Ben Schwartz: Solo Bolo Ho Ho Holo
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You know you wanna bang bang into your mouth. You know you have to. Everybody wants a listen to Scott. Everybody wants a. Freak out. It's a celebration. Hey everyone, welcome to another, you know what this means. Welcome to another solo bolo. Ho ho holo? Who?

Who knew who load the solo bolo? We're back. We're better than ever. A lot of people saying a lot of people. A lot of people are saying this. A lot of people are saying we're better than ever. Solo bolo. Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho

You know what I mean? Although Christmas and Jews? Well, Hanukkah. It's the day after Christmas this year. You know what I mean? I think, isn't Hanukkah the day of Christmas? I think it falls right on Christmas or something this year. Is it 25th or 26th? I think it's on the 25th this year. Should we ask ChatGBT or that callback won't make sense? Sure.

I'll be looking up. You keep talking. I will keep talking. Hey, everyone. This is another very special bonus episode of Comedy Bang Bang. It is so special, guys. You know what this voice means, of course. It's the holiday season episode.

And we have a very special guest for the holiday season. He is, of course, you know, not a Christian, so it doesn't necessarily make sense. I shouldn't have said anything about Judaism. No, it's going to be this. You opened the door. Well, I'm going to tell you this right now. I opened the door to the idea that you were right. It is the 25th. It's the 25th. Why do I know more about this than you? You don't have to. It's just you're a good person. I like to know about everyone's thing. I don't want a lot for Christmas. Ah.

And I... What is that song? That's, I think, what you're singing. Is that the background music? There's just things I need to know. And I... And all they want is freaking juice. Will, of course, speak... Freaking...

We're going to get every Christmas song, a Jewish anthem. Every Christmas song is a Jewish anthem. It kind of are. Rudolph the Red. No, no, no, no, no, no. And I feel weird singing this. We'll get to this a little bit later. You know what these dulcet tones mean. You know the fact that Sonic. Smooth dulcet tones. You know the fact that Sonic is coming out tomorrow. You know we had to do it.

It's another episode of Comedy Bang Bang. My name is Scott Aukerman, and I have a very special guest with me here. You know him as the elegant Mr. S. You know him as the voice of Sonic the Hedgehog, which comes out. Its third edition comes out tomorrow. Please welcome back Benny Schwa, a.k.a. Ben Schwartz is here. Sonic the Hedgehog, colon, the third edition of

Coming out tomorrow, very excited. Me, Keanu Reeves, Idris Elba, Jim Carrey, James Marsden, Tika Sumter, Natasha Rothwell, Adam Pally, Colleen O'Shaughnessy. Pally's back. Yeah, Pally's back. Pally had his own TV show, a spin-off. I know, I heard about that. God, we should get him on the horn and see what he says. We gotta get him on the horn. Why do they think they should get him on the horn? Do they talk in a horn? Hey, do you think they talk in a horn? Do they used to talk in a horn back in the 80s or something? Cut to, we find out they absolutely did. Yep.

What's your favorite part of Christmas? What's your favorite part about Sonic and what's your favorite part about Christmas? I think the same answer for both. Ben Schwartz. The general vibe. The general vibe. I love that. For Christmas and Sonic. I love that. Ben, it's great to have you back on. Of course, we've done these solo bolos so many times over the years. Is it six there? Seven? Who knows?

But we've never had one quite like this. We've done Solo Bolo. A little bit of research. We're going to take a very tiny bit of research for you to figure that out. The tiniest bit of research may have helped me in this regard. Just knowing what number we're at. We've done a Halloween themed one. We've done Solo Bolo. That had to be called Boo Lolo or something like that. I don't know what it was called. A little bit of research. I come here every year. It could have assisted me so greatly. So much.

Do you think this is the 10th? If this is the 10th, we should go all out. Okay. If this is the 10th, we should go all out. If this is the 10th, we should go all out. Whenever the first commercial break is, we check. We half-ass it. We half-ass it the second half. Okay, good. So let's ramp up as if it could be either. This could be the best one of all time. Okay, so we got to get ready. If this is the 10th, this is the best one of all time. If it's not. Okay, if it's not, we're going to check at the break. If it's not, when we come back from the break...

We're going to be downcast. It is going to be sad. It's going to be really sad. We've got to look them up. What are the things we do in a solo bowl? Yes. A lot of times we...

A lot of times we kiss on this show. We have a lot of different guests, guests of all stars, all stripes. Yeah. Ben, sometimes you're on the show. As a matter of fact, I think you may be on the next regular episode. It seems like too much bench sports to only do two comedy bang bangs a year and then have back to back seems like too much. It seems like too much, but we'll let the listeners be the judge. Okay. They'll jury an executioner. Oh, wow. But,

I will say that what are solo bolos? Yeah, what are they? Usually we have a lot of different guests on. Ben put the challenge to me once. What if we did episodes where...

We had no one else. It was just the two of us. Wow, wow, wow. And fans of our collective voice would just be going crazy during it. They would love it. They would love it so much because they wouldn't hear any of these other guests interrupting us. They would love this. It's just the beginning part of all of our other episodes. Exactly. But we stretch it out over an hour. Now, we did it once and we said, that was amazing. Yeah.

It was maybe the best episode we've ever done. We were high-fiving. I remember the high-fives. We were in the... We butt-to-butted. Oh, yeah. We were in the... What do they call it in the gym? The dressing rooms? Have you never been to the gym? The gym? Have you ever been to the gym? I've been to the gym once or twice. What do they call the dressing rooms in there? I refer to everything by theater terms. Yes, the locker room. Thank you.

It's because of my words. When we took intermission during our bicep interval and we all adjourned to the green room, backstage area. Backstage area. In any case, we went to the locker rooms. We hit the showers afterwards and we were like the best we ever did it. Yeah, I remember that. We were snapping our towels. Oh, snapping our towels. Playing our dicks like guitars. Snapping our pals. Snapping our pallies. Yeah. I remember when you were doing bicep curls and I said, okay, you have five more. And you said, thank you, five.

Yep. What other theater stuff can we do? Yeah, what else happens in the theater? I think that's everything. We did intermissions. We did Thank You Five. That's about all. That's it. Yeah. Hey, kids, if you ever want to go to theater school, those are the two things you learn. Hey, if someone came up to you and said, Scott, I want to be exactly like you. I want to be the podfather. I want to be someone that hosts their own comedy podcast. What would you tell them? I would...

probably have to murder them because I'm the only one. Coming for your job. Yeah, they're coming for me. They're coming for my neck. I get it, dude. I don't want that. I get it, dude. Yeah, but people must come up to you, Ben. Ben Schwartz is, of course, here. People know him from House of Eyes. You have to remind them from one second ago? Sure, why not? Constantly reset. This is broadcasting. So people must come up to you all the time on the street and say like, hey,

I have no idea who you are, but Sonic is my favorite thing. So I Googled like who plays Sonic because I love that voice. Sure. I saw your weird picture and then you happened to be passing right at the same second that I did this. Yeah. Anyway, what's some advice of how to do whatever it is you do? What? So you're asking the same question I asked you, but in a way that made me feel bad about myself? Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

I would say if you really love it, go after it. You can create stuff yourself. Now you have a phone. You can create if you're passionate about it. Go after it. Buy a phone. No, no, no. It's not buying a phone. Buy the best phone on the market. I'm not saying that. If you want to write, if you want to be a writer, write. There's new iPhones out there right now. It's not about that. Jesus Christ. If you want to be an improviser, get on stage and improvise. If you want to do comedy sketches, film yourself doing comedy sketches.

If it ever says like, hey, do you want to update your phone? Make sure you update your phone. You know it has nothing to do with phones. It has everything to do with phones, Ben. I guess. I guess. Celebrities have phones. Do they not? Celebrities are just like us. And you said that right off the bat. I've always said that celebrities are exactly like us. They have phones. They have pockets. They have change in their pockets. Nobody has change in their pockets. Approximately $7 to $15 worth of change. You're naming yourself. You're just saying you're a celebrity.

You don't have $7 to $15 worth of change in your pocket. No, I don't have any change in my pocket. I don't believe anybody has. Whoa, Jesus. Where'd you put my pants? Where'd you just put my pants? Aha, abracadabra, my good friend. Your pants are missing. You can't not tell me. If you went to go see a magician. Yeah, good. Let's get into this. Okay. You're a magician, aren't you? How many times do you go see a magician? Aren't you a magician of the podcast arts? Of course, all the time. How many times do you go see a magician per year, would you say?

I'd say in my life, I probably magic castle three times and I probably seem no, that's ever. And then I'd say, which I loved, I loved, and I probably seen magicians, you know, five or six more times since that. So maybe let's say 10 per week. You must be talking. Sorry. How many times you seeing a magician? Uh, I go four times a week. Definitely. And then I'll know where, uh,

I mean, that's, what is it, 220 times or so? Can you give me back my pants? I'm so cold. Okay, if you were to go see a magician and he said, okay, this is my big trick, and then suddenly everyone's pants were off. That would be incredible. And then it turned into just like the biggest fucking suck session. What are you doing? That's not the magic trick anymore. What?

No, the magic trick is over. No, the magic trick's over. This was like voluntary. So you think a full group of audience members, the second everybody's pants were off, they all get so horny. Aren't clothes the only thing keeping us from constantly having sex with each other? You're in trouble, man. You're in trouble. You shouldn't be doing this. You're in trouble. You can't talk about this. Is this the last episode ever? I was hoping there's one day you are going to... Whoa, whoa, whoa. Your pants are back. But now you gave me your pants. So where are your pants? We Freaky Friday'd our pants. Okay, but where are your pants now? On me? No, my pants are where your pants used to be. So put on something.

All right. God, your underwear is so weird. Your underwear is just a little Captain America shield over the tip of your dick. Like a little yarmulke for your fucking penis. Hey, it's the holidays coming up. Happy Honda Days. Happy Honda Days. What's your favorite Christmas song? Oh, we'll get to that when we do the Olympic Song Challenge. No, we sing the whole way through and you know it. Oh, that's right, don't we? We do the whole time. Happy Honda Days. Have you ever bought a Honda? Yeah, I had a Honda Civic for like 10 years. 10 years? Yeah.

Great. I loved it, by the way. We love the Hondas out there. Why are you doing this? Well, because Honda's one of our big sponsors during the holidays. That's not true, is it? No, yeah, yeah. Oh. Well, I mean, we sell the big bows that you put onto the Hondas. For the Honda days? Yeah, for the Honda days. Oh, that's amazing. What's your favorite Christmas song? Let's see if we can sing it. My favorite Christmas song of all time. Sorry, let's see if I know it. I'll be home for Christmas.

I'm sorry I went away. But I had to go and do some blow. What? I don't think we listened to the same Christmas records growing up. I'm pretty sure this is the exact same. Who sang that? Bing Crosby? Yeah, Bing Crosby. Huh. The Whistler.

The Whistler. The Whistler. Diddle-de-diddle-de-diddle-de-diddle. When I find a body whistler, and if I knew what I said, another serenader, another one-hand man, and me, I am the champion. And oh, but oh, but eh. You know the song? I don't know. What is that? Billy Joel. Oh, Billy Joel. The first Whistler. And then Bing Crosby took that name from him. How good are you at whistling? Whistle, don't tell me the song, whistle. Let's see if I get it. Okay. Whistle.

That's... One horse opens, hey. You know it, right? I have no idea. It's the song that ZZ Top plays in Back to the Future Part 3. If anybody got that... Do you remember what I'm talking about? Where the guitars go upside down? Yeah, I remember it. Well, that's every ZZ Top song. Sure, but I mean... It was in Back to the Future 3, wasn't it? It was the part we loved the most. Oh, you're pretty good whistling. Can you whistle sucking in?

God, this is what people listen to. I want, you know, sometimes I'm like, I wonder why people hate these so much. And then like, and then it's just us. We don't really get to listen to it after we do it. You know, no, we, we, we would never listen to these. Sometimes I do to make sure you didn't say anything so bad that ask you, like, you got to erase yourself when you said that thing about everybody fucking after they got the pants. Would you, would you love it? Uh, if this episode came out and I was muted,

And it was just your half of the conversation. That should be a special bonus. That's funny. How crazy one of us sounds. Just blasting into song for no reason. And based on nothing. And just me whistling and then 20 minutes of silence and then me whistling again. Sometimes I worry you're a ghost and I'm just talking to myself. I sometimes think that too, by the way, that I am a ghost. Yeah. Because I haunt you when you sleep. If you're a ghost, what...

You would probably check in on loved ones. Always. Yeah. Would you do that daily? Am I able to do anything to their lives or I can only look? You can only kind of look, but you'd want to check to see what's going on. Yeah, but that's kind of weird. You don't want to get in their way. You don't want to spy on your family. Yeah. What if you're spying on your grandpa and he starts jerking off? Well, yeah, putting on a show for the ghosts. Yeah, you know what I mean? Yeah, I mean... Wait, you think... Do you think people...

That's what I call masturbating. When you jerk off, you think you're doing it to put on a show for a ghost? Yeah, it's to entertain them a little bit. It must be so boring being a ghost. So every time you masturbate, it's to make a ghost to entertain a ghost. Yeah, and that's what I like about it. I do it out of a service. Do you like the movie Ghosts of Patrick Spaz?

I don't know why I feel this way. But I did not shoot that deputy. I don't know if it's right or wrong. What's that? Danny Elfman song. Oh, great. From which thing? From his solo record. Really? Yeah. Get him on the podcast. I would love it. Get him on the podcast. He was a big fan of the Comedy Bang Bang TV show. Really? Yes. He also was in a band. Wasn't he in a band? Oingo Boing?

There you go. With my friend Warren, of course. One of my favorite Tim Burton songs was, I think, Jack's Lament from Nightmare Before. Sing a little bit of it because I don't know it. Jack, he, okay, let me set the scene. Wait, wait, wait. I gotta, you gotta give me the first couple notes. If I can do the first couple notes, then I'll remember it. Jack Skellington. He's a skeleton who, he's called the King of Halloween. This is the beginning of it. He wanders around and people say like,

Here comes the king of Halloween himself, Jack Skellington. Okay. He goes into a tree or something. Well, this is perfect. He finds out what Christmas is, and he thinks Santa is cool. There are few who deny, at what I do I am the best, for my talents are renowned far and wide. I have the words in front of me, I'm cheating.

When it comes to, you know that, wait, hold up. The best part is the chorus. Go right to the chorus. Okay. It's the same. And I grow so weary of the sounds and screams. And I, Jack, the pumpkin king, have grown so tired of the same old thing. This is the best part? This is it right here. Okay.

Somewhere deep inside of these bones, an emptiness began to grow. There's something out there far from my home, a longing that I've never known.

Do you think they're going to call me to do the next Nightmare Before Christmas? I would love that. If they made a sequel and it was starring you. God, get Danny Elfman here and let's have a three, a throw a little bolo. Seriously, let Danny Elfman, if you're out there, we want to do it with you. And by the way, Ben is not- Danny, can you hear me? Ben is not accepting roles any longer that don't include me. Oh, that's true. As a secondary, I don't have to be the, I don't have to be the co-lead necessarily. Yeah, you can be one of the three kids. I'm a sainty Claus. I'm not going to accept any role. Okay, what about Oogie Boogie Man?

You know, something bigger, probably. I think a Pokemon is a huge. Okay, Pokemon is you. He's got a solo, sure, so that's okay. We shouldn't do this. I need a bigger, bigger part. You know what I mean? Bigger than the Jack Skellington or you want to be Jack Skellington? I don't want to be a co-lead necessarily as much as I want to be a lead. Do you want to be the director? And maybe you could be the co-lead. I could be the co-lead. I'll be Sally. That'd be great, right? Okay, that's fine. Yeah. Anyway, Ben is only accepting parts that include me. 2025 resolutions. I love that you've incorporated me into your 2025 resolutions. Oh my God, I love it. And by the way, I can't get more. The one thing I was like, you know the thing I need more of is more Scott.

Scott, I call it sauce on my mast. That's right. You need a little more sauce. On my mast. We should hang out more. How many times have we hung out this year together? Let's really think about it. I can think of- I can think of three at least. I can think of four at least. What do you think we did in that fourth one? We go swimming a lot. We do. We do swim a lot. We go swimming. Sometimes Ben will call me up at three in the morning and go like, let's just go to the ocean. You know what we should do? Let's just walk into the ocean. Let's go to the ocean.

Walk out the ocean. You toad the wet sprockets. Keep going. Down the shore. Baby come water. Baby come boat. We are both miming guitars. All right, we have to take a break. But when we come back, we're going to do more of the solo bolo. And guess what? We have the Olympic...

Already? Song challenge coming up in our third segment. We're going to take a break. We're going to come right back. We'll have more Ben Schwartz. And nothing else. That's it, just me. Well, you're in it too. Well, I'm here too. This is what the Solo Bolo is. We're going to come right back. This is it. If you like it, stick around. If you don't like it, turn it the hell off right away. There are 15 Solo Bolo episodes. Uh-oh. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this.

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comedy bang bang we're back and guys we have terrible news terrible news this is our eighth solo bolo first of all this is why you can't trust you can't use ai you can't use ai because you shouldn't use ai ai uh i called you ai instead of ben ben ben i want to talk to you about the ai what does the ai say well let's not even call it ai it's chat tbt which is obviously ai okay um

All I did was ask it a question because we want to show how flawed it is to show how human needs. Yes. Well, you need humans because it's so flawed. I wrote, how many solo bolos are there in Comedy Bang Bang? I will say it started off very strong. This is not a bit. I'm reading off my screen. There are 15 solo bolos, episodes of Comedy Bang Bang where Ben Schwartz and Scott Aukerman improvises as a duo without other guests. These fan favorite episodes often include chaotic tangents, catchy musical improvisations, and absurd comedy bits. This is all true. Here's the full list of solo bolo episodes. Okay.

Solo Bolo 1, oh, episode 121, Solo Bolo. And you said this wrong. 285 is Solo Bolo. Okay. Episode 198, Return of Solo Bolo. Nope. Solo Bolo Doslo. Okay, well how about this? Episode 230, Solo Bolo Doslo. Episode 266, Solo Bolo Cinco. Solo Bolo Trolo.

285 Solo Bolo. This is not a bit. Solo Bolo Rocky IV. No, Solo Bolo Quattrolo is next. Next one is episode 306, Folo Solo Bolo. We do have Solo Bolo Cinco. That is their fifth one. Okay. Oh, that's not that bad. Episode 317, Solo Bolo with Cheeseburger. Not a bit. Episode 335, Solo Bolo Squeezy Balls. Squeezy Balls? Not a bit.

362 Christmas Solo Bolo. No, we've never done a Christmas Solo Bolo. This is our first one. Solo Bolo The Lobster. Solo Bolo Eye of the Tiger. Solo Bolo Billy Joel. Solo Bolo Miss Piggy. Solo Bolo and More Part 2. Solo Bolo Diamond Jubilee. We have to call the 10th one. Diamond Jubilee. Okay, so we have to do two more after this.

And then we hang it up. So now, what do we do? We just hang this? I guess. But I'll tell you the other ones are Solo Bolo Sonicolo and Solo Bolo Halo-olo. So what do we do for Sonic 2? Solo Bolo Sonic Doslo? That must have been Solo Bolo. I have no idea. Anyway, we're back. We're doing Solo Bolo. My boyfriend's back and he's better than ever. He's in trouble. A.I.

AI. Chat GBT. So you think my boyfriend's back and he's better than ever? Oh, I was doing the Hess truck one. The Hess truck's back. What's the Hess truck? The Hess truck's back and it's better than ever. But what is it? And for Christmas this year, the Hess truck's here. What's the Hess truck?

Really? Yeah. What is it? Tell me about it. You're going to find out something nerdy about me. Oh my God. My dad collected them, I guess. We would get one every year. Every Christmas, they release a different toy Hess truck. And we used to get them. It's H- My dad went to the gas station a lot, I guess. H-E-S-S? Yeah, that's the gas. He went to the gas station a lot. He would buy- Interesting guy. Interesting guy.

It's just a gas station in Cuscinato. It's like how you and I go to the fucking ocean at three in the morning. You know what I mean? Hey, wake up, everyone. Where are we going, Dad? Dad, wake up. We're going to the gas station again. Dad, you don't even need gas. You have a full tank. By the time we get there, we'll have room. Jesus, Dad.

Oh, man. But this is a time to be around family. That's why you and I are hanging out. Nobody in our family. No one allowed. Nobody allowed. You know, it's like no girls allowed. There's no family allowed. I see your hand. You're about to count something. I am at one, two, three. I'm counting my fingers. That's right. What was your favorite Sesame Street character? Was it the Count?

Um, you know, I never liked the count because it's like there's got to be more to life. Wow. He's the most Jewish one. You think that's why you don't like him? You think the count is the most Jewish? Of course. Kermit. Kermit. Why is Kermit Jewish? Worrying about stuff. Oh, Scott. Scott, there's so much anti-Semitism world. What are you doing?

I'm just saying. Say what? Go. He's always worried about stuff. I'm worried about anti-Semitism in the world. Ugh, no. And I'm trying to address it here. Tell me why you think Kermit is Jewish. Go. For real. Tell me one thing. He's God. Don't. I'm telling you. You have a path. What is it about? You have a road diverged by yellow wood. And you were about to pick the wrong path. Here's a question for you. What do you think are the traits that Jewish people have? No.

Great people, very kind and comforting. And is Kermit not all of that? Holy shit, you're right. It's Kermit. It is Kermit. Canonically Jewish. Kermit should be canonically Jewish. Is there anything you didn't respect in the comic? I guess the Miss Piggy of it all. The fact that he's eating ham.

Ew, now we're just thinking about Kermit eating out Miss Piggy? Yeah, what is wrong with you? Have you ever thought about that to this extent? No, now I'm thinking, are they actual slaps of ham? Stop it. Stop it.

Stop it. Stop it. Did you ever meet Frank Oz? No, I've always wanted to. Get him on the program. He also directed my favorite musical, I think, of all time, Little Shop of Horrors. Little Shop of Horrors, such a great movie. And what about Bob? And he was Fozzie Bear. I would love to. You and I have been threatening to do the Little Shop of Horrors musical live on stage for many, many years. Let's just do it.

You know, this is real short. I got offered the dentist in a production of Little Shop of Horrors. Didn't end up doing it. Couldn't figure out how to do it. Couldn't figure out how to do it, meaning you're a bad actor? Yeah, I went on stage. They go, and here comes somebody, and I went in and I go... Did you ever do plays? Only one play. Do you ever have dreams about suddenly you're in a play and you don't know what you're doing? No, but the one that I have is... See, when you're an improviser and you go out there with

out knowing what to do. I go on with a script and I'm like, what do I do? Yeah, you have backwards streams. You're like, how do I read this thing?

I can't believe we're almost done with the podcast. Can you imagine? No, unfortunately, we still have about 30 more minutes to go. Do you still talk to anyone who you went to high school with? Yes. High school. No, don't big time anybody. High school, I talked to, by the way, not as many. I'll say like two or three. You know, as the years go by. The years go by. Those were just a few short, precious years. They were formative years, certainly. But why do we play such important songs? I love this song, by the way.

I do have a chain. This is a real story. I was invited recently to be the, you get invited to a lot of things. Little shop of horrors. This, I know two things. I was invited to be the commemorative speaker. That's not it. What's this called? Commencement. Commencement speaker. God, we're now commemorating speakers. It's just a coin of me. Um, uh,

commencement speech. And so, by the way, a lot of work, more work than things are going to be because you got to write. That's the thing is like, it's always an honor to get these things. Never, you should never do it. It was so much work. And then like, and I had no time to write it. And I remember I was rewriting it while I was on tour. I had a show the night before. I took a plane that night, woke up at six in the morning. Anyway, one of the things I talked about. Sound barrier. I didn't break it. So one of the things that I talked about was this, is that the, when we graduated, me and a group of seven people were on a chain of,

that said, I'm home. A text chain? An email chain that said, I'm home. And we have continued the same chain since 2003. Same email chain. Wow. 20 plus years. Same email chain. Hey, Brett, Chris. Hold up. Hey, Brett, Chris. Now you're just making up names.

marlin wayans is on this me you graduated high school with marlin wayans most of my forgetting no i said harlan harlan harlan wayans harlan if you're listening i don't know if you listen to company bang bang i wonder we'll never know does frank us for out frank if you're out there we love you you do the voice of yoda yeah oh my god he did he created that whole like call him call the phone here we go i want to talk to you oh god i can't wait for hello hello

Reached Frank Oz, you have. That's his voicemail. Wait, maybe it hasn't. Frank? Tone that message, beep. You must leave. I fucking forgot how to do this. Oh, Jesus. Jesus. Okay, anyway, just leave a message.

Frank, hey, what's going on, man? It's Ben Schwartz. Hey, man, it's Scott Ackerman. Oh, yeah. And we're both here. We want to leave a message. You don't know me, but if you cast Ben in anything, you got to cast me in it. Pending, pending, pending. But you don't know me either, probably, but we're huge fans. Hey, man, we love you, buddy. We're huge...

We're huge fans. We just wanted to say we'd love to have you on the podcast. It's Scott's podcast. Sometimes it is called Solo Bolo. Would love to have you. You've directed some of our favorite movies. We want to know about a lot of things. You've had your hand up, Miss Piggy, for centuries at this point. Scott, don't. What? Don't. Was he Miss Piggy? He was Miss Piggy. Huh. Here. Okay. I'm sorry. We're messaging. We gotta hang up. Okay. Talk to you soon, Frank. Okay. Let me do Yoda. Let's go.

How about this one? Ready? Mr. Sandman. What? No, don't do Gilbert Gottfried. What do you want me to do? Make him the cutest that I've ever seen. Oh, pussy. Pussy? Pussy. Jesus, you're filthy today. Hey, I'm going to do Miss Piggy and Yoda back-to-back.

You tell me who's who. Okay, everybody, if you have socks on, take them off now because you're about to knock them off. Scott Aukerman, right? Saucy Scotty is about to do both Miss Piggy and Yoda talking to each other at the same time. This hasn't been done since Daffy and Bugs talk to each other in a Looney Tunes cartoon. I will count you in. Are you ready? What count are you going to give me? I'm going to count like the cone. Okay. From what to what? From 20. 20. 20 down to what? Down to...

19. Down to 19? Okay, that's a good count. 18. 17. This is really giving me a lot of time to prepare, so I like that. 16. 15. 14. Okay, just 13 more numbers to go.

Twelve. Aueo. Aueo? Ten. I'm sorry, Calum. I hate to interrupt. Did you just say Aueo? Nine. What? After ten and before twelve is Aueo.

All right, I'm not disputing. I mean, you're the expert on numbers. Sliver. Wait, I got interrupted. Did you just say Steiger like Rod Steiger? Sliver. Slider like sliders? Between six and eight is sliver.

Five. Saliva? Floor. I know that's not right. Trees. Floor and trees? Usual suspecting the room? One. Zero. I didn't know you were going all the way to zero. Are you doing negative numbers at all? Negative one. This is more time than I needed to prepare. Now I feel like you've iced me a little bit. Go.

Kermit. Kermit. Green you are, just like me. Hello, Kermie. Hello, Kermie. You are green. Green you are. Muppet Show, you run. I am a ghost. You've been doing this by yourself the whole time.

I haven't gotten to the Miss Piggy part yet. You just did Piggy. No, I didn't. I've been doing Yoda the whole time. You have not. You talked to Piggy. Rewind the tape. Someone rewind the tape. You absolutely did Piggy. No, the Kermie part, that was Yoda.

That was a 100% Yoda. No, play the tape back. Kermie. Hello, Kermie. Kermie, you are. No, that sounds like fucking Yoda. Lando Calrissian, I know. He does? Good buddy of mine he is. Is he? Is that canon? He gets me in places. I don't think that's true.

He can get me into any bar in Galaxy. I don't think any Star Wars is Yoda explaining that Boba Fett can get him into different bars. I sit on someone's shoulders and we put trench coat around us. That sounds like a Kermit thing. Everyone thinks...

The Kermit thing. Yeah, he did that once. Keep going. Everyone thinks. Everyone thinks that I am big, big man. No, but you're a little Kermit. Lando Calrissian. Cool. He really is. And he gets you in places, right? Gets me in places. He does. Yeah.

that fun to think about Yoda like bragging about his good friend Lando? You didn't even specify what it is. Like what is Yoda? An F.A.O. Schwartz or like a bar? Like bars, I guess. Like who's turning Yoda down to bars? I guess you gotta ask him. You gotta ask Yoda. Yoda, Yoda, Yoda, where does Boba? He hasn't even let Miss Piggy have a word in edgewise. Where does Boba Fett get you into? Hmm.

Mmm, me like to go to cantina. Me like to go to cantina? Now me sound like... Me so sound like... No, don't do that Star Wars character. You could have done... Me so sound like Jar Jar now. No, don't. You can't do that. We can't do Jar Jar now? No, of course not. Why? It's 2025. Grow up, dude. So Jar Jar is off limits to us? I think so. Now aliens are off limits to us? Can I even be doing Yoda? Yeah, you could do Yoda. Why? I don't want to anymore. Why?

I can't wait to take another break. Can you imagine taking another break right now? How awesome that would be. Do you think this would be one of the best? Do you think this is top five? I think this is definitely top eight. We have to. Now, okay.

We always thread that it might be the last one, right? Yeah. And people sometimes would like to take us up on that thread. Of course, the people hate this. But also you have like a thousand, you have 51 episodes, 52 episodes a year, more. No, we're almost 900. This is episode 896, I believe. Wow. Can you imagine? Do you have a, when you hit a thousand, do you think you'll stop or no? Yeah, of course. Before then. Really? Yeah. I'm stopping in the middle of this one. Okay.

No, we're going to take a break. What are you going to do for your 1,000th? Have you thought about it before you take this break? I haven't even thought about it. You've got to do something huge. Let's go to The Wizard of Oz. Let's go to Dave and Buster's. Oh, God, I would love that. You're doing a bit. I would love that. Let's go to Dave and Buster's right after this. Do you want to? Yes. Okay, great. Okay. All right, we're going to take a break where you'll hear...

words from our sponsors like Dave and Buster's. They're not. They're not. And happy Honda days. We're going to hear all of the commercials. When we come back, we're going to have the Olympic song challenge Christmas style. This is very exciting. We're going to be right back with more Solo Bolo Ho Ho Holo after this.

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We've all got a thing. For me, it's vintage furniture. And now talking about how I found it on eBay is like my whole personality. Even at 2 a.m., when I can't get 19th century sofas off my mind, I'm on eBay for sure, scrolling my favorite seller's storefront, setting search alerts and building the watch list of my literal dreams. I know antique lamps aren't everybody's thing, but the best part about eBay is it doesn't matter what you're into. Fashion, car parts, trading cards, it's all there. So go find the thing that keeps you up at night. eBay. Things. Things.

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The shockingly smooth taste is rich and aromatic with distinctive hints of toasted oak from the bourbon casks, making it perfect for cocktails. Martell Blue Swift. Defy expectations. Enjoy our quality responsibly. Comedy Bang Bang. Solo Bolo. Ho, ho, ho. Is that what he sounds like? I've never heard him before. You've never heard Santa Claus before? No. Is that what he sounds like? Okay.

Let me do like what we call in the business an audio lineup. Oh, what's that? Okay. So this is, you know how when someone assaults you, you go to the police station. You shouldn't say anything. Right. Don't say assaults me. But yeah, I understand. You know, when you've been assaulted, like at least. No, not something we should joke about. 78 times in your life. No, literally not something we should joke about. You've gone down to the police station this many times. Okay. And you have a lineup of people. So what's an audio?

audio line an audio lineup i'm gonna give you five different people one of them is santa oh i love this game come on scott let's go and this is before we this is not the game this is not the olympic song no no and this is uh how like you basically someone broke into your house last night i get it and you heard who it was they left presents and i have to know who the hell it was okay okay i'm not okay i'm closing my eyes five five is a lot three all right number one five number one okay come up to the mic and talk into it

Hey, I'm going to leave these presents over here for you. That's not him. I don't think that's him. All right. Number one, step back. Number two, step forward. So they're not even saying ho, ho, ho. They're just saying the sentence they said when they dropped the presents. Yeah. Okay. All right. Number two, step forward. Hello. Have you ever... Would you like to buy some encyclopedias from me? That's probably him. That's probably him. Can I ask a question to number two? Yeah, go ahead. Ask a question, yeah. Can you say ho, ho, ho?

Okay, never mind. I thought maybe that his ho-ho-ho would be perfect. Okay, not him. Excuse me. Oh, Steve Martin. All right, bye. Bye, see ya. Okay, yeah, he can go. Okay, so there's three left. Oh, wait, no, he's a criminal. No, no, stop him before you... You don't think he's a criminal? Oh, he was... No, we took him out of a jail cell to put him in this audio line. I totally forgot. Anyway, he's gone now. Three more. All right, number three, step forward. Can you just say ho-ho-ho, number three?

Well, say ho, ho, ho. I'm trying. Hi. Just say ho, ho, ho. I'm trying, sir. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Is that it? Oh, no. Ho, ho, ho. Say ho. My mouth doesn't do that, sir. Now, police officer, I can't tell if this is him avoiding to do it because he is the assailant. So is it possible for you to... This is the problem with audio lineups. They...

Quite honestly, they can do any voice they want. And there's nothing legally stopping them. Oh, so I can't ever really find out who it was. Number four, step forward. Okay, let's hear his ho-ho-ho. Can't believe we're at five. It's way too many. Hello, pardon me. Oh, boy. Pip-pop here. What are you? Sir, can you say ho-ho-ho? Can I say what now? Ho-ho-ho. Ho-ho-ho.

It wasn't him. That felt disgusting. I never want to hear that again. It wasn't him. So who's number five? All right, number four, you can go. Okay, so three. Oh, wait, no, he's a criminal too. So three didn't say ho, ho, ho. So three, can you just say ho, ho, ho? Hi. Number five. This is number five? No, I thought you said two. No, five. Oh, and I'm gone, by the way. Yes, yeah. I came back just for this. My eyes are closed.

All right, number five, step forward. Here we go. Oh, step forward, you say? Scott, Scott, Scott, Scott. Step forward. Scott, this could be him. This could be him. Oh. Sir, sir. On Dasher. On Prancer. Oh, my God. Oh. Okay. Rudolph, everyone else. Can you say, sir, can you say? I'm not going to say everyone's name. Can you say ho, ho, ho, sir? Barf. It was three. Lock him up for life.

Lock them up for life. For life. Okay. You tell everybody what this Olympic Song Challenge is. All right. And then this is it. This is probably our last Solo Bolo. Well, I mean, we got to- Unless another Sonic comes out. Unless we get to the- What was the Diamond Jubilee? We got to get to the Diamond Jubilee. That's when we retire it, right? Yes. So we need two more. At 10, we retire. So you need two more Solo movies. I also- We all assume we're Sonic movies, Solos. His name isn't Solo? No.

Would it be too hard to convince them to change the theme to Solo Bolo? It's based off a video game from 1981. Solo Bolo the Hedgehog? No, it's not going to make sense. All right, here we go. Ready? The Olympic Song Challenge. What this is is Ben and I love to sing, obviously, and we do this. That's right. That's the snowman. We'll be hearing more from him during our best ofs.

Um, but we do, what we do is we start off singing a song and then that leads us somehow either through a lyric or through a melody, uh,

or even just through our own demented brains. Wow. It leads us to another song, which then leads us to another song, which leads us to another song. And we're going to keep going. All made up on the spot. Nothing thought of before. All made up on the spot. The longest I feel we've done it has been 12 minutes or so. That's amazing. But it's almost based off of like, there's this improv exercise where you sing a song, another person gets your back. But you usually do that with like six people. But this is just two people going back and forth. How about this? Has a solo bolo ever been on the top

How many do you count down? 10 or 20? It changes every year depending on how many votes there are. But Solo Bolo has, I believe, won very early on. Okay. So if we ever get number one, we'll retire Solo Bolo. Sure. So that makes people who hate Solo Bolo would have to vote for him. This one is not eligible for this year, but next year's voting. If you want this to stop, you have to get this to number one. To number one.

All right. But before that, we have an Olympic song challenge to do. And this is going to be special Christmas themed as often as we can. I would love to return to holiday music. Ben is blowing his nose in preparation. Yeah, I just have a lot of like everything out stuffed up a little bit. Yeah, of course. We want a clear, clear nose for this.

We want to return to holiday songs as much as pop. Do we? We never plan this. As much as possible. We'll just see. As much as possible? This is a solo bolo ho ho holo. I guess. I don't know. So we're going to see. I'm going to start it off with a Christmas song. We're allowed to use Christmas songs or Hanukkah songs. We are allowed to use these songs. Here we go. This is the solo bolo ho ho holo Olympic song challenge. I'm going to record from my phone as well. All right. Here we go.

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire. Jack Frost nipping at your nose. Although it's been said many times, many ways.

Merry Christmas! I hear the sleigh bells ringing, they're ring-ding-ding-a-ling too. Oh yes, it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with you. And I've been up calling and things are calling you. Yoo-hoo!

Oh, yes, it's lovely weather, of course. Lay it right together with you. It's raining men. Hallelujah, it's raining men. Hey, yeah, it's raining men. Strong, strong, big and hard. Absolutely. Oh, my God.

It's raining men. Hallelujah. It's raining men. It's raining men. Men. Men. Men. Men. Men. I feel like a woman. Hey, boys. Hey, boys.

The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round. The wheels on the bus go round and round all through the town. The town, the town, the town, the town, the town is on fire. The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire. We don't need no water, let the motherfucker burn. Burn, motherfucker, burn. The roof is on fire.

We don't need balls. To the sweat drops on my balls. Oh, blim, blim, blim, blim, blim, blim, blim, blim, blim, blim, blim.

The window. The window. The window. The wall. The window. The window. We're off to see the wizard. The wonderful wizard of Oz. The wonderful wizard of Oz. The wonderful wizard of Oz. The wizard of Oz. The wizard of Oz. The wizard of Oz. The wizard of Oz. And I'm here defying gravity. Come look at me. I'm defying gravity.

In gravity. And whatever wizard there was or ever was will never, ever stop me from defying. We didn't start the fire. But it always started since the man been going. We didn't start the fire. Cause it always started since the world been turning on and on. All the people walking down the street. Oh, good. Falling down and I don't want to be. No, no, no.

That's when they find. I said that we got the beat. We got the beat. We got the beat. Yeah, we got the beat. Everybody wanted the beat. We got the beat. Everybody wanted the beat. We got the beat. When you want. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom

Chestnuts on an open fire. Chestnuts on an open fire. Christmas time is here.

Christmas time is here. Just hear the sleigh bells ring.

Bells ringing, they're ring-ding-ding-a-ling. Do-do-do-do-do-do. Oh, yes, it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with you and you and you. Outside the snow is falling and friends are calling you-hoo. You-hoo. Oh, yes, it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with you, with you, with you, with you, with you. Didn't start the fire. It was always burning when the world was turning. You didn't start the fire. And it was all been done until they'd all been on.

Sing us a song, you're the piano man. Sing us a song tonight. Well, we're all for a melody. And you've got us feeling all right. La-di-da, di-di-da. Do-do-do-do. La-di-da, di-di-da. Da-da-da. Dum-da-dum-dum-dum.

Good night, sweetheart. Well, it's time to go. Good night, sweetheart. Well, it's time to go. You've heard us say good night. Now it's time to go. Good night, sweetheart. Good night. Memory. Ow. How'd you get there? Good night, little night music. Good night.

To cats. I saw cats and a little night music in the same theater. That's how I got there. Is that true? Yes. When you kiss. Some enchanted evening. When I find your true love. When you find your true love.

Across a crowded floor. From the windows to the walls to the sweat drip from my balls. Get low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low. Apple-bottom jeans and a dress with the fur. And we didn't let her get low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low,

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer had a little shiny nose. And if you ever saw him, you would even say he glows like a light bulb. Follow the other reindeer. You still laughing? Call him name.

The name of the Randall Rudolph. Join me, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear

With your nose so bright, oh, won't you guide my sleigh tonight? What's this? What's this? There's magic everywhere. What's this? What's this? There's magic everywhere. What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? What

And a hole in his head Send in the clowns Send in the clowns Don't bother Don't cry for me Argentina We were supposed to be

together. And then my wild days don't deny my existence. I kept my promise. I kept my distance. It's the final turn. Boom.

Gonna fly now.

Oh, say can you see by the stars early light what so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming

Oh, say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave

For the land of the free and the home of the brave.

One step. I steal only what I can't afford. And that's everything. One jump. Prince Ali, fabulous he, Ali Abub.

Strongest and powerful man down to one knee. He gave a galloping gourd. A hundred bad guys with swords. Who send the goons to their lord by Prince Ali. I'm the greatest lover ever.

50 ways to leave your lover. So get out the bag, Jack. Then get a new plan, Sam. Don't need to be coy. Just need to be free. You can call me Al. You can call me Al. Call me Al. Call me Al. Call me Al Yankovic. Call me Al. Call me Al. Call me Al Yankovic. Call me Al. Call me Al. Call me Al Yankovic. I'm fast.

I'm fat. I'm fat. You know it really bad, Isaac. I'm fat. I'm fat. You know it. Who's fat? Melanie. What can the problem be, sweet Melanie? Oh, why won't you go out with me? I got a new duck.

Oh, we're just doing Weird Al's special? Wanting to quack all night. Talking about my generation. Heart attack. You ought to know about it.

You ought to know by now. Everybody won't get on my band. And why are you getting on my brand? But if that's such a waste of time. I don't care anymore what you say. This is my life. Go ahead with your own life. Leave me a bottle of red. A bottle of white. Take my hand.

Oh, Bob Moran. You got me rocking and rolling, rocking and reeling, Bob Moran. I'm defying gravity. Hey, look up.

there asshole I'm defying gravity not over there but here asshole defying gravity you're gonna be popular

The leader of the pack. When I was young, just a bad little kid. I might have known the funniest things I did. Like shooting puppies with a BB gun. Our boys and guppies. And when I was dumb.

I found a pussycat and shod his head. That's what my momma said. What did he say?

He said, my boy, I'm something to find a way to make your natural tendencies pay. You'll be a dentist. You have a way of making things pay. Oh, you'll be a dentist. You'll be a dentist. And then that means you get free cocaine. Cocaine. Well, peppermint comes from my cocaine. And when I snorted, you know I said, I do not sniff a cocaine.

I only smoke since a meal. Do not sniff. The Dutchie on the left hand side. You said. The Dutchie on the left hand side. I'm the scat man. Because I'm the tax man. Yeah, I'm the tax man. Oh, good one.

Yesterday. Oh my God. All my troubles seem so far away. And I know that they are here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday. Why? I suddenly see more standing beside me. You don't need no makeup.

Don't have to pretend. Don't have to pretend. Suddenly see more. It's here to provide you with sweet understanding.

Tell me this feeling will last till forever. Tell me the bad times are clean, washed away. And something about that, jerk off to ghost that you do just before when you're a room all by yourself. Somewhere that's green. Somewhere out there where dreams are free.

Somewhere over the rainbow, way up there.

There's a land that I dreamed of once in a lullaby. Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Go to sleep, little baby. Defy gravity. Defy gravity. And I'm here.

Defying gravity. No, don't look down. I'm defying gravity. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

C is for cookie. It's good enough for me. C is for cookie. It's good enough for me. C is for cookie. It's good enough for me. I'm talking cookie, cookie, cookie. Rubber ducky. You're the one. I did it all for the nookie. The nookie. So you can take a cookie and shove it up your... And shove it up your... And shove it up your... Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum.

I like big butts and I cannot lie. All you other brothers can't deny. When a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a ramp thing in your face, you get sprung. Like a ton of gunny nose, that butt was stuck. I can tell by the dress she wearing. It's something that I'm ain't done wearing. So, ladies. Lady what? Ladies. What? You want to get my Mercedes? Then stick it out. Push it out. Even white boys got a shell. Babies got back. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum.

Gotta get back in time. Gotta get back in time. Singing in the rain. Just singing in the rain. What a wonderful feeling. I'm happy again. Happy.

Happy birthday to you. We've come to this. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, baby Jesus and Santa. Oh, nice. And Frosty the snowman is a very happy soul with a top that now

And a big old dick. And everybody knows. Oh, there must have been some magic in that old top hat he found. Because when he put it on his head, he turned a frosty brown. Dreddle, dreddle, dreddle. We made it out of clay. Oh, dreddle, dreddle, dreddle. We made it out of clay. I had a little dreddle. I made it out of clay.

♪ Ready, ready, dreidel, I shall play ♪ ♪ Play, play, play, play, play ♪ ♪ Dreidel, I shall play ♪ ♪ Play, play ♪ ♪ Chestnuts roasting on an oak ♪ ♪ Pan, pan, fire, fire, fire, jack, jack ♪ ♪ Frost snipping at your nose ♪ ♪ Nose, nose, nose ♪ ♪ Although it's said many times, many ways ♪

Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Merry Hanukkah. Happy Hanukkah, Ben. Merry Kwanzaa to you. Merry Christmas. Happy Hanukkah. Merry Christmas, Ben. How much time was that?

god that felt like about 19 minutes is that the longest one so far maybe who knows wow wow unbelievable unreal unbelievable i enjoyed that god it's so funny when it starts it just turns into two people having fun and we can't do this in real life this is the only place we can do this is the only place we can do this where it's accepted um this is incredible well ben we're running out of time 19 minutes of six we only know what also i realized what's that is um

for most of the, for most of the, um, we replay so many of the same songs that it's like almost like, it's like when you go see, when you see bands play, you're like, Oh yeah, they're doing it. They're finally seeing suddenly see more. We're running out of time. We just have time for one final feature on the show. It's of course a little something called plug. Would you rather? Yeah.

Whoa. Scott Aukerman is my real dad. Oh. Was that Pally? I guess so. That was Plubs by Scott Aukerman Jr. Oh, thanks. Thanks, son. What are we plugging? Obviously, the reason for the season. Sonic the Hedgehog 3 is coming out December 20th in America, other countries a little bit later, and it is me. Me, I play Sonic. Colleen plays Tails. Idris plays... Idris Elba plays... Here's a real question. Knuckles, Keanu Reeves plays Shadow. Did you ever get to meet Keanu? As of...

When this comes out, I will have done press with him. Wow. And I cannot wait, but I haven't done it yet. Incredible. I met him once, did a movie with him. He was great. Was he awesome? I only shook his hand. I said a lot of them in the hallway, but I get to like spend some time, which would be great. And same way, they'll be good to see Jim again and all those guys. James is in it. Everybody's in it. It's really good. And if you like the video games, you're rewarded. And it's like,

cool and it like it's the biggest it's by far the biggest one we've made it is so action-packed that and then if you go Ben Schwartz and friends is on tour starting in January you go rejected jokes calm backslash toward the tickets up pretty quick so if you grab them before they sell out we're coming to your city and or

Or else. What do you want to plug before we get into the part where we say we care about each other? I mean, we'd have to close it. The plug, all that kind of stuff. You don't want to plug your thing? I want to plug myself. Yeah. I mean, head over to CBB Worlds and, you know, it's too late for last minute merch probably. Or maybe it's not. Who knows? But get a subscription. There's so many good shows over there. What's something you can highlight? You have Scott Hasn't Seen, which is really fun. Scott Hasn't Seen we do every month, but then there's the Hey Randy show. There's this book

changed my life. There's the Batman show. There's College Town. I was just on an episode of College Town where I played Jan's wife, or husband, rather. Okay. And it's a very funny episode. A very special episode. A very special episode. And there's so much good stuff over there. All right. Let's, for the last time this year, This will be the only time I've heard this. This is what we did last year. Before we do a new one, let's close up the old plug bag. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to be, I'm going to

All right. Well, was that us? I think I, you know, honestly, we've had so many layers to it in the year. I don't know. Since we've done it. Was any of that in the last one? No idea. But that was Donde Estan Las Balsas by Randy Smith. Thanks so much to Randy Smith. Sorry, we couldn't get one that featured you a little more prominently because they've all featured you this entire year. And somehow. Are you doing real? I'm doing real. Yes, of course. Oh, God. I got a huge one. You got to send me one. What is it?

Oh, that was a great one. Those are such good ones. Ben, I want to thank you so much. It's... What a great... I wish... It's so fun. We love these so much. We care about each other. It's the end of the year, so let's say we're thankful for. Yes. I'm thankful. I'm very happy that our friendship survives. I'm very happy for the show because it makes us... It forces us to hang out one-on-one. It forces us to hang out, although we have swam together in the ocean. We have swam a bunch of times this year. A bunch of times, yes. Yeah, yeah. We get to hang out, but this is us doing... We get to be our full and total selves. That's right. Ben...

I love you. Thank you. I love you. Have a great 2025. We'll see you for the first episode back next year. I will close that plug bag. Yes. I will not open it. This year you have to. I will 100% close that plug bag. Yes. And if you vote this episode number one, we'll never do another one. By the way, that's what it is. If you can get the solo bullet to number one. But I'll tell you this. If we land anywhere between two through five, we're making it even longer for the next one. That's right. So this is how you got to bet hard. And there's nothing much left to say other than aww.

Bang, bang into your mouth. You know you gotta. Bang, bang into your mouth. You know you gotta. Everybody wants to listen to Scott. Everybody wants to. Aww. See you next time. Thanks. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

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