Beneath Dark Wings | Ep. 54 | Temple of Gloom: Part 2
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Welcome to Legends of Avantris! I'm Capriccio DeSesto, you can call me Caprice, and you're listening to Beneath Dark Wings. Here's what happened last time. I thought that Exothent would be here, but not like that. Not like this. He was a lich and his mind was not his entirely. How did he get into the state? You still have that for another minute. I don't know for sure. But, this had to have been the work of my little bat. This hat, there's no other explanation, but...

I knew she could craft flesh and bone, but to overpower Exothantor, its flame skulls, and do this to him. You're saying your daughter did this? You're standing before a huge amber sarcophagus, a large crack running down its center. The only hope is for you and your friends to come here, deal with Ankatep, deal with

More importantly, with Thor's doom, the chained god, he will not stay chained much longer. You must accept help. Do not let fear control you. We've got to get out of this temple. We've got to get somewhere as far away as possible. Yeah, if we can, we should all try to zoop down the side of the mountain. Just grunt forth.

You settle in and you feel like night has just fallen. And as you hear, lose the elements, the wind, it dies down a bit. And then as you're settling in, you hear the beating of massive wings. And you hear the reverberating, booming cry of a rock. You...

around the fire enjoying some tea, settling in, probably able to, you know... You have no idea how close the mic you are. You're able to brew some tea. And Felix, you're just taking sips, like not even really taking any time to even look at the tea as you're trying to study the scroll and transcribe it into your... It tastes like pineapple. I'm really bad. Ew! No! Why?

Oh my god! No! Thank you, thank you. You couldn't say it like Felix. I couldn't even keep a straight face. Should I tell the joke or no? Yeah, let's fucking say the joke. Yeah, tell the joke. Alright, someone told me that pineapple juice makes cum taste better, but I mix them together and it still tastes like shit.

That's a good one. Oh, man. Well. I've heard that joke so many times in the past three years. It makes me laugh every time. It still fucking gets me. It makes me laugh every time. I think when Derek, Derek has to tell us. He has to. I don't. Yeah. Oh.

It's like the... Reminds me never to be an alchemist. I'm like, shit. You can't even repeat it. Man, this one's like shit. The feelings remind me never to become an alchemist. It smells like shit in here. I don't shit that way. Because you guys banged in the fucking alchemy room. Oh, my God.

And Caprice would have no idea, as a virgin, what it would smell like. So he'd just start to do his voice into the room and it's just a thick, thick smell wafting over him like, oh, I don't want to be an alchemist. It smells gross. Okay, now I get it. I didn't know that.

Caprice is a virgin for you Deep Lore fans out there. Really? Really? You said it a couple times. Kelsey forgets everything. I do. I don't think you've told us in the world. Caprice has only told Herja. Herja revealed the same to him. And he was exploded about that. But...

- I got a little dribble. I got a little dribble. - Some got out. - The closest I'll ever get to a spit take. - All right, well, it looks like Abby doesn't wanna be a mod anymore, so I think we need to unmod her. - Oh, that's too bad, Abby. - We'll take care of that. - Sorry. - We'll deal with it, Abby, don't worry. - They'll mod themselves, fun fact. I didn't know that. - I think so. Right, but I think Abby wants us to do it for her, so we'll go ahead and unmod you after the stream, Abby.

Thank you for your service. Yes, he's saving himself. Originally, he didn't want to do that because he had an infernal legacy. And that was why he would not sire a child because he was terrified of what that would look like. I just thought there was some vision of like...

you with having a wife and a kid. Do I? There was a vision of that. Not because he has one. As a projected future and a promise that Galacia was trying to deliver unto him in order to manipulate his behavior. Got it. Okay. But I didn't make it up. But that was sessions and sessions ago. Okay. Look, see, I remember the thing. I just didn't remember the context. Or the right order or anything else about it. Anyways, we're in freezing cold huts. Indeed.

Didn't you say there was something about a box and some secrets? Oh yeah, so there's a box. When are we gonna get to that? You've been like teasing it this entire time. As you're enjoying your creamy pineapple tea. Disgusting. That is not canon. I am upset. Did you say steaming pineapple tea? Steamy, creamy pineapple tea. I choose to cast incinerate on myself, taking everyone in the tent with me.

Yeah, that's... We all turned to ashes. That is absolutely god-awful. Well, I apologize to everyone for Legends of Antris. For Legends of Antris. This is our anniversary and will also be our final stream. We needed four good years. Four good years is all you need. Um, okay. I guess I gotta fucking DM. Only two minutes.

Uh, actually, disintegrate a single target. That is true. Yeah. Oh. So, you all have created a fire, and you're enjoying some tea, whatever rations that you still have. You're not sure how much time has passed.

and you hear the beating of massive wings as the wind whips out all around you and you hear the shrill but booming cry of a rock flies over you. What do you all do? We need to hide, we need to hide. Come on, real quick. Are we in a hut? You're in a hut, yeah. I don't think it needs to be any other way. I would be quiet. I would like pause my...

note-taking and transcribing, like, shortly, and, like, look around. I'm probably asleep. And then, like, try to continue to keep going. I'm gonna quickly get to the doorway as quietly as I can just to listen to make sure that it doesn't land or get near us and hope that it will pass. You listen, and when it sounds like the wings are getting more distant...

The cry of the rock echoes through, uh, Salenka Pass. Do you smell what the rock is getting at? And it fades off. And you just hear the elements outside. I think, I think we're okay. The hut shakes as you hear the weight of a massive creature land what can't be more than

50 feet away from the hut. I thought you said it was okay. I thought so too, and it's like a way, and now it's something else just... Escher Kreskov. What? You and I know, we both know, that the key cannot be used again.

There is no salvation for your daughter without my help. Escher is just quietly looking at all of you and then his ears perk up. You and I both know that she is doomed. Unless you say my name thrice.

And with a... You hear the rumbling as seemingly the rock of Solanca Pass lifts off into the sky and flies away. Caprice would immediately jump onto his feet and race towards me. I wouldn't even be standing near him. I would be up next to him, my face

right up into his ear, almost in a full hug. - He's very much taken aback by this, not like, still just processing what Pazuzu said to him. - And I will grab the shirt right at the chest of Escher. Listen to me, man.

Don't fuck with that. Don't you dare. We haven't had any time to tell you how dangerous that is, but that is an entity that you do not want to listen to. Do you understand me? Whatever the Amber Temple has, this is an order of magnitude higher. Do not let him tempt you, understand? Why, Caprice? Is he powerful? That much more powerful than the Amber Temple? I could tell you the whole story, and I think the answer would be yes.

Well, it's good to know there is power that gray steel available to us. No. No, no, no, no, no. It's not available to us. I invoked that name once. The only reason why we're not in an apocalyptic horrorscape now is because an additional, larger power intervened. Understand? Nothing good could come from that. Understood. Take a persuasion check for me.

Is he getting help? From all of you? Yeah, from the rest of you. We're all at an advantage. We're all at an advantage. Thank you. That was not as good by one. It's alright. Persuasion check. Yeah, they're still pretty good, though. 32. He sits back down. Still pretty good. You release, or maybe you don't release him. He looks up at you and says, Alright.

"Alright, Caprice, I understand. It's things that even I wouldn't do, you must understand." "We all live in complex webs of power, but don't open that box. Of any of the boxes you could open, please don't open that one, okay?" "Yes, of course, I understand. I'd still stab the-" "Even in your most desperate moment." "I had the opportunity to let that thing overpower me, Caprice."

I still use the only chance that I had for my little bat. I release Escher and seeing him handle the key, I will be like, I don't know what he said was lies. If that key can't restore your daughter, we will find another way, I swear to you. I think we should discuss this. I almost call on that entity.

But Anubis stayed my hand. Which means he does not want that entity to be summoned. And what I would remind you, Esha, with Anubis's power, I needed no key to free my friends from their grasp. There are entities out there, I cannot promise Anubis's help, but there are entities out there with kind hearts. Entities that could help to save your little bat. This one.

can do nothing unless it's freed, and it will say anything to be freed. Because it says that it can does not mean that it will. You're right. It's just like all of those powers, those vestiges of dark evil trapped away in amber. They will do and say anything they must to be free, to be, to use mortals to do their will.

You make a strong, a strong point. Forgive me. Just forget you ever even heard it, all right? Things might feel very desperate. I only came out of it okay, because I'm the luckiest, luckiest fucker on the planet. I don't think anyone else has that kind of luck. I've never been particularly lucky. I made one bold choice, one gamble, and it paid off, I suppose.

That was lucky, but I feel like my entire life has been a cruel twist of fate. If you want a crueler twist, you repeat those words three times. I'm telling you. I will not. Thank you for helping me come to my senses. Caprice, did you ever tell us exactly what happened when you said, "Bazoozer" three times? Don't say that.

My understanding as a DM is that you didn't. Is that I did not. I thought at one point you said that you came clean about everything. I thought that afterwards I didn't RP it. But in the moment of recovery after I came back to life...

I thought that I sat down and was like, this is what happened when I died, this is what I did when I died, I said these three words, and then there was this bird experience in an apocalyptic wasteland, and then there was another voice, Herja was taken into a bulb, now I'm free, I think I'm free of the contract, I think that I'm free as a tiefling, but now my only goal is to get Herja back.

because I love her. And I thought that I delivered that onto all four of you, but if I didn't-- - I'm pretty sure you did. - We've traveled for months now together and I perhaps may have shared that. - I would say that you then know all the details, the wasteland, the portals, the ziggurats, the eclipse, all that shit.

So it was just, uh, we don't have to RP this, but... Yeah, it was one of those situations where, like, Caprice had completely stopped being secretive after his initial death, and he transformed into somebody who is very much a wiser person and shared everything. Well, I mean, clearly, these are two very powerful beings that don't want whatever is plans to come to fruition, so, I mean...

You know, we just need to meet another one. A third one. It can't be that hard. I mean, you each know one. Maybe you could meet one. A cool one. You know? A cool one, Toa? Yeah, I mean, I guess. No, I... I have seen what these dark bargains can do. I've seen the power they hold. I've seen the power of things like eclipses or a blood moon.

As much as I want to save Ravnovia, I do not wish that evil onto the world. Certainly not. On a lighter note, I pick up my book and I tear a page out. I think I'm onto something. And I lay it down and I smooth it out and you can see that I've drawn like a circle. It's got some like lines and shapes and patterns on it. Okay, here we go.

I close my eyes, I put my hands over it, and it begins to glow blue. Felix, what are you going to do? I'm just testing things out. It's okay. And it begins to glow blue, and then it starts to arc with, like, blue, like, a little bit of blue electricity, and you can hear it buzzing, and then instantly the whole thing, it completely incinerates and turns to ash. That was not supposed to happen. I'm going to keep working on it.

I mean, take your time until you're like really sure that you're done. I mean, it's like smoldering and I'm like, didn't quite get that one right. That's okay. It was really,

I guess we have significantly more time. I'm going to sleep for 14 hours at least. Felix, a few hours ago you had horns covered in eyes. Can you not just like spring stuff on us in an arcane manner? Oh, yeah, sorry. I was just working through it and I just wanted to make sure that I had the sigils in the right order and I had the right... You know what? The fact that you did that in that way tells me that you're 100%. I'm going to go to bed too.

Okay, well I'll be up. I'm gonna keep working on this. If anybody needs you- Oh! I'll take a break and I'll alarm the area. Don't worry. We can all rest easy. I got this. Okay, make sure that you include, like, no birds can come in. No birds can come in. They need to really be on that list of things that, like, I guess it's not only about coming in, but you need to be very alert about birds, just to remind you. You know, I'm sure you know, but anyway. Done. I'm gonna go back to sleep as well.

Are we going to set up any kind of watch at all, or are we going to allow alarm to just protect us? I will be awake. Yes, well, as much as I appreciate that, I'm not quite sure how much I like you being awake alone with the knowledge that you have. I'll be awake as well. I gotta work on this. For the entire time? As much as I can, yeah, yeah. I'm gonna just focus on this and get it done. Is it because you want Toa to carry you tomorrow? Well, I

Ideally, if it pays off, nobody will have to carry anybody. Well, great. All right, I'm going to sleep, Loofty. Will you be my pillow? Yeah. Great. I'll jump on there. And I'll jump on Loofty and snuggle in. Yeah. I just love this so much. When can I keep watching? Whenever you want.

I'm going to place the alarms. They'll last for eight hours and I'll be up. I'm going to be focused on this, but I'll be awake. If you want to come wake up and keep me company at any point in the night, I'd be happy to wake you up. Wait, wait, wait, wait me up early morning. I'll be there. I'll sleep now. Sounds good. I'm going to take 30 minutes break to cast the alarm. And I would just work the perimeter outside of our tent, very carefully looking outside and like, you know, doing it. You do that.

Everyone else settles in, and as you settle back in... I scratch the lame fuck out of Lufti as I dig into her like Nose suggests, and then circle on top of her and then go to sleep.

She's bleeding profusely. You take 46 points of slapping damage. Ah, yes. But then you enjoy a long rest. Yes, you'll be restored in the morning. Oh, I don't. As you sit back down, Escher looks at your work and says, "Well, you know that things blowing up in your face is the first step to being a good alchemist."

Trial and error, boy. Caprice is asleep. Gross. I'm gonna keep working on it. Hey, maybe you might be able to help me. I'll bounce ideas off of you. I am here. I have no coffin to sleep in, so I will be awake. And you're able to talk back and forth with Escher. He's probably just-- you can discuss alchemy with him.

and Transmutation Magic, which is really his area of expertise when it comes to magic. He seems to know relatively little else, just besides more of a passing interest. And you're able to stay up and whatever watch you do.

Is there anything else you'd like to do? You'd be able to do that for the full evening? And you'd all be able to awake? I guess Fields would have to keep me working. Or rather, continue working. As you all wake up. And I guess maybe Escher wakes you up for early morning. Caboose. Oh. What time is it?

That's a great question. I'm not really sure, but check this out. I tear out another page of the journal. I spread it out, and this time you see a similar shape that you saw before, but it looks a little more refined, a little bit better. I'm getting closer. I forgot my coffee. I don't really... And I focus on it, and I hold my hands out over here. It's the exact same thing in glow blue and a little bit of arcing, and there's a pop. It's not a very loud pop.

And then a foot away from where the paper was, there's another pop and the paper is back. Look at that! Whole foot! What? I moved it! I moved the paper from here to there. Look at that!

I pick up the paper and I move it back one foot to the other side. Look at me. As soon as you let the paper go, as soon as you touch the paper, it disintegrates. Okay, all right, that's worth noting, I guess. Okay. Thank you, Caprice, that was helpful. Bravo. My pleasure. Bravo.

I'm gonna make some coffee. I will go to the coffee-making station. Go to the Keurig. Go to the Keurig. I need to refill the water again! You're such a waste.

There's the point, wakes up. What is that? Are you supposed to descale it regularly, Caprice? But I hit the big cup. It's so relatable. That's why you're here. Relatable cups, that's right. Thank you. High fantasy, relatable beer rinks. With that, you all enjoy a long rest. Yay!

So you're only able to remove one level of exhaustion, right? Yes, those of you are able to remove one. I think Longrest will do that, I'm pretty sure. Under recovery, you just have to make sure you check it. Oh, because you have to eat, yeah. I'm under one level of exhaustion. So you all awake. Felix, I guess, probably has another couple hours.

But, uh, he's very close. We're getting closer. There's a lot less smoke, a lot less incinerated paper. We're getting there. That all sounds pretty good, yeah? I can't complain. I gotta be honest, I'm feeling pretty good about this. We're good. Keep up the good work and I'll punch him on the arm. Ow.

Oh, sorry. I just want to poke my head out of the hut and kind of see outside what it's looking like. That was my spellcasting arm! You're unconscious. Yeah. No, you poke your head out and once again, you actually, the fire that's been stoked by, you know, Esher's been helping keep it stoked, has made this space actually quite pleasantly warm relative to the outside. And as soon as you poke your head out, that bitter chill bites your face.

And you see now, you're not in the middle of a blizzard. The sky is actually relatively clear. There are some clouds. It's not super sunny. But the wind is mild. It's incredibly cold. But it's not a storm. It's probably, you know, a decent bit past dawn. Okay.

Yeah, it's still awful out there. Well, Felix, great work. You keep working. I'm gonna just very stealthily keep an eye out for any birds. And I'm gonna walk outside and I'll close the door behind me and I'll take some of the... Is it like, is it thatched-roofed or like, what's the roof situation?

- Yeah, probably like really tightly bound, like, you know, thatch and things and wooden shingles and that kind of stuff. - I'm gonna take just a couple-- - A lot of pelts. - A lot of pelts as well. - I'm gonna pull off like a pelt and pull off like a couple branches and twigs and pieces of wood and I'm gonna hold it over me, thinking that I'm stealthy, and I'm going to just scan my eyes across the sky while Felix finishes looking for any sign of birds, rocks, or otherwise. - Make a perception check.

- Nope. - Natural one. - You scan the horizon and you don't really see any birds. You feel very stealthy though. - Go ahead. - Oh no, I was gonna say, I wanna show the same trick to Lufty that I showed to Caprice. I wanna show you this, it looked pretty cool. Caprice didn't seem very impressed. - Oh, well lay it on me, what you got? - I tear another sheet, I lay it on the ground, I do the thing, it goes in, it poofs and it's gone.

And then I wait. Wait. Uh oh. What? Did it work? It was supposed to come back. Uh... Bravo? Yes, Lofty, bravo. Well done, Felix. I'm almost done. I'm almost done. Yeah, you did it. I think. I'm feeling a lot better about... Why was it supposed to come back? Um...

Maybe it's best we don't talk about that. Okay. I trust you. That page is now somewhere in a mantras. Oh, there's a piece of paper in my t-shirt!

I fall over. You take 12d12, paper got damaged. Somewhere in Avantris, that paper reappears and someone... I love that idea that a commoner goes down and is like, hmm, good carrot harvest this time. Hey, man. Dad? Oh, Derek. Dad, who will harvest the carrots now? I don't know how.

You all will starve! Jesus. Caprice will be outside enjoying his Keurig coffee. And he'll find Iris wherever she is.

I mean, she's inside. Yep, she's inside preparing her spells for the day. Oh. Iris is praying. I'm waiting for you to come out. I'm gonna wait for Iris. Okay. I've got a second cup of coffee for her. I'll join you with a glass of wine and do some stretching and lay back. Yeah. It's 6.30 in the morning. Yeah, I know. I'm usually not up this early, but...

Yeah, no. Cheers! Cheers. I've got like a big bag and just like squirting it in like a Gatorade bottle and like doing some stretches. What do you remember about being a giant slug? Oh, right. Right, now that I've prepared my spells for the day and prayed to Anubis, I will join them. Hey, Iris.

I was just asking Luffy what she remembers about being a giant Slurms McKenzie. A what? Like a slug. Oh. Well, now, is that a big disgusting thing? I actually felt really good at the time. Why would you call it a Slurms McKenzie?

That's not where you call slugs in anywhere but Galtica? Well, not in Neckbet. Siket, specifically. No. To be honest, I'm not sure how slugs would fare in the desert heat. Oh, I can't imagine. I mean, the desert's not salty, is it? What do you mean? Well, slugs don't do particularly well against salt. Why not?

Have you ever seen a salt applied to slug? No. I don't think I've seen, outside of Lufty, I don't think I've seen a slug my entire life. Oh, well, the next time we see a slug, if you have some salt...

Don't. Don't do that. No, don't do that. It will be bad for you. They tend to melt and bubble and hiss and pop away. They have a reaction against salt. Slugs are anti-salt. They're vulnerable to it if you were going to have a mechanical. Oh.

Are they as dangerous as the Lufti was? Much, much, much less dangerous. Oh. To be fair, I really just got stuck in a cage and couldn't do anything. Yes. I'm sorry for that. And I've really been having an existential crisis since then that I realized that

Even if you just trapped me in a cage, even not as a slug, I couldn't have done anything. Well, I'm not going to do that to you. That is reserved for only my most powerful enemies. At the time, you were my most powerful enemy, so that should be a compliment. Unless something turns Caprice against us, in which case we would be fucked. Yeah, I just, you know, I really, frankly, think pretty highly of myself, and I'm pretty strong and pretty good at stuff, but...

Literally just a cage got me in. That was pretty disturbing. I mean, honestly, if we were all to fight each other in a no-holds-barred, just couldn't stop ourselves kind of situation, I think Toa would probably beat us all into the ground. Yeah. Or Felix would just blow us up. Well, I think once he, if levels were a thing, becomes level 14, yes. Yeah. But for now, I think Toa would beat us to a bloody pulp.

Thank God he's like a giant puppy. I'm not putting it on the side. Yeah, we're putting it on the side. Thank God he's a giant puppy. He would have heard us lie.

- I can't hear over you, you aren't talking. - He's outside. - I need to be able to see the birds. - Are you just like a mound of like, eye sticks and we're like, zipping coffee around you? - We can stand two feet away from you. - I'll jump, I'll jump like the cats in the cartoons and like my back will arch and my hair will go, "Meow!" - Toad, you want some coffee? - No, I'm trying to look for birds. - We can all look for birds. - I can't hear over you talking. - No, it's not a-- - No, you look with your eyes, dum-dum.

Now it's related to me. What have I said about calling Toa dumb? Oh, sorry. Just sleep now.

I didn't mean it. You're not dumb. I'm gonna start reading books. Lots of books. That would be great. You need Felix to teach you how to read. No, I can read. Fine. I'm not the fastest reader. That's okay. You don't need to be. I could make you some flashcards. The lovely thing about a book is it has no time limit. He lent me a book about a great white narwhal, and I think I could get it done in the next ten years at least.

Maybe sooner. Honestly, there are many that wouldn't be able to do it in 10 years. It's a really, really, really, really long book. It's a picture book, isn't it, Tua? I mean, there are pictures in it. Does it qualify as a picture book? I wouldn't call it a picture book. Let me see it. I can read and I just... Swim. Swim.

See narwhals. Get it back! What is it? Why did Felix have this? I love that one so much! We'll be about it in Zendry. I shut it back in my bag. I'm gonna finish it! Just start. Maybe you could read it to me.

I'd like it, it sounds like a nice book. It would, I mean it sounds really stupid- Honestly, Toa, it would be lovely if before bed you wanted to read it to us as a bedtime story. Oh, that sounds so nice! Sometimes she's clawing the fuck out of me, sometimes it's really hard to fall asleep. Yes, and sometimes it's really hard to fall asleep so I have to claw the fuck out of Lufti. And whatever you read will create an amazing scene to demonstrate what you're reading.

The setting, the smells, the sounds. And I'll say that the movie was better than the book when you get done. And I'll say the book was better than what the fuck's a movie? She's talking about an illusion. Like a movie is like an illusion. Oh, you're making up words again. Yeah, that's what I do.

Have you been drinking already this morning? Let me smell your breath. Let me smell your breath, love dear! I wasn't, I still kinda smell like the slug. I'm a little... still greasy. She's two wines in. It's 6:30 in the morning! Don't judge me! I'm praying! To OO!

How dare you? Do you even know Laporte? Well, you can still pronounce his name, Tuwai Zin. You've known me! I'm always Tuwai Zin! Maybe I'll read to you if you would like that. We would love that. I'm very good at reading, I just want to learn more stuff, like Felix does. I think that's wonderful. I would like to learn more than two languages. I think that would be great.

I think you could do it. I truly do. Anyway, I just need like a bookmark. I don't want to throw pages in. I'll reach into my back, or into my pack, and I'll pull out one of my pamphlets of Anubis, and I'll rip off a corner of it, and this really nice papyrus, and I'll hand it to you. Oh. Yeah. Thank you. It has a nice rustic look to it. Yes.

Is everyone feeling up to the journey down the mountain? Well, I think we still need time to rest, and last I heard, Felix was still working on his little paper trick. It's cold as shit up here, and I'm wondering if we should rest at the bottom of the mountain instead of here in this abandoned spider camp. Let me remind you that as cold as it is up here, we have a hot...

that does keep us out of his elements. And at the bottom, we will not. Yeah, I thought the whole point of waiting here was so we didn't have to go down the mountain. That seems like a real pain. Yes, because if you remember, Felix says... And I do have faith in him, in case he asks. That he can somehow get us down the mountain without us having to do any work. And if I'm going to be quite frank, that's my best way to do anything. Yeah, what she said. And also, like, what if...

The birds that Toa will surely see or hear, unclear. Yeah, what if they get us on the way down the mountain? We should just, you know, sit down. Or that horrible black goat thing. Oh yeah, I didn't think about that. No, I'm not going down the mountain. No, I think we'll wait. I have faith in Felix, and though I haven't been privy to any of his tricks, I wonder why.

who would like to see some magic, I have faith he'll be able to finish it. So we're just very literally chilling up here at the top of this room? Yes. Yeah, I'm going back inside though because it's too cold.

I think we should all go back inside. Yeah, please. You too, Toa. No, I'm keeping watch. You know that there is an alarm in case there are birds. The alarm is... I mean, I'm perfect to come all the way down here and walk into that. You know it's like a sphere around us. We would have to fly into the sphere of the hut. Not...

all around the hut, Toa. But I mean, if I could see a bird like miles away, we'd be ready to kill it. Yeah, but what if it comes out on the other side of the hut that you're not looking at?

"I didn't think about that. Maybe that's where all the birds are!" And I burst out of this little thing that I made, and I rush to the other side of the hut, and I start scanning the skies of the makeup reception. When he does that, when he gets to the other side, I'm gonna go "KAKA!" But not quietly enough to... I think that's a team. Not actually attractive. And are you gonna make a...

Are you going to try to trick Chela? Yeah, you're going to do a performance check to see how convincing. Oh, deception. Deception. Conviction. Deception. Natural 20. Oh my god, I heard it burn. Where is it? Where is it?

It's coming from the other side you just left from. And I run back to the other side. And I'll just keep running around the hut. Seems pretty messed up. I mean, it's lifting, so I can't surprise. I'm horrified. My heart is beating. I'm probably giving myself high blood pressure. I'm just basically doing circles around my eye. Toa has a heart attack or a stroke, and he falls down in the snow. We're basically just doing circles around him. And when he wakes up, one of his eyes is lilting. Aww.

As you see the tomfoolery abound, Caprice, you finish the last sip of your overly watery coffee, sooner than you expected, per usual. It's remarkable. It just goes in an instant. And you see the charred bones of the barbarian that died here. Just gone in an instant.

And Toa, in your horror, as you keep going back and forth as Lefty is tricking you, you do manage, actually, your attention is turned. Out, um,

This is actually kind of built into a cliff where you can kind of see into the valley on the other side of Barovia. You see the flapping of wings far in the distance, as you see what looks like three large snow geese just flying by. They're called snis. Snis.

I think it's very far away. They're pretty far, yeah. They make out with the longer neck of a goose. They're just flying, like, push down the line. Yeah, you can see them kind of, there's a cold lake not frozen over down in the elevation. It's called a clake. I run inside and I slam the door. Felix, you really need to hurry up. There are three snow geese right inside behind me. I'm ready. Please hurry. Oh, you are? Oh, thank God. Okay, let's go. Well, we have to discuss where we're going. I mean, I assume we're going back to Esher's castle. Where are the rest of everybody? Are they still outside? Yeah.

So how do you use this machine?

Oh, well, you have to make sure that this tankard here on the side is full of water. I stuffed it with snow earlier, and once the blue light turned off, which you can see, this little donut that goes up and down like this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you open up this chamber here, and when you put the pod inside... Where did you get that? All you have to do is reach to the right here, and then suddenly you have a pod.

Convenient. I mean, there's a little tray in there, but this is Earl Grey and you don't want that. Oh, I love Earl Grey. You like Earl Grey? Oh, yes. Bergamot is a lovely flavour. Have you ever tried it? I stopped teaching Iris how to use the machine and I walked away. But how did you...

- How do you do it? - All right, well, I mean, if everyone is ready, let's... - Yeah, you figured it out. - Yeah, I mean, this is, you know... - How do we know you figured it out? - I'm extremely confident.

Well, we should go back to Count Von Zarovich's castle, because we need to make sure, we need to inform him of everything that we've done, and make sure that he's going to help us against the Carian king. I thought we would go to Barobia. I'm open to suggestions. The more familiar that I am with the place, the better chance of success we have. I suppose the Vistani camp is the best chance for us not to

lose any limbs. There's no, um, we haven't seen any permanent teleportation circles, have we? I was trying to think if we saw one in, uh, Alexi's castle or, uh,

You've not been to Alexei's castle? No, we were only at the Vestalian camp. Yeah, and you haven't seen anything. I think that you probably saw the glow of magic in the guard tower at Salenka Pass. There's a pretty good chance. There's a really good chance. The guard tower at Salenka Pass, and there might be a circle there that you could guess, but I think that's the only one that you've seen. So, yeah, a circle that I can guess isn't good enough. I have to know the sigil.

sequence. Yes. So it would need to be the actual teleport spell, you can just think of where you're going. Okay, yeah, no, this is fine. The Vassalion Cam is good. We've been there, I've seen it, I can visualize it in my mind, you know, it's okay that we've only viewed it once. It's not really a big deal. Do you want me to inspire you with that help?

I'm not sure that that would help in this situation. Do you feel inspired, Felix? Do I feel inspired? Yeah, you feel inspired. Well, I... You can do it. Do you feel better now? Perfect. There we go. I believe in you, Felix. Yeah, okay. I trust my best friend. You're sure you're more ready, right?

- Yes, of course. - All right, then I need you to, Caprice, you stand here. - I don't really trust you, but I guess what else am I gonna do? - Okay, well, Lufty, just stand right there. - Okay. - Iris, next to Lufty. Esher, you can just stand next to Caprice on my left over here. You stand next to Iris between me, and we're all gonna stand here, okay? We don't even have to hold hands or anything. I got this.

I want to. Feel free. It might help. I need my hands free. You want your whole hands? Yeah, go ahead. Whole hands. But I'm going to use my hands. I need my hands. I thought this would go to the other side and your hand is my hand and my hand is Caprice's hand. Well, then you're welcome. That's not going to happen. It's not going to happen. You'll be really happy with my hand. Okay. All right. All right. All right. Here we go. I close my eyes.

And I think really, really hard about a nice clearing just outside the Vistani engine. And I don't mean like a mile. I mean like literally just outside a nice beautiful clearing where there won't be people. And I think about it. Yeah, that would not be good. Uh,

And it actually says that the GM rolls the d20. I will say for the purposes of this, you can roll the-- I almost didn't want to be responsible. Well, you have to be. No one ever tells you this seems like a good place to build the Yarn Houses. Escher peeks through the crack in the hut with the chimney. One moment. And he reaches into his pack and pulls out his parasol and just holds it up. And says, "Try not to kill us all, boy." All right, here we go.

There's a slight buzzing in the center of us. You feel a little bit of shaking and there's a little bit of rumbling and this sound of buzzing and some blue arcing as we're thinking is happening. It begins to swirl and the wind begins to move as it whips up and then all of a sudden, in a flash...

I'll roll the dice. So, based on the table viewed once, a 1 to a 43 is a mishap, which means we're gonna take a lot of damage and we roll again. Similar area is 44 to 53. Off target, which means we're getting closer and closer, is 54 to 73, and on target is 74 to 100. So really, anything in the, like, low 50s, up, we'll take.

What's the rule? You can't twist this. I was just gonna ask, what's the rule on twisting this? You cannot. Nah, if you want hundreds, you can't. Yeah, we said that would be kind of hard to do. Come on. I asked. Okay, so it's a 37, so there's a mishap. This is a bumpy ride. We're all gonna start by taking 3d10 damage. Great! Yeah.

And then I'm gonna try again. So wait, hold on, but can you read what it does? Yeah. The spell's unpredictable magic results in a difficult turn. Each teleporting creature, or the target object, takes 3d10 force damage and the GM rerolls on the table to see where you wind up. Multiple mishaps can occur, dealing damage each time. Okay.

- I just took 20 points. - Well, we can roll it all at once if you want, if you wanna wait. - What do you mean roll it all at once? Did we mess up again? - We might. - Oh, I thought you had rolled already for the second one. - I'm too scared. - What are you guys looking for? You're distracting me.

- A butt, a pin butt. - I'm abandoning the effort. Don't worry, we're done. I lost the butt to my pin. - Yes! Okay, hold on, I got an 80, right? That's an 80? - That's an 80. - Okay, that's good.

- So did you roll your 3d10 to take your damage or miss that? - I thought he rolled for us. - We are on target, baby! No, everybody rolls their own 3d10 damage. - 3d10. - I already rolled mine, but the second try, we're on target. We get where we're going. - Okay. - Oh. Oh, that's a one. - So we got out of that. I only took 15 damage. That's not bad. - Yeah, I only took 20. Thanks. - I took 11. - Nine.

And all it is is force damage, so you're not bleeding or spliced or splinched like in Harry Potter or whatever. I think my two middle fingers swapped. It's really hard to tell, but there it is. We're just a little battered, right? It was just a bumpy ride. I think my two middle fingers swapped. I would be able to tell if it's mine curve out. How would you know? How would you know? Well...

Well, I have a scar right here on this one. In the blink of an eye, after we disappeared, it's a very bumpy ride. But that's weird to say because it's instant. It's like all of a sudden we were there up in the mountains and now we're not. But you feel a little battered and bruised. Your stomach is feeling jumbled. That's really bad. I've got the worst migraine with the fog. It worked. It worked. Okay. But I'm still jumping around and I'm holding my ribs a little bit. You did it.

- I did! - You did! - I did! And I like give Toa a hug and I pull everybody in and I'm like, yes! - Congratulations! Do I have arthritis? - I'm gonna give him just a big old full like on the mouth kiss. - What, you do? - Yeah. - Oh. I'm very taken aback and huh, oh, oh my. Let's see.

- And I'll start dancing. - Was that supposed to be painful? - I'm gonna walk up to Felix and I'm gonna whisper in his ear, "I can cure wounds that later. Or I can less a restoration that later." - Oh, snap. - Oh, well, it was, I'm sorry it wasn't so smooth. We got a little banged up, but that's not bad for a first try. That could have gone way worse. I didn't want to tell you guys, but we could have gotten completely lost anywhere on the planet.

Felix, that was very, very impressive. Why do all of my joints hurt? Well, because like I said, I'd never really done that before, and I'd only seen this place once. Now, if we had wanted to go back to Sentra, that would have been no problem. Could have done it in an instant. Wouldn't even have been a problem. In fact, if I knew the signal sequence of exactly where we're going... Look, you don't need to know all the details. The fact of the matter is that we could have gone really bad and it didn't. So anytime we try to do that...

My joints are going to get worse. No, I'll get better at it, I promise. And again, the more familiar we are, the better chance we have. So this place will be even more impressive next time because you've been here twice? Yes. Oh, well, I like the sound of that. And I'm going to sit down in the grass or the dirt and just take a deep breath. Felix, I swear to God, there are going to be repercussions if I take off my shoes and all of my toes are facing up on the back of my feet. Oh, my God. Oh.

You would know. You would already know if that was the case. Trust me, you'd be screaming in pain. Would I? I'd sort of hop on my feet. I don't know if I would know that. Not looking at my toes, would you know? Well, I mean, at the Academy, they told us to teleport and go really wrong. I mean, they show us like...

They show us drawings and like recounts of like what happens when you try to like, you know, do teleportation when you're not ready to. It's disgusting. Well, I'm so glad that you experimented with us all just now for this purpose. You joked about casting inside out earlier. That's a thing. Uh-huh. What about hangnail zipper? I don't think I've ever heard of that. There aren't any zippers in the ventress. I don't know if you know the setting that well.

- I look around and do I feel like we're at the Fasani family? - As you're ripped through, you feel the jostling of the magic going wrong at first and suddenly you explode back into reality. The bitter chill of

of the mountains now gone, and although it's not really warm, it is still far more, far warmer than it was as you look around and you see that there is a singular horse, a gray horse, and it seems to be mid-graze, just staring.

And immediately just bolts in the other direction towards the large grazing area where the Vistani had been raising their horses. And you can see no more than 50 feet from you, the camp, the large tents, the large temporary wooden structures. You hear the hustle and the bustle of people going about their business. You're far enough away that no one has seemingly noticed you immediately.

and you're able to kind of gather your thoughts and you actually see that there's a tree line pretty close to you and Escher walks over about 15 feet away to get into the shade of the canopy. And you can kind of see that his flesh is starting to kind of steam a little bit. - Come on, let's join Escher. Let's all stay together. - Why are we going to Mitley? We should go to the camp. - I guess we're gonna stay with Escher. I wanna make sure that we're all on the same page. - Let's hold on to that chair.

I'll walk over and then again, like kind of plop myself down in the grass and just sit under the shade of the tree and just be like, ha, ha. First thing, our number one priority, what is today? We need to know how much time has passed. We need to know what's happening with the werewolves. We need to know what's happening with Avstani. We need to know what's happening. We've got a lot of news to catch up on, all right? With no surprises, we just, you know,

Yeah, I agree. That's all. That's all. And also, I've got to go talk to the Sani. If the Beastwoods are now safe, I've got to go and stop them from scaring children. All right, well, I mean, we know how long it took us to get up the pass, and we know how long, we know when we left here. We can just ask the Vistani when the last time they saw us was. How much time has passed. Perfect. And we'll calculate from there. Very smart. Let's do it. I feel good. Asher, what are you doing?

Well, I will admit, I don't think that the stories passed down about me amongst the Vistani are very kind, and I don't blame them. I think it's probably better for us to part ways here. You go on into the woods? You can do your own thing? I will go find Berserphilis, and I will go find Alexei. Enjoy. I'm sure he's in such a great mood.

But we have much to discuss between counts. Should we meet you at the castle, or should we meet you somewhere else? We'll send one of his keepers, I mean, keepers. I'm sure that they would be more than happy to find you. Eat right here? In the camp, unless you plan on leaving. Well, I think we're just gonna go to that same place, but I guess you can get a head start if we have that list of five things to do. I need to go find Persepolis and make sure he's fine.

Okay. Oh.

Josephus. Yeah, yeah. Josephus. He is. What? Why? He just... Actually just called him an ass. Oh, well... And so I just thought he looked... I thought it was a horse, but I guess he, you know, maybe he's just... Maybe he's just a horse. If you ask Ashley for the key, he'll give it to you.

Yeah, so, well, Esha, before you go, I would like to, if you don't mind, try to learn as much about that key as I possibly can in the hopes that it will be able to help us, without any additional dark entities' help, and I'll wink at him, be able to find a way to help your daughter.

If you wish to consult me... It will take me about ten minutes, if Persepolis can wait. It does no good in my hands. Here you go, Iris. And I will take it. He passed that down to everyone.

It's a good key. It's a good key. It's a good prop. He hands it to you, and you, as you're resting up against the key, oh, as soon as you grab it, you hear, you feel a horrible sick sense, and you hear, Free me. No. And Escher claps you on the back, on your shoulder, and grabs his hand,

Well done, Felix. You're becoming a better wizard every day. Thank you. You're welcome. I'm sure we will all learn what the fuck is going on soon enough. Right. And with that, he turns and he drops his parasols. He walks into the shade of the forest and disappears out of sight. Well, shit. I wanted him to stay a while. I'll send him a message. Yes.

What did you learn about the key? Oh, I don't know. I need ten minutes. Can you talk amongst yourselves? For ten minutes? I don't know if we can talk for ten minutes just amongst ourselves. You know, I once heard a story about... And so I will cast Legend Lore. You're really close, though. I'm just so dumb. But while I'm casting, I'm also going to talk with my friends. We

We talk for 10 minutes. Well, let's actually talk and give him time to... We should, because he's going to have time. He has to legend war, right? Should we take a quick little... No! Let's RP! This podcast is brought to you by our Patreon. Become a patron today at patreon.com slash legends of Avantris and gain access to tons of exclusive perks, including a monthly movie night and a weekly Patreon exclusive campaign set on the high seas. Shroud over sulfur.

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As you pray for and you're examining it, you're trying to get the legend lore, especially with the nature of what the question that you have given Escher's conundrum. And as you channel, you pray to your god, you know that he's weak, but he still has that connection. There is still power there. And in your mind, you hear his voice.

The dark ones trapped from light of day have no escape, but there's a way to transfer them from where they dwell. It takes a long forgotten spell, but have no fear. The lore exists in dark domains beyond the mists.

That's so good, Mike. That was really good! Nice job! Another amazing legend lore from Mike. Or as he prefers to be called, Michael. Moak. Moak. Return to Moak. No gods or kings, only Moak. So can you say that very, very slowly so we can transcribe it? Yes. The Darkhorns trapped from Light of Day have no escape, but there's a way.

To transfer that... I'm still writing of no escape, but... I'm not a typewriter. Yes. To transfer them from where they dwell... Okay. It takes a long forgotten spell. Okay. But have no fear, the lore exists. Legend lore?

There. Okay. In dark domains beyond the mists. Here we go then. Dark domain and... Got it. Thank you. You're welcome. So what did you learn? Well, um, yes, so this poem. But what does that poem mean? Yes, I just recited it.

Twice. One time very slowly for you to be able to transcribe it. Oh, is that what we were supposed to be doing that whole time? Yes. I got it all right up here. Well, that's all that you got? Well, yes, but I think that's great. In Dark Domains Beyond the Mist, that's exactly where Anubis wants us to go. So it's starting to sound to me like Rovanuvia is not our next...

Query, we should head to the Realm Beyond the Mists and then give Ravinovi as long as possible. I think that that would be ideal because it'll give us more rammo to potentially free her from whatever evil has taken her hold the same way the three of you were taken. What if we wait too long though and then there's no getting about?

- Well, there's definitely a time limit here. I mean, there's the possibility of them finding the Raven's child. Who knows if that could happen in the next hour or in another year. - Yeah. - Excuse me, Dan. - Yes. - Would I imagine that my communication with Anubis that his intention was for us to go immediately? - Actually, no. That is something I forgot to mention.

is that I think that you were supposed to hurry there, but I think the intention, I think you could probably see that once the more immediate threat was dealt with, to then head there. So we should go immediately. Whatever you want to do. Okay, I think we should go when the immediate threat has been quelled. So you don't think that the

The message or the rhyme was an intention for us to be able to fix the key? I'm not sure. I'm conflicted on many levels. Sure. Well, I mean, could we maybe, like, stop King Vorark, but then, like, capture her and...

Somehow restrain her while we go into the mist and figure out how to free the king? Sure. If she's as powerful as I should think she is, I don't think restraining her is going to be an option. Yeah, I don't want to mess with that. You saw what she did to the bag of bones. Yeah, we struggled against the...

Exothanter. And he was fucked up by whatever he was doing. He was a lich. They're like, you know, he'd been alive for who knows how long and doing nothing but studying magic. And she just killed him. Yeah, exactly. Well, that too. I mean, I don't know what we're even dealing with. We don't know what she's capable of. Well, we have an idea, but it could be so much worse. I don't know. I'm very confused. Yeah, me too.

Well, let's go to the Vistani camp. We can cover off on those things, and then we can head to the castle, or we can wait to be summoned to the castle. When we left this camp, didn't we say that we would go and solve the problem in the Beastwoods? Yes.

How long ago was that? Well, that's what we have to find out. We don't know. We're not sure. Didn't we do that with the werewolf people? We did. We hoped to broker a deal, but we don't know how it turned out. Yeah, I thought we solved that problem. All right, well, let's go. Let's go and find out what day it is, and we'll take it from there. Yes, sir.

You make your way from the treeline into the encampment, and you see that there aren't actually too many Vistani actually in the camp, and many of the horses seem to be gone as well. As you see, it's mostly, there's a bunch of children around, a couple women, a couple men, and they're going about their daily chores, and you actually see that one of the children points at you,

and they actually call all of the other kids around and they all rush you and they're saying, "Oh, it's Caprice, Caprice, we learned your song, we learned your song, we memorized the whole thing. We thought you were dead, it's been a week." - It's been a week? - It's been a week, we memorized the whole song and they sing the entire song.

You taught them. All the kids, they run up in a giant audience in front of me, and they recite the song that I would have written down for the adults to teach the children not to go into the beef wood, which goes a little something like...

Let's all go to the Beastwood. Let's all go to the Beastwood. Let's all go to the Beastwood to get ourselves a... Don't go! Leave! Don't go! Leave! You came here! Watch out! Don't stay here! Walk out!

If you want to stay alive, do not go into the beast's wood. If you want to live, then you should not be here. You are all little bull children and you are made of meat. Don't go! Leave! Don't go! Leave! That's what the children sing. Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

No, no, no, no, no. The Beastwood's fine now. It's fine. Everything's going to be okay. There's no reason. Oh, no. Leave! Go, go! Leave! They're very pleased, screaming. You get the sense, but as soon as they heard one threatening, scary, all they wanted to do was go into the Beastwood and scream that song. Fuck. What is it like in your brain?

Why? Why? Winnie, you are one lucky woman. That's one of the funniest things to ever say in a movie. Actually. I hope it's up there. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I'm trying to quiet them down. No, no, no. Don't go! Leave! Don't go!

No, no, no, no, no. The Beastwood is very scary. Don't go there. Sure. And they're all surrounding you and cheering. Hey, do not die!

They're not dead. Don't go! As they're screaming, they're so enthusiastic. I can't possibly intervene without using magic, so I'll just let them. That's what I wrote. Well, they took the message. At least I know that. That's fine. Yeah, no, we go.

Every day since you've been gone, we've been going into the Beastwood and screaming it. It's been very fun. Listen to the message of the meat of the fucking song. You're not supposed to go to the meat into the Beastwood. You're supposed to leave. Don't go. Leave. Don't go. I'll scream. Very literally, don't go to the Beastwood. What did I write? Amongst the cacophony, I'm going to look at the rest of the group and be like,

I said it's been a week! I mean, I must be only lost a couple of days. Yes, it's not as bad as I thought it was gonna be. I thought it was going to be nearly a month, to be honest. Should we check in to see if, um... What?! I can't hear you off as you're screaming children! No! No! Wait! Don't go! Should we check to see if Sophiana's back?

Oh yeah, that's... that's derisible. Yeah, let's go see if she's back. As you're making your way, the kids finish screaming, "Don't go, leave!" as they're enthusiastically yelling at each other, "Don't go, leave!" and some of them are like, "Oh, let's go to the beach swim!" Fuck! The one purpose of this song!

We did have a little bit of a mixed messaging to begin with. No, it's supposed to be like super charming. No, and actually you see there's a role of little girls that are all good. They're all just...

- It's not clear. - As they skip off, and then you hear a booming voice, and say, "My friends, you are alive! "It is great to see you!" As Alessandra de Cache, the Viscani,

magician of some kind at the very least, starts running up to you. The very large man walks towards you and pulls you all into a large group hug. - I know! Alessandro, how's it going? - I cannot believe you are alive! I had faith and trust in true heroes, but being lost so long on Mount Gekis. - It's been a long week, let me tell you. - Yeah.

You must tell me everything. You look like you need a large warm meal for your souls and bodies. That would be nice. That would be extremely nice. Come, come! And you see that there's, um...

a boar roasting on a spit and he'll go over and he'll slice off a great number of chunks of meat and brings in tray and gives you warm bread, pours you drinks, whatever you want to eat. And you see that there aren't too many people here and so it's, there's like the music that you're familiar with, you see there's one person playing just a stringed instrument off and those notes are kind of sailing over you.

and you're able to just sit down and tell him the whole story if you care to. - I don't know if you would tell him very much about our story. - Yeah, just whatever you wanna tell him. - I would try to steer the story and if anyone tries to interrupt and like give additional detail, I'd be like, oh, that's an embellishment.

Just trying to get the sense of going up to the mountain and going to the temple, that it was clearly there were a lot of risks and scary things, that it was not something that you should go up to lightly, but that we didn't encounter anything obvious. That I would try to make it as spooky as possible without giving any grounded details. Just to make sure that the lore of that mountain is

not obviously portrayed and spread around Barobia and the rest of the lands, but to make sure that the top of the mountain is still presented as something that's scary and should never go to, just like I just tried to do with the children and failed apparently with the Beast Blood. - It's okay, they don't know. - He listens and he's incredibly enthralled and he's just, he's leaning in and he's like gasping and he's very interested.

And he occasionally makes some notations as he hears the story. Don't go up there with adventuring gear. You need winter-appropriate clothing, that's clearly the case. I had to go to the Amber Temple and come back in one piece. Even a week later, still an impressive feat. I thought you were all lost. Pardon me, forgive me, my friends, for...

having even the smallest shred out. There were a couple close calls, but we're back. It sounds like a trying time, but you will be happy to hear that a truce, an alliance has been made with the Silver Pine Pack. Oh, that's nice. Yeah, that's great. That is exactly what we were hoping for. In one more day, we all ride against Zarikosa.

and the Carrion King, and we have been waiting for you. Wait, wait, wait. You've organized an assault already? Well, it's not me. It is our count. And the Vistani, it is not our fight, but there are good Vistani men and women who wish to get their revenge against the Carrion King. Wow. And the Shadar Kai. What's that?

But the... the plan was delayed because we did not know where the five of you were. It's amazing news, I mean it's... We can go tomorrow, it's... it's... We can end all of it and hopefully fix a lot of things.

I don't think... Preparations are still being made and supplies and food have been brought to the Nightbane Cavern. They are being welcomed into Barovia and they are getting the medical aid and the food they need to be strong. At the very least, in a day or so, the Crusaders, the Vervulves, the Keepers of the Feather, we all, even the Abbot, will be joining us.

Wow. That's really impressive. And we will be riding together. I will only be slightly exhausted tomorrow. Do we think such an obvious attack? I feel totally normal. I love to hear that. I, uh...

I want to talk to the folks in charge and sort of make sure that we're all aligned on how this attack should go. That seems very recent and obvious. Do we think that we have the forces to outnumber theirs in such a dramatic fashion? Outnumber their ghouls? They'll crash upon our forces like a tidal wave of flesh and teeth.

rotting stench. But they will be greatly outmatched, even if outnumbered. Oh, Caprice, I think that we'll have to meet with the Counts at some point, and hopefully they'll give us some more information. Hopefully we'll get summoned at some point. No, you do not need to be summoned. You can speak to Count Lexi Von Zorovich, but we'll... I...

and part of the plan, along with you, we have discussed. I have offered my services to bring you all right to the gates of Castle Gloomvale! It will be so exciting! We're going with you? Yes. Yes, of course! My... wagon can traverse the mists. Oh. That's pretty amazing. It is something that my people have done

This is a lost knowledge these days, a lost art, but I would never dream to bring my friends and family through those mists. But after Erwin told me what you had found in the box of Miss Isaac's, that Raven's Feather can give us safe passage straight through. And I, you have ride with me in my wagon

We ride all together and then once their forces are drawn to us and the Carian King is a arrogant, foolish man. He will not think to allow for a siege. He will send his ghouls to us, if we are lucky, even his infantry, thinking that that is an effortless thing to crush the forces of Barovia.

But then, once their eyes are towards the Crusade that rides against them, we disappear into the mists and come out on the other side, right at Castle Bloomvale. And then we'll bring the fight to the Carrion King and his princess.

That actually sounds pretty tactically sound. I think it's a great idea. I'm glad you said that, because I was about to ask if that's a tactically sound idea, you being the brain. Does it sound good to you? Yeah. I don't know much about this. No, I mean, when we talked to Count Alexia, I think he helped clarify some things, but I mean, it could work. Sounds like a pretty damn good plan to me, yeah. If all the soldiers are out fighting, I mean, I think we...

The five of us can handle whatever would be remaining in the castle, right? We can handle a few guards and... And then... The king? Alexei had suggested bringing Count Kriskov with us and Sofiana. And with the... With the eight of us... Yes. The eight of us... It is a small stealth mission, in and out.

That's exactly right. I mean, with a small strike force, a precision strike force, we can get a lot done. If you ever watch Game of Thrones, you can pretty much do anything with about eight people. Twenty good men can do anything. Like killing entire armies?

Totally unseen and escape unharmed? Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Well, I'm only willing to do this if once the big bad guy shows up, I can jump out of the shadows with a dagger and kill him where he stands in one fell swoop. With one blow? Yes. Yes, no, there was a storyteller amongst us who's told such stories and we banished him from our...

We throw him into the fire. We set him to the beast or never. His story sucked. There's nothing more offensive than a bad story.

Well, I'm actually kind of down for the plan, if that sounds like the plan. Yeah, especially if, like, we're the elite task group. I mean, it certainly won't be easy. Whatever's inside those gates is going to be the worst of the worst, but... It is going to be far more horrible than you can imagine. Yeah, but no problem for us, though, right? Because, like, we're the best of the best. Yes, that is why the plan is on you. See, he knows.

Count Von Zorovich is a brilliant strategist. That's why I could trust. Soon as he counseled me and Erwin and I heard the plan, I knew that I must offer my services, my wagon, my horses, and I will bring my two finest horses, Fred and Marmalade. Misha named them. Well, all right. Those are nice names.

I'm sorry about the song that Misha may have been repeating over the last... Oh, it is a great one! Yes. It's a bit of a banger. It is a great song. We talked... As soon as we performed it once, all of the children memorized it immediately. Oh, okay. Okay. Okay.

So when do we leave? In the morning? You need to rest. The silver pine, they are still gathering their strength. It could be another several days. I think the soonest the Count was hoping to leave was in one day, but I think that looking at you and after seeing the refugees from Nightbane Cavern, we may need a few days.

Ivar and Sofiana and the Abbot, they're all here in the camp? No, they are in Barovia. The Abbot is at the Abbey and Ivar is at the castle. Sofiana is, who knows where she gets to. She may be back tonight.

She's not particularly happy about the alliance, but she will do whatever it takes to get to her daughter. She seemed like a very woeful woman. So I'm... I've completely lost my caprice register having sung that song.

-Mate, I didn't quite get the song that you sing at the entire thing again. -Thank god I died. -I just wanted to know where everyone is. We're all intended to organize and coalesce though, just before we go out on this great crusade. -Oh yes, we will all ride out together. Even with our riding and running and flying, it will take days to get to Zarikosa.

And the plan was, if Escher and the Counts can come to an arrangement to send Count Kreskov back to his castle as soon as possible to provide additional air cover with his gargoyles. Yeah. We'll be ready whenever... But it's only a plan that can happen if you all agree. This is Count Von Zarovich's...

best attempt at the plan. What do you think? Sounds good to me. I'm in. You think this is what we should do? I trust you. No, I think I'm going to go home. No, of course, Lifty. What choice do we have, darling? I don't know. I guess, yeah, we're in. Yeah, we're in. Oh, that is great to hear. It will be quite a story.

that the few from Barovia all united in one force crashed against the evils of the carrion king and the carrion he commands and brought down that great evil. They will tell and sing great stories about this for centuries, millennia to come. You will be glorious. - All right, well, could we just maybe wait

somewhere to be summoned, I mean to be... We're awaiting word from Count Alaxis, so we just need to be ready to hear some. Yes, my home is your home. Where's the drinking tent? Well, every tent is a drinking tent. Good. You're well prepared for battle then. Yes. And he...

He stands up and he grabs a piece of pork and he bites into it and quickly eats it. He says, "I must tend to the horses. I will be back. Please make yourselves at home. Anything you need, you know where to find me." "Thank you." "Of course, of course. Be great heroes. This will be good." And he turns and he walks away.

I immediately follow Lufty to the hardest of whatever liquors or alcohol that would be in this particular drinking tent and pour myself a good-sized goblet. I would take my shoes off and put my feet up on the table and just knock back with like a frothy beer and a wine and one beer. You are edible children.

You're made of meat. Yeah. Oh, sorry. Yeah, that's what we need is a good song. That was catchy. Sorry, that was my favorite part. Yeah. It was really good. I really wanted to design it to scare the children. Instead, they just took it and ran with it. That means that there was a really good creative kernel in there. It's got something that people cling to.

Now that we know that the woods isn't scary and it's no longer filled with werewolves that will kill them, then I guess it's okay. Yeah. I'm sure there's other beasts in there. Otherwise, it wouldn't be called the Beastwood, right? Thank you. But maybe Oz is screaming or just scares them away. Or draws them closer. It's hard to say.

Maybe the Keepers of the Feather kind of like help out in the werewolves. They'll keep it safe. I'm sure it'll be fine. Yeah. It's good for kids to get a challenge now and then. More to tell. It's still early, right? It's still morning. Yeah, no, it's morning. Yeah, I would say it's probably at this point, after settling in the Legend lore and saying goodbye to Escher, you know, it's probably approaching noon. It could be lunch.

I'd probably just gorge myself all day if they let me just like continue to eat the like cooked meats. Because you've been up all night working, right? I'm just, yeah, I want a hot meal. I want to just gorge myself on hot fire pit meat. You do? I would join Felix and eat as much as physically possible. I'd probably be leafing through my notes and just making conversation and like, you know, thinking about what's to come and

preparing myself eating and drinking and get trying to get all the like soldier or you know people that are getting ready for the battle to like join in and get drunk and sing songs and start fights and just general like rebel rows yeah

Eventually, I would like to pull Felix and Koa away and find some place private. I would say that would be- You saucy minx, you. That would not be hard to get my attention. I would happily meet you whenever-

I would say that if you wanted to leave the camp, you can, especially towards the evening. A lot of people are kind of coming in from more on the outskirts of the camp and then coming into the fires where they're pouring themselves drinks or each other drinks, starting to gather different bands and playing music.

Or you could find a spot where there's a couple seats where you could just sit in one side of the camp, whatever you cared to do. - I would pull away from the camp. - Yeah, you guys are easily, and you're still awash in the glow of all the fire from this camp. And you're able to make it, it's basically in a clearing, there's that tree line that Escher went into. And you're able to, the three of you, were able to discuss.

The P-Man.

You know who I'm talking about. Oh, yes, I very much do know who the P-Man is, yes. It's very scary, I don't like the P-Man at all. Papa Pee-Pee. Yes. Temple P, I think. Yeah, of course. Is there something we can help with? There is something I did not tell you when we were back in the temple. When you were those hideous creatures, I called upon Anubis, and I thought that he had not answered, but clearly he did.

And he told me something I was not prepared for. He said that he had doomed me. In this land of mist that we're going to, there is an entity that we have heard of. Onkatep. What Anubis told me is that he had a hand in separating Onkatep's car, pieces of his soul, into seven pieces. That number rings a bell to me. Seven seems to be a number we come into contact with a lot.

He scattered those numbers all around, I'm assuming, the universe. He said, "Upon my birth, one of those pieces of Kong made its way to Avengers. It was born in me." So apparently I have part of the car of some horrible, evil being inside of me. And that his hope was that I would never find myself in the land that we are destined to go to.

This realm of mist. I have to go there, I have to save Anubis. I don't know what this land will do to me when that fraction of his car is so close to, I'm assuming, his essence. And so, I need the both of you to promise that if I lose control, and if Anubis loses control, that you will do what is necessary.

Wow, this is a lot. And I cannot ask that of Lufdy. I know she could not do it. I guess now we know why those creatures wanted you so badly. Yes. So they want to, like, combine with you? I think that my fate, should they get their hands on me, would be far worse than if you were to end me.

Well, no, no, we're not going to end you. You might have to. No, no, we'll find a way. I need you to promise that if something were to happen and I were to lose control and Anubis no longer had his hold, that you would do what is necessary to keep that essence of this being's soul from his grasp. At all costs, the seven pieces cannot be combined, and I fear that he has the other six.

I fear that is why Anubis is so weak. I fear that whatever piece resides in me is the last bit that is outside of his hold. And I know that's a lot to ask of you. Okay, yeah, I mean, you have my word. Please don't tell Lifty. I don't want her to fear. First things first, no matter what happens, we're not going to let anybody take you, alright?

I mean, we're going to protect you just like we protect anybody else. And nobody's going to get taken. And we're all going to make it out alive. That's first thing. And if you have to, you will kill me. You have my word. Only if it's the last possible option. Yeah, I mean, we're talking like plan Z. Yes, of course. I'm not asking you to just smite me where I stand for shits and giggles. That's not what I mean. I just mean like, let's say you become horrible and evil, like we would try to, you know, subdue you. Well, no, just kill me.

No, we would try to support you. I promise, if I become completely evil, you do not want to face me. And we would try to, you know, fight. I mean, well, as long as Felix isn't level 14, and then I guess it would be a fair fight. If not, I would be slightly at a disadvantage. It really depends on action economy and who rolls higher on advantage, but really, it's irrelevant. I don't know what any of that means, but... I'm speaking in hypersensitivity. Thank you for letting us know that there is a possibility of something that could happen.

I don't think it will. And we won't let it happen. It won't be a possibility we have to entertain because it's not going to get there. I agree with Tor. I would say, though, and I'm certainly not going to tell you how to live your life, but maybe think about letting the others know. Just, you know, think about it. I have thought about it a lot. My fear that though I could let Caprice know, I do think he's...

He's dealt with a lot, and though he keeps his composure in most... Well, some cases. If you can call it composure, I'm not quite sure. He killed it! I just had the strange vision of Caprice killing a titsy fly. However, I don't want to burden him with the potential loss of another friend. And as for Lufty...

I know she pretends to be happy-go-lucky all of the time. I know that what happened with her mother was very difficult on her, and I don't think that the idea of the loss of a friend would sit well with her. And to be quite honest, she's flighty on a good day, on a bones day, and I'm afraid that telling her would cause all of her days to be a no-bones day. And we need her in tip-top shape.

Alright, well, you have my word. At the very least, they won't hear it from me. Thank you. Yep, so, you know, just... Iris was part of the soul of an evil god thing. You know, just another day. Depends on why. Well, you know, I feel like when all of this comes to a head, then we'll deal with it like we deal with everything else. And if we deal with this...

creature person thing you're talking about, then maybe you'll be free. I read a book once when I was a child. It was Perry Horta and the, uh, Car Cruxes. It was something about this, like, evil sorcerer or warlock or, I don't know, maybe it was a wizard. And he had separated his soul into seven pieces and Perry Horta had to kill himself to be able to complete the entire thing. Spoiler alert, Snape kills Dumbledore.

I don't know if you've read it. I think I'm following. You're going to be okay. We're going to make sure that you're all right. I might have to die. I've heard of that story. They're definitely sorcerers, not wizards. I'm not sure. No, no, no. They're absolutely sorcerers. They go to a school of magic. That's what wizards do. Yeah, but I mean, it's more about how you gain your magic. And when you're born with it, you're a sorcerer.

Well, maybe. I don't know. Anyways. I will take that information. If you read it, though, Toa, I think you'd really like Perry Horta. I will act on it. And I don't want to have to go down that route. All right. Well, I'd like to have some dinner. I'm still one level of exhausted. Yeah. No worries. We'll just head back and...

a ruminator on this, I guess. Hold on.

Are you guys doing anything when you see Iris? This is what they're doing while we're having this conversation. Hey, Vistani, you can learn how to do it too. Watch. Everybody follow me. You just make like a... What? I was trying to get a noun. Actually, what I'll teach you is how to make a droplet sound. Can everyone whistle? Can you go like this?

And it's all just kids. It's all just kids. They're back from the B-suite. And me. I'm like sitting down. They're all a bunch of Vistani kids and Lufty. They're all about the same size. So all you need to do is... Okay, now stop what you're doing. Now just do this. Okay. Now that you can make a sound with your cheek, you have to understand, you have to combine the two things. You have to make your lips do the...

sound, but you can't make the air out of your lungs. You just have to hit the side of your cheek to make the sound at the same time so that when you do them at the same time, it goes...

I cannot do that. I cannot, I cannot do that. That's all you have to do. It just takes practice. It just takes practice. Those two skills combined, you'll get it. Now, this is boring. Let's all go to the beach. Let's all go to the beach. Ah, fuck. Yeah, this sucks. Destroyed by my own success. Gonna kill it. I didn't get it. Caprice is definitely blacked out at this point. Like, he's teaching them this. He has no idea that he's actually teaching them this. I did it.

I can't. My cheeks are too fat for the little like pluck. I can't do it. Welcome to the Lens of Adventurous where you learn fun tricks. I'm going to have a bruise on the side of my cheek. The rest of you get back.

and at this point as you arrive, you see that many of the Vistani are coming in, and you actually see that a good number of them are... have actually gotten some light armor for their horses. They're getting their weapons set up, and

and you haven't really seen these people really preparing for battle. There aren't too many warriors amongst them, but those that are very much getting ready, as I replay the song that has already run out. Um...

- As they're getting ready, and at this point, you see off in the distance, standing around a group of fighters who have just finished getting their horses ready and checking things out. Knowing that there might be a couple days, but just making sure everything's in tip-top shape, you see standing, while a bunch of others are kind of sitting, eating, one with a boot up on a stump or a small bench,

With a drink in her hand, you see Sofianna. She seems to have come back at some point. And that's where she is. And you see Alessandra's coming back from the... All the horses seem to be in good order and they're all fed and watered. And the rest of your party joins you. - Hey. - Hi. - Hiya, heyya.

Yes, hello Caprice. Oh, yeah, I thought... Why were you looking at Luke's day when you said that? I've been here like the whole time. Because I thought we just all just joined you. No, no, no. We joined you. How much have you had? I've been here the whole time. Didn't we just open a box? I rarely say this, but I think we need to cut him off. God!

Um, I think... I think we should probably go see Sofiana and see how she's doing. How she feels about the whole truce thing. Yeah, we should. I saw her over there, eating. Alright, let's go. On a stump like a heathen.

- Oh, so what are you doing? - We're gonna go walk to, um... - Sofiana. - Sofiana. - So you see her long hair is actually down, and despite her being a bit more relaxed than when you saw her, she's actually laughing. She's still completely covered in her holy water, her knives, her whip, her axes, and fully armed, basically ready to fight at any moment.

And as she turned, as you approach, you're very hard to miss. She turns and she's holding a wooden cup of wine. She raises her hand and says, "If it is not my saviors." - How are you? - You are alive. The rumor was that you are dead. - Not yet. - Yeah, not. Look at us, we're good to go. And all cheers are. - Only the one time, yeah. - You're joining us in the battle in the next few days.

That is what Alessandra says, and I trust him. Yes. That's great news. How do you feel about the truce and the werewolves? And now they're on our team. As soon as you say werewolf, she spits on the ground. They're nice werewolves. If you steal children and give them to the elves, you're not nice. I will not bring my whip against them.

As long as we are on the same path and have the same enemy. But I... I will never call them friends. Yeah, but what happens after we kill that joint enemy? Then what? If there is still a truce and they do not go back to their thieving, murderous ways, then I may be convinced to turn my head the other way.

You see there's the little bit of wine that she's had. She's a little bit, a lot looser than when you saw her. She was very furious when you met her. And she leans forward and says, Forgive me, scums. Very hard earned. Especially when children are involved. Do you disagree?

She takes a drink of her wine. I don't disagree at all. I think that's a pretty reasonable stance. Allow me to ask you this. Allow me for the sake of conversation. If you were me, and your little girl was locked away in Castle Gloomvale, and if we are, if she is lucky, she is already dead, what would you have me, her mother, do? And her cat, Terse, who turned her over to those monsters?

attempts to break bread with you. What do you do? I would question you the same thing I questioned you back in your cage. If the roles were reversed when they already had your daughter and they told you you would get her back fine, if you captured another, an enemy's child for them, would you have said no? I would have done it, but I would not have expected to be welcomed as friends and allies.

I would have done what I had to do and leave the rest of my life in shame. That's one way to handle it. I never asked for forgiveness. The Mourning Lord only, the only one who could forgive such a thing and I do not think he would. Well, I would then query you if you lose your daughter.

the same way that their chieftain has lost his. In such a horrific way, you will never be able to forget it another day in his life. So he sequesters himself away. He does not help another child. He does not help another human. What good is his life? You don't want to forgive? Then be pathetic. Then do nothing. Then let your daughter die in vain. Is that what you're saying? Or break bread, forgive, and live every single day

and make sure you do not waste a moment of the life that your daughter has. - I think it was Waging Check. - 11. - Oh, I can pick which one I want to use, right? - Yeah, you can use the higher one. - I can use the higher one. - I'll use the higher one, so that would be a 19. - Oh, a 19, yeah. - I forgot that my plus was a 10. - Bingo. - With that, she stopped for a moment and she looks at you and she narrows her eyes.

And she takes another gulp of wine. It's an eight. So nine plus eight. And she rests her elbow. It's 17. She rests her elbow on her knee. And it's 17. And she says, she thinks for a moment. She blinks. I suppose I forget the tendons of my God. Stay positive and always aid. I will fight alongside you.

Ivar and his band. I will not turn my weapons to them, and I will not even spit in their direction when they pass by. We are on the same side. I'm not trying to tell you that you shouldn't have pain, that you shouldn't feel anger or hatred. You should. But don't let it control you. Your daughter may still live. Your daughter needs you to be strong.

Your daughter needs you to be the role model. Do you want her to live her life filled with anger and hate for what's happened to her? Do you want her to grow up and be everything she can possibly be? All the potential in the world? In a small child, do you want her to lose that because of something she could not control, that you could not control? I just ask, when we go into Castle, go unveil that you are...

fight bitterly and viciously till the end. I will. Until we have our answer one way or another. And if not, salvation for my little girl. I'm going to walk up to her and I'm gonna grab her hands. I have magics. Magics of death. Magics of the crossing from this life into the other. And I promise you, if I have it in my power, regardless of what has happened to your little girl, if I have it in my power to bring her back to you,

I will use it. If it exhausts me, if it takes everything I possibly have, I will make sure you are reunited with my character. I promise you this. I hope that your god and mine perhaps can join forces as gods of good and light. But I fear after the rumors I hear of the princess or queen, spider queen, nine eyes, she sounds...

Far worse than even the Carrion King himself. More sadistic. And if we find her, it may not just be death. You understand? Yes, I've seen what they can do with my own eyes. Death may have been a mercy for Valeska. With you alive, and with the additional power of the werewolves at our side, we will find justice for her.

If not, salvation and vengeance. Yes. And that is not a tenant of the Mourning Lord, but it is enough for me. And she kind of, you realize now that she's clutching the handle of her whip, the way more of a chain, as she grips it tight. I hope that all of you pray for us. Pray for me. Every night. Pray for Valeska. And every day. All of you.

Shifty eyes. How are you looking at me like this? No, no, yeah. Yeah, I pray. I am told that... I pray twice for Lugti. That... That's what they say, she prays for me. Along with Alessandro and us, we are to fight alongside the legendary Escher, consort of my people's oppressor. Perhaps I will make these stories through if Alessandro, of what he says is true.

Well, he means well now. I think he was a different person back then. And he wants to do right. He wants to do good here and save his daughter. I think you two have a lot in common. And maybe you two can bond over that fact. All the stories were that he was a very vile man in Castle Ravenloft. But his...

Sadistic nature was not quite that of his companions in the harem of the Countess, the Rook over this land. But he is known for his treachery and betrayal and treason against her. If he betrayed her so easily, once it was clear that she was losing.

What makes you think he will not turn his blade on us if we end up losing our grip, losing the upper hand? But I only know stories of Count Cresco. I'll be honest with you. I think that it's more likely that he will than he won't. But do we really have a choice? Perhaps we can go to Alexei and talk sense into him.

About what? About having a vampire known mostly for his treachery in the- He will- even in his- He will be honorable up until we're in the moment- up until we're in the room with his daughter. At that point, I cannot trust him either way. But he is a formidable fighter. We've seen it. He will help to get us where we need to go. He will help get us the vengeance that we seek. In that moment, I cannot be sure.

He's pretty emotionally invested here, too. He's got reason to be on our side. There's no reason not to trust him. Until his daughter is on the line, he's 100% with us. Well, I have plenty of holy water. If he steps out of line or shows any sign of betrayal, we should be ready to stake. And she shows that she has three stakes in her bandolier.

I hope that that doesn't come to that. And, you know, just keep your eyes on the prize, as people say. If you're too worried about him, then you might miss something more important. So, yeah. Well, I guess you're right. I guess if werewolves, vampires, all the things that I hunt in the night, we're all friends.

I suppose the Carian king and his ilk are that evil that we ride with creatures of the night to crush a greater evil, huh? If it brings me salvation or vengeance, what does it matter to me? And she takes a deep drink. I hope you enjoy your time in Barovia as long as you are here. Alessandro trusts you greatly. The fact that he is going to venture into the mists

He speaks of it with such terror, fear the creatures within. I know that he does not worship the Morning Lord. I know what he prays to, whom he prays to. He's a good friend and a good man, and that guidance brings us prosperity and safety. But I would be lying if I said I do not fully trust that which he follows. Which does he follow?

His eyes and whispers are into the mist. I've heard only the word maiden. And that's it? And this worries you? I do not press. I asked once, and I have never seen him angry. I've never seen rage come to him. But that time, he was the angriest. Far angrier than I ever could have thought Alessandro could get. Wow. He is very secretive.

I didn't realize that this could be an issue. You really think there's a problem here? The power he gains is very strong. And he seemed to be very pleased with the feather that you and the Count have retrieved. Well, isn't him being strong, it's a boon for us. It's not a negative. So shouldn't we be pleased that he's worshipping something in the mist? If it's providing us an advantage against our enemies? I believe...

that at this point, what does it matter, vampire werewolves? Maiden of Mist. If it brings us to remove the carrion king's head, what does it matter? Yes, exactly right. 100%. She shrugs and she's looking a little bit apathetic, but you can see that her immediate bitterness and vitriol toward these creatures of the night, you get the sense that she has probably spent her entire adult life, maybe even earlier,

finding, hunting, killing, all of these things that she's now expected to be working with. But you get the sense that for Valeska, she would do anything. And she's warming up to you, certainly. Certainly at ease and at peace with the fact that you are as strong as you are, particularly with a holy woman, someone who actually seemingly might understand how she feels about her own god.

Maybe that's... So, how did everyone feel about last week's episode of Game of Thrones? Hmm? I don't know what that is. Oh, I don't know. I just heard people asking random questions when you get uncomfortable in a conversation. Oh. This conversation's making me uncomfortable. Why? It's full of anger. It's very... Well, you know. You know some people. But anyway, um, well, thank you for your perspective and

I think what you said about Alessandro is interesting, but it'll be very helpful. His magic is strong. We can't trust and rely on him. It's good to know. Yes, very helpful. We'll need all the powerful people we can get, including yourself. It's your mind on the prize.

And no matter what happens tomorrow, we're going to try to save as many people as we can. That's the goal. That was on the list, was it not? Yeah, a little bit. As long as we save Valeska. Right. And everybody else. Get out of that chance. Yes. Yes. Well, good night. Yes. Enjoy your wine or whatever you're drinking.

Yes, we would love it if you left and went to bed. No, we came together. Oh. No, that was so rude. I'm so sorry. All of the other Vistani warriors are looking at you like, what the fuck? We're going to leave back to Octane. I'm sorry. I thought that was the nice thing to say. No, no, no. We're going to leave. Come on, everybody. Here we go. Let's go. We're going to... Let's all go to the Beastwood. Let's all go to the Beastwood. And she says it in a condescending mocking way. Let's all go to the Beastwood.

I like very quickly like... I guess we'll leave then. Apologies. She turns back and she waves her hand and then goes back to drinking and laughing with her companions. This has been a long day. I can't get a place to sleep. I still have one level of exhaustion if something like that were to exist in this world. Well, don't you have spells that can remove that concept of exhaustion? You expect me to work on my day off?

Well, we're going to go to bed, and if long rest was like a mechanical thing, we're probably about to have one. Exactly. So you might as well use it and just be totally fine by tomorrow. But I would have to lift my hands to do it and chant something. Oh, what's the rules for not sleeping and exhaustion for Felix? You roll a con saving throw, I believe, and if you fail, you take a level of exhaustion, and the DC goes up the more days you stay awake. Yes. Right? That's correct.

DC 10. We'll just set it to 10. You basically can't lose. 17. Yeah. You don't take any exhaustion. You feel tired, though, but it's not... You've stayed up plenty of... You've done not just all-nighters, but, like, several days where you were studying and reading and...

- The cat is no joke. - I believe like when you went to Zentra-- - This bug is bothering the fuck out of me. - I think when you went to Zentra, I think you were up for like two days or something in a library. - Yeah. - Something like that. - Yeah, it's, you know, my hidden passive. - These things happen. - I want to squish you so I can see your eyeball. - I do have one level of exhaustion already from the transformation, but that's gonna go away.

Caprice, having partied too hard, makes his way into his camp and into his tent and just like... Alessandro has showed you that, you know, the tent that was set up, it's usually for ghastly people that are staying overnight. The one that you had stayed at, what you learned about, Hector Mancrab. I recall that.

- You didn't share the story of how Hector mancrafted you to a Niv-Avistan, I don't think so. - No, just to the group. - Yeah, Hector's totally-- - So you're able, yeah, so there's plenty of wine, there's also food in the tent, and you're able to get a little bit of privacy there. - Is there like a large field?

There is grass around the camp. Yeah, I'm making my fucking temple. There's grass around the field for sure, yeah. Yeah, I walk around the camp. Thank you, Vistorne, for your hospitality. I'm going to head over here and make a gigantic temple to my gold. See you in the morning. And I'll walk over and...

You cast the temple. Everything is shaking. The horse is freaking the fuck out. And you see the other horse, the same horse had been grazing and it's like...

- In the grass, the little straw club. - I love Mikey's horse face. - So where that horse is, I want to create a beautiful oasis and allow the horse entry so it can like drink this delicious water. - Yeah, sure, why not? - Yeah, there's an oasis on the other side. - That poor horse has been through a thing. - It goes up inside of the oasis pool very, very delightfully. As it laughs it off, it is very,

shake him, but several of the horses also, they seem to be, you know, they're not really locked up at all, but there's no stables. And they just meander over. And they do that. As Iris goes, and you go into your temple, and it's exactly what you'd expect. I would sleep in the tent. I would just stay there. Oh, I didn't invite anyone else. Yeah, I'm going to stay as well, assuming that I didn't have an invite. I wouldn't know the temple exists. Fair enough.

I would stay up partying and, you know, going from tent to tent and just, you know, talking to all the Vasani and anybody who's willing to, like, party with me until a time... I would say there's people that are ready to party all night. Yeah, I would stay out as long as I possibly could until I knew I, like, really needed to. And I am kidding.

They all obviously have invitations to my temple, so I know I could sleep there if they want to. I just don't know it exists, is the problem. Oh, that's fine. Caprice is done. He's out like a light. Like, I'm not mechanically tired, but I'm exhausted from my new role as not being a piece of shit. It's horrible. I love that. It's personally gross.

Anything else before we go to bed now? No. Not for me. I mean, I would do some praying to Anubis clearly and, you know, write my journal. That's a junk journal, in case you were wondering. Sounds good. Stumble in the middle of a night track horse ship from the field in three years. Oh, not a chance. Yeah, I probably would.

- No, I won't do that. Or do I? I don't know. - Or do I? - Or do I? All right, yeah, so we'd all go to sleep. - So, you go to sleep and y'all enjoy a long rest. - And I'm no longer exhausted. - I might not be exhausted anymore. - I'm no longer exhausted. - Everyone's dead. - Actually, I think I still have more. - You wake up to cutthroats. You see a horrible insectoid monster in your face. Oh no, this is entirely serious, roll for initiative.

No, I'm kidding. I'm referring to when you were all like, "Ah ha ha ha, we're going to bed, we're not setting watch or alarm in the castle." I said, "Oh, you wake up, do a horrible spider abomination in your face, praying loves at you." And you're like, "Are you joking?" Like, "No, not at all, we'll furnish the door." That was good. No, not at all. I still have one level of exhaustion. If some poor cutthroat tried to like,

jump us in the middle of the night, it would be like, wrong alley, motherfucker. They would be misted, like, instantly. You picked the wrong people to try to rob, you poor bastard. Exactly right. It would be fucking deletive. They'd be like, who took my picture? That's hilarious. So,

You all enjoy a long rest. And do you take a watch or anything? No, I'm just in my temple. Fuck that. I'm sleeping. But I would know whether anything tried to enter my temple. So absolutely no alarms, no watch. Except we're in my temple. And Toba has his kidneys exposed. LAUGHTER

And he fell down in a bathtub full of ice. With a smiley face and heart. Free. Free. Thank you, good home. You... You awake those of you in the tent to...

Someone watching you. A pair of red eyes looking at you as Escher sits in the tent looking incredibly bored. And he has his hand and his face in his hand and he's just watching you guys in tent like...

Intently. Intently. Not outtently. You see him just staring, and he kind of perks up a little bit as he sees your eyes kind of flutter open. He goes, oh, thank the gods. I've been so bored. No! Oh, sweet hells! Escher! What are you doing?

I'm enjoying the lovely hospitality of the Vistani. What does it look like I'm doing? It looks like you're watching us sleep. Well, that's true. It's very boring, though. Well, I know you don't have to sleep, but can you, like, do something to occupy yourself? Like make some puzzles? Or make some coffee? I tried to... Here, I've been trying to make the coffee. Pfft!

And he's just walking, he didn't put a pot in, so I just want to cut him out. I love that there's a magical cure that's so canon and amazing. I have no idea how this fucking works.

You keep saying this coffee is simple and easy, but it just seems wasteful to me and it tastes terrible. Just fucking let me do it. Anyway, what are you doing here? I thought we were going to meet you at the castle. How did your meeting go? Everything went shockingly well. They told me the plan of we're going to sneak into

Castle Bloomvale, while the rest of the Crusaders and the werewolves and the Keepers of the Feather and the fucking angel are going to fight against the ghouls and their infantry. We were given similar details. I presume that Alessandro seems to be quite the respected man with Count Von Zarovich and his inner circle. I think he's more powerful than he lets on. That seems to be the situation.

But I am impressed with Lexi's plan. I'm also impressed the fact that he's willing to act as a diversion as we slip behind enemy lines. And I knew the feather would come in handy. Apparently it wasn't until the mention of the feather that our friend Alessandro even offered to take us in his wagon through the mist. Well, I think that the

Oh, there's... should these specs be floating in here? This is disgusting. That's just how it works, I'm sorry. Oh, it's just dirty water. It's just dirty water. Does anyone want anything else? I'm gonna pass, thanks. No.

Are we there? No, you're in the temple. I'm in the temple, yeah. I'm in your temple, too. Perfect. Should we be waiting for the others while we talk strategy? We're in the bath, and we're just, like, chilling out. Strategy seems to already be set. Yeah. We have our plan. It's now that I am here, we need to load into Alessandro's wagon. And us, plus the monster slayer.

We're the ones that are riding behind enemy lines. Well, if you don't think we need to meet with the Count, then so be it. I mean, I trust your judgment. Are we going today? Lexi is such a bore. I don't think you care to meet with him. I mean, if you want to speak to him, he's going to give a rousing speech before we ride off. But I suppose I need to... It was suggested that I head to Castle Ramornia

ahead of time to prepare and get carving, get some more blockheads for air cover. So I will actually have to leave you. Persepolis is here, he's fine. I managed to feed on some of the beasts in the Beast's Forest. I heard some children screaming for me to get out. I almost said, well, I haven't had any human blood in a long time, and you know what? It's very rude of them.

But I held my fangs. I don't know why they were screaming for me to get out. I do not understand. Did they call you an edible child? Yes.

How did you know? And that you were made of meat? Yes. How did you know? Well, no, it's a song they sing. We've been singing it in camp, too. Yeah, right before we left, I was told to write a song so that people would be afraid of the beast wood, and that was the song. You heard them singing the song. Well, you were...

and the intention was that the children wouldn't enter the beastwood. Because they were edible. Well, I saw no fewer than a dozen children while I was hunting in the beastwood. How did the song that's supposed to scare them away from the beastwood make more children go into the beastwood? I had to realize how close they came to Persepolis's...

sharp teeth. Do you understand that, Caprice? Do you understand how much danger you put those children in? With your foolish cavalier attitude and what the message you put in children's music. You should feel ashamed of yourself. You clearly have never been a parent. I'm going to have another coffee. Are you telling me that you are going to tell children...

And now Derek is humorously pantomiming his figure.

For our podcast listeners, we're doing this pantomiming operating a fantasy curing machine. I didn't realize that they would take to the song. That was the opposite reaction. If you have a child and you tell them don't do this thing specifically, they are going to want to do that thing you are telling them not to do. All right.

Next time. I've never had a kid. I plan to. And this is a learning moment for me. Well, I had some bear. I guess it had been a while since I had bear. It's still vile stuff. But I'm alive. I'm sure on our way, I'm sure there will be a vulture ride or several.

So I have a question. Yes? I'm a bit confused on timing. I think we heard, like, today, then we heard a few days, and then we heard today. I think it was really a question of whether you and the werewolves are well enough to ride. Well, but you need to go back and carve your gargoyles first. But you're also coming with us. Well, on Persepolis, I can make far better time than the Crusaders and the werewolves. Oh, so how are you going to meet us in the carriage?

The army will be passing by Castle Ramonia. Oh, it's on the way. Oh, see, I haven't looked at a map. I think Caprice has had it this whole time. I'm sorry, I'm very confused. Have you got the map? Zarikosa is to the north, past Castle Ramonia considerably. Oh, right. Okay, I've got it. It makes a lot of sense now.

You're gonna go now. Yes. We'll meet you maybe in a day or two, depending on how long it takes. Yes. And then we'll all get in the wagon and then... Yes, exactly right. We'll do the thing. All right. Sounds good. Sorry, long toe. Do you need me to repeat that very slowly for you, Toa? It sounds like you have it, but I want to make sure. I wanted to remind Caprice, did we get all five things that we had to do in this Vistani camp? What?

Caprice, this is five things that we needed to figure out. This is still terrible. At some point, I assume we would make our way to the tent. No, I would. I would at some point make my way to the tent. No, don't go. Let's have a pillow fight. No, you always hit too hard and then I end up crying and I just don't have time for that today. But I can give you more wine. Temple wine. I have my own wine. But it's holy wine.

I do like it when it's a little bit soft. It has gold flecks in it. They call it gold shrugger. Okay. I've done back in the bathtub and it's another hour or so before I make my way to the tent. I wonder where the girls are. Probably doing nothing sexy. Oh no! Oh no!

So, anyway, please, this is the five things. Did we figure it all out? All five of them? Yeah. So, first you asked what day it was. I think you figured that out. Then we asked, did we figure out what happened to the werewolves? Yeah. We got that, right? Then we asked what happened to the Vistani. Did we figure that out? They're here now, yeah. Then we asked, we have a lot to catch up on. Did we get that? I think so. And then you asked, you know...

What does that mean? I feel like we do know now, yes. Oh, we know as in like you know? Yeah, we're on it. I thought we were on it. You know too. Do you know? I think so. I just wanted to make sure that I had them written down. Have some confidence, Doa. Do you know? Do I know what? Do you know? I'm going to feel it. Should I know? Just say yes with gusto. Yes. With some gumption, Doa. Yes. I do know. Gods, I love them, Doa.

All right, Tyler. He licks his lips as he stares up at you. I haven't been in the mood lately, but now there's hope I am, so I don't... Toa, you're not dumb. You've had unbelievably great suggestions throughout this entire journey that we've been on, ever since we met at the crossroads with that weird guy who gave us beer for no reason. Wait, excuse me?

- You've been really fixated on the dumb thing lately. You don't have to-- - Wait, does that sound familiar to you?

- No, it just seems like a very strange circumstance. - Oh no, there was this guy, we were walking down the, myself and Herja, a dwarf who you have not met, we were walking down the street, the road, the travel path, and all of us met together, and a man with a mustache. - Why are you gesturing to the empty seat cushions? The rest of the ladies aren't here.

You can hear loud giggling coming from the temple. You have got more of my clues! Oh, yes. It's hardly cool to me! These are funny.

Oh, beautiful! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We all met at this crossroads, and a guy gave us probably the best ale, lager, I don't know, some sort of a beer variety that I've ever had in my whole existence. It was unbelievable. And that was how we all got to know each other, at that crossroads. That doesn't sound like... Yeah, I suppose, just taking...

strange drink from a stranger that you just happened to meet. I wouldn't do that. I didn't either. Yeah, that seemed a little weird to me. We all didn't do it either. Well, to be fair, at that time, I was still, you know, being hunted actively, and I kind of wanted to stay sharp, you know? It's kind of exciting to be hunted, isn't it? God, I guess. It was pretty stressful. What makes you feel alive? Well, I mean, I certainly didn't want to get caught, if that's what you mean. Ah.

Across the field, Lufti is tingling. You hear very loudly, Oh, Lufti, I'm gonna get you! I wish I was in the temple. As we play naked hide-and-seek. It's like hide-and-seek, but naked. Literally butt naked. No, I'm pretty sure that if they had caught me, they would have done some really horrific stuff to me.

No, I guess it is Kurovaki, and nothing fun happens there. Okay, I'm going to leave now, and do you need anything else before I go? Do you need me to prepare anything? Um... Oh, you're not there. No, I'm hunting for Lufti. Iris has your key, and she learned stuff about it, but I don't want to misrepresent it.

He's like standing getting ready to go and he sighs and just sits back down. Give me that horrible dirty water. Oh, there's still flecks in it.

- I'm gonna taste like water. - You might wanna stop by the temple on your way out, just quickly. - I figured we'd wait for them. I don't want to go near a temple. Do you think I would do well in a temple? I think I'd light on fire. - I actually don't think you can go into my temple. - Yeah. After a while, I would make my way to the tent. Hopefully I would. - I already gave our talisman through the mist to our mist walker.

So, Alessandro's fears and worries should be put to ease. Oh, hey! How's it going? Oh, hello. You hear Iris again. Looptie, I'm going to fuck you! As I still continue to hunt for her. That's right.

You just left her playing a game of hide and seek. You just left. It's technically cheating to leave the area of gameplay, but you know, it's more fun this way. Well, hi. How's it going? Well, we were just wrapping up, really.

It's good to see you, Lofri. I've had some bear, can you tell? I suppose. Is that a youthful thing? It can be. I'm actually a little tired. Yes! Iris has kept me busy all morning, so I don't have time for your games. Or do you? I was interested, and now you've just turned me off tremendously. LAUGHTER

Oh, so it's a hunter's own. Oh, so now, of course, as soon as I say no, then you're interested. Classic. Exactly right. I'm ready. I'm going back to Castle Ramonia to prepare as many gargoyles as I can before the army passes by on our way to Zaracosa.

Oh, Iris had the thing with the key? Did you tell him about the thing with the key? I did, and I was hoping she would come with you, but I guess she didn't. Perhaps we can reconvene once I sit in the wagon. Yeah, well, she said it twice, and once very slowly, so that we could copy it down. I didn't copy it down, but it was something, something... But to Joe's point, we don't want to misrepresent it. Steal her thunder, you know? Oh, yeah, okay.

Well, she's the one that really wrote it down, and yeah, I'll just read it. Yeah, well, okay, I'll just leave you with "It rhymed and it was really good." And you'll probably find it useful as well, but mostly I just caught that it rhymed. But I think it's a good point, we're gonna see you soon anyway, so we can just tell you in the wagon. A few days is at the longest. All right, well, we'll see you in a few days. It'll be fun. I'm excited to ride in a wagon.

I'll bring some additional goodies if I have time in my lab. It'll be good to see Brutus again. And he takes his parasol and he kind of sticks it outside of the tent and he opens it and he steps out beneath the parasol and he turns back and says, well, until we meet again and we crash against the tide of undead, it's going to be fun. See you soon.

And he turns and leaves, and makes his way and disappears. You hear this horrific whinny, and then the terrified whinny of dozens of horses, as you presume Becephalus emerges from the ethereal plane, and Escher rides off into the sky. Well, we're all right now.

all right well we should probably find where everyone is mustering i believe it's the word oh you hear his voice i'm also bringing the gargoyles with me no that's okay that's very encouraging so it seems like uh the majority of the force is going up the obvious way and we're all

We're gonna sneak around the side with the rest of the gang? Yeah. They were, they mustering an army and the army's going to just do a full-on advance straight to the castle and then I guess we'll somehow go through the mist which lets us get through in some weird kind of undiscovered way. And Alessandro is a mist walker. That's a cool title. That is a cool title. I mean, he's very cool in general. And you add the whole mist walking thing on top of it. Yeah, it's like, wow.

Cool! Yes, it's like very cool. Very cool. Very. Very cool. Very. I'm starting to scream. It's starting to take up my accent. It's terrible! That is very cool! It's terrible! I would like to go on the bargain. The bargain? Let's just tell us new rules. Is there anything we can do before we make our way? Just wait? Well, I think we should drag Iris.

At her temple? Oh, no. I'll go get her. She's going to be mad when I find out where she finds out I left. You what? She's going to be mad when she finds out that I left right in the middle of the game. What game? I didn't speak. You left in the middle of the game? I didn't speak? Are you guys just going to be furious? Yeah, I know. Are you feeling okay, Caprice? I'm okay.

I mean, you said that exact thing about three minutes ago. I love you. I'm not sure if this is a Caprice thing or a Derek thing. Good, then I'm writing the line. LAUGHTER

- Anyway, I need to find Iris. Iris is in the temple. You're all able to go and find Iris or bring Iris back, whatever you wanna do. - No, what you find is you make your way into the temple and you see Iris.

Her head and most of her torso stuck under the throne, and her little cat ass is just moving back and forth, her tail swashing. You'll see I'm gonna find you. I knew you were under here last time. You can't, you fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Are we all there? Yeah, you're all just watching that. I just left the end of the, middle of the temple. Oof.

I was gonna try to hide her so that she could feel some sort of form of success, but you know, whatever you want to do. I'm just gonna try to like sneak kind of around the throne chair like really quiet like.

And then like slip under the throne chair so my feet start to like emerge where you're looking. Oh, you found me. I'm going to see how stupid I am. Actually pretty stupid. Oh, look, I got you. You little winks. Okay, oh look, the boys are here. Who? Well, let me get my robe and I'm going to stand up completely nude. I'm just going to walk to the wall and put my robe on.

You see cat tits. Yeah, how many tits do you have? And this is how he exploded in the furry fandom. Oh, we're in the mud. New cameras! New cameras, new microphones. Newb. Never mind. New Ghoul 34.

You just missed Count Kreskov. Oh, wow. What a shame. Well, I mean, you have the key and you have the whole legend and all thing about the key, but I figured we're going to see him in a few days, so I'll just tell him then. Yes, I'll tell him then. All right, well, we should probably... Well, why don't you tell Lufty and I what I missed? What we missed. Oh.

Yeah, what did we miss, Taua? We don't really have to RP this, but I feel you in everything that we talked about. Why does that feel like such a heavy weight on my shoulders when anyone says we don't have to RP this? I have a friend named Benzo. This is horseshit. I don't know, you know, I've been taking it personally. It doesn't really sound like we missed anything.

Sorry. "Nephthys, you're not a birb in a temple! You're beneath the eyes of a god!" "You are condemned!" "Your sword is heavy!" "You take 400 radiant damage." She's immediately smote by radiant damage. Fireballs come in.

So, what is the plan for Thrae, then? So the plan is that we begin to ride north with the army, and then when we go by Castle Ramornia, Esha's going to join us, and then Alessandra's going to ride us through the mist, like we talked about last night. I... You know, Caprice...

I don't have any plans to learn how to be a musician, but last night while I was laying in bed, my lovely four-poster bed with the beautiful silk curtains, I came up with a song. Would you like to hear it? That sounds very luxurious. I fell asleep on some sacks of rice. I would love to hear your song, though. Please continue. He tries to work out a question, doesn't he? Ah, dear.

I pictured it! Don't worry, I pictured it! Capriza standing like this, yeah, he's like, "Do you wanna have some?" I'm still finding Basmati in my pocket.

You look like that guy in Beetlejuice. With the tracks on. No, go ahead. Tell me how comfortable you are. Oh, well, anyway, my song. Alessandro, Alessandro, Roberto. What do you think? There's actually something there, weirdly. I don't know.

anyone named Roberto, but it sounded like it fit really well. I can't think of anyone who would want to be named Roberto. And then I also thought of this line you could put, maybe not in that song, but another one. What do you think? Is it a little too forceful? No, no, no. The progression makes perfect sense if you just musically...

I'm gonna work on these. Thank you, darling. You have some divine inspiration here. Let's go. Lovely. You have some rice here. And I'm gonna pull it off. Oh, yeah. The whole side of me just... Well, anyway. So...

We should go. You should pack up or, you know, whatever you do to... But couldn't we stay another night? I don't know. I mean, I think the whole point is once we're well enough to ride, we would go. And I think we're well enough to ride. We shouldn't delay another day just because we want to stay another day. I agree. You're rhyming all of a sudden. I just really love my temple and not doing anything...

I rhyme day with day. It's not really a rhyme. Yeah, and stay. That's not true. Oh, I did say stay. You said like a lot of words that rhyme just now. Oh, and I didn't even realize. My favorite bard back in Nekbet, Nicki Minaj, rhymes the same word with the same word all over and over again. And she's quite popular. Nicki Mirage? Yes. That sounds very Nekbet. That's exactly what I said. It's so good. I'm

Think of that! Fuck you! That is so good! Well played. Yes, get that rice off of you. The Juna temple, for God's sakes. Have some respect. You hear the...

of the grain of rice echoes through the stone of this massive chamber in the temple. Oh my god. Nikki Mirage, quite the negation pop star. Yeah, I mean, if we're not doing anything, then let's make our way to the camp and head on out. I'm still exhausted.

You gave me two great song ideas though, so that's huge. It took up all of my energy. All of it? A little bit. What's asking Chasing Love to be around for ten minutes?

Yeah, I'm pretty wily. You rely on your ability to heal us during combat. Oh, when I prepared my spells today, I didn't take a single healing one. That's a little concerning. Well, I've decided I don't like being a healer anymore. Oh, alright. Well, you know... I don't think you just get to decide that. That's your place. Well, I'm angry and I don't want to do it. Do I have to call Daddy? No. Don't you dare.

Because I win. Fine, I'll take a healing spell. Don't call daddy. And stop calling him daddy. Let's go. And I snap and the temple goes down. Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! You're all crushed by Marble. You're all crushed by Marble. And you die. You're gonna be like this. Oh man, I can't look. Little Edward! Hi, little Edward!

- It's so good to see you! - Hello! - Howdy-do! - Oh, that is flexing. - Also, I'd like to say that Cardi B can remain Cardi B, but it's short for cartouche. - Oh, I was thinking it was short for cardigan. - No, it's Cartee-D. - Cardi B is the arch enemy of Lord Kido. - I was thinking of Carbohydrate D. - I love Lord Kido. - Cartee-D. - I'm gonna give you this Carbohydrate D. - Yeah, that's good.

I'm like, go, I can't! There's so much I want to say. We have to play D&D. Do we? Do we really? Do we really? Okay. Well, the temple's gone. You got what you wanted. My bath is gone.

- You are all crushed in marble. It is a horrible bloodbath. - I wish I had prepared helix. - All of the Vistani children were waiting to wake you up and they are just gone. Just smashed. - I have a compound fracture in my femur. My ribs on my left side have punctured my lung. - Oh, don't make it. I'm sorry, buddy. I love you.

- No, no, no, no, no, no, no. - This doesn't happen. You see a bunch of Astami as they're all cheering, as you're all outside. Actually the temple, rather than collapsing, it shimmers away like Nicki Mirage does. - Nicki Mirage. - Nicki Mirage, exactly right, exactly right. - It was Nicki's Mirage. - 100%, 100%.

And it fades away and you see, as Vistani are cheering, all of the kids run up and they're cheering you. They're so excited.

You see Misha is at the head, a little bit of like a ringleader of the bunch. And she says, "Wow, that was really cool. Can you dish me out to do that?" - No. So, what are we going to- - Let's go back to the Beast's Wood. Let's all go to the- Oh, my dad is looking for you. His wagon's already- And then they all just zip off into the Beast's Wood. - Let's go to the wagon.

Knowing the beast was safe, I don't say anything. Yeah, let's find the wagon. We can stealth our way into this mist. Do you really think the beast was safe? There were bears in there. Oh, I'm sure they'd be fine. They're just bears. No more... Bears just like to steal from picnics and stuff, right? Yes. Don't they care about picnic baskets and eat honey? They'll be fine.

Let's go. I think that at least most of them, except for the slowest one, will be fine. So it's okay. It's an arts game. Only the strongest will survive, and that's fine. Let's find the wagon. You hear one of the kids who says, Oh, I spilled honey all over my legs. Bye. My god, guys. I twisted my ankle earlier. I can't.

I cast, uh, at second level I cast... At second level I cast "Especially Delicious" on this one. In there. I mean, even "Magically Delicious." "Magically Delicious." Oh my god. I'm trying to help you find... What does the light is?

- Leave now! - Get out! - Get out! - Oh my god. - As the children disappear into the woods. - So we would locate the wagon. - Yes, we will look for the wagon. - Welcome, Academy Kid. - Welcome! - Welcome! - Welcome, thank you for the follow.

You are, as you see, all of the horses seem to be mobilized, or most of them, rather. There are some that are staying behind, all of the children are obviously staying. But you see that, and many of the men and women as well, but the ones that are the fighters amongst them are strapping the leather armor to their horses. They're getting their curved blades and their bows and arrows.

And they're riding out, you see many of them riding out in two by two down the pathway towards that main road that runs through the Barovian Valley. And you see a number of wagons also rolling out, absolutely stocked and filled

with barrels of supplies and food, and you get the sense that there's also one of the roles of Vistani riding with you may not even be fighting, but it's also the supply line as well as feeding everyone. And so this all rolls out and you see, even though it is bright, you can immediately find the wagon that Alessandro is driving.

Before you see him, this large man sitting in the driver's seat with two horses, one a very large, sturdy gray one, the one that had actually seen you teleport in, and then one with a chestnut hair color. But what you notice first is the lantern that is hanging from the side of the wagon right by the next to the driver's seat.

and it's radiating, despite it being day, you can very clearly see this bluish greenish light that radiates from it and it radiates very far, much farther than any just normal hanging lantern would. And it is kind of eerie as you approach it.

And you see as Sophiana is standing by the open door and she's like checking all of her blades, she's making sure, she's pulling out each one, her axes, her knives. She refastens her chain whip twice. She seems to be a little bit on edge, but she's just making sure that she's 100% ready to go. And she has a bag and she throws it into the baggage compartment in the back.

and as you approach, she just looks at you and says, "This is it," and she climbs into the wagon.

and closes the door, and you see Alessandro leaning forward, and he snaps his finger, and immediately you see this bright, flashing, purplish good morning spelled out. - Good morning, how did you sleep? - Oh, yeah, actually really good. - Yeah, not bad at all. - I don't feel tired at all today. - Decent, a little ricey, but decent.

It was very nice and again, thank you for your hospitality. You've been so kind and so hospitable and your food's so delicious. I don't know how we can begin to thank you enough. Yes, your tents are lovely, so I slept in my temple.

Well, it was quite a magical feat! Well, the only children loved it! They wished that they could get inside and they couldn't! They could. But they were not having success. Are they some kind of fiend? Yes, they are! Have you met them? Have you met Little Misha? Actually, yes. That would be the real thing. She and her friends are crazy fiends!

Oh, you're ready? Have you had a good, strong breakfast? Make sure you're well fed. We're going to meet the rest of the army. The crusade is what Alexei, or Count Von Zarovich, is calling it. All I've had is three cups of coffee. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I had a great big breakfast. Biscuits. I drank a dozen eggs. Easy.

Well good, it will give you strong welfare. There is days, many days just to get to Zarikosa, especially on the treacherous roads. But we still have the horses and wagons. That, that can, they can traverse it. We do not need these brutish, ghoulish ogres and vultures. We do not need that. They will see us coming! But that is what we want. Are you ready, friends?

Yes. Yeah. Very ready. I think so. I'm only slightly exhausted. Do you need to sleep? Well, yes, but you said it was multiple days until you get there, so I'll be fine. All right. Well, he looks out at the camp. We will be back. I am certain of it. I feel it in my prayers. I have seen this. It will be such a legendary tale. Come, friends. Come to Alessandro's Wagon.

- I'll be the first one in to be honest. I'm ready to go. - You do that. - I'm running up and I push Caprice out of the way so that I can . - Ow! - Ow! - You actually, you roll your ankle on that one. You can't do anything. You can't even walk. - Oh no, come on, he's now covered in honey.

fell into that vat that the child left behind. You see, Caprice, you roll your ankle and you land on your elbow. Oh, no!

And you roll, you smash into a jar of honey, cut yourself right to the tree line, you hear a as a 2,000 pound grizzly bear, "Help!" You see two claws sink into. You get dragged off into the woods.

Well, that's unfortunate. Well, I guess we're now a party of four. I climb up and I duck and I try to-- I don't know how big it is, but I try to-- It's a very-- it's a large wagon. You see that there's the room for baggage in the back, and then there's a large container. It is your Boeing elbow. And I'll find the most exciting scene. It's like, "Wah!" And there's windows, and you see that there's actual curtains. It's very plush inside. It's very roomy.

Sofianna just gives you a nod as you all enter, and you close the doors, and with a crack of the reins, he says, "Ah, well, frayed and marmalade!

as you hear the creaking of the wheels of this wagon as the horses begin to take off. And you leave the Vistani camp behind. You make your way down the road. You see the large mountains that flank Barovia in this valley. You see the dragonflame trees glistening

in the sunlight as you make your way and you see that there's actually a very large field on the edge of the valley where the road cuts through and you get the sense that there probably had been, this is where a large portion of the beastwood had been, but it's been cleared out

and the army is now mustering. You just see hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of heavily armored paladins, knights, crusaders of the morning lore. They're all adorned in the iconography of

of this morning, Lord, as you see flying overhead, you hear the croaking of ravens as they fly all around, and you see flying overhead as well, although you don't hear it, the flapping of these large angelic wings as that strange masked, hatted abbot flies over as well.

And then on the outskirts of this camp, you just see the rough and tumble-looking silver pine. And there are far more of them than you ever would have guessed from what you had seen. As they're all rallying, you get the sense that they had actually been camping here as they were welcomed in. There are many wagons and crates

and sections of supplies as the men and women, as they had looked haggard and starving before, now they seem well fed, well rested, and healed up. And

You see at the head of all of this, as they're starting to kind of muster and form ranks, and even the lycanthropes are starting to kind of walk together and more of a group as they're walking towards where all of the knights are starting to mount up, their horses just as armored as they are.

And you see up ahead, as the abbot descends, you see where he's heading. You see that at the head there, Ivar is talking with Alexei. So, and you see that Ivar is in his...

his hybrid form. He is a humanoid wolf as he stands looking down at Alexei, who seems to be just having no bit of fear or intimidation, and they're talking. And after you get close enough, where Alessandro calls out to them and they turn, and the wagon stops, and Alessandro gets off, and the three men meet.

and they begin to discuss as the knights start to form ranks and the werewolves start to get in formation. And you see then as the fluttering of wings as Ervin shapeshifts from a raven into a man, and the four of them are discussing. And it's not more than 10 minutes until you hear the creaking of the wagon as Alessandra sits back on and grabs the reins.

and he says, "Here we go, prepare for a speech." And as

As you look through the window, you see as Count Alexei, Alexei Von Zarovich, gets atop his armored horse. It's absolutely massive, and the armor is beautifully polished, and he rides, and you see as all of the knights begin to form ranks, and all the werewolves begin to flank them. And we are going to switch the music. - Pump it.

You hear as the heavy hoof prints of Count Alexei Von Zarovich's horse rides forward and in this morning light, he raises his sword up and he says, "Today,

That's not his accent. He says, "Today we ride against the evil we have lived amongst for far too long, remaining idle, safe in our own forest, protected by the gods, while the evil of the Carian king has spread and become far more heinous

Today we unite former enemies centuries ago now no longer. Today we ride for Zarikosa. Today we ride for Castle Gloomveil. We will bring an end to the evil of the Carrion King. Bring an end to the Carrion King himself. Now in the light of the morning we begin our new crusade.

Just as there was a burning crusade in this land 200 years ago, we now begin the second burning crusade. We ride! And he turns around and everyone cheers and he rides as a radiant blast of morning light shoots over the

shoots all around as he begins to ride. Everyone lets out a cheer, even the werewolves you hear as they're all starting to transform into their hybrid forms. - I yell into the crowd, I cheer. - And they all start howling and they begin to just go down on all fours in full lope as they're just running, as you hear just the ground rumbles and you hear Alessandro is absolutely cackling, "Ha ha, Eli, they second Crusade!"

as he begins to join along with the forces as the combined might of Barovia rides forward north in this second burning crusade. And you travel.

- And what would you like to do? Is there anything that you'd like to do? This is probably gonna take you two and a half to three days to get to Castle Remornia. - I'd like to take some time to talk to Alessandro.

Yeah, I would say you are probably able to ride for several days, camp, and then you're able to camp. You're probably a-- you'll arrive at Castle Remornia the next day. If you look and you see, you can see that a dangerous precipice that it's on, that remote part

of the region that you're in. You can see it very often in the distance as the moon is... The light of the moon is barely piercing through, but you can see the circle behind that gloomy, ever-present cloud cover. And I would say that you're able to enjoy

you know, that it's difficult to find clearings that aren't covered in rough crags and bits of forest where an army can really just camp. But you are able to occasionally find them, and you're here, and you would basically be able to join Alessandro by the fire. And we can see Castle Remornia. That is Asher's castle. Yeah, I just wanted to make sure that's what you said. Yep.

Where is my... What tune is that? That's Barney's theme song from the critically acclaimed Barney's Campfire Sing-Along. I love you. I love you. That's the...

- Or at the campfire with Alessandro. - And you see him, there's a campfire, you're all with Alessandro. - I mean, we don't have to repeat that. - You see as you look around, as you realize now that the Sofianna is nowhere around, you actually look off and towards the outskirts of the camp, you see that she's deep in conversation with Alexei.

as Alessandro is cooking and he's humming a song. - Alessandro, excuse me, pardon me. - Ah, yes. - I was wondering if you would regale me with some tales of your wagon. How does it go about traveling through the mist?

Well, it is the mist. Traveling in the mist is something that all of Istana could do hundreds of years ago and has since in later generations become a lost art. It is never safe. I have held the traditions. I have continued the tradition and

I have studied it more than even my ancestors had. The mist that they can travel through, is that just the mist in this land, or is it other mists? Maybe some more dangerous mists? Mists that maybe surround and shroud other lands? Or worlds, maybe? I ask simply this. I will cut to the point. Yes, please. This key, you see it? I do. It is an amber key. It currently houses the

spectral form of some horrific entity that if let out could potentially destroy the world. Now you see, I... That is exciting. Yes, it is. I spent some time with it to learn a little bit more of its legend. And it aligns with something I must do in my life soon after we deal with the dangers here. Let me read it to you. And I read the thing and then I especially...

But have no fear, the lore exists in dark domains beyond the mist. And my god has entasked me with going beyond the mist to... Do I remember what... Did he ever give it a name? Horakir. To a land called Horakir. Have you heard of it? Horakir. Is that where your god is? I fear that that is where my god is. I have heard tales...

of Harakir. Not much beyond the mad mummy god. King. Calls himself a god king. But he's an imposter in a godless land. Is his name Onkatep? Yes. Yes, I feel. Now, should we survive this endeavor, which I imagine we will. Is it true? Are these just tales? I have not traversed these domains. I have been able to traverse the mists.

From one point to another in the ventress. But I have not dared make my way to any of the terrible dread domains on the outskirts of the realms of death. And that is my point. Should we survive this endeavor, which I feel that we may, would you be brave enough with your wagon to try to help us reach Harakiri? Me?

But! Roll a persuasion check advantage.

Wow

Three threes. Three threes. So 13. No, it's an eight for persuade. Let me see. You're stopping us from rolling more. One of them is a 10. One more twist. I would love to see an additional twist on this. Okay, so you have failed me. You have failed me. So you have a chance to not fuck me. 16 plus eight, so that's math that I don't want to do. 24. 24, okay. He leans in and says,

You should be afraid, too. You should be afraid of any realm of death. They do not call them in legend the Domains of Dread for no reason. But Alessandro Tekashe would not turn down such an adventure after we sever the head of the beast, the Carrion King.

With this, and he reaches into his cloak and he pulls out that pristine raven's feather. You have a bit of rice there. You're getting better at it, Chris. With this, we will be protected. And the only problem is that I do not know how to get to Harakir. I do not have anything of Harakir.

It is, you must have something of that realm. So... Am I here? You're all around the camp. If someone happened to have, like, not that any of us did, but if someone happened to have a small bit of the soul of Ankatep, like, inside of them. Is this a joke? Well, it's a hypothetical. Now, a lot of crazy shit happened at the top of that mountain. We might...

have something like that or an artifact or could find it or could find it could something like that work hypothetically if if we have this raven feather and we have a piece of the soul of Ankatep the god king of that godless realm yes it'll be no problem for Alessandro Tekash well great then we should try to find that I'll keep my eye open me too I can help

It's a cool shoe kind of thing. How does that cool spooky lantern work? That bluish greenish kind of glowy one that doesn't really like, I mean, light, but it kind of does. I'll stand up and like tap it. Oh, please be careful. Oh. As you hit it, you hear...

As you kind of hear these very soft wails as it goes in and out, you see this slight mist. This mist of this ghastly bluish green light with each one. And he says, be careful. Sorry. These are incredibly rare. This allows me to use its light and power to enter the mist.

- Having this-- - He's cast Shatter on the lantern. - Having this, do not beg. I am good with a knife. As he

as he waves his hand in a puff of purple magic, you see, you actually see the wagon running through mist. You see these horrible creatures on all sides as they seem to be repelled, repelled on either side by this light from the lantern. And he says, "This

This is very neat. And permission from who?

Yes, that was really vague and intriguing. I think it's important. Well, Alessandra of the Kash is intriguing. And mystery is good for the imagination. But I think we are all hungry. And we all need a good meal. We're going to reunite with our good friend Escher tomorrow. And our great second burning crusade will be at its full strength. Well, thank you for this conversation.

You've eased my mind greatly. You've exited mine! Lovely, I'm glad we could be of help to each other. This is good. This is a good attitude. I like this. Love you, too. But let's eat. You eat. And the next day... And sing. And sing. You're able to do that.

The next day you ride and you see... And you, once again, as you're going through, the more north you get, you're seeing more castles off in the distance. You're seeing the vulture riders. And, um...

and you see that they seem to be keeping away from you. As you look up ahead, you see the ravens flying around. You actually see as some are in a strange hybrid form flying on these large humanoid wings, these humanoid raven-like creatures. However, you do occasionally see one get too close and several ravens and the

rocket towards them, and you see a flash of light, and you see a bird and an elf flying, or falling into the woods beyond. Damn. And as you approach, you look up, as you approach, and you're riding on the main road up through the north of Skathroneel.

you see very far off in the distance, almost shrouded by all the different peaks, but you see the top of that. You then see flying in

just dozens taking off from Castle, um, taking off from Castle Remornia. You see dozens of winged creatures taken to the air and begin to descend towards you as you see gargoyle after gargoyle after gargoyle, these large, looming, uh, hunchbacked creatures, uh, flying through the air, and you see a, uh,

You see riding along with them that familiar silhouette of Bocephalus, blazing this trail of hellish fire, as you see Escher atop it with his legion of gargoyles, and the gargoyles fly in. You hear the crackling and grumbling of stone as the gargoyles join the forces of the ravens.

and the abbot as they all fly together. And you see as Becephalus rides down and almost effortlessly Escher leaps off and he grabs onto the side of the wagon, kicks the door open and slides in and closes it. And you hear a voice as you say, "Oh, good luck on your crusade. "It's very exciting, master. "I know friendless meepers

And you see as Becephalus lowers and rides alongside, you see Brutus riding Becephalus as he rides and he says, "Oh, hello Brutus. Oh, it's been so long. It's good to see you." "Oh, it's good to see you too. It's very nice. Have a lovely crusade and I'll make sure you have a comfortable bed and a comfortable, a delicious meal away when you get back."

Our board game still better be there when we get back! And he just turns. You better not have lost any of the pieces, Brutus! I swear to God, if Knobly is missing any of the money, I'll know. There's gotta be 32 goddamn greenhouses in that set!

as he rides off with Persepolis, and you see just these dozens of gargoyles, and as Escher

As Escher reaches into the pack that he has, he throws it onto where all the other baggage is, as he throws out a great number of these gleaming vials. As you each get three Greater Healing Potions. Goddamn. And he says, I told you, we need supply. That's so nice. I had to use most of the reagents to...

get as many goggles as we could because I have a feeling we're going to need the hair cover. - Greater, you say? - Yep, and you see as, and he says, and you see him look and his eyes meet with Sofiane's.

I don't think I've had the pleasure of your acquaintance. And she narrows her eyes and says, do not get any closer to me, creature of the night. I will fight alongside of you, but do not lay a single hand on me. And he has his hand outstretched. Points well taken. I do like that fire. Is that the morning, Lord, or is that your soul?

And she says, and she just says, "I prefer to ride in silence." - Okay. - I suppose. - As he just looks over and you continue northward. Anything else you'd like to do now that Esher is with you all? - No. - Are you transcribing your spells this whole time? - Yeah, so I was just waiting for an appropriate moment.

- Well, I can only transcribe one more. I'm out of gold. - Okay. - It's very expensive, very expensive. - If you need gold, Felix. - That's why I asked. - I need gold. - Felix, I'm the Pharaoh's daughter.

Yeah, I know. What do I need of gold? It's, I mean, you know, out of character, it would also take me a really long time to do all these anyway, so I'd probably only get one or two of them done regardless. You're going to need to get them done eventually. Yeah, I mean... We're going into a land of mist. Well, then how about if I need the money, I'll ask...

Are you going to ask? Yeah, just, you know... How much honey do you need, Phoenix? Well, I don't know off the top of my head. I mean... Aren't you good at math? You're super smart. I'm just saying, you know, I already did two of the spells. That was 1,500 bucks. 1,500 gold pieces. What's a buck? Sorry, that's just a... It's not like a deer. It's very late. I did have some deer. It's a Gorovakian thing. Oh, I would let you know that I managed to find a few Voltroni. I'm talking to Phoenix. Oh, I just had a delicious meal. I thought you'd know.

He was very anxious. No, it's fine. You know, I've spent a few last few days doing, you know, one of them because it still would have been 14 hours the last one. You know, it'll be another 14 hours for the next one, another 750 gold. He has 3,000 gold pieces and I hand him a small sack. Oh my goodness. I don't need all this. I don't want to carry all this.

Okay, Lazy, give me the gold back. I give you back, um... Okay, Lazy. 2,500 of the 3,000. I keep 500 of it. This will help me for the next one, and it's going to take a while anyway. I just, you know, do it as we need it. You need to make him dance or anything. No, I would not. Have you seen him dance before? It's horrifying. Yeah, it's hilarious. It's just sort of like... That is fucked up.

I don't know, like, realistically, how long it would take me to do all this is like a lot more time than we're spending on the road. What was that?

Realistically, how long it would take me to do all of these is a lot more time than we have. Yeah, and so whatever you can get done. I would say that I did one more level seven over the course of a couple days. I would say it's a full seven days to get from Barovia to Zaracosa. On foot, or on traveling on land, on wagon, also camping to give the armies enough rest. And that's at a crazy fast pace that you're going. All right, I'll do some math with you.

I would be along this journey basically anytime we're stopping or camping or anything like my sole goal would be to continue what I was doing in the Vistani camp but trying to like get all these different factions of people to like interact and have a good time together and bond together along the road.

Yeah, I would say make a general persuasion check. Can I add advantage to that? Because I absolutely would be doing this one thing. I would be 100% devoting my time to being as busy as possible now that we've landed and we've gotten free of the mountain and we're on our way on this path. I would just want everyone to be getting along as much as possible and I would be distracting myself as much as possible from missing her jerks.

- Yeah. - Aw. - I'd be like going around and like being like, you know who you would love to meet? Oh my God. And then just like making friends and like- - We're being super social, yeah. - Yeah. - And like Ivar would say, "Hey, I know these fucking people. "Hey, they're friends of mine. "That's why we're all here. "Yeah, okay." And he like actually might be sitting down with them. - I think I actually really gets down with Ivar. - Yeah, I think he will. He fucking drinks, yeah.

- 21. - 21, okay. I would say that you're actually able to assist. When you first started the journey, there was still some tension between the Barovians and the werewolves and the lycanthropes, but the more that you're able to help, you see that they're getting a little bit warmer, especially the booze helps when they're drinking. You get a sense that Alexei's not super happy about that, but he doesn't say anything, especially with the lycanthropes enjoying it as much as they do.

And he's like, you know, these people are a lot fucking better than these dour morning little motherfuckers, you know what I'm saying? Ah, they're okay, they're all right. And so you're able to help, you're able to do that. And even though you can tell there's sadness and pain from losing Fiona, you get the sense that he's keeping himself determined and focused on the task at hand.

Anything else as you ride, you start to see, you see the castles off to the side where all the, you don't know how many counts, dozens of counts perhaps.

of, or perhaps at least two dozen counts of this with their own small little feudal villages. - But they're not joining us, these feudal villages? - No, they are all, it's all just basically a few shatter kai and a lot of ghouls, basically. And you get the sense that it's all very insular for each of these small, these castles. - Okay, so we're weaving our way through.

Yeah, and you get the sense where you may have found like a an undead or like a patch of ghouls and this crusader just cut them down Anyone who is unwise enough to to be in your path is effortlessly destroyed Probably fills us with a lot of confidence that we might not benefit from when we arrive at our destination

I would be thinking about what the actual risk and threat of what our plans are, because I know that there's going to be a frontal force that is likely a distraction while we go from this. I'm really concerned about that frontal force. As I'm talking to people, as I'm talking to especially the folks who are in a tactical, strategic place, do I get a sense that they...

that the Frenel Force is just a distraction, something that they know that they're throwing sacrifices at, or do I just... I think it's in the sense that it'll be evenly matched. Then it actually might be an even match. I think the idea is it'll be an even match. They get the sense that they will be outnumbered, but just very much outnumbered.

Every single werewolf in this, every single silver pine in Crusader is worth at least a dozen or more ghouls, right? And, you know, the infantry... And based on our experience over this journey, we might actually really believe that about ourselves. I would say, yeah. Okay. Caprice would believe it then. Thank you. Okay. That's all I'm doing. You ride and you see, finally, Zaracosa. Will that change the music? Okay.

Oh boy, two fell. As you ride, you know that this is the day of the assault. You've been preparing, you've steeled yourself. And you see now Zarokosa sprawling before you between two mountains, but far larger than Barovia.

You're riding into a valley where this massive city is sprawled out of this dark stone built up with this very strange geometry.

that looks almost otherworldly as it rises up in these tall spires and looming, leering statues, as you can see. And you see the very center of this massive city of dark stone with huge walls. You see an enormous castle. You see what looks like

more than 20 different spires and turrets just on the castle. It puts Castle Remornia to absolute shame. It puts Castle Monrovia to shame. As it absolutely dwarfs everything you've seen before. As the cloud cover

is still dense and thick here. You continue to ride as the castle rises up larger and larger and looms higher the closer you get. And you see that there's lights flickering in this city. And it's hard to believe that normal, everyday people live here. You've seen a massive...

fortress-like city in Zentra, but it still felt like a lived-in city where normal people might live. This looks otherworldly. It looks... The geometry, the architecture, the colors, everything looks off. And you see massive gates, and as you see that, although the cloud cover is thick, you still just see the very small and thin outline of what you presume... Is it the moon? Full moon? Is it the sun?

It's hard to tell. But then it's covered by... Does it have a hag's face? It's covered by a massive cloud. And the cloud gets larger and larger. And you realize that it's not a cloud. It's rhinoceros, isn't it? It's a massive swarm of giant vultures. Dozens, perhaps hundreds.

as they fly towards you, and as you ride, the sky is darkened even more as hundreds of vulture riders take to the sky and fly towards you. And you then hear rumbling as you look out towards the darkness of the walls.

You feel and hear the rumbling of the ground that is now interspersed with the charging and thundering of hooves and wolf paws that rockets towards Zaracosa, and a massive tidal wave approaches, and you see it growing larger and larger and larger. Oh, god. But this isn't water. This is flesh and tooth and tongue, ghastly grays and whites of ghouls.

Thousands of ghouls shamble towards you, and you hear the occasional as you see the ghoul ogres. And not just that, you see some that are looming tall amidst this tidal wave of undead that are moving towards you. As you see two-headed ettins also turned, massive mouths, tongues slavering out.

And as this massive force of undead is crashing towards you, you, you, it's dark. But then suddenly you hear a voice boom out with magic. Morning, Lord. Bring dawn to this evil world.

as you see the blast, the raging blast of morning as the clouds open up and you see as the abbot raises a large mace and Alexei Von Zarovich raises his sword

and the clouds open up and a sun, you're not sure what time of day it is, or if it's the night, but a sunbeam blasts into it and you hear the hissing amongst the slough, this ravenous swarm of undead, a horde of undead, you hear now shrieking in pain as...

It then buckles and breaks and slows as they crash into it. You see the Crusaders smash into its shields. The battle begins. You see them cutting the tendons of these massive ettins and ogres. As the undead, you see some of the werewolves now fully shift into their hybrid form and begin to tear out the flesh as the tidal wave crashes onto your army. And...

and they begin to swarm around. You see now, you hear the squawking of vultures as gargoyles and were-ravens start tearing them apart, and the battle overhead also begins, and you feel the jerky movements of the wagon as Alessandro is guiding you through this battle, and he says,

"Hold on, this is where it gets interesting!" And you see him, you hear him crack the whip and suddenly you see a flash of that ghastly green light as mist pours out of the lantern and swallows you. And as you ride, you see a massive, the side of the tide of the undead as Alessandro rides towards it with his two horses almost directly into it. It looks like it's going to crash on you and suddenly,

All of sight of the battle, sound of the battle, is completely swallowed and disappears as you are surrounded by gray, as you ride through the strange realm of thick, dark gray mist.

You ride through, you see shapes moving, darkness off to the side that seemed to be threatening to get closer at all moments, but never does. And he says, "This is where I belong!" And he weaves his way through the mist. You have no idea, it all just looks like mist to you. And suddenly, suddenly you start to see light.

as it's not the ghastly green light of this lantern, as you make your way riding through the mist, you understand why he was called a Mistwalk. In the strange realm of mist and the creatures that lurk here, you then suddenly leave. As you hear him pull up on the reins, he's like, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!" As you, the wagon comes to a stop and suddenly you see flickering light, but it's torchlight.

You see a brazier burning and you hear now the sounds of the battle, but it's far behind you as you look up, staring at the massive shape of Castle Gloomveil. And that is where we'll end the session. Holy shit. Well done, well done.

- Let's fucking go. - Thank you, Mike. - Thank you. - That was awesome. - Let us fucking go. - Can we have done a hero's feast? I wanna use the gem encrusted bowl that I kept bugging Escher and what's his face mark? - I think that's fine.

to cast a hero's feast down. - I would say you would have easily had opportunity to enjoy hero's feast. And I would say that Escher, - It's gonna last 24 hours. - Escher, Alessandro and Sofiana would also join you and enjoy these benefits. - Cool. - So that gem encrusted bowl is now consumed.

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