Beneath Dark Wings | Ep. 43 | Beyond the Gilded Cage: Part 1
04:06:15 Share

Welcome to Legends of Avantris. I'm Mikey Gilder, and you're listening to Beneath Dark Wings. Here's what happened last time. You all were reeling from the defeat of Baphomet, the avatar of Baphomet at the very least, at the hands of...

at the hands of Shangoro and you, exploded all into the room. He was killed by this sacrifice, more or less. It sucked in the power of the seal, and it allowed, and then obviously Golden Lotus revealed herself to be Rajani, the Eternal Blossom. There was no Eternal Blossom goddess, it was just herself. She pulled a dragon, she took all the glaives, flew off with Hisaki, and the two dwarves, Torvald and Harja Anvilheart,

to her lair. You then realize and learn that although there were horrible heavy losses and much of Mogurkai was destroyed, the Horn Legion was basically routed and being hunted down mercilessly by the surviving orcs of Mogurkai.

You then met up with the Beast Lord, who became the new ruler. You convinced him to take on the helmet of Frostfang and become the new Warchief. You tried to get him to just be a regular chief. We're not sure how well that went, but there'll be discussions about that. You then also figured out how to cleanse him of his...

to cleanse him of his horrible corruption. And you realize that magic was possibly able to be used, as well as the presence of Baphomet had weakened the hold of Rajani over all of these orcs.

And so some of them were able to break their minds free. You then freed Revali, who decided to help free the minds of all the rest of these orcs. And he stayed behind as you realized that there was a spy in your ranks, and it was Hisaki, who was the worst.

Scout of all time, but he was basically just tailing you all and you, through some really expert subterfuge, you decided to just hop on him and catch a ride to her lair. Catch a ride? Catch a ride to the Terrace of Infinite Dawn.

And you then arrive, you rocketed through the mountains, a beautiful, picturesque, almost seems supernaturally beautiful area all around this beautiful valley that this massive terrace is built into the side of the mountain. And you left Hizaki at the entrance where he's watching guard, and you made your way through Rajani's lair, all of the great collections in her various hordes.

are all on display and each time you went into them, you didn't mess with anything, fortunately for you. However, every room you were... Give it time, Mike. You were all sent to dream prisons, which is an ability that apparently golden dragons can do while in their lair.

And each time it was Rajani showing you the good, the greater good that is achieved when people submit, when there is no free will, when there is no freedom and showed some pretty good times. But you were able to break out of each one by sowing discord and chaos and raucousness.

that eventually shattered the dream. - Raccoons. - The Raccoonsness, Raccoonsness, in order to shatter each of these dream prisons, eventually making your way to the final terrace on the other side, seemingly this magical illusory realm that is where Rajani's original home was in Yulong, where she was originally first visited by the Six-Eyed Hawk.

that gave her the the the sight of future of the the brilliant future that gave her this entire plan that she's working on for decades and

You were able to then purify all of your negative emotions in the cleansing pool, which then removed the illusory banner, or rather the illusory wall and revealed that it was actually still inside. And there was a stairwell down deeper into the mountain.

And you heard the sounds of the working of metal and the glow of a forge of some kind, strange molten glow. And I believe that's it. Did I miss anything? Probably so. Okay. That's it. That's it. Here we go. A lot of toes and voice. Hey, it's me, Toa.

Hey, everybody. Hey, Felix. I got a bad feeling about this. You need to stop smoking so much. My name's Felix and my best friend's Thor. When we entered this relationship, we agreed. You all are, uh...

bloody and bruised from the attacks of the manifestations of the corruption and the taint and the negative emotion. I want to keep using that word. It's a good word for this. I'm going to keep using it. Taint no mountain high enough. Exactly right. And...

You're in the picturesque, the beauty of the illusory terrace is still all around you, but there is now a massive stairwell going down deeper into the earth, and you see a glow far off in the distance, and it seems to be, you see the molten glow of a forge with oranges, but also radiating golds of

of mourning, and then also the shimmering hints of a deep greenish, maybe jade color that's also refracting in this light that's glowing down deep into this stairwell. And you feel the weight of the previous battles and your travels here after just, you know, the previous evening defeating the Avatar of Baphomet. And despite the tranquility

that's all around you in this space, you can hear constantly hammering and banging and clanging from deep in the sounds of the forging of a terrible weapon. What do you all do?

So Rajani is not nowhere to be seen? No, so that was another dreamscape. Right, right. So she's nowhere to be seen, and she had, at the end, you could tell that she was getting a little bit unhinged and was imploring you to see her way for the greater good, but if it has to come to battle, then it will.

And the direction that the sound is coming from, we're able to tell. Yeah, that's deeper down into the stairwell. It's just a stairwell ahead of us. And it's a massive stairwell, the same size and grandeur with the murals that you've seen throughout this place.

It's not only large enough for an ancient golden dragon to walk down, but also just to fly down. If she, you realize that, you know, you remember that this whole space is massive enough for her to just fly through with her huge wingspan. Toa, I'm sorry to even suggest it, but you gotta go first. I'll be right behind you all the way, but we have to go down there and see if hers is down there. How's everyone feeling? I know hers is in danger, but...

I'm not gonna lie, I'm sweating and I'm bleeding a little bit. I'm hurting. But what he's trying to say is that it doesn't matter. We've got no way to go but forward. I say we go... Herge could be right down those stairs. We gotta go. Let's go, then. None of you need to rest. There's no time. Well, no, but we could drink potions if we have them. I rummage through my pack. Shake, shake what I have. And I'm going to, um...

And if you don't have anything, I will driven a salve. A salve on your body. And so anyone who doesn't have a potion, I'll use some of my Kjartons. I'm going to knock back a potion of heroism. I don't have anything. I've got one. You're such a liar. So Bless is also attack roll. I can add a d4 to my attack rolls. That's actually pretty good.

And saving throws. You also have all of them? So I am going to rub some Colton's Ointment on Caprice, and I'm going to use two applications of it. Well, thank you. I am blessed.

I think Nod sees this relationship happening. I'm just rubbing it on his chest. Oh, boy. I'm just rubbing it into his chest while I hold his head. And so then I have to be with him. Thank you. I'll let you color in my tattoos later. That's disgusting. No, it's fine. Everyone needs a shoulder to crayon.

Well played. Well played. Why don't you roll it at 48 plus 4? 48 plus 4? 4d8, not 40. 52! Yeah, 4d8. Got it. Alright, so I'm under Bless. Can the minute start when we get to a fight? I'm 52 out of 90. Yeah, so I'll do...

- That's a good idea, I'll see Felix drink his potions. - Un-fucking-believable. - Wow. - Four ones. - Wow. - That is-- - What are the odds of that? - So eight. - That's the bottom of the bell curve right there. There's a whole hump up here of health and then there's this. - What is it? Four plus four? - That's eight.

My nipples. Ow! I'm just going to start rubbing vigorously and I'm going to use two more bits of ointment on you. And that replenishes one of my ointments. I'm not rolling hot today. I'll pop open a potion and chug it. I'll pull out three potions that I have. I'll say...

- This is probably the best time to use these. And I will down three potions. I will down my potion of fire resistance, my potion of heroism, and my potion of growth.

Wow, you didn't swallow once. That's information to know. Derek, I did the same as you for a potion of healing greater. I got a one, one, one, and a three. Remarkable. Yeah, so that's just where we're at right now. I mean, math, math, you know? So six plus four is ten hit points, but for a wizard, every hit point matters. That's some money. That's like average. This is real D&D, folks. All right, I'm feeling good. I'm feeling good. That's okay. And then I am... And I just got to remove these potions from my...

And then I'm gonna use two ointments on myself. I also have... I'm down to three ointments out of the nine I have. Is your ointment different than my ointment? I have... You have what, Derek? I've got an ointment of... Jotham's ointment? I don't know if it's Jotham's. No, it's just an ointment. I got it when we got the cloud giant stuff. Yeah, that's what it is. Isn't it 2d8 plus 2? It's 1d4 plus 1. Oh, there's an action...

2d8+2. Oh, yeah. So should I have rolled 2d8+2 instead of 1d8? Yes. Okay.

so i'm going to undo this but i did i wanted four plus one is the i did four on you you did four charges of that yes how much is this ointment why don't you do two i have nine so why don't you do two and i'll just use it it's a 55 gallon draw yeah okay so it's eight plus eight is what i think you're going to do because you're 48 plus four

- It's not lubricant. - Exactly. - It is oil based. - Yes. - Never water based. - Never water based, oh my gosh. - Oh my goodness. - Okay. - This is sticky. - Yeah. - Which ones are the D8s? The D8s look ugly. - They're like pyramids. You shouldn't think they're ugly. - These are the D8s. - Oh no, I guess the fours are like pyramids. The eights are like double pyramids. - 11, 11 this time. - Sometimes I say dumb things. - That was with four D8s. - Four D8s, I got one, one, one, four.

- Ty, you suck. You're really bad at this game. - Yeah, yeah. Kimba says it's a joke of alchemy, but ointment instead of mayo. I like that. - I love that. - I'm a fan.

Oh, I am not rolling well. As you all are sitting around drinking potions, you feel that there is a peacefulness in this air, and after you feel like you've purified yourself of negative emotions, you get the sense that if you stayed for a little bit longer, you wouldn't need the full hours for a short rest. So you did two, I did two. That means, yes, I still have five left. Well, I mean, in that case, Mike, if you're going to make it easy. Yeah, if we're going to do a short rest, let's just do it.

I will add Song of Rest, which is just a... Well, then I take all of my weight and that's better. Right, because we can just use a fuckload of healing dice. Hold on to that, because I only have 4 hit dice right now. Wait, seriously? Yeah, I've been... We haven't had very many long rests since I've been... I got a million hit dice. I was nearly killed last... Can I take my potion back?

Yeah, sure. That's fine. I mean, it's like you guys need a role play that you're going to take. You're going to need to take probably about 20 minutes to rest. I'm going to have my potion back in the bottle. That seems insane. It's still good. It's still good. It's still good. Yeah. We don't know. We don't know if we have that kind of time. I agree. That's what I'm saying. It wouldn't take an hour. I agree. Fuck that. No, I changed nothing. I'm not using. No short night. No short rest. I feel like we got to get down there. You really got me by the short dice right now. Thank you.

All right. That's why I was using my ointment. This party would fall apart without us. Exactly right. We do not take that long. No, we don't. We're hustling. I'm removing my ointment yet again. In fact, I'm like double fisting Potion of Heroism and Greater Healing as I run down the corridor. You're right, Felix. We should go. Exactly. We should all go.

- Oh, and so as I drink the potion of growth, you see me literally double in size. So I'm now like 15 feet tall. - Holy shit! - My weapon grows, everything grows as well. - Easy, Kelsey. - Everything grows. - His fingers get very beefy and sausagey, almost like cupcakes. - How do you lose two of them? - I'm also gonna drink my potion of heroism.

- If you've got any rings on, they weirdly don't grow and your fingers just pop off disgustingly. - Like sausage casings. - Yeah. - Yikes. - Okay. - This is a real D&D, folks.

We're in for a long ten hours, man! Holy shit. That's the low moisture monster. Here I come! You see Toa drink the potion, you just hear the ground rumbling as his muscles start just growing and almost like, one of them burst out of his flesh as he grows disgustingly. Kaneda! Kaneda!

It's not that... Who's that in the old cartoons from the 70s? Who's Greg? And he would just grow in an instant flash.

Something like that. We did have a question not to interrupt. What did the DM say about staying around a little longer? Mike was saying that if we decided to take another 30 minutes-ish, we could take a short rest, but we have decided that we don't have that kind of time. We need to save our friend who is potentially in very deep shit.

I'd be real pissed if Iris were captured and y'all were just sitting there like, let's take an hour. Yeah, let me just pour myself a potion. Yeah, but you wouldn't be you. In this situation, Herge is just like, everything's fine. I'm not thinking about this right now. All right, fuck you. Are we good? We charged him to the fucking fray. I have him leading me and I'm right behind him. So you behind, uh,

- Toa, our massive Toa, he's so much taller than you and he's only wearing a grass skirt and you get a good look up there as you're on him. - Oh no! - Weirdly enough, this is not the weirdest thing that magic has ever done in my life. - It's like dodging a speedball while walking. - No! - Jesus!

- As you all charge down the stairs and these are, despite this being made for a dragon,

this layer being made for a dragon, these are stairs that are humanoid-sized. So you're able to make your way down and it's just absolutely beautiful as it doesn't get darker. And the light at the edge, at the bottom of the staircase gets brighter and brighter as you get closer. And you realize now that it's coming from two separate

there's actually a split in the stairwell, and the same light is radiating from both sides. And you can basically veer off left or right in the wall ahead of you. You see that there's this beautiful mural, and you see that massive gold dragon, obviously Rajani, surrounded by hundreds of depictions of these jade statues they look like, just row after row after row above her.

all with tendrils down from their chins. Is this actually Rajani or a statue? This is the mural. So there's basically a dead end, or dead ahead of you, but then there's two hallways that go down, either left or right. And this is a meaningful distinction that you'll need to decide as Toa, I guess. Are you going left or right? Hold on, hold on!

Which way should we go? And I want to look down both sides and try to listen and see what are the differences. Make a perception check for me, please. I would like to look at the mural and see if the mural has any indication as to left or right. You look up and I'll say it's very easy to tell. It is perfectly uniform and perfectly symmetrical. Tell her I have something that I'm going to switch to.

Yes? I do not know the difference between my right and my left. Well, this way is left, and I point down. Someone once told me that you could put your hands up and whichever one created an L was left, but they're both technically Ls. Well, one would be a backwards L, and that's not really an L. But it's still an L. It's just a backwards L. Think of the one that's not backwards. That way's left, and I point down that way. Your L or my L?

Your L. Because the L to me is not the L to you. So which one is left?

- Felix, which one was left? - Why are you guys doing this bit? We're just gonna die, let's go! - I rolled a natural 20 plus six, a 26. - I will say that you listen down to each one and you look and the glow is radiating, it's the exact same glow and the sound, you now hear the clanging, the, the,

the clanging of hammer on metal and the working of metal in a forge. And you...

you hear that it sounds like to be just echoing up the chambers. And you actually look down and you see that it goes down for probably another 30 feet and then turns once again deeper into the mountain. So you don't see where it goes. It looks like it might be going to the same place. However, you do hear... I think with a natural 20, which is 21? 26 total. 26 total. I'd say that you get the sense as you hear the... You hear the...

deep breathing that almost sounds feline-like or dog-like of this, but it's booming of a dragon as it's getting, as it's this heavy, intense breathing. As if Rajani is down there,

and is as unhinged in the dream as you saw. And you also hear within that as well, the sounds of grunting and hard work of two voices, and you actually can pit one side versus the other. And you hear on the right side, you hear sounds almost feminine. You recognize Herja, and on the left side, you recognize Torvald.

So left is Herja, right is Torvald. Oh boy. Right is Herja, left is Torvald. Sorry. So right is Herja. I think Herja's down this hallway. We should go this way. And I'll just start going down the right. I'm going to follow. Obviously I'm right behind. So you guys are going left.

We're going right. We're going away from Torvald. Yes, yes. And towards Herja. So you're going right. So you're going right towards Herja. As you make your way down, as you finally... As the stairs turn, and you now see that whatever is at the bottom of this next staircase, this is where the chamber is leading. And you all...

rocket down, running as fast as you can, and as you enter the chamber before you, you're almost blinded by the lights that is emanating from this chamber, and through the lights, you see the massive dark silhouette of

of no none other than rajani the largest living creature that any of you have seen this massive dragon looming over you however this chamber very adequately uh

can contain a beast of this size. As you look up to a massive, somewhat rounded chamber that goes up dozens, maybe even hundreds of feet into the mountains. As it's all carved out of this stone beautifully, elegantly, as is the rest of her lair. And you see that every...

every several feet, there are outcroppings. And standing on each outcropping is a singular jade statue. Up the walls? All the way up the walls. Going around? The entire way and all the way around. Rows and rows and rows of jade statues. And as you look around, as the color, your eyes are adjusting to the light of the color, you realize that the jade in this is the refracting of the light of a massive circular form

at the center of this room, and surrounding it is a dome of radiating sun-like energy, and it's refracting through all of these jade statues. Are the jade statues almost like terracotta RBS? They are all motionless, and they all have

They're holding weapons, some are holding tools. And you all see that as you just take the moment to look up and around, you see that these statues are of humanoids. And you see orcs, you see humans, you see dwarves, you see elves, and they all have tendrils from their chins going down. As you just see hundreds, if not thousands, of these statues going up all the way up.

all the way around as you get the sense where some are craftsmen, some seem to be sagely, and you think that maybe these are the people that built this place. As they are, as this massive final chamber of Rajani's lair,

is before you. And you see that there's a pristine pool of water that runs through this space with two bridges to the center. And you finally see, as Rajani looms over, she's not facing towards you. She's looking over with her wings curled behind her back, her tendrils hanging low down from her face. She's looking over the...

and where the sound of the clanging and banging of hammer and chisel and tongs on metal is, you see from the dome,

of this, from the dome of this radiating protective sunlight. It's, you see within two shapes, two smaller dwarven shapes, working on a massive glaive at the center. As you see Persia and Torvald, one on either side,

as you see Heartcleaver on one side, and you see the Glaive of the Seven Laws on the other, and at the center, on either side, both Herja and Torval are working together to drop this thing into a single weapon. And you see that shimmering within this is that silvery power of the seal, as if it's pulsing,

attempting to spread from the Glaive of the Seven Laws into Heartcleaver to turn into this massive weapon that Rajani wants to use. Does there appear to be any other entrance to this room than the one that we came into? I will say no. Why don't you remove the map so it can give you a better idea? All of it? All of it. Get rid of all of it. Something's up. Something's up. Hit the button. Something's up. Oh, the button. What's just doing? I never get into the button.

So please put... Yeah, I can move if you need me to. I'm gonna actually use the restroom real quick so you can get on in here. Please put Herja here. Herja here. Yep. And please put Torvald here. Oh yeah, Rodak. Which is Torvald. Here? Yep. There. So... Damn. They're dwarfing around. To give you a sense of this chamber. It's massive. So presumably these are the two stairs, right Mike? So we came down from this side, so we'd be over here.

And then these are all the statues. Yeah. And then they go up. And this is like that pool or whatever. Yeah, that's the pool and those are the bridges. I've found the penis. I think we've all found the penis. There's a penis? There's always a penis. Where's the penis? If you don't know, you don't know. If you don't know, now you know. You want to push our gang? Yeah, so we're coming down here. I'd be in the lead. Yeah, I'm right behind you. And...

As you look at Herja and Torvald, it's difficult to see them. You can see their silhouettes, you can see their shapes, but you can see in their silhouettes through that radiating protective dome that their tendrils are hanging long. They are fully under control, submitting to Rajani. Those are the statues, yep.

submitting to Rajani, working desperately and feverishly to craft this weapon.

And you see now, as she looks over, she's breathing heavily. You understand why. As there is golden tendrils of energy and light and magic all tethering from her tendrils down into this golden dome. As if she's transferring her power, her essence, her anima, her life force into this dome in order to not just

help forge this weapon, but also completely shield it from any outside interference. And... And, uh, you... You... And as you enter, she pauses. And...

She pauses and turns her head slightly, and you can see that her eyes are definitely more sunken in, as there is a bit of... It's not that same level of grandeur that you had seen fly out of that seal chamber. As she says, "Do you now see the beautiful future that I do?" "No, we don't!"

You need to stop this! We see a future, but it's not beautiful! It's not what you think! I am doing this for the greater good. You should not try to stop this. I have shown you the future that can be achieved. A future of the greater good, a future of order.

I have shown you what I have seen. You mortals do not have the power that my kind does. I can see the future. You cannot trust in the eternal blossom. We won't! It's horseshit! What you believe in is horseshit! It's for the greater good.

There's still time to go back on this. We're not going to let you take our friends. We don't have to do this.

And she then starts to turn slowly and she moves her massive body and her wings start to unfurl a little bit. And wherever she goes, you see that these tendrils of energy from her own fleshy tendrils are always connecting to this dome. As she turns to you and leans down, her massive long neck sneaking like a serpent.

as she says, they are not your friends anymore. They are my subjects. They are believers in the greater good. I can give- That is not true. They are our friends, more particularly my friends, and nobody takes my friends. I will make one last offer.

In a world of the greater good, a world of order, I will give you your wildest dreams. All those who submit to me will also submit to you. Wealth, power, comfort, it will all be yours. You will have everything you ever wanted and more.

Because when people submit, all that is left to be taken is power. As long as you kneel and swear yourself to harmony and the greater good. Absolutely no deal. There's only one thing you could have offered me and it wouldn't even be the real thing. I'll lean down and I'll get down onto one knee and I will tie my shoe and then stand up and go. I put a hand on Caprice's shoulder after he does that.

And she looks at all of you and says, "If it is either my death or your deaths, I suppose it must come to death all for the greater good." And she rears back her head and takes in a breath as her wings unfurl. I need everyone to roll for initiative. - Let's go! - Ah!

- Here, do you wanna use, you can use this inside the mousepad. - No, I don't need it. I'm fine, I like to use it 'cause you usually use it together, but I'm good, I'm good. - That's not bad at all. - Oh, let's go! - Is it a screamy screamy? - No, it's 19. - Also 19. - Close, but your dex is way higher than mine, so you're still gonna go first. I got a 22 though, that's pretty good for a wizard. - That is pretty good. - I found a die in my team.

Shut up! You found a die? I'm sorry, what? When I was dumping out Sylvie's dice to get irises, I must have accidentally dropped a d20 in my turn. You're gonna have to check your poop for the next couple days. 20 to 25. Oh, a d20! 22. 22? You got a 25. Yo, I beat Lufty, let's go! I got a 20. Caprice got a 25? Yeah.

We all rolled like maniacs. This is indicative of how well this will go for everyone. I also got a 20. Who goes first? It's Capri. Oh, sorry. Sorry.

If you don't consume your die, are you even really playing? Real D&D players eat their dice. And I guess Toa. Toa, what do you got? I got a 13, or no, 14, sorry. So, I'm killing your... Just don't make it a D4. A D20 would go down for the...

- Luckily it was just one of the little tiny d20s. - Luckily it was easier to consume, yeah! - You were very calm about that. If I saw something foreign floating in my drink, I would've spazzed. - Like that time you found something wearing your pillow. - Oh yeah, I hate you.

I don't want to talk about it. I'm fine with that. I would agree with you though. If you're looking at your drink and you're just like, "What the hell is this?" That's what I thought. I thought there was a lizard in my pillow, but it was just a sausage. Pillow sausages happen. I freaked out. She did freak out. It was awesome. I swiped it out of the pillow and lunged out of bed and then I landed on the floor and was like...

As she is lumbering, she can see her taking a breath and there are wisps of that golden mist that you had seen and flown through. As it starts to almost pool and wail all around her face, as she looks at you, there's a sense of...

of grim determination and weariness to her. She does that, "Caprice, what do you--" Oh, and as you enter, you see that the energy at this forge at the center of this chamber is radiating and crackling with that insane light on either side

of this either side of the glaive, and each side of the room is almost completely split down the middle. One side is radiating with the half of the glaive that is Horkfleever and the other with the glaive of the seven laws. - And that would be presumably this line here, right? - Yes.

- Okay, Caprice, what do you do? - Just to get a sense, how far of a drop into the water is it? - That is 10 feet down. - And does it look welcoming and water-like or is it like evil? - You know that like there was a magical effect to the water that you went in, you don't know what kind of effect. - It looks like water. - And this pedestal area here, does that look like there's anything significant? - No, just what is it? - There's no uncharted lever that all of a sudden the light comes out, okay, that's fine. - I'll turn everyone on.

I'm with you guys! Let's fucking go! Let's save Herja! Um... I don't have a song...

Rajani, did you change your name from Vagini? And I'll cast Circle of Power. Oh, shit! What the hell? What does it do? It's a fifth level spell. Everyone within 30 feet of me moving forward has advantage on saving throws against spells and magical effects. Oh, shit. Additionally, if you succeed on a saving throw that would give you half damage on a success, you just take no damage.

Rogue style. So you have to be in a circle of him? You have to be within 30 feet of me. Oh, and it stays around you. Yes, and it moves with me. Got it. So you all suddenly feel elated. The humor, the capriciousness of the situation being what it is. You feel you have an ally, and it is go time. That is the, oh, I'll use my bonus action, and I'll just be like...

We got this Felix, I'll give you inspiration. Oh shit, what level? It's a D10. Oh fuck, okay. This is a D10, so I've got this, I've got my Bless spell. Okay, all right, cool. That's my turn. It will be. Oh fuck. Oh yeah. She inhales and uses all three of her legendary actions to do a massive cone of breath of this

- A dense, foggish, a golden mist that blasts all of you in a 90 foot cone. I want everyone to make a strength saving throw for me, please. - Wow, that's not good. - Strength, you said. - At advantage because of Circle of Power. - And then I also get the bladget. - Is it a bladget or is it just?

Is it magic? It is a magical effect. It is not a spell. How does that? It says spells are magical effects. Yeah, okay. So we get advantage on this bad boy. I also get bless. That is unfortunate. May I use the twist? How many do we have? Yes, you may. Yes, we have a good amount. You're probably going to get a lot of them. Take that thing out.

- You said a strength saving throw. - Thank you. - Yep. - Wow, that is weak ass. - I'm gonna use the inspiration as well. - Yeah, yeah, add that to 10. - I need it, that's pretty good. - Okay. - I think that's gonna do it. - My strength is my weakest suit. - Okay, what does one get? - 10. - 10? - 22. - 22? - 23. - 23? - 25. - 25? - You have advantage on this because of the light cast. - 26.

- 19. - 19. Caprice, you, all of you are-- - We got this feeling. - All of you are coughing, but you managed to resist the weakening effect of this magical breath. Caprice, you are unable to.

being the one to taunt and start off and use your, to taunt her, as you cough and you sputter, and you now have disadvantage on all strength saving throws and checks, all strength based attacks. - That's okay.

- You cannot fail. - I couldn't lift a piece of paper in the first place. - What was your total roll, Caprice? - 10. - You see Caprice's eyes sink in and he looks very weak. Almost a similar effect to what's happening to Rajami. - Okay.

Felix, now it's your turn. As this happens, I'm kind of like swiping and trying to like clear the air and I look over my shoulder and I say, "Stay with Caprice! Watch out for the fire! Magic's not gonna be great!" And I move 30 feet, 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, as I'm clapping my hands and I'm like, "Roshani! Over here!" And then I plant my feet and

at my boots, flames begin to lick up around my boots and the flames come up my legs, around all of me. It looks as if I'm catching on fire. My blue coat is now a brilliant orange and red as at a sixth level, I cast the spell Investiture of Flame. And what that is going to do is it's concentration.

Flames race across my body, shedding bright light for a 30-foot radius, blah, blah, blah. I'm immune to fire damage and have resistance to cold damage. Any creature that moves within five feet of you takes damage, and I can use my action to create fire. But the idea is that I can't be breath-attacked by her, hopefully. That's her. And so I'm trying to get her attention as I am this flaming... My cloak is on fire, I'm on fire, it looks like I'm on fire, and I'm trying to get her attention as I cast the spell. Make a... Ooh!

- Ooh, Persuasion or Intimidation. Let's do Persuasion. - Okay. It's not good either way. I won't give it a shot.

I got an 11. An 11, okay. So as she turns her head to you, she stomps forward in your direction, and her tendrils are hanging low, and she looks at you. Your power of flame will not save you. You will all be sacrificed for the greater good. As she moves around in your direction as you wanted, can you move forward?

Like that? Towards you. Oh, okay. Oh, shit. All right. Yeah, go ahead, Mike. You do it. You're the god of this world. In this direction. All right.

And once again, she breathes and you see flames start to lick around and it's this combination of this brilliant golden flame and she leans down and opens her massive jaws and a massive cone of flame bathes all of you. And everyone makes a dexterity saving throw. Dex, you say? This one's not at advantage. Well, no, yeah, as long as you're near Caprice and he hasn't... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Is this magical? Yep.

- Okay. - Yeah, I got a nine. That's not gonna pass, but I should be okay, hopefully. We'll see. - I'm also for bearing. - This was my whole plan. - 19 to the DC. - Would you do that? Is that like making an attack on us? - Okay, I've got a cast. - What is it now? - No, Gary, just on an attack roll. - Pass. - I got a 22. - Okay. - 23. - I got a nine, but if it's flame, then I'm immune. - Yep, that's fine. - All right, 26. - All right.

So if you're gonna take half of this if you succeeded, I should've been rolling this whole time. One, two, three, four, five, six. If you succeeded, you take nothing as long as you're within 30 feet of me. Okay. Oh, really? Yeah. What the fuck? So me, I take nothing? Yeah. Yeah, everybody gets evasion, basically. The rogue feat evasion. I have an aura of evasion. This guy actually might survive this fight. As long as it's, it might be concentration. 10 minutes concentration. So as long as he doesn't get slapped upside the head, we'll be all right. 10 seconds.

17, 26, 31, 37, 40, 45, 45, 49, 55, 62, 63 points of fire damage if you failed. Half of that if you succeeded or not. - And it's taking damage? - No one. - Oh. - No one. - She also moved within five feet of me, so she's gonna take 1d10 fire damage.

The... Yeah! Nine! Nine lifts up the... As she stands over you, she does not seem to even care as the flame bursts against her shining gold scale. There's just a lot of fire going everywhere. Yeah, there's fire as it bursts out. She seems to be immune to fire. Just like you are now. With that, it is Luffy's turn. Good to know. So I'm going to... I'm going to...

I'm gonna spend a key yeah I'm gonna spend a key point oh this is bad dang this is real bad

Damn. This is really bad. I'm going for the haunch, eh? I'm going for the haunches. I'm going to smack it right in the booty. Mike loves designing boss fights that fuck my character. What was it that fucked you in the Orpheus fight? And I am going to...

I don't remember. There were so many times. There was one for Alphonse where I was in fear the whole time. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you can't, as a rogue, you can't, you can't gain advantage of the fear. You're always disadvantaged. So I'm going to make a series of jabs with my spoon, doing like two jabs up and spending another ki point to make, you know, a second series of like swipes with this spoon head. Okay.

Okay, I'm gonna roll the first one. Separate. Not bad. What is that? Six. Twenty-three. Does that hit? Twenty-three gets hit. Okay. So I'm gonna add an extra D for that damage, and then I'll roll the other ones.

Natural 20. Nice! I would like to negate that. You better not. 15? 15? That never gets off my hand. It's so fucking funny. So that's gonna be... That's the first hit. 1d8. What do I do here? This one's...

So I think it's just four. Is that concentration what you cast, Caprice? It is. You feel good? No. 18, 20, 21, 31 damage. Okay. And I will take the Disengage action because of my flurry of blows. Marge that.

I'm gonna use the rest of my speed, which should be about a two. Okay. - As you do that, she is going to... What am I doing? - What am I doing? What am I doing now? - You're big boy, aren't you? Shouldn't you be in four squares? - Oh, I should be. - Here.

That's actually the perfect spot.

Let's go. She's going to turn and look and see that as the flame... Don't turn. The golden flame that's washed over all of you, you are all completely pristine. Then the swirling magic pulsing from Caprice's violin is protecting you and it's emanating as he's playing feverishly. And she then turns her eyes to Caprice.

and says, "Your tricks will not save you. Please submit and kneel and

Stop that noise! And she is going to cast Charm Person. Yeah, Charm spell to 5th level. I'm using my reaction. Okay. As she's going to cast that on Caprice, you feel that magic just washing over your mind, that same persuasiveness, and you get the sense that although she no longer has the power of the Rod of Law,

she still has this incredible, the power of law and order. And Felix, you reach out your hand, it glows silver, and suddenly it dispels the magic, and two of her legendary actions are gone. Thanks, Felix! Woo! Woo! Woo!

- Fifth level. - Roger that. - That's a good level. - Okay, with that, that's her legendary action. With that is, with, uh, Kyrestar. - I'm going all in. Investiture of Flame is concentration, so I gotta make up some ground somewhere else. - Oh yeah.

I'm going to move around Toa. No, I'm saying I can't, like, waste him. I can't hold monster because I'm using my concentration. You're going to round behind him. To not die. Oh, there. So there's water here. Yes. Yeah, she can just move, like, one, two, that's like three, four, five. I have feelings, Grace, I can get there. So just, I want to be on the opposite side of Toa. Is that good? No, like, on the opposite side of Toa. Like,

So where Caprice is, just put me diagonal. Yes, I want to be right there. And then I'm going to take my staff...

And I am going to slowly place it onto the ground and start to dig it in. And as it spins, you're going to see sand whirl up around me. And as I open my eyes, they're going to glow golden as they begin to chant in a language none of you understand. And as I call out, Unkahotep, you have been called to assist me. A scarab, a giant scarab is going to wrench itself from the earth and charge directly towards her. Let's go!

- How do we get the giant scarab from my staff? - Oh fuck! - Let's go! - We need a scarab. - We must have a giant scarab. - Anub'Arak is like my favorite wild card. - That's exactly what I was thinking. - I wanted to name it Anub'Arak, but I'm like, ah, it's too, I'm gonna call it Mungahotep because it came from my own staff. - We got the dragon up here. - What size? - It's a giant? - It's giant. - Giant? - It's probably large, right? - How about this large muffin? - Let me check.

I was thinking this muffin looks like a boob. I think giant is the description. There's probably no description. It just keeps saying giant. There's probably no... What did you intend for it to be, Mike? Giant versions of their natural forms. Oh, so it's a giant insect. Yeah. Can you look up giant insect for... Beck, Google it. Yeah.

Rich is on, producer Rick's on it. Giant insect. With that blood. I'm really excited, but I have to pee, but I'm also wearing a onesie. Go pee quick. What? Go pee. Just go pee. It's a whole thing when it's a onesie. It's a giant centipede, giant spider, giant wasp, giant scorpion. Giant spider is a large creature, so we're going to say it's large. Yeah, large is reasonable. They're all large. They're all large. Large is reasonable. So we'll say this little shadowy dragon guy. Yeah. And it's going to charge at the

- And he goes on my turn. - He erupts out of the sand and you see this massive jewel-shelled scarab as he skitters forward. - Holy shit! - Out of the sand as Rajani certainly wasn't expecting that. - And he goes on my turn. So he's gonna make both of his attacks on her. And he is gonna do... He's going to... No, he's not gonna try and do that. He's just gonna do both of his mandible attacks. - I love that.

I think I would prefer a giant scarab to a small scarab. 24 and 19. 24 hits. 19 is not. Doing 8 points of slashing damage. Okay. And she is your... And it needs to make a strength save.

- Natural 20 plus. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - The scarab goes in with its mandibles and slashes into it. And you actually see as it tears through the scales and makes a deep gash as it does the damage. Anything else, Iris, before we-- - No, that's all I can do. - Amazing. - I turn, I go-- - Okay, and as that happens, she looks around and she says, "Arise!"

"Arise, my endless servants!" No. And she lets out a deep roar. I'm about to get wrecked. And it bursts out and you see six of these jade statues are glowing with energy as the same types of tendrils of energy from her tendrils

then shoot into them and they will all turn towards you and jump off their pedestals and begin to march towards you as they glow. They seem to have some sort of connection to her, some magical pulsing energy connection. And we are going to just have all six of them. Yeah, just go ahead. Salt bathe them all over the place.

They're big. No. Holy fuck! Oh, those are from Hearthstone. Those are the jade statues from Hearthstone. That's great, man. I love the reference. That deck was fun to play, man. We're going to have one go here. Yeah, fingers. We're going to...

We're going to get blinded by this. Is number four supposed to be near Lufty? Number four is going to be perfect. Three on either side. Fucking you up!

No, it's a good thing. As they pulse, Felix, you feel as if there's this magic, there's this magical glow that's washing, that's bursting out of them, and it feels to have some sort of magic suppressing effect. No, I know I don't. You feel it. And actually, all of you feel that. All of you who are, I guess, Iris and Caprice as well, you all feel that. They're all going to take their arms and attempt to

grapple you. - Yeah, good fucking luck. - And so we're gonna get-- - Oh, then that motherfucker's taking some fire damage. - Yes, he is.

- Yeah, so we did, okay. So as soon as he reaches forward to grapple you, suddenly it bursts and the flame erupts out of you and he is dead. So obviously save these. We're gonna get a two, we're gonna get one grapple on Lufthane. - What, why? - A grapple? - That's gonna be a 12 to hit, it's gonna mess. The other one's gonna hit. That is going to be an 18. - Misses. - Okay, wow. You dodge out of the way. We're gonna get on Iris here. - Too slow, boys. - That is going to be

- A 19 to hit. - Okay, it smashes into you. You're going to take a bit of damage here.

a bludgeoning damage. You're gonna take eight points of bludgeoning damage and you are now grappled. And we are going to, when's it gonna be? - Is it 18? - Yeah. That is going to be eight points, eight points of bludgeoning damage from this side. And then we have 22 to hit you, Joe. 22 does hit. - Wow. - Okay? And that's gonna be...

14 points of bludgeoning damage, and you are now grappled. And then Caprice? It's fine, you can skip me. That's gonna be only 10 to hit. Oh, that misses. You got out of the way. Okay, that's their turn. Oh, and with that, it is, that actually was not supposed to, sorry. Toe your own. I will see all of these guys around me, but then seeing Rajani sort of

fucking people up. I'm going to be like, I'm sorry, Caprice. I'm sorry, Iris. I think you can handle this. And I'm going to run up here one. Yeah.

Oh, you're grappled. Oh, I am grappled. Even as like a motherfucker? So my size for grappling is... Oh. He's medium. Okay, no, he can't grapple you. He smashes into you. Can you manage to kick him off as you run forward? He grabs your calf and is like hugging an oak. Am I able to squeeze in between here? Yeah.

So they are only medium-sized, so you can ignore one of their squares. I just mean the scarab, right? Oh, the scarab. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so I'm going to run up, and I would take opportunity attacks from two of them.

And I'm raging currently. I'm raging. I would bonus action rage before I... Yeah. As you step into your trance, you kick off the jade. You are triggered and not trash. So, hold on, let me take that 14 damage.

I'll go into my battle trance and then run forward. You do that. So are they gonna make opportunity attacks or? Oh yes, they are. Okay, so two of them. So three of them, right? Oh no, just two. Oh, but I would've passed into three. Natural 20 on one. Wait, what's a natural 20? I got a natural 20 right here, so you could. Oh yes, I'm going to stop that. Okay, ready for that? Love that. Eight points of bludgeoning damage.

Okay. Natural one. That misses. And a natural 20. Wow. No, actually, I'm not going to stop either one of them, to be honest with you. Okay. We should save them for later. I only have four.

- I would recommend that. - If she gets a natural 20 on someone, that could take their health all the way down and Toa can handle it. - I'm not saying you're wrong. I'm checking because you like to troll us a lot. - No. - Okay. - I think it makes sense to save them for her. - And your voice because of your allergies sounds like a really sassy New Jersey Gina bear. And we're like, we're just expecting you to fuck with us right now.

- Yes, I have 26. - Actually no, I'm just gonna save them. - 30 points of bludgeoning damage? - I'm just gonna save them, okay? - 30 points of bludgeoning damage, and that's factoring in all of the heads. - You poor boy. - Well, besides, I told you the already damaged shows after. - But you have bludgeoning now. - 'Cause they're smashing into you as you run past them.

Yes, yeah. Oh, you're raging? Yeah. You took 15 points. Yeah, that would have been a total waste of mine. Oh, absolutely. I agree with your assessment. Is the Dungeon Master trying to stop you? You just like getting natural 20s without me stopping. I agree, I enjoy that as well. I enjoy that.

I have a question, Dan. So I'm trying to read it to figure out how it would work. Whether summoned creatures, because they are made by my magic, are they affected by Bless?

And so I'm trying to read about it because they get... They're creatures. Yeah, they're creatures. They're creatures, so yeah. Well, no, because I have blessed for my potion summoner. So some people are saying yes, some people are saying no. The rule is basically you ask the DM. I think if it's from Potion of Heroism, I would say no. Yeah, yeah. I would agree. I would agree. Basically, if it was something that affects you, but it is summoning another creature. If it was the actual blessed spell, that's different. But if the potion only affects you. Yes, I would agree. That's very interesting.

argument. I could see it going on. So the reason they say to ask the DM is because Bless's concentration and Summon's are concentration, you can't do both. But it does say from the potion of heroism that it's not concentration. Like, otherwise I wouldn't be able to do what I'm doing. Yes, but I know that's why I can summon him. Right, right, exactly. Tell them.

Okay, great. So I will run up and I will attack twice. And they both hit.

How do we know what her AC is? Well, presumably they both hit. I mean, you got a 19 and 18 plus whatever its hit is, which is probably 10 or 11. The lowest we've hit right now is 23. So, is his AC, or her AC is presumably lower than 30? At least 23. We know of 23 hits. You're fine. 23 hits, we're good. Let me make, I should have done this, but I want to see if Windfury Crocs...

Does it? It didn't go to two. No, it does not. So then I will... I just noticed your new mouth. Henry Pug and his brother. It's Henry Pug and his brother. The colors are so much more vibrant than I anticipated. Yeah, I thought that was My Hero Academia because the colors are so vibrant.

No, it just had me pugging his brother. It looks like-- Give away that I won. Do I reroll ones and twos as a Barbarian instead of as Rodak? That's Rodak. As a weapons master. Right, and Barbarians don't have them. Okay, perfect. 10. This is ganked. Trying to reroll his ones and twos. This is fucking ganked. That's why I checked! Cheating Michael Keaton. 13, 14, 16, 17. That's Batman.

- And also Jack Frost, shamey on Sam Raimi. - So 37 points of black naked. - 37 points? - There's a 37 point tip. - Okay. - 37 points. - I don't believe in the good news. - Okay. - I'm a cheater because of this movie. - I do.

Care to win? He's a cheater. As you smash and smash and smash, and you are absolutely massive, but Brijani is so much bigger than you are still. But your massive maul, your totem, rather, is smashing in. It's cleaving off dragon scale, and wounds are...

and she's letting out these growls as you're smashing into her. And she looks around and she says, "Get away from me!" And she raises both of her wings and smashes them down in an incredible gust of wind. I need everyone around Rajani to make a attack. - I assume that Iris and I are exempt. - Yes. - Yeah. - Dexterity saving throw is a smash down.

I got it. 18 plus 3 is 22. 21. Let's go. Thank God for Bless. You're going to take half of us. I don't want to take half. Oh, that's concentration. That's not good. That means I got to roll a con saving throw.

- I thought I had some kind of resilient con. - What do you guys got? - 19. - 19? - I just get proficiency in con saving. - Nikki, what did your scarab roll? - Oh, I didn't roll for my scarab. - Okay, all right, all right, all right. - What's it rolling, dex? - Dex. - S-crab. - S-crab's the epic. - I love S-crab. - It's a plus three? - Plus three. - 11. - 11, okay. TC's 19. So anyone who fails is going to take 15 points of bludgeoning damage and is not prone.

- I did not fail. - And then you're gonna take half of 15 and not be not prone. - So for Khan, I have to-- - Sorry, what was that? - Half of 15. - Half of 15. - So if I pass, I took seven, I just have to roll greater than a 10 for my Khan saving throw, right?

Yes. Or equal to ten. Ten or better. Me to be. Got it. As she, with that, she bumps her wings. No, no, no, no, no, no. I get blessed. I get blessed. Force of air knocking me back, unable to make opportunity attacks as she does this. She flies away and lands behind Caprice. No!

I'm here in the stomping of this massive dragon that flies over you and she is looming behind you. Oh, actually. I'm good, I'm good. I forgot about Bless, I'm good. He passes. I forgot that because he is short-footed, he gets advantage on this. Oh yeah, he can come from the side. And so he takes half of that then? Yes, he'll take half of that.

And that was 15, so we take... Seven. Okay. Seven Healy points. End with that. You all... You're hearing the clanging and the grunting of the dwarves in this protective dome as they're working hard to finish this. The energy pulsing. And you hear a loud... As...

as a burst of that same shivering, uh, shimmering energy that had sealed it, sealed away the, the, uh, the chain god merges with each side of the, of the glaive and bursts out on either side into two, uh,

bursts of energy. I need everyone in the room to make a, what the hell is this? What is this? A wisdom saving throw. Are you still holding your thing? I still am holding my thing, which means that, no, I think Felix and Toa might be in range. Are you guys 30 feet? No, I'm out of 30 because I moved 30.

DC is 15. Okay, good, I pass. This is Wiz. I should be all right. I'm out, too. Okay. You said just saving, though? DC, Wiz, I'm saving her. Oh, and come on, I'm not even good. Got a 29. He fails. 28. I rolled a 20.

Natty, 20? Ooh my god, yeah, 20. Holy shit. Did anyone get less than a 15? I got an 18. I was worried that it would be a 19. Put your finger of shame down. I raised my hand.

Okay, so you failed? I scarab again. So both of you are on Torvald's side. So the energy bursts over you as you are blasted with the power of law. And I need you to scarab and Lufti to both make a roll of d6 for me, please. Oh no. Six. Six.

The scarab, you see as the scarab is blasted, it feels, it's restrained almost like it's under heavy shackles. It is affected by the slow spell, which is minus two AC, minus two on dexterity saving throws, no reaction, either one action or bonus action. And if it has a multi-attack, it only does one attack. I got a five. Five?

You, um, you, well, you guys got pretty lucky with these. As you feel compelled to submit, you kneel and you are now prone. Okay, with that, it is Carissa's turn. No one on her's side failed, right? No.

- I love that you've split this into a law chaos room. I just want to commend you before I take my turn. - Very cool. - Very cool. - I turn around and I see Rajani and I'm surrounded by monsters and I'm, you're not doing the right thing. You're confused. You don't understand.

I've still got to fuck you up, though, okay? I'm going to hit the strings of my viol and create a huge destructive wave of musical energy in all directions. Let's go. I will cast destructive waves. Everyone that I choose within 30 feet of me, and I will exempt Iris, obviously. No, no, I'll exempt Iris. Uh...

Irish just gets ripped apart. These three minions have to make constitution saving throws and also Rajani. I totally expected you to do that. I'm just saying this, and, uh...

And with that, you feel the suppression of magic from this radiating from these jade golems as the DC is lowered by two. Oh, okay. So it's a DC 15 constitution thing. Roger that. That's very sneaky. I love that. But did this take damage either way? Um...

- Yes, if it takes half of them. - Okay, so as you burst out, every single jade golem around you is completely shattered around you. - Hell yeah. - Rajani is going to roll a constitution saving throw and she's going to pass, so she'll take half of that? - She will take half of what I have to roll now, just one moment. - And as they are shattered around you, you no longer feel that suppression effect. Iris and Caprice. - 11.

And Felix actually feels fine as well. What suppression? Oh shit. There's a radiant magic suppression around these. So we don't really know what it's doing. We're just assuming that it's fucking us up. At some point, it's gonna fuck your plans. Yeah, probably. 17.

All right, you're gonna take 16 points of thunder damage. 16, okay. And half if you succeeded, which you did. And then you're gonna take 10...

- 19, 20 points of necrotic damage or half. And you're not knocked prone, presumably because you're immune or because you succeeded. - She succeeded, dude. - Yeah, so I knock out everybody and I do some damage to her. - She used her wings to quickly, to shield herself from this destructive burst from your violin. - Iris, I know I can rely on you.

Help! And I'll give you inspiration. And with that... What is your inspiration? 10. With that, she has no more legendary actions, so it's Felix's turn. So seeing all this happen, I'm going to steal myself and kind of with knife in right hand and left hand open, I'm going to make like a twisting motion and fire a fourth level ice knife. And there's almost a

a level of steam that kind of explodes as the knife leaves my person amongst all of the flames. So it's a regular attack. That's so good.

That is going to be 18 plus 11 is a 29 to hit. 29 to hit, that hits, yeah. So that's going to be all of this is ice damage. Rajani? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, I have a question. So this water, this is open over a cross, right? Yes. Yeah, yeah. And Caprice has to, Caprice is going to take some of this. I don't know why I have like a little. Sorry, pal. Cold damage? Probably. I'm resistant. Good. I get to reroll ones and twos.

No, you can cheat your spells. It's not evocation. It's a conteration. Oh, okay. Okay, seven. Thank you, though. That's gonna be 10, 16, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, plus 9 is 30. One. One plus five is 36.

And let me make sure there's nothing else I need to add. Bear with me. No, that's it. What did I say, 36? 36 ice damage to Caprice and to the dragon. 36. Does she need a roll? You don't have to, sorry, minus nine. Does she roll?

No, because it's an attack roll. Oh, okay. So again, you, what is 36 minus 25? 25, 25, 25 for you. And then I have to? And then you do your thing. Okay, so 12. 12. So 12 to Breeze, 35 to the dragon. I still need to roll.

concentration. Your hand turns this shimmering blue as that shard of ice pierces deep into her flesh and lets out this pained growl. And with that, I got ten. Holy shit. And I'm gonna move... With that, it is her turn. I move closer to the dwarves in the center. She is going to...

She is going to lean back in the most grandiose pose that she can. She says, I am the eternal blossom. I am a being of good, a being of order. Bow before me. And her scales shimmer and radiate. And she has a...

She radiates with a mesmerizing presence. Everyone within 120 feet of her needs to make a wisdom saving throw. I'm not. I'm very much... It's not a spell, I assume? Well, that's an advantage. Wisdom saving throw. Wisdom. Okay. All right. Natural 20. Oh, I'm not advantaged. Thank you. I feel either way.

Oh boy, I'd like to twist this, if I may. No. Yes, you can. I would like to twist it as well. Yes, you can. 24. Hey everybody, my name's Chubby Checkers. This is a little dance I like to call the trip. Okay, we're good. I rolled two ones. I'm good, I'm good. I got a 23. You were meant to die. It's your time. So who, who, uh...

I fail through a figure. Do you fail, Rhys? 19. 19. If there's levels of failure, I fail the worst possible way. So mesmerizing. You are now charmed by Radonni. Oh no.

Okay. Oh, shit, for real? So, is just Toa? Just Toa's trauma. That's the biggest of us all. And you're going to be the saving throw at the end. I'm the big one! Can I say, except you're dead. And then she's going... Unbelievable. She is going to...

Lee, raise her claw at Caprice and swipe down at you. Oh no. Okay, I'll yell out as I see the swipe coming because she's projecting her punches. 27. Don't fuck this up! And, oh no, no, no, I won't do that. 27, okay. She rakes your skin and she's keeping an eye on the...

The radiating magic from your violin. Yeah, yeah. Nine plus six is 15. 15 points of damages? Yeah. All right, I will roll concentration. Okay. 13. That's easy, so... Rolling again. That's gonna be a 23 to hit. That hits. She claws the shit out of you with 16 points of slashing damage.

16. I'll roll for concentration. I'm fine. Okay.

She's gonna roll again. Oh my god. And she leans down, opens her jaws, her tendrils are almost to the floor as she is going to try to bite you. And is only going to get, however, a 17. That hits. Okay. She tears into you as she's going to... No, I'm just saying stupid shit. Acknowledge my stupidness.

That is going to be 16 points of piercing damage as it tears into your flesh. Natural 20 on my concentration. Let's go. You should do that every time. And finally a natural 20. Let me just quickly do some health math here. I've rolled like three natural 20s tonight. There's only one that's been on attacks. And as she tears into your flesh, she's going to look at you, Toa, and say...

My dear friend, protect me! Protect my plan, the future that we have seen!

With that. So is it charmed by the book? Yes. You're not mind-controlled. I'm friendly to her, but I'm still friendly to Caprice, right? Yes. That's good. I'll lift it. Your turn. I'm going to... It's half my movement to get up, right? Right, yes. Okay, I'm going to spend half my movement to get up and brush the dust off and pick my stick up and my spoon and...

That wasn't very nice, and I'll swing back and forth and make an attack on both of the... Okay. What are they, golems? Jade golems. Jade golems next to me. Because I am a shameless hacker. No, I think that you take inspiration from things that are great. Well, one's a natural fail. Uh...

17? 17 hits. As you smash into it, it cracks and shatters into pieces. Okay, we're going to say that's four. Yeah, that's fine. And then I will make a secondary attack on number two. You smash your spoon, attempt to smash your spoon against it.

- That is a 20 something. - Yeah, their AC is 16. It shatters as well. They don't roll damage, they're minions. - Okay, so they were good, so that was 25. So I now have, so that's 15. I can go here, I'm just gonna move right here. - Roger that. With that. - Man.

She is going to... Oh! Shit. Never mind. What is she going to do? She's going to cast a spell as she is going to say, I'm tired of your music.

- He won't get out of my hands! - As she's going to, you need to make a charisma saving throw, so you cast banishment on him. - Yeah, I'm just gonna use my reaction to cast another fifth level counter. - What? - You do that. - The entire time I'm singing, I want my baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back,

- Yeah, Caprice is focused, man. I gotta be the counter spell man. I'm good. - With that, it's Iris' turn. - Iris and the beetle. - Wonderful. - And the beetle is slowed. - The beetle is slowed, so it's gonna move 20 feet, 'cause that's all it can move is half its speed. - To where? - Just closer to her.

- So that's one and a half, three, zero. - I wonder what happens if you're on the line. - And that's all it can do. - Ignite? - It just exploded and then I'm like, "Yes." - And then I am going to cast Spiritual Weapon at a third level right on top of her. - Okay, let's go. - You also notice that I am surrounded by a pool of my own blood. - Oh God. - The crook and flail appears right on top of Rajani and swings in hard.

- Battle beetle. - Isn't that a thing? - My upcoming series. - Okay, so yeah, so I have to make an attack on her, sorry. - Mm-hmm.

That was a seven plus a five. What's seven plus five? That was a seven, right? Thirteen. No, twelve. Twelve. Yeah, wow. Sorry, I was thinking of a song. Iris. How's it feel? Beetleback ribs. It feels terrible. Yeah, so my spiritual weapon won't hit. And then for my actual action. Ribs are good.

If you cast a spell for a bonus action, can you use an item for an action, even if that is technically casting? Yes. Because then I'm going to use my Ankh

to do mask your wounds on everyone. - Ooh. - On everyone? - That's an action, right? - I used a bonus action for spiritual weapon. So I'm using my action.

Wait, where's your spirit? My spiritual weapon is on top of her. Oh, what did you take? Oh, it didn't hit. I missed. Oh, to cast a spell from the, because you're using the item. Because I'm using the item. Oh, I got it. That's fine. You all feel the warmth of the sand over you. Can I make a request? Can I make a request that Iris says, Onk, go to horny jail? No. Got him. Nice try. Okay.

And then I'll tell you what the... I'll roll my hit points as it starts. And I should be able to get... Yep, I can even get... Oh my god! So, I'm gonna get everybody. You're so centralized. As the warm sand...

as the warm sand waltzes over you, she looks around the room and says, "You still do not see my future. "Perhaps now you will." And she bursts with this lightning. Everyone make a charisma saving throw, please. The entire room. - That's not good. - The scarab and iris are at advantage. - Natural 20, that's the fourth one to make. - Charismatic is not how I would describe Fjord. - Hello, lucky dice. - Can I twist this? - Yeah, absolutely.

Oh god, I might need to as well. Takes two out. Fuck me. Yeah, I'm gonna give it a shot. I'll say two out there. I'm gonna get rid of this bad boy. Everyone gets 22 points of health. Not bad, wow. I'm definitely not near death anymore. Love that money. Yeah, so I'm gonna go with a 12.

For charisma's wealth. Yeah. I failed catastrophically. Yeah, I think I did too. Oh, and then I'm sorry, I'm doing a what? What kind of saving throw? Charisma. Oh, and I'm a... Capriccio, what do you get? 28. Natural 20. Hey, congrats. 27. 27. Twins! We both rolled natural 20s. Yeah. As... Oh, and then I was scared. As...

You all are fighting as the blast feels very familiar. And the three of you all look and where Toa and Felix were, they blink out of existence. As Toa and Felix. Put a marker down where you walk. You blink out of existence. And my scarab failed as well. The scarab also blinks out of existence. Can I use a marker? I got you.

I also... Here. You can use this strange animal. I have D2. Give me a D2 for this, Kira. Here's a D2. I'll pull out my D2. There's my D2. There's my D2. That's all I can say about that. I got one, too.

I have this. Clearly, when they all hit the same Kickstarter. Okay, well, we can link it here. Okay.

Felix and Toa. As you break out of existence. You're going on an adventure. And the beetle. And the beetle. You realize. Can the beetle talk for the sake of this scenario? Yeah, do you want to role play as the beetle? You can role play as the beetle. You guys are enjoying your only romantic moment. There's a horrible scarecrow. You are in comfortable wooden chairs of the finest quality.

craftsmen in the Makani Islands. As you sit in the sand, you hear the lapping of the waves on the shore. You hear the cry of gulls, the cool breeze. As you're being served drinks,

by Goliaths with tendrils hanging from their chin. And you are all relaxing, the two of you, and you see that the beetle is also scurrying around and digging in the sand very pleasantly. He's building a little scarab sand, a little sand pyramid.

In the sand. As you look to your... He's got a little bikini on. Yeah, exactly right. As you turn to your right, Felix, and you see Milo. He's sitting and enjoying a drink with you guys. And he doesn't speak, but he's just... His eyes are so happy. He's at peace. And you haven't seen Milo

in since the last horrible dream that you've had. And here he's fine, he's totally safe. - I would immediately run to him and like scoop him up and hug him and grab a drink and like show him around the Makani Islands since I've been there.

And it would never even cross my mind that this is out of the ordinary. And you are banished to a dream world for about six seconds, but it feels much longer like a dream. As you are in pure idyllic beauty. As you see Golden Lotus.

As you turn, you're hugging Milo and Toa as you're all laughing together, enjoying your drinks. And Golden Lotus, in her tabaxi form, her hands clasped, says, Is this not a future you wish? I can make it happen. Stop this nonsense. Convince your friends. This is the future I saw. This is the future I was told.

And that happens. And we will come back to what is happening. At the end of this campaign, when we're doing exactly that, we're going to be like, man, fuck that golden Lotus. I'm not happy. Andy's not happy right now. Felix is really not happy right now. And the Beatles also there. Uh, okay. Uh,

And they blink out of existence for a moment. There was a scarab on the chair. Of course it's you and me. Yeah, the scarab was like building sand pyramids. A thousand miles away. Toa's just drinking cup. Toa, oh, it's your turn. You're out. You're out. So now it is Herja's, it's the Forge's turn. And once again, it blasts out. Everyone, please make a wisdom saving throw. Not us. Not us. We're just having a good old time. We're gone. We're another world, man.

- Not me. - Natural 20, gotta give it up. - Gotta give it up. - So many 20s. What is it, wisdom? - Wisdom, DC 15. - Oh, I passed. - Ooh, I passed. - Okay. - Just by the dice of my teeth. - You blast out and resist the power of law and chaos. With that, it is Caprice's turn. - Fuck. - I am the luckiest motherfucker on the planet. - He says and then runs away.

You already have inspiration. No. I used it. You used it. I did, yeah. I needed it. I didn't think I was going to make it. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I'll turn to Rajani and I'll be like, yo, tell me what you want, what you really, really want. I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want. Tell me what you want, what I really, really

really, really want. I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want. Yo, tell me what you want. And I'll just continue to repeat that. And as I do, I start to transform and grow into a dinosaur because that's what I fucking do. I'll cast Polymorph and T-Rex myself. Eh.

And King Karool returns as he always does. Holy shit. As you grow into a massive crocodile Tyrannosaurus Rex. Damn him. Why'd you do that? I said thank you because I'm sorry, but. You know I healed you, right? Yeah, but like. But you lose what? I was at four hit points when he healed me, so thank you.

- As you turn into a crocodilian Tyrannosaurus Rex, still dwarfed by the size of this massive dragon, but still not that, but not as much. - I guess that means that I still technically have my, no, I used my bonus action to inspire you with my thank you. - Oh, you did? - Yes. - Oh, okay. Well then I accept. - And then I polymorphed into a T-Rex. - Then I forgive you for dropping that thing. - That means I don't have any more things I can do.

I only have a reaction, and that's the conclusion of my turn. So yeah, I am now tiny arms creeping up on Golden Lotus. That's me. And she says, I have spent the past day telling you exactly what I want. She's going to tear into the Tyrannosaurus X.

Well played. Well fucking played. It's like you're not even listening! Well fucking played. As the music drops, however,

And she's going to get a natural fucking one. I accept. As she is so frustrated at this point that she stumbles and misses, despite the massive target. That's how Dungeons & Dragons works. You hear the T-Rex go, don't fuck this up! Felix, you are enjoying the cool breeze, the island trees. You have a new island home, and it is perfection. It is idyllic. You never want to leave.

You never want to leave. I heard that. And with that, it is her turn. You get no action. I'm enjoying my life. Drink some Natty Bumbo on the beach. You use your action to drink Natty Bumbo on the beach. Yeah. That's exactly right. And talk to my brother and introduce my brother to Todd. You don't want a cool Budweiser? I would love a cool Budweiser. Budweiser. It hasn't been invented yet. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I guess that's right. That's right. Well, do kids remember the Budweiser dogs? What's that? Do kids remember the Budweiser dogs? Yes. Kids? No. People our age do. Hold on a second. How far away is Lufty from Caprice? Far? More than 60 feet. Yeah. Because she's almost exactly 60 feet from me. Three. Oh, no. Six. Nine. Oh, I can make a warp. I can make a warp.

I don't like that statement. Goldblast is about to use her legendary action, throw T-Rex into Luffy. Oh, no. Or, yeah. T-Rex. Yeah, 60 feet away. Exactly 60 feet. Actually, no. Actually, she's going to say, You will see. You will all be blinded by my radiance. As she takes off into the air, flying over T-Rex.

you, Caprice. You get an opportunity attack, exactly. And she's going to fly over and she's going to land right in front of the forge, kind of right there at the center of the room. Like where she started? Yeah. I'm going to use my bite, so there's a chance that you could grab it. She is gargantuan.

Okay. Then I'm going to use my bite. That's a big one. That's going to be a 29 to hit. It's going to be... Actually, can a gargantuan...

Can you grapple one size bigger? I want to say yes. It's a disadvantage, though. It's a disadvantage. But if it hits, it's a grapple. So she's actually going to get fucking grappled. Okay! I grab her neck with my huge T-Rex mouth, and can I get another D12 from someone? Does it need to make a saving throw of

- I'm sorry. - One, two, wow. - No, he's still on the road. - His rolled very well. - She was over here. - She was over here. - I was trying, I'm sorry. I was in the middle of putting her like under him.

Well, no, no, so she's not under him. And so she's going to fly over, and I'll say that she lands right here. So she's trying to fly away, and you're going to snap onto her tail. 18 points of...

piercing damage and you did not succeed, you succeeded the grapple. - No, no, no, so a grapple when hits, it's automatic. If she's grappled, so no matter what, so the escape DC is when I need to use an action to escape, that's the DC. - Oh! - So you're just clamped onto her. - So she flies over you and as she's about to get out of your radius, you manage to

quickly move and smash onto her tail and she's struggling with her mighty wings flapping away. She's flying slightly in the air. How much damage was that? Sorry, I didn't, I've been-- - It was 17 or 18, so it takes the 17. I will try to do my scream through my now biting mouth.

I love this. She is still-- Okay, doesn't matter. And she's gonna say, "Be blinded by my radiance!" And she bursts, she's gonna cast Sunburst, 'cause no one here can counter spell, and she's going to burst, and the golden light of dawn radiates through the room, and it's so powerful, so incredible, it is singeing. Everyone make a constitution saving throw for me.

This is not good. How are we doing on twisties, McNisties? Feel free to use them. Yes, feel free to use them. I rolled a two. Use one, use one.

- Nobody can count that shit anyway, it's safe level, Jesus. - Does that mean I can roll out of it, you think? - Let me use one as well. - All right. - I mean, not without rolling. - Oh, that's got a lot. - 12, 12, 24. - You could technically counter on the level three counter. - 25. - I got a natural one, but I'm a T-Rex, so I'm gonna take it. - Yeah, I think that's reasonable. - I have 138. - Do we have the, where's the twist? - Is that, if you fail? - What's the pass? - It's 19.

44 points of radiant damage as it blasts out Xinjiang and you are blinded for one minute. What was the total? It was 44. We're 22 if you succeed and you're not blinded if you succeed.

The brilliant rays of dawn almost singed your eyes out of your skull. It is horrible. I am a blind T-Rex. Ah!

- Just kidding, I'm fine. My turn! - Hey! - Oh, sorry, dragon bro. - Yeah, we gotta get some cards stacked. - So I'm gonna move, so that's 15, 20. I'm gonna come up. You guys better stop that right now! And I'm gonna bonk him on the head. - There's a giant dome of raiding energy. - You can still try that. - That changes things. - They're under a barrier. - Yeah. - I didn't realize that.

Just go kill Torvald. It's fine. Just murder him.

So there is no, like, okay, it's a fully radiated shaboot. You get the sense that you need to kill Rajani in order to break up, because this is a game. I do get that sense now, that the DM has said that. It turns out that Dungeons & Dragons is still a fucking game. It's a what? This isn't happening in region. If you die in Dungeons & Dragons, do you die in real life? I do. Uh.

I do, I do, I do. Look at us just hanging out over here on the side of the beach. Yeah, we're just having a party. All right, so I'm gonna make three attacks. Oh my god. Whatever island you want. This is gonna be so, we'll get, go ahead. I feel like it's the one we went to in the first round. Wow, that was fucking awful. That was god awful. Does a 17 hit? I'd be very happy. Okay.

- As she's flying in the air, you're still able to get her. She's struggling against her massive wings are beating. She's struggling. You're trying to swipe her at her like a pinata. - Stop it! What's this, silly? I can't hear you, it's moving.

And with that, she's going to swing her thumb. She can't swing her tail down. Toots in the fucking mouth of a Tyrannosaurus. Sucks to suck. How is she going to... Drop it. Drop it. Oh! It pauses for a second and you think you heard it. You have to go into the lips. Let go. Drop it.

What do you have? What do you have? He's going to swing her. Oh, she's going to lean down and as you're trying to attack her, she's going to lean down and try to bite you. Ooh. Obviously lift him. Obviously. That is going to be a 23 to hit. That hits. Okay, that's going to be a bite attack. Chomp, chomp, chomp.

Oh, when I take damage in a T-Rex polymorph, 17 points of piercing damage, and she tears into your flesh. Iris, you're up. Wait one moment. I drop back into Caprice. Do you twist it?

I mean, we can. Let's twist it. Let's twist it. Yeah. We got him. Use him. I took 44 points of damage, so I need to roll higher than a 22 in order to succeed. Which means that I need... It's worth a try. It's worth a try. That I need... But it's a conceiving throw. 18 or higher. Yeah. I don't... Go for it. My scarab is gone. We pulled it out. Go for it. How's he gone? Concentration. Oh. Six points. Ah.

Ah, close, good try. All right. We have to try, we gotta try. We got the twist, we might as well use them. We got about as much benefit as we were gonna get out of that guy. So she's now ungrappled. Got it. Okay. So it was from the blast, right? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So we should have rewinded a little bit and done. So she can now move on her, if that helps. Roger that, yeah. I think that's fine. She'll still try to, she'll still bite Lufti. As it bursts out, the Tyrannosaurus gets blasted away and she is now in the air and is going to Lance.

Okay, Iris, what's up? I'm blinded, so how does that affect spiritual weapon? Just disadvantage. Okay. On tackles. So, even for like moving it to her? No, no. I would say that the dragon is so massive and she's right behind you, you'd know where she is. So I would say that you can easily move it to her. You might just whiff. And I'm going to whiff.

You'd think that you'd know where she is, but it's difficult in the Crook and Flail. Swing and a miss. Swing and a miss. I am going to want my concentrations down. You're not disadvantaged. Let's be careful about that. Oh. You don't have to see it. Oh. As long as it's there. Just roll. Take your highest roll. They both suck, so I miss. I would say roll it again. Thank you. Mike wants to give you another roll. One more die. Roll it again. That was my fault for not knowing the rules. 17.

Woo!

19. Oh. That misses. Okay, that was fair. It was fair. Wait, I rolled a 14, right? Kelsey, you saw that? Yes. Should be plus whiz, right? Yeah, so it's actually plus five. I was going to say. So 14, so it's 19. 20, 21. 21, that hits. It smashes into it. I can't math. Let's go. It's not your fault. You know. D&D always makes fun of me. We've had a boss fight since Inziri. Like a real boss fight since Inziri. So this is now your spiritual weapon instead of your scarab.

- Oh, I love that battle now. - Bingo, bingo, bongo. Isn't that cool? Isn't that cool? - It's so big. - Sorry. - Six points of damage. - Six points of damage. - Yeah, you're a gag me with a spell. - But it's horse damage, so that's cool. And then for my actual spell, I'm gonna cast Pull the Dead on it. - Love that. - It's a wisdom saving throw.

Wisdom, you say? Uh, shit, does a 15. That misses, or that's, yeah, it misses. So, and she's been hit, right? Yeah. I'm going to use a legendary resistance. Okay, so she takes no damage then.

as it gulms and she steals herself and one of them is down. One of what? One of the... What did this one say? I don't know.

Layer action. You all are, suddenly the two of you are zooped back from the dream. They are underneath the dragon. I need you both to make strength saving throws. So Felix is here. I'm not under the dragon. And the scarab doesn't poof back. So fuck your strength saving throw. Toa makes a strength saving throw. Oh, strength? I'm advantaged on those.

God, I'm really... Shit. God, my lips hurt real bad. And you're going to take half of this damage if you succeed. Oh wow, that was terrible. Is he still a big Toa or is he regular Toa? Or rather... He's still big. Is he still a big Toa or a big Toa? He's 19. So five, but it's a saving throw, right? Five, six, seven, so 14, 15, 16, 17.

So, no, 17. I rolled literally 7. So 7 points of damage total. As you are pushed outside from underneath her. As you almost...

as you have been enjoying, you don't know how long you were in that idyllic future with Milo and Toa in the Makani Islands, but you are, it is terrible to get back. - Where did you go? - A very pleasant place in the islands. - No, it's weird when you're in the middle of something and you just leave like that. Why do you smell like coconut? - Am I still charmed?

- From like two rounds ago, three rounds ago? - You probably should have had some sort of anti-saving throw. - No, you're not trying to anymore. Nope, nope, nope. - Am I still blind? - You need to re-roll the saving throw. - Oh, did I get to re-roll at the end of my turn? - You can do it. - Okay, I'll do that. - And so you are no longer charmed. - Wait, how did I charm you? - And it's a what? Did you say it was pawn?

It was Kanya. It was some big AoE blast, and I failed. Okay, then you are, yeah, you no longer have charms, as you feel the power of the rod. I don't trust my head anymore! With that, I feel the power of the rod! Come, my servants! You will serve me if they will not! And the golems jump down again. Oh, classy. As they radiate, we're gonna put one on each, three on each side emerge, so one on each. Two are going to go on Caprice. Yep.

Because she's fucking pissed at him. I'm thinking horrible, horrible things. As they are, they land there, as they're all going to make attacks, they only have one attack to save on time. We're going to do two on Caprice. Natural, are they both? Wow, that was terrible. Okay, Iris. Toa. Come on. Come on, okay. We got Felix left.

They all miss. Roger that. I did not roll higher than a five. Okay, that's it. And you feel that radiate, that they have that connection as they're all, there's some sort of magical connection between her and these Jade Golems as they all pulse with that energy and you feel their arcane suppressions radiating out from them. With that...

It is Toaster. Oh god. That was not very nice! I mean, it was pleasant, but it wasn't nice! And I'm going to Vage as my bonus action, and I will attack twice. And I'll scroll this all together. Okay, so let me just put these dice together. That does not proc. Okay.

That does not proc. I am these days. 14 plus 11. 11. 11 is... Let me just go to action. Oh, and I'm referencing attacking. That should be... 14 plus 11 is a 20. That hits. And then these two go together. Ooh, this might actually miss. 6 plus 11 is 17 plus...

18, 19, 20. Does a 20 hit? It does. Okay. Oh, okay. That's what I see. Thank you. So that's two hits. And I need some B4s for those as well. Okay, so we have 4, 8, 12, 16, 17, 18, 19...

plus 20 is 29, 39 points of... 39. You smash and smash and smash and 39. Jesus. That's another use of rage. Okay, you're smashing in recklessly. She is going to...

And she's going to look, she looks down and uses another of her legendary actions to say, you've returned and you still strike me. You still resist my beautiful future. So be it. She leans down and centered on her, a fireball erupts. She casts fireball as one of her legendary actions. I need everyone to...

I think that can get everybody except for Caprice. What's the radius? 20. 20 feet. 20 is the radius. Yeah, yeah. Okay, everyone but Caprice. I've been able to get up, but I don't know. Well, the range is 150, but the radius, the area is 20 feet. 20-foot area. And what is this again? Firebolt. Oh, I'm sorry. We're not making a save. 22-1. Yes, dex save. A dex save.

This is 19. Oh, I'm immune. 24. 6. Are you just bad all the time now? 10, 13. Only with Investiture of Flame, which is a 6-level spell. No. I'm digging it. 23 points of fire damage if you fail. Half of you succeed. I took 1 damage. So 11, 11 if you succeed. Shouldn't you still be hurting her with fire? She's immune too. Okay.

With that, it is... Whose turn was that even? I don't remember. You just go? Who's won? Toa. Toa, okay. With that, the forge once again hammers, and you see as Torvald and Herja are working feverishly, you can see that each of these bursts of energy

of this energy, the power of Striga, the power of death is being channeled into this thing and then combining with each side of this double glaive and bursting out as it bursts out again. And you see that each, both Herja and Torvald are slowly changing with each eruption. As you see that Torvald's hands are starting to harden and turn to a shade of jade. As you see Herja's, Herja is starting to get

dark fur hair on her arms as they are working away. It bursts out, everyone please make a wisdom saving throw for me as it arrives. Yeah, what in the hell is right? Shit! It's terrible! Can you take out a twist for me? Yep. Me as well. Me too. Okay. That's three. Please, please, wisdom! I need to use my best d20. What is it?

Yeah, I actually fucking killed it for wisdom this DC 15 Oh 27 money natural 15 Oh the DCs 15 we knew that yeah Stupid as hell

For this it's her, so all her DCs are 19, the lair and the terrain are all 15. 12. What side are you on? D6. You are on Torvald's side, D6 for all. Oh, D6. Roll a D6 for me, Tom. Oh, me, sorry. You failed, yeah.

I got a six. Oh, that's the... Slow roll. Should we roll? We both got sixes. So you're now under the effects of slow, as you feel the weight of shackles on you. With that... I don't like this. Until the next forge action, obviously. Okay, with that, it is Caprice's turn. I use a bite, I use a spell. Okay, that's... I...

You're slow. I think that I will just... If I... I don't remember how Thunder Wave... It's a cube from you. It's a cube from you, so you can basically pick a cube in front of you to go, If I move here, could I hit both of them with this cube here, or is that not... Well, you hit... You could go here, right, and point it that way, and then it's ten feet above. Or you hit Iris as well. Well, no, if it's this way...

Well, I'm saying otherwise, if you want to hit the other two, it's going to hit Iris. So yes, you can hit both if you angle it. I'm going to step aside. I'm still singing for the purposes of...

I'll tell you what I want. Annoying Rajani as much as possible. Is someone getting the best? The best! The best! The best! The best! The best! The best! The best! And I couch Thunderwave, which they need to make a constitution statement. Do you think half the images they fail? Yep. As soon as you do your scream out the best, they're like...

- I hate Foo Fighters! - Yep, and... - Foo Fighters are overrated! Cave Girl isn't even that cool! - I'll turn towards Rajani and I'll be like, "Fuck you, Rajani, you fucking beetroot! "You got this, Toa!" And I'll give him inspiration. - Thank you! - I think she has one longer, oh no, she doesn't.

Felix, you're up. So this is after the fire and all the shit that's happened, the fireball. I'm suddenly thrust back into what is happening around me, and I look at my hands as my brother turns to sand and drifts. Oh, he literally turns to sand, he looks at you terribly, and he reaches out and begs for help, and then... No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's a great idea. Milo, no! That's a great idea. And as I look from my hands up to Rajani, I say...

How could you? How could you do this? And I am no longer covered in flame. I'm steaming. Oh, okay. As the investiture flame is gone...

It's like an attack on Titan when Aaron gets out of his Titan. That's all. I thought she was literally standing. I can't believe he would do this to me! And I rear back, and then the dagger begins to glow a purplish blue, and I lean forward as I cast Arcane Hand, and a giant fist comes from my fist towards Rajani as I try to punch her in the head. So that's gonna be... We need a hero!

That's gonna be a regular attack, just a regular attack here with Bless. He goes, "I'm very blessed." Oh, let's go. That's gonna be a 18 plus 11 is 29 to hit. 29 to hit? Oh, that'll hit, yeah. So then we've got the old 4d8 force damage. Force damage is so... You are so charming, sorry. Keep rolling, keep rolling.

I was like, bullshit, I'm charmed. You can re-roll at the end of your turn, though, so you can re-roll the charm. So I re-roll the two, and I roll, like, a fucking madman, and that's gonna be 27 damage to hit. Force damage. How much? 27 force damage. Smashes, and this big arcane hand erupts and clocks her right in the jaw. You hear a loud crack as her long serpentine neck kind of is thrust to the side. Oh, no.

And I do nothing else. And she turns to you and says, I have shown you the future that I can bring you, what I can give you. And 27, let me just math that out before I forget.

Okay. Okay, with that, it is... She's out of... Oh, it's her turn. It's Biggie Batty. But Rich, you can re-roll the saving throw. I don't know if you re-rolled that for the charm. I haven't re-rolled, so I've had two turns since then. You've had two turns since then, so just re-roll that. Give it a couple shots. Okay. With that, it is off her turn. Oh!

What's the DC? 19? Oh, no, no, no. Yeah, 19. I don't know. I got meat. This might actually be better. But you have this thing. Guidance. Do I? I gave you an inspiration. Yeah, inspiration. Sorry. Yeah, so I pass. You'll at least get a one. This is why we did that.

And she is going to, oh, and he's gone, but I'm going to do this anyway. She's going to turn and says, I have shown you.

I have shown you the future that I have seen. Join me. Join me! And she's going to cast Dominate Person. Wisdom saving throw. Is she going to do that? You're casting a spell on him. And I'm going to attempt to... I'm just going to attempt to counterspell. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Let me...

Do one of these, and let me do one of those. I can't do it that level, so it's a... It's a fourth level counterspell. So I don't know what I actually need to roll for it. It's not that hard to hit the roll. Did I just lose a die? Hold on. Tempest, 151. That's what I said, I had a shot at 151. So I picked up a die and it literally just imploded upon itself. It's gone forever. I heard it. It was right there. Thank you.

Okay, so what do I actually need to roll? You roll an intelligence check. It's 15. So you need to get a 15. With my in? Make a roll plus five. Oh, does it count as a save throw? No, just a roll plus five. It's an ability check. It's just an int ability check. No, I'm good. I'm good. So as long as I don't roll a six or lower. Meter beat? 15 or higher? Meter, yeah. 20, natural 20. Oh, god.

- Fabulous. - So I'm gonna cataspell it. And I'm running very low on spells. - She is trying very hard to bring you to her side. - I'm sweating. - It is Lufty's turn. - I'm profusely sweating. - Lufty? - Lufty? - It's me? - Mm-hmm. - It's you. - Oh, dear. Okay. I'm gonna say, oh, it's so crowded in here. And I'm gonna jam my spoon back under my arm.

and then jam it forward into Rajani. So the first attack will be on number five, which is a battle hit. So it bloops into nothingness. And then the secondary hit will be Rajani. It's a 19 plus nine, so 28 to hit. 28 to hit, okay. That hits. Wait, how many seconds did that do? Sorry.

She hasn't rolled damage yet. Oh, it's not out yet. You killed the golem. Yes, I killed the golem. And just for the sake of things, I will make a secondary hit on our Johnny. Just like, put it all together, which will miss. So that's going to be nine damage. Nine damage. You smash your spoon and knock some scales away.

I got one of those. Okay. With that, she looks around. "Well, I guess this is it. It is death for you. I will survive and get to the future that I have seen." And her wings reach up and smash down with another wing attack. Everyone except, does it actually hit Caprice?

- I assume. - 15 feet? - Yeah, yeah. - Okay, snap, snap. Everyone needs to make a dexterity saving throw for me.

19. I think I'm good. I got a 19. I tied. 18 damage in prone. 16 plus three. 18 bludgeoning in prone. I need a two on this d4. 20. 18 in prone, if not, and then half of that, which is nine. Nine damage if you succeeded. And not prone. Ouch!

- Hey, I was gonna say that. - Fuel me a healing potion. - So nine damage if you succeeded and you're also not prone? - You are not prone. - 18 to edge if you failed and then six and then not prone. - And she flies. - Otherwise, nine if you didn't and not prone. - Once again. - Correct. - Y'all better be tagging them. - Seeing that and lands. - Oh my god. - Is this just flying right here? - Is there a opportunity attack? - She's fly by when she uses that.

Fly by night, the moon. As you are first. She flies by night away from here. Okay, with that, it is Iris' turn. I'm going to try and attempt to hit her with my... Oh, I'm not at disadvantage with my... Correct. Yeah. If you're so blind, you're not at disadvantage, though. So where do you feel it will go? It fails. It will just be on top of it. It was like around here, you should just move it over. Right, we're good.

And then I'm going to cast... I'm gonna cast Mask Cure Wounds at a 4th level. Let's fucking go. Warm. To all of us. You feel the warm sand as it heals your wounds with the blessings of Anubis.

With that... 21. 21? That's good money. That's really good money. She is going to use a... She is going to... What's the range of advantage? No, it's 60 feet. She is going to see Caprice...

And she's gonna look down and she is going to use her last legendary action to cast banishment on you. I can... Nope. Nope, I'm out of reactions. And she says, "You... You are the one... You are the one who turned them all against me. You are a being of chaos." And Sunim, it was a curse of saving throw, please.

Should I try a raw counterspell? It's a fourth level. So if you got three or better, you're in good shape. I will attempt a counterspell. You turned everyone against yourself trying to subjugate our minds with your crazy bullshit! And I need to roll... I'm doing it at third level, so as a... So it should still be 15, right? Three to four, four to five, it's all 15. Yeah. Right? It's all 15, so I need to...

What do you mean it's all 15? It's a DC 14 because it's 10 plus the level of the spell. Oh. And the level of the counter, if you're not hitting the spell level, it doesn't matter what it is. It doesn't matter. Right. Wow, you can use a 1 to try to counter. That's fucked up. Okay, so I need to roll a 9 or higher. Okay.

- Hey! - That's a 17. - There you go. - 17? Okay, you counterspell it as you feel the magic getting ready to whip you away to a dream world. - Ooga chaka, ooga chaka, ooga chaka, ooga chaka, ooga chaka, ooga chaka, ooga chaka, ooga chaka. - And you can tell it's actually working in her unhinged state with that. It is, whose turn was it?

It was Lufty and I. Iris. Now it's Lair action. And so first the golems are going to make their attacks to Grapple. On Toa's advantage, that's going to be a natural 20. 6, 10, 15.

19 points of bludgeoning damage as, uh, are you still massive? Yes. They're unable to grapple you. We got an attack on Felix. That's going to be an 18 to hit. It's a, it's an attack. Yeah. Uh, I cast shield. Okay. So then it goes up to 21. Yeah, no, it, what it's called,

One's gonna walk towards Iris. Oh no, I'm kidding, I don't have my reaction. I don't have my reaction, you get me. Okay, that hits. Okay, smash is into you. I apologize. You are now grappled with 13 points of bludgeoning damage. Okay. And we're gonna make an attack on Iris. So then I gotta roll for concentration. And that is going to be, I'm gonna say 14. Oh, Felix! And I'll be laying on the ground and I'll kind of wave my hand and a spectral boar will pass through and take some of that damage. And with that, damn, um,

So seven. All right, all right, all right, all right. I still got to roll for concentration. And with that, her eyes go wide and they shimmer and glow and they glow with this golden light. And she says, yes, I can see the future. I see the possibilities. Yes. And she is advantaged on all for the next... Oh, yeah, I'm good. For the next... Plus seven. The next round. So she's forced to...

I'm good, I'm good, I'm good. I passed my concentration check. With that, it's Toast's turn. I will... I'm still slowed, correct? Yes. Okay, so I will stand up. So I only have 20 feet. I'll stand up, I only have 10 feet. I feel so tired. I look at Rajani and... Actually, hold on. Let me see if... Let me check something real quick. Now that I'm in the dark. I'm going to say, Rajani...

Don't hit Caprice! And I'm going to take out a Javelin. Oh. And I am going to chuck it at Rajani. Reckless, well, Reckless attack is only for melee, right? No, and it's an attack. Oh no, melee weapon attacks. Okay, so it'll just be normal. 20s games. Four plus...

16? 4 plus 11 is what? 15. I think there's a miss here. You're not inspired anymore. But I have Bless. And I can't hit it. Right. Okay, cool. So yeah, I miss. It clatters off of the side of the... It hits one of the unactivated jade golems. And because I'm slowed, I can only do one attack. Oh my gosh.

And so I will instead... Mark your name. I will say, "Miko, maybe you can help!" And I'm gonna bonus action, my bracelet is going to glow blue, and a watery shark will emerge. Oh, Miko! That's right. And chomp! Miko emerges, the shark made of seawater, you smell the sand in there. What have you got there?

if this were Final Fantasy 7 it'd be a Miko reactor. You know, we should get a shark. We need to get like a bucket of mammals. Or it's a water animal. Or antfish. We'll use this. Sure. The hag is a shark. The hag is a shark.

The cooldown is just a day, right? Yeah. On that? Yep. Okay. You're way good. Dawn, recharge the dawn. Nico Nico Nico! Damn, that thing is mean. Nico is ugly. This is a water shark. Just pretend. Just pretend. It's a little game. Yeah, and so then it's going to show up. And it's magical. And it's magical. And it is going to...

That's not gonna work very well. 13, 2d8 plus four versus... Did you say watermelon fold? Watermelon fold. Okay, yeah, so it's going to slam her with two attacks, actually. Slam her! Oh, one hits. And it's going to be 2d8 plus four. So, 2d8.

I love it. Can you see what it was? I love it. The sound was fucking good. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. I'm going to turn my flash. No, I got nothing. No way. No, it's too murky. Hold on. We got a dice in the whiskey cup. A dice in the cup. It's too murky. It's too murky. No.

- No way! - This overhold is pretty darn. - Now you're toast. - Okay, I'm gonna roll a different d8. - Why is it that everyone's dice is in the top? - I don't know. - Four, that shit is, it made the perfect loop. - No. - It was such a good loop. - Oh shit, sorry.

That is eight points of magical blood. - Okay. - Smashes into it. - That shit is so funny. - I'm not gonna fish it out, it's just gonna be in there. - You'll get it, actually. Just don't take two giant drops. - Okay, with that, once again, Torvald and Herja are working tirelessly, each one transforming more and more with each round that passes as another burst

of energy from both sides of the glaive burst out across the room. I want to make a wisdom saving throw. DC 15. You know the draw at this point. If you fail, roll a d6 for me. I'm way over. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm way over. How do we have... Do we have a...

Yes, we have twists. Okay, I'm gonna twist it. Yeah. Okay. I know I failed. Yeah. How are we failing? Well, if you want to twist it, twist it. We got a few to spare. You need to be alive. I announced everything before this started that I was low on spell pot, so I'm very low. Yeah, let's twist this. Okay. You gotta take a little amount of damage. I need a 13 or higher.

- It's only a natural 20. - Gotta give it a high. - And first, you need to resist the power of these sides of these things. As you see that they are getting closer and closer to rot these, to work these, these different glaives into one single weapon, utilizing that silvery power with them. And with that, it is Caprice's turn, correct? - Oh, shit.

I will turn and instead of singing, I'll stop and I'll hold my bow and my, um, my viol up and I'll just be like, we can stop right now. We can stop all of this. We never really had a chance to talk about it. You showed us a bunch of crazy dreams and we know how passionate you are about this. I suggest you calm down and just...

sit with us to talk. I'm going to pass a suggestion to see if I can get her to stop combat. What is the DC? DC is 17 and it's a wisdom saving throw. Fuck wisdom.

Wait, she's shitty to wisdom this whole time? If she's immune to charm, it doesn't give a fucking damn. I'm gonna be so mad. She's not immune to charm. Really? I'm gonna be so mad if she's shitty to wisdom this whole time. Maybe they're not wise. Shitty to wisdom? I just assumed the dragons were wise as fuck, okay? That's the title of my memoir, shitty to wisdom. DC 17. DC 17. I am shitty to wisdom. I'm going to use Litten Resistance. That's what I wanted. As your... Beautiful. Your words seem to wash over her and then she blinks and she stops for a moment and is blinking.

I will not listen to your lies. I know whom you serve and you should kneel. I am good. You are tainted by evil. You are all tainted by evil and chaos. I am doing good. You think you do? You think that you are doing the work of the heavens? Why do you wage war against me?

And with that... I'll quickly turn to Felix and be like, come on, buddy! And give you the inspiration. I like that. I'm a big fan. That was smooth as butter. I'm a berry hurt. That's classic Capri's. It's vintage. It's vintage.

Felix. I'm almost like not even hearing what Caprice is doing, even though I feel the weave wash over me. And then I'm, how could you? You don't know me. You don't know Milo. You don't know anything. And as a bonus action, I swing in with the fist. It flies at her. That's going to be just a regular old magic attack plus 11. Oh, let's go. That's going to be a 33 to hit.

That hits, yeah. Yeah, Felix is on fucking fire at the moment. Yeah, I mean, I just did my die, but feel free. I don't know what happened to my actual inspiration token. It's somewhere here in this house. An acid arcane hand flies forward. Oh, is it Marsh? I'm on it right now. It is, yeah. I mean, I'm saying, so I can reroll this two. Are you not? It's still a two. So it's going to be 10, 15. 15 plus five is going to be 20 points of force damage.

And then as a bonus action, I'm going to follow up with an ice knife.

Sorry, the moving and the attack was the bonus action. My normal attack's going to be an ice knife. You feel as the hand goes forward, the suppressing magic would have lowered that attack roll by two, but it doesn't matter because you got a 33. And then I'm also going to use a third level ice knife because that's my actual action. How much damage was that? I'm sorry. It was 20. 20 force damage. Nice. So I will roll into it. Her blood is flowing from her wounds. Ooh!

To hit, that's gonna be a 26. With the ice knife. Come on, player. All my pens running out. The problem here is that Caprice is probably getting hit again. You don't know. Bingo bango. There's a blue ink joy in the Batman. It's gonna be with 15. It has to be blue ink joy, please. 22.

I don't think. No. 27 ice damage to... What are these angels? 27 ice damage to Rajani. Roger that. 24 ice damage to Caprice. Oh.

What about my water elemental? I'm unconscious. Oh no! Yeah, to the water elemental as well. The 24, not the 27. And I believe he's resistant. I figured. So is Caprice, that's why I just let it rip. As the ice knife fires and explodes, ice shards burst out, going into Miko and to Caprice. And with that...

But it's a no, yeah, you're no wait. I apologize one second. Give me one second. I apologize one Yeah, so if you guys pass a dex saving throw you don't have to take it. Oh really? Dex 17. You're probably good. No, Miko. You got this

I mean, it's like no damage. You're both resistant. Like, you're fine. These are collateral. It's all part of the plan. You just cut my health in a third. Yay, you're good. We're resistant to cold. Well, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my life. Let's just do the freezing. No, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. Okay. Yeah, so that's my turn. Some of the stat blocks are weird. Cat's not having dark vision. That's my turn.

She is going to move back as she is regained. She's recharged her fire breath as she leans. I'm doing this for the good of Aventress. And a massive burst of golden flame. Dexterity saving throw. I'm going to take that one. She needs to move back. She needs to get to priesthood. If I'm grappled, is it a disadvantage? Oh, I don't know. Let me see. I need to twist. Okay.

Natural 20. No, no. It's not at disadvantage. This is dex, correct? Yes. Well, I'm definitely gonna fail anyway. I failed. What is it again? Dex? Yep. Maybe I'll roll shitting. Are we all doing that? I got a natural. Yeah, we're all in it. Can I twist? You may, but we're very low. Yeah, I got a natural. You're twisting? Wait, dex? Yes.

DC's 15 or 19? 19. Oh, it's 19. I failed. I'm not even going to re-roll. I can definitely pass it. I just rolled a natural 1. You're running fast. I failed. I failed as well. Whatever. This is how combat turns out. Combat. Oh my god. This might be the end. I rolled 4. I rolled 4 1s. You're just listening to fire. He's a fucking devil. 4. Uh...

- I forgot about that. - Ship knows that well. - 24. - Yes. - Knew that one. - 26. - I'm actually resistant to fire, cold, and poison now. - Yep. - 30, 36. - As long as he doesn't say 48, we're fine.

43 points of fire damage. Okay. And it bursts out. So what's half of 43? 21. So we can pass that. It bursts out. I rolled very poorly. I rolled very, very poorly. Did you, Mike? Yeah, I got four ones. I dropped my concentration, believe it or not.

- So the Arcane Hange. - 10 if you pass. - Yep. - This baby's hand, baby's hand. - Okay, with that, it is Lifty's turn. - Gosh, I'm really far away. - I gave it all I got, gang. - Thank you. - I don't have much left. - Me neither.

God, I can just get to her. I like these two fights in a day thing. It makes it challenging. Agreed. Doesn't Wizard of the Coast be like, you need 13 combats a day in order to make this real? Yep.

And we expect, yeah, 30. Unpopular opinion. WotC can sugma. Yikes. What's that? So I'm going to... That was not very nice. And I'm going to dash up to Rajani, swing my spoon, and just...

just in a flurry of blows, as the spellings and the antangos go. The feature is gone. So what you're saying is that the blows are flurried. No, you ran out. It's basically, it resets at the end of each forge phase. But I'm still blinded. Still? If that was from the spell, then yeah. Are you revved up like a douche? I'm...

Blinded by the light. This was not the first time that Lucia would give a first story of blows. Nor would it be the last. Oh, no. What's the... Twine. How many enemies are in the room? So I got one hit. You could not be the first. You snap and she is blocking with her claws. Just let me hit you.

Andy Dufresne was a tall drink of water. But I will spend a ki point to make it a stunning strike. Oh! Roger that. That's 8 plus money right there. It's top shelf. 6 damage, but hopefully a stunner. 6 damage, roger that. Okay. What's the save for... I'm not gonna say until you roll. Kong? 16. Is it Kong?

Is the inciting strike calm? Yeah, I'm sorry. Calm, 16. God damn it. All right. You smack her on the head with that, but she manages to resist the stun, and with that, she's going to... Go to sleep! She is going to swing around with her tail and smash it down on you, Lufty. Oh, guys! That's going to hit. It's going to be a 28. Better you than me! Yeah, you're on your fucking own. Oh my gosh. I'll sleep. Where are my D8s?

You're gonna take... No. 16 points of bludgeoning damage. Smashes into you. Iris, you're up. Iris! I am going to use my bonus action. Bonus action. Oh.

On all of us. It's fucking dope. It's mass healing. What word is that? Legs. The word is legs. For a total of six points. Six points of healing. Six for everyone? Yes. Well, I'm fine now. None of her damages will ever hurt me ever again.

Everything's fine. I'm still dead. I am going to use my... No, it's better than I thought. I'm going to use my action to... Oh, I told the debtor. It's okay. It's wisdom. Wis? Wis? 20. She passes. Nothing happens. She passes as a gong rings out.

And with that... We're getting our horses handed to us. It is... We're fine. We've never been better. I feel like I've felt better. She's going to use a legendary action. I'm about to get my right. Sanded me here. And she is going to look at... Who's coming up? Iris. Come on.

Toa's next. Yeah, I think she's too far away for that, so she is going to look at... She doesn't have to worry about that. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. She's just going to swing down with her tail on Lifty again. How's she doing, Caprice? You made sure to take six healing points, right? And that's going to be two...

14? Is that it? Okay. She swings, slams down. Okay. With that, it is a layer action. Are you wearing a Mr. Clean shirt? No, I'm not. All the golems are going to stop forward when they're going to make their attacks. On 12 on Toa. Yeah!

- On whatcha call it, it's going to be, on Felix, it's going to be a 24. - Excuse me? - A 24 on Felix. - To hit. - To hit. - Yeah, that's gonna hit. - And then it's 12 on Iris, so he dodged out of the way. So can you march him forward towards Iris? - The, oh.

And he's going to smash into you. And gravel you. Wait, wait, wait. I'm already grappled. Oh, he's just crushing you. He's crushing you. Damage? It is... 12 points of bludgeoning damage. I don't know why. As he's crushing your body. Okay, and then she's going to say...

I can still convince you that we do not have to fight. You are right. And she burst out again to send you to the dreamscape. Charisma saving throw, please. For everyone? Yep. Everyone in the room? DC 15. Wisdom. Oh, way higher. Charisma, Charisma, I'm sorry. Way higher. I got like a 22. I'm good. I rolled a 16. 26. You're good. You're good. You're good, brother. You're good. You see Lufty blink out of existence. And... Oh, fuck.

That was my whole fucking plan, Lufty. Why do you have to suck so much? Dude. I'm kidding, but not really. We're in deep fucking shit here. My whole plan was on Lufty staying alive. What do you mean we're in deep fucking shit? I'm not twisted, but like... No, you can't. No, you cannot. Oh, I can't. Guys, we're out. We're out of tours. We're out of tours. We're raw-dogging this D&D right now. No!

This is real D&D, folks. How often do you draw a dog to your music? And you emerge once again in the middle of a raucous, wild party in Kirstein. People are absolutely wasted. Hamer, you are surrounded by no fewer than 12 men that are looking at you lasciviously. And

It is an absolute dream and they all have tendrils on their chin. - I don't even mind. - Just pointing straight up. - Yeah, they're straight up. And actually, as you step in, as you see, you have your pick of humanoids of all varieties.

And it's as the great brother Gruber's there, he raises a stein. It is absolutely perfect. As you are the, it's the festival and you've been crowned the queen of this year, as you have been and always will be. And as you are just feeling like you, you have your pick of all these men. You see a figure walk forward into the turtle. Oh no.

- Oh my god. - Mike, go home, you're drunk. Just kidding, that's me. - What's his name, Mike? - You've never been more attracted to this turtle. - Mike, I literally hate you right now. - And he's very soft with his fingers. - Only three fingers. - His fingers are as thick as this. - Like this?

I told you that in Coffin! Imagine if I had three fingers as thick as the sangria. Just imagine. Let it sink in your brain folds. And as he steps forward, he just says one word. Cowabunga. And then

When D&D and IRL collide. I'm not gonna lie, I personally wish that I was dead. That's a story for "Adventress" and "Chills." If you wanna understand why that happened, stick around after the show. Stick around and sub, I guess. Shit. Anybody shares out a story, I am quitting the group. Yeah, well, we're gonna share it, so goodbye. No, no. We'll wait. We'll respect. I won't. I will not. No, you should. Well, yeah. It's a turtle.

And with that, it is a turtle. We'll give her a couple more white claws and she'll share the story herself. Good old white claws. And with that, Toa, it's your turn. I bite my lip and then we flash back to the scene. So hold on. So I come to and I'm not slowed anymore. I'm totally normal. I'm still raged. So let me just make sure. So hold on. I just want to count to make sure that I have... So 5, 10, 15, 20...

You dash. 25 and a... As long as you don't need your bonus action, you can dash. Oh, I can get there easy. Oh, you're good. Yeah, because barbarians are fast as fuck. Yeah, so I move from there to here, and I am finally within range, and I'll say, The spirit of Maka flows through me!

We'll show you that your path is not the right one! And I'm going to attack twice. Stop resisting. Do we know her AC? 20. It'll be reckless. Is it worth doing power attacks? That's right. That is dicey, my friend. Should we do some calculations? What's your boss? It is a plus...

No, it's not. This is wrong. So it's plus 11 minus 5. No, no, I'm asking what your plus is. Fuck the minus. It's 11, right? So normally it's 11, but a power attack literally becomes a plus 6. No, it's not worth it. It's not worth it. I can tell you that it's not worth it. It's not worth it. It's not worth it. Okay, so I am going to... Not worth. It's not worth, I agree. So I'm going to make... Boom! Make a 1. That's 1 attack. Yeah.

That hits. Then another attack. Oh no. Six, seven, eight, nine. That does hit, it's a 20. Okay, that's two. Let me check to see if in either of those attacks, proc win theory. That is a 30. 76? What does proc mean? Proc? Proc means to trigger an effect. It's short for procedural?

But it's a turn from our RPGs. So, if you know World of Warcraft, if you've ever been being attacked in Warsong Gulch in 2004 by a fucking troll shaman motherfucker, and he's attacking you with a big two-handed weapon for some reason, and all of a sudden it's and you die instantly, that's what happens right now. Procedural. Procedural. And it's a programming thing. I didn't know that. Yeah.

- And that is another hit. So that is three hits.

- So one, two, three, one. - Her two is personally offended by your bringing it up. - Oh my God. You know, if you were an alliance back in vanilla, nothing worse. They'd frost shock you and then you're moving like you're basically frozen. - Oh, let it ride. - Okay, let's let her rip here. - Not bad, not bad at all. - Nine, 10, 20.

30, 35, plus 30 is 65 points of magical bludgeoning damage.

So half goes magic. And then a quarter goes magic. As you smash in over and over and over again, you're chipping away, and now the cracks and the wounds all over her scale, she's bleeding. She is taking, she's looking rough as you're smashing into her over and over again.

I'll say, I will say, so that was my action. Let me just look at my notes here. I'll say, "Miko, get over there!" And I'll see Miko, and since he took part of that ice knight, he's actually partially frozen. And so he's slower now. And so his speed is now 10 feet. So he goes,

And that's all he can do. He's all right. He's all right. No, I think he's just shy, right? No, no, no. She's back there. No, there's no one. She backed up to smoke us. Oh, all right. And then for my bonus action. Frozen shark. I don't think I have anything else to do. So that's my turn.

Okay. Capricinating feelings. Capricinating feelings. So once again, Torvald and Herja are working away tirelessly. They're changing more and more and sending another burst of the forge. No, no, no. Wisdom saving throw, please.

Oh, no. Close, but no. Mega pass. I got 21 base and then you said what, charisma or wisdom? Wisdom. 27. Way over. 15. Oh, yeah. Way over. 21.

I didn't do it. 14. Oh, wait, do I have to do it? I'm not even there. No, you're not there, no. 15 exactly. So Caprice is the only one that rolls a d6 for me, please. A d6? And you're on the chaos side. That's where I'm a Viking. Oh, no. I'll take a six, please. Oh. A six. No. As you...

As it bursts out, you feel the power of Baphomet. Although his avatar is slain, his weapon is still there, and the pure chaotic energy. You're breathing. You are completely overwhelmed with the power to hunt and to kill and to feast on blood, and you overwhelm yourself, and you are stunned. Is that a penis gate? Yeah. Oh my god. You are stunned. What the fuck?

Kels, we're playing D&D. I know. This is a family fucking live on Twitch. What the fuck, man? With that, it's Caprice's turn. I'm sleeping on this table right now. You're stunned, so you can't do anything. You are, uh...

stunned and paralyzed and you come to again. So I am still restrained by these, I'm grappled by these jade golems. I focus on my knife and I look to Toa and I say, Toa, please end it, save us! As the jade golem tightens and cracks what you hear are ribs and blood begins to drip from my mouth and I cast haste on Toa.

Roger that. That's a classic. Classic. Classic combo. Classic beanie-deanie-weenie move. And that's my whole turn. But I am, I am, there is, there is a visible amount of blood dripping from my mouth and you hear, you hear, you hear cracking. My, I'm in deep shit.

I will, Felix! Just hang in there! That's my whole turn. I scream. As she sees Caprice getting stunned and blasted by the power of Baphomet, it's like, see, I knew you. I knew you were of them. And she leans as he radiates, I am the fury of the celestial planes. I do the will of the gods!

Fear me! As her voice booms out, she's a frightening presence. Everyone please make a wisdom saving throw for me and seek your fear. - I don't trust these dogs anymore. - 19. - Woo! That's exactly what I rolled.

Plus seven. Natural one. Can you confirm what I roll here? Yikes. I fail miserably. You are frightened. You said it's whiz? Whiz. 19, yep. And she is then going to use her full power

She's going to your friend. That's a tie for me. Me or me? Then I'm good. She leans down, Caprice, and smashes into you with her jaws. Do I do an attack? Attack, yeah. Let me check. You're on that. Let me check. Okay. That is going to be a... Let me check. It's going to be like a 25 to hit.

Oh, 29, sorry. Okay, that hits. So... Okay, it's gonna tear into you. No, you don't get any bonus to... Yikes. 15 points of piercing damage. And she tears into you. And you see a dex saving, that's it. He's...

She's going to then bring her claw down into you. I am... She's disadvantaged. Oh, she is? All of her melee attacks are disadvantaged. Okay, I'm going to keep that first roll. Oh, really? Hold on. I'm taking a... It's the same roll. It's the same roll. Okay, fine. She tears into you, bites, and you're down. I am now unconscious. I am taking my first steps across the rainbow. But Ray, a...

- Isn't that just her dog? - A spectral tuna will jump out of the water and try to take some of that damage. - Why can't I go? - We're trying to absorb some of your damage. - Would you say a spectral tuna? - 12 points, it reduces the damage by 12. - Something sporty like a tuna. - Like a tuna. - Milo, you got anything sporty like a tuna?

If it's only minus three, then I'm still conscious. I'm still conscious. So I'm back up. - Cabristo! - Thanks to our fuck, what the fuck! - And her claw is falling right after and she swipes into you. - Is he managed? - Yep. - 17. - I will say, is that Baphomet?

And I'll use Cutting Words, negative 1d10 from her attack, which necessarily means it misses, because my D-I-A-C is 17. So that's a turn that's just, where? And it just totally whips. And she's like, where? You own this trick in the book. We will not be fooled again. And she swings her claw around at you. Please, it's got to be like a one, two, or three misses, mate. Do I come back?

- No, she's coming back around. - On your turn. - That's gonna be a 25 to hit. - Yeah, that one hits. - So you missed your turn. - It's better though, it's Death Saves. - You will, you will. - Let me come back. - Let me come back. - You can blame it all on me. - Oh, 13 points of damage. - 15 points of damage. - 15 points of damage. - 13. - Okay, and let's do this again. - Whoop!

- Jesus. - With that, Lufty's turn. Lufty, you are once again, you are partying in whatever you want to do. It is the best night of your life. - Describe it. - You can describe what the best night of your life is if you'd like to. - No, I'm just, I'm in a challenge. - And Iris, you're up.

I'm going to turn and look at all of my friends, and I am going to use five charges of my staff. You know what? And I'm going to cast Mass Cure Wounds on all of my friends. Let's fucking go. Capri, since you're down, you will take max healing. Oh, really? Thank you, Grave Clare. Let's go! Wow.

- Wow. - So you're gonna take-- - Mike, let us play these characters. - 3d8 plus five. I mean, it's something. - I think that our party, like in full force with Herja, is like the most OP party that you could possibly do. - I have a million counterspell, but that's the only thing I do. - Everyone else takes 23, except for Lifty. - Oh my God. - No, that's literally life saving. - I'm basically max health. I shouldn't have said that, but Mike, I'm basically max health. - I'm not. - Have you ever been kicked in the nuts by a dragon?

- Ooh! - 'Cause you're about to get kicked in the nuts. - And because that was my staff, my action, I'm gonna use my bonus action to cast Mass Healing Word and do more. - Oh my god!

- I miss all the good stuff. And that is 1d4. - Oh, you miss all of it! - I'm sorry. Oh, it's Matt! - Not fair! - So that's nine more points of healing. - Let's fucking go! - I'll take every fucking point.

That was max healer. Every fucking point. So, Mike, I'm not max health, but I am one less than max. No way! Don't even tell him that. He's an inch away from death, is what he's trying to say. And that's my turn. What was the plus for the second? The plus for the second was nine, because it was max. I accept. As she looks at that, she's doing two legendary actions. Two...

As the power... We all radiate with goldy sand as their wounds begin to glow. Blast after blast, it's almost as if Iris is like, "Oh, this is the burn phase, we need to call the call out." I want to turn to her and I want to look her directly in the eye. He has not called them to him yet. And that's all I'm going to say. She's a resto druid, so she's in tree form. She's doing this? No, tranquility! Tranquility! Or is it this?

- And basically you cast Trank and instead of rain it's sand. - Iris cast, can you cast Trank on this next one? - What was the spell that we had to cast on the Sun King?

Was it PI? No. Power infusion. No, no, no, you PI your healer, but the healer has to do like wild... Oh, guardian angel. Guardian angel. And it was like, we have to GA the fight. Good times. I really like the Warcraft. She sees just the power returning, the strength, the vitality, everything that she's done almost entirely undone. And she looks and says, no...

I... my plans will not be undone. I am doing this for your god, for all gods.

Feel the power of the gods! And she breathes in and a beam of sunlight, or a bead of sunlight appears in the back of her throat. - I disagree. - It was a flash and suddenly, as a beam of pure radiating sunlight bursts out hitting everyone. Yeah, everybody. Wow, you guys are all lined up. Exactly right. As you burst out, everyone needs to-- - Good job, everyone. - So he greases up, but he's gonna go back down. - What about Sharky Boy?

Yeah, he's out of it. It's a line. What is the saving throw? It's not a cone, it's a line. So even Iris gets a... TC 19. Shouldn't that be like... It's like a meaty line. A meaty line. Have you ever seen Dragon Ball Z where Piccolo uses Spirit Beam? No. It's like a decent beam. And you said the saving throw is what? 19. I think all these boomer references... Who's the best Dragon Ball Z character? Krillin. Big.

Because he's the only human who's not like part of some ancient alien race who keeps up with them until nearly the very end. Destructo Disco is the best spell. He died a thousand times. Sorry, what kind of spell is that? Con. It's 19. It's pure sunlight. So everyone who fails is blinded and taking this damage. Once again, you're blind again. But blind shouldn't matter. I just rolled my constitution saving throw.

I passed, actually. 23. Uh, 31. Will those that fail be revved up like a douche? 31. I wish you'd stop saying that.

35 points of radiant damage. And blinded. And you're fine. I'm blinded again? Is it half? It passes half and not blinded. That I'm living out my dreams. I was not done consciously. I wake up momentarily. I immediately get hit by a beam. Wait, so you said it's 35. What is 35 and half? 17. I pass my constitution. There is plus 7.

- No, just the smell of it. - Yeah, no, you're good. - I'm way good. Well, minus my health pool, but yes. - Your concentration's good. - My concentration is good.

So Tua's not out for a turn because he's exhausted. Correct. With that-- I didn't think about that. With that, it is-- wait, you're actually-- Lufty, you poof back into reality. I poop back into reality? You poop back into reality after having a wild night. After having a wild night. So please, please, please-- I wish I was dead. --Lufty back. Poop? And with that, the golems are going to act.

And that's going to be mana. They cannot hit Iris for shit. - Are you kidding me? - So the wand is going to crush you. Fee, let's attempt to crush you at the very least. 24 to hit. - It hits. - Smash cracks you. - Smash, crackle, and pop. - Are you concentrating on something? - Yep. - I'm concentrating on something. - Yeah, I know, I know, I know. There was no point in me casting shield. - Oh wow. - It is such a good roll.

Eight points of bludgeoning damage. I'm unconscious. As it cracks and smashes you. What does that mean for me?

I'm on guard. And the other one is going to walk forward to you. Correct. I fucked up. I took a calculated risk, but it turns out I'm not good at math. So you took a risk. The other one is going to walk up to Felix. That needs to be a quote. Yeah, a quote. No, I'm coming back. Oh my god. And is going to attempt to smash into him.

Yep, I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. That is going to... If it hits, it crits. Shield is still in effect, technically. No, I did not cast shield. Oh, you didn't cast shield. No, because it wasn't worth me hitting. It was going to hit either way. I wouldn't have done it. That is going to be a... Oh, my God. This is bad, guys. Yeah, we're going to die. 10 to hit.

- No. - No, I have a 16. - It smashes. - Do you lose mage armor when you die? - It's not a concentration. - No. - No, you do not. - Then no, then it misses. - It misses, it smashes into you. - Okay.

And

And don't forget to snag all the extra goodies like dice, miniatures, plushies, a tarot deck, and more. Thank you.

As Felix is unconscious in the arms of these golems. Felix, no! And he's like, I see the future. I see the future. I see my future. The future of Avengers, the greater good. And with that, we are going to, she has future sight, so she has advantage on all roles. We're going to die here.

So I'm sorry, you lose a turn. Shutters, oh it's my turn? Yeah, you're exhausted. I'm literally just bent over, "Oh Felix, no!" No, I fucked up, I fucked up. Someone help him, please! It's your turn. "Oh Felix!" That's my turn. It should be Lufty's turn. No, Lufty's turn went, it was my turn, that was the lair action. Oh, I forgot that Toa's turn. Yeah, sorry. Okay. That's where we're at. Once again, the forge bursts out.

And wisdom saving throw. Felix automatically fails. Sweet. Wait, wait, wait. Like as a death failure? No, no, no. You fail the saving throw. So whatever is going to happen. Actually, no. It is on your mind, so you don't have to worry about this. Okay. God damn it!

Wait. No, you automatically fail. My question is, does that equate to a failure? No, no, no. It's just damage. It's only damage, yes. It's all nasty. I mean, there's no reason for me to roll. What's the... It just doesn't do anything to your save. Oh, wisdom. I don't think I can pass that.

Whoever fails, roll a d6 for me. Just tell me what it is. And what side you're on. I'm on the chaos side, and I rolled a 6. I have failed on chaos side. Everybody's on chaos side. I'm sorry, what was the roll? Felix is on the law side. I need to get a 15. I got a 4. What variety? You need to roll a 6 as well. I failed. Oh. No, no, no. You said it was on my bottom. It doesn't matter, right? Because I'm unconscious. So who fails? Everybody except for me.

Oh wow. Okay. So you're exhausted and suddenly it bursts out and you feel, but you're exhausted and suddenly you get energy back and you're overwhelmed with the power to feed and you overload yourself and you are stunned. Until the end of your next turn. What do you give? D6. D6. I will roll a five for you. Five. You know, you lost your turn anyway, right?

- I lose my next turn. - You are so bloodthirsty. You are just being absolutely reckless with how much you want to destroy and kill. - It's fine, it's the name of- - Attacks against you are advantage. - Oh no! - Wait, wait, wait, wait. - Sorry, sorry. - Attacks against him are advantage. - What did you roll though? - D6. - I rolled a five. - A D6? - You got a five. And so what was the effect on it though? - Attacks are advantage against me. - Four? - Does that have a name? - No.

I don't think, I think it changes based on the level, so I don't think. And their goals are twice as enough to the number of effects. Wolfie, you are compelled to kill to hunt. You need to use your reaction to do a full attack action on the weakest ally near you.

- Oh, thank God it's not me. Thank God it's not me. - Like now? - Now, right now. - He's reacting. - He's gotta be Caprice, right? - Is Caprice unconscious? - I am very near death. I am blind. - No, he's up. - I am blind and I am hungry for violence. - How many hit points do you have? - He's up, he's up. The point is that you're not dying. - No, no, he's down. - He's prone. - He's prone. - But you're not unconscious. - How many hit points do you have? - I have three hit points. I have three hit points. I am blind and I hunger for blood. - And Lufty's advantage and makes two attacks.

With a reaction I can make to my attacks? The way that this works is that you are so overwhelmed with bloodlust, you are the consummate hunter. You are going for the weakest of the pack. Am I advantaged on both attacks? Yes, because of the power. You're advantaged on both attacks. I am about to get my doms dumped.

I mean, you paid good money for that shit. - City boy. - That was the evilest laugh I've ever heard. - 19, so that'll hit. - That'll hit. - So you need to roll damage because the next hit is going to auto-crit and take away two of his saves. - I hate to do this, but my manacles, it's my first attack on you. - Yeah.

- Good. - So? - He just automatically, like, he has three hit points, so whatever you roll doesn't matter, it's gonna- - I mean, it rolls for over, it matters for overkill. - Oh, I mean, that would be insane. - Because her next attack's a crit. - Okay, I'm unconscious. - Yeah, so you don't need to math it out, 'cause he's unconscious, it's not gonna overkill him. - Okay. - You are, you're overcome with the instincts of a hunter as you smash your spoon, cracking it in half. - That's not good. - Do you know what I was taken from? - Cowabunga!

And then for your next hit, he just takes two failed saves. Well, no, you still need to roll a hit. Because you get missed. Does that, would I go towards someone who is clearly unconscious? You're here to kill. Yep, you are here to kill. So you need to attack Caprice again. Oh my god. Only because I wasn't in the vicinity. Thank god it's not me. 16?

Miss. What? In my fury. No, no, no. A one and a four. What's... Wait. No, a seven and a four. It's 16. Oh, it's a seven? Bullshit. A 16.

- You have plus nine? - I have a DC 17. - Plus nine to hit. - Wow. - My AC is 17. - Holy shit. - So I will just be cackling maniacally. - Shut the fuck up. - And hit right next to his head. - He'll hit the viola and it shatters. - No! - He'll hit the viola and the rocks. - I am the luckiest fucker on the planet. - I've used all my legendary actions, haven't I? - You turn one? - I did. - We trust you, man. - Okay, Caprice, you roll the saving throw for me, please. - Yep.

- It's bleeding out. - Okay, roll the seven for a full man. - Wow, if she had hit you, you would be dead right now. - Yeah. - Because she was gone for a few years and then you would have just failed. - Dead dead. - You would have been dead dead. - Oh my God. - We don't know that. - I fail my seven. - None of us know that. - No, none of us know that, but I'm telling Meta. - Just to confirm, I fail. - Oh, you're dead too? - Not yet, I am.

Bleeding out. Who'd you roll for your six? All of my ribs are cracked. No, there wasn't a six. Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you killed it. I thought we were still going down. Big bad, yeah. So, with that... I feel so bad for Tala. I fucked up. I...

You cannot stop me. The future I've seen from the Six-Eyed Hawk and my future sight, it is coming true and I will make it true. And she slams her claw down on you, Caprice. She would do that. All of my jingles reverberate. 24 to hit. Yeah, well. She tears into Caprice's flesh. You did. Rending hands, flesh. He spits out blood. Caprice is torn apart. No, I'm angry.

Caprice is dead dead. Wait, you're literally like shredded shit. Yes. He's dead dead. I don't know where my pen just went. That's really weird. Yeah, I guess I'll just do that. I'm dead dead. You're dead dead. You're dead dead. Caprice is dead. I guess I would be laughing at him. As you are, as she's going to then swing and swipe and slash you, Lufty.

Oh, god. 18 to hit. Misses. Misses? 18? She is. Okay. Swipes at you, and you're stunned, right? I'm stunned, yeah. And then also exhausted, and also stunned, and also exhausted, and also stunned, and also exhausted. Uh,

It's gonna swipe at you. Is that a creative fear stone? Yes. No. Parallel. Unconscious, whatever. Anyway, that is the bite. She's leaning forward with her bite. I'm still enraged because I took damage, thank God. She is going to use her bite on you to tear into your flesh.

This is not good, people. Ooh, 19. Oh, 22. I don't care. Oh, weird. That was weird. 28 points of piercing damage.

- As it tears into your flesh. - As long as Toa survives, everything's fine. - And with that, it is... - Lifty's turn. - Lifty's turn. - Is it? - You are now, you are all free of your effects now. At the start of your turn.

Caprice? No! Do I remember what I did? Caprice! Like, do I have a memory of doing that? Yes, you remember what you did and you snapped. No! I'm so sorry! Is it... Oh, gosh. Kill the little tequila! Ah!

And I'm just gonna like, like blindly like swing just manically at Rajani. - Roger that. - And I will spend a ki point to make, so it'll be a total of four attacks on her. - Okay. - I hate all my dice, so this is probably gonna be bad.

Oh, actually. 18, 19, 18 plus 9, so 3 should hit. Okay. 15, 16, 17, 18, 17 plus 15, what is that?

32 damage. - 32 damage. As you smash your spoon and it's cracking, the thick draconic blood is pouring from Rajani as she's looking rough. - And I would cycle, I would just move around as much as I can towards here, towards the wall. - Okay. - Oh, Caprice, wake up, I'm so sorry.

And she is going to say, he will just be the first. And it is all sacrifice. A noble sacrifice for the greater good. She's going to make an attack on you advantage because she has future sight. That's a natural 20. It is not. Hold on. Hold on.

Out of range. I'm out of range. You're barely, barely, barely out of range. I think I'm in range to her, not to him. I'm not, I'm not her, Jeff. Oh, wait, do you stop it on the person or the enemy? On the enemy. On the enemy. Oh, then you're good. JK said you're good. It cancels, it's not. It tromps into your mouth. 19 points of piercing damage. I'm sorry, Caprice. Hold on, hold on, hold on.

We're gonna reduce that as a, uh, let's say some kind of, like, lemur. A spectral lemur is one of my ancestors in the form of this lemur, kind of this light blue shimmering lemur reduces the damage by seven. It's not a story you're doing, but... I'm gonna...

I'll have a little like, no, I can't. I have to be able to see and I'm blinded. Oh, take it back. You're critted. Rewind. Hold on, so I'm gonna damage seven. What did you heal me? I didn't heal you for anything. Or what did you reduce to five? No, no, no. You don't affect that. You're gonna take more damage. You're fine. So I'm gonna explain it to her. Let's stop talking over each other. I negated a crit.

I can't do that because I'm blinded. So Mikey is gonna do more damage to you. Toa took away some of the damage. - He took away seven damage. - Which is still true. - And that is stat. So you're just gonna take more damage. - So our currency is fine. - We're good. - Just add whatever Mike tells you to add. - I'm gonna heal back to that seven. - Okay. - Yes. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I would negate at seven. - And now it's minus 10. - Again. - Another 10. - So you only take an extra three.

- Oh, shut the fuck up. - I'm gonna cough up blood on my jumper and just kind of loosely fall over. - When do the golems move? - Later action. - Oh, well, unfortunate. - As she chomps in and you see the glorious, the realization that Rajani is close to her aim, as you see Torvald and, Torvald and

Persia are working tirelessly and they very almost nearly fused both of the glaives together. They are very near to completing creating this mega weapon. Okay, Iris, you're up. I'm gonna look around between all of my friends. You can see tears streaming down my face. As I look to Lufti, I'm so sorry. And I'm going to use my...

movement to... Fuck. Because I'm right next to that guy. Yes, I understand. No, actually, fuck that. I'm going to do... You can't seem to hit the enemy. I'm going to cast Mass Healing Mode. And because both of you are... I am going to have to move...

Are you low enough for like moving away? Yes. What's the range? I'm going to use, I can't because it's a bonus. What's the range? Time out.

Just give me a second. Don't move her. Don't move her. Every single thing matters, so it'll give you the time that you need. Take your time. Take your moment. Oh, we're good. It's 60 feet for Mass Healing Word. So I am going to Mass Healing Word at a fourth level, and so the two of you that are unconscious are going to take Max Healing, and so that will be 2d4 plus 5. For Mass Healing.

Are you dead? So that's eight plus five. I mean... You're gonna take 13 for the two of you that survived. I'm alive. But I mean, I'm still in the arms of this golem. I'm not prone or anything. I'm just in the arms of this golem. In the arms of the golem. Nice. And the rest of us are gonna take...

You mean me and you? 15. Me and you, yes. 15. So what was the max? 13. 13. Wait, no. The 13. Oh, you're dead. No, he's dead. No, you take max, so... 13. Oh, why did I roll d8? They were d4. Sorry, we don't have that. Oh, I was going to say, no, no, no, that's too high. So it is... 8. You know, better than nothing. Wait, so the total is 22? 22.

No, you take 8 plus 5. Oh, 13. That's what I said. Okay. I had to roll for me until I was... No, you're good. It's 44, so 16 is the max for... No, you take 13. 13. 13. Caprice is dead dead. And then with my action, I am going to...

Sorry. I'm Clara. No, no, no. Take your time. No, it's fine. It's fine. Can you think when your friends are dying around you? Can you handle the stress? I can't. I'm about to poop my pants. Can I just get in here real quick? Yeah. I am going to... Yeah, there's not really much I can do. As long as Toa still draws breath, we're...

I'm going to... How do you draw a breath really? Like a little loopy? Like a line and a loopy at the end? With a little cloud thing? Yeah. It's the fruit sign. Okay. I'm going to call out... Toa, you're able to attack this upcoming round, yeah? Oh yeah.

Oh yeah. Oh yeah there, eh? Chicken fricassee there, eh? Could, for my, like, we have an object interaction, could I throw a potion to Toa? Or pass it to him? He's literally right next to me. He's right next to me. I can hand it to him. Is that, uh, yeah. I'm going to hand this, I'm going to hand the potion to you. Okay. If I fall. You need to use your reaction though for that. Take it.

Do I have my reaction? Just take it. Did you use it? Put it on the ground. I'll put it on the ground. If I fall, I want you to take this. How are you lucky? I look pristine, basically. I'm healthy as fuck. Everyone around me is. So I was unconscious. You brought me back and there's dried blood all over my mouth and my chest. Okay.

And then I'm going to use my, the last part of my staff, and I'm going to cast Cure Wounds on... Am I? It's touch, isn't it? It's touch. You get a lofty, oh, I mean... It's not worth it. It's not worth it. Screw it, I'm just tolling the deck. What do you mean? I'm tolling the deck. It's a wisdom saving throw.

I'm using the last of my legendary resistances. Hot damn. As it gongs again, and she's looking very rough. And she's... No! So now you have a potion, I have a potion. I'll use my free object interaction. Not even your card!

Not even the power of a god can stop the future that I have seen. I am a being of good, a being of law, a being of order, a being of pure fire. And suddenly she breathes up into the air. She casts, her legendary actions to cast Firestorm.

As it bursts up into the air and starts crashing down in a storm of fire, everyone but Felix needs to make a dexterity saving throw. Can I even... Hold on. Give me one second. No. If you automatically fail or if you just disadvantage? No, I mean, I'm still grappled. If you have a reaction and you have a third level... I don't. I don't. I don't.

If we're prone... Disavantage. I'm gonna spend two ki points to use my Drunkard's Luck. Okay. And negate the disadvantage. I'm gonna roll the damage real quick. Can you do that on your turn? Or as reaction?

When you make an ability check an attack roll or a saving throw and have disadvantage. Love it. So I'm just not in it? Do I even want to do that? You're out of range. Wow. He's like the meatballs from Sea of Thieves. Bloody meteor swarm, bud. Yeah, same idea. Could I use our twist? Yes, absolutely. Thank you. Who gave the twist? Winnie. Natural 20! Winnie! Winnie!

- We made that TPD! - 14, 14, 17, 20, 21. - Awesome. I got a 26 on the save, thank God. - 31. - Oh my gosh. - 31, 36 points of fire damage. - Don't cry, don't cry. - 36. - Half of that? - Half of that is-- - We take half of it, right? - 14, 18. - 36, 18, 18. - And I'm gonna just, then to take nine. - As the fire rains down,

Shut up. Is anyone down? Hold on, I'm a little fucked up here. Did you succeed? I healed back. You're prone, so you're just, oh, but you removed the disadvantage. Yes, I need to know what I healed to. You healed 13 points from me. You healed 13 points. So, yeah, you take more than 13. So you're out again. So all you had was 13, so you were unconsciously out. Yeah. And it was 16 points.

18, 18, because I have 19 and I'm down with that. It's all for legendary actions and a 7th level spell. Okay. As Lufty is charred and falls to the ground. Layer action. The golems are going to go first. So, yeah, I'm fucked. I'm in deep shit here. As they are going to attack, and this is you, this regular attack.

That's going to be a 22. Here. Hit me? Yeah, it's... Your conscious smashes into you. And you have your reaction. Well, yeah, 22's more than my shield would hit. Even with Mage Armor and shield? Fuck. And with that, that's nine plus...

- Sorry. - This ain't good, fam. - 14 points of bludgeoning damage. - We've been in better shape. - I'm unconscious again. - He smashes into you and then the one that is gripping him is going to try to break your spine. - Rich, could you-- - Can you topple him? He's unconscious.

We're going to back up here to the battle camp. That's going to hit. And smash into his two failures. And he cracks. You hear a sickening crack as Felix is being surrounded by these Jane Olums. Oh, Felix! There's a lot of blood gushing from my mouth and porpoises. Yeah, it's my turn. And with that, she is... She is going to...

No. This is what's gonna happen. As she... As she looks and there's only... She's going to look out. I love this. And is going to call out, more, more of my servants come to me! As three more golems jump down and two are going to go over to Luffy.

Wow. As one... Oh, one needs to attack Iris. Oh, the one that's up needs to, right? And then the other one is... The other one's going to go to her feelings. I fucking knew it. You've got to be kidding me. Does a nine hit? To me? No, I have 16 AC. As it smashes in, it just knocks off the side of the other golem.

and these two are going to make attacks on you, Lefty. The highest is a nine, and it smashes in, and it's gonna get one more, one more advantage. I got two twos.

And they're both going to mess as they're trying to scoop you up and crush you. And you're definitely done rolling? Yes. Fuck you. Wow, okay, all right, all right. I don't want to die. Okay, okay. I don't want to die. With that, it is... Agreed. I still don't want to jinx the rolling. So is her. Gird of the Iron. What do we do? Felix, no! No!

"These answers now! Miko, please!" And first the shark will, I think he's enough movement to jump and then swim back. - Yeah, oh fuck, yeah. - He's gonna jump and chomp twice as he's swimming in the air against her. And let's just make the old double attack, multi-attack, two slams. - Everybody let's resonate, pot and Miko energy.

Two nines plus seven. Oh, he misses. He misses. I'm large. Caprice. I'm large. And I look and I see that Iris and I are the only ones that are conscious, right? And I'm barely holding on. And I see her and I say, Marker, the first ancestor, please.

Please, if there's anything that you've ever done for me, please end this now! I'm going to end you! And I'm going to just attack twice and see what happens. Uh, not power attacked. So these two go together, these two go together. And I'm advantage, so that goes with the green. Uh, this, I need the d4 that matches the color of one of these. Okay. Huh. Fuck. Uh...

You really need the dice tray. You're too messy to not have a dice tray. Ten. And then d4. They all hit. Or both hit. Let's check for Windfury procs. That's a proc. I think we're going near, ladies and gentlemen and everybody. That is three hits. One, two, three, four, five, six. I am large, so I add three more d4s to that.

Take the dice tray. Just use the dice tray. Please just use the dice tray. Come on. Big rolls. Big rolls. This is why you have to use the dice tray. Even if it was a four, though. Big money. Big money. I think we're all right. Four, eight. That's good money. Twelve. I think we're golden. Sixteen. I think we're golden. Twenty. Twenty-five. Twenty-five.

28, 29, 30, um, plus... A thousand? 30 is 60 points of bludgeoning damage. Oh, shit. 60? 60. How do you wanna do this? Yes! I just wanna say, she was at 390 health. She has 450.

- Is that exactly? - That is exactly 60. - That's crazy. To the number, meet it or beat it, motherfuckers. - Meet it or beat it. - So as I called that out to the spirit of Maka, which is the name of my totem, my maul,

There's sort of a stylized face that's carved into the face of my totem that represents the first ancestor, the founder of the Makani Islands that brought the Goliaths from Jakar to settle on the Makani Islands on these sailing ships. The eyes and the mouth will glow for the first time that Toa's ever seen. And as I come in,

She'll be sort of distracted by Miku that's sort of this water shark that's trying to attack her. She... I basically... Her head will kind of spin around as she dodges, and I want to just smack her twice. One up, one across, and then one down. Just cave her fucking skull in. As I just... Right on the top of her head. Let's go. The final attack. Um...

And that's how I do it. And feel free to, you know, embellish. She, as you, you're a massive creature. You are, despite, despite her, despite your massive size, she's still looming over you. But as Miko jumps up and she dodges out of the way and roars at it,

You catch her on the side of her face. It smacks her as her eyes roll back, as there's some horrible realization as you're looming over the fury, the rage that you have now. As your tattoos glow, your eyes glow, you are channeling the full power of the wind spirits of the Makani Islands. As you are smacking around and then smack her again, as she leans forward and she says, "My future I saw,

Could it have been wrong? And then as you stand over her, her serpentine hand lowers down and then she says,

What have I done? And you split her skull. Like a goddamn overripe watermelon. She lets out a guttural roar as her skull splits. Blood pours down her face and as the Gorgon energy in her eyes goes out, she slams and crashes and

collide, smashing through, plummeting into the water with a splash. And you see as she sinks down below, the tendrils, the energy tendrils going to the dome.

Now disconnect, and as the dome loses that connection, it starts to gyrate, and as Herja and Torvald are all about to finish, you see that there's only some finishing touches to finish this weapon. The gyrating energy you all hear very briefly as the room goes silent.

the soft coot of an owl, as it bursts and erupts, and you see in an instant as it all washes over you, you feel the power that erupts out of it, and it's almost blinding those of you that are conscious. Yeah. As... Not me, man. As your eyes return, the swirling dome of dawn-like energy is gone. The...

and you see fragments of metal around as heart cleavers scatter off to one side of the room, and you see bits of metal surrounding just the Rod of Law, no glaive, and on either side of them, you see Torvald Anvilheart, completely motionless as a jade statue, and Herja.

is unconscious, completely covered in fur, long, dark horns coming around her face, restlessly unconscious, completely consumed by Beast Plague. Holy shit. And we're gonna take a quick break there. Holy shit! Yeah, dinner break. Holy shit.

Oh my god! As you see the water below you, Toa, finally finish rippling as Rajani sinks beneath the water. You see that all of the jade golems have been rendered inert. Felix unconscious on the ground, Lufty unconscious, Iris barely hanging on, Caprice's corpse shredded by the claws of the golden dragon.

is just at your feet. What do you guys do? Caprice, no. Can you help him?

go to Felix. And I just, without a word... Don't forget that you have that potion. Yes, exactly right. So I would snatch the potion off the ground, and I would sprint over, let me just take off this, these are still technically stationary statues, right? You can get rid of them, yeah. But the idea is I would sprint over here to Felix, and immediately I'll kind of pick him up, and try to feed him the hell potion, like just throw it up and down. And

And then I'm going to run to Lufty, and I'm going to put my hand on her and give her a 4th level Cure Wounds. So that's 48 plus 5, and it's max, because you're unconscious. So just figure out what that is. So in that time, do they need to make another death save or anything? I think Felix does. I don't know. It's up to Mike.

I think it's fine. That's fine. You guys didn't have any death saves, so even if your crit failed, it wouldn't have killed you. It's 4d8, so 4 times 8, plus 5. If you'd have, like, 2, then I would have said yes. 32, 37. And I am not going to stay with Lufty. I'm not going to stay with Lufty at all. I'm going to run your hand off of me and immediately run over to the police. I don't know how long you'd let me do that. Felix, are you okay? Felix!

She's dead. She's dead, it's over. I don't think I'm all right. It's no good, just rest. I need to help, I need to help Iris. I'm gonna run over to Iris and just sort of just stand behind her. You're sitting on the ground, Felix. What happened? Yeah, both of you are just coming in your senses, just seeing the final quiet that's come over this chamber after being suddenly ripped to consciousness by a healing potion and by the power of Anubis.

Iris, are you okay? I do not have time to speak. And I'm going to begin to start drawing broons, not broons, but pictographs into the earth around using my thaumaturgy. Just these symbols all around Caprice as I light my candles and I pull out my censer.

And I'm going to yell out for silence, but I'm going to grab Toa's hand and stand behind me. I need all the strength I can get. I'm bleeding. I still only have one health. I'll stagger up and just put a hand behind you as well. I am going to lean down and I'm going to whisper to Caprice before I start my ritual. And I'm going to say, I forgive you for the choices that you've made.

A soul was tainted. But you are not. You are good. You don't deserve what has happened to you. And you cannot be judged in this moment. I will do what I can, Caprice. We love you. Hear me. Hear us. Come back to me. And I am going to cast Revivify. And I can find it. I'm going to put my hand onto Caprice's chest.

as all of the, what feels like a strange darkness engulfs all of us. It's just the light of the flickering flame beneath the censer and the billowing of smoke as it undulates around us. Anubis et her car secmetsais, guardian of the tomb, land of the Duat, he who just the balance and the whole of two truths, come forth from the darkness, deliver back this soul unto us.

On Poole, Jackal of the Graveyards, First of Westerners, He who is upon the mountain, I ask that you mind these scales carefully. Let them not tilt against my plea. Governor of the Dead, Master of the House of Bandages, Royal One from the Body of Ra, grant me the power to pull this soul from the realms of the Duat. Father of Kabahet, He who eases death, Bringer of the Peaceful Death,

if it be your will a place by your side shall be open to me stand as my eternal guardian forever watchful as i guide this soul safe passage to the living he who embalmed wasir

He from the city of Pelis, the great Anubis, lord over death, be praised, and may the soul find a home atop the mountain. And all darkness will descend. Holy crap. It's...

The words of your prayer to Anubis echo in this chamber, bouncing off the stone walls, now so eerily quiet after being so cacophonous just moments earlier, as the darkness, the light of the censer, glows and the power of Anubis washes over the mangled corpse of your fallen friend as your soul is called back to breathe.

Am I free to return? Your consciousness... Your consciousness comes to you, and you... The power of this spell is incredibly strong, and you feel like you at least have momentary... Momentary consciousness as your life returns to you. You breathe in. Holy shit. Caprice?

What happened? What can you see? Can you hear anything? Can you hear us? And I'm going to dissipate the darkness around us, which really goes to flavor. Dissipate the flavor. Dissipate the flavor so obviously you can see it. How do I feel? You feel as if this is very temporary and you suddenly feel control of your own actions starting to leave you. You know it's happening.

Guys? What? Please. Am I... Am I alive? Am I okay? You're fine! You're fine! You're alive! You look alive. Yeah, you're right here. We're here. You're speaking to us. It's okay. I... The same thing happened to me and I'm back. I don't... I'm such an idiot! You're not an idiot.

It's okay. No, you're fine. You'll be okay. I had my hands on his chest. I'm going to cradle him in my arms. You feel cradled as you feel your grip on this life leaving Caprice. You feel a tug on your soul. Can I, being what I am, feel that he is leaving us? Make a religion check. At advantage, because you're a great cleric.

Natural 20. I will say with that, you know that the only... To intensify her grief. You get the sense, Iris, being a farrier of souls, that the only reason why Caprice's soul is back for a brief moment is because of the sheer power of Anubis.

and the connection that you've had with Caprice. I'm going to... So I can feel that his soul is leaving. Yes. I am going to scream out, No! And I am going to cast Diviner Dimension. You do that. It's going to fail because it's a very low chance it succeeds. But I am going to try. And I'm shaking. I'm crying. I have one hit point. I'm bleeding all over Caprice. And I am... I beg of you, please! No! No!

What the hell? I didn't sign up for that. I don't even know how divine intervention works. I have to roll a d100. And you have to roll less than 11. Equal to or below your level. What is my level? 11? 11. No. You call out to Anubis. And Anubis has done much today. The fuck? And his power was strong enough to do seemingly the impossible. But not enough to prevent what's going to happen.

I'm such an idiot. I should have kissed Herja that night. Instead, I just taught her knife monopoly. We just hung out. You still can, Caprice. She's right there. She looks a little different. Yeah, she's right there. Don't give up. I look and I see a jade statue of her. You see a jade statue of Torvald standing over a destroyed forge and Herja's body

is alive, covered in thick fur, her face is elongated, almost as if she's a beast creature of musk oxen variety, completely consumed by beast plague. Turned instantly. This world is lost! No! Felix! You're the smartest person I know, I...

reach in and hand you a piece of parchment as well as I can. This is, this is Glacia's fault. You just, you just curse her name with all of these curses, okay? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

Who could think so, right? I will not lie to you in your moment of death, Therese. I have called to an end this, and my call has fallen on deafness. Your soul does not belong to him that does not belong to me. I have done all that I can. I will preserve your body the best I can, and we will find a way, someday, whatever it takes.

And I will, I think I can cast, it's a ritual, so I'm pretty sure I can cast it. I'm going to Gentle Repose.

Yes, one action. I'm gonna cast Gentor Pose on you and you feel a warmth of the desert sun shining down on your body. No, no, no, no, that can't be it! There's nothing that we can't solve without enough information! That can't be it! No, he's fine! Look at him! You just saved him! He's not getting any more! I'm going to turn your face towards me and I'm gonna stare into your eyes.

Should you meet the Lord beneath the mountain, should your heart be weighed, do not lie. You're too good to lie. Do you understand me? If you lie, there is nothing I can do for you. I won't lie. You will remain here with us always. A piece of you in our hearts. Always. We will avenge you.

I don't understand. What's wrong? What's wrong? He's fine. He's alive. You're here, aren't you, Caprice? Caprice, you start to lose control of yourself. You feel like you have time. Just a brief instant as you feel compelled. You feel you have time for one more song. He does not have much time. Say your goodbyes. As you begin to lose control of your own mind. I'll sing.

You say that the cost of a diamond is a price that you're willing to pay. Don't cry, but a soul must be free to return back to its natural life. Why so sad?

Remember I had an agreement with his great, great, great, great granddad. Oh, it makes me so glad. Now enjoy your bereavement because he's my man.

Caprice won't be back. Don't you see? His eternal soul belongs to me. He won't be back despite your spell. He's forever stuck in the nine hells. Devils rise. Heroes fall.

Such a joy to have caused it all. And if push comes to shove, I will send a full battalion to destroy everything you love. Bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye- Bye-bye-bye- Bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye- Bye- Bye-bye

Bye, bye, bye, yada. Bye, bye, bye. You say that you want Caprice back or you can go on.

You've missed the fucking point of this song. Caprice will not resurrect my sweet capricious subject, my shiny new soul object forever and ever and ever and ever and ever.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. As the maliciousness on his face fades one last time, a lifeless Caprice collapses into your arms, and then you all feel a slight breeze and the shadows move. Endeavor. As Caprice collapses dead.

I'm wrenching the parchment he gave me in my hand. I've crumpled it. This just can't be it. And I'm shaking him and I'm looking at Iris. Please, this just can't be it. We can't lose any more people. Do it again. Iris, do it again. Please. I'm going to tear streaming down my face. I'm going to slowly begin to clean and wrap.

Caprice's body, as this is when I will cast gentle repose on him. "O glorious Anubis, lord of the sacred, we call on you, the jackal god of the dead and emboldened. Come to the aid of our dear friend. He has left our world and entered into yours. We humbly ask that you guide and protect him, bestow on him wisdom so that he can make his way to Osiris.

We pray that you remember all the good deeds that he did here on earth, with endless love. It is our hope that he finds his way to paradise, to a place where he will be reborn, and spend eternity free of all earthly sufferings. Keep him safe, Owen. Bye, Sir Lewis. Amy, to all. I just want you to come. He can't come back? No. No. I must fix him. I can't. I...

There's no way this is it. We heard his song. Yes, you all heard the song, and you saw as Caprice gave one last song that that was not your friend. His soul was ripped out of him the moment he began that song. No, no, no. I refuse to believe it. We know for a fact that there's a way to get from Caprice

This plane to another. We can get it back! We can get it back! This isn't the end. We've done it before. We can do it again! I don't know. No! What do you mean you don't know? Once we were six, and now we are four. No! And you want to tread on her land? Yes! We just need the key. We just need the key! Did you see what happened here today in the lair of but a dragon?

You want to try to fell Glacia in her land? You condemn us all to death. No, no, it's just a matter of learning. If we get enough information, we can answer any question. We can find a way. We can do it. It's okay. No. It's okay, Felix. No. We just need the key. It's okay. Felix. We just need the key to the door. Felix.

I don't know what to do. I don't know how to find the key. I know what to do. It's not time for jokes, Toby. I'm gonna pick him up. The priest? I'm supposed to be talking to you.

You're 50 feet tall. I'm 15 feet tall. I'm not five stories tall. Holy shit! How did you not step on the dragon and kill it? That's bigger than the guards in the Feywild. Fuck you. Fuck off. Now is not the time. Fuck you. I want to try to kind of grab... I'm dressing him and preparing him for...

gentle repose, but I'll let you take him if you want to. And you think I can continue with- well, he picks him up. I will wait for that to be done. Who's she? He's right over there. Don't point behind us. This is all because of her. This isn't her, just you wait. Do not, in this moment when we've lost someone so close to us, do not try to blame this on her. I'm not trying to blame her. This is Glossier's foot.

We can at least- This is Xehanort's fault. This is our fault. We knew what we were handing over when we put the Rod floor back together. We knew it. We knew we would pay for the consequences of our actions. Caprice knew the risks of trying to save Persia. We all did. I wish any of us had died, except him. Because maybe we would all be together. But at the very least, it was for someone he cared deeply about.

So we need to do what we can to help Osho. It's what the priest would have wanted! What do you suggest we do? I don't know.

Is she still in that bubble? No, the bubble's shattered. So she's on the ground unconscious, and she seems to be very exhausted. It reminds you of Amos, the very first day that you met. Right. Totally unconscious, and struggling, having a restless sleep, snorting, breathing heavily, completely turned to a beast. May I? May you walk. Take, please.

Where? Over there. Can you please explain to me what you plan to do? He's going to take him to Herrsa. That is not Herrsa. If she should awake, if she should do something to his body, do you want to risk us never being able to bring him back? We don't know what she is. We have but ten days, ten days before his body is incapable of finding its soul again.

And you want to risk it with a plague we do not understand? Yes, he loved her, but Caprice is not in this body. Yes, he is. His soul has left Toby. But it's still Caprice. Yes, this form is, but his soul is gone. How will we bring it back? I don't know, but we have ten days to find out. This is your job, Iris. This is what you were trained for. And you, Lufti...

Step away. Shut your mouth until you do anything to help. Do not tell me what I should be doing. I have done everything for you, for all of you. I have screamed into the sacred tomb and heard nothing but my voice reverberate back at me. We are weak. We are tired. I am on the verge of death myself. And he is gone.

It does not bring me joy to say this to any of you, but let us not waste what precious time, what little life we have left on folly. We must save him, and taking him to a beast and allowing it to put its maw upon his flesh. It is sacrilegious and I will not watch it. We have two friends to save here. We must cure her and we must save Caprice. I love you.

I would not watch you die. I used all I had to save you, each of you. Do not turn on me now. I need you. I need your strength. Give it to me. Help me to not waste this time. I will turn, and I will leave Caprice with Iris, and I will walk over to the wrong floor. Stand there. There's Link. There's Link.

You see now the Rod of Law reforged in its pure state. I'm going to grab your hand. The special forge blade of the glaive shattered in pieces. Now just the pure artifact of the Upper Plains from the make of Moradin himself, along with the other gods, the other six gods of good and law, now lies before you. I will kneel down, and I will pick it up.

you pick it up you feel tremendous power within almost resonates with with the same kind of uh tonality of music as it hits against the the the ground as you as you pick it up the same from the chimes of the eternal veil of akka

It rings? Yeah, it just very light resonance, almost kind of as a, this thing. And it just feels heavenly. It feels orderly, but it feels good. And as you grab it, it's probably about, you know, probably about the size of a quarter staff. And I like to try to point it at Persia and just see if I can try to do anything with it. Like,

this is a powerful artifact just please fix it and i'm just gonna point it at her nothing happens as you do it i'm gonna walk back over to iris upon iris finishing her her speech no you're good um i i call out my spell book and it will and i begin to jot down and i think wiping my eyes

Ten days? Yes. Ten days? Yes. I will mummify his body. Okay. All right. I mean, but this isn't the end. That's important, and that's what matters. Yes. Look, I know it's been a while. I know that it's been a while, but a couple of things, and please bear with me here. Garth Gruber, we reached out to him many, many weeks ago. He said...

He said that the brew was working on Amos. He said that it was. We saw Amos and he looked terrible. He looked like Hersha does now, but he said that the brew was working. And we all went. We all did it. We went to the veil.

And we did it, and the feather, and the machine. And I flipped through my notebook, and I showed them the crude drawing of the Eerios machine that I had sketched. And I say, Caprice told me it was a note. It was a musical note. There was a resonance.

We can beat this. We can beat whatever this plague is. And maybe the Brotherhood knows. And if there's some connection to some other plane, we can find out what it is. If we could get to the Veil, and it was just some resonance, and there was some machine that could do it, we could figure out where Caprice is now. I don't care who has him. We can get there.

And we can bring him back. We can fix. This isn't the end. Ten days. That's all the time we need. I believe it. I believe it, please. And I know. I know you do, too. Tell him, please. Can we even get there in ten days? We get there instantly. Think about how fast we got from here to the Vale. And we got from the Vale back. It's as if no time passed at all.

We have a feather left, don't we? Yes. We could get to the veil. We have to do whatever we can possibly do. And I think that's just the first step. This rod doesn't work. Or at least it didn't when I tried to point an atosier and I wielded it around like a... Well, maybe you just don't know how to use it. I guess you're right. I just thought that maybe I could try. It's a good try. Look, the feather...

And the veil, they're connected. And the machine, the machine that they built, it was connected, right? This feather is something of the veil. And look, and I point to Caprice with both my hands. He is of the health. He told us there has to be something. And very almost...

with Srigard, irreverent, right? I pull out my dagger that is of, you know, the Talon guard and I clink on his horns and I try to get some resonance.

What are you doing? Stop that. He told us many times that he's of the Nine Hells. There's a link. Just let me be. And I'm trying to just make some kind of resonance off his horns. As awful and irreverent as it may be. Make an arcana check. Pardon me as I pull up DDPR. I think I get what you're laying down.

C-T-B-I-B, everybody. That's not a good roll, is all I'm going to say. Arcana? It's a 15. 15. On the nose. It clinks against the horn, and it just sounds like a dagger clinking against the...

Just a horn. The horn like it would have a goat or a bull. No, there has to be something. And I'm still clenching the parchment he gave me in my hand. This isn't it. There's no way this is the end. I don't believe it. I refuse. I need time. Ten days. We have time. Ten days. I don't think you need that time. I'll put my hand on the field to show you. No, no. If you had a last wish and you're holding it in your hand right now, do it.

I will unfurl this parchment that he handed me. And it's crumpled. It's a mess. I'm fucking squeezing the hell out of it. It says, in case I die, fuck Galacia.

Curse number one. Every time she gets in bed, it's like someone's eaten an entire everything bagel. What is it written? What is it written? Curse number two. What's it written in? It's written in common. Okay. All right. All right. And it's two, three, four, five, probably 36 different curses of minor inconveniences that stack one on top of the other would be the worst day that you could possibly imagine. The sides of your nose are particularly sensitive. One of them is closed. Yeah.

You've got cuticle problems on every finger, paper cuts. You're really not helping here, Derek. No, it's literally a revenge document. An eternal hangnail. One persistent stye. That's what you would get reading this document. It's nothing but like, hey, can you take care of this for me? It's just fuck Glossier in these really weirdly minor ways. You have a sunburn in your armpit. I get done reading the parchment.

And I'm speechless. And I look to tell and I say, there's nothing here. It didn't do anything. There is. Did you read it out loud? I would read to myself. I did not read out loud. I scanned it very simply. And I look to the group and I say, there's literally nothing here.

And I would kind of let it fall to my hand and kind of... Because I'm stunned. I'm stunned that Caprice would hand me this piece of paper that seemed so significant and it ended up being completely insignificant. And I would even argue that maybe I committed a mistake. I will pick it up and I will look at it and I will start to laugh. This is not insignificant. Caprice gave us what Caprice has always given us. Joy.

Laughter and hope. For Glacia only has a chance against us if we're hopeless. But with this, I want to free Caprice from her more than I ever have. And with hope in my heart, she will come to fear us. She will come to know us. For our souls are not hers. But she will belong to us.

And I'm going to fold it up neatly, and I'm going to put it in my pocket. Someone take this. I'll hold out the wrong one. Oh, I didn't want to touch that thing. I can't hold that. You're the best candidate for it, Nance. I probably wouldn't be able to pick it up. It looks much too heavy. Would you mind going like this a few times? Maybe that will get it to work. And I'll just watch as his bicep gets larger. I don't understand. No, I think you should have this. I...

In quite a way, we needed to see that it wasn't working. Oh. If you want me to carry it, I will, but who is going to carry Caprice, and who is going to carry Herja? Well, I was going to carry both of them. I could carry something, somebody. I'm sorry I yelled at you. I'm sorry I yelled at you too, Colin. We love you very much. I meant it when I called you my sister. And I know that we have had tension between us.

What I mean, yeah. I love that. Iris.

As you grab the rod, you feel power within it. Oh, no. You... It doesn't cast any magic or do anything, but you feel a familiarity of the power, some of the power, a fraction of the power that's in this rod, some of the power. And you can sense the undeniable...

Mark of Osiris on this. Interesting.

The lord of my master, you know? Shit. I receive change. Caprice, you did. It's funny on the lot of levels. Oh, hey, I'm your great aunt Gina. It's nice to meet you, Caprice. How you liking hell? I've got my family tree right here. Yeah, there you are. Oh, boy. I feel the magic wash over me, and I will look up at Toa. I want to keep no secrets.

I felt something when you handed this to me. The power of Osiris rests in this weapon. Who? The lord of my master, Osiris. What does that mean? Lord of your master? Stop speaking in riddles! Who is it? I'm not speaking in riddles. The lord of Osiris is the lord? Where I am from, the ruler over death, all death. Not just the judging of hearts. Not just the pathway of souls.

It is through Anubis that you meet Osiris. Wait, wait, wait. Is this like a god of a god? How does that work? That is how it works. I don't understand. Osiris rules above all others. And you can feel him? Him? In the wall? Part of this wall. Roughly one-seventh of this wall is of him.

That gives me hope. I mean, it sounds like at the very least, then, this being, this god is some sort of agent of law and a force for good. I mean, I would certainly think so, coming from you. Yes. And my guess, and it is but a guess, is he was one of the seven that walked away, that broke the rod in seven pieces.

But when we were all angels, were you the angel of... of Cyrus? I believe so. Yes. So that stands to reason I... I was like some lion guy, like a lion king, if you will.

Literally. Literally. And you were sort of the embodiment of Osiris then. That's good. Maybe you can use that connection somehow to save Caprice, to save Hersha. I will spend time with the Lord and see what I can learn from it. I do not believe I will learn much.

Is there a breathing? She is breathing. She's passed out. She's alive. She's alive and she's breathing heavily as if she's in a restlessly, just like Amos. Unconscious, very weak after everything that happened, but very clearly turned. You see, still short, but you see the dark fur. You see her boots have been ripped out and there are heavy hooves,

where there's once been feet. A horse, dark fur. And the horns come around and it reminds you of Peyton slightly, in their shape. And then she begins to sing. No. It feels horrible to say it, but should Hersha awake, we cannot risk the rest of us falling to beast plague. We need to bring her with us, but we need to make sure that she cannot...

affect us. Of course. I agree. It goes without saying we have to take proper precautions, but that's fine. We can do that. But what about Torvald? We have to bring him too. We can come back for him. She will never forget us. He's stone, right? He's the ice dream. He's far too heavy for us to carry. And I'm going... She's gonna be so mad, though. Well, I...

Yes. I don't know how to sugarcoat it. Her father is a jade statue, and I believe she cared for Caprice, and he is now dead. Should she awake, that is a very horrible situation to be in, and there is no way around it. But we only have ten days, and there are but four of us. We will have to leave, Torrin, and hope that nothing happens to me and Torrin. Can't we just use the feather right here?

I don't see why not. Does it have like a limit? Like a weight limit? Or like a personal limit? Wasn't it all six of us? Oh yeah, yeah. But you know that it doesn't bring objects back, so Caprice would have to be alive. It wouldn't bring his body. To the Vale. To the Vale, correct. Does not work on its living creatures. So it wouldn't bring our bags or anything?

Anything that's on you, your equipment or whatever. But basically, if it's something that's like... We couldn't tailor that corpse with us, like a bunch of corpses or a statue or whatever. Yeah. Maybe we could get Yuzaki to watch him here and keep him safe. And all the others, too. All these statues were people once. I don't think Yuzaki will help us.

I think you'd do anything that we say. We killed his master. And for that, we will be his enemy. Well, he's going... You saw what kind of person he is. You've seen me make master out of so many guys like this. They're just looking for someone to follow. Well, I hope that you were right. He'll fall in line. We just need to...

Show him that she's not an option and he'll cling to the next best thing. And that's probably you, so... Fresh enough. It's definitely not me. This is in your hands. You said you were going to do this. You just yelled at me to fix this. I did. I yelled back at you to shut up and do something and then you offered to do something so you could then turn around and tell me to do it. Oh, jeez.

Can you do this or can't you? I don't know, it's a dragon thing! You're trying to raise him. A dog and a deer and a horse maybe? I don't know, what is he? You've probably done worse, maybe? That's true. You were sold into slavery and you got yourself out of it. That's true. By people who will not be named.

I'm actually not listening and I'm sitting by Caprice's corpse. Whether you're holding him or whatever. I haven't picked him up yet. Then I'm sitting down next to Caprice's corpse and I'm very intently looking at him. Make an investigation check while that happens. I was prepared to

To really do nothing. I was, quite frankly, I had no control over the situation. But I was quite prepared to be incredibly angry when you appeared out of nowhere. That is resourcefulness. It is resilience.

Do you believe you can do this or don't you? Yeah, I mean, I can do it. It's just like, you know, if I, I don't know. I can do it. I'm going to shake her. Snap out of it. Can you or can you not do it? Okay. I have faith in you. Yeah, I can do it. Tell her you have faith in her.

I have faith in all of us, yes. And you too, Lofty. I do. You have faith in me? I do. Are you still, like, 100 feet tall? I'm still 15 feet tall, yes. That's why I said 150 feet tall. I have faith in you too, Lofty. I have faith in you too, Lofty. The sun makes me feel better because he's so big and I'm, like, a little itty-bitty. Very tiny. Yeah. Okay.

His oki will sense your weakness. No, it won't, because I have none. That is my girl, and I'm going to give you a big hug. I'm going to receive this big hug and also give you one. That's lovely. Now what do we do? It's time for the brains. Ez, you take a look.

at Caprice. His violin and the bow now gently placed at him, at his, uh, on top of him. You see his jacket, his, the jacket that he wears and in towards the front, or...

Towards his heart, you see a bit of an indentation of something that may have been in a front pocket. Perfect, because I was going to go through all his belongings anyways, or whatever it was. You find... Let's see. You find the deck of illusions, and you would find also these two items. You also find... You reach into the pocket, Felix, and you find a cracked tuning fork.

Cracked what? Tuning fork. Oh. It seems to be made of a reddish material. How badly damaged does it look? It looks like there's definitely a large crack in it. If I try to gently use it, what happens? Gently. Kind of lets out this strange resonance that sounds... It is musical. It doesn't tune towards the whatever note. How do you tune the fork?

Like, you know, basically... Well, so generally there's a resonance, right? But, like, if it's broken, it might just sound like a thunk. It might... I wouldn't ring, right? You see that the magical power that it may have had in it is no longer humming from it. But it does still somehow let out a resonance, and it's musical. I drop the two items that Caprice...

There also would have been a spell scroll of Mage Hand if you care for it. No, I mean, I go through shit, right? And like, I ditch the two items that you just gave me. I put them on the ground and I give a fuck. And I am focused on this Dunyfork. And I'm focused on this Dunyfork. And I'm going to keep this Dunyfork.

But I'm focused on it. I don't give a shit about the things you gave me. I put them on the ground. Those are just on my person that you would find. If anybody else prefers to look at them, that's fine. I don't give them a second thought. I'm focused on this new fork. I would see Felix drop them and I would just tuck them back in his jacket. I would do that. And I'm looking at the new fork. I'm sketching in my spell book and I'm looking through my things. So let me at least carry him.

Yes. I will lean down and I will scoop up Caprice and hold him in, you know, my forearms probably. I can really cradle him, right? Yeah, you can cradle him very easily. And then I will go over to Hersha and I will lean down and I will, you know, I guess scoop her up as well and sort of have them both on each arm. Knowing that I have probably three and a half hours left of being gigantic.

You do that. And so you reach down and you scoop up Hergia, and she stirs very slightly, but she's very deeply exhausted. You get the sense that you have hours before this creature awakes. But it's barely the Hergia. It looks like another member of the Horned Legion at this point. And you scoop her up, and you hold Caprice in your arms, and you are looking at him.

Thank you so much for listening to the Legends of Aventress podcast. We hope you enjoyed the session. If you want even more campaigns to listen to, become a member of our Patreon at the Pearl Dolphin tier or higher to unlock Shroud Over Saltmarsh, a patron-exclusive campaign set on the high seas. You can find that at patreon.com slash legendsofaventress.

If you want to chat about the episode with the Avengers community, join us on Discord at legendsofadventures.com slash discord. We also post content nearly every day on YouTube, TikTok, and Instagram, so make sure you follow our socials at legendsofadventures.com slash social. And make sure you check out The Crooked Moon so you can terrify your friends with a folk horror 5e supplement published by us. Get your own copy at thecrookedmoon.com. Thanks again, and we'll see you next time.