - Yeah.

- All right, mom's cooking. - I would say Pokemon cards, but Joey still hasn't left. - Yeah. If anything, I'm all into that right now. - It's not nostalgia for Joey. - It's not nostalgia for me. - That's right now. - I mean, certain Pokemon cards are nostalgic for me.

- Honestly, like video game system startup sounds. - Ooh, like PlayStation 1? - PlayStation, GameCube, Nintendo Game Boy. - Okay, what is the goaded video game startup sound? - I think the most goaded, but it's probably, I think if we were critically analyzing, that's the best one. But I think from a pure nostalgia, it's gotta be the PS2.

- Everyone had the PS2. - I didn't have the PS2. - That's a fucking lie. - Was it the one where it's like, - And then, oh God. - Listen to this shit. - I know it, I've played PS2, but my friend had a PS2. - You are the only person on earth who hasn't touched a PS2, right? - No, no, I've touched a PS2. I never had one. - Yeah. Oh, do you know what this sound reminds me of?

- This actually doesn't give me, this gives me anxiety, the sound. Do you know why? - 'Cause the disc would break. The disc would always fucking break. - This is the sound of your prayers when you're like, please work, please work, please work. - How about the Game Boy Advanced startup sound? - Oh my God. - It was like Game Boy, it's so fucking good.

- That's the goat. That's the goat. - That one was the goat. - A million percent that's the goat. Hell yeah. Yeah, not for sure. - I think the Game Boy or the Game Cube. - Game Boy, Game Cube. - Game Boy probably just 'cause man, you put so many fucking hours into this shit. - Oh my God, yeah. Game Boy for sure.

- I don't know, oh man, I'm thinking of like, see this is hard, right? Because we grew up in three completely separate countries. - Crack cocaine. - What? - Sorry. - We grew up in three completely different countries and cultures, right? So I feel like the stuff we grew up with is gonna be like slightly different. - Yeah, but I think there's some middle ground maybe we can have. - Yeah, I'm just trying to think like, what's like a toy or like any kind of like something like that, that's not like a video game that you grew up with that like emits a sound?

that you'd seen it. 'Cause like the thing, the first thing I'm thinking of, which is so dumb, but it gives me mad nostalgia is like, you know those tubes that go like, ew, ew? - No, that's not enough. - No. - Right, you didn't have that, right? - I had it, but not instant nostalgia. If anything, it would be those fucking squishy bags. - Which ones? - You know the bags where you'd fucking squish and you just like punch the, like, you know, they're like sacks.

- What? - You don't know these? - No, I don't. - Like sack toy, like a jelly sack toy kid. - Jelly sack toy? - I don't know what you'd call this. - These things. - Oh yeah. - Yes. - You were just about fucking squishing, poking. - I didn't have this. - You definitely did. - This is the one where like as a kid, you're like, I'm gonna, it was like a competition to see who could grip at the hardest without like, like slipping out of your hand, right? - Okay, Garth didn't feel it. - I didn't feel that one. - Damn, all right. - What about,

That first, the first keyboard notes from Welcome to the Black Parade.

- The G5, the elusive G5. - No, no, no. - Come on man. That's like an entire generation, man. - Fine. - You just hear that and you're just like. - I'm not even the biggest MC off-hand, that's nostalgic. - Okay fine, fine. Put it on, put it on. - You can summon an entire generation. - Just put the Black Parade album cover on. - Oh man, what else is there? I feel like we're,

- Wait, are these sounds or just things? - Just things, instant nostalgia. - Instant nostalgia. - Live leak overlay. - The live leak logo? - Sorry, no, sorry. I meant Hyperchem 2. - Oh, the Hyperchem 2. - Unregistered Hyperchem 2 overlay. - I mean, yeah, that hits me right in the feels. - Whenever I see anything with that, I'm like, it fucking takes me back. It takes me back so much.

Seeing the fucking unregistered hypercam too. Yeah, that is that is nostalgia. Or that fucking sound to all the YouTube videos that when they would start them up with the notepad and they'd be like today we're gonna learn about and they would have that It's it's it's all like the cod intros for me. It's just uh, no, no, you know the one uh type in YouTube Uh, oh youtube notepad Uh music. This is just windows movie maker. Wait, wait

No, wait, what? That's every time we touch. Yeah, that's, that's, that's every time we touch. Oh yeah, man. That was, yeah. Like those ones. Yeah. The golden era of YouTube music. Yeah. This one. I remember this. They always had the same fucking music. This one. Oh yeah. I remember this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I remember that. Fucking music. Oh my God. And the unregistered hypercam too and the thing. Okay. Yeah. No, you guys have to be nostalgic about it. It's all good. I'm nostalgic about unregistered hypercam too. Yeah. That's,

- That for me. Okay, so. - Skype, Skype. - Yeah, the Skype sound. - Okay, the Skype call sound. - Skype call sound or the- - Golden Age of the Internet. - Yeah, Skype call sound or the- - MSN Poke. - MSN Poke sound. - I think the Skype one was better.

- Skype? - Yeah. - That was like the first time you had to fucking call your friends. - Yeah, that's true. - Yeah. - I feel like- - This is the Skype sound. - Can we just hear the Skype sound? Let's just test, let's just test. - Oh, they aren't gone, I can do it for you. - I know you can do it, Joey. - Okay. - I still hear that by the way with my parents.

- You know what? I had a thought just now when I saw it. I was like, I think the reason why that we're just a generation a bit more social is that when the webcam stuff came out, we didn't fucking hesitate to get on a fucking webcam and just sit there for hours and talk to each other on a webcam. Whereas now it's like, I'd rather cut my penis off than get on a video call.

- It's like voice isn't off. - Yeah, you know what I mean? Like I will do everything in my power not to turn that camera off. - Back in the day, you couldn't have a Skype call without the webcam on. - Yeah. - It was just kind of like you just did it. 'Cause it was so fucking cool and novel that like you could have a camera and you were just so used to talking to people via webcam. - Totally, totally. - I don't know why this reminded me of this 'cause I'm going back to fucking pet peeves. Just on a tangent, people who leave voice messages,

- How do you feel about that? - Like on the phone? - I mean, they're kind of obsolete now. - No, no, no, no, no. Like have you ever, have you ever- - Yeah, I know what you mean. - Like modern day. - Like instead of a text, it's a voice message? - It's very nothing problem. - In a chat, they will leave a voice message. It's not like an ick, it's just like- - Oh, I like doing voice messages. - No, I love that shit. - You like that shit? - Yeah. - Fuck messages, 'cause messages you fucking, dude, you have to like,

Like if it's a long message, I'm like, why don't you send me a voice message or call me, man? It's so long to read. I used to not like that, but I've come around now where I think it's just more efficient. I don't think it is. I think it is more efficient and it gets across intent better, I think. Because sometimes I feel like emotion can be lost in text. You can lose the nuance in a text message. Sometimes it's just like I open a voice message and it's just like...

- So, yeah. So what I wanna say is, yeah, I was thinking and I was just like, bro. - I mean, to be fair, 90% of the voice messages that like I receive or I send to people is just us making stupid sounds. - Okay. - It's just like, "Boy, oh!" - 'Cause like, I'm in the mindset of just like, text, get me all the information and get it.

get it in a way I can access easily or just call me. I like calling. - Yeah, I call him too. - Yeah, yeah. - The easiest way now is to just call. - Yeah, all right. Side tangent. The dial-up sound. - I don't know. - I mean, I had it, but I don't feel great about it. - Okay. - The AOL sound you mean? - AOL, yeah. - Yeah, kind of. - If Connor's not. - Yeah. - I just feel like I don't look back at that fondly.

- It's trauma. - I just think my mom being like, "Get off, I have to make a phone call." - Yeah, yeah, yeah, true. - While I'm like trying to sign up to like Digimon World Online and I'm trying to get through the first stage. - Okay, what about the fucking RuneScape title music? - Oh my God, yes. - RuneScape title, unfortunately I don't know. - Can we play it? - Can we play it just so people hear it? - Play the OG RuneScape title music. - So good, bro. - Like the first thing you hear when you're logging in.

- So good. So good. - This is so nostalgic for me. - So good. - Oh, fucking national anthem of millennials right here. Yeah, this, oh my God. - So good. - That flashback to all that time in RuneScape, bro. - I feel sad that I missed the RuneScape hype. I knew friends that played this, but- - It was the fucking peak being online. - It was so good. So good. Fuck, this makes me wanna play RuneScape again, dude. - It was so sick 'cause like you and your friends would all maybe play RuneScape and like you would just talk

but like you probably were never doing the same shit. - No. - And it was kind of fun 'cause whenever you did all like team back up, it was like the fucking Avengers. - Yeah. - 'Cause you would be like, all right, I've like, 'cause I was a wood cutting fiend. That was what I did. Whereas my boys loved fishing. - I was fishing. - And like, they were like, they were farming lobsters on that Cove after the mountain pass. They would sit there all day. And whereas I was in the grand exchange fucking hitting those yew trees, fighting off people. And that's where I had to spend like most of my days. - Hell yeah.

And it was just like so beautiful about it. It was such a fucking golden time to be alive. - Yeah, it was the best time to be a child. - And it's before MMOs got insanely complicated. You could just play that on the biggest piece of shit laptop and it was very easy to keep track of everything. It was just great. It was amazing. - Totally, totally. - If you had to pick a song, what would it be? - Like a pop song? - Any song. Any song where you hear it and you're just like,

- The fucking cha cha slide brings back like fucking nostalgic nightmares. It is instant nostalgia, but I hate it. - Is it? Yeah, because like to me, I just get reminded of memes. 'Cause I didn't really like- - Did you not have that, they always play it at like the school disco? - No, not really. - Like school dance, they always fucking play it?

- I don't think so. I don't remember playing in the school discos. - They always fucking played the Chacha Skies in the UK. - Really? - Yeah, they don't play it in your school? - Maybe they did, maybe they didn't. - Oh, fair enough. - For us it was always like something like, now that I think about, now that looking back to it is like, that wasn't appropriate for a year five disco. Like they're playing like fucking sexy back and I'm like, that's- - Yeah, they play that too. - Yeah, I have more of a- - Than like Cotton Eye Joe? - Yeah, or Cotton Eye Joe. - Well that's back now.

- It isn't? - There's a lot of memes. - Hell yeah. - I don't know what was popular in like, you know, the Australian scene. But like there are two songs that got played at every bar, every club, everywhere you go drinking in university time. And it is Mr. Brightside and...

- Kings of Leon, Sex on Fire. - Oh, I mean, Kings of Leon and Australian. - I hear those songs and it just brings me back to like- - There's no nostalgia for that though. - Well, Kings of Leon, they're Australian. So yeah, it was fucking everywhere. - It's gonna be hard to find the last four we need here. - Yeah, I think a song is difficult because, you know, depending on where you were, it's like completely different. - Yeah. - You know? - Actually, you know what? What about the fucking,

Oh, I got the song. What? Fucking Soldier Boy. No, I was going to say, I was going to say, what was that song from Newgrounds? The like ultimate battle song? Oh, the ultimate showdown of ultimate history? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, yeah, that one. We have to put that on. Just that animation in general. Yeah. Like that song. Fuck, I remember everyone fucking learning that in my school. Oh yeah, everyone learned it. It's the first rap song any child learned. Yeah, put that on.

- Yeah, come on. - Or like fucking, no, no, no. - I mean, I hated it, but it's nostalgic as fuck. - I don't feel nostalgic when I hear something. - Apple bottom jeans. - That one as well. - I actually feel nostalgic. - Yeah, that one as well. - The whole club looking at her. - She hit the floor. Next thing you know. - Oh my God.

- It's fucking awful dude. - Every fucking school disco played that. - Just showing your age. Saturday morning cartoons. - Yeah, but what's like, which one? - Just like in general, like cartoons on weekends. All of above. - All of them? - Like it's like, which Saturday morning cartoon makes you feel nostalgic though? - Ed and Eddie. - If I see any of them, Ed and Eddie, if I see like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. - Samurai Jack. - Samurai Jack, oh my God. - Johnny Bravo. - All of them bro. - It's the golden age of content network. - It's just like when cartoons are peak.

Powerpuff Girls, fucking Dex's Lab. - All right. - That one's hard, 'cause they're all kind of encompassing. I mean, we can just say Cartoon Network. - Cartoon Network. - Yeah, just put the Cartoon Network line on. - I think Recess was just before that, I guess. - They had that for like fucking forever. - They did reruns for a while. - Oh, okay. - Recess was still around when I was like leaving high school. - Okay, okay. Two more. - Two more. - Honestly?

- Whenever you went to a fast food place and they had like a fucking play park. - Yes. - The McDonald's play park. - The McDonald's when they had like the fucking pipe system. Bro. I know there's still a couple around, but it used to be like a given that you would have one. - I mean, that's when like McDonald's- - That was peak McDonald's. - Yeah, that's when McDonald's looked like a theme park. - And then sometimes even they would have like, I know it was super rad, but they might have like video games there as well. - Oh yeah.

- The one store that might have like a video game system. - Yeah, yeah. I remember my local one had a GameCube that you could play. - That's so fucking sick. - Yeah. - Yeah, McDonald's play your pants. - Oh shit. One more, one more. - The Nokia 3310. - I'm down. Asking my dad if I could play Snake on his phone. - Yeah. - My mom had a little snake. - Just don't drain the battery, son. - I gotta make five phone calls later.

- Yeah, the Nokia snake. - And good memes. - Good memes. - Sit around, but if I see one in real life, someone has one in real life, I'd be like, "No fucking way!" - That was the peak of engineering back in the day. It still is. - I think you can still use it as a phone too.

- Yeah, probably. - Probably. - Oh my God, that's green dude. - Oh my God, I missed that shit. All right, well, there you go. That's our three by three for instant nostalgia, which unless you are between the ages of 25 and 35, you'll be like, what the fuck? - Yeah, any Gen Zers, you probably would have something very, very different than this. - All we're gonna say Gen Zers is that we had a better childhood than you, so.

But I think that's it for three by threes for now. And hey, let us know what our three by threes were like for this episode. We have plenty more prompts. So if you guys want to see a part two of this, we can do another one. But hey, look at all these patrons. Let us know what your personal three by threes were for any of the themes that we said. And hey, if you are a patron, not only will you be supporting the show, but you get to check out weekly exclusive patron content. And we have one that you guys can go check out

Right after this one. But hey, if you want to support the show in the process, as well as check out all the exclusive Patreon stuff, then head on over to patreon.com slash Trash Taste. Also follow us on Twitter. Send us some memes on the subreddit. And if I hate our face, listen to us on Spotify. We will see you guys next week. Bye!

This podcast is brought to you by Aura. Imagine waking up to find your bank account drained, bills for loans you never took out, a warrant for your arrest, all because someone committed a crime in your name. It sounds like a nightmare, but for millions of people each year, it's reality. And here's the scariest part. By the time companies tell you your data was stolen, it's already been nearly a year, 277 days.

That's how long, on average, hackers have to use your social security number, open accounts, take out loans, and destroy your credit. Before you even know, you've been exposed. By the time you get that breach notification email, the damage is done. Your identity, stolen. Your financial future, at risk. And the company that lost your data, they'll just apologize and move on. Hackers aren't waiting. Why are you?

This can all sound really scary, which is why I'm so glad we're partnering with Aura. Hackers don't wait, so why should you? Aura monitors the dark web 24-7 for your phone number, email, and social security number. Because the moment they show up for sale, criminals are ready to use them. If Aura detects your info, you'll get an instant alert, so you can act before the damage is done.

What if your identity is already stolen? Criminals can take out loans, max out credit cards, and banish. That's why Aura provides up to $5 million in identity theft insurance and a U.S.-based fraud resolution team that works around the clock to shut down fraud fast and get your life back on track.

Your personal data is a goldmine for hackers and Aura helps lock it down. With a VPN for private browsing, Data Broker opts out to stop companies from selling your info and a password manager to help secure your accounts. Aura gives you the tools to fight back.

For a limited time, Aura is offering our listeners a 14-day trial plus a check of your data to see if your personal information has been leaked online. All for free when you visit Aura.com slash defense. That's Aura.com slash defense to sign up for a 14-day free trial and start protecting you and your loved ones.

That's A-U-R-A dot com slash defense. Certain terms apply, so be sure to check the site for details.