Shownotes Transcript
Hi pussies! We are in Oklahoma City. Tour is happening. I am having the best time ever. We are having so much fun. There's a little drama this morning, but what is a trip without a little drama? But tonight we are in Oklahoma City and I'm so excited. I guess when this episode airs, I will be in St. Louis.
um, which I'm also really excited for. Brett is coming and Trudy is coming cause that is Trudy's hometown. But yeah, tour is great. I'm having a great time. I have this new thing where I stand on the stage and make everyone take photos of me. Like I'm on a red carpet and actually let's cut that. That's for, well, why would I cut that? I've already posted that. I am a little manic if you guys can't tell just a little, um, so much so that, uh,
Zach has asked me, hey, are you taking your meds? I don't know what's going on. So I'm thinking that I'm going to have a call with a new psychiatrist. Sometimes I just feel like with psychiatrists,
It's like you're just like pushing drugs onto me like, you know when Mean Girls were the Tina Fey's like I'm a pusher like that's like what these psychiatrists feel like to me like I'll talk to them for five minutes and they'll be like okay So this is what I'm gonna prescribe you this out in the third I'm like, but you don't even fucking know me like how are you gonna give me all these meds? You don't know me that is something wrong with the American pharmaceutical system, and I think it's actually incorrect And I'm not afraid to say it so
Um, okay. I'm having fun with this though, for sure. Uh, what else is up with me? If you guys are listening to this on Spotify or Apple, um, I have been uploading tour vlogs, what we just did week one. And it's really funny and it's,
I like it, so give it a watch whenever you get the chance if you want to. Tonight on Therapist, we have Ross Lynch. He is very gorgeous and extremely talented. He is one half of the Driver era, and they are gearing up to release their new album, which is amazing. I was able to listen to it. It is incredible.
And I think we honestly like hung out for so long during this. This episode really felt like a hangout. We were very different people. He loves nature. I'm not, you know, I'm, you guys know, I'm like connected to my phone. Like that's my, that's like my, I'm not really in touch with nature, but he was really able to tell me why nature was important and why we should all go touch grass.
And I really think you guys are going to like this episode. My OCD is telling me to redo that, but I'm going to keep that for you guys, okay? I love you, pussies. Go to passthatpuss.com and see if there is a show near you for Live with Jake Shane. It is really, really fun. I've been loving doing these shows and meeting you guys in person has been amazing. And enjoy the episode. I love you, pussies. I love you, pussies.
Hi pussies, welcome back to Therapist. Today we have the one, the only, I say that for every fucking guest, it's actually diabolical. Well there are one and only, you know, everyone's a one and only version I feel like. Ross Lynch is here. What's up pussies? Yay!
So Ross. Yeah, what's up? I don't know. What's up with you? Nothing much. It's a beautiful day. Southern California. Wait, I think I have that same exact watch. It's like the only nice watch I have. Is that retro? It's like 60s. Nevermind.
I just got it recently, actually. I was in London. No, yeah. Mine's not cool like that. Oh. You were in London? What were you in London for? I was touring. How was that? It was great, honestly. We were just in, we just did like a European run, which is so fun because it just feels like a little more exotic. You're like in European cities. Do you prefer European shows to American shows? Not necessarily. I think that touring is just a little bit more exciting. Mm-hmm.
Because you're in new cultures every day and, like, different languages, different people. Right. And just, like, the rich history of Europe is always fun to be in. Uh-huh. And honestly, like, people are stylish over there. So stylish. You're pretty stylish. It was because I was just in Europe. I'm like, dude, I want to... Checks out. You know? But, yeah, no, I don't know if the shows are any different, to be honest with you. Like, our crowds are pretty great across the board. Yeah.
Do you have somewhere that's been your favorite place to play so far? Honestly, Paris is up there. Paris is up there? Yeah. What do you love about Paris? It was partially the venue. It's partially some of the experiences that I've had in Paris. It's just kind of like...
That's probably the city I've spent the most time in in Europe. So I just have a lot of great memories there. And I know a few spots now. Correct me if I'm wrong, but there's a song on the album about Paris. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There is. It's called Don't Walk Away. Right. It actually opens with that, yeah. What inspired Don't Walk Away? Just a little relationship I was experiencing for a moment. In Paris? Yeah. And it was great. Didn't end up working out, but...
It's a really good time, and it's a dear memory. Aw. Well, you've memorialized it. Yeah, I guess so. Yeah. It's nice. It is nice. Yeah. So tell me a little bit about, okay, so how long has the driver era been together for? It's you and your brother. Well, I mean, me and my brother have known each other our whole lives. Right, right. So there's that. But we've been doing this for like six years now, since 2018. Okay. Seven years, I guess. Wow, time flies. Time does fly. We were just talking about that. I know.
Where were you guys born? Colorado. Colorado. Yeah, Littleton, Colorado. Does your family still there? Some of my family is, yeah, but most everyone's in LA now. Okay, okay. And did you guys all move out here when you started doing Disney stuff? We moved out here a few years prior to that in hopes of being in the entertainment industry. Right. And we started a band and we were doing auditions. I was in Kidz Bop commercials and shit.
Were you really? Oh, yeah. I did, like, all this random stuff prior to Disney Channel. Uh-huh. I, like, had my first kiss in a short film with this girl named Posey. Yeah, just, like, I don't know. We literally, like, kind of wild. Like, I come from a big family dynamic, and we would just, like, do that long road trip from Colorado to L.A. in, like, a 15-passenger van. And we'd, like, flip the seats around so we could, like, we, like, made makeshift beds in the car. Yeah.
And we did that road trip probably like 10 times just in like hopes of like. Do you miss doing the road trip? Do you ever do it still? My mom just did it actually with my sister and her kids. My sister has four kids. Oh, no way. And the oldest isn't four yet. Isn't four? Isn't four yet. She's had four kids in four years. Yeah.
Isn't that wild? That's crazy. They're the cutest kids, too. They're honestly, like, some of my favorite people alive. Is she done having children now, or is she, like— I think she—I think she wants six. No way. Yeah. Well, like I said, like, we come from a big family dynamic. Right, right. It's like— How many siblings do you have? There's five. Right, five. In my family, yeah. But it's like—it's like a—what's the word I'm looking for?
You know what I'm saying? A little. No, no, no. It's part of the culture of our... But there's another word for it. Like what is the vibe of the word you're looking for? I think it starts with a T.
And what is like the vibe? The vibe is like, it's a, it happens off. It's like, it's part of like. Tradition? Tradition. Thank you. Oh. Yeah. It's like, it's like, it's like tradition. Okay. A tradition to have a lot of children. Do you want a lot of kids? I might. Uh huh. Yeah, I think so. I mean, we'll see. It's, it's so hard to, I feel like every time you like talk to like a parent, they're like, you're never going to be ready. Right. So I don't, I definitely don't feel like I'm ready by any means, but I guess that's, you're
You're never going to be ready? I guess. I feel like I'm never. How old are you? I'm 29. 29? Yeah. When's your birthday? 25? Okay. December 29th. So you are a Capricorn. I'm a Capricorn, yeah. What are you? Scorpio. Oh, really? Yeah. Rocky's a Scorpio. My brother, Rocky. Really? Yeah. And what, do you guys get along? Mm-hmm. I feel like I get along with most everyone, honestly.
Is that a bad sign? No, no. That's a pretty – Is that a red flag? No, that's not a red flag at all. That's actually probably a really good thing. I get that vibe from you. Yeah, I like people, you know? Yeah. Yeah. I was going to say that I also used to do a road trip when I was a kid from New York to L.A. every summer. Oof. Yeah. It was five nights, and sometimes we would do the drive –
From Colorado to L.A. in one shoot. Yeah, that's what we did. What is that, like 17 hours? Yeah, I made my dad do it once because I was like the fourth day and I was like, if I am in this car another day, like I'll spiral. Damn. So I made him drive 17 hours straight. What was the reason for the commute? My dad just didn't, I don't know. I think he thought it'd be bonding and he didn't want to get a rental car in L.A. So he wanted to keep his car. He didn't want to ship it.
He's just kind of like... Oh, you only did that one time. No, we did it four or five times. Damn. One time we did it with a dog. Have you ever done it with a dog? No. It's brutal.
And then one time we went to a hotel and there was bed bugs at the hotel and we had to leave at two in the morning. It's very hard to find a hotel in the middle of nowhere sometimes. That sounds traumatic. Like for me, yeah. Yeah. Wow. And now I'm like every hotel I go to, I think there's bed bugs. So you guys were going to live in L.A.? No, we would be here for the summer. Oh, okay. So we would just we would get a house and be here for the whole summer. Wow.
It was really fun. That sounds kind of fun. Yeah, it was really fun. I mean, road trips are fun, maybe just not five days. I had an iPod, so I enjoyed myself. Yep, back in the iPod days. Yeah, and I would listen to...
A lot of Victorious. Nice. A lot of like Lady Gaga, some Taylor Swift. Randomly like Kendrick Lamar was like 12. No way. Yeah. Like good kid Mad City vibes? Yes. Wow. Did you ever have an iPod? I did have an iPod. What iPod did you have? I don't even remember. It was probably like one of those early ones with the swirling thing. Yes, the Nano. Is that the Nano? Yeah. Is it?
No, I don't know. I thought all the early ones had the little like. Yeah, I think I'm lying. But I think it's like this. I had the one that was like a square. Oh, okay. Did you have a shuffle? Mine was like rectangular. That was mine too. I did not fuck with the shuffles. Yeah, the shuffles because they didn't have a screen. It's also like one of my listening to. Totally. Well, it's kind of exciting nowadays actually to maybe not be influenced by like album art and stuff.
And just being able to like appreciate the song for the song. Oh, okay. Would be kind of cool. I feel like. Yeah. But I feel like album art has always been a part of everything, whether it's a CD or a vinyl. Yeah, totally. But then oftentimes like you're out and about in life. True. And you just hear a song. You're like, this is amazing. Yeah. You know. When's the last time that happened to you? It happens all the time. I feel like.
It doesn't happen to me a lot. Really? But when it does happen, like, it hits so hard. Oh, yeah, yeah. Like, do you know Blue the Tiger? The bass player? Yeah. She opened up for us, though, on our last LA show. Oh, she did? Yeah. She has this song called You Say, and I heard it live once, and, like, that was the last time I really heard a song live, and I was like, that's amazing. Really? Yeah, and then I also heard the new Sabrina Carpenter deluxe tracks that I really liked those. Mm-mm. What you were about to say. There was a song...
We were on tour somewhere in some random city and I was like, I had been sober for the whole tour. And then like, finally, like I was like, all right, tonight's the night I'm going to, I'm going to break the sobriety thing that I was trying. I always feel like it's good to do that every now and again. For sure. But we were just at this random bar and the song came on. I can't even, I don't even, Oh, it's called like a hunger.
And that hit me pretty hard. I was like, dude, this song is sick. Do you usually go sober on tour? I feel like even culturally on a larger level, I feel like more people are talking about sobriety, the negative effects of alcohol. Like a lot of people, I don't know if you know this, but I think the origin of the word alcohol, I think it's Arabic. And it means like soul eating alcohol.
or something around those. And I just thought that was kind of interesting. Soul-eating energy? Soul-sucking energy. Something like that. I don't know. You might have to fact-check this. What? Body-eating spirit. Body-eating spirit. So that's kind of interesting. Like, that's like the origin of the word. But listen, I love having a good time at the same time. I like having a good time too, but I guess...
That does make sense for what alcohol entails. What's your drink of choice? Yeah, you definitely see people, you know, acting up a little bit. Have you ever blacked out? No. Never? No, I'm pretty heavy. Okay. Like, I can drink a lot. What's your max? My max? Like, what are you like, okay, like, I'm on the verge of blacking out. Like a count? Yeah. I mean, I'm not really the type that will count. Okay.
But I also don't like being obliterated. Neither do I. Everyone needs to find their sweet spot for a little boogie and then call it quits. It took me a really long time. I used to black out. There was a weird period of my life when I was in college that every time I drank, I could have one shot and I just wouldn't remember the night. Oh, damn. I think it burned a hole in my brain. Yikes. Body eating spirits.
Yeah, that's wild. Yeah. So wait, you're saying one shot. No, it was like three and I was done. Damn. But that's because like, I think it must, it was just like something was wrong. And then I stopped drinking all of COVID. Cause like, what was the point? And then I came back and, um,
I still continued to black out. And then eventually I just stopped. I had this one blackout that like ruined my life. And I was like, okay, I need to maybe like eat before or something. Yeah, that's probably a good idea. Yeah, probably. Yeah. I mean, if you drink on an empty stomach, you're just. Have you ever drank on an empty stomach? Oh, yeah, yeah. For sure. And you still haven't blacked out? No, no, no. Good for you. Thank you. Do you smoke weed? I have had phases where I'll smoke some weed.
I used to smoke every single day, morning to night for the last five years. Well, even today, maybe less. No, I stopped. Okay. I stopped. Again, there's a lot of science coming out about it. You know, saying what that is affecting your brain in this, in a serious way. Like what? Like, I'm pretty sure I'm talking about like memory and like,
All sorts of stuff. What sorts of stuff? If you want to talk about sleep, apparently it can block your REM cycle of your sleep, which is like rapid eye movement, which is where your dreams occur. Oh, yeah. I didn't dream for the longest time. Totally. Alcohol does the same thing, apparently. Yes, it does. And sleep is arguably the most important thing we do. Right. How many hours do you get a night? Eight or nine. Wow. Good for you. It depends. It depends.
Because, like, I don't know. It depends. I like to get eight hours, but life happens. Do you sleep? Are you a hot sleeper or a cold sleeper? Cold. Me too. For sure. Me too. Wait, I feel like you were just about to say something, though. You were talking about you just stopped smoking weed. Yeah. Because someone told me I was going to be schizophrenic. Oh. Oh, that's why. And I said, not on my watch. And so I stopped smoking weed. Okay. Wow. Five years straight, though. That's pretty...
It was my everything. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I get it. I've been, I've been, I've smoked weed, you know. It makes me more creative. I think that's a, I think that's a, I don't think, I don't think that's real. Tell me more. I feel like that's just in your head. I also agree with you now, but if you asked me that three months ago, I wouldn't have agreed with you. Yeah. I think for a moment, it gives you a dopamine release and it definitely excites your brain, you know, for a moment. Right. But then honestly, after that initial high, you're kind of just...
And hungry. Yeah, and you're distracted easily. And, like, probably you are more susceptible to, like, paranoia or anxiety. It's really, like, I think these claims that, like, oh, I'm more creative. Because a lot of people talk about it. They all talk about how it's not addictive. It's definitely addictive. For the first week after I quit, I was, like, itching. Yeah, yeah, for sure. And I was like, this isn't right. And, like, now when I get really, really stressed out, all I want to do is smoke weed. And that feels like addiction. Yeah.
But I still haven't smoked because all I have to do when I think I want to smoke is look at an old photo of myself. Oh, whoa. Yeah. Well, how long has it been? Three months. Oh, nice. It was just like my face was so puffy. I get the munchies hard too. Yeah. It was just that. It's like all the salt. It was just like – and I wake up so much easier now. Yeah.
Wait, but you said you were a cold sleeper, speaking of. Yes. What do you sleep at? I don't even have a preferred temperature. I just want it to be as cold as possible. I'm a 62-er. Oh, that's pretty good, though. Yeah. 62, fan on, and then— For the white noise? No, no white noise. Are you ready for me to change your life? Yes. What's your mattress like? Is it technology vibes, or is it like a mattress mattress? It's like pretty basic. Okay. Are you ready for this? Yes. An eight sleep.
Are they paying you? No, they are not. And you're like, oh my god, Jake, what's an 8 sleep? Well, I'll tell you. It tracks your... Where's my phone? I like your slippers, by the way. Oh, you like them? You can wear them if you want. Sick. Do you switch? Yeah, you put on my loafers. Okay, wait, so it tracks your what? Oh my god, you have huge, huge feet.
This is nice. What size are you? I think like 11. Oh my God. What are you, nine? Eight and a half. Sometimes nine. It depends on the day. This is comfy though. It is comfy, right? Yeah. These are kind of comfy too. They're just kind of, they're not as snug as I usually wear my shoes. So wait, eight sleep? Yes. So this is my app, right? Oh, my brother has one of these. It like heats you up to wake you up. Yes. And vibrates.
And it vibrates you to wake you up. Look at that. So this is my sleep fitness score. It's a 91. Oh, it tells you your, I have an aura ring. Oh, the same shit. Same shit. That's cool. Oh, so this isn't as cool anymore. No, that is cool though. I'm interested in this. Okay. Okay. Cool. So this is, so last night I slept for seven hours and 47 minutes. Um, it tells me when I had REM sleep, light sleep, deep sleep. And when I was awake. Wow. That's really similar to the aura ring thing. Yeah. And I snored for an hour and 13 minutes. It says snoring. Yeah. Yeah.
I think it tracks sound, which is weird, right? That is kind of weird. I talk a lot of shit in my room, so I hope they don't. They're going to blackmail you. Yeah, and then it's my heart rate. Have you ever tried that? Like when a friend is sleeping and sleep talking and you like whisper to them and try to have a conversation about through their subconscious? No, but you know what I did last night? My friend butt dialed me and I stayed on the phone just to see if they would talk shit about me. Dang. Dang.
That is probably my, that would be such a sad occurrence. Yeah. I said, I'd gone on the phone and I text them. Well, I let them know. So I said, Hey, you're about dialing me right now, but I'm not hanging up. I'm waiting to see if you talk shit about me. Damn. What did they say? They hung up. Oh, which means shady business instead of being like, Oh my God. They hung up and called me back. Oh, it was. Yeah. That's a little shady. It was shady, right? Yeah. I definitely would be sussed out. Do you gossip?
No. Yes, you do. No, I got no shit to talk. Can we talk some shit, though, maybe? I would love to. What do you want to talk shit about? I don't know. I don't have any. You know what? Me and my girlfriend, I'm trying to keep it private, so I'm not trying to announce it to the whole world, but I just did. Oh, okay. No, we were just having a great conversation this morning about certain things, and the conclusion was like,
You know, the reminder of the conversation was like, I'm pretty much down for people to be who they want to be. And like, I don't have anything bad to say about people wanting to do what they think is right for them. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I know what you're saying. Like, obviously, if you're my friend, right, and you're smoking weed every day, and I see it having a negative effect on you, I'm probably going to say something. But at the same time, I feel like it's your life. And like, I might be like, hey, as your friend,
I think this might be having a negative impact on you, but it's your life. Oh, man. Simple. Talking shit is like my favorite pastime. Really? It's just like, I've just never gotten into it. I mean, it's just such a release. I don't know if it's like a girl thing. Cause like I'm friends with all girls. It's what we do. Sure. But like sometimes I'll be at dinner and it's just like, let's go through the Rolodex. Yeah.
Right? Are you talking about like what people are, who's dating who? Yeah. They're like practice, like skincare. No, no, no, no, no. So that's like, that's like juvenile talking shit. Okay. Okay. Okay. Talking shit is like when you're like, when I, when you're like a seasoned shit talker, like it's like, um, life choices vibes. It's like, I can't believe they've done this or they are. Can you give me an anonymous example of something that's actually happened recently? Or is this? No, I'm going to, I'm going to think, okay. Oh,
So, like, this guy and his girlfriend broke up. Okay. For a specific... Breakups are always super juicy, I get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, like, we don't know them enough to really care. Okay. But we do. Well, that's probably better to talk shit if you're not, like, emotionally invested. Right. And then they got back together, but we knew that the reason they broke up was, like, a real ender. So we were just confused as to why they got back together. No. It was just, like, moral differences. And so we were talking about how weird it is that they got back together because the reason they broke up, like, made...
to be like an ender forever. We talked about that for like 40 minutes. Moral differences. That's a big one. I mean, it's always surprising to me how people aren't more flexible in like listening and adjusting to what could be more morally acceptable
New word? More morally just, I suppose. Are you a flexible dater? Like, do you, like, when you are with someone, like, do you, like, are you like, this is who I am? Or do you, like? I'm reasonable. Right. You know, if you propose a good idea and it makes sense to me, I can definitely reason and learn. I tend to be attracted to people I deem reasonable.
So I, you know, the only reason to be in a relationship to me would be to grow and to, you know, together. Are you a good listener? Yeah, I think so. Uh-huh. I'm a really bad listener. You literally said, uh-huh. Yeah. Like, no, I'm definitely not. That's so funny. No, you are a good listener. I'm a bad listener. Which is, you know, I've never had a boyfriend. Never. Never. Not once. And I think it's, and I decided this morning that it was God being like, you, it won't work.
So you're just going to be single forever? Like, until I mature enough. Interesting. But, like, I decided this morning, like, it was a sign from the universe that, like, they're protecting me. Okay. From myself. Well, that's cool. Yeah. From yourself. Yeah, like, I just know I'll be a, like, I'll just, I won't be a good boyfriend. Can you imagine, Luis? Like, me with a boyfriend? You're 25? I'm really not selling myself here. At least you know about yourself, though. Are you self-aware? Yeah.
I try, I, I, I like awareness a lot and I like to, yeah, I like that concept. Okay. I have a question for you. What's up? And this is kind of random because it's not what we're talking about at all. Okay.
Tell me about, so you started acting, well, you started acting on Kidz Bop and stuff, like Kidz Bop commercials. You can't really call that acting, but yeah, I was in front of a camera on TV before. Then Austin Alley. Yes. And then where was the transition into R5 and the Driver era? The R5 happened pretty much when we got to LA. Yeah, okay. That was like 2009. We were like, yo, let's be in a band. We were watching like Fall Out Boy and shit, and we were like, this is sick.
let's do this. Um, meanwhile, like me and my brothers and sister were like, we were like, go around LA. We'd play anywhere. They'd let us play. We literally would like play bars sometimes. And then he'd kick us out. Cause we weren't old enough to be there. Right. You were like what? 13. I was probably 11, 11 or 12, 12, probably 12, 13. Yeah. 12, 13, somewhere in there. Um,
We'd play, like, fairs, wherever. And then, you know, meanwhile, we're, like, booking commercials, little, like, guest-starring spots on TV shows or what have you. And then all of a sudden the Disney thing happens. And I remember my dad being like, this is going to change your life. And I was like – I low-key used to watch the Disney Channel. Right. So I was, like, pretty stoked. But I didn't think I realized – you know, I'm just a kid, so I didn't really realize what was really to happen. And –
Shout out to Carol Goldwasser. I was just at her memorial the other day and she pretty much changed my life. She casting director? Yeah. So that happened and it changed my life. And then being on the Disney Channel, Hollywood Records reached out and was like, hey, we want to sign you as an artist.
And I was like, I'm in a band, bro. Yeah. Signed the band. Oh, okay. Oh, you're loyal. And it happened. And it was great. And that was R5. We had been R5 my whole life. Right. So we did that. And that was a really exciting time in my life, honestly, because we would do like a season of Austin Alley. And then I'd like go on tour with my family band. And then I'd go to Puerto Rico for a few months and film like a movie. Right. A musical movie, Teen Beach movie. Of course. And then it was like a rinse and repeat. Yeah. For like those three or four years. And was it like...
Did you like the routine of it all? Yeah, it was super exciting. Yeah. I mean, not without its frustrations because, you know, there's always something. Right. You know? Right. But there was always something to fall back on. Like, you kind of knew what you were doing. It's kind of like being, it's like your version of, like, middle school or high school. It was for sure my high school. Yeah. Yeah.
And did you... It was sick, though. I mean, yeah, that sounds amazing. Yeah, I had a great time, honestly. And you get along with your family super well, so it's super fun. Yeah, yeah. Do they ever come to set for all scenarios? All the time. All the time. Like, before I could drive, my brothers would, like, be driving me to set.
Yeah, yeah. When we filmed T-Beach Movie, they were pretty much there with me. But yeah, great times. So you were with Hollywood Records for Hour 5. Yeah. Did you ever feel restricted by them? There's definitely some interesting stories of happenings that happened with Hollywood Records. As time goes on,
And, you know, I feel like I have a little bit more. I've, like, forgiven the situations and, you know, business is business and, like, it's all fine and good. I have pretty good relationships with the majority of Hollywood Records people. But you're not with them anymore? No, no, no, no, no. There were definitely some things that, like, happened that were like, all right, like, we should probably leave. Yeah. But it was great while it lasted and I have some dear friends that work there. Are they still making music, Hollywood Records? Yeah.
I mean, people forget what's so interesting about Hollywood Records is they had Sabrina Carpenter. Yeah, they did. She didn't fulfill her. They had Selena Gomez. They had Demi Lovato. They had...
Well, that was like the Disney recording company. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But what's interesting is Sabrina Carpenter became Sabrina Carpenter post-Hollywood Records. Of course. Yeah. And same... I mean, Selena Gomez... Miley Cyrus had Party in the USA with Hollywood Records. No way! That was one of their biggest successes. But since then, you know... Right. But it's just... Yeah, you know...
They're doing really, really well. One of the bands that my brother manages called Almost Monday, they just had a number one record at Alternative Radio, which was sick. With Shallowwood Records? Yeah. Oh, okay, so they're still at it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. They're still cooking. I mean, yeah, yeah, for sure. And your brother manages bands now? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's pretty much managing...
With our other music manager, The Driver Era. Okay. And then Almost Monday and some other things. Where is The Driver Era signed? We're independent. You're independent. Yeah, we've been independent the entire time, which is interesting because I feel like it's really great for us. Yeah. Because we own the masters. Business-wise, it works for us. It's cool. But upon having these random viral moments...
It's kind of interesting how some people are like, because I'll see a random post here and there, and they're like, has anyone heard of this guy's music yet? All I see is videos of him dancing shirtless. And sometimes I'm urged to be like, yeah, it's because we're an independent band, and I'm just more famous than the band is, really. So I guess that just happens on social media. But there's definitely been a thought in the back of my head where it's like, well, maybe it is time to get back into...
The big machine thing. What do you mean? To really give it a shot. What do you mean the big machine thing? Well, dude, any. Oh, like, like sign to a label. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like any of these, like there are definitely a few outliers, like Jungle, for instance, had those, those big moments with their music videos. Right. And they had a big album. They're independent. So that was definitely inspiring. There's definitely a lot of cool examples of indie acts that are doing really, really well.
But at the end of the day, if you see an artist that's like really, really popping still today, they're probably signed. Right. And I don't, you know, a lot of people talk about the music industry. There's a lot of interesting things going on right now. There's a lot of excitement happening. And a lot of people talk about like how record labels are a dying breed, but they're still in charge. Yeah.
You said that you felt more famous than the actual band itself. Does that ever get frustrating? Everybody has a bad day. Yeah. I'm definitely susceptible to frustrations about certain things. Ultimately, I feel pretty good about where we're at. Literally, we're gearing up for our biggest tour we've ever done. R5, R5.
Wow. Congratulations. So that's pretty sick. Like we're doing well. Yeah. And we don't have to pay anybody. Right. Like we're, we own our shit. That's great. So it's cool. Yeah. Well, we do have to pay for the production and stuff. That's the difference. It's like, you know, if other artists go on tour, they get tour support from their label and all that stuff, which I mean, the live music industry is, is, is interesting right now. What do you mean? There's just certain, there's just a really interesting business right now.
In general. Yeah. There's a lot of ways we can go into that. But to answer your question, you know, sometimes, yeah, like sometimes you do think what's the next best move. Right. You know? But I'm happy with where we're at. How did the Driver era start? Essentially, we were getting out of our deal with Hollywood Records and it was time for an adjustment. And Rocky and I and Ellington actually had been really just focused on, like, we just loved being in the studio. We were like...
In there every day. Just like making tunes. And passions, like my brother, oldest brother Riker's passion was kind of going more towards cinema and directing. And that kind of world. And my sister wanted to be a vlogger. Like straight up. And so we were just like, this feels right. Like, let's me and Rocky do this thing. Ellington has actually come more back into the picture recently. But it just felt like a natural progression. Yeah. Yeah.
And do you guys write all your own music? We do. Yeah. I mean, now we're getting more open to like collaborations. Right. Because I feel like that's really, honestly, that's one of the more fun things with music is like working with people and fresh perspectives and stuff like that. Yeah.
The majority of our work is like either is like me and Rocky. Like sometimes I'll just be like at the computer, just like making a song. Right. And then I'll be like, hey, check out the song I made. And then everyone will be like, oh, that's really cool. And then they'll kind of like put their two cents in or like put a synth line in or whatever. Yeah. They'll elaborate on it. But a lot of the times the song will just start with like.
You're just like playing around. What do you, how do you play around on a, asking for a friend? You open a DAW, which is like a digital audio workplace. A DAW? That's what it stands for. In this case, I use Logic or Ableton and then I grab a guitar or a bass, put on a drum loop or something and just start playing.
Right. To start going. Yeah. Wow. Like, but it's fun for me, you know, it's like, it's like, it's like recently, like at the end of the night, instead of like turning on the TV, I've been like painting and it's just fun, bro. It's just, yeah, it's just great. It's, it's like the same thing. It's similar to that though. Like when you're talking about like,
Making music. It's like, you just have this canvas and you just see what sticks. Do you ever feel so grateful that you're like artsy? I kind of feel like everybody can be artsy. No. See, you say if you were like, I definitely think more people have an aptitude for being basic, creative. Okay. Endeavors. Right. Yeah.
Like, I wish, like, all of me wants... Oh, are you not? No, it's like all of me wants to be like, I painted last night and I read and then I pranced around and did a walk and journaled. I bet you would, though, if you didn't have a TV. TV, that's not my main problem. Oh, your phone. My phone. Ross, when I tell you, like, you could put my phone on my body, like, sew it into my body...
I would probably say yes. Wow. Like, I'm so addicted to my phone. First thing in the morning, I wake up, immediately check it for two hours. Oh, whoa. Like, I twitch without it. Is that from a productivity standpoint or is that more from a consumption standpoint? It's the instant gratification. It got really bad once I started doing TikTok in my career. You're just full on addicted. Oh, yeah. The instant gratification of, like, TikTok and social media is, like, my— You're doomed. No, I'm quite literally doomed.
do like my main addiction and then I tried Instagram reels that one night that insert TikTok got banned and I was like I think I'm gonna finally do it like I think I'm gonna go touch grass you know what I mean like I think because I hate Instagram reels I'm sorry but what's the difference the difference is it algorithm based you are a realist person aren't you I'm not
Yes, you are. You know what? I'm doing what you're doing. I'm trying to touch more grass. But you do touch grass. You lay in the grass. Oh, for sure. Yeah. I don't know what grass smells like. I don't know what grass looks like. Grass could be yellow. You got to go reintroduce yourself. You had a nice backyard out there. You had some rosemary growing. I don't know if you ever do that. You can just put your hand in it. It smells great. I do? Yeah, it's a rosemary bush. Where? Right there. It's big. How do you know it's a rosemary bush? I saw it. Did you smell it? You can pretty much tell by the look.
artsy. After this, we'll go grab a little rosemary and just go like that in your hands and you just smell it. And what does that do for you? I'm sure there's... I don't know. You ever put lavender oil on? It's relaxing. Oh, sometimes, yeah. I used to have these stuffed animals that you would heat up in the microwave. Oh, whoa. And they would smell like lavender. That kind of sounds toxic, though. It's the most. And it...
It smelled like lavender and it would put me to bed. Wow. Yeah. But I'm one for toxins, you know? Yeah, yeah, totally. Yeah. I mean, you kind of can't avoid them nowadays. You can't. They're everywhere. They're everywhere. You brought up collaborations. Yes. You infamously collaborated with Troye Sivan. I did. What was that like? It was great. Troy was actually just texting me the other day. I think he's meaning to send me something. Hopefully it's a...
cool shirt because he sent me a shirt one time and I wear it all the time. What does the shirt say? I think it's from his album. It's a great album. Yeah, it's incredible. I'm really happy to have collaborated with Troy and I hope to honestly be able to have a
a friendly relationship with him moving forward. Cause he, I think he's a great person and I love his family. Um, when we were in London, I was like, it was wonderful. Me and his mom and his dad and my brother got like a private show cause we were just at his soundcheck and, um, you know, they're doing the whole thing and it was just fantastic. Like me and me and his parents, we were just like dancing like front row. It was like super cool. Just a great moment.
Did you expect that moment to be as big as it was when you did it? Or were you surprised by the reaction? The London one? No, the music video. I would say I think I was surprised. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, for sure. It was such a moment. Yeah. That album is so good, though. Yeah, for sure. What have you been listening to these days? Whenever I'm making music...
I tend to be listening to that music a lot. Got it, got it. To try and make it as good as it can be. Yeah. You know, like you're listening to mixes, you're listening to like...
you know, structural difference, like whatever. Right. I put in a new guitar part or whatever. Right. So I listened to the, I've been listening to our new album Obsession a lot. It's my obsession, like literally. That's like, that's, I literally had it in my notes before it was ever going to be called Obsession and it just, like the note folder was called Obsession. Because of stuff, you were obsessed with it.
Yeah, I just thought it was like a cool, I don't know. I was just like, this is cool. Do you have a favorite song on the album? I guess that's hard to pick. It's super hard to pick, especially because of the way that we go about it. It's like all the songs are very personal. But, you know, there's a song, the next song that we're putting out is a song, there's two songs. One of them is called I Can't Believe She Got Away. The other one is called Don't Take the Night. And I think those are pretty cool. We're actually asking people,
which one they want. Okay. So how did, I'm going to figure out, I'm going to figure out a way to like put up a poll or something and just be like, you guys decide. It's just based on title. No, no, no. There's like little snippets online. Got it. Got it. Got it. Got it. Got it.
So that's kind of fun. That might be kind of a cool way. I think that'd be cool. I like it. She got away, right? I can't believe she got away. And then don't take the night. I really liked, I can't believe she got away off the album. It's just title. I liked this. I heard the album. Oh, you, oh, you did. Oh, cool. Yeah. You didn't think I listened to the album? I didn't know the, I didn't know. I got it.
Well, I did. That's tight, though. It's great. Amazing. I listened to it yesterday and this morning. Hell yeah. Yeah, it's awesome. Hell yeah. It's a great album. There's, yeah, more of where that came from. So I'm just going to keep doing my thing, you know? Well, you said you were listening to your own music while recording it, but before recording it, was there anything you were listening to a lot of? Well, I've been hanging out with this Chica, and she's honestly has like a lot of, she's been introducing me to a lot of music. I like that experience.
Of, you know, listening to new stuff or stuff that you maybe weren't exposed to. She was playing me some stuff from this band called The Street. Oh, I've never heard of them. UK, The Streets, sorry. But there's this amazing line in one of these songs that it's off this album called Everything is Borrowed.
And there's this song. I wish he could just come in here and do that little line for us. But he says something along the lines of, I literally need to look it up because it's really a wonderful. Hey, what's that song called? Okay, wait, wait, wait. For billions of years since the onset of time, every single one of your ancestors has survived. Every single person on your mom and dad's side has successfully looked after and passed on to you life.
What are the chances of that like? Oh, wow. I love that. Isn't that something? Yeah, that's a vibe where I'm like, that ends with me. You know what I mean? Like, that ends with me. So just like stuff like that. Like she introduced me to that song and I just think that's such a great message. I mean, it's a beautiful message. Yeah. It's one I clearly haven't heard. But it's just nice. Yeah. That's beautiful. Like it's just such a great thing to remember that like you are the byproduct of like...
billions of years of, of like life. Do you practice gratitude a lot? I like to, it's hard. It's, you know, I, these things like you have to like regularly, like that's why it's a practice. Cause you have to practice it all the time. And honestly, sometimes I fall out of practice for sure. Yeah. I'm definitely out of shape. Yeah. Yeah. There's yeah. Yeah. It's tough. It's tough. How do you practice gratitude when you do? I try to take things, um,
that I'm thinking about that are causing me subpar emotional reactions. And I try to just flip the perspective on them. Give me an example. So if something's bothering me, I'm going to, instead of being like, I hate that this situation is this way. I'll just be like, how wonderful is it that I get to do this? Or you know what I mean? It's, I love that. You just have to like, and it's work for sure. But, but specifically deciding how you want to see things. Right. Right. Yeah.
Do you, okay, well, speaking of gratitude, is there anything you're a therapist about? I like that a lot. Thank you. Is that, is that therapist, therapist, therapist? Therapist. Like, what are you angry about? Like, I'm angry about my morning nausea. What about your morning nausea? Morning nausea. I have it every single morning. I've had it every single morning since high school and I get really nauseous. Every single morning? Every single morning. You're going to throw up? Like, I feel like I am. Yeah. Does that happen when you intermittent fast? No, it happens because I get anxious.
And I get anxious via Naja. It's probably because you're spending two hours on your phone every morning, dude. Every morning. My screen time is 13, 14 hours a day. Yeah, you should go touch some grass. I should go, like, be the grass. Yeah, for sure. Have you ever just, like, gone to a national park for a few days? A what?
Like Yosemite. Dude, Yosemite is one of the most beautiful places in America. And it's like five hours from here. What would I do there? You literally should leave your phone somewhere else. I'm just letting you know. Dude, no, literally, you're going to come back and you're going to be like, oh my God, life is like chill. I think you're overestimated.
It might take a few days for you. But if you're waking up nauseous, though, don't you want to solve those symptoms? Yeah. Maybe I should go to Yosemite. No, I'm telling you, it'll take your breath away. Would you come with me? I've been dying to go to Yosemite. That's why I bring it up. Should we go to Yosemite? I'm so down. Are you serious? Yeah. We get a little sprinter van and we'll go up there for like five days. Okay. And have a fire every night. Have you ever just sat by a fire in the woods with some close friends?
It's literally therapy. No, no, I'm sure. That's just like not what my close friends and I do. You should try it. I'm telling you. No, I'll do it. It's like where we come from. It's like where the Homo sapien congregate, like where we originally congregated around a fire. No, I'm like in awe. It's like, it's like part of our DNA. Right. It's like the original lunch table. A hundred percent. Right.
Okay, so I will go to Yosemite, but only if you go with me. I can do that for you. Would you really? Honestly, I've been looking for an excuse to go to Yosemite. Here's my only problem. Okay. I've got to go on tour in March. Me too, yeah. You're also going on tour in March. So we're both going to be on tour. But April, Yosemite. April, Yosemite. Well, I've got to do some more touring then. Never mind about April then. It's fine. But they're like weekend college shows, so maybe I can make it work. I want to go to Yosemite with you. Are you on tour in June too? Um...
Yeah. That's wild. We have the same touring schedule. I know. I think we should meet up. I wonder if we... I bet you we do overlap. There has to be at least... Are you in the States the whole time? The whole time. There's got to be at least one. I think you'd really like a show if you came to it. I want to go to one of your shows. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would love to. I'd love to. That's got to be so scary doing stand-up. I think that's got to be one of the most... It's not scary just because... It was scary at first and then...
So my... Okay, stand-up is really, really scary when you have nothing to show for it behind you. So, like, I do, like, a presentation-type stand-up. So I'll show photos that go along with my story or videos or text or, like, something that really help...
Kind of with just like the comedic timing of it all because like I'll press it like I'll press like the change and it'll work with the joke. But when you're just like talking and you have to just be funny and there's nothing behind you and you're just like kind of like that's real. That's real. That's really hard.
That sounds terrifying. You guys, I did it. I worked out alone today without anybody else, just me. Usually I have to take a class or be with a trainer, but it was just me and my aloe moves today, okay? And I had the best workout of my life. I felt amazing.
amazing after i was so happy and i did a hit class with weights in the hotel gym and i am always one that when i get out of my routine of being home i like can't work out it's like sometimes i'll do a class here and there but now that i've like done aloe moves and i know that it literally feels exactly like i do in the gym i'm gonna do this every day i seriously felt so amazing i was on my own pace
but I was being helped by the app and the instructor on the app and it felt like I was right back in the alo gym which I actually really really do miss a lot the past few weeks it's been hard for me to figure out my personal wellness routine I wake up late I'm in a different city it's just it's hard to like really have a
workout schedule, but Allo Moves has made it so easy and it's really like helped me hold myself accountable. And I get to see my favorite trainers who I miss so much. Laura, I love you. Louie, I love you. Gio, I love you. Steph, I love you. Reset your personal wellness routine with Allo Moves. Go to allomoves.com right now and use code THERAPIST for an exclusive 30-day free trial and 20% off an annual membership. That's allomoves.com, code THERAPIST. allomoves.com, code THERAPIST.
Thank you, Alo Moves, for sponsoring today's episode. I love you guys. This episode of Therapist is brought to you by Booking.com. Booking. Yeah! We are now in Oklahoma City. And once again, we had no hotel booked when we got here. So we went on Booking.com and we found the Fortson Hotel. It was amazing. We wanted a gym and we wanted a steam room. And...
Somehow we actually did get both. So that was amazing. But booking.com made it really easy to put in the things we wanted to
to make sure that we found the hotel that was right for us, even though we were doing it last minute. I'm usually one to panic when we don't have something booked, but because I really do actually rely on booking.com and I trust that it will work, I had no worries at all. And we ended up at an incredible hotel that does resemble Severance slightly. They have a huge variety of options from hotels to vacation rentals. I know that I will always find exactly what I'm looking for. You also aren't just able to book a hotel on there. You can book a
car on there and honestly whatever else you need to plan like the perfect vacation or the perfect trip booking.com really does just make it really easy i'm honestly so happy they became a sponsor of the show right before tour because it has been super super super helpful and really awesome and now i used to panic when we would have nowhere books and we'd have to google everything and go on all these different sites but now we just want booking.com and we put in what we need and we find a hotel
really really quickly and it's the easiest thing in the world find exactly what you're booking for on booking.com booking.yeah thank you booking.com for sponsoring today's episode I'll see you guys in the next city okay well you touch a lot of grass so are you watching anything um we I literally just threw on an episode of this show called the empress last night what's that about it's like this German show it's like one of those like my mom and my sister were like you guys gotta watch this so I was like alright I'll turn it on
But it's like one of those like renaissance like dramas. Oh, time period? Time period. I can't do it. Oh, I actually kind of like those. Really? Okay, I'm sorry. Yeah, I'm like, I don't know why, but like for some reason I do kind of like those like romantic drama. Where is it takes place in like what, ancient Germany? I think it's Austria. Oh, got it, got it, got it, got it. So speaking of German shows, have you ever seen the show Dark? No.
Is that those Stranger Things one? Yes. I watched like an episode or two. No, you have to stick with it. You have to stick with it. I've heard amazing things. It is the best show besides Girls on HBO. It is the best show I've ever, ever, ever seen in my entire life. Ever. And you would love it. Okay. I know you would love it. Okay, cool. What was I going to say? You never told me what you were a therapist about. Oh, I don't know if I am best about anything. I mean, you know... It can be small.
There's a concept on, I'm really not trying to promote what I'm, I mean, I put a lot of work into this stuff and it is a reflection of my life. So it just makes sense for me to talk about it. But there's a song on this record called Better. And that is a concept, you know, is on my brain a lot. And honestly, I probably could relax a bit about, but, you know, there's this concept of like self-betterment.
I can't say that I get pissed about it, but that's just the first thing I think of. Like you get pissed that you're not better at something than you want to be? No, I just get kind of competitive with myself, I guess. Yeah, ways in which I could be better, I guess. But honestly, I'm a pretty cool cucumber. Things are going well. I really try to put my focus on things that I deem to be important.
Which I think are, you know, like relationships, getting out in nature and like, right. Like, like a lot. You know what I mean? I really try to. I really try. I try to at least. And I try to be an example of that for people, other people in my family, too, because I feel like especially living in America, living in this like capitalist society, a lot of people are hell bent on like achievement and working.
Which is good. And I also feel that too. That's part of the better conversation. Where's the balance in there? I can't say that I'm pissed about anything though. That might be annoying. No, it's not annoying at all. I aspire to be like that one day. Well, I just feel like at a certain point you just got to do your best and people are going to do what people are going to do. Oh, well you've gone through your Saturn return. That's why you're speaking like this.
Saturn is my power planet. Yep. Well, you've gone through its return. Is that, that was like the big thing that was happening recently. I saw that. Well, it happens when you're 20, correct me if I'm wrong, 27 to 30.
And it's just like your life starts – I don't know, actually. I'm sorry. I do know what you're talking about, though. I've read a little bit about this. It's like your life starts to make sense and you start to accept the things you can't control and things start to come into the clearer picture. I'm also just making stuff up as I go kind of based on the vibe of what I think it is. Sure. There's always a layer of wanting –
things you know there's always desire it's always it's just a human thing i think yeah things are things are going well you know knock on your head three times i'm sorry no knock three oh you knock three yeah i get really superstitious oh really you can't like drink is that why there's a ladder in your in your living room what they're like oh i guess you can't walk under that
Wait, walking under that is bad luck. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe that's symbolic though because you can't walk under the ladder that's in your living room. Love that. You know what I'm saying? Love whatever just happened. I'm going to go to bed with that. I'm going to take that with me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. You just changed my day. What are you superstitious about? Everything.
Like you can't like put on like chapstick and counterclockwise or something? Well, you know, I didn't think of that until now. Oh, shit. So now I have. I'm just introducing new superstitions for you. I'm very superstitious about jinxing things. So I can't say, well, I'm very about OCD. So I can't say like something is going to happen because
because then the opposite will happen. OCD is the one where you need everything in order? No. OCD is, well, it can be. But OCD is also, it's just like rituals. So I used to... I might have some of that. I used to have to look in the mirror ten times before I went to bed and smile. Oh, whoa. It was like a horror movie. That's a little reminiscent of Smile. Yes. Have you seen Smile? I actually really like that movie. I love that movie. You like two or one better. I think I liked two.
I preferred two as well. Because I just liked the... I liked how they made the whole, like, fame experience with... Like, I don't know. Like, that was just such an interesting...
Well, I just thought it was so cool because, like, as a famous person, her whole thing was to always smile. Yeah. And then it, like, kind of became her demise. Mm-hmm. Oh, my gosh. The sequence with the dancers. Yeah, yeah. Was really, really cool. And then, like, the final scene, I thought, was, like, epic. Oh, my gosh, yeah. Honestly, I was a big fan of that. And by the way, I was, like...
hooting and hollering the whole movie yeah it's a funny because it's like no i mean no i mean like scared like oh oh really oh for sure dude do you get scared easily yeah i mean in real life like if we go to like horror nights i'm like i'm pretty unfazed now when i was younger i used to be pretty phased but when i'm like in the situation it's and it's like i'm like looking at this random dude in pig max i'm like i'm not really scared of you right but when it's
When you can really get into the imagination, then it can affect me, I think. What movies have you seen recently? Smile 2 was one of them, actually. Have you seen any of the Oscar noms? I saw A Complete Unknown. I loved that one. That was great. Yeah.
I think that was it. Have you seen it? You have to see Anora. Oh, really? It's the best one. Really? I don't know if that's the popular or unpopular opinion, but that was my favorite one that I've seen so far. Okay. It's about a stripper. Oh, my gosh. Is Kiernan Shipka in that? Are you sure? Kiernan Shipka is in a movie about at least burlesque. No. So Anora is about a stripper that falls in love with a Russian oligarch's son. Fun. It is, and then it's not. And it's just so – have you seen The Florida Project? No.
Is that, I think maybe. It's the one where they live in the motel outside of Disney World. That sounds familiar, but I can't really remember. It's the same director who did that. Okay. And he's amazing. Okay, cool. And there's this actress named Mikey Madison who's the lead role in Anora, and she won the BAFTA last night. Wow. Yeah. Wow. I love her. No way. Yeah, she's awesome. You would really, really like it. Okay, cool. Are you watching the season of White Lotus? Yes.
I've watched the two seasons before it, so I do want to check in. You know, I've never seen season two. Really? Yeah. I thought season two was fantastic. Everyone says it's better than season one. I think maybe. Yeah. Like season one definitely had more of like a shock value because I feel like it was the introduction to the show. So everyone's like, what is this? Right.
But season two, like, really was good. I know. And I just felt like I, like, missed it. You know, when, like, someone's, like, everyone's, like, ten episodes in. You're like, I'm just, I'm on. It was like, I'm off the train now. Yeah, I feel that. But Mike White, the creator, I really adore. Yeah, he's been, like...
He's been in the industry forever. Has he ever created a show before? I want to say he created this show called Enlightened with Laura Dern. It's great. It's all about capitalism and the corporate world. He has this really beautiful monologue in it.
called The Ghost is Seen, and it's one of the most beautiful... Does anyone know what I'm talking about? No. It's really moving. I'll send it to you after this. It's one of the most moving television monologues. Basically, his character in the show is very introverted and very sad, and he has this really moving monologue, and it's just a great show. Season two of Enlightened is one of the best seasons of television I've ever seen. Is it on HBO? Yeah, it's max.
I might be lying, but I don't think I'm lying. And it's really, really, really good. Well, Lauren Dern is just fantastic. How do you even pick what to watch nowadays, though? Honestly. I'll tell you. Oh, no, I, yeah, you know, for sure. I do actually want to watch that. There's this new show called Paradise. Okay. I love a government thriller. Mm.
Give me a government thriller. I'm obsessed with Paradise right now. It's on Hulu and it's just an easy one. Wow. It's easy. It's great. Where do you find the time? Honestly. Well, I don't connect with nature, so I use that time instead to watch television. Can I use the restroom real quick? Please. I'm going to be right back. I'm going to hit my butt.
Oh my gosh. Thank you. Because now I can think straight. How amazing does peeing feel? It's... I don't know. Do you have that where, like, if you really have to pee, it's just a big old distraction? You can't think about... I wish you told me sooner. I know. Same. But it's okay. It wasn't that bad. I'm present. We're present? Yeah, I'm with you. I'm with you. I see you. We see each other. I like how they say that in the Avatar movies. Oh, they do? Like, I see you. You know, talk about... It's such a nice...
Talk about a movie that I thought would get more attention and didn't. The Way of Water? The Way of Water. Never saw it. Oh, really? I saw the original Avatar maybe four times, and it also wasn't by choice. It was one of those movies where it was like, you have to go because it's about to break the record for highest grossing film in the world, so you just have to go again and again and again and again. It's like, why? Oh, seriously? Yeah, and I didn't love it. Huh. Why'd you want it to break the record then? I don't know. I think it was just part of a movement. Oh, okay. But the third one's going to be, have you seen Dune?
I actually really like Dune. I heard Dune's amazing. I really like Dune 2. Dune 1, I was a little bit like, I don't know if I get it. And then I saw Dune 2 and I was like, oh, this is sick. So, yeah, but peeing is the best feeling in the entire... I also think I got some clarity about the therapist thing, about the whole better conversation. It's like, I'm sick of learning... Okay, if we want to talk about being pissed about something... Please. I'm sick of learning the same thing over and over and over again and not...
Getting it. Implementing the thing that I know that I should know. Give me an example. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, no, I know what you're saying. Just saying no to certain things or like. Right. Are you a yes man? You say yes to everything? I'm reasonable. Okay. But, but I need, but, but, you know, I know I just, or like trusting yourself a little bit more, trusting your intuition a little bit more, if you will.
um just little things like that your intuition's always right 100 but i think for every single time i've gone against that's a big one every single time i've gone against my intuition i'm just like oh i knew this i know i knew but sometimes now i'm here and i'm annoyed sorry i just interrupted you and i'm feeling super bad about you're all good okay i feel like that's a big part of conversation like yeah it is you know i know i because i you know people i i can do that same thing where i'm like oh what the heck like you interrupted me or whatever it's like
Well, I just feel bad because you're my guest and I probably shouldn't be interrupting you is what she says to me all the time. But it just it comes out just means I'm invested and I'm listening. Yeah. And you got something to say. Yeah. Yeah. And what I was going to say was when you have anxiety, oftentimes your anxiety can get mixed up with your intuition. So you don't know which one to listen to.
Yeah, that would be concerning. It is super concerning. Well, does smoking weed? Made it so much better without it. Oh, okay. That's what I was going to say. It probably would make that confusing. I was super paranoid. I was always questioning everything. I have this comedy album called Puss in Poems. Amazing. Yeah, and I didn't want to put it out every time I smoked. And I was like, well, shit. And I was like, it's too late. I've made it. So I've made the album. So I can't even have these thoughts because they're useless to me.
list to me. The album's coming out. Yep. That's, that's definitely tough. Yeah. Like letting something go in the artist realm. Like that's, I, yeah, I feel like every, the artists that I know at least always have this weird love hate thing about putting something out into the world. Right. Cause they're like, I do love this thing and I put all this energy and concentration and time into this project. Are people going to get it?
what's the reaction going to be? It's like this vulnerable exchange. You know, it's tough. Is your hair naturally blonde? For the most part, but I sometimes highlight it. Okay, cool. Yeah. If I'm like surfing and like in the water. You surf? I can. I can't say I'm like a...
avid surfer but if if my lifestyle is like beach oriented then my hair will just kind of bleach itself were you serious about yosemite yeah i could i could get down for that like we don't need to do five days we could do like two nights yeah yeah and honest but you have but you have to like no i'll leave my phone okay and like i'll go on hikes and stuff what and we're building a fire okay and we're gonna cook on the fire probably you know cook what
What do you like to eat? We could, like, roast some veggies. Okay, that sounds good. Yeah, are you a vegetarian? No. Do you have any— Are you? No, but I sometimes will eat vegetarian meals. Okay, do we bring our own food, or do we need to, like, catch it in the wild? We'll, like, pull up to a Whole Foods before we go. Oh! Okay, we're good. And we'll do bougie version. Okay.
Well, what's not bougie version? Not bougie version would be like we're going to water fast the whole time. No. Why would that ever be enjoyable? How do you hike on a water fast? It's like a cleansing experience. It's just like full-blown cleanse vibes. Okay. So I can't – no phone.
Can I bring like a camera to record my experience? No, you can bring your phone, but I'm saying like. No, no, no. If I'm doing this. When we go, when we're sitting by the fire or something, just leave it in the car. No, no, no, no. The phone can't come. I'm telling you right now. If the phone's in the car, the phone's with me. All of a sudden we're getting there and it's like on your forearm. Yeah, it's on my forearm. It's in my head. Like if I'm coming with you to Yosemite, the phone's staying home, but I am bringing a little camera just to remember our experience. Yeah. I mean, you probably would go through like a withdrawal. I do. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. I mean, and you go through withdrawal with anything. You go through withdrawal with sugar. What? Like anything that you're used to in your life, you will go through some sort of withdrawal probably. Like even the gym, honestly. Oh, I don't know if I have that. If you are regularly going to the gym and say you get injured. Yeah. For sure, you're going to be like, oh man, I just want those endorphins that my muscles excrete when I lift heavy things. You know what I'm saying?
I can see the vision. Okay. But I don't know if for me missing the gym would cause me. Well, I'm feeling that right now low key because I injured myself playing hockey. Oh, you did? I did. I did kind of. How many sports do you play? Hockey is like my main sport. Really? Ice hockey, yeah. Oh, because you grew up in Colorado. Well, you didn't grow up in Colorado. You kind of grew up here. I kind of grew up here. So when were you playing hockey? I started when I was three. What? Yeah. Is that legal?
It's just like pond hockey. Like you're just like out on the lake in the mountains of Colorado and we're just like playing hockey. Like on skates? Yeah, yeah. Do you ski? I ski and snowboard a little bit, yeah. Oh, okay. I'm pretty good at skiing. I just learned how to ski for the first time. Oh, really? Where'd you go? Like Mammoth? No, France. Oh, wow. Yeah. I like it. Yeah, it was really cool. Wow. And it was beautiful and I was like, I skied every day. It was really good for my mental health. Yeah, yeah. Totally. Yeah.
Can't check your phone when you're skiing. Trust. Wait, one second. I found a way. Nice. I guess the chairlift. I didn't really advance to the chairlift until the last day, but my ski instructor is named Adrian. You would love him. He has a zip line course in Mallorca. Whoa. Yeah.
Wow. He like owns it? So half the year he spends on his zip line course in Mallorca and then the other half he spends in Courchevel, France. Wow. It's like that sounds like a nice life. That sounds great. Yeah. And he just skis but he would have to ski backwards while I skied forward holding on to him because I would fall. That's kind of cute. It was really cute. We were best friends. That's tight. We were best friends by the end of it. I love skiing for that though. You're just like on the mountain.
It's beautiful. And you're out in nature. It's just like, it's vibes. But hockey's your favorite? Yeah, hockey gives me, yeah, hockey is therapeutic. Do you go to therapy? I have. Okay. But I don't currently. Well, why? But low-key, it's like, she's so expensive. Yeah, yeah. And I don't know if I necessarily, here's the thing. I see that it would be beneficial for sure. I don't think I necessarily need it.
you need it either, honestly. You're really in touch with nature, yourself. Yeah. And I think too, like, a lot of my core relationships can help me with what I need at this time in my life. So I can rely on them for that, which is a blessing for sure. Are you scared to turn 30? You know what? I can feel that there's a real transition happening in my life. There's definitely like, there's definitely something to it.
But I don't think I'm scared, no. I think recently, especially, I've been more consistently joyful. Yeah, just no more. Physically, I feel really good and strong. Well, you are. That would make sense. You know what I mean? Yeah, I feel like I have a better idea of what matters and...
Yeah, I just feel like I got a good grasp of things right now. So I think it's a good thing. Yeah. I think, you know, it's like you're approaching prime. So it's like, I don't think I'm there yet. I guess what I'm saying. Okay, well. Like, you know. I know, kind of. You're 25. So you got five years to your 30. Don't remind me. I'm telling you, it's not that scary. Well, 30s apparently are the new 20s, so I'll take it. For sure. Yeah.
What do you have there? My tummy what's wrongs. Oh. This one's messy. Oh, boy. I need help. I literally know what to prescribe. Sorry. I'm abroad right now, and I keep seeing my best friend and boyfriend back at home posting pictures really close to each other. There is a rumor that they are hooking up. What do I do? Well, you seem to think you had the remedy. There is a movie with Emma Roberts called Wild Child. Okay. And do you know? You should watch that movie. And in the movie...
Her best, she goes abroad. Yeah, and her best friend gets her with a lover. And her boyfriend, hook up and cheat on her. So I think your boyfriend is cheating on you with your best friend. That's so tough. And I don't mean to be the bearer of bad news, but in this case, I will be. I think it's the truth. Dang. Because normally when I... I'm going to go the opposite route. Like, I wouldn't just put yourself through unnecessarily pain and, you know, emotional turmoil.
On an assumption. I don't think that's a wise decision to make. For sure. So if I were you, I think for yourself, you're probably best off thinking. Positive. You know, whatever your situation is. I love this person and I trust this person. And, you know, I'm going to do my best to have faith in the situationship until I'm proven wrong. That seems to be the more comfortable position.
version for that person personally. 100%. So what you have to do is you have to get a friend that is a spy. Yeah. And you have to hire a P.I. dude. And you have to get this friend. Oh, that's so maybe follow your boyfriend's car one day or follow that girl's car. And just if you do that, you're going to find what you're looking for, though. But then don't you? Wouldn't you rather find it sooner rather than later? Well, I mean, but also it's like it's like they could just be innocently hanging out platonically. They're probably not.
You don't think so? No, I don't. I've seen Wild Child one too many times. Oh, it's so tough because there's not a lot of context in the question. Right. I wish I knew how long you guys have been dating. Right. I wish I would have known why your best friend and your boyfriend are hanging out. So maybe we have this as a call to action for the pussies. Maybe a little more context is necessary. Potentially, because there's a lot of... I think if you ask the pussies for more context, they'll give it to you. We need more context. Good luck. Okay, cool.
That wasn't like the PSA I was hoping for, but it was the PSA I got. Okay. Sorry. No, it's okay. My sister is 35 and dating a 22-year-old. It would be fine, but he is a freak. He is in love with playing disc golf and spits in a can 24-7. One time he overheard me talking about his hideous neon yellow jacket, and now it is awkward. I love this girl. I've told her I don't like him, but she continues to bring him around all the time. What should I do?
It's not your problem. That's the worst. That's such an awkward situation to be in. So you do gossip? Well, after hockey, I might be like, dude, this one player is not a smart player. I'll be like, what is with his breakup? Whatever. And then he might be in the locker room next door, and I'll go to shower, and I'm like, oh, he heard everything I said. So that definitely doesn't feel great. But there's nothing you can do. Gossip is human nature. And you didn't like his hideous neon yellow jacket.
I thought it was the other way around. He didn't like her hideous yellow jacket. No, no. If she did not like her neon jacket, it would be war. He's done. But she does not like his neon jacket. I don't think jackets are meant to be neon yellow unless it's a raincoat. That is definitely a loud color. It's a loud color and it's for raincoats. I actually bought a neon, not neon, a very bright yellow jacket because the main character in Dark...
I thought you were going to say yellow jackets. No, but also that. And it finally rained the other day and I pranced around in my yellow rain jacket and I felt like Curious George. Nice. Yeah. Nice. I like Curious George. Yeah. So I would prescribe Curious George. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure. Also, maybe just buy him a jacket. No. But you don't like him. You just like him. Tell your sister to buy him a jacket. Yeah. Sometimes girls do have to be like, wear this, honey. Has that ever happened to you?
You're pretty stylish. I like style. I like fashion. But I also like to play around. I'm down to experiment. If someone's like, oh, try this on. I'll be like, okay, I'll see if it's cool. Right. Okay, cool. Because also my life, think about my life. Since I was 10 years old, I was in situations where people were telling me what to wear.
Interesting. So when did you, I'm pretty like, I'm pretty used to that. So when did you gain your autonomy back over picking out what you wore? I couldn't tell you. I don't really know. It was probably not an overnight thing. It was probably a gradual like, Oh, this is actually fun and I enjoy this process.
Do you appreciate it now you think more than you would if you, like, always had the option? Like, do you have, like, a special appreciation for, like, picking out your clothes because there was a time period where you couldn't? I mean, I wouldn't say that. That's probably – there's probably a layer of that, sure. But mostly, honestly, if I'm going out, sometimes I have to negotiate whether I want to look stylish and, like, pop out or if I want to be incognito and, like, not –
And be like kind of hidden so I don't have to worry about being approached by people. Sometimes. Sometimes. That's just the vibe. Do you like being approached by people? I have a strange relationship with fame, to be honest with you. Tell me about it. I definitely like ideas of normalcy. But I also really like making people feel good. And I like what I do.
So it's a dichotomy for me. Well, you don't really remember life before it, do you? Not really. No, I didn't really have a... Well, I do. Yeah, I do. Right. But it happened pretty early on for me. Do you think you want to do this forever? Do you think you want to kind of aspire for some normalcy at some point in your life?
Well, that's what's interesting about my life is it is surrounded by normalcy to a large extent. Having a big family. Right, right, right. Going to hockey. Like, these guys, like, you know, it is a relatively normal experience. I'm not out here, you know, hanging out with a bunch of famous people, like, doing, like, these. I have, there's moments where I do really...
extraordinary things or I get to go to really extraordinary events and such that's really exciting and fun. Or like, for instance, I get to go on tour for some months. But when I'm home, it's like it feels relatively normal and I feel like that juxtaposition sometimes is kind of interesting to navigate because I low-key forget.
And then all of a sudden I'm in like some random airport or something. And then there's like all these people wanting to take a picture of me. And I'm like, oh yeah. And that's how you remember. Sometimes. Cause I'm not like, I'm not like over here, like thinking about it. I'm not one of those people that like really gets high on the idea. I feel like some people do. I don't know if I, that's not me. Um, I even, I honestly was recently looking into the psychology of attention seeking recently. Please tell me what you found. Just that it's natural. Love to hear it. And, uh, you know, uh,
I honestly could do more on that. But I'm very, I love attention. Okay. Yeah. Like to my core. If I could eat it for dinner, like that's a fast I would do. Well, I feel like most people do. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Most people do. I do. I love it. It's interesting. My best friend is a Capricorn and she like lives off attention as well. Really? So I'm a Capricorn and I don't know if I live off attention. I don't think you do.
Yeah. It might be because I already, like, I've gotten a lot of it in strange ways. And you get it on stage, too. I get it on, yeah. I don't know. It's definitely something that I think about, though.
Because in order to do what I do, especially nowadays with social media, a lot of it's like, look at me, look at me. And I don't really get off on that. Yeah. But do you ever miss it when you don't have it for a minute? Like when you're not touring or you're not putting out music or there's just like a moment of silence? Are you like, damn, I kind of miss the attention that comes with that? It's not from attention, though. I don't get like, oh, I need attention. It's like I need to grow and move forward.
That's the feeling that I get. Well, I don't personally know what you mean no, but I can see how that's probably the healthy way to think. Okay. Yeah.
Help. I feel like I'm constantly putting more effort into my relationships and friendships, and I don't know how to fix it. I can't just drop all my friends, but it's incredibly draining, and I'm just so over it. Have you ever been in a situation where you put more effort in? Well, I mean, I feel like, yeah. I mean, not in like a friendship situation, though. Okay. Have you ever had a friendship breakup? No. Never? I don't think I have. No. Have you? Yeah. Yeah.
For what reason? I was pretty crazy. Was it like, was it like your habits are getting, like, I can't connect with you because you're high? No, no. Oh, you were working together. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no. We just weren't working as friends. It was younger. Like I just, I've had plenty of friendship breakups. Oh, interesting. Yeah, no. And in my experience, it's like, if we're not vibing, then we just won't hang out. That's it for you? I just feel like there's just a natural separation. Like it doesn't, I don't know.
I don't, I've never felt the need to be like, I'm going to stop hanging out with you. Okay. You know what I'm saying? I'll go to Yosemite. I'll just be like, we just don't hit each other up anymore. I'll go to Yosemite, but you know what you need to do for me then? What? Real housewives of New York. Okay. And you need to sit with me. We'll binge watch it in the van. You need to sit with me and you need to watch, I want to say the entirety of, when is Jill and Bethany's breakup? Season three, right?
You want me to watch three seasons of Red Hot TV? No, no, no, no, no, no. We can just start with... Oh, no. Or we can watch... You know what? You know what? We are going to watch Salt Lake City. Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. Is there a Real Housewives of in every city? Salt Lake City, Atlanta, New York, New Jersey, Potomac.
Beverly Hills. And you've seen them all. I've seen most of them, yeah. I'm not in its entirety. There used to be Dallas. I think that was like one season. There was Dubai. There's Miami. Oh my goodness. Orange County. Wow. And I think that's it.
That's impressive that you know that even, honestly. Really? I feel like, yeah. Thank you. You're like a marathon watcher. I mean, Housewives will change your life. Like, I know you think like, oh, this is so not me. But like, a lot of men love Housewives. I can get down with a little bit of reality TV. No, no, no, no. You don't understand this. You watch Housewives? It's just like totally petty, huh? No, it...
is an examination of the human psyche. It's Marvel for gay people. It's literally like it will change every part of your being. Like, I don't know how to describe how amazing this show is. Wow. There are these two best friends, Lisa and Meredith. Oh,
Right? Okay. And they are like, oh, well, actually, you know what? This isn't going to hook you. This will hook you. There is this woman named Jen Shaw. Okay? This is like what really, really – like I always watched Housewives as a kid. This really dove me in. She was committing fraud against the elderly. She gets arrested by the FBI on camera. They're filming. And she gets arrested in a raid of a house.
on the sprinter van while they are filming. So wait, if a SWAT team pulls up and they raid an establishment, why wouldn't they also be like, stop filming? Because from my experience or my understanding, when the raid is happening, they want everyone cooperating. The devil works hard, but Bravo works harder.
You're kidding. They have like hidden... Oh, because they... Oh. So like Jen Shah, she gets a call. That's wild. And she's like, uh-huh, uh-huh. And then she leaves the Sprinter van. Five minutes later, an entire swarm of FBI agents show up. And they're like, where the fuck did Jen Shah go? And everyone's like, wait, she just left. And they're like, she's literally under arrest. And she is in jail now. Wow. And... Yeah, fraud's no joke. No, fraud is no joke. And... But anyway...
What I was going to say was the friendship breakup I was thinking about was Lisa and Meredith because there was a moment where Lisa forgot to take her mic off. And she's talking shit. You want to hear it? You got to be kidding me. I'm done with her. I'm not a whore and I don't cheat on my husband. I'm in a dumb family that poses. Why don't you own a house? Wait, you can't. Because your husband changes jobs every five minutes? Meredith is a piece of shit.
So, so wait, that was her friend. Best friend. Best friend.
That doesn't seem very friendly at all. You are missing out, Ross. Oh my God. Like, seriously? I definitely hope... You're my friend, and I probably wouldn't want to be your friend either. I get it. Oh, I thought you were saying I'm your friend. No, I'm saying if someone says that about you, they're not your friend. Am I your friend? Yeah, yeah, for sure. You wouldn't say that about me, right? I would... No! No, I would never say that about you, but I would say you were my friend. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry, I got the two confused. Oh, okay. No, no, no. That's...
Outrageous. It's outrageous, right? For sure. But good TV now. 100%. We'll watch. This pains me to say, but I've been dating the same guy for the past. Wait, did we ever answer the last one? Oh, no. What was it? What was it? Oh, it was her friends. Oh, she puts too much effort in. Oh, you got to let them, as Mel Robbins would say. Let them.
Let them go? No, like let them do their thing and, you know. Yeah, yeah, for sure. For sure. And like, we'll come to you, we'll come to you. Stop over putting in time. Yep, 100%. Let them. Focus on yourself a little bit.
Yeah. Put some love into yourself. Yeah. Oh, love that energy. This pains me to say, but I've been dating the same guy for the past five years and he's not the best at showing affection to me. That pains you to say that you've been in a committed relationship? Yeah, they got it. That sucks. Break up. And I've been feeling super weird about it. How do I tell my boyfriend I need more effort? I think you break up. Yeah, I mean, I don't want to say break up, but you can't expect people to change.
I mean, I definitely think people grow. I definitely think people learn. And I think that's through experience. And I think, unfortunately, people will be better lovers after heartbreak. Really? As sad as that is. Did you find that true for yourself? I learned a lot. I definitely learned a lot, for sure. But you haven't been heartbroken. No, never. Have you ever been in love? No, never. Really? I'm so excited for you. I've been infatuated. Never in love.
Sure. I'm excited for myself too. I just, I don't know. As I said, I think God is like not yet, sweet cheeks. Yeah, maybe not yet, but maybe at some point though. I just think like, Louise, imagine me heartbroken. Oh no.
I'm very dramatic. Is that like broken TVs? Oh, no, but you're also suspicious or superstitious. Superstitious, that's the word I meant to say. Yeah. So you, yeah, you wouldn't break anything probably. No. No. That's good. No, I am very superstitious. Yeah. Do you think that has something to do with you not being in a relationship? Well, I think I think about worst case scenario. Okay. And like the second someone starts showing me affection, I'm like, goodbye. So you're an avoidant.
Yes, you're so wise. And we're back. What was that? You've never been to the club where they do that? I think we're going to different clubs. I think you're going to cooler clubs than I'm going to. I don't know. Honestly, I love like a dive bar. I would love to go to a dive bar with you. Yeah, like you play some pool. You listen to Taylor Swift? I know some Taylor Swift songs, but I can't say I'm an avid listener. Okay, well, you know what I was thinking of. Dive bar on the east side where you at?
Is that a newer song? No, it's from Reputation, so 2017. See, I know what that record is. Did you listen to Brat at all this summer? No, not really. But Charlie XCX was at the Troye Sivan show, and obviously Troye did a whole tour with her. Right. So I kind of was like...
I probably should have said hi. We, like, crossed each other in a hall, and we were like, what's up? But, like, I probably could have introduced myself. Yeah, I think she seems like a really cool person, though. She is. She's, like, the best. That album is just life-changing. Oh, dude, it was the soundtrack of the summer. And it really, it was just, like... It was such a great moment for pop, though. It was the best moment for pop. Like, Brat, and then Short and Sweet, and then Midwest Princess. Like, that was, like, a really...
It was a great year, honestly. It was a great, great year. And then there was a Taylor album. And what else? Who else released last year? There was a million people that released. It was just a great, great year for pop. Yeah, it really was. Super fun. But you should, if you ever feel like being messy, you should listen to Brad. Okay.
Cool. I've definitely peeked at it. I've definitely listened to it. But when you say, did you listen? I'm thinking, was it on repeat? Right. It's such an album that if you're going all in, you're all in. And it's a mindset. The whole album, I think that's why it resonated so well. 100%. Because people committed to the mindset of Brat. Yeah, yeah. It was a cultural... It had cultural significance. I don't remember the last time an album really shifted culture in a way that Brat did. Well, a lot of things...
Albums, I think, do that, but just on different levels. Yeah. But I think for an album to really be successful, it has to do that to some capacity. Right. It's like Beyonce self-titled when she did, or Lemonade when she did a visual album. Like, that shifted culture in the sense that she surprise dropped it, so that brought surprise drops. People started releasing music on Thursday nights as opposed to Monday nights, I'm pretty sure, don't quote me. And, like, she kind of...
I don't know. I think she, like, at the time of that Beyonce album, it was a lot of, like, she says this, like, single, single, single, single, single, and she kind of brought back the idea of, like, a real and true album. You listen to Bon Iver? I do. He's just released, or he's announced an album, yeah. I've been listening to a lot of Bon Iver lately. I just feel like you would listen to him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think there's definitely some good stuff in that catalog for sure.
My boyfriend has this new job and I'm really proud of him. He wanted it and he deserves it. However, it's taking up a lot of time and headspace now. So much so as he forgot our anniversary this weekend. Best prescription. Like I want him to be happy but is that unacceptable? Yes, it's unacceptable. It reminds me of the Devil Wears Prada. Have you ever seen the Devil Wears Prada? I have, yeah, yeah. But not in a long time. Do you remember when she forgets his birthday? Because she's at like... Not the Met Gala but she's at some very important thing with Meryl Streep. And I think...
I think maybe a little slack can be cut his first time around. I think so too. I think if he's a loving and caring boyfriend all around, you can definitely cut some slack. For sure. But I think going forward, like, it's a priority. But I think, you know, when you're starting out a new job and it's hard, like, there is something to be said for working for yourself and not – Yeah. And, like, if that's the only issue you're having, then –
I don't think it doesn't mean he doesn't love you. I just think it means he really cares about what he's doing right now. Yeah, 100%. Also, I feel like this is another context situation where it's like, how did he react when he found out he forgot? Or like, did he make up for it?
you know, I feel like there's other factors. Like, I guess, what is she asking? She's not asking. She's asking if, if that's okay. She's just like, I'm not down. She's just wants more attention. She's just like, is this on? I want him to be happy, but is that unacceptable? I don't think it's unacceptable that he missed it. I think it's an issue. Yeah. But no relationship is clean of that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. That's what I think about that. Interesting.
And I prescribe the Devil Wears Prada. You should really watch it. Yeah, that's a good movie. I fell in love with a guy that made it clear he only wanted friends with benefits. He lives in another state and we talk all the time. He sends so many mixed signals one minute. Oh, he sends so many mixed signals. One minute he wants to be with me and the next we're just friends. Should I walk away now or get with him and hope something stems from that? Ooh. I think, uh... I think, I think ultimately...
Some self-respect is attractive. And if you just keep giving in to his whims, then he's going to keep doing the same thing. So ultimately, you're probably going to have to be like, you know what? This doesn't work for me. If it doesn't work for you, if it works for you, it works for you. Right. But if you're already like, you know what? I want a relationship. You probably got to go somewhere else. I would prescribe probably no strings attached or friends with benefits, which actually, and I've said this during the last episode, came out during the same summer. You don't know what I'm talking about. No.
That's what I prescribed. Nice. Well, that was our last Tell Me What's Wrong. That's it? I mean, there's a few more, but I just didn't do them. Dang it. Do you actually want to do more? Let me read one. Okay, read one that we haven't read yet. Okay. I have such a victim mentality and I want to be better. What's your advice for overcoming this mindset and taking control of this toxic behavior? Wow. First of all, good on you for noticing that. A victim mentality is definitely difficult to navigate.
I had one the other night. I was like really self-pitying myself after the bar one night. And I was like, damn, I'm really playing victim right now. Totally. And sometimes it's okay to play victim. Well, that's what makes it so challenging is this like when is that the accurate reasonable response? It's like when can you actually say, well, I am being treated unfairly, poorly.
I think when it overtakes your life and you're just complaining about stuff that's fixable, then that's a problem. 100%. That's what I do. So I was in the car and I was like, okay, well, I know that this victim mentality I have right now. When it's based on like, oh, that's not fair, that's a victim mentality. And that's what I was having the other night. I was like, that's not fair. And it's like, well, life isn't fair. 100%. You know what I mean? 100%. I have moments of this as well. Yeah. I definitely think it's just something you got to chip away at, right? Like you just got to like...
Try to change your thoughts into a more gratitude approach. Yeah, I think it's just about how you talk to yourself. How you talk to yourself, for sure. And how you start your mornings. How do you start your morning? Well, I'm not perfect, you know. But it's nice to be in the sun. You start every morning in the sun? I mean, I'd like to. It's probably not. I mean, I live in LA, though. So it's like, the sun's there. Do you get affected by the seasons easy?
I think everyone does. Yeah, I definitely do. For sure. Like your body has a response to it. Right. I love summer. Well, yeah, because there's a lot of sun. There's a lot of energy. Yeah.
You know, it just makes sense. I'm so excited for summer. Are you excited for summer? Yeah, I actually, yeah. Yeah, absolutely. I can't wait. What are you excited for? I'm excited for tour. I've never, to tour in the summer sounds fun. And I'm going to go to Europe for a little. And I'm going to go be messy. I have a wedding there. I'm probably going to go to Europe after my tour too. Where? I'll probably be around the western side of Europe. Should we link up? Yeah. Yeah.
Where are you going to be? I'm going to be in France in June. Okay. And then after my tour ends in July, I would like to go to Italy. Nice. Or Spain. I want to go to Italy too. I love Italy. Italy's amazing. There's so many great spots, honestly. So many great spots. Well, Ross, what did we learn today? Yeah. That's usually the response. I think we learned a lot of good things. We learned that Prada slippers are comfortable. Yes, they are.
We learned that... I learned that your loafers are also comfortable, even though they're very big on me. They're not bad. Yeah, they're very comfortable. They probably could use a little cleaning. And they also don't look bad on me. I learned that I kind of look good in loafers. Yeah, loafers are in right now, I'd say. Yeah, I'm definitely enjoying these loafers. I also learned that...
We're going to go to Yosemite. And the importance of being in the real world. And touching grass. Yeah, for sure. Also, we learned about some great shows to watch. You learned about some great shows to watch. I learned about some great shows to watch and how important Real Housewives is culturally. You will love it.
I'm sure I will. Honestly, you're going to love it. You're going to hate that you love it. I know. And I'm probably going to be like, these people are crazy. Yeah. But then you're going to start like rationalizing with them. Oh, sure. Like you're like pick a side. Yes. Always. And you're going to start being like, well, Bethany should have done this, that and the third. And like, you know, it's, you're going to love it. You're going to love it. Okay. Start with Salt Lake. Trust. Okay. And we also learned that the pussy needs to give more context.
More context would be helpful. Yeah. I really think that isn't something we can all talk about. But it's also hard because these aren't the biggest postcards in the world and we don't need a whole monologue. I don't mind it sometimes. I mean, if it's like a really good juicy story, I'm down. Yeah. I once got it. I think I've had some in the past. I'm sure. Yeah.
Well, Ross, thank you for coming on Therapist. Yeah, thanks for having me. You can listen to Ross's new album with his – he's half of the band The Driver with his brother. It's called Obsession. It's out April 11th. Yep. And he's back on tour in March. Yep. You can see him then. Yep. Do you want to say goodbye to the pussies? Bye, pussies. Bye, pussies. He's got you. He's slaying and he's shook. It's Therapist, Therapist, Therapist, Therapist.