We Played the Most Cursed ℌệ𝔫𝔱ằ𝔦 Games and Regret it | Trash Taste #256
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- Hello and welcome to another episode of Trash Taste. I'm your host for today, Gantz. Join me once again are the boys. - Welcome. - Hey. - And- - How'd you get dressed up for this one? - Gentlemen, porn.

which is going to be the topic of today's podcast. - There's such a strong P. - Porn. - Okay. - Full lips back. - Look, porn. - I was dreading this one. I'm not gonna lie. - Me too. - Me too. - I think we all were. - Oh God. - This was an episode that our producers had cooked up for us for a while. - Yep.

- We were supposed to film this show like a month ago. - We have talked about our fair share of goonery on this podcast. We talk about animation, about the reading of the goonery. But there was one frontier we had yet to all of us explore, which is the game goonery. Literal like, you know, we've all seen the websites where it's like try not to nut in five seconds, play this game. And we thought, all right,

- Let's see. - How bad could it be? So we had a list of some random goon games. Some of them are certified hood classics. Some of them are just random stuff that our producers found on Steam. - Yeah, I don't wanna ask how they found some of these by the way. - Yeah. - So we have a couple of new ground games, couple of modern games.

And we basically try to see how deep the rabbit hole would go. Now, I think when we think, you know, hentai games, gunin games, whatever, a lot of people will probably think about some classics that might have been like memed or like spread around. What are some classics, Scott? What are some classic gunin games? Because I can't think of any. I don't know. What is a classic gunin game? Like Huniepop, I guess, was like a thing. I wouldn't even consider that, man.

- I did a full place roll out of my channel. - Is it a Gooner game? I thought it was a game that was for Gooners. - What is the difference Connor? What is the difference? - I wanna stress there was a very big difference between games for Gooners and Gooning games. I'm sorry for using the word Goon so much. We are desperately trying to get this video not- - Do you know what Honey Pop is about? - Yeah, I know you fuck them. I said like, I don't know what sex you do.

- You have intercourse. - I heard the pee pee goes in hell. - I mean, it's the best way I can describe it is somebody who was really obsessed with Candy Crush was like, "Hey, what if every time I completed a level of Candy Crush, I get to goon?" - Yeah. - That's Honeypot. - Yeah. - Right. Oh, so it was a goon game. - It's a goon game. - Right, right. - Except with a puzzle mechanic to it. - 'Cause like we played one here, which we'll talk about later, Love in Deep Space, which is, I don't think,

is a gooner game. It is a, no, I forgot my own definitions now. - It is a game for gooners. - It is a game for gooners, not a gooning game. - They're not the same. - Some of these were like, they were handless experience. And some of them were you had to tap the screen a lot, which I, you know what I mean? So I think we tried to play mostly games that were literally games intended for you to bust nuts while playing. - Yes. - Absolutely, yeah. - And my God, was it not fun.

- I think that we've, I've finally discovered the final boss of "Gooning" that I can't get behind. Like I can't get behind this game. - It's hard to defend. - Yeah, it is very hard. 'Cause I think some of like the more classic ones are just basically visual novels, right? I was gonna talk about other things like, you know, "Euphoria" or "Bible Black." - Or like "Rance" or something. - Oh yeah, "Rance" where it's like, I think part of the thing that limited us was that some of those games

you have to invest a lot of time to get into the gooning moments. - They don't give you the goon right from the get go. You gotta work for the goon. - They definitely don't, you know? And we wanted to get through as many as possible. So we were like, okay, what are some games that are good hour long experiences? Thinking a gooning game, well, you men would only need at most an hour to goon. - That's crazy that you guys can last an hour.

I didn't say anything. No, no, no, no, no. I have five minutes in me. No, no, no. I talk about the patience of like having an hour before you. They have an opportunity to just go, you know, five minutes straight to the point. But instead, some people are like, what if I invested a hundred hours of my life to follow a fictional story? And at the end, I may possibly goon. Yeah. So we kind of want to take you on a journey here of how it is to play these games as people who don't play these games. We don't play these games, right? Not anymore. I don't.

- What? You used to play these games? - Of course I did. - What? - Dude, I've talked about this. I was in a heavy eroge phase when I was in high school. - Okay. Okay, well, you know what? I'm glad. I'm glad that you're here 'cause I,

I wouldn't know what to say otherwise. I want to ask you a lot of questions. I wish we had some of the OG era gays with us. But unfortunately, we don't have the time to play some of them. By the way, if it wasn't already obvious, this episode is going to be quite censored. So if you want to watch it uncensored, as per usual, it's on the Patreon. And this time, unlike every other...

gooning specialty video that we've done. Oh my God, that sounds awful. We actually recorded all of our reactions to everything that we're going to talk about. So you can see all of those at patreon.com slash trash talk. I'll be honest with you guys, my face all the time was just this. Well, here's the problem, right? All right, what do you want to start with? Let's...

- Where do we even begin? - Okay, you know, let's start old. Let's start old and we'll get to the newer ones. - Okay. - Or do one each, one each. - Let's start with the classics. - Let's go in chronological order. - I played "Fuck Mr. Thatcher" first. And that was quite the trip.

I've never heard of this game before. - So this was a meme game that was huge on Newgrounds. This is a Newgrounds classic. - How the fuck Game Grumps did a let's play of this that is still on YouTube? - It's on YouTube? - It's on YouTube. - What? - So this was always a classic on Newgrounds. I think this was made back in like 2003, around the same time as another game we're gonna be talking about. - I would also say that like,

There's no way this is like, I don't think this is like a Guna game. - Yeah. - Like I don't think you're guning to this. - It's a meme Guna game. - Yeah, 'cause it was back, like I was playing it and my whole thoughts were like, basically the premise of this story is that you are a young adult who is having gay fantasies of your friend's dad, Mr. Thatcher, and your goal is to have sex with him.

And basically the entire punchline of the game is "haha gay." - Yeah. - Which is like- - It is peak mid to like early 2000s internet. - It's just like, I'm playing it now, it's so cringe. You're like, oh. And did you read the diary? - I did read the diary. - I did read the diary. - I was embarrassed. I've never been embarrassed reading something on this channel before, but I was embarrassed reading the diary. It's like getting into, in this diary, it's like,

Everything that if I was 13 in 2000 that I thought was funny about being gay, I would just write that down. And that's what the diary is. Yeah, it was clearly made by a high schooler who thought that was funny. In some sense, I'm glad we played it because it is a reminder of how cringe and how far we've come as a species on the internet. Holy fuck was this shit cringe and not fun. So the question is, did you end up fucking Mr. Hatcher? I did, I did, I did. Okay, okay.

I actually misread when you post it on the group chat to be like, play this game. I'd never heard of this game before, even though I was like peak Newgrounds. I actually misread it. I thought it was like, I thought it was going to be a much more controversial game. Because I read, I skim read, and I thought it said, fuck Mrs. Thatcher. Oh my God. Like Margaret? I was like, what?

- What are they recommending me right now? I was like, but it is Mr. Thatcher. - That is probably also a Newgrounds game somewhere. - Did you end up finding it eventually? - Yeah, yeah. I actually didn't know it was gonna be on Newgrounds. I thought it was gonna be on some random flash website 'cause that's what I found Frank's Adventure on. But with this one,

I realized early on that I needed to deprogram my visual novel brain because early on I was like, let's just go with the losing path, even though I know it's losing, just because I want to see every option. Unfortunately, every option leads to the same fucking dialogue option. So I was like, you have to re...

Unlike vision novels, you have to restart right at the beginning if you fail. There's no save spots. There's no save states. - Yeah, I fucked up right away and then I got it in one turn. I don't know if that's good or bad. And what I realized is that when you're playing this game, you sit down on the couch with him and he's like, "Sports, huh?" And the voice setting is fucking awful. - It's so bad. - Not that I want it to be good. I don't want it to be good. They're like, "Oh, do you like sports?" And the answer is yes or no. And it's like, okay.

configure this out. Clearly it's yes. And then it's like, okay, what should you do next? It's like, take a shot, kiss him in the face. And I was like, okay, I guess I'll take a shot. Yeah, it's usually three dialogue options. It's like the one that is obviously correct, which is the most normal answer. The one that is slightly like, oh, okay, maybe if you were a bit of a weirdo, you'd answer it. And then the last one is always like, you're so fucking hot.

where it's like clearly like the gayest option in the thing, which is clearly incorrect at the beginning. And yeah, I forgot how, I also forgot how short this game was. - Yeah, this is only like a 10 minute. I mean, it's on new grounds. It's not gonna be like a fucking 30 hour JRPG. - What pissed me off is that like at one point it was like maybe the options and I clicked do nothing. And then I ended up kissing and like,

stroking his penis, which I was like, dad, which I'm, which, you know, in, in terms of this law and this world building, go ahead. But I didn't choose that. Yeah. I should do nothing. And he starts kissing him. I'm like, that's not nothing. That's not nothing at all. This, this actually, this game actually made me angry because, because,

I had failed like four times because I was just like, just fucking about. I just got bored of replaying the same fucking thing. So I was like, I'm just gonna choose what I think is the right dialogue option. And at no point was there a transition from,

from Mr. Thatcher not being okay with your advances to immediately just sucking dick. - Very unrealistic. - There is no transition at all. It literally goes from, hey- - Yeah, he's homophobic and then two seconds later, he's all for it. - Yeah, so what you're saying is there wasn't enough character development. - No, there wasn't. - And the implication was that if I put enough drinks in him or anyone for that matter, they turn gay. - Yeah, the only transition was me saying,

slightly accidentally putting my hand on his knee. And he'd say, he'd be like, "Don't worry about that." - Which he did first. He advanced on me first. - He did do that first, that is true. - Yeah. And then immediately you go from touch crotch, immediate fail game to do nothing, immediately suck dick and he's okay with it. What? - Yeah, it's very unrealistic. I feel like they didn't plan out the routes as well as they should have. And I don't think it deserves its legendary status amongst new ground.

- I mean, Legendary is saying a lot. It's more infamous than anything. - Fair enough. - Yeah. - But yeah, I wasn't really a fan of this one, I'll be honest with you. - Yeah. - Not the greatest game of all time. - No. - Very unrealistic dialogue for you. - Yeah, it is the most early 2000s and Newgrounds game ever created. - Yeah.

- I don't know what more to say about it. - It's hard to say more. - I mean, it's a 10 minute experience. That's pretty much it. Would not recommend it, but it is a time capsule. - It is. - Of the internet. - The amount of time we've talked about it is how long it takes to beat the game. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Basically. - It's not worth it. Don't play it. - It is not worth it. - Don't play it. - So that's "Fuck Mr. Thatcher". Next up, another Newgrounds classic. - This one's actually a classic though.

Frank's Adventure. Why is Frank's Adventure? Because I've never played this game. Because this was, I think, the first, like...

at least for me anyway this was one of the first like adult games i ever played like growing up really yeah because this was back when again like early 2000s i was on new grounds i was discovering what flash animations were and at the time you know i was watching like you know guys like ego raptor and like you know a bunch of other like classics from that era and then i don't think it was if i'm remembering correctly when i initially went on new grounds there was no adult section

And I think it was until afterwards that they were like, okay, let's make an adult section because clearly there are people who are trying to like bypass the system to make

- Oh yeah. - The 18 games, right? - Yeah. - And I was like, oh, there's an adult section. And you know, obviously I'm not 18 yet at the time. So what do you do when you're not 18 and you're starting to get into that part? Yeah, you lie. You're just like, fuck it. Let's check it out. And this was the first game I saw on it because I think the thumbnail is like an anime girl. - Yeah. - So I was just like, ooh, yay. I like anime. Let's click this. And then I played it and yeah, this was the first time where I'm like, wow,

- Gooning, boobs, sick. - Yeah, this game, this game sucks. This game fucking sucks. - It's a step up from the previous game. - Yeah, that's like not hard. - And you know what? Out of everything that we played, this was on like the higher tier actually. I don't know how much that says. - Genuinely, out of all the games we played for this episode, I had the most fun playing Frank's Adventure.

And that's saying a lot. - Okay, so to explain the premise of this game as a Newgrounds game, one of the OG you said, right? - OG. - And you basically have to acquire five pictures of five naked ladies through different means. - Yeah, you've been scouted by an adult magazine company and they're for some reason are like, "Hey, we need more pics for this issue. So we need you to go out there and collect some nude pics."

But the way you get these nude pics is just the most- - This is random. - LOL random, new rounds, mid early 2000s humor. - So for one of the pictures, you have to acquire Coke from Spike Spiegel.

which I don't know why. - I remember when I saw the Digimon characters in this, I'm like, "Is he Thai? What the fuck are you doing here?" - Yeah, so you have to buy Coke from Spike and then you have to then, and I'm sure all the other anime girls are from some anime that I don't know. You have to then trade the Coke for a naked picture of this girl. - No, no, she wants Coke. So you have to give her the Coke. - Yeah, you give her the Coke for the picture. Another girl will just wants Coke. So you have to buy two grams to sell to her to get money.

And then this is where I started to run into my frustration with the game. It was very easy to get softlocked.

- Oh really? - Once you had no money, there's no way to get more money. - Oh yeah. - And so the game wasn't very well thought out. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Just once I'd bought my Nikes. - Yeah. - And at one point to get one of the notes, you have to chase a dog down. You can't get that until you buy the $210 shoes. - Oh, I didn't know that. - So you have to chase the dog down. - Wait, what do you mean you didn't know that? - I just randomly bought the Nikes and then just found a dog. - Yeah, so yeah, yeah. And the dog has a phone number.

and you call the phone number, and then you meet a girl in a movie theater that's playing jiggling boobs, and she'll give you the photo for 200 bucks. And so I found the only way to actually beat this game was to go to the casino,

- Oh, you went to the casino? - Put it all on red. - Yeah, same here, same here. - And then I could eventually go and beat the game. - Do you know what I found out? I don't know because I, the first thing I did was go to the casino as well. I'm just trying to get as much money as possible. And I realized that I thought what I would do was just gain enough money, game the system, and if I lost, I would just restart the game. - Yeah. - They didn't.

- They did not randomize it. It is scripted which one comes first. And I think it just alternates from red to black, red to black. - Oh, does it? - No, I kept putting it on red and kept winning. - Did you? - Yeah. - Maybe you just got really lucky. - I don't know, but hey, maybe gambling good.

So yeah, you just have to acquire five pictures of naked anime. Do you know what the part that I struggled the most with, with this one? The fucking game boy. Holy shit. So there's a segment where you tie gives you a game boy and you have to beat another mini game. Yeah. Uh,

you have to be another game within this game. And it's basically just fucking angry birds or some shit like that, where you go down a ski slope and you have to jump over. - It's literally, you know that game on Google when it gets disconnected, the T-Rex one, where you have to jump over trees. It's basically that. - Yeah. - I had to like actually like focus to beat this. I was like, what the fuck? - It was so hard. - See, 'cause like, you'll see it on my POV, but I've played this game before, obviously.

And I beat it very quickly. I beat it so quickly that I decided to start speed running it. - What? - I did a speed run of this game in the recording. - Okay. - My PD- - I thought you meant back, all the way back when. - No, no, no, no, for this video. 'Cause I beat my first play through of the game. I kind of, as I was playing it, I was like remembering very slowly what to do. - Yeah. - And so I beat it in like 10 minutes. And then I was like, well,

My recording is over in 10 minutes. Fuck it. I'll learn how to speed run it. My PB is two and a half minutes.

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- Wait, so in this picture, I had managed to acquire all five of the naked ladies. And I was like, okay, good. And then I did not know if there's any ending cut scene or anything. I couldn't get anything. - It just ends. - It didn't even end. It just keep, it's just like nothing happens. - Wait, what? No, it ends. - Yeah, I got five pictures. - You need to go sell them. - You have to go and sell them. - Who do you sell them to?

- The old man in the- - The old man- - When I went to him, I couldn't get any, I kept getting the same dialogue. - You just click on the pictures and then click sell. - Yeah, you open the picture and it says sell. - Oh, I didn't know that. - Also, you guys didn't have to go to the casino 'cause every time you sell a picture, you get money for it. - I didn't know that. - So the strat is to acquire like a couple of pictures that are easy to get without the process of going to Spike, sell those to get money and then buy everything else.

- That's how I speed ran it. - Strats. - I didn't know this. - That's a strat. - So where do I goon in this game? - So the gooning portion is the process of acquiring the picture, seeing the terribly, what is clearly traced. - Yeah, it's like the fake,

fake boobs on anime. - I'm pretty sure I've recognized most of the girls in the pictures from like some old eighties hentai. I'm pretty sure some of them were like from Shin Angel or some stuff that I downloaded from LimeWire when I was like 10 or some shit like that. - I'm sure like if I'd never seen porn before, this would be like a revelation. - That's what I'm saying though. I played this game when I was like, I don't know, 12, 13. Like when I was like just hitting puberty and I was like starting to be like, oh yay boobies. And I remember man, 12, 13 years old, like I didn't have the knowledge to like just,

go on a porn website or anything like that, or like use Google images. Like the only thing I was like, okay, my arsenal is newgrounds.com and flash games where I play like tank. So I was like, well, this is the only hub that I know of where I could potentially get gooning material. So that's all I had back in the day. If I wanted to goon in secret from my parents on the family computer, I opened up Newgrounds and played Frank's Adventure. Okay.

I didn't know this until I started playing it, but I noticed there was a Frank's Adventure 2. There's a Frank's Adventure 3. There's six of them. There's six Frank's Adventures? Yes. Is it all the same gameplay mechanic or does- Do they ever-

and iterate on its formula of just getting pictures of naked anime girls. - I think it's the latter, if I remember correctly. Like the latest one, yeah, I think the guy like shit these out like once a year or something or once every six months. And yeah, I remember the later games, it was a little bit more, I say this with a grain of salt, a little bit more intuitive.

in terms of its gameplay. It wasn't just like, LOL random at all times. But yeah, this first one is just like, man, I forgot just, I was like, yeah, all, most if not all flash games back in the day looked and felt like that. - Yeah, the porn felt like a secondary aspect. - It almost did, didn't it? - Yeah. - It felt like a game first. - Yeah, yeah. Which is respectable actually, 'cause it was just like, suddenly you just like, you just got a picture of naked girls. - Yeah, I kept getting like,

I was like whiplash whenever I opened the box. Yeah, I'm collecting naked pictures here. - Yeah, that's the whole point of the game. - And then I did, I was reading the comments of it. People were like, "Damn, this is my childhood. "This is so good." And I was like, "What the fuck?" And there was one comment was like, it was like sad face, like, "Yeah, we really were misogynistic "as fuck back then, huh?"

And you're like, yeah, yeah. All of these games have aged extremely poorly. Yes. Yeah. But the modern stuff isn't much better. Yeah. We don't recommend you play any of these. I'd say it's actually better than some of the modern stuff that we played. Which is not a good thing. Which is insane to say. Not good at all. Yeah. Because to, I guess, complete the trio of the classics that we had from Newgrounds,

- We had a ganguro girl as well. - Which I completely forgot about until you brought it up. I was like, where have I heard of this before? And the moment I opened it up and I saw that ganguro girl, I was like,

Oh my God, I remember playing this game. The theme song as well. The theme song. Oh my God. You kept fucking looping whenever you clicked anything. Yeah. So whenever you did anything, it would just start the loop again. And it was such a short loop. It was annoying as fuck. So the premise of this game is that you're just some guy and you're trying to go to the club and pick up a girl and have sex with her.

Yeah, that's the entire- A ganguro girl specifically. Which is? Which is basically a evolved version of a gyaru. Yeah. So ganguro was this movement in the early 2000s in Japan where it was like-

It was like if you took the concept of gyaru and cranked it up to an 11. Yeah. Right. Which was, you know, big back in the day. Which is like gyaru, except they have like a lot of tan. A lot of tan. Yeah. And like a lot of makeup. And yeah, it looks pretty ugly when you think of it today. Yeah. But this was like a huge trend among Japanese girls in the late 90s, early 2000s. Oh God, it's terrifying. Yeah, it's really terrifying. I was never into it.

So you have to, you know, you start with some base stats like any good game and you can do charm, strength or knowledge. - I throw it all in charm. - I put it all in strength. - I want knowledge baby. - Did you balance it out? - I want knowledge. Wait, which was the girl that you guys picked? Search up Gangura girl? There was only one girl. - There was only one girl. - Was there? - Yeah. - Shit.

- Wait, wait. - There's only one girl. - Search it up again. - There's only one girl. - Did you play a different game? There's only one girl. - I swear there's multiple girls. - Go images, go images. - There's Gunguru girls. - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, okay, fuck. - Very left one. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, the blonde haired girl. - Yeah. - Yeah, there was only one option. - I think I might've played Gunguru Girl 1.5 then, the one with like,

- The three options? - With the three options? - Oh shit. - Yeah, 'cause the one that I played, there's only one. - Yeah, there's only one goal. - Oh shit, okay. - And holy shit, this game was hard. - Yeah. - It was so hard. - Okay, so to spoil it for me, I ended up getting friend zoned.

You got friendzoned? I got friendzoned by the end of the 100 days. So you have 100 in-game days to end up sleeping with this girl. And it's like, unlike Fuck Mr. Hatcher, there's an actual character development where it actually takes time for you to get to know her and then become friends with her and then make her a girlfriend and then end up having sex. I rage quit. I'm honest with you guys. Did you? Like 50 days in, I rage quit. I was getting so pissed off with these fucking dates. Okay, so.

Basically, the game starts and you have these stats and you can talk to the girl, but at that point you don't have enough stats in certain things to really approach her. So you have to kind of train. You can either like, and you mostly just train, I felt like, one of them. Because, you know, there was jobs where you could earn money. It's basically persona, if you think about it. So if you went knowledge, you could work in IT. If you went strength, you could deliver stuff and work for a gang. So I just maxed out strength.

for the first 10 days, just kept strength training. And then I did the delivery thing and then got a fuck ton of money. And I was like, fuck yeah, she'll like me now. - See what fucked me up with that was that I also did like the delivery thing because even though my strength was low, yeah, I kept going to prison. 'Cause every time you have a chance of going to prison and then it skips a week.

So I think out of the hundred days I played the game, I think I spent about 30 of those days in prison. - Yeah, I spent a lot of them in prison. But I had like 15K and that's a lot in this game. And so I thought I could buy my way to a heart. Boy, was I wrong. 'Cause when I went to the club and tried to speak to her, she would give me one line and then block me. It was so annoying. And then I had to keep leaving the club, sleeping, coming back and then trying to talk to her. And every single time I would get a piece of dialogue, but sometimes I wouldn't even get new dialogue. I got the same dialogue.

Did you end up going on a date with her? - Yeah, so eventually I went on the date and I was able to take her and then she'd be like, "No, that's not, we can't go there. We don't know each other well enough." I was like, "Okay, fine." So then I'd pick something else and I would talk to her and I would be like, "Hi, how are you doing?" And she'd be like, "No." "What do you mean? You agreed to go on the date with me. Why are you here? You agreed to this. You should be talking to me." - And then she gives you like fucking pop quizzes about like shit that she likes. - Yeah, and so then,

the pop quiz turned up and I was like, what? I didn't know answers to these things. Like in real life. And I was like, okay, so I got it all wrong. And then I would try to buy my way out of this. I would try to give gifts. - Like in real life. - And it wasn't working like in real life. And so then I started trying to get dialogue in the club of where she would say things, but she would keep,

repeating the same three pieces of information and wouldn't tell me new pieces of information to answer the quiz so that I could give her a kiss. And so I got really frustrated after a while. - I managed to get her to the love hotel. - I did too. - Yeah, but then I couldn't advance from there and I ran out of days. - Yeah, and then I kept kissing. And I was like, when are we gonna progress bases here? We go to the love hotel and she would be like, "Hey." And I'd be like, "Hey."

And then we would kiss and then it would be like, do you wanna play blackjack? I'd be like, what? - Oh my God. - Pong, a fucking pong game. - Yeah, do you wanna play pong? - What is up with all these games and all these like random mini games that they want to put into it? - It's clearly the game devs being like, well, I mean, I learned how to program pong in my first year of game programming. So I'll throw it in there. - How to beat her in pong, which I didn't do. 'Cause it was very fucking annoying. - You didn't beat her in pong?

- I don't know, I gave up. - I fucking swept that shit dude. - I got tilted, I got so tilted. - I was like, I'm a fucking pole master. I fucking gained that shit. - And then you had to do Hangman. - Yep. - Oh, I didn't get to that one. - I got Hangman. - Oh, I didn't get that one. - And I had to play Hangman, which was so annoying. And I'm like, I just wanna fuck. Why am I playing Hangman? Let me bone, let me smash. So, and then I just have to keep kissing her. And then some old fuck would come in and be like, "You wanna play blackjack?" And I'd be like, "I don't wanna play blackjack, stop."

And so I did, I repeated that for like five days and I couldn't get to, I couldn't, I couldn't do anything. I was getting really pissed off. So I gave up. And then I went to the comments and I looked for the cheat code to get to the sex scenes. Yeah. Oh, so you did get to the sex scene. By cheating. Okay. So I replayed all the sex scenes. Wait, there's cheat codes in this? Yeah. I had no fucking clue. So when you run out of the hundred days, I only discovered this, when you run out of the hundred days, it gives you a password to get you back to a certain point in the game. Oh.

So I could have used that password to replay the game. - It's really the first Souls-like game. - Yeah. - Collecting the souls. - Yeah. - But yeah. - This was the best one out of all of them because it was an actual game and the massive payoff was that you get to have sex. As a 10 year old, probably would have gone crazy. - Yeah, I remember playing this as a kid.

which you know. - You should not have been playing. - You should never have been playing, but I was. - Let's not lie, everyone does. - It's real life, bro. - I was curious. - Kids are playing these games. - Exactly. And I remember seeing like the interactive, like sex scene at the end. - Bro. Yeah, where you have to like thrust. I was like, what the fuck?

And I was like, why is the bar not going up? I couldn't get my, I was like, I was like, I couldn't get hard enough. I was like, I couldn't get hard in this game. I was like, sorry, sorry. I was like, I swear this doesn't happen. And I'm literally mashing. Like my life depends on it. And I realized, oh, you just hold it down.

It's like throwing a hot dog down the hallway. Yeah, bro. I was trying my hardest and literally. And yeah, I was just struggling. And then I thought, okay, look, I found the sex scenes. I want to redo this with infinite money. And there was a cheat code. There's a way that if you remove your name. So when it asks for your name, press backspace once, type 20, you get infinite money. What the fuck kind of Konami code shit is this? So I then went through the game with infinite money. Still couldn't get her to love me.

That's just pervs, man. Money can't buy you love. Which makes a lot of sense because this is why no one can stand Elon Musk right now. Exactly. Goddamn. Exactly. But I think this game, compared to the other ones we've played, has aged...

I use an inverted very, very, very compared to his competitors. It is basically just a dating SIM. - What's crazy, this is the least misogynistic dating year of all of them. Like I actually had to like talk to her and like get to know her. - Yeah, and memorize things. - I have to like remember a birthday and shit. - I remember her favorite brand of cosmetics.

Like, yeah, right? They were like preparing you for like actually like having to be a real human being. Whereas none of the other games did this. No, just like misogynist, misogyny, misogyny. It's like you are a sentient penis basically. Honestly, out of all of them, probably the best gameplay. Yeah.

- Honestly, it's like, it is basically resource management. You have a lot of resource management. You have a certain amount of days and the fact that, I think it's the fact that you can fail at the game, which brings, okay. - It's hard. - It's the replayability. - Yeah, yeah. It's the thing about,

There are a few things about this game. It's the fact that you can fail at the game, which actually makes the stakes like real, that you have to actually lock in and not just like autoplay the game. And also out of all the other Flash games, this one had the best rewards because it wasn't just a picture. You got like a full on-

- Interactive. - You got a full on interactive scene. Was it just a junkie, you know, interactive scene? - I wish I could have seen it, man. I was fucking trying so hard, but I kept going to jail. - I just cheated, man, 'cause this game was too hard. This is like the OG Ninja Gaiden, like actual impossible difficulty. Trying to figure this out. But you know what, that's fair, 'cause that made,

the reward that I could have gotten more sweeter. - Yeah, yeah. - I had to earn it. - I remember as a kid, you know, I remember as a kid when I got to the end screen and the end, you know, the fucking,

and sexy and I was like, no fucking way I cracked the code. It was like fucking cracking the DaVinci code. - I'm such a God gamer. - I didn't even want to goon at that point. I was just so fucking proud of myself. - Gan's just training himself to find the Zodiac killer. He's like, oh my God, the payoff is so worth. - I heard like Gungor, Gungor ran so Persona could walk. - No, it did. - Like legit. - This was, you could see

parts of like, um, honey pop in this, especially you can just like, you see, you see like the puzzle games and everything.

A lot of persona in this as well, clearly. And the next iteration, I think Ganga Girl 1.5 had multiple girls to choose from as well, different personalities. - Oh, that's just adding extra replayability. - Which is the one I played. And I remember I needed to find all of the sex scenes for each of the girls. So this shit, for a game that came out in 2002 on like fucking Newgrounds,

Pretty fucking goaded back in the day. Honestly. Yeah. It reminded me of, what was that game? Swords and Sandals. You ever play that game? Swords and Sandals? What is that? It was like a kind of like a resource management as well where you would like, you would like go and fight these guys.

In the sense that you had to sleep and do these daily things to level up slowly and fight. Right. Except this time you got to fuck. I don't know this one. This one was about fighting. It was a good game. Yeah? Yeah, it was a good game back in the day. I played the shit out of it. Yeah, I remember there were, like Angu ago, there were a lot of these dating sim type games that were on Newgrounds. I remember playing this Evangelion one.

- But like a lot of them actually was just like pure dating sim that didn't have a sex scene at the end. - Yeah. Boring. - Yeah. It's just like, why am I playing this? I'm just playing a fan fiction now, you know? - Yeah, exactly. - What's the point of this? But "Gangaroo Girl" was one of those ones where I'm like, damn, this is actually worth the payoff. Also, this is my first introduction to gyarus as well. This is where I learned about like "Gangaroo Girls" and gyarus. - This is where you turned.

And you're like, hang on. Garou's might be goaded. Yeah. And I'm like, you know what? Garou character designs are actually kind of goaded. They're actually wholesome as fuck. The girl looks cute. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The girls look cute. Not as scary as the real life pictures that we saw. Yeah. Honestly, out of all like the Newgrounds Flash games, I think this one's

- At the top. - Goated. - It is pretty goated. And I'm sad. I pity the lack of gamer in me that I couldn't actually fucking beat the game. I tried so hard, but it's just every time I'm just like- - Have you ever seen the sex scene? - I haven't, no. - Yo, Kai, load up the sex scene. - Load up the sex scene. - Ganguru girl. - Let's check it out.

- Oh word? - Word. - All right, let's go. - Look at this shit, man. - Dude, multiple positions as well? - Yeah, you get multiple positions from multiple girls as well. - Hell yeah, dude. - Each girl had a different position. - That's sick as fuck. Oh my God, dude. Like I...

- Just click on one of the top ones. - If I was like 12 playing this game, this would have been the absolute shit. - Yeah. - Hell yeah, dude. - Look at this shit, man. For 2006. - Look at the main protagonist fucking shit eating grin, dude. Look at that. He's just like, yeah. All those deliveries in jail was worth it. - So yeah, what you had to do was, I didn't know you just hold it, but I thought you had to like fucking mash it to get that orgasm meter up.

- Mash the orgasm meter. - Yeah. - Oh my God. - Yeah, man, this was the shit back in the day, man. This is all we had. - And you know, I just love, at least in this one, the protagonist actually looks like a fucking Chad. - Yeah. - You know? He's got the, I don't know why he's wearing sunglasses while he fucks. - Yeah, take the glasses off, bro. - Yeah, why? That put me off when he's having sex with glasses on. - Damn. - Oh my God. - Yeah.

Trad behavior. That's where all the budget went. Yeah. That was "Gangura Girl." Hell yeah. Probably the only game we recommend you to actually try out. If we had to pick one. None of these games I recommend. But if we had to pick one. One of these games I recommend. Maybe this one. And unfortunately, it actually goes downhill from there. Yeah. The new games. Which ones we talk about first?

- Do you want to talk about Sex Calibur? - Yeah, let's talk about Sex Calibur. - We can talk about Sex Calibur. So Sex Calibur is the only one, Japanese one that we played out of all of these. - Is it Japanese? - Yeah, originally. - Fuck, really? - Yeah, it's originally a Japanese era game. - So alarm bells start ringing when,

- I load up the game. - I know what you're about to say. - I load up the game and they're like, "Do you have a Lovense device you would like to connect to?" - Yo, that was insane. - I thought that was insane. - I opened up the website just to see what it was like. - You got 50% off, bro. - Yeah, 50% off. - Yeah, 50% off. - And I was just like, "What? That's the future." - Yeah, so Lovense, if you don't, is that how you say it? Lovense, Lovense? I don't know how you say it. - I don't know. - I don't know. - So if you, to those who are not aware,

And I envy you who are not aware. There's a company that does these kind of like long distance relationship kind of like sex toys, I guess. But they also work with a lot of games as well. - Yeah. - Yeah. I don't know how many games they worked with. - I know, I think Ultra Kill is a game where like the anal one works.

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- Also, what the fuck did you just say? - Are you fucking, are you trolling me right now? - Hold on, hold on. - I'm pretty sure Ultra Kill works with anal plugs or something. Can a kid Google this?

I don't know how you Google this. Wait, wait, before you Google this, how did you come across this piece of information? I think the dev tweeted about it as like a joke being like, hey, by the way, butt plugs now work with Ultra Kill. Okay, first of all, what's Ultra Kill? It's literally like Doom. Yeah. But like even more intense. Okay. It's so sick. And why does this work with- Ultra Kill butt plug type in? Type in Ultra Kill.

- Yeah, yeah. - Yeah. - Has patched in bug plot support for the game. - What? - Screen shakes firing weapon movement. It's so funny. - I like as well optional menu feedback. - Yeah. - So this is actually what I heard about this company. - What? - That does these sex toys. Because I was like, how does it work with a butt plug?

So yeah, basically this is a company that does, what are they called? - Adult toys. - Adult toys that work remotely. And this game has functionality where you can pair your device to it. And I almost wish that we had one so that I could see what the fuck it was doing. - It's like an N64 rumble pack, but if you put it on your dick.

- You mean you didn't do that with the 360 controller? - I'm kidding, I'm kidding. No, yeah, so, and in the game, they had like a massive fucking like section of the menu that was like, buy it, buy it, buy it, buy it, come toy, come, come. - Are you talking about "Holter Kill" or "Sex Calibur"? - "Sex Calibur". - Yeah, because yeah, I spent most, I love the gameplay just like,

- Gameplay? - The gameplay. - Gameplay. - What gameplay? - The gameplay initially just being like, how the fuck would you Bluetooth a device to this? How does it, does it like sync automatically? Do you just press autoplay and then just sit? - I'm sure, yeah, I guess so. - I was so curious. - I think so. - So yeah, that was the thing that stood out the most about the game initially when we opened it. When you boot into this game,

The story starts out, you're just a lowly knight in a force about to be struck down by the evil demon princess, Kayla. Yeah. I'm surprised you remember her name. Yeah, I remember the names. And she obviously is very attractive. Extremely so. Huge binoculars. And they would... Why they did this? While she's talking, it would occasionally just...

It's a P and G. It would just zoom in on the boobs of the characters. And then while that was happening, she'd be like, "You're disgusting. Why did you look at my boobs?" - It's the actual just audacity of this main character to be in a literal life or death situation. And the only thing he can think about is boning these girls. - Yeah, and then the dialogue is like, "God, I'm dying, but I don't know why I'm turned on."

And then right as he's about to be killed, Erica, the knight, comes in and saves the day. Yeah. Um,

but she's also very attractive. Huge bononkas on her as well. Huge bononkas, and we've, you know, obviously it zooms in on those bononkas at one point, and we catch ourselves catching a glance, which Erica thinks is disgusting. And Erica does not take nicely to this, and throws up a couple of insults towards us, and says, wow, you're so disgusting, how dare you objectify me while I'm trying to save your life, which I think, you know, valid, valid. You know, you are looking at her.

But she also, I remember she also says, because he was like, I want to join your army to help defeat the Lord. But she's like, nah, we only allow women knights in our group. And then he's just like, well, then what the fuck? What am I supposed to do? And then in true fashion, he's like, these bitches are,

"These fucking women, they put me down. I hate women." - It basically turns into "Read Over Healer." That's what I kept saying. - He went from like zero to full incel in like 0.1 seconds. It was crazy how being rejected once did that. - I was just like, "Damn, I am never going to complain about a faceless self-insert hentai protagonist ever again." 'Cause the biggest turnoff

for me for this one was just how fucking down bad the protagonist is. He's so whining. He's just whining, whining. And I'm like, okay, I can always handle a casual gooning session. I know what being down bad is like. This man...

This man is on another level of down bad. - He is down horrendous. - Yeah. - And as well, it's just like the turnaround of where he's just like, "Oh, I don't want to die of version." I'm just like, "Maybe you should." - Maybe you should. - Maybe you should. - Maybe you should. - During the sex scenes, I'm like, "I don't want him to be getting it." - Yeah. - Actually, if...

They didn't give him a character PNG, but if they did, 100% ugly bastard energy. 100%. This is a pure mind-break, ugly bastard NTR-coded hentai story. So the story continues after we get rejected. Yes. And we go into the forest for some reason. And in the forest, a voice whispers out to us. It calls to us saying-

Come this way. Come towards. Come. And then he's like, oh my God, my horny energy is getting even, I'm getting even hornier when I'm getting close to this whispering voice. And as he gets closer and closer, he's like, oh, I'm getting so horny. And then as he gets to the voice, we find it's a fucking sword.

And the sword calls out to us saying, I sense that you have the horniest of all energy and my sword will grant you nothing but power. It's the sex caliber. Sex caliber. Yeah. And so now emboldened by the sword sex caliber, he now goes back to Erica who saved his life moments ago.

And apparently the sword now allows you to have your way with women. - Yeah, and then it turns into a fade zero basically, where it's just like, I command you to be in my fucking wheel or whatever. And then it's just like, okay, command seal appears. - Command seal shows up here. - So, you know, at this point in the game, I'm trying to read the dialogue. And it's like,

- Literally five minutes ago, he just got saved by this woman. Yes, she said some bad things about him, but she saved your fucking life. And now he's like, "This fucking bitch. I'm gonna fuck her. I'm gonna fuck her 'cause she deserves it for being such a bitch to me and not saying I can't join." And I'm like, "What is wrong with this guy? This guy's such a fucking loser. This is so unfun." - I'll tell you when I lost it,

It was like so fucking out of pocket or just out of nowhere. So he's fucking her. Out of nowhere, you just hear, yeah.

- Yeah. - And I'm like, what? What did he just do? He fucking slaps her tits. And I'm just like, why? Why? That's a little bit weird. - Yeah, that was weird. And then the part that absolutely sent me was at the end of each thing, there is one option that it gives you with every single girl. I don't know why, but it always ends with,

pee on her or not pee on her. - It is the only input you have in this game. - The only input. - The only input. - I was like, why? - It's the way it's worded as well. It's like urinate on the girl. Nah, I shouldn't pee right now. - Yeah, leave her alone. - What's also interesting is that as the game progresses, the dialogue about this pee gets weirder and weirder. And it's like, it goes from,

to pee on her or not decide to let her have the piss. Nah, she don't deserve it. - No, the one that killed me was like, he was like, I've got one final thing just for you. And then it's like, and that final thing is piss. - It's so dumb. - It's like, no, stop peeing on them, please. - So after he goes to Erica, the knight who just saved us and,

now made her his sex partner slave. - Yeah. - He then, okay, we go to another camp and we meet an elf. - Yep. - Who then he's like- - Also huge bononkers. - She's like, and he's like, "Hey, do you want to have sex?" She's like, "Oh, well, I'm okay." And he's like, "You fucking bitch. What do you want? What do you mean you don't want to have sex?" And then he immediately pulls out the sword and she now starts having sex with him. - Yeah. - And this pretty much continues

onwards and onwards. - Yeah, I only watched two sex scenes. - He stamps on her tit for some reason in this one. - Yeah, that one was weird. - I don't, I just- - I don't understand who this is for.

- I don't know. - I mean, I do because- - Who? - This is- - For people who are into that shit. - Who's into this? - This is redo of Healer. This is just redo of Healer. - But does anyone, has anyone actually gone into this shit? Like for real? - Probably. - I think so. - What? - I mean, not my friends. - I would love to like, no judgment, a little bit of judgment. I would love to know in the comments, like people who actually like enjoy this stuff and why. On a burner account, please. - It's kind of like a power fantasy in that sense. But like what took me out of it was just how fucking

like one dimensional, this power fantasy. It's just like, I, I hate women and I'm going to get back at all women. And it's just like, come on, come on, man. Come on. There's, there's a part of me that is like, okay, I find it, you know, it can be hot when, you know, there's like, like, like the first girl, for example, the first girl who just like seems super powerful. And, you know, in, in the, in the progress of like Hentai or something, you know, you, you,

- Yeah, I reckon there are some power. - You kind of break down the defenses and that's why mind break is a thing, right? But when it's just this blatant, it kind of just takes me out of it, man. - 'Cause it's like, when I'm reading it, I'm like, okay, either the, yeah, I don't know who made this game, what team made this game. When you're reading it, you're like, this just comes out as a really,

Yeah. And either it's like a, you know, and, you know, maybe, I know maybe they're not even bitter or that's not the point or they think like this is what the consumers want or whatever. Yeah. But to me, I was like, man, this is just like, if I actually like, like, because presumably to enjoy this scene, I need to understand everything

his like reasoning. He'd be like, yeah, that makes sense. So I can get into this world, right? And I'm like, what kind of mental place do I have to be at to get this and be like, yeah, they're fucking arrogant. Well, it's, you know, with like all these like hand-tied games and arrogance, it's like- Because some mind breaks, like you said, I think they're tasteful. It's fulfilling, you know, a fantasy. And in some, some of those fantasies are very, very dark that you can't do in real life, right? So that's what these games are for. But like, I remember-

a couple of times as I was playing this game, I had to stop myself and be like, someone wrote this dialogue. - Yes, the dialogue is so bad. - Somebody wrote this dialogue and thought, good, print that. - Dude, the dialogue is so ass. - I just don't understand. Like, I remember when I got to the second sex scene, two dialogue options in.

I'm just like, why do it? Why is he obsessed with slapping the tits? And then he keeps fucking doing it. - I went further. There was a third goal. Switched it up, smacked the ass instead. - Oh fuck. - Thank you. - And I was like, thank you. That makes a little more sense. - The worst thing about playing this game is that it's on my, all the fucking achievements are on my Steam. And I noticed when I played it,

It wasn't, it was on your library. It wasn't on Garn's. I was like, how the fuck did Garn- Oh, I, after I finished it, I immediately clicked remove from Steam library. Fuck, I need to do that. I need to do that. I finished the whole game. You finished the whole game? Are you serious? I put an auto clicker on. Oh, right. And I just clicked, I-

went through the, because I just wanted to see what the game was going to do. I didn't read any of the dialogue after the second one. And I just fucking sped through it. And dude, it was so funny because I would occasionally stop and read the dialogue and be like, this is so fucking stupid. But there was some voice acting that was so bad. Oh my God. There was one girl that was supposed to be moaning and she sounded like... She sounded like she was...

- She sounded like, you know what it sounded like? It sounded like the voice actress was receiving like the Heimlich maneuver. - Yes. - Where she's like, "Uh, uh." - Yeah, yeah. - And I'm like, "Do you have something stuck in your throat?" - I was like, "What is this? What is this?" - I'm like, "What I am looking at is like, okay, out of context, what I'm looking at is like, okay, naked anime girl, right? I can understand the appeal. But the moment you hear the voice acting, I'm just like, it takes me out of it because it's not- - I got to hear that.

- It is not sexy at all. - Oh fuck, I don't know. Maybe I can...

I can skip through my point. - So you finished it after the second one? - I beat all. - I went to all 21 encounters. - Jesus Christ. - Just fucking too much. When's the sex count? - How long were you recording for? Two hours? - No, no, no. This is all the games. - Oh, okay. I was gonna say. - I was gonna say, bro, bro. I played for 20 minutes. - Do you at least like- - Look at design. - Yeah. - Yeah, the character design is good. - Did you at least get to the first girl?

Me? The demon girl? Me? Yeah. I finished the game. Was she the last girl we fuck? Oh my god, you don't even know- you don't want to know what happens at the end of the game. I do want to know what happens actually, because I'm not going to fucking play it. Let me explain then after I show you the fucking moaning. Oh my god. Sorry. Oh, it was this girl, it was this girl. Oh my god. Bro. Bro. What is this voice acting, bro? Bro.

How is anyone coming to that? Like that alone, I was like, I inverted my penis. Like I was so fucking funny. You know, when you're playing...

a rogue a visual novel like this, I feel like story is more important than anything because you don't have animation to carry it. Yeah, because you don't, you don't have, you don't have input really in this game, whether to pee or not to pee. And so I realized when I was watching, I was like, this is just a really low budget hentai. Yeah. Like it's just the worst version of it because there's no movement. There's no, you don't get a sense of character from that. Yeah. And so, yeah. Sorry. Do you want to hear it again, Joey? Okay, good. And,

Bro. And so this game gets fucking... I gotta get this off the screen, by the way. Hold on. Can I check the Steam reviews for this? They were positive, bro. Yeah, every game we played was positively received.

For some reason. I mean- Then I'll tell you about the ending. Alright, alright, alright. Sexscalabur: Knights of the Pound Table. Oh, fuck. By the way, love that title. Great title. It's a hilarious title. Great title. Hilarious title. Yeah. And there's two of them, I think. There's two of them? I think so. No, Joe, 'cause I was saying that for a vision novel like this- Hide ignored items.

Like this one went into the sex ridiculously quickly. - So quickly. - And I feel like for visual novels, vision of where rogues, you need story more than anything, right? Because you don't have animation to like carry you. You have voice acting, but as we just heard without the movement, sometimes out of context, it just sounds weird. - It sounds so weird.

Yeah, I didn't like anything about this game, to be honest with you. It was just, ow, ow. It was all kind of... It's just like a really cheaply made era game where it's like they clearly didn't give a fuck about it. And if they did, then that's worrying. All the budget went into being able to jack you off with the...

I think that was the main selling point of this. Yeah, I think reading it was like, well, the story's not good, the characters aren't good, the sex scenes aren't good. And so after you, there's four girls that you end up picking up. Or five, maybe? And then, so once you've kind of, yeah, four girls, and then you beat the witch, maybe like seven chapters in. Seven chapters? Seven chapters in, you beat her. There's 20, by the way.

So once you beat her, you then start to then make your kingdom. And they would present you with choices like, what do you want to do? Do you want to build a toilet? Do you want to- Yeah, I got to that part. Do you want to- Go shopping. Go shopping for goods. Yeah. And so-

you know, I picked like, oh, okay. Yeah. I'd love to put some sewage infrastructure in. I think that would be a good idea for the kingdom. It's just turning one of them into a toilet. And then you start having sex with them as if they were a toilet. And I was like, okay. All right. And then the next one was like, all right, build housing for the kingdom. How do you have sex with someone as if they were a toilet? Or is that, does that just, does that just include more pissing? Yeah. Pretty much. Yeah. Okay. And you know, like humiliation and that kind of stuff. And then

Then they're like, you know, there's an option. I don't remember exactly what it was. It was something that seemed very normal. And I clicked it and it was just fucking right away. And I was like, okay. And so then it just became like, one of them was like, have breakfast.

- Yes, and it was fucking. - Yeah, and it was like the raunchiest shit, Albert. I was like, nothing about this is- - Yes, I was like, what's happening to our kingdom? We're now the king of this kingdom and we're not doing anything. What are the other gods thinking? The other people are like, I'm doing this. - So basically the story ends seven chapters in. - Yeah, and then it becomes just like pure fetish shit. And every single one there was like, they do like threesomes, foursomes. And then later on you impregnate all the girls.

Oh, I didn't get that far. Yeah, and so they're all pregnant and then you start, you know, doing stuff with them while they're- It's insane. It's just disgusting. It's taking off every, like, genre on- Yeah, every kind of fetish you could want. Every kind of power fantasy is just- Yeah, then they do this and it's just like- How does it end? You have sex once and then it ends. It doesn't end. You just fuck them and then it ends. Sick shit that he doesn't end with, like-

Dropping a fat piss. Oh yeah. I said yes to every piss because I thought maybe I'd get a different ending or something. Like a secret ending? Yeah, but it didn't happen. Nothing happened. It was just disappointment the entire way. No, I do admire this protagonist who is literally just called Protag and I just remembered that now. I do admire his dedication to pissing on every girl. Like, you know what? At a point, at a point,

- I just got respect. - I'm like, bro can piss on command. That's impressive. - It was like the Thanos of fetishes. They were collecting all of them. - Yeah. - Yeah. 'Cause I can't imagine having sex while I need to that desperately go for a piss. - Yeah. - That sounds like torture to me. - Yeah, that does not sound fun.

- It feels like loading two different chambers in a gun. - Yeah. - Like I gotta unload one, you know? Like one, these are different things. Like we gotta like move the revolver chamber. You know what I mean? Like I gotta do something. - It's like shoving a marble down a potato gun. - Yeah, no, it's not happening. - Yeah, I just, there was almost honestly nothing I liked about this. And I wonder if this is like a common,

thing in these games. No, it is. As someone who, again, used to play a lot of Erigase, 95% of Erigase is

So what did you like about these then when you used to play them? Well, because the few that I remember back in the day, well, for one, I was a horny teenager, right? My standards were rock bottom with these kinds of games. I mean, they were never high to begin with, but there were also a lot of era gays that actually genuinely have really good stories. For example, a lot of like, you know, the ones that eventually became like anime adaptations, right?

Actually, some of them had genuinely like compelling characters and like a good story where it actually made sense that you ended up with these girls. Whereas this one is just like, not that. - Oh, it only has seven user reviews. - Really? - Not a lot, and three more negative ones, I suppose. - I guess so. - Yeah. - What are the positive reviews? - I mean, I don't know if there are any, I mean, let's... - Jizzmas.

- The jolliest jizzing time of years here. - Why did we not play jizzmas? - Oh my God. - Oh, here we go, user reviews.

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God, this mouse is, what the fuck is going on? - Yeah, I think playing this game compared to some of the games I played when I was younger, it made me realize, damn,

holding back the sex scenes is actually the most powerful thing. Absolutely. You know, because it's just more. Yeah. Yeah, it is. Or at least, you know, build up to it. You got to build up to it. The whole point of playing a hentai game is that you are rewarded. Yeah. Because the whole point is why wouldn't you just put on like a fucking hentai? Yeah. It shouldn't be the main thing.

part of the game. - Yeah, yeah, exactly. - As weird as it sounds, it shouldn't be- - No, you're actually, you're so fucking right. - It shouldn't be the reason why you're playing the game. It should just be an extra little thing that is like, yay, you know? - It's the reward system that comes at the end. - Oh my God, look at this review someone's made. - What the fuck is this review? Concise game reviews. - He's done a concise review and a detailed review. And the concise review is huge. Wait, I wanna see the, can you scroll down? 'Cause I saw it. - Oh my God, he's gone. - Look at the detailed review.

- Holy fuck, bro. Bro's got a PhD in gooning. - Oh my God. - Holy fuck, bro. Bro is in, this is like, this must be like orb to them. Passing on the torch of gooning. Bro is passing on the knowledge. - So here are the key features. Fantasy visual novel, alternative scenes, magic sword, intense H scenes, scene studio, extensive content, diverse characters, minimal interactivity. - This has to be like a paid review. - There has to be a paid review. - No way would someone write this.

This is insane! Look at this! Sexcalibur immerses players in a fantasy visual novel where they guide a perverted protagonist on his quest to form an order of loyal knightly sex slaves. The gameplay section has more dialogue than the amount of gameplay options available to you in terms of dialogue. This is ridiculous. Yeah, and the only thing he's saying here is make decisions to reveal alternative scenes and perspectives, adding variety without altering the main plot.

- You're tripping, bro. Engage with five unique female knights. - If this is real, I'm worried. This should not, no. - That is insane. It's so long. Good, engaging storyline, diverse characters, high quality graphics, customizable experience. Ways of improvement, more interactive voices. - This has to be a fake review. - There's no way. - Oh my God.

Yeah, they're all like positive. How is that possible? Recommend it. Who the fuck else is going to play as other people here? Yeah, of course. This guy's 2,500 reviews. What is he reviewing? What is this guy reviewing? Sniper Elite Remastered. 101 Cats. War of Sea. Oh my God. Oh my God. Look at all the porn games this guy's reviewed. Yeah, they're all the porn games. He's reviewed so many porn games. Holy fuck.

- This guy's a porn connoisseur. - Did I see that right? Page one of 260. - He has 2,500 reviews. - And he's reviewed 101 cats. Wait, oh wait, he's, this is pretty like, I don't know why he's trying to farm reviews. He's farmed this one game like a million times and every single, what is this? - Oh my God, this is so funny. There's so many porn games.

- How? How is this possible? - That's wild. - Weird, man, weird. Well, yeah, I mean, I just, this game, like, if anything like this, there's no way in hell I'm ever seriously playing an Erigase. - Yeah, again, again, I would say 90 to 95% of Erigases I've played and probably exist out there are no different to what you just played. - I mean, it's a visual novel. - Yeah, and the remaining 5% actually have a good story. - Well,

Some have a better story than this. Yeah. Most have a better story than this, I feel. There was no story here. Yeah. So, um, wanna review? Fucking Gun Guru Girl is still better. Yeah, Gun Guru Girl is still better somehow. Somehow. Somehow. And that's a fucking Flash game. I regret that I paid money to play this game, unlike every other Flash game that we played. It was like 16 quid. It was expensive. Yeah, I know!

Probably the 16 quid people buy for the 50% off the Levent. - I gotta remove this from my steam library. I gotta do how you did that. I gotta do that, Jesus Christ. - Yeah. But I want to talk about my actual favorite

unironically my favorite game. - Okay. - "Love in Deep Space." - Yes, we finally played it. - We finally played "Love in Deep Space." So before I talk about my experience with it, I wanna hear your boys' experience with "Love in Deep Space." - I mean. - It's a game game. - It's a game, all right. - I was kind of confused.

Because it opened up and there was like a sci-fi story. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, did I download the wrong game? Yeah, I downloaded the wrong game because it opened up and it was like the wormhole, the gravitational, the deep space. It was like Mass Effect. I was like, what the fuck is this? I do. Okay. One, some things I will say about this game. One, very pretty game. Gorgeous looking game. Two, um,

I like the, you know, the gameplay quote unquote is pretty all right for a mobile game especially. I did like how you could customize yourself though in the game. - Yeah, I didn't do that. - I customized it so you can not only customize the look but you could also customize the voice

And I made my girl sound like she's talking through a fucking McDonald's like drive-thru speaker. So the entire time it's like you're interacting with a girl and you know, she's like, yeah, she's like, you know, who's the first girl that you meet? Like the short haired girl. She's like, oh, I see that you're a new cadet as well. And then it's like, no. - Yeah, I can't wait to go on the next thing. - This place is more dangerous than it seems. We should get out of here and think about our next move.

The first couple of dialogues was quite stiff. I felt like it wasn't very good and I was kind of like, okay. And the visuals were very, very nice. It was actually kind of a, I feel like a much better phone experience than an emulator experience. Yeah. And that's probably why it's not available on any emulators. Yeah. Sorry, any...

a PC client. Yeah, I had to kind of emulate a phone on my PC to record it. That was kind of annoying. It didn't really work a great deal on phone. Yeah, sure, sure. But then I was really confused because I met Xavier and he's very dreamy and very nice and very helpful. And then when I started combat and I was like, what the fuck? I'm like, wait, this is a game? Yeah, I was confused because I was like, wait, this is like...

a modern mobile game combat system. - Yeah. - Kind of akin to like Genshin. And I was like, what the fuck is this? And I was really confused. - No one's talked about this before. - I was like, wait, I'm not gooning yet? - Yeah. - When do I goon? - I have to work for the goon. - Yeah, what the heck?

but it kind of made me want to like play more 'cause I wanted to get to the parts where I could goon, but I didn't have a lot of time actually. So I had to stop about 25 minutes in. - I couldn't get to any goon scenes. - Well, a kid came on screen and started talking and I closed the game. I was like, "No, I'm done. I don't want to hear this kid talk." - Okay, one thing I will say about this game is that it throws so much at you right from the get go. - I feel like this is a problem with most games

- There was like 50 menu options and I'm like, where is the goon? In this sea of menu, I'm trying to find where are the goon scenes that I keep seeing in the ads and that people keep talking about. And I was just like clicking through, I'm like, no, I don't want to fucking customize my room. I don't give a shit. Let me goon. - Yeah, so,

To preface one thing, so Sydney's episode came out, we talked about Love in Deep Space. We also had Emily on as well. And we didn't talk about Love in Deep Space. So when Sydney's episode came out, Sydney got like 50 angry messages from Emily.

Wait, why? Being like, how dare you don't talk about the gameplay or the lore? What do you mean you don't care about the lore? It should have been me, not you. How dare you? They wanted to talk about Nosferatu. I don't give a shit about.

Emily was annoyed we didn't talk about Love and Deep Space. - Oh my God. - Emily was so annoyed that we didn't talk about Love and Deep Space. And she hasn't forgiven Sydney since for their episode because Emily did actually want to talk about how much she loves like the law and the characters and the gameplay. - It's so funny 'cause Sydney was like, I just,

- I just want a goon. - Love the goon. - Because I was curious about your guys' experience because I'm sure what I've realized talking to Sidney was the gooning is actually a very, very small part of the game. - Yeah. - Yeah. - That's why I was disappointed. - I noticed that. Well, actually I was kind of personally surprised and disappointed.

- Pleasantly surprised. - I wanted to goon, but I understand I had to work for it. - Yeah. - Yeah. - You really have to work for it. And so she was telling me like some of like the more spicier scenes, you have to like really get to know the characters. And from what I understand,

get close to their bonds and increase their level to get some of like the better dates. And some of them are part of Gacha systems as well. - Yeah, you can also like pay to goon, right? - Yes. - I loved how I went to one of the stores and I noticed the system was called privilege. - What? - One of the paid currency just had the tab privilege. And I was like, that's so fucking base. - You gotta build up the privilege. - I was like, that's so honest. Yeah, you do have, this is a privilege.

Spending this much money to goon is a privilege. How do you gain privilege? With money. Real money. Oh, of course. Yeah, that makes sense. Is that what the currency in this game is called? No, but one of the tabs was labeled that. Right. What are you doing? What are you trying? The Google Drive? Yeah, Google Drive. Yeah, I don't know why that mouse is like gigafucked. All right. Yeah, this mouse is... I don't know what's wrong with it. Is it just out of battery? Could be. You just reset it, right? We did new batteries. Yeah, because I want to show you boys... Oh, there we go.

- I wanna show you boys what I experienced. - Okay, sure. - Because I didn't actually, I assumed you guys would experience the game yourself. - Yep. - Whereas I asked Sydney just to show me the world. - Oh, you recorded the mobile? - Yeah, yeah, because I couldn't get the emulator working. - Oh, it was janky as fuck for me. - Yeah, so I recorded on- - Really, it worked well for me. - I think so, it was the emulator I was using. - Oh, shit. - Well. - How do I?

How do I rotate this? Because it's on a iPad. You have to download it to do that. It's fine. It's fine. We can see it. I get it. I get it. Okay. Okay.

So we can- - What the? - Whoa! So I was like, okay, Sydney, I'm sure the boys are gonna get a part of the gameplay, get a part of the world. Show me what you have spent money on, specifically what you have spent money on. So she was like, okay, let me show you this memory. It's called memories here. Let me show you this memory with Zane. - Okay. - Right? - Okay. - And so,

- I can already see Zane is wearing his military gear. - Yes. So luckily we had to, probably better that we record the iPad separately so you don't hear me and Sydney screaming in the fucking background. So here's, okay, let me set the scene. First thing that surprises me, right? I start it.

Instantly, no gooning. Actually, there's backstory. - Oh God, it's like the bad hentai where they have five minutes of text on the screen. - Literally, literally you have to work so much for this. There is so much backstory, so much story before you get anything close. And I don't understand the full context of this,

But the guys, apparently this is some alternate universe or something because in maybe, as Sydney was explaining, Emily can probably do a better job, but in this universe, in the goon universe or whatever it seems. - The gooniverse I think we call it. - The gooniverse. - Ooh, I like that. - The gooniverse.

The guys are different than the guys in the universe that you're in, of course. Because that's how you can have all the fantasy. What? Because in this universe, the men are referred to as predators. Predators?

- No fucking way. - Okay, so you can see. - Making an ordinary citizen and a predator tightly embracing each other. - Oh my God. - What?

Did nobody flag that? Maybe we should change the word? - But they're not predators in game. They're just in this universe. - In this universe. - Just in this universe. - I don't think they should be predators in any of the universes. - In the alternate universe, they're a predator. - I think you said that word, "Gooniverse." - Yeah, Gooniverse, excuse me. - The Gooniverse, yes. So all the men here are predators and...

- Don't say that so casually. - That's diabolical. - It literally says it right there. So yeah, you can see as I'm skipping through here, just how much storyline you get to. - Yeah. - Yeah. - They're setting up the world and everything. - And then out of nowhere pops this fucking scene. - Okay. - This background. So we go from a nice bedroom right here to a fucking 50 shades of gay picture.

- Sorry, 50 shades of gray. - Yeah, I had to write the first time, don't worry. God's Freudian slip. - 50 shades of gay. My bad guys, my bad. So there's 50 shades of gray ass fucking torture dungeon. And I'm like, what is the fucking law behind this, right? 'Cause apparently every predator

- Stop saying that. - This is the law. I don't know what to say, guys. I don't know what to say. Every predator has one of these. Every predator guy has one of these. - Every predator has a cage. - Every predator has a cage. Why does every predator have a cage, Garth? - Well, let me tell you, Connor. - Okay, why do all the predators have this? - Every predator is afflicted with this kind of virus, right?

- You can say that again. - Is afflicted with this kind of virus. - White hard lemonade. - And if they let the virus take over, then they cannot control themselves anymore. So they lock themselves in the cage to protect everyone on the outside. - Is this like a social commentary? - I don't know.

- Don't tell the Republicans this. - Yeah, no, right. - Fucking hell. - That is the backstory. - Oh my God. - I'm sure I got some details wrong. This is all like third hand accounts from not sitting- - How does anyone take this game seriously? - Oh no. Oh, they take it seriously, all right. So that's the premise. - Oh my fucking God. - And Zane right here is like- - Locked in. - It's like, I'm about to-

I'm about to unleash predator mode. Stand back, stand back, girl, stand back. Wait, is the volume on for this? - Yeah. - Okay. So he wants to lock himself in the cage to protect you, to protect you. But then you're just like,

I can handle it. Don't worry, Zane. I trust you. Okay, so the game makes you like zoom in closer and closer as before the scene like takes- before the scene reaches its climax. Right, of course. Before he gets full predator. Oh, he's changing. Oh, he's going predator, right? He's going predator. Suddenly furrows his brow. Grimacing, he turns away.

- No, I won't leave until you answer me. I just want you guys to see this full scene. - It's Shad, this is better than all the other games. - No, no, no, that is it. - I'll make sure you stroke his name. - And then you gotta stroke his neck and stuff. - Right, okay.

- Damn, this is well done. - Yeah, this is really, really well done. I wanted you guys to watch. We're just gonna do a live commentary on this because I think this is actually worth it. - His skin is burning hot. All right. - Okay. - Makes sense. - His skin is burning hot. All right. - Okay.

- Oh yeah, that's what they call it. - He's about to go into a frenzy. - He's about to go into a frenzy. That's what it means when they lose control. - When they go full predator. - When they go full predator, right? He goes into a frenzy. - I can't believe they call them predators. I can't believe that.

- You should go. - No, I refuse. - No, I refuse. - I walk away and lock the door to the interrogation room. - Oh shit! - You're locked in with the predator. - They said that when a predator goes into a frenzy, the desire to have what they truly want overwhelms them.

- Zane, you've gone into a frenzy before. - Oh shit. Oh man. One thing I will say- - I think these are the questions Chris Hansen asked as well. - You implanted the activator in yourself, didn't you? - It doesn't mean a predator like me won't hold the person standing in front of him. - I could not record that line. Like I was trying to be like, as a predator.

- I have a full credit to the voice actors in this game, man. These are some crazy lines to say. - You'll die. - They did an amazing job. - Yeah, honestly, okay. - Yeah, honestly, yeah. - I will say- - Voice acting in this is really good. - I will say, this conversation right here, right? Having this like close to your face, this buildup. - Yeah. - Right now we're laughing, but in the moment I'm like, holy shit, I feel my blood pressure rising, man. - No, like compared to what we played, fucking sex caliber, this is like cinema. - Yeah. - I'm like, I'm like, I'm like Zane.

- No, don't do this to yourself. You know what? I can handle this Zane. I can handle it. - It's like not surprising at all this game is doing well. Cause it's just like fucking really well done. - Get close, get close. - So he has to put on this mask. I don't know why every Predator has to put on it's like fucking Kaneki ass Tokyo Ghoul mask. But it's part of like the Predator outfit from what I understand. - Okay. - You chain him up. - It really builds up, huh? - Yeah, so you chain him up. - Naturally. - Naturally. And then this is when- - Truly bring it.

- This, this. - If you're trying to break someone's chains, don't be afraid of the danger they bring. - This is when it gets intense. - Okay, okay. - Holy fuck. - Oh my God, the animation. - Right? Right? - This is insane animation. What in the actual fuck? - Audio only listeners, I'm sure you're having a great time. - I'm so sorry, audio only listeners. We're watching a man being tied down to a chair, being pushed around.

- Okay, so there's actually quick time events to this. I was so invested that Sidney had to do the quick time events for me 'cause I kept fading them. - Stay back. - Because if you don't, if you fail the quick time event, he's gonna bite you, you know? 'Cause he's going into like frenzy right now. - What if I want that? - That's the thing. - Yeah, how hard of a bite are we talking? - I don't know what I'll do to you.

- Oh, it's stroke the nip. - Yeah, now you gotta stroke the nip. Flick the nip. Flick the nip. - Right. - Oh. - And then you got to inject him. - Okay. - And then Sydney was like, there's a pause here 'cause Sydney was screaming when he gives her this look. Wait, this one, this one, this one, this one.

- So there's a pause as Sidney was screaming in the background right here. - Yeah, you like that shit? - Yeah. - Yeah. - The frenzy enhancer? - I'm not sure what the law is right now, but apparently you have to inject that.

inject him with that to make him go into a frenzy. - Right, naturally. - You gotta get it out of his system. - Yes. - Of course. - Oh shit, he broke the strap. - Yeah, so he broke the strap and then you are...

- You examine his body, right? - I mean, he's got a great build, I will say that. - Yeah, he does. - What an amazing build. And can we just talk about like how amazing the graphics are? And then you touch his dick right there. - Whoa. - And then. - Oh my God. - And then. - Let me take what I desire first.

- Oh my God. - Oh, oh, oh. - And so you, they actually showed the kiss as well. - Oh wow. - And then this part I was really confused about. 'Cause you have to find his scanner. - What the fuck?

And you have, there's apparently a scanner or something in his body and you have to find it. I'm gonna skip ahead a little bit because we almost fail this. I almost ran out of time and fail this quick time event. I could not figure out what to do. - Okay, okay. - Because I'm me, male brain,

I'm just like feeling around trying to find his scanner. All right. What you actually have to do, what you actually have to do is fucking rub him into his comfort zone. So you see the bar up there, you're meant to rub him like hard enough. And so you get into like his fucking- - You really have to rub his nips. - He's like breathing like crazy. - He's just fucking. - He is, he is.

- The animation is insane. - It's way too good. - It is insane. - Holy fuck, bro. This makes Jujutsu Kaisen animation look like child's play. - Legit. - And so here's when Sidney just shows me. Sidney's like, "Rob him, rob him. "Rob him in a safe zone. "You're gonna fail the game. "You're gonna fail." And so you have to keep- - Oh, not too vigorous. - Yeah, not too vigorous. - Nice and easy. - Just the right amount. - There you go. - Just the right amount. - Got it. - Okay.

- I don't know, Zane. - I don't know, Zane. - Let's go down. - We're going down now? - So is this like an SSR memory? Is this like one of the best ones? - Yes. - Yeah, I was gonna say. - And then you go down, you go down on him. It is like...

- I will say, I don't think this should be on emulator 'cause you can't get the full experience unless you're like literally just like on the phone. - Just like in your face. - Just like in your face. - Jesus Christ. - Yeah. - Oh my God. - Oh my Lord. - It is like, it is fucking intense, I will say. - Yeah? What's there to do? - What did you do? - Become my prisoner, my master.

- Okay. - Yes, yes, yes. - What do you choose? - So you can actually get a good end or a bad end. - You got it. - Right, okay, yeah, naturally, naturally. Man, they're professional gooners making this game. - This is like- - This is Pete Gooner. - And that's it. - How was that? - That's it? That's where it ends? - The rest is up to your imagination. - The rest is up to your imagination. And then here's the thing that fucking blew my mind. You get an epilogue.

- You get an epilogue about- - After a firm nut. - You get an epilogue and he comes back looking like this. And I'm like, what? - Is this the real him? Non-Predator him? - I actually don't know. But I'm like, damn, okay. - The war is too deep. - Okay. Like he can be your angle or your devil. - So how much would that like in-game currency would I have to roll to get something like that? - How much privilege would I need to get that? - So the thing that after seeing that scene, number one, I just,

- Pretty well done. - Girls, girls. - They got a good man. - I get it. - We get sex caliber and you get mace. - And honestly,

I'm fucking jealous. I am jealous. That is better. That is like 10 times better than anything I've experienced. That was one of the sexiest things I've ever seen. Holy shit. Disappointed in guys that we accept. Yeah. I know. Except sex caliber. And the thing is like that came after so much fucking buildup. You have to like, you know, you, this, this is after you get to know Zane, you actually play the game. You,

get to know what kind of person he is, you've gone on other dates before, and then you get rewarded with that? Some fucking SSS tier gooning material? I'm like, holy fucking shit. They know what they're doing? Yeah, they know what they're doing. They're doing something right. That's wild. Guys, we gotta be better. What do we get? What the fuck do we get compared to that? We get Frank's Adventure in six calories. We get one PNG. That's it. That's it. Oh my god. When I was...

playing the game and we had those text messages. Yeah. And they were like, by the way, you want to see how the other dialogues go? You can just click up here. Yeah. And I noticed that like, obviously, because it was the first one they wanted to do for free, but I saw that they all cost the in-game currency. Yeah. And I was like, these motherfuckers. Sneaky boys. These motherfuckers. I was like, damn, that's like...

really smart way of monetizing what people want in the game. So, what Sydney explained, so I asked Sydney, is every date scene as saucy as this? And she said, no. Actually, a banner like this is actually pretty fucking rare.

So when a banner like this comes out- - You gotta roll. - Holy shit. - Oh, you're fucking, yeah. - No fucking wonder Love and Deep Space are swimming in money. Because if something like this only comes along once in a blue moon, then- - I'm spending money.

If this was like the opposite gender, holy shit. God, Lord, forgive me for the fucking money I'm about to drop on this band. - I'm gonna have a lot of explaining to do to the accountant. - I definitely think after this success, we'll most certainly get something like that probably. - I fucking hope so. - I don't think it'll be long until we get. - Bro, as a guy, I wanna love in deep space for guys, man. Holy shit. And I didn't realize until seeing something like this

This is just on a different fucking level of intimacy than anything for guys. - I'm curious, 'cause I didn't see it. Are you able to like play as a guy in this or just? - I don't think so. - I'm not sure. - Okay, interesting. - I'm not sure. But yeah, because there's a saucy scene like this for all the guys. She showed me one of the other ones as well. - Tender curve. Oh, right, okay.

- This is Xavier? - Same one. - This is a different guy. - Yeah, this is a different guy. - Oh really? - Yeah. - Yeah. - What the fuck? - Yeah. - This is a different person. - This is a different guy. - Sydney was telling us about where you press his dick. - Yeah, yeah. - It's just like turn off his nut button. - Yeah, so Sydney in this one actually showed me the bad ending. - Okay. - Where what happens if you felt like, the bad ending is just that he dies. I thought you die?

- He dies? - Yeah, he dies. - The predator dies? - Yeah, the predator dies 'cause you have to shoot him. - Oh fuck. - That's not a very good ending at all. - Yeah, 'cause he goes into a full frenzy and then you have to put him down. - Put him down? - Press the activator. You don't press the activator. - Oh shit. - Damn, the music's good. - Yeah, like- - Now you'll never fly away. - Oh fuck. - I'm feeling things. - Right? Right?

- Holy fuck. - That's impressive. - Yeah. - It's honestly impressive. - I was unfamiliar with your game. - Yeah. - Girls, we were unfamiliar with your game. - I'm unfamiliar with the game, you guys got it. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Fuck. - Like, holy shit. I have nothing but praise to say about "Love in Deep Space" after experiencing that. - Just don't put too much of your wallet on the line. - Yeah, yeah, aside from that. - Don't forget, gooning is free most of the time. - Exactly. - But gooning this intense.

- I'm sure you can just watch these on YouTube or on other websites too. - I don't know. - It's not the same. - It's not the same. It's not the same. - You gotta work for it. - No, it's like- - Oh yeah, you gotta put money down for it. - It's like when you go to, like you never played a persona game, but like you could, if you want to see the climax of a romance, you're like of a romance tree, you could just watch, you could just pick one girl and then watch the others on YouTube.

but I've done that and it just doesn't give you that same satisfaction. - Yeah. - You know? - I don't wanna vicariously see someone going through something like that. It's like, I wanna be a part of it. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. You wanna get to that point yourself 'cause you fucking earned that shit. - Exactly. - That's what gives scenes like this power. - Exactly. - That's what gives the goon more power. - Ultra instinct goon. - Needless to say, I guess Sydney was very excited to show you this.

I mean, I kind of had to force her because she's outing herself. Oh, wow. I saw her tweet that people were getting annoyed at her saying, you're cheating on Khan. How is that possible? Which is insane. Why do people think that playing a game like this is cheating? I don't know. I mean, she respects...

what the people I pull for in my gacha games as well. Exactly. It goes both ways. Yeah. I mean, I can understand if maybe if someone's in a relationship and that's how they feel about these kinds of things. Sure. But that's a, that's a agreement that you're a boundary. You both said like, why would you apply that to everyone? And if you're cool with it, then whatever.

- Yeah, you're cool with it. - I think most people know that it's just a fucking game. It ain't that deep. - I don't feel threatened by Zane or Xavier or whatever the fuck. - I don't feel threatened by these predators. I'm not a predator like them. - You know, it's always like, I feel like if guys ever get self-conscious about this stuff, it's like, look,

You have to take out the trash, you have to do the dishes. These are the things that don't exist in this fantasy world. We live in the real life where it's never this saucy, it's never like this. It's just not reality and you shouldn't feel threatened 'cause that's all it is, a fantasy. The same way, I'm sure that pulling a five star on this game is a fantasy. Don't do it, it's not worth it, money is expensive. - Exactly. - But yeah, I was also experiencing "Love in Deep Space." I do want more material like this for guys.

Obviously we've talked about, you know, the difference between girl-gooning and guy-gooning and girl-gooning just seems a lot more emotionally intense. - They gotta figure it out. - They gotta figure it out. But I'm like, as a guy, I'm like,

if I just wanted a quick goon, I could just watch a fucking five minute video or something. - Yeah, we got low attention span. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. We got low attention spans. But this kind of experience, I'm like, shit, I'm curious. You have my attention and I would love more experiences like this. - Especially if it was this well animated and this well voiced. - Right? - I would totally be into it. Out of context, you're like, oh shit, I shouldn't watch this in public. But like in private, I'm like,

- All the fucking way baby. - It's like Zane stop, stop saying. - You're about to make me act up. - Oh God. Let me rub your nipple more. - Fucking hell. - So yeah, that was every, that was every a gunning game that we played. I don't ironically,

I could see myself playing something like Love in Deep Space. Yeah. That seems... I mean, I wouldn't even call it a gooning game, like you said. It's a game for gooners.

Yeah, yeah, there's a difference. Yeah, it seems like the kind of game that will get you maybe in the mood and then you'd maybe do whatever it is Yeah to satiate your frenzy. Yeah, if you will You know fuck I mean guys associate we're so simple it's like five minutes. I'm done. Yeah. Yeah It's like PNG I'm satisfied. Yeah

You're like memory. We're such simple things. Yeah, one thing I realized through playing these games was like, damn, yeah, no, I just, yeah, I like hentai a lot more. True. Hentai is just pretty great. Yeah, it is on the, unfortunately, it's on the lower echelon of goon material that is available out there. And that's probably why it's not as popular as hentai or doujins.

- Yeah, I think, I don't know. I'm a visual learner. I like to watch it and I like the whole, the voice acting, the whole, the settings and how they frame it. - Okay, question then for you. Would you prefer dojins or aerogates?

Yeah. I think doujins are even better, to be honest with you. Yeah. I think to me, era games were like in this weird spot where a lot of the visual novel ones, you know, that we've ended up playing, which seems to be the predominant style that these games are. Yeah. Seems to be like halfway between a doujin and a hentai. And then it's stuck in this middle ground where it's neither and doesn't do either of them good. Yeah. Whereas at least Love in Deep Space seemed to, that kind of had the gameplay and the story building that was very strong. But then...

it was pretty much a video with a couple of interactive elements. It was a video scene where you interact with it. And I think that seems like the way forward, to be honest with you. I don't think I want to jerk it to a visual book. And I think the top tier we're talking about is that if a hentai game is so good,

- Then you can remove the hentai scenes. We've had these examples before with like Fate, for example, where there is a safe work version of Fate just because people were so invested in the story, but God damn was that reward sweet when you were able to mana transfer and all that stuff. - But that's the thing, I think a good eroge should be the guni material is an option.

not the main focus. And it should be the thing where it's like, oh, okay, well, I don't mind seeing, you know, going into my Guna territory with this particular story because it, you know, the way that the story is structured is,

it is natural to go into, you know, those like more adult scenes. But yeah, again, like with Fae, like with a lot of like the best areas out there, it's just like you enjoy it for the story and for the characters. And, you know, it's like getting paid at work and then receiving a bonus. Yeah, exactly. It's literally that. The sex scenes are the bonus that you get at the end of the month. Yeah. These are just ass. Yeah.

- This is so bad, man. - It's unfortunate you didn't get to actually experience like the good ones. - Yeah. - 'Cause they would just take too long. - Yeah. - Yeah, 'cause I, you know, the thing, sorry, doujins, I think they shut up when I read the doujins that we did for the last,

They are so good at telling the story, which is the payoff, honestly. And it's, like you said, bonus. The hentai, the visual aspect of it, they just set up scenarios really well, and then with the combination of animation and voice acting, sell you on the scene. And it's often the story is, it's whatever. It's whatever, yeah. Let's be honest. It's rare that there's both good story and good, I guess,

So they both kind of serve a purpose. And then this felt like a middle ground of like, who is this for? Like I genuinely didn't really know. - It's awkward in both directions. - Well, this technically isn't the first era gay you've played because you might have forgotten that you played- - Sayonara. - Sayonara, that's right. - That's an era gay? - That's an era gay. - I never got to the- - You never got to the sex scene? - I don't think so. - Oh. - It's kind of near the end-ish, isn't it?

- I can't remember, but I remember that being a sex scene in there. - Yeah, it's definitely an area. - I think it was like an implied hand job at one point. - Yeah. - Maybe play the safe for work version.

- I don't know, I just played the one on Steam. But yeah, that was, I mean, that was a story. - Yeah. And in a story, when sometimes in a vision of like that, with the story so good, you're like, fuck, I don't even want sex scenes. - Yeah, I can't fucking get out of it. - I don't even want a sex scene. I'm just inventing, I just want to know what happens next. God damn. And I didn't realize this until playing "Sexcalibur". But holy shit, the big difference I noticed about vision novel sex scenes and just watching a hentai reading a doujin, God, they last forever.

As a kid, I don't know how I fucking sat through the sex scene lasting like 20 minutes or some shit like that. My God. So much dialogue. How much patience did I have back then? Jesus. Yeah, but that's because in the hentai, they cut out all the fucking monologuing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right? Whereas in the erogaze, you get the full, like way too detailed monologue where it's like, yeah, all right, it's...

I can see that. You don't have to tell me. I don't care about what you're thinking while you're fucking boning this girl. I don't care. Especially if it's the fucking protagonist of Sixth Calibur. It's like, I don't care. I never cared about you. What is this?

Man, yeah, what a just miserable recording experience. This is like, honestly, some of the least fun two hours of my life. Yeah. It was so shit. Suffice it to say, this will be the first and last time we do an episode like this. Oh my god, could you go back to watching animation? My lord. Yeah. Oh my goodness. I would be okay experiencing more Love in Deep Space. That's the only one I would be interested in. Just out of like- I just want to see what they got cooking. Yeah, I just-

- You know, I gotta give the respect when people have cooked and they absolutely fucking cooked in "Love in Deep Space." Unfortunately, I don't have a wife who appreciates the law and the characters who can enlighten me on that because now I know how it feels after seeing that and, you know, hearing about your guys' experience about the game and everything.

I get it when girls are like, no, this isn't just a gooning game. Cause that's how I feel whenever I have to explain like fucking Genshin Impact or Nikkei or something where I'm like, yeah, I know what it looks like, but I swear it has a law and world and characters that are interesting. I swear guys, shut the, see, this is it. This, this is exactly, this is exactly what I'm fighting guys. I'm like, yeah, it is. That's exactly what it is. And that's why it's, it's the goaded one at it.

I get what you're saying. Yeah. You don't agree? No. Okay. I don't either. Well, maybe one day, Joey. Maybe one day if we get a guy version of Love in Deep Space, I'll change my mind. Yeah, but it does feel like hentai games are getting more and more rarer nowadays because it seemed like back in the day there were so many visual novels that just had a hentai element to it or a sex element to it, but nowadays...

I mean, I think people just have- I think they're still around. It's just we've not really- It's not in our eyesight anymore. I think-

It's strange because at one point it's become a lot more accepted that you know people just watch kind of stuff and play this kind of stuff Yeah, like super normalized now. Mm-hmm, but at the same time it feels like Recently in terms of like what is acceptable to talk about or share it feels like it has been kind of hush-hush lately You're too like kind of going back a bit more a bit more conservative And so I think it's a it's a very weird time the things that are specifically like labeled as like basically pornography hmm

I think we've just now, we've come full circle where we've seen some people that I'm like, damn, you're a bit too damn bad. It's always just being in moderation. Yeah, exactly. And you kind of look at some people and you're like, all right,

I'm horny. People get horny. I'm not that horny. And I'm afraid of being associated with that kind of image. Yeah, because I think when you base your whole personality around basically porn, you've gone too far. Like that's when you've kind of lost all semblance of like class. Your personality should never be that you watch hentai.

I'm not going to play these games. You're not special. Yeah, because like, you know, it's just you goon, you're just giving into a basic human desire. It's not, it's not, it doesn't say anything about you. I think it's quite sad to, you know, we do these episodes and stuff and we talk about it. And I think,

in a way that I'd like to hope is more of a positive way of approaching this and being honest about it and recognizing that something is stupid. - Yeah, realizing what it is at the end of the day. - Yeah, yeah. So I think like, look, you can talk about it, you can play these games, you can do whatever, but like at the end of the day, don't go too deep and don't be like, "I'm gonna base my whole personality off being a gooner." Like that's not, 'cause you know, you see that now and sometimes they're like, "Oh, I can't wait to goon to this."

Maybe you should keep that to yourself sometimes. - Yeah, yeah. - There is no harm. - Keep the draft. - Yeah, in keeping the stuff to yourself and being a bit more thoughtful with it and just not, don't let it become, don't let gooning be your personality. Is what I'm trying to get at. - I mean, all I'm gonna say is when I was heavily into playing error games and stuff like that in high school, I wasn't fucking going around being like, guys,

You want to hear about the latest fucking goon game I played well, it's now it's like based Back then I didn't fucking say cuz I didn't want to get beaten up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that was that's the simple math I didn't want to get beaten up There's some charm to it being like that back in the day when it was a bit more you to be you to be a bit more conscious about when you talked about it

- Yeah, exactly. - Yeah, exactly. - I don't know, I never talked about it back in the day. - No, you wouldn't. - Who could you talk about that to? - No, you couldn't. - Bro, I remember the first time I watched it, I was so fucking embarrassed to myself. - Yeah, I couldn't talk about it to a thing. - I was like, oh shit. - I don't think you should be embarrassed about watching it, right, at the end of the day. - Yeah. - Yeah.

- I think- - Just don't make it your whole personality. - You shouldn't be saying it to anyone and everyone. There's like some personalities they don't want to talk about. It's not a thing you should bring up all the time. - Yeah, because I've- - It's with the boys. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 'Cause I talk about hentai with these boys because these boys are my mates,

I generally, I've had people come up to me and be like, yo, I watched like fucking Masterpiece or a show like that. And I'm like- - Bro, I met you five minutes ago. - Yeah, I met you five minutes ago. I'm like, there's a barrier right there where I don't feel as comfortable to talk about this. - I don't even know your last name. Like you didn't have to tell me this. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm like,

I don't talk about this all the time. Obviously it seems like online where, you know, we have our jobs. We talk about this on camera and stuff. And obviously you've seen my wife's content, but you know, that's- - You gotta ground yourself. - Yeah, yeah. - You gotta be grounded. - That is what we show online and because we're comfortable with each other. - And because at the end of the day, it's really funny.

Yeah, most of this stuff's very funny. It's fucking hilarious. It is hilarious. And I think when you embrace that sometimes this shit can just be funny, I feel like it's so much healthier to just be able to talk about it and contribute with it, rather than have it just be on the depths of the Steam store. I think it's a lot more fun to be able to talk about it. I think it's interesting to me. Everyone's watching porn. Yeah, totally. I think having a more healthy discussion with it is always good. Absolutely. I don't know. Maybe I'm crazy.

but that's just a theory. - A goon theory. - A goon theory. - Why is it that when we always have a hentai episode, it's always the most civil fucking episodes? - We do get very civil. I think 'cause we don't wanna send the wrong message. I don't think we wanna get at each other's throat and be like, "Are you going to Excalibur? "Who the fuck?" I also just don't want people to think I goon to that.

That's not what does it for me. Having this power trip and peeing on people, that does not do it for me. I think this is the softest I've ever been in my life playing these games. Legit, yeah. I feel like when a scenario doesn't appeal to you, it's almost the inverse effect of like, oh, oh, oh.

Well, that was an episode. Yeah. Hey, again, if you want to check out our reactions to all the games we talked about, then you can do so by going over to our Patreon, patreon.com slash Trash Taste. Like all of these lovely patrons will be able to go do. Why don't you join them and watch...

some of the most awkward Let's Plays you'll probably ever bear witness to. - Or just watch me and Sidney react to "Love in Deep Space." - That's what I wanna see. - Yeah, that's probably the best video you should go watch. Go watch that, go watch that. - And me here, Sidney scream a lot in the background as she shows me what we just witnessed together. - Oh my God.

So you can go do that right now, as well as every single week, by the way, we do patron exclusive content as well. So after you've watched us, you know, react to this green content, you can go and check out all the other videos as well, because it supports the channel in the process. So head on over to patron.com slash trash taste. Also false on Twitter, send us a memes on the subreddit. And if you had a face, listen to us on Spotify and, uh,

No, we will not do another episode like this. We are, this is the first and last time we're going to do it. I think we can all agree on that. Let's go back to doujins. Yeah. Yeah. Let's go back to doujins. I want to go back to doujins. Yeah. Okay. We'll do it next time. All right. See you guys next time. All right. Bye.

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