Hannah Einbinder, Carl Tart, Talia Tabin
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I see London. I see France. I see your house on Google Maps. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Thanks to Dick Michelob for that catchphrase submission. Dick Michelob. It's pretty catchy. Other than saying Google, Google is so hard to pronounce, isn't it? I'm going to talk to our guest of honor. Yeah. Try to say Google if you don't mind. Okay. Here I go.

Google. Yeah. Not bad. You really stress the L. Yeah. Google. But, you know, isolating Google is one thing. Saying it in a sentence, you know, it's like kind of... Say, I see London, I see France, I see your house on Google Maps. I see London, I see France, I see your house on Google Maps.

That is a Bachelor of Fine Arts for you. That's what it gets you. Absolutely. Well, we did some vocal warm-ups and exercises before we got on mic. Of course. So that's what that was for. What was your warm-up? Did you have to craft a warm-up? And I'll introduce you in a second. By all means. And what did you do in your warm-up? Did you speak the speech, I pray you, as it comes trippingly off the tongue?

I sort of would do Scott Ackerman. Scott. Scott. So even before you knew me, you knew to mispronounce my last name, first of all. Ackerman? Do your own research. Wait.

like i do with the vaccines okra man who's is how it's pronounced but that's okay we we know each other a bit uh socially uh we've been to one party together we went together even we went to one party at the same time had a 30 second interaction that you regretted from what i can tell and you don't remember which is pretty much the story of my life and by the way it's like there's a

There's a possibility that at one time I did know what the A was doing in your last name. But one thing you can guarantee with me is that I will forget. That's okay. I'm going to try to pronounce you. I actually was going over it this morning saying, do I have it right? By the way, because I am Einbinder, those things don't... Oh, Hannah's what's giving you trouble? Well, I can't tell if it was Hannah or Hannah. Wow. You'd be the first to be thrown by the first name, actually, which is impressive.

You're a trailblazer. Well, let's introduce you. She, of course, plays... I'm going to say Ava. Is it Ava? Ava. It's Ava. She plays Ava Voyager on the hit show Hacks. Ah!

which is returning to max. Is it on HBO proper as well? Or, you know, who could ever really know with these conglomerates these days, what comes out where, but it's returning for a fourth season on April 10th. Wet day. Of course, we'll talk about that.

Please welcome back to the show, Hannah Einbinder. Hello. Hello, friend. Hello. This is my third time on here. Welcome to the three-timers club. The three-timers club. Who's the highest number of times on here? I couldn't even tell you the highest number. All I can tell you is the more you're on, the worse your career seems to be doing. Big time.

Because the one-timers club is where you want to be. That's Paul Rudd. That's Ben Stiller. That's Childish Gambino himself. Then the more you're on, just the more available you are. Totally. Unfortunately. I have to be so honest with you. I really despise a podcast, but I just can't quit you. This one you love. I tell you, each time we reach out to your people...

And you have so many people. But each time we reach out to your people to see if you'd like to be on, I get back a response of, she's incredibly busy. I doubt this will work out. And then within 12 hours, you say yes, which I assume is coming from you personally, which is always very nice. Yes, of course, because I love it. And it's so fun. And you always have awesome, amazing people on. And I love to hang. Wonderful. Well, let's get to your career. Sure. And turn the spotlight away from me. That's a strong word for it, but...

Let's talk about, first of all, I mentioned Wet Day. Hacks comes out on Wet Day. And what is that? It's a holiday, of course. It's not national yet, but we're trying to make it...

It's April 10th. So it lands squarely on wet day. Is there going to be any sort of nod to that in the show? Are you going to be drenched at any point in the premiere? Wet day is a holiday for being moist? Yeah, where people get as wet as they can possibly be. And where's this coming from, I wonder? Well, Paula Tompkins and I created it maybe four years ago. And we celebrate it every year. Wet day? Yes, wet day. Hmm.

So I believe the reasoning behind it is people get drenched in practical jokes on April 1st, and then they have nine days to dry off, and then they want to be wet again. Oh, my God. I love that. You know, I will run it up the corporate ladder. Please. I'll see if we can do kind of an activation around that. That would be really great. Yes, do some reshoots, too, for the premiere. We'll go back, and we'll get a little nod in there. Yeah. That's great. Hacks this year.

Of course, we all saw season three where it ended with, what's her name? Deborah. Yeah. Doing the unthinkable and not giving you the job, but still keeping you on staff. Yeah. And then you turning around and blackmailing her after.

ass. Get her ass. Get her. Ava. Yeah. And you're now the head writer on her late night show. So I presume this season takes place within the late night wars. That's right. That's right. We're we've got cue cards. We've got ped cams. Cue card fans. You're covered. You are being served. OK. Representation matters and we are here for you. I mean the amount of cue cards in this fucking season. Really. Two. Two.

More. More? Three. A lot of, you know, we do some montages. I don't want to spoil anything, but the cue cards are heavily featured. You do montages. Really? So it's like... Your time is now. Debra giving the monologue and then cutting to the cue card guy just like... It's Ava going, no, no, no. We're going to change that because we had a rewrite on it. Oh, sorry. You got to make that bigger. You know, it's just like kind of, you know, cue card business. We got a lot of that. Did you have to do any research in like how to be a late night writer on this? Did you like shadow the writers at SNL for...

Oh, God, I didn't. Yeah. I didn't. Just pretty much read the lines. I did. Yeah. I would memorize the lines and say them aloud. That's kind of my. That's your stock and trade. Yeah. Yeah. If you're if you're hiring a Hanan binder. Yeah.

she's gonna read those lines you're gonna memorize them the day of or the day before oh i actually in all seriousness i actually do try to be off book for the the week the entire week i believe that we talked about this on your last appearance don't you try to kind of uh when you get the scripts for the entire season you just try to like i try to go through because you know what it's just you know the shooting schedule is pretty tough on my body i'm fragile really in what manner like you have to get up early the end or uh well i would

Well, you know, I'm there five days a week and typically the days are... Like a job? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is tough, obviously, on the spirit and soul as a, you know, capitalism hopefully is on its way out and that'll go with it. Thankfully, that would be so great where like you could just show up to your acting job and get the wage that everyone else gets. Yeah, of course. And stand in line for the bread on the weekends. Yes. Well, you know, it's 13 hours pretty much. That's the part that people don't know about is shooting...

There's this phrase that I came up with when it comes to shooting television and film. And it's hurry up and also wait. Yes. And it takes a long time. And you're sitting around and not just sitting around. If it's a fast moving crew, you're shooting a lot. How many pages you doing a day? Oh, my God. Who could even know? I mean, we're all over the place. We're episode three, episode four, episode six. So you block shoot.

Sometimes. Do you have different directors coming in at different points in the day because they're doing episodes? Or do you try... You know what I'm saying? Sometimes, but typically it's just Paul and Lucia. Oh, they're directing most of the season. They direct most of the season and then we'll have a guest director. Who's doing it this year? Martin Scorsese. I don't know if they've announced it yet, actually. Oh, really? Okay. I'd love to break it on this show. So go ahead. You would? Okay. Yeah. I don't know. Go ahead. Yeah, it's fine. Oh, okay. Okay.

Hannah is giving me the slashing her throat signal saying she can't do it. Apparently she should

She'll go against her people by being on this show, but that's as far as it goes. So does the entire season kind of take place in this? I mean, at this point, you started off as, in the series, you started off as a lowly comedy writer who couldn't get a job. And then now you're at the top of your profession. You're the head writer of a late night show. Is that just the first episode and then the show gets canceled? Or does the whole season take place? Yeah.

Well, yeah, there is an adversarial sort of dynamic at play between Ava and Deborah throughout a good chunk of the season. So that's... Because you guys have been adversaries in some seasons. You've been tighter than tight in others. And it looked like you were the tightest at the end of season three. And then she pulled the old switcheroo. She did. She absolutely betrayed me and...

and there will be big hell to pay. Really? And don't take the insecurity in my voice for any sort of that. It's going to be... Do you ever raise your voice to her? You know, I do, which is hard for me because I'm pretty much... You're pretty chill. Yeah, that's kind of my vibe. Mm-hmm. Callie. Callie running through my veins. Callie running... Speaking of which, I want to get to... We've talked about Hacks Enough. Yeah. It's out on April 10th. I want to talk about your Wikipedia page. Uh-oh. Um...

Because we have, of course, the aforementioned bachelor, or do you call it a bachelorette of fine arts when you've gotten it? How dare you? How fucking dare you? We have a website that I clicked on. Uh-oh. HannahEinbinder.com. Yeah. There is one section, home. And there are approximately four pictures on it.

I think, you know, back in my early days when I had a bunch of shows around town and touring dates, I needed a domain. And, you know, my dad was an early Apple nerd, and so he would go to Macworld and, you know, his email, I can't say it, but it's pretty simple. It's one of the simple at mac.com emails. Really? Like Jim at mac.com? I wouldn't go that far, but it's in that range. Because I'm not seeing his name on your...

Oh, here it is. Yes, I got it. He made that website for me very, very young. I mean, the pictures are gorgeous. Not that anyone's going to take HannahEinbinder.com. Make sure you reserve that. We also have, okay, so I'm going to skip down to personal life. Uh-oh. There's three things. Okay. No, sorry, four. Four things. Oh.

You reside in Los Angeles, California. That's a fact. And I hope to die here. Not specific enough for me. Yeah. Reside is a problem? No, reside is good because I love to hear that you reside somewhere, that you're not just living somewhere. I can't help but reside, actually. That's a problem. But Los Angeles is too big. Like, I need to narrow this down. Well, for my safety, I would hope that you wouldn't. Oh, okay. All right. I don't want anyone to know. Einbinder is bisexual. Yeah, for sure. It's too personal. That should be under, like, too personal.

I don't think so. I disagree. You think that should be out there? Yeah, let my freak flag fly. All right. You have ADHD. No doubt. No doubt. So all of these are ones about where you live, ones about your... How I live. How you live. And ones about what is in the way of you living. Ha ha!

And then I'm not sure if this is really equitable to the other three, but you are a longtime supporter of the Philadelphia Eagles. That is important. That's very important. So that belongs up there. This is actually a really incredible picture of kind of my vibe, I think. Tell me about the Super Bowl this year. What were you doing? Oh, my God. How excited were you? What was going on? Thank you for asking this question. No other podcast is going to ask you about this. No, they're not. And I'm here. This is why I say yes when they say don't do it.

I want to hear everything, by the way, like leading up to it, the anticipation. Oh, yeah. I've got a story for you. So my dad and I, there's a bar that we frequent in Santa Monica. By the way, can I interject one second? Yeah. Why do you like the Eagles so much? Well. Because you're from Los Angeles. I am. We've established that. You went to college. Your page says Chapman University in Orange County. Go Panthers. Mm-hmm. Do you want to? No.

Okay. Okay, some Chapman fans in the house. Some Panthers in the house. I went to a concert there once. You did? Go ahead. What did you see? I believe the Vandals played there. Oh. Punk band. Anyway, go ahead.

So my dad's from Philly, and my dad had a very strong connection to the Eagles through his father. And really, that's really all sports are, is just wanting to be near your dad and watching him go through a full specter of emotions. That's kind of what that's about. Because dads traditionally don't go through many emotions. Right.

Yeah, but this is a setting where, I mean, you just can't imagine. 2018, we did this, something similar to what we did this year when the Eagles won the Super Bowl. And my dad at one point was crying and did point to the sky and say, this one's for you, dad. So that is what happened. And that's true about what happened. And I think that that sums up why I'm invested. Yeah. So this is a way to connect to your father. I love that.

For sure. Do you guys go to games together or do you just, have you ever been to a game? Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Well, we grew up, we grew up, um, I grew up going, going to games in Philly. My dad's dad had season tickets and they've been passed down. They're kind of like, you know, high up there, but they've been passed down. Uh, and, and we don't live in Philly. So they went to, you know, my cousins over there. And so whenever we would go back, we would,

we would at the at the link Lincoln Financial. Sure. Yeah. You're like, I believe you. I have no choice but to believe you. Take your word for it. Bald face lying to me. Yeah. But but yeah. So so this year we went to our our favorite Eagles bar, which is a very strict, very

green only environment. Okay, so if you were to come in, I forget who they played this year, but, oh, Kansas City. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, the look on Taylor Swift's face when her man lost. You can see her calculating how much longer do I stay in this relationship. She's from Philly. She's from Philly. Yeah. What a traitorous. I know, I can't believe it. Traitorous. Yeah.

So if you were to come in in Kansas City colors, which I believe are red and maybe yellow or something to that effect, or like wielding a tomahawk. Why is that team still? I don't know. Who knows? Anyway, but if you were to come into that bar doing that, you would get what would happen? You can't come in. They wouldn't even allow you. You're turned away. Yes.

Wow. Yeah. OK. And this is in Los Angeles. Santa Monica, California. So there's a bar for like everything. Yeah. Yeah. OK. Eagles fans. A lot of a lot of Philly fans in California, especially because, you know, L.A., we don't we didn't have a sports football team for many years. So people had to kind of just pick. Right. Right. And so so so the bar opened at 10. We got there at eight.

Is there a line? There started a line when we got there. And we got there at 8. And to get in on Super Bowl Sunday, you had to have come two days prior to get passes. Oh, okay. It's a small bar. So let me ask you, the pass is guaranteed entry. Yes. So why come two hours early? To get a good seat? Good table. Good table. Got to get that good table upstairs. Is it just the two of you? Just the two of us. Okay, so you want a two-top. We want a two-top.

Well, we wanted to talk, but we're happy to make friends. And we always do. Let me tell you something. By the end of the night, I was in a group chat with a family. Okay. Okay. I heard their whole story. Okay. The girls are texting me. Okay. Three kids. They're all queer. Their dad was a pastor. He left the church because the church didn't accept his kids and moved him out to LA. What a great family. Let's be in a group chat. Yes. I love this. Text me. Here's my number.

This is how available you are to the people out there in these streets. 100%. So we line up at 8. We get in at 10. The game doesn't start until 3.30. Until 3.30.

Do you want to see the anthem? Look, you know, we get in there, we're seated, we're fucking exhausted already. We're just so weak. This is like a full day of shooting on hacks. No, I'm telling you. You know, first of all, it's grueling work for all involved. Well, first of all, to stand up in a line for two hours...

I don't even like that part of it. You know what I mean? I'm in a damn Eagles poncho. I've been pacing Santa Monica. Wait, was it raining that day? I can't recall. It wasn't raining. Okay. I want all the details. Yeah. Okay. It wasn't raining, but you know, we're by the beach, so we got that marine layer. There's a chill. Got it. There's a chill in the air. Okay. This is good intel. Crisp sea chill. Okay. And so we get in there and we're, you know, look, chicken fingers in the morning. That's what they got. I mean, I can't imagine they would serve any kind of breakfast food, so. No. No.

So chicken fingers, that's great. And you know, people start to trickle in. There's a table next to us. So there was no line. Nope. People are now trickling in. Well, here's the thing about my father and thus me. We are a

always prepared for battle kind of like the airport is a battleground. The bar is a battleground. Like we are planners and we are all right, look, we got to get there 645 like 645 early as that's my dad is super. That's my reco. You know, we get there 645. We spread out. Look, so we're early. I'd rather be early than late. We need to get that table because look the back support for a game like this. I mean, we were in it for the long haul. So what are we doing?

Is there a world where you could have breezed in at 3.30 and still gotten in and gotten an okay table? God, I wish this podcast was video. You should see the look I'm getting, Scott. You are befuddled by this question. You're aghast. You're horrified at the mere intimation that you would come that close to the game. 3.30? Yeah.

We're going to miss all the commentary. What are you thinking, Scott? Get your head in the fucking game. Was the commentary really worth it when you were watching? Like, was it good commentary? Of course! Did it prepare you? I want to watch both teams warm up. Right. I want to watch...

All the old footballers who are now the announcers do the tush push in the middle of New Orleans. I want to watch all of that. I need all of that. You know, I need I need the pregame. And and, you know, this game was really symbolically this game. And I have a theory about this. You know, the world has never been worse. Scott, I don't I don't have to tell you that we've I mean, there I think there are certain pockets of the world. I mean, you know, they only invented indoor plumbing.

you know, 100 or so years ago. Yes, but I would say that the issue of climate change has accelerated the state of the world to arguably have never been worse. But I think the years where the dinosaurs and the humans were there together right after Adam and Eve was there, those were probably bad for humans too. I would say they were. Okay, so let's say... The world is what, like 3,000 years old?

Let's talk after the pod. Okay. I want to talk to you about some stuff. I'd love to. I have some literature for you, too. Okay. Okay. Yeah, me too. Likewise. Okay, great. Likewise, same. We'll just point literature at each other. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That'll fix it. That's typically how it works, and that's how people grow. But yeah, so how did we get there? Anyway. Anyway. Culture, I think, is at a beautiful...

uh, point in response to how horrifying the world is. And, and frankly, you know, so many of the Kansas city chiefs players have let us down in this time, you know, the Kansas city chiefs players, uh, Patrick Mahomes, that's the quarterback. He was saying that he would, you know, be, uh, pleased to have president Trump come and watch him play football, you know, uh,

Travis Kelsey, frankly, said the same. And so this was spiritually, this game was, you know, symbolized kind of, kind of, look, this is a war of ideologies. Good over evil. Yeah, absolutely. And to you, the Philadelphia Eagles are good.

You're damn right. By the way, in 2018 and this year, during both of Trump's presidencies, the Philadelphia Eagles have declined to appear at the White House. I believe they agreed to go this time. No. I'm going to look this up. I hate to throw you off your game. No, you've got to look this up. I believe I saw a headline about that. Did you? Because I saw one that said that they declined to go.

That was early, but, well, I see one week ago, date for Philadelphia Eagles visit to White House after Super Bowl. No. What, L-I-X? What the fuck is this? 59? 59.

59. Yeah, 59. We're 10 away. What news source is this? This is CBS News, so I don't know whether I trust the lamestream media on this. Okay, well. What do we need to go to? The PhiladelphiaEagles.com? We need to go to call my dad and see what's up. Is there any universe where he's been keeping this information from you? Definitely. Yeah. I'm his baby girl. Yeah. He wants to protect me. He wants to protect you, of course, yes. Okay, well, that's really disappointing, and I don't stand with that. Maybe they're not all going.

I have to imagine they're not all gone. There's bad apples in every barrel. Of course. Look, the point is that they declined in 2018, which I'm stoked about. This I am disappointed about, and I will be reaching out to, you know, whoever I can. Sure. To prevent this from happening. Through HBO. Yes. Yes. Through Warner Brothers. I'll walk up the Max ladder and ring the bell. Yes. But the point is,

You know, this was a blowout. This was a blowout victory for the birds. The first three plays, weren't they like interceptions and running back for touchdown? I don't remember. It was ludicrous. It was a huge, wasn't it like 183 to nothing at one point?

Well, the final score, I believe, was 41 to 22. So close. Yeah. And that's really outrageous. Right. So it was a great... It was a trouncing. Yes. And you were there, were you like, I would imagine, a cheer...

came out of your lips at least once? Oh, I'm screaming. I'm absolutely sending out blood-curdling screams. I'm chest-bumping a man. I don't know. I'm swirling beads in the air. I'm cheering on someone's mom who's gotten on the pool table, who's kind of ripping her jersey off and twirling it around her head. I mean, it's mayhem. It's absolutely mayhem. I love this. And these are special times with your father. Absolutely. I love that. Undoubtedly.

Probably so. Now, do you agree with me? Yes. I was talking about this. I'm glad. I was talking about this on a previous episode where...

The part where the guy takes the football, this is at the start of each play. And then he's forced to like throw it through his legs while he's bending over. That's emasculating, right? He should just turn around and throw it to the quarterback, right? I think this brings up a larger question of what masculinity is to you, Scott. That's a good point. I think a sport where like it doesn't start until a guy just like

Yeah.

which I think is funny. Yeah. So it definitely is like a silly game. It's silly. And I think, I also think that the quarterback, if I were to change the rules, the quarterback should be,

throw to the end zone every play should be forced to. Yeah. Like all or nothing. Every single time. Okay. I mean, yeah, that's... That sounds like heresy to you. Yeah, I don't like it. You're shocked. You don't like it. You like the game as it is. I like plays. I like creative plays. I like a handoff. I like a little sneak. I like, you know, get the ball to Saquon. He's going to do a little bit of weaving. You know what I mean? I think it's okay to hand the ball off to someone as long as if they don't make it into the end zone...

then the game is forfeit. Okay. So yeah, it's just maybe not your, maybe you'll stick to like this sort of a thing. And I want to start my own league is what I'm saying. I need investors. Oh yeah. Yeah. Good luck. Good luck. Okay. I wish you luck. Thank you so much.

Well, Hacks, of course, is out on wet day. We all know what this means. We need to take a break. We have a great show coming up a little later. You're going to be very invested in this. We have a football coach is coming up next. Yes.

Oh, my God. We have a football coach. We also have a businesswoman or a businessperson. Oh, my God. Two people who make the world go round. This is exciting. This is a great episode of Comedy Bang Bang. I'm so happy you're here for it. We're going to be right back with more Hana and Binder. And we have a coach and we have a businesswoman. This is a great show. Stick around. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this.

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McDonald's breakfast comes first. Comedy Bang Bang, we are back. Of course, we're here with Hennie. Einbinder. Einbinder. Einbinder.

Of Hacks fame. Hacks is coming out on Wet Day, April 10th. And you also, you got to be on that Saturday Night Live show introducing the band, right? Didn't you? Did I see you there? Ladies and gentlemen, Jelly Roll. Yeah, I'm actually not of Hacks fame. I'm of Ladies and Gentlemen, Jelly Roll fame. Do you ever say that when you go out to breakfast? I'll say it in the mirror late at night. Ladies and gentlemen, Jelly Roll. Jelly Roll.

I don't know if you're a Jelly Roll fan or... I wish him well is how I feel. Yes, that's how I feel too. It's like, God bless whatever it is you do. Yeah. But do you ever wish that you could have gotten someone you really loved or... You know what I'm saying? Like where you... Or...

Do you wish that you got The Weeknd? And that way you could have been like Daniel Craig, you know, who's like every Friday people post him saying, Ladies and gentlemen, The Weeknd. Wow. Or perhaps Ladies and Gentlemen, Her. Her. Yes. You know, no, I actually want it to have been Jelly Roll, actually. It's always funny when someone...

is introducing a band that they would never like when when Patrick Stewart was there saying ladies and gentlemen salt and pepper was my favorite yeah that's a good one something they would never say anyway that's a wonderful thing to have happened it was cute yeah you should host next time you're sweet

I mean the next episode, whatever the next episode is. I'll go, I'll drive there now. Yeah. So what is it? A five day trip? Yeah, whatever. Drive there, go on there. Do that. Sure. No problem. Well, we need to get to our next guest. Uh, I mentioned he is a football coach. This is his second appearance. He's in the two timers club, which means his career is doing slightly better than Hannah's. Uh,

Let's welcome him back. He was a player for the Dallas Cowboys where he won eight Super Bowls. Please welcome Deion Sanders. Scott, let me ask you something. Let me tell you something, Scott. What's up? I don't know what you came to do, but I came to have some fun today. Okay, great. I thought you came to find dogs. And I came to do that, too. I was going to tell you that. I came to clap my hands. I came to stomp my feet.

And I came to find some dogs. Because I need dogs, Scott. You haven't done any of the three at this point. I see some dogs in here, Scott. Hannah, are you a dog? Did you hear our first segment? Hannah was talking a lot about football. Scott, I heard a little bit of it. So you didn't like saying, ladies and gentlemen, Jelly Roll.

I did actually, I think. You did like doing that. I think her boy was, it was great. Yeah, I did. I kind of liked it. I think you have the exact wrong takeaway. You know what you should have said? What? Ladies and gentlemen, Shaboosie. Oh my God, wouldn't have that been fabulous. Deion Sanders is a big fan of Shaboosie. Oh, I love Shaboosie. Shout out Shaboosie, man. That's my dog. Can I tell you actually, and this is serious.

Mr. Sanders. Call me Mr. Sanders. Okay, no problem. And you join a long line of Mr. Sanders's that I just frankly love. Sure, the colonel? Although you would call him colonel. I would probably put Bernie before the colonel. They're equitable to me. Old guys, white hair. White suits. No black ribbon ties.

Shabuzy actually, his first music video, when I was in college, a bunch of kids at my film school produced it. And I was the girl in his first music video. You're kidding! You're in the first Shabuzy video? Yes! This is huge news! It was taken down because he illegally sampled something that he didn't have the rights to. And so it was taken down. But we saw each other recently at a party and we were like, ah!

Really? You saw Shabuzy at a party? You were the first Shabuzy video vixen. That's right. Wowee. Look at him. What did he do, this guy? What did you just say? I said, what'd he do? What'd he do? Yes. I'm talking about Colonel Sanders in the sky. Of course. You like those seven spices? Seven? Seven plus five? No, seven plus four?

Is it 11? Really? It's 11 original herbs and spices. Really? Did it start out as 11 or did he add four at a certain point? Wait, am I wrong? I have no idea. And can we, while we're at it, discuss how many are in Dr. Pepper? Because I know that that's also sort of a 56. 23. 23. And that's prunes, right? It starts off with prunes. Are you serious? I think it's the only prune soda. You're kidding me. Prunes keep you regular. Make sure you eat your prunes, Hannah.

- Okay. - In KFC. How many spices, 11 herbs. - 11! - Maybe I'm just thinking of the spice number because this is 11 herbs and spices. So I wasn't wrong. - Sure. - Let's name them in order of importance. Salt. - They keep them very, salt. It's gotta be salt. - Pepper. - That's the majority. - Garlic. - Garlic. - Paprika. - Paprika. Onion. - Onion. - Cardamom. - Cardamom. - Cardamom. - Crosby, Stills, Nash. - Hall, Oates.

Dion, I'm sorry, Coach Sanders or Colonel Sanders, which do you prefer? Please, call me Mr. Sanders. Mr. Sanders. Last time you were on, you were talking about you coach a college football team that you're sorry about. Colorado Buffaloes, we coming, Scott. I need dogs. You do need some dogs because you were saying your son is leaving the team. He's leaving the team. He's going to the NFL. Who's he playing for? We don't know yet.

Congrats. Do you hope he plays for the Philadelphia Eagles? I do not, Scott. Who do you hope he plays for? I hope he plays for New Orleans Saints, Scott. I like that city, New Orleans, Scott. Okay, but what about the Dallas Cowboys? Because that's where you made your fame and fortune. Yeah.

Not necessarily. Wasn't there some sort of rumor that you were going to go coach at Dallas? Scott, there's a lot of rumors. Look at all these rumors surrounding me every day. I just need some time. Some time to get away. Some time to make social club. What do you do for you, Mr. Sanders? What do I do for me? I'll tell you, Anna. I watch a lot of television. And that's what I wanted to talk to Scott about today. Scott. Oh, okay. Great. You've seen the show Emily in Paris. Yes.

Do you mean Emily in Paris? Yeah, whatever you want to call it. It's supposed to rhyme, I believe. Emily in Paris. You seen that, Scott? I have to confess I have not. I'm a big fan of Lily Collins' father, which doesn't help. I mean, Hannah, you, of course, nepo baby, a poster child. Am I? I think so. Okay.

I mean, your mother worked for Saturday Night Live. You said, ladies and gentlemen, Jelly Roll. Yeah, that is the ratio of power, actually. That's like, that is actually representative. That's how much transferred down to you. Yeah, of what, of my poll. But Lily Collins, of course, big fan of her father, Phil Collins. Her father, Macaulay Coggins. Yeah.

That's Phil Collins' daughter. That's Phil Collins' daughter. Man, I can feel that in the air tonight. Okay. I did not know that, Scott. You just put me on something, man. It's Timex Social Club. Look at all this air surrounding me every night. I can feel it. So you're a big fan of Emily in Paris? Man, come on, Scott. She got that damn beret on her head. I was like, girl, what you doing in Paris?

Come back over here because I need dogs. Is that the first scene? Wait, you want her to come back here because you need dogs? Come back to America because I need some dogs. And I can see how you're wearing that beret in Paris and you a dog.

Shout out Jelly Roll, man. I don't even know what the... She's American and goes over there and then lives there? I mean, how is this the plot to a show? She American. She American fashion writer, you know? Okay. She writes for fashion. What's she do? She don't do that? Who knows? It's all speculation. She do something and they take over the parents to do it over there.

Is this what shows are now? Hacks. This is a good idea for a show. Thank you. A stand-up comedian who, I don't know, go into the details. Can I suggest a name change to Hacks? Let's call it Dogs. Yes. Honestly, that's an apt suggestion. Ladies and gentlemen, once again, Jelly Roll. Couple dogs right there.

That was a good episode right there, Scott. Yeah. Jean Smart and Jelly Roll. The two J's. I love that. They should do more stuff. You and Shaboosie. Jean Smart, Jelly Roll. Yeah. This is like a good foursome. This is a music festival in Tucson. Yes. This is what South by Southwest needs to evolve into. Yeah. They're coming there. Second weekend, of course. And they added luggage fees. Is that so? Bags don't fly free no more in South by Southwest. I tell you that much.

Any other shows you're watching? Yeah, Scott. Come on now. You ever heard of Fabulous Miss Maisel? There's a show about comedy too. Y'all should check that one out. Yeah. Hacks is sort of the spiritual successor, right? To the Fabulous Mrs. Maisel. Oh, certainly. Oh, undoubtedly. She paved the way. Mrs. Maisel walked. So Brent, what's her name? So Debra Vance. Debra Vance could run. Could drive a golf cart. A lot of golf carts in your show. You're right. Yeah.

Yeah, there was that episode last season. Golf. Did you get busy with, who was it? Oh, you get busy on the show? I did, yeah. Oh, this season is really. You have more sexual interactions on the show? It's true. Oh, I love this. Yeah. Who was it the last time? It was Christina Hendricks. Christina Hendricks from Mad Men. Yeah, this is my last life for sure. I'm not coming back. Two redheads. Yeah, that's what they say. Yeah, exciting. Now, was there an intimacy coordinator for that? There was. Because I would like to apply for the job. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

You can do this on the side, right? Intimacy coordinator. By the way, you have as much qualifications as most to be so frank. All right now. Okay.

Don't nobody be touching nobody when they don't want to be touched. You got that? You ask for every touch. In the scene. In the scene. We're going to do a little improv. That's what people doing love scenes love to hear is we're going to do a little improv. We're going to do a little improv. We're going to do a little improv. Okay, robes off, girls. Robes off, ladies. Let's go. Robes off. Somebody grab that baby all over there.

Don't nobody touch nobody when they don't want to be touched. You got that? This is good. Action. That's the extent of it. Can I say action? This is a good job. Do you only want to do it for Christina Hendricks and Hannah here? Don't make me a creep. I'm going to do it for a lot of people. Emily and Paris.

Whenever he's needed, he'll be there. That's right. We'll just shine the Deion Sanders signal. Just in the shape of a dog. And a dog. Uh-oh. Somebody needs some intimacy coordination. This needs to turn into a cartoon.

What other TV shows you been watching? Oh man, that fabulous Miss Maisel. Emily in Paris. You watch that show The Pit? I have not seen The Pit. I thought it was about Brad Pitt for a while. I thought it was about dogs.

So we were both wrong, though. It turns out it's Noah Wiley in what I'm hearing from the lawsuits was originally intended to be an ER reboot. Yeah. And then segued into nothing to do with ER at all once they couldn't get the right. It's about a hospital, man. Them doctors is dogs in there.

They're healing people, Scott. Because in today's world, we need healing. Yes. We need hospitals. Yes. Scott, do you believe in universal health care? I don't know that my views on it would be earth-shattering at all, so why don't we just ask your views? I believe in universal health care, international health care, intergalactic health care. Intergalactic. You see these people come back from Earth? Yes. I mean, come back to Earth? Yes. Yes.

Like the people trapped up in the NASA space station and all that. Nine months, they finally home. Yeah. Bring our dogs home. Their muscle tone is withered. Yeah. They're emaciated. Well,

We'll put them on a meal plan, get them back right. Yeah. And they'll be ready for next season. And this is part of universal intergalactic health care to you. Mm-hmm. What were you saying, hon? Well, I was just... Thank you, scat. Well, I was just saying that they may be puppies now, but when we're through... They're going to be dogs. That's right. You already know what I'm talking about. I like you. Are you trying to get into acting? I mean... Who? You, Dion. I'm not talking... Hannah's already there. I done been to some stuff.

Yeah, where were you at? On an episode of Living Single. Playing yourself? Playing myself, man. Okay, that doesn't count. Playing yourself doesn't count. Yeah, I was a heightened version of myself. A la Curb Your Enthusiasm?

What else? Have you ever played a character? Me. I am talking to you right now. I played me. Oh, you played you. Some people consider me a character. Yeah. I think it's hard when you have a body like yours and you're so tall and so big. It was the problem The Rock had for a long time and the problem Kumail has now. Yeah, too sexy.

Too sexy. Too damn sexy for television. Yeah, that's the thing. You can't play like a normal schlub. Like Hannah over here, she's playing like a comedy writer who can't get work. I can't imagine Deion Sanders here believing that from you. Because I would just say, oh, just go play football. You know what? I could play a comedy writer on television. For sure. Let's improvise a scene as comedy writers. Oh, great.

Hey, did you get the rewrites for the monologue tonight? I got the rewrites. All right? I got the rewrites, but what I need to know is what we having for lunch today. Oh, we... Yeah, I think it's sweet... I don't want no more salad. Okay, well, I was going to say I think it's sweet green, but I... Again...

Yeah, I just... We have a deadline, so I was just wondering if you... We always eat sweet green. Yeah. I want barbecue. We could... I mean, I guess we could look into that, but I just... Yeah, I think maybe... Do you know if there's going to be a chance for you to look at the rewrites? I got them. They on my desk. Oh, okay, great. But I want some barbecue. Okay, I'm just going to stop it right here. First of all, sub in Al Wazir, and this is exactly Mr. Show every single day. But...

Dion, you're in a position of power, it seems, over Hannah's character. No, she's my boss. I think he's an eccentric employee. I see. But why do you need him to check the rewrites, then? Because I assign them to him. For him to check them? What is he doing with these rewrites? Yeah, he's sort of punching them up. Punching them up. You've got to continue to see. He's got to say action. Okay, action. Okay.

Did you get a chance to punch up the rewrites that I sent you? Hey, what are you and Christina Hendricks doing tonight? All right. Cut, cut, cut. Okay. I don't know.

It is pretty much like being in a writer's room, to be honest. That's the accuracy. We got Sweetgreen. We got harassment. We got somebody doing their job wrong. We got it all. 99% accuracy. I haven't gotten to the rewrites yet. I want to talk about the rewrites. Okay. You want to talk about the rewrites? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

Okay, so yeah, for the monologue, I was thinking that perhaps we went in a different direction away from talking about, you know, the story with the Swiss banks, just because I think that a lot of people are going to be covering that. So I was just wondering if you had anything, anything there, or maybe perhaps a pitch on a different topic that could be kind of more international. Absolutely. I do have that more international. Yeah. International health care.

I want to talk about that. Okay. Yeah. Swiss banks is in Switzerland. Right. Interpol is in Sweden. Okay. Okay. You picking up where I'm putting down? I'll take your word for it. All right. Is the barbecue almost here yet? Hey, excuse me. I hate to interrupt, but the show goes live in 30 seconds. Do we have the rewrites or, you know, we need to switch it to the international, you know,

Do we have any of this? Oh, um, we... By the way, I'm just a PA. Oh, okay. Um, I do... We do. We do. Who's in charge here? I can't quite figure it out. How can you not tell who is in charge? Clearly, this woman is my boss. You seem subservient to him. Yeah, I just... But maybe it's just your tone? Yeah. I don't know. Well, you know... Tell him you're my boss. Tell him you're my boss. Okay, well, I'm... Speak up!

Sorry. I'm his... We collaborate. I'm his... You collaborate? Yeah, well, I just... Are you in a position of power here? Is Christina Hendricks coming to the show tonight? I'm really scared. She's hosting. And I just feel like we're going to be live soon.

We're on! We're on! Ladies and gentlemen, shaboos. Great scene. Wow. Okay, yeah, I think this is good. I think it's great. Can you guys tell? I think Dion could be on Hacks. A hundred percent. Just playing a normal comedy writer. Who's very concerned with eating barbecue.

Like all comedy writers. You got to have good lunch. All right, well, let's get Dion on Hacks. We need to start a hashtag, Dion on Hacks. We're going to take a break. When we come back, we have a business person. This is very exciting. Dion, can you stick around? Scott, I got to go. You got to go? No, come on. Stick around, please. All right, I'll stay. All right. We're going to come right back. We'll have more Hannah Einbinder, more Dion Sanders, and a businesswoman. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this. Parents, when you visit California, childhood rules.

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Comedy Bang Bang, we're back. We have Hannah Einbinder here of Hacks, which of course I get a Google alert every day for Hacks because I'm wondering if I'm popping up on the latest list of Hollywood Hacks. Oh my God. But it starts the fourth season on Wet Day, which is a Thursday this year. Wet Day falls on a Thursday. Oh, shoot. Damn it.

What's going on in your head? You're going to be too wet on Friday? You're drying off? You just like to be wet on a weekend is all. Yeah, that's a good point. You'd like to, if you were to be wet, you'd like for it to be on the weekend. Those holidays that fall on the weekends, though, then it feels like you're getting ripped off because, you know, like when Fourth of July is on a weekend, you're like, I really would rather this be on Monday or Friday so I get a three-day weekend. Yeah, but I mean, has wet day...

broken through in that way. It's not officially recognized, but it's storming the nation. Pun intended! Okay. In storm. We also have Deion Sanders here, who... Ladies and gentlemen, wet on the weekend. We need to get to our next guest. This is exciting. They're joining the incredible One Timers Club. Please welcome to the show, they're a businesswoman. Please welcome Abby Spott.

Hi. Hi. Wow. I don't normally do this kind of thing, but I'm so happy. I'm really happy to be here. I feel just like an immediate connection with you, Mr. Sanders. Oh, right now. I'm just really picking up what you're putting down. Oh, okay. Well, it's great to have you. When you say you don't normally do this kind of thing, what do you mean? So I'm a psychic, but I'm sorry. I thought you were a businesswoman. Well, I'm looking for clients. Oh.

Oh, okay. So I'm really here to promote my business. An unsuccessful businesswoman. No, I wouldn't say that. I wouldn't say that. Do you currently have clients? Not one client, but I'm looking for clients. You're a future businesswoman. I'm a future... Listen, I'm... Do you have an LLC? No.

I don't have an LLC. Here's the thing with me. I'm so uncomfortable in this chair. You're uncomfortable in this chair? Yeah, I'm so uncomfortable in this chair. I wish that I could, like, I don't know, be under the table or around your feet because I guess it's...

Now, let me just tell you, I'm a little unusual just because for the past 11 lives, I've been a dog. And this is my first year. I need dogs. This is my first life as a human. As a human. Oh, my gosh. Congratulations. So I'm mostly a pet psychic, but I can also read people too. But I just...

It's different. Yeah. Things are different. Do you remember or recall being a dog? Honestly, that's mostly what I remember. Really? Yeah. I'm having a little bit of trouble transitioning as a human. Yeah. What kind of dog were you in your past? 11, you say? Uh-huh. Oh, that's the number of herbs and spices that KFC has. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. I've had taste of that. Oh, really? Yeah. That's a lucky dog. That's a true. A lucky dog. Or a clumsy owner. I...

I just was so attached to this idea of intimacy coordinator. Oh, really? So was Dion. You guys are so bonkers up here. I mean, like, on this level, because I'm telling you, the asshole is really where all the data is. Yeah, that's where, I mean, also the pee, from what I understand. Because dogs, when they go on their walks, they smell other dogs' pee. Absolutely.

To learn information about them. It's sort of like the gossip magazine. It's like TMZ for dogs. 100%. And so it's really uncomfortable when everybody closes the door. Yeah. Because I feel like I'm just missing so much information. I don't really know how to, you know, this is not about me as a human. You know, I want to read. I want to give you guys all a reading and really like get to know you. But to be honest.

The psychic part of it is interesting. You could read us or whatever. I'm fascinated by learning what it's like to be a dog. Yeah. I need dogs. Oh, yeah. You're a human now, so therefore you are useless to me. What kind of dogs are you talking about? Dogs, man. This guy was a dog in another life. You have to be Dion. I mean, come on now.

This life too. You're still in me. But the rules, the human rules of consent and all that, dogs don't have that. They just take what they want. No, I mean, kids now are like eating ass. We've been eating ass for years. We've mentioned it. I don't know. It's like I'm not impressed.

But I am a little uncomfortable with so much arm skin and leg skin. It's like putting on a coat. Yeah, yeah. You're cold. I put on a coat. It's cold. It's just like it feels a little vulgar. Yeah. Yeah. Is that the main difference is the amount of arm skin? Well, leg too. Leg too. Yeah. I mean, that's the other thing. You have arms now. I do have arms. I do have arms. Instead of four legs. What is that like?

It's a little clumsy, but listen, I'm not a dog. I'm sorry. If I'm coming off crazy, I'm not a dog. I'm a woman. Obviously, I was reincarnated as a human. Sure, yeah. How old of a woman are you currently? Well, I'm 30, but I feel like 210. You feel four, probably, four and a half. Because in seven years, dog years. Got you a fool. Thanks, Ian. Listen, I don't do math.

More of an instinctual. Yeah. I gravitate. Dogs don't do math, right? No. They want all of everything, right? It's not like, oh, there's two chicken breasts. No, I want all of this. Infinite. No. I teach my dog portion control. Is that so? How do you do that? You just kind of lay it out? I don't know. That's all you're getting. Be satisfied. Oh, so you're determining the portions. You're not just putting out a large tin of something and they're deciding how much they eat.

That's not really teaching them anything. Now, in terms of just because, you know, there was a business proposal brought up in terms of investing. Yeah. I'm curious. I also have my business proposal, which you did not choose to invest in my different league for football. Hannah seems pretty interested in my idea. I don't remember, but I think it's possible. It was merely 40 minutes ago. Yeah. It's tough for me. Scott, do you have cats? When you live in the moment. I do not.

I do not have cats. Don't worry. I'm getting a cat vibe from you. Maybe I was a cat in a different life. I mean, people worshipped cats back in ancient Egypt. Well, they had dogs sleep in their bed. I don't know whether... Dion, do you have previous lives? I've never really investigated. You know what? I ain't investigated either. I mind the business that pays me. So I don't know what I was doing back then, but I hope it was good. Oh, I can tell it was good.

Oh, okay. Yeah, what are you seeing with Dion? Oh, my God. I'm seeing a king. Read me. Read me to Phil. I'm seeing some sort of big, big tree. I'm seeing a king. Wait, he was a tree or he? I'm seeing he peed on a tree. Oh, okay. That's a dog. A big tree. That's cool. I'm seeing a lot of fancy collars. I'm seeing a lot of bling. Was I a Rockwilder?

Please tell me I was a rock wilder. I think you were a great thing. Please tell me I was a rocker fella. Rock nation. I feel like I'm being a little vulgar and I'm not trying to be, but I'm having a hard time dating.

I don't think that's vulgar at all. Actually, you didn't say a curse word? I don't know if that's disgusting or not. Listen, when I was a dog, nobody just comes out and shows you their Red Rocket. And so I don't know who's interested. You were always a female dog?

My last two. Oh, so your previous nine, you had the Red Rocket. Yeah. Easy to show, easy to receive, easy to know. Right. Yeah, I mean, honestly, it's hard. I think that's the other thing. If people acted more like dogs, dating would be easier. That's how I feel. Yeah. And that's why I think my perspective on your lives could help so much. I think a dog... Oh, I changed my business.

I changed my business. You changed your... Wait, this is unprecedented. You're changing your business in the middle of your segment? You know what? I think this is where I would shine. I want to be a dog...

dating advice service. Dog dating advice service. So you're giving advice to humans who want to date dogs? No. Okay, I've got this completely wrong. The way that dog... I use my knowledge of being a dog to help you guys date. So you're giving advice to humans who want to date other humans, but do it

With the philosophy of a dog. I love this. Hannah, are you out there in these streets? I'm single. You're single? This is perfect. Now we know you were a plant, you were a dog, you were a cat. That answer sounded like, Scott, you about to get her in trouble. I'm single, but there's certainly a woman I'll be getting angry phone calls from after she hears this.

So this is good. This is really good. So what kind of advice would you give to Hannah who's out there in these streets night after night searching for someone, anyone to love her? Lay it on thick, will ya? Okay, so first off, we gotta start sniffing each other. Okay.

Do you do that, Hannah, when you're out there on a date? Oh, sense memory is very important. Sense memory. Yeah, well, the nose is a direct channel to the brain. Of course. Occasionally you'll smell an aroma that will take you back decades even to something that happened to you as a young child. Absolutely. And the heart is a direct channel to the stomach. And the eyes are a window to the soul. And the tongue.

Lick stuff. You lick yourself with it. Yeah. So the first thing would be to smell. So first thing to smell. Okay. Then I would go up. I think for most people, it's all about the asshole.

That's where the data is. We've talked about that. Is this first date, though? I mean, I know it is for dogs, but is this first date behavior? Yeah, this is first date alone, obviously. Can the asshole be symbolic? Is there a way to kind of explore that in a way that isn't as direct? You know what I mean? Sure. Is there a way? The mouth. I guess you could. The asshole of the face. The asshole of the face. Exactly. Sort of a reverse asshole. So I guess kissing. Sometimes you're bursting. A whole ass, we call it.

It is. Can I just really quickly break in to say you're telling me we have a big hole in our head and we put food in it. It's crazy when you think about it. Don't like that's really great. And shouldn't it come out the same hole like just for no like not sanity sanitary purposes.

You know what I mean? Instead of just gotta go all the way down through our body and travel around and then go out a different hole. It's just, you're telling me we're putting Doritos in the face hole? And in what way was that ever the plan for us? I know. It's driving me crazy and I'm really trying to keep my sedative. Ha ha ha!

So I just are so consumed with that though. Yeah, I don't think you should be as concerned about that We don't give a shit about what they're putting in their mouth. They eat shit. Yeah, throw up and we'll eat it right back up. Oh Oh dogs, but also Do you think she boozy does that? There's no way she moves to keep that mouth clean. I gotta know what you did in that music video. Oh

Were you rolling around on a car? You know what? He was in a fun 70s production designed school bus and he was a rock star and I was a journalist. A journalist? Did you ever like take off your glasses and shake your hair out? And I was like putting the mic towards him and writing stuff down, but I was being like hot about it.

about it. Wow. Yeah. And he was like, I'm Robert Plant. I gotta check this out. I'm writing about you. This is incredible. And you saw him at a party and he remembered you. I love this. I couldn't believe it. I said, do you remember me? She knows that you remember me. And he said, of course.

- I remember you. - Oh, I love this for Shaboosie. - And he gave me a big hug. He's so wonderful. - Shout out Shaboosie, man. - Shout out Shaboosie, man. - I've been trying to tell you. - You were trying to tell me on the last episode, shout out Shaboosie. - Thank you. - I wouldn't listen. - You still didn't listen? - And this is a musician? - Yeah. - Yes. - How do y'all not know who Shaboosie is, man? - I mean, I know who Shaboosie is, I just didn't listen. - He transcends music. - Zero time Grammy award winner, Shaboosie.

That's right. You were on right before the Grammys the day after the Grammys. You thought he was going to sweep. The episode came out. We recorded it a month before the Grammys. You were predicting a sweep. He ended up with zero. What did Shabuzy smell like? Did he smell good? Opportunity. Possibility. Yes. You know what I mean. The future. Hope. Success. See, I just don't know that

society is going to allow us to go out on first dates and immediately take our pants down and smell each other's assholes. Scott, I hear you. That's why I changed it to mouth and kiss. Okay, so I don't... Listen, I'm flexible. I'm going to amend this. I don't know that society these days will even allow you to just...

kiss a person that you're on a date with without their consent right away. Oh my God. Dogs just read consent. I know. That's the thing. Feel it. All the talky, talky, talky. See, I think dogs give, uh, uh, implied consent all the time. You know, it's like tacit consent. And I think humans would be better off if we just consented to let,

whoever do whatever they want to do. A little Esther Reeder in the face hole, a little more pheromones communicating. Thank you. Thank you. Wow. You guys have helped me really streamline this business. I don't know that it's streamlined necessarily. I think we are on fire.

Yeah. I don't know about you guys. Yeah. This is really, really working for me and I'm excited. I'm ignited. I love this. So do you need to change your website? Hannah's father could probably- I would love to get his email. Use mine. I'm not using it. That would be great. I'm really not. I would love to keep the domain name. Hannah, I'm by your and abbiespot.com. Yeah. Well, that's something. It's going to be cspot.com.

It was going to be C-Spot tell, you know, because it's like I'm telling people. But I'm just like C-Spot date. C-Spot date. Although I think that I would feel like that's an OnlyFans site if I were. But that would get a lot of traffic. That's true. Also, I'm not opposed to putting up my feet. Do you mind if I check out your feet? Oh, God, of course. See, people are so sensitive. Yeah.

Yeah, do you have a rating on WikiFeet? Hannah, do you have a rating on WikiFeet? I'm sure I do. Put them out. I need to see them dogs. Do you...

That's what I'm saying. Let's get these dogs out. Let's show some more pictures of these dogs. You have a listing. Okay. Your rating... Before you say it. Yeah. I'm going to go ahead and self-eval. Is it one to ten? One to five. One to five. Okay. So for me, I don't think that I have extraordinary feet by any means. So for me, I'm going to say... I cannot even think of an instance where I've even...

like the shadow of your feet or anything like that? Like in terms of your work. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you done much like... I'm clavicle up typically. That's not where I operate. What about that scene where your shadow was against the wall and you were putting on a stocking? I'm sort of peeling my pantyhose.

But I will say most of the pictures on your site are... On WikiFeed? On WikiFeed are you at events or on talk shows. And Open Toed Heel, I presume. Open Toed Heel on the Jimmy Kimmel show. What was that? Did you see something scary? I was about to cough. Open Toed Heel. Yeah.

But there are some candid photos, it seems. I hope they're candid. I hope these are not professional photos. I'm going to go ahead and clock myself in at three. Whoa. Hey, don't take this into your dating life. Would it surprise you?

Shoe size nine, by the way. Is that accurate? Eight. Oh, my God. Okay. We need to amend WikiV. Would it surprise you to learn you have a four-star rating? Wow. See? It would. And it says, parentheses, nice feet. Really? Yes. God, then I guess I don't know the metrics that they're using. By the way, there are about six comments.

Six comments. Let's hear them. Use your comments. I like what I see. Cute feet on a cute lady. Okay, that's a dog person. Wholesome. Gorgeous. Long toes. That's a cat person. Very sexy. I'm scared. That's a doe. Okay, here's a little bit of a criticism. Not much, but there. Not much? Well, hang on now. Well, hang on. Hang on. Do I have...

toes or don't I? I don't know. What do you mean not much? I'm not ascertaining. I'm not here to judge. I think they're talking about the amount of pictures. Okay, okay. I think they just want more. Wow, I'm crazy about her toes and the polished color looks great against her pale skin. Okay. Okay. Started horrible, went on to become allyship. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Toes legit.

Toes legit. Absolutely, and I think that could be said for everyone here. And no, we should be leading with our toes more. Ladies and gentlemen, toes legit. How about this? Damn, she's so hot. I wish there was more of her. Okay. Like more of your body or more of your feet? I'll tell you the most horrific comment I've ever gotten on a post of mine, and it's the cleanest word choice, but it's so upsetting. Are you ready? Okay. Okay.

Love her wide, fat... I can't even say it. Okay, here it is. Love her wide, fat, beefy pooper. Jesus fucking Christ! Itch!

It's chosen every episode, which is great. I don't understand what's wrong with that sentence. Is that not? To a dog. This is like the biggest compliment you could get. For a dog, that's a rave. That's a rave. That is. That is.

That is some high regard, Hannah, and I don't think you should think anything other than somebody loves you. Someone commented that on a bunch of my stuff. They just copy and paste. I fear that saying this on this podcast is going to lead our fans to comment it endlessly. No! Oh my God, you guys. Please don't. She doesn't like this. That is insanitary. I do like that WikiFeet links to your IMDb page. Totally. And it lists my one credit.

You have fewer credits than I expected. Yeah. I have to say. Yeah. Doing my pre-interview. That's why I was like, career. You mean I've been on one show. Done three of these episodes. Sure. I hope to see that reflected in your Wikipedia page. That's right.

Abby, I'm glad that we have helped you out. Wow. I feel like this is- I feel like I won this round. Yes, you won the episode. Yeah. Yeah, this is a- I agree. So successful. We should have a game show element of this too. Yeah. Yeah. People love to compete. Say that stuff. Do you think if football, and this is for you, Hannah, if football didn't have points, would it still be as exciting? No. The points are key, right? You have to have the points because you have to win and it's about winning. But what if they ran up and down the field-

And did all the things they're doing and kicked it through the thing and all that. And everyone just was like, good job. Yeah, that's interpretive dance. That's a game of catch to me. And I'm here for that. That's sports. All right. Well, we are running out of time. We only have time for one final feature on the show. That's a little something called plugs. Oh, Levi. Watch Good Plugs.

What you gonna do? What you gonna do? I really, really, really, really want to hear it, please. Ooh, nice and short. That was Plugs Please by Levi Sainz. Thank you to Levi Sainz. If you have a plugs theme, head over to cbbworld.com slash plugs and upload it and you can be famous for a week. And Levi Sainz, you are famous this week and this week only.

Prepare for the inevitable crash down of your fame plummeting in about seven days time. Hannah, what are we plugging here? Your Wikipedia says not much other than hats. - That's right.

That's right, Scott. You had your stand-up special, which came out last year. Yeah. That people can still access. Check that out. Everything must go. Only streaming now on Max, which is also where my show is. That's the corporation that owns me. You are just knee-deep in the Max business. Oh, yeah, baby. Are you like Max royalty? Like when you show up out there in Santa Monica or wherever their offices are, do they just like all the doors open for you? Yeah.

I'm something of a Maxinista, I'd say that's fair to say. Yeah, we got hacks coming out. And when does this air, this episode? Who knows, but I will say that wet day is the day that everyone will be celebrating. April 10th, folks. April 10th. Remember, we need exponential growth, right? This is an era of...

tech and Wall Street influence in Hollywood. And if you don't have growth in your business, that means you're doing horrible. You can't just make money for everyone. No. You need to grow. You need to grow exponentially. Every quarter. So if you want me to keep, you know, sort of living, frankly, you gotta tune in, folks. You gotta tune in. How many seasons do you want to do? I think we talked about this last episode, but I would like...

As many as you guys are still alive. Just every year, just make a new season. And we just like, you know, and the later seasons can be boring, you know? Like, I'm sure...

You know, not there's not going to be all this drama with like, oh, she's got a big show now. Like eventually it's all going to peter out. But I would love to just hang out with you guys. Well, you're sweet. And I, I, too, would love that. I think, you know, our hope is five. Our hope is five. Your hope is five. So you don't know yet. We don't know yet. You guys win all these awards every year. Look, you know, you know, including you, a Critics' Choice Award. Hey, come on now.

The critics chose you to win an award. They chose me to win and that, you know, and I choose and I had, and you have to choose yourself every day and that's what really matters. I believe they chose you to win supporting actress when I view you as a co-lead. Well, you're, you're nice as in, in addition to being sweet.

Thank you. But Hacks is out. We need to watch it on wet day. Wet day. And it comes out every week, too. It's not like all put up at the same time. It's one episode a week. One episode a week. So here's what I would do. I would watch the first one on April 10th. I would probably pace around my house wondering what's going to happen for the next six days. And then seven days later, I watched number two. Repeat.

Repeat that 10 times. Yeah, 10 times. 10 times repeat that. We're going all the way to June? June. Is that how long this is running? This is going to be a great couple of months. I think it'll be, I think, yeah, April, May. All of May. A lot of May, right? I mean, look, and I'm with Abby. I don't do math. So that's your department. But look, I'll just have to keep working so that I can keep coming back on Comedy Bang Bang. I hope so, because if Max, you know, and Hacks, which, by the way, they rhyme, that's elegant.

Hacks on Max. Hacks on Max. If this doesn't get back for a fifth season, I don't know that we're going to have occasion to talk anymore. And I really love our chats. Yeah, I guess I'll have to figure something out. Yeah. Make a real career. Yeah. So that I can come back.

So I'm begging our listeners, watch Hacks, because I want to be talking with Hannah in about a year's time. Yeah, we're so desperate to be talking one year from now. And so if you could watch the show, that would help us to do that. I would love that. All right, let's turn over to Deion Sanders. What are you plugging here? First of all, Colorado football is back in August. August. Stay tuned for that.

We already back to work at this point. So you guys are in pre, what do you call it? Pre-training? Workout. We're just working out. We're evaluating dogs. We see how many dogs we got this season. How many dogs have you been through? Hundreds of dogs. Hundreds of dogs. Yeah. And they haven't all worked out. They haven't all worked out. Not all dogs go to heaven, Scott. You know that. No, because you just get new lives. Exactly. Exactly. Come on back.

Well, other than that, I'd like to plug some other people's podcasts that I like to listen to. Oh, sure. Yeah. The Hollywood Handbook Sport-O-Matic Universe. Those men. Those men. Yeah, what we call them. You call them those men. Some people call them the boys, but those men, they just launched a new podcast. What are these guys doing? It's called The Filthy Ones. The Filthy Ones.

The Filthy Ones. What's this about? It's a play on the Flagrant Ones, which is a basketball podcast. The Filthy Ones is a baseball podcast. Oh, okay. Yes, yes, yes. So go over there and check that out. It's The Boys and Carl, as they are very eloquently described as online. The Boys and Carl. The Boys and Carl. And let me ask you a question. Did they ever drop the act? I still don't know. Interesting. Also, you know, watch other things. Grand Cru streaming on Peacock. Interesting.

In the notes. Is that going to come back? If enough people watch that, will that come back? Probably not. Neither will In the Notes. And watch Saturday Night Live, ladies and gentlemen. Shabooby or Jelly Roll. Yeah. I have a friend who's a writer on that show. Did he write Ladies and Gentlemen, Jelly Roll? I did. He did.

Oh my God. This is huge. He did. I would love to meet him. Yeah, you got to meet that guy. All right, Abby Spot, what are you plugging? Well, check me out on Hannah's WikiFeet page. Oh, you're getting in there? I mean, that's where I'm going to do my... That's where you're going to comment on? Oh, I see. That's where you're getting your website. That's where you can find mine. I would imagine her WikiFeet page gets more traffic than HannahEinbinder.com. Oh, undoubtedly. That's why we went with it. We went with the feet. There's just no doubt.

There are some cute people who do improv. Oh, okay. The Yeti team at UCB in LA and at the Elysian Theater in LA. Okay. You can find them on Instagram at...

At for real Yeti. I don't know. Yeti for real maybe? Yeti for real. Yeah, I bet that's it. Yeah. If I had to guess. And I have no skin in this game. I have no skin in this game either. But a lot of skin on your arms and legs though. I'll tell you that much. Well, not that I'm showing. Yeah. I have pants with a huge hole in the end.

We haven't talked about that, by the way. When you walked in here, it was surprising to me. You have a huge hole in your... I'm upset that I have to be on a chair and hide it right now. Yeah, I know. This is terrible. Yeah. I want to plug... Look, hey, we mentioned it before, CBB World. It's your one-stop shop for everything Comedy Bang Bang related. We have the entire archive, every episode of this show ad-free. We have every single live episode we've ever done, including the giant tour we did last year.

We have great shows like Scott Hasn't Seen, where we watch movies that I haven't seen before. We were just in the middle of Month Month, which is so exciting.

We also have shows like Hey Randy with Randy Snuts. We have Who Me with the Batmen. We have The Neighborhood Listen. We have College Town. So many great things over there. And if you subscribe for a full year, you get two months free. So that's a great deal. All right. What do you say? Why don't we close up the old plug bag?

Never ceases to surprise me and also make me laugh. That was Clothe the Plug Bag by Evaser. Thanks to Evaser for that. And guys, I want to thank you so much. Hannah, I know you're mid-sip of water, but I'm going to thank you and I'm going to say that I hope...

Hacks is a huge success. I'm a big fan of the show and early adopter and excited for this season and can't wait to see it. And I hope to talk to you in a year. I will see you in a year. I love that confidence. That's dog confidence. Oh,

Oh, yeah. All right. And Abby's spot, of course. Good luck with your business. Thank you so much. And good luck with co-opting WikiFeet. We'll be in touch. Yeah. Fantastic. And Dion. Should we show one more scene from Hacks? Yeah, sure. One more writer's room scene. Okay, sure. Yeah. And action.

So you got those ribs. Oh, there's a good rib right here. And we both lost our jobs. Yeah, yeah. I got barbecue sauce all over the rewrites. Yeah, that was really tough. And maybe I should have taken a different leadership strategy. But I was just trying to be, I don't know, easy and cool. It's not your fault. Hey, I need a place to stay. You mind if I move in with you and Christina Hendricks? I don't. Yeah. Well, I mean, I guess I could sleep on the couch. The new intimacy coordinator is here.

Hi, I'm Abby Spot, the new intimacy coordinator for Hacks. I'm taking over your office. Oh, wow. Wow. So the, I'm sorry, I'm just a passive PA observer. The intimacy coordinator is taking over the head writer's job? Office? Well, I got fired. Okay, yeah. Because we didn't get the rewrites approved by my subordinate. I'm so sorry. And they found me through WikiFeet. Oh, okay. This all makes sense to me. I just want to write one last thing before I leave the office. Let's hear it.

This is me riding a cute car. This is me riding a cute car. Genuinely. Genuinely amazing. Ladies and gentlemen, Toe's legit. All right, we'll see you next time. Thanks. Bye. Psoriatic arthritis symptoms can be unpredictable. I had joint pain and I couldn't move like I used to. I needed relief.

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