Beneath Dark Wings | Ep. 42 | Dream of Mirrors: Part 2
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Welcome to Legends of Avantris! I'm Capriccio DeSesto, you can call me Caprice, and you're listening to Beneath Dark Wings. Here's what happened last time. I heard you call in my dreams, and I have followed you every step of the way. The power of death, the power of the owl, the power of the goddess herself, the power of the prime can no longer hold what is entombed ahead of you. We must now prepare...

for the chained god to become unchained. We have to find the rod. We will need it. We need the power of the seven angels. We must muster them.

And we are tasked to head to the east, to a land of dust elves, to a land of mist. And I fear you may have to travel into the land of death itself. So what you're saying is that the seal's breaking is inevitable? There's nothing we can do? We have failed.

Your chief, he... he... he fell. He was tricked by... by Golden Lotus. Tricked by Golden Lotus? Yes, yes, we just gave him a proper burial, but he killed the beast without realizing that it would end his life as well. I thank you. And if we don't cross paths again, safe travels and keep your head high.

And then suddenly the fire that you've built erupts into a massive pillar of chaotic flame. Caprice, you are now realizing that it's been probably exactly 24 hours. Oh shit. Since you made the deal. You're saying I no longer, we no longer have a connection with the Glaive? No. He let it go. You failed. And I am so very tired of trying to have you be useful to me.

As a part of every deal gone bad, there are consequences. And you see as the entire chamber around you erupts into the image of shrieking, wailing souls in fire. Our arrangement has come to an end.

I hope you too enjoy the rest of your short life. Once it's over, your soul, your family's soul, and all of your descendants will be experiencing the agony of hellfire. I'm disappointed in this friendship I thought we had. Why? Why didn't you just ask for help? What other option did I have? This was an opportunity for me to free my family's souls, my own soul? Uh-uh.

If I just let things continue, it would have been no change. Just a sliver of hope. I made a bum deal. I'm sorry that I hurt you. You don't understand what it feels like to be in this position. I mean, I understand what Iris is saying about destiny and the things that are thrown upon us. But for all of you, there's another...

where you can go and be free and your old soul and the whole thing. I was staring an eternity of torture down. None of this is over until we stop breathing. You made a bad deal. When you lose the bed, you double down. We just killed a demon. Why couldn't we kill a devil too? What are you guys doing? We've been captured, unfortunately, by this magnificent Kirin. We're doomed. We had no choice but to surrender. The Kirin here is going to take us immediately.

to the Golden Lotus as prisoners. - Got it. You finally come to a sudden stop as Hizaki quietly and softly and gently lands at Rajani's lair. You all suddenly stop on Hizaki's back as you land.

on this large platform jutting out from the mountain. This beautiful terrace that goes into the mountain with the sculptures of golden dragons and elegantly carved adornments all over it, and the massive double door that even a large, a creature as colossal as an ancient golden dragon could easily fit through. As Hisaki stops in a flash of golden light, he looks back,

all of you on his back. And he says, okay, now you'll have to get off. Your prisoner's here. This is your prison. Is there somewhere where I can use the bathroom? Should I just pee over the edge? I've been holding it for hours. Why didn't you go before we left? I said it and then you took off.

Get off! He kind of like, he shakes a little bit. So we're on the terrace itself. Well, you're still on his back, but he's landed. Yes. Yes, on the terrace, yes. I will dismount. I also dismount. I will run to the edge of the terrace and I will be over the edge. I hope there's a skeleton down there. That's so disrespectful. The skeleton's just like... It looks like a terrace.

new evidence to me who might be the pee drinker. Hey, I don't need the rules. I'm just saying there is now new evidence. Conspiracy. There is new evidence. We're getting closer to who the pee drinker might be.

And then I return to the group. Do you feel better? Yeah, my back teeth were floating. That's one of my favorite phrases in real life. It's so gross. What does that mean? It means you have to pee so bad your back teeth are floating. You've got pee up in the air. All the way up into your mouth. Pee drinker confirmed. Just saying. All right, knob creak, all right. Yes!

You already used that joke, man. Come on. Still stands. As you all land, or as you all dismount, he kind of whips around and faces you, looming very tall over you. And he kind of glares at you very unconvincingly as he's trying to look tough and angry and mean. And he says, well, I'm going to go...

I'm gonna go let the eternal blossom know that you're here. And then, then, then she'll know what to do. But she's very busy and she said not to disturb her. Oh no. She don't know what to do. And he turns around. Wait. And in a flash of gold light and the doors open. Are you really just going to walk in there and rely on her? She's gonna want to see that her big strong Kira knows what to do.

I go asking her for help. - Thank you for swinging, Chuck. - Deseratundi! - 22. - I have a point possession, otherwise the energy isn't right. - I crit, he's starved forever now. - He turns and looks at you and says, "Oh, Mel, I guess that's a good point."

Yeah, so, oh God, it would be so, so awful if, you know, um... Somebody help me out here, please. He's got an inching towards the open door. Wait, it would be terrible if you went in there.

Yeah, it's almost like, "Ugh, you know, if you ordered us, you displayed such control over us that we just did your will without you even having to be there." Can you imagine how impressed she would be? If we just like walked in and bowed at her feet and she was like, "Oh, like where is Hisaki?" And we were like, "Oh, Hisaki's so strong!"

He just was busy and he, you know, we decided to obey him because he's so powerful and you are so lucky to have him in your service. So I'm going to stay here.

And you're going to go ahead without me keeping an eye on you. Yeah. And that'll show her that I'm really a big strong hero. That's exactly right. Only because you told us to. And you convinced us. And you're under my orders. Exactly. And we know that not a toe goes out of line. Or we're in trouble with the big guy. Who else? Yes. I'll wait here.

I'll keep watch. Make sure no one else gets into her very secret lair that I brought you to. That's a really, really good idea. Not sure of irony. Anyone could think of that except for you. You would not want anyone to interrupt her punishing us. Oh, that would be awful. Oh, yeah, no. This will probably be the last time I see you guys live, so rest in pieces.

- So it's just this way, then? - Yeah, the giant open door. - Just right through there? - I don't know what to do, yeah. - All right. - Is there any kind of like traps or anything that we should be aware of so that we don't die until we get to her? - It would be bad if you had your prisoners die

on you before they got here. - Oh, that'd be terrible. - Besides her being able to see anybody that comes into her lair and teleport you to dream realms. Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Oh, that's so good to know. - What? That's just part of the lair. That's just how it works. How do we avoid that? - I'm only-- - Well, you really can't, but you know, that's just part of it.

I'm scoring with them. We got dream traps? What if we fall into a dream world before we get to her? Or is this something... Oh, no, you definitely will. Yeah, no, no, no. That just means she has full ultimate power. You came to her lair, and this is kind of how it works. Have you been in a dragon's lair before? Can't say that I have. He wants. But not in here. All right, so this is goodbye, then.

- Forever. - Forever. - Pieces. - Pieces. - If you mess with her, if you're really nice and say, "Oh, you know, Hisaki said that you're okay, she'll might, and you agree." Well, you know, the thing is, I don't want you guys to die. I kinda like you guys. You made me feel really strong. - Aw.

- So he'll-- - That's not-- - Will say you put in a good word for us and we'll put in a good word for you. - So the thing is, what you guys really have to realize, and he like suddenly like changed before realizing kind of the gravity of you actually going into there with all of the dream prisons. - You kind of realize that Rajani's doing this for the greater good. You know what the greater good is, right?

No, we're too stupid to know that. What is the greater good? The greater good is she's the most good moral being in the world. Oh. And it's that even one person, it doesn't matter if one person dies or a couple people die if it's for the greater good. Oh.

That makes sense now. None of us, even me as a Ciaran and you all as human-oids. I don't want to be that guy, but you really shouldn't use the word and the definition. You just kind of said greater good a bunch. Oh, it's for the greater good. That's what she says. But what is it? But it's that when we all submit, there's unity and harmony and peace. I see. And it's for the greater good. And so it doesn't matter if a bunch of people die or if they're all subjugated.

It means that at the end there's gonna be peace and happiness and harmony. And isn't that better than freedom and free will and agency? - Well, you've convinced me. - That sounds nice. - Yeah, it does, doesn't it? It sounds really nice. - Thanks for the heads up about the dream prisons. I guess we should head in. - One quick question. If you went in there, would you also get dream prisoned? - No, no, not at all. - Why not?

Oh, just because, like, I'm supposed to be there. You guys really aren't. I know you're my prisoner, so you are supposed to be here. Tell her that you're supposed to be there. Oh, okay. So, could you give us permission to be here? No, I can't do that. Not my lair. If you flew us in there, would we avoid the dream prisons? Oh, no, if you were on my back, you would just get dream prison off of my back. Oh, no.

Okay. So how do you get out of a dream prison once you're in a dream prison? However the rules of the dream world work, I don't know. I've never been dream prisoned. How are you going to bring the prisoners to Rajani if you can't get us to her? If we get dream prisoned, isn't she going to be angry that we're stuck in a dream prison and she can't get us? Oh no, it's her. It's her dream. You're not in prison. It's just the dream rooms. Realms. Rooms. Worlds.

It's all her, she creates them. I think before we go any further, we're gonna just have a quick prisoner hunt. Is that alright? Yeah, sure, that makes sense. Cool. And then I'm gonna invite you guys to come in. Okay, um, so here's the thing. Uh, Izaki is kind of a joke in a good way. But the problem is that we didn't really think about, like, I knew we needed to come here, but she is a dragon.

And we may be severely outclassed without any kind of a plan, especially now that we know that there are dream realms and prisons. So while we were able to outsmart Hisaki, I'm a little worried we may be in it now. Maybe we should not have come to the front door. Maybe we should have snuck by Hisaki and just walked there instead.

That would have taken way too long. I'm grateful for his help. We'd still be in the same situation. That's true. I think let's just go inside. And just take our chances? Well, he said that it's her dream prison, so...

We came for her, didn't we? We did. We have to get to her to get to her, sure. We do. But maybe there's a different one in that she wouldn't notice. He said she notices everything inside of the lair. He basically called her all seeing. He's like, you have a question. Yeah. Are there any secret entrances that she might not know about? Oh, no, no, no.

Not even like a hidden tunnel? Why would there be secret entrances? He turns to the glorious front door and says, I mean, that's all she needs? She doesn't need to escape out any back door. That's true. Well, that settles it for me that I'm with Iris' plan. We just go in. Me too. Worst case scenario, we're all in a dream realm together. That's the best case scenario. Yes. Worst case scenario, we're all in separate dream realms. Oh.

I don't know that I... Do we still have one of those feathers? Do we? You do. I believe we have one left. Worst case scenario, we use the feather and get the hell out of there. As long as it still works. Sure we don't even want to look for a secret entrance? I just like point up to the giant gold dragon statue and I'm like, she built this place. Had to have.

Yeah, but just because he doesn't know about it doesn't mean it doesn't exist. I wouldn't have found a bunch of the best craftsmen from all over Avantris to build this for her. She found the cave, though. Guys, I think Hizaki can hear everything we're saying. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Oh. Well, of course. Hizaki is our captor, so Hizaki would need to know what we are talking about and what we're planning. The feather's the backup plan. I like it.

There's always a chance that it might not work, wherever we are. Oh, and just so you know, everything we're talking about, we're prisoners, Sasaki, so we're lying about everything. Yes. It's all code. Did you expect me to trust you prisoners? Exactly. What exactly? I'm trying to make sure you knew not to trust anything we say. My eyes are... While we're huddling. When we're not huddling, we're completely honest.

It's very tricky business, but we know that you can keep up because you're so much smarter than us. Yes. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes. Yes. All right. And then with that, I guess we proceed. Let me just see if there's anything I can do real quick. Yeah, I would... And as we start walking towards the door, I'm going to turn back to Hisaki. I really don't like doing this, but...

We are your prisoners, so I will march forward without you. I'm going to ritually cast Detect Magic as we move forward, just to see if it helps at all. Okay. As soon as you cast Detect Magic, I would say that the entire... You are surrounded by magic. Right. The fact that we need the air around you is magical. It is humming with the natural magic's...

of a golden dragon and everything else that has been cataloged here. And she, or Hezaki looks at you, Iris, and says like, yeah, you don't have a choice in the matter. You have to march forward and face the eternal blossom and she'll know what to do with you. And if you are very nice and you submit and you say you're right about everything, Regina, I think she will be your best friend. Like she's my best friend.

So you have nothing to worry about if you believe in the greater good, and you do believe in the greater good, right? Oh, yeah. Yes, I like being good. Absolutely. Good. And don't touch with any of the stuff that she's collecting. She's really particular about that. Oh, okay. Then Iris, I guess since we're prisoners, we should go in like a chain gang line. So I'll follow behind you, Iris. That'll also hide our numbers. Yes. Well...

Let us proceed against our will, but at your orders, His Honor. Yeah, and hopefully you learn what's good for you. Yes, we're learning, and I will walk the path to launch. Goodbye, probably forever. Probably forever, goodbye. Probably, definitely forever. But if, if by some chance we see you again, just know you're a cool Kieran.

Goodbye. You're not like most Curens. You're a cool Curen. And he kind of like looks, looks, and he's trying to look away, and then he looks back. I can't bear to... You brought this on yourself. And he turns away dramatically. And I will...

March in. I'm going to reach back and grab hands, and I'm just going to say down the line, stay in physical contact in case that has an effect. Oh, yes. Oh, that's a good idea. And so we will all link hands. I'll hold your tail. And I will, as we're... I'll hold your tail. It's not my tail! You can hold onto my tail. It doesn't mean that way! Oh, no. What happened?

Oh no. Yikes! It's his front tail. Oh god. Your tail's not in the front. Oh.

Oh no. Oh lord. I'll just hum something. The bard ability that I'm using is that every action on every one of my turns is counter charm. So allies within 30 feet get advantage against frightened and charm. Just because I don't know what we're to expect, so I'm trying to protect the group as much as possible. I'll just be like...

Yeah, I'm doing the whole thing as we, as we, very quietly.

- You see some movement behind you as like Izaki's kind of like nodding ahead and he's like, "That's kind of catchy." As you make your way into the lair of an ancient golden dragon. And as soon as you cross the threshold, you hear the loud rumbling. - Oh boy.

As the doors close behind you, the light of the brilliantly golden valley behind you snuffed out, but as soon as you enter, it does not get dark, as a brilliant staircase going downwards deeper into the mountain is brilliantly illuminated by a seemingly sourceless golden light that hangs in this entire space.

and you see what looks like a brilliant foyer, or foyer, that has murals on every wall and the ceiling of just the glory of this golden dragon, which is very clearly Rajani. As you now realize that this entrance hall, you are being greeted.

as there's a welcoming party for you. As you look out ahead and there's almost a full fleet, a full legion of these strange looking creatures.

that look like the combination between a lion and a dog that are staring at you with snarling mouths and you almost jump back as you realize that they're made of brilliant colored stones, massive statues as they catch the light and you realize that throughout this entire foyer that there's

Not just these lion dogs or strange serpents and draconic looking turtles and large tigers and beautiful cranes and oxen and all sorts of creatures throughout this menagerie that's welcomed you, but they all seem to have been encased in stone or in metal. - Are they moving? - Nope, they're just staring at you. - Oh. - They might be an illusion or something.

Should we touch it? Absolutely not. No, don't even get too close. Are they blocking our path? No. Sorry. You see that they're all over and you can see that you can make your way and they're very large but this hole is so massive that there's probably a good at least five feet in between all of these stone animals.

I still have a really old spell scroll of Mage Hand, which I could use to try and suss out if there's anything dangerous going on over there. I was gonna save it for some private time, but then I realized it only lasts for ten minutes. I would suggest that we do not interfere with these things at all. As long as they're not moving or making any sort of threat towards us, we carry on our way.

I agree. I think we just walked past them. They're just statues. Right? Yeah. Just statues? I don't know. Why are you looking at me? I don't know. You're right there. I'm just looking at you. You're tugging on his front teeth. Oh. Oh, is that what? Oh. Somebody switch me. I'm staying in the back. I'll go. I owe you guys a little pennant. Switch me. I owe you guys a little pennant for recent history.

I'll go. Deceit, manipulation, lies. Those are the top three. And I will break hands from the group, let them stay in a line, and I will attempt to start walking forward. And as you make your way through...

this menagerie and you realize as you get closer these statues, if they are, look incredibly lifelike. And as you pass through, you actually hear a as all of the statues move to face you as you walk through.

Caprice? You saw that, yeah? Uh-huh. Okay, okay, just checking. I'm still alive. Nothing's happening. I'm not in a dream prison. Should we follow him? We don't have a choice. Okay, stay there. We're coming. Uh-huh. That's cool. I'll follow behind in the same order that we did. You do that. And as you all make your way through this room,

Menagerie, once you get to the center of the room, you hear the grinding of stone as all of the statues turn towards you. And you can feel their eyes on you. And then you feel the presence of another set of eyes. You feel like something is watching you. And suddenly, all around you is a brilliant golden flash of light.

And you feel your consciousness leave you, as you feel a pull on your stomach. And in a brilliant flash of light, you are no longer in the Hall of the Gilded Menagerie. Is this brilliant golden flash familiar to Caprice from when he attempted to steal the glaive? I would say it's exactly the same. And the light... Oops, wrong thing.

Pardon me. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon moi. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon

I do like that. Alright! And as your eyes adjust from the flash of golden light, you look around and these streets are familiar. You look around and all of you are there. As you are in the middle of the familiar streets of Kirstein.

As you see a band playing far off in the distance, you see streamers all around, you see the familiar decoration of barley and rye and grape, as this is the great festival day of La Poiret. Once a year, you hadn't been able to show your friends this, but you're able to see that it's all decorated.

And it's... and you're not sure, it doesn't feel like it's the right time for this. But as you look around, you're excited and lofty. You see that there's people that you recognize, but you're used to the raucous drinking.

Raccoose. The raccoose. You're used to the raccoose drinking and the revelry and the drunkenness and the bar fights and the tests of martial arts. And you actually see now that it's, despite the music, that it's actually very peaceful. There's no uproarious, almost obnoxious laughter.

People are just chatting calmly. And you see people in the square and you see Brother Gruber.

who you remember at this time of day, on this festival day, he'd be on his back, screaming lyrics, very out of key. And instead he's very politely having a conversation with another party goer. And you all look around now and something definitely seems off.

And you see that on the chins of every single person are fleshy tendrils that hang down. And you suddenly see a figure standing in front of you in golden robes, shock of white fur with black stripes, golden eyes. You see golden lotus standing before you. Welcome to my lair.

I'm so glad you were finally able to join me. Sooner than I expected, I will admit. Well, you could thank Izaki. He was able to capture us and force us here against our will. That's true. He needs a raise or whatever you give him to be a minion. He honestly even convinced me that you might actually be out for the greater good. And I am. Does this not prove my point? As she extends her paws around and

And she looks and says, there's no rowdiness, no raucousness, no lewdness, no ruckusness, no recusing. There's no fights. No one's passing out. Everyone is polite and orderly. They're still drinking though, right? To moderation. Boof!

I was going to ask if we get drunk now or do we get drunk in real life, but... Lufthia, are you all right? No. What's wrong? I don't think I can say with you know who you know where. Oh, I mean, I'm just looking around and it just looks like a party to me. What kind of terrible ass parties do you go to? What? What do you mean? Everybody's just...

- Talking calmly? - Talking, it looks pleasant. They're having a nice time. - Sober? - Well, yes. - In moderation. - Where is the drunken songs and the oompas and the cheers and the jeers and the fighting and the brawling? - Is that how it normally is? - Yes. - Observe the small measured sips of beer.

I mean, it seems disposable. I mean... Eating until one is simply satisfied. Nothing beyond. What is this devilry? Is this your grand plan? This is an affront to the poor.

It doesn't seem that bad, frankly. I would enjoy this. This is horse shit. What are you guys talking about? Just kill me. Kill me now. Well, all right. Nice camera, 117 times in the stomach. That's too many times. That's too many. You could have stopped at 17, but you went 100 more. Oh, God.

Actually, I have a knife in my tail curl as well, and I'm just three knives at a time. Why are you showing us this? Because. Do you not see? You think that I am some villain. You think that I am after some terrible plan. Does this seem terrible to you?

I mean, when Lufi described this holiday to me earlier while we were traveling, she described a cart where you can get a chicken sandwich between two funnel cakes for the buns. I don't see that fucking cart here. This is a nightmare. Exactly right. Yeah.

The food here is healthy. Edible. Edible. We could eat here. You could eat here. Hold on a second. Listen, I understand what you're trying to say. I mean, this seems fine. It doesn't seem particularly evil, but you're upsetting Lufty. She's clearly upset. You've done something. You've done something here.

I have simply brought about order and lawfulness and harmony and tranquility to this place. Do you see? And now you will enjoy this orderliness. Wait, like right now, right here at this party? Right now. You want us to just partake in the party? Yes, you will see. Is this a dream prison? You could call it that.

We enjoy the festivities in an orderly way. And in a flash of gold, she's gone. Okay. I can't. I can't do it. What do you mean? You can't just have a couple bites of food and a couple sips of beer and then we're out of here. Have you met me? I mean, just, you know, within moderation. Just for once. I can't believe that I'm going to say this. Caprice? Yeah? How much havoc can you wreak? Oh, now hold on a second. I don't think we have to jump right to that. Lofty.

How hard can you party, my darling? Do you need to ask? I don't. She said enjoy under her terms. But let's

enjoy under our terms. - Toa, I don't know about this. This could get out of hand really quickly. - I don't like this at all. - She has to come back if we're not being orderly. - Is there a bar anywhere nearby? - Oh yeah, right, not too far from you. There is a bar and they have like very small, like wooden cups of beer that they're serving. - Well, I'm doing it. Caprice, you have my express permission to do whatever you would like to do. - Oh, sweet heavens, no. - Lufti? - Ja?

You would be my best friend in the entire world if you would get completely blackout drunk and screw everyone. No, no, Toa, Toa, wait. I thought you would never ask me. No. No, and I'm gonna start hustling to the bar. Toa, where are you going? He's got the idea, let's go!

- Um, can I have one milk, please? Do you have milk? - Yeah! Big milk for big boy. - Yes, thank you. - It's very moderately sized milk. - It's very moderately sized. - I hate it. - Do not eat it too fast. You don't want to do what you tell me. - And reasonable.

So I have five very thirsty friends and one for Brother Gruber and we'll need a very reasonable beer for all of the five friends. Of course. And hands five small wooden cups of ale. Oh, I'll carry them all. Oh, I fell down. I'm just like gobbling up. Oh, so close.

of me when I've spilled them all in the dirt. Oh dear. What is it, deception? Deception. 16. 16. They completely bought... Clumsy butterfingers, you know. And another tray of five...

Thank you. And I'll turn around and start drinking them as I walk back and I'll make a fake pass handoff. Thank you, darling. Thank you. That was delicious. Still thirsty, you say? Okay. And I'll make a third trip back. Make another second check. I will call out as she's walking back.

- Please give me a moderately sized beverage, Lufty. I don't want to overexert myself by walking over there. - 21. - 21, completely buys it. And another tray of drinks. - You sir! - Do you need help, Lufty? You keep chugging them. - So unreasonable. Oh, that sounds great, yeah. You go that way, I'll hit the schnitzel cart.

All right. We each have one of these drinks. Lufty, I need you to hold my drink for me, darling. Toa, don't you see what she's up to? Thank you so much, Toa. Stop hitting me. I was having drinks. Please. No. Lufty, try your drink, though. You're almost there. I don't want to drink this. No, we can just drink this. Oh.

Sorry, I'm just thinking, so many ideas, it's like...

Now that's what I'm talking about. Yes. And I'd say that you're convincing at this point, you've rolled enough that you are able to go back as much as you want to get as much beer and people aren't really starting to, they're really not noticing you and you get this, it feels like it's very real, but it's in this, in that same eeriness that you felt all around you in Mogra Kai, it's like Kirstein with the exact same way. They're still themselves, but they're just, it's an orderliness that is just so unlike them.

Toa, I think you have the right idea. I'm with you. Can I just get one tea, please? Yes. Finally, someone with taste. Thank you. Is it? Cheers. I don't think it's working. You haven't destroyed anything yet. It's not as delicious. This is nice.

I'm gonna slap the milk out of Toa's hand. Arthur! What are you drinking from your mommy, little boy? Whoa! Oh, it's just a pleasant glass of milk. That was really uncalled for. And the tea, too. Slap! Ah! No! Luffy, what would I have to give you for you to punch that man in the face? Which one? The one who keeps giving you the beverages. Nothing at all! Would you go punch him in the face for me, darling? Oh, would I? So,

Yes? Can I have one more beer, please? Of course. I'll drop it and just... You can attach it.

Holy shit, you might kill him! If he's commoner HP, then he's dead. But it's okay, because he's a soulless avatar of nothingness. He's a soulless dreamhunter. He's a soulless avatar. I'm confident. 12 damage. 12 damage. As you spin around and just punch him, and he immediately... Oh!

- And the beer that he's holding to serve flies everywhere. - And I'm just like, "Ah!" - And lands. And then everyone in like a 20 foot radius around you stops and they all stare at you. - Oh, now we have your attention, yeah? You know this isn't right. - They're all staring at you and someone steps forward and says,

You should calm down with your rowdiness. You should come up with your calmness. You just knocked out Hans. That is not very orderly of you. Well, what is your name? Gerald. Well, now I'm going to knock out Gerald. I'm in the mood, Hans. Hans, are you all right? I'm going to charge at Gerald and try to tackle him. Is he going to?

- You are? - Hanzo's gonna be fine. Just keep him away from Nagasaki Tower and we'll be all right. - I love Lufti on hand. - What? - 14 to tackle Gerald. - 14, you just completely knock Gerald to the ground. - Okay, I love it. - And. - But who's going to stop me, little boys? - Tawa, Tawa, we have a situation. Lufti's completely out of control. - What should I do? - I don't know. You pick the Revali. Maybe you can pick her up too.

What is Lufty doing right now, Karina? She's just tackling not to wind up, Gerald. He's just knocked Gerald to the ground, who his cup of oat milk has spilled onto the ground, and he's like, "Please get off of me!" And his tendrils smack you in the face. I'm gonna slap his tendrils. I'm gonna just be straddling him and slapping his little tendrils around. That is not very polite of you. Where are you going to make me stop?

Tie him up. Tie him into a bow. I'm looking around. How big do the casks get? They, not nearly as large as you had seen, but like they get probably about like, you know, yay. It's a lot more measured. Yeah. Hmm.

Keep going. As I see Lifty doing this, and per Felix's request, I'm like, I love, all right! And I'm going to come up behind her and just try to grab her. Oh, somebody getting frisky! If you're going to resist it, then there needs to be a contest. Oh, I am not going to resist it. Okay, you just grab her. I'm going to squirm around in his arms and just plant like a big...

- Like Bugs Bunny style kiss on his face. - No, that's so inappropriate. - You started it. Don't start things you don't want to finish. - I didn't really think this one through. - Should I tie her up? - She wraps her legs around his waist. - Maybe, I don't know if she's gonna like that.

- I'm gonna try to scramble around. I don't know if I can make this happen, but I wanna try to scramble around him and like get on his shoulders. Like chicken style. - You could try to slip out of his grasp. - Let's do it. - Yeah, acrobatics versus athletics. - This is my favorite session of Beneath Darkness ever because of Lufthia and Chain. - That's pretty good. This is gonna be one for the ages. - I'm acrobatics? - Yep. - 27. - Oh. - I think I feel that. Let's see. - Oh, it's gonna be close. - Can I cast Bane on this?

- 23. - 23, good. - I must go have a little thing, or something. - Damn it, why is she so slippery? - She's made of hair! - It's the booze, I'm well lubricated as they say. Everybody join me! And I'll start singing like a raucous tune from a top teller. - I'm gonna jump onto the table where Hans was serving the various beverages of the day and I'm gonna stand in front of everyone. What's the name of the festival?

LaPoire, I guess. LaPoire? LaPoire. LaPoire? Mm-hmm. The holy day of LaPoire. Hey, everybody! I say happy, you say LaPoire. Happy! LaPoire! Happy! LaPoire! And now we're all going to play a very moderate game. No one's going to get in any trouble, and it's certainly not going to emerge into chaos. Boo!

- You, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you and you, all 12 of you, pick two other people, stay in between those two people, equidistant from both of them at all times and never stop drinking from these casks. Do you understand? I cast Mass Suggestion.

He's a master genius! How does that work? So the rules of the game are master just should. Yes.

All of them technically have to make a DC 17 wisdom saving throw and they can resist it. They're peasants, they fail. So, and the way that the game works, and this does always turn into a tornado of insanity, is that you pick two random people in a group and you have to stay equidistant between them at all times. But because they picked two people in the group and they have to stay equidistant from two other people at the same time, and that's also true for the two people you're staying between and the two people they're staying between, it's

a tornado of running and laughing and hopefully grabbing drinks and basically turning this entire crowd into a swimming... Yeah. We need to play this. Drinknado. I have three variations of this game, and they're all excellent, but I'll choose the easiest one to explain. Go on! Do that thing that I just said! Woohoo!

As you say that, just suddenly, like, you see this dumb look wash over them. Their eyes kind of shimmer pink as if it's filled with pink elephants. And playing with the music.

- As you're on the table and Lufty is encouraging them on and suddenly all of them, including Brother Gruber, including everyone else in this massive square of a formerly very boring party begins to, following the rules very well, you wouldn't expect them to, their tendrils are kind of flapping around, their eyes are washed over and they all start to drink and drink and they do not stop as had been suggested. - Yes, they will be doing that for

24 hours. I just killed 12 people with alcohol, point and aim. Holy shit! Now this is a party! And you start to see these are all like... I'm gonna be drumming on your head and kicking my feet. I'm grabbing drinks too now. I'm just like trying to rile everyone up as much as possible, playing along with the polka. Ugh.

I'm having a wonderful time, but she doesn't seem to be coming back. Well, at the very least, you're having a good time. So it was worth a try. Oh, boy.

I think this is probably the wrong way to go about it. So you better put me down. And with that, you see a shape in front of you, Lufty, as Gerald looks at you and says, That wasn't polite, what you did as he drinks again. What, are you going to spank me? She's got her spoon. Make a persuasion check. LAUGHTER

I said she's got her spoon, that's not advantage style. Oh, I only got a six. So do I get spanked? Do I get spanked? He stumbles forward and he raises his hand and he swings forward and he spins around and he misses you when he slaps another person. Yes!

- Oh no. - And then you see this large bearded man and he just is like looking drunkenly after failing Caprice's game and he just sucks him. - Oh my God. - And suddenly this tornado of drunken peasants is, is,

an absolute mess of cursing and screaming and violence and drunkenness as the entire thing devolves into absolute chaos. And suddenly, as you see the drunken, violent bar fight peasant tornado swirling all around you, you feel reality crack and shatter.

And suddenly, Kirstine is immediately ripped from your consciousness. And suddenly you're at the very end of the hallway in the hall of the Gildan Menagerie. Hey! I think we broke free. Of the party? Oh yeah, do we stay drunk? You do not. Oh. Should I put you down?

Yeah, I think that would be best for now. Iris, you were right. I'm so sorry. It worked. I will never tire of hearing you say that. I mean, it is what it is. Those are the facts. I can't believe that worked. Yes, I can't believe it worked either, but it was worth a try. That was great. I was about to turn into a whale. You were quite lovely. A what? A whale? I must say, I do appreciate the way the both of you took your roles by the horns. Oh, thank you.

No. It was risky. How would he fling you? The peasants could have died. They were not real, too. We don't know that. Maybe they are real in some way. Are the people in your dreams real? Well, not literally, maybe, but figuratively. Dreams? We were in dream rooms. Dream people could be...

You shouldn't kill dream people intentionally. If you punch Felix in a dream, do you punch him in real life? I would never punch Felix in a dream or in real life. There was that one time you were dreaming and you did punch me. Oh, I guess you're right. That one time doesn't count. If you were to kill Molok in a dream, would Molok die? No, I guess not. Well, pretend that everything you see in a dream outside of us is Molok.

Unless it's a devil. And in which case it's very real, let me tell you. Whew. Here's a good point. Maybe there are things in dreams that are real. Yes, there might be. Well, now you've gone and just confused the poor thing. I don't... This hurts my head, Felix. Yeah, I'm with you. Just listen to us. All right.

It worked this time, so you just tell me what to do and I'll do it. Are we further along in the room or are we still really far back? You're at the very end. And so there's another lard. I mean, it's smaller than the room, but it's still enough to fit a massive, colossal, ancient golden dragon as it continues deeper into the mountain. Should I scout ahead? I can...

I can make myself invisible and sort of... Ouch. Oh, I stubbed my toe. Part of the marble on this floor is unevenly laid. That's very unusual, given how orderly she is. For what it's worth, we know that she can see everything. I wouldn't waste your time going invisible.

All right, well, you guys want to arm in arm and just Wizard of Oz this tunnel? Yeah. Sure, why not? Oh, well, there's this homeless man that we called the Wizard of Oz back in Galtica.

And you'd always try to link arms with other civilians on the streets and just start walking down the street with them. That's interesting. I knew one as well. We called him Grandpa Woodstock and his penis was always out. Anyway, yes, let's link arms and walk forward. I had a friend named Enzo. You called me that one.

Then we lock arms and Wizard of Oz our way down the, or I guess Grandpa, whatever. Woodstock our way down the hallway. Our front tails wagging back and forth. Swag, swag, swag, swag, swag, swag. Can you do a major illusion? I mean, I can minor illusion depending on... I've got a surprise, what does he say? I got a surprise here or something for you. I've got a surprise for you. It's been too long since I've watched that movie. Swag, swag, swag, swag, swag, swag.

Is that forgetting ceremony? Yeah. Like right at the beginning. Amazing. Great, I can't wait to blow more 6th level spells on a dream.

As you make your way through, you get deeper and deeper into the mountain as you descend. And then suddenly there's, it gets slightly darker as the murals of Rajani, the Eternal Blossom, continue just in how brilliantly elaborate they are. And it makes you wonder how long and how many craftsmen it would have taken to do all this.

And where they came from, where are they now, it's very difficult to... It's hard to fathom. Where did they come from? Where did they come from? Shiny gold dragon. As you enter the next room, it is large and circular, and then the golden light that hangs in this entire place shimmers and glints, and you see now that there's rows and rows and rows and rows and rows of

of weapons of every variety. As you see swords and axes and glaives and hammers and maces and spears of all sorts of different make from all across Aventress. From...

all sorts of different time periods, perhaps, as you enter this armory that it looks like. But they're all, they all look incredibly deadly effective, but they're all just hanging as if they're just simply adorning the space. What do you do? Oh, we have made it past the lions, lion things. Now we're in the weapon room. Do you think that there is going to be another dream? Of course not.

No. I don't know. I think there might be. What does she need all these for, though? She's a dragon. Just for funsies? Just for decoration, maybe. I mean, maybe they represent something. I mean, Yosaki mentioned something about, you know, collecting things. Did we look closely at the murals? You haven't really done that, no. Can I take a look? Yeah, make a perception check. Yeah. 19. 19. You look around, and as you...

As you see, the thing that catches your attention, of course, immediately, is the shape of a massive golden dragon, its own catfish-like tendrils, incredibly long.

But what you are starting to realize in each one, there is an absolute sea of smaller humanoid creatures. There might be one mural that's filled with humans, another with orcs, another with elves. All variety of races and all of them have... and they're all in a submissive bowing posture.

and they all from their chin have those same tendrils. And everything looks incredibly reverent, yet and serene and peaceful, as if the murals are depicting an absolute paradise world. Um, I guess we just continue onward.

Just don't get near these weapons. Yeah, I-- Azaki warned against touching her-- her ship, so. That's true. Makes me want to do it more, but I won't. Let's stay close by. I will continue on. Okay.

You make your way through and you see as the rising up from the center, there's another central column and multiple columns and walls of weapons. You have to sometimes get single file to get through, wondering how this all works when she comes through herself. And as you make your way through,

Once you get about halfway there, once again, you see the shimmering, flashing light from all around you, and your consciousness leaves you again as you are transported to another dream world. I did not expect that. I certainly didn't. And you hear the... You hear and you feel the sea as...

You feel the soft breeze and the coolness and the wetness of the salt water as you hear the cry of gulls and the lapping of waves as the brilliant golden light shrinks back down into the sun radiating down over the beach.

as you see as there's beautiful tropical jungles all around, rising volcanoes, as you are on the beaches of, unmistakably, the Makani Islands.

As you see out on the beach, all laid out in rows, these massive, not massive, but these large sailboats that are all, none of them are in the water. They're all just lined up. And you see all across the beach, just dozens of Goliaths, tattoos similar to Toa, both male and female, as they all just sit there

on the, on their, either on the sailboats or in the sand or just stand around. And they're all just kind of looking at each other and just being, feeling peaceful. As you see, dangling from each of their chins are tendrils. And you look around and you see Toa, this looks familiar. This is the annual sailing competition.

And... but the boat shouldn't be on the beach. It seems as if they're all just sitting around, not competing. And in a flash, you see the shape of Golden Lotus appear, her soft paws in the sand. Welcome. Did you enjoy your last trip to Kirstein? I certainly didn't.

Well, I did. Lufty did very much. Well, I'm sure you did. And you made it out quite quickly. Yeah, well, when the party starts, nothing you can do. No matter. You will see here. These Goliaths of tropical islands are filled with competition. It fills their hearts of envy and sometimes anger.

almost a bloodthirsty desire to beat their comrades, their friends and even family. But it's all in good fun. It's all just competi- it's friendly competition! Competition inherently breeds discord, disorder, distrust. It's disharmonious. Look, and you will observe.

And you see all of the Goliaths are just sitting there. Some might be tending to a beach fire and they're roasting fish and various shellfish. And they all seem to be in just very light competition, or light conversation, rather. And she says, "In a world of order, there is no competition. There is no need. Everyone has what they need.

And everyone will do what is right for the common good. You understand? The greater good. There is no need to see who is better at one thing or another. Whether that be sailing or anything else. I don't like this. I mean, it's been so long since I've been home. I'm going to stay here forever, but these aren't my people. Do I recognize any of them? You look around and you see people that you may recognize, family and friends, but it just seems off.

They seem to be... You remember a vivacious spirit to your friends and family, but it seems to be completely missing from all of this. This doesn't seem right. I mean, I know this is a dream. It shouldn't seem right. But isn't this pleasant, Toa? Yes, it's pleasant. Then I think that you will enjoy your time here. Enjoy this.

the surf and the sand, but no competition. And in a flash of light, she's gone.

When I think back to how the previous dream worked, do I suspect that time passed while we were in the dream world? Or was it almost like an instantaneous in and out? I would say you have no way of knowing because you're all inside and it could have been days. It could have been hours. It could have been minutes. You have no way of knowing. My Apple Watch showed that the time passed. Roger that. And so you...

Iris does have that in her inventory. I cast a 6-level Apple Watch, and I would like to know. Yeah, you know. Toa, this is where you live? Yes, this is where I'm from. Toa, I would like to challenge you to a duel. Why would you challenge me to a duel? Because I want to see which one of us is stronger. Well, no, this is the sailing competition. It's not the time for a commercial competition. I love the water. I would like to challenge you to a sailing competition.

Are there boats scattered along? Yeah, there's a good handful, at least a dozen boats. You want to challenge me to a sailing competition? Yes. You know they call me Windchaser, right? That's lovely. They call me Iris. Would you like to challenge me? Are you saying you're better at sailing than I am? Oh, definitely. But only the challenge will prove. Are you afraid to be beaten?

Well, she said that competition. So maybe we need to compete to break free? Do we want to break free right now? Do we have some time just to relax? That was what I was going to ask. I would challenge everybody to a Mai Tai in one of these chairs. I'll be honest. I don't ever want to leave. I don't want to go back. It's dreary and awful. And I've never seen so much sun in my whole life. And look at this sand. I don't know how you leave a place like this. It was very difficult.

You know, I miss it every day. If we survive all of this and we make it to the end and we're all okay, I want to live here.

Of course, everyone is welcome. We could all live here if we wanted. I mean, I don't want to impose, but... No, I would take everyone. Everyone could come back and we could live in the islands and we could go sailing and fishing and drink my time. I'll visit often. I mean, if there's a pattern here and these dream worlds are a little bit connected to us because we're going to your island, we're going to your beer town, like...

I kind of want to move quickly through this because we're... Daltica's coming up, babe. And I mean, I would do a lot of terrible things for a full breath of air of just like the intense, the corner of... Let's get some Mai Tais. Don't worry about it. Yeah, I'll join your facade.

Can we just relax just for a little bit before we... Yes, of course. In that time, they might have time to kill Hersha. Oh, that's a good point. So let us enjoy this Mai Tai while she dies. Die? Shall we?

I challenge you to drink a Mai Tai faster than me. Challenge accepted. All right. You do that, and the Mai Tais disappear. And you hear a voice, Toa, that says, like, I get an 11. Hey, man, do you want some fish? No, I'm licking it like a cat. Some fish? Here's some fish. Oh, I would love some fish. What kind of fish you got? Here you go, bro. Have we got some red snapper? I would love some fish. Oh, I've been eating good fish and...

It feels like so long. Here you go, bruv. And you see that he hands you this roasted on a stick, this beautifully fire-roasted fish. And he says, well, you know, we've cancelled the sailing competition this year, so we're just going to hang out. Why would you cancel the sailing competition? It's so important. Well, there's a lot of hurt feelings when people have competition. It's just kind of nice to just kind of hang out, you know, bruv.

I mean it's kind of... I sort of understand that but it's... I mean it's what our ancestors did. It's how they came to these islands. It seems disrespectful to our ancestors. Well you know man, our ancestors kind of got into a lot of fights, lots of hurt feelings. You know, ever since we got our orderly and nice, everyone's just kind of nice and chill, you know. It's kind of nice. I just sit back and enjoy the fish, man.

Can you get them some fish as well? Yeah, of course bro. I'm gonna take the fish and I'm gonna throw it down on the ground and I'm just gonna stomp it into the earth.

How could you do that? I was perfectly confident. I don't know what that board was. It was a ramblin'. That's you! I've heard you, I've met you in a dream. That's terrible! It's terrible! It's terrible! The fish, no! All right, let's be convincing these people to sail. Aye. I just didn't manage, that's all I'm saying! No one's going sailing, all right? I'm gonna fish once they've bit me until I can kill it!

Sorry about that. We have a little bit of a loop. Okay, I'm back. Was this a crossover episode? In the next dream scenario, we all will be our other characters. Oh no, my bad. Why would you step on your fish? Your fish.

Fish? Well, it was very clearly not a well-caught fish. The smallest of the bunch. Well, you could have my piece. It's a pretty sizeable fish. That one also appears too small. It looks like none of these residents of Makani Island have any clue how to fish. Quite pathetic, if you ask me. Oh, you know, that's all right. You dropped your fish. You're like another. Well... You like fish. You're a tabaxi. Tabaxi like fish.

I'm disappointed in all of you. You know what we have to do and you're allowing your want for a little bit of respite to risk Hirsch's life. I can't believe it. You, of all people, Caprice. I... Yeah, Caprice. I would be happy to partake in the... I would like you to piss in their fire.

I am all out of piss. I'm not. Lofty please. I'm gonna cock a leg up and like dog fire hydrant that fire hydrant. Stop looking, Goa! Turn around! Yeah, you licensed your screen. You didn't turn? It's like a train wreck. I'm just so disgusted. Ah!

Stop, stop! Let's race! We'll race instead! Yeah, that's right we will! Competition! I think we have to convince them to race. If we race, then... We're not gonna convince them to race. Did we convince any- I guess we did. You told them to... Yeah, I mean, I had to use my magical abilities. Why don't you try to provoke them into racing you and Iris?

No, Aura said she can beat me. She thinks she's a better sailor than I am. Well, you'll have to prove to her that you're a better sailor and also all of them. Well, I think there are plenty of boats here so she can have her own. That's what I mean. Go pick a fight with one of these other stone boys and get him underwater. We won't just have a race between the two of you. You need as many people. You have to prove you're better than everyone. You're right. I'm going to walk up to the closest Goliath. Hey, man. Hey. What's up, man? You want to go?

For a race? No, we cancelled that this year, Ben. We're just hanging out and drinking my toes. I'm gonna move around the side of him. Is that because you're not good enough to race? Oh no, I'm pretty good at racing, I think. Really? Yeah, I think so. I'm a cat, you see. Oh, that's pretty cool. Cats are afraid of water. Oh, okay. I'm afraid of the dark sometimes. Do you think you could race faster than a cat that's never been on water?

Well, yeah, I think I'm pretty good, yeah. I could probably, yeah, do that, yeah. Well, I don't think that you could. Because I'm going to race this boat around there. Do you want to join us in a race? It'll be at least a three-person race, if you agree. And it will be very easy for you, of course, because I'm a cat, you see. Oh, that'd be pretty easy, because you ain't never been on the... So it'd be pretty chill, bruh. Yes? Egg? Are we having eggs?

Afterwards, the victor can have eggs. Egg? I'm getting persuaded, Jack. Disadvantaged. Yes, yes, disadvantaged. What in the hell? It was good! It was good until the disadvantage. Why? Why did I say that? No, I don't persuade him with a nine. Oh, God. Why don't you just relax? We're just all kind of hanging out, bud. Hey, I'll give you some of those fish if you, uh...

If you join us for this race. Oh, what kind of fish you got there, man? Some red snapper that guy over there gave it to me. Oh, that's pretty good, man. Make a restoration check at advantage. I thought that was the same guy that gave you the fish. No. Twelve. Twelve. It's just really hard to do variations in a New Zealand accent. As he looks at you and says...

I don't know, sir, man. We're not supposed to have competitions, you know? We're just kind of supposed to chill out. It's all harmonious that way and all that. We're vibing, you know? We're vibing. You know, congratulations...

You won the competition for saying no to the racing. Yes, it was actually. That was. Yes, you won. Congratulations. We were racing to see who would say no first. You got it. Oh, I was so close to you. I was right behind you. Make a deception check. We're really thinking outside the box here.

That's a nine, so that'll be a 23. He looks at you and his eyes are kind of wide and he's like, Oh no! Did I just compete in a competition? That's the one thing I wasn't supposed to do! Oh no, man!

Yeah, but if you get other people to do it too, then it won't look so bad on you. See, no, that doesn't sound... As long as I don't say it, I think I'll be okay though, man. No, I saw it. We all saw it. I really feel like if I'm not, you know, instantly persuaded with something else going on, that I might feel the need to scream it. Out loud and continuously. I'm very confused with what you're saying. Look, I know these people. They're my people. I don't think that these kinds of things are necessarily going to work.

This is too next level. I think that a higher level of intellect may be required to grasp these complex subjects. So how would you suggest we go about doing this? I think that we race. Like just the five of us? The five of us. There are plenty of boats. Maybe they'll see us and just be happy for the... want to do it too? Is that what you're thinking? What I'm just saying is that the five of us could compete.

I mean, we could do that. I thought I was onto something when I was getting into like, resist competition was the competition. No, I saw what you were laying down. I thought it was okay. Yes.

I believe what Toa is saying is they're not smart enough to understand. Well, not necessarily smart enough, it's just not in the nature. I guess it's kind of what I'm saying. It did get kind of meta pretty quick. Yeah, you're trying to like meta them and next level them by like convincing themselves. That's just not really how we roll. You think that could work for me? Probably not. I wouldn't really get it. Well, Toa, could we like... What would trick you into competing for something? I mean, I think you would just ask politely and I would do it, but they're clearly under orders. Excuse me, egg.

Am I doing it right? Yig. Yis. Excuse me, Yig. Oh, oh, what do you mean, me, bruv? Yes, bruv. Would you please race me? I'm new to this place and I wouldn't feel welcome unless I was allowed to race against you. Would you please? Make a persuasion check. 26.

"Well, I suppose so, but yeah, since you asked so politely, I suppose I could." "That would be wonderful. Can you point me in the direction of the boat I should..." "Oh, you just turn around, it's right next to you." "Correct." "And you turn around, there's literally a boat right next to you." "Lovely. Are you ready?" "I guess I could be." And he walks over to one of the boats and he shoves it into the water and says... "We should get some more. We should have a full-on race." "Sure." "Oh, right.

I'm just gonna go up to everyone I see and just ask them, "Hey, wanna sail?" - Sure. - "Wanna race?" "Hey man, you wanna go sail to that rock out there?" - And you do this, and I need you to just make a persuasion check generally as you go around. - 16! - Ooh, that's pretty good. - Plus anything? - Plus 15 plus one. - Oh, bummer. All right, 16.

16. And you... The pickle jar is out. The pickle jar is out. You go around... The name of your next only fan. The pickle jar is out. That's his lonely fan. Here's the pickle jar. And so you go around and... I eat nothing more. You...

You get the sense there's some resistance there. However, as soon as Ig and Iris push their boats out onto the water, and are you going to get in and start sailing? Mm-hmm. You start to see as a crowd. And I've sailed the river with my family before. Yeah, exactly right. So I'm not afraid of water.

But I'm not-- I don't know how to say it. So you get in the boat, and Toa, you're-- there's resistance at first. And so you get the sense that they really aren't sure. But as Iris and the gentleman that she has challenged, as very politely, and

- Iris, I need you to make a just general dexterity check at disadvantage, 'cause it is on the ocean. - Oh, come on. You should have that sweet natty tone. - Is that a dexterity check? - Mm-hmm. - Nine. - Nine.

I guess I could be inspiring people. I don't know. Whatever. So you are... You're holding your own, Iris, and you are definitely... You're managing to stay upright, which is basically all you can ask for. But you're not used to these kinds of waves, and you're used to the... Sometimes the... I would say I've been sitting there for a while waiting for someone else to maneuver the boat for me before I realize I have to do it on my own. Yeah, exactly right. Exactly right. And so you see as he just...

blast past you riding the wave. Wait, no, we all have to race together! It's one big race! And I try to stop them. And you do that and you get the sense that at the very least in just this one situation, Iris is... She gives him so much of a lead that he just blasts past to the rock and he turns around and you get the sense that the

that he feels like he shouldn't enjoy it, but his smile is getting wider and wider and wider as he then lets out a cheer, as he just blasts past. And everyone on the beach, you start to kind of gather them around, is looking out and then they're cheering with him. And then you see this female Goliath and she just has this hair all the way down to her waist as she looks up and says,

Are all these girls gonna race? Yes, we're all gonna race. It's the annual sailing competition. We're all gonna race. And you see that there's a resistance and a pull to that. And you need to make a pretty big advantage.

- 20. - Twice. And as soon as Ig makes it back to shore, he says, "Come on, guys, this is actually pretty fun. "I forget why we weren't supposed to do this anyway." And suddenly all of the boats start getting launched and you see that as Goliath after Goliath all gets on their own vessel and they all line up and they get ready to race and they're waiting for Yurk Haltoa to sound the horn.

All right, are you guys ready? Yeah, ready as I'll ever be. It's just as soon as someone gets on my boat to steer it for me. So I'm gonna get them all on their own boats.

All right, you just pull this line and you just have to keep the sail in the wind. Right, all right. And you want to lean left or right to try to steer it, if you can. Yeah, I think that makes sense. I think I can figure this out. This will be fun. If you're afraid about falling off, just tie a line around your waist and so I'll get everybody set up and I will approach kind of a blank spot in the water and I will dig in my bag. Oh.

Gross. That's just disgusting. I will dig through and I will take out the box that has all my different wind spirit figurines. Oh, that's fine. But I pull out something that I have yet to pull out in this campaign. Disgusting. I've had the entire fucking time. Absolutely gross. How big is it? It is a tiny little ship that looks similar to the other ships. It's been a long time, friend.

We're gonna show 'em who's the wind chaser. And I'm gonna put the tiny little ship kind of in the lapping waves.

And I'll say, "Moku." And it's going to grow to full size. It's a grower, not a shower. It is a sailing ship. It is basically a platform between two narrow holes. There's a triangle sail that has the shape of a turtle on the sail. I brought my own boat, if it's okay.

Yeah man, that sounds pretty cool! How did you get him to do that? Ah, the- the wind spirits gave it to me, don't- don't worry about it! Oh man, I'm jealous! Can I get one, bro?

You can probably ask them. They're pretty generous. Okay, that's cool, man. And I'm going to jump on and I'll say, is everyone ready? And you hear a resounding cheer from everyone. I still haven't gotten the person who's going to steal my ship. You're steering your own ship. What? Also, is it just me or is Ig slowly transforming into Bill Cosby? Oh.

You can't say that. I honestly thought that he was nailing a perfect Liverpool accent. He's one of the Beatles, man. Perfect. I'm all over the place with my legs. You're on your own, Iris. What? You have to pilot your own ship by yourself. What? No, there's someone coming to steer it for me. No. Yes. You're going to lose if you have that attitude. Of course I'm not. I...

They've definitely hired the best sailor on the Makani Islands. Good luck! For me. I don't think they did. Toa! Yes? Where is my sailor? No, these are solo ships. You gotta sail yourself. Just pull on this line and keep the sail in the wind and lean to one side or the other to steer the ship. Or the boat. Yes! You can do it. I have faith. Wonderful. Alright friends! Family!

"Let the sailing competition begin!" And I'll pull out my conch shell and I will blow on it.

And with that, wind will start erupting from the shell and sending the ships forward. What can I say except you're Toa? And I'll give you inspiration because I don't want you to lose your own competition. You say that and there's a massive cheer amongst all of them. There's almost this sense of like kind of a forbidden fruit aspect to this where everyone has been wanting to do this, but they felt like they shouldn't. And suddenly, with

the blow of the conch shell and the wind filling all these billowing sails, you all rocket off. And I need you, Toa, to make a sailing check at advantage, that's just straight dexterity. - It would be, it'd basically be a dex check plus my proficiency. - Plus proficiency, yes. - So it'd be akin to acrobatics, let's say.

And the rest of you do the same at disadvantage. Oh, I'm not actually going to sail it. I'm going to keep waiting for it. I'm going to be sailing, but I'm also going to be using my unending bluff to give myself a little cheat in the sail. I'll still roll a disadvantage though. Oh no! Dex? Dex, you say?

I think I get an 11 for just a straight dex check. 27. I'm trying to think if I can cheat with any of my spells. Yeah, I'm very seriously considering casting Destructive Wave, but... This goes for fairly competition to horrible death. I rolled a surprisingly good disadvantage, so 21 for me. 21, okay!

- I got 11. - 11, got it. - Not very good. - So all of the boats take off and it is a close and some, and there's back and forth and there's an incredible excitement in the air. But Toa, as you sail, this is what you were born to do. And this is, it takes you back. And even though it's been so many months since you've sailed, you haven't really been on this boat since you pulled Felix out of the ocean and saved his life.

and you, it is like, it is a coming home again. Even though it's a dream and you blast past everyone, you quickly take the lead and Caprice, you're actually keeping up with a lot of the other Goliaths as the rest of you start to fall behind. Iris is just sitting there on the boat, just rocking back and forth in the waves. - I'm looking around. Well, it must be a phenomenal sailor that they got me if they all get their heads start before my person even arrives. It's ridiculous.

as you start to see that the excitement on all of the Goliaths gets more and more intense as they all start shouting and laughing and cheering back and forth and some are cursing at each other, but it really is all in good fun. And as soon as the race is over, the cries and cheers at the end as Toa, you finish first place. As you arrive at the beach, everyone starts,

Coming in second, third, fourth. Caprice, you actually manage to come in sixth. Despite everything, despite being a bard, you kind of are the drac of all trades and you can figure it out pretty easily. As more and more Goliaths start to crash into you and lift you up, it's like,

"Well done, man! Yeah, you're the victor!" And so it's like, "Man, why did we even cancel this thing?" As they start all- It's gone right! Good job, guys! Good job, everyone! As soon as I land my boat and I get in with everybody else, I would run up to Toa and congratulate him on his win and look him in the eye and say, "This is the most amazing place in the world! This is the happiest I've ever been!"

You've come here for real. I promise. This was just the best day ever. And as soon as you feel like you're the happiest that you've ever been, the cheers and the excitement and the competition, the spirit of competition shatters reality. And suddenly you're all ripped back into the other end of this weapons hall at the end of this part of the Eternal Blossoms collection.

You alright? We're back here. Yeah? That was fun. No sailor never came. This sucks. You stayed on your boat. Very well done. I don't understand how I'm supposed to get to the other side. Well, you're supposed to sail. I tried to explain it to you, but... I thought you were joshing. Oh, I don't even know what that means. Who? Well, in 1776, a man named Josh Josherson...

Fools with someone they called it from then on Josh. Yes, Josh. Oh, all right. I'm taking a book and a pencil Remember that 1776. Oh, you did so good Thank you. It's sort of my thing. You know, they call me winch acer back home Sort of my nickname, you know, they give everybody a nickname, but I'm right stop bragging. I

Sailing related, you know, it's nothing special. Do you really have a tiny boat that can grow to enormous size? I do, I do. Why did you never show that before? We've never been on a body of water where we really needed it. I've never had a reason to sail. And it grows big whenever you say mocha? Moku. Moku. Yeah. And you've never thought to, like, we're in a fight, throw that into somebody's face or shove it down their throat? No, I would be horribly disrespectful. Fuck it, Moku.

I'm just saying that if you need to kill somebody, put it in their mouth. I know you can get it in there. You can make airplane sounds. If you need to kill somebody, somebody quote that. If you need to kill somebody, put it in their mouth.

You all stand at the end of this weapon chain with the vast collection of weapons from across the world and across perhaps centuries hanging all behind you now, stairs going further down into the mountain. That's right. What are you doing? Well, we better keep moving. We're making progress. This is good. This is good news. Forgive me.

It was just so nice. I know it's hard to leave it behind, but we need to save Hoosier. We need to stop whatever this is. All right. I'll lead the gang into the next room. I'll be right behind him. Okay. You make your way down the stairs, and this room is the darkest and coziest yet, but still filled with pleasant light, but just enough to read by. And then you finally realize why.

As you see rows and rows and rows of infinitely tall bookshelves and hang from every space where there isn't a bookshelf are rolls and rolls of scrolls all around you as what is probably the collection of a hundred libraries, a hundred of the greatest libraries from across Avantris rises up

and around you in this

almost hexagonal room that all branches out. And you see now, you remember from the previous room, and although it gets narrow with these massive bookshelves of all variety of style of tone, you see that there is an empty space in the middle where a massive golden dragon could easily sail through on its wings. But there seems to be

all manner of languages, all manner of styles of books and scroll and writing and cataloging of across the world and perhaps across, once again, across the centuries or millennia all around. Wow. Are we in your dream? I didn't feel the golden flash thing. I don't think so, but let me tell you, Debris, if we're going to find an answer to your problems, I bet you it's here.

Huh. Ugh, and we're not allowed to touch anything. I mean, now's the time to break some rules if you think you can solve my problem. I guarantee you the answer's somewhere in these books. I don't like the idea of touching anything. Aye, we really shouldn't. It's almost like this is here to tempt us to touch something. But it would just be... Oh, we really shouldn't. We really shouldn't. We can always maybe come back. Yes. Ugh.

Let's go take care of business and then we'll be back and we can, uh... Can you say show? We can browse. Unless it's, like, horribly destroyed. It better not be. Oh. Think about the... Are you scared? No, I want to preserve... Think about the untold knowledge and things that are lost to time and peoples and everything that are probably stored here.

I'm kidding, I'm just trying to rile you up. It's so easy. Let's just quicksave and go forward, and if anything goes wrong, then we can just shift F5 and we'll be... Don't worry about it. Sometimes I only understand about a quarter of what you say. Fell? What are we doing? Where's the schloop into the dream? I think we probably just need to walk farther into the room. Three steps more ought to do it. Here we go. And I'll start walking. You start walking. Ah!

And you make your way through, and as you start to read some of the names in the languages that you can understand, Felix, you realize that all of these books, you would expect to have some sort of magical knowledge here. But there's none. It's all books on history.

all books on the world of Avengers. All over the... all over the world. And you...

You step forward a bit more and you see that there's a couple of pillars rising up where there might be a book that's presented and highlighted, an ancient tome from hundreds of years ago or scroll from Yu Long telling a story that you're not sure if it's history or folklore.

And as you make your way about halfway through, you see that on this pedestal there's this beautiful leather-bound thick tome in this elegant script. And it's titled "On Barovia, the Lost Land of Blood and Mist." And as soon as you step forward towards it, there's a massive flash of golden light as your consciousness once again leaves you.

I was looking at a book called What Actually Happened in Drakkar. It was poor people. As your consciousness once again leaves your mind. You hear the light murmur of voices, the clinking of glasses, and the soft sound of piano as it drifts over the room that you're in.

As you see red and purple velvets and upholstery, as you seem to be in a tavern of some kind for the rest of you, but this is a strange kind of tavern that's far more intimate and dark and feels too claustrophobic with a caprice. Oh, baby! You know this is an absolute premier jazz club.

in one of the nicest joints in Galtica, as you see a number of tables all filled with some people, maybe a couple enjoying a romantic date. You see a couple of friends having a polite conversation, but everything is very calm. Everything is very, everything is very still.

as you look around and you haven't experienced this in so long. What are you doing? Where are we? I'm just gonna say it. I feel a little underdressed and kind of gross. We're in Galtica. What? We're in Galtica.

You've been here before? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is a place I've played this joint. It's cool, man. It's cool. This is really nice. I mean, this is a little top shelf for Galtica, but yeah. I was going to say, I've been to Galtica, but I'm usually in the dive clubs. Yeah, I mean, yeah, me too. But if you're going to go and get a fancy drink or you want to take someone out on a date, this is the place to be. You don't happen to have a nicer jacket than mine. And it's like tattered and dirty and gross and like...

I feel, I just feel like I'm gonna, we're gonna get kicked out. I, sorry, I can't help you, buddy. I transform into like the nicest guy. With a freaky suit. With a hat. Wow, that's convenient. I bet nobody will kick you out. That would, you know, cause a disruption and disorder and blah blah blah blah blah. That's a good point, I guess. Oh, is that what we need to do? Yeah. Oh yeah, okay. Disruption and disorder, right?

I guess, yeah. I don't know how to do that in here, but... And as you look around, you notice, you feel a presence behind you. As you turn and you see the familiar shape of Golden Lotus. As she looks at all of you and says, Did you enjoy your trip to the Makani Islands? Yeah, honestly, it was very nice. I miss it.

I can't believe how cool the sand is. Normally it gets hot from the sun, just melt it away. It was beautiful. Was that scenario a terrible world-ending threat? It wasn't the same. But wasn't it pleasant? What was so wrong with it? Could you not have imagined yourself living there for the rest of your lives? I... No, not like that. No. Why is that? I didn't have any, uh...

Fire. It didn't have any guts. It didn't have any adventure. It didn't have any wonder. It didn't have any spirit. You're cutting the extremes off of both ends. Don't you see that? But isn't it better to cut off one end of the extreme to prevent the hurt, to prevent the disorder? Isn't it better for more people

to limit what one can do so that the largest number of people is the most satisfied? What is so wrong about that? Do you find problem with such a simple dream? Am I so wrong? I'll admit, I mean, it's laid back, certainly. And I'll also admit that sometimes the competition can

tear families apart and result in feuds and bad blood. Yes, that's what makes people free. But what good has freedom done? What good has agency done? It has allowed men and women hungry for power to tear apart those less fortunate, those with less power or station. Look at all that Virgil Zurn has done.

The free will of one man has cost so many lives, cost so much strife and conflict. Imagine if he submitted to the same rules as everyone else. Would there not have spared so much sorrow, so much agony, so much disorder? But the free will of my ancestors brought me and my people from the Coney Islands.

If they had not done that, they'd still be in the harsh cold mountains of Drakkar. I'd still be following all the rules in the monastery if I didn't have free will to just leave.

There's no creativity or muses or inspiration in a world like what you're describing. I wouldn't be able to think of new music pieces. They'd just be the same notes over and over and over. Forbidden chords, that kind of thing. Just because the tempo's too fast, it's right out? Yes. But it is better to stay in the middle.

It is better to live orderly. Look, perhaps the past two dream worlds I have dreamt have not been convincing enough. But surely you could all agree in a world without crime. You see over there that table, and she gestures, and there is a portly man eating, um,

eating oysters with this very small fork. And he's surrounded by several smaller men, but they all seem to be very similar, of kind of sunken in eyes and dark, slick back hair. And they seem a little familiar to you as you, as two gestures over. Those are the highest ranking members of the Genovese family.

the most vicious crime family in all of Galtica. They had been planning a heist into a vault of one of the collectors of a black market trader. But now, they have abandoned such plans. There is no crime in this Galtica. They are simply a family now. That's Gia Vessi? Yes. There's about to be a crime. Bucks? And crazy? You know what?

a world without crime. Do you know how many that family has killed for their own aims, their own greed? In this world we see is the

tendrils are kind of getting into the food as they eat. They accidentally pick anyone up. Eww! Dang, someone's been watching Edward Penis Hand. Eww! Don't turn it on right now. Please, nobody. They're not penis fingers, it's penis hands. How does that work?

Not very well, if you've seen it. Come on, watch it. Don't watch it. Don't watch it. Don't Google it. Don't even think about it. Oh, no. But if you do happen to Google it, it's Edward Penis Hands Eat Spaghetti. But don't Google it. But don't. But if you happen to do. I'm only telling you what it is so that you make sure you don't accidentally. Please avoid it. Edward Penis.

Penis hands eat spaghetti. You have to watch it clean, Scott. Just don't. Just don't do it. I'm so upset. I know that you might think about it, but now that you know what it is, you can make sure your fingers don't type it. Tell them Nikki sent you. Pretty sure you're the only one driving sales on that.

- It's too late, I too have cursed with knowledge. - It's a memetic agent, you can't get it out of your brain. - See the thing is, I say it and I feel that people don't believe me that this is a thing that exists. - I don't know. - It's awful. And there will be a link on the website. - Just thought I'd have the name fully, is it Geovesi? - Yes, it's Edward. - Not Geovesi. - Oh no, Edward Geovesi. - Sorry, sorry. - Geovesi. - Geovesi.

I know that they're, I mean, a really awful family. They're infamous. They rule the underworld of Galtica with an iron fist, but...

Without that friction, we don't improve. We don't grow. Everything just stays the same in a morass. It's an arms race that's meaningful. It gives purpose. Well, those who have been victims of their heinous crime would disagree. But I would enjoy you. I would implore you to enjoy a world without crime. And in a flash of a golden light, she disappears. So, we need to steal her.

Yeah, that sounds like a good crime. Yes, what do you think? I mean, you guys want to do a heist? It's fucking Galtica. There's all kinds of crazy shit we could get up to. Sure, I haven't done a heist before. Sure. Are we going to steal? Yes. Oh, that's so dumb. I would like to steal. Well, I wouldn't. Then I will steal twice as much. There's got to be some other way. I mean, us sailing and us drinking, maybe it's not orderly, but it's not wrong. What is drinking?

Drinking. Oh. Us drinking. Sure. Versus, and us sailing, again it's

It's not ordinary. So, who do I need to distract and who's going to do the stealing? Well, first we have to decide what we're gonna steal. Well, you didn't seem to like those people over there eating. Uh, yeah, I was thinking I might go over there and try to pull the fabric off of the table real fast to see if I could get everything to... Have you ever seen that? I've always wanted to try that. Yes, but that's not stealing. No, but it would be. I'm taking the fabric.

It's not valuable enough, I know. Well, you know what we could do? We could steal their lives. That sounds like murder. Well, yes. Both of which are a crime. That seems intense. They're dream people. That's true. And you look over, and as they're eating, they seem to be very sad about something. They all kind of are...

You see that the Don, the one who finishes his last oyster, and you see a tear running down his cheek. And they all seem to be in some kind of mourning. Can I go introduce myself? I don't see why not. You seem to have history or at least know who they are. I mean... I mean, everyone's had a run-in with the Gia Bessie gang. So would it really be so bad if you were just to, you know, do them in quick?

No, especially if they're green people. I mean, I could give him what for just in honor of all the folks that they've screwed over over the years. Well, if you want to go talk to him first, I don't really see the harm in it, but you know, maybe, you know, make your own decisions, I guess. Okay. Free will and all that. Uh, yeah. Um, I will be right back. Uh, if I give you the signal to come over, it'll look like this. Okay.

And we should just walk right over? Yeah. All right. Okay. All right. I'll turn and I will cross the dancing floor where I assume some people are slowly enjoying the jazz music. Yeah, you see that there's actually a few couples now. They're taken to the dance floor in this club. And you realize now that the Giavesi family has their own private section where there aren't many tables around. It's very quiet and intimate.

And you just step past these dancing couples listening to... You see that there is this...

This woman in a very tightly hugging dress and this beautiful slate-colored skin and this shocking gray hair as you realize an Earth of Genasi is playing on the piano. And this is the most diverse of all of the places that you've been to so far. Although the Geoveses are humans themselves, there's people of all races here in Galtica, the Melting Pot, you know it to be.

and you make your way towards the table as they are brought some cocktails and the trays of their finished food are brought away. - Hi.

- Hi, my name is Capriccio De Sesto. You can call me Caprice. I just wanted to introduce myself. I'm a musician and you guys look a little sad. I'm wondering if maybe you want some ways to perk up a little bit and enjoy your meal a little bit more. I've been sent by the house. - One of the younger, the two gentlemen on either side of the dog looks at you and says, "Did we ask for a musician?"

I'm scanning them to see if they have any valuables on their person while I'm also talking. They definitely have very large rings, and you can see that there is a pocket watch going from the dom's pocket to the chain. I know you didn't ask for one, but I've been sent specifically to raise your spirits. Make your quick check.

Man, I'm not rolling too great. 21. 21's not great. He rolls a 7. And he starts to stand up as he starts to kind of shuffle out of the booth. And he's starting to stand up and you realize he is not particularly tall. He's a human, but he's probably no more than 5'6 or 5'4. And he says, I don't think you heard me the first time. And then you see the guard put a hand on his shoulder and says,

Now, Pesto, have a seat. Let's hear what the boy has to say. Here we go. Now... He's been waiting for this all night. I finished my oysters. I finished my clams. I have my favorite coming very soon. But I think I'm tired of this piano music. I think I'd like to hear what he has to say. You look familiar, boy. I don't think...

I recognize you, but I don't recognize you. You know what I'm saying, do you? No, but all right.

So what do you got? This the rest of your band? And he gestures over to the rest of you. Is this the rest of your band that we're gonna come around and zip up? I'm going to reach into my pack and I'm gonna slink behind Lufty and I'm gonna put on a little black dress. And I'm gonna start spinning my tail around as I walk over to the singer and I'm gonna use it to whip the microphone out of her hand.

And I'm gonna use my tail to hold the microphone and I'm just gonna attempt to performance check and start singing like a smooth jazz tune in my soft alto voice. I'll at the same time walk up behind the piano player and be like, "Take a hike, broad." In a gruff voice.

You just make an intimidation check actually. Me intimidate? No, she's intimidating. You're making a performance check. Yeah, so my performance is going to be really bad, but I'm going to do it anyway. It's a 17 for intimidation. 17. You... Seven. She looks at you and despite being far taller than you are, she kind of like looks at you and...

sees that there's a bit of animosity there, her being an Earth Genasi and you being an Air Genasi. And she just, like, huffs at you and realizes that the person who you came with is talking to Don Giovese. And so she just immediately stands up and walks away. And the music stops. And as Iris, you grab the magical artificer thing

enhancement device that looks similar to a microphone. Oh, why did the music stop? Oh, no, it's very awkward now. And it's very quiet and you see as the shorter of the two brothers looks forward whose name is Pesto, you realize says, okay, skinny boy, what you gonna do?

Well, I have to understand a little bit more about what kind of mood we're playing to. My musician friends and I are seeing that you're such a privileged and special guest of this restaurant. What's bothering you? Maybe we can make some music about it. Make a persuasion check. At advantage because you asked the right question. That's going to be a 29. God damn it, man. Fucking nose, man.

A 29. As Giovessi, he looks at you and he looks down. He seems sad. Then the waiter comes over and it's a large plate of a pasta of some kind. It looks like kind of a squid ink plate.

pasta maybe filled with seafood as they drop it down and his two sons are also served and he looks over and he says well it's my it's my Donna my dear Donna Mufalena how dare you she's sick you see and the only known cure is in the vault of

these black market traders and we're done with ICE. So she just has to, she doesn't have long, devil boy, she doesn't have long. So I, you ask the mood that I am in, you ask the mood that I am in, it is one of melancholy. Deep melancholy, devil boy.

That is so hard for you, I am sure. That, you know, I feel like that's a really sad story. Here, let me, and I'm going to get down and let me just give you a little comfort and hug. Just a little comfort and hug to make sure that you know that you feel supported. I know that you can't pull off a great big heist anymore. I put his pocket watch in my bag. I know that that's really tough. Yeah.

Make a... This was going so well. It was going too well. What do I make? I'm robbing you. I need a charger or my phone's right now. Let's find out if a 17 is good enough.

He seems so overwhelmed with melancholy that he doesn't notice as you grab it. Meanwhile, I'd like to know what the two fine ladies at the piano that scared away the entertainment and what you two gentlemen are doing. I'm standing there awkward. I don't know what to do with my hands. I'm in this fancy club. I'm severely underdressed. I don't understand what this music is. I am confusion.

personified. And I'm standing very close to tell because I don't know what else to do. And I'm keeping my eye on Caprice, like waiting for some sort of signal. Okay. Okay. Got it. And where did you pull that out from? I don't know. What happened? For some reason, I have a dulcimer. She's been carrying a dulcimer around this whole time. So,

I'm gonna... There we go. I'll play on my... I'll play on my... Is that a draw? No, a hammer dulcimer is like a... It's like a... Well, if it's a hammer dulcimer, if it's the same thing, it's the same thing. I think I would go for like a hand... It's essentially a piano, but you have the hammers in your hand. It's a stringed instrument. Yeah, dulcimer, generally, there's strings, and you usually pick it like this. Okay. Oh, like a ziffer. A ziffer. Well, no, like a dulcimer. You like keep it in your lap.

It's like a mountain dulcimer. But a hammer dulcimer, you basically use the piano hammers in your hand. Yeah, maybe. That makes sense. It's sort of like a piano string. I'm sure you could pick it. Yeah, I've never seen a hammer dulcimer, but I know that it can be used in a computer. Jared, can you smite the computer charger, please? Could you pass the computer? Kind of like a xylophone, but it's a string instrument, not a... Thank you. Not a... What do you call the... It is a variety of xylophone. A xylophone.

Oh. Okay. All right. I'll acquiesce. Suck it. I'll acquiesce. Suck it. Do what she says. I'm going to pull that out of nowhere and start playing some strings. Just Google it, damn it. We did. Okay. You know what? I would say in this situation, because it's a dream world, you could attempt to apply what you know about your dulcimer to the piano if you would like to attempt to play it.

That sounds great. I will put down my pink jazzy flute. No, my pink jazzy glasses. Oh, you do have those. I gave those to you. I'll pull them down and get real jazzy and try to play the... Make a performance check and add your proficiency just in this situation. I just use... Performance check...

That's not very good at all. 11 and then what's the charisma? Oh, 11 plus 7 is 18. Okay. Wait, is that right? No. Is it? Plus 2. And you take the track and you've seen pianos be played before. You've traveled the world and you get a sense from your musical knowledge is you manage to get a very simple tune as Iris, you pick up

these microphones. And you're going to let out a cat-like wail. As a cat-a-roll. Babies!

It's like completely off key. I'm like purring in there. I got a seven on my upper form. It is. My hips are swaying from side to side. I occasionally swing the mic and as it comes back up to my mouth, I let out a loud yelp and a yelp. Like you're feeling yourself. Babies.

It's awful. It's absolutely awful. You see as the dog kind of looks back and says, is that your part of your band? Not every seven keys I am way off. Do I feel like I've successfully taken a bite of lunch? You get the sense that he's distracted by his melancholy. I was thinking, Iris is wailing, has distracted him so much. As Geovesian and his sons. I'm so proud of us. I guess that's why they call it scat. So proud of us.

That's pretty funny. That's really good. While he's, like, leaning in to tell me this, I'm, like, very stone-faced. I just, like, go in my pack, and I, like, rip a piece of cloth, and I roll it up, and I put it in one ear, and I roll it up, and I put it in the other ear, and I just, like, don't even hear what he said. Don, I'm not going to lie to you. These aren't musicians. Yeah!

They're up there on stage right now because they kicked the people out who were playing the music. They took what they wanted. And I'm going to pull out a fork and I'm going to start to twist the squid pasta in front of him. Let me tell you, you can just... I know you're very sad and we're not supposed to be doing the crime thing and the heist thing, but you can just take what you want. Look, it's so easy. I took your pocket watch right off of you just now.

and you see the larger-- - Well fucking played. - Good. - You see the larger brother and you give him a two-way check. Get up. - At advantage because we're very distracting. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, at advantage. And he can see them like, "Hey, what the fuck are you doing?" And then, what'd you get? - A 30.

As the don puts his hand on the larger son and says, Now calm down, Pistachio. Your name's Pistachio? Oh, my God. It's just a really great name. You must be real hard nut to crack. Do you know how many fucking times I've heard that joke? I swear to God. Pistachio, calm down.

What else are we gonna have words later? Sorry, Bob. As the Don leans forward and he looks at the pocket watch and he takes it back and he says, You know what, devil boy? I am impressed.

I am very slightly amused. On this day that I am feeling so much melancholy, you have brought me a tiny bit of joy to my very stone-cold damn heart. I guess it's my pleasure, sure. And you do raise a very valuable point. You're terrible musicians, right? Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep

I hope Capri-San reads it out. I just look at Toa and I don't register. So what? You have my attention now as you eat my squid ink and clay and pasta.

It's delicious. I can give as much as bad as I want. Would you like to sit and eat with us or are you going to get to the fucking point that we're at? I'm just saying that if you need to pull off a heist in order to get your daughter the medicine she needs, go right now. Do it. Just... You got pesto, you got pistachio. Let's make a pasta. As...

As he leans into each of his songs and whispers, and then he leans forward, "Are you going to provide assistance with you and the rest of your not-band to help us engage in such a heist to procure the medicine for my dear Donna Mofilana so that she may live to enjoy another winter holiday season?" Absolutely. It'll be our pleasure.

I approach, as soon as I see the signal, I hastily walk over. To end the song, I swing the mic around towards my face and I go, I stop playing. The entire restaurant is silent, except the Don nudges Pesto and Pistachio. And it's like...

And they all start clapping, and then everyone else starts clapping excitedly. And then as you leave and walk, are you coming over to her? Oh, yes. The Urfinasi kind of almost just steps over and glares at you, Lufty, and she sits back down and starts playing a very basic tune.

as you all approach Don's table. Don, we can pull this heist off. I mean, between your muscle and our smarts, I mean, they're not going to know what hit them. We'll take this out from underneath their noses as easily as I could take this sheet out from underneath your plates without moving anything in one motion. What? What? Oh, I'm sorry, Caprice. I missed some of that. What were you saying? Don't worry about it. We call him Death House. Yes.

What is it that you do? I mean, I see that you're the muscle very clearly. What is it that I do? You have muscles? Well, but... Yeah, what is it that you do? If I understand correctly, you're just trying to get something from somewhere that is, what, heavily guarded? Behind some doors or in a vault? Yeah, it's a vault of some black market traders. They secured this...

By ill-begotten means, but because crime is illegal, I can't do it. Do you know where the vault is? Of course I know where the vault is. Do you know what the inside of it looks like? Yes, of course I do. If you could draw me the way it looks, I can get it for you.

Are you being very serious to me right now? Are you some sort of magician? Are you going to snap your fingers and provide me the magic? Are you going to expect me to believe on that? Yes, sort of. Yeah, that's exactly what I was going to do. Give me a cocktail napkin, please. He gets it. He pulls out a... And just, you know, the more detail that you can give me, the more successful that this will be and the less likely that I'll, you know, fall apart.

He sketches out something as he looks at the rest of you. Besides the piano and singing, what is it that you do as part of this heist operation? Well, it should be very clear, obviously the cat meddler. I mean, that does, I believe it. That tracks, that tracks very much. They call me Selina. You didn't do that.

The cat burglar, okay. Okay, you got a full crew here, devil boy. How about you? How about you? I'm afraid of bats. I never met a bat I liked very much. So I guess I agree with you there. I get one. But honest, I think they're my favorite animal. They're very cute. Okay, you. Little one. What's your deal? You know, I do a little of this, a little of that.

What exactly would you like me to do, Pitkin? Okay, I'm already so... They don't rule anything. You see, this is exactly what she does. There are guards that we need to distract. Meat. Lufty, I don't have a new name for her. Well, I mean, Lufty, why don't you come here and sit with me? Pesto, get the fuck out of here. Okay, Pop. Yeah, Pesto. Okay, Pop. As he shuffles off.

Okay, you know what? I am amused. I was not expecting to do this because crime is explicitly forbidden.

I gave up those ways. The tendrils are kind of folding into his jowls, his chin rolls, as he hands you the cocktail napkin with the very poorly drawn, you can definitely see like there's some sort of slight penis looking shape on there, as if I had drawn it. - Yay!

All right, well, Caprice, all you gotta do is get me within, like, you know, 500 feet of this thing. It's as good as ours. Oh. What building is it? What district? Make one final persuasion check at advantage.

- Advantage style, I like advantage style. That's gonna be a 31. - Woo! - A 31. He looks at you, at all of you, or he looks to Pesto and Pistachio and he says, "You know what? "I believe that you can provide this for me. "You know what? "I've been feeling a lot of things that I want to do. "And I felt a lot of conflict lately. "But there's one thing I wanna do right now, "and I want to steal."

and suddenly reality shatters. As soon as I start to feel it, I'm going to try and quickly grab the sheet of fire.

Make a dexterity check. Roll a cool cut! Please, Nael. A two. You find a little thing that doesn't make it six. As reality shatters. Oh no, wait! To an infinite number of lines. Flies everywhere and chaos erupts. I can do it, I swear! I can do it, I swear.

as the heist begins, but reality shatters. And you are now back at the very end of this hall of history. - Fuck! - Oh my God. - Honestly, I felt like you were very close. - I was close to going outside and getting a breath of fresh Galtican air. I didn't get my breath!

But can we talk about Lufti? Did you hear us? We were spectacular. Me? It was all you. You were so good. You were so good. You were so good. I couldn't believe it. You kept up with everything. I tried really hard. I could hear it. But there were some notes where it was like only dogs could hear what you were singing. So I got lost. I've been lost. I've been practicing it since I was a girl. Nobody say anything. It was so great. What did you think?

Don't- Toa, tell me honestly, what did you think? You loved it, yeah? Yes. It was great. I've always wanted to be a performer. It was very good. Yes. Thank you, Toa. Oh, we're gonna leave. Oh, you want to be in the band?

I would be... Well, what are you capable of doing? We could do, like, a tryout, maybe. Yeah, but... Well, we're not currently... Just get your hopes up. We're not currently having auditions, but... Well, uh... You're a friend, so... And I know you can sing, so... Yeah, I can sing. A backup singer is a possibility, I guess. I can reach into my pack for something that isn't there, and I... Oh, there it is. A pull-out baby rattle. I can also do this. Well, it's... I feel like it could...

Jive with what we're doing. Uh-huh. Felix, what did you think? Oh, um, well, truthfully, uh... My tail is whipping back and forth happily. I only caught the beginning. I was so overwhelmed with emotion. It was unbelievable.

We are very passionate musicians. You're a wonderful friend, yes. I can tell how passionate both of you are. Anytime you want a bedtime song, just a lullaby, I would be honored. I will absolutely... You don't even have to ask. No, I will let you know. Every night. All right, I will let you know. That is wonderful. Well, we should continue and I'm starting to enjoy this. I do see why Izuki is...

Four.

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You all are at the edge of the... you see the stairs once again going downwards into the... you see those beautiful murals of all around you, the brilliant shades of gold and jade and red as they paint beautiful pictures of Grigiani, the Eternal Blossom, going all around the world.

You see a scene from Carchinos, from Yonah and Mahmoud, all the native people with tendrils from their chin in peaceful submission as the beautiful blossoms of golden petals drift on the wind. As you see the dream of Ajani. As you make your way deeper, the next room that you enter

We're having getting darker and cozier in that library room. Now, you have to almost cover your eyes as the brilliant shimmering light from within the next chamber dazzling with all colors

Every single color of the rainbow and more as you enter and you see that it is a whole room full of these beautiful crystalline shapes of all different shapes and sizes that are all fastened to the wall and then many is floating in the air around you. And as you look around, you see there's lights that are humming emanating from within.

And as you look closely at them, you see that they're strange arcane symbols that are kind of pulsing and appearing and disappearing. And Felis, I need you to make an arcana check. An advantage. Given the... Given the... Let's fucking go. Dude, I am on... I am just rolling like hot fire. Two on this one and one on that one tonight. Yeah, both of these. I'm just fucking... So I keep using them.

You said Arcana? It's gonna be a 29. - I would say with that roll, you step in and you're familiar with how many humanoids have kept track of magical secrets, usually on scrolls, written down in books and tomes. But you now remember something that you had read deep within the libraries of Zentra.

of how the dragon, the books are a relatively recent invention to the dragon race, the dragon species, and how the magical secrets that they keep are in artifacts and crystals. You look around and the wealth of all of the magic in the world surrounds you. Damn. As you see all manner of spells of schools you recognize and

Some arcane runes of spells you might even know and you get the sense of, but you could spend a lifetime untapping secrets that even Virgil Zarn would blush to think of. As you see that even farther up, you get a sense of magics even forbidden from anything that you would have ever been taught. As you enter this brilliantly shimmering room of magical crystals that swirl all around you,

Rajani's private collection. I relay this to everyone and I'm sweating profusely while I say this. I mean, books aside, this is everything. I mean, we could just unlock everything.

So what do you do with it? Do you, like, smash them on the ground and the magic comes out? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You... I don't know. Mike didn't tell me he was going to throw this at me. Pick it up. You have the ability to almost weed them, but you have to know how. And, I mean, even that in and of itself is just a...

An art that isn't really known to many people. It's like a book, but it's sturdier. I mean, books disintegrate, they fall apart. But like, a crystal is... it's minerals, it's... Well, let's stop playing her stupid games. Just find the crystal we need and we'll beat her. Easy peasy. Could one help Caprice? It's like a get-out-of-deal-free card. I guarantee you that some of the crystals in this room could reshape our universe.

I mean, time and matter and everything, everything would be at my will. I could do anything. I could do anything at all. If nothing else, if nothing else happens, I'm coming back to this room. I don't care if the whole thing's coming down. I don't care if, as long as we get everybody out of here, I'm coming back here and I'm grabbing as many of these crystals as I can. So the plan is, go save Virgil,

Deal with Golden Lotus, get the glaives and the chaos rod and whatnot. Come back here, solve the universe, free me, get your brother back, and then we're done, we're dusted. That's good. Do you remember when I told you that you can't change the past? I do remember that. I'm not so sure that's even true. Oh yeah? I'm just saying.

Don't let your imagination limit you to what could possibly be in this room. I could go back and kick my great-great-great-great-granddad in the nuts for everything he's put me and my family through. I'm just saying, don't rule it out. It's your grades. Don't rule it out. I won't. I'm excited. I would take them now if I didn't think it would just ruin everything. No, we should keep going. I know, I know. Let's keep going.

I know. You're making progress. Let's go. Come on. You're doing really good. Yeah. You feel like you have to pull me along. If it makes you feel better, if this is like unknown booze from across the land, I probably would have already taken it. Right. Right. So good for you, little buddy. You little buddy. You're my little buddy. Why are we...

I swear to gods, if we find out that we could have just touched all of this stuff and fucked around, I mean, we're relying on the word of Azaki. Don't remind me. I don't think that guy could lie even if he really wanted to. That's true. That's actually a better argument in the other direction. Let's continue. Good job, Toa.

- You get a gold star. - I don't look for it. - You continue and you see, and it's difficult to not have your gaze drawn towards the crystals high in the ceiling and you get the sense of what it would look like for a colossal golden dragon to just soar through the dancing, shimmering, magical crystals.

that she could potentially tap into if she cared to. As you see that there's, and Felix, and your eyes are drawn upwards and you see magics, glimpses of runes transporting to other planes or even bringing back the dead and even reshaping, reshaping and using the power of your pure will to reshape a mantras.

As you step forward towards about halfway through this room, and you are once again consumed in golden light, your consciousness leaves you with one more. You hear the rain before you feel it. The gloom is far more familiar than anything else you've experienced. This is neckbending. As you hear the roiling storm clouds over you,

as the wind howls and the rain almost goes nearly sideways, as it pelts you, as you struggle to stay warm and wet, as you're nearly soaked and chilled to the bone almost instantly, as this dream world forms around you. You see fires dotting the landscape, as you see the rolling hills

what's unmistakably Korovakia, and not, certainly not Nekhthah. As you look out over the river, Carlisle. As you see the camps and makeshift fortifications of the Korovakian military, those familiar banners that had plagued your worries and thoughts and fears so long ago now seeming so far away, as you see up ahead

Another front. You had been through the front on the Eerio side. You had been through the front on the Gron side, but you see this spire-like mountaintops, the dense, dense, dark forests and all-consuming, threatening mist looming over you.

and off in the distance it almost looks like the dark stone of castles rising up in the distance as the lightning crashes and illuminates them. As you see architecture that is certainly not of the humans of Korovakia, as just across a very small river is unmistakably Skaerthraniel, the land of the Dusk Elves, the Shadarchai. Mysterious even to you, Felix.

as you see two Korovakian generals in a discussion. Humans once more, through their coarse, but well-trimmed facial hair, fleshy tendrils going down to their chest as they are having a measured conversation. And there's a grimness to their face. And you look around and despite there being a front, you look across and you finally see the

encampments of certainly Dusk Elves on the other side of that river. And despite two armies on either side of the river, a field ripe for battle, there are no bodies. There are no remnants of war or bloodshed. Just a group of men and a group of elves. And with a crash of thunder, you see it illuminate the white fur and black stripes, Golden Lotus, as she emerges.

I trust you enjoyed your time in Galtica. It was alright. Was it not pleasant? You could have picked any place in Galtica and you had to pick that jazz club. There's so many nicer spots. If we ever have an opportunity to go, I can show you. There's much, much more to offer at Galtica than... Continue. Do you feel now the desire to return there? I feel it every day. Then I've made the right choice. And now here...

A world without raucous revelry, a world without... Racoose. ...competition, a world without brutal competition, a world without crime. Perhaps now you will see my side of the story in a world without war. Do you see? We are at the site of what should be a brutal bloodthirsty battle, but yet there's no clashing of forces. War is over. There have been

Sacrifices made. Men will die this night. But what is 20 to 40 men? The lives of hundreds, thousands. As she looks at the sheer number of forces on this front. The tomb has been captured to be sacrificed to the darker powers as Shadarchai are known to do in this land. But imagine...

The forces required to rescue them. Imagine the sacrifices that must be made. Far greater number of men and elves would need to die to save those men. But yet these generals, they wait and they do nothing for the greater good. And those men awaiting the execution do not know it, but they have made a noble sacrifice. For what is 20 or 40 in the scope of thousands?

You must see now what good a world without war would be. Truly. Do you not see my brilliant dream? What I have spent my life striving towards? She has a point, Felix. I know I didn't want to be the first to say it, but I hate that she's making sense. And if the captain were here, he'd throttle me for even suggesting it. I know it needs to be done, but...

I don't like that I'm tempted into kind of agreeing with her. This is the first time I think I've agreed. War is terrible. You don't have to tell me. But what about sacrificing people against their will? That's terrible too. Of course it is. It's better than thousands of people dying. But is that not what war is? If they go freely to it. Who's free to go to war? They're not the ones who started it, but the ones that have to pay for it.

War is nothing but sacrifice on both sides. You see my dream in this dream of mine and yours. A flash of golden light.

I ask myself that every day.

It's just horrendous. Why do you think we drink so much in Kirchstein? I'm starting to understand you a little more. We... Look, even if it isn't real, how can we advocate for war? Because it might save those people that are about to be sacrificed. Well, they're all dream people, so... Right, but that's how we can justify it.

"Is that if we go to war and we implore these generals to fight, maybe they can save those 40 million?" "Well, to be fair, I'm not really a fan of stealing or murdering people." "And I was willing to convince... what was his name?" "Don Giovanni?" "Yes, him." "That it was alright to do little things." "So, all for the sake of the fact that it was a dream." "So, what makes this any different, really?"

I told Lufti to punch an innocent man in the face. And I did it. And she proceeded to straddle another and tie his fleshy tendrils in a knot. She tugged on Toa's front tail and Caprice made a human tornado. Human tornado. The only reason that this is different...

It doesn't have anything to do with the dream itself. I know that this isn't real, but there is war in the real world. And it happens every day in Horovakia. And we'd be basically saying that it's okay that that just happens every day. Well, is that what we were saying when we were promoting thievery? Or murder? No. We just simply knew that we had to do it to get out of the dream. Don't you see that we've gone from spectrum to spectrum?

On my side, when we were there, it was the lighthearted, it was the great joy and drinking and fun and partying, and now we've gone to the other side of it. Remember that you can't have one without the other. She's not wrong. The war, I don't abide by, and if this were the real world and not a dream, I would not be trying to get groups of people to go into a war together. But without joy...

Without sadness, there can be no joy. Without life, there can be no death. It is all a balance. And in this dream, if this is what we have to do to get out of it, then...

You must do it. And I bet if you talk to both sides of these people, they're both angry and they both have complaints and they have no way to resolve it. So killing each other is the way to resolve it, Lupti? No! But I mean, what are they going to just rot with all that pent-up aggression in them? It'll kill you! Okay! They'll die anyway! Heart attacks! Alright. Stress! It's a killer! Let me start by just talking to you. You said they were generals? Yeah.

Let me handle this. Just give me a minute. I'm going to go talk to them. Real quick. Do you know what a Shadar Dusk Elf looks like? Yeah, yeah, of course. Do I know what a Shadar guy looks like? I would say, why don't you make a... What would that be? A history check? A history check, yep. Took the words out of my mouth. A history check. Yeah, I'm going to go with a 22 on that guy. Yes, you would know that these are...

The Shadarchai are colloquially known as Dusk Elves, are elves with a connection to the Shadowfell. Predominantly, you would know that most of them come from Striga, and that they are elves with a slight violet hue to their skin. Okay.

Definitely a lot more dour and mysterious than the classic wood elves or high elves that you're used to, and far rarer. But you may have met one in your travels, especially in the seedier underbellies of ones that had left the dreariness that is this. And you honestly seeing this now, and what you know about Galtica, you wouldn't blame them for an instant.

Okay, um, you know, if you aren't making good headway with the general, I've got an idea. It's a terrible idea, but it will work. So just give me like a... or something, and we'll be on our way. All right, I guess I'll trust you. I guess so.

And then I'm going to proceed to walk towards where the generals are standing. And you see that one of the generals is actually turning to leave and it's a bit of a middle-aged man with a

with a full beard, stepping away, and the general that's left is a female general, seems to be in her 40s, with shoulder length, a little bit past that blonde hair, and these striking green eyes. And she turns to you,

as almost expecting a salute as you approach. - As soon as I see that she's noticed me, I'll snap to attention and give her a salute and say, "I'm sorry, General, please pardon my intrusion. "My name is Felix Ackerman, I'm a private with the Talon Guard." And I flash my dagger that's at my hip. "Please pardon my appearance, I've been undercover "and it's a very long story, "but do you mind filling me in on what's going on here?"

She looks at you. Make a persuasion check at advantage, I would say, just for this whole situation. Uh-oh. My first bad rolls of the night. I was due. You guys have twists. Let's twist it. I was due. Let's twist that. I'm going to sub in one here. Come on, baby. There we go. Much better. Persuasion is... Thanks, chat. 18. Thank you so much for the twist, chat. She looks at you, and she nods at you at ease.

as she looks at your dagger. She's very stoic in her appearance, but does seem to flash a bit of surprise. And she says, Talon guard here, all the way out here on the front lines. Felix Ackerman, what have you come here for? Well, I noticed that there was some sort of... I received some intel that there was a...

group of hours that have been captured behind enemy lines. Yes, you're right. It's a toon. Forty men captured by the Dusk Elves. There's nothing we can do. There's a ceasefire and there is no more war in these lands. None. We can do nothing to save them. They will be sacrificed to the dark powers that these Shadarchai kneel to.

Well, I appreciate the update. That was the first reason that I was here. But I was hoping that someone with expertise such as myself from the Talon Guard might be able to help. She turns to you and her tendrils are down past her chest. As she looks and surveys you and doesn't seem to notice that all these people don't, that your chins are completely bare. And she says, What hope is there, Felix Ackerman? If there is no war, we cannot save them.

What do you suggest I do? Well, to start, this is exactly what the Talon Guard is trained for. This is the kind of impossible stuff that we have to deal with. And me and my, I look over my shoulder, highly trained unit are here to help. Before this, I would have wanted to have tried to sneak around the camp to see if I can get close to the generals or something along those lines. If there's any way...

There are a number of tents and temporary structures built up. Give me some 25 on that stuff. You should be able to sneak your way in whatever way you wish. I'm getting closer to the conversation, perhaps within Eager's distance. Roger that. Me and my highly trained unit are here specifically for this purpose. Again, like I said, I didn't know much coming in, but that's why I'm here talking to you right now.

And I know, as I was trained, that we don't leave people behind. She surveys you. I appreciate the men and women of the Dagger and everything that you do. But regardless of whether or not you do it stealthily, saving those 40 men and women is an act of war. And a battle will wage if you go in and save them. What would you have me do? Would you ignite a war to save 40? Would you do that for those lives?

Or do you not think that their sacrifice is worth the thousands that could die in the resulting battle, whether you save them or not? I think, with all due respect, General, if you asked the men and women of this army what they wanted to do, they wouldn't leave their brothers and sisters on the other side. And that if they had the choice, they would fight for them.

persuasion check and advantage

17. 17. Not bad. This is the problem with me. She narrows her eyes and she thinks as she strokes her tendrils. It's pretty disgusting. LAUGHTER

Thank you for just driving that in. I know I say that I don't like body horror. I've been using it a lot. I really feel like I've been paying shit up, man. Just so you know, he's disgusting. You are disgusting. You're disgusting. He actually would be maybe kind of attractive to Felix if it wasn't for the horrible tendrils. It really is disgusting. Fair enough. And she looks at him. She looks at all of you.

And says, and she doesn't almost seem to register that they're all non-humans. And she just seems to accept that the rest of you are all Talon Guard. As she then looks at you and looks at all of you and says, you and all of you soldiers of the Talon Guard, would you yourselves sacrifice these hundreds or thousands of men and women

for the 40 awaiting their execution? And would you be the ones to start and ignite a battle when a ceasefire and peace has finally come over these dark lands? Would you be willing to go forth with your life with that burden on you? I won't answer for anyone else because again, this is about making a choice. Each individual has to make a choice and my choice would be to save my brothers and sisters. That would be my choice too. Peace for some is not peace.

That's deep, Lufty. I don't have anything to add to that. Thanks, Dor. She, as she looks at all of you and just nods slowly, she then turns to you, make a persuasion check in advantage one more time. Oh god, you're really pushing it here, Mike. That is not my strong season. One more time. You got this, Terry.

Let's fucking go. Another 18. It's meant to be. Another 18. She thinks for a moment, and she looks over at the encampment far on the other side of the ridge, and it's insane how across the river the landscape changes to such a brutal, inhospitable place, to your estimation. And she...

You can tell that she's weighing the lives of the men and women awaiting their dark sacrifice, their execution. And she turns to you and says, "Very well. If you wish to make the call to ignite war and sacrifice thousands for the sake of 40, I will let you raise your dagger and make the call. As a member of the Talon Guard Special Forces, you have rank here. You make the call. Felix Ackerman."

This won't be the first time that I've had blood on my hands and it certainly won't be the last, so I'm making the call. General? You tell them, not me. Then I would turn to, I would assume it's not the entire army, right? There'd probably be some officers. Do you realize there were two lieutenants and commanders there as well and they're all waiting orders. They're all looking towards you. All right. Thank you, General. I'll turn to the officers and I'll say, there are men and women who've been captured.

We are not going to stand idly by while they're sacrificed in some senseless ritual. I know what I would like to do as an individual. I'd like to save those people. And as I stated to the general, I believe that if you asked any man or woman here in these camps, they would say the same thing, that they would lay down their lives for their brothers and sisters. So with that, we must do what we must do and ride into war as soon as we can. That is my order.

The generals, or rather the lieutenants, the commanders and the other officers simply nod. And there's a series of blasts of a trumpet. And you know that means war. Because immediately, your dagger, despite only being a private, out here with just infantry, that means something. That's from the heart of Zentra. These people may not have seen for months, if not years,

as they immediately mobilize, ready to fight and die for their comrades, as they begin to form ranks and march towards that small river. And you see now, you hear the loud screech of a bird overhead as the lightning crashes and illuminates a lone circling vulture overhead as it flies in the other direction, and you hear the

Horns of the Shadar-Kai, the Dusk Elves, blow as they begin to form ranks as well, as the fires roar. And they form ranks and begin to march as war ignites once again in Striga. And suddenly, reality shatters, and you are ripped out of that gloomy night. And you return. On the other side...

Oh dear god! T'oh, I'm gonna be sick! It's alright, it was just a dream. You did it! You did what you had to do! Yeah, you did a great job! I need a minute. I was ready to jump in there, but you handled it by yourself, no problem. No, no, no, no. Oh, Felix. It's okay, none of those people were real. They're dream people. That's right, just dream people. No one was really in danger, but you did the right thing. Those dream people might dream survive.

When we stop Golden Lotus, we have to do what we can to actually bring peace to these lands. These people are going to be fighting forever and I don't know how to stop it. Maybe that's not your place to stop it. It's their choice. Just like it's my choice to go out and get drunk all the time, it's their choice to keep fighting.

Or maybe the Chained God becoming unchained. Like Iris said, maybe that will be a uniting force. Oh yeah, or maybe that. All the people of Shriga, maybe. There you go. People need to work together so that this being doesn't come and destroy everything. I hope you're right. It'll be okay. We're doing what we can. Alright. We should continue. Yeah. Yeah. You do that.

You leave the rows of beautiful crystals behind you as the arcane knowledge of lost, of untold amounts and ancientness and the erudite secrets. You muster up the will to leave behind as you continue downward

Once again, the murals showcasing the glory, the beautiful utopian world of Rajani, the eternal blossom. You continue down the stairs, the murals of the utopian worlds of Rajani, the eternal blossom around you, and you see the people in these murals, the subjugated masses, but there's a peace to them. And you've seen the

results of that piece in these various dreams. Now realizing very plainly that each of these dreams are reflections of each of you. The tone, the atmosphere, how she is seen in each of your souls. You now realize how she had so easily become such a critical part of the Dancing Blade clan of those orcs with that knowledge that she has. As you descend through an archway,

as the light that's on the other side is so blinding, you realize this isn't the light of crystals, the light of magic. It's the light of morning, of dawn, as you feel the air on your skin. As you step into a beautiful glade, not that different from the glade of the Golden Lotus at Mogra Kai, but

It's beauty enhanced. You see the draping willows, the blooming golden blossoms that drift from the wind and fall down into a beautiful pool. You see a brilliantly scaled fish leaping out and jumping back in. You see a crane raise up from drinking some water and then fly away as it sees you. As you enter this beautiful place,

space that we hadn't seen out in the mountains yet is here. And as soon as you step into the space, there is no opportunity to move forward as reality breaks and you are all ripped into again another dream world as dreamt by... I bet I can guess on what world we're going to. Yeah.

What? Back to Galtic. Exactly right. The brilliant sun rising from the east now has shifted, sweltering above you, beating down as you feel the arid heat of the desert. It's a dry heat.

Sorry, Mike.

- Taste the meat, not the heat. - As you see the rolling deserts, but a large river snaking through the landscape with great stuff.

as large reeds rise from the banks and brilliant grass and trees all rise around and there's a verdant landscape and farmlands all around this river with desert just not too far beyond. But in this modest village that stretches before you, you see a number of, a large number of villagers going about their day.

as you see boats sailing down the river, large sails, but not in the same square or they're not in the same shape as what you had raced on in Toa's dream world, but of a clearly Necabeshan design.

As you see now all of the villages around you've been so used to predominantly humans, you now all see tabaxes. They're fur of all variety of colors, but they go about their day carrying large jugs of water from the banks of the river, going about to tend to the various fields. As you then see as a large cart is brought in to town,

drawn by camels. These large, very sturdy, heavy-set camels as they grunt and they spit, as they roll forward. And a very plump cat sits in the carriage and looks out at all of the villagers and peasants going about their business. And as you all take in the scene, you see another tabaxi

But unlike any of the ones that you see in this village, it's the familiar white tiger form of Golden Lotus. She looks at all of you. So do you not see the benefits of a world without war? Do you not see what was the horror and bloodshed that was avoided in Striga in your time there? Iris, what the fuck is wrong with the horses and neck banners?

I've got nothing. I've seen the valley of a world without war. But how could you sacrifice individuals? I've got nothing. They have no chance. But what is the good of an individual when the greater good of the masses is far more widespread? What is one life? I've said this before.

I can see that you have doubt in your minds. You have doubt. I can see it. I can sense it. I do have doubt, Felix. You know that I am right. I don't have doubt. And now you see here. And she extends her hand as the cart is rolled into this village. As the heavyset Tabaxi gentleman steps out and you see a number of guards armored and

armored and with these large curved spears. They then go from door to door knocking, demanding taxes, demanding their tribute to the royal family, to the crown, to the nation of Sakaat. And Golden Lotus turns and says, a world without war is also a world without rebellion. You see,

there could be strife here in this village. This, in particular, has had a rough harvest, not enough to make ends meet for themselves, not enough to pay what they owe to the Pharaoh. And you see that if there is enough strife and discontent, there could be whispers of uprisings and rebellions. And you see, when the taxman cometh, there could be whispers of bloodshed, of cut throats. But here,

In a world without strife, without conflict, without uprisings, they will give all that they have, even if they will surely starve, if it means preventing conflict. And therefore, the royals and the nobles can rest easy. They do not have to fret. And the order of the world as it has been built remains. And you see that there are emaciated tabaxi.

coming from their homes with tendrils hanging from their chins. And you see as they pull out their coffers and the moth flies out, almost comically, as they pour in the last bits of coin. And when it's not enough, they grab one by the scruff and they start bringing it out to their food stores to give to the taxman and his guards. And she turns to all of you and says, this is

would normally be a hotbed for rebellion. But in a perfect world, in my utopia, there is no conflict. They stay quiet for the greater good. An order is maintained, peace is maintained, and surely it is not worth the strife and unpleasantness of conflict. And in a flash of the hot desert sun, she's gone. How can she say that? They're starving!

This is not a positive outcome. They're all going to die anyway. Look, I can excuse war, but taxation is where I absolutely draw the line. Taxes are bullshit! Tell us how you really feel, Felix. I'm kidding. I don't excuse war either. I take all of that back. I don't know, Lufty. These people look like they're in pretty rough shape. This is...

This can't be the norm! Don't you talk to daddy? Tell him to back off? This is not a product of my... This is a horrible dream scenario. My father loves... He loves the people of Siketh. He wouldn't force them to starve like this. He doesn't tax the people? Well, of course he taxes the people. He has to. But not like this. But maybe you can tell the tax people to... to go away!

Well, yes. Excuse me, tax person. Hello? Hello, tax person? Locking on the door? You see the cat look at you, and he has this bright orange fur. As he looks at you, and he steps forward and says, Yes, you have a problem with any of this? My name is Iris of the Sands. I am the daughter of the Pharaoh of Sikhet. I would like you to stop taxing these people, tax man, please.

Just shoo. There are roads, travel on them. Shoo. Away, please. As in the daughter of the pharaoh. That is what the daughter of the pharaoh tends to mean, yes. Ja, I see starter. Of the Sans, of the Sans family. Make up a space and track. 23. You have to realize here, we're just providing the taxes to the pharaoh.

We're giving him what he's due. If we skim a little off the top for ourselves, that's between us and these foreign folk here. Well, you've just told me, so now that's between you and the pharaoh. That would not look good for you, would it? For his daughter to tell him that you've been stealing from the people of Sikhet. Oh, no.

Look like, look at you in those clothes. They look lovely, not quite as lovely as mine, daughter of the pharaoh after all. Obviously. But you're looking good for your stature. I do alright. Those clothes wouldn't look nice and moth-eaten and dirty when you're thrown in a cell. I'm like pumping my muscles and backing her up. With your head on a pike. For treachery? Make an intimidation check.

Well, I personally am intimidated. Can I use a thing? Yes, you may. Yes, that's why they use a twist. Oh no. Wait, did you do it at advantage? What? I re-rolled. Dang it. You said intimidation. I'm very intimidating with a 12. That's not bad. He looks at you and says, you know, lots of people tell me they're nobles. A 14. Or royalty.

But like I said, it's between us and all of my muscle and these fine folks. And you know what they're doing? They're being good little peasants and giving me what I am owed. And I'll give your daddy, whether or not he is your daddy, what he's owed.

and everything else ain't between us. Would you like to kill him? Because I would like to kill him. It's between me, me lads, and them. And he points at all of the peasants that are looking very emaciated.

That's why I'm the tax cat. I am going to slam my staff down on the ground. Why not? Well, it's about to be between the two of us as I pull up my storm of insects just around the two of us. And in a booming voice using thaumaturgy, I am going to yell out, the daughter of the pharaoh, a priestess of Anubis, demands that you kneel. I'm so hard right now. Oh.

Make an intimidation check and an advantage, please. I hate this guy. I hate him and I want to kill him. You said intimidation. And advantage, correct. 25. Nice. 25. As soon as you do that, you slam your staff down and you hear all of you be buzzing of insects as it's not cicadas. It is a horrible storm of locusts, or not locusts, of scarabs.

as they burst out of the scarab-headed staff and they swarm around the tax man, his cart, his camels, and all of his guards. And they all look terrified. - Well, I wanna separate him from everyone else. - Roger that. - And then I wanna whisper, "Are you feeling lucky without your backup?" - And as it swarms around just the two of you, the rest of you have

outside, see all of the peasants start to come out of their homes and see Iris stand up to the tax cap. As he then is looking at you, eyes filled with fear, cowering as he falls to the ground,

I didn't realize! I am sorry! I will never skim off the top again! As he is groveling, cowering, sniveling and pleading, not expecting, as all of the people come out of their homes, and you realize, as the guards, despite being heavily armed, realize there's far more of them as they are of them. They're far more of these farmers and people in the village as they, as there are guards. As they begin to start

moving forward towards this camel drawn cart towards the swarm of scarabs towards the tax cap as they all draw curved swords sickles some with just daggers as they start to move towards them and he looks at you and says please please I beg you mercy I'm going to look down at him

Give them back their gold. And he says, he looks at you, eyes filled with absolute fear. And I think you should skim some off of your top. Provide them extra. And he looks and he doesn't have anything. And the people are way ahead of you. They were inspired by this Tabaxi who's standing up to the tax cat.

I've been handing out signs. Similar like protest signs, like, you know, no taxes, no, I'm a tabaxi, not a taxi. You do that. I'm like, oh my God, I'm breaking things.

And the wagon is torn apart by the peasants as they descend upon them, and the bags are torn apart. He is then dragged away, screaming, as people come in to grab him out of the swarm of insects. And he says, no, I swear, I swear. And despite being just high and mighty so long ago, he is reduced to,

to cowardly tears is that people rise up and they cheer the name of Iris of the Sands and suddenly reality cracks as you are suddenly returned to the chaos of that rebellion. - That is absolutely horrible. My father would never. He wouldn't, right? - I don't know. - To be fair, I guess I don't truly know. I know him.

He's always been kind. All you can do is learn about it. And it didn't sound to me like that was your father. He was stealing off the top. It takes money to make a society go, but it has to be fair. But a little off the top for a pathetic, worthless piece of waste of space like that is not enough of the strife that those people were suffering. I will get to the bottom of this. I will know.

Is that really what horses look like in neckbets? Because that was really fucked up. Yes, they are neckbession horses. All right. Their spine just like... Yes. That's messed up. That's how you can tell when they're pregnant. Do they have one hump or two? Twins! They were in a dark area. They had one hump that you could see. Ah!

Alright. Um, um, well, perhaps maybe once this is all done, you could talk to your father about his taxation policy and maybe convince him to make some changes if that really is the case. I've never heard of double check. Yes. Well, one thing at a time, yes? Right. Did anyone else absolutely hate that man? Oh, yes.

My voice again, sorry. It was terrible. The tax kid was terrible. It was awful. They weren't eating, it was awful.

Oh no, they took a pretty boy! He had a muffin and I didn't! Oh no, he took his muffin! I'm going to harm that child with his muffin! They were starving! Please don't! His food was marbling! I'm sorry, what were you saying? Are you feeling alright? He was kind of a jerk.

I think you're sobering up. Have more wine. I know. Is that your real voice? I don't even know. It's canon now that when you're sober you sound like it. You look out and there is no where to go. You see as you're on, you're in this beautiful glade, but it looks off as it drops off into what looks like a cliff. As you stare off,

into the dawn coming from the east. But what you see stretching before you is not Striga. It's not Grond. You see tall, thin mountains covered in beautiful greenery, sprawling fields, farmlands, beautiful mountains snow-capped off in the distance. As you look ahead and

There should have been ocean for how far you went, where you are, but you see the vast lands of what those of you who are well-read must know to be, looks like Yulong. Stretching out before you, the beautiful dawn as the sun hangs, unmoving, filling this entire space with beautiful light of morning. You were in this glade.

Seemingly alone, the pool ahead of you, the golden blossoms falling down from the trees that flank it so gently, and then drifting on the surface of the water until a fish jumps up and snests it up, disappears beneath the water. Is this real? This doesn't look like...

Striga! Yeah, it seems like we should be able to see the sea from here. There must be some kind of magic supply. I mean, this can't be natural. Another kind of, like, dream? I don't trust anything here. Where is she? We've done all her tests. We've broken her dreams. I think she got what she wanted. I can't speak for you, but my heart is in pain over the things that we've seen. The things we've had to do.

Just to get to this place. Just a free herj. And I... I feel demoralized. We've been through hard things, but they had to happen. And we had to make a choice to make them happen. And that is the point. But now I have doubt. Why? Doubt in my family, in my father. I have doubt for going to this place where Felix warned us. The war. The bloody wars there. The sacrifices.

You're falling into the same trap that you yourself were convincing Toa about when we first started this whole journey. Well, yes, I had resolve in that this is how things work, Caprice. I had resolve in the beginning, and now I am tired. I haven't had a bubble bath. I don't remember the last time I rubbed essential oils on my fur, and it is starting to dry out. I have muck beneath my fingernails, and now I think my father might be in bad luck. Your dream father.

Well, my father is my dream father. He's perfect. I love him. He's beautiful. But the version of your father that... where Johnny decided to show you. Felix, is there a war? Yeah, Korvac is always at war. So, what happened there was true.

Tour? Is there a boat challenge thing where sailors don't jump on and help the kitty get across the water? There's a sailing competition every year, of course. Thank you. Lufti, is there a wonderful beer festival? Do I even have to answer? Do those strange people eating that disgusting pasta exist in that jazz bar? Yeah. So, all those things considered. Yeah, but...

They would be happening anyway. So if we went into these dreams and we did nothing, it would be people being sacrificed and people not competing and not enjoying the fullness of life and not having good times. And I may be lost a little bit with your story, but...

But my point being is I was blissfully ignorant to what my father might be doing. But now you don't have to be. I feel like I might not be blissfully ignorant, and I am having conflicting feelings. That's actually extremely reasonable. Well put. After we solve the universe, let's go and tell your dad to stop taxing so hard. Won't you take over someday? No. No.

No? That's why I went into the line of only business. I see. Yes, middle child. Often forgotten. I was going to suggest maybe you could just change it. The problem in that dream was not that... The problem was not...

Well, I mean, the problem was taxing, but the problem was that the people weren't standing up for themselves. The taxing wasn't ceasing to exist. That wasn't going away because of her fantasy, no-conflict life. But if my father is taxing people and he isn't guaranteeing that the people who are doing the collecting are honest, then... Yeah, but maybe he would try harder if the people were fighting for themselves. If a...

If one of the commoners walked out of the house and sliced apart one of the tax collectors, they would die. They would be killed. Maybe, but if 50 of them walked out against it, maybe he would say, "Okay, something's wrong here. I should hire people to not be so shitty or I should tax less." I don't think that he would do that. I don't know him. I know him. A little. He bought you that one dress.

And he said I looked beautiful. Yes, he's bought that dress for many, many women. It was just... I know you don't want to hear it, but he is a diplomat. He will say and do whatever he needs to to gain your trust. You should know this better than anyone. Yeah, we're two peas in a pod, really. Yes. And if Daddy had any designs on you, my mother would have you killed. Oh, that's fair. She's terrifying. Yes. Well...

I think that a war without debauchery, competition, crime, war and rebellion, it does sound kind of nice. Yes. But it would cost. Well, it would cost me. I won't stand for it.

Is there anywhere like to continue or we like to feel like we're at the end? So you are just at the entrance. You just basically came down the stairs and there is the beautiful, the beautiful glade out ahead. And there is that the that shimmering water with the beautiful golden scale, rainbow scaled fish that looks out into what looks like a whole different continent. Does the fish look like it popped out of a book?

Yeah, maybe. Yeah. It looks very, uh, it's not, it's not that book. It's not going to get away all the scales. Nope, nope. You've been missing the lead here. Uh, the fish looks beautiful. It looks picturesque. Like it popped out of a book. Potentially, exactly right. I think we need to continue onward and see where this place is.

We could walk right through that and be in another place in the world, almost on the other side. Let's go, it looks beautiful at least. We've got nowhere else to go. That's where Herge is. I say we let we do it. Let's find her. You make your way through this beautiful glade. Golden blossoms falling around you as the wind, not a wind, as much of a soft breeze

whips through the morning air as you arrive, all of you, all five of you, right at the edge of this pool. And as you do, suddenly reality shifts and breaks one last time. And what you see is actually not that different than where you just were. You are at the top of a mountain looking off into the valley of Yulong. And you feel movement behind you.

And you turn to see the staircase from which you came, but you just look. There's the top of the snow-capped mountain and the great sea beyond you. And you turn back around, you feel the presence. And it is no longer the grinning Tabaxi of Golden Lotus looming high above you, brilliant in her golden scales, fleshy tendrils like a catfish descending down many feet.

You see the discerning eyes of the exact same creature, but in her true form. Rajani, the golden lotus, looks at you and she takes in your presence for a moment, but does not speak to you. She turns away and surveys the land beyond as the morning sun rises in Yulong. There's a wistfulness to her look.

as she stretches her massive golden wings and takes in, almost soaking in the morning sun. As she looks over and you get a sense, magically, perhaps spiritually even, although the land below looks beautiful, it almost looks serene and peaceful out of a storybook, like the fish and the birds. You can see that the discerning eyes of the dragon see the world for what it is.

The conflict, the strife, the war between the humans, an emperor that rules from a great city on a lake that subjugates, that causes so much strife, the jungles, poor souls torn apart by manticores. So many lost to the squabbles of mortal lives and a great overwhelming sadness comes over the dragon.

And you see a large shimmering golden tear drip down from its eye to its long snout and down its left tendril. And it drops into the pool as it weeps for the mortals that it desperately wants to help, but it does not know how. And there's doubt that comes to this dragon's mind. And you have no idea how you know this, but you know there is doubt.

There's despair, there's anger, there's fear. And it turns to hatred and pride for knowing better than these mortals. As it begs for an answer. It begs for a solution. But as she looks out over the land, she makes no noise. But she hears the flapping of wings. As she stares out over the land of Yulong, you see black feathers. As a hawk.

daintily lands on a branch beside her and looks up towards her. Six red unblinking eyes peer up and it lets out a squawk and the dragon turns and looks down at her new companion. And those six eyes look up to her too and there's a sense of understanding between them. And she leans down her massive golden head as the

jet black beak begins to move. And a great sense of understanding comes to this dragon. And suddenly with a flash of black feathers, it flies off. The hawk is gone. But the dragon has a sense of resolve and it turns around, heaving its massive shape. The largest living creature that any of you have ever seen. As it turns back to you.

And she stares down at all of you. Do you not all see the future in the world that I see? A utopia, a perfect world, a world of eternal dawn, of light, of good, of order. Would you mortals stand in the way of a world of peace? And you feel like you can respond. As if this dragon from the past, the present, you're not sure.

But she is now calling to you, and it is a dream world. And you all stare down at the reflecting pool, and you all see yourselves, and you see her, and you realize that each of these dream worlds has been a reflection of each other. And now this final dream is a reflection of Rajani, as she attempts to show you the world that she sees. What do you do? No, I don't, I don't...

I don't want that world. It's not right. It's not... It's not free. What do we have if not our freedom? I'm the tower. If... If... You have to make your own choices, and if you don't choose that world, it's not for you. It's beautiful, but everyone has to make that decision for themselves. That's right. If we learned nothing else from Captain Freewing, it's that liberty at any cost. He would be disgusted with...

The way that I was thinking earlier. I agree. You lost me back in Kirstein. Moderation for drinking? Get out of here. Just fuck off with that. The Draconic Head turns to you, Iris. What are, in this world of yours, that you force upon everyone? What are you but a tyrant? Washing your will upon everyone. You claim to want to stop

You claim you want peace? It is not for you to decide. She shakes, her massive, draconic body, her golden scales brilliantly catching the rays of the sun as her wings extend, her tendrils flying back and forth. A tyrant, yes, but a benevolent tyrant, one for peace, for harmony, for justice.

Would you prefer a tyrant in the mortal wills of Virgil Zurn? Would you prefer the tyrant within? Thank you. As the ground shakes with each of her steps, the wills of the tyrants, of Scythraniel, of Eriot, of Garond. I know what's best for mortals. I know what's best. And she looms over you.

I have tried to show you, my world, that what I want is best. That freedom does not mean what's best for mortals. And if you disagree, it makes me weep. May I ask you a question, Golden Rose? Eternal Blossom! Yes, yes. Rajani! If you truly wanted to be a tyrant, I do care what we think.

If our free will does not matter, why did we need to come to this decision ourselves? Why didn't you force the decision upon us? Unless you yourself do not truly believe in your goal. Because I do not know how you can resist the power I have gained. I do not know what he has done to you. How you maintain the will that others do not.

How you maintain the chaos in your souls that he has bestowed upon you. What will he has for you? Who is this he you speak of? You know whom I mean. But you, if you do not see the utopia that I wish for you and for all mortals, then we are enemies. I have tried to bring you to my bosom. I have tried to bring you to my side.

If we shall fight to the death, then so be it. You may proceed, but you must be cleansed, and then our fates are intertwined. My will, or the free will of mortals. Let it all come down to this. The pool will cleanse you, and beyond I await. If I shall die, or you, let it be the will of what I have heard. The will of the six-eyed hawk.

And reality shatters. Well, I don't know about you, but I'm not jumping in any of her cleansing pools. Did you hear the madness of that? As the dragon fades away, the vision of Yulong is gone. That same shimmering vision of what you see ahead of you, but the stairs behind you. The dragon is gone and you see the beautiful, crystal clear waters of the glade before you. She doesn't sound like she's...

She sounds like she's going mad. I agree. I was going to say, yeah, I'm raveling a bit. Who do we, uh... Who was she talking about? Ray. I asked because I truly did not know. Some entity bestowed chaos upon us? I think she means Virgil Zurn. But she didn't talk specifically. I thought that in the moment. But she also mentions Gethrenil and tyrants all over the place. So I don't think her fight is solely with Zurn.

Right, it doesn't really make any sense. I mean, I know that we have, we receive blessings from, you know, the Raven Queen, but we've received blessings from numerous deities and demi-beings alike. It couldn't just be Zurn, right? That doesn't make any sense. So what other he could she mean? I'm trying to remember. This is...

Long time ago now, in real life, when I was compelled to fly up to the top of the mountain, when we were stuck at the top of the ice mountain, do I remember the statue having six eyes, or was it just the... It had six eyes, four wings, two arms. What if the he is... Do you guys remember when we were standing in that tower?

And I told you that I've been compelled to go up to the top and there I'm not saying anything right now I'm just saying could the he be he? Maybe but you're not compelled by whatever that being it she did say chaos maybe the being of chaos is he not We know very little a demon a demon Lord. He saw him when we were angels

We saw him fight with the other demons. With the... I think back to the name, what was the name of the, like, ancient elder demons? Miska the... Oh, the Obereths. The Obereths. He was one of them. He was one of the Obereths. The being of chaos. I think you're right. I think that's exactly who she means. And it's almost as if she doesn't realize that he is also controlling her. He's the Six-Eyed Hawk. Maybe we can convince her instead of fighting her.

I don't think she can be convinced of anything. Maybe we can race in with her if she wants to stop this chaos. Of course we can try. She's working with chaos. But we can't do that until we get to her and she wants us to dip ourselves in this pool. And I'm not sure about you, but she's being controlled by that raven. Sparrow. Hawk. Hawk. Hawk. She's being controlled by the hawk and I'm not sure I feel comfortable dipping myself into a dream pool.

I have one question, out of character. How much about dragons in general would I know, having learned Draconic? I would say it would depend on what you want to know. You know that there were tomes in Draconic about dragons in the libraries of Zentra.

And you know that's how you knew about those crystals. So no matter what you want to know. I would want to know what Felix's knowledge is regarding like the biology of the creatures. So... Like how much would he actually know about dragons? I would say you know that they're inherently magical. You know they're inherently tied. Make a...

History check advantage. Or arcana, your choice. Oh, like my house on shores. I've got to do, to quote a wise man, I've got to do some whiz biz. Oh, actually, my history and my arcana are the same. They're both in, so I didn't know that. Learn something new every day, folks. Excuse me. That'll be a 25. A 25. You would say that you know that they are beings of raw elemental powers.

They have a deep connection to the world. That there are the chromatic, which are the evil dragons, and the metallic, which this is, they're supposed to be good. Do I know the elements that they kind of represent or stand for?

You know that, I would say that you would know that, probably very basically, yeah, that you would know that a gold dragon channels the power of raw elemental fire. Okay. And is probably the most brilliant, strongest, most magical, most powerful of all dragon kind. That's what I wanted to know. Yes, she, yes, a golden dragon is the most powerful that can go toe-to-toe with a red dragon physically, but also has magic that outshines a red dragon. Got it.

Look, if we have to get in the water, I'll look at the water. I'll put my hand in. What's the worst that can happen? Toa can pull me back out like he did when we first met. Yeah, but what if it, like, I don't know. What if you just, I don't know. What if Zorgle happens? What if it doesn't cleanse you of something negative, something positive? What if it takes away your free will? We've come all this way. Yes, throw him in.

He doesn't need to throw me in. What if you get the chins? He has a good point, though. I will cure him of whatever that is. That is a good point. I could restore you if you were to tend to the chin. I know you can. If you get chingles, we'll be all there for you. I know, I know, I know. And I would hope that I'd be able to at least maybe defend myself a bit against any kind of magics that are going on in the pool. And look, I'll start to go in slowly. And if things look bad...

You can just take over. Take me out. Pull me out. Toa, we're trying to say something. What am I just saying? Felix. I'm just saying that we've gone through her whole life this whole time and we've done exactly what she intended us to do and she showed us everything she wanted to do. You know, that's actually a good point, Toa. So at this point... If we're going to start a war, we might as well jump into a pool. Exactly right. We've gone through a little... And I was also thinking... Prisons. Prisons.

I'm going to take my hat off, kind of ruffle my hair a bit, take my coat off, hand them both to Tela.

All right. I'll kick my shoes off, take my socks off, roll up my pants. I'm not taking off my pants and my shirt, but roll my sleeves up. Boring. Just down to the tattered sailor's pants, fisherman's pants, and that disgusting shirt that I stole so many moons ago. How have you not bought a new shirt by now?

That's crazy. I don't really have a need for material things, Caprice. We've been over this. I spend all of my money on magic stuff. In this Dungeons & Dragons, we don't change our clothes or costumes. I mean, I haven't taken my shoes off in three and a half years, so I guess that's fine. If I lose this hat or I change my shirt, you wouldn't even know who I was. That's fair. That's fair. If I was to shave off all of my hair and retract my claws, you wouldn't be able to pick me out of the lineup of sphinxes.

Dagger in hand. You look so gross. I'm sorry. I have a lot of wrinkles. I approach the pool. I'm going to stand very nearby. You do that. You approach the pool. You sure we don't want to rope you up? We could pull you back. How deep does it look? It looks not that deep. It does slope down to where you can't see it. You see some fish going around. It doesn't get that deep right away. I think, you know, you can pull me out. Or I might even be able to just...

Blink right out. Take a breath when you get to the genitals level. That's always the worst step. Shocking. All right, here I go. And I'm going to take one step into the pool. You do that. And begin to try to wade into it. You wade in, and you step in, and the water feels incredibly pristine. Some of the cleanest, most pleasant water that you've experienced. And as you step in, you feel...

just how filthy you've been. You feel how much demonic taint you have on you. You've been coated in the gore of Baphomet, the king of beasts. You've been surrounded by the horrible negative emotions of anger, despair, doubt, fear, hatred, pride. You feel all of it well up around you. You feel the sense, the weight of all of that in this beautiful cleansing pool. And all of you watch

As Felix looks and turns to you,

and immediately gets sucked down beneath the surface. As the water turns from a beautiful pristine to a bubbling, roiling black pool. No, Felix! I'm just gonna jump into the pool. I'm right behind you. You leap in and get sucked in immediately and the water gets more bubbling and black and colorless and shimmering with white and grays and black and grayscale.

Well, that confirms we should not go in that pool. I hope the edgetoes can get him out. Let's wait. No! Cannonballs! Oh, gosh! We've lost Caprice. And you see Caprice gets completely sucked in as it boils and roils and it's shimmering with this black. I'm going to take my spoon out and dip it into the water like a lifeline.

You dip it in and you feel the water rise up and goop and make a strength contest against the spoon. I have to assume I will lose this.

Yes, with a nine. You get sucked in as the spoon grabs you. I'm sorry, 14. I roll the natural 19. Okay. As you get sucked in. That's my fool, what?

- Oh my god! - As you get pulled beneath the surface. - Iris! - Oh, me, okay. I was gonna jump in anyway after the spoon. - You grab in with your spoon and it latched around your wrist as it goes up and pulls you in. As Iris, you are left alone with all of your comrades having pulled beneath the surface. - That is unfortunate. - I wonder how long it will take them to figure out how to get back out until then. - I'm going home.

I need a picnic! Do I have any? That's snack. Ooh, do I have that? Shh! And my black noose? That's not fish. Oh, this is lufties. Don't need that. That's ass. Don't need that. Hmm. And I'll wait for a little bit. Whether this is taking longer than that. It bubbles and roils and gets worse and worse and worse. It turns the color that that chemical turns when you pee in the pool.

Is that even a thing? No, it's not. It was always horseshit. Can you have a jack please for me? Now you'll roll high. I know, I did. Yep. Horse that god. He'll be able to watch us die but do nothing about it. As I get a 29, you don't notice as the bubbling, roiling, slick ooze from this pool is

starts to slither around your foot. - Oh no. - As you need to make a single contest against it, it attempts to, I got a 17. - What kind of contest? - Acrobatics or athletics. - 49. - Good joke. - It's very impressive. - Unbelievable, gotta give it up. - 49. - Oh wow. - 49. - Thank you. - How do you get plus 29? - It's impressive, but plausible. - I'm a cat.

Oh, of course. I'll have to actually skip plus 29 on that particular one. I'll get a 14. You get a 14. As you're waiting, and suddenly you are dragged by your foot into the pool by this bubbling goop that you pull beneath the surface. And suddenly all of you clash into each other. You feel your bodies hitting each other, and you actually realize that beneath the surface...

It's clean and pristine waters. You see fish swimming around and suddenly you realize that you feel your despair, your doubt, your fear, your hatred, your pride and your anger suddenly leave you. All of the doubt that you've been experiencing, the taint of Baphomet that has drenched you since you've come to this dark land, as it

is dispelled from you and rockets from the top of this pool. Suddenly all five of you erupt gasping for air. Wet, as does each of you. You feel this gooping corruption

purified from you as it rips from your skin, from your essence, from your being, as it takes form and takes shape, as it forms into this strange half humanoid, half ooze, somewhat looking, you can't even tell what it is, but it begins to form a shape and all turn towards you with malevolent intent. I never want to roll for initiative.

Get rid of the map. Get rid of the map? I'm advantage! I'm advantage! We're just gonna get rid of it. We're gonna get rid of it. Oh, big one. I got a 1! Oh boy. That's not good. I have a 15. I got a 10. I've got some whiz biz to take care of. 15 for you. I'm after you. I got the 20. What's that?

So you said it forms like a human... It's this strange half-humanoid, but it has hands, but it's this strange, almost eel-like form that's this gooping, undulating corruption distilled into this massive, gloopy form. You're all going to be in the water.

I need 20 to 25. 21. 20. Oh, damn. Iris' gun is fast af. She's a cat! Toa? 20. Are we in the pool, or are we-- You're in the pool. You're all at the edge. Okay, we're all at the edge of the pool. And there's one on each of you, so there's five total. Yeah, you got it, you got it. Felix. 10. 50. Six. Oh my god. I appreciate he got more than me.

We'll put Caprice here. He got a 15. Oh, he did. Thank you. I rolled it down. I wouldn't forget. Okay. And put one in each of you. One of the five. There should be six, but we're going to put one through five. These are curly. Ooh, one through five. They're curly. Yeah, we need to order some card stock. Yeah, we do.

- We'll get that soon. - Just D&D string things, you know what I mean? - Let's stick it together, stick it together. - Wait, there's five. - Five, so you're in a six. - Oh, it's glaivey and cool like. - Iris, you are first as you see these black and white and gray manifestations of corruption cleanse from you, these negative emotions. The doubt that you'd felt from your father feels actually lifted from you.

as you face these monstrosities, horrible aberrations that are glooping down that this pool has purified. I am going to reach out to the one in front of me. I'm going to put my hand on it. And I'm going to cast Contagion. Contagion? Oh, hell. 18. That'll hit. I am going to

I'm going to inflict it with slimy doom. It begins to bleed uncontrollably. It has disadvantage on constitution checks and saving throws. And anytime it takes damage, it is stunned until the end of its next turn.

Roger that. The one out in front of you, you channel the power, the corrupting power of Anubis, which can heal and bring great life, but also bring great plagues, as it then starts to lose its form, as it bubbles and boils, its own form goopy, but then it starts to kind of gush down this corruption, struggling to maintain its form, as if it...

as it has no eyes, it has no face, but this horrible, slavering mouth that's filled with teeth in all directions. As it attempts to move forward, it seems to be afflicted by this plague of Anubis. Toa, you're up. Oh, and I'm going to call out to Toa. Toa, if you get a chance, can you please just whack the one in front of me just one time? Oh, I'll look at the one in front of me and the one next to Aris. Um...

I'll protect you, Iris! And I'm going to take, well first I'll spread my legs and I'll squat down and enter a battle trance and maintain hyper focus as I squat down. Apparently. You squat down. And then I will lift-- Your tissues glow. My totem, the spirit of Maka himself. First my original ancestor and I will raise it up and instead of stacking one in front of me I'll turn and come down on the one in front of Iris, number two.

And I will recklessly rage as I swing in for him. Is it Maka or Moku or... Well, the Makani Islands are named after Maka, the original. M-A-K-A. It's very different. Oh, that's a good point. I didn't even think about that. Actions. So that is a 21 to hit. That'll hit.

And I will... Notice that you do the makahaka. Oh my god, that's actually really good. That is really good. Okay, that is nine plus ten is nineteen points of damage from my first attack.

You smash into him and this corruption, it smashes through and the gloop flies everywhere and it is then stunned as it falls to the ground in almost a puddle of this horrible concentrated corruption. And you are next in automatic... Is that an advantage? What? What is stunned? No, no, no, it's not stunned yet. Oh, roger that. Okay. So I hit it, right? So is it...

It's not Sun yet. No, no, he has to do constitution saving throws to see if he becomes inflicted with slimy doom. I'm just letting Mike know I'm choosing slimy doom. I'll roger that. Should I attack him again? No, it's unnecessary. Kill the one in front of you. And I will turn back around and I will attack number five. Okay. This time I'm going to make it a power attack. Roger that.

That is a... 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22...

That'll hit. Okay. That will be, re-roll that one, a five, six, seven, eight, plus 20 is 28 points of damage. You smash into it and Gloop flies and one of its teeth flies out. It has this horrible maul of teeth. Take a look at what it looks like with these

straight spines on its back. It's basically condensed corruption that's been purified as you are attacking the concentrated negative emotions that you felt across this entire journey as it smashes across. Is that it? That's my turn. That's my turn. Yeah, and I guess I will try to... No, I think I'll stay right there. They are going...

I can't do it, I just look insane. As they all turn, and each of these shambling forms face you as these horrible approximations of Mal open and spew these negative emotions, this negative energy on you. You all need to make a charisma saving throw. All of us? All of you. Oh, that's like my worst one. Yeah, see, that's why I chose it. Natural fucking 20!

Like you needed the help. Yeah, big time. Big time. Charisma, are you sure, Mike? I got a 10. I got a 17. I got a 14. 23. I got a 10 with the gobble. All of you, except for Iris and Felix. Felix. Caprice. Caprice. Fail. Me? I need the three of you to roll a d6, please. I don't want to. Those that fail? Yep. Six. Four. Four.

- Oh, I see what we're doing. - You feel overwhelmed by the horrible sensation of anger. You need to use your reaction to attack either Toa or Felix, roll a D2 for me. And you use your full attack on whomever you choose. - One. - One, you're gonna attack Felix.

- Sorry bud. - You're gonna do your full attack damage as you are overwhelmed with emotion. - My full attack damage? - You do whatever your max attack is with like bonus and all that. It's not just one attack, it's your full attack. - So you will do double, right? - You'll just punch him twice. - Okay, okay. - Felix, what do you get? - Max points. - Punch him twice.

are petrified with fear. You overcome, you drop your dagger. - Oh no! - Into the pool. And you turn and you use your full movement to run away.

- Even if that's deeper into the pool? - Yeah. - Okay, I'll wait until she hits the shield first. - So I'm just rolling the damage, I definitely hit him. - No you don't. - Oh, wait, you're like, okay. - So my question is, is it happening simultaneously? - I would say she'll smack you as you're running away. - All right, that means I can't cast shield. - First is a nine.

That misses. I have 16. The other one I'm sure is gonna hit. It's 23. Yeah, okay. Barely misses. So it hits. I got a six. Next damage! You feel the... 16 plus five is 21. Nice. You feel the pride before the fall as all attacks against you are advantaged. Oh no.

Well, weren't they already? They already were! I'm very prideful. I'm glad I got six. You got six, right? I got six, yes. You got a pride. And then... Oh, then I gotta run. I can do it now. We'll do it now. Do what you're doing. So I'm just gonna be all the way at max distance about the edge of the map. Yeah, we'll say the edge of the map.

And then that's actually good for you because they come in. Nope, because it's not your, you're being forced away. Is it the monster's turn right now? Yes. Oh, so I need number two to make a constitution saving call, please. Ooh, that's a four plus a four, that's an eight. So that fails. Thank you. Failure. Okay. So is he stunned? No. No, he's going to fail three times. Oh, roger that.

So you see, as Felix runs away, overcome with fear, they now all are going to go in with their claw attacks. They form these horrible putrid claws out of their condensed corruptions. And we're going to have number three, as Felix runs away, he's not going to choose that, he's going to go after Toa, who is now overwhelmed with pride. And so we're going to get to its two claw attacks on Caprice. I'm good. That's fine. That's going to be...

17 on both of those? That's exactly my AC. Okay, that's going to hit. So we're going to do the ink. Ah, fuck! Fuck!

What are the six? Fear, doubt, anger, hatred, and pride. What's the sixth one? Say them again. Fear, doubt, anger, hatred, pride. Not necessarily in that order for the six that we have. 27 points of damage. Oh. Because they call into you. Now we look at me dance. It is anger, despair, doubt, fear, hatred, and pride. Look at me dance.

- Fear, doubt, what? - Anger, despair, doubt, fear, hatred, and pride. - My cock is like . - Are the negative emotions that are being spelled out. - Yeah, all right. - Two attacks against Irish number two. He's still going? - He's also disadvantaged. - Oh, 'cause of what you did? - Yeah. - Oh, I should've attacked him first. - That is going to be a 16. - Misses. - Okay, next one. - Double natural 20s. - No. - No.

That is pretty good. No, it's still not. But it's still not. But it's still gonna hit. Sucks that it's bad, I hate it. That's unbelievable. What is the chances of that? 1,400. So it is going to, he's gonna rend your flesh and you feel that it's double slashed with his claws. You channel the power of Anubis and you shield yourself in the scalding sand as it protects you, but it still rends your flesh. You're gonna take a bit of damage here. Ooh, not too bad. 14, 18, 19.

- You're pretty close to this damage though. - I am? - Yeah, you are, 'cause I attacked the guy first. - Oh. - Yeah. - 24, or 23 points of slashing and a craw damage. - So 11 points. - 11 points, yes. - I don't know. - 'Cause that'd be 22. - Yeah, you're right. - 11 points. - When was the last time I got double 90/20s? There's two Krakens on my-- - I think farewell. - Yeah, maybe.

With that, we have these four advantage attacks on you. Claw attacks. 26? You know, barely. 26, 24? Barely misses. Oh, wow. 15? Nope. That actually misses. 18?

This is... Wow. Only two hit you, so we're just gonna do two here. What's your AC? I was gonna say two in Kelsail. As they ran into... Oh, wow. Garbage, too. T-Rex noise.

12 plus, wow, 15, 18 plus 10 is only 28 points of damage. And is it slashing? It is slashing and necrotic.

- Yeah, okay. - Interesting. - So, slashing necrotic. ♪ Slashing a necrotic ♪ - Is a grand enchu. And one more on lifting. - No. - One's gonna miss and the other one's certainly gonna hit. - Why? - Well, yeah, that's the only-- - Tell me the number, Mike. - I'm not gonna know. - What? - 10, 15.

20 points of slashing necrotic damage. - Cheater. - I would like to channel one of my ancestors in the spectral kind of glistening blue form of a toucan, we'll say. - Ooh! - And it will fly through your form as you take that hit and the toucan will reduce your damage. - Did you just obliterate him? - Just follow your nose! - Wow! - Six.

So reduce it by 12. So you only take eight damage. Okay. So 12. Caprice, you are now up as these manifestations of corruptions of the six negative emotions that you've been feeling this entire time. And more so in the corruption of... You actually look and you hear them make this... Oh!

as you kind of hear the roar of a bull come from them and the slavering you hear, you just think they look like this horrible, the entirety of your journey, the corruption that is built over years of time is manifest in these single gloopy exteriors. What are you doing? Thinking of the bubbling, frothy pool that we dove into and found ourselves in this situation, I pull out my viol and...

Similar to how I would normally give it a drang to cast Thunderwave, I'm going for something a little bit more powerful here. So I'm going to go all the way down to the base and just go... I'm going to create a resonance with the cool around me. Oh, Raj loves that. Called Mr. Bard. That's my name now.

♪ That name again is Mr. Bard ♪ - Destructive wave. A huge tsunami suddenly erupts forward. All of them must make a constitution saving throw. - How's that? - And it doesn't hit us. - I'm gonna give number three disadvantage on that because he's in the cleansing waters. So one, calm. - Two is poison so he gets a-- - One is 10. - Okay, fail. - One is 10.

Two disadvantage, that's a fail. We're gonna give three disadvantage, too. That is a Catastroler fail. We're gonna give five. Oh wow, that's probably gonna succeed. That is a 21. - Yeah, 17 is what you need to hit. - Okay, four is gonna just do normal, and that's gonna be a nine. - Okay, so everyone except for five. - So five is the only one that succeeds. - All right, let's quickly do some thunder damage. That's gonna be nine, 11,

That's gonna be 20 points of thunder damage or half as much to the Succeeder. The Succeeder was number five? Five. Yep. Is that a word? Succeeder? Succeeder. The Succeeder. And then also some radiant damage is coming at us. Radiant necrotic, if that matters. I gotta look it up. Oh, I'm gonna choose necrotic. And let's go five, three, eight, nine.

- Necrotic or Radiant are you choosing? - I'm gonna choose Necrotic. I get to choose between Radiant or Necrotic since it's all bubbly and gassy. Five, 10, 14 points of Necrotic damage. - 14 points. - And all of them except for the one who succeeded are knocked prone.

Roger that. And you feel as the necrotic damage you've selected, as it crashes on them, does not do as much as you would expect. That's a disadvantage. You're not prone? No, I have to make ranged attacks when things are prone. That's fine. Fireball, fireball, fireball! Not without the dagger. Oh!

Number five does not take the damage or does he? Oh, he does. Are any of them still standing? Five. I'll turn and I'll be like, what are you doing, man? Get your dagger. Come on, let's go, let's go. And I'll inspire you with a bonus action. It bursts up and does not do as much damage. This necrotic damage you've selected, painted by the devilish magic of your blood and now what has claimed your soul for good. Okay.

not as much as you'd expect, but it's still blasted as all of them except for number five fall down and they're attempting to reform. You see an approximation of a humanoid arm rise up. You see a hoof form and then a claw and a talon and a humanoid hand as it's attempting to bring itself together, form again. Felix, you're up. And your dagger is right where you left, so it's not that far. Okay. I don't have to run anymore.

You know you've just run and you you overwhelmed by the negative emotion of fear Yeah, and suddenly you over you just not a day that I'm sure you've been dealing with this entire time and you turn back and suddenly The fear which has been cleansed by the pool is now manifested in that being in front of you got it You no longer feel that fear you feel the courage inside of you. No, no, no, no

Oh, my dagger, my dagger, where is it? Oh no! I'm gonna circle out, I'm not running into fucking melee range. And then I say, where could I have dropped it? It's fine, take this! And I rear back to throw a massive fireball at number five and a tiny fireball comes out.

Oh no. Oh, inspiration. I'm going to use it. Yeah. How's that? Okay. Not bad. That's a 12 plus nine is 21 to hit. That hits, absolutely. The firebolt erupts. You don't need your dagger for this. The innate arcane magic that you've studied, you channel forth and you blast this creature. Wait, are you blowing us up?

No, it's a firebolt. It's a tiny firebolt. It's literally a cancer. I thought you were saying bowl. No, I tried to cast firebolt, but I can't without the dagger. It was supposed to be funny. It was. I like it a lot. I know, I have a smell. You can study the DMV rules a little bit.

I couldn't hear him! They sound very similar! Plus five is 27 points of fire damage. Holy shit, for a cantrip? Puttin' cantrips, man, 3d10. Holy shit. Plus five. Plus five, yeah. Plus I get to reroll ones and twos. It's basically Eldritch Blast. Yeah? It blasts and it careens into the form and it singes and bubbles and pops and the smell is putrid. And this looks the weakest of all of them.

- Oh, damn it, I forgot I can't, there's no fireballs! - This is attempting to maintain its shape, but it is still holding on. With that, it is Lofty's turn. - Okay. That was number three that you hit, right? - That was five. - Oh, that was five. Oh, okay, cool. - He's doing it when standing. I don't have to-- - I am going to raise up my spoon and make an attack on number four. - Roger that, and then all of your attacks are damned on number four. - Thank goodness. - Yeah, thank goodness.

Okay, so that 17 plus nine, I'm assuming that hits. AC 17. Keep a key point to make that a stunning strike. Roger that. One D. Con is a 15. Oh, no, no, no, 13. 12 damage. Roger that. Wait, including your lightning or thunder? Oh, no, I'm sorry, I didn't include that. See, I gave you that for a reason. Thank you, sweet pea.

I forget what that adds though. Oh, that's the manacles.

I like that Capri still isn't quite sure what camels are. Me too. Sorry. I didn't get what you meant. That's 14 total damage and a stunt. It has to succeed a what? It failed. Oh, it failed. Okay, so it's stunned. And then I'll use a secondary key point to flip around here and make two spoon attacks on number three. Don't you get two attacks as well? Don't you get two attacks as well?

- On what? - So you get a double attack plus you can use a key to use two unarmed. - I can't, I have to, if I'm using the key point, I get two, otherwise I get one. - No, you always get double attacks. - If you wanna, if you-- - I always get double, but if I use the second to use the key, then I can get three max. I can't have four.

Well, no, so the idea is you can do attack, attack. Yeah, splint, splint. And then bonus action for free, a third attack, or you can spend a key to do two more attacks. So you get just two free, just basic attacks. And now it is stunned, so you get, I don't know how that works. It's just advantage. Advantage, yeah. Okay, well then I'll make another attack on four. For that, you're at advantage, you get another number four.

Ooh, a natural 20. Natural fucking 20. One does have to give it up. Smash your spoon into the corrupted form of this thing. Okay. TD, do you double the plus as just a dice? Double the dice, yes. Very good. Six? Six or nine? Plus the thunder lightning damage you choose. So that's nine. Well, I don't get that because I already made an attack on that. That's it for every attack. Every attack? Yes.

I really don't know how to play my character. Isn't that crazy? Did I urge you with the first attack? I thought it was first attack. Yeah, let's just say first attack for now because that makes a lot more sense, actually. That seems like really okay to me. Yeah, that seems really strong. Nine. So 14 damage. 14 damage. You smash into this and it is looking almost as rough as number five as well.

14, yeah. Okay, and then I'm, well, you know what, since he's being shitty. He's being a stinky bee. He's just being a stinky bee, so the key point will all spend for two more attacks. Roger that. That might not hit. A 15? 15 misses. You advantaged? Yep. They're both pretty low. And then this one will definitely hit. Yeah, you smash into it.

11 damage. 11 damage. He's still looking rough. Okay. But he's still holding on here. Rather than run for that, it's Iris' turn.

I am going to-- Toa is right next to me. I'm going to reach out and I'm going to pull on Toa's front tail and-- I'm just kidding. I am going to-- actually, it's within six feet, so I'm fine. Why do you talk like that? I'm going to look over towards Toa. Thank you for helping me, Toa. I appreciate it.

feel emboldened and I'm going to cast Shield of Faith on him. Damn! And so you now have... The protective sandy energy. Plush, yes. Make sure that that's touching itself. It's 60 feet and it's a bonus action. You can cast it on other people. It's 60 feet and it's a bonus action. A creature of my choice within range. This is Shield of Faith. That's what I said. Shield of Faith.

- Fesh. - Yes, Fesh. And then I would like to turn towards number four. - Four's looking rough. Both four and five are looking pretty rough. - Yes, I'm gonna turn towards number four and I'm going to pull the dead end. - Roger that. - 'Cause there's a bonus action in that action. - So, can't save me, though?

It's a wisdom saving throw. Regardless, he gets a, oh my god, a 12. Perfect, so he fails, and he's damaged already? He is. And we're 11th level? We are. Cool, thanks. Yeah, that means that your cantrips are all boosted. I know, and I like you. Well, this is so great. Because he's damaged. I know it's 3d12s. I'm trying to find him.

- Oh, the wind strike. That's a good one. - It is necrotic though, so it's gonna be probably half damage. - When we entered this relationship, we agreed. - 27 points. - 27 is the gong from-- - And it is necrotic. - The hammer and sickle, it rattles, it's just a gloop and struggle to maintain its form. It does seem to not do as much as you'd expect, being necrotic damage. 27 halved is, oh my god, 14. - 13, 14.

37 is... Oh wow, so it is struggling to maintain cheap, but it is still holding on here. Roger that. Okay. As Toa, you feel the warm, swirling desert sands and winds surrounding you. You feel emboldened as it is your turn now, blessed by Anubis, cleansed of your corrupted negative energies. Which one looks healthiest?

The healthiest of all of them is number three. Oh, no, no, no, number three and number one are tied. Since number three's right here, presumably it's in range of the attack main. Number four and five are the weakest. Number four looks struggling to maintain its form. Number three's also prone, correct?

You're right, yep. Number three, all of them except for number five is prone. Yeah. Okay. Give him the bonky bonk. I will make two attacks on power attacks as well, of course. That's a hit. Bonk. AC 70. Bonky. Totem bonkium. So that'll be one, two, three, four. Okay.

How can they live when you can make them die? - A 10. 19, 29, 39, 49, 59,

59 points of damage from my first two attacks. What the hell? And then we'll see if my Windfury procs. Yeah, they're definitely feeling fear, doubt, despair. It was two off, it does not proc. Wow. I guess you'll just have to settle for Vindicator. He's looking very rough, but he's still hanging on.

Hold on, and then-- He's the roughest of them all now. He's smashed and smashed and smashed into this corruption. I'm picturing the scene where they beat up the printer in office space. Exactly right. Exactly right. Die, motherfellow, die, motherfellow, die.

- And then I will do nothing else because I don't think I have anything else. - Okay. - Yep. - You have to make that horrible face. - You see as they start to heave themselves up, no longer prone, as they start to maintain their forms again and their approximations of mouths open up and spew the negative energy once again on the four of you. - No.

Charisma saving throw, please. Not to me, not to this guy. Wait, what? Anyone who fails roll a d6 for me, please. What is the fail? 17. That doesn't matter. I failed. Charisma saving throw. 14 plus 7. That's more than 17. A golden baby. Way more than 17. 21 total. Jules? I failed. Why am I so charismatic as Claire? This was the joints I made. Oh no, I passed.

The other one is gonna roll, I'm gonna roll a d6. One, two, three. Two. I'm gonna roll another one, saving throw for me please. - Why? - Because there is one more that is a melee ring. - 16 plus seven. - So you pass. So Caprice, the only one rolled a d6 for me please. - Give me the old number five. - Like what did I do?

You feel hatred. Uh-oh. You feel hatred that consumes you, and you feel nothing but pure, raw hatred, and the hatred that you feel rips your soul as you're going to take D8's item. Whoa!

Bye! He clearly leads to inner turmoil and psychic damage. Yes. It leads to horrible nightmares. That's really good. That's very Frank Oz, Yoda. Thank you. Early in the original trilogy. Good food. Good food. This is a learner impression. Isn't it good? It is.

What is that, though? That's something else. That's Lilo and Stitch, I think. That is Lilo. Ten. I rolled literally the worst damage. Six. Terrific. Plus seven. Ten. Thirteen points of psychic damage. That's really bad. I rolled three ones. I rolled a two, two threes, a four, and a five. That's really bad. It's really awful. Wow! Yeah.

Why do I have this nagging feeling like I have stress in my life? Perfect. And now they're gonna make attacks. Apologies, I'm... We're gonna do Caprice. Yeah. They both miss. We're gonna do Iris. What for me? Oh, wow, this one's both head. Three's disadvantaged. What for me? Because number two is at disadvantage. Oh. As is three. But I rolled two 18s for the first head, so that'll be 18 plus nine is... Is that a lot? Yeah. 17, or 27. Oh.

So the next one, that's gonna catch all your miss. 27 damage? No, 27 hit. So one's gonna hit, one's gonna miss. For each of those claws. And so I'm gonna do a claw first. Necrotic is the same for you, right? Yes. Okay, so 2d8. Is number two or number three attacking her? Number two. Roger that. Oh, wow. 10, 14 points of damage slashing into you. One misses. And then are you advantage against Toa?

No, no. Two attacks on you. Number two also needs to make a constitution saving throw. I'm going to just do that real quick. He gets 17. No, 14, sorry. So he fails. He fails. Still awake? Is corruption disease or poison?

Corruption, was it? Is corruption disease or poison? Is that falling? Corruption isn't a language in the game. No, it's not. Okay. They're corrupt. So they're necrotic damage for that, if that makes sense.

So that's a 19 and a 25 to both hit. - What? - 25. - I don't think it makes sense that she's looking for him. - Okay. - I could be wrong. - Necrotic is a type of damage. - 12, 16. - 21 points of damage to you. - I have immune to disease and poison, that's why. - I don't think that applies. - Roger that. And then on Lufty, two attacks. - No. - Same. - No.

Uh, 20 and 24? Yeah, those are it. All those are it? Yep, okay. Roll it together.

Wow, okay, 10, 11, 15, 19, 22, 29, 31 points of damage. I use my reaction to send another Ancestral Spirit over, this time in the form of a boar, let's say. And we'll do, that's 10 damage. I'm gonna roll a d8 in the last one I may rearrange. One, two, three, four. It saves me 10 damage. Oh, I'm sorry, d4 you said?

Is this three or four attacking? Doesn't matter, he's totally fine. Okay. There you go. You're looking at me like this. Watch that. Did your transmitter roll something?

No. Okay. I thought you asked for the roll. No, no, no. He was... Because Felix isn't there, so one of them had to attack. Just like what happened with the star ash. The one in the middle of the pool, you get the sense that it is actually relatively weak because it is being continually cleansed by the pool. And you get the sense that if you turn on it, it is struggling to maintain its shape even more.

Caprice, you're up. Who's looking roughest? Three. No, four. The roughest is, well, number four is weak. One. Four and five are rough. Four is the most rough. No, three is the most rough. Three is in the pool. It's taking the most damage and is in the pool when it is basically, it's being purified as it is trying to attack you. Am I still feeling hatey? Yeah. Yeah.

Not emo- you've- no. No, the hatred left me. Oh, okay. You felt that horrible hatred, and then now it's left you as you realize the pool's trying to cleanse you of all of that. And you get the sense, and all of you get the sense, as if Golden Lotus, the Eternal Blossomer Johnny, is actually- is cleansing you of these negative emotions. Oh. And she is genuinely trying to bring you onto her side. Kill her.

With that creature up. I'll turn to three and I'll be like, look at you, you piece of shit. You're just fucking, you're drowning, you're on your ass, you're the worst of all of these horrible nightmare creatures. I hate your gut. And I will use Vicious Mockery. It needs to make a wisdom saving throw. I know, 15. 15.

Oh, it fails. It fails. So I will... I know this mockery. Yeah, okay. I've DMed for a bard for how many years at this point? I don't know. Two years?

- Let's give it the old... - What a nightmare. - Nine, and it has disadvantage on the next attack roll it makes. - It is very close to death. - I didn't kill it with my words. - It is incredibly weak, attempting to maintain its form in this pool, but it cannot. - I'll turn to Iris and I'll be like, "You got this, Iris. Come on, let's do this." - Why are you kissing my ass?

We've been friends for what feels like 12 years. And up until today, you've never given me a single bit of inspiration. You're the only one who didn't really forgive me, and I kind of deserve that. Yes, I still don't forgive you. I'll need at least 17 more inspirations.

Well, make it 16. Just keep sucking up! Make it 18. But I do! Make it 17. For a hot 20. A hot 20. As you feel inspired by Caprice's bardic magic, it's Felix's turn. It's a 10. A d10. Hot 20. Caprice is suck-uppy. I can see, I'm not really going to move too much because I feel like I have good position and I see that all of the chaos that's going on. I'm not really used to fighting without my dagger, so I steady my hand as it

begins to glow red and I fire four Scorching Rays from my palm. - Oh shit, yeah! - That's too many Scorching Rays. - So what I'd like to do is, normally what I would do is fire them one at a time and see if it dies, right? So I'm just gonna roll four hits. - Roger that. - I'm gonna start with number three and then probably go to like four and five. - Yeah, number three was so weak you probably just need one. You would know, you're smart enough of a little wizard to know that.

- So one of them is a natural 20. - Oh! - We'll say one, two, three, four, 'cause that's the last one. So that was the natural 20. Is a 17 to hit? - Yep.

So it was meter beat? Yes. All four? Because it's plus nine. So I'll start with that biz guy right there. You obliterate him. There's no way that he survives the hit. As it blasts into number three. You're just going to roll. I'm good, I'm good. There's obviously no way he can survive. The next one's going after number four. It ignites.

And you see the pool, which was seeping with his corruption, the cleansing fire meets the cleansing pool and it erupts and is cleansed. 16 points of damage to number four. 16 points. It is barely hanging up. I hit him with another beam. You do that. That's brutal.

That's brutal. What happened? That's crazy. Eight points of damage. Oh! Yeah, but he drops in the flames. That was so hard to watch. And then the natural taunting. Fires. Number five? Yeah. Awesome. Let's fucking go. Now that is hard. Three and four are dead.

That's going to be 15 plus 12 is 27 plus 5 is 32. 32 points of fire damage, number 5. Good math. It's better than Rotate, man. 12 plus 10...

- Oh shoot, I added an extra five. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I had done the five in my head as part of the 15 and the 12. It's 27 total, I apologize. - Go to that. - Five is barely hanging on. You Exonerate, they go up in flame. The cleansing water now meets cleansing fire as the negative emotions and the demonic corruption that has been plaguing you this entire time now ignites and number five is barely hanging on.

Lufty. Me? You're up. Okay. So seeing the ones closest to me get just smoked to oblivion, I'm going to run towards number five. Number five is barely holding on, it's glooping, it's bubbling. It has no eyes, none of these have eyes. They're all turning around as they're attempting to maintain their form. As No said, they're gloopy gloobers.

I would leap up and make like a striking spoon attack. I'm leaping my person. I like to be the person. You like to play with your action figure? I do. I want to play with my action figure. Go for the eyes, Loofty. So I'm going to leap up with a spoon attack and land on top of fire. Roger that. Roger that. Roger, roger, roger that.

- Oh no! - Can I get a Roger that? - I don't think that makes it, that's 15. - That's a miss. - Okay, so that's okay. - You have to land with your spoon and it knocks you off, desperately trying to survive and corrupt you with more negative emotions. - Okay, so I just kind of like overshoot it a little here. - You do, you do. - I just screw up. - You get another spoon attack now. - So I'm gonna, I'm gonna,

spin around and try to take the where these would be out from under it. Nate, 20.

There's no physical way it survives. As you smash into its spoon, and with a single blow, your spoon collides. The magical enchantment on it crashes into it and explodes into white, black, gray, grayscale goo. And it falls off. Only two of these corruption manifestations remain. And so with my third attack,

I would come over here and hit number two. Is it still on the ground? No. And they're both standing. It's kind of like these half... That would hit. Plus nine is something. 22. That'll be my first attack on number two. Number two's looking the weakest. Okay, so that is... What am I doing? Shit. 10, 12 on number two. Roger that.

And you smash into it with your fist. It shocks with electricity. It is holding on, but it takes the damage. It is Ira's turn. I'm going to turn towards number one. I'm going to touch it and cast Inflict Wounds at a 6th level, because fuck it. Okay.

How does that work? You have a dragonfly coming your way. I just have to... Iris doesn't have that. 17 plus 9 is a 26. Yeah, that hits more than enough. Okay, I'm going to roll 8d10. Does anyone have any d10s? It's not a 2 right here. It is. Here's a bunch. How many do you need? This is number 1 or 2? Number 1. Okay.

Two, two, two?

35. 35 points of damage as you shoot all the corrupting plagues of Anubis as it shoots into this thing, and you see that the Karate damage does not do as much as you'd expect, but it does take some of the damage. You're still...

Inspire? You didn't use your Inspiration? No. Okay, just keep that on you. Thank you. And 60 rounds of combat. Okay, watch that. It is a toaster. Seeing that there are only two left, I'll roll up to the first guy and just recklessly attack, power attack. I'll attack first. Oh, so close. So that's going to hit for...

29 points of damage.

To number two? To number two. Okay, shit, hold on one sec. Let's see if Wind Fury grows. 29. It does? After that, he's barely holding on to... Second attack will come back down. Yeah. If it hits, it's gonna destroy him. That hits? Yep, he smashes it, and the totem is coated in black and white goo as it smashes apart a single bit.

a single manifestation of the corruption of all six negative emotions within you. - So Windfury proc'd, so I will be kind of engulfed with wind as it almost moves my totem yet again, and I'll make this one a power attack recklessly. 14, yep, that hits. And that will be, ooh, pretty good, 29 points of damage. - How do I do this?

I'll just sort of, you know, my totem is just kind of coursing with like this light blue wind as I just come up and around and just through the middle of it, I just basically decimate it. And the goose is going to kind of squish from either end as I bring it down all the way to the ground. You suck!

- Smash it down and glowing, you see Toa's eyes are flashing with the same color that his tattoos glow with. The spirits swirl around him as he smashes the last bit of the manifestation of corruption as it scatters across the room. All five of you feel now purified of anger, despair, doubt, fear, hatred, and pride. - Nice.

Like hitting a Jell-O mold with a baseball bat. Felix, you see your dagger shimmering in the shallow water. You grab it. Oh, thank God. And you all turn around. And where there had been a brilliant expanse out into the land of Yulong, there is now a stairway downward. And you see now, down that stairwell, the brilliant murals of the golden...

Lotus of the Eternal Blossom, or Johnny, shimmering on either side is outbathe in the molten glow of the forge. As you hear the hammering and hammering and hammering of the forging of the glaives together to form a weapon.

to enact the will of her Johnny. And with that, we'll end the session. Ooh, baby. Damn. Oh, baby. That was great. That was a fun session. Holy shit.

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