Don’t Call Me Daddy (Kerri Kenney-Silver, Dan Lippert, Austin Williams)
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Every bone in my leg is named Greg. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Hmm, thank you to Titanic Rusticles for that catchphrase submission.

I don't think it's going to stick, though, but thank you, Titanic Rusticles. We're going to keep on searching for a new one. But welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. My name is Scott Aukerman. This is a great show today. Of course, we are closing out Bride Month. Now, a lot of people in June celebrate Pride Month. We celebrate Bride Month because every...

A block guest this month was supposed to be women and then one dropped out. And so we had a man last week. Anyway, it's still it's still bride month as far as I'm concerned. And we're closing out strong. But before we get to her, let me let me tell you who's coming up a little later. We have a we have a very special PSA. We have a mother coming in to give us a very special PSA. And that's the that's the rest of the show.

I said it was a great show. I don't know. So far, so good. I mean, you're a great guest. I mean, look at me already. Right out of the gate. Right out of the gate, we have a movie and TV star. Oh, who is it going to be? It's you, madame. My goodness, the bride of the day. That's right. We are closing out Bride Month with a very special guest. She's making her first appearance on the podcast, if you can believe it.

But of course, most listeners know her as Meryl from the Comedy Bang Bang TV show. Everybody's talking about it. That's right. From the Weird Al Yankovic Wears a Hawaiian Shirt episode. That's right. I think I had a bag of potato chips shaped like people. That's right. Yes. Very fun. That was such a fun time. Everybody's talking about it. Have you worked since then? No. So I've actually been in your driveway the whole time waiting to be brought in. Oh,

No, of course we know her as, for now, how long has it been on Reno 911? Is it two decades yet? We did the pilot in 2000. 2000, 25 years of the 25th anniversary? Kind of. We didn't air until 2003. Okay, well you could celebrate that in 2028. That'll be another podcast. Yes. Oh, just a podcast. I'll just wait here. Okay, great. You know her as Officer Trudy Weigel in that episode.

You know her as she's been all over your television and film screens, and now she has a new television show on Netflix called The Four Seasons. I do. You do. And we're going to talk about it right here on the show. I really did it. Carrie Kenny Silver is here. Hi, Carrie. Hi. Thank you for having me. It's so wonderful to have you on the show. You're one of the...

bucket list guests. Oh my gosh. You've turned it down every week. I send you a request every week. Sometimes twice a week. Yeah, that's true. And sometimes you just show up. That's true. With my recording equipment in tow. No, thank you. Yeah, but finally you have something that you want to get the word out about. That's it. That's what it is. I'm making a worldwide plea for people to please watch the four seasons. Although I will say the...

amount of people that have already watched is absolutely shocking to me. It's astronomical. It's always number one or number two on Netflix. In the world. In the world worldwide. Like, what is that? I don't know. It's crazy to be part of something so popular. It is. It is.

I don't know what it's like. Especially for me. Well, I didn't either until a month ago. You've been stuck doing this Reno 911 show for 25 years? I've been very happily swimming in the lane of alt comedy since 1992. Now, alt stands, it's short for salt. Is that right? That's correct. Salt comedy. That's correct. Now we're getting all peppery. Yeah.

And the four seasons, first, let's say what it is. It is, how macro should I get? Do I need to explain television? Yeah, I think so. We have time, right? Yeah, tubes. Do TVs still have tubes? You're doing great. You're doing great. Tubes, cathodes, visual images. Don't forget the buttons. Oh, no, now I'm just doing Nicole Kidman. Visual images on a screen.

But yes, the buttons rewind, pause. TiVo came around in around 1999, 2000. It allowed us to pause our television screens. Well, if you're fancy like you. I still have the remote that's attached by a string. Yeah.

To the TV. Is this like a wax string? Like one of those telephone? It's like a Twizzler. Oh, okay. Yeah. I think you could just bite that off. Yeah. I'm starting to think it's not a real television. Yeah. What do you watch on it? Nothing. There's nothing on there. Yeah. I don't think this is real, Carrie. I don't think so either. Yeah. I'm such a sucker. You got to watch the four seasons on a real television. Let's talk about it. It is a television show. It's on Netflix. It's a TV show.

currently there's only one season. And when we talk about a season, I know it's confusing because the show is called The Four Seasons. So you're like expecting to go on Netflix, like, okay, let's watch four seasons of this television show. Have you found that people are confused? I think the first thing people were confused about was

because of White Lotus, when they saw the trailer for this, they thought, oh, this is about the Four Seasons, the hotel. The hotel, yeah. It is not. It is based on a movie written and directed by Alan Alda in 1981. Now, Alan Alda, we all know him and love him as that wonderful television doctor.

I'm talking, of course, about Dr. Gabriel Lawrence on ER. This is the guy. You have nailed it. Don't do any more research. In season five. Yes. But he also did a bunch of other things. But he wrote and directed this movie back in the 80s. And you think it's about the four seasons. And then the very first scene of the television show is everyone arriving at a place and you're like,

here comes the four seasons. I'm going to get to see this gorgeous hotel. No, you're not. And then it's a house. It's a house. And there's only one season of the show. There's only, it's so confusing. I don't get it, Carrie. I don't either. Just forget it. Bye.

My tiny little heels. My tiny little Barbie shoes on your floor. On your marble floor. Would you be in the sequel to Barbie if they asked you? Obviously. Who wouldn't? The hard-hitting questions. So this is a television show that was created by Lang Fisher and Tracy Wigfield and Tina Fey. Yep. Is that short for Christina... Fey? Yeah, it is. Is it really? I don't know. I don't know. Let's look her up.

So far, your Google machine has not been doing a great job with research. Tina Fey. Elizabeth is her name, right? It is Elizabeth. And Tina's in quotes, which leads me to believe she's a liar. That's just her stripper name. Oh, okay. Got it. Yeah. She took it as a professional. Yeah. But this is a

It feels reductive to call it a sitcom, a.k.a. situational comedy. You know, it has a similar vibe to the 1981 film, which at the time... I just keep... People use a lot of words to describe it. Like, is it this? Is it that? It just feels like real life to me. There are some really dark, dramatic moments. There is lots of levity. There are...

It's just this. This is what drew me to it as an 11 year old watching. You watched it when you were 11 years old? A million times. And I can't tell you how many people of our generation have said that, too. And I think back in the day, we didn't really separate children's programming with, you know, we had Zoom. We had Sesame Street and those things. When we say Zoom, this is a television program, by the way.

We didn't have Zoom. We didn't have Skype like all the kids use these days. They're always on Zooms. They're always like, oh, daddy, let me join the Zoom. Let me share my screen. We didn't have Sony Walkmans like you do now. No, we had to Walkman to school. That's all right. I'll let that one go. It's fine. It's early. It's not that early.

I really should have worked all these out beforehand. No, but it was like a, it was a, it had a, first of all, I think it was a summer when it was on a lot back when cable would just play the same thing over and over. So you had cable when you were 11 years old? No, but my grandmother did. Oh.

Yes. Wow. Hip grandma. In the summer, you would just be like whatever was on. Is it on Golden Pond? Is it that? But I also at the same time. All these older people shows. Exactly. And Tina said the same thing. She's like, why was 11-year-old me so drawn to this story about divorce and

And all these I mean, I think it's because my parents had recently been divorced. It felt real to me. There's Carol Burnett. I love her. There's Alan Rita Moreno, all these people that, you know, from other things. And that was the that that was the energy that Tina wanted to bring to this. Wait a second.

There's Will Forte. I know him from SNL, but then there's Coleman Domingo. He has a I know from this Oscar nominated for this drama and Kerry Kenny Silver, who she just came in off the street. But, you know, bringing all these people from different worlds. Steve Carell. We know him from The Morning Show. Hello. Hello. I mean, so it's it's.

it feels to me like, I know we know him now. Listen, Toby, I didn't know was going to play my spoiler alert. How long have you known Toby? Cause I've known him for now, 20, 30 years. When I say the beginning, I mean like, you know, since the beginning of my career, there was nothing before that.

But Toby started doing Reno with us like almost in the beginning. Right. And I did not know, nor did I have anything to do with the fact that he was cast. So the casting couch was not a part of the process in making this show. It was more like a satay. A fainting couch, perhaps. A fainting couch. Oh, I love that. I love a fainting couch. Oh, I love it. I faint upwards of 20, 30 times a day. And I'm always like, where's the couch?

a couch. I know. You might need to be seen for that. Yeah. I don't think I have an iron deficiency. Is that something that I need to look into? No. No. Not these days. It's overrated.

So you have Steve Carell, Will Forte, Tina Fey, Coleman Domingo, Marco Calvani and yourself are the main six couples of this show. And it's called The Four Seasons because it actually, weirdly enough, takes place in all four seasons of the calendar year, the Roman calendar. Can you believe it? Spoiler alert. Now no one's going to watch it. Sorry.

Yeah, I spoiled everything. It's a cozy comedy that has like... A CC. I think it's a CC, and you can also closed caption it. Sure, of course. You can if you want. Sure.

And it just feels like this friend group and these, you know, of a certain generation, of our generation, which you don't get to see a lot on television. Oh, that's right. You know, every time I turn on the TV, everyone is like under five years old. Yeah. Wait, hold on. Wait a second. Which shows are you watching? Oh.

Let's see. I'm usually watching like Kids Pop. Yeah. That might be part of the problem. There are other channels. There are? Yeah. Where you can watch like 15 to 22 year olds. Oh, okay. Exclusively. Yeah. I'll send you a link. Okay. Thank you.

But yeah, this is for not for but it's about and regarding people in their 50s. Yeah. And you don't see that a lot. You don't see those full stories being told all that often. I was saying that, you know, 15 years ago as a woman in this business as a 55 year old woman, the best I could have hoped for at this stage in my career was this.

The Wacky Neighbor or... Which you have played. Which I continue to play. It's my bread and butter. I'm fine with it. I believe you were in the Netflix show Love, created by Paul Rust as The Wacky Neighbor. Love it. But a woman of this age, it used to be that the only opportunities really were the mother-in-law who comes in and wags her finger every five episodes and she leaves and everyone rolls their eyes and goes, that's my mom. And so to have a meaty story...

for this generation i think is a really beautiful thing but also other generate i've been so surprised at how many young people have come up to me and said i just watched it for the second time or you know it's so it's not because young people are going through i'm sure some of the same things that are happening to these characters there are not to spoil any of the twists and turns it's almost like an m night shamalan thing here but um almost

If, you know, his movies primarily were about divorcing. Sure, sure. Hey, let's go see Trap about that divorce. About the divorce that's kind of funny also. But it's about three couples and their travails and pitfalls and hardships in their each individual marriages and what they go through. And you have, some are saying the meatiest role of the six. You have, there are tears shed.

How'd you do the tears scenes? Did you put squirt stuff in your eyes? I just shed them. I just shed them. You shed them. I've been saving them up for this role. Really? That's the way to do it? I mean, no one saw me in this way. And Sherry Thomas, the casting director, for her to pull me into that audition room, I was excited just to get the audition. Oh, someone thinks that I can do this?

And so I keep waiting for the finger on the shoulder, like, you know. You know what, season two? You know what? That was cute, but you've been replaced. Like they would replace, like, in I Dream of Jeannie. Well, that happens, yeah. The character of Anne will now be played by. Exactly. I mean, I was watching an episode of VR the other day, and Jingmei's father, who...

for seasons and seasons was played by one actor just suddenly like they take him into the ER in season 11 and he's like you know some different guy come on man Hollywood is cruel

But yeah, no, it's incredible to see you in this capacity and in this way. How many auditions did you give? Two. So I was so excited to just be in a room in person, first of all, because I don't know if people know, but really since COVID. Self-tape. Self-tape. And I don't,

don't know how to do lighting. This is why I do comedy. If I had skills, I wouldn't be doing comedy. So yeah, came in person to Sherry Thomas's office and read and really didn't put too much on it because I thought, well, I'm not going to get this, but I'm just so excited. That's the best way to go into an audition where you're like, I'm not going to get this, so let me just do whatever I want. Turns out that was really, that was the best way. And then there was a callback on Zoom and

from my home with Tina, Tracy, and Lang, and Sherry Thomas. So that was it, two auditions. - Wow, and so you read with Tina. - I read with Tina, and I had never met her before. I had never met any of these people before. I met Tina on that Zoom.

The first time I met everybody in person was when we sat down to do our first scene together. Really? No table reads? Nothing? Just like first scene? Zoom table reads. Zoom table reads? Yeah. And then you get in a room. Do you remember what your first scene was on day one? Oh, yeah. My first scene was the scene when we go to the pharmacy, myself and Marco and Tina. And it was out of body. This is a funny scene, by the way. It's a funny scene. And I...

was like, I don't know what I'm doing with my hands. How do people move? What is... What'd you end up doing with them? Like hold them straight up in the air? I don't even want to watch. I don't know. Hopefully they just cropped them out. But no, it was terrifying. And then the next scene was a scene with everybody, the whole cast sitting around a table. Those take forever to shoot. Table scenes... It didn't though. Nothing took forever to shoot. The whole process was so...

and comfortable and realistic days. It wasn't 18-hour days. It just felt like, can this be real? Are we actually making something here? Because this feels too, I don't, easy is not the word. It felt comfortable and safe and fun. Also, it's a big budget production, which on Reno, you don't. Never experienced that before, ever.

I mean, I kept walking up to craft service going, I can have any of this? I was just here and had a pickle. Are you sure I can come back for olives? And you, again, not to give away the plot, but things happen and people are like, oh, I don't know if the original six are going to continue to be in the show, but you're in the entire thing. And it's already been picked up for a second season, which is exciting. And a lot of people are...

are saying not only do you have Emmy buzz for this show, but you have Oscar buzz. And I'm like, how does this happen? It wasn't even a movie. I heard Nobel Peace Prize. I heard that too. It's insane the things that are happening with this. People talk, but people talk. People talk all the time. I've noticed that they tend to talk once a day usually. Yeah. And it doesn't mean it's definitely going to happen. But I think it will. Just that it likely will. I mean, that's the thing about Oscars is like you watch the Oscars and every year

Someone wins for something that you've never seen before. Yeah, it's like you're watching, you know when you watch like a horse race and a dog or a squirrel jumps over into the finish line, into the track and everyone cheers for them. Yeah. We're that squirrel. Exactly. But for the Oscars, like instead of just giving it to some random thing that no one's seen, just go give it to a TV show that everyone likes. That everyone thinks is lovely. Yeah, exactly. We might win Formula One.

So when do you go back to film the second season? Same schedule as last time. So we'll go back. It'll probably be Hudson Valley again in September. In September. So the countdown begins. Yeah, we did. Last time we did three and a half months in Hudson Valley. And then we went to Puerto Rico to film the summer episodes. Right.

Oh, wow. How long was that? That was around Christmas time for two weeks. For two weeks. It was dreamy. You're almost like a four-month shoot, which is great. Perfect. In a big budget thing. Do you get paid by the day or by the season? Probably by the season. We get paid a bucket. By the second. They hand you a bucket of money every second. You guys, you got to get on this. I've been telling people this for years. You got to get on a big, huge hit TV show. Why not? You know, I had a friend.

And I had a friend growing up whose mother didn't quite understand how it all worked. And she would always say to me, you have got to get a Coke commercial. And I was like, yeah, that would be great. Yeah, of course. And I actually ended up doing a Barks root beer commercial with Nick Swardson. Whoa. And I remember calling her and saying, I did it. I'm on a Barks. She's like, no. Not Coke. Not Coke. Like, who do I call? Yeah.

Well, the Four Seasons is out now. I tore through these. I wish I could say I did it all in one sitting, but I went to bed after the sixth one. That's all right. And I woke up and I watched the other two in the morning. But it is fairly bite-sized. It's not going to be a month of your life. No. The entire season is four hours long. It's not like watching ER and trying to get through 15 seasons of it before you watch The Pit.

I feel like ER has a real hold on you. Now, it's out now. Four Seasons is out now. Of course, we have to mention The State, the sketch show from the 90s that you were a cast member of that was...

Rolling Stone famously said was the number two 90s sketch show behind Mr. Show, which I was on. And Tom Lennon will never let me forget it. Interesting that you bring that up and say that that's famous because that's the first time I've heard it. Really? No, I don't know. Tom Lennon talks about it constantly. Of course he does. Number two. That hurts. That hurts him. Yes. 30 years later, he is really upset about it. You don't want to be number one, though. You want to be the underdog. I wanted to be number one, and we ended up being number one. Okay. Well, everybody's happy except for Tom. Yeah.

But that's... It's fine. That's standard. It's fine. He'll get over it. You guys... Did something just happen with a bunch of... Was there like a sort of mini reunion in New York? It was a mega reunion, actually. I don't know if you heard, but it was pretty mega. Yeah.

No, we did this documentary director, Matthew Pernissiero, just directed a documentary about the state called Long Live the State. Really? And it just premiered at the Tribeca Film Festival. And you watched it? And we watched it. We had an incredible screening and everybody was there except for Ben Sarkis.

was starting to shoot something that he had created. And Michael, I hear everyone was very... No, Michael was the show alter was there? No, no, no, Black. Oh, I'm sorry, excuse me, Black wasn't... Everyone was very happy that he wasn't there. Black wasn't there either because he had a show in upstate New York. Was he doing the Ninja Turtle show again? But he came the day before and we did like our big family dinner and stuff. Oh, fun. He

that Ninja Turtle story has made a resurgence and it makes me so happy. Of course, he was on my other show, We've Got to Stop Talking TMNT on CBB, talking all about it. It's a fascinating episode for people. It's over on CBB World and you can hear all about him and Ben, right? They both were ninja, posed as ninja turtles. Yes, it's very funny. I mean,

It's a fascinating story. Yeah. And then he also drove several members off a cliff, right? Correct. I got a phone call that they were all in the hospital because he had flipped. He fell asleep. They were on a tour. I was on tour with my band that summer. They went on a state tour. Yes. But they were on a state tour and he fell asleep at the wheel and flipped the van in a flash.

Yeah. That was almost a Big Bopper style. Yeah. Like, can you think of how the world would be different? Because who was it? It was Black. And who else was in the band? Ken Marino, Joe Latruglio, David Wayne. Brooklyn Nine-Nine wouldn't exist. No. Marino wouldn't exist. The Wet Hot American Summer wouldn't exist. Children's Hospital wouldn't exist. Right. Penicillin wouldn't exist. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't know how, but that it definitely tracks. Yeah, the buttercream effect. Yeah. And that so so is that all in the documentary? I would imagine. No, it's not actually. Believe it or not. Something that huge occurs. It's not even doesn't even make the doc. Well, that just shows you. I mean, we've been together since I mean, I met Tom when I was in 1988. Yeah.

You were all in... Excuse me. I met Tom in 1986. I met the rest of the state in 1988. Before college? Where did you meet Tom? Yeah, at summer camp at Northwestern. Summer theater camp. I didn't know that. We were 16, but then... Or 17. That was 1987. 1988, the state we all met and started working together as the new group, which became the state. So yeah, for 37 years, a lot has happened. A lot has happened. You don't see anyone doing a Mr. Show documentary, even though we were number one. Yeah, there's not enough of you.

I mean, it would be like a short. Yeah, it's Bob and David and then they would play every part in the documentary. And occasionally throw us a bone. The show was great. They're number one, the end. I mean, that's not a real... Not a lot of drama. We saw it already.

Well, I can't wait to see this. When's it come out? That's a great question. They have to sell it first. Thank you so much. They have to sell it first. I'd like to buy it. Oh, wow. How much? Four? I don't know. Four? And I don't even know what I mean by that. I'm willing to give it to three. This is not my movie, but I'll take it. Okay. We have a deal. Let's shake on it. And wait. Do my little clippy cloppy shoes going out the door. Good day. Oh, I'm driving an elephant.

Well, this is exciting. We, of course, have the Four Seasons, which is out now in Emmy voters. You know, start tipping and tapping away and pressing that little button next to Carrie's name because I want to see the nom. I want to see the win. I want to see you get up there on stage and hold it aloft with those hands you don't know what to do with. Wow. And Oscar voters. Oscar voters. And Nobel Peace Prize. I don't want to get too greedy. The Peabody, though, that's certainly within reach. Obviously.

Anyone can win a Peabody. I feel like we've got that one in the bag. Exactly. That is out now, four seasons. We have to take a break. But when we come back, we're going to have more with Carrie. We also have a mom who's going to be giving a PSA. This is a very exciting show. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this.

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Hey, everyone. Scott Aukerman here. Y'all know me. Still the same old G. Anyway, I've been low-key. In any case, I want to tell you about a podcast that I've been enjoying. It's the Lonely Island and Seth Meyers podcast. That's right. I mean, it's right there in the title. Who's involved in this and what it is. The Seth Meyers podcast.

The one from Late Night with Seth Meyers. Anyway, he sits down with his fellow SNL alums and comedy music sensations. The Lonely Island, our pals Andy Samberg, Akiva Schaffer, Jorma Taccone. And they discuss their wildly popular and groundbreaking series of SNL digital shorts that aired on SNL beginning in 2005. Along the way, they talk about everything.

Podcasts are found.

Comedy Bang Bang, we're back. Kerry Kenny Silver is here. Of course, the four seasons out on Netflix right now. This has been out for now two months. It's still number one in countries around the world. You have Steve Carell. And did you, Ed, you met Steve before this? I had never met Steve. What a, he lives up to all of the hype.

Does he? Yes, I worked with him once. He was great. All of the hype. Very fun. And yeah, John, let's just John, hold on one second. Hold on one second, John. Let me just talk to Scott about this. Hey, Scott. Sorry to interrupt. Hi, Carrie. Sorry, Carrie. Michael Lindsay Hogg. We spoke on the phone. I did your

Oh, yeah. Hi. Hi, Michael. What's going on? I'm in the middle of the show, actually. Well, I apologize, Scott. Is this one of those it's easier to ask for forgiveness than for permission kind of things? Because I would rather you just ask permission. Well, I ask for permission and then you say no. So this works better for me.

I don't forgive you. Okay, well... If you ask for permission first and I say no, and then you ask for forgiveness, I'm not going to forgive you. What do I have to do? I'm down on bended knee for forgiveness. You're standing straight up right now. Emotionally, I'm down on bended knee, hat in hand. Your hat is... You're wearing two hats, by the way, and they're still on your head. I am showing you my belly here. I am asking forgiveness. He actually is showing his belly. I really wish he wouldn't do that. Disturbing.

Sorry, everyone who's listening and was expecting a more in-depth conversation about when this came out and Steve Carell. This is Michael Lindsay-Hogg. Hi. You're part of the booking process now of the show. Yes. I emailed you because I thought you could do a better pre-interview. You were on the show before. I was on the show once before. For those of you who don't know who Michael Lindsay-Hogg is, he directed...

Get Back. I directed some movie with Peter Sellers and... Some movie with Peter Sellers. And Ringo Starr that's referenced a lot in Get Back. I forget what it's called at this exact moment. And you're the guy, if you watch the Get Back Peter Jackson documentary, who keeps begging them to go to Egypt. Giving them amazing ideas. I wanted them to go to Egypt and do a concert in front of 5,000 Arabs. Uh,

I also gave them notes on a lot of their songs, and they ignored most of them. But, Scott, it'll be just a moment. I have Jon Hamm on the line. I'm doing his pre-interview for a future episode. Yeah, great, yeah. He wants to talk about...

you know, you get these stories on here. He wants to talk about eating too much applesauce on the side of your friends and neighbors and getting a side eye from Amanda Peete. It's not for me. We're trying to judge up the show here. I mean, but this sounds like a great story. Yeah. Getting a side eye from Amanda Peete. How much? Wait, wait. How much applesauce? Well, I can. John, how much applesauce?

Wow. That doesn't sound like too much. It doesn't sound like too much. I'm saying you want to go viral, Scott. So I'm telling John he doesn't want to do it. I was talking about this a couple of weeks ago. I miss the days...

back when we would make news stories with what someone said. Nowadays, Tatiana Maslany comes on here and she makes news about the fact that she was cut out of, what's that guy's name? He's irreverent, he wears a mask. Jim Carrey. That's one of them. Deadpool is who I'm thinking of.

Okay. All right. Two similar guys. Two similar guys. Jim Carrey and Deadpool, very similar guys. Now, that's a new story. Cut out of the mask, Tatiana Maslany at the youngest of ages, I'm sure. Yeah, so we'll get picked up by comic book sites occasionally, but I miss the days when we were on the Today Show. Who's that guy who used to do the Today Show? I love that you keep looking at me.

Have I answered one of your who's that guy questions correctly? Who's that guy? Jim Carrey. Jim Carrey, yeah, on the Today Show.

I miss those days. This is how we get those back. You know what goes viral? What? Conan O'Brien trying to eat a lot of wings and power through it. So I'm telling Jon Hamm, look, you know Matthew Wiener. Let's have you talk to Scott in a hot tub of a thousand wieners. I feel like it's Wiener. Well, it doesn't work for this then. We have to pronounce it Wiener for this. And it's you, it's Jon Hamm, a hot tub of a thousand wieners in front of a thousand winners. It's a viral... I think those are Wieners. Wieners.

Well, okay, we could do whiners. Let's do whiners across the board. Okay, a thousand whiners. A thousand whiners. Okay, great. Matthew Weiner. Yes. And then we eat. Well, no, he sits in a hot tub of a thousand wieners. I guess I don't know what a whiner would be. Let's do a whiner, whiner, whiner, whiner, and wiener. Whiner, whiner, and wiener. Oh, if you could get some Shriners in there. Yes, whiner, whiner, and Shriner. Okay, great. I'm going to get a ham hung up. Ham hung up. Ham hung up. Ham hung up.

I'm going to pitch that to him. I love it and I think it plays. I think we're going to get you to go viral. We got to get John back on the show. I would love to. He's already booked. It's just the pre-interview is a struggle. Since I'm here, do you mind? I just had a few more conversations. Carrie, I'm sorry about this. You had to go through this process. No, I feel like this has to happen now. I agree. Carrie roundly struck down my idea of

doing an interview carrying 500 cans of silver with Kerry Kenney Silver. We had a seven-hour pre-interview call. That feels like it's not enough. Too short. I agree. We just didn't get to know each other. When you say cans of silver...

What are you talking about? Well, imagine silver, you know, a nickel. Or I guess that's nickel. Is nickel a silver? That was a detail yet to be worked out if I had agreed. But imagine the internet. Why isn't every coin named after the metal that it's made out of? Right, because penny is copper. Yeah. So it should be a copper. Well, then you would think you were paying with police. Yeah, that's a good point. I found a copper in my couch. Yeah.

Anyway, Michael Lindsay-Hogg, great to see you. No, no, no. There's just a few others I wanted to talk through. I do think we're trying to go viral, right? Because this plays, Daddy. This plays. I don't love you calling me Daddy, but I'll... Oh, no. I'm from a different era. Who am I, Alex Cooper? Come on. Get out of here. I call you Daddy.

Okay. Well, Scott, we got Z-Way coming back, right? Yeah. Great. Now, Z-Way wants to tell a story about the time she made Mario Lopez apologize for promoting toxic masculinity as AC Slater. It's been done. So I'm thinking. Has he ever apologized for this? Oh,

Every interview, Mario Lopez is apologizing for the toxic masculinity. Why should he have to apologize? I feel like the creators and writers of Saved by the Bell would be the ones to apologize. Don't you agree? I guess. You're an actor. What do you think? He's in the news a lot lately. Is he? What's he doing? Well, I just... He just got... Am I thinking of the right person? He just got served...

On the tennis court? No, no. From a process server? A process server. Let me look this up. The new story is that Mario Lopez got served by a process server. Oh, no, no. It wasn't Mario Lopez. I'm thinking of... Listen. Listen.

Let me just look up process server. I'm going to Google process server. It couldn't have been Mario the Plumber. Let's just look up all the court cases. And then I'm going to do news. Process server news. Okay. Be wary of, be wary off calls. Come on, they meant of. If you can't even get the spelling right in your headline, Canton repository. Oh, they're known for it. Okay.

Cane County's judge 100K defamation lawsuit against Geneva blogger stalls for lack of service. Geneva blogger? Is that who you were thinking of?

How about celebrity process server? I'm going to try. I feel bad that I just said something about someone that might not be true. By the way, Mario Lopez, Access Hollywood, you're going to have to, or Entertainment Tonight, whatever he's on, you're going to have to rub shoulders and cozy up to these people in your Emmy campaign. Oh my God. You don't want to be talking about this. What about the Peabody people? What are they going to say? Kenny Silver apologizes to Mario Lopez while playing Mario World. Yes. It plays, daddy. Let's do it. Let's do it. I'll do whatever it takes. Olivia Wilde.

No, this is from three years ago. Never mind. Okay, perfect. Well, listen, my news could be from three years ago. That's true. That is very accurate. You have a TV attached to a Twizzler. Exactly.

God, I wonder if it was a Mario or whether it was a Lopez or not even any of these things. I wish I cared enough to look it up. Yeah, I don't care enough either. I don't. What if George Lopez is suing Mario Cantone and you just combine those? Yeah, this is a good idea. See, now I'm going to repeat that later thinking, I heard it somewhere. It has to be true.

What are your other... So we got Z-Way, right? She wants to tell that Mario Lopez story. Obviously, it's got some legs. I don't think it's got legs, Daddy. I think it doesn't play. So I'm thinking we get Z-Way in a ways with Scott Ackerman in front of three bays. Michael Bay? No, no, but before all else, people's favorite partner, your bay. Oh, I see. I thought you meant maybe the Bay of Pigs. Well, how would you get... I guess we could...

If you have the budget, I would love to fly you and Z-Way down to a Bay of Pigs. We absolutely do not. Okay. If you could work in a sponsorship for Old Bay Seasoning. Oh, what is Old Bay Seasoning? Old Bay. Just note you put it on your boil. Yeah, you would put Old Bay on any sort of seafood boil, crawfish boil, shrimp boil. You could also put it on French fries if you're having a lobster roll at a restaurant.

It's a blend of herbs and spices by McCormick and Company. Today is brought to you by Old Bay Seasoning. I would love that. I would love for anyone to sponsor this show. Oh, that's not a thing? Yeah. We're really having to tighten our belt here. I'll call Old Bay. Okay.

That would be incredible. That helps me a lot. I appreciate that. If you can just get me on that call, we'll do a pre-interview. Okay, Michael Bay, Old Bay Seasoning, and the Bay of Pigs. We're in front of these. We're at the Bay of Pigs with Michael Bay and a bunch of Old Bay, sponsored by Old Bay Seasoning with a bunch of people's partners before all else. In a ways. And we take a ways. And we take a ways with Z-Way, who's doing your directions, essentially. Okay. This sounds good to me. This sounds good? All right. I'll call Z-Way. This sounds good to me. Is it gilding the lily to add the Green Bay Packers?

I don't think so at all. I don't think so at all. What about the 2005 Green Bay Packers? So you want Favre? Who doesn't want Favre? He was in the news recently, too. Was he? Yeah, we didn't have to bring that up. Oh, whoops. It's kind of a rule of threes with Favre now. If he's in the news again, it's like, okay, I've seen the last two, so this one's not going to be good.

He showed his penis. He stole money from people. That's what I was thinking of. That's what you're thinking of. Okay. I guess I should be looking these things up. You really got to Google Brett Favreau every single day just to see what pops up. Thank you for phonetically spelling it. Okay, Scott. I just finished texting the Bears.

Okay. Da Bears? No, not Da Bears. Not the Super Bowl Shuffle Bears. Which Bears are we talking about? The Bear, apostrophe S, the cast member from The Bear. So The Bear is... Oh, I see. The Bears. Because it sounded like you had a period after that. I apologize. Okay. I just finished texting The Bears. What would happen there?

Are you forgetting? Oh, the Bears. What? What would the point be there? You just run right into it. Okay. I just finished texting the Bears, Evan Moss-Bakarac. Okay. He's doing the show. Great. He loves the show. Okay. He's a big fan. This is great. I mean, he's never been on the show before. He's in Fantastic Four, First Steps. He's a fantastic guy, at least based on our conversation. We're having the first steps of getting on the show. He wants to talk about the time he had an upset tummy on the show. Oh, yeah.

On which show? On The Bear. Okay. Yeah, it sounds great. I mean, I'll just take him whatever he wants to say. No, it's a fine story. But what about Seven Minutes in Ebbin? So this is...

We interspace you inside Ahmed Mosbacherak. This plays, daddy. You do an interview over Zoom or Riverside or whatever your preference is. We're in some sort of like craft? Yeah. We're not loose, right? Have you seen Interspace? I've seen Interspace, but I just want to make sure we're not loose swimming around in his bike. No, no, you're not loose because that's more osmosis Jones. Because he has this upset tummy I've heard about. You might be able to solve the upset tummy in the interview. Imagine that. I'm talking...

Perez Hilton. It's a bad sign when you say I'm talking and have to say for five seconds after you can't even think of your first. No, I'm going straight to is Nikki Fink still Bofo? Nikki Fink told you she's not with us any longer.

Is that true? That is true. This reminds me of that Miss Frizzle book where she shrinks all the kids down into the school bus and then they go up into someone's nose. You should. You're a daddy. The magic school bus. The magic school bus. You don't read the magic school bus to your family? Thank you. And it went down into the thing. To my family. They took a...

Maybe one member. Gather round, family. Oldsters, youngsters alike. What are you doing with this fireplace if not gathering your family around it? Great Uncle Jebediah. Cozy in. Instead of a quirky, red-headed teacher, it's you, Scott Ackerman, solving Evan Moss Baccarat's tummy problems.

Should I give it a go? I'm firing off the text. I got it typed out. I guess my one question is, does the technology exist? I mean, what's the budget on it? I can't be out there funding research projects. Okay. Well, you hired me because you want to go viral. I do want to go viral. And you went viral on this Get Back documentary where everyone thought you were a fool.

You could go viral for lots of reasons. It doesn't have to be good. I don't know that I want to be the main character on the internet. Yeah, I know. I don't want to be milkshake ducked. Oh, the famous milkshake duck story. We loved him, didn't we, folks? And then milkshake duck got canceled. Do you have another person coming? Of course I do, Scott. I have 30 or 40 people lined up for you. Okay? That sounds promising. Well, okay.

It is. And I promise you this one works, okay? Gillian Jacobs. Okay, great. Friend of the show. She's been on so many times. Done it millions of times. Carrie played her wacky neighbor on Love. Yeah, I played her wacky neighbor. I lived in her backyard. Go on. Okay, well, maybe you... Because it was an insufferable conversation on the phone with her. I can imagine. I could not get any information out of her that was exciting as my pitch. She keeps it close to the chest. We ultimately got the... And the vest...

We ultimately got that she wants to talk about a time she got an upset tummy recording your podcast. What is going on? Is there a flu bug? I'm worried about us as a human race. I know. Are we all dying? Is this another... What was the number on that COVID? It's called the pandemic? Oh, oh. 19. Can you believe it was six years ago? It felt like yesterday. I'd almost forgotten about it. I know. Boy, the memory is a funny thing, isn't it? Gillian wants to talk about that. All right. I said...

It's Gillian Jacobs. What about we do a million make-em-ups with Gillian Jacobs? You and Gillian Jacobs do a million improv scenes. No suggestion. All organic improv. Wait, how do you do improv scenes? So just like a conversation? Yeah. Well, I suppose, but they'll be playing different versions of other people. Different versions of other people? Yeah.

I guess with a million scenes to do, you got to fill time somehow. So you're going to do like just different universes. Yeah. Ask me what an improv scene is. It's different conversations of other people. Wouldn't you say? That's not how I would describe it necessarily right off the bat. You might get there. Okay. Well, how would you define it? I've read every improv book. Okay.

Improvise by Mick Napier. Okay. Theater Sports by Keith Johnstone. What's a Del Close one? Del Close wrote one? He wrote a book, at least. I can see it's really paying off. Del Close wrote one?

What about Will Hines? Does he ever read his? Oh, yeah. Yeah. How to be the greatest improviser ever or improv nonsense. His series of Tumblr posts in two parts and two books. Perhaps. Both of them. And all they say is different conversations between different people. You like this idea. I can tell you. You couldn't even get it out of your mouth. Different conversations between different people. I would just like to see the barker outside of a comedy club. Come in and see different conversations with different people. Three tickets sold. Yeah.

I don't know about a million scenes. All right, that's a big nod from you on there. A million scenes. A big nod? Yeah. I'm full on shaking my head back and forth. I think he's nodding out. Yeah. Nodding off, perhaps. Nodding off. Nodding off. A million, that would be such a long evening of comedy. How do you mean? A million. How long are these scenes? I mean, a million of anything is going to be, even if it's a million seconds. Yeah. Well, that's why it goes viral. That's a long time. I see. That's what I'm seeing. I mean, it plays, Dad.

Someone may not make it. Maybe you're calling her daddy. By the way, a million seconds is 11 days. Yeah, that's a long improv. Could you imagine? No. Could you imagine the headlines? I think if I had to continuously perform comedy for 11 days without eating or sleeping, I mean, sleeping is going to be the big one, right? Sweetheart, we've been continuously performing comedy since 1988. Wow, where'd that big cigar come from? We're not viral yet. You look like the baby in Roger Rabbit.

Pass. I got to pass on that one. You're passing on Gillian? Yeah. Okay. Pass it on. Gillian, pass on a million. I'm going to move her over to Scott Hasn't Seen. Oh, so that you're announcing right now, essentially, that that is a bump down to be on that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

This is the main cast. Got to protect it. Okay. Well, so that's ETC stage. Maybe she'll make it back to the tour. Summer stock. This is your summer stock. Thank you. Exactly. Scott, thank you so much for letting me interrupt this interview. I really think this was a great interview. For the fans. No, I got more. I just, I don't know. You thought we were wrapping up? I don't know. You said, is that all you got? And so I thought, you know, and I felt bad interrupting. Okay. This is the first time any guest has felt bad interrupting.

I just, I just, I'm not here to be a part of the show. I want the show to be, the show was already incredible. Thank you. I mean, I thought it was such a good interview in the first segment. Such a good, I think we all can agree. And we were off to the races with the part two of the interview where we were going. I think just this interview might win us all a Peabody. Yeah, I think so. Man, the Peabodies are stacked this year. I think they have a lot left over from last year. They forgot to give out. They forgot to give them out last year. God, I meant to send them a reminder text. To practice.

giving them away. Wow. Well, it was Warren Beatty doing it. He just kind of slipped his mind, I think. Yeah. Anyway, you got another one? Well, I just want to say this interview here is incredible for the fans who love it already.

Okay. We're trying to bring in the wider audience out there. The people who- We want to cast our nets a little bit wider. Exactly. So that's all I'm trying to do here. Podcast our nets. We don't want to podcast. Okay. That's something. Hang on. That's an episode. I think that's an episode. That's true. Podcasting nets with the New Jersey nets. So we get Jason Terry. And we don't get the gross-

Of the ticket sales, we get the... Net! Yes! Okay, okay. Do you want to announce that in the viral title that you only get the net of the ticket sales? I think people kind of understand that. We get 100% of the net after costs. Okay, great. Well, who else do you have coming up? Because I've got a few more calls. Well, Pride Month is at its conclusion, unfortunately. Or who are your other bucket list guests?

Oh, man. Who would I love on this show? Boy, who are some of your comedy idols? I was going to get to that. Michelle Obama. Michelle Obama. Okay. Great comedy idol of all of us. No more drama with Michelle Obama. And I did say Mochelle, which we can fix. But if you want to do that. I think she's going to love that. Arf's.

or something. Anyway, go ahead. No More Drama with Michelle Obama. So you and Michelle and all you do is comedic improv scenes up to a million of them. You're just recycling old ideas. Well, no, this is No More Drama. No More Drama with Michelle Obama at Benihana. Yes!

Okay. Thank you. Can you imagine? You're welcome. Michelle Obama. If she wants to wear the hat, that's fine. We don't force her. Flipping shrimp into her hat. Flipping shrimp into her hat. Throwing eggs at men who get really scared of them and then get really puffed up that they weren't really scared about it. This I would watch. Okay. Carrie is on board. All right. Okay. Carrie's attached. I think all we needed was Michelle. Well, I wouldn't go that far, but...

When you say on board, I guess I'm a little confused. I'm not mad at it. Oh, okay. Oh, okay. That's a new category of attachment in Hollywood. Not mad at it? Not going to sue you. Okay, great. How about that? How about that? We'll print that. I'm actually going to hit all the trades with that. Carrie Kenny Silver not going to sue over no more drama with Michelle Obama idea. Okay. I mean, that's clickbait. Definitely. I mean, I guess I would click on that just to figure out what you were talking about. It's a lot of word jazz.

This is why you pay me. This is why you let me rent out an office. I'm paying you? Wait a second. He's getting paid? I had no idea. What do you think you're getting paid? We never talked about this. Oh, I just assumed. I mean, I'm looking up. Let me just look up the living minimum. What did the Beatles pay you? What did the Beatles pay me? Yeah. Oh, that was just, it was a mix of exposure and I got to talk to and pitch songs to Linda whenever I wanted.

Oh, okay. Did it ever work? Any of the songs end up on any of the Wings albums? I forget. Is there a song on any of the Wings albums called Let's Get Crazy? I actually don't know. If there is, that's me. That's you? What were you writing about? It's just like losing your minds with your friends sometimes. Wow, what a great topic. Yeah, right? How did it go? Like, let's get crazy!

Come on now, let's get crazy. You and me, Paul, let's get crazy. Everybody, let's get crazy. This is a hit. This is a hit song. Okay, well, if the Wings didn't take it, you can have it. I would love to record this. What about Cake Like? This would be a great debut album for you. What about your band Cake Like? Maybe they want to record it.

I think it's too advanced for us. Oh, okay. Just from what I'm hearing in the chorus, it sounds like a lot of syncopation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I could do this really well. I can redo it for you. I can redo it for you. Less syncopation. Less syncopation. And remember, I'm an alto.

That's a good catchphrase. Do you need a catchphrase? Remember, I'm an Alto. I would love to put up posters of you on bus stops. It just says, Kerry Kenny Silver, big picture of you. Remember, I'm an Alto. And then everyone would be like, what the fuck is going on here? I think this boosts your Emmy campaign. About every year, I change my headstone line. I think that may be my new one.

That is fascinating to me. I changed my, anytime a new photo of me comes out that I like, I announced to everyone within earshot that this is the photo that I would like played at the Emmys in my in memoriam when they find my foot in a river. And,

And then every year I have a new headstone. Up until today, it was people would take me more seriously if I wore eyeshadow. I can't wait to go to your headstone. I don't want to. We can go.

after this. Oh, really? You already have it out there? I like to just keep it up, get it ready. Okay, so it already exists and the engravers are having to go out there and redo it every single year? Every time. It's so pricey. Oh my gosh, wow. So pricey. It's worth it though. I mean, it will be someday. It's image, it's beautiful. It's for you, really. Just so you know, I've been taking photos of you since you said that because I'm hoping to get the next photo. Oh, that's not creepy. Do any of these work? No, no, it's the next photo. Oh, but these are under the table. Oh.

These are upskirts, Michael. That's bizarre. I'm not even wearing a skirt and you're looking up my skirt somehow. Okay, so you want me to airdrop them to you or what's the idea here? Michael, come on, man. Also, all the sketches that you did of me from the corner, not creepy at all. This is the new sketch of you. Oh, you're playing soccer in this one at least. Oh, look at me. Have you ever played soccer before? Eating a hot dog? I have a crazy mustache.

Look, Michael, I got to say, what was a casual conversation after your last appearance on the show about how we need a better booking process now turns into you're bothering my guests for hours at a time and I'm supposedly paying you? Oh, it's no bother. It's no bother. I mean, I love doing it. No, no, no. You can't say that on other people's behalf.

You're bothering them. No, I don't think so. The person who bothers shouldn't be able to say it's no bother. Truly, Scott, it is no bother. It's a nice conversation. And that's what, don't you think that's what we're missing these days? It's just a nice, real conversation with celebrities. And that's what I'm having on the phone with all your guests. I keep trying to get back to that on this show. And then it turns out to be stuff like this, stuff like you interrupting me. Well, no, no, no. I understand that. I got to cut off. I should cut all this out, right? All right.

I don't know why you would. I feel like you might get your Old Bay seasoning sponsorship if it was longer. All right, let me leave it in just for the Old Bay seasoning. They pay for time on a lot of YouTube and ad stuff. That's what I'm thinking. I just feel like I really fucked up today, Scott. I'm sorry, man. Yeah, I agree. I'm sorry, man. I do not forgive you.

If you don't mind, just give me like two months to find a new place to work out of like a WeWork or something like that. Did you almost say to stay? Have you been staying here in the studio? Well, you know, I don't, I guess, yeah, in a sense, yeah. In what sense? In physically? Like that my body and mind and all are here. Really, full circle, everything. My clothes, my dinner parties. You're having dinner parties in the studio? Well, yeah, I mean, you're not in it when I'm doing it.

No shit. Of course you haven't invited me. I would love to, but then you'd be mad that I'm having dinner parties in your studio. Do you understand? Well, now I know about them. Stop it. I don't want you living here. Okay. Two months. Give me two months. I'm so sorry, Carrie. I'm so sorry. I love you both. I think you do great work and I just want everyone to know about this interview and that's all I'm trying to do here.

All right, two months. Two months starting now, though. Okay. The end of bride month. Okay. Okay, so the end of og, oggy doggy, you're out of here. All right. Well, that's... So later... But that's going right into the school year. Okay, so what do we need to do? Wait, how does the school year affect you?

It's just I got a lot going on. All right, tell you what. All right, end of 2025, you're gone. Perfect, perfect. All right, December 31st, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Michael Lindsay Hogg is gone. But that's kind of a rough time because that's like New Year's resolution time. He's starting up his exercise routine for the year.

Yeah, it's tough on people. Tell you what, okay, once you start your exercise routine, how long do you need to start that up? March? Yeah, three months sounds about right because you don't want to go too hard too fast. It's about slow, 1% better every day. Can we say March 31st? Oh, but that's not a great time to find a new... But then you got April Fool's the next day. Oh, true. Yeah, all those pranks you planned. Yeah, I spend most of...

April or March planning my April Fool's. Most of April would be a little either late or way early. It's for next year. Yeah, you get ahead of the April Fool's because you have to be ready for the next April and then you're free. April 30? April 30, let's get dirty. I'll be out of here. Okay, we got a deal. April 30, let's get dirty. We'll always remember it that way. That's how we'll remember it. April 30, 2025. This is a handshake kind of thing, okay? Yeah, yeah. My man. Okay.

God, that was disgusting. I think I have some sort of like, some kind of like, what do you call that when you're... Viral infection? Yeah, that's what it is. Yeah. All right. Wait, viral? Oh. Did someone say viral? It worked! It worked! Yay! I get to stay!

All right. We have to take a break, Michael. You understand how this show works. Absolutely. We have to hear from our sponsor, Old Bay Seasoning. And when we come back, we're going to have more Kerry Kenny Silver. We're going to have a mom with a PSA. And Michael, you want to stick around?

Really? Sure, why not? He has nowhere to go. Yeah, you're going to be here until April 30. That's when we get dirty. That's how we remember it. Let's get dirty. Oh, this is a new song. Let's get dirty. Want to get dirty. April 30th is dirty. You might want to stick around. I feel like this is a Christina Aguilera song. No. All right, we're going to take a break. We'll be right back with more comedy. Bang, bang after this.

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Hey, everyone. Scott Aukerman here. Y'all know me. Still the same old G. Anyway, I've been low-key. In any case, I want to tell you about a podcast that I've been enjoying. It's the Lonely Island and Seth Meyers podcast. That's right. I mean, it's right there in the title. Who's involved in this and what it is. The Seth Meyers podcast.

The one from Late Night with Seth Meyers. Anyway, he sits down with his fellow SNL alums and comedy music sensations. The Lonely Island, our pals Andy Samberg, Akiva Schaffer, Jorma Taccone. And they discuss their wildly popular and groundbreaking series of SNL digital shorts that aired on SNL beginning in 2005. Along the way, they talk about everything.

Uh,

But man, I tell you that last episode where they're like, boy, this is how season two is going to go. I know. You know what I mean? So delicious. It's whetted my appetite. We can't talk about it. Well, maybe we can. I mean, I feel like everybody's seen it, but wouldn't it be a bummer if there's that one person? You're going to add any new new characters, another couple in there, like maybe a like a guy around the same age as you. White, tall. Hold on. What are you getting at? Terrible body. Hold on.

Hold on a second. I know a guy like this. Oh, wait. Hold on. Michael Ian Black. That's it. Yeah. I have 10 pasty white dudes I could choose from before we get to you. No offense. We also have Michael Lindsay Hogg is here. It's a pleasure. What were you doing? Why did I startle you so badly?

Sorry, I just thought I used to be on mic again. It's been a while. You're a guest on the show as a guest, as a real guest, not as an interrupter. It's social anxiety and the internet and with everything going on. What have you been doing since the 60s?

Did we cover this last episode? Yeah, I directed a lot of movies. I found out that Orson Welles is my father. Oh, that's right. And I've been just dealing with that. A lot of therapy, acupuncture. How much acupuncture are we talking? You say a lot. Three times a day, yeah. Three a day? Wow. Yeah. Well, the first, because I have three different acupuncturists and they all disagree with each other.

So they're canceling each other's pinpricks out? Yeah, they're kind of like in a war with each other through my body that I'm experiencing. You're so relaxed. Michael Lindsay Hogg is here. You know, every once in a while on this show, Carrie, and I hope you don't mind, this is the last thing we're doing during Bride Month, but every once in a while we like to give back. Oh, okay.

At Comedy Bang Bang, we care. Are you going to ask for a donation? I might. Yeah, why not? I'll give it. No questions asked. Here you go. Let me get my checkbook. Wow.

Wow, look at this checkbook. These are giant oversized novelty checks. Like you get at a store opening or a charity event. They fill up my whole backseat. These are even bigger than the normal ones. And I don't write them usually for more than like $7, but the size of the check really gets you excited. Yeah, this is for $7.99. Okay.

Thanks so much. You're welcome. Appreciate it, Carrie. But at Comedy Bang Bang, we care. And we have a mom here on the show. And she's going to give a very special PSA. Please welcome a mom. Thank you so much. You're welcome. Michael Carey Scott. I really appreciate you guys bringing me out here. That sounds like a great actor. Michael Carey Scott. Oh, guys. I'd watch him. We're on to something. Wow. Yeah. What if we... What if we...

like sort of Voltron ourselves. Yes. And me, we're one actor. Because right now, you're in a TV show. Yeah. Right? Yeah. You're not quite a movie star. Hold on. Let's back up. You're a movie director, but you haven't made anything for years. Right. And I'm a mom. Well, I wasn't saying you were part of the Voltron necessarily, but... And then me, I have no career to speak of. If we all combine forces...

Just imagine. Into Michael Carey Scott. Imagine us showing up as the big guest star grandpa on The Bear, where everyone's like, can you believe they got all the big names here? Yeah, remember when Ed Asner was on ER and he was... Oh my God. He was grouchy, but he struck up a friendship with Dr. Carter, and then it turned out that he was scamming him out of all this money. Anyway, Mom, hello. Ah, thank you. No, I...

It's so nice to be here. It really is. Scott, first, I'm a mom. I'm a wife, second. I'm a dog walker, third. I'm a shoe enthusiast, fourth. Where are you as a female? I'm getting there. I'll get there. I'm an avid American Idol watcher, fifth.

You're an avid American Idol watcher. Fifth. Fifth. I'm a woman. Sixth. Okay. I'm a part-time busboy at the Taste of the Caribbean on Santa Monica Boulevard. Okay, that's seventh? That's where I am. How many hours a week? Three to four. Three to four hours a week? It doesn't sound like they need you there. Is this a favor? It's a favor. I know the owners. Okay. I mean, I would hope so. You work there. I do. Did you know him before you worked there? Nope. Nope.

We became fast friends once I started working there. I'm a grandma hopeful ninth. Okay. Do you have kids? Yeah, you're a mother. I'm a mother. I'm a mother first. How old are your kids? I'm a wife second. My kids are 19 and 43. Oh, I have so many questions. Yeah. But really, what I'm trying to get at here is... 24 years in between kids. What was going on there? And you look so young. Same husband. Same husband.

First one was an accident. The kids have the same husband? Or you have them with the same husband? Kids have the same husband. How does that work? So your 19-year-old and your 43-year-old both are in like a throuple relationship with this guy? They are.

They are. Beautiful. I mean, hey, it's a modern world. Love is love. I'm not here to judge. Here's what I'm really getting at here is that the 14th thing on the list I am is I'm a lover. A lover. But this is new to me. I mean, it took you 24 years to have sex again. It did. It did. I wouldn't necessarily characterize yourself as a lover, but I guess you could be having recreational sex. It's new to me.

What's new to you, dear? I'm learning. So I'm here in Los Angeles to talk to as many people as I can about this because I just now learned about this. Carrie, I hope you know that women can also orgasm. Wait a second. Yes. Well, I mean, this is news to me. I did know this. I read about it. Okay.

But I wasn't going to fully buy into the concept until I met a real life in the flesh lady. What is this triggered by? Is this triggered by the male orgasm first? Well, that's what I thought. And that gets the woman so into it that... I was also reading these fiction books about women orgasming. And I thought it never happened to me. Just like, you know, aliens coming to the earth. Aliens have never come to the earth before.

To you. To you. To me. Okay. What about, I should go around the table. Michael? Aliens have never come around the earth to me. Okay. Carrie? Aliens have never come around the earth to me. Yes, that's right. Okay. Yeah, you have a quorum here. We've never seen aliens. No. But, and it sounds like none of you have ever seen a woman have the big O either. Well, I watched When Harry Met Sally. Yeah. But wasn't the whole point of that that she was...

Oh, I forgot that part. Oh, I thought you really liked the sandwich and that's why the woman wanted it. That's how it stuck in my mind too. Isn't it weird? This is like a Berenstain Bears kind of thing. Like I thought when Harry Met Sally was all about these two people who go and eat these really delicious sandwiches. Yeah. That is what it's about.

It's about. Yeah, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. If I recall, I told her I'm like cute sweaters. They're orgasming from yummy sandwiches. And the lady's like, I'll have what you're having. They're covered in mustard. The whole brought the cigar out again. Well, I use it as a punctuation. So how has this changed your life? I mean, you had you had one. How does it change? It's changed. It's changed my life for the better. I'll tell you that, Carrie, you really should.

Just think about it. Just look into it. Look into it. When you get home, though, please. What? Not on my way home? No.

I guess I mean not here in the studio. Hey, Siri. But you can do it on your way home if you want. Yes, Carrie. Wait, is that how you're Siri's? That's my Siri. I just activated my Siri. Hey, Siri. What would you like, Carrie? I'm wondering about, first of all, I want to stop and get a sandwich on my way home. Please give me the quickest route and tell me how to achieve this orgasm before I get there. Giving you directions to Eastside Italian Deli and your clitoris.

Turn. Well, I won't. What? Why did Siri stop? Siri just bailed. So, excuse me. I didn't want to give the actual directions, which I was about to do. No, please don't. Don't give away my assassination coordinates. But I,

I'm first time in L.A. This is very exciting to me. Where are you from? I'm originally from, I raised my family in Fitzmarket, Ohio. Fitzmarket, Ohio. I've heard of it. And then you moved after that? No, I still live out there. Why did you phrase it that way? I raised my family there and then you trailed off as if you were going to continue and say, but then we moved to... No, both my kids are now married to the same husband. So, you know, it's not really raising a family anymore. How do they meet their husband? Do they meet him individually or...

They did. My 43-year-old, she met him when she was grocery shopping at a Kroger down on Main Street. Okay. And what was he doing? Was he working there? Was he on his three hours a week? He was a part-time Kroger employee, big friends of the people who work there. And then my 19-year-old met him at their wedding.

Oh, okay. Well, that's convenient. That's romantic, I guess. I mean, you know, you go to a wedding and it's like you hear about hookups at the wedding. Did they hook up on the wedding night? They did. Wow. They did. He consummated it for both of them. Incredible. Incredible, incredible. Incredible story. It's really a love story for the ages. I love it. Because you always see when the woman catches the bridegroom. My youngest caught it. You always see the husband go.

That could be me. Wait. So when you're watching wedding videos...

And you see the bouquet. Usually it focuses on, the camera zooms in on whoever caught it. Right. But then it'll pan over to the husband and you see a recognition in the husband's eyes saying, this could be me marrying this person. Second wife, yeah. Every man thinks that. I think, you know, on your wedding day is, oh, okay. What if I had a second? The garter too, right? You zoom in on the woman and she goes, hmm. What does that garter, when you catch the garter, what does that represent? You have to have sex with the wife. Wait a second.

Have I been doing this all wrong? I don't know. Do you have a garter at your wedding? I'm wearing one now, but I didn't have one at my wedding. Something has to hold up my stockings. That's true. And those high-heeled shoes that you keep trotting out the door with. Oh, I'm a lady after all.

So this changed your life. It changed my life. And now I have this deep need to tell all the women, all the women everywhere. That it's possible. How did you achieve it, if you don't mind me asking? And, you know, we...

with as many details as you're comfortable with sharing. Keep it PG for our audience. PG-13, though, you can say fuck once, but not about actual, you know, the act of having sex. Was that the fuck? That was the only one? Yeah, shit. I used it. You can say shit, though. This is a special, just, I heard a special children's episode that you were doing. Just one podcast episode a year is for six to nine-year-olds. Oh, no, is that this one? Yeah. Shit. Yeah, but it's fine. Yeah. Okay.

Oh, okay. Well, so my husband, I wasn't even thinking about it. And I think that's the key is you don't want to take your mind off what you're doing. Exactly. So my husband, he's going downtown with his D-dong and I'm, my eyes are closed. What's the first D stand for? His D-dong. His, his, his devil's dong. His devil's dong. Okay. His devil's dog dong. When it's aroused, it becomes the devil's dong. Okay, got it.

So he's going downtown when I, now, first of all, not to interrupt again, but when I hear he's going downtown, I think of he's not doing it with his D-dong. He's going downtown in terms of an oral capacity. Also, you just mentioned Main Street, so I'm really confused. Yeah, these directions. Yeah, I don't know where I'm, where do I turn left?

It's okay. If you're not familiar with the Ohio area, just feel free to close your eyes and just enjoy. So he's going downtown. He's going downtown on his devil ding dong. On it. Anyway, go ahead. My eyes are closed because I'm just trying to focus on anything but that. Do you not enjoy sex? I do now. Okay. You did it this particular time. You're focusing on something else. I'm focusing on something else. And I imagine a woman walks into the room.

And the woman... Oh, here she comes. Yes, she just got off a big elephant outside. That's her snapping the garters. She's snapping both her garters. And she's... And that's her putting her... Takes the ball gag out of her mouth. And I'm like, take off the blindfold too, you know? And she... And then...

Suddenly it hits me. I say something overcomes me and I start feeling tingly. You were turned on at this moment because you're imagining a woman coming into the room and observing you. Do you think the observing was part of it or do you think maybe you're more sexually attracted to women? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

Oh, no, I don't think so. I don't think it's that at all. You don't think it's that? No. Can I ask you some questions about, you know, when you go out on the town. Go for it. And you see a very attractive woman walk into the establishment you're in. What goes through your mind? Well, my first thought is, well, you know, I'm a mom. I'm a mom first. I'm a wife second. Are you constantly cycling through your rankings? Because now I feel like you have OCD. Yeah.

No, it's just a quick little reminder. You're just looping through these. I am a mom, but when I walk into places, my first thought when I walk through a door is not, I'm a mom. Is it always the same first thought or is it different for which room you're walking into? It's never, I'm a mom. Usually I'm trying to figure out a second escape route. Wow. Just like Jack Reacher. That's what dads do. That's what dads do. I'm kind of a Reacher guy. So you're a Reacher first. I'm a Reacher first. You're a man second.

You're a podcaster third. I was in the room when Meredith Brooks wrote the song Bitch. Were you? And I feel like this is the process. What's that? What were you doing there? I was trying to pitch Meredith Brooks on a documentary about her first album because I knew it was going to be huge. I'm a bitch. I'm a lover. I'm a child. I'm a mother. But this is what it was. It was just a long list. Yeah.

And it was just kind of picking out which scanned with the song. Right, yeah. Because she's an equine enthusiast, but that just didn't work out with the song. Was that number one or two? It was up there? It was after Lover. Oh, okay. I'm a bitch. I'm a lover. I'm an equine enthusiast. She collects Hummel figurines. That didn't make it. That didn't make it. Too wordy. I fought hard for that. I said Meredith.

Right. This is relatable shit. This is relatable. Humble might sponsor this. I don't know if it's a person or a brand, but yeah. She should have listened to you. I wish she had mentioned that because I had that question when listening to it. I go, well, this is a nice song, but is she a... What does she collect? Exactly. Yeah. Hmm.

What does she do in her downtime? Is she sleeping? Is she collecting? I don't know. There should be a response song that's asking Meredith Brooks questions about what else she's doing. We sleep most of our lives. You know what I mean? That should be number one on the list. I'm a sleeper. Yeah.

I'm a sleeper. And I'm assuming she doesn't know how to swim because she didn't mention that she's a swimmer. Yeah. Don't throw her in a deep lake. I wish you had been in the room with me. They were making me sound like an idiot. I'm incensed the more I think about it. They would give me the meanest looks when I was like, well, people are going to ask if you're a swimmer. Mm-hmm.

They'd be like, all right, Michael, why don't you go get us lunch? And I was like, all right, that's fine. Were you an intern this day? I mean, you're getting lunch. Well, yeah, I wanted to direct a documentary out of it, but ultimately I was moving the boom arm of her microphone higher and lower. Were you living in the studio there too? I was working out of it. You were living there. I was doing my dinner for schmucks there. Wait, those are your dinner parties? Yes.

You have the dinner for schmucks parties? Yeah, I just, well, not anymore because I just found out recently I was always the schmuck. Oh. Can you believe that? You're a schmuck first. A director second. An unwitting schmuck first.

Anyway, I'm sorry. I do want because I think I'm learning here because I would like to be able to give my partners orgasms. Yeah. How did how do you say we should because Michael and I have never experienced it, but we'd love to give that to our partners. Are you with someone right now, Michael?

I think she left. I'm not interested. Anyway, we'd love to give our partners this experience. Yes. What techniques would you suggest that we use? I would suggest that you tell her to close her eyes. Okay. And tell her to think about anything else. Okay. And see who walks in that door in her mind.

And I have a feeling it's probably going to be a beautiful woman with long blonde hair. Long blonde hair? Okay. How long? Down to her ankles. Oh, like crystal gale? And it's braided, so when she unbraids it, it's even longer. Okay, this is too long. Now I'm not turned on anymore. Well, it's not for you, Scotch. Okay, okay.

This is what you're into? You're into someone with the longest hair? It sounds like a children's 70s television program. It sounds like it's something Fred Guinness would do. Longest hairstyle. I think you're getting a little confused about what I'm quote into. This isn't what I'm into. This is just what makes me orgasm. Okay. I'm into my husband. I love his... His D-Dong. His D-Dong.

And I'll do anything for that T-Dong. I mean, I believe her. Wow. I'm turned on. Also, this is what you're into. Now I am. Okay. You might be thinking about this on the drive home with Siri. I mean. Yes, Scott. Description of a T-Dong like that. I don't need you, Siri. Okay, Scott. Reminder.

You've got that ER screening later. Thank you, Siri. You're welcome, brother. Oh, put in a reminder, April 31st.

April 30th, we get dirty. Oh, exciting. I'll know what that means. Okay. On April 30th, we get dirty. No, I haven't heard that. No, April 30th, we get dirty. Never mind. I haven't heard that Siri voice, and you both have it. Yeah. It's new. It's with the Liquid interface on the new iPhone, the new iOS. Yeah. It's from the Liquid interface. Yeah. I'm from the Liquid interface. We all know exactly what I'm talking about. I got every word right. Okay.

um so so uh so all we have to say is when we get out our d-dongs close your eyes yes think of something else and think of someone walking into the room yes put yourself anywhere but here where were you by the way i was in my marriage bed right i mean physically but when you say put yourself anywhere but here like in your mind's eye where were you at this time i was at a hospital

Okay. I was in the hospital bed. Like an ER? Very sexy. Like an ER. I was thinking more of the pit. More of a... I haven't gotten to it. See, Scott, you've got to finish these to understand what she's talking about here. You've got to catch up. I was in a... I haven't even seen Landman. And there's some guy who comes on here talking about being a water man every once in a while. I have no idea what they're talking about. I'm a water man. He's a water man. My ears are burning. Hey, get out of here. No one likes you. And you've been on twice. Get out of here. Take it easy, my good man.

Wow, who was that? I can't even remember his name. Russ Saguaro. He's a water man. You just have so many people coming and going here. Look, it's an open door policy and it's been that way since the beginning. At some point I have to change it. If it ain't broke. That's a good point. Now, as a public service announcement, I remember these being like funded by the government. Yeah. As like, you know, for smoking or the state. Oh, I didn't know you guys funded those. Different state, but yeah. Yeah.

Or an organization, Mothers Against Drunk Driving, for instance. Are you against anything like that? I'm pro-orgasm. Okay, so mothers for... Orgasm. Orgasm. Mofos. Mofos. Mofos.

If anybody would like to join the mofos, we are taking submissions right now. It is a pretty intense process to join, though. I think you could make some real money in merchandising on these mofos. Yeah, exactly. What's the process of joining? Well, first, it's a lot of paperwork, unfortunately, because I go through each application. It's a very tight group that we are. You have to list who you are. I want the first 20s.

What's that? Oh, meaning the rankings of what we are first? Of what you are first. And then I go through them, and then I think about them, and I pray over them, and I close my eyes, and I throw a die, and whosever application the die lands on, I say, you are now a mofo. Can I just ask you, your eyes were closed while you were describing that, who are you picturing podcasting with in that moment? And who walked into the room?

Well, with my eyes closed, I imagine that... Is it Marc Maron? It's not. He's not going to be doing the show soon, so you've got to get him out of your mind. Oh, no, it's never a man. It's never a man. I was closing my eyes. I think it was a beautiful red-headed woman, and she was walking in that room, and she was covered in blue paint.

She had blue paint on her. A redheaded woman with blue paint? I think maybe... This is Mystique from the X-Men franchise. But she keeps disappearing on me. Have you ever seen that Smurf porn that went around for a while? It was like a Dutch... No. It's real. It's real. That maybe crossed my inbox at some point, but I didn't click on it. It's just something fun for people to Google for dessert.

after this podcast but it's real smurf porn go on is it uh because i never saw it is it animated or no no it's live action and they didn't have the best quality body paint it seems a lot of transfer oh the poor location scout probably had to do a lot of cleaning up after that yeah yeah so you're worth it though so you're into mystique

Rebecca Romijn or Jennifer Lawrence, either one. I don't know their names. Are you into her powers or are you just into her looks? I don't know, but she wasn't wearing a bra. Well, Mystique is famously naked in those films because she's a shapeshifter. And so when she shapeshifts into another character, her body forms the clothes that that character is wearing. Wow. No, it could have been. It could have been. But...

Sounds like I'm into her powers more than you. This isn't about... You don't need to orgasm. We already know... Do you mind if I think of Rebecca Romijn and Jennifer Lawrence naked in the Mystique paint while I orgasm? Scott, open your eyes, please. Open your eyes. Okay. But it's wonderful to have you on. Unfortunately, we're running out of time. We only have time for one final feature on the show, and that is, of course, a little something called plugs. ♪

oh

All right. Oh, nice and short, too. That was Gimme Dat by Levi Sines. Thank you so much to Levi Sines. And what are we plugging? Carrie, obviously, the four seasons. Ah, the four seasons on Netflix. Why not? Then you're going back into production in September. And that takes about three months, you were saying. It'll be back out again next year at the same time. At the same time. June. June of next year. How many seasons do you want to do this? Till I die.

Till you die. I mean, you asked me. How many do I think there will be? Probably not that many, but wouldn't that be great? It would be great if it could sort of coincide. You know what I mean? Yeah. The very last episode. I mean, I don't want to live forever, but I would like a few years. You have a heart attack on screen. Oh, and they use it. And they use it.

Oh, talk about a Peabody. There we go. Anything else in the can that you have coming up? Oh, some guest stuff. Uh, and then we've got the state documentary, which hopefully will be available to the masses soon. I would love to watch it. Um,

Well, this is I mean, the four seasons is enough. This is a major project. Yeah. It took months to film. I'm tired from it. Yeah, I would imagine. Yeah. And I love that you're coming here for Bride Month when it's your summer off. I wouldn't have come, but it is Bride Month. Yes. Thank you so much. And Michael Lindsay-Hogg, what are you plugging? Well, I want to just chime in on the state. I think you do a screening.

You all, the state, 600 undersized Samoans, all in the audience. We film it. We make a documentary about the documentary screening. It plays, Daddy. Yeah. This is the same idea you pitched the Beatles. And if it wasn't even good enough for the Beatles, why would the state do it? Although some people have called the state the Beatles of comedy. And why did I feel kind of good about myself that you called me Daddy? Yeah.

I was like, oh, well. I have told you, it works. I pitched for years and look at me where I am now. Look, you can pitch. It's like asking people out. Eventually you'll get one yes. You miss 100% of the pools you don't dive in. And you miss 99% of the shots that you take. Yeah.

It's true. We were shooting around right before this. Well, I plug that. Big Grande, Dan Lippert, Ryan Rosenberg, Drew Tarver, John Mackey are putting out a new series shortly. It's biggrandewebsite.com. You can listen to the Man Dog Pod, the Improv and Conversation podcast anywhere, and go to cbbworld.com for Eat, Pray, Dunk, the Bill Walton podcast, and Hey Randy. All right. Fantastic. And Mom, what would you like to plug? Yes, I'm

I'm an improviser. You're an improviser. I am. Have you read these books that Michael Lindsay Hogg has read? I have. My favorite is the Del Close one. And what was that called? It was called I'm a Man, Get Out of My Way. Guru.

I mean, that's a lot of people's improv styles. I really enjoyed that one. But I'm also on Herald Night. That's my number 11. I'm on Herald Night. I'm on a team called Cowboy Mama, and we perform every other Monday-ish at the UCB Theater on Franklin. In Los Angeles. In Los Angeles. I come all the way from Ohio. Or you can just live stream it.

Fantastic. And I want to plug, hey, you know, Michael Lindsay Hogg, he mentioned CBB World. Head on over there. You get ad-free new episodes of this show. You get the entire archive, all 900 and some odd episodes we've done, every live episode we've ever done. Plus new shows like my show Scott Hasn't Seen, where we watch movies I haven't seen before, which I'm shunting Gillian Jacobs off to.

We also have the neighborhood listen. We have college town. We have a CBB presents with, Hey Randy and who meet with the Batman. So much stuff over there. You really got to check it out. And it's very, very affordable. We keep the prices down for you. All right, let's close up the old plug bag. We all have, and they need some clothes in. We need these bags.

Because we're nosing that in these bags are lots of plugs. So just grab the piece of thread and tie it up real tight. And then... Up in the black bag with me! You're so stupid! Up in the black bag with me! Me!

Oh, wow. That was Teenage Plug Bag by Frank Burns. Is that the Frank Burns from that television show with all the doctors? The Pit. No. Is it called The Pit? No, I'm thinking of that other one, MASH. Oh, no. The original ER. The MASH, yes. Guys, I want to thank you so much. Carrie, pleasure to have you on the show finally. So good to be here. Thank you so much. I'm so sorry.

so sorry that your interview got interrupted by this guy. You know what? I kind of think it was for the better. It was meant to be. It was meant to be. In a way. I beg you for forgiveness. I'm begging for forgiveness. I beg you for forgiveness. It's not happening. Please forgive me. I feel like you have a humiliation kink or something like that. Let me close my eyes here. Who's walking in? Who's walking in? Oh my God, Dr. Manhattan. Dr. Manhattan.

Dr. Manhattan's walking in from Watchmen? He's another blue guy? He doesn't have red hair, though.

It would be a different thing if Dr. Manhattan had red hair, like just like a red curly hair. Everyone's, that's why he goes off and he's like, I don't understand these people. They're all bullying him for being a redhead. Because they're all making fun of his hair. All right. And mom, thank you so much for being here. And I, you know what? I hope you get another orgasm. I really think you got to just move into a relationship with a woman. Call us if you do. I think one is enough for a lifetime. That's a good point. Cool.

Could you end every guest interview with, I hope you get another orgasm? It's like, have a great day. This is what I hire you for. All right, pick up your paycheck on your way out, okay, Michael? Hell yeah. All right, we'll see you on April 30th, and we'll see everyone next week. Thanks, everyone. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

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