Beneath Dark Wings | Ep. 51 | Trapped in Amber: Part 1
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Welcome to Legends of Avantris. I'm Iris, and you're listening to Beneath Dark Wings. Here's what happened last time. Mike, what happened last time? You know, I don't remember. Thanks for coming by, folks. That's it. Last time, you were in Castle Remornia of Count Escher Kreskov.

We'll make this super quick. The little girl, Valeska, had been kidnapped by strange flesh abominations. Escher had made it seem as if they were the creations, the fleshcraft works of his adopted daughter, Rabinovia Von Zarovich.

but the strange shape, the arachnid, the beetle of the strange designs seemed to have a connection that went beyond just Borok the carrion king.

and seemed to be something more like Iris would recognize. As you went upstairs, the storm boomed and the face, the head of Vorok, the Carrion King, appeared, and he was not a Shadar Kai himself, or at least you wouldn't have expected him to look like a literal vulture with teeth within his beak.

strange and bloated, misshapen, a hideous form that taunted you. Reference peering beyond the veil, through the mists, and achieving some sort of goal.

With that, you all went to get gargoyles. You bought him a gargoyle that he had made for some other friends, but had never used. With the alchemical reagents, he left Brutus in charge, the major domo, in charge of the castle. And you all flew south to Barovia, the valley of Barovia, where he was from.

And you saw that this land was covered in a huge forest of what he called dragonflame trees, which had protected it from the ghouls and elves and all the like. The gobble ghouls. The gobble ghouls, especially, yes, exactly. But surrounding it was something called the Beastwood, where the trees had strange, pained faces and were absolutely barren.

You were led by a strange spirit with a lantern, a light, and for some reason, although the entire valley was hallowed ground, Escher was able to enter. He was welcome in this place. You all then were greeted, not really greeted, but just met by some riding crusaders, knights riding with the lord of this land, the count, Alexei Manzarovich. He and Escher had gone out to discuss business while you all were made prisoners

camp at a Pakistani camp, who was basically a village, really, just of tents and small temporary structures, where you met Alessandro Takash and his daughter Misha. You happen to be celebrities here.

They had seen plays and stories in Eerios, where they had been traveling to perform and make their money and the like, and they told you the story that Valeska had gone off into the woods and been kidnapped, captured, and then her mother, Sofiana Belikov, had gone after her and had never returned. The howling in the hills, the movement of the werewolves,

this pack, the Silver Pine Pack, had been growing more restless, and children had been going missing, and they think that they were to blame. You all offered to, as Escher tried to get some artifacts or some things that he thought he might need, you all decided to go look for this mother, and you were actually able to track down the lair of

of the Silverpine werewolves, lycanthropes, and you happened upon guards that were waiting for some sort of exchange for the Shadarchai to drop off the daughter of the pack leader, Ivar Silverpine, who was also called Old Scratch, amongst his pack and other people in the village.

had gotten a name for himself. And you snuck around, tried to see if you could sneak in, and you decided to just announce yourselves and parlay. And you found a cavern city, basically, of these very malnourished lycanthropes,

that were very clearly just desperately trying to survive. And you found Ivar to be gruff, but not particularly unreasonable in your negotiations with him. But he did admit to kidnapping children and giving them off to the Shadar Kai because they had kidnapped his daughter Fiona and had demanded regular child kidnapping in order to do that, especially around Barovia.

As you were parlaying, there was a great commotion, and Fiona was returned. She was unconscious in some sort of stasis, and she was returned to Ivar, and unfortunately, as he returned, you saw that

She was not returned the way that she left. She began to horribly transform, and not into her lycanthrope form, but into a massive werewolf abomination with several jaws covered in pustules that radiated silver light, completely paralyzing all of the lycanthropes in the area, and in this abominable state, turned to attack. But fortunately, you all not being lycanthropes were unaffected by this horrible light. Anything that I missed? Any questions?

So this is his daughter that's turned into this thing. I also believe that I left the Alexandro Takash team, like the whole party, with a song that they would practice until we returned to warn children about the Beast Lord. I just wanted to make sure we remembered that fact.

Do I remember that? I did do that. I remember it. I don't remember what song it was. No, I never got a chance to sing it. Okay. So you will sing it. It was very much a cautionary tale. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Trying to make sure that the kids understood the threat of the beasthood. Oh yeah, Hector Mancron. Oh yeah! So, allow me to... It was really funny. I heard. I heard.

You are in the... Here, actually, let me restart. Get all your ducks in a row. So you... Go. You all are standing in the...

the throne room, wherever Ivar seems to hold court in this werewolf city. And you have watched this young girl, no older than 13,

horribly transform into a colossal abomination of fleshcraft, an abomination, a werewolf, covering these strange pustules that seem to start having minds of their own as they start to radiate and blast this silver light. Ivar himself is howling and wincing in pain, completely powerless and helpless, as he immediately...

turns back into his human form, following this blast of silver light, then back into his hybrid form, then into a wolf form, back and forth, transforming helplessly and painfully as he attempts to scrape away from the abomination, unable to form words, as this creature looks at you with its pained, maddened eyes,

covered in horrible growths, multiple jaws, several tongues lashing about like a horrific art project of a malicious child. It lets out a demonic guttural howl. I need everyone to roll for initiative. - Let's go! - Oh no. - I'm advantage numbers.

- Good, that's nice. - Oh, and look at my amazing, I don't know if you can see it, Richie got me this at Gen Con. - I did. - For Iris. - Yeah, we should actually find out the name of that company. - I know, 'cause we keep shilling them. Wait, are we 13? - 12. - 12. - Okay, cute. We're supposed to prepare to be 13. - Okay, I got ahead of myself. Anubis, watch over my rolls. - I have to roll finish.

I was answering someone's question in chat. And last session underneath our wings was the second session that we didn't have combat. That's amazing. Because we took too long doing everything else. 17. 20 to 25. 21. 21.

I have to remember how to play my character. Yeah. I need to remember how to run combat. So many times, I just don't know how to play. 17. 17 as well. Would you like to go first? No, you can go first. I'll go first. Felix, then Iris. Okay, what did Luffy get? Toa, 16, so right after that. I'll be at the end with a seven. That's very nice. That's very nice. Is there really going on? Or a two? I rolled a two. There you go. Let's roll this. Let's roll this.

but I'm gonna do really well from here on out. - Twos happen. That's why we wear our studio diapers. - Oh, where are we here? Okay. - Place your maids around this-- - Did you already have this where you wanted it? - No, no, no, no, I didn't put it. - You can see at the head, that's not actually like a pyramid. It was kind of a not natural rock formation, but I just figured it'd be easier for the rules of the map

to just make it- - Oh, I see. - So it's kind of like a cavern that builds up into that pillar where Ivar Fee sat. And there would have been a number of benches where werewolves would sit and listen to him, but I figured we didn't even include that. And then that is the huge statue of Mother Night.

with the goat skull. I didn't include the wolf pelt on top of it, but. - Okay, statue of Mother Night. - We can use our imagination. - Rock that has like a, is it like a throne or something? - It was his table that he was, his facing table. - Yeah, and so that's just the general gist. - I'm picturing him like scarred, his layer.

Oh, that's good. Yeah, this kind of looks like it. Looks like it, that's good. I'm just sharing the things I remember. And place your knees around Fiona. Oh, so she's sort of in the middle here? She's in the middle here, because she was being held by Ivar. And for the sake of this, Ivar is scraping away out of sight, so you don't have to deal with him. Is that good? Yeah. A little five-star. Okay.

This abominable wolf creature looms over all of you. Caprice, you are up. What do you do? Seeing this nightmare monstrosity in front of me, I will run to my friends. Can I get...

without provoking an attack of opportunity from the nightmare creature as close to Felix and Iris as possible? I would say no. There's no opportunity attacks because you were able to back up as his horrible monster was transforming. Oh. It was... So he can just move as normal. Yes. Okay, so... But just...

No, no, well, no, I'm saying that don't move as normal, don't get into it, but I'm just saying if you move around-- You can skirt it. Oh, okay, got it. You can skirt without issue. So I will run into this area as much as I can. What's your speed? 30. This is as far as you can get right here. Okay, I'll get there. And then knowing that my magical abilities are powered by music,

I will sing. The first thing that comes to my mind is like a very mundane song I wrote years ago about general stores. It's milk, it's bread, it's the wares on your list. It's the place to go if you're looking to thrift. It's ink, it's lamps, it's maps, it's soap. It's 50 feet of silk or hempen rope. It's a grappling hook. It's a bell for your boat. It's a water skin filled with milk from a goat. It's a general store.

with a crazy name. Ten kinds of rations that all taste the same. It's a two copper flask. Why does it cost four? I get alchemist fire, but I don't have any more. I'll cast slow. This is a great song, Garrett. That's first one. And you need to make a wisdom saving throw and my DC, my DC, my AC is 17. Oh.

- I am going to use a Legendary Resistance on that. - Wow. - That's right out of the gate. - All righty. - As the wolf abominations start to slow down and you start to see the way that its flesh is moving, it is unmistakably different. The opposite of that. It is unmistakably the same as the horrible arachnid and insectoid creatures that attacked you in Castle Remorneon.

It's a similar construction and it channels the darkness within it and then breaks free of that slow. - Seeing that my slow failed, I'll use my bonus action to turn to Felix and be like, "You got this Felix, come on, you got this." I'll give you inspiration. - One, two, ten.

- Yes sir. - Mike, don't forget you do have a couple Twists of Bread if you need them. - Yeah, your new legendary resistance. - Only one. - Only one. - So chat, if you want me to break up the party. - Don't do it, chat. We won't be friends anymore. Donate 667. - As soon as it hears your annoying song,

It turns towards you and you see this horrible pustule of silver light on its face pulse and pulse and it wells up the silver light and blasts at you. Ew!

- This is gonna get disgusting. - I mean, it's just light. It could be worse. - But it's pus light. - That's going to be... - Is it room filled with sweat? - Yes. - And also the room is starting to fill with sweat. - 26 to hit. - Yeah, that hits. - 26 to hit. - Yeah, that hits. - What do you know? - My AC is 30. - The blinding is a silver light and it actually stinks as it whizzes past you and blasts you in the face. - Oh God.

- 20 points of radiant damage, and you need to make a constitution saving throw. - Oof. - As it crashes into you. - Don't worry, he has 99. - 20 points. - It's gonna be high. - Apply changes. What type of damage is that? - It's radiant. - Radiant, okay, I'm not resistant against that. Is this against poison? - It is not. - It's not, so I will not enjoy the advantage, but I will enjoy eight plus. - Oh, you got that, come on. - Come on. - Con is...

Save and throw? Nope, it's gonna be 12. Your eyes are singed as they blast with silver light themselves. You are blinded for a minute. You can repeat the save and throw at the end of each of your turns. At the end? Outstanding. Okay, that's one legendary action. Layer action. You see actually that same similar, the same pustule growth that grew on its cheek that shot at you, then

sloughs off, falls to the ground and starts to slither across the ground, blasting with silver light as five more growths fall off of its body and they all grow horrible, disgusting mouths and into a shamble towards it. Oh no.

- I don't care for it. - I reject that. - I imagine it'd be like fleshy Shaw. - Mother Knight, help us! - That was actually one of the things, but I didn't have them in white, so. - We should just like 'em all over? - Just put one in each person and then we'll put two on Caprice. - Ooh. - Yikes.

Squishies are in trouble. I have more than that. Oh, there was only, uh... Put another on Toa. And then put another on Lifty. Yep, I was gonna choose Lifty. Um, with that... Do we have homework? You love your life. The silver blob, we're gonna get two on Caprice here. We're gonna get a big and a little. You know what I mean? Both of those are going to miss, actually. Not really. I surely don't, sir. Two on Toa.

One's a natural one. That's gonna horribly miss, okay. We're gonna get two, that was a mufti, this is on Toa.

- Hold on, hold on. Does a 24 hit? - No. - And then a 17. 17 and 24. - 17 misses, 24 hits. - Okay. - So 17 we'll say was first. This, you see this silvery blob engulfs you as you're going to take-- - Would I have had time to battle trance before this or does it start fresh like the sun? - I would say if you saw this thing like,

growing larger. You had several seconds where you could have backed up and like gotten, seen that this monster was going to attack you. You're going to enjoy. Yeah, we watched all the werewolves die. I'm sure you would have been like, "Oops."

- I also just wanna say I love that basically they delivered like a ticking time bomb, like back to the 14 points of Legendary Damage. - It's so nasty. - That is sick. - And you are 14 points and it then starts to engulf you and wrap around your limbs and you are restrained and you're gonna take an additional

Seven points of radiant damage as the silver sends into your skin and you're going to take that every turn until you become a... - Oh my god. - So he is restrained by this creature? - By the blob, yep. - Damn, I had a plan. - I got you, brother. - On Iris, then you got a miss, and then on Felix.

Two and two. Okay, big die, you're retired. With that, that is a layer action. So as this is happening and we see this creature growing, I would stumble backwards and pull out my Ravenclaw dagger. I am so uncomfortable in this situation. And as I'm walking back and swinging wildly at Rich, no, I'm kidding, it begins to glow. It begins to glow blue and I'm kicking at these creatures that are coming at me. He's going to cut something and spray us all with his own blood.

It's glowing blue. And I was going to cast haste on Telo, but I see that all of these creatures have form, and I'm gonna just drop a fucking fireball on all this shit. Nice. I can't watch. I'm gonna cast a third level fireball. So that's going to be a 17 dex check for everything. Oh, thank you, darling. I believe. Is it a sphere?

- Yeah. - I can grab the gizmo. - Yeah, grab the gizmo. - Just to make sure that we-- - It's 40 squares, 40 squares. - I thought we usually-- - Oh, it goes in that drawer down there. - I think we might be able to get every single, it's gonna be close. - It's gonna be close, but I'm not-- - If anything, it would only miss three, but I don't think. - We're looking for the fireball.

We're looking for a fireball. Because the idea is that if I just do like this, it's like everything. We'll take it. It's just about, right? So you see these silver tumors fall off of this thing. There's more than two. Yeah, like, don't see it.

and they're radiating with the same silver light. You incinerate all of them and Fiona fails her saving throw. I'm not going to watch a call out, so she's gonna take the full amount of damage here. I don't want to see this keep firing. - I see that. - That's awesome. That's so cool.

Speaking of frosty, it's fucking core tits in here. I'm gonna start sweating. 39 plus five is 44. I can't feel my toes. Plus five is 44. I'm the only sweaty. This is the highest fireball I've ever rolled. 44 points of damage. I already said I'm not using my legendary resistance. So you see it lets out a pained howl, and these eyes...

that are in the skull of this horrible abomination have always looked pained and in agony, and it just increases as the flesh sages off. The smell is absolutely disgusting as it takes away from you. It's good to be a wizard.

- And then all the minions are dead? - It feels good to be a wizard. - Thank you. - And it's going to-- - I'm gonna have to do that next time I inspire him. - But all that damage it took erupts into even more pustules. - I was gonna say it heals for 44 points of damage. - There are 40 pustules now. - Then I cast Fireball again. - There are 80 pustules. - As it uses a legendary action, as it turns its multi-jawed face towards you and lunges forward. - Yep.

My AC is 16. That'll be a 26. Okay, well there's no point in shielding. As he lunges forward and bites you as I'm doing so much fucking damage to this thing. Does piercing or necrotic make any difference to you? No. 10, 14, 16, plus...

23 points of damage of the other thing in the crawdick as it bites you, as it attempts to swallow you. I need you to make a strength saving throw, please. Well, turns out I'm actually stronger than Toa, so... We need to kill this thing right away. I got a three. Right away. I've been swallowed. Do we want to twist it, or do we think it's worth it? I have plus zero. And so if it's 15, 16, 17, it's going to be hard to hit.

I mean, that's a 25% chance. Let's do it. One twist. We got money. That's what chat's doing. Thank you, chat. One more shot.

- 13. - 13. - So its horrible jaws snap you up, and rather than being swallowed in the traditional sense, you start to just get absorbed into its flesh. And you feel the horrible flesh-crafted body completely cover you in its horrible dark magic. You get the sense that you're gonna take some damage as you're absorbed. You see Felix be completely absorbed into the flesh. - I'm sorry, I'm going to--

You see his face show out of one of those silvery pustules and then get sluiced out. So he doesn't even have most of his body, a leg out that I can pull. He's inside of him. No, he's inside of him. Okay. This is Tyra's turn. What I get for being a wizard. Great. I hope you learned your lesson here. That was a lot of work. Wonderful. Fuck.

I love the homebrew monsters I created. Oh, yeah, they're awesome. Oh, you have inspiration. I know we're already resolved. Shit. I totally forgot. I even wrote it down. I would say you can use it. I would say you can use it. And you should. You should use it. You really should. This is a d10. Yep. So you need two.

- Seven. - Seven. - That does not happen. - I thought that it was a one. - Yeah, Felix, that happens, and then you realize you're suddenly standing and you dodge out of the way, understanding what would have happened had you been-- - You can also use your Twisted Dread if you really wanna swallow you. - I'm so sorry. - I should have, but I'm wrong. - I would say you may. You let me. - Actually, let's do it. - That was very, so if you'd like to make me reroll, so it'll be plus seven. - Twisted Dread, Twisted Dread, yeah. - Seven whatever I get.

- You've swallowed. - Back to three. - Ten. - Oh! - Twisted Dread! - I love it. - Swallowed the bag out. - I think that's totally fair. - I love Twisted Dread. - You gave me a chance. - Thank you, chat. - I love that. - Who gave me the Twisted Dread? It was Molly. - Molly, thank you. - The timeline has been set. - The timeline's been set. Can we put Felix on top of Fiona? - Felix has been swallowed. I think that's totally fair. - Fiona's been completely absorbed. - Thank you. - Returned to the bag. With that, it is Iris' turn. - I am going. - More like a twist of Fed.

I imagine that, I mean, I would know this, right? Yeah, so I'm gonna turn towards Caprice. Hey. And I am going to raise my staff into the air and I'm going to use it to cast Lester Restoration on Caprice and remove his blindness. Okay. Nice.

You feel the warmth of the sand, you feel the presence of the Osirian pantheon and your blindness. The silver light now slithers down your face and falls to the ground. - Have you ever gotten pus in your eyes? - Ew. - It burns. - Ew.

- Is that Iris? - I'm just checking to see if I have any bonus actions whatsoever. I'm going to use my bonus action to cast a spiritual weapon. - Nice. - The Crooked Flail, that same shimmering turquoise type color, right? Flies out and swings towards the Abominable Fiona. - And I'm gonna cast it at a 4th level. - Roger that. - The Abominable Fiona.

That's my turn. Oh, I can make a melee attack against the creature because I cast it. Sorry, it's been a while since I played that. Yeah, we're shaking off the rust here. Thanks for bearing with us. Early September. Does a 21 hit? Yep, 21 hits. Okay, great. Oh, come on, Andy. Are you kidding me?

- It is 2d8. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no. - 12 points of damage. - 12 points of damage, swings in and takes the full Brontoi. - It's force damage, by the way. - Force damage, okay. It is going to look at you, Iris. - Amaranth, I can because the lesser restoration came from my staff, not from me.

- There we go. - Self? - Yes. - Yes, because it's a magic item, it's not a-- - Well then you still have bonus action. And with that, it is going to turn towards you and attempt to consume Iris as well. - But thank you for trying to maintain the state of the game. - It lets out a yelp as the crooked flail slam into it and the jaws come onto you, Iris. And that's going to be 16.

That might hit. No. No, it doesn't. No, you're going to dodge out of Kate Boomer Tiger as well. This is my favorite. Okay, with that, it is Toast Curd. You're engulfed in this silvery tumor, and a moment later, it is completely incinerated by the flames that miraculously do not hurt you. And then I see Felix get horrifically swallowed. No, Felix!

I'll get you in if they just hold on! And I'll run up and like there's no way to get him out, right? So I'm just gonna- No, no. He is completely consumed into the flesh of the fucking thing. I'm just gonna do best and beat the shit out of the monster. I'm just going to recklessly power attack twice. Let's go! Let's go!

- Just got shlooped, says Snow. - That's true. - Ooh, that's actually not great. - Is shloop a word that people besides us use? - I don't know. - It's a word that we use and that's, you know. - All of my characters have been shlooped so many times. I'm so sick of it. - Does a 16 hit? - Oh wow. - Oh, I'm advantage, oh, that's advantage, okay. So one hits. So that is a, I reroll this.

That is a nine plus 20 is, so 29 points of damage. - Okay.

And... You smash your totem into it, and it actually bounces off two of the horribly disgusting growths on its side, but one finds purchase, into a patch of flesh. And you smash into it. You feel the sickening crunch of bones that should not be shaped or sticking in that direction. Okay, just making sure that I am within 30 feet of everybody. I am probably right there is more...

Yep. And that's my turn. I don't think I have a bonus I can use. Yep, I'm good. Okay. Oh, it's the big bad's turn. With that, it's going to reposition.

And I did not give this one a fly-by because I'm not a mushroom monster. It's going to spin around Caprice and it's going to leap over Caprice. Oh, wow. And it crouches down and leaps over. And Toad, you'll be able to get an opportunity attack. Let's go. We're not doing that. Oh! Oh, save the reaction! It will actually leap over Caprice. So if you want to take an opportunity attack too, it'll back up a little bit more.

I think I smell what you're stepping in. That's interesting. It's gonna charge you. What the fuck? Sorry. I almost put Anubis in your cup! No, I think I will. I think I will. Oh no. Way to die. Put the mug over here. It's so fucking cool. I love that mug. What is-- Oh, Drew, this is-- No. No. Okay. And...

You feel yourself start to open up. It is very difficult. You feel a chamber that your hands are to open up as you fall in and all this flesh that's around you liquefies as you...

are gonna take some damage within this. - Sure. - And suddenly you feel yourself ejected as long with a bunch of horrible radiant slime bile and flesh spews out of its mouth. Felix, you are gonna get flung across the entire room along with the breath. - I'll take it. - As it flies in, you're gonna automatically take that damage. All of you need to make a dexterity saving throw. - Where? - That's a great mechanic, Mike. - Where did he get spit? - Probably all the way across to the-- - Past Xoha.

Yeah. Depends on how far the range is. It's 90. Then I'm like, I'm gonna hit the wall. Oh, if you hit the wall, then you're gonna take some extra damage, too. One, two, three, four. My poor fucking broken corpse. Oh, that's definitely, 90's definitely a wall. It's not canon. Yeah. So I'm just gonna roll it for everybody. Stop, that's too many. Oh, everybody's getting hit by it? So you have a DC 15 dexterity saving throw, and you'll take half of this. God.

- Fucking nightmare. - 20, 26. - I must succeed. - All of us are hit by it, is what you're saying? - All of you are getting hit by it. - Yeah, you just have to text check. It's a massive code. - I'm automatically boned. - Hot diggity, 18. - I got a 20.

- 20 succeeds. If you fail, you take 32 points of damage. So 32 half if you fail. - I don't get out of bed for less than 45. - What's the DC? - 15. - Okay. - I'm gonna use my reaction. You'll see this kind of spectral spirit come and try to block some of it and protect Felix as he hits the wall.

And reduce it by 13. And you slam into the wall, Fio, as you take some more bludgeoning damage. All right, so hold on. It'll be 13 minus whatever. So 32 plus whatever you save. 10 points of bludgeoning damage. So 42 minus 13. Okay, that's her turn. 42. My turn? Oh, my God. Let's see. Goes back to 29. I am going to... Oh, gosh, Felix, are you okay? And then I'm going to run at Fiona and say, Don't you know you're not supposed to play with your food?

and I will make two swinging spoon attacks.

29 plus 13 is 42. It's a 24 and a 13. 13 misses, 24 hits. Okay. So I'm going to roll a 1d6, and I'm going to spend a ki point to make this a stunning attack. Ooh, I love that. A stunning strike. Goes to d6. 7 plus 6, so 13 damage and a...

Oh, for fuck's sake. It is a DC 14. Con. Oh, I'm sorry. Yes, con saving throw, DC 14. Where's this girl's father? 17. He's being repeated. Okay. So you're not stunned, but you do take 13 damage. Okay. I thought he was dead. You smash into it. You get bad time. Okay, cool. With that, it is, and she gets her, what you call it, back, so she's gonna try to eat Lifty. Oh, okay.

Is that how that works? That is going to be a 22 to hit. That does hit. I'll make a strength saving throw for me as I roll the initial damage here. I'm piercing a necrotic here, but I think that it doesn't necessarily matter for you. 15. I think the DC, yeah. Okay. Do you succeed? I succeed. For strength? Okay, 10, 11.

17 points of damage. It chops you and it tries to absorb you, but you're able to resist it. Okay, I can freeze you out. - Well, that really fucked me. - You're not blind anymore, though. - No, I'm not. - That's huge. - I'll use my bonus action to thank Iris and give her inspiration. - Thanks.

- Probably. - How are you going to do that? - I say out loud, "Thank you Iris, I really, now I can see again." - That was very well thought. - Oh shit, what? You know what, I'm gonna continue to sing the same song and I'm gonna cast Slow again. So he needs to make a, she, the nightmare creature needs to make another wisdom saving throw, DC 17.

Outstanding. Can you sing a song? Yes, I will, as soon as I load. The problem is that my phone is too old, so it has to be like, I'm loading Google Docs. I can't do D&D Beyond at the same time. You had to load. It's a signal whistle or a pick for a mine. 20 caltrops you buy one at a time. It's potions that heal. It's potions that fizz. It's... Oh, wow, that...

Threw me off. It's a signet ring. Whatever that is. Can I get a spell scroll for 10% off and some discounted potions that I could cross? I just saved the town. Can I get a deal? What the fucking fuck? Are you fucking for real? That's the best part. Hey, we finished that. That's the pinnacle of the song. That's it. It uses its dark construction to...

Glow is legendary resistance. Okay. Would I trigger an opportunity attack if I ran away? Yes. No. Yes. Her range is 10. Oh.

- For the bite. - So yes. - I'll stay where I am. - Kels, you're the last person that we can play right. Literally. 'Cause you just make shit up. - Okay. - But I love the fact that in most cases, you're not Brenna, in most cases that she would have been right there and you knew that. - You picked the one tile. - I'm gonna bite Lufti. - With such conviction. - You're being bit, Lufti. - You're being bit.

I miss. I miss. It's good. Let's see. I thought she was a righty. Oh, it's layer actions turn, and I can't do my blobs again because I got instantly killed. I am going to... Suck a wiener, suck a wiener. Dr. Zayas, Dr. Zayas, Dr. Zayas. Dr. Poison. Dr. Poison. Can I play the piano anymore? But of course you can, but I couldn't before. Hit it.

- I hate every ape I see. - Okay. You see as all of the flesh that was spewed across the ground had all been sitting on the ground disgustingly. It then starts to slither and come to life and attempt to consume and restrain all of you. Everyone needs to make a...

- This is not Felix's. - A strength saving throw, DC 15. - Oh no. - As it attempts to consume you with the foods of flesh. - I fail. - Strength, but restrained. - Just hit it. - You were strength. - We can still cast spells. - Yeah. - That's all I need. - 18. - Strength, I would like to use a twist. - 15. - Success. - It's a strength saving throw? - Strength saving throw. - Well, I rolled a one, which means I got a one. Can I use a twist? - Yes. - Yes, please. - 15. - I fail. - Okay. - Not you.

- Not you. - Five, okay, I am whatever that is gonna happen to me. - So Felix and Caprice get restrained in this horrible fleshiness, but all of the silver radiating light does not seem to be within this flesh. You are just simply restrained until initiative round 20. - Yeah, I'm good. - Okay, with that, it is Felix's turn.

So as I'm vomited up, hit the wall, hit it on the floor, and then restrain.

Just like awful, awful, feeling like I'm having a bad day. I would like try to wipe my eyes and make sure that I could see a little bit, even if I can't move, I assume that I have a little bit of movement. I would say, I'm okay, Toa, get him! And I'm gonna cast haste on Toa. Let's fucking go! Okay, you are washed in silver light and you feel very fast. I hate to say you forgot to assign homework, but can you...

- I was looking and it doesn't say anything about... - As long as he moves his mouth, then it's fine. - Okay. - It does not say anything about not being able to use your hands. It just says your speed goes to zero, your disadvantage on attack saving throws, dexterity saving throws, and other things. It doesn't say anything about your limbs are stuck, like paralysis. - This helps me in Icebound, so thank you. - According to the rules.

- It is going to, as it's using two legendary actions, rear back, its jaws are gonna open, it's gonna let out a horrifying, disgusting howl that reverberates through the chamber. You see some, the statue of Mother Knight start, some crumbles start to fall off. - DT 15. - Uh oh. - Wisdom? - I don't think I hit it. - Oh dear. - What, wisdom? - Yeah. - Don't forget-- - Does a 27 count? - God damn it.

16. You're still inspired. Yeah, but does a 27 succeed? Can I twist? You may. Can I twist? Thank you, Molly. Yes. You may. Thank you, Shad. You may. I have it for a minute, right? Yes.

- You've got it for 10 rounds. - I will have it for the entirety of this thing. - Not you, not you, please. Fuck an ass. - Fuck an ass indeed. - Not fucking ass, fuck an ass. - Ew.

- That's my fucking ass. - You fucking shit, Harry. - I have her by right. - You are horrified. You drop whatever you're holding and you use your full movement, you use your reaction to sprint in the other direction. - Not me. - You creature. - I hold onto my dagger for once. - Five, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30. - That's what-- - So did everyone fail or is it just me and Iris who passed? - Oh, I can't do that. I'm restrained.

- Yeah. - You retreat, so no, you stay in place. - But you drop your shit. - You drop, yeah, your violin clatters to the ground next to you. - Did you fail? - I failed. - Okay, so you drop your spoon. - No, we all do it. - What? - Everyone does it. - Right now? - Yes. - I drop my spoon and what happens? - I drop my toad. - And you run your full movement away.

Oh, God. Let me double check haste. Let me double check haste, see if it gives you any kind of bullshit. This is my spoon. We're gonna do that right there. This is my spoon. This is my spoon. There may be many others like it. Bonus to AC, advantage on dex saving throws, additional action, action can be used only to attack, action dashes. Why am I so fast?

So when will they repeat this save? At the end of the next turn. So on the start of Toa's turn, well, we'll get there. At the end of his turn. So I'm curious what happens at the start and what he has to do. What am I hearing? So I have, I'm hasted right now. Do I go this way or do I just go straight away?

- I would say you try to get as far away from the beast. - Back up a gazool. - Yeah. - Oh, I would have been. - Okay. - This is a hard slate. - No, I can't stay in the first turn. - I'm gonna turn to Toa and I'm going to cast Lesser Restoration. - Let's go. - Okay. - You feel the courage of the Osirian. - Beautiful. - I will look between Toa and Felix.

Let your spell not be wasted. Anubis, I need you. And I will call down a pillar of golden sand around Toa and break his fear. Beautiful. It's an old snare.

"Staff, you're doing work." And then... That's what she said. Gross. What's that? Nose said that Caprice broke his g-string. I tried to run, but I'm covered in beasts of flesh. Looking around, how is everybody looking and feeling? I look banged up, but I'm not bad. You can see that I look...

I'm going to turn for... Am I? Am I going to do that? I'm not bleeding. Spiritual weapon is not concentration. That's great. Forgot about that. So I'm not concentrating on anything right now. I'm going to use my bonus action to cast Sanctuary on Caprice. Love that. That's a much better play. Thank you. I peed myself a little. Next person you go, she's out of legendary. That's going to be our boy, Tuck.

- Okay. - So you get an extra action, which you can use to dash if you need to. - I shouldn't need to, my speed's crazy as is. - Then just tee off on the fire. - So I'm just gonna make sure that I have all my dice in order here. And I'll just use this and this. - Give 'em a minute. - So that's gonna go to that set. This is gonna go here. - You have a few dice. - And then these two go to this.

So I'm going to-- AC is 17, just letting you know. I never understand what you're doing mechanically. 17. Fuck it. He's going to eat shit. I'm going to sprint and I'll look at a Felix and-- Oh, and my spiritual weapon is going to move the--

- At 15 feet it can move. - That's his-- - Towards the thing. - This is my totem. - Oh, well, I don't know where it-- Oh, actually, it had been right in front of Capri, so it could probably get to it. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's just right here. - Do you have something you'd like to use as your-- oh. - Isn't that a bonus action to move? - To hit it, it would be, but I used my bonus action, so it can move with this. - I'll go get you a spiritual weapon, one moment. - Thank you. - Here. - I'm gonna be-- it's gonna be me, 'cause that's my dice.

I am going to... Felix, I think you're okay, thank you! And I'm going to just sprint, and as I'm running by, I'm just gonna, like, I'm Naruto running, I'm gonna grab my totem off the ground as my free object interaction, and just sprint right up to this motherfucker right in front here, if I can. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, no, it is a bonus action, so, well... Oh, jeez. Ah!

You knocked over the light. Oh, I am so sorry. Can you move my spiritual weapon back? It's where it should be. So it's like right in front of you. No, the opposite side. If you could please put that tarp here, thank you. We gotta get a new umbrella for that bad boy. Man, I didn't even feel that. I am sorry. That's alright. No, when we get new... So I have lights that I want to get.

Oh, I've been shopping online for us. Uh, two of them hit. Okay. Uh...

So it is this one hits, and this one hits. So I hit twice, I proc'd Windfury, and that one would hit, and for a total of 89 damage. Nice. Totally. Whoa. No big deal. 89 damage. How long are you hasted? I'm

Until it breaks for ten rounds. Until he loses consciousness. So you're smashing in over and over as the flesh is sloughing off, and you see the pustules starting to regrow. And with that, it is its turn. And you see as there are lycanthropes attempting to run into this room, but as soon as they are hit by this light, they are immediately just paralyzed and in agony.

Was I allowed to repeat a saving throw for being restrained? Yes. Because I was the first person. Oh no, the restraint with the lair action, that will just be ended after this. Okay. Yeah, sorry. Cool, I just wanted to make sure I didn't miss a saving throw. Excuse me. Big Bad's turn. With that, she is going to... I'm using a d20. That's unfortunate. There's one literally right in front of you. One that's low.

She is going to bite onto a fence. And she's advantage. Oh, good. That's gonna be a 24. That's gonna be a 26. - You don't have your food. - I don't. - That's gonna be a natural 20. - No, it's not. I switched that out. - So three hits. - I give you your little baby back. - And I need to make three straight saving throws.

Strength saving. Easy. Oh, big money. I'm gonna roll all the piercing first. Well, that one's not great. That's just regular sized money. Piercings first. Can I use one twist? Yes. 17. 18. 23. 23 plus 21.

44. Actually, no, it is going to be. I'm more than 30 feet away. You're not. I am. I'm trying to count, and I can't count. You should be all right. You were here? Yeah. 44 points of piercing damage. That's close. No, so it's basically, so it's one and a half. I'm within half of that, so it's perfect. So 44 points of piercing damage, and then I'm going to roll the necrotic.

I rolled really terribly. Sweet. 6, 8, 12 points of necronomia. Fairly a flush for you. 44 points. So you are not swallowed with that Twist of Fate. Okay. I passed all my... That's her turn. Lifty, you're up. Okay. I am going to dash.

I'm going to dash all the way back to where I was standing. Um, and when I get there, I will leap over my spoon for this time. And, uh,

I take one Arbiter's. I'll get some. Yeah, I will. Flurry of blows. Flurry of blows. Fucking, you can just cut me off the camera. Everybody knows I'm dead over there. My fucking corpse is just like laying there. You're not having a good day. Yeah, so I will spend a T-point and so I will kind of cartwheel my way back over to Fiona and that wasn't very nice and then punch her. Do that.

It's like punching a deflated basketball. Natural 20. Balanced my natural 20. Gotta give it up. And 15, does that have? 15 does not have. Oh, fucking ducks. 17 is raised. That's fucking huge. Okay. Double the dice, double the dice. Is it Flurry of Blows from the extra strikes?

- Yes, attack one more time. - Yeah. - So you can always do a-- - One, two, three. - No, you should have four attacks. - Oh. - So every single attack you do, you can do two spoon attacks and a punch. - As a bonus action. - As a bonus action. - Yep. - Pickles broke the shell. - But with the dash.

I didn't, I just, I said dash, but I didn't actually dash. I'm very fast. Yeah, very fast. Monks are insane. That's really an important distinction. I know, I shouldn't have said that, but I did, so. I'm fast enough to run from my brawls. Spank me. For now. God, Turbad. Six.

- That's also triggering your lightning attack. - Your lightning you double as well. - Oh fuck me. - Yeah, you double all dice. - So 2d6, right? - Yeah, I 2d6'd it up. - It's been a while. - It has been. - Since I said I'm sorry. - Six and six is 12 plus five is 17 damage. - Okay.

- And is it an, what's my, to pick back up my weapon, is that an-- - Three object interaction. - Okay, so I will then pick up my-- - You can just grab it and you are punching it and it is, you're actually, you're sending your ki and it's blasting off the flesh. And this creature's starting to lose form and you can tell that this isn't an undead abomination.

and it looks at more and more as you're whittling it down. - Disgusting. - With that, it is, oh, but it can do a bite attack back at you because it has its things again, so it's going to do that. That is gonna be a 26 to hit. - Totally missed this. - Strength saving throw, please. - No. - This is necrotic and piercing that I'm doing.

Uh, ooh, 18. Oh, that succeeds. Uh, so you're just gonna take this and damage. Uh, that's going to be 11, 12, uh, 15. Uh,

21 points of damage as she chomps you. And with that is Christopher. - Okay, I will turn to seeing Lufti. You know, I'm restrained, so you don't get to enjoy the viola action, but I'll sing, ♪ Lufti's got a mug ♪ And then you'll enjoy some inspiration. - Thank you. - And-- - What is that, a D4? - D10. - D10?

immediately transition back into my song. I'm going to attempt to get the creature to dance with me. I know that it hates this song, but you know what? Even though I'm restrained by flesh, I'm like bouncing along as I sing and keeping eye contact with it. A-kit up

pouch, a pen, a sack, a ten-foot pole that won't fit in your pack. It's a block and tackle or a big iron pot, an arcane focus in the form of a rod. I don't need your job board that nobody reads. Just give me your shit and give it for cheap. I swear to the gods, I'll take over your mind. Do you really think you can run a store blind? And I will cast Otto's Irresistible Dance, or just Irresistible Dance. I don't know who Otto is. Fuck that guy. laughter

I'm sure there's gotta be some auto-de-cesto. There's gotta be an auto-de-cesto. You know, I could look it up. There might be, there might be. What does Irresistible Dance do? It will make it, it has to make, it doesn't make a save? Choose one creature you can see within range. The target becomes a comic dance in its place, shuffling and tapping its teeth and capering for the duration. Creatures that can't be charmed are immune to this spell. Wiz 17. Wiz 17.

Well, I have to use the last one. Make him do the Charleston. Okay. Oh, I thought it was out. Oh, well, whatever. Fuck it. All right. Well, whatever. It's worth it. Yeah, it is worth it. It is worth it. Especially as I'm going to incinerate her. And that'll be the conclusion of my turn. I can't move, so here it is. Okay. You sing that, and one last time, it does that. And with that...

It is going to, since you acted last, it's going to use a little reaction to chomp on you. It has to make a wisdom saving throw. Is it huge size? Yes. It fails. Okay. So that doesn't happen. You can choose a new target or lose the attacker's call. Oh, new target is going to be two.

And it's advantage. Oh, new target? That's going to be tough. That's going to be another natural 20. You just got to give it. Wow. Should I roll piercing first? I'll roll piercing first. That'll be 20 plus...

28? Oh, yeah, no, you can do that on Caprice. So Robin is right, because he cast a spell, it drops Sanctuary. Oh, really? So this crit is actually on Caprice. I didn't know that. Oofta! Um...

- But he wouldn't have been advantaged. - Correct, so I will say the first one that I rolled against the breeze did hit. So I'm gonna just do normal damage here. - That's legit. - Thanks, Soul Robin. - Thank you, Soul Robin. So that is, and so I'll just take these dice and do 11, 12, 15, 21 points of damage. And chop strength saving throw for me, DC 15.

- Oh, that's where I'm not a Viking. - Ten. - Ten, you are now absorbed into its flesh as you see Capris get completely consumed, as all of those tumors are gonna fall off again and go to attack all of you that are there. And so we're gonna get two on Lufty, two on everybody that's there.

Move your big hairy arms. And future no longer restrained. Yay! I'm still prone though. You're still prone, so it's still advantage. There are still two left. Two on everybody. Two on everybody. Everybody's there, I see.

- That's the advantage of the spiritual weapon. - It's a tapir. - I know! - So, one is gonna hit Felix. It's gonna go to 20. - It's an ocelot. - Yes, it is an ocelot. - Where? - Yeah, 24 and then an actual 20. And so they're going to sloop onto you as we're gonna do a little bit of damage here. So that is going to-- - You're rolling like fire, Mike. - I know. - Tell me when you're rolling on me.

For no reason at all. You're taking your Felix tonight. Oh wow, that's pretty good. Thank you. That's right. Uh, later.

- 20, 29. - I wanna make sure that you do these separately in case he goes down. - 35 points of damage. - Oh my gosh. - As you are unconscious, as they sloop onto you, and you see as they're being consumed. - Never stood a chance, I only got two turns. - With that, we're gonna get two on Iris. - Get 'em, Tua!

Sorry, Tela. That's bad for you, brother. With that, it's going to be... 17 on Iris, and then a 20... Wait, wait, wait. Both hit? Both hit. And there was a total of? 35. Okay. Only one of those. One of those hits. Okay, so I'm going to roll damage. That is going to be...

12 points of bludgeoning damage. You are now restrained. They're not gonna save after? No, since they hit your shield. And then, are they gonna hit on you too? Mm-hmm. That's gonna hit. And that's gonna miss, shockingly. Oh no, but you'll be restrained, so we'll see actually. Oh no, even though, no, even their damage regardless. And so I'm gonna do bludgeoning damage to you.

That is going to be 7 points of damage, and you're restrained. And then, Lufty, they're attacking you. Yes. That is going to be a 19 to hit. Okay. That hits. Okay, roll damage, and you're going to be restrained. Both. So I need to do it, restrain, and then I'll be banished. 13 points of bludgeoning damage, and then this one's a banished. And that's going to be a 19 to hit again. Fuck you. So that will happen. Okay.

Eight points of bludgeoning damage. Okay, with that... And I'm restrained? You're restrained, yep. You're all restrained. This is no good. Felix, death saving throw for me. Who knew this would be when it ends? Fail. Fail. And Felix, you see him getting consumed. Iris, you are up. I am going to use my bonus action to move my Logitech to...

what's-his-face, and whack him. The big one? Whackity-whack. Don't call it back. You go deeper. Whackity-whack. Don't call it back.

15 points of damage. 15 points of damage, swing into it. And then I'm going to use my action to cast Mass Cure Wounds. Because Felix is at zero, you just automatically take max healing. So that's 3d8 plus five max healing to you, and then everyone else I'll roll for. I'll take it. So how much is that? Eight, 16, 24, 29. 29, oh. That's huge. My brain is a commuter.

You did very well calculating that. You feel the warmth of a desert breeze as it washes over you. Felix, you come to consciousness. You all take the damage. Everyone else takes that 15. Toa, you are stunned, correct? 15? Yeah. Oh, that feels so good. No, I'm not stunned. Do I take it even though I'm inside of a creature? Thank you, Molly. Thank you, Molly. But it shouldn't... Let me read you what it says, because it's important. Can I be healed while in gulped, Mikey? Yep.

And just as I can't move or take actions, it doesn't say that I'm stunned. Oh, correct. You're not like, you don't get advantaged. You just like lose a turn. Right. That's all. Yeah, you basically lose your turn. Should we throw the twist in? Feels bad, man. Yeah, absolutely. Thank you so much. Thank you, Molly. Oh, what a peach. Thank you for the twist. Okay.

- It is looking rough, its eyes are pained. - Damn. - Its bones are starting to break out of its flesh as the flesh is sloughing off of it more and spreading, but somehow we grow it. - You added the plus five, right? The 3d8 plus five. - I did whatever-- - 29. - Was 29, I just did it. - Yep, yep.

Okay. With that, it is her turn. Well, Toa, you're just standing there exhausted, feeling the magic leave you. Damn, man. Let's see if she does not regain her breath. So she's just going to lean forward and bite Toa and Lifty for her attack.

- Both of us? - And Caprice, you're going to take some damage here real quick. She's not advantage anymore against me. Okay. You're gonna take this necrotic, actually not very much.

Oh wait, I'm restraining, yes she is. 12 points of necrotic damage to you as you are rotting away along with her. We're gonna get two, bring an advantage attack on Toa. On all of us, 'cause we're all restrained, right? Yep, yep, yep. Correct. That's gonna hit. Piercing first, 10 points of piercing damage, and then necrotic, four points of necrotic, Transi, you have to do it for me. Can I shake off my restraint at the end of my turn?

- You can roll for it. - Yeah, yeah. - Oh, rich, and roll for your restraint as well. - And what is it? - I have 15. - Is it a strength save? - Is it dex? - Strength. - Strength, oh, okay. - You gotta be close to that. - May I twist it? - Yes. - Because I can very easily. - Then it's lifting, and then warmup. - Thanks, Chad. - So I pass that, and then you roll for restraint as well. - Wait, what misses me? - Attack the earthling.

- And it's a melee attack? - Yes. - I would like to spend a ki point for my tip, what is it? Yeah, with my tipsy sway, I will roll out of the way here and it will attack. That was from Fiona, correct? - Yes. - Okay, it will attack number seven. - Okay. Battle chopper, she tears it up as you do that. - Does it die? - Yes.

Get fucked! With that... I pass both my saves. Okay, good. So I'm no longer restrained. And you took the damage, misses the other one. Oh no, it is a damage right now. No, it's not anymore because I'm not restrained. Okay.

- Oh, you can have that? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. - But I bet it's at the end of your turn. - He already went right before. - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. - So yeah, so no, okay, that is it. Okay, Lyft, you're up. You're still restrained though, right? - I am still restrained and I am going to... - Ending game time.

Maintain. I was talking about those. I thought you said reindeer. I thought you went reindeer games. I was like, what? Reindeer games. What does that mean? Use that move. Reindeer games. Oh, God. So having picked up my spoon now, I'm going to go ahead and go.

I'll strike out at Fiona and spit that out. You don't know where it's been. And I will make two attacks. Okay. Spoonie, spoonie, woonie attackies. Oh, and I am spending...

One will be, the first one will be disadvantage, and then I'll spend two key points to make the second one undi- not disadvantaged. Okay. Disadvantaged. So 16 to hit? Barely misses. Ugh, fuck me. Okay, and then the other one will be... Ugh, good god. You can still, uh, bonus action for your blows. Wait.

- For good motivation, attack anybody. - How many times can I use this? - Just the one time. Once you've cashed in on inspiration, you've cashed in. It's one time use in 10 minutes. - Can I use this on my first hit? - Yeah. - Okay. - Plus nine. - 16 plus nine. - That'll do it. - Okay. - That'll do it. - First one hits. - And that will be...

- Inspiration is hard to remember, man. - Yeah. - I gotta get better about that. - We have those tokens, right? - I bought them for everybody. - I just know that no one appreciates me. - That's true, but we do like those coins. It'll be nine damage. - Should've seen it coming.

You can mark it in D&D Beyond, but it's not very helpful to mark in D&D Beyond. I've already made an attack on her, and that is only the first time that I hit a target. Okay, so you already rolled the damage, then... I don't think that's per turn. No, no, it's per round. So basically, you roll a d6 at the beginning. The intention was per round, however it's worded, is I want to make sure that the... The idea is that you can't do every hit. You can do it once a round. Yes.

- The first time that you hit. - That seems busted, so thanks, mate. - Yeah, that's up. I mean, compared to everything else, yeah. - Well, considering I got hit three times with an average of 24 plus to hit. - So add five to that. - For 30 damage plus, lightning damage is fine, okay?

- Especially if you're fighting against a Frankenstein, lightning damage is perfect. - Three plus six was nine, plus five is 14. - I hit that guy for like 14 damage. - You over healed him, it was amazing. I was like, shit, he is under tuned and then you did that. - You smack into it with your spoon, and that's true? - Yeah. - Okay, she's gonna use a legendary action to chomp you. - I don't know. - That's gonna be a 21 to hit.

Strength saving throw for you, from your clears. Yeah, okay. Natural 20. Okay, so you're not getting any blood. You're gonna take a shit ton of damage. She can eat more than one person at a time? 25. 25 points of damage. Ouch. You are being consumed into this necrotic form. Consumed. Um...

I guess I'll continue to sing, even though I'm sounding muffled in the far away. Which I will wait to load, just one moment. I'm sorry about my phone. One second. I'm going to channel my bardly energy with this song. And from within her, this cacophonous explosion occurs and waves out from all directions. It's not Thunderwave, but we'll get there. Uh-oh.

A drum, a flute, a horn, a lute, some crossbow bolts or needles to shoot. It's a five copper piton, or is it said pitton? A vial of antidote in case you get bitten. Go right ahead, call the town guard. By the time they arrive, you'll be horribly scarred. I'm taking my stuff and I'm taking it free. Put down that axe, get away from me. So you're literally just harassing a shopkeeper. Yes. The entire song is about a hat.

- It tells a story. There's a nice little narrative in there. If you're paying attention, I cast Destructive Wave. - Nice. - How does that work? - Each creature that I choose within 30 feet must succeed on a constitution saving throw of DC 17 or take a large amount of damage and be knocked prone. A creature that succeeds takes half damage. - Come on, come on, come on. - Could you choose creatures you can't see? - That'll be at 16. - So it's just the one. - Just the one.

Okay, so it's just affecting her and not the globules? If seeing is a requirement, then I'm gonna be able to see. I didn't hear, I didn't read see. It's not that you see, so you can do it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, and I just know that I want the magic to avoid my friends. So this will be the thunder damage. That's five, nine, 13. Let's go! 18, and then I'll leave that, and then this will be the...

- Yep, that's five of necrotic damage. And that'll be 11, 17, 21, 22 of the necrotic variety. - Why do you get the extra? - Hmm? - Why is it both? - Because the spell is just 5d6 plus 5d6 radiant or necrotic. And I chose necrotic because she's been radiating out of the ass. - That's amazing. I had no idea.

You see as this, a massive burst of energy, and she bulges out disgustingly. And she's gonna make a constitution saving throw to see if she can keep you in, and she cannot, as Caprice is puked up next to you, next to Lufti. Not even puked up, it just rips out of the side of this-- Oh man, Elise! You are ejected, and you're covered in just disgusting flesh and blood. Hey, Lufti, hi, Toa, take an inspiration.

- Okay. - Just toe up. - As that happens, as she sees that you've fallen out, this abomination is gonna try to swallow you back up again, and the last legendary action. And I fail. - Just like when people do that spit grip. - And with that is a layer action, as all of the globules are going to-- - Which globules died?

Oh yeah, how did you do? These three. And also blast out and the chronic shoots out and consumes the tumors. That does good work. And so we're going to do their advantage on Felix now. Yes, they are. Oh dear. No, no, it's a vicious cycle. I believe it's called a death spiral. 17. And it's a shield. Okay. A gas shield. Finally, for once. Finally. And I got a double two. So, uh...

They both miss. Alright. As they miss you, uh, these love to roll, they don't roll natural ones, but they roll a lot of twos. And who else? Iris. Iris. Just straight, right? Yeah. Uh, one is going to be... Are you restrained still? No, you broke out. No, I broke out. Okay. Um, one is going to miss, and the other's going to be 22 to hit.

Yeah, my 22 does that. Okay, so this is a bludgeoning. Was I supposed to roll at the end of my turn to Restrain? Yes. Strength? Seven. 50 higher. Got it. Ten points of bludgeoning damage and you're Restrained. Okay, with that, oh, and then it is going to...

- You see as the pustules, as it's very, it's weakening, it is trying to maintain its form, all of this strange, horrible silvery growth blast out through the room and completely flood it with this horrible silver light. I need everyone to make a constitution saving throw for me. - Sweet lord. - On you say. - DC 15. - I don't think I hit it. - Crushed it. - 18.

Oh no, I got 17. We're good. I'm using my inspiration, thank god. I got a 16. I fail. I have an 8. Twist it. It's the same disgusting thing, the pus in your eyes.

As you land, you're covered in flesh and now you're blinded by the silvery globules. Ah, fuck! With that, it's Felix's turn. What do you get for singing my fucking over that shrubber? I would use half my Moonsand up. And then, this thing doesn't look good. I'm going to use my Ring of Spellstoring to cast Immolation. It's nine feet.

So I need you to make a dex 17 saving throw. Wow. Dex, you say? Yep. Not enough. Not enough. So it's going to take 8d6 and then on... It burns, right? Yes, it does. Fucking love that. Which we'll get there. That's pretty good. Wow. That's a very medium money. 20, 32 plus 5 is 37. 37 points of fire damage.

And it's now on fire. And it's on fire. How would you like to do this? Oh, wow. Um...

I would say that like, as I'm like batting these creatures off and I'm covered in disgusting mucus and whatever the hell I've been digested, I'm gonna stand up, get on one knee, and I'm gonna look at it and I'm gonna say, "No more!" And I'm gonna snap my fingers and then flames will start to lick up around it as it will be consumed in flames. And unfortunately, for whomever may have cared about this creature, if immolation kills it, it's reduced to dust.

- Got it. - Roger that. - So the flames consume it, the flames vanish, and then as a small breeze begins to blow, the particles just kind of move away and there's nothing left.

You do that, and as soon as you reach out, it lets out this horrible, disgusting, good old, but deeply pained howl. As its entire body is consumed in flames, the smell is disgusting, and you hear its pustules popping as silver light is blasting through the flame, and as it starts to consume, you see that it finally loses its shape. The undead abomination before you is completely consumed in flame as it

as it eats away all of the ruined, putrid flesh, as even its cracking bones are completely incinerated, as there's nothing left but a pile of ash that settles on the cavern floor. I will immediately rush the pile of dust. Felix, how could you do this? It was a child!

And I'm going to begin to start channeling channel divinity. And I'm going to appeal to Anubis to bring back this girl for her father. Caprice is blind, so he saw none of this. So he continues to sing. It's a fresh new robe or some common clothes. It's a jug or a pitcher. Caprice, shut up! Did we get it? Should we loot the body?

And yeah, I'm going to appeal to Anubis and use Divine Intervention to try and bring her back, even if it's just the lifeless body to at least give him something to be able to bury and to mourn. Okay. And I guess I have to roll a d100. You roll a d100? Really, really, really low. Let's use Divine Intervention. Oh boy. It won't, but I'm sure going to try. I'm looking for my level, which is 12 or lower on a d100. All right.

No. Damn. How do you do that? You like look at the one that's two digits and add the one that's two digits. Oh yeah, that's 65. Oh. Nice. So I would need this and basically anything or one. That happened so rarely. I didn't know how to do this. And I will look down as the sands begin to settle and I will just begin beeping over the dust. You cry out to the power of Anubis. You beg him.

to aid you to transform this pile of ash into a restored, living version of Fiona as you saw her, or at least presumed she was living when she was brought in into that catatonic state. And you cry out to Anubis, and while you feel his presence, you know that he is locked in some sort of conflict presently.

And after a moment of silence, as the cacophony of the sounds of battle finally die down in this echoing nightbane cavern, the pile of ash rains. You see through the cavern all of the lycanthropes, men, women, children, who had been horribly agonized by this radiating horrible silver light is there again.

Still, they just collapse to the ground exhausted in pain, but they are alive. But you see humans there, some wolves there, some hybrid lichen throats around. It seems they've been constantly shifting them to all of their different forms in a horrible sense of petrifying, paralyzing agony. And now, finally...

the lead of that pain. I'm gonna pull a canopic jar out of my pack because I'm just assuming with your permission that I can. And I will begin to start putting the remaining ash into the jar. It's an Anubis headed canopic jar. You're able to, I would say if you take the next 10 minutes, then we'll say that for the 10 minutes you see that everyone is basically passed out unconscious from the pain. You see...

the different tunnels now that you have a sense, you're no longer being escorted, you're not, you're free to yourselves now, alone, consciously, so to speak. And you see that the tunnels go off deep into the earth in all directions.

and you wonder how far they go. You think about the mysterious goods that have been stolen from beneath the valley, or from the Valley of Erovia that seemed impossible. You wonder if, unchecked, how many of these fleshy pustules could have spread and grown and continued to multiply. - I'd go over. - Felix, are you okay? - I would just be leaning with my back up against the wall.

I'm fine. I... I know that that's not what you wanted to do and if you had any other way, you wouldn't have done that the way that you did, but I don't blame you. And Iris won't either. She's just upset. I overdid it. I didn't mean to. You were dying. You were getting hit from all sides and these things were disgusting. I don't blame you. I thought we were all dying. I don't think that there was any little girl left.

I think had you not done that, it would have been a pile of goopy wolf. There at least would have been something for her father to bury. And now there is nothing. I think this is better than a horrific, grotesque... That is not up to you to decide. It should have been up to the father. It is not Felix's fault. He could not have known. But maybe it would be better that it's ash, it's dust instead of the distorted body. It is not better that we did it.

No, she's right. Iris is right. I... They could have chosen to burn the body. They could have chosen to bring it to Ash. That was not our choice to make. This is my fault. There's a lot of power here and I can't always control it. I made a mistake. I'm willing to own up to it. This wouldn't be the first time. But I've said it many times. I am but a farrier of the dead. It is not up to me to decide who lives and dies. It is up to Anubis. It is chosen that it is her time.

I cannot argue with that, as much as it pains me to do so. "We should make sure that everyone's okay. I mean, they're all alive, it seems." And I'll look around at all the wolves. You'll see, and it's that tunnel off to the side that opens up into that broad main, or one of the central chambers in Nightbane Cavern that make, effectively, a city here. And you see that there are, that there's bodies all over the ground.

this horrible silver light. You have no idea, not being like in Throat of Cells, how it could have felt. But they're moving, they're groaning, they're moving around. Some are starting to eventually get up. And... Do we know their last names? If they had any last names of these people, like Fiona's last name. So you know that Fiona's last name was Silver Pine. So you know that Ivar and Fiona were Silver Pine and this is their pack. Or it's Ivar's pack. Once I was...

finished filling the Canopic jar, there's a small cartouche-like spot at the bottom and I would use one of my claws to, in ancient Secession, write out the symbols for Fiona Silverpond. You're able to do that very easily.

I'll have to change the music. Do we see Ivar anywhere? So, you look around as I am going to... Can we get eyes on Ivar? You look around and you actually see that Ivar had pulled himself behind that natural rock formation that stands like a throne. And he's, for the sake of it, he basically pulled himself into this little hook. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

- He's in a nook. - So it's as if they were trying to hide from the light. - So he was trying to hide from the light and you get the sense, but it was still bouncing off and still hitting him, but he was able to, 'cause I'm a hack DM, he was able to avoid all the AOA. - Same.

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As you all stare down at the pile of ash of the monstrosity that was this poor young girl, Fiona, as her mournful father is just 30 feet away, you all level up! - Yes! - I wonder what spell I'll take! - We're level 13! - Oh my gosh! - That's the same age as the girl who just died! - I have a knife!

That was so fucked up. Mature's dream. I am such a hack player, but I am taking this. Oh, God. It's okay, Nikki. I love level seven. I'm a hack DM and a hack player. I was telling Mike that I have, like, half my spellbook I've never even used, because it's like, there's so many obscure bullshit things that, like, well, it might happen, and then it never does. So...

- So take whatever your heart's content. - Oh, I am and I can't wait to use it. - You hear the groaning of, as the Nightbane Cavern is starting to rally a little bit. What do you do?

I don't know, I feel bad about my choices. Is he coming too? You see, as you see, you hear him groaning, and you see kind of the shape from beyond this large... I'm going to, with the canopic jar in my hand, I'm going to move immediately towards him.

And as I get to him, does he seem wounded or just like... No, he's basically just zapped and completely exhausted. Like, it was just completely paralyzing. And he seems to be sick a little bit, but not, I would just say for the sake of it, not anything that needs immediate attention. Okay. I could, though... Yeah. Um...

I'll walk towards him and... I could get into some trouble, but whatever. I'm going to use a 5th level spell slot. I'm going to cast Greater Restoration on him so that he feels...

He feels full, he feels, you know, some of the weakness and all of that goes away from him. I'll say... As I know he's going to need it for the news that I bring. That happens. And as you see, you see Ivar. He is in his human form. His large mutton chops, black or dark gray with streaks of light gray. As he's just... Dude. What...

and you manage to cast a Greater Restoration, and soon as you do that, he kind of shimmers with this golden light, and his eyes open wide, and he takes a deep breath as he sits up, and he blinks, and he looks up at you. He almost looks bewildered, as if he can't believe what's just happened, and he looks and says, What the fuck happened? What do you feel? I need you to calm yourself. I did not restore your strength for you to act out emotionally.

You are going to need all your physical and emotional strength you can get. But you were tricked by the elves. They sent your daughter back. She was not alive when she entered this room. She had the stench of undeath about her. If it had not been Felix, we might all have perished in this room. But in doing so, you introduced your daughter to Ash. And I'm going to hold up the canopic jar. I've acquired her remains. And I provide you with this. Though I know it cannot...

And never will be able to fill the hole in your heart for the loss that you have sustained this day. If there had been any way, any at all, I promise you when I reach out and I'm going to, like, grab him by the shoulder, I would have used all the power of my god to bring your daughter back to you. I need to make a quick check of the damage. Get some. I'm going to use my Anubis dice for the first time. Thank you, nose. Ahem.

We both wrote the exact same number and it's not good. Oh, the first roll. He said persuasion. 14. God, these are so cool. As you speak to him, he lifts himself up

He has the leathers of a hunter, and he just scrapes against the side of this natural rock formation that he has made his throne as he leans back. He just listens without a word, and his eyes are very distant. He just stares at the stone ground as you speak to him, and he doesn't look at you.

As you finish, he continues to look at the stone ground and he says, That fucking thing wasn't my daughter. No, it was not. And if you will it, I could damper your emotions. But if you want my opinion, I think you need to feel them. I'm going to be honest with you, kitty cat. As soon as she was taken by those fucking vultures, I knew, I knew deep down, I was never going to see her again. But you found hope, because you were a leader of people, and a good one.

And you did what you had to. You know what I fucking did. Yes, I do. Because I couldn't fucking accept it. You know what I did. I do. And I do not judge you for it. For if I had been in your position, and any of those that I love, you see them here in this room. My friends, my family. If I had been in your position, I would have made the same choice. The choice you have before you is to fight.

is to join up with those that you might deem your enemy, make amends, and create a font of power far stronger than what they would expect of you. To temper your rage, temper your hate, put past squabbles behind you and be a leader. For Fiona, do not let what they have done to her, do not let that be in vain. And trust, I hope, that you believe me when I say we would have done anything we could have to bring her back to you all.

And though we cannot, we will do everything that we can to avenge her and all of those that have been taken. Make him spend a good advantage for me. Nose, do not let me down. Don't fuck me, Nose. Don't fuck me, Nose. It's not early, it's your fault. Oh, it did. Oh, that dice rolled beautifully. You said persuasion? Yep. 22. Wait, is that? Yes, 22. He still does not meet your gaze.

As he slowly stands up, he places his hand against the

What is it, stalactite or mite? Mites go up, tites go down. So mite, stalactite, I knew that. Mite for ceiling. Mites go up and tites go down. Stan puts his arm against, his hand against the stalactite. Stalag is ground. Stalag mite, stalactite. So mites go up, tites go down. So, yes, so C and G. That's how I always knew it. Yes, stalactites.

has a C for sealant. - Your tights also. - No, that's what I'm trying to tell Kelty. - We're in agreement. - Yes, I'm not arguing with you. - I think we're on the same page. - Can you please stop trying to loot the ash? - What happens in the world of Vantress? - There's no fourfold source, guys. - He places his hand on the stalagmite as he steadies himself as he looks at the canopic jar and he just grabs it from you and he says,

Ivar Silverpine, who never let go of hate, anger and rage. That's mostly what I fucking am. But I am more than fucking happy to direct it. Those fucking knife ears. Those fucking vultures. Trick me to do terrible fucking things. I understand that it's a fucking cliché.

Enemy of my enemy is my friend. But I don't even have enough room in my heart or my soul to give a fuck about those feathers anymore. I'll let them do what they do in their little mansions with their taroka cards and spirit boards and all of the strange occult bullshit they do. If they pledge to stop interfering with our pack. Let us hunt where we need to.

then there can be a truce amongst the lycanthropes and the humans of Barovia. We just want to survive. We just want to live. And you should be allowed to do that. I believe if you will accompany us, we can arrange for some kind of truce. You think they're not going to cut off my fucking head the second I show my face? I would like to see them try. You are under my protection. They raise their arm against you. They raise their arm against me as well.

and I will make sure they know it. I cannot speak for my friends, but I hope, and I'll look between all of you, that we are in agreement on this. - Yeah, well, she's my BFF, so if they try to hurt her, I will help. - All right, all right. - I got you. - As he finally turns-- - I love you. - He finally turns and looks at you. As he looks down then at the canopic jar in his hand, he takes his hand and he looks at the pile of ash inside.

He places it back on her arm. And he holds it, he puts it, uh, hands it out to you. I appreciate the gesture. That wasn't my little girl. These ashes are of a fucking abomination. I'll take it from him. If you want to do whatever burial rites that you people do, that's between you and your god. But I thank you. I thank you as well. And you can see that he's very shaken.

but there's a level of raw willpower reigning him in where you get the sense of, you get the sense of probably why he's a good leader, especially for a pack of lycanthropes, where you can feel his spite and hatred radiating inside of him. But you can see now that it is confined and focused and driven as he lets out another breath

And he says, as much as I want to, I don't have fucking time to grieve. My people need my help and I'm going to help them. Make sure everyone's okay. Just keep distributing the food that you provided for us. And I thank you again for that. And the more you want to create, the more we will take. Take this. And he reaches into, to his side and he pulls out

A large iron key. Flips it around and hands it to you. A figure? Your monster hunter is in the cells in the far end of the cavern. She's yours to do what you will. She will not be happy. Well, I can fix that. Whether she likes it or not. Good luck. Her trinkets are just in the cell next door. She can have them. We'll give them to Toa, if you don't mind.

At least until we know she will not turn them against us. It's not you I'm worried about. And she has every right to use her little whip on me, but... Until I see Castle Gloomvale burned to the fucking ground and the head of the carrion king on a fucking pike, there's no time for that. No, there's not, but we should take the evening. Don't you think?

Feed these people. Allow them one night of rest. And then head out in the morning. Whatever we can do to help. What time is it? I don't remember. Like mid- It's like midday. I would say with everything that's been going on, it's probably approaching dusk. I would say. It's, you know, either dusk or towards evening. If you think we have the time to spare, I know that there's lots of bad stuff happening. Yes, there is. But we have to...

We have an entire evening's worth of at least talking to this monster hunter and convincing them to essentially align and walk side by side with Ivar. We cannot do that in 30 minutes and an hour. And I'm exhausted physically and mentally. I would like a night's rest. Well, either way, we should let... ...Sofiana out of her cell. Yes, we should. But we must be prepared to...

shackle her, if need be. Hopefully we don't have to do anything there unpleasant. No, I completely agree. I'm sure she's had a horrible time being caged up. But we don't have the time for her to be emotional. I think between the both of us, we'll be able to guide her in the right direction. That is my hope. I can at least dampen her feelings and hopefully you can do whatever it is you do as long as you don't turn her mind to mush.

No promises. She's free to leave. She doesn't have to stick around. I'm going to go tend to my people. Thank you. You can have whatever we have. There's not much. I can't... We don't need what you have. You need what you have. And I will use another spell slot to create more food. Hey-o. As he walks past, as he looks at the remnants of this, and he says...

We were incredibly lucky, and it looks like the Barobians are lucky, too, that you were here. That thing would have been unstoppable otherwise. And he turns as he walks away from his throne room, and he looks up at the statue of Mother Night, and he spits on the ground, and then continues to

go deeper into the Nightbane Cavern and tend to his people. You see him lifting up some of the guards and some of the other folks that you had seen as they started then tending to the children, passing out food, making sure that everyone's okay. You're all able to gather and congregate alone in this chamber. And you have the iron key that goes to the cells. He's not wrong. Old Scratch is telling the truth day to day.

These people would have been obliterated if we hadn't been here. Yes, I know. And we were not faring so well against that entity. That creature. No, that was some serious biz. We're dealing with some devious and powerful foes. And I think that he was right. I have questioned Anubis' choice not to allow a child to return, but that thing was not his daughter. Does Caprice know that

About the struggle that your god's going through right now? I don't think that he does. I've basically explained everything I know, but we don't really know what's going on with him. Just that it's become harder and harder to communicate with him. Griselda's nod and looks serious. Well, they're food. Water. Not good food, but it's not bloody at least. We should go talk to the monster hunter.

I think it was just back that way. Yes. You have her things. I think her things are back there, too. No, he said they were in the other direction over there in the corner. Oh. I go and get her things. They were the cell next to hers. Oh. Great. Oh, well, let's just go to both cells and then we'll... This is really unnecessary to be talking about. You make your way through Nightwing Caverns.

And you see that the werewolves are recovering slowly. There were no casualties, it seems. Some people are still very ill.

and sick and some wave at you, you see that same small child that had peeked at you from behind their mother and they give you a wave as there's appreciation there. Especially, honestly, less so from saving them from a horrible undead flesh abomination, but more so of all of the bread, all of the food that has been provided.

And they're tearing into it like wild animals. As you make your way through, no one tries to stop you anymore. You see that there are several guards stationed in the one chamber of this cavern that houses the cells. But you see that they get a little impatient and they just go and just say, "Fuck it," and run off to get some food.

and they leave you. As you see that there's this very small chamber with several portions that have been carved into very clearly by some pretty crude implements, just some basic pickaxes probably, with iron bars and some makeshift gates.

built into them, and you see one side, there's several shelves of contraband, and you see, as you walk past it, you see that there is what looks like a gleaming, brilliant chain whip of some kind with a spiked ball at the end. You see several silver axes

and you see a full bandolier completely filled with silver knives and you see a very large symbol. It seems to be silvered and bladed but it's circular and with a sun design and a red gem in the middle. It's pretty large and you see several vials and bottles all in this one shelf and as you...

as you make your way to the other, uh, to the, to the cell at the end beside it, you see a human woman. She has, um, she has, uh, uh,

this coarse dark hair, and she looks up at you with these piercing dark eyes as soon as you walk into view. Despite her being in the cell for who knows how long, it's been several days it seems,

she has just this energy to her. She seems to have actually been relatively well fed, despite the state of the people in this cavern that you've seen. And she's wearing...

She's wearing a leather armor and they seem to have just removed her weapons and thrown her into this cell. There's no... Her hands and her feet are not bound as she's sitting on a wooden stool and you see there's a small table where there's some crumbs of a meal and a wooden cup as this very clearly Vistani woman

looks up at you and she seems to, her eyes are filled with venom and hatred as she snaps to look at your direction. And then she has a sudden moment of realization and surprise as five non-werewolves show up to face her. - What are these?

Hello there. My name is Capriccio De Sesto. You can call me Caprice. I believe you to be Sofiana. Is that correct? Yes, it is. Are you here to kill me? No. No, we're not. I imagine that comes as something of a relief, but we are not here to... Did they catch you, Rito? No, no, no. We're, uh...

We've made allies, friends of sorts. Yeah. With the wolves, werewolves who have captured you. See how we're on the outside and you're on the inside? We're here to talk to you and sort of come to an understanding in the ways of what's going on and give you a little context of how things have changed over the last 24 hours and we'll eventually get you out of that cell. She surveys all of you. We were sent here by...

Von Zorovich? Is that his name? Yes, Alexei. We were sent here by Alexei to procure you. And we have done so. The Count has made an alliance with these beasts. No, not yet. After everything they've done. No, not yet. But we hope so soon.

You have to understand that we, uh, I don't know if you can hear from yourself, but there is a terrible catastrophe. Yeah, a kerfuffle. A kerfuffle of sorts. I think it was worse than a kerfuffle. I'm a toy. That's a pretty mild word. Well, I guess it depends on what the definition of a kerfuffle is. I think it depends on where you come from. Ignore my friends. The point is that we were...

These werewolves have been doing, uh, wrong. They've been doing bad things without a doubt. They've been kidnapping our children. They've been doing so with, uh, misinformation. They've been guided to take those actions. They're starving. These are not intrinsically evil creatures. These are people like yourself and like me. They are trying their best to survive and to live their own lives and, uh,

When we finally got a chance to talk to Old Scratch, Ivar, if you know him, he... Old Scratch. That's his name.

That he's just named. He's not Young Scratch anymore. Fuck. There's just something about the way he describes things that's just inherently comical. I just can't. I can't get behind this. Keep going. It's just there. You have a very serious conversation with Ivar and you like caprice talk to fucking Sofiana. This is what happens. I don't think I asked you to.

Anyways. We just haven't figured out how to stop you yet. No, I'm just kidding. Where was I? Old Scratch. Old Scratch. We were just starting to get into his good graces to try and make sure that no more bad acts would happen. And then all of a sudden there was something of a deception. His daughter, who had been missing for a long time, arrived and transformed into a nightmare monstrosity that we had to burn down.

And it would have killed all the werewolves and left you to starve to death in the cell had we not intervened and been able to take care of the creature. They're still recovering. And we're here to talk to you and get a sense of where you're at. And ultimately, we're here to get you out of the cell. Very specific. That's true. Ooh. Oh! Nobody else. If anybody's going to do it, I should say, it's...

- Oh, Capricci. - It's old Capriccio. - Capriccio. - Capriccio. - Capriccio. - That's what you can call me, Capricci. - Hey! - Gabagool. -

I rolled a two, so that'll be an 18. My man. Are you shitting me? Good old bar vibes. And she thinks for a moment, and there is true venom and hatred. You actually see that the venom and hatred in her eyes is not dissimilar to what you saw in Ivar's. Two sides of the coin. As she looks at you and says, Sorry. So, what happened...

to his daughter is what happened to mine. I will look towards her and say, before you finish that thought, had the elves taken your daughter and told you they would return her in exchange for his, would you have done it? I need persuasion check. Got her. Damn. Fucking got her. Holy cow. Got her in the DM. That's the smile of a nice dice roll. 28. Oh no, persuasion, you said. Um...

26. Oh no, that's terrible. Poultry. How dare you. We were useless. Iris was just owning this entire cavern. When you get trapped in a logic trap by a player, she pauses and she thinks for a split second and then she looks, snaps her eyes to you and she says, Without hesitation.

And that is what he's done. They took his child. They took her. And they said they would give her back if they procured children for them. And so he did it. Same as you would. Same as any of us in this room would have done. The difference is, he had to watch his daughter turn to ash in front of his face. You were saved at sight.

You do not have to live with the memories of your child being turned into a horrific monstrosity. He has paid for what he has done. Now is not the time for petty squabbles. Because these, what has transpired cannot be undone. But what can be done is a fight for vengeance. A fight for justice.

He has given us this key willingly, knowing that you may make your way into that room while he is in pain, in agony and in grief over the loss of his daughter. And you could. I would stop you, or at least try. But I hope that I will not have to. I hope that somewhere in your heart there is an understanding that we would all have done the same. And I will walk towards the cage and I will unlock it. And with that, he has granted your freedom.

She stands up the second that you open the door, and she narrows her eyes and says, "These are godless beasts, but if the Mourning Lord wills me to be here, and wills you to be here, then he must wish his divine fire to burn those that have done this to me, to us, and to these godless beasts.

with their goat and the abomination that they serve. Are you of godness? No, far from it. Then you will know what justice I wish to bring. Yes. And tonight I will pray for the ones you have lost and hope that my god will watch over them in death. And I will pray for my Valeska. If there is any mercy in his morning light, then she will not survive the journey.

I don't like her. She, uh...

She steps past you and she sees all of her effects in the next chamber and she extends her hand, expectant of the king. I'll pass it to her. She does it and immediately unlocks the door, flings it open, and you see her immediately, she takes the two axes, puts them at her side, she grabs the whip, she coils it up and puts it, and she puts on the bandolier of blades, and you see there's all sorts of leather straps that she starts tying the

these vials and bottles too, and they all just seem to be with this, they look like water, it just looks like water. And then she grabs that circular disc with the sun design, and she grabs it and sticks it kind of on her lower back in a sheath, and her whole outfit seems to have been made to really just accommodate all of the effects that she has, all of these weapons.

And she does it lightning fast, as she then turns to all of you and says, I'm going to go home. I'm going to see my family. I will not bring my whip to any of these beasts, but I am not going to break bread with them. We would not ask you to, but I will ask one more thing. Yes? We will be bringing Ivar to meet with...

Lord. Count. Count. Count Bonzarevich. And our hope is that there will be some sort of truth. These monsters, as you call them, simply want to live in peace. They want a land that is their own and theirs alone. For them to hunt. Not on you, but on the animals that live within. They simply want to live. And I hope that should Count Bonzarevich agree to such terms.

that you would respect that and you would leave them to whatever peace they can find she stops as soon as you mention she's you can tell that she's just moving and just moving past you getting ready to do that as soon as you mention uh count von zar but she stops and she listens to you and then she just nods not really turning back but then she says alexi used to be filled with the fire of a true believer in the morning lord it's gotten soft as he has aged

I'm sure Ivar will get everything he wants from me. This is not about being soft. This is about greater evil. You didn't see the creature that we just fought. They're some evil fucks. We're all aligned. That is why I'm going to leave. I'm going to go home to the camp. I will not raise my weapons against these beasts. And as long as our common goal is to bring about the destruction of Zargosah,

and the Carian King in Castle Gloomvale. Then, for a time, we will walk side by side. And as much as I disagree with Alexei these days, I will

follow what he commands. And she just walks and leaves you behind. And you see that there's this lycanthrope, one of the guards, that has great big bushy beard and just crumbs are all in it. And he's completely just wolfing down this loaf of bread. And he gets a little scared as she steps past completely confidently, and he just

finishes eating and watches her leave, and you see her, you hear her boot falls on the stone floor of this cavern, Echo, as she leaves Nightbane Cavern. All right. She was very intense.

I thought about telling her about this book I read as a young girl. It was, I believe it was called Twilight, and it was about vampires and werewolves, and they joined together to defeat evil foe. Oh. And they were only successful because they chose to join together. I've only seen the first one. Seen? Oh, yes, Mitch Image. Oh, no, no, no, there was a play version.

Lovely. I never saw it. It never came to Skat. Oh, well, you'll have to tell me how it ends. Spoilers. Yes, there was a strange, quickly growing baby. Made me quite uncomfortable. Really? Yes. That seems like quite a turn. Anyways. It was. Uh, he...

I'm glad that she didn't want to cause any violence. That was, I was a little worried when we just sort of let her take her things. Yeah, well, you know, I don't really trust her. She said, well, I won't cause violence now, but then, like, I don't know. She's kind of just like, well, maybe later, who knows? She's not our concern. I mean, things kind of turned out the best we could have hoped for, given the circumstances.

I know she has a kid, but do we know who the potential husband or father was? Is? No, if she's available, I would suggest that we introduce her to, uh, Ravioli. Uh, they seem like they get- Are you trying to play matchmaker? Currently in this moment. It just occurred to me while we were talking. You did a fantastic job, by the way. That went about as well as I could have expected, or hoped. I can feel her pain. I can feel both of their pain.

I thought of little Thomas back in Siket. Though he was not mine, he is mine now. Um, well, I mean, here's the thing. I think he's sort of doing his own thing, and we don't need to, you know, bring him back into all of this. Yeah, no, I, you know, once all this blows over and we've taken care of the Chained God and what have you, I figure, you know, that's when we'll be able to all settle down and get to know each other and...

Find some peace, happiness, family. That would be nice. That sounds terribly boring. I want it very much. Peace and quiet. I could use a little boring. As could I, Caprice. That is one of the wisest things you've ever said. I've been feeling a little wiser, to be completely honest. Felix, how are you feeling? Yeah, I'm fine. I'm alright. You saved me, and I'm okay. I'll be a little sore tomorrow, but...

I'll come around. I meant your heart, with what happened to the small one. And then all of the horrible mental abuse that you inflicted upon him afterwards. But I didn't. Oh. Yeah, so just what you did then. It's fine. You'd think it gets easier, but it doesn't. I just wanted to make sure everyone was safe. You're very strong. And you said something to me that I... If I can be frank, I feel to be false.

You've said there is power within you that you are not strong enough to control. You are far stronger than you believe. And I think that... I think we are lucky to have you. Very lucky. For though my heart hurt for him in that moment, without you, I don't think any of us would be standing here now. You made the right choice. And Anubis agrees. Well, thank you. I appreciate it. I just... And I think Lufty was right, too. I think it was better that...

What? I wasn't doing anything. What? What?

Caprice, what could be a soul for you? I whipped my tail back and forth. I whipped my tail back and forth. Did she give back the iron key? I've accidentally locked myself in this thing. LAUGHTER

Oh, do I have to think she did? No, she did not. We'll never forget you. Well, it's the end of the road for all Caprice. Well, I mean, if we just, you know, take a short eight hour nap, I can just, and we'll have it open in no time. Do we need to do more this evening? I hope not. I'm really hungry. I'm really tired. Well, though Anubis could not do much for the girl,

Damn. I love it. In the far... In the very center, there's a...

a small waterfall and a beautiful sparkling pool with a limestone walkway that is flanked by essentially sphinx that look like Anubis. Or actually we'll just do Anubis in his hunched form as they essentially guard the walkway that leads to a beautiful golden temple. Behind it in the shifting sands, just almost a silhouette are three large pyramids.

Caprice looks back at the entry to his magnificent mansion and is like, ah, fuck. I didn't take that. That's why I said I'm a hack. I'm like, ooh, I have a cleric's magnificent mansion. That's happening. We leave Caprice until the next morning when Felix can prepare knock and get him out. Guys? There is literally no way that Iris would have the ability to live in a beautiful palace every single night and wouldn't take it. Obviously. And so...

physically build the temple? I think it physically builds the temple, doesn't it? I'm pretty sure it works just like negative energy. No, I think that literally a pyramid will explode into this cavern, killing ourselves and every single one. I will tell you what it does right now. Because I know what Bargrim had it. I literally built like... Yes, no, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We have to go outside. We'll send you guys to a...

- Oh, fuck! - Oh yeah, we gotta go online. - I'm watching from behind the bars of the cell. - No, guys, they're being crushed! - You all get turned into boogal butter. - No! - I reject that notion. - I could go for a pack of boogals right now. - I will say, there's plenty of open space away towards, 'cause you're basically the base, you're in the foothills of the mountains.

- It doesn't provide us anything more, so Magnificent Mansion is still better, but it's at least a beautiful temple. - I didn't take it. - We can take baths and we can sleep on nice beds. - I'll say that you're able to enter-- - Iris gives herself a throne. - A large sandstone temple or whatever, exactly how it described is what you see as soon as you enter, all of the windows project all sorts of the beautiful

- Secession Desert. - Secession Desert and pyramids. It's like the fucking cover art of "Power Slave" by Aird and Ada. It's some glorious shit on there. Great statues and you're all able to enter this space and you feel at peace. You feel that presence of Anubis that you feel when Iris is constantly saving your lives.

with her magic, you feel that presence constantly in this space. - Hey Toa. - And this is clearly a temple to Anubis. - Yes. - I climb to the top of the pyramid. Hey Toa. - Yes? - Do you know why an ass crack goes up and down and not left to right? - Oh no, why? I've never learned that. - So that when you do this, it doesn't go and I slide down the pyramid.

I really thought of everything! Wow! Wow! That's really cool! I'm so glad it didn't go "ruh-ruh-ruh-ruh-ruh!" Terrible. Terrible. And you're all able to enter this temple. Incense.

So what happens after the spell ends? Does it just go away? Yeah, it just goes away. I mean, I could do it in the same spot for a year and the temple is there, but Iris wouldn't do that until she gets to a place that she would call her home. Right. So this place will crumble in 24 hours? Like, what happens? It'll just disappear. It'll fade into a mirage. Ooh, mirage. I would enter the temple and immediately just...

strip myself of clothing and run to whatever seems like a nice warm bath or pool or any source of water. Easily able to find both of those things. I'd be frogging. When in Sikesh. It's Siket. Oh, I'm sorry. You said Sikesh. Sikesh in, yes. T-I-N. Sikesh. I really don't know enough about your history. No, you don't. But now that we're here, I can talk to you about it.

I am interested. Come with me to my throne room. Oh, okay. Yes, ma'am. So do we all each have our own room? Yeah, I'll say... So this place is taking, like, baths and things? Yeah, there's, like, a beautiful... It's more like a bath house. Oh, okay. And so it's, like, beautiful, sparkling pools of crystal clear water. There's a...

I would say an oasis outside and kind of like the garden area. As soon as you were to welcome us in, I would, Felix would immediately head for this like bathhouse area and basically soak. But there's definitely ways to have like privacy in the bathhouse. He would try to steam and soak. You don't have to be like wiener out in front of Lifty if you don't want to be. Nice. Lifty is wiener out in front of you. I would, Felix would attempt to basically steam bathe in the hottest area that he could.

and just go, like, meditate in the steam and, like, rinse the horrific goo off of him. Make sure you do not wear your shoes in the temple, please. And there are vestments, linens, in your cupboards. So dress appropriately. You're in God's house now. Noted. Of course. Thank you for this, Iris. Really.

I feel attacked. Um, I'll take my, my sandals off. I'll take one of the lemons and wrap it around my head and just stay fully. Okay.

I think I would just go, I would like get settled in my room and I would just sort of meditate, like kneel down and take out my figures and just sort of meditate and pray. Are you really praying to someone else in Mubus's house? Someone be lacing my shoes. I'm not there, so I wouldn't see that. Yeah, no, you wouldn't see that. But I feel like I know it. Your ears are burning almost. He wouldn't know that it might be disrespectful. I know you're praying. You know what I mean? We're like...

It's more spiritual than religious, you know what I mean? Kind of different. I'm reflecting on the wind spirits. Is it really? I am so thrilled about a bath. But I do follow you into the throne room after taking approximately 23 minutes to remove both of my boots. What do you have thigh highs on? What do you wear?

Look at my art. Look at my art. Look at like Vandr's design. He's got like boots up to his knees. Crossroad style lace. Yeah. Exactly right. No king shaming. They're like fantasy boots. That's exactly right. They take some time. Somebody's fantasy shirt. I doff. I doff the shoes. They are doffed. They have pointy heels. Only if I want them to. You all are able to enjoy that. And it feels very warm and pleasant.

Do you have any sense of what's happening outside? Yeah, like it's, you know, it's a real structure that's created. So it's not like Magnificent Mansion where we couldn't see. You're not in a pocket dimension. Yeah. Like anyone could come in here. We get a lot of benefits if they choose to. You can like break down the door. Like you could be attacked. But it's like, it's like a, it's not like we can see through the walls or something. Like it's a building. So like we could still hear what was going on.

Like, I could hear... We could hear if someone was entering the structure, that kind of thing. Are there any magical benefits that Caprice could take advantage of in RP? Yes. Let me... I just feel like the craziest deja vu. You know when we can get deja vu and you think it's an omen of doom and something terrible is going to happen? It is. It's going to happen. Yeah. No, I mean, I'm just like, what the fuck is going on? What's going to happen next, Mike? Tell us. I don't know. I don't know. You know. It just so happened. You felt it. I don't say...

- It goes on time and you'll be okay. - I'm sure everything's gonna be fine. - I'm sure everything's gonna be fine. - I have thoughts to share with you. - Let's do that. - I have to tinkle. - You don't have to share everything. - Oh, the temple does oppose types of creatures I choose when I cast this spell. Choose one or more of the following. So, celestials, elementals, fey, fiends, or undead. I would definitely do undead, fiends, fey, and probably even elementals. - Does everything. - I would keep celestials because I don't see why she wouldn't.

Oh, yeah. Just in case, you know, Anubis wanted to send someone to talk to me. So everything... Hey, it's a planetar! Those ones are completely barred from entering. Or if they try to, they have to make charisma saving throw. They can force their way in, right? Um...

Even if it enters the temple, it's hindered. If it makes an attack roll or ability check or a saving throw, it must roll a d4 and subtract that automatically. The sensors that are created within this thing, or sensors created by divination spells can appear inside the temple, and the creatures within can't be targeted by divination spells. Whenever any creature in the temple regains hit points from a spell of first level or higher, the creature regains additional hit points equal to your wisdom modifier. Oh shit.

So every time you heal, you gain an extra five. Wow. So if we were to have like a fight in the temple. It is physical. It can't be dispelled by Dispel Magic. Wow. And the magic field has no effect on it. A disintegrate spell destroys the temple instantly. That's a first for you. I know disintegrate. If I accidentally was like, oh no!

I could just cast it the next day. After she believed in your power. Well, I let it get away from me. I'm sorry. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, that's what it does. That's tight. Thank you. That's badass. How long does it take to cast? Oh, yeah, I guess I should have looked at one hour. That took me a while. But it lasts for 24 hours. Tight. So we're entering late night now, and I want to take a bath. Did you... Oh, so I told you legends and lore from Siket, and...

You find me continuing to steer you back to the story of Twilight so that I can find out what happens in the second and third chapter. And I continually get distracted. I start reading you some of the Secession glyphs on the walls and ceilings and explaining to you about the Pantheon and the other gods. But then we do divulge back into like giggling fits about Twilight. And I do eventually explain the entire story to you. Is that also in hieroglyphics and stuff on the wall?

No, no, no, no. Oh, it's not? That was a book that was imported from Bargist. That's too bad. I was going to point at the wall and be like, and this is the scene where Muse really regretted licensing that particular piece. Oh, do you mean the Muses from Delphina? Yes, exactly right. No joke, that's actually one of my favorite Muse songs. He's amazing.

It's such a good song. But I don't think they wanted it for vampire baseball. It's really wasted on glitter baseball. It is. It is. I'm glad I have no idea what you guys are talking about. I know, because I just rewatched it. What they're trying to say is that Muse is a great band. Muse is a phenomenal band. That's actually the only song in their timeline. Fans aren't allowed to be that good. Really? And I think it's because the rest of their music isn't really like that song. That song is so different from everything else they do. And so that movie set an expectation for what Muse was for me. And I was severely disappointed. That's very fair.

That's very fair. I think if I had not listened to that song first, I probably would have, like, damned. Yeah. Is it? Yeah. Okay. Touche. Well played. Understood. Anything else...

Does Caprice ever make it to the bathhouse? Both Caprice and I would eventually make it to the bathhouse. I'm still there. We're like giggling like 15-year-old girls talking about Jacob and Edward. It's been hours and I'm still there. I would join in the evening. Just like soaking, steaming. So it's like late at night at this point. Meditating, trying to cleanse my body. The only lights that flicker through the temple are the lights of the braziers filled with flames and the incense that kind of fills the space with smoke and

the moon that's overhead, even though it would be dark here covered in trees, the landscape around it is more of a desert. And so you can see it shimmering and shining off of the golden sand. Very. Yes, I would just join everybody else once I was done sort of meditating. This feels lovely. I have missed this. I honestly, I thought to myself, I had forgotten what it felt like to be Secession. It feels like home.

This is very comfortable. Yes, so it is. Are there any ice cream sundaes, maybe? What? Do they have, like, ice cream sundaes in this temple? No, this temple does not create food or water for you. Oh. All right, I just figured it was worth asking. There are... What are we, baby? There are things that you can... that you can house something like a cold cream, but you would have to procure the cold cream yourself.

Understood. So in the morning we need to go to the Order of the Feather? Is that what we're doing? It feels like a month since we talked about this. I don't remember. I think back, and the Feather that he was talking about... Were the Keepers of the Feather. The Keepers of the Feather. Yes. And so they have agreed to ally with, or a truce, create a truce with the Keepers of the Feather.

And the Barovians. They've agreed to that, but you don't know necessarily how that's happening. Yeah, and we also need to go back to the camp and tell them the Beastwood's okay now. I mean, I left some music for them. It was very violent. We probably should stop that from happening also. Well, hopefully they're not seeing it tonight. Yeah. Yeah.

Um, alright, well I'm gonna get some rest. It's been a long day. Um, goodnight. Are you sleeping here? In your bag? No, I'm gonna go to my room. Alright. It's a very nice room, thank you for building it out of nothing. It's very impressive. I'll just stare at Toa. I wish I could do that. Anyway, goodnight. I'll quickly get up and I'll dry off and I'll go to my room and go to bed.

The towel is not quite... It's like a loincloth. Which is not so different than what else he wears. Next time you wrap a towel around your waist, I recommend instead of folding it in, fold it out. It actually is considerably more... Anyways.

You're all gonna enjoy a long rest here. All right! Yeah. I would... I would eventually make my way back to my room. I would bathe for as long as I felt like it, and then eventually make my way to the princess suite. Love that. I need to know... Oh, and before I go, Felix, this temple is lovely, if I do say so myself, but...

It is not impenetrable. Would you mind setting up an alarm around the perimeter to make sure that we are safe? Yeah, of course. I'll do it before I go to bed. Thank you. And I would have stayed up much later than I normally would, like just thinking about things. And then before I go to bed, I would alarm the perimeter of the premise. I would have extra alarmed my room and maybe even the inside of the doors to my friends' rooms.

And then I would go to bed. Could you alarm around the entrance to the cave? Yeah, I can do it. I can do it. I can do anything, right? So I ritually cast it. Yeah, so Iris would have mentioned that to you, too. Totally. Just make sure to protect them. Yeah, it's just a matter of ten minutes per cast because I would ritually cast it as many times as I need and just, like, you know, really make sure I got it. Like five hours. Yeah, which is fine. I don't care. Felix is like, fuck it. I love that. Well, this is good for it. Eventually you make it back for the end.

And you all enjoy the long run. Whatever. Felix. Uh-oh. In the early hours of the morning, you are... You wake in a sweat as you hear a ringing alarm in your head. The threshold has been crossed in the temple, and you can sense that there has been something that has entered. Without even hesitating, I would wake up

grab my knife, not dressing, wearing whatever vestments were given to me by Iris, and opening the door and going to the direction of, I would know where, I would know where. - Yeah, it's across the main door of the threshold. The big temple door is at the front. - I would go immediately there and see if I can see what's going on.

You do that quietly. You, uh, you rocket through. You're running as quickly as possible, and you almost slide into the main entrance hall of the temple, and you see a man standing there.

It seems to, he seems to be dressed in long gray and silver robes, the strange hat that goes down to his shoulders all the way up into a bizarre hat that wraps around. And this man turns to you and you just see a mask of silver, completely featureless. As, does this creature see me?

He turns to look at you and it just stares at your face. You see the face of what looks like a man looking at you, but very clearly a porcelain mask. And I've never seen anything like this before. In his hand, you see that there is a strange silver lantern that's circular and it's radiating a strange kind of... Does it look similar to like the Secession style? Not at all. Okay. Not at all. Just making sure. Sorry. Holding a lantern. And he turns to look at you. Yep.

Sorry, I'm looking through my spill book. Give me one second. I apologize.

So many spells. I apologize. Why are there so many spells? For sure, only say there'd be a few of them. I was going to say, the player's handbook. I'm sorry, I have to look through so many things. So this creature, it appears as though they are... A very tall man that seems to be broad, and his outfit, whatever he's wearing, is very bizarre. It looks like...

vestments of some kind as he turns to the lantern. You can see that as you entered, you just see that the head was looking around curiously. And then as you enter, his attention is drawn towards you. - I would immediately cast upon myself telekinesis.

and attempt to pick this creature up 30 feet off the ground and hold it in the air. Okay. It has to make a strength contest, I think, or strength saving throw. Let me double check. It might be a contest. I love contests. It does say, make an ability check with my spellcasting ability contested by the creature's strength check. And while this is happening, I'm screaming Toa's name.

Okay. So my spellcasting ability is probably, what's, so plus five. Plus five. So my spell, is it my spell attack plus the modifier, so it's 17. 17. Right? It's a 19. Oh, shit. If I'm trying to figure out what my spell... It's just plus five. Plus what? I guess is what I'm asking. You roll a d20. Oh! Yeah, you roll a d20 and that is plus five. And that's plus five to that. You got a 19, so I gotta get, oh boy. You need a 15 or higher. 25% chance.

I don't like these odds. Don't never tell me the odds. We tied. He met it. So he meets it. But I'm screaming for Toa, which you would hear. You scream to Toa, and I think it would probably echo through everything to everyone. And it is the early morning. You can see the... Or you can feel that you've actually enjoyed a long rest. And so it might still be a little bit dark out.

but it's not the dead of night, and so you're all not dead tired, and you feel rested as you hear this, and you reach out, and your dagger glows. You attempt to grapple this man with your mind, and you are unable to do so. As he turns to you, and you hear a voice that fills this space,

and through the mask somehow, not muffled. And he says, "Do not be afraid, child." - If I have another action, I try again. I mean, it's just concentration. I can just telekinesis now as much as I want. - Yeah, also you're all able to wake up from this.

I'm still attempting to telekinetic. Strength that's even higher than a 23. I will use my feline agility to get to Felix as quickly as possible, knowing this temple like the back of my mind because I created it. Fuck! And hearing him screaming for help. Man, this sucks. Telekinesis is awful. I have been sleeping, yeah.

What are you thinking? I'm having a potato ball and then I wake up. Oh, uh, fuck. Yeah, I immediately wake up, "Felix!" And I, you know, throw on my skirt and run out. I attempt to pick him up again. I am a friend. Doesn't matter, I attempt to pick him up again.

This time it is a 17. - I got an eight. - As you try to crush and crush and crush. - I didn't use Kimma's die, that's the problem. - You used the chest? - I'm not trying to crush him, I'm trying to pick him up. - Oh, you're trying to pick him up, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Just restrain him, essentially, with my mind. It's not working well. I tried again.

When would we get there? 17. I would say at this point, you would see as Felix, as the man finally is lifted up into the air as you all arrive. What is happening? And he's tilting, as you levitate him in the air and with a gust of wind, you see two angelic wings spread out. Wow, that's not good.

from beneath the cloak as it whips around and fills the air with room. I drop the telekinesis. Or fills the room with air. As soon as I see this, I immediately drop the telekinesis and I'm like, I made a great mistake. I will step up behind Felix. Who are you and why do you enter the Temple of Anubis? Yeah, who are you? Yeah, who are you?

You see the head tilt around as he looks and he says, "Do not be afraid, children. I am your friend. You may call me the Abbot." And we win.

Is this some sort of thing that I don't get? Yeah, it is. Loser. As you drop, are you dropping the telekinesis? Well, so I'm not restraining him anymore. Telekinesis is affecting me for 10 minutes. So you're not restraining him and he just glides down very slowly on these angelic wings that shimmer with

shimmer with the light of morning and then fold up and are then fully concealed by the large robe-like situation he has going on. I think I've made a little bit of a mistake here. I don't know who you are, but I'm sorry. I was startled. You are forgiven, my child. You were afraid I'd understand. Are you a good person or a bad person?

I would like to think I am a good person, yes. As he looks around he says, "I simply saw a temple in my travel to the Nightbane Cavern and I wished to look around. Seems to be Anubis." Yes, so it seems. Was it the fifty statues of Anubis guiding the path to the front door? Yes, actually.

I have not seen these constructions of the Assyrian pantheon in quite some time. Very fascinating. Well, I would love to... Would you like a pamphlet? I'm quite committed. I'm quite committed to my morning law, but I thank you. Well, for additional information and...

"Customs for entering the temple of Anubis. Can you please remove your shoes?" He just looks at you and his wings come out again. He just goes about like three inches off of the ground. Your shoes, quite still, dropped us up. And he turns his head and looks all of you and says, "You are the ones whom I have also been looking for. I am sent by Count Von Zarovich."

I am to provide aid and assistance to the lycanthropes within Nightbane Cavern and heal their sick and injured as a sign of good faith. Oh, oh. I mean, that's nice. We were going to see the Count tomorrow morning. You, your presence is not requested with the Count. Well, my Count, your friend Escher Kreskov wishes to see you at Corpus Holt Manor.

And he flies forward a bit and hands out what seems to be some sort of a large envelope that seems to be filled with something, if you want to grab it. Well, we promised Ivar that we would arrange for him to have a meeting with Count Von Zorovich in the hopes that some sort of truce can be arranged. I hope that you will be able to...

Facilitate that in our stead. He leans forward and nods and says, "Yes, that is also why I am here. Is the... Count Kreskov has been persuasive for Count Manzanovic, and I have been sent as a sign of good faith to help the good peoples of the cavern." Good timing. If I may, out of character, I have a question, because it's been so long.

I know you mentioned that there are... there were a couple of teleportation circles, and I know that we were given a couple of scrolls. We used one, I learned one. Yes. The place that you just mentioned that we needed to meet... Yes. Does that have a... or is it... does it have a teleportation circle, or is it within walking distance? And this is something, like, maybe...

Offstream, you can just send me a list of places that we know of that have them, just to facilitate speedy travel in the future. Because I don't remember. In order to learn them, you need to go there and look at the thing. And I just didn't know if it's a place we have been. So it's not a place you've been. Okay. So this is a new place. Can I ask a question? Yes.

Because it's a physical structure and I'm recreating it every time, could Felix essentially create a teleportation to my temple? It would take a year, but yeah. It would take a year. I have to cast it in the same place 365 days. But yes. So if you were keeping re-upping it and you were re-upping it every day for a year after a year would be permanent. It takes me 360 casts. Well, that's how long it takes me to make the structure permanent. Oh.

You know what? When this whole thing is over, we're going to figure it out. We're going to go into business. You guys are just going to settle down together? So then maybe, Mike, I'll just ask you later. Technically, 336 casts for the Avengers calendar. If there's a list of places you've been with teleportation circles I've seen, because I won't be able to keep them straight in my brain. So you only currently have two, which is Zentra and Austin Guard. Austin Guard. Austin Guard and Zentra are the two that you have in your mind. I need to write them down.

So you can teleport, use teleportation circle and go to the entrance. No, it's all good. Just wanted to make sure I wasn't missing anything. TP circles. So you take the envelope from this being who calls himself the Abbot. I take it. And he then just nods at all of you and says, I will speak to the pack leader. I believe that he will take my

presence as more suitable than the Count's until a meeting can be arranged. A lot's happened in the last 24 hours. You probably are still right, but he may be more receptive than you imagined. He just nods. I hope you are right. I just simply was curious about this temple. Beautiful. As he turns back and says it is good that I found you with him. You...

Is that what this is all about? Marks? Marks. Marks?

Well, hey, Mark. Just as about ten minutes is about to run out, I look around this room that we're all standing in, and I find a statue of Anubis that looks to be roughly 1,000 pounds. I move it 15 feet one direction and 15 feet back the other direction until Kinesis goes away. Is somebody playing Tomb Raider? As you do that, it's actually a spike trap, and the abbot... A spike trap! I'm just kidding. Jesus. Um...

Does anyone have a knife that I can use in order to open this? Yeah, I take the map out and I look inside the envelope to see what he means by Marks.

As you open the envelope, you see that there is a... some sort of note, some sort of crudely drawn map, and then there are five small little... They almost look like coins, but they're in the shape of a sun with a small, very small red gem in each one. They actually seem to be a much smaller version of the disc that...

that Sofiana had had. And so you see that there's a little pin on the back that you should be able to easily pin onto whatever you care to. And these seem to be the marks. And... I would pin mine to my lapel. There you go. A mark for you.

- Oh, that's nice. - Actually, I lied. I would pin it just to the inside of my coat so I could flash it and it not be like visible just in case. - Nope, you already said it. - I'm just kidding. - He's like moving as an action. He looks at all of the six seconds and says, "Do you, any of you require healing for assistance before I meet with the king?"

The pack leader. Only the healing of grief in our heart for the woes and... No, not really. I'm just talking. Time heals all wounds. What about the girl that you have in the jar? The girl in the jar? I'm sorry, I've never seen an angel before. I like your hat. Thank you. I like it as well.

Not a bad point. Maybe he could do something? I feel like it's been a month since we spoke about any of this material. The girl in- there's literally a girl in the jar, the ashes of a girl in a jar from like two hours ago. Well that- it's a canopic jar. Oh. Yeah and she has a name! Yes, I- Toa, that's very smart of you. Abbot. Yes? Would you do us a kindness? Do you think you could?

If it is within my power, then I will. If it is the will of the Morning Lord. You come at behest of Count Wanzarovich, hoping to create an alliance with the Wels? Yes. Last night, Ivar lost his daughter. She was reduced to dust. It was terrible. If there is a way, I'm not strong enough, but if there is a way that you are,

I have what remains of her, simply but ashes. She had been in the grips of undeath beforehand. It would take immense magic, but you may have. Could you try? I will help you if I can. Would you try to bring her back for him? He holds him in midair, still levitating. You see just the silvers and greys of his robes barely cresting along the stone floor of this temple.

And he looks, the mask looks in your direction and says, I'm afraid I am not powerful enough. But the Mourning Lord could be if he wills it. I could take the jar with the child, if you wish, back to the Abbey of St. Markovia. Yes. And perhaps, if the Mourning Lord wishes it, I will attempt to channel his power and do what I can. I will, um...

I'd say this, but I had imagined I put it into the tombs beneath the temple, and so I will quickly rush down and grab it and bring it out to him. It is sealed closed with wax, and I will hand it to him. He takes it, gloved hands. You see that it's fully covered now, except for his wings. And he takes it, and he looks around and says, I know we will meet again. You know where to find me at the Abbey of St. Markovia, but if you

Meet me in the meantime. I serve the Count, for he and I serve the same God. Goodbye. Please do not tell Ivar what I've asked of you, in case it fails. I do not want to give him hope. Furious. I do not know why, but I will do as you ask. He's lost her once. I don't want him to feel the sting of her loss again. I see.

mortal attachments. And he takes the... that has... he takes it and just puts it beneath his cloak and it just gets almost gets consumed. You're not really sure where he puts it, but does not drop to the ground. As... His wiener wraps around it. He then folds his wings back up. They disappear beneath his cloak. He just very gently drops to the ground.

And he says, uh... "Sick problems. Until we meet again."

And he turns, and as he leaves, he nearly glides across the stone floor, but you see his head is still curiously looking at all the hieroglyphics and murals, perhaps. Is mural the right word? Bass relief. Bass reliefs and all the like, and he's simply looking and curiously admiring, and then he very easily leaves the townhouse.

- And Kels mentioned after the curly Q penis that she's hungry. And I also agree. - And so as the abbot leaves the temple, let's take a quick break. - Just before he's-- - You can play a little bit. - As he's almost out of hearing, like shouting range, he'll hear Caprice, "Bye abbot!" - Thanks. - So what do you do? So that echoes and what do you do? You've just seen an angel leave.

If he can't bring her back and it requires a god, I have a severe misunderstanding of what it's going to take to save these people. Yes, it is Dawa news. They have angels just walking around here. I didn't realize it was like a normal thing. Is it a normal thing? No. No, it is not.

But I think you all handled yourselves well in the presence of... Celestial? I don't know what to say. Did you let him in? No. Oh. He let himself in. That was kind of rude. No, not at all. I appreciated his interest in Anubis. I wish he had taken the Papyrus, but... Caprice, do you want it? Oh, great! And I'm going to pass it to Caprice. What? The Papyrus of Anubis.

Yeah, some light reading for you. I mean, it's an ancient succession, but you can learn it. Oh! Oh, the pamphlet. Yes, the papyrus.

Thank you. You're welcome. I'm between gods right now, so that's fine. Are you going to open up, take a look at everything that was inside? Oh, I've handed out the marks, and you said that there's a map. What else do I discover? So yeah, you've broken the seal, and you can see very clearly that the wax seal has the signet ring of Castle Remornia and Count Kraskov. Wait! Pause. Is that what signet rings are?

Like, we're four? Yeah. Yeah. Sealing. Black seals. What?!

It's their seal. I didn't know that! Lufty has an existential crisis. That's what I put in the form. That's what I'm fucking talking about. As you snap the seal, you've seen the ring on Escher's finger. I literally never knew that. I love you. I love everything about you. And you find a map to a point in the mountains by Crest.

But this is where we're given direction to meet. You're given direction to meet with an axe and then a recommended path. And you can see with the flourish, it's actually quite well drawn. And you get a good sense of where you're going. And you see that there's also an accompanying letter in very elegant handwriting. And says, and you read it, and it says, "Friends, I finally figured it out. The next step of our journey will be incredibly dangerous.

but we must do it. It's the only chance to save my daughter. Meet me at Corvus Holt Manor. The directions I've provided. The Keepers of the Feather have agreed to help. If the Carrion King wants to peer beyond the mist, then so shall we. I'll see you soon. Asher. And that's what it says. Wow. Looks like we have our next...

To do. How far is it? Well, if I... If this is ten miles... No. Hold on. You moved your fingers. I know, but just... Shit. Hold on. Alright. This is ten miles. And then... How far do I estimate? You would estimate that it is... It would be a several hour journey if you hooked it.

I don't know, like several hours? You're not too far from Kresk, outside of Barobia, in the general direction, so you can take several hours to get there. That's fine, we can set out immediately. Are we just going to leave this temple here? Oh no, it'll dissipate. Oh, can you do it? If we leave, you can just make it go away? Sure. Can I be inside when you do it?

We'll miss you. Oh. Well, I will not do that then. Got him. Indeed she did. Let me go get my things. I go and I grab all of my various accoutrements and I make my way to the entrance where I'll meet everyone to head out. All right, lead the way. What?

I love how the laces are getting smaller. No, says Derek, we don't have Darby. Yes.

This goes on. And eventually you leave, and as you leave, you see down the entrance of Nightbane Cavern, and you see that the abbot has been greeted by two werewolves, including the one that had taken you in, the female with the red hair. And they welcome the abbot, and he takes one look back at all of you as you're exiting the temple, and then goes into Nightbane Cavern as you all make your way to Corvus Holt's manor.

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