Once Upon a Witchlight | Ep. 60 | Queen's Gambit
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Hello everyone! Welcome to Legends of Avantris. I'm Gricko Grimgrin and you're listening to Once Upon a Witch Life. Here's what happened last time. The goats don't seem to register Omnipore. They are looking between all five of you.

I mean, maybe we just walk past them. I mean, they're just ghosts. Yeah, just a couple of ghosts. I mean, it's weird that they have the whole, like, you know, weird hourglass pupils. But don't ghosts have weird pupils anyway? Like, maybe this is a weird coincidence. Dora's getting a bad vibe. When the moon obstructs the sun, Creeping Lynn will come undone.

and then she bows in front of you and steps to the side. - Holy crap, God, Frost is right! - Oh, now you're just playing a prank. I'm not gonna turn and look, 'cause you're gonna fucking laugh at me. - No, no, no, no! - No, Jeremy, it really is, he really is been scooped up by an eagle. - You're not going, are you in on this? - No, man, no.

the craziest thing. No, look over there, man. He's got a crazy big golden eagle. He's all scooped up. I mean, I don't know what happens next, but... Well, I'll be fucked. There he is. Ah! Ah! You can hear him having fun, man. He's having a great time. Oh, but it looks like they're playing a game of...

What is this, a game of Crown? And he walks over to it and begins to look. Not very good at Crown. I wonder who's winning. Oh, look, he picks up one of the pieces. They're carved to look like little cords. And you do see that all of these essentially chess pieces are carved to look like cords. Welcome to Lockberry Henge. It's nice to meet you. You find yourselves atop the plateau.

in the circle of standing stones was here that you noticed that the there had been activity recently the fire had been stamped out there were ashen footprints leaving leading to two of these um giant megaliths and even though that is something that you had noticed frost and um

and your, why can't I remember his name? - Omdipore. - Omdipore, thank you. Frost and your companion Omdipore were drawn to the game at the center of these standing stones. And it was here that your intelligence and your wit came into play, Frost, as you were able to look down at this game and see that there was a single winning move that could easily be played, quickly moving the piece into play.

You hear rumbling behind you as two of the stones begin to change and you see these small creatures step out from them. Their flesh looks almost stone-like in nature. They have manes of hair and big furry beards. Their legs taper down into cloven hooves.

as they begin to rush towards you, both of them looking quite happy, though one of them more so than the other, as she begins to shout out how excited she is that she won. I knew I was going to get you. I just knew it. I had one more move, and you lost. I told you you were going to lose. Who's the queen? The rightful queen. That's me. And then she looks out towards all of you, and she rears back a little bit.

What are you doing? Who are you? Uh, hello. Did one of you touch our game? I was the one who took the winning move. That was a great position that you put yourself in. It was, I'm telling you. It was a position I got myself into. And you finished the game for me. Which means I owe you a trinket.

of my appreciation. Just one moment here, let me look. This one's a little too small. This one's medium in size. This one, this one will do. She picks up a large stone off of the ground and she begins to move it around in her hands and you see that it begins to shift and it begins to change as where there had been this large rock, there is now this beautiful gleaming star sapphire. I think this will do.

Whoa. What is your name? Oh, Argantel. It's nice to meet you. Argantel? This is most generous, thank you. We've been playing that game for far too long, and I don't want to say it was getting boring, but not quite as fun as a lot of the dancing and celebrations we used to have atop this hill. So...

It's nice to be done with it, and it means we can move on to other things, so thank you for the win, my friend. Oh, your name was? Oh, yes, my name is Morning Frost. It's nice to meet you. These are my companions. It's nice to meet you. Nice to meet all of you. Welcome to Lockberry Hinge. Morning. Oh, thank you for your very warm welcome. Before you say anything, you're not with the despicable Briganox, are you?

But all those guys suck! Yes, yes, yes. We've been told that they suck very much. You can see that she completely deflates as you say this. We haven't even met them, I don't think. No, we definitely haven't met them. No, no, not at all. You definitely don't want to. They're horrible creatures. We hate brigandauts. As do we.

We're gonna be saying, when we hear about briganauts, we say brigano, thank you. We've never met a briganaut we like. Yes, yes, we, we. Or ever before. Roll a persuasion check at advantage. Advantage, you say? Advantage, I say. But, I mean, probably that's something...

and Derek, you frost. You're looking down at this star sapphire and it is the most beautifully crafted gem that you've ever seen. It is pristine. You imagine that it clocks in at about a thousand gold pieces in value, but there is a magical essence to it. What had been just a mundane stone is now infused with magical property and you feel

Luckier, holding it in your hands. It functions as a stone of good luck and it does not require attunement. Oh, snap. I'm overwhelmed. So, it's your turn. I will delete Trinket Star Sapphire from my inventory and I will add Star Sapphire of good luck. Now Frost is almost as lucky as Dormag. What brings you to Lockberry Henge? I rolled a three, by the way.

Thank you. That's all you got, dude. I got a blood zero, man. I thought I was channeling a you thing. You could take a curse and roll again. No, no, no, I'll keep it there. Briganox, while we're traveling knots, which stands for nautical miles across our galleon, would throw them into the brig.

We don't like them very much. Now's a stretch. Well, for what it's worth, we don't like them very much either. Come to the center of the stones. We'll sit down and we'll have a chat. Okay. You're welcome here at Lockberry Henge. Thanks. Thank you. What lovely stones you have. Thank you.

Is there anything else besides these standing stones? No, just these standing stones. Wow. In the game? Well, there's a small fire in the middle. She lights it and it starts to warm up the space. But aside from that, you don't see-- there are no homesteads. There's nothing else of interest. It's just the game of crowns that she was playing with her companion and the stones. How long were you playing your game for? Well, let me see.

How long has... I don't know. Time, it starts to fade here a little bit. We haven't had a celebration, we haven't had dancing since she looks towards Motherhorn, since she made her way here. That seems like a long time. You've been playing this game since before she ended up in Matterhorn? Well, not this individual game. We've played many of them before. We cycle through. Sometimes I'm playing against him and sometimes it's someone else. What...

Whatever kind of games do you like to play? We like games. Or is most of this crap? We like to dance. Okay. We like to dance, too. We like to sing. But like I said, we haven't done that since she moved in. Did she make singing and dancing illegal? No, but we like to keep ourselves hidden now, because if it's not the Briganox causing a bunch of disruption with their minds, then... Their minds? We... They're constantly mining.

It's the sound of their hammers and their chisels and they're just going away at all hours of the night. Society has outlawed dancing. We need to have your friend Kevin Bacon come out and teach her a lesson. Kevin Bacon has got to show up and go to up there and let her know that that's just not okay. I think we turned him into Andui. How do you know about Kevin Bacon?

What do you mean? He's the one who talks about how Kevin Bacon is asleep all the time. He's like, "I owe it to Kevin Bacon." You're so full of leaps. All right, Kevin, you can come out. Can you imagine? Kevin Bacon, please join the table. Oh my god. Okay, so wait a minute. These Brigandoks, not only did we think they were nasty, they're also working for Bitter End?

They are. You see, they're inventors. They create things and they have a master architect that they have working for Bitter End, making her all sorts of contraptions for a terrible theater. Oh, that's pretty cool. No, it's nerd shit. No, it's not nerd shit. That sucks. No, that... That fucking sucks. Oh, right, I hate engineering. We hate old brigandocks. I hate making cool stuff out of machines. It fucking sucks. No, dang it. Dang it, those brigandocks. What's a nerd? Nerd.

Oh, um... Have you met me lad Frosty? Yes I have. He's 20 years old and I'm like, "Oh, I never do." Just meet you.

He did. He won the game for me, actually. That's exactly right. Oh, then we love nerds. Oh, shit! Well, so they're not nerds. They are nasty, nasty brigandots. We don't like them very much. They're more like geeks. What's a geek? Well, it's kind of like just a different side of that. They don't say, like, I'll just mate you. So, a geek actually has...

Carnival origins. Yeah, we don't talk about all geeks. Definitely not some guy we pull off the street, get him addicted to opium, and then have him bite heads off of chickens while we charge folks dimes. Definitely not that. I wouldn't know a thing about that. Mr. Crampy, that is oddly specific. That sounds horrible. Who would do something like that? Not me. No, no way. What's opium?

Um, okay, Torbjorn will take this. Wait a minute. Are you telling me that chicken head biting Dennis didn't always bite the heads of chickens?

When he showed up to the carnival? No. That means somebody just naturally does that? Hey, we don't talk about Dennis. Torbeck would have done it for free. Torbeck didn't know there was opium involved. No, no, that's too expensive for you, Torbeck. What? You would have done anything for free. No, but I mean, this guy, look, the thing is, all you have to do is say, hey, I'm the chicken head-bottom Dennis. You bop the heads off a few chickens, I'll give you some more dope.

I thought he was just an eccentric character. Just a quirky guy. Hold on. Hold on. What did this Dennis guy do to get free food and free drugs? Torbeck can't even get any of those things. He was one of my top earners. You ever one of my top earners? Damn it. You have to be made

I had to do it and give him some imagine how many more people would have wanted to watch Torbeck eat all those chickens well you know what

I told you about this. If we ever make it back to the material plane and we, you know, spin the carnival back up, you can be the geek this time. First, I find out about the cave with the moss and the lizards, and now there's chicken head biting Dennis and Torbjorn didn't know about the free drugs. You guys are holding down on Torbjorn! Did you say you wanted to go back to the material plane? Well, eventually. Eventually. No, not right now. I could help you with that if you want. Oh, how can you help us with that?

Well, you see, there's a fairy prince here from the court of the spring. And he's kind of stuck. He had a bum deal with... What's her face? Bitter End. Awful. Awful woman she is. He promised her a year of his life, and then she'd let him go home. He gave up the year.

And he's allowed to go home, he's just... he can't quite do it. He's got like eight fey beacons, and then he can make his way home. She'll show him the way. But every time he lights one of them, a periton blows out the beacon, and he can't get all eight of them lit. So if you could help him with that, you could follow him home. We just gotta kill the fucking periton, is what you're saying.

That's a lot of parrots. Prince of the spring, Corey, you say? Not summer? From what I've heard, he's from... A parroton wouldn't hurt a fly! He's not the prince, he's a prince. What? What the fuck's a parroton? A parroton? All their harmless creatures...

These ones aren't necessarily completely harmless. They used to be mummers that used to perform up at Motherhorn. They've been turned into peritons, and now they're just a bunch of thespians. Yeah, and they crave humanoid hearts to eat and devour. But that's, you know, I mean, we all have our own unique tastes and munchies. Yeah. Remember, my character's all about loving monsters. I'm trying to weave that back

back into my character. Oh yeah, I did remember. I'm trying to bring back my little visual characterization a little bit again. Good job. Do I know about parrots? Yeah. Oh, parrots, they're quite charming. So it's a monster? Well, yes. It's got like, it's got a big bird, but you've got like, well, it depends on like how much bird and how much stag there is. But it's got big old talons and it is, and honestly, I mean...

They are. To those uninitiated, and when you see the shadow, you see the shadow of a human or something. Wait, how is Granny flying? What? And then it turns out, oh no, it's the shadow of their last victim. At least the paratons are no. Crazy Feywild paratons, they might be different. They changed their shadow. Oh, that sounds about right. Oh, this place is all about shadows. Wait, so they're consuming shadows of people they kill or something? There's a running theme. Oh, no. There's a running theme about shadows. Yeah.

You all have your shadows, right? Yep. Yeah. No, he's right over there. Yep, there he is. She double checks, but you all clearly have your shadows. If we were all paratons, our shadows would be fat hog. Can you imagine changing your own shadow to someone else's shadow? Whose heart that you ate? I don't know. Hearts are a little tough.

Do you imagine flying? Yes. Yeah, I can imagine. Oh, I flew in with me old mate. Dormex flown before. I was one of that superpower. Oh, man, what was he? I think back to the eagle's name that I made very good friends with. Pete. Pete. Is that his name? Pete. I think so. I mean, do you still possess him? I made it up on the spot. Me good mate.

Oh, we just flew together like just an hour ago. Paul. It was Paul. Paul. Yeah, because it was better call Paul. That was right. You know, I remember Paul. Paul Peegle. Paul, he gave me a ride through the mountains. Paul Peegle. He gave me a taxi ride, not to you guys. Thank you. Whether or not he was driven by the will of a real lewatar, who's to say? But he gave me a ride and he landed and he said, oh.

You were probably thinking of his brother Pete, or Peter, and his sister Mary. Why don't we just use him to solve this whole fucking Feywild thing?

They're not taxi services, Joll and Eagles. They're technically Celestial in the 2024 ruleset. Chosen of and driven by a real Louvatar. Is that fucking true? I think so. I think they're Celestials. I thought all the hand punching was getting to them. I don't know what that word keeps saying. They're not based a burden. So, if we was to help the Spring Prince...

with a little parenting problem. And I don't think we need to kill this thing. I think it's misunderstood. Would he be able to do us a little bit of a solid then? I'm not sure he'd be able to do you a bit of solid, but from what I know about the situation, it will illuminate a way to... I don't want to say it because there's a palace named after it, but the place of your heart's desire. So for him, he wants to return home. So if...

You like the Fey Beacons and you want to return to somewhere special. You should be able to, it will illuminate the path directly to that place and you should be able to make your way there. Also, it sounded like you said there was more than one Barrington. There are about eight of them in total as far as I'm aware. Oh, sweet Jesus. I think it's one for each one of the beacons. Oh my God. Eight Barrington. No wonder this guy's struggling. Brickle, you can't charm eight Barringtons, man.

That's just wild talk, okay? Why not? Because they're all over the place. What if they line up in a line and we take them on an alley? You think we're going to take them on an alley in a charming way? No. Yeah. Everyone knows that Peritons love fashionable headwear. Really? We get them a couple, we just find eight fedoras. Oh, okay. And then we hand them out and they become secret agencies. Could we maybe make it nine? Torbeck would like a fedora.

Maybe. Maybe. Depends on how expensive they are. Torbek will take it. Maybe he's good. Okay. I like this plan. I guess we have to kill him as a backup. Hold on, hold on. You want to kill the spring prince? No, no, no, no, no, no. Could we go somewhere else in case we're not ready to go back to the material plane? Like the Palace of House Design.

I imagine it could take you there if you wanted to go, but I would advise against it. I'm not sure if you're aware, but there's a Jabberwock card in the place. Oh, fuck! Oh, man! Right, that whole thing. Well, wait a second. Once we resolve the ton of parrots, how many times can we use this thing? Like, just indefinitely? Like, are we good to just go all over the place? Well, I'm not intimately familiar with it, but I would imagine that every time you light the Fey Beacons, you'd be able to head to wherever it is that your heart desires that you go.

I would caution against attempting to use it on multiple occasions because the moment that that one over there realizes it's been used I'm nodding up to Motherhorn, and you couldn't see where I was nodding, I feel. Angelin Moongrave. That one. If you... The moment she knows you've used it, she's gonna guard it again. I'm quite surprised she hasn't destroyed the beacons, but I guess it's keeping her in the game with the prince, so she's got to use for it now, but...

Once he's gone, there's nothing stopping her from breaking him. Do you know the prince's name? I don't off the top of my head, no. Never met him myself. He probably is a very sad character on account of he's in a Sisyphean world where the closer he gets to his goal, the further away he is from getting home. One can only imagine that that might be a kind of joy, though. Always striving and struggling to achieve the next thing and always having a goal. I feel...

perhaps the opposite, I feel like I fundamentally disagree with everything you just said. I feel like it would be every moment, every day that goes by you wish for death, death that never comes for an immortal being. I mean, after I, you know, drank the milk of paradise pulling through from last episode,

I knew what it was like to be a mad immortal man. Never more shall I return, escape these caves of ice, for I have died on honeydew and drank the milk of paradise. It'll drive you mad. He might be as wackadoodle as a loon. Listening to you speak. Who said that one has to imagine the Sisyphus is happy. Listening to you speak is quite lovely. I like the way you speak the words. I'm not sure what you're saying. It's very nice. I don't know what it really is.

Oh, no one ever... So, see, when people self... Actually, no one listens to me. I'm kind of being very short. Everyone's like, oh... I'm also very short, so I understand what you mean. See? See? And if people would sit down and listen to what I say, they would say, wow, it's quite enchantment for you. It's just because you say things like he's got a sassafrasian kind of complex. Yeah. You couldn't have said whack-a-molean? And you just keep saying Herodotus over and over again. It doesn't mean anything. Gesundheit. Oh.

Thank you. Well, I mean, you pronounce things weird, kind of like she does. You know, they're playing the game of crayons and they pronounce it crowns. God. That's very funny. We're playing crowns? We are playing crowns. Yes, we were playing crowns. You're welcome to play a game if you'd like. How long does a game normally take? Depends on how smart you are. So fast or slow if you're smarter?

Depends on how smart your opponent is. That's fair, that's fair. Could we maybe wager another one of them sapphire things? Oh, a Noss wager! For a game of crowns, of course. Yeah, Noss versus your best crowns player. Well, that's me, of course. I didn't say anything like that. That would be a fine wager, but what would we wager on our side?

Oh, I probably have some cheap crap in my bag. What would be worth, us being five stalwart heroes from the realm beyond Prismia, what would be worth one of your lovely gemstones? Have you ever had licorice? I've never had licorice, no. Done! We're gonna wager some licorice!

Deal? I'll give it a try. Perfect. You're going to love it. Is it something to eat or something? Oh, all right. It's a delectable treat. From a certain point of view. From a certain point of view. It's come from the material plane. All right. Well, let's be... I'll go ahead and take... It's going to take me about five minutes to get this set up. But...

I'll get it set up and then... I was worried it was gonna be like Axis and Allies. For the next eight hours. Oh, it is. It is. This is a game of Crowns, Marco. This is gonna take a long time. There's gonna be much thought between moves while we think about the tree branches of possibilities. We've got all the time in the world, so yeah, take your time. No, we don't. We have quite a bit of urgency. Oh, fuck! We only have three days! No! Underpool!

Do we feel like we could take a little bit of respite here on the... Oh, fuck, he's still here! Well, it's not him that knows, man! What do you mean, well, fuck, he's still here? I've been here the entire time. You just snuck up on Torbeck. I've been standing there for an hour. You're as stealthy as Torbeck is. Well, I am quite stealthy, this is true.

I mean, is that what Torbek does to people? Torbek is so sorry, guys. Torbek will start wearing like a bell or something. Yeah, it would help. That would help. I cannot speak for how much time you have, but I have quite a bit of time on my own. All the time in the world. Okay. Except that I need to find Gleam. We're going to find Gleam. Yes, we need to find Gleam. So as soon as we... I feel like we could find Gleam better if we allied with these lovely folk.

Well, it looks like you've already agreed to a game of crowns. There we go! Let's play one game! We must play the game! We're playing one game, but I have a question, Amnipore. When we first met, you told us about a prince, I believe of the Summer Court. Am I misremembering? That's what I heard, that he was of the Summer Court. And the name was Lerim, correct?

Yes. And this is not the same race? The story sounds very, very similar. It's almost identical. It is. They both possess the very same secrets. I did not say anything about peritons in my story. No, no, no. Peritons are new. But I did mention the beacons. A lot of beacons in the world. Mm-hmm.

There's two sets of beacons. No, I believe there's only one. Yeah, I mean, how many fucking princes? Lerum, Summer, okay. One king can make a whole bunch of fucking princes. Do you think the Paratons have anything to do with the Deep Crows?

Wait. I think Gideon's right. The truly ancient deep growth? The truly ancient deep growth. No. Gringo's been talking about truly ancient deep growth the whole time, and now suddenly we've got to fight giant birds with like ants? Peritoneal biology is not at all related to corvids. They're raptors. What? It's hawks and deer. Oh, man. It's hawks and deer. It's the classic, evoking the folklore of hunting creatures like hawks and stags.

That doesn't sound right. The king stag. Oh, yeah, he really was all about monsters. You know, we're only on episode 60. We don't even fucking think about his backstory. Yeah.

Well, that's why he's gonna play Game of Crows and then we're gonna just forget about all the things he said. I started to tell you and I was punished horribly. Regardless what Graco says, Torbeck believes Gideon. Torbeck thinks that Gideon's always something. Hey, I'm just wondering, man. I mean, there's a lot of talk of truly ancient deep crows and then here we show up and suddenly it's a ton of parrots. What do you mean? It's not a lion at all. There's this...

There's nothing from the truly ancient depots here. Why would they emerge from the truly ancient tunnels deep beneath the earth? You tell us! Where ancient things have burrowed, nameless things have burrowed. They rise forth with their great four wings and six eyes and jagged mandible beaks. Why wouldn't they?

That's a good point. Now, don't make fun of the Dawkins of Zanz. So we think the true age of Deep Groves are with the Brigamonts. We've got to save for the Figanozzos. Hold on. Hold on.

First of all, fuck those guys. They suck. She nods and she's continuing to set up the crowd. I'm vibing. I feel like I'm vibing. I would say you don't even need to roll to notice. You are vibing.

Kreek goes over by the Stonehenge putting out the vibes. I don't say this. I haven't had this kind of connection since Bloody Toast. I'm wondering how I can turn this into a Kreek describes against humanity. Just wait. Just wait. Those guys fucking suck.

And so they are a bunch of nerds who don't have time for games and dancing and fun. We are about games, dancing, singing, fun. We did a whole song and dance number in drag. People cheered. They loved it. Garrett was there. I've never met Garrett. Gavin was there. I've never met Gavin. But when we're done with this Game of Crowns, if you'd like to dance, we haven't danced upon...

The Henge in a long time. We would love to dance upon the Henge, neath the moonlight. Or sunlight. Wait, so to better end... Or the clouds. Storm clouds. Outlaw dancing? Or did she outlaw dance? No, she didn't outlaw it. Oh, does he try to stop us? We can dance any time we want to, but... Why don't we just... Can we leave our friends behind? ...sit on the edge of the dance party? I wouldn't recommend it. No, no. All right. Well, I'll sit back. I was just wondering. No, I mean... I'm happy to sit back and watch the dance. I just don't want you to feel pressured, you know, to...

Get out there and you know not necessarily have the ability you know you know I think you're compelled to be there's a time I thought you thought I had moves and I'm thinking you think I'm a bad dancer and that cuts deeper than any no dancing is all Gideon knows he can bust a move I can bust a move he can bust a move just as good as he can bust a nut

Oh, man, I do that pretty well. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. Oh, yeah, from a certain point of view. You know those demons that's always busting nuts. Oh, left and right. Too much pressure, it just builds up. It just builds up. And then that busts right off, yeah. And then the whistle hits and the nuts start flying. Pressure release. That's why every time Gideon meets ladies in a new town, they're always saying, chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga. Ha, ha, ha.

I feel like we've strayed from the... Too much. That's exactly right. Does that even technically qualify then? Anyway. No, if you remember, remember that time that we all lost something? Hey, boomers, remember that one time? No. See how my eyes are gray? Do we get that stuff back?

No? No, I see the color of my eyes were taken. Oh, I just always thought you had stormy gray eyes. I must have forgotten that. It's very striking. It's very striking. Are you telling me I'm magically cursed to not be able to dance well? Yeah, that's why I'm bringing this up now. I'm just saying, if you can get out there and bust a move, as long as you're not self-conscious, that's fine. I just wanted to offer you some kind of comfort.

I won't take you to the dance floor. You can. I can't, Frosty. Well, you can go out there. It's just that you'll look clumsy and ungrateful. You shouldn't be ashamed if you can't dance. It's not about how well you do it. It's about the amount of heart you put into it. It's a private conversation, okay? Well, you're having it right next to me. No, you haven't seen him. No, no, you wouldn't be saying that. He kicks his legs out and he does this.

That's perfectly fine. Well, that's awful. Once a lion's known the wild, when it ends up in captivity, there's just nothing there. And if I can't dance...

Like I could dance before. Mm-hmm. Then it's just, it's all gone. You're starting to sound like Graco. You're just saying stuff. Quit rubbing that ball for me. I don't know if this will help you, but it sounds like you lost your ability to dance before, but if you learn to dance now, that's a new ability. They can't take that away from you. You just gotta practice.

That might be the wisest thing Torbeck has ever heard in Torbeck's life. You're saying I could relearn to dance as well as I danced before. I mean, maybe even better. Does that way? Hold on. Hold on. Is that somehow counteract this kind of fake curse bargain thing?

I mean, it depends on how the curse worked, but if they took your ability to dance, then you don't have it anymore. But if you gain a new one, they've already taken what they needed to take, and this is a completely new entity. Grummy can learn how to not have gray eyes? Probably not. Oh, well. You could have someone put new color into your eyes.

That sounds dangerous. Gideon, the question is, can you learn? And it's worth trying. It may be that they've stolen your rhythm forever, and if that's the case, then it's a tragedy. But if you try and you learn, as... says...

Bless you. Then... Argon... Argon-ty. Argontal. Argontal. As Argontal says, and I'm writing it down this time. Then perhaps you'll have overcome this minor setback. I'm happy to give it a try, but I gotta say, if I struggle a whole lot, I'm gonna punch Greco.

I'm just going to be really frustrated. I'm going to be really frustrated. I'm just going to play it out. It seems like very reasonable terms. If you like, I'm assuming it's not a dance that you knew because have you met a choreographer before?

No. Is that what you are? That's what I am, yes. Well, just now, yeah. But you had never met one before today. Oh, not beforehand. Well then, once I've bested your friend in a game of crowns, I can teach you the special chord dance, one that you didn't know before, so it's not one they can take from you.

And then you'll have an all new dance, all your own. Well, okay, I'll give it a try. But if I struggle, I'm hitting Gricko. You set yourself up for a big letdown, kid. I'm just saying, like, is this worth it? You know, I think we can have a pleasant conversation on the side of the fire. You know, we can have some drinks. We can talk about why you never told me you still talk to Kevin. What do you mean?

That sounds like a conversation I don't want to have. I'm going to go do the dancing. That sounds kind of a struggle. I always thought that Kevin was a really strong guy. He was always hanging around. I don't know why he always got so frustrated when he was coming around in a circus. He was always hanging out at the strongman exhibit. He was like, ooh. I know. Torbeck is sensing trouble in paradise. He was always wearing those white t-shirts and that hat. And somehow he never paid. He smelled like clean laundry. No, he never paid.

like there's a little bit of trouble. I feel like this is important. I don't know why there's trouble. Why is it stormy? I feel like Kevin was really strong. I'm just getting to mine. And twice at the carnival, I remember hearing him in the distance go, yeah!

Like that. Was that a Tremors reference? Actually, it was both a Tremors reference and an Apollo 13 reference. That's in both of those films. Oh, God, Derek. You know, I always liked The Invisible Man. We didn't talk about that. No, that was good. That takes a certain spin in that one. No, but look, you know what they say, you know, sadder still to watch it die than to have never known it.

You know, so I feel like for you to try and you've known what it feels like to be such a good dancer, you know what I mean? I'm just saying. You can try, but... No, you convinced me. I'm gonna level with you. You had me at whiskey. So... It's okay. I'm going to dance once I've

finish defeating Argintal in the crowning competition. That's what you think. That is what I think. I'm going to wipe the floor with your ass. And if you do, it'll be my second game and it'll be a learning opportunity. Oh, don't pretend like you've only played one game. I'm no fool. Oh. Uh, Frosty, you've never played Crown of the Fall. All right, Frost, listen up. Okay. Okay.

What was that? I'm hyping you up. I'm saying, listen up. Okay, Torben's going to tell you something. The way you said it just threw Torben back off a little bit. I'm trying to help intimidate everyone and have them listen to you. It came out like, okay, as opposed to when you say, okay. No, no, it's an aggressive okay. And we're standing right here. Okay, listen up.

Torbjorn's going to say something. Everyone was already listening, I think. Torbjorn, say something. You really got to pick up on yourself. Torbjorn, you're really taking a lot of time here, man. I mean, did he get to it? Torbjorn, hey.

Just remember what he said. What Torbjörn said.

Torbek says, "Torbek got a fortune in a fortune cookie once." Yeah. "Best advice Torbek ever got," said, "Give it up, you loser." That's it. I'll remember that. That's right! Go! Give it up, you loser, Frosty! Give it up, loser! Give it up, you loser. Nicely done, Torbek. Also, Griggo, I don't think you should ever say okay like that ever again. That was weird.

Everybody else heard that, right? Yeah, it was a little bit. I don't really know what you're talking about. Do it again. Okay! Okay!

No, that wasn't it. All right. That's closer. Maybe this is part of you going back to old Gricko, but you went too far back, like 2017 Gricko. Don't do that. Don't do that. Torbek knows he can't see it, but Torbek's got goosebumps. I'm a terrible crossbow shot. Okay. Okay. Okay. I was trying to help up my old mate Torbek. Yes. He's solidarily amongst goblinoids.

And have everyone listen to his lovely wisdom in advance. Torbeck, thank you for the advice. I appreciate your fortune advice. I once got a fortune that said your request for MSG has been denied. And that won't help me right now. Okay. I see. I once got one that said, help, help, I'm

I'm trapped in a cookie cookie factory. Any response? That sounds like somebody legitimately asking for help. How do you respond to that? I put a message in an egg roll and I threw it back in the sea. In the sea? Yeah, like a... That's pretty sick. That's probably the last person that that person has. No, I'm saying...

She starts to dance. Message in a... Okay, are you sufficiently hyped up, Frosty? How are you feeling? Are you feeling inspired? I feel good, I guess. Especially with this star sapphire on me, I feel especially wise. I probably shouldn't interfere in this game of crayon, should I? No. All right, are you ready? Yes. I've thought about it. All right. I will sit down on the opposing side against... You don't have to tell me you're going to do that. You can just go ahead and take a seat.

I'm telling the podcast audience. What's a podcast? They need to know. Angela, please don't do this to me. That's awful. I'm crying. I'm crying. All right, well, we have to decide who gets to go first. Okay, how do we decide that? Well, we're both going to roll one of these really shiny rocks I found on the ground. It's got 20 different sides on it, and you tell me what side yours lands on. All right. Yeah, mine's cocked.

What do I add? Is it just wrong? Okay, the first one was a seven, and then because I was joking, it became a 16. So you get to decide. I get a 19. Okay, so it doesn't matter. Holy shit. Which means I get to go first. That makes sense. It's the higher value. It is, yes. I'm going to roll again and add my intelligence. Okay. I'm following along so far. All right, you get to go.

I rolled a nine on this stone. This is probably an ability check. I believe that, oh, is it? It is, yes. And you just got a luck stone, so don't forget you add plus one. And I'm gonna add my intelligence score? That's correct. Okay, so that means that I have a 15. She looks at you and she smiles as she quickly maneuvers around and she makes it further along. You look at this move and you're like, oh, she's good. She has played for years. That is a fantastic flanking maneuver you've made.

All right, it's your turn. You know what you should call the flaking there? Well, if I go here, then you'll probably... Yes, I definitely would. See, Frosty, no, you gotta... Oh, sorry, sorry. You know what Tormek would do? He'd start eating the pieces. She'll never see that coming. They're made out of stone. You think you could handle that, Tormek? That certainly never stopped Tormek. You like a good piece of stone, then? Yeah! All right, give me one second, and she...

She prances away from the game, and she's almost like skipping. And she makes her way over towards one of the stones, one of the megaliths. And she's looking through them, and she begins to carve off a piece. And she brings it over to you, and it is this beautiful...

darkened, almost porous stone. I think you'll like the taste of this one. Wow, thank you. And for the record, Mr. Crammy, Torbek prefers lead, but they don't put that in pencils anymore because it's apparently dangerous. Oh! You do. Governmental regulations are doing everything. It tastes delicious. You imagine that the next time you have a roll, you'll be able to roll at advantage. Yes!

I enjoy my rock snack while this game is happening. I rolled a 15, and I will... Okay, buy the Dispel Witchlight dice, because I just got a natural 20. Oh my gosh. I've gotten two 19s and a natural 20. That's been my rolls on this. Buy them. Frost will chuckle to himself and go, hmm, give it up, you loser. Boo!

And he'll take an intentionally bad move as a gambit to try and throw the game into a branch that is unplayed. Roll a deception check for me. Need some help, Ross? Just say the word. That's going to be a 19. She's watching what you're doing, and she sees you make this move, and you can see for just a second this look of confusion flit across her face, where she...

She's been watching you play and you've been doing really well. Not as well as she is, but better than she expected. And she sees this move and it throws her off a little bit. And she goes to make her next move. And...

She sees what you've done, and it's almost as if her cockiness gets the best of her, where she looks at that move and she thinks, oh, he's not as good as he thinks he is. And she makes a move that might not be ideal. And as you look down at the board, you see her mistake. Ugh.

I know, now's the time. I've got the spotlight, I'm feeling good. That was the correct choice. Say the word, Frost, this is your choice. I am gonna push my curse luck and then we'll see.

If I start to fail, then Kremi has my permission to jump in. Chat just said the beans gambit. The beans gambit, yeah. That's really cute. I get a 26. Yeah, you see her blunder in the game, and you are able to use it to your advantage. And you...

and you make a very clean move, you imagine that if she continues to stumble, this game is in the bag. What did you get? - I got a eight of swords. - Swords, you say? - Yes, upright, upright, upright. - Upright swords. - The art is just so fucking good, I'm sorry. - Very good. - That's what the curseborns are.

- Hide you a sword. - You feel like you have not eaten for an entire winter season. Your hunger cannot be sated and you'd eat practically anything. - Yes! No fucking way! Eat the pieces, Frost. Eat the pieces!

With that move, as soon as I tip over one of her pieces, it goes tumbling down because I've taken it. I immediately snatch it up, and I just sort of pop it into the side of my mouth. I'm not chewing on it just yet, but it's like a... Not a gobstopper, more like a cigar. Like I have a knife hanging out the side of my mouth. It's sort of like... Yes, that was a good piece.

She looks quizzically at you, but you haven't started eating the piece yet. So she's looking between what you're doing with the piece and the game itself. And she seems to be a bit confused. And the next move that she makes, you're clearly getting in her head as she makes a move that did not benefit her in any way.

Oh, I will take my next move. And just before I do, I reach up and I crunch into the piece and I start to mindlessly eat it. I don't even notice that this is happening. She looks horrified. She is not seeing this as hungry frost. She's seeing this as a play of dominance. Almost an act of aggression. Oh, oh, oh.

Yeah, Frost Goat! With a 14. I'm not even thinking about it. I'm eating gravel. You're not even looking as you're moving these pieces around the crown board. As you chomp down on this piece, you move and you knock another one of her pieces off and she is staring at you

frustrated, she's looking between you and the board. She now realizes she's in the danger zone. That if she doesn't make the next move correctly, this game might be lost. Don't mind me. I can't lose. Your pieces are delicious. Yeah! Another one bites the crayon piece! Yeah! Get him! Twist it.

I'm gonna twist again. I got a natural one. Twist it! I switch over to my bean dice because I'm cursed, so I'm in bean town, and I am going to twist it for a second curse. And I get a natural 20. Let's fucking go! Well twisted, well twisted. Yeah, good twists! 26. I'm gonna cut it, and I'm going to... It's not upright. Justice reversed. Reversed. A reversed justice.

Number 11 of the... Damn it. This would have been so great earlier. You're incredibly unlucky. You have disadvantage on every roll. Oh, shit. Well, we can hold on to that for a while. You bite down. You pick up the piece that you had just knocked off the board and you confidently put it in your mouth. You bite down on it and three of your teeth shatter as you bite down onto an incredibly...

piece of stone. Not nearly, as you realize that-- It's okay, Frost, those grow back! You realize that this wasn't actually one of the pieces she was using, this was one of the pieces that you were using. Her pieces are made out of shale, and yours are made out of chalk.

And so as you bite down on the shale, your teeth just can't handle the strength of it. And you break a couple of your teeth and it's incredibly, incredibly painful. As she-- Don't let it stop you! She sees this happen and her confidence is clearly built back up as she goes in for her next move. And she moves

A piece that you would not have expected. And as you look down at the board, you realize that this piece has changed the game. I've grown overconfident. My teeth are broken. I need to make this next move my best. Ow. It really hurts to shatter your teeth on a rock, it turns out. What? You get used to it. Keep going! All right. Frosty, I believe in you! I scan the board, and I look to see if I can find a winning move. Roll a...

An insight check. Oh. At disadvantage. Yep. That's not gonna be good. That's gonna be a five. You look down at this board and it's a mess. But you imagine there's probably a winning move in there. It's just that those chalk pieces look so delicious. Mm-hmm. They just look so delicious. Mm-hmm.

I can barely hold myself together as I reach forward and I pick up a piece that is not mine. I pick up one of the shale pieces and it's an illegal move, but I can't help myself. I grab that shale and I stuff it into my mouth.

You're breaking the rules. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It just looks so delicious. I'll put it back. The game can continue. The game can continue. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Did you even put it down in the right place? Oh, yes. It was right here. It was not right there. Roll a deception check. A disadvantage. Yep. Nine. Nine.

You're lying! It was not right there, it was right here because I was going to... You're not going to trick me. I'm not telling you the move I was going to make. I'm not trying to trick you. I bit down hard on my teeth. Put it back where it was supposed to go. Why are you trying to eat the game pieces? What's wrong with you? I feel very hungry playing this game. It's consuming my mental energy. Trust me!

BANANAS! You're not you when you're hungry! Oh, I mashed some of them. Thank you, thank you, thank you. And see, I'll mash them now so that you can eat them with your shattered teeth. That's very kind of you, Gricko. I feel rejuvenated. It's ten days worth of food in your stomach now. Call the hospital soon. All right, it's your move.

I think we're very close to the end of this game, if I can tell by the board state. Natural 20. 17. I got a natural one. Oh! She is... The bananas are spilling all over the ground. There's blood dripping out of your mouth from where your teeth have shattered. She's looking at the slobbery, bloody shale piece that's now back on the board in its rightful spot, and she is...

She is overwhelmed, and as she's looking down at the board, you see her eyes alight as she realizes it doesn't matter what move she makes because a move that you had made two rounds previously sealed the game for you. And even though you picked up that piece, it didn't mean anything. And as much as she wants to say you have to forfeit the game because you touched that piece, she realizes that even if she did, she didn't win because that move that you made two rounds ago was the winning move. And she looks down,

You won me the game when you made your way up to Lockbury Henge. And you've bested me here fair and square, even if you are a bit of a cheater. But I know when I've been beat...

I was worried when he started eating pieces, but I knew he'd pull it through. You're a valiant opponent, and she reaches out and shakes your hand. Oh, I shake your hand and I'm hurt. But next time you're playing a game with someone, don't try and eat their pieces. That's very unlikely. What are you even doing? That's so strange. Well, I'm affected by the... If you're hungry, just let me know. I'll make you a chicken. I would love some chicken. Thank you. We owe nothing!

You want me to play them again? Play them again! As long as it's double or nothing, you'll double the reward. I don't know if I'm well enough for that. No, he's feeling great. Look at him. Playing these board games in this hinge is affecting my mind. Frost, Torvac is so proud of you. You did it perfectly.

perfectly and you ate the pieces. That's Torbjörn's secret move. Now all you have to do is the next time the apparatus on your back begins to glow and the wish light runs through your veins, your teeth will be as good as new and you can start eating pieces again. Double NFA!

The right side of your face is incredibly swollen. Do you feel like you're not that far, Frosty? I'd be willing to play another game, but perhaps we can resolve it with just one roll instead of 14. You know, either you're smart or you're lucky, but either way, Frost, you're going to crush it. Well, I feel like...

Oh, no. Half of my teeth shattered. I don't feel well enough to play. Is the kind of thing, no offense, that a bitch would say. Back me up here. Back me up here, lads. Now you got to do it because you can't be a bitch. It is kind of a thing that a bitch would say. And you can't be a bitch. I mean, that's just crazy. That's what we're going to say. Give it up, you loser. Let's do this. Yeah! Yeah!

- Eat more pieces! - Are you gonna use these? I go and I collect all of Frost's broken teeth if they're on the ground. - They are. - Fairies love this shit. - She quickly resets the game board, but there are three missing pieces.

And so she moves towards the megaliths and carves off a bit of the shale and the chalk, and she very quickly carves new pieces and puts them on the board. I actually, this has been so fun. I actually have a trinket, a chess piece of a dancing satyr. If you wouldn't mind, I think it would be suitable for that position right there.

If you'd like to use it, of course, I'm not gonna prevent you from using your own paste. Bring his own game set. I mean, come on. And then for the sake of this game, we're just going to-- She's a WYSIWYG to me! We're just gonna roll best of three. Best of three, okay. I raise a paper circles. I scan the board and I-- I have a game at all! And I'm at disadvantage still. You are.

You can always use the twist? That's a nightmare. Use the twist! I could. It's best of three. It's best of three, use the twist! You need it when two!

That's fair. The advantage early on would be... You just roll one more die. You undo your disadvantage. Galaxy brain here, folks. I have a seven. I will make another twist. I will. So just I'll mark down. So you're using one twist for the first one. And then I will do the twist after we determine the winner. Thank you. Toray doesn't remember. I kind of, yeah. Natural 20. That's your roll for the first one?

Yeah, for the first one I get a 26. Okay. Next roll. Yeah, I don't remember what the train was. The next one is going to be a 16. Sorry, 14. You got a 16. Frosty! 14. I want to do that. I want to do that. You got to stop. Let him play. I'm flipping back and forth. If you...

You're keeping that roll? I'm gonna keep that roll. Frost has got one boot and Graves has got the other on a banana peel. Good play! Didn't you twist last time? Don't you have to pull a... We're doing an afterthought. We're just gonna figure out what the game state is. I need a new d20. We're gonna resolve the game. Uh-oh. Yeah, big uh-oh. All right, I'm gonna have to twist the second time. You have to twist the second time. I'm gonna have to twist the second time. God damn it! Okay, there it is, 21.

Well, she might be proficient in this game. I imagine she might be double proficient. You watch as she sets up the game, and then it's completely silent as you and Argantel lock eyes and you lock in. Even though you're not feeling lucky,

You know this game. You have won tournaments in this game. You have watched major images about this game. And you...

You feel confident. - You lose a .03 chance to win with this game. - As she makes a move, you can see where her mind's going, but then she does something that you don't expect. - He's doing it. - It reverses what you expected to happen and you're not really sure how to play it. You feel chaotic, you feel random. You just make a choice and hope that it works and it catches her off guard. But she responds. And this game lasts for 15 minutes.

It's not that long. We're chasing each other around the board. But you are moving and watching everything that you're doing. The two of them seem to hear nothing that's happening outside of this game. And then finally, you make a move. And she looks up at you and she smiles.

You all watch as this smug look appears on her face. She reaches out a hand to you and she says, congratulations. You're damn good at this game, Mornin' Frost. Yay!

She shakes your hand, she claps you on the back, and she said, "You may not be a Khorid, "but you're an honorary member of my clan "after a game like that." Oh, thank you, Archontile. It's a pleasure. And I need you to pull two cards. As she smacks you on the back, you feel your mind rattle.

And this game has taxed you. It's taken all of your mental energy. And you are unable to stem off the flow of fey magics that seems to be swirling around you at this altitude. Yeah, this focus point of the Henge is really affecting me as I get both upright the Hermit and the Knight of Wands. So, you are unlucky. Yep. You are incredibly... I'm hungry. Hungry.

And you feel your personality split in two. A dark and evil version of yourself wrestles for control over your mind. You're turning into Torbeck. Curses for Torbeck. And then what's the other one? Evil cursed other. Knight of Wands. Knight of Wands. In the Knight of Wands. Both of them are upright, I believe. You believe the sky is filled with thousands of vicious and aggressive swarms of birds. Oh!

"I'm incredibly incredibly proud of you. I cannot believe someone who's not Khorid Maid is able to play crowns in such a way and best the queen of the clan."

It's truly impressive. Frosty is a genius! That's all I'm keeping you from hearing! Hey, Frosty! Awesome work! Good man! Hold on, I'm not-- And with that, it looks like I owe you two more gemstones. And so she-- Dozen of them.

She looks around. - Don't look at my mother back, Rose! We're gonna be friends! - Fuck off, Grimmy. - Whoa, whoa! - Well, I'll let you fight about it while I go make your reward. And she runs off and she looks for rocks that she believes will be suitable for your prize. - While we're waiting, can Torbjorn see the first beautiful rock?

Is it the one that I have here in my pack? Yeah. Abso-fucking-lutely not, no. It's beautiful! Torbjorn just wants to see it! We're trying to celebrate, Fjord! I don't like the way you say that, Torbjorn! It's mine and I need it in case I need to trade for food, given the coming deep crow problem. What? I mean, the deep crow-- They're coming back? They're doing what? Oh, they're coming back. I don't know about deep crows. Dude, deep crows are doing what? Truly ancient deep crows are coming back? You look up the sky and it had been gray.

with storm clouds, but it is now black with thousands of truly ancient deep crows as they swarm overhead. - It's only a matter of time before they come down. Can't you see how many of them, the multitudinous? - What are you talking about, man? They're up there? They're coming! - They're in the sky all around us. Look with your eyes. Look with your eyes. Are you not seeing what I'm seeing right now? - Eyes? - I'm looking with my eyes. - Oh my God.

Did Sauron, my aunt, send the deep-grows? The only way, they are the eyes of the enemy. The only way that we can proceed is to go through the home of the deep-grows. We must go through the mines. We have to turn back. With the brigandots in their mind. It's our only hope. All we are doomed.

We must find food. We must find shelter. There's only one way we can do that. Is there no shelter here, your grace? Yes, we need to... Is there no shelter here from the truly ancient deep groves in the eyes of Saruman? You were able to melt into the stone. That's where you live? Yes. Can you teach this trick? No. No.

She's useless to us. We have to move on. She seems hurt. Like, she seems genuinely hurt. Yeah, that sucks. Like, you see her waterline begin to, like, fill with tears. Yeah, get in line.

Goes about continuing to look for them. I'm not quite sure what I did. I thought we had a good game. Can you use your skills to create some sort of protection? I mean, look at all the danger all around us. You mean the lightning above? No, not just the lightning, the deep crows. The deep crows, love it!

I'm surrounded by idiots.

Well, hey! Oh, Frosty! Don't knock on the tool bag! You think his mind's eye is open? Believe it or not, Frost spent most of his life atop Mountain Peak studying and developing his mind powers.

- No. - No, you don't make it at all. - Where'd you get that from, man? I thought he just liked eating breakfast and always had a backpack. - It's because I know about Frost's life. I asked him these things once. - She tugs on your robe and she holds up what looks to be a very pristine ruby and a pristine opal.

and she hands them to you. You can tell they're the same make as before. Each one is roughly about a thousand gold pieces and each one functions as a luck stone. And since they don't require attunement, you now have plus three to everything. Holy crap. She hands them to you. I'll hold on to those. No, thank you. I won the game fair and square. They're my stones. Don't take the ruby, that's different.

It was my idea to do double nothing. You didn't claim it. I was normal support! I deserved a stone! Torbecky! If you made a single move, you'd be able to enjoy the benefits of these three stones. You wouldn't have wanted Torbecky to tell you to eat the pieces, Frost! That's a good point. I ate the pieces because I'm starving. It wasn't because of anything that you said, Torbeck. Why shouldn't we have them, Frost?

Why shouldn't you? Because you didn't play a single game. All you did was suggest. I was the one who used my mind in order to win that game. There's four of us, Frost, and only one of you. What are you trying to say to her, Beck? I'm the boss, Frost. She stands in front of you, Frost. I need my kick up. There might be four of you.

But I've got an entire clan behind me. You touch my friend and you're at war with the Khorids. Your friend? Did you hear the way he talked to you? He just said he didn't even like you one little bit. You didn't say that, did you, Morning Frost? I know you're a little, you're hangry, but... Why would you say that about our lovely queen? We're gonna, we're gonna...

We're protecting her honor, Frosty. I would never say that to you. As someone who has an ally and a clan who can defend me, then certainly. I would never say that. You are a good friend and a great player of the Crown's game. When you were getting the rocks, Frost looked at all of us and said he's never played a worst opponent in his whole life, and he laughed at you, and then he said he hoped to make you cry. Roll a deception check.

And you know that that's not the case. Deception, you say? At a 14? She looks at you, and then she looks at Frost, and she, but we're friends. I know him. And then she looks back at you, and you see her water lines begin to spill over with tears as she believes what you're saying. Okay. I might not have been, it might not have been my best game, and I was,

I was a little surprised to have guests today, but I'm really good at crowns. Your Grace, Your Grace, Your Grace, you did a wonderful job. Frosty's not feeling himself. He's mad with power. Something about mountaintops and truly into deep coves. We're going to go him. He's going to take a little catnip.

- Oh, that's a good idea. - Okay, now, when Reza's gonna have a shot of gin. - I think I need to go. - No, no, no, we gotta have a gin. - She quickly turns and runs into the shale monolith and you watch as she melds with the stone and it's silent for a moment in the circle of stones.

And then you can hear on the wind the sound of sniffling and crying. See what happens, Frost, when you're mean to people? Thank goodness she's finally gone. She'll be able to help us with the deep groves and with our hunger. How could you, Frost? She didn't have a feast for us. She gave us 3,000 gold

Look at this. You're not the only one. Look at this guy. Draco, do you see any fucking deep crows?

Well, no, but if you kind of look at those clouds and make a pretend like that one looks like a hobby horse, that one looks like a castle, that could look like a deep crow, if you squint. Clearly your minds are all clouded, and I'm the only one who can see through the little space and see these deep crows. They are approaching in fast.

Yeah, man, you're right. It was his third eye or whatever. He opened his mind on the mountain peaks. No, I think he's having flashbacks to when Sauron, man, tried to awaken the mountain of Karatras and made us turn back. Gesundheit. Are you having flashbacks?

I'm not having flashbacks. I feel more clear-minded than ever. Was your brain thawed by that throne you sat on? I'm tired of your questions. No, he sat on one. Oh, he did get beamed by rocks in the head. Frost, I believe you might be hungry. Would you like a bit of...

Polanella's honey. I'll eat anything. He hands you a honey pot that's just filled with delicious honey from the queen bee. Oh, she's got a full honey pot, all right. I gank it out of her hand. Oh! Frosty! And he poured in a storm, Frosty Egg.

You drink up the honey, but it's not enough. Honey lines the ceramic pot. You begin to chew into the pot. You crack it into pieces. You begin to swallow shards of ceramic. Now it's just being greedy. Okay. I was going to reuse that pot. I think you need to get into Macho Man Randy Savage and take on this problem. What are you talking about?

You didn't have a problem, Grubby. Are you fucking what I'm thinking? I'm thinking what you're thinking. Wait, what are you guys talking about? What do you mean? Hold on, hold on. Just give me one second. Hold on, hold on. Can we just real quick? Can we just give Green Guy a head up? Green Guy a head up. Green Guy a head up. All right, all right. Just give him a head up. Frost is trying to give you a fucking problem. He's blowing a whole fucking thing. Are you suggesting we fucking whack the guy? What? I mean, after all this time? No. I mean, right here, right there. No. We just gotta put him in the office.

I'm gonna read him a non-moon book and put him in a non-moon book and put him in a non-moon book and put him in a non-moon book and put him in a non-moon book and put him in a non-moon book and put him in a non-moon book and put him in a non-moon book and put him in a non-moon book and put him in a non-moon book and put him in a non-moon book and put him in a non-moon book and put him in a non-moon book and put him in a non-moon book and put him in a non-moon book and put him in a non-moon book and put him in a non-moon book and put him in a non-moon book and put him in a non-moon book and put him in a non-moon book and put him in a non-moon book and put him in a non-moon book and put him in a non-moon book and put him in a non-moon book and put him in a non-moon book and put him in a non-moon book and put him in a non-moon book and put him in a non-moon book and put him in a non-moon book and put him in a non-moon book and put him in a non-moon book and put him in a non-moon book and put him in a non-moon book and put him in a non-moon book and put him in a non-moon book and put him in a non-moon book and put him in a non-moon book and put him in a non-moon book and put him in a non-moon book and put him in a non-moon book and put him in a non-moon book and put him in a non-moon book and put him in a non-moon book and put him in a non-moon book and put him in a non-moon book and put him in a non-moon book and put him in a non-moon book and put him in a non-moon book and put him in a non-moon book and put him in a non

You gotta turn that charm back on, you understand? That's what I was-- I was doing something! I was doing something! I know, I know! It's fucking-- It's fucking a love thing! Get rid of it, dude. God damn it, you know, you let a nerd get into that fucking thing. That's what I'm saying, they get down with power! And as terrible as your cooking is, would you give me more of your foodstuffs? It was Polanella that made it, of course. Would you like a biscuit?

How many biscuits can you give me? Well, I have an entire tin of biscuits, about 24 in total, right? Who passes you the tin of biscuits? Yeah, what's going on, Grim? What were you guys talking about? We'll talk about Kevin later, but... Will you kindly punch Frost until he stops laughing? And I cast a gesture. Oh!

Oh, boy! Oh, Frosty! I'm going to punch you so hard. You're not going to see it coming, man. It's going to be so fast. You know how fast it's going to be, Frosty. Do you know how fast I am? Of course you don't know how fast I am. You're not fast enough to keep up with the story. Last night I was going to bed. I hit the light switch and I was in bed before the room.

I tackle Frost, and I punch him in the face, and I try to wrap my arm around him. You move forward as you reach out, and it's not going to be fast. It's going to be slow, and I cast Calm Emotions to counter the charm of Suggestion. I would like you to roll... I would like you to roll a contest. I'm going to leave it on you.

- I would like you to roll a contest to see who is the, roll initiative to see who's going to be quicker. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, roll initiative. - I'll roll initiative. - Initiative style, yeah. - You have plus three automatically, but you are at disadvantage. - Oh, thank you. - There's no justice in this world. - That's brutal.

You could twist it. I'll twist it. That was a party. Here we go. All right, draw a card. 17. 22. Okay. Draw a card.

It's gonna be the you die card. You first, bro. When I'm freed, I just... Can't lose my heart defense. Oh, show's out, it's the big one! Must have been genital. That is a six of coins. Oh! Upright, reverse. Upright. Upright.

All right, let me see. Genitals. Oh, God. You believe you have preternatural strength, but you have actually become incredibly weak. No. Fucking fantastic. Fucking fantastic. I start juggling my balls. I'm pulsating with strength for all of the years.

And here he goes!

- In a second, man. - You watch as Gideon rushes forward. - Good night, Frosty! - Frost, you are able to slow him. As you get to Frost, you slow down and you begin to punch. You know that you are stronger now than you have ever been. Even though you're punching as slow as you could possibly punch,

You believe that you are punching him harder than you've ever punched anyone in your entire life. His face should be paste. It should be mayonnaise at this point. You are turning his face to butter with the way that you are turning into it. Guys! The rest of you, however, notice that Gideon's muscles completely deflate. Where had been this incredibly...

ripped man is now this tall, thin, frail Gideon. His cheeks are sunken in. His skin becomes sallow, almost pink-like as his noodle arms are just flopping forward and slowly smacking Frost in the face. No, Mr. Kremi, no! It's not supposed to happen like this! Frost is supposed to be first! Why does he look like he's fighting in a dream? He looks like a shipwreck victim. Frosty, every time I hit you, you die!

I don't know how you're coming back so well, but you're dying. I'm hitting you so damn hard. It doesn't hurt at all. You've never been so hard. I barely even feel it. Look at the power of my mind, Kremi. Gideon looks like an empty red balloon. So that's what the ick is.

He's like a hungry skeleton! I don't know how to solve this problem. I'm taking my orbs and I'm leaving. You guys aren't able to protect me from the deep crows. I'm going to have to go on the rest of this journey by myself. Frosty! Frosty, shh, go to sleep, little bitch! Go to sleep, Frosty! If you won't go to sleep, you don't!

Why?

There's no justice! Gideon, you can let go or you can hold on, but if you hold on, you're just gonna be my billowing cape like Superman. I'll never let go of Dave! Boom! Now punch! Now punch! Gideon, you're not... You're about to be flattened pancakes, you dumb son of a bitch! Boom!

You're not lying. As you begin to move away, the wind whips past you as Gideon is holding on to you. And his frail body is just flapping in the breeze. He's like a wacky, waving, inflatable leg dude, man. Frosty, come back! We can't defeat the deep crows on our own!

Give it up, you loser. Oh, no! I start walking away. You do. I'm wrapped around Frosty. You start to walk away, and as you pass the circle of stones, you're walking right past the shale stone, and you hear our gauntle crying, whimpering. You even hear her voice. I thought we were friends. I was so excited to finally meet someone.

They were all so nice. That's not her voice, but that's what it sounds like in this moment. And you think to yourself, what a fucking, actually, no, that's really, really mean. Why would I ever think that? And as the wind picks up and actually dislodges Gideon from around your shoulders, Gideon whips backwards and slams against one of the other monoliths. The curses leave your body.

Me too. No. Gideon, do you ever feel like a plastic bag floating in the wind? Oh, I'm just looking to start again. Frosty, no!

We will never defeat the titans if we don't, you know it. You've been suggested and you cannot stop until Frosty has been put to sleep. Did you say I was just knocked out? No, you were just knocked into a megalith, so you are able to get yourself back up and run back towards Frosty. This megalith can't save you, Frosty, you dumb son of a bitch. You're going to bed, you're going to night-night town. Gideon, Gideon, Gideon, quiet, quiet. Population U, you dumb bastard. I'm sorry if I hurt you. Are you all right? Well, no.

You didn't hurt me, you weak, stupid bastard. I got the wind, it whipped me up and flew me to that rock. I'm coming right back for you. Now get over here. I'm sorry I had to kill you, Frosty, but I don't know what else to do, man. It's just your time.

It feels like a... You're not doing anything wrong. This is nothing. This is absolutely nothing.

I turn around and I walk back. You do.

Gideon's legs are wrapped around your waist, his arms are wrapped around your neck, he is straining, he's sweating. It's like a backpack from an anime. But it's doing nothing. You've never been so moist on your back before. Even through my robe, this is remarkable. Oh, the robe doesn't even, it's like a thin layer of silk. There's nothing.

Uh, I make my way and I turn around and as soon as I'm within an earshot, I, uh, I yell out, "Gremmy! Dorbik! Griggo! I..."

Something came over me. I don't know what happened. What? I can't hear you over Gideon screaming. What? Something came over him, all right. It's called Gideon Savage. He's right here and Frosty's going nowhere. Everyone say your goodbyes because Frosty's about to make it in. Can you release? Can you unwood? Oh, I can just stop concentrating on this, can't I? Yeah, yeah. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

I mean, I've never felt so strong before.

Oh, man. He's so sweaty. I pick him up like he's an empty Spider-Man suit. Hey, get your hands off me, man. What are you doing? And I just walk in and his limbs are just flapping around. Oh, God. I'm bringing the stones back and I'm bringing back... I should never have said those. They're no deep crows. They're no...

I was very mean to all of you. I didn't mean to... Did you do this? No, no, no, no. I don't know exactly what happened. All I tried to do was calm his mind so that he wouldn't attack me, but... Can you reconstitute him somehow? Do you have a tire pump? Oh, maybe it's one of those things we put

we probably put him in a glass of water overnight and he becomes like a rhinoceros or something. No, I don't like water. I don't think that's probably true. Oh yeah, that's probably a thing. Yeah, I guess. That sounds right. Let's just lie him down here on the board and he'll probably reflate soon enough. Oh man.

It's good that you survived that, Frost, because I've never been as powerful as I am right now. You're doing great, dude. Listen, I don't know how you did that, man. It must have been mind power or something. Only because of the three stones I possessed, presumably. Yeah, that's probably a cheater. That's almost certainly it. I don't know why I need to stay in the room now. Frosty, why would you say all those mean things? Our lovely host, you are her grace.

Uh, the Queen is very sad now on account of you being very nasty. And also, why are your pants stained? Oh yeah! We don't have to talk about that. Why is there a wet spot? I didn't notice it. Gideon's kind of very soft and rapid.

All right, we don't have to talk about it. Oh, now Joel's disappointed. Now it's impossible to not see it. Oh, no. I can't stop looking at it now. It's really distracting. Why is it growing? It goes from jade to forest.

Well, because I upgraded my character from 2014 to 2024, I have Prestidigitation now! Yay! I cleaned myself up and, uh... Oh, man. Argintal is rightly upset. I was very cruel to her after what was an excellent game, and she's a terrific player, but I was taken in my focus by the Feywild winds here, and I said some things I should not.

Are you serious about your apology? I am sincere. Then Torbek also has to apologize because Torbek made up some things to hurt her feelings. You said also said mean things? Yeah, I lied about the things that you said because Torbek was mad since you were so mad at me to Torbek. Oh, you can't...

You were overcome with Fae Madness too? No. And they've compelled you to be a horrid person? Oh, that was as things imagined. Oh, Dormant's just a terrible person. Just a character flaw. Yeah. Wait, you fought up all those things on your own? Yeah, Dormant did. Oh, man. That just came at me. That flew out of you. Wow. Well, no, surely it was the other, right? Yeah, Dormant was very upset. Flew out of you like Frost five minutes ago. Yeah.

Yeah! Well, both of you, go and apologize right now. We're going to. Torbek, I forgive it up, you loser. That was pretty funny. I tried, I tried. Torbek will apologize and make things right and then leave himself to be devoured by the truly ancient Deep Crows. I think we're fine about that. I think the Deep Crows were a figment of my Feywild-influenced imagination.

I'm gonna try to walk up to the stone that I saw her meld into. And see if I can hear anything from the inside. You can easily hear that she's in there crying. I'm gonna tap on her. If you need her out of there, I can punch that rock into a million pieces. No, that's not necessary. I've never been so strong. I'm just saying, I can punch it into a million pieces if you need her out of there. Dormek and Frost are here.

I am here, Argandal, and I want to tell you that I was being influenced by the Feywild winds. We're from the Prime Material Plane, and I was focused so much on our fantastic, enjoyable, competitive game that I lost my emotions, and I said things that I didn't mean. I truly was not myself. Some early evil-cursed other had taken control of me by the end of the game, and what I meant was to say...

Thank you and congratulations. It was truly an excellent game. Those feelings you felt were all very real. And I want to make it up to you, please. Roll a persuasion check at advantage. And Torbek has absolutely no excuse. Torbek tried to think of the most hurtful things he could possibly think of in hopes that you and your people would tear Frost to shreds. So Torbek is sorry Frost didn't say those things.

I'm focused so hard on my apology that I need to use a twist. The cycle begins now! It begins again! Roll the three and the four, and I want this to fucking succeed. Holy shit. So you took one. I'm gonna use... Count your cards. This is all the cards that I've used. So you've... How many is that? Four, I think. One, two, three, four. We have plenty. We have plenty. Yeah.

We have 14? I thought I had birds five. Hungry, unlucky, cursed other, and swarm of birds. Nope, just four. Alright. I'm gonna do a little cutty cut, and I'm gonna upright the emperor. Which really seems appropriate right now. Wow. You see false visions of a past where you did horrible things. They are so realistic and convincing that you begin to doubt your own reality.

Fuck.

We're a serial killer. Yes. I twisted Pricko's nut so fast. It's like fire hydrant. I got three, four, four. So should I take another twist? Yes! Oh my god. Let's go! All right, just give it up. Guys, I can't get over.

I can't get over Tomek, I mean how naturally that came to him. Those horrid things flew out of him like reverse butt chug in a frictionless plane.

Yes

18. Okay, but I need your other twist. Upright Hierophant, number five. And based on Marius's expression, I'm going to have a really good time. I'm going to have you do another one. Oh. Here at the bottom. At the bottom of the deck. Just keep it out. Only because it's similar to one that you had already today. Reversed Death, 13. Yeah.

Death is usually good in tarot, right? That's the good one. Oh, is it reversed? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Death isn't like... It's not as ominous as it sounds. But it can be, I guess. Yeah, depending on your point of view. Like, this game just really... These tarot cards just really want you to be hungry because the hero fan, I'm gonna tell you, was you have an insatiable hunger for bones. And I was like, well, you've already been hungry, so we're not gonna do that.

but reverse death, you become the epitome of the deadly sin of gluttony. What about upright death? Upright death. Yes, your face disappears and is replaced by smooth, featureless skin.

Did you do this to him? And per your other one, just to make sure you fully understand what that means, is your mind is creating its own memories of horrible things that you've done in the past and you believe them. And so as you're telling her this story, I have no mouth and I must scream. You realize, Wait, how's he breathing? You realize that

There was that one village. Where was that at? But you woke up in the middle of the night and without anyone knowing, you murdered everyone in that town. You can still hear the screams. I have just finished. I have just finished saying to Argintal, sincerely, I am so sorry for all the things that... And she believes you. As she steps out of the shale monolith,

"Oh, Frost, I'm really glad that you said that, "because we're the--" What the fuck?! She screams and runs back into the stone. No, no, wait, wait, wait! I know, I know, this is horrifying. What the hell is going on?

What was that? What happened to his face? We'll fix this. We'll fix this. Don't make sure you apologize. Don't make you go up there. Yeah, get out of here. I'm going to take Frost and push him back towards the group. Don't worry, I'll carry him. Don't worry. Come on, Frost. He can't breathe. He can't breathe. Come on. How's he breathing? What did he eat today? What did he eat? A bunch of rain? Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. He can't breathe. He's suffocating.

You always got a knife on him. I got something for this situation. Rosie, hold still. Roll and attack. All I have is a curly Q straw. I have a curly Q straw. I have a curly Q straw. I have a crazy straw. 19. That hits. Oh, for a curly Q, I gotta make a different cut. Help!

- You do one point of piercing damage as you slice into Frost's face. - I imagine that it's like a cake, it's just flesh all the way down. - It is just flesh all the way down. And there's no blood. You're just watching as more pure white flesh

- A white flash appears beneath the wound. - Oh gosh, it's horrible. - But you do take one point of damage. - I should've thrown off. - Oh, okay. I'm so distracted from the horrors that are being manifest in my mind. - As you're trapped in-- - I'm not even able to communicate psychically and psionically. - At this point, you can't even hear what they're saying. All you can see is the look in these people's eyes as you took their life from them, as their bodies went limp.

the smell of death all around you, the feel of a craving for more death. This is well-deserved. I got one more idea, Grigio. Okay. I got a couple crazy stories. I'm going to plunge the knot straight into his lungs. I'm going to put up a hole straight into his lungs. Right in his lungs? Right in his lungs. Oh, my God. Are they in the lungs here? I don't have enough.

I have enough, I have enough. Who knows where Long's are? Long's are about there and there. Well, that's good enough. Crazy Strong, Crazy Strong, Crazy Strong, Crazy Strong, Crazy Strong. As you plunge the knife into Frost's chest, your strength does actually come back. And you stab the knife all the way through. You overshoot the knife and plunge it deep into Frost's chest. I can't go!

I need you to roll at advantage. By the power of the Feywild! Frost, you are just laying motionless on the ground and your body is wracked with the need for air that you cannot get. You should have surrounded me like a Tropicana commercial. What did you...

What did you get? 19 to hit. I would absolutely. It's going to do five points of piercing damage as you dig the knife hilt deep into Frost's chest as Gricko follows up by shoving the curly cue straw. I do a fistful of crazy straws. A fistful of crazy straws. You watch as blood begins to burble up out of the straws, but your aim was true and you did hit the lungs.

That is not how this is supposed to work. And you can see Frost's chest begin to shudder and convulse as the air begins to leak out of his lungs. You take six points of piercing damage. Oh, we saved him, guys. We saved him. Oh, thank God. Nice claw on the lungs, man. Yeah, that was really smart.

That was my idea, that was your idea. No, I mean, but you knew where the lungs were on it in the first pullback. I mean, I saw the stab a guy in the lungs. Thank goodness that I carried seven to eight crazy straws on me. I mean, listen, with our powers combined, we really got to have one. He's like, you're right.

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Holy shit, we just saved Frosty, man. Is he gonna be okay? Oh, thank God I was always prepared with crazy straws. Good work on the straws, man. Good job with the knife. I mean, you made a couple of unnecessary cuts. With every breath, he attempts to take the blood bubbles out of the crazy straws.

Don't look over there. Don't look over there. Focus on Torbjorn. Focus on Torbjorn. Don't look over there. I think there could be a spread of the blood. Let me get the Garallon blue. Let me just go around this child. No, he's good. He's good. It's all sealed in nice and tight. He's not getting that out. That's going straight into the airways. I mean, that one's shaped like a flamingo. That one's shaped like a palm tree. That's just a curlicue.

You try so hard to rip them out, but they're Guralan glued in and they're Gryla glued in. Oh no. Oh, you used Gryla glue instead of Guralan glue. Yeah, what's wrong with that?

Frosty! No, when he has eyes again, he's gonna be happy with what's happening. Yeah, we saved you! I start turning the straws into knots to cut off my air supply so that I can die. Faster! No, hey! I try to slap, smack, smack. Hey, hey! No, no, no! Get your hands off of there! Now your paws are covered in blood! No, come on! No, no, no, no, no. This is for, this is, we're helping you, we're helping you.

Good job, Frosty. Oh, can't he talk? That's what his mind is. I think he's totally dead in there. At this time that Argantel makes her way out of her monolith, having heard all of this commotion, and she looks around, she sees what is happening with Frosty. He's very clearly on the brink of death. She looks to his smooth white face and is very confused, but she has a much more substantial understanding of Frosty

and realizes the dire straits that he's in. And she rushes over to him and she uses her abilities to remove the straws from his chest and where the hole had been, there is now a sheet of slate. Frost's chest begins to rise and fall normally. Torbjorn was like, "Where are you going? "Torbjorn's trying to apply!" "Every time!" "Were you trying to kill your friend?" "No, he's saying he's alive!" "You're supposed to put the straws into his throat, "not into his lungs."

Ohhhhh. Well, I wasn't supposed to get him out. Yes, everybody's a doctor, I get that. Yeah, what, are we fucking surgeons? I mean, look at him. You don't know what you're doing while you're sticking things into his body. Well, 'cause we were trying to save him! What are you, just 'cause I don't know what I'm doing doesn't mean I'm not gonna try! It's just weird, what happened to him? Well, I don't know. He put the strange mask on. No, this is how they did it. This is how they did it in that, uh, that...

major image with John Voight and Owen Wilson. She places her hand on Frost's smooth face and she begins to mold the flat white face of it. It almost looks like marble. And she begins to mold it into a face. And Frost, you're able to speak. You can still hear the screams of the dying. Does he have like a clay face? Yes. It's horrific. Oh!

Frosty, can you hear us? We saved your life! This isn't better than the straws. I... have never been in so much emotional and physical pain. I mean, oh no! Oh, Frosty! How can we help you? Just let me die. No! We're not gonna let you die! No man left behind! We could make that happen. You're my best mate, Frosty! We're not gonna let you die!

Should I put bananas in all of the straws? Should I do that? No, then you're just gonna run banana juice through my circulatory system. No, it's put into your lungs, man! I'm sick and tired of it, but I think we fucked with the blood! Yeah, this is your lungs, not your circulatory system. No, it's not going to the blood, okay? Your lungs and your blood, not your circulatory system. You definitely missed some of my lungs. Well, that's some of maybe the stab wounds in you, but the straws are in your lungs.

It takes about 10 more minutes or so and the curses fade away and your face returns back to normal. Stop it. Oh, there we go. Your Grace.

I'm sorry about all this nonsense. I would say that that never happens to us, but that would be a fib. This happens all the time. Well, outside of having my feelings hurt, it does seem like Torbek and Frost were a little bit rude, but I do accept your apology. Outside of that moment, this has been the most entertaining day of my life in quite a while.

And I think I've communicated with the rest of the tribe and they would all like to join you for a rousing dance atop the plateau and a nice night of partying amid the stones. That sounds wonderful. If you would like to participate in the first Khorid celebration in many, many a time.

And if you would allow me, Gideon, I would like to teach you to dance. You can do that? Well, I mean... I can try. You used to be all that new. I can teach you. You used to be all that new. I can teach you the dance of my people. Well, I mean, is it cool or is it kind of like lame? Well, I think it's really cool. Well, then sure. Well, I'd like you to meet everyone then.

and she snaps her fingers and you watch as from each one of the stones a different Chorid appears until you're surrounded by a total of eight Chorids. They all look almost exactly the same. You imagine once they start dancing, you're gonna struggle to tell any of them apart. She goes through all of them and she introduces you to Jagu of Chalk,

Budok of flint, Ozzel of granite, Mazelda of slate. She's shale, by the way. Yana of basalt, Null of obsidian, and Mallow of marble. They all...

They all seem very happy that you're there and they begin to, um, they begin to craft things out of stone and set up all sorts of decorations. And they, um, they pull from each of their respective monoliths, different musical instruments until they have, um, drums and they have, um,

they have a little, what are the shakers called? I can't remember. - Barakas? - No, the like-- - Tambourines? - Tambourines. They have a jug that they can blow into and begin to create music. And though the rest of them don't seem to be that talkative, they all begin to dance around you and begin to play this booming music. And the queen, Argantel, makes her way up to you.

"It's time for me to teach you how to dance." And she begins to kick her little cloven-hooved legs out as she begins to kick them one leg after the other as she begins to dance in a circle. And in tandem, when she kicks her left leg out, she moves her right arm into the air. It's a really dumb dance. Quite frankly, it's a really dumb dance. But she is having the greatest time. And everyone else seems to really like it. - You're doing that perfectly. - It's incredibly, incredibly easy.

To learn it, you're going to have to roll a performance check at disadvantage. Guys, it's like the end of an Illumination film. Dance party! Oh, what the heck? I am still in the aftershock of the trauma that I've undergone. You can still hear the screams. Instead of participating in the dance right away, I will go and find Amdapor and apologize for...

- Amdapor is in the middle of all of these chords. He is doing the dance with them. He is shouting and Paulinella is buzzing around him. He doesn't, you start to apologize to him and he shushes you, he doesn't need one.

He understands that sometimes things come over you and he quickly tells you, you know, what's, this is nothing among friends. I took your biscuits and I destroyed your ceramic. I owe you. I am to pour.

Not at all, not at all. Just dance, have a good night, let's enjoy the evening here with the Khorids. I will do my best, 'cause his mouth is covered in honey. And all of you are able to get this dance easily as the Khorids dance among you and dance with you. What was your performance check? Well, it was a two. You try your hardest.

But as you kick your right leg out, you move your right arm out as well and it knocks off your balance and you fall over. You climb back up and she's trying to show you again and you kick both your legs out and then you fall over. Oh, but that's stupid! Whatever it was that the Darklings did to you when they took your ability to channel your rhythm, it

Doesn't seem like you can. But our gauntlet, our gauntlet is determined and she continues. You all dance for 30 minutes, an hour. You are enjoying this. They have food that they are providing for you. And as you eat, you feel yourself overcome with what feels like a long rest. The food is incredibly replenishing. Um,

everything feels for the first time since getting to yawn at least it feels good and it feels happy and she continues to attempt to teach you i want you to roll two more performance checks at disadvantage two performance checks both at both a disadvantage yeah it's an eight that is a six it's a six and a natural 20. so a six

Though the dance is very easy, and Argantel is trying as hard as she possibly can, you are impossible to teach. And the rhythm just does not come. And after an hour passes, she gives up in teaching you. But you are still having a good time all the same. And though you can't master the Khorid dance, you do find that...

whatever this is that you're doing is fun. And you hear the words that she told you about how you could learn to dance. You could learn a new type of rhythm. And that's something that they couldn't take away from you. And you feel that even though you haven't mastered the Korid dance, you feel like it is possible for you to regain your rhythm. - Wait up, shoulda listened to Krammy.

The rest of you continue to dance alongside. Let's drink some whiskey. Yeah, let's drink some whiskey. I'm going to teach you magic. Never worry about it. Thank you. The rest of you continue to dance. And as you learn, I want the rest of you to roll either an athletics or performance check over the course of the hour. Oh, boy.

You as well, Gideon. This is for something different. 8. Disadvantaged performance. No, no regular. Oh, just regular. I got a 24. Oh my god. I rolled an 18. Yeah, I didn't realize your performance was an 18. No, actually I went with athletics, which is a plus 6. 19. 19. I'm sorry, what was the... It's an athletics roll? Athletics or performance. 18. 26. Everyone except for Frost.

you dance with these Khorids and they seem to be impressed with your movements. Frost, you are still, even though you have the realization that this scene that you had remembered of you murdering an entire village of people was not true, the imagery still lingers with you and you are more aloof and pulled away from the revelry. As the rest of you engage in this dance, the Khorids teach you

something akin to them. You learn that even though they're covered in beards and this mop of hair, that if their hair is cut with scissors or shears or something, the hair itself that is cut is turned into the metal of the device that was used. And that...

- Oh, that's right. - And that it is being part of the reason that they don't dance anymore is that it would bring the attention of Bitter End who would swoop down with iron shears and remove especially the hair of Queen Argantel and use it to man her contraptions.

Does it look like she's been able to grow out her hair a little bit? And they mention that it grows very quickly, but it is disrespectful and it is hurtful to them as a people to have it taken in this way. It is a gift to be given the hair of a Korid. And that they even have this ability to command Korid.

the hair itself, even once it's severed. And they teach you the ability to do that. Should you find yourself in Motherhorn and be in need of their assistance when they're not there to help you, at least the four of you will be able to command these Khorid Kords. But not Frost. But not Frost. Oh, thank God. I was about to say, not Tormek again. Not Tormek again. No.

I'm glad we're all dancing. Yeah, this is fun. The dancing continues for another hour. You guys are starting to get tired. The night is beginning to fall as you start to hear pounding in the mines.

- The Khorids begin to grind their teeth and stamp their hooves as the faint sound of pickaxes tapping on stone is carried to them on the wind. Queen Argantel runs to a boulder, picks it up, and hurls it 100 feet in the direction of the noise while she screams, "Death to the Briganox!" And that is where we will end tonight's episode. - Whoa! - Damn! - Man, they interrupted our several hour rendition of Victory Celebration from the end of Return of the Jedi.

No, that's what we were doing. No, that was way off. Thanks for running the session. You won't dance. Nub nub. Nub nub. Nub nub. Nub nub. Nub nub. Thank you so much for listening to the Legends of Avantras podcast. We hope you enjoyed the session. If you want even more campaigns to listen to, become a member of our Patreon at the Pearl Dolphin tier or higher to unlock Shroud over Saltmarsh, a patron-exclusive campaign set on the high seas. You can find that at patreon.com forward slash legendsofavantras.com.

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