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Hey everyone, Scott Aukerman here, and welcome to another Bonus Bang, Bonus Bangs being, of course, previously recorded episodes of Comedy Bang Bang that we are taking out from behind the paywall. And this is episode three in our Bonus Bang series, Nuts vs. Nuts.
As we revisit the great Randy Snutt's episodes of Comedy Bang Bang's past, we are featuring episode number 614, which is called Bean Dip and Randy Snutt's Return, colon, That's What I Said.
Now, this originally aired August 11th of 2019. This episode has Adam Devine, Edie Patterson and Tim Baltz. All of them were there to promote their then new series, The Righteous Gemstones, which coincidentally is premiering again for its final season this Sunday. So, let's get started.
So impeccable timing here. Later on in the show, Edie and Tim's characters Bean Dip and Randy Snuts drop in, and we learn about Randy's new career joining a window-washing crew. If you like what you hear and you want to hear the entire CBB archive, you can become a subscriber at cbbworld.com, where you can find every single episode we've ever recorded, as well as every live episode. We're going to have a new episode of Comedy Bang Bang out on Monday. Until then, enjoy this bonus bang. ♪
When life gives you limes, you can make limeade or maybe a nice key lime pie. It's up to you. I don't care. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang.
Thanks to Animal for that catchphrase submission. I wonder if it's Animal from The Muppet Show. It probably is. Yeah. It sounded like it. As I recall, he said a few words during his career, during the oeuvre of Animal. He wouldn't just say Animal, although he did say he repeated that quite often, as I recall.
Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. That's my own catchphrase submission. I don't think that one's going to stick. We have a wonderful show today. Coming up a little later, we have an entrepreneur and we also have a... I'm not quite sure how to describe him, but both returning guests that have been on the show before. But before we get to them, by the way, I am Scott Aukerman. Welcome to the show. This is second week of Augie Doggie. Here we are.
In the throes of Augie Doggie. None can really dispute that. And I'm looking at all three of my initial guests here and they're all nodding their heads obediently that we are in the throes of Augie Doggie. We have three very special guests here on the show. One has been on before and the other two are making their first appearances, I believe.
They are both stars, and one is a, I believe, a producer of the upcoming HBO. It's not a television show, though, because it's not TV. It's HBO, right? So I don't know what it exactly is. A lot of people are calling it a television show. They are? Yeah. How dare they? That's just because the landscape's so muddy, but it's going to rise above that landscape. Okay. The cream rises to the top, of course. Always do. Fingers crossed. When it comes to coffee, that is.
The upcoming piece of content, The Righteous Gemstones, which comes out this Sunday on HBO. Please welcome to the show Adam Devine, who has been on the show before. I have, yes. Tim Baltz has never been on the show before. Never. Edie Patterson has never been on the show before. Nope. Welcome, guys. Thanks. Adam, I guess you've been on once, so you've taken it upon yourself to welcome them. Hey, and let's just have fun with it, you know? All right. Is that what you do? Yeah.
I don't. I take this pretty seriously, but I want you guys to. Oh, okay, because we're going to take our cues from you. Okay. Adam, I do have to say he took it very, very seriously the last time he did it. You came in more prepared than any guest that I've ever had before. So many notes. I have a lot of pre-written notes. You come in with notes on the show before we record it. Yeah, before it happens. You want to make sure your notes are addressed. A lot of questions that I think you might ask just so I'm very, very prepared. Right. Thank you. And I have the list here. That's me.
Of the questions that you thought I might ask. Yeah. Not the questions you want asked. The questions you thought I might ask. That I have to be prepared for. Much like a politician. Right, right, right. This is almost like a true debate in a way. I treat my career as if I'm running for office. That's why I leak my own nudes so I can get ahead of it. You know? I put my own nudes in movies so I can get in front of it. I believe I saw one of your last films. It had a long extended nude scene. Thank you for saying long.
Oh, you mean the other scene? I meant in minutes, obviously. And it was several, it seemed several minutes. Usually a nude scene in a movie is like. It's about seven minutes. Usually they're three seconds. Like you see the side of a boob or something. No, I really wanted you to see all the flippy floppy angles. Wow. And did you write that scene in particular? Was that? We did. Yeah. What project are we talking about by the way? That wasn't improv. I wasn't on the day going. Hey, what if? You know what?
The time is now. Let's get my whole dick and balls out. Yeah, we wrote that scene like – we wrote that movie over like the course of six years. Six years? Yeah. So what is it like – So you'd think it'd be better. Like a line a day? Yeah.
Yeah, it was just a lot of dumb drafts that we just kept. It got less stupid. So if you believe that. Really? What project are we talking about, by the way? Game Over Man. Yes, on Netflix. Currently on Netflix. We'll always be on Netflix. It's going to live there for eternity. Unless they take it down for some weird reason, which I heard they started doing.
With their originals. So I don't know. Really? You may want to watch out because I heard they'll maybe pull some stuff if there's a lot of dick and balls in it. Oh, well, then I'm in a lot of trouble. Is there a way to cut around that scene or is it pretty like...
It's important to the plot. Yeah, it really is. Yeah. It was. At what point did you say, hey, I'm going to write this scene into it? And were your co-writers like, no, please don't do that. Or were they saying, yes, yes, yes. I wish I had. We were just like brainstorming. I like big, dumb ideas for the movie. That was like one of the that and like Shaggy singing. It wasn't me at gunpoint.
was like, those are the two ideas that just stuck through every draft. Every single draft had those two things. And at one point, if Shaggy had not wanted to do the film, would you have been just crestfallen or? Well, we had a backup with Cisco. Oh, he was our number two. He was saying it wasn't me? Yeah, he was, yeah.
What's your number three? There is no number three. No, there is no number three to Shaggy Nor Cisco. Wow. No one can follow those two. Yeah. But let's – look, those are old projects. Those are old. We're not hyping those now. You know what I mean? We're here to talk about new things. That's new stuff. And you guys are all in something new. Now, The Righteous Gemstones, this is coming out this –
And I saw the pilot just the other day, an hour-long pilot, twice as long, right, as the show? Is that true? Yep. And it stars Danny McBride. It stars John Goodman. It stars the three of you. It stars Cassidy Freeman. Yeah.
And other people. Yeah. Did I miss anyone? It's a good list. Tony Cavallaro. Tony Cavallaro. Yeah. And you play a, you're all in a family. I guess, Tim, you're sort of adjunct family. Marrying into the family. Marrying into the family. Adam and Edie, you play brother and sister. That's right. Yeah.
I don't really see a real resemblance between the two of you. Was that an issue in casting? Dark hair, dark eyes, so we could be related. Once I get my Judy Gemstone hair on, we really could be related. And Judy Gemstone hair, that's not a term, like a hairdressing term that I just don't know. It actually is. That is your character. You've never heard of the Gemstone. It's a thing you can ask for in salons now. Like the Rachel? Yeah. Are you hoping that... You'll mostly just leave with your hair very curly and shorter than it was.
Is it a wig or is it your actual hair that they do to you? It's been kind of both. We did it for like a month on the pilot. These are the kind of questions that I like to ask about a project. Is that a wig? Yeah. And then later it was a very nice wig. This is what the people want to know. People that listen to Comedy Bang Bang want to know, is that a wig? Where did you stash your sides when you were filming scenes? When I listen to this, I'm always like, Scott, how do you do it? How do you do it? How do you do it? How do you do it?
Tim, you, of course, were a cast member of the Bajillion Dollar Property show, which, by the way, is now out on Pluto TV. That it is. The Unseen Season 4 is now out. Unearthed and Unseen. Unearthed, Unseen, Unwanted, perhaps, but it's out there. And you played Glenn on the show for people who don't know your previous work. Notorious Beta. Yeah.
Notorious power bottom. Just twist it off. And now, had any of you worked together before doing this show? Or is... Mm-mm.
Edie and I had met once. Really? Where? Backstage at Groundlings. Backstage at Groundlings. Very briefly, though. We didn't even do a show together. It just felt like, oh, nice to meet you. Thank you. These guys are shaking hands right now. Because you were just meeting? No, Adam was congratulating me for having met Edie. And meeting Edie. So that was really cool. That was it. But I feel like we were on a double bill. So I saw Edie perform, and I think she saw us perform. I did. And so it was like, dang, hot's up.
Yeah. Mute respect. Wow. Leave some for me. Yeah.
So describe the plot of this show, if you could, or I guess the setup or the pitch or the elevator pitch. I'll do the really, really long pitch. Oh, the really, really long pitch. It's a lot of setup. The first day God created the earth. That's a family of evangelicals, Dana McBride, John Goodman, myself and Edie Armstead.
Our mother has passed away and our family is kind of falling apart. And we run this mega church, the Gemstone Salvation Center. What state is this in? I don't know whether it was set. It's in South Carolina. It's in South Carolina. Yeah, which is where we set and we made up or Danny made up a fake town for us to live in. What's this town? Fake town. Fake town.
Fake town. It's called fake town. I mean, we shot the whole thing in Charleston, but our town is, I think, maybe once referred to as Rogers. Rogers. Yes. Beautiful Rogers. Great. Right there on the banks. Right next to Hammerstein. I don't think it's close. No? Not close? Okay. Okay.
So we're a family of evangelicals and we run this giant mega church and we sort of have lost our way and without our mom and we've sort of lost our faith and we're just greedy little pricks now. There's a lot of money involved.
huge megachurch of basically like it's a stadium. Yeah, it's a basketball stadium. A basketball stadium, yeah. And now is it a basketball stadium? And maybe, you know, this was not covered in the pilot and I'm maybe going to be asking about future episodes, but...
Do they alternate it with a basketball stadium? Do they play basketball on some nights and then on Sunday mornings it's the church? And then do they also have hockey games in there occasionally? What exactly is – how do they run this place? It's always a giant church. It's always just a church. Scott, how do you do it? How do you do it?
Now, you had thought that I would ask that question. I got that on your list. And yes, you were right. Yeah, I prepared for that one. Do you want to talk about some more hair stuff? Yeah, hair stuff. Who owns the stadium? Does the family own the stadium? Or are they leasing? Oh, you mean, I thought you meant
in real life. Oh yeah, and in real life. Answer to both, please. I feel like the family at this point owns that stadium. They own the stadium. Well, it's their church. It is their church, but do they own the stadium? That's my question. They own all. They own the stadium. I don't think you're getting it. The church is the stadium. Do they own the stadium, though? Okay. Okay.
I don't know how we got off on the wrong foot, but the church is the stadium. Was it a stadium that existed beforehand, and did they host basketball games, and then they converted it into a church? Because the pilot didn't deal with this, and I really don't. Hey, Tim, I think this might be a time for How Do You Do It?
But it's a really funny pilot. Danny McBride, of course, this is sort of the next in the line of show. He wrote and directed it. That's how you say it. Yeah, he directed the pilot. He directed the pilot. And then Jody Hill and David Gordon Green. They alternate directing the rest of it? Yeah, they did the rest of it. Oh, great. So this is a lot like his previous shows, Vice Principals and Eastbound Down. Different plot, different characters, but I see what you're saying. Ha!
But what, that's my question though is like, are the same characters from those other shows going to show up at some point? They're part of the canon of the show. They're lurking in the background. Ew. They may never be explored. But also Sneaky Pete is part of it. Okay. Sneaky Pete, really? Sure. He's in there? Longmire is in there. Longmire's in there. Shrink. Really? Longmire, uh,
He announces all the basketball games that are played in the church. Oh, my God. What about Blunt from Blunt Talk? Does he come in? That'll be there. Okay, great. Jiminy Glick. Oh, really? Jiminy? It's like that kind of show, if this makes it more clear for you. Yeah, so it's the Righteous Gemstones Extended Universe. Yes. All of these projects are part of that. And those...
That's definitely not explored in the first season. Not in the first season, really? Or maybe any subsequent seasons. Oh, okay. But just know that that is there. Okay. Remember the character, Pat?
From It's Pat? Yeah. From Saturday Night Live? Julia Sweeney's? Yeah. Yes, I do remember that. A part of our show. Oh, okay. I wonder why you brought it up. And Julia Sweeney's in there too. Julia Sweeney and Pat? Yeah. They've never been seen in the same place together. No, but they're together in this show. Yeah, they're together. This is for the first time we're debuting that. How do they do that? Are they arm and arm or did they not cross because that would be too hard to CGI? Oh, wow. And do you remember Denzel Washington? Ah.
The actor? I'm trying to think. He's been in a bunch of movies and television. Can you name some? Training Day, Man on Fire. No, no. Glory. No. Anyway, his character from Flight is in the universe. Yeah, he's our drunk pilot. Flight, I remember. Wait, so the guy in Flight is played by who did you say? A world famous actor, Denzel Washington. That's a weird name. I mean, not Washington. Obviously, that's our greatest president. Yeah.
Number one. Number one. Yep. Can't beat that. With a bullet. With a bullet. Although he did not take a bullet. Lincoln was with a bullet. Yep. Gotta wait till that guy got that one. He forgot that he didn't die with a bullet? Yeah. He didn't die with a bullet. He didn't die with a bullet. Why'd you bring up with a bullet? Yeah, why are you saying this stuff, Tim? Come on, Tim. Because of the catchphrase, number one with a bullet. How do you do it? How do you do it now? How do you do it, Tim? How do I do it? Physician, do it thyself.
And how many episodes do we have of this show? I mean... Neun. Neun! I didn't know you were German. Cool. I am. Was it 10, but the first one is an hour, so it's... Or no, it was just nine. LOL, dude. You're laughing out loud? Yeah.
It's not there. You have to laugh out loud first and then say LOL. What? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought you always had to clear the way and be like, yo, shut up. LOL coming. So you think that LOL is like the John the Baptist of laughing out loud? And then now you say it. LOL. There you go. Great. That was good. It made more sense. So you say it after the fact in case someone's like, what the fuck just came out of your mouth? Oh.
They've never heard laughter before. Yeah, in case you meet someone who doesn't know laughter. Oh, that's what it sounds like when it's out loud. So they've never heard laughter, but they know the expression LOL. I only laugh in my head. Does anybody remember laughter, which is your shirt? Yeah, that's true. Tim is wearing a shirt for a band called Lead...
What is this? Leeds of Pylon? Leeds of Pylon. Leeds of Pylon. Leeds of Pylon. Oh, Leeds of Pylon. Leeds of Pylon. You're Irish, right? I always thought that was a different name. I always thought it was Led Zeppelin. It is Leeds of Pylon. Leeds of Pylon. Leeds of Pylon. Nice Irish. She's building a stairway to... Irish band. That's cool. I didn't know that. That's cool. Over the hills and far away. Bleak Duke. Bleak Duke.
Now, Edie, you're a producer on this piece of content. Yeah, I'm a writer and an associate producer. An associate producer. Good for you. Is this – have you written on other shows? I confess to not knowing your complete IMDb resume. Oh, please. Don't worry. I have written for other things, mostly –
In Little Chunks. Sounds like The Goonies. Yeah. A great, great film. Little Chunks. Like, I have guest written it at SNL and –
He's a lawyer now, by the way. Chunk from Goonies. What? Yeah, he's an entertainment lawyer. What? I just heard that today. How do you do it? How do you do it? I just pass on information that I hear about. And does he use his Goonies fame to get law jobs? Oh, yeah. Anytime he's negotiating something for his clients, from what I understand, he's like, look, when we were on Goonies, we did it like this. We found a bunch of treasure. The truffle shuffle is how he closes every deal. Exactly. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
So you'd written for SNL, some other little things. Is this your first regular big... This was the first time in the room for a long time. I did this other thing a long time ago. Very cagey. Not sure what you're hiding. Like the sketch show. Cosby show. The sketch show. Oh, the Cosby show. Okay, I understand. With Damon Wayans. That's...
Me and my friend Mikey Day were on and also wrote with. But it was a whole different kind of experience because it was just sort of like write as much as you can every day.
Right. And this is different because you're encouraged to write very little every day or what? Yeah, you're really encouraged to go minimal on this one. Take six years for – This one's just more – Smart. Good way to do it. Done in a way that a show would be laid out for writing, I think. And this is a super – I mean, the budget on this, it looks so expensive. It's big. It's probably like a million dollars. It's probably something like that. I mean, first of all, I saw that stadium. I'm like, who owns this thing? Right. And – I don't know.
It's a church. Yeah, but it's in a stadium. Your family owns it. We went over there. No, I'm saying the person who owns it in real life. Oh, boy. Now we flip worlds. Him. Him. Greg. Oh, Greg owns it. Our buddy Greg. Thank you. This is what I'm trying to get at. Your buddy Greg owns this place? Our buddy Greg, yeah. And I've seen the pilot. It's an hour-long pilot. Very, very funny. Very expensive looking. Very impressive. Very funny.
And there's nine episodes or nine. And I don't want to say exactly what happens in the pilot, but something at the end of the pilot kind of catapults it into another level. Am I right? I would agree. Yeah, the stakes go hoi. Yeah, they go hoi. I mean, the stakes were high. Mm-hmm.
At the beginning. We all have to agree. These are high stakes. There's a lot of money. Big, big, big high stakes. There's a lot of money involved with these mega churches. But man, when those stakes go up at the end of the first episode, I was like, what's going to happen in number two? Do they go down? Do they go back down? Oh, yeah. They don't go back down? Uh-uh. Oh, no.
No. They only stay high. They stay at the same level, though. They couldn't get higher than that. I think they go higher. What? Yeah. So watch your health. If you have problems with getting excited, watch out for the show. Do you suggest people take a physical? If you're scared of heights, don't watch the show. For sure have your physical before you watch this. Because you'll be scared. Yeah, get on the proper medication. If you have any kind of emotional problems, you know, try to...
talk to a psychiatrist beforehand and get on the proper medication. Yeah, just time it out. Like earlier that week, go see a psychiatrist. About five days before? I mean... About five to... Three to five. You have to... There's a lot of prerequisites when it comes to watching The Righteous Gemstones. Sure. You really have to get yourself a full checkup. Is there any kind of written test that you're requiring people to take before they watch the show? Yeah, driver's test. Driver's test, really? Because people drive in this and you want people to know what's happening. To know...
Yeah, to not be like, wait, what are they doing? How is that done? There's actually a decent amount of driving now that you bring this up. There's a decent amount of driving in this season. And a fair amount of stunt driving. Very cool. There's a point where you can go into the show, like a VR thing, and you get to ride with Jiminy Glick. And so that's why they do the driving test. Oh, yeah. Because Jiminy's what, in the passenger seat? He's in the backseat. He's in the backseat. Oh, okay. So you're kind of spoiling him. You're sort of chauffeuring him? Is that what...
Or you're like an Uber kind of thing? Oh, okay. You're an Uber driver and you're driving Jiminy Glick. That is what it is, but I don't want to say. Jiminy Glick. I won't spoil this, but he has a great reaction when they run over Rhoda. Oh. Rhoda from the early 70s show? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Run over Rhoda. And the spinoff show Rhoda. Yeah. Remember that show, the early 70s show? Well, congratulations.
Please say LOL so I know what's happening. Wrap it up. LOL. All right. Thank you very much. Well, it's a great show. I congratulate the three of you for being in such a high-quality project. I mean, the budget on this. I was just like –
Who owns this place? It's really, really incredible. We have to take a break. And Tim and Edie, you have to take off, right? Yeah, I got to take off. That sucks. Oh, what? Yeah, peace out. So you and me, Adam. Okay. But coming up, we have an entrepreneur. So that's very exciting. And we also have, I don't quite know how to describe him, but Randy Snuts is back. I don't know if you guys have ever heard this show before, but we have an old friend, Randy Snuts. Yeah, I know. Who I don't quite remember exactly what he does other than he used to fill up the ice
at one of my favorite restaurants. Which restaurant? Diadamio's. Oh, that place is good. Yeah, it's really good. He would fill, when I say fill up the ice, I mean the ice in the urinals. Oh, so not edible ice. I don't, I don't like that. You don't like what? Someone filling up the ice? I don't like ice in urinals. Why is that? Because I don't like to see how hot my pee is. Okay.
Because if it just, everything immediately melts. Yes, immediately. I'm like, oh, I've got lava pee and it scares me. All right, well, we'll ask him. We'll ask him about that and many other questions. But Tim, Edie, so great to see you. Thanks for coming by, Adam. We'll be right back with more Adam and more coming up with Comedy Bang Bang. We'll be right back after this. This cold and flu season, Instacart is here to help deliver all of your sick day essentials.
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Comedy Bang Bang, we are here with Adam Devine of The Righteous Gemstones, and of course we know you from the classic, comedy classic, I almost said cult classic, it wasn't a cult classic because it was a very popular hit, but we're colleagues. Yeah, thank you. Yeah? Thank you for what? Thank you for calling it a very popular show, and not cult. A lot of people say cult. They do say cult? Ooh, my blood starts to boil. I think everything is a cult thing.
hit now because you know with the splintering of songs you know unless you're Game of Thrones there's just everything and a lot of people said that about workaholics just like is this Game of Thrones pre-Game of Thrones pre-game they pre-gamed of Thrones of Thrones
That's actually, you know, with the talking dead and all that, why didn't Game of Thrones have pre-Game of Thrones where people are just pounding beers and talking about what they think might happen in the episode? I see. And this is why we need to get you in the HBO family. I need to be in this family. Yeah, be part of the family. I would love to be part of this family. But before we get to that family, let's take a look at our own Comedy Bang Bang extended family because we have a guest on the show that has been on a few times before and she hasn't been on in...
Amina. I don't know where she's been. It's been a minute. But she is, as far as I can recall, she was the owner of the W Hotel. That's right. I own the W Hotel. She's an entrepreneur. She has several side hustles going on. Please welcome back to the show, Bean Dip. Hey, everybody. Hey, Bean. Dip. Do I call you Bean or Bean Dip? You can call me Bean Dip or Bean.
Mrs. Dip or Miss Dip? Call me Mrs. Dip or Miss Dip or Bean or Bean Dip. Doesn't sound like you're particular. Yeah, any of those names. Hey, just don't call me ma'am. Don't call you ma'am. Please don't. Does that have some connotations for you? Look, I'm trying to make friends with people. I'm not trying to be formal. I'm trying to be friends on a peer level. I'm not trying to be like, oh, hey, sir. Hey, ma'am. Go eat the dick.
Okay. Right? Okay, yeah. I get that. By the way, this is Adam, Bean Dip. Hey, I know. Hi, Bean. We know each other. You guys know each other. I've stayed at a lot of W's, so we've ran into each other in the lobbies and the hallways. Now, you just owned the Los Angeles one, though. I own a Los Angeles W. Yeah, and I stay there. I don't...
don't like to sometimes I'm like I don't want to stay in my house I have a little staycation I get it and then I go down to the W and can we talk about how hard it is to find a light switch in a W we can talk about it but we're not gonna do nothing about it because I need those lights dim when we let's get real out of device trying to act like oh everything's cool I go to the W sometimes when he comes there we keep the lights low and we kiss
You guys have kissed before? We've only kissed the one time. It's not a big deal. It's not a regular thing that we do that. It was just one time? Just the one. One time? If it's two, that's a regular thing. Well, the thing about Bean is the sexuality that she possesses is... Off the charts. It's off the charts. To the roof. Yeah. To the moon and back. It's to the moon and back. And was this part of Bean... I remember one of your kind of side gigs that you had was you were...
You were kissing people for money? That's right. For money. Yeah. Yes, I paid her thousands of dollars. Yeah, he paid me thousands of dollars. We had an appointment. I gave him a kiss. He paid me thousands of dollars. Am I having to block his number on my phone? Maybe. I just want it. I can understand that. I mean, Bean, we've never described your physical appearance, but it's more than that, isn't it? Well, let's get into it. Yeah, let's get into it. I'm very sunburned on my face.
To a degree that is just like, I mean, I mean, so it's so pink. It's like it's like what I like my steaks to look like. It's like my cheeks. I would say my cheeks and nose are very hot pink 80s. Shout out to the 80s.
I've never seen a woman look hotter. Yeah, but literally physically hotter. Like burnt, yes. But the rest of your body is pale as a sheet. The rest of my body is, if you look up paint colors, if you go to one of those places where they got paint haunted for,
Places at Lowe's. Sure, we know the types of places. Just say, I want whiter than eggshell, please. Whiter than eggshell. That would be white. And if they show you that, just know that's the color of my whole body. Even the part covered by my clothes. Wink, wink. I wish. I wish I could see that. And the part of your body that's covered by clothes, it's pretty minimal at this point. Usually, nine times out of ten, just my butthole.
Just like a candy floss kind of strip back there. Well, I like a candy floss strip with just a piece of construction paper cut into a circle. Right. And that covers the... The actual hole. Yeah. Now, that's usually... Today, you're wearing a little bit more because we're... Well, because I had to come up with the earwove.
Yeah, why are you here, by the way? What is going on with you? You haven't been on the show in so long. I gotta, well, I just figured I might as well hang out. I gotta pick up an order here. An order of what? Microphones. You're ordering microphones from us? To put in the rooms at the W. You're putting microphones in the room? I mean, is that in order? Is that for butler service or something? Instead of phones.
Nobody wants to get up on that old-timey phone. So I'm putting microphones in every room at the W. You could just go, hello, hello. I would like a service, food, kissing, something else, running a bath. Okay. I mean, this actually, yeah, I mean, this makes a little bit of sense. It makes a ton of sense. It's sort of like Alexa in a way. Uh-huh. It's exactly like Alexa. Alexa, play the Star Spangled Banner. Ooh. Ooh.
I haven't heard this rendition. This is different. This is very different. Is it counter melody perhaps? My children. Oh, my baby is my children. My baby is my children. And the world.
And the world. And the world. Wow. My babies, my children, and the world. My babies, my children, and the world. And the world. Started off locally and now it's global. See, and this is why the W is so progressive. You go in there, they're playing some fun house music that you've never heard of from Germany. And it smells good.
Like cologne. Like a bad cologne. Yeah, like a bad cologne that you wouldn't put on your body, but somehow they pump it through the ventilation system. But somehow they're able to sell it for a lot of money. Oh, yeah, we sell that for $400 a bottle. $400. You do? Really? Wow. Neon everything. Everything's blacklit. Because we're talking about sexy. Yeah. Yeah, it is a very sexy hotel. Now I get it. So you're just here to pick up the microphones. Here to pick up the microphones. I feel I might as well come by and say hi.
I'm going to have to make about four trips. Four trips? Uh-huh. Why didn't you bring someone with you who could carry... I brought a van. There's a lot of rooms at the W. Okay. All right. All right. Just bring...
All right, maybe you can't hire three other people to bring three other vans. Listen, I can, but I won't. Okay, see ya. Okay. Being deaf kind of does her own thing. Yeah, she's a lone wolf. You tell me, oh, hey, I could get these guys to come build something at your house. Oh, hey, I could have this chef to cook for you. No, thanks.
Really? So you are totally self-sufficient? Absolutely self-sufficient and self-satisfied. You know, the Beatles once said, I get by with a little help from my friends. Not me. Fuck them Beatles. Fuck the Beatles? Uh-huh. There's only two of them still alive. Well, go, hey, go. But the question is, have you? Obviously. Which Beatles? I mean...
Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr. The two alive ones, you dicks! Okay, well, I don't know if you maybe had George Harrison while he was still with us. Uh-uh. No. No thanks. Really, so John Lennon's been a guest on this show several times. Uh-huh. He came back to life...
Adam, you probably haven't heard these episodes, but yeah. John Lennon. John Lennon was, of course, shot dead. And then about five years later, four years later, he decided to come back to life. And so now he's just been hanging out. Anyway, he's been on the show several times. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah, I should hook you up with him. Well, do it. Because I haven't met him. If I do meet him, I'll have three on the list. Yeah. Three of those Beatles. It will be so easy for me.
What is it about you that people just end up falling for you? It's like a chemical thing. It really is. They don't want to look because if they do look, I'll get them like a vampire. I'll get them all tranced out, and then they just want to follow them dicks and pussies. It's the opposite of Medusa. Uh-huh. Yeah. Just only one part of you turns to stone. Oh.
Oh, I don't know what he's talking about. The penis. The what? The penis. The penis. Oh, why didn't I think of that? Yeah. You were telling me, though, that you have kind of a new business venture that you're looking into. Yeah. What exactly? It's like, you know how it's on? Here's a scenario. Okay. I'm walking along. I'm on a hot dog. I'm sorry. I didn't quite understand what you just said. I'm walking along. I want a hot dog. You want a hot dog?
You want a hot dog. All right. But the thought that goes through my head is, that's not healthy for me. I can't have that. That's not good for my constitution. There's a lot of nitrates. Nitrates. Pig parts that I'm not familiar with. Hoops. Beets that I don't want. So I think, what could I have that's better than a hot dog? I have introduced to you cucumbers and buns.
Yum. Cucumbers and buns. Uh-huh. I'll have a truck here in downtown Los Angeles. Cucumbers and buns. The truck will be called CIB. CIB. Okay. Sib. Kib? Yeah, maybe Sib. I don't know. It's called Comedy Bang Bang.
I don't want to cause any confusion in the marketplace here. We already had the truck printed. Well, I do admit that my trademark does not extend to food trucks. That's what I already figured out. Go to the Titty Council. The Titty Council? Is that what you said? Hey, you want Titty Council? Lift up my shirt. City Council? That's where I get my names for my trucks.
Of course, the old expression that we've all said. Do you cook the cucumbers or are you charring them at least? Great question. We steam them and then we boil them.
Then you boil them? Boil them. Uh-huh. Okay. And then you can get mustard, mayonnaise, ketchup, anything you like. So they're soft. Soft. So everything that people like about cucumbers, the snap, the... We don't play that game. No, it's just kind of mushy. Uh-huh. No snap, no nothing. These are safe for everyone, including babies. Really? Babies can eat these because they're all just mushy? Babies can eat these.
love these babies is all biggest market we have children coming there without the parents we have to call the police all the time
So just children, it's almost like the Pied Piper, your truck, in a way. They're just like wandering outside because they hear. Do you have like, does it play music, the truck? Yes, it plays. Only Pearl Jam 10. Oh, wow. Pearl Jam 10? That's it. Front to back? Front to back. And then repeats? It's not on random. It's not on shuffle? Pearl Jam 10, repeat. Pearl Jam 10, repeat. Pearl Jam 10, repeat. In order, thank you. It's a concept album. I didn't realize that. Oh, please.
What is the concept? I guess I've only heard it a few times front to back. The concept is, Jeremy is having a hard time. Well, that's one song, certainly. That's the whole rest of it, man. I didn't realize that extended to a live. He's spoken. I don't know if he spoke on the other nine. He did. You know what Evenflow's about? That's about a child with OCD who wants to get that peanut butter on every corner. Get that Evenflow.
That song's about peanut butter? That song's about Jeremy and his OCD. Okay, okay. I didn't realize. I mean, you've heard it way more times than I have, obviously. Yeah, so don't check yourself. Don't stress yourself. Okay, we'll do neither of those things. So when children hear Pearl Jam's 10, they know that the CIB truck is coming through. Uh-oh, the CIB truck coming to Bang Bay. It's real close. We better go get our cucumber hot dogs. Wow, and how have sales been?
Through the roof. What does that mean exactly to you? One month, 14 million. Wow. 14 million cucumber and buns? Augie doggy alone, 14 million. Whoa, already? Uh-huh. That is impressive. And this shit has barely started for August. Wow.
It's popping off for you. Hey, man, it's popping off. I'm about to sell the W. You're going to sell the W and just concentrate solely on solar? Thinking about it? Because when I'm at the W, I have to be at the desk to answer every microphone call that will come in. It seems like you could hire people for that, but again, you don't like to. They're not going to do it right. You don't like to delegate. Uh-uh. Yeah. So who would you sell the W to? Oh.
Probably to like Madonna or maybe like to Someone that would get it, Kesha. Kesha. Gaga. Chaka Khan. Yeah, I get that. Yeah. It's got to be a pop star, a female pop star. Probably a female pop star of varying degrees of success. Yeah, a female pop star who knows what sexy is, who knows how to run a business. What about a cool DJ? Is she a female sexy pop star?
Well, she wouldn't be a pop star. She would be a cool DJ. Cool DJ. Although there is crossover appeal with some DJs. The Chainsmokers, you could call pop stars, even though they are DJs. Steve Aoki, though, not a pop star, just a DJ. Straight DJ. Yeah. But we should discuss DJs and see if they're pop stars as well. Okay. How about Diplo? Diplo? I think he's a pop star as well. He crossed over. Yeah, he definitely. How about T.S. Stark? R.I.P. R.I.P. Did he die? No, I think Avicii did. Avicii.
Although Tiesto probably will at some point. At press time, he is still with us. Good. Good. And we hope it stays that way. I'm not rooting for anyone to pass away. No, I'm not rooting for God nor the devil to take him. No, I don't want either. I'm sweet when it comes to this. But I would say Tiesto...
I think he's just DJ. Me too. Yeah. What about Calvin Harris? Calvin Harris? Pop star. Well, no. I mean, when he sang his own songs, I would say pop star. But now that he's...
He's back to just DJing. He's back to just DJing now. Once you did it, you can't get out of that box. What about Shaq Diesel? DJ Shaq Diesel. This is a great question. This is the one that the kids are talking about most. And so he had a rap career before. Right. And then now he's kind of strictly DJing, but also people know him as Shaq.
As a commentator, mostly. And also, he's got that name Shaq, which was a very popular basketball player. Was? Is he? That he was? He was. Yeah, Shaq was. It was a few years back. Okay. And then Diesel, which was a pretty popular style of jeans. Or a cool way to describe somebody with muscles. Yeah. Or like a cool truck that you're like, whoa, that thing can probably haul some boats. Trucks. That reminds me of a previous guest. Yeah.
Anyway, so this is – I mean I would say just DJ at this point for Shaq Diesel. I'm sorry. You disagree? I do disagree because I'd love to hear him sing. I would love to hear him sing too, but –
At this point, I have not heard it, so I think we're just a DJ. Have we run out of examples of DJs? What about pop stars? Let's talk about pop stars. Okay. Katy Perry. Is she a DJ? No. Yeah. You think she's a DJ? She could. She's so talented. She can do anything. Favorite halftime performance of all time? Of all time, really? Yes, please. Eclipsing Prince, eclipsing... Who? The Who? No. Who? Lady Paula. Third base.
LOL. Well, this is good for you, Bean Diff. It's so great to see that you have so much going on. This is incredible for you. Really, really good to see you again. Yeah, it's great to see you, Adam. And please unblock my number because I wouldn't mind just catching up. Yeah, it does work. Get on that microphone.
Why don't you catch up right now? Okay, let's do it. How are you? I don't... This is... We have a kind of a private relationship. That's okay. There's not a lot of people listening to this show. I think you're okay. Okay, Bean Dip, I love you. And I know that you're seeing other people and you're getting money to kiss other people. And I'm okay with that for our relationship. Okay. Well, then let's get into it, man. As long as you don't care who I'm dating. Charlize Theron, Harrison Ford...
You don't care who I got dating? You could be one on my list. You're dating Harrison Ford? Uh-huh, and Charlize Theron. I don't know if this is going to work out. I'd draw the line at Harrison Ford. Really? What's threatening about Harrison Ford to you? His earring. His earring, yeah. It's very masculine. It's very, very tough. I think he got that maybe for the— Not so much his career. I feel like we have kind of the same career. Yeah, in a lot of ways. In a lot of ways. Yeah. I feel we have the exact same career, but that earring—
Yeah. I don't want to mess. I don't want to mess with that. So I would say Game Over Man is the Air Force One of our generation. Agreed. Yeah. And Pitch Perfect 2 is the fugitive. There's a lot of parallels there. So maybe you should look at maybe you got more similarities and you got differences with somebody. You need to stop fighting.
You're walking, you're getting very close to having them here. Yeah, okay. Yeah, well, I know I can't be resisting. Get them pants off. I don't know that we want to see your pants off. Oh, whoa, there they go. Oh, damn. They made such a weird noise coming off, too. Because they're soaking wet. Yeah, what's going on with those things? They were soaking wet. It's pretty hot outside. I don't want to get into it. He likes to get them straight out of the washer. All right, I'll put them back on.
How do you vacuum seal them like that? My God, those are so tight. These guys tell no lies. Wow. Well, look, I cannot tell a lie. We do need to take a break. And I'm not lying about that. In fact, in mere moments, you're going to hear us go to a break. So you do not have to doubt the veracity of that statement. We have to go to a break. Bean Tip, can you stick around? Yeah, I guess.
Stick around. We have Randy Snuts is going to be here. You've never met him before. Oh, boy. Okay. That's what you think. Really? You've met Randy Snuts before? Uh-huh. Okay. Well. Let me ask you this. Can I lay down on the table during this break? Yeah, sure. Because I need to gear up for this bitch. Yeah. Check your quickness. Yeah. Yeah. Lay down. Just like we would be eating sushi off you at a weird party. Order out. Yeah. All right. Great. And Adam, you'll stick around as well?
Great. That sounds good. Why'd you have to make such a decision out of it? I mean. Just being around bean dip for any longer. I know. It's draining. I've already taken my pants off once. But look, they're on their. They're strapped back on. They are tight. Yeah. We will be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this. Yeah.
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Comedy Bang Bang, we're back here. Adam Devine of the Righteous Gemstones coming out this Sunday on HBO. And you play a character, it appears, by the name of HBO. Is that what you said? No, HBO. You play HBO? You say every letter. I was saying Hubbo. Oh, Hubba. Hubba. Hubba Hubba. Yeah. Okay. That's cool. That's interesting. You play a character named Kelvin. I do. That's a real name. That's a real name.
That's your character's name, certainly. According to Danny McBride, that's a real name. That's a real name. And that's what my parents named me. Okay. Great. And how is it – did it take you a while to get acclimated to that? To like when people would say Kelvin, would you say like, that's not me, that's not my name, my name's Adam? Yeah. And I do that with every character I play. Right. As an actor, immediately you go on the defensive. Sure. And people are like, hey, what's up? And then they'll say your character's name. In this case, it's Kelvin. And I'm like, what the fuck did you just say to me?
Right. Do you think I'm Kelvin right now? Am I in my wardrobe right now? And they're like, yeah, you're fully in your wardrobe. You're on set. We've called action. Yeah, and then I go, okay, I guess you want to see this. And then I snap into character. Whoa. I make hard turns. Just hard lefts, hard rights. I don't go left. I'm mostly going right. You're always going right. I'm always kind of looping around. Pardon me. Forgive me for-
Saying that you went left. It's okay. It's just my technique and everyone has their own thing. Sure. I just assumed part of your process was to go left and I don't know why I assumed that. Don't assume. Okay. Yeah, because. You know what happens when you assume? I don't. People don't like it. People don't like that. People don't like it when you assume. They don't care for assumptions. That is.
Is the phrase. We also have Bean Dips here. Bean Dips still here. Hey man, how's it going? You woke up from your nap. Hey, Bean Dips awake. Hey. Wow, you are yawning and... I got refreshed, dog. As the cock crows here. Here you are. You're all woken up and we're ready for our next guest. He has been on the show before. He, I guess...
I don't know whether it's fair to say that he's an entrepreneur as well as much as he's a working guy. I mean, like 85% of the guests that you have on the show are entrepreneurs, according to you. It seems like everyone comes on and they have something that they want to talk about, some new business. That's cool. But you have just worked at Jobs. Is that right? Yeah, that's true. Please welcome Randy Snuts. Thank you. I mean, cool. I should listen to the show.
You should. Yeah, there's a lot of cool stuff happening. Yeah, we have over 600 episodes. Listen to the 10-hour one first. The 10-hour one first? Yeah, you'll enjoy that one. Just to get acclimated? Yeah, yeah. Cool. Yeah, you'll have one reaction or another to that one. Which one do you think I'll have? I would gather that you'd be all in after listening to it. Yeah, me too. Dang, this is a trial by fire, and I'm not guilty. Welcome back, Randy. It's so great to see you. Do you know Bean Dip Says She Knows You?
Hey, hello again. Yeah, we have carnal knowledge of each other. Really? I hooked up with her when I, my grandma gave me $1,000 after she died. Well, she didn't, she like willed it to me. And then Carissa and I run. There was no confusion on my part. I didn't think she passed away and then somehow gave you the $1,000. Yeah, she kept it in her hand. And then there was a note that said like, Randy is the only person who can grab this out of my cold, dead hands. What a cool grandma. Yeah, she's titsed out. Wow.
That was like, that's the Charlton Heston thing. Grabbing something out of cold dead hands. So, yeah. Huh? Well, he didn't want anyone to, he said the only way people would take his guns was out of his cold dead hands. Oh, this was $1,000 and I did not spend it on guns. I spent it on a night with bean dip. One night? Uh-huh. A full on night. But now, Adam, you paid thousands and thousands of dollars just for one kiss. I paid thousands and thousands, yeah. So, have your rates gone up or...
My rates vary, okay, ma'am? What does it vary upon? Why was I more expensive? You came to my service, which it says, this much for a kiss. I met Randy in real life. So you met Randy off the clock. Uh-huh. But you still charged him. I met Randy at CVS, and he decided to pay for a night of fun, including water park. Oh, okay. We bonded over how long my receipt was. How long was it? Dude, that's what I said.
That's what you said. Yeah, that's what I said. That's what you said. You said that? Yeah, I was like... Wait, wait, wait. That's what you said? That's what I said, dude. Wait, you said that? Yeah, I said that. Who said this? I said it. That's what you said? That's what I said. How long was it? That's what I said. That's what you said? Yeah, Bean Dip was there. The receipt came out. How long was it? Why would you say that? You said it? I said it. Who said this? I said that. That's what you said. I said that. That's what you said. Yeah, that's what I said. That's what I said. That's what you said? That's what I said. This is what you said?
What? No, that's what I said. That's what you said. Yeah, Bean Dip was there. You were there? That's what he said? That's what he said. But not CBS. This is at CBS. CBS! Oh! You said that at...
I see where the confusion is. Adam and I thought that you were saying CBS, and so that's why we were like, why would you say that? All right, yeah, because you guys are... That's not the Peacock Network. It's the Tiffany Network, I believe. No, you're both wrong. Tiffany, another... Is she a DJ? Tiffany's... Was Tiffany a DJ or was she just a pop star? A DJ, a pop star. She was a pop star. She was a pop star. You know Prince wrote Manic Monday for the Bengals? I do know that, yes. And then Tiffany covered it and took all the glory.
Just like Carissa, my current girlfriend has always taken the glory out of my life. Wait a minute. You're back with Carissa? I thought you were broken up with Carissa. Scott, it's not on again, off again. It's off again, on again. Okay. So you're with Carissa currently. Yeah, of course. Describe, for those of you who don't recall your previous appearances, describe your relationship to Carissa. Fraught with calamitous scandal.
She's always adding needless drama to my life. She, as in the way you would describe it a lot of times, she had a lot of scandalous behavior. Yeah, she did. She's duplicitous.
What would she do exactly? She'd always be like, Randy, meet me out at the Burger King. I'm going to buy you dinner. I'm like, oh, man, lucky me. So I show up at the Burger King, and it'd be a location that's been closed for weeks. Really? She would do this to you? Yeah, and then she'd be like, ha-ha. She'd take you to the recently closed Burger Kings? Oh, she wouldn't even be there. She'd be punking me because that was her favorite show. I'll try to tell Randy that's a classic move. But it...
Can we all admit Punk was a pretty good show? It's going to be back from what I understand. Give me a reboot. Yeah. So very excited for that. Is she excited? Is Carissa excited about this? Yeah. She's the only thing that she's talking about. I'm dreading it because it's going to give her new ideas for scandalous behavior. It's going to reignite this thing.
Love for punking you. Yeah, it is. Yeah. How does she find these Burger Kings that have just recently closed? I don't know. I don't. Yeah. I guess I didn't realize Burger Kings are closing at that. It's such a rapid accelerated pace. Yeah. It's like Sears. But 1% figured out that they could just chop it up, sell it off and make a bunch of cash off these dead Burger Kings. Makes sense. So they're just closing all over the place. She's constantly sending you to these. Yeah. Sorry to talk about the economy in this economy. Oh, in this economy? Yeah, this economy. Wow. Yeah.
That's what I said. So that's, wait, that's what you said? That's what I said. That's what you said. What did you say? I just said, yeah, that's what I said. What did you say? A second ago. Like a couple of seconds ago at this point. Oh, wait, that's what you said. Yeah, that's what I said. But like what? That crack about the economy. Oh. Oh.
Oh, got it. Got it. That's what you said. So what's been going on with your, I guess, your life, Randy? I mean, you've had many jobs. You were fired for stealing at a convenience store that you worked at because you kept saying the word yoink as you stole things. Yeah, well, I said it too loud once. I'm back in the workforce. It only takes once, by the way.
Yeah, no kidding. That's what I said. So you would steal and then as you were stealing something, you'd say yoink? Yeah. And then like I was getting away with it. I didn't realize because I was saying it quietly. I thought at first I was like, man, me saying yoink is like exonerating me. Like people are like, dang, that's ballsy. So they weren't like busting me. But it turns out – You had just been saying it very quietly. And they weren't seeing me steal the stuff. Right. And the one time you said it loud, they said – They turned and looked. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then you were fired from the position. Yeah.
I was walking out with some beer for my boys. Who are your boys again? Just like a crew of good dudes. Right. Yeah, but by name. How many are in this crew, by the way? Two guys named Kevin and a guy named Michael. Okay. Two Kevins. Yeah.
Yeah. That is a good crew. That's a good crew. Four people. What happened to Jeff? No, Jeff's out of the crew. What happened? He sent scandalous text messages to Carissa. No. Yeah, he leaked his own nudes to her. No. I mean, that's one way to go. That's a good idea. Get ahead of it. Yeah.
Really? And how did... Was she receptive to these? Yeah, of course. She was like, yo, Randy, get over here. Look at this. Wait. I guess when I meant receptive, meaning Keevy had hidden from you and just... Uh-uh. She, like, saved it to her photo roll and then she, like, started editing it and she was, like, drawn, like...
Little, like, circles around. Like, she was like, look at this part of his body. It's a lot better than yours. Which parts are we talking about? I don't know. Pretty much everything. Oh, okay. She just circled the whole part of his body? Yeah. Did that make you feel bad? Yeah, it made me feel terrible. Aw, you poor baby. You need to get away from her. Dang, I wish I had $1,000 right now. Well, that's what it takes, bitch.
We're nowhere near a water park at this point, too. So there's a lot of obstacles. I'm about to turn into a water park. I don't know what you're talking about right now. Well, that's what I said. Okay. Is that what you said? Yeah, that's what I said. So what is going on with your life non-Carissa? Do you have a job now? Yeah, I reentered the workforce. You did? Yeah, I'm working for a window washing crew. Really? Yeah. Okay. A bunch of dudes that get up really early. Yeah.
How early do you have to get up to wash windows? Is that because you need daylight? Yeah. But you want to get on top of it right away. So like you got to be ready to roll by the time the sun's rising. And they're a bunch of coke heads, but otherwise cool dudes.
That's cool. And what location is this? Location? Well, I mean, do you travel around the city doing this, or are you washing one place's windows primarily? Anyone who wants us to wash their windows, that's the name of the game, Scott. Okay. Goddamn. But I guess, do you have a regular route? Mr. CEO over here is like, how do jobs work? Fucking embarrassing me. Call me on my show to fucking...
Take down the blue collar working, man. I'm going to be listening to Styx on the ride home. How much is a loaf of bread these days, by the way? Jesus Christ. I don't know. $4 if it's shitty. How much is a good one? I don't know. $6? $8? All right. Depends on the location. I got Mr. Moneybags over here probably shopping at Erstwhile or whatever that fancy-ass place is. Air One? Yeah, whatever. Erstwhile?
I don't fucking know. Yeah, you don't because you're a regular working class guy and that's what we love about you, Randy. I saw bread at convenience stores. What? Yeah. Butternut or whatever the white stuff is. Oh, they sell bread. I thought you said I saw bread at convenience stores.
So you're doing the window washing thing. Is that precarious? I mean, are you afraid of heights? By the way, don't watch The Righteous Gemstones if you're afraid of heights. Because those stakes get high. Yeah. So you're a psychiatrist about three days before. Yeah. A lot of conditions on watching this show. No, I got bad vertigo. Then I wouldn't recommend it. Yeah, definitely not. Yeah. How bad is your vertigo? Pretty bad. Yeah? Yeah. I piss my pants if I get scared.
So why are you doing a window washing job? I had him. Come on, man. I had to do it. Spiking a water pot. On a full bladder, too. No kidding.
Dang. He wanted your pants to be as wet as his. We're about 20% through this piss right now. It's still going. Wait, you started a piss? Yeah, at a full bladder. That was a good scare. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, I really scared him there. So – Is this going to short circuit the electronics here or we're – Oh, I think we're all good. Yeah, we learned very early on to make these water resistant. Yeah. That's just going to soak up in my Ugg boots. Yeah. Yeah.
So why are you washing windows if you have terrible vertigo? I mean, it seems like every single day would be a nightmare for you. Dude, how many of these problems do I have to solve for you? I wash the ground floor windows. I'll let the rest of the team do the rest. Wait, so I'm in like a hotel that's, say, 30 stories high. Like the W. Like the W, thank you. Much like the W, yeah. You're only doing 1 30th of the work? I mean, I wash the inside of the windows.
Of, wait, of all of them? All the way up? Yeah. Okay. Vertigo. And that doesn't give you vertigo? No, because I'm not going to fall out the window. Really. Isn't that normally like just a housekeeper's job? Or this is the service that you provide? Two Hollywood guys trying to take a shit on a blue collar man? Just trying to make money? Y'all should be ashamed of yourself. Why don't you? Wait, me? No, them for taking all the work of me. What'd you say? Is that what you said?
Here's my question. That's what I said. Here's my question. If I were you, I would just pay someone to wash the windows. So this is a pay-to-play situation? Goddamn. I don't know why you're washing windows when I would just hire someone to wash windows. Honestly, it seems like a lot of work. I would just take just a small part of the money in my bank account and pay someone to wash all the windows. So you guys are so far gone, you don't even understand the economy and this economy. Yeah.
How hard is it to find some rube who's willing to wash the windows at a fraction of what you're getting paid to do it? Would you do it?
Yeah, I would do it if I could. But now that you got me thinking, maybe I'm the Rube that they hired to wash these windows. I think that you might be. Son of a bitch, man. What is it written on my face? Take advantage of me? I'm sorry, Randy. I know life seems to deal you poor hands consistently. And it's terrible what you've gone through. Yeah, you got to know when to hold them, know when to roll them. Exactly. Know when to walk away, know when to have fun.
It seems like the first half of your lyrics are always consistently Kenny Rogers, and then the second half is a parody that seems to be related to drugs. I'll bust it again. No.
So, Randy, you're doing the Windows thing, but what do you got on the weekends? Because I know you're always up to shenanigans on the weekends. How am I blowing off steam? Yeah, exactly. Well, lately I've been going to Little League games and trying to give lectures to the kids after their games. What kind of lectures? I'll go to the losing team and I'll be like, don't get too down. And then I'll go to the winning team and I'll be like, you ain't shit until you win the championship.
Unless you got a hand covered in rings, you ain't nobody. That's honestly – that's good advice though.
And this is something that the teams want you to do or this is just something that you're kind of doing for fun? Honestly, I do it to get out of the house and stop getting punked by Carissa. Right. Well, it seems like she's punking you outside of the house. I just got a lot of ideas. And since my penmanship is terrible, I don't like to keep a journal. Oh, OK. What's wrong with your penmanship? Do you not know how to form the letters or? It just looks jacked up like here. OK. Give me something to write. Here. Here you go. OK. All right.
There we go. Okay. Oh, my God. That's an ugly handwriting. That is. I don't know. It looks like hieroglyphics. That's making me nauseous. It's giving me vertigo. God. Oh, that's disgusting. I've never seen handwriting that literally makes me want to vomit. Yeah. Maybe I'll write some more and make you guys fucking puke. Stop. Stop it. Stop it. Oh, God. Y'all been slagging off on me.
Dang, taking the piss out of Randy. I'm sorry, Randy. We haven't seen you in maybe a year or so. Yeah, I know. I missed you guys. Did you really? Yeah, especially you because I've never met Adam before. Right. All respect. Yeah. I think you guys have something good going on here, though. I mean, you guys are kind of vibing a little bit. And Beamed Up and I definitely vibe for $1,000. Right. Yeah. How much were the water park tickets that day?
I don't know, like $7.50. $7.50? That's a good deal for a water park, I would say. There is a great water park in Northern California. I said, take me there or don't take me nowhere. So you drove all the way up to, a lot of people say NorCal.
Uh-huh. Yeah, we drove all the way up there. Drove about an eight-hour drive or... Yeah, yeah, yeah. We took the scenic I-5 route. That's not the scenic route. The Pacific Coast Highway is the scenic route. The I-5 is pretty grim. Yeah, but water is just the same. Like, the terrain on the 5 changes on either side of the car. Sure, yeah. You get cows, you get...
Grass. You got other cars. You got three lane, four lane highways. Sure, sure. Construction. A lot of construction these days on the I-5. So, and how long was the trip? Was it just for eight hours up? How long were you at the water park? Day trip only. $1,000. You do not get an overnight. So were you like an hour at the water park and then you go back down? We spent about one and one half hours at the water park. Okay. How many rides did you go on?
Or slides. What do they call them? Seven, eight. What do you think, Randy? I would say seven or eight. Yeah, probably seven or eight. Seven or eight slides in an hour? Uh-huh. That's a pretty good rate. Sorry, Adam. Fastpass. We had VIP. Yeah, we had VIP Fastpass. You had a VIP Fastpass. So, wow. How much are the normal tickets? Well, who's the 1% now? Oh, dang. I got a taste of the good life. Now I'm never looking back.
Don't you think you should have saved that $1,000? I mean, you know, you're a guy who gets excited when his girlfriend says that she's treating him to Burger King. You know, that $1,000 really could have come in handy. Yeah, but Scott, it was free money. Like, I had to look at it as an investment in my own happiness. Okay. Just like a total bonus in my life that my grandma had bestowed on me. So, you
You know, I chose to like, and Carissa and I were on a break and I knew we were going to get back together. Sure. Because I'm weak. Sure. She pressures you. What does she do when you're on a break? Does she go out there and date a lot of other people or? Yeah, she goes through my crew. Bang, bang, bang. Really? Kevin, Kevin? No, no, no. Those guys are in my crew because they haven't gotten with Carissa yet. And Michael as well. Yeah. Kevin, Kevin and Michael have not hooked up with Carissa. But Chad, Derek and Jeff. Oh, man. Oh. What happened to Travis? Oh.
Carissa went so nuts on him that he moved to Ohio. No way. Back home. Damn. I moved back in with his parents because he was like dying. That's savage. Wow. Amazing.
And Randy, anything else going on in your life? I mean, you got the obviously the window washing is taking up the majority of your time during the week and then the lectures to the children on the weekends. Anything else happening? Yeah, I downloaded a Nintendo emulator on my PS4, so I'm going wild on that. Wow. Yeah. Pac-Man, Excitebike, Castlevania 1, Castlevania 2, Castlevania 3, Mega Man 2.
Are you done? Not the first Mega Man? No, that one's trash. Mega Man 2 and 4 are where it's at. Mega Man X is getting a little too complicated. It's like, this is 8-bit. What are you guys trying to do? Like trying to play Final Fantasy on 8-bit on NES? You're a fucking dork.
Wait for the system to get better or roll the dice with your friends. Yeah, roll the dice with your friends. I mean, yeah, roll the dice with your friends. That's more fun. Yeah, that's what I said. Yeah, that is what you said. That's what I said. I now know that that is what you said. How do you do it? How do you do it?
Hey, wait a minute. That's Tim's line. Well, Randy, thank you so much for dropping by. We're running out of time here. We only have one final feature on the show, and that is a little something called plugs. I don't need your plugs, but I want some. Tell us what you've been up to to make your income.
TV shows, movies, and podcasts. That's what I want to know. Now tell me about your books.
Ooh, that was I Don't Need Your Plugs, parentheses, but I want some, in parentheses, by Tanner4105. If you have a plugs theme, send it on over and you can be famous for a week. Was that a DJ or was that a pop star? Tanner's world famous after that plug. Yeah, incredibly famous, but just for this week until the next episode. It'll wear off. That's a week-long famous. Yeah, that's the flame. Flame is fleeting. Flame is feeding. I'm always chasing the flame. Just like the Bengals.
The eternal flame. Um, guys, what are we plugging here? Obviously the righteous gemstones is, uh, going to be coming out this Sunday on HBO. Uh, Adam, I'm all righteous all the time. So tell us about your character in particular, because we've talked about the family. I play a young Kelvin Kelvin, of course, gemstone. I'm the youngest, uh, in the family and I'm a sassy little bitch. You're sassy. Yeah. I noticed that I've been put upon, uh,
everybody else in the family they get Danny's character he gets all the respect all the glory Edie's character she's the girl so you know dad loves her and I'm sort of
just like looked past and he just gives me money and I buy video games. And you just buy video and you buy standup video games. Boy, Randy, you're getting excited by this prospect of video games. Yeah. I hope this character invites me over. Yeah. Yeah. You're more than welcome to come over and visit set. Cause they're all working. You're part of the righteous gemstones extended universe. Are you not? Yeah, absolutely. You and Jiminy Glick. Yeah. You're on the Jiminy Glick VR ride. Yeah. He's my uncle's buddy. Really? He is really. Who's your uncle?
I mean, a guy named Brett. Okay. All right. I guess I'm more defensive right there. Why? He's not famous. Okay. He just knows Jiminy Glick. Okay. All right. Fine. Yeah. And needless to say, the stakes, man, those were so high at the end of that episode. But they're going to – I feel like if you like stakes – Yeah. Yeah.
Whether to eat or to... Because there are steaks on the show. Yes. A lot of times. Anytime I noticed... I was watching the first episode and I was like, every single time anyone ate on the show, they were eating a huge, just like... Gigantic steaks. Gigantic, like prime rib steak. And that goes to the steak...
The stakes within the episode. Right. The episodic stakes. Right, exactly. Okay, well, this is amazing. And it's nine episodes. First one comes out this Sunday. Yeah. Anything else going on with you that you want to plug? I'll let you plug anything. Yeah, I...
Don't you have a show on Comedy Central coming out? No. Or is it Netflix? No, I have a stand-up that came out a month ago called Adam Devine's Best Time of Our Lives on Netflix. I'm doing a voice on this cartoon called Green Eggs and Ham. That's also going to be on Netflix. Is that the Dr. Seuss thing? Yeah. Whoa. Amazing. Diane Keaton and Michael Douglas. Never met them. Whoa. But they're in the show.
And then I got a movie coming out this fall called Jexi. Jexi. What is that? How do you spell that? J-E-X-I. And it's like Siri if Siri turned on you and tried to ruin your life. Okay. Are you sure it's not J-E-11?
I'm positive. I was in the movie. Okay. Yeah. Okay, great. So Rose Byrne plays the voice of the phone, and you absolutely can't tell it's Rose Byrne. You can't. Why not? They changed her voice to like the robot Siri sounding voice. Oh, okay. So they pitched it up or something. So it could have been anyone. I'm like, we're paying her a lot of money. Yeah.
To not know it's her. But good for her. Those are the gigs I'm trying to get. So, Jexy out in theaters this fall? This fall. Do you know the date? I don't. I think I heard something about early October. If it's late October, that's a pretty scary time. That's a danger zone. You know what I mean? It's too scary. Yeah, too scary out there. Yeah, I don't like to go. It's not as scary as the stuff that comes out later in the month. Okay, that's great. Why? Because of Halloween? Don't even say that. Oh, man.
God, Randy. Simmer down, Randy. Geez. Why? Because of people dressing up? Randy! For God's sake. I mean, you're going to make the rest of us piss ourselves. Yeah, I'd like to. You'd like to? Yeah. God, you're trying to punk us. Boo! Ah! Here comes the bottle. Sorry, I can't help myself. Oh, there it goes. Bean Dip, what do you want to plug here? I'll just say some stuff for my friend.
Okay, who's your friend? My friend's name, Edie. Oh, wait, Edie? She was in Edie Patterson? She was in here earlier. That bitch was? She was here. Oh, man, I wish I could have had a fight with her. You don't get along with Edie? I get along with her great, but she needs to be shown who's physically stronger. That makes sense. Who is that?
That's me, bitch. Oh, okay. Edie is always flexing on people. She's always trying to flex on people, trying to say, like, who's stronger, who's stronger? I thought maybe today would be the day to show her. But I'll still tell you some stuff she's doing. Oh, I hope you think you're good because I'm about to tell you some stuff you're doing.
I don't know. She's on lots of jam songs, Judy jam songs, and some movies coming out. Between Two Flames movie. Oh, yeah, I directed that movie. Yeah, she's in that. Yeah, she told me. Did she have a good time? Did she have a good time? I don't know. She didn't tell me. I'm assuming from her social media she did. Hmm.
But we do find this movie. It's a movie called Troop Zero and a thing called Knives Out. Troop Zero? Troop Zero, like Girl Scouts, bitch. Troop Zero. Are you sure it's not Troop O? It might be Troop O. I have not discussed it with her.
And Knives Out for Thanksgiving. Knives Out, yeah, which is the Rian Johnson film, right? Uh-huh. Wow, she's in that. She's in that. Got a lot going on. Well, let's not get too excited. Yeah. No, I mean, you have more going on, definitely. With the CIB truck. Plug the truck. Okay, CIB truck, come on out. We're at downtown Los Angeles. Come on out. You can have, even your baby will like it, only $4 for a cucumber. And if you want to buy another $17, $17.
17 with a bun? I mean, you're the name of the truck is cucumber in a bun in bun. Yeah, I guess it would be CIA in bun. Yeah, but it's L.A. So you guys are also carb conscious that like the bun probably costs more. And it's like, thank you, Randy. Weird delicacy. I know that I want to go pay four dollars for just a soft cucumber by itself. It's hot. It's hot.
It's hot. It's soft. It's boom boiled. You've had it? Yeah. You're a big fan. Yeah. Bean dip, like hand fed it to me. Really? How much did that cost? Which way?
Dude. He likes his with bean chili on it. Wow. She do it lengthwise? Yeah. No, no. Sidewise, like corn on the cob. That's what he said. Goddamn, dude. That is what he said. That's what he said. Yeah, that's what I said. Randy, what do you have to plug? I'd like to plug Righteous Gemstones because my boy Tim Bals plays BJ in it. Is he in your crew? Yeah. He was in here earlier, too. Yeah, he was in here. That's funny. No, he's not in my crew. Oh, he's not. Carissa fucked him first. No way. Okay.
That's too bad. I get it. That guy's a stud. And then I guess I'll plug my draining confidence after you guys took a shit on me. Sorry, bro. Randy. I don't know. I mean, I hate to be, you know, in, you know.
Just high up on top of these skyscrapers that you're washing the windows of. But Adam and I just, you know, it's been a while since we've been out there rolling up our sleeves and putting our noses to the grindstone like you, you know? All right. Well, hit me up if you want a reminder every once in a while. And what are you going to do if I hit you up? I'll take you through my day. That's what you're on the show for. Right. So take us through your day. Yeah. Wake up.
Eat a bowl of cereal. Smoke a bowl of cereal. JK. Go to work. Wash a ton of windows. Watch my... You're not watching a ton of windows. You're watching at most maybe like 10 down on the ground floor. Well, he also does the insides of the entire building. Oh, okay. All right. I apologize. So at least like 20. Watch my coworkers do a bunch of blow. Talk to them for a while because they're real chatty after that. Eat lunch. Well, we're only up to lunch. Yeah. Yeah.
Then I usually take the afternoon off because they're just chatting their brains off. Right. And then meet up with Carissa, try to avoid whatever scandal she's thrown into my life. Right. And, you know, I don't know, usually pass out, go to sleep, catch up on my shows. What are some of your favorite shows? First season of American Vandal because of the dicks. Hilarious. Yeah, good stuff. Pen15, Unillusioned to Dicks. Okay. You ever see that dick scene in Game Over Man? Yeah. Yeah.
Cool. Just that scene? Well, it's like seven minutes long. That was part of our date. He said, look, we got to hit all seven of these slides in this hour and a half, but we do have seven minutes for you to watch this on my phone. That makes sense. A lot of people do that. Yeah, definitely. Pass forward through the other stuff. Get to the meat of the scene.
All right. Well, thank you, Randy. Is that all you have to plug? There's also bajillion dollar properties with Tim Baltz. Yeah, that's true. So people can get on Pluto TV now. Yep. All four seasons. The fourth season is finally coming out. Yeah, I think it's out at this point. Oh, it is? Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's right because we're in the Augie Doggies. Yeah, we're in Augie Doggies. So, yeah, it's definitely out. So people should check that out. The final episode where Tim's character gets married is a great – It's probably a big old spoiler right there. But people have probably already seen it. They've probably already seen it.
And if they haven't, then maybe this lures them into, you know, the promise of Tim getting married. Yeah. And the people will be like, what's marriage? I got to find out. I want to plug. Hey, look, starting next week, the Comedy Bang Bang Tour, Paul F. Tompkins, Lauren Lapkus and myself are going on tour. Good crew. Starting next week, we have Boston on Wednesday, the 21st.
And Providence, Rhode Island on the 22nd and the 23rd, we have New Haven, Connecticut. And actually, Ego Wodum from SNL, she's going to be with us on all three of those dates. So tickets are available for that. And then we're out in Kansas City on September 5th.
St. Paul, Minnesota on September 6th and 7th and Chicago on September 8th. And then in November 11th, we're in Philadelphia and November 12th in Washington, D.C. And then I also want to plug the aforementioned Between Two Ferns movie, which I directed is coming out in just about a month, September 20. So please watch that when it comes out. All right, let's close up the old plug bag. Close your eyes and open your bag. Close.
That's a great song. Yeah.
Ah, it is a great song. That is, of course, the closing of the Plug Bag remix with Alan Tudyk remix. Guys, I want to thank you so much for being here. First of all, Adam, always great to see you. It's been a number of years. And by the way, great job on the Comedy Bang Bang TV show those many years ago. That was fun. Such a funny episode. You play the little ladder guy.
I forget your character's name, but... And, of course, why would you remember? No, my character, I believe I was either a Chad or a Travis. I think it was Chad, actually. Yeah.
People look at me and I scream Chad to people. And Bean Dip, so great to see you. So great to see you, baby. It's been too long. I want you to come back more often if you could. Great. I'll come back anytime you want. I'll just gather up microphones and get out of here. Yeah, you've got to make four trips. So how long is that going to take you today, do you think? Until about six.
Took about 6? What? Till about 6. Till about 6. Oh, okay. So about 6 p.m. is when you're off the clock? 6 p.m., I'm off the clock. Gotta get to partying. Get to partying. So you party from 6 p.m. till what? Till about 3 a.m. 3 a.m.? That's too much. That's nine hours of partying. Get up at 6 a.m. What? Start the day, get to the W, handle shit, get out to the truck. So you only, you're, you're...
On three hours sleep every single day? If I get more, I'm useless. Really?
Randy, I want to thank you. I apologize for any offense that Adam and I – We didn't mean it. We didn't mean anything by it. I mean we're up there in our gilded cages and, you know, we don't know. We're not used to talking to regular people. Yeah. I mean maybe our drivers are like the closest we get to, you know, talking to – Sometimes they're paid very well. They're paid very well too. Very well. So, yeah, you know. Well, I'd love to come back next time you feel like taking a shit on the 99%.
I definitely anytime. That's probably going to be next week. So. All right, cool. So a little further into the Augie doggies. I'll be back. All right. Thanks, everyone. We'll see you next time. Thanks. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.