Bonus Bang: Adam Cayton-Holland, Jessica McKenna, Zack Reino (Teenage Dirtbag)
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Hey everyone, welcome to another Bonus Bang, where we re-release fantastic episodes of Comedy Bang Bang from out from behind the paywall. I'm Scott Aukerman, the host of Comedy Bang Bang, and this week we are continuing with our Teenage Dirtbag series, featuring some of the fun teen characters that we've had on the show. This week we have Teenager...

Dash Grabham. That's right. Dash Grabham. Who is he? He's a 12-year-old Pokemon trainer from the Kanto region. And these are all things that I learned a lot about in this episode. And, uh,

Dash comes to the show to teach us all about what he does. He's played by Zach Reno, a great comedian. And this is episode number 641, entitled Not My Aunt, which was originally released on February 16th of 2020.

It features Adam Caton Holland, comedian of the Grawlix fame. And we also have Jessica McKenna as Sherry Barrels. And of course, Zach Reno is Dash Grabham. It's a fun, fun episode. I think you're going to like it. Now, if you enjoy this and you want to hear other Dash Grabham episodes, as well as other episodes with any of the people involved in this one, become a subscriber at cbbworld.com. We have all the past episodes from the archives there.

Every live show, ad-free new episodes, bonus shows like CBB Presents, and Scott hasn't seen so much going on over there. We're going to be back Monday with a new episode of Comedy Bang Bang, but until then, enjoy this bonus bang. Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy

Comedie Bang Bang! Comedie Bang Bang! Comedie Bang Bang! Comedie Bang Bang! Comedie Bang Bang! Hater's gonna hate, master's gonna bait. Eatin' ain't cheatin' and the devil can wait. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Thank you, sweet Pete Brown. Oh, sweet Pete. The sweetest of Pete-est.

Welcome to the show for another week. And by the way, not just any show, you are listening to America's Podcast. That's right. It's been a couple of weeks since America has bestowed that honor upon us. And by the way, when I say America's Podcast, let there be no confusion about what America I'm talking about. I am talking about North America.

Canada, of course, Mexico. I'm also talking about South America. Anywhere within that, I'm also talking about the blessed, oh, these 50 states of ours that have banded together and worked together in one union. Um,

But we are, of course, America's podcast. And thank you to anyone in America who is enjoying it. And anyone outside of America, I hope you're a lot like Dan Aykroyd in Trading Places looking inside that restaurant window going, wow, look at all those wonderful dishes inside and the food, I would imagine. Maybe he was a little more interested in that.

Welcome to the show. Coming up a little later, by the way, my name is Scott Aukerman. I am coming up right now and, in fact, two minutes in the past. But in the future, coming up on the show, we have a retiree and we also have a trainer. Look, it is America's podcast, but we're never going to lose the fact that we talk to interesting people on this show. And this episode is no exception. By the way, congratulations to all you lovers who made love on Valentine's Day. That's...

A very important day, and I expect to see some babies in about 10 months' time or nine and a half or so. Coming up in – by the way, that's right. If you still have some residual Valentine's feeling and energy, go check out Michael Bolton's Big Sexy Valentine's Day special on Netflix.

That's something that The Lonely Island and I made, so you can still watch that and forever more. But coming up on the show right now,

We have a comedian who has been on the show, I'm going to wager, six times. This is his probably sixth appearance. Hundreds of times, actually. Hundreds of times? Yeah. I'm that far off. Yeah, you're way off. Wow. So more than just 100, you've been on 200 or more. It's three to 400 times. Three to 400 times. We've only done 638 episodes at this point. And I've been there for the lion's share of them, and I appreciate it. By the way, you are not a lion, right? No. Because you have a lot of facial hair right now. Maybe more of

I should have been more specific. I was there for the Adam's share of them, which is Adam Caden Holland's share of the podcast I've been on. You gave away your name there. Did you see that Lion King? The remake? Either. Yes, to both. Why did you specify the remake then if you had seen both? You could have just confidently said yes. Well, because I wanted to know what you were talking about to prepare my next statements.

And opinions. Always the lawyerly mind of Adam Caden Holland. And I said his name, too. And if you say it a third time, he will disappear. He will be gone. Hopefully. From the podcast forever. But he, of course, is a wonderful comedian. He is reissuing his album. Adam Caden Holland performs his signature bits, which comes out this Friday on vinyl on Saddle Creek Records. Please welcome back to the show, Adam Caden Holland. Thank you. Welcome back.

Thanks for having me. And I really am happy to be back because I think a lot of comedians use this podcast as a platform to plug their things. I bet they do. I would wager that a majority of them use this to plug their things. I think you're right about that. To me, that's a wasted opportunity. Really? Yeah, absolutely. What's it about for you?

You have arguably the most discerning comedy listeners in the world, and certainly all of the Americas. Well, it's America's podcast, certainly. A hundred percent. And America is nothing if not discerning. Why would you not use that opportunity to bounce some ideas off of America? Yes! See what sticks. Springboard. Exactly. A writer's workshop, if you will. What kind of ideas are we talking about? Well, you're known as the catchphrase guy. I was a catchphrase guy. Yeah.

I had a wonderful catchphrase, what's up hot dog, that I used for many years. At a certain point, I gave it to Weird Al Yankovic, and he opens every concert by saying, what's up hot dog. And at least he has when I've seen him. Okay. And he tells me he does it all across everywhere he performs in every continent, but I've only seen him in Los Angeles, and he has done it.

Every time I've seen him. So I'm taking him at his word. Yeah, he's good for it. So I gave that one to him. And then ever since then, I have been searching for a catchphrase and people send their catchphrase submissions to me every single week. And I say them and just none of them feel good.

not only entering my mouth, but exiting my mouth. And I used to think my mouth, by the way, was exit only. And then I realized, the guy's got to eat. Sure. So in any case, why did you mention catchphrases? Well, because my... Listen, I think your listeners who've heard my hundreds of episodes know I'm doing pretty great. But I think a lot of people who are your listeners... You're one of America's toppest comics. Well, one could argue. And yet, last year, what did Netflix put out? It's

7,000 comedy specials? 8,000 comedy specials? Somewhere in there, yes. And not one of them was mine. And I was bothered by that. But then I thought, well... Have you ever done a Netflix special? No! They've never come knock, knock, knocking at your door? No. Ted Sarando? Stunning.

But I thought I could sit and I could mope or I can make myself a better comedian. And what do all the best comedians have? Well, it's catchphrases. Whoa. As you know. Okay. Now explain what a catchphrase is for people who don't know how they pertain to comedians. It's a signature exclamation that one yells out almost indiscriminately. Is it always yelled?

And almost in an, always in a non sequitur fashion, the voice is always raised, raised loud. And, and then that's how the audience could confine you if they're blind or is that their primary purpose? It, this is some sort of sonar thing for a blind audiences. A catchphrase is like, how do we, what do we say instead of blind these days? Uh,

He's vision impaired, perhaps? Maybe. Yeah, vision impaired. Yeah. I mean, a picture, I think of a catchphrase as a man at a dog park in the dark trying to get his dog by yelling the loudest. And so that's how I deliver my catchphrases. And I thought, let 2020 be the year that Adam Caton Holland comes with a new catchphrase that fits him over the top. So I've written some out. So you have some options here. I have options. You have not settled on one. Have not settled on one. Wonderful. And I'd love to...

Try them out on CBB land. Do you want to do this for the listeners? How do you want feedback? I'd like to give my phone number to the listeners. And if they would just call me directly with their opinion. Let me guess. Is it 1-800-EAT-SHIT-

Because I fell for that already. That's going on the catchphrase list. Wait. That's now number nine option. Let me guess. Is it 1-800-EACH-HIT? Uh-huh. The whole thing. All right. Non sequiturs, Scott. Okay. Doesn't have to make sense. Okay. But yeah, my number is 720-481-1434. Call me. Let me know what you think of the catchphrases. Will you pick up the phone? Yeah, every time. Every time? Great. Day or night. Day or night? Yeah. Middle of the night? Again. Honey? Honey?

There's another catchphrase critique, I guess. It's a CBB listener from Brasilia, Brazil. America's podcast. America's podcast. All right, hit me. Catchphrase one. My name is Adam Catenhall and sometimes I refer to myself as ACH. Do you now? Yeah. You can't spell laugh until you have a bellyache without ACH.

Hold on, hold on, hold on. Back up, back up, back up. That's the first one. Do you start it by telling the audience that you refer to yourself as ACH? No, because my fans know that I'm ACH. They do. I'm not assuming that all of CBB knows me as that. I see. Okay, so do it again. Laugh into...

You can't spell laugh until you have a bellyache without A-C-H. You can't spell laugh until you have a bellyache? Without your boy A-C-H. Adam Kane. That's just one option. I'm not getting the chronology here. One option for a catchphrase, Scott. Okay. Option two. Sweet sassafras. My heart's broken.

Oh, that took a left turn into an area that I did not expect. The sweet sassafras, you sounded sort of like an old-timey prospector that might be welcoming riders onto Big Thunder Railroad, telling them and cautioning them, in fact, to hold on to their hats as well as their glasses, and yet—

Plot twist. After Sweet Sassafras, you find out that... His beloved has died. Has died? Yeah. The prospector's beloved died. Do you go into how the death occurred at all? Yeah, of course. But that's the full hour, and I'm not going to give that away. This is the catchphrase based off the bit where I described... So it's one minute of the catchphrase and then 59 describing a gruesome, gruesome death? About the prospector's wife's death. Okay. Yeah. In Montana, 1888. Catchphrase three. Don't blame me. I'm not the one who forgot the Manischewitz.

Are you Jewish? Half. You're half Jewish. Which half? My father's side. The side that doesn't count. Top half? Bottom half? The half that got me to go on a birthright trip to Israel for free. That's, yeah, okay. Catchphrase four, and in this one you need to kind of use your imagination. Picture me. Is it important that we've numbered them? For me, it is. You ever go into a restaurant that has numbers on the menu, and then you order by number, and they go, which one?

And then you have to say what the thing is. And I'm always like, well, why did you number them if you don't want me to order by number? And by the way, there has to be a menu in the kitchen. You just go back and look at it. Yeah, I guarantee the chef knows what number four is. Yeah, exactly. So we've numbered these in the same way. So people can call you and just go number four. Exactly. OK, that saves time and money on international calls. Picture me carrying a bread bowl.

No, thank you. From like a Perkins family restaurant bread bowl. Like I'm carrying that. By the way, you are miming a bread bowl that is akin to a child. Huge.

An extra large dinner plate sized bread bowl. Like you are Mary and Joseph carrying the swaddled baby Jesus. That's right. Home from Bethlehem. And I've come out, I poke my head out on stage. It's the first you've seen me. Do they live in Bethlehem? Where do they? No. They were out there. They were out in that. Yeah, yeah. They were visiting, right? He's a Nazareth guy. He's a real Nazareth guy. And they stopped in Bethlehem. What team did he follow? The Nazareth Saints. Okay. Okay.

So I've got the bread bowl. I poke my head out from behind stage. I'm backstage. So you're not even on stage. Not even on stage yet. Poke my head out, show the bread bowl, and go, excuse me, is it cool if I bring my bread bowl in here? This is the winner. As far as I'm concerned, if you started every show that way and people rose to their feet as in like, he did it! I'm sorry, guys. I got a quick question before we get started. Cool if

All right, that's the one I'm voting for. I don't mean to taint the jury pool here. I value your opinion as much as the listeners, but I do want them to— So equal weight? Equal weight. So all listeners combined get one point, and then one point from me. Okay, good. Number five, just the sound of a 1920s car horn after a— Just that sound. Just that sound. And how do you presume you're going to—

play that sound or are you going to imitate it or I most often will imitate it but I'll size up the sound guy in the booth see if he's got the chops to kind of nail it if I can work with him and have fun wait so he's gonna imitate it yeah well no he's gonna play he's gonna play yeah I go to every club and I size up the sound guy okay over a lunch give me your best over a lunch really well I take him out to lunch and say do you have what it takes to do the sound using your mouth not an effect okay over the course of my stand up show um

But mine would be Auga. Number seven. All the way up to seven? That's not my cum. Oh, no. Hey, what do you want me to do about it? Whoa, this has a second part. That's not my cum. I mean, that's close. That's a close second for me.

Just to see you have to do that. The last one is... This is number eight. This is number eight, the final one. Final. Oh, what do I know? I'm just a guy that saw Hamilton on Broadway, original cast. Whoa! So those are the options, Scott, and I so appreciate this sounding board. One through eight. Yeah, one through eight. Let... One through eight? One through eight. And if you have any opinions on them... Is one through eight a water? I don't know. One through eight water? I don't know.

Let Adam know. Give him a call. Give him a ring-a-ding-ding. Text. Texting rates apply. Any day, any hour of the day. Any hour, yeah. I mean, you're up all the time pretty much. You're an insomniac. Working on my comedy. Yeah, of course. Always. This is important stuff. Thank you. All right, wonderful. Now tell me about this record that you're putting out. This is – you got a hold of me.

And you said, Scott, I need to come on the show because I have a record coming out. I was very excited. Like, Adam has a new thing coming out. Then you got here and you said, oh, yeah, it's a reissue on vinyl of something old I did. And I said, why the hell did I fall for this? And yet here you are talking about it. So go ahead. As you can tell, I've been working on other comedy things that aren't quite ready to put down on wax yet. Okay. Whereas this was.

And the record label Saddle Creek. This is a thing you did how many years ago? 11, 12 years ago. No, last year. Last year. Oh, okay. Came out last year. And the record label Saddle Creek, known for Bright Eyes, Curse Of, the band Hop Along. Great, great record label. They all hanging out at the office with you?

I think they were hanging out one day listening to some of their favorite comedy. Yeah. I came on. They said, let's get them. Let's get them on the label. Connor over there going like, hey, man, I'm really enjoying track four. Yeah. And Connor called me up and said, let us put out your wax. You're the first comic on the label. What do you say, Adam? I said, let's do it. Wow. So do you hope that some sort of residual cool factor or hipness washes off onto you? My goal is to be as cool as Connor is.

2006. Oh, okay. So he's gotten less cool since then. No, no. Is what you're trying to say. You're trying to say that he has just dipped in coolness. Is it a steady decline or was it a sharp decline? He's moved laterally in coolness. My preferred era. He's gone over to another axis line, which is not even cool anymore. Is that what you're trying to say? I can't understand yet because I'm not that cool. He made a lateral move over to something that's not cool. Nope. He made a lateral move to something that's equally cool.

on a plane that you or I don't understand. Another dimension. Perhaps. Another dimension? We'll see. Another dimension? We'll know when he lets us know. Okay. But in 2006, Connor, that's what I'm aiming for with this release. All right. Kate and Holland performs the signature birds. Well, wonderful. How can people get this? Apparently, you have to have some sort of decoding instrument in order to play it. Saddlecreek.com. And you can buy the wax, you can buy the vinyl and spin it. But you can't just like buy the thing and then like put it up to your ear. You need a record player. You need a record player. Which,

Enjoy comedy how it's supposed to be. Gathered around with your friends and the record, listening to it. Like it was an old Dolemite record. Absolutely. Just playing at a party. I'm tired of people listening to comedy without intention. Just popping up on your shuffled mix. No, sit down, listen to the entire album. You think that you should bring friends over, huddle them around this old-timey record player that you apparently have. Yeah. Instead of just watching your special on Netflix. Oh, that's right. God.

This is cart before the horse stuff. Okay. Next time I'm here, we'll be promoting that off of the success of these catchphrases. We're right across the street over here. Why don't you just head on over there? I will. And just say like, hey. Say Adam Catenhall a third time, I'll vanish and head over to Netflix. Please. Say Scott Aukerman sent me.

I did hear that, you know, they're very proud of their waiting room over there at Netflix. Are they? Because it has moving images throughout it. It's like every wall is a huge TV screen that creates an environment which is representative of some of their shows. And every 15 minutes, it changes into it. Just like their home menu. Yeah, you'll be out there on the Daredevil rooftops or whatever. And occasionally you'll see them swinging by and you'll go, hey, Hornhead.

But I heard that if any of their creators ever take a meeting over there, they will cycle through their particular project. Oh, wow. In order to give them a little thrill, like, oh, wow. Like, if they ever see a name of someone who made something, I have to say I've never seen a Between Two Firm things thing over there. Not once. That's got to be a weird thing when at the end of the meeting, they're like, we're going to pass.

And they've just propped you up with all of your stuff on the way in. Yeah. We like that old stuff better. Yeah. Well, this is great. Check that out on Saddle Creek or Record or whatever it is. And...

Adam, Kate, and Holland, anything in the pipeline that we need to talk about? New podcast, Grawlix. The Grawlix saves the world with me and my Grawlix buddies. What is this now? This is a lovely little podcast for me and my two friends, Ben Roy and Andrew Overdahl. Both have been on the show maybe. I know Andrew has. Maybe not Ben. I can't remember. Maybe all three of you? They have.

Okay, great. We better ourselves through passive-aggressive self-help challenges. So we identify a problem with each other, and we set out to fix it each episode. Okay, so if there's a problem, yo, you'll fix it. Exactly. Okay. Yep. Great. All right, well, what a wonderful plug to end this segment on. I really ended on a high note. Yeah, before we get into the next one, is it cool if I bring my bed ball in here? Yes, all right. Yeah.

It is. It's leading the pack. It really is. You know what? Before we take a break, why don't we go to our next guest? Sure. Why don't we do that? Absolutely. That would be fun. You know, we still got a little time here before we need to take a break. So why don't we talk to her? She is a retiree. Please welcome Sherry Barrels. Sherry!

Jerry Barrels is here, and I am so sorry. I just came from a class. I'm sorry. I just came from a class. You came from a class? Yeah, I just came from a class. Oh, sorry. Oh, sorry. Let me just... What are you apologizing for? I'm coming in kind of a little higgly-biggly.

I want to take off my puffy jacket. I want to just put down my three drinks. I just want to get settled. That is a, when you said puffy jacket, you're not lying. I mean, that is very puffy and multicolored and there appears to be sparkles on it. It's a great jacket. You know what? I got it for my niece and she didn't like it. So I kept it.

How old is your niece? She's 14, so she's impossible to buy for. That is an interesting style of clothing. Things that can be worn by 10 to 14-year-olds or elderly women. Well, you know, elderly, Scott, hold your tongue. I beg your pardon. Hold it. What is age? Hold it. Thank you. I'm just your aunt who recently retired and is coming from a class. Okay. Not my aunt, but... Just your aunt.

Recently retired, coming from a class. The royal aunt. The royal aunt. Real quick, coming from a class. Today was such a remarkable class, Scott. What class are you coming from? So, you know, a lot of people, they wish they were young again. Oh, they idolize their 20s. They put it up on a pedestal. Nostalgia, they call it. That's right. Comes from the Greek. And

Me, my whole life I always wanted to be retired. You know why? Why is that? Because I knew I'd finally have time to take some classes. Oh, broaden your minds. Adam, you ever take any of these classes at the community college or anything like that? I've been dying to. I don't have the time. Don't have the time? We're working. You're working on your comedy. Exactly. I do whatever this is. I take two classes at the community center. Today I came from a class at the rec center. Whoa. Yeah. And today.

was a class about making your own mosaics. Making your own mosaics? Making mosaics, Scott. I guess it would be hard to make someone else's.

That's right. Unless you sold it to them. I guess so. And then it becomes their mosaic. And isn't that just like a mosaic? That's sort of like, that's perfect because- I don't know what you mean. Well, you know, mosaic takes a bunch of unrelated parts and puts them together into something new. Right. And if I put my parts in and I gave it to you, all of a sudden, it's kind of your part. I know. This sounds like a Me Too situation. You giving me your parts-

I don't think so, Scott. I'll let you know. Okay, let me know. I'll let you know. Let me know if something like that happens. Because you know what? I took a class on that. Oh, you did? I'll let you know. Yeah. I'm Sherry Barrels, your aunt who came from a class. By the way, you have a great Flintstones name. Oh, do I? Yeah. Isn't Barrel a rock?

You know, I always thought of my name more as like, oh, oh, this this Spanish galleon went down and we got a bunch of barrels of sherry, a bunch of sherry barrels. Oh, it's barrels as in B-A-R-R-E-L-S. That's right. Yeah, that's right. Oh, not B-E-R-Y-L-S. No, no. Sherry barrels like, oh, what is this? A vermouth? Like a bonanza. We found all these barrels of sherry. That's right. Oh, hooray. Sherry barrels. Have you had any cocktails with sherry? No.

Have I, what? Have I any cocktails with sherry? Yeah, have you ever tried a sherry cocktail? Oh, I, oh, uh, uh, I believe so. Oh, sorry, what about you, young man? You ever tried a sherry cocktail? I don't know if I have. What's a cocktail that has sherry in it? I'm struggling with this one. Yeah. Yeah, well, you know, you can put them in, you can, sometimes you can mix them with wine themselves. You can have it just on the rocks, you know, it depends on what kind of sherry we're working with. Like a Red Bull and sherry? Sure. Okay. That's fun. I would do that. Is sherry a type of cooking wine?

It can be. You can have a cooking sherry, but you can just sip on a sherry. It's related to a vermouth. So I don't know. You could try to make a martini with it. I'm not saying it'd be good. I'm going to ask my friend Padre. He's in my women's studies class at the community college. I'm going to see. And he is also a bartender. Well, sorry. Padre is a bartender as well. That's right. Yeah. And so I'm going to ask him. Can I ask him right now? Is Padre his first name or his last name? First name. Because I know someone with a last name of Padre. I thought it was a San Diego Padre. I thought it was a priest.

Can I ask him right now? Yeah, please. Okay, I'm going to send him a WhatsApp. One second. Why are you going through WhatsApp? Do you need some secure messaging system? I don't know my niece, but

Denise put it on my phone a few years ago to bond, and I haven't taken it off. Okay, all right. And then, you know, Padre, he kind of made fun of it. He said, oh, what's up? Were you a British tween? And I said, oh, thanks for talking to me. All right, that's so nice that you thank people. You didn't thank me for talking to you when I introduced you. Oh, I'm sorry, Scott. Thanks for talking to me. My pleasure. It is our pleasure to talk to people of all stars and stripes across America, because this is America's podcast. That's what I heard. They listen to it in...

Costa Rica. They certainly do. Central America. Central America. Of course. Of course. Have you finished with your message to Padre? Yeah. But you know what? I think he's in another class right now, so it might be a second. How old of a gentleman is Padre, if I may ask? He's 20. He's 20? Yeah. And he's a bartender at 20. 20.

Maybe he's 21. Okay. Maybe he's only a bar back. Oh, yeah. They let them bar back as early as 13. You know, we only have, we have that sort of grace period of like five minutes before the professor gets there for us to chat. Okay. So, you know. So, yeah, you got to compress a lot of conversation. You got to compress a lot. So, he said bar and maybe you just jumped to a conclusion. I might have just jumped to a conclusion. Oh, shoot. Should I apologize to him?

Yeah, probably. Okay, hang on. Can I do it right now? Yeah, please. Yeah. I am interviewing you. I'm going to go into WhatsApp. It's okay. I would love for you at some point to look up from your phone and actually engage me in a conversation. But I know this needs to be done. So go ahead. It's done. It is. Oh, okay. You've already done it. Yeah, that was me fret typing.

So what did you used to do before you retired? Yeah, I was the secretary for a middle school. Oh, you were? Yeah. A secretary? You know, the front desk person, sometimes called, you know, the office lady, sometimes just called, hey.

You know when a 13-year-old just comes by and says, hey, and you're like, you get back here, Ben Hadlin. You refer to me, my Mrs. Barrels. Mrs. Barrels. Are you a Mrs.? I am a Mrs., yeah. Yeah, you're married. And to whom are you married? My husband, Gregory.

34 years. 34 years old? No, we've been married for 34 years. Oh, okay. I was going to say. First you're calling me elderly and then, oh, I guess you're saying Gregor is 34. I was saying he was young, yeah. I was saying good for you. There I go jumping to conclusions again. I think you need to apologize to me. I'm sorry, Scott. I'm going to open my WhatsApp. Scott, do you have a WhatsApp? I do, yeah, yeah. Okay. Feel free to reach out. Okay, okay. And you know his phone number, so. Yeah, I heard it. I put it out earlier. You know what? Yeah.

wanted to just say, I think, don't lean into the horn. You know, I feel like the air horn had a time, and I feel like 1920s cars, they make us nervous. The air horn had a time. You know, eh, eh, eh. Oh, sure, the sort of DJ air horn. That definitely had a renaissance. Before I retired, a lot of the kids at Tuffery Middle School would walk by and just go, eh, eh, eh, and I'd say, it's Mrs. Barrels! Yeah.

Well, this is – we are coming up on a break, if you don't mind, Mrs. Barrels. Oh, no. I'm so sorry. I have plenty more I wanted to ask you about. Great. Including all of your classes and what you've learned. Oh, pssst.

So many classes. I would imagine. But we do need to take a break. Can you hype anything to get people to come back on the other side of this? I'd love to. One of the classes I took involved fire. Whoa, one of the elements. Cool. One of the five elements. Hot chi cha chi. The fifth element, of course, is love.

All right. Well, we need to take a break. When we come back, we're going to hear all about this incredible fire class. Maybe it was a class to make fire. No, it wasn't, Scott. It was not. It was not. It was not. But it incorporated fire in some manner. That's right. All right. Wonderful. When we come back, yes, Adam? I was just going to say, and remember, you can't spell laugh until you have a bellyache. I don't know. Without ACH. After the break. That one doesn't even make sense.

After the break. After the break. All right, we're going to take a break. When we come back, we will have more from Adam, Kate, and Holland. We'll have more from Sherry Barrels. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this.

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Comedy Bang Bang, we're back here with Adam Caden Holland. He just reached for his water and the break ended. Feel free. Go ahead. No, I blew it. I had a window and I shouldn't drink water. You had a window while we were selling all those products. But if you want to, you can bring some of that H2O and mix it in with the H2O in your body if you want to. Thanks, Scott. Hey, boys, I'm sorry I didn't ask you this. Do either of you want a snack? We

What do you have? I mean, it kind of depends on what you have. I have salt and pepper cashews. I have some. Salt and pepper cashews. Yeah. I have some dried apricots. And I have, well, this string cheese, this ice pack didn't last as long as I thought it would. So it's not going to be bad. It's room temperature? It won't be pleasant. Sort of warm string cheese. It's a warm string cheese. It's going to taste more like the inside of a stuffed crust.

Okay. So I'm going to say, I wish I hadn't even told you about the string cheese. Yeah, I kind of want that string cheese though, but I want it a little cooler. You can have the string cheese. I'll go for the dried apricots if that's okay. Yeah, is it okay? Can you cool that down, that string cheese for me? I can, oh.

I could try. Yeah, is there any way? What would your method be? Well, I probably would take it out of its wrapper and put it directly on the ice pack. Okay, that sounds great. Cool that string cheese down for me. Okay, I'm going to cool that string down for you, Scott. Okay, yeah, appreciate that. Coming right up. I like cheese that is in two-dimensional shapes. Yeah, absolutely. Like lines. Yeah. What about a ray?

A ray? Yeah. How would you feel about a ray? What do you mean by that? You know, one fixed point and it goes onward towards infinity? I thought you had a friend named Ray. I'm sorry. I took a geometry class. Oh, you did. An infinite ray of cheese? You know what I loved about geometry? And I was like, let me go back and see if I still like it. It's math with writing. I always thought that was neat. With writing meaning like creative writing? Well, you write those proofs and you're like, oh, let me use my little, I have to use words.

Here, I thought this was going to be all numbers. Math primarily is numbers as well as symbols. That's right. And then suddenly, you're writing English words. Suddenly, you're scribing down theorems. Did you remember that? Because I'd forgotten a lot of this until I went back and took a class. Sure. Theorems and corollaries. That's right.

Absolutely. Very good ACH. Which type of math is this again? Geometry. Geometry. As I recall, A squared plus B squared equals C squared. Is that part of it? Oh, you know it is, Scott. You don't need to do a refresher. Yeah. That was all of it? Really? I don't need to do a refresher? Well, that's a big part of it. Yeah, no refresher if you can still remember that. That's like 75% of geometry? That's most of it. You know, it's not trig. I'm not doing calculus. Geometry is a lot of like...

hey, it's a parallelogram, but not necessarily a square. You know. Yeah. All the squares, they all add up to, what are we talking, 360 degrees? All the corners? That's right. All right. Very good, Scott. ACH, do you have anything to add? You get into that quadratic formula in geometry at all? You know what? You kiss it. What are we talking? You kiss it. You just tangentially approach it. It's sort of like. Just brush its lips. It's sort of like.

like the cliffhanger I gave the listeners before the break to get you hooked on more math classes. That's right. I totally forgot about that cliffhanger and how could I when it was so exciting. You took a class that incorporated fire. That's right, Scott. And will you reveal that class to the listeners and both ACH and myself probably around now? I will. The class was, can you believe it,

Glass blowing. Glass blowing. Wow. Glass blowing. Terrific. So guess what? Sherry Barrels made herself a sherry bottle. You did? Yeah, and I don't know how to make sherry, so I just buy sherry and put it in it. Well, you didn't take a sherry making class. How would you know how to make it? That's right. Good one, Scott. Not yet. How would you even make sherry? You'd like leave out some cherries or something? It's like a fortified wine, I think, sort of thing.

What does that mean? You know, like a port or a... Sure, but how do you even make port? Fortified. It's within the castle walls. You protect it. Yeah, you make it real secure. Don't lower the drawbridge. Yeah, you give it a ring and, you know, you say, you're safe because I got you on film. You fortify that one. So you obviously did not...

take a winemaking class. No, no, no. Nor a wine education class. Okay. But you did take this glass blowing. Tell us all about it. I mean, this is an ancient art, certainly. I don't know if glass existed before we knew how to blow it or whether people were like, hey, look at that glass. I wonder if we could blow it.

I mean, maybe you know this in the class. Okay, that's a great question. So actually, there is no glass before. Heat could be, you know, it's just hot sand. It is. It's hot sand. It's hot, hot sand.

Now, I've gone to the beach with hot sand before. It needs to be much hotter. Much hotter than the human, or Earth, I guess, or in the Americas. Yes. Can heat up. That's right. Although, can it heat up? How hot does it have to be? Oh, Scott, it...

It needs to be many degrees in Celsius. Many in Celsius. I'll tell you what, with global warming the way it is, all of our beaches are probably going to turn to glass at some point. Can you imagine just you're in a spaceship and you're tootling around this Milky Way and you see a planet and it's all glass and you're just like, this looks like a diamond. Yeah, I think you guys need to be careful to not make climate change sound too awesome.

But, I mean, if you were an alien, it would be fucking awesome. That would be so beautiful. It really would. Just glass meeting an ocean. Just reflecting. And like you can see Mars in the reflection. Oh my gosh, I love it. And it's like, ooh, look at that. Look at our spaceship. It looks so cool in this. No one talks about how beautiful it all could be. It could be so beautiful.

It's all doomsday stuff. Glass can happen from lightning hitting some sand on a beach. Get out of here. Really now? Yeah, so that's hot enough. So how much glass would that take? So if I wanted some glass and I was like, I don't know how to make it, I don't know how to heat up this sand, but maybe I'll just stand on the beach and wait for lightning to hit it. How much glass would I have? You'd have about a small ashtray worth. That's not bad. Yeah. For a smoker like me? Yeah.

Five packs a day? This guy. Uh-oh. Scott, tell me that's not true. Why would that not be true? Well, because, you know, sometimes when our teacher was homesick, I would sub for the health class at the middle school, so I can give you a lot of facts. Oh, you can't? Okay, by all means, go ahead. Good luck. He's heard every argument. Yeah, I've heard a lot. There's no way that I'm quitting. Fact one, it's Ben.

Wait, it is? Yeah. Well, why the hell am I doing it? I don't know, Scott. Fact two, it's cool. That's why you're doing it. Oh, that's right. Okay, those balance each other out. It's cool only on a plane that we've moved past. Oh, okay. It's only laterally cool. So honestly- So it's not a ray. No. Okay. No. By the way, did you ever get Padre's name?

Padre's last name? Last name, first name, you didn't know. No, he's still in his journalism class. Oh, it's a journalism class. That's the class he's in, not the one that we take together, which is women's studies. Okay. The way that Padre and I first started talking is I sat down and I said, time to study myself.

And he was the only one that laughed without any tone of derision. And I thought, that's a nice young man. Was it an uncomfortable laugh? Like, I'm going to fill the silence? No, everyone else did that and kind of went, oh boy, who's this old lady? And Padre went, that was pretty funny. Oh, he did.

Okay. 20-year-old bar back. Yeah. Thought it was pretty funny. He thought it was pretty funny. And now he's taking a journalism class. Is he learning how not to bury the lead? He's taking a full load of classes, whereas I'm just a retiree who's dabbling. Sherry Barrels, your aunt who just came from a class. Okay, right. But not my aunt.

No, no, no. He's the one who told me the term journalistic you, though, because I was like, I'm just your aunt who came from a class. And he's like, you're not my aunt. And I said, well, there's got to be some other. And he's like, oh, it's like a journalistic you. Oh, wow. What a great guy. I wish we knew his other name. Yeah. Or maybe Padre is a nickname. We don't know. I think it's just his first name. You think it's his first name? Yeah. Yeah. Or maybe a nickname, though. Like maybe, you know, he gave out some sort of nickname.

You know, theological advice at some point. You know what? He's obsessed with wearing Mandarin collars. Maybe people are ribbing him for that. Hmm. I'm still not convinced it's not San Diego Padre Eric Hosmer. It could very well be the first baseman Eric Hosmer of the Padres. It could be. Is he 20 years old and a barback? Is he 20 and a barback? He could be. He very well could. We don't know. San Diego? I mean, you watch one of those baseball games. They last three and a half hours sometimes.

They never talk about their other jobs. Well, and they're always going down to the dugout disappearing for an hour on end. What is a dugout if not a barback? What is a dugout if not a barback? Yeah. Okay. Can I write that down as a potential catchphrase? I would be.

What is a dugout if not a bar back? Okay, now we got ten choices. So you've made one thing in your glassblowing class. That's right. The sherry bottle. A sherry bottle. But you had to buy sherry in order to fill it up. That's right. Does that feel sort of like a bait and switch to you of like, I got this great bottle, but it can't just be a bottle. Well, now I use the sherry bottle as a vase.

You do? Yeah. So the sherry is totally gone. How long did it take you to drink the sherry? Well, no, I put, okay, the sherry bottle that I got at the store, that one is a vase. That's a vase. So you have two bottles. So you made a bottle, but then you had to buy another bottle in order to fill that bottle. Bottle with sherry. And now you had to then buy flowers to put into that bottle. Yeah, right now it has- Where did the flowers come in?

The flowers came in brown paper. Brown paper. What'd you do with that? Well, with that, I made a little puppet for my niece. And did she like it as much as the jacket? Not the 14-year-old one. Oh, okay. No, no, no. Younger? Younger, yeah. Okay. This one is six, and I made it from Ryan's world.

What is Ryan's world? I don't want to tell you. Scott, I don't want to tell you. Ryan's, he's a millionaire kid on YouTube who reviews toys. I don't want to tell you. Well, it just seems like this has created so much more trouble for you. Although I guess at the end of it, you have a wonderful puppet show for your six-year-old niece. Yeah, I think it's all right. And you know, when people come over. And you're drunk and you. . .

I'm sipping on the sherry. And your house smells like flowers? I'm sipping on the sherry. So this is a happy ending. It's a happy ending. All right, wonderful. Well, look, sherry, and again, it is not like the Flintstones name where it would be B-E-R-Y-L-S. No, it's like the way you'd go down Niagara Falls. Right, if you were some sort of stunt performer. If you were some kind of daredevil. Or suicidal. A-C-H-O-M-P.

Okay, bud. Okay. Yep. Just saying there's a lot of ways to go over them falls. That's true. Would you go in a barrel in that scenario? Yeah, I think you would just take a header right off using your... Nah, you might as well just gamble. You want a little bit of protection? You know how it's going to wind up, but there's a chance. The way that struck me to my core when he said that is kind of like how I felt when I was listening to like 2006 era Bright Eyes. Thank you. There's a pathos underlying all of this. That was some real eye-witnessing.

I don't want to love her. I don't have to love stuff right over there. It's the siren song to Saddle Creek. Well, look, Sherry, hang tight if you could, because we have to get to our next guest, if that's all right. Hang tight. I might take a surfing class later.

That would be Hang Ten. But you'll learn that on the first day, I would imagine. Let us introduce him. He is a trainer. Oh, I know this person. He's been on the show before. He's not a physical trainer. He is a Pokemon trainer. Please welcome back to the show, Dash Grabham. Oh, Scott! Oh, you're yelling too. Oh, every day. That's how you greet each other in my world. You scream at each other from about 20 feet apart, and then you battle. Oh.

Well, we're not going to battle because we're friends, right? Yes. We've never battled. Is that correct? We have never battled. You, to my knowledge, don't have any Pokemon with you. I carry no Pokemon, neither on my person, nor do I have any at home, if you're thinking about performing some sort of a B&E on my house. Bagels and eggs? I don't believe so. By the way, this is Adam. Hi, Adam.

Adam. Hello. He likes to be known as ACH. Yeah. Which may tie into something he may say at some point. Oh, you're looking for a catchphrase. I am. I get that. There's a bunch of catchphrases in my world too. Oh yeah. Like there's a famous one. That's you are my selection. And then you throw a Pokemon. Oh, pretty good one. Not bad. Maybe if I was to yell that out,

At my shows, I'd certainly get the Pokemon people on board. I mean, you get them to battle you for sure. You are my selection. Oh, that means you're battling at that point. If someone chooses a Pokemon, they throw a Pokemon and you yell, you are my selection. People are not selecting Pokemons and not battling is what you're saying. It would be weird for me to be like,

This is the Pokemon I choose to do nothing with. Right, just to hang out. You don't hang out with your Pokemon? I do, but really there's only three that I hang out with. Who do you hang out with? Okay, well, there's Aquapalo, who's an Italian magician who I recently discovered also has a military background, which freaked me out a little bit, but there you go. So there's that one. And what does he look like? Aquapalo is a sort of...

An Italian lizard who is blue and stands on two legs, used to be a small frog, got much bigger and more humanoid than he was when I first got him. And he grew in the, what do you call your container? He evolved twice. He evolved twice, but... In a Pokeball. In the Pokeball. No, he did it outside of it. I watched him do it both times. They're in a field of stasis in the Pokeball, is that correct? They are time-locked.

As I understand it. It's sort of like suspended animation. Yes, which is convenient because if they weren't, it is a sort of...

Sure. But they have no cognizance or are they aware of time passing? Nope. Nothing. Nothing. So it's just. No, I went in there once. Nothing. So it's just a blip and it's like no time has passed when you go in and then you come out. No, it's like take your timeline is a big role of what's a big thing. Or like a two dimensional. Fruit by the foot. Like a ray. Like a ray. A fruit by the foot that goes off in one direction for forever. Oh, because one is in your mouth. That's right. One direction. That's reminding me of Nihal. Yeah.

Oh, my. To your face. All right. Never mind. Are you getting flushed thinking about his slow hands and his sweat dripping off of his dirty laundry? I've got a river for a heart.

So there is no time elapses. Yes, you wanted to say something? I was just going to say, I have several nephews that also like Pokemon. And I also have one nephew who likes something called Bakugan. Bakugan, what is that? It seems like Pokemon, but instead you can have a small round toy that's not the round toy of a Pokeball. Oh, so it's an off-brand Pokemon. Yeah, definitely. Bakugan, is that what it's called? Bakugan, yeah. There was a time in my life where I spent a whole weekend only hearing about Bakugan.

Well, that must be fun for you because I can imagine as an elderly woman, you're lonely and don't have a lot of companionship. Oh, sorry. I have a very full life with my husband, Gregory, and my new friend, Padre. So Padre's already incorporated into your wonderful full life. Well, you know, he will one day. He's the promise of tomorrow. And I have, you know, so many nieces and nephews. I love how you mentioned your husband and Padre instead of all of your nieces and nephews. Well, I have so many. I'm your aunt. Come on. What about children?

No, no chilled myself. Oh, I'm so sorry. It's all right. Or it's great. No, it's chill. It's chill. Padre talks like that. That's very cool. Thanks, yeah. So Dash, who are the other two Pokemon that you hang out with? There's Trisha. Trisha? Trisha. What is Trisha's deal? Trisha is...

Electric Poison Spike Monster. Electric Poison Spike Monster. What does Trisha look like and why do you like to hang out with her? I like to hang out with her because she plays the bass real good. She plays the bass real good? She plays it so good that it blows other Pokemon up. Oh, okay. That's her power? That's her thing. Wow. Trisha plays the bass. But the powerful bass line that blows up Pokemon has no effect on you? So far, no.

I mean, it probably would if they aimed it at me, but they don't because they can only attack other Pokemon. I think we've talked about this before. How do you ensure that? I mean, it's sort of honor code, I guess. The people that use their Pokemon against people are criminals in my world. Is this like a do no harm AI situation? What? Is this like a do no harm AI situation? What? Aeoli incense?

Eggs and bagels? Is this a do no harm AI situation? Oh, like you program a robot and one of its directors is to do no harm? That's right. No, I think they're just pretty much like Pokemon. They're just agreeable types? Yeah, they're mostly agreeable types. Well, and they're all probably very young because they only have a little bit of time outside the Pokemon.

right? Yeah, I never thought about that, but you're right. So their cognizance, their emotional development is probably their, they've only spent a few days outside. They're like babies. Sure. I mean, well, like animals in your world, I think they probably grow at a faster rate, right? Like you have like dog years, like you would call a dog old if it was 19, but by human standards, that's not very old. That'd be a very old dog. That's a great point. I took a zoology class and you know, most like,

prey animals they can walk as soon as they come out of the womb basically a little wobbly but then they can get going as soon as they come out of the womb can blast you with fire and thunder and lightning and ice like that immediately

So now let's talk about this third Pokemon that you like hanging out with. Zigzagoon. Zigzagoon? Zigzagoon. Okay, tell us about Zigzagoon. He's a little black and white badger dog with stars on his eyes. He's not really good at battling. Stars for eyes or stars on his eyes? Around it. Stars in his eyes? Think like the band Kiss in his eyes. He's just a good bud.

And he is a good bud to you. Oh, yeah. He's great. All right. And why do you hang out with those three and not the rest? Because you have how many Pokemons do you have? I let the rest go. I let them all go on a pretty. You let them all go. That's right. On a pretty, like, pretty frequently. Because you. And then I forget the ones I have, so I let them go. I had a Blastoise for a while, I think, last time I was here. Oh, Blastoise. Andy Richter, I believe, was one of my Pokemons. That's right. Yeah.

I had a Charmander who was an arsonist. I had a ghost who was very scary. For a while, I only kept ones that were criminals. And we had a sort of like Suicide Squad operation going on. Oh, right. And how did you get them to obey your directives? It was like sort of – The Suicide Squad, you know, they have those collars around their necks.

where if they disobeyed any order, and this is a spoiler alert for Suicide Squad. I'm going to cover my ears. Okay. But they would press a button and Amanda Waller, their heads would just explode. That's not suicide. That's murder. That's murder. They should have called it Murder Squad. Unless they're pressing the button on their own. Or at least Manslaughter Squad. Although I don't know if, you know, because it was a military operation, if whether they could be charged even. Although it was off the books. So if there was congressional oversight over it, then perhaps. Off the books. Yeah.

What does that make you think of? Nothing, really. Then why did you say it like that? Off the books. Oh, okay. Hmm. Hmm. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Feels good to say. Maybe. I don't know. It feels like drop the the. Yeah, maybe think about that for later on in the show, though. If I talked to Padre about Suicide Squad, would he think it was cool? He's 20 and a bar back? Yeah. Okay. He would love it. Can I ask a question? Yeah.

Yeah. How do you tell the difference between your police officers? Well, they have badge numbers, which if you take it down is always a fun thing to say, like, let me see your badge number. And then nothing ever happens to them. They also have jurisdiction over different areas. Yeah, that's how I've been sort of keeping track, except that all the police officers in my world look exactly the same. And they're all named Jenny and they're all cousins. They're all cousins to each other? Yep. Interesting. And they're all Officer Jenny. Officer Jenny. Can I be real? Yeah.

Every single one was a GG smoke show. What? Whoa. Wait a minute, Dash. Dash, aren't you just a 12-year-old boy? Didn't we establish that early? I am not just a 12-year-old boy, Scott. I am a 12-year-old boy. So you are really coming into your own here. You're interested in one of the Officer Jennys? I'm interested in- Or is it Officers Jenny? All of the Officers Jenny. Do they say-

Do they say that they're cousins? At the same time? Wow. Well, I had to ask because I saw an officer, Jenny, and I was like, oh my gosh, I just saw you back in Pallet Town. She's like, I don't work in Pallet Town. My cousin works in Pallet Town. And it happened over and over and over again. So you, instead of getting to know one of them, you want to take on all of them at the same time. I have a niece, Jenny. She does?

Is she a cop? No, she's, uh, she has to say so. No, she's not. She has to tell us if she's a cop. She's studying anthropology at Dartmouth. What's that? Uh,

It's the study of ancient civilizations. Is there an ancient civilization where you're from? Because it seems like these Pokemon are primordial forces that... Have been around for a long time. Yeah, and they harness all of the elements. We talked about the five earlier. Oh, no. There's way more. Well, I guess you have elements. We have more than you do. What are yours? Well, we have air, water, earth, fire, and love. Also flying. Also ground. Flying is an element. Also darkness. Ground is earth. Also fairy. Darkness. Also plant. Earth. Earth.

Metal. Fire. Steel. We mentioned all these. Fire. Earth. Air. Plant. Wind. Love. Water. Oxygen. Okay, look. Ghost. Ghost. The ghost element. That's an element? Mm-hmm. Dragon. Spectral.

Ghosts. We call it ghosts. Hauntings. Miss Barrels, we call it ghosts. Oh, okay. You have a lot of cool things out there in your world. Where do you come from again? I'm from the Kanto region. The Kanto region. Yes, of course. Yeah, no, we have ancient stuff. There's like a Pokemon that's said to be the beginning of all Pokemon, and we tried to- Pokemon Prime? Kind of, more or less. Patient Zero Pokemon? Yeah, it's called Mew, and we tried to clone it.

And it did not go well. Really? Yeah, we made Mewtwo, and then Mewtwo sort of ran amok and, well, killed a bunch of people, Scott. Oh, no. People? Not other Pokemon? Humans. I mean, they don't show it, but the facility where they worked blew up. Mewtwo did not have do no harm. Oh, no, not Jenny, I hope. Mewtwo was, well, I mean...

I hope not, but also, how would I know? There's so many of them. Nurses are the same, by the way. Nurses? All the nurses are named Joy. Pokemon nurses, not human nurses in the hospital. But where does Joy, all the Joys, rather? At the Pokemon Center of each individual place, which is free. Let me finish. Let me finish. Healthcare for all! How do they rate on the Smoke Show scale? Also, I'm...

I feel bad numerically rating women, but all tens. Really? Yeah. And these are like California tens? Yeah. Well, they're Canto tens. These are not Cincinnati tens. I guess they're Canto tens. They're Unova tens. Okay. They're...

Joy's and Jenny's both hit 10. They're both beautiful women. My nephew Dominic is dating a lady named Joy. Oh, really? She was at Thanksgiving. Oh, congrats. Wait, I got one. Oh, yes, we liked her. She was kind of quiet, but we thought, okay, jury's still out, but it's looking good. What about this one? You can't reach the Cantu region without ACH.

I feel like a lot of these catchphrases are getting pretty Pokemon specific. Yeah. And that's good. Yeah. I mean, take the Pokemon out of it. Fight me, coward, and I'll grind you into the dirt. Now we're talking. Now, here we go. Fight me, coward, and I'll ground you into the dirt. How about, can I bring my Snorlax on stage? You're what now? Can.

I bring my Snorlax on stage. Slowax? Snorlax. Snorlax. Big, sleepy bear. Blocks roads. Gotta wake it up with a flute. Dash, I mean, you're a 12-year-old boy. Sure am, Scott! It sounds like Jenny and Joy, they're both professional women. Officer Jenny. Maybe you'd have more luck dating one of your Pokemon. Or does that feel weird, dating what is essentially a slave to you? I don't know, Scott. You wanna... It worked for Jefferson. You dated a lot of...

Cats and Dogs and Iguanas? You did a lot of Cats and Dogs and Iguanas? They're all animals? I mean, yeah, more or less. Do you know any 12-year-old girls that play Pokemon? I know. Okay, he's not asking for himself, by the way. No, I'm taken. Sorry, happily taken. That's maybe a good one. Not by the way. And I'm not asking for myself. And you don't ever relate it to anything. Just...

And I'm not. By the way, that is not a good defense. I'm taken. I'm taken. You're not interested at all. If there were any 12-year-old girls that were interested, I'm taken. I'm taken. I'm sorry. I'm taken. There were a couple other young people that I was journeying with for a while. There was a girl named Moisty. She was 14. Moisty. She was 14. I mean, this sounds promising right off the bat. I mean, she trained exclusively water-type Pokemon. Oh.

Oh, okay. But that's not an animal, water-type Pokemon, right? I mean, we don't have the word. I'm trying to translate for you. We don't have the word animal in our world. Oh, okay. Creature, maybe? Sure, yeah. You have that one. Subjugated being for battle. Okay, I see. And sometimes fun. And sometimes crime. SBBs.

So what happened to Moisty? Did you keep in touch? I still see her now and again. I don't know that she likes me very much. She's 14 and I'm 12. And at this particular thing, like that's just a huge age gap to traverse. Yeah, but the officer's Jenny. They must be at least 18, right? I mean, they had to have gone through Quantico and the whole training class. That's a chasm. That's a chasm. I get so nervous when I talk to any of them.

When I was a secretary at Tuffery Middle School, it's like a sixth grader's not going to go out with an eighth grader, Scott. Yeah, but maybe sixth graders had crushes on you. What is this word you keep using? You worked at a what? A middle school. A what? A middle school. See, when we turn 12, we go out into the world and that's it. Wow. And you never turned 13. No, we turned 13, but like. You're no longer in school? I am apparently allowed to just do whatever I want. Oh, that's.

All year round, capturing creatures, battle them against each other. Now that you're free, have you tried smoking? Scott's a big proponent of it. Well, hold on. I've heard two things about it. One, it's bad. Two, it's cool. Let me ask you, what do you think? I think that smokescreen is an effective attack for blocking out others. All right, well, I got a pack right here. I'll do smokescreen right now. Yeah, hold on. I got to say...

You do this for fun? Yeah. Look how cool he looks. Now smoke all of those in that pack while I watch you. And

And then we'll see if you want to smoke again. No, don't eat them. Dash, don't eat them, sweetheart. I don't think it tastes very good. No, you don't eat them. Oh, you know what? Your string cheese is ready. Oh, okay. Oh, I'm sorry. I never gave you the apricots, ACH. No, I've just been waiting patiently for them. Dash, would you like these salt and pepper cashews? You can't spell apricots without ACH. That's for sure. Could you throw in a curry for me? Throw these in a curry? Everyone in my world eats apricots.

Eatin' curry. Okay. A, B, C. Always be eatin' curry. While you get all the food together for us, we do need to take a break if that's okay. So when we come back, though, you're going to have a wonderful, slightly cooler string cheese for me. And we'll have some dried apricots for you and a curry for you, apparently. Yes, please. Yes.

By the way, that's a number 46 for me, and you're a number 83, and that's 72. Oh, I don't know what those are. I can check with the chef. Yeah, just check with the chef. All right, we're going to be coming right back with more Comedy Bang Bang. We will have Adam Caden-Holland, Sherry Barrels, and Dash Gravum. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this. My name is Lily, and I've had hydrodinitis suprativa HS for years.

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Hey, everyone. Scott Aukerman here. Y'all know me. Still the same old G. Anyway, I've been low-key. In any case, I want to tell you about a podcast that I've been enjoying. It's the Lonely Island and Seth Meyers podcast. That's right. I mean, it's right there in the title. Who's involved in this and what it is. The Seth Meyers podcast.

the one from Late Night with Seth Meyers. Anyway, he sits down with his fellow SNL alums and comedy music sensations, The Lonely Island, our pals Andy Samberg, Akiva Schaffer, Jorma Taccone, and they discuss their wildly popular and groundbreaking series of SNL digital shorts that aired on SNL beginning in 2005. Along the way, they talk about everything.

Podcasts are found.

Comedy Bang Bang, we're back with Adam, Kate, and Holland, who is munching on some dried apricots as we speak. These are delicious. Thank you so much. So dry. Oh, you're so welcome. And I've been waiting for that string cheese. Okay, here you go. Scott. Yes. Are you the type of person who eats it just by biting into it? Oh, I don't bite into it, no. You string it? No, I don't string it. What do you do? One gulp. One gulp.

All the way down the gullet? Wow! Like a pelican with a fish. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I have a WhatsApp. Oh, oh, oh. You have a wet what? I have a WhatsApp. Oh, a WhatsApp. Padre is his last name. Whoa, what's his first name? His first name is... Is it Todd? Okay.

It's Montgomery. Montgomery Padre. But he goes by Monty until there were two Montys in his senior class, so he switched to going by Padre. There were two Montgomery's in his senior class? Wow. Can you believe that? And neither of them wanted to go by their full name, Montgomery. Well, no, I think Monty, he was like, I don't like it that much. Yeah. Yeah, they were both going by Monty. Yeah, that's right. After Thanksgiving dinner, I bet he's the full Monty.

You can use that with him. You think he'll like it? Well, he seemed to like your first joke. Do you think he'll like a reference to a British movie from the late 90s? He may. I guess people also know that that means you're naked. I don't know if I could say that to Padre. We also have Dash Grabham. You ever seen a movie? You know what we're talking about when we say movie? Do you have movies in the Canto region? Mm-hmm. Cool. You know my favorite one? What's that? That's the one...

There's the Growlithe. The Growlix? Oh, I love that movie. Oh, yeah? Yeah. And it plays basketball. Yeah, the Growlix. That's Air Bud 3 starring the Growlix. There's no law that says a Growlithe can't play basketball. That sounds like a great movie. It does sound like a great movie. I think we may be talking about two different things. Dash, you're on the show and you said you had an exciting announcement. Is that right? Mm-hmm.

By all means, let us... Terry no longer... I have been invited to a vacation resort. Whoa!

Wow. I'm hanging it all up, changing my whole deal, not being a Pokemon trainer anymore. Now, you have not aged. You say you do age. I mean. But you have not aged since we've gotten to know you. I'm still 12. And that's been several years as far as I'm concerned. But time seems to work differently here in the studio. I only know how it works for me. Right. Are you older now than you were before?

before? I certainly am. You look the same. Every second I'm older. Really? Oh yeah. Doesn't that fill you with like a terrifying sense of existential dread? Oh definitely. That you won't continue indefinitely? Of course but when you stare into the abyss it stares back at you. When I stare into the abyss.

I use light-based attacks. Okay, well, that's probably a good strategy. Strong against darkness, Scott. But you have not aged yet. So far. But I'd be okay to age a little bit. How old do you want to get to be? Jenny's age. Jenny's age. How old is Jenny, do you think? Well, I was old enough to be a cop, so 15? 15?

Look, in the Canto region, who knows? I actually don't know. Who knows? It's kind of like a bar back. You start around 13, 15 if you're a cop. Yeah, you can do it a little early, yeah, especially if you're doing stuff like traffic cop. For sure, for sure. Now, who has invited you to this vacation spot? A raccoon dog. A raccoon dog. What is a raccoon dog? I think some places are called a tanooki.

In some places? Which places are these? The Kanto region? Yeah. Wait, that sounds like a Mario guy. Oh, maybe. That sounds like a Mario guy, Scott. Tanooki does? Yeah, that sounds like a Mario guy. This all sounds like gibberish to me, so I have no idea what... When Mario gets to be a cool, fun squirrel that flies? I don't know when that occurs. So sometimes Mario puts on a cape and a hat and a suit, and he's a cool, fun squirrel that flies. You know Mario? In Mario 3, that's where that occurs. Yeah, Mario is sort of... Mario is kind of...

a big deal where I'm from. In the Kanto region? People know Mario? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Does he ever visit? I mean, if there's a plumbing problem...

How often is that? Because I know there are a lot of restaurants, but no one seems to eat. Yeah, I rarely sleep in a house, so I couldn't tell you. I spend most of my time in tents. Right. So there's no sort of plumbing problem where I'm from. But yeah, I got a letter from a tanuki that was like, you get to go on an island vacation. But then I read it a little bit closer, and it seems like there's actually nothing on this island, and you have to go and sort of build it all. And I'm worried that it's a little bit of a fire fest situation. Oh.

It does sound like a trap. Yeah, it sounds like they're trying to maybe extort you for labor, Dash. But then he said you get to build your own house. And then he said you get to sort of design everything on the island. Okay. And then he said you get to plant all the trees and get bells. And I said, what are bells? And he said, bells are currency. And I said, not where I'm from. And he said, how are you talking to me? This is a letter I've sent you. And that was sort of the end of that.

This is how I feel when I talk to most of my nephews. And then I want to ask them a couple questions to bond. But then I think there's no limit. Hold on. I have to do the renegade dance from TikTok real quick. Yeah, there's just like, there's no way. Look at Dash doing the renegade dance. He's very good at it. It's very good. It took me so long to learn. It's really good, sweetheart. I had to watch a video where someone slowed it down. Do you know about Beyblades?

Beyblade? You know about Yo-Kai Watch? No, I don't. Sherry is having a meltdown here. She's never going to know anything you're talking about. Hold on, hold on, hold on. I got it, though. I had an idea for you. Okay. If you made a haunted house in a cherry orchard, it could be Sherry Barrel's cherry peril.

This is not bad. That's very good. You know what, Scott? I want to go ahead. You book me for October so I can talk about the inevitable Sherry Barrel. This is going to be the Halloween episode. So we're not doing Suicide House anymore. We're doing Sherry Barrel. No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not here to take anything from anyone. I just mean, you know, we're not doing those anymore. In the month of scares. Okay. It doesn't need to be the. What about Sherry Barrel's Cherry Apparel? I was going to say you come back in December. You sing songs about joy.

It could be Sherry Barrels, Mary Carols. Wow. These are good ideas. Okay, go ahead and book both, Scott. I'll be here in the month of scares. I don't know that I was ever going to have you back. But now I'm booking you two more times in the year. Two more times, and two of them are a little close. Big holiday shows, too. All right. Well, look.

I mean, I'll take some feedback from the listeners as well. Can you forward me any feedback they give about Sherry? Call me on my number. I will forward it directly to Scott. I guess just say which of them is more important. Okay. Sherry Perils or Mary Carols. During the witching season of Mystics, not October. That's not October? Magical season.

Oh, I don't know where we have that. Where spooks and sprites come about. This is a Canto thing, I think. Yeah, this is a Canto thing. And there's a bunch of your friends, and you invite them, and they're named Daryl, and you get them all together. It could be Sherry Barrels, Fairy Daryls. Yeah. What about... I think that's in maybe like April during Coachella, so go ahead and book me for the... For Coachella as well? I don't know. That sounds kind of like a music festival. How do you date a cop, Scott? What are they like? Well...

It's hard dating a cop. I got to say. Adam, how do you do it? I got to say. You spend a lot of nights worrying about your significant other, worrying they're not going to come home, worrying. Is there a lot of violence against cops? You mentioned this. What was it? The Me Too? No. What was it? The Me Too? Oh, Me Too. Me Too. Oh, yeah. Me Too kills a lot of cops. It's like some sort of cop killer. That situation is more or less under control. Cops in my world generally stop.

Team Rocket, Team Yell, Team another one that I forgot. Basically any group of teenagers that decided to all wear the same clothes and do minor crime. Okay. That sounds like profiling. Sometimes it's not even crime. And honestly, I would have thought so too, except that it seems like they are now making an explicit effort to have these teenagers be from a multitude of ethnic backgrounds. Well, it's funny you mentioned crime. If you want to catch a cop, perhaps you should commit.

That's right. Then she would arrest me. You lure her in and then there's that ride. And there's the jokes on you. You're in love with me now. It's a rom-com meet-cute. Yeah. The criminal she couldn't resist. It's like jokes on you. Now you're in love with me. How about that? Yeah. It's like what? Is that a good catchphrase? Jokes on you. Now you're in love with me. It's good because you tell jokes. And she could also say, you're a criminal, but you've stolen my heart. Oh. Oh.

Is there a way to summon... I'm writing this all down. Summon her here now, or does she reside only within the Kanto region? Is there a way to do something wrong and she would...

Does she have jurisdiction here in Los Angeles? I assume not, right? You have cops here. We do have cops here. Can anyone else be like, I'm a cop somewhere else, but I guess also I'm a cop here now? Usually the cops will recognize. I don't know. She could do a citizen's arrest. Look, this is America's podcast, and I would assume the Canto region is within America somewhere. It has to be. It sounds like such a wonderful place. I mean, I'm almost certain that it isn't, but yeah, why not? Well, let's try to get her.

to get her here. Maybe you want to do some sort of minor crime? Minor crime. A crime that would leave someone saying... You are a minor and you're, you know, you're going to do a crime, so maybe that would suffice. I'll just run some by you and you tell me what these are and if they're a good idea. Okay. Vehicular manslaughter. No, no.

Very aggressive. Manslaughter, you didn't mean it. You don't want that. Yeah. You don't want that. Yeah. And this has precog now, so you would not be able to get manslaughter. Premeditated bank arson. No. You have to do... This is going to be hard because it needs to have no sort of forethought and planning, but yet we're talking through it. Unmeditated bank arson. Why don't you steal my phone? Wink, wink.

Steal your phone. Wink, wink. Wink, wink. Steal my phone, wink, wink. Hello, wink, wink the phone. Nice to meet you. Oh, he's very cute. He reminds me of six of my nephews.

Oh, no, my phone. Oh, if only Officer Jenny were here to help. Get on the ground. I'm getting in a car to drive recklessly into a bank. It's getting worse. It's getting worse. Officer Jenny. Officer Jenny. Officer Jenny. Officer Jenny, are you here? Can you stop this? Oh, the classic sound of every motorcycle in the Canto region. Jenny, is that you? Officers? It's me, Mario.

Oh, no. There's some sort of plumbing problem. Sorry about that. It's me, Mario. That's okay. Miss Perils, I threw your phone in the toilet. Oh, Mario, can you...

Look, that phone, maybe your job isn't to actually retrieve phones that are in toilets as much as it is to just make sure that the water is flowing properly. It's a me Mario. But maybe you could get that phone. It's a me Mario? Sorry, Scott. If you want to talk to Mario, you have to talk to his hat. Oh, I'm sorry. Got to look up there. It's a me Mario. Wink Wink is in the toilet. Can you get Wink Wink for us? Yeah, no problem. We can get this guy out of there real quick.

Okay, Mario. And... It's-a me, Mario! Mario, that was amazing! Oh, yeah, thank you so much, Mario. It's me, Sherry Barrels! It's me, Dash Grabham. And it's me, Adam Caton. Hey, attitude! Fight me, coward, and I'll ground you into the dirt! It's-a me, Mario!

It's a catchphrase I'm working on. It's a meme, Mario. Mario took offense to that. It's a meme, Mario. It's a joke. He'll turn you into coins. Coins are coming out of your head. Oh, no. Adam smashed. It's a meme, Mario.

Oh, Mario just took off. Adam is smashed flat. It's okay. I'll shake him real quick. Hold on. Yeah, shake him up a little bit. I have a hyper potion. Oh, okay. I should use a max potion. You can't be flat much longer. I'll use it in a second because I only have a couple. Now, a max potion will give all of his HP back. A hyper potion will give a lot of it back. Dash! Dash! Dash! Okay, here you go.

Whoa! Oh my god! Now wait, I- What happened? I do like that sound. What? The one you just did, where you became reanimated from being a pancake by using this video game potion. After Mario squished you into a bunch of coins. Were you dead? That's the catchphrase? Yeah. That's the one I've been looking for? That's it! That's it! Whoa! Whoa!

Amazing! Watch out, 2020, I gotcha by the balls. That's actually not bad either. That's not bad. You might have to update it every year. I mean, something about you being flat, suddenly you're more creative than I've ever seen you before. I'm just excited to be here again. I didn't think I'd get a second chance. Were you dead? Did you go up to heaven? Oh, for sure I went up to heaven. What's it like up there? Beautiful. And I wasn't afraid. I can't wait to be there. I knew it. I'm going to go down Niagara Falls in a barrel. No!

Please let it be a sherry barrel. Okay. I've got to go to Netflix. So long, everyone. All right, look. We're running out of time. We just have time for one final feature on the show, and that is a little something called plugs.

Boogie oogie oogie boys Boogie oogie oogie girls It's time that the plug dance takes over the world Open up the plug bag I'm so scared to see

Alright, well there's more.

Oh, that was like Nick Fury recruiting Tony Stark at the end of Iron Man. Well, that was a little post-credits. Spoilers! Oh, damn it. I'm so sorry. I thought you had movies in the Kanto region. We have the movie where the Growlithe plays basketball. All right. There's no rule that says a Growlithe can't play basketball. I just want you to know, Dash, look out for that clown. He might put food in the newspaper. Which one? The one from It? Pennywise? Pennywise?

All right. That was Plug Your Heart, Baby. Oh, you say baby, too. By Gunther the Fish. Thank you so much to Gunther the Fish. All right, guys. What are we plugging? Adam, you had your thing that you wanted to talk about. Yep. Adam Cadenhall performs his signature bits, Saddle Creek Records, The Grawlix Saves the World, wherever you get podcasts. Those are two ways to listen to Adam and not watch him, unlike Netflix. Exactly. All right. But that's changing. Sherry, what do you want to plug? Okay.

I want to plug your local community colleges and your local parks and recs, uh, departments, your recreation centers. There are classes that you can take to expand your mind and they are a lot of fun and you meet new friends and you learn new skills and you can make a sherry barrel. Uh,

a sherry bottle. I'm sorry, Scott. And I also want to say that if you want, you can see a different podcast live if you live in the Pacific Northwest. And if you live in Portland, you can see it on the 20th. That's this Thursday. That's right. And if you live around Vancouver, you can see it on the 22nd. That's this Saturday. That's right, Scott. Why would this podcast take a full day off in between those shows? Oh, because one of the bookings happened and then they had to ask for dates of the surrounding cities after. And no

Friday. It's almost like they tried to get the Friday and they couldn't. But they got one on Sunday. They lost their challenges? Yeah. And then they are going to go to Seattle on Sunday the 23rd. And that podcast is called Off the Book. No. Off the Book? Off the Books. Off the Improvised Musical Podcast. Well, that sounds wonderful. And you can get tickets to any of these shows at thezackandthejess.com slash live. Okay. And Dash, what do you want to plug? I

I think I am gonna go to this desert island. You're gonna go? And then I'm gonna start over. Cool, Dad. Who invited you? Was it Ja Rule? Is Ja Rule a Pokemon? I mean, I feel like that's not my place to say. Ja Rule, if you're a Pokemon...

That's great. Do any of your Pokemons, have you ever heard, it must be the ass? Have you ever heard that? No. Write that one down, though. That's a pretty good catchphrase. Must be the ass, courtesy of Scott Aukerman. How long are you going to be gone? I think maybe for the rest of my life. I think I'm going to go there and do interior decoration and sort of live my island life with a bunch of animals. Okay.

So next time you check in with me, maybe that's what I'll be doing. Or maybe you'll never see me again. Yeah, who knows? Maybe you, I mean, it's an island. There has to be some sort of transport to it. Yeah, there's a dodo that flies a plane that will take you there. Hmm. Sounds sketchy. Yeah, be careful. I think it's going to be fine. Did you learn about

it from a bunch of influencers who just made a picture of an orange square. I saw an orange square showed up on my Pokedex and I was like, I gotta know what this is about. And I bought a deluxe suite in a villa. Oh no. You're gonna have cheese on bread. Oh, how is that cheese? Oh,

It's pretty cool. Cool. Yeah. It's slightly above room temperature, I have to say. But it's cooler. It's cooler than it was. I want to plug – look, I said it before. Check out the Michael Bolton's Big Sexy Valentine's Day special if you have any residual Valentine's energy.

And also the Between Two Ferns movie is out there. And look, if you're in what I call America, that is the continental U.S., and perhaps even the Alaska and Hawaii, you can watch on Netflix all 110 episodes of, what do I call it? Comedy Bang Bang, the TV show. And those are all fun. Were you on one, Adam? On your TV show? Yeah. No, I was not. Awesome. All right, let's close up the old plug bag. You're telling me I have to listen to another one right now? You start.

I almost successfully killed myself. Holy shit. Oh god. No! Don't open it up. Close it forever. Don't!

What? Why is this part of it? This is awful. Shame on everyone involved. Oh, man.

Oh, God. Make it stop. Can you make it stop? Just push a button. I'm looking right at you. Push the button, Brett. He doesn't have his pedals. Push the button. He doesn't have his pedals. Push the button. Push the button! Open it up!

All right. That is, of course, the Michael Hartigan remix, remixed by Jason Manzoukas. And guys, thank you so much for being here. Adam, always great to see you. Thanks for having me. I'll see you in your next hundred. Yeah, absolutely. I appreciate it. Just keep banking them. I love it. Call me, call me, and let me know what you guys think of the catchphrases. Definitely will. And Sherry, so nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. Apparently I have my work ahead of me. I'll see you in April.

April, October, and December. Got to get a lot of bookings here on the books. And Dash, good luck to you. Who knows if we'll ever see each other again. Who knows? Hopefully my future is being the same age, but married to a cop, living on an island. When you came back, you were like 25 suddenly. Hey, weird and stranger things have happened. That's true. Adam, you have one last catchphrase before we go out. There it is. All right, we'll see you next time. Thanks, bye. Here we go.