This episode of Comedy Bang Bang is brought to you by Progressive, where drivers who save by switching save nearly $750 on average. Plus, auto customers qualify for an average of seven discounts. Quote now at Progressive.com to see if you could save. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates national average 12-month savings of $744 by new customers surveyed who saved with Progressive.
Between June 2022 and May 2023, potential savings will vary. Discounts not available in all states and situations.
This podcast, Comedy Bang Bang, is brought to you by Squarespace, our old friends, and Spring. Man, it truly has sprung. No one can argue that. And what do we know about spring? Spring is a time of fresh starts. That's right. You thought January was good for starting fresh? Spring's gotcha beat. Spring's gotcha beat.
springs about rebirth, and that could mean starting a new venture or switching things up on your website. Well, Squarespace is the all-in-one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online. With the new guided design system, Squarespace Blueprint, you can select from curated layout and styling options to create a personalized website optimized for every device, integrated, optimized, optimizeded, optimizeded.
SEO tools. Allow your site to show up more often and grow the way you want. Plus, make checkout easy for customers with easy-to-use payment tools, except credit cards, PayPal, Apple Pay, and in certain countries, give customers the chance to buy now and pay later with Afterpay and ClearPay. Selling content on your website?
Well, add a paywall to sell memberships or courses or sell downloadable files. Head to squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to launch. And I know you're going to be go to squarespace.com slash bang bang to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.
Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Comedy Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Comedy Bang Comedy Bang Comedy Bang Comedy bang Comedy bang Comedy bang Comedy bang Comedy bang Comedy bang Comedy bang comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy the
Eat my shorts? No thanks, I'm still working on my juncos. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Thank you to Deputy Trojan for that catchphrase submission. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang indeed. First episode of our 15th year...
Or last week was. I'm not quite sure. How would, let's see. Yeah, I mean, technically it was on the actual anniversary, so that would have been the first episode. Okay, second episode of our 15th year. Very special episode. Coming up a little later, we have a, we don't have entrepreneurs on this show any longer. We have a small business owner will be here. We also have a stand-up comedian will be here.
But before we get to them, by the way, my name is Scott Aukerman. And before we get to those two, we have a stand-up comedian in his own right here. He's a stand-up comedian. He is a podcast host. He is an actor, comedic actor. Mm-hmm.
No drama. No drama. No drama, baby. No drama when it comes to you. I don't got no time for no drama. That's right. He is a cast member of the hit smash show Cobra Kai, which is coming to an end with its sixth season, I believe. Sixth season, yeah. And he is now also, in addition to being a multi-hyphenate, entertainment-based multi-hyphenate, though. Let me put on my ascots.
Tell them. I thought you were saying my ass, Scott. Let me put on my ass. You are also an author. Sounds so good. An author with a book out right now in stores called Undercooked. Please welcome back to the show, Dan Aduit. Hello, Dan. Hello, Scott.
You are a best-selling author. Yes. I'm not a best-selling author, and I'm starting to think that you're just trolling me, and that's why you invited me on the show right now. Yeah, now, okay, for those of you who don't know what Dan is talking about, there's this, how do I describe it, the old gray lady thing.
The New York Times puts out a list every week of- Fake news. Fake news. Of not the best books. Fake news books. Fake news books. Not the best books, but the best selling books. Books that have sold the most, as we say in the book biz, copies or cops. Sometimes we call them in the book biz.
And the Comedy Bang Bang book, thanks to everyone who pre-ordered and who came to our events and bought the book there and bought it the week it came out, is number four on the New York Times bestseller list. An incredible achievement for an author. And Dan, where was yours?
Okay, first of all, I just want to say what you're leaving out is the books that you are surrounded by. Okay, so one is Mein Kampf, which is the... Yes, it's on the list. But underneath ours, it's number five. It is number five. It is number five. And number three is Mao's Little Red Book. Little Red Book, yeah. We're right in between those two. Yet you could not even make a list...
that those books are on well is that true i don't i don't want to be in that company i don't want to be in that oreo cookie that you your your your book it came out a couple of weeks ago it is an it is an amazon bestseller that's great yeah um that's something that's something it's a big company yeah definitely they move a lot of books what's it uh because i know it has subtitles it's called undercooked say say the complete title for me
How I Let Food Become My Life Navigator and How Maybe That's a Dumb Way to Live. Okay. So that's a long title. It is long. It is. I'm, I did the, I did the Charles Dickens deal. I'm getting paid by the word. I was just filling it up.
I didn't know that was such a big part of his deal. That was his deal. Getting paid by the word. I knew like Christmas Carol, Oliver Twist, all that kind of stuff. But a big part of his deal was getting paid by the word, really. Yeah, yeah. He called it a PBTW. Oh, okay. I heard of a TB&J, but a PBTW. He wanted a PBTW deal. There were big deals back then. A PBTWD.
PBTWD. It was a big thing. Can we stop saying this? This is very hard for someone with my abilities. But just describe what the book is now. Oh, look, let me put you into context for some of our listeners who haven't heard you on the show for a few years. You were on back in, I would say, 2016, 2017 or so, somewhere around then. And you were a cast member of a show that we produced called
comedy bang bang produced called bajillion dollar properties uh which uh hold for applause yes i'm not hearing we still be holding we're the only people in the room though um but uh my my wife uh my uh former ex-girlfriend uh koolafi lysak created the show you were a cast member on it in fact as i think it's velisac by the way i don't think it's velisac i don't know yeah i think you should know that and i think you're wrong
I'll check with her at some point during our marriage. This is who you people are turning into a best-selling author, just so you know. Doesn't even know his wife's name. You were a cast member, and as I recall, you were the first cast member that we cast. We saw all the auditions, and we said, well, whoever we cast, we've got to have Dan.
You were the person that was like a lock from the beginning. Diversity hire. You got to get the diversity out of the way first. You know what's funny? That's what you told me. I don't see color. You said that to me though. It was a surprise to me when you picked your character name. I was like, what? Because what was your character's name? It was Amir. Amir. That's right. Oh, I see it now, Dan, is what I said to you. But no, you gave a great audition. You were very funny on the show. We did four seasons of that show.
and that was the last time you were on. And then you got onto Cobra Kai where you play some guy at the- - The car dealership. - Car dealership. - Yes, Anoush. - Anoush. - Anoush. One day I'm gonna be like a John. - Well, you picked your name, Amir, by the way. You could have picked John. - I could have, but I thought that, and by the way, should we tell the story of how you originally picked someone, a different name, and we shot for three days?
Yes, I did. I initially was going to be Amir Gabay was the last name who was named after my great uncle and then my cousin. And you said like, I've talked to my great uncle. I'm going to do this as a tribute to him. He's cool with it. We shot for three days with everyone saying that name over and over again. And then at the end of three days, you came to us and said, my uncle is no longer cool with it. I need to change my name. Yeah.
We needed to change everything in post CGI, all the doors. All the lips. Everyone's lips had to be animated suddenly. But we can laugh about it now because that show is a runaway train of a success. But so you are you're mainly a comedian. Yes. But and you're a great stand up as well. Thank you. But now you've written a book. Describe for me. Why does a comedian write a book? What is going on here?
I got to tell you the truth. I never thought I was going to write a book. I had no interest in writing a book. Books are boring and long. Yeah. Who wants to read them, let alone write them?
That's the thing. For every book that's out there, some poor asshole wrote it. Like you think you're having a bad time. Yeah. Like all the kids in school out there, it's like you're reading these fucking like trigonometry books and stuff. And it's like, think about the slub who had to sit there and jot everything down. Yeah. It's a, it's a fucking sucks. It sucks. And anyone who's like, I love writing books is lying or has a ghostwriter. If you're actually writing a book, it sucks.
But how did you do it? How did you do it? Did you, uh,
Did you like talk into a tape recorder and then just have someone transcribe it or did you actually sit down and write? No, I sat down and did it. I mean, just it was basically I had done this podcast called Meat Eater Podcast. It's the number one hunting podcast in the country. Hunting podcast. Yes. You had done it meaning you were a guest on it? I was a guest on it. You were a guest on a podcast called Meat Eater. Meat Eater. Okay.
Why are you saying it like that? Meat eater. Meat eater. Meat eater. No, no, no. Meat eater. Meat eater. Meat eater. M-I-D-E-D. M-I-D-E-D. What? M-I-D-E-D-E-R. Meat eater. Meat eater. Okay, got it. It's the new Tyler Perry show. Meat eater. Meat eater. Meat eater's cousin, Meat eater, comes on. Okay.
And on it, I told stories about my hunting exploits. What are you hunting? I don't know anything about these. I know I give off a gatherer vibe, Scott. But I am a hunter. And I told some stories on it. And my manager heard it and she was like, these stories are nuts. You should try to turn it into a movie. How did you get your manager to listen to one of your podcasts? Because I...
I have been doing the show for now. We're in our 15th year. I don't believe my manager has heard one single sentence. I don't know. I don't know why she listened to it. I didn't even tell her to listen to it. Weird. Yeah, it's weird. Yeah. That's kind of sus, honestly. Yeah. I would maybe look for new management. What are you, listening to what I'm saying on podcast? Get the fuck out of here. Fuck out of here.
Trying too hard. Anyway, so I tried to turn it into a movie. Didn't work. The outline sucked. And she was like, just. I love that you admit that. Yeah. Most people are like, I tried to turn it into a movie for several years. No one was biting. The market was bad. No, the outline sucked. No. There was absolutely no writer's guilt strike going on.
The employment was gainful. They were buying anything. They were buying everything and anything. And so then she was like, just write what, just do some free writing about your relationship to food. Because I always have been an enormous foodie. I love food. I'm obsessed with food. You have a podcast, Green Eggs and Dan, where you, and I've been on it, where you go into food.
celebrities or my refrigerator and you open it up and you comment on what's inside. Yes. And you talk about the person's relationship to why they bought this kind of stuff. Exactly. We kind of roast the fridge a little bit. Yeah. You know, hijinks. And fridges are cold and you're roasting so everything is just lukewarm. Yes. It's a very lukewarm podcast. That's what Vulture called it. Yeah, but it's I always, you know, I'm just
food all across the board has been a you love going you're always the guy who if we ever travel to a place we say Dan where should we go yeah and then you give us a long list of restaurants that we need to hit up and we're able maybe to go to one yes yes but we we thank you for that one
I do a lot of research. A lot of work goes into that and people don't realize that. But yeah, I think you guys were... Should we give reviews? Like when we come back from the place, should we be like, Dan, this is what we went to. This, this, this, this, and this. Would you appreciate that? Or the minute you send the list, you're like mentally out? I would love nothing more than to get a review of a review and or a picture of yourself there. Because otherwise, I'm just your fucking concierge. Got it.
Yeah. Okay. We've always had that sort of relationship. Okay. So I promise you next time we do that, we'll give pictures. That one time you texted me to order you an Uber was very weird. Yeah. That was strange. You were like, we're at this corner. I was like, your phone has a GPS. We were in a totally different state as well. But you did it.
I was on a plane. I had to get the Wi-Fi on the plane to order you an Uber for $25 Wi-Fi. The go-go in-flight? What the hell is going on? How can this be so expensive?
I don't know. Like for a four hour flight, $25? What is happening here, Dan? Oh, but here's the crazy thing. If you get, if you order the Wi-Fi before the plane takes off, $19. If the wheels are up, $30. Above 30,000 feet? Really? Price gouging.
At some point, and you know they have the technology, at some point, like, all Wi-Fi on planes should be free. Yeah. When is this happening? I think Delta has actually started for its SkyMile members. Thank God, Delta. Yes. Thank God. And then they're like, oh, if you're a frequent flyer, you can pay us $800 and you can get on the Wi- Shut the fuck up. Get the fuck out of here. Yeah.
Anyway, so I wrote a couple of what became chapters of this book. They pitched it to a publisher. Publisher loved them. And they were all very like their standalone essays that are very funny, but also have heart. But they're all about food. I've been compared. I've been called the David Sedaris of food by Danadute.
And so I'm kind of trying to buy yourself. Wait, you buy yourself? Yes. Huh? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I can see that. So I'm trying to make that stick. Hey, I like it. And how many chaps?
Chapters, we say chaps in the biz. 11 chaps. 11 chaps. 11 chaps. How many chaps you got? We don't really do chaps. We did pages. That was my problem. That's why I'm not on the best side of life. How many pages you got? Actually, it's funny because as someone who never has written a book and doesn't know how that works, I started writing this book.
And after about eight months, I was like, yeah, I got it. I think that's a book. This is unlocked. I think that's a book. I think I'm done. And I was like, how do I, I don't know how I know I'm done or not. Right. How do you convert this into like, is it word count? How do they? Well, that's the thing I asked my agent. I was like, how do I know when this is done? I think it feels like a book. And she's like, well, you're contractually obligated to 60,000 words. I was like, oh,
I didn't know that. Let me check. Let me tell you, the agents do not pass on a lot of info. I was very surprised by certain things that popped up three years after the deal. Yeah. So I added them up.
And by the way, I had one month to get the whole manuscript in, one month left. And I had 35,000 words. Oh, no. I mean, it's a little more than half, so that's at least not a total morale buster. It was pretty busting. So out of that, how many chaps did you have there?
I think I probably had like seven chaps. Seven chaps is too short for a book. Yeah. I don't know why you thought seven chaps would be good. The thing is you're writing it on a computer. You said 11 and I'm like, is that enough? But because that's where it ended up to be. The acknowledgements count as a chapter and that was really long. It's daunting. I know it's daunting to, yeah, because you've never done it before. Now in retrospect, when you look at it, do you go like, oh, of course it was too short. Yeah.
100% it was too short. Yes. But it was. Here's the thing. I it wasn't that I thought I was like, I just I need to write a little bit more than and then I'll have a book. I didn't know I need to write the same amount in a month and I'm not and then I'll have a book. Wow. How did you do it? Did you just like are there four chaps that are just total bullshit that are just about like whatever is in the room with you like lamp?
picture yeah like kaiser sozade the rest of the book whatever i saw around me um and yeah no it's it was half of it was chat gtp'd honestly these days it's very hot right now you could probably get away with it i was one of the last free chat gtp books that came out
That's amazing. You were one of the last to be turned in. Incredible. So give us an example of what some of these chaps are about. What are some of these stories that you tell? So one is about when I interned at a Michelin-starred restaurant in New York City. One is about returning a dish at the number one restaurant in the world the day that it became the number one restaurant in the world. Wow. True story.
One is about are some of these not true. Why do you say true story? The half of them, half of them are not true. Thirty five thousand words are true. Twenty five. Totally false. Twenty five. Twenty five percent of the book is just the catcher in the rye that I just copied and pasted. It's like, huh? Bad idea. Weird pivot.
Um, so, so this is all just like funny stories that have happened to you all about food. Yeah. Well, this is, it sounds dynamite. Would it surprise you to learn? I haven't read it yet. What is that? What does it surprise you to learn? I have not read this. Oh, I thought you said, what is the price again? I haven't read it. What is the price again? I have not read it. $29. Actually, Amazon's doing a deal right now. Really? Yeah. If you want to pad Jeff Bezos's pockets. I mean, it's a, it sounds like quite a deal at twice the price.
It's a very fun book, though. People, the main review I'm getting is I've never laughed so hard and cried so hard at a book, which is a fun little emotional melange. Yeah, it's like an emotional Batman the ride there. And it sounds really good. I believe Kulop ordered it. It's at the house somewhere. I got to I got to find out where it is. No, I gave you one for free. You did? So that you would read it.
Where? I literally sent it to your home. Oh, okay. Yeah. Okay. So I'm mistaken. She didn't buy it. You didn't address it to me. That's not true. It was to cool up in Scott. Okay. Interesting. Well, she opens all the mail. Well, no. I have plausible deniability on all of this. But I'll get to it. Wait, no. I sent it FedEx and I said it needs Scott Aukerman's signature. Oh, shit. Okay.
No, I'll get to it because it's, you know, Dan, I'm a big fan and, you know, it sounds like a dynamite book. Undercooked is what it's called. It's out there. If you buy the Comedy Bang Bang book out there, it'll probably pop up underneath of like You Also May Like.
And vice versa, I would imagine. So we're both authors. This is incredible. We are both auteurs, I would say. Yeah. Who knew? The two of us. I know. You know? Seriously. Do you talk about how Ryan and I both puked from Shrimp Friday on the first week of the bajillion set? That would have helped me when I found out I had only written 35,000 words. And the very next Shrimp Friday, we saw each other in line at the...
in the in line for the food and we both had shrimp on our plates and we both looked at each other shrugged like what are you gonna do we're back again um all right dana dude is with us you can stick around can't you i can and also by the way if you like these uh dulcet tones you're listening to there's an audiobook oh that i narrated wow i should have got you to to do the comedy bang bang book but we decided not to do one but uh why did you not do one uh
If you thought this book was hard to do, trying to do an audiobook version of it would have been even harder. So we passed on that, but that sounds really good. But I'm so proud of you. Honestly, I saw that and I don't retweet a lot.
I'm not a big retweeter. I hit that. I hit those two arrows right away. Wow. Before you even knew what you were doing. No, I didn't even know. I just, my instinctually, instinctually, I retweeted. I didn't even, didn't even put a comment. Didn't, you know, cause sometimes you do a comment to make it about you. Like, look at what my friends are doing. I have friends who are famous and doing stuff. I did. I just retweeted it with nothing. I wanted nothing from it. That means a lot. That really does. Thank you so much. Of course.
It wasn't on my main page.
Oh, this is on your burn. I started a new account just to retweet it. Just to give positive reviews to your own book. Yeah. Well, Undercooked is the book. Danadude is here. He can stick around with us. We're going to take a break. When we come back, we have a small business owner. We also have a stand-up. And you're a stand-up, so maybe you have a lot you can talk about. I wonder if I know him. Yeah, this will be incredible. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang right after this.
You know what? No matter where you are or who you are or when you are or how you are, all of the reporters' questions, you can feel like you're living the coastal California lifestyle with Viore Performance Apparel. Everything that Viore makes is designed to work out in. But you know what? It doesn't.
look or feel like it. That means their clothes are so comfortable, you're gonna wanna wear them all the time. And you can feel good about it too, because Viore offsets 100%
of their carbon footprint. You don't want to miss out on Viore's signature Dream Knit material that will surround yourself with softness. I love Viore. I got some shorts there. They're a fresh take on athleisure. They've become a real staple in my wardrobe. They're made from premium performance stretch fabrics designed to keep you moving with less bulk around your ankles, equal parts style and comfort.
Viore is an investment in your happiness. For our listeners, they're offering 20% off your first purchase. Get yourself some of the most comfortable and versatile clothing on the planet at viore.com slash bangbang. That is V-U-O-R-I dot com slash bangbang. Not only are you going to receive 20% off your first purchase, but you will enjoy free shipping on any U.S. orders over $75 and
And free returns. Thanks, Fiore. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. So what are your non-negotiables during a day? Me?
I eat food. Yeah, I admit it. I don't go a day without eating some food. I usually throw a little water in there as well, drink that stuff. But, you know, maybe you never skip leg day. You know, there's stuff that's important to us. Well, you probably shouldn't skip therapy day either. When your schedule's packed...
You have kids' activities, big work projects. You know, it's easy to let those priorities slip. Even when we know what makes us happy, it's still hard to make the time to actually do that stuff, right? But when you feel like you have no time for yourself, non-negotiables like therapy are more important than ever.
So if you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out this brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist, and you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Never skip therapy day with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash bangbang today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash bangbang.
High Five Casino lets you play your favorite slot and table games with the chance to redeem for real cash prizes. High Five Casino has a giant selection of over 1,200 games. It's always free to play, and free coins are given out every four hours. Ready to have your own High Five moment? Visit HighFiveCasino.com. That's High, the number five, Casino.com. No purchase necessary. Voidware prohibited by law must be 20.
51 years or older. Terms and conditions apply. Comedy Bang Bang, we're back. Dan Aduge is here, author of Undercooked, In Stores Now, as well as online, as well as the audiobook, which you can listen to Dan...
uh recite and uh in this voice in that do you really do that voice every single word you can't um we need to get to our next guest uh she's a small business owner we no longer have entrepreneurs on the show so um very good to see we have a small business owner i don't know what business that information is not in front of me but uh please welcome to the show for the
We bought it. Sorry, what? We bought it. We did it. We bought it. We've been talking about it for everyone. We did it. What? Bought? We bought an oil rig.
We did it. Who? You, you, you did? Me and my husband and of course my two kids, Emery and O'Connell. We decided we are, we're going all in and we bought an oil rig. We bought an oil rig. Oh, congratulations. That's amazing. Thank you so much. We did do it two years ago. So we are an operational business now, but I was just really excited to sort of share that with you. And I wanted to start hard. Yeah, it sounded like something that you closed the deal on just an hour ago, but no, this was two years ago. Two years ago, yeah. Wow. Okay. Congratulations. An oil rig. That doesn't seem like a small business.
Oh, well, there's big oil and then there's small oil. And so that's sort of where we fit in. We were flying from Walt Disney World. We were doing our family vacation in Walt Disney World during the pandemic. And we were on the plane and we looked down and we were over the Gulf of Mexico flying back to Los Angeles. And what do we see? But all these little oil rigs all over the place. And I just turn to my husband, Thomas, and I grab his hand and I go, I feel like we should buy one.
And we thought about it and we did it immediately. So you thought about it very briefly, it sounds like. When did you buy it? Did you have the go-go in-flight? Did you buy it on the plane? We did. We have a pass. So, yeah, you know, we do the Disney trip twice a year. So it's worth it for us.
Why go to Disney twice a year? Friendship, community. Oh, okay. Yeah. Do you meet other people there or? Well, community with the characters mostly. You know, we don't have family that speaks to us right now. So we, you know, it's just nice to sort of get in there. Can we put a pin in that for a second? Because you said you're a yearly member of GoGo because you go to Disney twice a year. Yeah. So it becomes worth it, you know? I don't, it's like,
$400 a year. Something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But just the peace of mind? Well, you get the perks. You get the book bag. If you buy the yearly, they give you the book bag. They have a go-go in-flight book bag? Yeah, yeah. So it sort of becomes worth it. I don't think I've ever seen one of those in the wild.
We did it. You did it. So we just did it, you know, and so it's been going pretty well. And are you guys oil positive? Are you making oil? Are you, are you, have you struck? Yeah. I don't, I don't even know how to speak to this. This was a functioning one before you bought it. Oh, sure, sure, sure. Yeah, absolutely. And so our big thing with it was we thought,
How do we bring the oil field to field to table? Right. So we're selling it in mason jars. You know, your typical oil, you're getting it, you know, you're getting all the refined oil and, you know, that's not good for anybody. So we're just selling it mason jar raw. You're buying it and you're just sort of pouring it into your gas tank. Yeah.
OK, I might be ignorant on this on this topic. I know I am. Yeah. Yeah. But I am Iranian. We're an oil people. Right. And I'm pretty sure you have to refine the oil to make it usable. Like, that's the whole thing. Yeah. I don't know that if I just got a jar of unrefined oil and then poured it in my gas tank, I don't know if my car would run. Have you tried?
That's a good point. That is a good point. That's a great point. And here's the fun thing about ours. You never know what's going to come in the jar, right? Sometimes you get a little fish in there. There's a little fish in there and sometimes it's still wiggling around. Uh, and then, and then you get a little snack as well. So that's sort of a thing that we fish. Yeah. And so, um,
Thank you so much for having me on today. My pleasure. Yeah. Being a small business, we're all about owning up to our mistakes, right? Oh, wait. So we're all... So, okay. So we've established everything about the business, but now there are mistakes in the past two years? Oh, yeah. We made an oops. Is this like dominoes or something? Like, we're sorry we have shitty pizza? Well, it's basically...
Sort of. Our product speaks for itself is what I'll say. You know, even the best business has a little oops, makes a little spill every once in a while. Am I right? Oh, there's an oil spill. Well, just a tiny little one. And it's the kind of thing where it is a significantly smaller spill than your big guys, your BP, your Chevron, any of those companies. And I would argue because there is only one of us. Per oil rig, it is the biggest one per oil rig that they've had on record before. Oh, no. Really? But...
smaller than if you were to combine all of the other oil spills for big oil companies. Does that make sense? The biggest oil spill...
But if you were to combine every oil spill that has ever occurred, it's smaller than that. So tiny. Okay. That's not, I mean, that sounds really bad. Well, if it was just the spill, it wouldn't be a problem. We set it on fire. Oops. Our bad. It was an accident, Scott. How did you set an oil spill on fire? When you get a baked Alaska and you set the alcohol on fire, it disappears. Okay. And so we thought, let's go ahead and let's burn off. Okay.
Let's burn off that oil. Let's burn it off. And then instead, fiery waters. Where is this? The Gulf of Mexico. And literally nobody would have even known. Nobody would have even said anything if there weren't all of those news helicopters. Well, yeah, that's the only reason anyone says anything about anything. Well, that's what I'm saying. So really,
at the end of the day... Oh, we're agreeing? Absolutely. You agree with us. You're on our side. Whoa. I want to make sure that I'm separated from being on this side. Dan is just an author. Yeah. He doesn't have a stake in this. Okay, so you should write this down. It's not our fault. Okay? It's not our fault. We're just a tiny little business. We're the smallest, tiniest little business in the entire world and everybody's yelling at us. Do you know what you're doing? Like, if I were just some...
who's like on an airplane and saw an oil rig and decided to buy one, I wouldn't know what to do with it. I mean, how did you, did you get any kind of instructions of what to do? - That is part of our story.
That's part of why you come to us instead of going to the big guy. That's why you come to our stand to get our little jars of oil instead of going to a pump and pulling it off of there and sticking it in your car. We know how. Yes, we've been to gas stations. We know you pull the pump out. What was the question? Did you know how to do this? Does anyone know how to do anything specifically?
got before you try? I mean, yeah, that's a good point. That's it. Sometimes, sometimes, yeah, yeah, maybe we just, we get a little overfilled and there's not enough mason jars, so we just sort of dump it into the water. And yeah, maybe there was a bunch of fish that sort of died, and so then we started deciding, hey, maybe we can sell some fish oil pills off of this, and then a bunch of kids got sick. Okay, yeah, maybe we did that every once in a while, but we're trying our best. Sorry. When life gives you lemons, don't set
1700 square miles of the, of the ocean on fire. I just, I think this is so vastly irresponsible. I mean, this is oil we're talking about. This isn't like, you know, we bought a zoo or something, you know, where I mean, but that's animals. Oh God. Yeah. And that zoo went so poorly for us. You were the people that we bought a zoo is about. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then we did sell the rights to the movie to try and pay off the lawsuits. And I think,
the product that they came up with was pretty lovely actually and so then we thought okay okay well maybe we'll do it again we bought an oil rig how fun a good sequel yeah matt damon and a couple of kids one of them on the shoulders gallivanting around the gulf of mexico i don't recall the kid being on the shoulders and we bought a zoo it's on the poster oh okay i'm not picturing it but and then the last thing that i just sort of wanted to say is you know and then um
Of course, there was the cover up and paying off the government officials. And so we're sorry. It was an accident and we didn't know what we were doing. It's I mean, you using the word cover up. Sounds like you knew that you were covering up the crime. Well, that's what they were referring to it as in sort of the blog post. What did you think it was when you were paying those officials? I thought it was giving a friend credit.
$100,000 to make this go away. That's the very definition of a cover. Yeah, that's a cover. Well, okay, if I was giving it to a stranger, sure. But a friend, it's a favor, it's a handshake, it's a kiss. Hmm, I don't know, Dan. What do you think about this? As you said, you're Iranian. As I said... So this is hitting close to home for you, right? It is. It is, actually. And I'm just... Your dander is getting up here. Yeah, yeah. I'm curious, though. Why...
Are you choosing here for your confession? Why wouldn't you be on a network? Seems like you'd be on at least, you know, WTF. We tried so hard to get on there. And this is the only show that would book you. My producer tried so, so hard to get on WTF. Mark Maron. This is this is bad. This is bad. I don't support you as a guest.
Whoa, me? Wait, that was mean. You don't support me as a guest? I don't support what you're talking about. I don't think you should be. I mean, oil in mason jars? This is the very definition of insanity. No, come on. Hey, hey, it's not. Listen, if it makes you feel better. No, it's not. Oh, okay. If it makes you feel better, Scott, I was an early backer to your book. How do you mean you're an early backer? I was an early backer. I was the one I... Okay, so you know the audio company?
What do you mean? When you just say, do you know the audio company? Do you know audio? Do you know audio? I know audio. Okay. Do you know telephones? I know telephones. Okay. Do you know the person that called you and said you should write a book? Yes, I do know. Yes. So I, they live up the street from me. Sam lives up the street from you? Yeah, and I said, you know, it would be fun doing a book on a podcast. Okay. Hmm.
And then I said, do you know WTF? And they said, yes. And we tried to get them to write it back. Oh, yeah. And they were busy. And so then they came to you. And this was in the Gulf of Mexico? Yeah.
No, this was on the plane. I was texting back and forth with them. Oh, okay. I'm texting with these go-go in-flight deals. You do get your money's worth out of those go-go in-flight deals. Well, that's it. You just, it's, you got to plan for it, right? You got to do all of your big sort of downloading. So you save up all your texts and downloads for when you're on a plane twice a year? Yeah. Just because you bought this go-go in-flight. This is the weirdest part of your whole story. Yeah.
This is what I want to drill down on. Scott, I have two kids. Okay. I'm not above saying when I'm wrong. I'm not above trying to fix my mistakes. And that's what I'm doing here. What do the kids have to do with any of this? Oh, they're the CEO and the CFO of the company. Did they go down for this?
Yeah, they're in juvenile detention right now. It's tough. But that's why we're sort of in the neighborhood here. It's just right up the street. I do live right next to a prison. You know, the price per square foot is a lot lower. It is. The closer you are. It's a terrible area. It's a prison for babies. Terrible area.
Yeah, we're constantly getting like juvenile delinquents escaped. Bad babies. Yeah. This is this is bad. Taylor, you are a bad person. I don't know. I keep saying my name like that. I keep having to look down. I mean, Taylor Stephanie, it's not very distinctive. I mean, it's two first names. First of all, is your your husband's name is what?
Thomas Stephanie. Thomas Stephanie? Tyler and Thomas Stephanie. And was his name Stephanie? How does he feel about having a woman's last name as the last name? Or a woman's first name as the last name? I don't know, Scott. You'd have to ask him. Why isn't he here? Hmm. That's interesting. So you think that my husband should be the one that's sort of confessing our crimes? Sure. I mean, you're both cold. You don't trust me confessing our crimes? Why don't you trust me confessing our crimes, Scott? Maybe the pitch of your voice. Maybe. A little too shrill? Hard to take it seriously? Yeah.
I just feel like nobody... God, you know, when I had this idea to buy the oil rig, my husband, my kids, everybody said that I was an idiot and that I was dumb and that it was a bad idea. But then they went along with it because my dad is Rupert Murdoch. And so it was one of those things where they sort of like just agreed because I've got the money to go behind it. I didn't realize. Okay, yeah. This is a totally different story. You're a Murdoch? Huh? You're a Murdoch? I'm Stephanie. That's my married name. Yeah, she married into...
That's the name Stephanie. But you're Stephanie Nay Murdoch. Well, yeah, I didn't. What is that? How do you pronounce it? Nay or Nay?
Well, how I've spelled it in sort of like my legal is N-E-I-G-H. Oh, okay. Like a horse. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I should be asking, how would a horse pronounce this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you should have and you didn't because they all died in the zoo, unfortunately. You had horses in your zoo? Oh, yeah. Scott, you're skipping over a very vital piece of information and going out to horses in the zoo. I mean, this is astounding to me that you had horses. We're getting so far.
far away from the point, which is I came here to apologize. Wait a minute, did you paint them with stripes to pretend they were zebras? Yeah, Scott, what do you think zebras are?
I'm sorry. Who's the idiot now? You think horses are real? I think horses are real. They're like unicorns and crickets. Unicorns are real and they just saw off the horn? No, they're not real, Scott. I'm saying they're all horses. Okay, so you didn't get zebras and paint them like horses. You got horses and painted them like zebras. Zebras don't exist. This is the biggest lie that zoos have told everybody. Their horses are painted black and white. If you had a zebra and you had to paint it like a horse, would you paint it black or would you paint it white?
I go man. What happened? I did it. And you're sort of running past my my lived experience with this. I'm sorry. It's fine. No, Dan, what would you do? Well, please let me know the semantics. What brand of paint do you buy? I would, first of all, go with the black because the black would cover up the white. Whereas if you're going to go white, you probably see faded black. But white horses are prettier.
But then Black Beauty. Do you want to know the answer? Yes. You take them to a car detailer and they do those, you know how they wrap cars in sort of that plastic and the heat? And that's what you do with the black and white sort of like saran wrap. Doesn't that suffocate the horse though? Oh, it does. Okay. It's tough. Is that part of the issue? That was part of the problem. It was hard getting a zebra sort of into final prototype and onto the field. So.
Strange way to put it. Look, Taylor, Stephanie, you're an interesting person. You're a Murdoch. You're one of Rupert Murdoch's daughters, I'm assuming. My kids are in jail. I don't have Wi-Fi except if I'm 30,000 feet in the air. It's really tough. You do have a bad life and I have some empathy for that, but I don't think what you did is a good thing. Okay, I'll move in. Okay, I'll move in, Scott. I don't think, look, first of all, your husband, what is his name again? Thomas. Thomas Stephanie? Yes.
Thomas Stephanie named Murdoch. He also took my love. He took the Murdoch name and you did a name swap? We're both, no, we're both Stephanie named Murdoch. We both took it. We both decided that we wanted our kids to have the same last name as us. So we both took name Murdoch. I don't know. I don't know. Well, look, Taylor, we have to take a break. Thank God. I'm exhausted. Which one's my romance?
No, you're not staying here. I hope you will stay for the next segment, but you're not staying here tonight, okay? I guess we'll talk about it later. I mean, we will talk about it when I call the police and kick you out of this place. Oh, which police officer? Which precinct are you going to? I don't know. I've never called the police. Really? Yeah. Ever? Not even for fun? No. Hey, Cap. Ah.
Dang, you should try calling the police on sort of like somebody. It's really fun. Okay. It sounds like you're somebody who just, some Karen who calls the police on people. I'm not Karen. I'm Taylor. All right, Taylor. Look, Taylor, can you stick around though for one more segment? Yes, Scott. We're going to take a break. When we come back, we'll have more Danadute. Undercooked is the book. We'll have more Taylor Stephanie and we have a standup comedian after this. This is very exciting. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this.
For 25 years, nothing has tasted better after a hard day's work than a Mike's Hard Lemonade. It's because since day one, Mike's has been making lemonade the hard way. We use three kinds of lemons, all hand-picked from family farms, then blended to perfection in cold press to create the epic hard lemonade you know and love. Mike's Hard Lemonade. Hard days deserve a hard lemonade.
Mike's is hard. So is prison. Don't drive drunk. Premium all beverage with flavors. All registered trademarks used under license by Mike's Hard Lemonade Company, Chicago, Illinois.
Are you catching the big game or making big mods, going on that first date or installing that first brake kit, binging that new show or watching install videos? Well, when you're a real car lover, the choice is obvious. eBay Motors has you covered with over 122 million parts to fit your number one ride or die. Brake kits, turbochargers,
LED headlights, exhaust kits, bumpers, roof racks, and engines. Whether you're into speed, power, or style, eBay Motors has all the parts you need for the ride you love. Plus, at these prices, you're burning rubber, not cash. And with eBay Guaranteed Fit, your part is guaranteed to fit your ride every time or your money back. Keep your ride or die alive at ebaymotors.com. Eligible items only. Exclusions apply.
Seems unfair that I took three years of a foreign language and I know approximately three words. That's one word a year. That's not a good ratio. It's tough. It's tough to do. Well, you know what is not so tough?
Rosetta Stone. Rosetta Stone is the most trusted language learning program. It's available on desktop or can be used as an app on your phone or tablet. Trusted experts for 30 years with millions of users and 25 languages offered. Rosetta Stone immerses you in many ways with its intuitive process. You can pick up any language naturally, first with words, then phrases, then sentences.
Rosetta Stone, it's very easy to use. I started learning Italian with it. I have a friend who also, he's so far advanced in Italian because he started earlier than me. It's so much fun to do and it's fun to feel like you can understand and speak in another language. Don't put off learning it. There's no better time than right now to get started. For a very limited time,
Comedy Bang Bang listeners can get Rosetta Stone's lifetime membership for 50% off. Visit rosettastone.com slash comedy. That's rosettastone.com slash comedy. Comedy Bang Bang, we're back. Dan Adudas here, author of Undercooked and Cobra Kai is the final season coming up. And when's that come out, Dan?
I honestly think all of my accomplishments and my book promotion has been, you know, upstaged by a confession of lighting the Gulf of Mexico on fire. I don't know why this is the wrong show. I just didn't light the Gulf of Mexico on fire. I lit a small patch of the Gulf of Mexico on fire. How small?
I mean, a couple hundred square miles. Compared to the Gulf of Mexico, it's small. It's small. It's a patch. I was just on the splendid table on NPR. You were? Yeah. How did you get on that show? They wouldn't even have me. The other guests were like someone who makes artisanal jellies.
Not a freaking water arsonist. Well, I tried getting on that podcast too and they wouldn't have me if that makes you feel better. This is the only show that would have you? This is a bad show. I've tried everywhere. I don't know what we're doing. Where are our standards? Well, at least we have a stand-up comedy. A stand-up comedy performer coming on. A stand-up comic, we call them. Yes.
I didn't misspeak. We have a stand-up comic here, and this is exciting because we need a little levity, I think, in times like these. There's a writer's strike hitting our industry, and they're, you know, with everything going on in Ukraine as well. I mean, that's your fault. But...
Let's please welcome him to the show. Please welcome Weed Foxworthy. If you know Jerry Garcia's birthday, but not your own, you might be a pothead. All right. Hey, Weed Foxworthy. Hey, if you're packing a bowl for a trip and it has nothing to do with luggage, you might be a pothead. If your pronouns are he high, you
You might be a pothead. Why are you patting your upper lip? Thank you. You're patting your mustache. Yeah, I just want to make sure it stays on. What does that mean? I have a fear every night when I go to sleep, I dream that my mustache falls off. So during the day, I make sure I really pat it on there. Constantly patting it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Also, I might be allergic to it. It feels on my skin perhaps like maybe I am.
Welcome, Weed Fox. Those are three great, great jokes. Thank you for having me. I've got to tell you, I've been listening to the show. There is a hack in the comedy scene. Perhaps Dan knows him as well. Weed Seinfeld. This guy, he has one joke, tells one joke. Oh, yeah, Weed Seinfeld. We had him on the show first in Minnesota, and then he came on the actual show. He has one joke that sits down. Terrible, doesn't have any material. Meanwhile, I've been touring him. I pressed him on, like, what other jokes do you have? And he had nothing. Nothing? No, he doesn't.
He just goes on the name. And where there's a whole bunch of us, Dan, you probably know all these comedians who are family members of other famous comedians trying to make money off their likeness. Right. Mama Papa, Tom Papa's mama. Oh, I didn't realize she was a comedian out there trying to make money. She does stuff. She does stuff. She's great. The Scalarhos. These are the
Scalar Bros sisters. They call themselves the Scalar Bros. Yeah, it's very powerful. It's like positive. By the way, their professional name is the Scalar Brothers. So I didn't immediately realize it was me. Tell their sisters that. If I ever meet them, I will. Okay, yeah, great. Rude Gaffigan is another one. Rude Gaffigan? Who's Rude Gaffigan? Jim Gaffigan's brother. He does a lot of rude stuff about like fucking hot pockets. Stuff like that.
It doesn't even rhyme with Jim, but okay. Well, you know, at some point... By the way, your mustache looks like it is falling. It is like a dream. The dream is happening. Okay, look. Here's the... All right. Truthfully. All right. You just took your mustache off and you're... You do have a smaller mustache. You have a... Yeah. Yeah.
Much smaller. Like a Hitler almost. Or a Charlie Chaplin. I don't mean to insult you. Thank you. No insult taken. Let me look a little bit higher than that mustache up to your eyes and take in the rest of your face. I'm gasping again. Yeah. Yes, it's true. I'm not actually Jeff Foxworthy's brother who does weed comedy. I'm his stepbrother.
I'm his. Married by law. This accent's fake. The mustache is fake. Drop the accent then if you... Sorry. Okay. It can be hard. I know when you get in there. All right. This is what I really sound like. It sounds kind of similar. This is me being like, if you own two Bob Marley t-shirts and no Bob Marley albums, you might be a pothead.
That would be a joke. Pretty good. Right. And then let me drop into, this is how I really sound. You're dropping into how you really sound? Exactly the same. Well, you know, I've been on the road so much. Dan, we both know. We're out on the road. It's hard. Wait a minute. So hold on. You had a fake mustache. Yeah. And you were pretending to be Weed Foxworthy, Jeff Foxworthy's brother who does weed-
Based comedy. Correct. But you are actually what? His brother-in-law. His brother-in-law who does weed-based comedy. So the fake mustache was to disguise the fact that you are not his brother, you're his brother-in-law. Correct. And the accent, which I think, at least I can clearly tell the difference. I can't tell any difference between it. No, it is different. And yeah, it's hard. But if you go to see Weed Foxworthy, you're expecting a mustache. Yes.
You're expecting a mustache. That's a good point. And it's, you know, we're out on the road and it's hard because I was watching this Weed Seinfeld fella and he all of a sudden blew up. He started having tens of people at his shows. Yeah, we had him on the, I mean, I didn't think he was very good the few times that he was on. Sure. No, he's terrible. The guy's a hack.
Yeah. But all of a sudden, people started going out to the show. And I said, what did you do? And he said, comedy bang bang. He said, I tried to get booked on every podcast. The one that will book you, he said, comedy bang bang. What is going on? All right. I reached out to my agent. And I said, let me come do some of my material so I can also, because I have material. Okay. Well, let's hear the material. Almost 15 jokes. I'm probably more interested in the material than in your backstory. Okay. Fair enough. You know, I read the room. I can tell. You can sour on people pretty quickly. All right.
If you're trying to decide to name your first child Indica or Sativa, you might be a pothead. That's pretty good. That's true. If you're Long Island comedian John Gabrus, you might be a pothead. Okay, that's a good one. All right. If you refuse to drink and drive, so instead you get really high, you might be a pothead. If you're known for your tie-dye skills...
He might be a pothead. If you think 420 is a funnier number than 69, you might be a pothead. It's a push for me. If you like to sync up the Wizard of Oz with the Pink Floyd's Wish You Were Here album, he might be a pothead. Oh. No, if you heard that and then you thought, no, it's actually not Pink Floyd's Wish You Were Here album, it's actually Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon album you sync up with Wizard of Oz,
He might be a pothead. I think Dan was about to say it. So you might be a pothead, Dan. I was. Can I just. Yeah. Can I just. Please. Yeah. Yeah. I think you're hilarious. I mean, Dan is an accomplished stand up comedian. Yeah. These jokes are fantastic. These are good, good jokes. I mean, unlike that weed sign guy. Thank you.
He literally did one joke and sat down to do panel. Yeah. And what if there's not a panel? Laughing is just him. It's laughing just him on stage. And he expects this audience to start a panel. Yeah. Wow. But you're legitimately good. Thank you. So what's the issue? Well, I don't know. Part of it is my Jeff Foxfeder doesn't like my act at all. Your brother. He doesn't like it. He's married to who? Your sister? My sister, yes, is married to him.
Yes. Yeah. Sorry, it's a big family just trying to, you know, that's where he gets all his jokes. Yeah, exactly. Well, here's the thing. It's probably just because you're doing it, you know, in his style. But the jokes are actually really funny, which tells me that you're a very talented comedy writer. You should try to find your own voice. Okay. Yeah.
All right. Let me see if I can. Like pull from your life experience. Is that an overstep? Can I say that? Hey, I think that's all right. I would normally say never listen to anything that Taylor says, but she's right. I bought yuck yucks. So it's a Canadian comedy club. Jeff Pogsworthy's wife, Pamela Gregg. This is your sister. Yeah. Yes, that's right. Gregg with two G's. Or three, actually. Two at the end. We always say the more on there, the more your family. Throw some more G's on there. Come on, hang out. That's what we always say. Can I ask?
something? Is that okay? Is that an overstatement? Yeah, I think of both of you two as basically the same. You and Dan seem to me from everything I've heard. How did you end up with the last name Foxworthy? Well, here's the funny thing. It's when I married someone else, I said, can we change our name to my successful brother-in-law's last name? I get it. And she said, hell yeah.
She said, hell yeah, we can. And I said, let's do, I'm doing, I'm doing the, uh, the light blue collar comedy tour, uh, due to copyright law. I couldn't do the blue collar comedy tour, but so, but the light blue is okay. Yeah. It's a different color. Uh, and so, and so we go on the road. Uh, I got a friend, he drinks a lot. Uh,
he comes on stage with me as well sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes. So he's on the tour but only performs occasionally. Strangely enough, he's making most of the money. I'm not sure what kind of contract he signed but this guy is cleaning up and I am struggling. Yes.
Who else is on tour? We got Ron. Ron, he's the drinker. He's the drinker. Ron the drinker. Yep. And then we have Gary the plumber guy. He's always talking about getting stuff done later. I've had a couple of plumbers on this show. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Any funny ones? They're interesting, definitely. Mike the janitor is one. And then Mike Ruby, I believe, was his name. Oh!
Yeah. See, plumbers are funny. We can all agree with that. I will. Okay. Okay. I hate to make, I really want you to find your voice. Okay. Okay. And a way that comedians do this is you, it starts off actually, uh,
some tragic things that you have to think about that you can turn into something funny. So I'm going to start by asking, when was the last time you cried? Perhaps the day my wife died. Oh, no. Your wife? The one who took the name Foxworthy? Yeah. She sounded like a lovely woman. Yeah. And honestly, weed is a big reason why she died. Marijuana. Wow. How? Well, she was hit by a drunk driver going to pick up weed. What?
I don't know that I would blame the weed. It was the errand he was running. It was the errand he was running. He was running? Oh, he was trying to pick up weed. Yeah. He was drunk and she was trying to pick up weed? No, she was normal. Not normal. I'm not trying to say anything about anyone here. Sorry for not knowing who was picking up the weed. Yes, I'm sorry. With that sentence construction. Perhaps I visualized the horrific accident a little bit clearer than some of you who are just learning about it right now. Right. Yeah, she was just picking up weed.
some groceries, just doing a regular grocery run. Some of the groceries. Why not all? Well, we like to do half and half because there's different stores that have different things. So you pick up half? I go to Sprout, she goes to Ralph's. That's kind of our system. Yeah, and so she was picking them up and then a drunk driver hit her. Okay. Oh, God. That...
Comedy is tragedy plus time. Okay. Yeah. So how long has this been? Like a week and a half. Oh, God. Okay. A lot of time, actually. I think it's usually what comedy. Yeah, it needs a lot of time. But just as an exercise. Yeah. Okay. Retell that story. Okay. But say it in the same funny, upbeat way that you were delivering the jokes about the weed fox raid. These are good tips. Dan is a great stand-up comedian. So I would listen to what he says. So let's hear it. Okay.
If you're going to pick up some groceries and a drunk driver hits you because he's going to get the weed, then the guy driving the vehicle might be a pothead. I could see you started off wrong, but you twisted back around to the drunk driver. That was skillful. That was skillful. You know, groceries, I suppose, that makes me think if your largest meal of the day is a snack,
You might be a pothead. Okay. It seems like you're still going back to the pothead well. Right. Okay. So that's it. That's the ending. The ending keeps coming in similar is what you're telling me. Yeah. Yeah, pretty much. Okay. Also the setups. The setups are similar as well. Yeah, in the middle. Okay. Definitely. Yeah, you somehow took a tragic story about your wife's death and cut it up into parts.
about someone who may be a pothead. Like, stay in the story, but tell it funny. Do you have kids? I've got kids. I find, you know, they're in jail right now, but I find stuff they do funny. Do you have kids? Sure, yeah. They're in the same jail with this pothead driver. Yeah, wouldn't that be wild? Oh, wait, is he in jail? I don't know. No, he's not. No. He got off somehow?
This is just a week and a half ago. Yeah, a week and a half ago. Yeah, they're still figuring it out. But they said he seemed honest. So that's interesting. Are you okay to be here right now?
Yeah, honestly, this is the only thing I'm funneling all of my power and energy on towards. There are tears streaming down your face, and I think that's one of the reasons the fake mustache. Yeah, my mustache fell off. You can call it fake. I don't mean to imply that it's fake. Thank you. It is real hair, just not mine. Yeah, no, I'm struggling a little bit. But like Dan here is pushing me to do, perhaps that's a reason for me to connect with
to something more honest and more real. There you go. So let me think about my life. So if you're waking up crying all the time, and just feels like maybe life isn't always worth living because the thing you trusted and the thing you loved is gone, and now you got to be the dad.
And now you got to take care of all your family. You weren't the dad before. You're all of a sudden trying to figure out how do I even be a dad? Seems like you should have asked yourself this question. I've never even been a dad. I got a seven-year-old and a 13-year-old and I got to start being a dad to these kids? How am I going to do this? And so the only thing that gives you any peace of mind is a little bit of weed.
A little bit of marijuana. Wait, you smoke weed? Then I... Scott, let him go. Scott, let him go. I might be a pothead. We'd killed his wife and he's here smoking it? I might be a pothead. That was so brave. Okay. Was it funny? No, it was not funny. Nice stuff to hear. Hey, I have a question. Okay. Weed Foxworthy. You're not Weed Seinfeld, are you? Well...
I don't know why. Why would you? Do I look like Weed Seinfeld? Your tinier mustache, the Charlie Chaplin one. Yeah. If I were to pull on that. Oh, don't pull that one. Oh, no. I'm just going to reach over here and just. What's the deal with this guy? Okay. I knew it. I knew something was off with it. You're Weed Seinfeld. What's the deal with that?
over here, huh? Over here? The guy over here? He's acting like a big ball of sand, guys. You're pointing to yourself. What's the deal with him? Do you have disassociative disorder or various personalities? What's the deal with these big words? If I wanted big words, I'd smoke the didgeridoo.
I want, I want Weed Foxworthy back. Weed Seinfeld. You put the mustache back on. There we go. Yeah. What happened? I'm like the end of Primal Fear. You've ever seen that movie? Spoilers. Oh, okay. Sorry. Is one of your personalities a guy who spoils movies? Yeah. Jesus. The Prestige, there's actually two of them. They're twins. Right. That's what I call twins. Two of them? Yeah. Yeah.
Hey, look at the... Who are the twins who killed their dad? Oh, the Menendez? Menendez. I always want to say Mendoza. Oh, you could. I think we'd figure it out.
Context. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, I'm feeling better. I'm feeling better. I'm going to go back to my house in the Gulf of Mexico and relax a little bit. Oh, no. I haven't been there for a little while. Well, I got some good news for you, pal. Okay. You're getting $49.99 from a class action. Oh, okay. That's...
Yeah, I mean, enough for one go-go influx. Can I ask a question real quick? Yeah. Scott, why didn't you try and pull my mustache off? I didn't want to say anything. You saw the man sitting next to me and you tried to pull his mustache off. I'm sitting here with three mustaches on top of each other and you're not trying to pull a single one off. Okay, let's pull the first one off. Ouch. Ouch.
That didn't come off. You feel very comfortable just touching my face, don't you? Oh my God. I just got a text saying my kids and my house all burned up. Hold on. This is more important. The mustache. Yeah. Why did you ask me to pull off your mustache when they don't come off? I was just curious. I was curious why you were so comfortable pulling off this guy's mustache, but you didn't even try and pull off my mustache. But wait, your kids... And my house. And your house burned up? Dead, yeah. Oops. Your house is dead? And my kids...
I haven't heard about the grass yet, but I'm guessing. Okay. Probably dead. I'm really sorry. Comedy is tragedy plus time. Okay. So 30 seconds have gone by. Okay. Try to get comedy out of it. Go. Okay. Go. If you lost everybody you love in a horrific accident and... Okay. You can do it. You can do it. And you just want to... You just can't...
Come on, think about it. We believe in you. You got it. Hold my hand. Hold her mustache. Not too tight.
What's the deal with bongs? I mean, why do we call this stuff bongs? It's too far inside. Why do we call them bongs? I don't want to put something called bong in my lips. I want to put something called dick in my lips. Okay, all right. We signed up. You suck. We can't have a guy like you on the show anymore. We get too many complaints. Fair enough.
People think you're one note. Yeah, honestly, run and drive for me too. I think I got a little cowboy at the end of that one. All right. Look, we're running out of time. We just have time for one final feature on the show, and that is a little something called plugs. You don't know me, but I got A, B, D. But I'll tell you what I do. I'm going to listen to.
Listen to your love. Hey! Oh, there's that meow. That was Plugs Theme Parentheses Cat by Gordy Brave. Thank you to Gordy Brave for that wonderful plugback theme. If you have one, go over to cbbworld.com slash cbbworld.
I think. Yeah. I think that's where it is. It's been so long since I mentioned it. 15 seasons. 15 seasons. Yeah. All right, Dan, what do you want to plug here? Obviously we have undercooked is the book. Say the title again. Undercooked. How I let food become my life navigator and how maybe that's a dumb way to live. Yeah.
You can get anywhere. Also, my podcast, Green Eggs and Dan. You can get anywhere. And then Cobra Kai, you can only get at Netflix. Cobra Kai, Netflix, steal a password. I steal my mom's password to watch myself on Cobra Kai. That is not a lie. And also starting a new show on the YouTubes called The Vintage Roast, where me and my friend Jessica watch vintage food shows and comedies.
Comment on them. Okay. Like Julia Child. Like Julia Child. Food shows? I haven't thought this through. All right. All great stuff. And then Taylor Stephanie, what would you like to plug? Well, here's what I'd like to plug. I'd like to plug in my phone in the master bedroom, but all your shit's plugged in, Scott. We're going to have to move this. You've already been into the master bedroom? Look, you're not moving in. I'm sorry.
What do you mean? Exactly what I said. Like, which word do you have an issue with? Not moving in. Those are the words I have an issue with. That combination. Yeah. In that order. Look, Scott, we're going to have to work something out. I already moved all my stuff into your bedroom. When you say all your stuff, what did you move into my bedroom? Two suitcases, a bunk bed, my dog. Bunk bed? Yes. Where's Thomas going to sleep?
All right, we can talk about this afterwards. Do you have anything to plug right now or? No. Okay, great. Oh, wait, yes. Oh, okay.
I know somebody who's running a show at the Elysian Theater in Los Angeles. And as my Meemaw said, you should come. It is called Yeti for Real and it happens on Sundays. It's supposed to be second Sundays, but has been a wild variety of different Sundays at 9 p.m. Nice.
see I have no conception of what you're talking about okay I'm leaving the room right now because I am going to use your bathroom all right fine uh weed Seinfeld or weed Foxworthy whichever one you are right now I'll be weed Foxworthy okay great what do you want to play if you like comedy bang
bang, then you might like Holy shit. Improv. It's a show that you can watch from anywhere in the world online featuring so many great comedy, bang, bang performers, Paul F. Tompkins, uh, John Gabris, Lisa Gilroy, Lauren Lapkus, so many more. Uh, you can check it out. Uh, Holy shit. Improv.
on the old Instagram or Patreon.com slash HolyShitImprov for less than the price of one ticket. You can watch every show we've ever done. And one more, Apple TV has a new show coming out in May with Rose Byrne and Seth Rogen. It's called Platonic. For neighbors? It's even created by...
people from neighbors wow so if you enjoyed that maybe check out that show really only watch you can watch all of them if you want my friends in the first one so I watched the pilot episode after that if you enjoy keep watching what was wrong with this character that they didn't want him back after the first one honestly he has a character you think will come back and just does not so maybe they found that it was kind of one node and just perhaps he was off putting on set who knows exactly why that make the choices they do
I want to plug. Look, we talked about it before the comedy bang, bang, the podcast, the book out in stores now. It would be great if we were back on the list for the second week. I know we won't be, but still, it's a wonderful dream. But you can get it right now. And thank you to everyone who bought it. And very thrilling to be so well received.
Also, head over to CBBWorld.com for – we have so many shows over there. We have CBB Presents, shows like This Book Changed My Life and Hey Randy with Randy Snuts and Entree P. Neuer's Entrepreneur Tour with Entree P. Neuer and Appetizer P. Neuer.
as well as Parents Foster sometimes. So many great shows over there. Ad-free episodes of this show, as well as the archives, as well as ad-free episodes in the Archives of Freedom. If you're only listening to Comedy Bang Bang, you're just getting half the story. All right, let's close up the old plug bag. Okay. Okay. You got back. Back. Back. Back.
Look, look, bad, bad, you gotta, bad.
Yeah, that was Playback 99 by Good Marble. Thanks to Good Marble. And guys, I want to thank you so much. Dan, always great to see you. Continued success to you. Always love seeing you pop up in my favorite shows and in bookstores. It's wonderful to see how you've spun what you do into so many different facets of show business. I appreciate it. Thank you very much for having me. I forgot to plug my Instagram. Is it too late? You want to go back in?
I mean, we'd have to play the songs again. That's fine. I'll wait. Okay. All right. Here we go. This is the opening the plug bag theme. The one about the cat. All right. You don't know me, but I got A-B-D. But I'll tell you what I do. I'm going to listen to, listen to your blood.
All right. Okay, we're back in. What do you want to plug, you say? My Instagram is at standupdam.
Sorry, is there any way we can play it backwards? Because I'm trying to unplug this toilet. What did you do to the toilet? By the way, you just stepped back in the room. What toilet? I'm so sorry. Bad things. And I put TP on the grocery list and it's your turn to go. Okay, look. Oh boy, I've never seen a toilet that needs to be plugged in more in my life. What in the heck? Taylor, Stephanie, you're not moving in, but I thank you for being here. And we'd Foxworthy...
I don't know whether I, I can't say like, Hey, please come back sometime. Fair. Yeah. Fair enough. Probably not good to say that. I'll take you. I will take you up on that offer if you do. Um, okay. Yeah, that's all right. Do you want to put on both of your mustaches again? Yeah, let me see if I can. Let's see if I can. What's the deal? Uh, what, what, what,
What's this guy saying? Oh, yeah, that's right. What if your favorite guy in Jackass, if your favorite guy in Jackass is Weed Man, because you thought his name was Weed Man, he might be a pothead. Oh, really good. All right. We'll see you next time. Thanks. Bye. At Leidos, a brilliant mind is smart, but a brilliant team is smarter.
A ship that finds enemy subs is smart, but an autonomous fleet, that's smarter. Defending against cyber attacks, smart. Stopping attacks before they start, smarter. And using AI tools is smart, but integrating trusted mission AI into your technology is smarter. We're not just making technology solutions and national security and health. We're making smart smarter. Leidos.
Get ready to rack to school at your Nordstrom Rack store, because the deals are amazing. Levi's, Adidas, Volcom, and Hurley from only $20. Save on everyone's favorite denim, sneakers, boots, backpacks, and more at Nordstrom Rack. But hurry, get first dibs on new arrivals from just $20 and make it the best school year ever. Great brands, great prices. That's why you rack.
Every sandwich has bread. Every burger has a bun. But these warm, golden, smooth steamed buns? These are special. Reserved for the very best. The Filet-O-Fish. And you. You can have them too. For a limited time, the classic Filet-O-Fish you love is joining your McDonald's favorites on the 2 for $3.99 menu. Limited time only. Price and participation may vary. Cannot be combined with any other offer. Single item at regular price. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba.