Icebound | Ep. 28 | Ties That Bind
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Welcome to Legends of Avantris! I'm Scrimstabascotch and you're listening to Icebound! Here's what happened last time! I believe that you should offer them the right to choose and let the land decide. I cannot offer them this choice. Things are different now. I cannot offer you the same choice. There is an enemy coming. A war.

they would be in danger. The five of us and the ogres of Ogerton and the humans, all of the survivors from that ruined city, are all one you know you try that wish to stand at your side against the coming threat. Let us do it on our own terms. Let us do it as free men and women. Why don't we challenge the Stormfist Legion to them?

Yes! Yes! A fight! A fight! What? If you will pay for this, you are not under the protection of the Princess of Wrath just yet. And pulling out what looks like a clay pot, he throws it down onto the ground and it explodes, bursting into smoke. We gather for a trial as ancient as the ice that binds these lands.

Here, strength reigns supreme. It is the currency of our survival, the only truth in a world shaped

By strife, two champions enter the sands of our arena for the right and responsibility of guardianship for the ogres who came to us not more than a month past, as is my right and my pleasure. I bestow upon each of you a gift. It is a tradition when resolving disputes in this way to invoke the Colossus's embrace.

You realize this is not a 200 foot arena. You are in an enclosed space with another 30 foot titan, Barnabas versus Korovac. All you can see in front of you is the surprisingly silent flickering curtains of fire that Taishan has summoned. You're all hurting, breathing heavily, and you know that a good amount of time has passed.

You have no idea what has been happening above or with your friend Barnabas, but you have managed to hang on to your very lives. - It's done then. We have our freedom and the freedom of the ogres. - Spread the word. Korovac died. Barnabas and his companions are under the protection of the princess. Tomorrow evening,

They will be initiated, and Argent Home, our home, will be the same home as theirs. A new tribe of Drakar. You have earned, and she turns to the five of you, your place. You've earned the guardianship of the ogres, and you've earned a home. Welcome. Did we announce our intentions to meet or reunite

with a human named Daisy. We can't all go. We can't all walk through these streets with all these eyes on us. Tomorrow night we're gonna be busy and who knows what's gonna happen after. Who knows if she'll stay, who knows if she'll go. But right now we know where she's at. I can get her. Why don't you trust me? I can save her.

In the shadows of their shared ordeal, life alongside Kostan offered Cygnus no reprieve from the trials of Drakkar. Though they shared a roof and a name, the warmth that had flickered between them in the aftermath of their union proved to be fleeting. Kostan, his spirit ever consumed by spite, bore into their marriage with the same cold harshness that had defined his existence.

Within the walls of their modest dwelling, Sigdis moved with hesitation and caution. Each task she undertook, be it the weaving of coarse fabrics or the preparation of meager meals, was permeated with a silent apology for her existence. This unvoiced penance, however, found no absolution in the eyes of Kostan, whose moods changed like the howling winds, unpredictable and often cruel.

The first whispers of danger reached the Norveld tribe not through heralds or formal declarations, but through rumors exchanged in trade with neighboring tribes. Silver warriors, it was said. Bloodshed, tensions in contested lands, misinterpretations festering into hostilities. From the south, like a creeping dawn that promised no warmth, came the Silver Dominion.

The Norveld, for their part, saw in the Silver Dragonborn not just invaders, but harbingers of an end to their way of life. To the Silver Dominion, tribes like the Norveld were but a threat to the order they sought to impose, their expansion a crusade against barbarism.

Kostan, Sigdus knew, cared little for the tribe's interests, as little as the tribe had cared for him over the decades. It was not Kostan's words that rallied the Norveld tribe, but his unyielding defiance and prowess in combat. Wielding his massive hammer as an extension of his wrath, Kostan became a legend among the Snowdrifts, an exemplar of vengeance against the encroaching invaders.

Following Kostan was to follow the promise of survival, his wrath a beacon in the wave of violence brought forth by the silver tide. Sigdis could only watch, her voice lost in the howling winds of fate, as Kostan led their people in a dance of death and defiance. The man she had bound her life to became the embodiment of their tribe's fury. The conflicts that ensued were brutal clashes of iron and will. Kostan at the forefront was relentless, his hammer a symbol of the Norveld's refusal to yield.

Oh.

Amidst the chaos, emissaries of the Silver Dominion sought to quell the rising storm, their messages carrying the weight of an empire. Let it be known that the Silver Dominion seeks peace and prosperity for all within its domain. We extend and offer a truth, a joining of forces for the greater good. Refuse and face retribution. Accept and your people shall thrive under our protection. Emperor of the Silver Dominion and of Drakkar.

Kastan, upon reading, crumpled the letter into the mouth of the emissary before silencing him forever. Kastan's refusals were as blunt as his hammer, each rejection a stroke against the possibility of peace. Their protection is captivity. We will not bow.

Sigdis, her heart a prison of fear, saw in the faces of her people the reflection of her own dread. They stood at a precipice, their very existence hanging by a thread as the silver dominions might gather like storm clouds on the horizon. The clash of cultures, once skirmishes of misunderstanding, had evolved into a war for survival, with Kostan its vanguard. In the years that followed, Kostan would command not just the Norveld, but nearly all the peoples and lands of northern Drakkar.

Cygnus' role, though supportive, was tinged with sorrow. She could see the man Costan was becoming, a conqueror driven by anger.

Yet within her heart the same flame of defiance flickered, fed by the very winds that sought to extinguish it. War drums beat their relentless rhythms, snow mutes the march of footsteps, banners flap in the wind, leather creaks metal rings, horns blare. Both victories and defeats paint the snow red with blood. Sigdis bore witness and watched as her partner transformed into an embodiment of fury.

Kostan's spirit remained indomitable, his resolve hardened by each encounter, yet the silver dominion seemed an insurmountable foe. The threat, once a distant storm, now thundered at their doorstep. Kostan, their numbers, Cygnus pleaded. They are endless, and their magics...

Kostan's face was grim, his eyes reflecting with a terrible light. "I see it, Sigdis. The Dominion is a beast far stronger than we dared imagine. But beasts can be bled. We must not yield, no matter the cost." Sigdis felt a chill then, not just for their lives, but for their very souls. In Kostan's eyes, she saw a man driven to the brink, willing to embrace even the darkest of allies to save his people.

"There are paths from which we cannot return, Kastan. Some doors once opened may never be closed," Cygnus cautioned. "And what would you have me do, Cygnus? Lie down and let them take what is ours? There is power to be had, power that can save us!" "But at what cost, my love? Must we embrace darkness to fight against it? There are worse fates than defeat."

Neither dared speak her name for fear that even a whisper might draw her gaze upon them. Though Cygnus pleaded, she knew in her heart that Castan had already made the decision for them both, and for her people. So she journeyed deep into the mountains in search of she who knew of powers beyond mortal Ken.

And that's where we'll pick up the session. You guys are sitting around. Thank you. What happens next is up to you. I appreciate it. She who knows. Damn.

We're picking up right where we left off last session. You are all still sitting in your home for the first time. This is Argentholm and a district that has been gifted to you by the Princess of Wrath. After the deathmatch that Barnabas was able to win, the

Princess decreed that you would be under her protection, and she decreed that you would be gifted this district, effectively an abandoned area that once was inhabited by the Frosthammer clan, who themselves had been sent to Oakerton to continue to serve her in whatever way she saw fit.

The fire is roaring, the windows are thin and high. You are all still debating, figuring out exactly what to do next. What happens next is up to you. Barnabas is horribly wounded. Yep. I'm posted up after eating, and I think I would probably have fallen asleep. I think I fell asleep in, like, the chair.

And so my- You're on like a couch or something. Yeah, I'm on a chair or a couch or something and I've fallen asleep, my pipe is probably hanging out, it's like falling onto my chest and clattered into the ground. So I'm asleep. Um, I would have taken like five minutes to myself to look through my things and contemplate all the things that we had been discussing moments ago. And I think I would basically go back to the rest of the group who was still there in the common area or whatever, I know Queenie's there, and I would say to her, and I would say, "Look,

I think you're right. I would only slow you down. There's no reason for you to take me with you. I want to find Daisy more than anyone. But like I said, I'm trying to be a bit more mature here. And I don't want to risk anything. I think you should go without me. You're faster, you're quieter, you're more stealthy. You're just loud and green. Yeah, I don't know, Scrimm.

Loud and green isn't always a bad thing. But in this situation, it might not be fortuitous for you to be both loud and green. Green does stand out quite a lot in the whites of snow. I would be happy for you to come with me, but I don't think I can just stay here and leave her out there all night. We don't know what will happen. And I don't expect you to. And this way, I'm feeling pretty good. And I can look after the others, just in case anything were to happen here. If I don't come back,

Don't come looking for me. I can't, you can't make that promise. Of course we're gonna look for you. If I don't make it back, I either didn't make it or I'm hiding with Daisy. And having y'all trudging out there into the snow looking for us is only gonna put a bigger target on her back. I mean, how many days? How long? Should we wait? Daisy found a way to get us a message. If something like that happens, we'll find a way to get you a message. We're smart, the both of us.

But I've faith we'll make it back. I just... There's a lot going on here. There's a lot that needs to be dealt with. All right. All right. I'll hold the fort. I'll make sure the guys are all right. All right. And you be safe. I will. Don't do anything reckless. I won't. Then I would just kind of find a place near, I guess, one of the fires and...

sit and try to warm up and just think about what's happening and kind of be agitated and not able to really rest immediately and just kind of looking around at what's my new surroundings in this new place and hope that Queenie's gonna be okay. You sit and look into the flames, the sounds of Barnabus's heavy breathing or snoring. It emanates within the space. Yorner, Tyshen, what are you doing?

I would not be too far away from Barnabas, probably also laid up on a couch or something. I absolutely would have fixed whatever I could in terms of a pot of tea from what's around in the room.

There are both furnishings in the form of furniture and stuff that have been left behind for future occupants. And there seems to be some food left behind, enough firewood for the evening. And you can relax on the couch. There are also other floors and other buildings that you get to explore. But the couch is fine.

Yeah, at this point I still would have been very, I mean, everything is spent. You know, I've nothing left in the tank. I would have been heavily bleeding as well. I would have taken time to wash up, clean my hands, you know, kind of especially before I made tea and just kind of be working on like centering myself. It's been a tough day. It has. It has. And you're tired.

almost on the verge of sleep like Barnabus, certainly. I would be sitting with a small chip of bone with my small knife, kind of just wristing into it, and then I'll get up and hearing this conversation between Queenie and Scrim, I'll walk up to Queenie and I'll say, Before you go, would it influence what you do if I could peer into the weird and consult with the land about

If Daisy makes it through the night. She might make it through the night, but what about the day? I may ask. Will we get another chance tomorrow? Is there a question that I could ask that would help? I understand your faith. I may not get it, and it may not be mine. I know the land, and I know Daisy. If anyone can bring her back, I can do it.

We all got in the same area. Yeah, we're all in the same area. She's in the common space. She just passed out on the... You're just like, hearing bits and pieces of the conversation through... Picturing your mind the family room in Family Matters. And that's what this looks like. I would move to chime in and just say, maybe you could ask your near if it would be safe to bring her here. The dragons hunt the humans. We're recovering. We only just got this place.

She may be more protected out there than she is here. Would it be wise to bring her back? Is that a question you could ask of the Lamb? I'll look to Queenie. You can ask it. I just can't imagine that her staying out there in the wilderness on her own, she's not eventually going to draw the gaze of that dragon or something else. And at least here, as dangerous as it may be, she'll be under our protection. We know that they're looking for her already, right? Like they're fanning out.

You know that you mentioned a missing friend to the Princess of Wrath, but there hasn't been, like, activity that you've seen in the form of, like...

contingents or scouting parties or something like that, that if that's happening, it's not happening here in this immediate vicinity of this district. You didn't spy anything along those lines as you traversed the city from the south, from the northwest giant step district of the Goliaths down through the end of the district that you find yourself in. I require a sacrifice. I took my note. You want some blood or something?

Is there anything of value you wish to contribute to anyone? I ain't got much. I got... and I'll reach to my satchel where I have only a few of these seeds left and I'll pull out one of the fey flower seeds. I can give you one of these. No, this is too much. Outside of that, I don't got much else. I got my bees, but the sacrifice of them isn't gonna do much. They're

They're fey. I don't really know how they work, but no matter what happens to them, they always come back just as they were. We are in the car. I am ready. I'll pull out my little bowl again, still kind of smoldering. I'll throw a little more incense in it and light it. The incense will start to waft, and with my rune knife, I will cut my hand and spill blood.

a few drops of blood into the bowl. - You take half a piercing damage, rounded down. - Of course. - Oh, and would this be considered a short rest if I wanted to use hit die? - Absolutely. - Okay, thank you. - Yeah, absolutely. - I will do that. - I imagine this conversation would have happened over maybe a couple of hours. - I am definitely doing the same. - And so it's the wee hours of morning, maybe 12:30, one o'clock. Those are wee, right? - Oh yeah.

I cast divination

Your magic and an offering put you in contact with a god or god's servants. - That's a big one. - And I'm contacting Drakkar. I ask a single question concerning a specific goal, event, or activity to occur within seven days. The GM offers a truthful reply. The reply might be a short phrase, cryptic rhyme, or an omen. The spell doesn't take into account any possible circumstances that may change the outcome, such as the casting of additional spells or the loss or gain of a companion. If you cast the spell two more times before finishing, there's a chance that it's a random reading.

And the runes on my clothing will sort of very faintly glow with an icy blue magic. Um, yeah. Do we know Dracar's color? Just a moment. Just a moment. Probably not. I don't know if we do. Is it icy blue? No, I think that's my mood's color. Spoilers. You watch as the blood reaches your bowl and seems to...

Dry and almost disappear at once as your sacrifice is accepted. The magic you feel take hold, pulls into your sight.

How you envision the answer comes to you? Do you have an idea of what that looks like? I want to make sure that I'm respecting the nature of your name. The nature of the spell is just, I ask the question, and a god or a servant of the god, or in some mysterious way, I get an answer, a truthful reply back. So it's not like a yes/no, it could be anything. And so basically I'm just trying to figure out, like, if we bring her here,

Like, is she gonna be okay? Is she safer here? Or by bringing her here, are we, you know, it's worse for her here? There are no safe places in here. Yeah. You feel suddenly as though you are a bird flying through the sky. Many, millions of snowflakes dance all around you. You're almost flying through a storm. And you can see the mountains on one side, and in the distance, you can see the almost circular in shape city of Argent Holmes.

with its dark lake in the center, and in the middle, it's the island in this bright, almost like a tooth, the bastion stronghold that lies within. And you can see the flickering of lights through all the windows. And as you get closer and closer and closer to the ground, you see a woolly rhino.

It is galloping. It is galloping forward towards the city, and though you cannot make out her face, for you are behind this image, you can see Daisy riding atop the woolly rhino, racing towards Argentholm in this vision that you see before blinking. The vision fades, and you are returned back to the mortal world. She has spoken to me. Who? How? Thrakkar. What did you see?

I saw Daisy atop a great horned beast charging towards the city. Wait, wait, wait, like, you think that's actually happening or you think it's more of like a metaphorical kind of a vision thing? This was a different ritual that I used. I communed with Drakkar this time. It was a vision to answer the question I asked and I believe you should bring her here. But before you go, remember,

Winter is here. So take this. I pass you rune of protection that gives you resistance on cold damage if you keep it on your person. Thank you. That was the thing I was worried about the most. I'm not from around these parts. And I may...

I have a bit of fur on my body, but it's not much to protect against what's out there. So that will be helpful. As soon as this wristed rune is dropped into your hand, you feel like you've just taken a sip of hot cider. And there's a feeling of warmth in your chest that emanates through and out your torso into your limbs. You feel as though you are walking fireplace at this point. It is cozy.

Oh, I kinda like the way that feels. This is the rune of Hearth and Home. Well, thank you. It will protect you in the wilds. Well, if that's it, I guess there's no time like the present to get this journey started.

Is there a window? On the first floor, there do appear to be windows. And they are pretty narrow. There is glass pane in the center of these windows, thick to keep in the warmth. And you imagine that's why they're high up as well, to not let out any draft or anything and to let sunlight in during the sunnier days.

You also notice that there's a staircase going up. And in the back of your mind, you remember that there are the Frosthammer Kobold sentries standing just outside of the door for your protection. Queenie, before you go, I too would like to give you something. I only have seven left, but a Fireblossom tea bowl. Oh, thank you. If you get stuck out there when you meet Daisy, this won't help, but it'll be very delicious. If you get it right...

You steep it at 150 for no more than 4 minutes and 59 seconds. You pour immediately. How will I know if it's 150? It'll feel right in your soul. Okay? Okay. If the steam starts to rise, you're there. If it bubbles, you've gone too far. Alright. Okay? No bubbles, steam rise. If you get it right, you're in the wilds.

It'll be the best cup of tea you've ever had. And I just put it, I just do this in a wooden cup? Give it back. I'm kidding! I put it in with my flower seeds. You can hold it. You can keep it. We'll figure it out. Daisy, now figure it out. The Valley of the Setting Sun being the only place with the imperial measurements for temperature, you wouldn't have understood 150. Everyone else talks in Celsius. Yeah, I had no idea what he was talking about. It will be exactly 48 degrees Celsius.

I'm sorry, what? Nice. What form of measurement do they use in the Honey Feywilds? Oh, cups, spoons. It'll be... Hot, cold. Seven ogres of degrees of heat. Super hot, really fucking hot. Seven torchlights of degree of heat. Carrots. Oh, in that case...

15 carats of heat. - That's a lot of fucking carats. - Well, don't overdo it. - I'll do my best. - Don't reach 16, if you're there, don't even drink it. - It's right out. - It's a waste. Throw it right out. - I'll try not to waste it. - And you'll never use anything but the magic system. - All right, well.

I wasn't nervous before, but this makes me nervous. It'll be fine. And so...

There are glass panes on the windows. The windows are not openable. They do appear to be openable. It's just that they're thin enough that you'd have to squeeze through after pushing them open. Yeah. If you... Let's say that you took the time to explore the house once you first arrived. You remember that there's a bedroom with a double window up there that'll allow you to hop onto the first rooftop of this particular building or structure that you find yourself in. Yeah, so I would...

If I had done that, I would aim to go to that place. But before I do... Unless you want to go out the front door and alert the guards.

- No, no, no, no, no. I was planning on going out a window, but if there's a more accessible way to get to the roofs, Queenie would-- - You find that. - 100% do that. - It would not be hard. - And so as Queenie's making her way towards whatever exit leads to that, the stairwell that leads to that. - You walk up the stairs, you find the room. - Queenie would start to move that way and then stop for a minute and then turn and look back at everyone, at Barnabo snoring and Scrim, Tyshen.

It's about an hour there and an hour back. I shouldn't be hindered by the terrain since I'm not taking my green friend. So hopefully, all things considered, I should be back in three hours, just give or take, things happening on the way. I love you guys. And then I'm going to cast Pass Without a Trace. And I'm going to do it with five twists, if you'll allow me.

Is there a check or you just cast it? I think you just cast it. I cast it, but I have to roll a stealth check. Oh, for your stealth check. Yes. You reach the top of the stairs and in the couple steps backwards that you make, just as you pull out a view, the four of you, the three of you who are still awake, look up and it is like watching her become her shadow.

you disappear into the dark of the upper area, unlit candles being what they are, and you begin to steal. - Natural 20. - The world forgets your name. - Natural fucking 20. - Plus 15, so 35. - No, plus add your stealth. - Oh, oh, plus nine on top of that, so 35, 44. - Have we ever gotten a 40 fucking? - No, no. - Literally never. - For an hour, my stealth is 44.

Farewell. I'll just walk you through what happened. Like quakes in fear, the sound of your name. I'm using my B dice. We'll say that holds for the hour there. And you push open the window panes.

completely silently, the perfect speed in order to avoid any squeaking or sound. You look out and you can see the bright lights of the district to the east. You can see the bright lights, the darkness of Winter Market and the neighboring district to the west. And you stare south.

There are a number of buildings in this area, this new neighborhood that you apparently are calling home now and hitching up onto the window sill, you pull your feet around and before you step on the roofy, on the icy roof, you pull back realizing that that would perhaps make a footmark in the snow.

so you conjure your bees and easily start to silver surfer walk out onto the rooftop without making a single mark, knowing that if you keep low, there's no light to illuminate you, and given your garb, no reason to look in your general direction. You feel completely, not alone, but hidden in this position, and you...

look forward, you can see that all the rooftops are totally covered in snow and only about a quarter of this district has been shoveled. The area that you and the ogres have taken up. And you can see some of the windows are still flickering with light where some of the ogres have taken residence. Beyond that, it's a few miles to what looks like a very, very thin wall perimeter that surrounds the city of Argentholm. I need you to make a perception check.

She sits cross-legged on a cloud of bees. And the Dragon Ball Z theme starts playing. I was going Silver Surfer, but you know, whatever you want to do. Challah, head Challah plays, 100%. 22. Easily. You can see that there's a sort of main street that goes through the neighborhood that you're now calling home to one of the few gates that are at the...

that are spotted along the sides of this wall. And you imagine that it's where a number of guards take up their residence. You can see even a few torches moving back and forth, even at this distance. On the side, just as the wall reaches the base of the mountains, you can see that there's a crumbled section

There are no towers at regular intervals. You can see that it is dark over there. And so keeping as low to the streets as you feel comfortable doing and moving from almost rooftop to rooftop, you can begin to make your way in that direction, or you can head down the main street towards the guard tower of your choice. Yeah, I think Queenie would go towards the crumbled section that seems to be unmanned. You...

speed along, dashing essentially forward, feeling the cold air hitting your face and your skin, and you marvel at the warmth that is being provided by Yorner's Rune of Protection being what it is. And you speed along. It's not 20, 30 minutes before you get within a sort of range of a tower where you feel like you might be able to be seen. You circle all the way around to make sure that you can approach the crumbled wall at the correct angle.

Seeing this destroyed section the way that it is now, it connects to you. This may be the way that Daisy herself came in. So Daisy's in the city, not in the forest. No, no, no, just that. This would be the way that she's been getting in and out of the city, given that there's a perimeter wall. Moving forward, you continue and you pass from civilization and into the wilds. I would ask that you make a survival check if you're looking for tracks for Daisy. Uh, 31.

You spy them instantly. No. "He's right over there!" "Holy shit, he's right over there!" It takes you another 20, 30 minutes, even with a 31, but you are expert.

You are expert at finding the tracks of any beast, sentient and humanoid or other. And once you feel that you are out of eyesight and your paths without trace, magic continues to hold you in that hidden state, you get close and low to the ground and a smile spreads across your face when you do find the footsteps because Daisy has been very smart. She clearly is smoothing over the

the snow as she goes. It's not footsteps. You get a sense that there are almost these slight indentations as each foot moves through the snow, but they are not deep. They have clearly been confused or obfuscated in some way. And you take off. - Oh, you cheeky girl. - You start to follow. I don't think there's any time limit for your bees. - No, not for the bees.

It's easy enough for you to start to climb up and along the side of the mountain. Trees are starting to pass you, large firs and pines, and as you continue to wind your way forward and through, you see that the

path that you're following, the trail of Daisy, is a direct one. Clearly she has been this way before, otherwise it might be more exploratory. You feel like you're taking a beeline to Daisy at this point, and very quickly you see, it's about 40, 50 minutes now, in the distance you spy a small orange flickering glow just on the side of the mountain.

perhaps an opening there, a cavern, a cove, some tiny home where very likely Daisy can be found. I would send some of my bees ahead, just a little bit ahead. So I would make my way up to it so that I can get there, but before I go inside, I would send the bees in and have them maybe do their little

B-magics where they form like words for me and they say, "Daisy, it's me, Queenie." Daisy, it's me, Queenie. You bypass two obstacles. You do not surprise Daisy, having given her this

And because you are flying, you recognize that you miss a trip wire just outside that would have caused sound and alerted Daisy to any approaching person without the proper wisdom to avoid it. And before you know it, you are just there at the entrance, able to walk in if you want to. I would listen for a minute just to see if...

I hear anything at all that would be concerning, additional people or anything like that. And if I don't hear anything concerning, I would make my way into the cavern. You take five steps and you start to turn inwards, looking at what is clearly an opening and getting the sense that this is where Daisy is. And all of a sudden you hear footsteps approaching. You see Daisy's face. She looks at you and she, Oh, sweetheart, come here.

- You're coming here. - She races towards you. - And I'm just gonna rush up and hug her. - And you are suddenly in embrace. You hear the heavy breathing, the sounds of choked sobbing against your ear. And you can feel the side of your face get wet with tears, but she can't use her hands to communicate. You just embrace. And for a full minute, you just-- - As long as she wants to hold on, I just rub her back and let her cry into my throat. - Again, she embraces you and then almost relaxes. And then again, until finally she pulls away and holds your shoulders.

You are one smart cookie. You know that? I knew you could do it. Where the fuck have you been? What the fuck? Oh, it has been a lot, honey. Let me tell you, you got time. You have a way to make tea? And I pull out this little ball that Taishan gave me. I don't know how to do this, but I figure you and I can try and make it. It's got to get to four carrots or something like that. And then we just drink it out of wooden mugs.

And I'll tell you all about everything while we drink this, and then let's just do this first. She pulls you in, and you see there's... I look back in the house like, I think I'm having a heart attack! Something's wrong! Something's wrong! Are you okay? Oh, no! Oh, my God. He's in trouble! You race forward with her, holding your hand, and she's got a small bed of coals, a fire, and she's clearly made some sort of...

a cooking apparatus that's hanging a small cooking pot. So with the ability to get water from snow, you're both very quickly heating the water and sitting down on the makeshift, like,

rock stools that she has for sitting in contemplation, clearly. Looking around, I'll also add, you can see there are some white fur blankets to one side. There's clearly some nice bedding that she's made for herself. You can see she's wearing this cold weather gear that's clearly been, like, modified, but...

is a little worse for the wear given how long, how many months, months have passed for her in the time that you've seen her last. You can see the bow leaning up against one side with many crafted arrows and a half dozen clean snow hairs hang drying near this same fire that you're sitting by. Well, that's a little cruel, but... It's a very strange sight also to see what is this...

crazy helm, what is very clearly a helmet of a strange insect-like beast with these enormous eyes, just a head that's lying on one rock to the edge of the cavern. These are the elements you're confronted with as Daisy starts to make sure the water is coming to a boil.

I'll talk with her. We'll just idly chat as we talk through making the tea. We make it to the best of our ability. And then I just imagine over the course of tea, we would chat a little bit. I'd tell her about some of the things that we've done. Just calm, relax for a little while. I've had a long travel. She's been going through a lot. But I ask her to hold off on telling her tale until she's back with us. Daisy...

So, now things changed.

I'm fine either way. I am here, living off the land. I've been here for quite a while. And I've been infiltrating the city. I've been going in, not every night, but when I feel like I'm charged and ready to go, I've been trying to figure out what's going on. There's this massive dragon that flies in and out. Sometimes it vanishes in thin air. Yeah, I fear that I may have put a target on your back. Um...

And I explain the situation with bartering with the dragon. And because of that, I think she might end up looking for you because she now knows you're important to at least, at the very least, me. And she's smart. She has my dad. Yeah? I kind of was afraid of that. She didn't seem to want to give up the humans. I saw them coming in. They've been...

handcuffed and they were taken all the way through and around the biting bastion as the center sprung. I think at the very least if you want to come back with me talk with everyone make a plan together and worst case scenario I can easily get you out of the city undetected and back out into the wilderness. I trust you I know you can handle this on your own but come back with me just for a little bit and if you want to leave you know I'd never keep you. I trust you.

Yornir spoke to... You know how Yornir is, speaking of snow and stars and ghosts and stuff. I thought it was all fake at first, but we've been through a lot, and I'm not sure what I believe anymore, but that man sure has a way of contacting someone or something, and you were riding in on a monstrous creature or something, some kind of woolly, shaggy thing. I don't know what it is. I'm from Yonah. Uh,

But he was not happy about me coming here, I'ma tell you. But after he talked to his entity, the land, he says, he seemed like it was a good idea for you to come back. So, if you wanna, it's warm, at the very least, a soft bed. You don't have to kill any more of my kin. And I look over at the snow hares. Was that... No, I don't know them. laughter

It's really dark.

It's actual rioting, folks. Queenie kills Daisy and runs away. They're wearing overalls. That's fucked up. Little hats. Cute little flowers in their hair. Some flowers for Gornas. Some flowers for Rodol. Well, I'll get my things together. We have to go now? We should go now. I told them I'd be gone three hours tops and I've been here a while. It's going to take us about an hour to get back into the city, so...

Take as little as you possibly can. Once we get to the city proper, I'm going to use some of my magics on you if that's all right. I just don't think it's safe for there to be any chance that anyone sees you with me. If we get caught in any way, it makes the most sense that I appear to be alone.

Yeah, that's fine. Is there time enough for us to enjoy the rest of this tea? It's been sitting for five minutes at 165. Oh, perfect! I think that is exactly how Tashin told me to do it. It's bubbling, right? Yeah, oh, it's bubbling. I don't see any sense that I should have given her dracarion tea. We drink it. This is really sour.

It's tart. That aftertaste is weird. It's just like hot milk juice. It must be made for dragonborn. Hot milk juice? As you're talking about the tea, you notice her eyes sort of shift over and look to behind your shoulder. And she squints and leans forward with a look of concern. Flipping around, I need you to make a perception check. Twenty-six.

26. You look out and the snow is coming down, gently, but it's still coming down. And all of a sudden you realize that there's almost like a snowflake that isn't moving. It seems to be still in the air.

You hear the sound of feet and Daisy races over and you hear a like getting your attention and she pulls and knocks an arrow. Looking forward, it's like there's a globe almost in the air of pure clear ice perhaps or crystal or glass. It looks like a very thin amount of snow has accumulated on this top of this thing and you're looking at it and it seems to be sort of

shifting around, looking like this, and you hear Daisy's breath trying to get your attention. - I notice it. I would not have any idea, like I saw your near scry, but I have no idea what that looks like on the other end.

- You can make an arcana check if you wanted to have a sense of how much Daisy-- - I have no, I would have no idea. - You look at this strange, almost floating ball in the air and Daisy rushes up and through. - I nod to her to like let your arrow fly.

She loses her arrow, and you can actually see that it gets adjusted at the last second to see if she can hit this strange object, but the arrow sails wide, and again, it continues to look, and then as soon as it darts away, it sort of turns and begins to make its way away, very slowly, not very fast. You'd be able to catch it easily, but it immediately starts to pull back away from the cavern mouth entrance.

It's a may of Kilrogg. I would look towards Daisy and motion for her to follow me, and I would track it. The Lich King pays a lot. You-- Because Queenie doesn't know what it is.

You watch it start to turn and pull into the sort of like forest tree line. And you guys are starting to follow it. We wouldn't go too far just to get a rough idea of where it goes. And as long as it seems like it is leaving, I would eventually halt Daisy and...

I'd say you get 60, 70 feet out before you realize that you're just trudging forward. You make it to the tripwire and it continues to sort of disappear into the forest. I don't think we should keep following this. I don't know. We need to get back and we need to let Yornir know what we saw. We need to let Tyshen and Scrim and Barnabas know what we saw. But whatever that thing was, it knows you're here.

You can't stay here anymore. You have to come with us now. Okay, okay. She races in and you see her assemble her things very quickly. She kicks the fire into ashes and she puts on her helm. You actually see her put on this strange, hollowed out, harvested piece of a creature you've never seen before. And she, with a few of her snow hairs in her pack,

Ready when you are. All right, let's go, and I'm gonna cast Pass Without a Trace again on the two of us. Smash cut back to the house. The three of us are sitting around a board. Parcheesi, I win again!

- This is so much fun. - These rules don't make any sense. - I'm good at this game. - I think you're making things up as we go. - I got a 28. No, that's not true. 19 plus 19. - 19 plus 19 is 38. - Yeah, I got 38. - 38, you get, that's just absurd. - I rolled a natural 19. - It takes you an hour to get back.

You follow the same path. Once we get to the broken area outside, or far enough from it that I feel like no one would be able to see us, I would like to do something to Daisy. I had already warned her about it.

Oh, once you reach the city proper? A little bit before the city proper. I just want to make sure that to Queenie there would be no chance that if anyone saw Queenie that they would be able to say Queenie was with another person. And so essentially what, with Daisy's permission, I'm casting Gaseous Form on her.

which for an hour turns her into gas. But she would look like pollen. - I'm sorry? - Bee pollen. - What? - Yeah, she'd look like bee pollen. And so she would just fly as pollen within my swarm of bees. So if anyone saw me, they would never see her. - Yeah.

It's going to feel weird. I haven't done it to myself personally, but my bees will take very good care of you. And so you just stay right beside me. I'll keep an eye, make sure you're still floating there. And once we get back into the house, you can become Daisy again. Yeah. Let her rip.

That's a weird thing to say, and I'm gonna guess. All of a sudden, particles of pollen start to drift. Her hair starts to pull away. You see her hand almost turning to this thin, gaseous-formed bee pollen. She says, Queenie, I don't feel so good. And then, no, she doesn't say that. She feels great. She is a sentient cloud of bee pollen now.

You just see this shimmering shape. You can't get any communication at this point. I don't think gaseous forms can communicate. No, they cannot talk. So what do you do? Just try and make your way back to the house. You start to make your way back, and you have to slow down. Gaseous forms, they don't move very quickly. No, they don't. But you are able to sort of like hop.

from space to space, guiding the way. Because of your shared Pass Without a Trace, you can see that the bee pollen cloud has no difficulty following you. And in the time, I would say 150% is your time. It takes you an hour and a half once you reach the wall, the broken section of the wall, that you're able to get back over the district, slowly make your way through, and make your way in that way.

Oh, that's right, because it's a flying speed of 10 feet. I should have thought about that. I would have known that because I cast it. So it only lasts an hour. So I feel like Queenie would have done it knowing that roughly this is how long it would have taken to get to the house. Are they boost concentration? Yeah. So I'm going to have to drop Pass Without a Trace to make sure. But Queenie's okay with being caught.

She just doesn't want Daisy to be caught. Okay. You reach a place where you feel this Beeballen cloud would be able to make it with complete and absolute safety, and Pass Without a Trace has kept you hidden this far. You would have to make another non-Pass Without a Trace stealing check for you, but I will not roll for Daisy because of her form. 13. 13. Uh-oh. We should have twisted those.

Yeah, I thought about it. I didn't know how many we had. So I didn't want to use a lot. We got a bunch from today. I forgot. We started at two. We have, yeah, a handful. A literal handful left. You are zipping along, feeling a little bit more exposed than you would have otherwise. You see the...

the bee pollen cloud, and you're very excited to see that the building you recognize as the one your friends, your allies, your family reside within are on the, are perhaps 60 feet away, 30 feet away, and you have to halt the bee pollen cloud as you hear a, "What's that up there in the sky?"

You hear a voice shout and you look down and you can see two guards you hadn't noticed who shouldn't be on this patrol looking up and have spied you very evidently. They're pointing right at you. Oh, hey. Hi. What's going on? My name's Queenie March. I have to piss really badly.

There are bathrooms in the house. Are there really? Yeah, every one of them. Oh, so this is my first night in there. I'm from Yonah, you see, and we have these things called outhouses, which means you piss out of the house. But there's snow everywhere, and I didn't want to get, you know, my yellow markings all over the place because somebody else lives here too. So I'm just quite lost. Make a deception check. Are we twisting this? Yes, we're twisting this. Are you five? Yes, five.

What is my deception? 19. Nice. Does that sound right to you? What's a Yonah? Do your business, but just know that you don't have to do it here. You can go inside. There's a little hole. Y'all are so technologically advanced here. We're proud of Arjenholm. So am I. Now that we own this place, God.

All right, well, I'm just gonna piss around this corner real quickly. I'm going straight to bed. Let us know if you need anything. All right, I will. Thank you for keeping watch. I feel so much more safe having you on patrol.

I'm gonna go around the corner. You zip along. You zip along and the cloud of pollen sort of follows you and it actually looks like it makes sense, right? As you are moving or sitting, there's almost like a trail of yellow, right? And you make it to the same window that you left from. You pull the panes open. You spill in...

And the timing is dead perfect, because just as you are able to set your foot down on the interior of the house, Daisy's form drops, the ghastly form, and she falls, banging her head loudly on the floor, and you hear a gasp. - I'm sorry about that, Daisy. I just, we couldn't take any chances, you know? - Sure. - They know I'm supposed to be here, but now you, anyway, let's go see everyone. Barnabo's snoring. Yep, sure is.

Everyone else is still awake, though. They're playing Parcheesi, and I think Scrim's losing. I've got emotion out of following me downstairs. The three of you are finally in a position where you feel that you might actually beat Yornir this one time when you hear the sound of footsteps coming down the stairs. There's even a moment where there's a cold draft, certainly, where the air had been let in before Queenie was able to close the paned window doors, and all of a sudden, you see...

Queenie, and just behind her, you see Daisy. I jump up in excitement and slightly shift the board accidentally, knocking the board

No, what have you done? Oh, you found her. Oh, sorry, Scrim, I don't, oh. She leaps over the railing and runs to embrace you, Taishan, and you can feel her pull her arms around your torso and almost shaking, you feel this great embrace, you being the closest of the three companions. She stands up, she looks at you, Scrim,

Hey! She races forward and immediately grabs your frame and- I've taken my hat off, I was holding it. And as soon as she lets me go- Are you okay? I'll stop and I'll look at her and I'll say, You made it, kid. And I'll give her a little slug on the shoulder. Survived for months out there. You have to tell me what happened to you all. I have to tell you what happened to me. It's good to see you. I never had any doubt that you wouldn't make it.

She runs over and she immediately jumps and she jumps up so that she can hug you like underneath your arm. Yeah, I mean, it's like when you're in one of the like gymnasiums and they've got like one of the foam columns and you can jump in but literally hold onto that. I start spinning. She jumps up and grabs you for a moment and she jumps back so that she can say welcome back and she walks over and she's sort of like

Gives a tap on Barnabas's shoulder. You survived the wilds. Well done. It was not easy. I didn't do it all on my own at first, but eventually I learned how to live off the land. Dracar is watching over you. I have seen it. Let's hope so. All right, but as heartwarming as this homecoming is, I need your help, because it was not smooth sailing. Um...

There was, I don't know if any of y'all are familiar with this. I know the three of you dabble in magics that far outweigh my comprehension of them. But there was this like almost invisible sphere or something that was floating around behind us at one point. And we only noticed it because the snow started to settle on top of it. And it was like jolting this way and that. And then when we noticed it,

Daisy tried to shoot it with her arrow and it moved out of the way. And then it started to make its way out of the cave we were in. And we tracked it for a little bit and went into the forest. You have any idea what something like that could be? No. I've never heard of anything like that in my life. Me either. Wasn't living. Uh-huh. What?

What do you mean, was it living? Did you use your hunter sense or hunter range? Oh, definitely didn't. I probably could have. And I think that would have been some incredibly helpful knowledge, but it was just shocking to me at the time that I didn't think. Now, Queenie would have known immediately if it was some kind of creature or something like that. There's no way. Yeah, had I used my hunter sense, I definitely would have.

It's very unfortunate that I hadn't. You think then that somebody cast a spell? I don't know. I ain't never seen no invisible orb collecting snow. That doesn't sound like a creature to me. Sure, I've seen a lot of things, though, that didn't sound like creatures that were. Sure, that's fair. Did you get any sense from it? Did it seem like it bore you ill intent? I got a sense of fear for Bowdoin. He said it was moving. Oh, yeah. Divination. It felt like it was looking at us.

That's not good. A source of scrying. Almost like a bloatin' eyeball or somethin'. Source of scrying? But it ain't had no pupil in it or nothin'. Did it appear arcane in origin? How am I supposed to know? Or was it primal? How am I supposed to know? Perhaps psionic. Is there like a color that goes along with arcane and primal? As you question Queenie, you're putting together the pieces, make an arcana check. Oh!

Maybe with some twists. Maybe with help. I'm wondering about it too. How about your arcana? It's not good? No, it's bad. If you're all asking questions, it'd be like contributing to 20 questions. I would say at advantage. You should still use two. You should still plus two twists. Plus two? This is important. So we're gonna make it plus three? Yeah, we're gonna make it plus three. Okay, so I'm using two twists. Correct.

I'm gonna use this one. Correct. And you're at advantage. I'm at advantage, so let me roll both of these. You're at advantage. What's that? A 17 or 11? 14, I think. 11. Okay, so 14 plus four is 18. Oh, he's good. Oh no. Plus three. Plus three total. 17. That's good. That's very good. Thank God you twisted. A 17. Though your scrying magic works differently, and the way that you've been able to

perceived through the world into the future or into the present through your eye, you do get a sense that this was something very similar. It may have been invisible or it may have been made of some transparent material. That is not clear. But you do get the sense that it was... You feel very confident that this was a method of observation and deduction. Something that could either see

and possibly here, but you're not sure about whether it would be able to hear. Just perhaps some observation that was able to spy Daisy and Queenie in the cave there. You were seen. Well... By whom, I am not sure. I told you, that weird floating eyeball thing. Well, this means that not only does someone know that Daisy is close by, but they know that Queenie met with her.

Damn it. But they didn't follow you back, right? You said it went off. Oh yeah, it went off into the forest. I mean, it doesn't mean it didn't turn and follow us back, but I didn't get the little prickles on the back of my neck that tell me someone's watching me, so I don't think so. We do not know if the one... Can it hear us or can it just see us? It could possibly hear you as well. Oh. Oh yeah, we laid out the whole plan too. If this was a powerful divination spell, then it could have seen, heard, and sensed more.

Did you see any of the princess's forces on your way back? Out of Arjenholm? Well, not out of Arjenholm. I had to pretend like I was pissing in the alleyway though when I got back because there were two guards I didn't expect to be on patrol. Kind of an unusual place. I wonder if that... But, I mean, they bought it hook, line, and sinker.

You hear a knock at the door. Hey, we checked the snow. We didn't see any piss. That's very suspicious. I had a lot of water today. Thank you very much. We didn't find any piss. You have some explaining to do. You all is piss. You all is piss right now. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

You can still say it. No. We're looking forward to piss right now! Where are you going with all that? You're not going to share? It's okay, you're not in trouble as long as you piss right now. So what do we do? That's okay. One of Queenie's features as a swarm keeper is the piss on command ability. I've got that too. It's a very small bladder. There you go.

My secret is, I always have to pee. Immunity to pee shyness. It's like the shrew from Beneath Our Plains. Meeps! What an unhinged episode. I haven't got that episode yet. Oh, just wait. That's one of the best episodes ever. Oh, God. Of anything we've ever done. What were we even...

Well, if you didn't see any of her forces heading towards you, maybe it wasn't the princess. If she had seen Daisy, if she had seen Queenie with her, she would have sent people. Or gone herself. I was practically invisible on my way there. I do wonder if whether I had been there or not.

Whatever and whoever that was knew where Daisy was. In the weeks that we were separated, did you encounter anyone else? I met some folks from Ogerton. They were heading south too. Three brothers. Are they still with you? Did they follow you?

All killed. Oh, that's terrible. What happened? How did they die? One of them died, saving my life. The other two, they journeyed with me for a while, but I'll be honest, they were slowing me down. You ate them? You killed them! LAUGHTER

- That would be awful. Chat would never forgive you. - No, no. - You think they hate me for the NPCs? - I know. - They would never forgive you. - That would be unreasonable. Daisy explains that she felt the other two were slowing her down very legitimately and so she pressed on one night without them.

She doesn't know where they went, but guesses that they either kept going south or they could take care of themselves. It is too bad they didn't live, but then again, who does? Daisy makes a small crane unicorn. Why are you doing this, Michael? What is it now?

Damn boy, were you just frying chicken in there? For real though, you piss loud as fuck. I think that's pretty cool. Okay. Stop! You need to stop. Okay, here's my last one. I even have a paper here. I love that anybody who's new is going to look at the official account. It'll be official. Oh, I should have done some rouge to that.

Yeah, how do we ban Legends of Antris? That's the neat part. You can't. Thank you for the tea.

It's so good to see all of you. I can't believe you're alive. I thought that I'd lost you. I had faith, but I can't believe we're here now. That tea you gave us, it was beautifully bitter and sour at the same time. It was sour and bitter. It was exquisite. What? Yeah, we loved it. It was great. No! What do you mean? It was terrific. Well, we did exactly what you said. We waited until it bubbled 165 for five minutes. Five minutes.

No! What?! Oh no. It's okay, Taishen, let's play Parcheesi again. We have one more spot if either of you would like to play. I have to learn what happened. Where were you taken when you disappeared that night? God, somewhere horrible. It was... A living nightmare is what it was. I do not describe it as a place. It was a state of being. We...

Enter the realm of madness and darkness, trapped by a dark being. It's like a prison! Yes, a dark prison. But in the end, the being itself was imprisoned by several wizards on the coast. From Coastline. Nondescript Coastline. That sounds awful. And you were there for months? No. Sometimes I think we've been imprisoned by wizards on the coastline for years.

It's just the worst. I can't imagine what a living nightmare that must be. Yes. Well, you don't have to tell me more than that. You made it back to Drakkar somehow. It defied time and space. We were there for mere days, but when we emerged, weeks had passed. Thank you, Yornear the White.

I just kept heading south, and I made my way back here and circumnavigated the whole thing, and I've just been scouting out. I could tell you lots, so I guess you're here, so you know it all. Looks like you've been doing more than just scouting. I gestured the suit of armor she's made out of. Yeah, she killed some of my kin. There are about, I think, several of them.

snow hares that were slaughtered against the wall. She holds up the snow hares. Give me a snarch if you're nasty. Why would you bring that with you? I asked her to leave them behind, but she refused. Why would you bring trophies with such an aim? I just had it. I just thought that... It is food she is trying to survive.

I mean, to be fair. - But they wear overalls and dresses. You do what you must, right Daisy? - I thought they were cute. They're cute, so cute, right? - They were. - The cuter the creature, the more delicious. - I dress them all up like you. - They were my friends in my loneliness. - Oh, that's a nightmare, we'll skip that. - Wilson! - So what are we gonna do?

What are you doing here? We don't know. We've got a lot of problems, to be quite honest with you. I'll help any way I can. We must obtain the artifact that the princess has, and we tried to parlay. It gained us a district, land, a house banner, but not the artifact. So whether through negotiations of the future force, we must retrieve it.

Steenly might still be on the table, but she knows who we are now, so that certainly isn't the best course of action. I feel like Queenie could do it all by herself, she's so stealthy. Mmm, nah. See, you're having one right now. What, you brought him? You're like glazing it with honey. Jeez! She's got a lot of hair to go! Gone tomorrow? Yes! Force is still an option, but she got an army.

Green skin? Describe these beings.

I know someone walk around with a walking stick like yours, and they have skulls and trinkets on their clothes and stuff, and they're in the Northeast district. I assumed you would have, I don't know how long you guys have been here. Very little time, one day. They've got big sticking teeth out of their jaw like this. Orcs. And broad noses. Oh, are they like that green skull we found, or those green bones we found?

The green bow? No, those were trolls. Yeah. I believe she describes orcs. I watched them for one of the evenings I came and surveilled, you know, checking the city out, and they basically, they chant around the trees. There's like a whole farm of forest there. It's crazy. Would I know what an orc is? Yeah. They are practitioners of the primal magics as well. Ah.

Shaman. Are you more orc or more troll? I am cousins to trolls. We are all giantkin. Orcs are not giantfolk. I know, she said they were like you, though. They are large and they are shaman, like I am. Some of them are. They walk around with a cane or staff. If they wield primal magics in the same way I do, yes.

Are you not upset that they're trying to steal your vibe? No, they're not. What are you talking about? I don't know. Like, sometimes my cousins, I dress up like a certain way, I put flowers in my hair a certain way, and one of my cousins would do it, and it'd make me upset, because I'm like, I put my flowers like that. Why are you copying me? It doesn't make you upset that they're copying you? I am not offended. All right. In fact, perhaps they could be allies in our cause. What do you think? Well, and also, he doesn't wear trinkets on the front of his clothes.

His tusk's on the back. You think they'd be offended if he started wearing trinkets on the front of his clothes? It's possible. I don't know how easy, but we're talking about a thing. Maybe you shouldn't do that, just in case. I will change nothing about myself. All right. We're currently playing her game. It's playing along with her. We can't do anything to oppose her at the moment. And goal is subterfuge for now. Feel things out, see how things go, and maybe a plan will emerge, but...

We're pretty deep over here. And I should just... hide here? No, I mean they can't see you. You've already potentially been found by someone. If she finds you, it's bad news. They could take me to the stronghold in the middle of the city. In shackles, right? Yes. They would. What was your hope when you sent that message to Scrim? How did you even get that in my pocket?

I was just by happenstance checking out the Goliaths and I saw the commotion. I was able to sneak up into the rafters. I watched Barnabas' whole fight and when you guys came out there, I was able to use my abilities and just sort of popped it into your pocket.

Would I immediately think back to that moment where I noticed something for a brief moment and make the connection? You think about the rafters and you recognize that her head probably would have been dipping down just at that moment. Oh my gods, I saw you! Just for a moment! That's unbelievable. You're amazing. I think I'm getting better.

move the arrows as I shoot now. I can give them a little bit of a nudge to make them hit if they were gonna miss. And I can smooth, I can smooth snow and sort of like make sure that nobody can track me. - Oh, you were really hard to track. I was very proud. - And check a look at this. - And she holds up the massive like insect helmet that like it's big bulging eyes like immediately gets like, hold it.

What is this? This is the thing that nearly killed me. When you put it in your hands, you are shocked by how light it is. This chitinous armor is extremely, extremely strong, but it feels like you're almost carrying nothing at all. It's almost a little warm to the touch. So you killed him, and then you turned it into this? Barely. Take his phone away? I don't know if you... Barnabas wakes up.

He says, "The head orc's name is Myfar." It is now. That's really good! It is now. Myfar. That's not even a bad one. That's good. That could be his brother's name. That's good.

I look up at Mike staring directly at me, I'm like, "What, what?" He's always waiting for your approval. Yeah. That was when we lost the one I told you about, Sausage. I don't think that you met Sausage. His name was Sausage? Everyone had food names. There's Sausage, Gabagool, and Porkos, his brother. What a bunch of freaks. I pass the helmet back to her. Yeah.

I'm tired. I'm gonna go to bed. Should I just hide here? Yes, if you are willing. It would be the biggest help to us for you to stay safe and stay hidden. Been hiding for months. I'm good at it now. We understand your people are being held in the Citadel. We have rallied the ogres to our cause and perhaps we can gain the orcs, the elves, and the others. I haven't been there. I...

There's no way. There's just the one bridge. There's no way to crawl up from the lake. There's... It's the one place in the city I haven't really been able to explore. That makes theft even more difficult. I believe our first path involves politics. You knock over the Parcheesi board a little bit more.

I'm going. I'm gonna go up and get some rest. I'm exhausted. It is late. We should all get rest. Thank you for bringing me here, Queenie. Thanks for coming. It's amazing to see all of you. We missed you a lot. I missed you guys so much. Do you want to share a blanket tonight? Sure. Oh, I forgot my blankets. Oh, don't worry. I got one. All right. Cool. We can tell secrets and braid each other's hair. How do I braid your hair? I'll teach you.

Oh. I'm s- I don't know why I was thinking Queenie didn't have fucking hair for some reason. She's going full fucking dead hairs over here. I know how to braid hair. She ties her ears in a knot. Ow! Ow! Ow! My cartilage! Ow! Yeah, we'll braid each other's hair. That sounds wonderful. Good night, Daisy. Good night, Daisy.

It's in this moment you recognize how tired you are too, and I need you to make a constitution saving throw against exhaustion for your night's activities. Natural 20. Oh. You pass. So 24. Queenie and the rest of you watch as Daisy makes her way up to one of the bedrooms on the second floor, leaving the four of you still sitting next to the crackling fire and the persistent sounds of snoring Barnabas. I think these were here, and I think...

Alright, those were there, I believe, if I remember correctly. I should have knocked the board. I think this is... I was just so excited! I think this was... Is this fair? That looks correct to me. Yeah, it looks good enough for me. I want to maintain game state. Yeah. That looks right. I think you were winning. It was close, though. You've almost got me. Yeah. I'm just having fun!

All right, whose turn is it? Scrim, I think it is your turn. Okay. And you would notice that, like, instead of robbing you all blind with my crazy slighted hand, I'm, like, intentionally losing. And I start letting it go. Oh, no. I messed it up again. Really scrimmed that one. Passed the turn. You know, just, like, trying to keep your ear interesting because this is the only time I've ever seen him interested in anything.

My piece is not a little carved water buffalo. Beautiful, beautiful. We finish our meal apart, Cheesy, and then we go to bed. You make your way up and you go to bed. There aren't very many hours. I would say that Barnabas, Taishan, and

Yornir and Scrim, you enjoy the benefits of the long rest because you've basically been doing nothing. Relaxing, playing Parcheesi. You had one conversation with Daisy. But for staying up, Queenie, I cannot grant you this long rest. Okay. I accept that. Worth it.

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Light of early morning pours in through the windows and though everyone is mostly asleep upstairs or perhaps taking the couch, it hits your eyes first Barnabas and you jolt awake feeling the benefits of a full night's rest. I'm alive.

I will get up and enjoy... I'll kind of survey the scenario. I guess I'm on the couch. Yeah, you'd be either in the equipment like an easy boy or the large couch. I will, in the kind of sleep of the... You know, when you have needed a long sleep,

to think, to put in perspective that the wild ride through the tunnel was also yesterday, and me turning into a kaiju and fighting a guy to a death and cutting his head off and being horribly wounded one step away from death was all yesterday. I will immediately go to the kitchen, survey the pantry, see what's stocked,

and I will try to make the heartiest, most meatful breakfast I possibly can. The basics are there. You have access to unlimited spices thanks to the item that you carry with you at all times, of course, but there are eggs and some undried meats. Enough for the five of you, perhaps, for a day. Other than that, provisions are relatively slim, but enough to make a hearty breakfast, certainly.

And it's the smell of your cooking that wakes the rest of you up, wherever you choose to have slept overnight. I've got a breakfast feast going. Come at your leisure. I've got coffee as well.

You feel two arms wrap around your waist, your torso, and you feel sore, still quite hurt from the day prior. And you turn around and you see, standing before you, staring up at you, Daisy. Young lady, you made it! Not like I ever doubted it! Queenie brought me here. She's master.

Well, you look like you're all skin and bones. Here, here, eat, eat, eat. You get a double portion. No, no, a triple portion. Here you go. I will shove a plate up in front of her. And she shovels the food into her mouth and takes a big draft of the coffee. The rest of you all assemble in the kitchen. I am so glad to see you alive. Thank you. I can't believe how long it's been. It's been months. I know I said a lot of harsh things.

But you know that it was just because I didn't want to see you freeze to death. You know that, right? Thank you. Yes, I know. I'll muss her hair a little bit and then get back to cooking. As I'll say, I'm sure...

Well, I know I was asleep probably when you came back in. It was a rough day. I don't know if the others told you, but I cut a guy's head off with my crab claw! Well, it was also the size of a building! He deserved it, don't worry. And I'll turn around and I'll keep frying. I'll probably have some eggs boiling and then some eggs... some eggs frying, obviously. Just getting a feast ready. There is much to fill you in on, Barnabas.

and I proceed to fill him in on all the stuff that we learned, the focus, and you know, the pork bros, and all that.

Daisy chimes in when she doesn't have her hands full of cutlery or a mug to consume the food that she's clearly not... She hasn't been starving, but she hasn't been able to enjoy your fine cooking for some time. And you get all the details. There was some sort of invisible thing that saw them out there in the mountains. There's the... She's been around for...

weeks and weeks sort of surveilling the town, the city, and she knows what you all know at this point. As I get caught up and as I'm cooking, there is definitely, I think that Barnabas will be in a very good mood, almost kind of like a glow to him as he's chipper, he's whistling, he's humming, as he seems to be very amenable, is what I'll say. Now we must discuss...

What's next? If there's anyone else's head I have to cut off, I feel like I might be up to the challenge. If that's the toughest warrior that they can muster. Don't we know that there's like a ceremony today, right? Yes. You have been asked to participate in a sort of a presentation or performance of your new...

writes as a tribe. The princess said she would be making you into one, effectively one of the tribes of Drakkar.

We are late for the ceremony! We all take a single piece of toast and run out of the house with the toast in our mouths. Because we have to have our hands free to do this. Sure, sure. And then a bus comes and kills us all. And we all get eased to kind. To a very generic D&D fantasy world. Oh, no, that's terrible. You all... We know we're in the remembered realms! Ah!

Uh, that doesn't happen. But there are rats that we have to kill, so we should probably all roll for initiative. Yes, a single rat shows up. I need everyone to roll for initiative. I'm a Vanny. I had a natural 10. Ah, we have the ceremony today. We must play the part. Let us accept what the princess has granted us and treat it as an honor. And we must learn the different districts, the different houses,

the political landscape of this city. And if we get time after the ceremony, perhaps we visit the place your friend spoke of. Yeah, I don't hate that idea.

Do I know if Nimrodel would be in that district ever, or he like lives at the inn where we briefly stopped? You know that he lives and serves at that particular tavern inn experience. Unlikely if you head in the direction he wants to go, he's not gonna be there. But you know also that

A walk away is the Cursed Glade, where the Shadow Vale Cabal calls their home. Yeah, you're probably right. We definitely have to get over that at some point, but I'm not looking forward to it.

I began working on French toast equivalent in a fantasy setting. I'm waiting for the French toast. I'm saving room. Some of the bread that I found was a little stale. This is a nice trick, Mr. Fire Blossom. Pay attention. Oh! It's even better when it's stale. Oh, I can't wait! That looks delicious! Oh! It's on the wrist, Mr. Fire Blossom. It's on the wrist for the pleasure. Oh, wow!

I serve it. You do hear a knock at the door after enjoying your food, just as you're starting to come to rest on all of the food, the French toast equivalent, the Tarkarian toast, let's say. And the door knocks again with loud thumps. I run to the door. I tell Daisy to hide. Oh, and she jumps into the larder and sort of pulls the curtain over, and you get a sense that she's back there.

What? You look through, perhaps expecting to see some Frosthammer kobolds, and instead you're staring up at a tall ogre you recognize to be Manius, who now goes by Man.

I stick my hand out, and I look left and I look right to see if there are guards all over the place. At the end of the street, you do find guards, but you see mostly additional ogre flesh. You see more and more standing behind Manny. There seems to be almost a crowd just outside the door. After I look left and I look right, I look up and I say, what's the password?

Password? Nah, I'm just Kim Cohen, and "Hey guys, it's Manny, he's here!" And I like, pull on him even though he's huge and try to like, force him to come in. He doesn't even budge when you like, pull on him. Come on, come on, get in here! He's just doing this. Oh, come on! Screw you, is it? It's Manny! Is it just him? How many more breakfast do I need to make? Just him, so make like, I don't know, a couple dozen more. I'm gonna clear out the pantry and the larder, alright. As soon as he's in, I will like, slam the door behind him and like, lock it again.

There are like three or four ogres here walking up behind you, slamming you in their face, and Manny's inside the room now. They're high ceilings, and so he doesn't need to duck down, but he's certainly an imposing figure within this space, more so than he was in Ogerton with the architecture accommodating being what it is. And he looks down. Manny...

Join us! Barnabus is cooking! Other ogres hungry! You brought friends? Do we have enough food, Barnabus?

I am mid-rifling through to see how much we're serving the kitchen. You're going through the larder... I would have also organized everything, I guess, before I moved to a cut, too. Sure, sure. I needed to be exactly how I wanted to be. You familiarized yourself with the kitchen, and you know that as much as these ogres eat, that you could give perhaps a full meal to Manius, but perhaps not to the...

five standing out the door, let alone the hundreds of ogres that now occupy this neighborhood. Oh, you know, we're just about tapped out, Mr. Stabiscotch. We need to have a word with the princess and whoever is in charge of provisions. Or perhaps all we have to do is make a stop at the market and we'll have to have a shopping episode, so to speak. So we shouldn't let the other ogres in, is what you say? Well, if they're hungry now.

We don't- we can't feed them! I'm sorry, Manny. There's nothing we can do. We're low on supplies. How do we get more supplies? Well, we're gonna work on that. Hopefully today we'll come up with a plan. Is there a market you can go to? I'll get prepared a list and perhaps send you all down and bring it back here. Stormfest feed ogres. Well, it's possible we become a full-bannered family today. We'll be offered provisions.

When today? Later. Well, you know, we have to, I think, set our house in stone, decide our heraldry, our colors. It is probably very soon. I think it was, like, morning. Or maybe midday. He pulls a bowl of the, like, scrambled eggs and literally just, like, with one scoopful, empties the entire bowl and dumps it down his throat. I'm sorry it's not enough. I understand. We're also out of the...

French toast. You know that the great chef French, he also invented French dressing, a little bit of cuisine trivia for you. Anyway... And French dip. Oy, that's true. Very prolific, man. What ogres do? I suppose that we will seat ourselves by the princess. We will make our demands. We must be able to feed our people. Oy, maybe it would be good to have them in attendance. It's a show of force.

The power of our new house. Yes, yes. The ogres collected in our bags. You will join us today. Okay. Join you where? At the ceremony. Do I know where it is? Do I remember what she said? No, you do not. She didn't indicate where the ceremony would take place. I think that any of you would be able to make the deduction that it probably will be in the center of the city. Probably the escort room.

It will probably be in the center of the city and will probably be asked for. I will tell Ogres. Manny, what's the matter, buddy? You seem a little down. Manny hungry. Well, Scrim's hungry too, but you don't see me complaining. We're making the best of the situation. Manny, blood sugar low.

And I'm like shoving my face off. You're eating quite a lot. Shut up, Taishan. The point is, and I'm like wielding my spoon, we're going to figure out what happens today, and we're going to...

Have more information soon. Manny's eyes sort of give you a look up and down, and you get the idea that he's picturing you turning into a fucking pork chop. I look at him, and I take my plate, and I slide it a little bit more over here. So don't get the other ogres, and we'll all go to the ceremony together. Okay. Manny makes his leave, and he fumbles with the locks for five minutes. You just all stay in the kitchen. You hear him. You got it. And I'm like...

Pull the thing out of the...no, no, it's a chain. It's a...put it on a track. He leaves. You...is Daisy still in the closet? Oh, he's gone. It was his man he is, too. I'll open her up and pull her out. You mentioned demands. I mean, besides food, what did you have in mind? I mean, food and general protection, but the...

Stimulations that if any of our ogre friends would like to leave, they may. I don't think she's gonna allow that. I think she will. No, it is... We tried to make that argument before. When we first met her, she said absolutely not. It was also before Bonobos cut that guy's head off, so maybe that's worth something. We had no leg to stand on. We had no position in power. We proved ourselves. We defeated the Goliaths. I defeated them. The chief. You all...

Massacred the treacherous fucks. Oh, to be very clear, I don't think she's gonna change her mind. I just, you know, I'm trying to be hopeful here. Civil linings and all that. Brand new scrim. The winnings for the victory of that fight were determined to go again. That was the deal we made originally. Well, that's the thing, is that any ogre that would rather wander off into the wilds and die than be cared for and have food and perhaps stand shoulder to shoulder against the menace of the metal man...

If we're presuming that's a great war that's to come... Then we don't want them, then she would rather not want them in the army! The cowardice spreads, morale lowers. It's the same thing on a ship. If you have a ship's lawyer or someone spreading distrust, it spreads like a wildfire. They will be safer under our protection. Oh yeah, that's true. They will be fed, and I do not believe it is worth political influence to gain this.

But it's not.

You were only given the opportunity to do that fight for them to be under our banner and not theirs. Yes. You didn't fight for their freedom. You fought for them to have a new master. That's why I'm going to say that anyone who wants to leave me, that's their choice. But she already told us no. Once we are made a house, we ourselves will have a new master for the immediate future. As long as they provide us with food.

We played the role fine enough in Ogerton. We play it now. Your gods, your triad, Mr. Yornear. They said there are three paths we can walk down. Yes. As long as one of them ends with our destiny and our fate, I want the ogres that want to leave to be able to leave. Perhaps we can ask all the ogres if any of them want to leave, and if it's unanimous that the crew wishes to stay with the ship and the captain...

then it's not worth bringing up. You may do so. I will not be requesting this. All right. I think it does make sense if it's not offered. That's something we should ask for is the necessary provisions to upkeep our house and all those that fall under our care. Yes, we need food. And this is more important than their potential freedom. She's gonna say no like she did before. I agree.

I will get ready. I will talk to the ogres. I'll turn and I'll get ready to go to the ceremony. I will keep eating my breakfast. How is it, Mr. Savage Gosh? Oh my god, Barnabas is fantastic! Thanks for asking. Young lady, how is it? I haven't lost my touch, have I? Little, uh, little brush with, uh, the horrors beyond the stars and a lighthouse can take the pep out of the step of Barnabas Dreadwake. That's what I wanted to hear.

I will get ready. I'll put my apron up and get ready. I'll stay here. I'll do the dishes. You are too kind, young lady. I appreciate that. Just stay out of sight. And if there's anything you need while we're out, write it down and let me know or something. I'll keep my eyes open. Okay. Maybe you should also develop a special knock or something.

So if someone comes to the door, she knows it's us. Oh, like a secret passphrase, like I was messing with Manny, but instead make it real. Yeah, except for real this time. I'll work on that. If anyone knocks, I'm just not going to answer, because you wouldn't knock coming back to your house. Oh, that's so much smarter. Unless you have like a knock that you... That's also a good idea, too, because no one's supposed to be here, so if anyone knocks and someone comes to the door, then they're going to be...

Come on, Tai Shen, we gotta get it together. Should you knock if there's, like, danger and you're bringing someone who's dangerous back? I could send my bees in first and, you know, thumbs up is we're coming in, everything's good to go. Thumbs down is hide. Easy. Okay. We don't know, but we heavily suspect, and it's possible, that somebody was watching Queenie and Daisy that night.

Somebody might know that- That was last night. Well, right, but somebody might know that she's with you. Somebody might come here. They won't knock. They'll just come in. If she thinks it's us returning, she might come out to greet us. Either way, Tyshen, I'm gonna need you to get your head out of your ass and get into the game here. Lock it up, buddy. It's still viable! The knock is viable! It's not your best idea, alright? I was backing your full force there. I picked the wrong horse. I really did appreciate that. Let me regret this.

Next time. We are going to need to pick the flag that we fly. I don't know if anyone has any ideas. Did she not say she would choose for us? I don't recall. I got beat up very badly by him. I think my brain got rattled around a bit.

I think back to that day. Did she say that she would choose? But 24 hours ago. Yeah. Less than that. Not even. Yeah. Fucking, yeah, 8 hours, 12, 10, whatever. Yeah, I'm worried about Barnabos. Barnabos is... He might be concussed. He's never been happier. I'm feeling great. I sawed down my pipe for a jewel. I started vaping. His skull looks a little swollen.

Grab some zins. Oh no. This bill of cotton candy-smelling vape smoke immediately pours out into the space. Mr. Stavros gots toasters ready! Get a hanging toast! Oh no! And you think back to that day, yes, the Princess of Wrath indicated that she would be the one doing the naming. Never mind! Yes, she will name us. This is fine, it is irrelevant what we are called. I was going to suggest that we...

in honor of the ogres, to utilize the colors of their god, Trothak the Sharkpuncher. That imaginary fake god that you made up? Yeah, true. Trothak is fake? After the play, I think they might have bought it. I think they bought it before the play. That's what I'm saying! That's all I'm saying. The play really sealed the deal.

What are the colors of Trothak the Sharkpuncher? I always imagine a great gray leviathan on a green field. Perhaps she will take suggestions. Let us go.

All right, I'll walk out the front door. You walk out the front door, and it is still snowing. It's still gently snowing, as it was the night before, but the sky is overcast. Not dark, but small flakes glitter down, and immediately you are hit with the cold. How long does your rune of protection last? Eight hours. It's got to be done. Let me check.

Uh, spells... I gotta prepare my spells, too. Twelve hours. So it might still be active. I would say it's definitely still active. You would have given it to her at like one or two in the morning, so for sure. Early afternoon is when that will drop. You walk out and you are confronted by Manny speaking to a crowd. "No food!"

I don't know why he sounds like Yornir now. Yes, man, you were learning. No food. And you see all the ogres sort of grumpily slapping their thighs and sort of beating their chests and turning. News is spreading that for at least today, until you can negotiate with the Princes of Wrath, that the ogres are going to have to make do somehow.

And as you turn away from that crowd, you see that there are, there's a small group of Frosthammer people.

kobolds just at where the main street ends just as it hits that wide road that sort of circumnavigates the lake and they are staring staring down at the street at you sort of expectantly a couple with spears some with swords at their side they seem resistant to the cold for they're wearing far few garments than you would expect such a small creature needs in the cold as it is but they look at you with expectation all the same

We are ready to be led to the ceremony. And the Ogerton war host will be joining us as well. We will send an escort for the Ogres when the ceremony begins after the sun reaches the horizon. We can bring them to the ceremony tonight. We are to escort you to the Biting Bastion for the day. I told you about the escorts. He totally called it. But they will join us? We will make sure of it. Many.

You're not coming now, but later you and the rest of the ogres will join us for this errand. Oh, you're gonna confuse them. Not now, later. What ogres do until then? Do you... Can our ogre friends go to the market? Of course, they can go to the market. They're free to roam the city. What's the coin that they take?

Usually agreements with other tribes for food, provisions for whatever trade favors power. The coin goes to the princess. Scream. What? Could you draft some sort of very fancy official-looking IOU? I mean, I certainly can. The question is, do we trust Manny to deliver it? I do, Manny. I'm over here.

I'm going to prepare a list. If you could go to the market, I need you. Scrim here is going to give you the fanciest IOU. We have a lot to offer, especially as the newcomers. There's an air of mystery to us. So anything we say, they're like to believe. That's how this works. And so I need you to get everything that's on that list at the market.

Enough to feed all of the ogres and us for seven days.

Seven days. Seven days. You okay? Okay, I'm gonna go back into the house and I'll get the list. Of course, of course. Wait, now where did I put that? I would go with you. Oh yeah. And we would find, that way we could work together and make sure everything is there, but I would be transcribing what he's saying, what he's dictating. Sure. And making it look just this beautiful, official-looking- Looks like the fucking U.S. Constitution by the time you're done. Yeah. And like, you know, I would even, if Barnabas would allow me to, sign it with his name.

to make it seem intimidating and as if he is the kind of de facto head of our warband. It says Barnabas Dreadwake. What was the name of the Goliath? I forget the name of Goliath. The one that you killed was Korovac the Unbroken? Slayer of the... Breaker of the Unbroken. Fuck you!

Fuck yes! I wiped the shit out of him! I fucking wiped that shit! And the whole time he's like, "Oh yeah, that's fucking fine, man. I don't fucking want that." I sign it and Barnabo's Breaker of the Unbroken. It's the most beautiful fucking thing I've ever seen! Ah, fuck yeah! I'm like, we're fired up, we're in there, we're like, "Yeah, yeah, come on!" You guys hear us from the outside, "What the fuck is going on in there?" Yeah, so I write all these things, and I try to make it look absolutely beautiful. Sounds like they're practicing to go fishing.

And I will list, like, we'll need lots of fruit for the scurvy. Okay, we'll need to get that. We'll see if they have that. Okay, dates, all right, all right. And so I will roll it all up and then basically hand it to Scrim. If you wouldn't mind giving them both of those. Yeah, I would try to see if there's even a little bit of wax that I could create, like an impromptu wax seal and, like, seal it with wax. I know I don't have, like, an official seal or anything, but I would attempt to seal the scurvy. Hey, there are candles. And so you pour some of the candles in there and let's say that you can use the face of your coin. Oh!

Oh, that's it! Yes, I absolutely used the coin. There's only so many people in this absolute place that would even recognize it, maybe. I would use the coin, wouldn't even think about it. Wouldn't even think about the repercussions that are absolutely gonna bite Scrim in the ass. As I press the coin...

into this wax and seal it with this horrific... You've got this perfect folded piece of parchment and within you feel very confident that a week's worth of provisions for some few hundred ogres and yourselves would not just be enough food but a variety, a healthy, healthy diet. As we go back out, I'd like to find a barrel or something where I could stand up and get above where all of the ogres can sit. Easy to find.

And I will, knowing that a captain's command is only as good as the power of his lungs, I will bellow as loud as I can. And I will say, Ogres of Ogerton, this is our new home for now. And we have won your freedom from the Goliaths, but we are not your masters. You are not cattle.

There is a war to come with a machine menace, metal beings from beyond the stars. But outside of these walls lies death and frigid ruin. Winter has come. But that said, you are all free to make the decision. If you do not wish to stay in these walls, we will not stop you. And so I would like if anyone wishes to leave and does not wish to live with us,

live under the wing of the Princess of Wrath, please step forward.

The moment that Barnabas stops shouting, you'll just hear a scream be like, yeah! Oh, yeah! Woo! Yeah, Barnabas! Yeah! Woo! And it's like this weird, like, quiet-ass scream. Step forward to stay. To stay? No, no, no, to go. Okay, Barnabas, yeah. You hear the sound of voices as the crowd absorbs this information. It's slow at first and almost crashes back into you as a wave when you hear...

- War is coming. - Kill. - War. - Thank you. - War is coming. A fight. - A war. - A war. - A war. - And all of a sudden, their harrowing are shooting up and you have a sense that you've actually rallied them into a fever of there's an enemy coming that they can crush, that they can apply the skills they've been training to do with the Goliaths. They are mongering and hungry for the potential fight to come. - And those that wish to stay,

With not just me, but all of us here and all of our human comrades from Ogerton, all of the survivors. Join me in a war cry. Shrothak!

TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH FACT! TRUTH F

We can reserve that topic for another time, Mr. Yornir. - They're still chanting, you can almost hear the sound of spit freezing on the ice pack road that you all stand on, and they're smashing into each other, not high-fiving, but just literally almost pushing each other, getting ready to, pumping themselves up, hyping themselves for the coming war, which in their minds may be in an hour or two. - Yeah.

I think you've rallied them a little too early. That could have gone any better. I'm impressed. Surely there's no way this will bite us in the ass. No, not at all. We will get food for war.

Manny runs up to you. For dinner, at least. No, food for the strong. Let's see where the week takes us first. The strong. No, like the days of the week, like for a period of time. The week has no more days. Yeah, you've got it. No worries. It's all you, Manny. I trust you. Take the ladders. Don't mess this up. The week has no more days.

It's fucking amazing. That's phenomenal. He grabs it and you're shocked to see that literally hundreds of chanting Trothak ogres start to make their way up and to the west. Anyone who would deny that food is an idiot. In the direction of Winter Market. And you're five, ten, fifteen minutes of traffic pass before finally you find yourself alone again with the...

You know. The white frost hammer, uh, white kobolds. I'm so good at it. I was just really proud of my, I was just really proud of my, my protag just now. Hey, look out, it's that one guy! There's that one guy! It's right over there! Ah, stop it, stop it! Uh, so, as I understand it, the, we'll be escorted to where the ceremony's happening, but it's not for a while.

They mentioned like... You have a sense that you've got six, seven hours. But you're being asked by the Frosthammer kobolds, or perhaps told, that they are to ask you to be son of a city. Does it seem like we need to be there early, or are they just like... They don't seem to be in a rush, but they seem to be with you. He wants to take us to the Biting Bastion right now. Yes, before the ceremony. Which is not... The ceremony is not at the Biting Bastion.

We're going to the Binding Bastion separately in the ceremony somewhere else after? Taishan asks. And the... This is... Ah, there we go. And then... Don't worry, we don't bite. Many generations since the...

ceremony of naming, the oath of swearing, but the princess has asked us to take you to the Biting Bastion and we are others like ourselves preparing for a great feast celebration. Well good, please lead the way. We don't want to waste any time. No time like the present.

And they escort you. Alrighty. It takes another hour or so, and by the time you reach the bridge to cross into the center of the city, I would say that is when your rune of protection drops, Queenie. You are also intrigued to pass by the Curse of Glade. Unlike many of the other districts that have been left alone, like the ones you found yourself in,

This has been heavily transformed by the peoples that you've come to know as the Shadow Vale Cabal. There are dark cloths that hang from the...

faces of all of these different buildings. There are adornments that seem alien and strange to you, symbols that hang above each of the doors. And peering in, you can see that Nimrodel was very much an example of his kind.

All of the elves that you can spy in this space are darkly robed, and when you can see arms, you can see heavy tattoos. Even the women have no hair. All of them share this same sort of bald feature, their thin ears poking out from either side. You get a few glances as you continue to move past this space, but no one attempts to approach you as you're being escorted by the guard. Good.

This place is like a morgue. Who would have guessed that the cabal of permanently tortured souls would look like this? That's not right to me, Mr. Zarskog. Sarcasm, Bonobos. It was sarcasm. Let's just keep going. And it's here that you turn and make your way into and across the bridge. You're able to, glancing on either side, should you want to, look down to the lake that

is referred to as the mirror, and with good reason. It is very reflective. You cannot see very deep down into the water, for it is perfectly frozen, completely flat and still. But you see this strange texture on the surface of the... Even though you can see the sky almost reflecting back, it's like it has acne, almost. There's all these little white dots of...

on the entire surface as if boiling water had been frozen in place. And these mysteries confront you and leave you as you pass underneath this enormous, massive gate into the center of what is very clearly a massive stronghold. Just right before we go in, not just directly to the scrim, but I'd like to try and say something kind of privately.

The guards don't seem to be like vultures just constantly standing next to you. They're not escorting you the way they would prisoners. They are just walking with you to make sure you get to your destination. They're guiders. So you can step back and have an ear and feel that you have the privacy you're looking for.

It's still my hope that... Ha! What? Where the fuck did you come from? I've been here the entire time! Oh my god, don't stick up for me like that! I've just been walking right next to you! Sheesh! The entire time! It's happy on the shoulder for something! We just looked over the bridge together! It's my reflection looking back up at it! Sorry, I was thinking about more important things. Go ahead, go ahead. It's my hope, I hold on to it, that we can still talk to the princess and...

come to some sort of agreement about the armature. But I think when we actually get in there, I think you should case the place as carefully as you can to see if that falls through. We might have to steal it, I'm afraid. Unless situations drastically change, I don't think we'd win a fight. What do you think I do every time I step in a room? I look for anything that doesn't bolt into the floor! Well, okay, good then. You're exactly right. In the right mindset.

Let's go. Why are you sexually raising your eyebrows at Tyshon? He isn't sexual! Was that sexual? Yeah. It wasn't sexual. No, that's how you beckon someone sexually. Did you not know that? It wasn't sexual. Was that sexual? It wasn't. It might have been unintentionally sexual. Scrim, I'm flattered. You're just not my type. Nah. You're not mine either. Okay, well then what's with the eyebrows?

We carry on. You do, and you pass under this enormous gate into what is clearly a central circle gathering space. Very literally, the assembly space seems to be in the center of this massive castle, for lack of a better word. It is built up all around you, and you can see these long, thin windows. This would have been the height of architecture for the Silver Dominion, and

the dragonborn features would have been ornate and elegant and beautiful while also creating an imposing and intimidating threatening pace all of those have been stripped away and replaced by nothing man where you would imagine there might be a grotesque or a gargoyle or some equivalent of

statue has been effectively raked away. You can even see in some of the spaces on the tower where, on some of the towers where a dragon almost certainly would have climbed. It seems stable. I'm not saying that it's in disrepair, but the nature of this space being what it is, it tells a tale. It tells a story of...

how much for the centuries that it has stood here and feels ancient as you walk into this central space. You immediately notice that there are preparations being made.

Banners are being put up. There are tables being moved into one side of the direction. Chairs and seats are being stationed at another. And in the center, massive logs are being brought in by the cart full and sat down. And there's very clearly what is already a 10, 15 foot tall wooden structure in the center, almost like Lincoln Logs just being built up one after the other.

You're escorted to another side of this gathering space, this huge space, and the kobolds, you need to go in there and make your way up to the top of the tower. There you'll mate with the name, the person I've known my whole life. We will mate with them? You will meet with... Oh, meet with, thank goodness. Meet, meet, meet.

Oh my god! Why are you giving me sexually suggestive eyebrows? You will meet with-- Please say the princess, please say the princess! Whisperfang, leader of the Ivory Clutch. She's not that hot, Mr. Fireblossom. Speak for yourselves. There you will ready yourselves for the ceremony to come. Ready ourselves how? To bathe.

Well, that's nice. I didn't expect that. Are there outsprings? Yeah. Alright. Oh boy. Okay. Well... We will do so.

you push your way through the doors and make your way up. The temptation to stop at each floor and perhaps explore adjoining hallways, make your way down the sides of these is strong, but

You smell the fragrant smell of the baths and immediately make your way up to almost halfway up the top of one of these towers. And there you are handed towels by some others. You are handed cleaning implements. You are given the chance to enjoy a private space with your own poured, extremely warm water.

and you take advantage of that rare time, just like you did in the Hot Springs before you were captured and taken to Ogerton. This is the first time where you are able to truly enjoy a moment by yourself, to truly cleanse yourself in a way that is nearly impossible when you're on the road camping from site to site, from space to space. And...

After, I'd say, another hour or two hours of you truly getting into that relaxed space and your... giving your clothes a brush, making sure that your boots are clean and tidy, feeling prepared for the day, you make your way up the remainder, being guided by more of the kobolds, to finally this top sanctum, this inner space, pushing the door open

You are confronted by a, not the bright light of what you expect, but a very dark inner area. It is cavernous, and you can get the sense that this is the very top of the tower. There are no more stairs to climb. And turning, a winged white kobold with spectacles turns and looks at each of you and gestures to have you come in. In the center of this space is a wide, low basin

of water and it appears to be completely frozen water, literally ice there in the center and small candles burn around the circumference of this room. You can see all kinds of shelves almost like a library on one side, study desks, these sorts of things. Welcome, welcome, welcome, come, come, come in, come in, come in, come in.

Alright, cheers. My name is Whisperfang, Whisperfang, and a pleasure to meet each of you. You are? Scrim. Ah, yes, Scrim. Scrim. Speak up! Sounds like you're whispering. No, no! You don't think they used to be. Whisperfang is just my name. I am one of the oldest houses here in Argentholm. We go back all the way to the beginning. Alright. What's your name?

Name, name, name, name. My name is Barnabo Shredwake, Breaker of the Unbroken. Ooh, and you, sir? Tyshen Fireblossom. Tyshen Fireblossom. Pleasure, pleasure, pleasure, pleasure, pleasure. Queenie, what is your name? I don't know why-- I mean, what is your name, young lady? Holy crap, he's a psychic. My name's Queenie Miss March, if you're nasty. I can't raise my eyebrows. Queenie March.

Yeah. That's a fine name. And are you the tall one? I am called Yorneir. Thank you, thank you. Come in, come in, close the door, close the door, close the door. We have much, much to do before we can prepare ourselves for the oath swearing ceremony. Are you all bathed and ready? Yes, I think we all enjoyed a nice bath. How do we get started here?

Well, we're going to have to make your sigil. We're gonna have to make an artifact. All the tribes, when they finally swore fealty to the Princess of Wrath, took this same path, this process, these steps into the arcane, and were able to produce that which binds them to her, with her, in the land of Drakkar as a tribe. You will be taking these same steps and becoming one.

This, uh, sounds a little bit too much like a deal or some sort of pact for my comfort. Is there some sort of magical binding that is part of this ritual? Without question! Absolutely! If you all together contribute your strengths and you do a good job, then the princess's power will be...

What's the catch? You owe me the catch.

The responsibility and weight of being rulers in Drakkar? No, the monkey paw effect. If we raise arms against the princess or talk ill of her, will there be some sort of horrible curse that kills us dead? No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is an honor. This is not meant to be a back and forth in this way. It should just...

suffuse you with the abilities, the ability to, for example, to be in the winter without any source of warmth and survive all night and day. So it won't exert any magical influence over us, it just

and presents upon us the boon of the princess. You will make your artifact here and then present it to the princess. She will announce, this is very important, announce your presence to the rest of the tribe so that they can spread the word, not just here, of course, but eventually over the course of here, all to the many tribes.

Satellites, towns that are speckled across this great land. And you will be acknowledged, recognized. One of you will have to be chief, of course. I don't know about this. What do you think, Yornio? What are you feeling about this? Seems like something's up here.

I do not believe we have a choice. That's true. I would agree with you very much, sir, Yorneir. There's, uh, well, consequences to defying the princess, even for tribes, chief, tribesmen, her enemies, they know very, very little, if not no, no, no mercy. The breaker of the unbroken will be our chief. Oh. Are you sure about that, Mr. Yorneir?

So you will be the ambassador, the ambassador to the other chieftains and the princess herself. What other option do you suggest? Who's gonna suggest? Mr. Grimnir, the man from Yorn, the man of winter, the man of the land. That's why we're here. I am no chieftain. I am not a leader of men. I am just a simple chef's cook.

He also cut that guy's head off, so that was pretty impressive. And you rallied the ogres, Barnabas. If you think it wise, Mr. Yornear, I trust your triad. I trust you as much as I resisted. And you may have red hair, but I do find your judgment sound. I have played advisor to a Jarl or two in my day, but I am not one to lead. As you say, Mr. Yornear. The breaker of the unbroken shall be chief.

"Very good. When the ritual is complete, I will take the artifact and drop it into your hands, and this will symbolize the invocation of this sigil." "Alright, just tell us what to do." Alright. He pushes his glasses up, these sort of yellow eyes sitting in

sitting in his skull. He has these lithe wings, he turns, he sort of shuffles over and he starts to pull Tomes down. "Give me one moment, I have not done this myself. "As I said, it's been generations. "Just making sure here, yes." All right. My first tattoo. "All right, first I'll need to speak a few words. "Extinguish the candle for me.

Nice! Oh, really? You just do this and all of a sudden smoke is drifting up and around in a circle. That is... I would swirl. That is why he is the prophet of Shagoth of the Blackrock Isle, have you know.

That is remarkable. Master of fire, master of dragon's flame. You'll have to teach me that one. I would record any of those kinds of abilities. It's really quite fascinating. This is what this is all here. A vast trove of knowledge. I would be happy to. I learned such work from Kobolds on the Ice. I think that you could pick it up easily. Very good. Very good. Okay. Next.

He starts to mumble to himself and as he does, he starts to rock back and forth, his eyes closed, and he starts to repeat the same words in a cycle over and over and over. And it doesn't get colder in the room. It's warm enough in this tower, but instead you feel your ears pop.

you feel all of a sudden this squeezing pressure within the space, and it gets a little harder to breathe as you're almost pushed down. Barnabas, you feel almost like when you dip deep, deep, deep, deep fathoms and fathoms below, but as if it's happening at a speed that you've never swam before. And the water, I'm sorry, the ice in the basin suddenly turns to water and begins to ripple and flex.

You can see almost these little darts as if something is pushing up against the bottom of fabric, pushing up against the bottom of this material. It's strange in the Basin. I think it is ready. Now, the way this is going to work is you must describe your strength.

What it is that you are best at or a lesson something that taught you how to be better suffuse the solution with your your your story your tale a memory and if all goes according to plan the artifact will begin to make itself right before our very eyes

I like this goofy little bitch. I like this creepy little fuck. Little super-ridden fucking motherfucker. Give me in any order. Just because you'll be Chieftain Barnaboats does not mean you need to go first, last, second, third, or fourth. All right.

In any order really. Just speak into the... It's pitch black all around you. Speak into the pool and understand the artifact should make itself a symbol of your loyalty and of your identity. I think the root of my... Speak into the pool. Louder. Annunciate. Make sure that it can hear you.

I'll say here and I was bound. Jean-Claude would survive. I think he would actually, yeah.

He'd represent the princess in a court of law. The walrus would literally platinum Jakar. Going back. We're going back. The walrus, number one, the walrus. I'm actually not sure. I think Secundus would vaporize it. No, no, no. The walrus would throw a vote of snow globe and freeze all of his joints and kill him. No, the walrus, the walrus.

would walt in and solo all of Icebound and Jakar, anyone who disagrees, get shit on your own. It's God Mode from games in the early 90s. And to reverse the question, who would do the worst for the uprooted party? Oh, for sure. We'd be dead today. You guys go to make it to the tower and it's over. Anyways.

Well, Basin of Ice... As you speak the words, you get illumination. Almost like this bioluminescent blue ripples out and then hits the edges of the basement and starts to create this amazing matrix of color. And when you go quiet again, it stills. You see visually that the water is responding. My power...

comes from the spirit. My power comes from hope. The hope that the quest I've been sent on by Fu Zhao, I can learn what I need to, I can go back to Jade Shell, I can see Mei Li, I can bring peace. The hope that I can help my friends, my new family, achieve all their goals. Just hope that we can always find a better way and heal this land.

Hope is what ignites my flame. Make a wisdom check. No way. Wisdom check? Not bad. 18. The water, as you're speaking, seems to push out. Pushing out and...

growing and glowing. Eventually, as you're halfway through your tale, you realize the words are coming effortlessly. In the back of your mind, you're amazed to see the water lift up.

from the basin. Much stays in the basin, but now all of a sudden this shape starts to twist and change and transform right before you. And you all feel this pressure, almost like wind pushing up against you, and as it is almost being pushed and forged and crafted directly in front of you, and it becomes a perfect

sphere, an orb, and inside you can see a torrential blizzard, almost a whiteout, racing back and forth and whipping in all directions. It's beautiful. Is this it? Is this the beginning of the sigil? It seems to be a representation of your strength. Is that all I do? I believe you've contributed, yes, yes, yes. Okay.

We don't have to, like, throw anything in, right? I mean, like, offer up anything? Oh, no, no, no. Oh, and don't touch it. If you were to put your hand in, I think you'd lose a finger or two. Oh, sweet God, you wouldn't have mentioned that before we started? I was literally about to touch it. Oh, really?

Yeah! Don't do that! I would've cried out! No! No, don't do that! You know, you really think somebody would mention that before you-- It's fine, it's fine, I'll go, I'll go. And I'll walk up to the edge of the pool and I'll lean way over and I'll start screaming into it. Can you hear me?! Pool magic water! It almost sloshes on the other side of the basin as it reacts and continues to shift in chaos. Alright.

The source of everything that I am, from that fateful night onward, is that infernal contract that I signed. That deal that I made. Ever since then I've had these dark powers and this omen following me, incessantly. I've never been closer to unraveling all of this. And I've never wanted to less. But my true strength comes from all of my friends. None of us would be here if any one of us was missing. We couldn't have done it without each other. And for that, I'm grateful.

The lesson here is to be a better conman. That's all I have to say. I'm gonna take your stuff back.

As you were talking, the orb itself had been shifting and almost as though it was defying gravity, these droplets lift up from the basement, from the basin and absorb into the central item. You can see that it is beginning to harden and take shape in some ways and elongate. The orb shifts and transforms and the blizzard stills as it becomes a pure blade of ice.

spinning there, hovering in the center of the room, illuminating with a brilliant bright blue color. All right, it's looking pretty badass! Make a wisdom or charisma throw. Charisma, that's not even close. It's gonna be a 21 total. Oh, sorry, sorry. I'm just very excited. Well done, Scrim, well done. I suppose as chieftain, I should go. The strength that I provide my friends is strength...

Sweat of my brow, and the strength of my back, and the ability to kill. I remember my first kill when I was a young lad. It had just gone to the surface. I had been getting stronger ever since my father left. I became a man grown. I kept trying to get stronger and stronger and eventually I found myself as a deckhand. Small merchant ship. We were boarded.

by elvish corsairs in the dead of night. They killed almost all of the crew, but I was strong enough for them to spare me. And I didn't have the choice. They shackled me, put me to work. But then, when we were attacked by a serpent at sea, they released me from my chains and I killed the beast. The great harpoon plunged right into its eye. That was my first kill, but it was not my last.

I became quite good at it, until I brought my anchor down on my own father and the killing still didn't stop then. And as the unbroken learned yesterday, Barnabas Dreadwake was born to kill. As you are speaking the words, occasionally taking a pull from your pipe, you all see his face glow, or deep orange and red, as the coal within the pipe

strengthens, and you watch the turning blade start to shift and broaden. It starts to get a bit wider at one end and still tapers to a point, but it almost becomes jagged, and you realize that as it turns, it has twisted into what is very evidently the tooth of some carnivore, some sort of a beast, a predator's tooth, and it looks ready to bite.

It is still seemingly made of ice, but it is no longer transparent. It is starting to become more opaque and take the shape that it is meant to be. Go ahead and make a strength check for me. 24. Oh! Baby!

That was very harrowing. Well done, Barnabus. And he walks over and he's about to like pat you on the back and then you like sort of, uh... Who am I? Never mind. Just you two remaining. I'm not trying to nag. Queenie's staring at this thing and she looks horrified, almost. Trembling. The first time probably in a while you've seen her legitimately scared. Do I sense that? Yeah. She's... It's...

She would be trying to hide it, but it's impossible. I will approach the base in them, seeing that Queenie's not ready. I am called Yorneir, and I have no power. I am simply the conduit for the triad. Anam, Odin, Mammut. I am the vessel for the weird, the fabric that connects us all. The mystic rhythms under northern and southern lights.

The primitive things in the heart of all I simply reach, and it beckons my call. But the power is not mine. No. And I'll back away. You speak clearly and loudly into the basin, and more of this strange material seems to fly up and continue to push into the...

artifact and it is shrinking a little bit. It is starting to harden almost the way you imagine coal might be turned into a diamond deep under the earth and the tooth shape

Again, it bends and turns like this, and you realize that out of one end, the new material having joined it has blossomed into a flower, almost made of ice. As glittering and brilliant, the tooth has become almost a stem to this eternally blossoming flower. And I need you to make a nature check for me.

Can I kiss this? Absolutely, man. Yeah, of course. Yeah, yeah. We'll do three. Three's great. You and Carino. I think you should be at an advantage for quoting this. Whisper Faye is a fan of Rush. The 80s Rush era underrated. I knew I liked this silly little bitch.

Whistlerfang likes him! 15. 15. I bet it all. Thank god you twisted. Yeah, seriously. Okay. Nearly there now. Oh, it's beautiful. Can you put out that pipe thing? It's a little distracting. I'm trying to take notes. I look just down at him. Very, very good. Very good. I look at you in the ear and just nod. All right, then. Um...

Some people might think that my greatest strength is bravery, but that would be a lie for a liar. Truth be told, I'm not all that brave. I walked away from my past. I crafted my past into what I wanted it to be and not what it truly was. Because I'm not brave, but what I am is unrelenting.

and the horrors of that past that haunt me and have made me see here who and what I truly am and what I truly do not want to be ever again. That has made me unrelentant for my friends, for the people that I love, and for the one person who deserves so much more than I ever gave him. Eldred, you have made me unrelentant. And with a tear, Queenie will look down at the orb. You see their basin is nearly empty.

and your tear falls from your face to hitting the side of the bowl, but it doesn't reach that side. It stops and with the rest of the material pulls and pushes itself up and forward and hits the blossoming flower. I need you to make a wisdom check. 17. It hits the object and it continues to

harden and take form. The blossom itself extends out. Many of the petals start to stretch out and the tooth that was a tooth now becomes a stem, begins to twist and push upwards. And for a moment, you think that you're staring at the shape or outline of a bear.

You can see the legs, you can see the paws, you can see the arms, you can see the big bulbous body and its nose stretched out, but it continues to stretch and taper upwards. You can see, instead of feet and claws and paws, hooves. And before you, you realize a small, rotating, woolly rhino has emerged in front of you. Whoa.

"Well done, well done! Where is it? Where is it?" The Whisperfang runs over to one corner and pulls out these metal tongs. "It's not for me, it's not for me, it's not for me!" He reaches up and he grasps it with these tongs, this woolly rhino, and swings it over. "Extend your hand, Mr. Dreadwick!" "All right!"

and he drops it. It's quite cool. And you feel it hit. It's not icy at all. And said, it actually just feels almost like it is made of bone, like a horn. It's brilliantly crafted, and you realize that you're holding perhaps something that will be meaningful not just for you, if the tribe that you are now

Making a real Vindrakar is to last for beyond your death, beyond your lives. It would be something that would be held for generations by chieftains like yourselves, just as the other tribes' chiefs certainly do. Aye. And this is the symbol of our-- of my authority as the chief.

It is the symbol of your authority as the chief. It is the symbol of your loyalty to the princess. And it is a representation of your strength as a tribe. What you bring to the rest of Drakkar. I know you are not from here, but that is a powerful symbol here. Powerful indeed. That is amazing. Well, that's all done then.

Well, that wasn't so hard. I know it wasn't. You're to keep that on you, and if you need to show it in a challenge or to remind the princess of your faith, you will have it there wet on your person at all times. May I allow my advisor to hang on to it? Trinkets of bone and beast are more of his thing. It is unusual, but I don't...

We're not policing how the other chiefs keep their trinkets, so long as you do not lose it. It is an important... It binds and enchants all those under her wing. You're near... No, no, no, let me just touch it for a moment, Barnabas. I just want to check it out. Let me see it, please. Please! It's so cool! Come on, come on, let me just look at it real quick. Ah, come on, come on! No, no, no, come on, come on, I'm just... No, no, no, I just want to touch it, I want to see it, come on! You made it! I will let you hold it. I want you to know...

That Mr. Yorneir here is my right hand. He speaks with the chief's voice, do you understand? Ah, your right hand. Very good. Make sure you give that to Mr. Yorneir when you're done taking a look at it. I just want to look at it real quick. Ah, yeah. Yes. How heavy is it? You expect it to be heavier.

It is as heavy as the handle to a dagger without the blade. Wow. And it's about, it's not very big. No, it's smaller than that even. Oh, yeah. Well, maybe in Barnabas's hand, but in Scrim's hand it might be a bit bigger. Oh, wow. Okay, I'm done with this. I just hang it up to you here. What is the nature of this sorcery? Let us see. A ritual in a...

Um...

Yeah, yeah, um is right. Um! That wouldn't... Oh, Sig, this is the name of, the proper name of the Princess of Wrath. Well, of course, of course. She doesn't... Princess isn't her first name. Obviously, idiot. You said that you awoke her many years ago and began the process of rebuilding your car. Where did you find her?

My ancestors, the first Whisperfangs, they journeyed far and they eventually believing that they would be able to find the one that they could call. They left and went to the highest of the mountain peaks. It was there that they found the sleeping princess. Rousing her as we did, we brought her back from her slumber and asked her to rule.

Yes. Oh, there is strength in numbers. Greed. I will take great care of this.

I hope to visit you as you continue to grow as a tribe. I think that there's great value in what you are doing here. Being from beyond Drakkar, you have much to teach us, we to teach you, and preparations as the princess has foreseen. There's a terrible danger coming. I gotta be honest, I'm a little surprised at how welcoming you are.

I thought for sure that this was only gonna be because the princess said it had to be so. Hey, pleasure. My pleasure, really. Anything you need at all. Is the forging of the sigil the only thing that we need to prepare us for the ceremony or are there other steps? You did bathe. Yes. Then, uh...

One moment. He opens the door and all of your ears pop loudly in your skull, reverberating. Oh, I forgot. Oh, I'm sorry. Unpleasant. I'm still blood there. You can see the yellow light of the sky is turning dark orange. We've been doing this for some time. It is nearly time for the ceremony. As soon as it is dark, we can begin to swear your oath.

Then we must go. Follow me, follow me. And you are all led down past the showers that you enjoyed and walking out into the assembly. I keep wanting to say square, but it is a circle. You reach down and...

You can see that a number of the tribes have all gathered. It is clear that all of the chieftains are there with a small contingent of their closest allies within each of the tribes. You would see the Shadow Vale Cabal elves have gathered

circled in one corner, you see Stormfist Legion and the Goliaths, and you see their brand new chief, less than a day old, staring directly at you, Barnabas. The...

On the other side there are orcs and you are amazed to find that they do indeed look like almost duplicates of Yornir. They have quarterstaffs, they have and they are adorned with very very similar robes. You see a group of very very stout looking, not bright red, but

dusky red braided beards, again, making a sharp contrast against their dark blue skin, what are very clearly dwarves, all of them wearing ornate armor. And to the side, you see wearing nearly nothing at all, a variety of minotaurs, each of them with huge battle axes strapped to their backs. And you walk in, and looking around, you do not see the princess. Um,

But you are guided by Whisperer Fang to the center, just standing next to this large wooden structure that has been built over the time of your ceremony. It's now standing 35 feet tall in the air, this tower of lumber. And it takes, for just a moment, you take in all of these details, and it's then that you see

right down the bridge through the gate a parting of all of the people and you can see walking down that at first small but getting larger and larger are woolly rhinos one behind the next behind the next behind the next one after the other after the other um and they're being guided in uh

almost by leashes on either side by kobolds, walking in and towards. And in the sky, you see swooping down the massive white wings of the ice dragon known as the Princess of Wrath. She swoops down close to the woolly rhinos that sort of buck and turn underneath her wings.

great flapping of wings before she transforms and lands on the very first woolly rhino, starting to ride it into the assembly area, essentially making her presence known, making her way and announcing her presence in this way. Horns flare as she emerges and you can hear people, "Princess! Princess!" There are people chanting all around you. What are you doing in these moments as she arrives? Real quick, while we were leaving the Citadel,

I wanted to just quickly, as we're going down, cast Locate Object. And the object is the Hexature Armament. Just on the way down, if it was ever within a thousand feet of me, I would sense it. Even behind total cover? I believe with Object...

Cover does not matter. That's pretty cool. Your mirror is a bad, bad man. I try, you know what I mean? Oh, look over there, the orc. It's my far. Oh, hold on. The wooden metal I thought in there. Like a foot of wood. Anything that's lead. Lead. Lead. Lead. It's person that...

It needs to be out of cover. I have kept it underneath a grain of pencil! Yeah, so as long as it's not a lead box. Yeah, even if it's just a thin sheet of lead, it totally blocks it. Oh shit. You don't know that. There's a lead box! Let me read the spell here. Yeah, read it. It's called Locate Object. It's a second level. It's divination.

It's VSM. It requires a forked twig. Are you gonna hide the casting of the spell? I would try to do it subtly. He seems sort of like, kind of spazzy and like, you know, like consumed with getting it, like leading us there. So as he turned to leave, I just wanted to sort of, and I didn't get it in before we started moving on, but I just wanted to kind of quickly and kind of quietly cast the spell to myself. Okay.

One of the other provisions of the spell is that you have seen the object up close within 30 feet. Yep. And I would say that very fortunately, you have seen it because of the transparent vision that you were given as you were fighting the Elder Brain. It was just lodged at the base of the Nautiloid structure, and you would have been...

29 feet away. Very, very close. Right on the edge. Serendipitous. And it's in this moment that you cast it that you realize that it's not a thousand feet or 500 feet away. This object could be 50 feet from you, 40 feet, and you're walking and you realize it's not moving. It is just there at a balcony above the circled area.

I would keep that to myself. Wait, was it up in the tower when we were up there? It's not the same tower, right? But there is very much a balcony that stretches out and over. I see. If you're picturing when the Pope comes out on the Vatican, that sort of thing, there's a balcony up there and you're like, it's either on that balcony or just inside the door. Got it. She has like a war pedestal. I'll keep that to myself. To answer your question about what we're doing, I would have put my pipe away.

knowing that, you know, if I'm gonna be chief in this sort of situation, it would be disrespectful for me to just like be smoking while she's descending. I will basically grab my shell and be kind of looking at it and holding it on the whole walk down, and I will put it aside and would have basically straightened up and just stood and looked at her and just stood very firmly, not trying, like holding my ground from any gust of wind and just showing strength amongst these people that respect strength.

You are also pleased to be demonstrating this strength as you notice that they are on the side of the bridge. There are lots of onlookers who have all essentially crowded that space looking in to hear and watch the oath swearing ceremony, something that many, many, many of them have not been old enough to see seemingly. And there are a number of ogres among them, even here within the assembly.

You maintain this posture and the woolly rhinos are brought in and essentially encircle the large wide open space. There's still room enough for them to be brought in. You can hear them huffing and breathing loudly. These enormous brilliant creatures with this long horn that stretches up towards the sky.

Torches are beginning to be lit all along the side as the light gets dimmer and dimmer and dimmer. The princesses timed her arrival just for the moment that Eeyore brought into the shadows.

She arrives the whisper Fang clearly her equivalent of your near here the the right hand of the princess runs up to the woolly Rhino that she rides and Reaches her hand out to his hand out to help her down She ignores it and with a very graceful hop jumps down and then with a second more powerful leap

jumps up and into the balcony that I described earlier, landing with her feet and turning to address the crowd. Peoples of Drakkar, for generations, few of you, for generations, few of you are alive to see the last oath swearing ceremony. I am pleased you will be here to witness it today. Let it serve as a reminder of what binds us all together, a reminder of what we must protect

A reminder of Drakkar, of this land, as harsh as it is, and what it has forged us into. And let me also remind all of you, as I'm sure you know, of the dangers that threaten us now. For I have vanquished one, but you will have to vanquish me.

the remainder with me when they come. And she reaches down and she pulls out what you can clearly see is the head of Secundus. Its eyes are glowing yellow, its mouth is sparking, it is no longer attached, you can see dangling almost like coiled intestines or something hanging down this coil and you see that it is still alive.

When you hear it go, screams out in this jarbled mechanical insanity and it reverberates through the space. She takes it and she puts it and you can hear something close and the muffled scream continues. They come in search of this. And she reaches down and she pulls out, it's about the size of a wheel of cheese, a...

Hexature armament rotating perfectly in her hand, rotating like two bolts lodged against face to face in this space, turning ever so slowly. She holds it up. This is what they seek, a powerful artifact. It is mine. It is ours. Together, we will make this place stronger for its power. But first, reaffirmations, tribute.

She reaches out. Grimgar! She puts both of her hands on the balcony and leans down. Of the Stormfist Legion, he walks forward. He's this broad, muscular, scarred gentleman, very similar to Korovac, though his eye is not missing. His skin mottled gray like storm clouds. He's got two big iron bracers on his knuckles. And she goes, "What gold do you have to present today?"

Word has reached us that a thousand more Stormfists will reach Argentholm soon. We have no gold to present you, but these are young, brave men who have just come of age. Our strength multiplies and our loyalty is resolute! Very good. I am pleased to hear this. Though you have no gold to present, I am thrilled to know that your tribe is growing.

For when it was cut in half, when the coward Maka left our lands, coward left and left you to me. You were weak then, but your strength grows. I accept the gift of these thousand. Dargus Ironvein, of the Ironvein Brotherhood, what do you have as tribute?

And Dargus, stout, dark blue skin dwarf, dusky braided red beard, the largest of the dwarves, walks forward. You see that his hands and face are clean, and it gives you a sense that he has tremendous respect for craftsmanship. At his side dangles a massive hammer, and you can see the sides of both of the hammers actually glow red as though eternally ready for the forge. I'm gonna fuck this up, but I'm gonna do my best.

A thousand gold. More than half of what we could summon from the Under Ice last month, I know. Rest assured the Iron-Vein Brotherhood will break through to find more of what the princess seeks, among other things. A thousand? Yeah. A thousand gold! Your tribute is very accepted. Do whatever you can. Dig deep and find more ore. Lord, like demons. Udo.

Udo Proud Runner, where is the chief of the horned wayfarers? Massive and tall, deep shadowy black fur, polished horns, and a broad greataxe at his back, a minotaur stands forward. Far fewer. Only 53 gold pieces. Our runners continue to comb Drakkar for coin, as you say, under your wing.

We offer four ho- We offer these coins, and we'll redouble our efforts now- even now in Winter's Fool Embrace. Only 53 coins. We will have to have a conversation, I think. It is accepted. Elder Nightbloom of the Shadowvale Cabal, what do you bring? This elderly elf, older than you could possibly imagine, and amongst, uh, only the very young.

steps forward. Her skin is like the color of the moon, bald and heavily tattooed as her brothers and sisters. Her eyes are void and her robes seem to almost absorb light. None. We have... And suddenly a voice cries out. You see a hand reach up from the crowd and pushing through the crowd you can hear the jingle of a few coin. Nimrodel pushes into the center of the assembly. Damn it.

I have coin! I have coin as tribute! I have coin! Please, please take... I have 25 gold pieces right here! 25 gold pieces as tribute. This is very good. It is not 53, nor is it 1,000, but it is better than nothing. And... I have but just one ask. Just one ask. Please. Please. Send me. Send me to the beyond. Please, I ask. I ask you. Grant my wish. My wish for death. Please. Please, princess. Please!

She looks down for a long moment, Princess, and considers. "This I cannot grant you. Not today. Not until the Shadowveil Cabal brings me more magics, more of the power that I know you are all capable of. Go." Spiritcaller Greywind, "Where can I find the Spiritkeeper Chieftain?"

Yeah, okay. This guy's pretty cool. Yeah, this guy's fucking awesome. The Spirit Keepers! We have no gold to offer you!

As you say, we will redouble our efforts. We will multiply the herds so there is food. We will grow the trees so there is fuel. We are the stomach of this city, and we will make sure that it is fed. That is enough. That is enough. Make sure that you are accepting gold for the things that you bring to offer. And you, and you...

I will look at Scrim. I'm like, I'm intentionally not trying to look at you.

You can tell that I'm fucking shook based on everything that just fucking happened. The fact that we just saw Secundus' screaming head and the fact that Nimrodel just gave away the 25 mil pieces I gave him and the fact that he begged for death and was denied. Scrim is sweating and he was just avoiding eye contact with Baros. Let's get some Scrim emotes and chat. And you see him just do that. I just want to keep looking at him. Mm-mm-mm-mm.

What? What do you want me to do? We are new, tribe. We offer you 100 gold pieces, and I take all of my gold out of my satchel and lay it out before her. We may be new, and we may be small, but on our first day, we come to honor you with all that we have. Aye. Miss March, my master of coin.

- Bye, gold coin. - Kobold runs up and grabs the coin from you and starts to take it towards the, towards and into the bastion. The princess leans down to hear you, Barnabas. - I am Barnabas, the Dread Wake, the Grey Leviathan, the Herald of Trothak, the Breaker of the Unbroken. With this coin and the might of all of the survivors,

of the town once known as Ogerton. We will stand shoulder to shoulder against the metal menace. And my right hand, the one known as Yorneir, speaks with my voice. I'll step behind Yorneir. I'm gonna say some sage-ass shit. She actually has put one arm against the balcony and has sat up to listen. And she raises her arm and stretches it out for everyone to see.

Such fair words from the foreigners. They may be new, but they know how to please their princess. Speak, Jornir. I would hear you before naming your tribe. I am but a pilgrim on a long, dangerous pilgrimage. But as representative of my chieftain, I speak for the land. I speak for the land.

I'll pull out the figurine.

When you do this, she swings her legs over the balcony and drops down, landing gracefully on the same level as you and walks forward and extends her hand out for the artifact. I will place it in her hand. Interesting. This sigil is the symbol of their loyalty, their strength, their dedication to the Princess of Wrath and to Drakkar. I name them.

the icebound castaways. Let any who find their ways to our lands, who find no house to be their own, find their ways to the graceful halls of theirs. And she hands you back the woolly rhino, and she claps twice, and one of the kobolds on the side jumps forward and goes, Volta! Volta!

And then all of a sudden drums. Oh shit. Everyone comes to life and you see kobolds run forward. They begin to ignite this massive structure that's been built up in the center of the space.

You are the only one who speaks Draconic, Taishan, and so you're the only one who recognizes the bound by ice declaration that this kobold has made. And the princess chatter immediately, commotion starts to spin, and it seems that everyone has been released from this

moment of oath swearing to enjoy the festivities. You see them making their way over to enjoy meats and vegetables and prepared food. Immediately some drive over to enjoy not water, but the meads and ales, these sorts of things. And you realize you're in a party. This is what's happening all around you. And the princess leans in. Well done. It pleases me to welcome you under my wing. Ha ha.

Great. How did you rip the head off of Secundus? It was not an easy fight, I will admit. But he was confused. If he had been more focused, I think he could have taken me. But I was able to eventually wrest his head from his body. Did he have an Amokaptive with him? Yes. Did he give you his name? The name he gave me was Ket Rustine. He is part of our tribe.

Thank you for rescuing him for us, your grace. We will talk. Enjoy the festivities. And she taps your face a few times, peaceably, and then turns to go and seemingly make a beeline for Udo, the wayfarer, the minotaur who didn't have much to contribute. Leaving the five of you there to enjoy a moment

amongst yourselves. Do we need our minis for this? Oh yeah. Yeah, I think it's really important that we get the minis out. Okay. You have to remember your line, Mace. I can't keep it.

Just pat, you can probably just pat his mouth. Can nobody else's hand fit in this thing? I want to stick my hand in the shot of Colossus. It's a really small one. It's a really small one. It's super tight by design. Didn't even slow him down. Nope, not even a bit. Oh! That's good, grab the last one out of there.

Nice! Nice. This is so foul to put your hand in. Can I just say... It's a little weird. It makes no sense. It's the most disgusting sensation. I can't imagine pulling buttery food out and consuming it. No, no, no, once you do this, it's straight, it's straight, uh... However...

It's a cookie jar. We are going to attempt to eat popcorn out of this for a movie night. We have to say a huge thank you to Keely. Thank you for sending us the Shia Lester. How am I going to edit this?

Ezritin! Ezritin! You can edit it however you want. I think Queenie would go up to the buffet table to the Shy Halasi and take it and eat popcorn. You run up and you see that all of the ogres have taken their own Shy Halasi and they're none for you when you make it to the table. We're all out, I'm sorry. God, they really should make more of these limited edition items. Did you really piss in the alley?

Oh, yeah, a lot. We didn't find any piss. I drink a lot of water. It's clear. I go to the DJ and request a song, and it starts playing over the PA system. Oh, hold on.

Castaways. We are castaways. Ahoy there, ahoy. We are castaways. Anyway. The backyard. Can you pass me the chocolate? The backyard. That's your backyard. Oh, hold on. I'm going to try one more time. Ironically slaps.

POV, you're a minimum wage bargain in Spiceworks, you're just trying to put food on the table. That's very funny. That's a nightmare. Please put that away. I thought you were gonna say, "Let me try one more thing and then just put it under the table." That's a little too close to TOS.

Hand wash only. Oh. Honestly, I'm gonna hand wash that thing. Are we taking a break or are we gonna continue? No, we're finished. We're finished. I just had to make sure we got the Shy Halessian here at least once.

That's where you find yourselves in this moment, having gone through a ceremony of sigil creation, swearing your oath, your fealty, your... I fucked it up, fealty, and feeling a little changed, feeling a little changed by your experience. Do we feel... do I feel like I have a new magical boon? Oh shit!

I need everyone to make an unmodified d20 roll. Oh shit. This would have happened at the conclusion of the sigil making. It's all good stuff. It's all fine. 18, that's one. One check. 15. Check. Five. X. 14. Check. Oh.

- Oh, I got an X. I got a natural one. - Natural one, okay, thank you. So as you made your checks, I started at a DC 20, and as you successfully told your strength stories, I lowered the DC based on your wisdom roll or nature roll and what have you, and the DC got down to 13. With three successes, you each enjoy the following boons in perpetuity. - That's good enough. - Oh, you have a once per day guidance

Seems good. Oh, nice. And you all have cold resistance. Also good. That's amazing. Do I get double cold resistance? You get double cold resistance. Cold immunity? Cold immunity? No, no. Fuck! Yours doesn't stack. That's just outrageous. Thank you, Derek. Immunity is a thing. Thank you. My pleasure. You tried, Mace. I really appreciate it. I really do. Drums. Food. Fire for warmth.

Four stories fucking tall. It's starting to grow larger and larger. What was the third thing?

I said three successes. If you had gotten one success, you would have gotten nothing. For two successes, you would have gotten a once a day guidance. For three successes, you would have gotten cold resistance. For four successes, you would have gotten plus one into all melee range and spell attacks. And for five, you would have all gotten a boost of one AC.

Holy shit. Damn. Can we twist those? I have a feeling that's one Derek would have told us he weren't allowed to twist. Oh, man. I feel the boons. The boons. In my gluies. The boons. Boons.

You can choose to pass this time uneventfully. I know that it's 12:30, but you are assembled in a space with other chieftains, with the princess, with the ogres, with each other. How do you want to spend the next feasting period? I would have made sure that the ogres were actually enjoying the feast and being fed. That would be my number one priority. Many get food.

Aye. All the ogres are already full because they ate before they even showed up. They were just stalking the kitchen. That's what you think. Oh, no. Well, Manny, I'm glad that you all are here. You are all icebound castaways. Castaways, we are castaways. What? That is our tribe!

It's a terrible name. Oh, well. Oh, I didn't mean it. Maybe we can petition to something cooler, eh? Maybe. Maybe we can become the Shark Punchers. You think Shark Punchers? I think that might be it. In honor of the greatest of all the ogre gods, Trothek the Shark Puncher. What is shark? I... Oh! And I have two shark heads. These are sharks. Oh!

You punch with shark. Got it. Aye. Aye, it's not. I mean, it's technically both punching sharks and then also punching with sharks. Aye. He takes another, like, long drink from his flagon and another big bite off of what is some sort of turkey-like beast's leg. Aye. Are the woolly rhinos still there? Yeah. Yeah, they've all been hitched into a circle around this space. I would just walk up to one and thank it for its, you know, importance to the land.

your sacred creatures, and I do not know how you feel about the leadership of your rider, but know that you are well respected. And I'll give it a scratch on the head. It seemingly enjoys this touch and gives you not a knowing look, but you look into its eyes and you feel there's this ancient wisdom there. Creatures...

I don't know if we ever decided if you've seen them in Mammut before, certainly. I don't think so. Or I guess, I don't know, maybe... Probably they'd be native to Jakar. Yeah. These are native creatures, and they remind you very much of the mammoths from your circle. I would just spend time, you know, like that person at the party that doesn't want to talk to anyone, but there's a dog there. Yeah, 100%. 100%. He's talking to the boy right now. That's what I'm doing. Yeah.

I, and we don't have to roleplay this, but I would take my time and I would literally go to every single one of the chieftains. And I would basically try to get them to tell me their general story and their general biz. Okay. And I would try to basically tell my story. Barnabas goes into networking mode. Yeah. I would literally go into full networking mode. I'm trying to meet all the CEOs. Okay.

You immediately get a sense that you have to run to Yornir because there's a presentation, an acknowledgement, a wink between chieftains. The first chieftain that you go to... I have Yornir in my right hand. No, I'll play with the dogs. I would probably pull you away. That's fine, I would let you do it. I would go by myself. Let's say that you go to... I would join you if you need me.

All right. That's hilarious. Let's say that you go to the Spirit Keepers and you walk up to Spiritcaller Greywind. You get a chance to converse with them and you make some of these probing questions. He keeps it a little bit close to his chest, but he does sort of as an acknowledgement hold up his own artifact and it's clearly very sacred to him. This amazing, beautiful, shaped...

and some strange light almost passes through it. And then he puts it back over his neck, and once you've shown your sort of woolly rhino, it becomes a conversation between chieftains. And there's an immediate camaraderie almost, like a trust there. Once you show him your woolly rhino. Exactly right. Exactly right.

And then you also produce this. Why will you or... Joe Rose shows up. He's just standing there eating a Reuben. A little ceramic plate and Reuben. I'm here for the food. Let's hands out back.

I would converse with him and say, "Oh, Grey Wind, and you have a slain wolf's head on your thing? You're my favorite. You're my special top pick. Spirit Collar, Grey Wind."

And I would, yeah, I would go and I would have Yorner come with me and present the Woolly Rhino. I would let him handle it and basically go to each one and talk and obviously anyone else who'd want to come with me and meet anybody. Grey Wind has learned that you owe him.

You owe him quite a bit without gold or some initial agreement. It was his foodstuffs that was on the winter market today and his provisions that you secured and brought back to your district that the ogres went and agreeably traded for. But he's excited for you to visit or for him to perhaps visit you to talk about what that IOU really means. Behold my woolly rhino.

Behold my woolly rhino. I would offer Yornir's help as a druid of the Arctic. Of the ice and the cold, as far as how there could be assistance in feeding Arjenhalm. He seems pragmatic about the realities of what it means for a city like this to survive. With tens of thousands of souls in it, it is no easy feat to gracefully live off the land and still respect it. And you...

Have that conversation. You're in luck. I took this spell called fertility, which I will not elaborate on. We know that spell. We know that spell. You didn't invent that. Yeah, but do you have a wall with tiny flailing hands? Human hands.

Look at your spell again. Uh-oh. Graewind. The DM giveth and the DM taketh away. Spiritwalker caller, Spiritcaller Graewind, may your gobs be brutal and cunning and cunning and brutal. I can't believe you took the hands away.

I'm sorry. After everyone we leave, since I'm his advisor, I go, "My king, they mean us ill! Treachery! We must backstab them!" Taigen, Scrim, what are you doing during the-- while Barnabus and Yorner seemingly network?

I would have stuck with Barnabus as he was going around greeting all the other chieftains.

I wouldn't have been looking to interact with this person, but just out of a strange curiosity with all the chieftains and gathered tribes, I would wonder if I kept my eyes open for it if I ever end up seeing that one guy. Look at us, that one guy.

Who's always like, Tom Bombadil? Not that one guy. Oh! Yeah, that guy. Tom Bombadil. You mean the guy that you initially met in the tavern? No, his name is not Tom Bomb- I'm saying there's a parallel. Are you referring to the gentleman, the drunk in the tavern? Yeah. Make a perception check. Oh, the human. Yeah, he is the fucking Tom Bombadil. Yeah. Oh shit, he's also Garth the Great. Shut the fuck up!

Is that from Gwendolyn? Is that from Gwendolyn? Actually, after the hypnotic

- After his feet, after the order of his hands, Barg goes, "Ew!" - There it is, folks. It took us five hours and five minutes. - That's the kind of chieftain energy you can expect from me. Ice battle. - Udo Proud Runner is attempting to burn it.

My master of laws, this is the squint plate. 21. Oh yeah, you, for whatever reason, this spark in the back of your mind, you turn and you see right next to the kegs of ale, pouring himself another frothy flagon, is a tall sort of...

Slickback, balding, like half-haired man, gray hair, a little pudgy, sort of round, rosy cheeks, and you see that same person. He's leaning up against the side of the keg, just sort of observing everything, and you see that he has sort of a tome under one arm. I wouldn't go to him. I would just kind of mention to Barnabus and Yorner, like, you know, you'll never guess who's here. That one guy.

What's his fucking deal? I don't know! Is he like an Ernest Hemingway reference or something? I don't get it. What the fuck are you talking about? Hey, I'm the old man of the sea, Mr. Yorneir! Oh, that's true. You keep Ernest out of this. That's very funny. Perhaps you go speak to him. That really wasn't Yorneir's voice. Perhaps you go speak to him. There we go. Well, I suppose I could see what...

What he's doing here? Strange, the only human, not in chains. Oh, oh, Goten. Hello there! Hello! I see you've, uh, you've found yourself at the, uh... the house sigil party. Yep! I see you managed to survive the great crash of... yester... yesterday. Yes! And now, we're the Icebound Castaways. That is remarkable!

How did you manage that? Well, I don't know. We didn't choose the name. I can say very much. The princess has many, many strengths, beauty, wealth, riches, power, command of all that you see before you. But a poet she is not. Are you a poet?

I am! Is that the book you read under your arm? This is the book I write. Oh. A collection of your own poetry? It is a cantos. It is the story of the princess. Every deed I've learned while living in this city, everything that I think of and observe ends up here in my tome. Interesting. Would you mind if I read it? It's not finished yet! Maybe I could give you notes. No.

I wouldn't allow any soul to read this until it was perfect. How much more do you have to write, do you think? Well, one story eludes me. The origin, the beginning. I have much of the middle, much of the end, I think. The beginning eludes me. If you know where she was before her great slumber...

He fills another flagon and... Yeah, yeah.

Sure, it's a party. And he hands you a flag moments later. And you don't get much more out of him. He's drunk, very evidently so. And every time you start to turn back to what topics you might think are important, he immediately starts talking about...

Subjects of, like, hobbies and gardening and, well, where he came from outside of her car. These kinds of unimportant details. Oh, yeah, that's... What was that? Oh, sorry. Barnabas is calling. The breaker of the unbreakable. It's been a pleasure. Enjoy the party. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Before you go. Can I live in your district?

I'll bring it up with the chieftain. Thank you. Put in a good word for the poet. Don't call us, we'll call you. We'll get back to you. Scrim. I would be partying and eating food and basically trying not to leave the relative safety of the ogres. Because I would not have gone with the rest of the consort who is out talking with the other chieftains. I'd probably be very interested in the cabal.

and maybe like getting ever so closer to where they're kind of all congregating, like maybe like listening in. But I'd mostly be interested in trying to find Nimrod El and ask him what the fuck he was thinking. It's easy enough. I think that once you meet eyes with him, he would immediately recognize you from your experience, not 24 hours ago, and race up. Hello, Scrim. It's so good to see you in such good health.

What the hell was that, man? What are you thinking? A chance? I had to take a chance. I know it's a lot of money, but I couldn't spend it and let others take the tribute prize. Oh. Is there always a prize for a tribute? Not always, but I...

I hoped. I'm getting much older and I... Every day that goes by I stress, I worry, I've done so much good. I... If I'm not ended soon then I will be a shame to my family. Oh, this is dark. Well...

I don't know what to tell you. I mean, it sounded like she was kind of like, you were winning her over there. It sounded like she was like, not today, but maybe tomorrow, you know? I will have to redouble my efforts. I will have to do more good. And in this, I will eventually catch her respect, and she will allow me to be devoured. Okay. Well, good luck with that. Oh, boy. I got to say, though, you know, with the, you know, like 25 gold pieces compared to a thousand of those other guys brought over, what are they going to get?

I think they just give it willingly. Oh man, I don't understand this place at all. I imagine it was a bit of a faux pas, which is why she probably denied my request. If I had perhaps asked in another context or written the request, maybe she would have granted it. Yeah, well, this is a little awkward. I'm gonna go get another drink. Do you want me to get it for you?

No, no. Are you sure? You can come with me if you want. I'm very helpful. Yes, yes, I'll get you a drink. Just accompany. He starts walking away. Jeez. I would just follow. Just accompany him. He hands you a flag. You're all continuing to engage with the party as the pyre builds up in flames higher and higher and higher. Once the flames are basically near the top, however, you hear the voice of the princess yell out.

The time has come to conclude the oath swearing ceremony. A final blessing to unite our tributes, our tribes, so we may flourish and persevere together. She transforms into her dragon form there on the balcony, pushing her hands into the stone so that she can support the tremendous weight of her huge ancient dragon standing there, lurches over and above all of you and the rest of the crowd.

It is time to let the cold in. And she breathes forward and not 15 feet from above you. You hear this tremendous... And this is a little too peaceful for the purposes of this, so let's do something like this. You hear this...

It hits the pyre and immediately from the base up, the fire seems to go out, extinguishing, extinguishing, extinguishing until the entire thing, hearing the hissing of steam, you see the tremendous force of this unbelievable blast of cold that emanates from the mouth of this dragon. It's enough to extinguish all of the fire.

torches all around you. And you can see through the, and out towards the rest of the city, this was clearly a signal to extinguish any fire in the entire valley of this city. All of the fires start to go out, windows darken. It gets darker and darker and darker, and the only light is that dim moonlight through the surface of the clouds that are overcast above you.

She screams, "It is time to let the cold in again." And then, as you are all plunged into darkness, you hear this, you see this faint blue glow within this, like, icy cocoon structure that this pyre now makes this tall shape that begins to emerge. And

You see limbs. Within the wood, you see arms. You see a torso. You see a massive head. A creature stands somehow, impossibly, within the center of this assembly. Around you, you feel the crowd all in a hush as they observe the same thing, looking up and

it starts to crack and break. You see pieces of ice start to fall down in chunks, landing loudly and cracking against the granite floor, spraying out in all directions. And the light gets brighter and brighter and brighter.

Husband, can you hear me? And it cracks and breaks. Huge blocks begin to shatter off in all directions, revealing the silhouette of a massive giant. A misformed face. Huge muscles, muscles upon muscles upon muscles, twisted and scarred. His arms latched behind him and looking down. My children!

My spirit now stands before you. Together we are united to build a world where the weak are culled and only the strong prevail. Let this vision serve as promise and prophecy.

They're backing up now, the crowd is starting to push back, and you realize that in order to sustain this, the sound of the wooly rhinos is getting louder and louder. They're bucking against the walls, almost reaching a stampede fever to escape before falling lifeless down and behind all, one after the other after the other begins to fall in all directions. - To you!

You and he looks down with these glowing piercing blue eyes and he turns and twists and looks at each one of you thee ice bound castaways Know this my blessing is now upon you Just as the chill wind carves the mountains and relentless ice shapes the land let the frost that binds you shape your strength and

a strength that will grow like the glaciers, unstoppable and all-consuming. Like me, you too will know the burden of responsibility, of power, of sacrifice. Remember these words and feel my wrath! He shouts out, and you feel this almost like steel wire twist around your insides as you realize that the boons that have been granted you remain, but that the

Opposite is also true, and you begin to diminish in other ways. Whatever your top 20 modifier is, is now an 18. Brutal. Okay.

And you, my princess, my chosen, my Sigdis. Together we will build a world of endless winter, a dominion where our might reigns supreme. It cannot be so while I remain shackled. How much longer until you break my chains and return me to the world of mortals?

it pleases me to declare that you your return is less than a moon cycle away we continued to collect the gold that would buy your freedom but chance has presented an alternative path i have retrieved a powerful artifact that may be enough to destroy your bonds my husband then do it onward then onward to conquest to dominion to an empire where the warmth of the sun is but a distant memory

Rise all! Claim this world as your own in the name of Khoska-chi, Prince of Wrath! And the creature stumbles forward and breaks free, no longer sustained by the dying woolly rhinos who have all completely extinguished around you. The giant man, it pulls free and you seem to think he's shattering his bond for a moment and that he's going to reach the crowd when his form turns itself to ice and

massive blocks land and crash and shatter across the granite floor. No longer alive. Quiet around everyone until a Frosthammer Clan Kobold jumps forward. Vulcan Malachan! And that is where we will call tonight's session. Holy shit, dude. Holy smokes. Holy smokes.

That shit was crazy. Clarifying question, if you have two level 20 stats, both of them to 18? No, it would be whatever your primary rank is. So dex. Strength for me. Wisdom for me.

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