Session 64: Motherhood with Payton Purther
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Hi pussies! Happy Friday and welcome back to Therapist. Today we have a special episode for you guys. Me and the other half of my mama tribe, Peyton, came on to talk all things motherhood in this special mama-themed therapy.

If you don't know, we have two new babies, Bradley and Justin. We gave birth a few months ago, but introduced them to the world a few weeks ago when we found them at... Well, I guess that wouldn't make sense with our birthing story, but we found them at the Beverly Glen Pharmacy, and we will get into that in the episode. I love when my best friends come on because it's just like...

We're just hanging out and you guys get to watch. I am still on tour. It is amazing. I'm having the best time. If you still don't have tickets to Live with Jake Shane, go to pastthatpuss.com and click Live with Jake Shane to see if there's a show near you. It is so much fun. There's singing. There's audience participation. It's just I have the best, best time doing this. And I want all of you guys to be able to come. But yeah, enjoy the episode, pussies. I love you.

Hi pussies! Welcome back to Therapist, and I know you guys have been waiting for this episode. Me and Pei...

It's our mama tribe and we are here with our kids, Justin and Bradley, and we are here to talk to you guys about all things mama. All things motherhood. All things motherhood and all things mom life. And our new life. And so where should we begin? Maybe... Our birth story? Our birth story. Do you want to kick us off? Yeah, so basically we went out. We went out. Yeah. And we didn't know we were pregnant. Yeah.

We didn't know we were pregnant. So we had eight martinis at the club. We had eight martinis and we were so nauseous. Like, I remember that Uber ride home and I was like holding on for dear life. He kept telling me to get out. What he kept saying? He kept saying, roll the window down. I need to pull over. I said, don't worry. I promise no one's throwing up like this happens. And I, and I promise we are not the type to throw up in an Uber. Like actually, yes, we are. Me. When? Remember when I got the Venmo request? Wait, when? You remember. Okay.

Yes. Yes, I remember that. Threw up in a guy's Uber our freshman year of college and then I woke up to a Venmo request from him. And Payne was like, I guess I threw up. I think I slept in her room that night.

Yeah, Jake did. Jake slept in my roommate's bed and I slept with the guy in my twin bed. Yeah, you did. Next to him. So we went out and we shook our ass. We obviously didn't know we were expecting. Which is super dangerous. Don't do that. Yeah, it was super dangerous. But we didn't know, so it's fine. Then we woke up the next morning and we went to Beverly Glen Deli. You got a wrap. I did.

I got a grilled cheese. We got milkshakes. Oh, those milkshakes were amazing. And mozzarella sticks. Well, you know, they were hungry. Well, we were obviously having cravings. Yeah, we were having cravings. We got, we got, oh, the, were the mod sticks good? Yeah. They always are, no? Yeah. Right? Right? You don't like them? I thought our meal at Beverly Glen Deli that following week with Julia was the best. I wasn't there. Yes, no. No. Oh my God, it was amazing. Where was I? It was amazing. You were in San Francisco. Yeah.

You were in San Francisco. Then we went to the- Having family time. You were having FT. You were babysitting. I was babysitting, doing a bad job at it. Yeah, you did. But- You left the kids home alone. Well, Justin just slept- Yeah, I'm putting you on blast. Well, Justin just slept for four days while you were in Milan. Bradley just slept for three and a half days while you were in Aspen. Gagged you, huh? A little bit, huh? So we went to the Beverly Glen Pharmacy.

Yeah, next door. And we saw... Which is the best pharmacy ever. Ever. It's the best pharmacy ever. They have jelly cats. They have... Anything you could ever want. Anything you could ever want, including children. So we were looking in all the aisles, and Jake took a look at the baby doll section. Well, I don't want to call it a baby doll section, because they're not baby dolls. Jake took a look in the hospital aisle. Yeah, it was the hospital aisle. And we fell in love with Bradley and Justin. It was love at first sight. And we discovered we were expecting. Yeah.

It was love at first sight. We bought them in their perfect little boxes. Bradley came with a, Justin came with a whale. Did Bradley come with anything? Bradley came with a hat, but he lost it. Bradley lost his hat early on. He's fussy. He's way more fussy than Justin. Yeah. Which makes sense. Then we brought them, well, we couldn't find a babysitter because we gave birth so last minute. So we went to a play that night. Yeah, we didn't have a nanny. We didn't have a night nurse. And then we brought the kids to Nobu.

Well, they were hungry. It was their first sushi. Yeah. Very important to us. We gave them rice and we put them in high chairs. And our waiter was the best vibe. Yeah, the best vibe. She was obsessed with the kids. She was holding the kids, loving them, brought us everything they needed. They had their high chairs and it was just... We also got foot massages and everyone at the salon loved them. Yeah, they're a hit. They're a hit.

They're ahead. People love the kids. Everywhere we've taken the kids, everyone's fallen in love. Love at first sight. We took them to Air One. Once again, everyone loved them. In the hot bar line, we have the kids in the cart in the front little section. Yeah.

Boys were coming up to us. Asking us about the kids. I don't think we encountered anyone rude about the kids. Right. I feel like it's people don't really hate like that. No, they don't. We didn't have anyone that was like nasty about it. I would say I would have honestly freaked out. Yeah, I would have been nasty. I would have been nasty right back. Cause like what?

Moms deserve to have fun too. Moms deserve to have fun too. And we're allowed to drink wine when our kids are there. Wait, a thousand percent it was mom's night out. It was mom's night out with the kids. M-N-O. But so then Peyton went to Milan and I went to Aspen. So we did put the kids to sleep for four days. Yeah, the kids just hung out. They slept. They needed it obviously. Some people say their kids like wake up every hour, like not ours. They only wake up when we get them. Which is awesome. They wake up when we wake them. Yeah, which is super, we're super lucky.

Yeah, I know. Not everyone has it that easy. No. So, Pei, what are you therapist about today? Oh my gosh. Good question. Can you go first? Well, I'm pissed that you're not caught up with Paradise.

Oh, that's a good one. I've been thinking about it all. Have you really? Yeah. Did you only watch the first two episodes? Yeah. So, Pei, Julia, and I started Paradise on Hulu. And it's amazing. It's the best show we've ever seen in our lives. And it's not my usual type of show. Which is why- I feel like I like a teeny bopper, like if it's a Netflix original, like I'm watching it. And I've seen it. Like, every single one of those shows is my favorite. Like Kitty XO. And XO Kitty. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it just got renewed for a third season. Yeah.

But Paradise is a little too mature for me, I'd say. Right. And I love it. It's amazing. It's about, well, we can't, the best part about Paradise is we can't even tell you what it's about because you just have to watch it. Yeah, and even like the first episode you can't describe because like at the end there's like a little. And it like, it'll gag you. Yeah. Damn, it's so good, Payton, and it only gets better. And this last episode was about. What episode are you on? Seven. I just finished episode seven. And then the last one comes out. Next week is the finale. So you have to catch up. Well, we tried to watch it in Milan in the like.

Hulu's different there. How was Milan? So much fun. I'm sure you don't want to talk about it. Okay. We can talk about it. Bleep that. Basically, I had a French man. That she went on a date with. Well, I met him when I was in Paris a few months ago. And then Julia and I got stuck in Paris. And I thought it was the perfect time to go on a date with him. Yeah, I was wrong.

She said he smelled like bad breath and he drank eight dirty martinis in 20 minutes. I made Julia come and sit on a date with me, basically. And then Julia got upset, so she left. It was seriously me, Julia, this boy. We were sitting at like a long bar table. Uh-huh. And the second he sat down, I knew I didn't like him. Why? Because he smelled bad.

Because, you know, like, obviously, you kind of get a vibe right off the bat. Yeah. And the vibe was negative. I could have told you I knew that this was going to happen. No, you didn't, honestly. Because he had such good vibes, like, over text. He just seemed so with it.

Yes. And like the language barrier was not an issue. It wasn't like that. It was just the fact that he simply couldn't hold a conversation either. Yeah. And smell bad. And it was like pulling teeth and everything I liked. He said he didn't like. What do you mean? What do you mean? Like basically he would be like, what's your favorite place to vacation? I was like, or he said, what was your what's your favorite place like in France? Oh, my gosh. Like Saint-Tropez. I love the south of France. Like, yeah, like it's so basic. Like that vibe. What else did he say he didn't like?

It was just more his energy. And then he was like, you can only get to Courchevel by jet. That's actually not true. Oh, cool. He was like, yeah, like the runway is really small. So like you can't go there if you don't have a private plane. What? It's not true. Looks like I'm not going to Courchevel. That's not true. Yeah. He was just like making up bullshit. And then...

I don't know. He was literally just saying that he didn't like anything I said I liked. How miserable was Julia? Julia was also... Julia was so tired because we... Basically, we missed our first flight not on... It was not our fault, but our last night in Milan, so Sunday night or Saturday night, we went to a late dinner and then we were packing and we were getting picked up in the morning and we just said...

We're honestly not tired, so let's just stay up the whole night so we can sleep the whole flight. That is super valid. I do that always, every time. And then at 6 a.m., we look at each other, and we're like, we're starving. So we room service at 6 in the morning pizza and gelato. It was so good. But then we are at the airport. It's like 10 in the morning, and they were like, your plane's in Paris, and it's probably delayed three hours, and our layover was two hours. So we were like,

Julia's like let's change our flights now. We're not gonna make it. I was like we're probably gonna make it We should not change our flights, which is like the most meeting ever. Wait, what do you wait? Hold on. Hold on change our flights to where like I'm confused We should probably change our flights to like back from Paris or one or one to the next day like the soonest one we can get on because we were gonna miss our flight and of course I was like we should probably keep the flights because we're probably gonna make and you missed it. Yeah, we missed it obviously, um, and were you upset I

No. Yeah, because you were in Paris. We were like, this is super inconvenient, but now we get to have dinner in Paris. Where'd you guys go to dinner? We went to one of Sylvia's favorite restaurants. What's it called? A something. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. I don't fuck with French food. Why? Yes, you do. I don't like French food. You love steak and French fries and soup. Yes, you do. You're lying. And bread and butter. What? I guess I do. And you love, what is it?

Like the sea. It's like a shell. Comes in a shell. You know. Snails. Escargot. Yes. Yes, I do love escargot. So you like French food and you just like. It's just heavy. It's really heavy. Yeah, I like that. Okay. Well, and then you guys were in France and what you what you smoke cigarettes now.

I guess so. I mean, I guess postpartum does things. We were with, yes, mom needed to take the edge off. Yeah, you did. I mean, we drank so much. Was it the best trip ever? It was so much fun, but we missed you. Speaking of dinner. Tonight? Yeah. Yeah, what do you want to do? I would absolutely eat that. Should we? Make a rise? Oh, you want to go? Should we not order? Should we go? I would go.

It sounds so good. I want that. I want that really badly. We went last Tuesday and it was fucked up. It's my favorite meal in LA. And like we're sending you off. It is my favorite meal in LA. Will and Charlie want to come. Like it'll be like, we'll just don't. We're really sad you're leaving. I know, me too. When are you coming? Detroit? Detroit. I'm so excited. And then you have to figure out. I can't believe you're finally going to Michigan. I know. We have to figure out what we're doing after. Yeah. My whole family's going to be there. Are they excited? Yeah.

They're so good. They're going to be like stage parents. Your mom bought front row seats. Yeah. She even asked me for tickets. She just bought front row seats with Sage. I know. She texted in the chat. I was like, respectfully, like you didn't have to buy them. She said that Sage wanted the best view.

It's really sweet. I know. I'm really excited. That'll be fun. White Lotus. I need to watch the second episode. You like this season? I really like this season. You have to watch season two, though. I keep falling asleep to it. Okay. Like what? I know. I don't know why. The second episode of White Lotus. Theo James puts you to sleep? Apparently so. Like I, what? Episode two of season three is so much better than episode one, I think.

Episode two of season three. Well, yeah, because in White Lotus, like they have to set like the whole scene of everything. I think they're like setting a whole universe. So it's just like kind of putting all the pieces together. Would you prefer to go to the White Lotus Hotel in Thailand, Italy or Hawaii? All of them. I agree. I would want to do Italy.

Should we go? Isn't it in Sicily? Should we go? Is it in Sicily? Yeah, but it's like, one thing about us is like if we're going somewhere, like there needs to be nightlife. Yeah, there needs to be clubs. And like I want a dinner where I'm on the table shaking my ass. Because my thing is like if we're out on vacation and there's not a club, like and we're not drinking, like. Then like why are we on vacation? Why are we there? Like I'd rather just lay in my backyard. Exactly. I'll sit on the fucking couch at home. Yeah, like that's my thing. It's like I do need nightlife wherever we go. Wait, I need nightlife always. Always. Always. Okay, so like birthday. Birthday.

I need to be like seriously like upside down on my birthday. You will be. I want to be like unconscious. Do you have a favorite birthday out of all your birthdays? My 21st. Do you have a favorite birthday of all my birthdays? Was the 21st Miami? Yeah. That's not your favorite. That's not. Well, no, the thing is I actually like had a grand old time, but I would say like my favorite. What did we do this year? Went to the Polo Lounge. Okay. My favorite birthday of yours is.

Honestly, I really loved your birthday after freshman year of college. In Michigan. In Michigan. That was so fun. When we went to that amusement park and then we went jumping off the lake. So fun. Also, I feel like there's something that is just like so exciting about, we weren't like new friends, but we had only been friends for like a year. A year. And I never got home with you. So it kind of was like a newer friendship. There's nothing more fun than when you get to bring like a new friend home from college. We went to Leo's.

The best. Do you miss Michigan? Michigan has the best vibes. Do you want to raise Justin in Michigan? Yeah. You think? But like I want, I'm going to pause his growing. Okay. For how long? Like probably like. I need a boyfriend first. Okay.

what do we do? Oh, Peyton and I want to go on a date. Honestly, like, should we put this as a call out for anybody interested? Like straight and gay duos. We want to go on a double date. We want to go on a double date, a straight guy and a gay guy or bisexual. Like I'm not picky. I'm also not picky. Yeah. Like, like if you're a boy, like exactly. Like if you are interested in either of us and you're friends with each other, like take us on a date. We really want to go on a double date. Well,

Well, we've been secretly planning double dates. So, like, we'll plan dates on the same night and, like, at the same place. Like, Peyton will tell me where she's going and then, like, I'll suggest it to whoever I'm talking to. I went on a date maybe, like, two months ago. And I made Will go on a date at the exact same time at the exact same place. And then the guy, like, went to the bathroom after, like, an hour. I honestly...

didn't notice even that Will was there yet. And he had been sitting like directly next to me. Did he say anything? Yeah, he sent me a photo of us. And then I looked over and started heaving laughing. Did he say anything? Yeah, he was like, he was texting me like, he's cute. Look at the way he just did XYZ. I was like, holy fuck. Are we, what are you listening to right now? Just hate? Just hate. All day? Just hate. We had, okay. Shuffle. So the weekend that we got, we gave births,

We got, Tate sent us the album because I was having Tate on Therapist the following week. So she sent it to me to listen to before. And so we spent that entire weekend listening to it. We were sick. But we were, Peyton refused to drive unless it was playing. Because like what a waste of a drive to not listen to it. Couldn't agree more. Right? I would say our fate, our best drive with that song was probably on the way to the play with the kids.

That was the first listen. Yeah, that was the first listen. Also, like our drive to sushi was good, too. How's The Bachelor this season? My problem is I always think it's good.

Objectively, this season is not good. Wait, why though? Why are people saying it's not good? It's just boring. I don't think people are super invested in the girls and their relationships. Grant. Is he hot? I think he's so hot. Is Julia enjoying her first bachelor bar? Yes. Okay, but there's no drama, right? There's so much drama. Then why is it boring? I don't know. I think that people just aren't super invested in this cast.

I haven't heard anything about it. You kind of have to be in Batch Nation to get it. Do you have a favorite Bachelor that you've ever seen? Joey, a few seasons ago, was pretty great. You know what show I'm going to start watching? You're going to be so happy about it. Love Island? Summer House. I've never seen it. I've heard it's amazing. Summer House is my favorite Bravo show. Really? But you have to start back. From the beginning? Yeah. Is it that good? Yeah. When Hannah's on it, it is fucking sick. Is the drama good? Yes. Like fights? Yes. And it's like now...

The cast is like really matured. Right. But back then they were like fucking insane. Really? Yes. And the relationships, like they treated each other disgusting. Well, so Paige was with, what's his name? Craig? No, Paige and Craig is like new. They've been dating for like three years. They just broke up. But has Craig always been a part of the cast? No, Craig's from Southern Charm.

So how did they meet? Okay, so basically, I'm so happy that you're watching Summer House. Well, I'm really excited. This is all I could ask for. I'm literally so excited. Okay, so there's Summer House, and then they created a new show. This was maybe like two years ago called Winter House. Right. So it was like some of the people from Summer House and then people from like Southern Charm, different people from like the Bravoverse, and Paige and Craig met on Winter House.

And Paige was hooking up with this like Italian model. He was so hot. Uh-huh. And then Craig was like there. Uh-huh. And then I think they like connected after. And was it like devastating when they broke up? I mean, they like just broke up. They're still like kind of going through the motions. Can you imagine going through a public breakup? Yes. How would you handle it?

I would just be like probably like so disheveled and upset knowing me. It would be bad. It would be bad. I feel like you would also be like, oh my God, you going through a public breakup. You'd post everything and then you'd wake up and be like, what have I done? You'd have to take my phone. Did I even tell you what I was therapist about today? No. I guess I said I was. What are you therapist about? I guess I was therapist about my nausea.

Yeah. How are you feeling? Good. I'm therapist that I get into Dallas really early tomorrow and Matt gets in at like 6 p.m. Shocker. It's like, what are you? Why? He's like, my flight's at 4 p.m. Who flies at 4 p.m.? Of course, Matt. But it's like, I feel like for me. And they're like, Jake, Jake's getting there. Crack it on. Yeah. And it's like, I, my confusion is like, wouldn't you rather fly at night or in the morning? Like 4 p.m. is diabolical. Honestly, kind of sounds nice.

Should we ask him why he's flying at four? Do you remember that one phone call when you were getting mad at Matt? What did I keep saying in the background? When he, like, fucking... Oh, eight? No, no, no, no, no, no. It was something else. I'm calling him. Was it he swissed? No. What? That part. What? That part. Oh, you were saying that part? Yeah, because that part. Jake and Matt are arguing.

And I was very much agreeing with Jake because I thought his points were very valid. And I thought the reason he was upset was very valid. So I don't know if I knew that Matt could hear me, but they were on the phone. And every maybe 30 seconds, I would just in the background that part. And then Matt woke up. I got a call in the morning saying like,

fucking Peyton was like in the background going that part, that part. Like shut the fuck up. I had to just fucking hang up on you guys, which like, yes, I get that. Well, it's hard because like we really like when I believe in something and you believe in something like we'll really convince each other of it. I... Because I really...

I protect your peace. Yeah. Oh, we pop. We pop. So it's like if you're upset about something and I very much agree that you've been wronged, then I get like more upset than you do. Agreed. Agreed. And then I really just get so upset for you, I make you more upset. I agree. Let's talk Copa Tua. Literally, please. Okay. Kick us off. So I saw Copa Tua before pay-in, which was like a cardinal sin. Because it was...

You got like the screening link and Jake does this thing where if he, oh my God, it's so annoying. What? Like if we eat dinner or something, Jake eats to the point where he gets himself so full and so uncomfortable he has to go to sleep. Yeah. So Jake will make so many plans before he eats dinner. And then the second he's done eating, he's like, I gotta go to bed. Yeah.

And I'm like, Jake, like, I'll even call him out, like, before we eat dinner. Like, don't eat too much. Like, we have plans. We have to hang out after this. Like, don't make yourself feel sick. He makes himself feel sick. So we were supposed to watch it together. And then Jake obviously ate too much and made himself uncomfortable and was like, I gotta go watch this in bed. On my computer.

And so we did watch it. I did watch it in bed alone. And then you watched it with Julia. What? Julia and I watched it at my grandma's house and I was like turning on the volume. I was like, Ooh, this one's freaky. I forget like how freaky they get. I loved it. Yeah. I loved it too. I, okay. Here's what I didn't understand.

I didn't understand. Okay. Can you remind me of the characters names? Nick and Noah. No, not Noah, but Noah's friend. Okay. I can't figure. Whatever. Jenna's friend. Jenna's boyfriend. Jenna's boyfriend. I understand why Jenna was mad at her boyfriend for racing to get money. Like she was like actually actively angry and it's like he literally had no other option.

yeah that was like a point of contention in their relationship because he was trying to get money to like do nice things for her and she just like didn't really understand the significance of it

Did you see my Snapchat from Milan? Which one? We went out with these Italian, the Italian guys and the one who told me his uncle directed Coppemia. Wait, I missed that. What happened? Like, did someone screenshot it? Because I need it. Did you not save it? I don't think I did. We were out with these Italian men. They took us to like a very local club. It was so fucking fun. How did you meet these men? Outside of dinner.

What? Yeah. What do you mean you met them outside of dinner? Outside of our dinner, I think that they probably ate at the same restaurant. Uh-huh. And they were waiting for their car, and we were waiting for our Uber because the restaurant closed. We stayed there until like 12.30, and they were like- Get out. Get out. The restaurant's closed. Yeah. And the guys were waiting for their car, and we were getting in the car, and they were like, what are you guys doing? And we were like, oh, we're actually going to the bar right now to get a spritz. Do you guys want to come? They were like, yeah. We'll meet you there. Got it.

He then, we are just talking, he was visiting his two friends that lived in Milan, but he was from Madrid.

And obviously, I don't know anyone from Madrid except he goes, do you know anyone from Madrid? I go, Nicole Wallace. Yeah. Do you know her? Yeah. He was like, I mean, like, I don't know her personally, but like, I go, Copa Mia. Like, that's my favorite movie on the planet. Like, hello. Have you seen it? And he was like, yeah, I've seen it. Like, Copa Mia. Like, how do you know Copa Mia? I go, Copa Mia is my favorite movie. What do you mean, how do you know Copa Mia? It's a worldwide sensation. Like, obviously, I know Copa Mia. Like, yeah.

I'm probably half of the viewership of Culpa Mia. Right, right. I watch it like weekly. And he was like, my uncle directed Culpa Mia. I was like, are you fucking serious? I guess I should have asked more questions, but I was just like, honestly, too stunned to speak. I guess we had Nicole to answer all of our questions.

Also obsessed with her. I miss her. Same. I miss her. We gotta go to Madrid. We have to go. We need to... Okay. We need to go to Copa Nuestra's premiere. What are people saying about Copa Mia London? I think people really like it. Is it different? It's like the exact same storyline. It's just like a different cast. So nothing's different. It's just in London. I...

Just feel like such a personal connection to the original Copa Mia. I know. Well, it's like, I'm sure like Copa Mia London's amazing. I haven't seen it yet. Just because it's like, it's not the same to me as the OG Copa Mia. So in Copa New Estra, like. And it's like, oh, I'm just like, so. How did we end off in Copa Tua? Copa Tua, they got back together, but.

Honestly, I did feel like they went through too much turmoil in their relationship where it's like almost like awkward irreparable. What happened again? Spoiler alert. She. Yes. Spoiler alert. She gave his mom like access into the house. Right. And then she like used it to kind of like fuck the family.

Because the mom. And then he, like, she, like, hooked up with someone else. Right, right, right. They honestly, like, kind of did a little too much. Well, he was, like, super foul in the movie. Yeah. So he's, like, a bad guy in the movie. He, um, what was it? I think it was that she was pregnant.

It was his parents. Yeah. She was pregnant and his parents found out and didn't tell him. So he had no idea. So it wasn't like his fault. But like obviously – I don't love Noah's mom. Yeah. No. She's like diabolical. Yeah. She's not a vibe. But it's like you would think – She's very selfish. So selfish. Yeah. Like you would think they went through so much together. What's the problem? I think so too. And also –

Ugh. It's like, just let them be together. Well, it's just like, you can't do anything about it. Right. It's like, they're soulmates, so. We should probably watch Culpa Mia London. I know. Is it called Culpa Mia London, or is it My Fault London? My Fault London. See? It's just like, not the same. It's not the same. Like. What are some of your other favorite Netflix originals? Exo Kitty. Mm-hmm. Outer Banks. My Life with the Walter Brothers. Oh, okay. So good. Yeah, you've seen that what, twice? Yeah. The soundtrack? Yeah.

Amazing. Is that where Constellations? Yes. The QB in me also. So good. It's like that. Like the Tubi original. Anything that's original from a streaming service. Like the Summer I Turn Pretty Amazon original. My favorite. My favorite is being adapted into an Amazon original. And I think it's going to be the vibe of like the Summer I Turn Pretty. What's it called?

It's called Every Summer After, but I think they're changing the name to Every Year After. What's it about? It's like the same vibe as the summer I Turn Pretty. It's like this girl is at her summer house and her neighbor is like a guy that's her age that like has an older brother. Can I ask you a question? Do these shows ever end differently?

Yeah. What a rude question. No, I'm just saying like, can like, they're all kind of the same vibe. Like that was like, had such a rude connotation. Well, I'm just wondering, cause I mean like a lot of like my thriller shows, like I can like pretty much, I mean, it's not a thriller. Like that's not what I'm seeking. No, but I can like guess what's going to happen. Like in paradise. Like I, something happened in the last episode. Like I guessed it right before it happened. Okay. So I guess I can guess what's going to happen in a teen movie.

What else? What's XO Kitty about? Young adult series. XO Kitty is a TV spinoff of To All the Boys I've Loved Before.

So it's like Lara Jean's younger sister goes to boarding school. And her name's Kitty. Yeah. Okay. Is it good? Amazing. Don't do what's Emily in Paris Netflix original. What else? What other what other Netflix originals? Bridgerton. I can't get behind Bridgerton. That's a personal problem. Shonda Rhimes is a genius. I love Shonda Rhimes. I don't I don't like period pieces. I'm surprised you do.

Period piece. Like the music is just an instrumental version of like all of our favorite songs. They make it. They do such a good job of making it like modern. Don't they do an instrumental version of Thank U, Next? Yes. Yes. It's like. And what is it like? People love Nobody Wants This. You would. Because like Adam Brody, like the resurgence and Leighton Meester is going to be the next. Are you excited? You know what I wish we could rewatch for the first time? What? One day.

Oh my god, I'm re-watching Normal People right now, actually. Well, that's a Hulu original. Well, that's actually a book. But it's very similar to One Day. I feel like your favorite author is Coho. I mean, like, I like Emily Henry. Who's Emily Henry? She is doing my, the summer books that I like. Well, weren't you just reading a Coho book? Yeah, regretting you. It's going to be a movie with Dave Franco. Oh!

What's it about? It is about, it's honestly a lot, very different than her other books. I do think you'd like it. Like, I know I'm like, I'm like speaking to like an empty. No, I like that. You're not going to actually like, didn't, didn't go out to the housemaid. No. Yes, she did. No, she didn't. She did Verity.

Got it. That's what you're thinking of. But. Is Verity that good? It's about, I haven't read Verity. I'm going to read it next. Shocking, I haven't read it. Okay, should we read it together? Yes. Okay. But we have to like, I'm kind of slow reader. How slow? I'll read fast for you, but like. Like do you do a chapter a night? No, I'm not that bad. You are like slow with the stuff you consume. Yeah. I can like binge the fuck out of a show though. Yeah, but like you like to like, you're good at like self-control.

I feel like I'm not. Like, the first time I watched Vampire Diaries, like, I was... I would bring my iPad to class. Would you actually? And, like, I, at work, this is, like, so bad, I have my monitor and I watch whatever I'm watching on, like, one screen. And then I work on the other screen. Well, Peyton also used to wake up two hours before work to watch Scandal. Oh, my God. Okay, so I watched Scandal for the first time, like, relatively recently, like, a year ago. And...

Kennedy and I would wake up two hours early for work so we could watch it before we went to work. And then we would get home and we would just turn it on and stay up until like four in the morning. We'd sleep for two hours, wake up, wake up, keep watching. I've like never felt that way about the show aside from Vampire Diaries. Were you excited to wake up? Yes. Would you like wake up and run to the couch? You know how people like are going to bed excited for their morning coffee? Yeah. I was going to bed excited for my morning Shonda. What was your favorite season of Scandal? Mine's obviously season two.

When she got kidnapped? When, no, because that was when Kennedy and I were in our worst viewing patterns because I was so fucking anxious. We had to keep watching until it was over. What do you mean? Until she was like saved from being kidnapped. What do you mean? Exactly what I said. But I was so fucking anxious that when she got kidnapped, I couldn't stop watching until she was safe. So, but what, like? It was like 10 episodes and we stayed up all night.

And I went to bed. Never. I went to work the next morning unslept. You were like hungover from Shondaland. Yeah.

I love her so much. Like, is she your favorite showrunner? She's a good showrunner. She's the best. For sure. She's amazing. And I wish that I could watch Grey's Anatomy so badly. Yeah, Peyton's very scared of needles, for those who don't know. I guess we haven't talked about this before. Oh, yeah. You guys showed the video of me getting a shot. Yeah, Peyton's very scared of needles. When I was literally 18. I'm really scared of needles and, like, hospitals and, like, everything like that. Oh, but regretting you. Wait, but...

Have you seen How to Get Away with Murder? No. I want to watch it, though. Should we? Okay, because I haven't seen that in a really, really long time. Oh, you have seen it. I've seen two seasons of it. Okay, so let's watch. Let's watch it. I think it's supposed to be amazing. Yeah. I mean, it's Shonda. Do you remember the day we went out after I lost my virginity? That was the night there was like a gun scare at the club. What? Where? You don't remember this? Or like a knife scare? Or like some fucking scare? We were at that warehouse. My God. The warehouse? Yeah.

Diabolical. Diabolical. And there was a gun threat. Yes, there was. And Kennedy was visiting. And we went to the proper for dinner. Bless you. Bless you. Bless you. Holy fuck, you're unlocking so many memories. That was a really fun weekend. It was such a fun weekend. Do you miss college? Yeah, of course I do. Do you? Sometimes.

I mean, I like our life now, too. Yeah, I love our life now. I feel like it's, they're fun for, like, different reasons. And, like, our life now is, like, it's fun. It's, like, we have, like, new friends and. What was your favorite night out we've ever had post-grad? Because I know mine. Well, why don't you share while I think? Casamigos Halloween party on my birthday. Oh, my God. That was. The best night of my life. So fucking fun. It was the best night of my life. So fucking fun. I don't think I've ever actually ever had more fun in Los Angeles.

That night was so fucking fun. Also, I remember I woke up like in we woke up like in our costumes. Also, the next night, the party was so much fun, too. There used to be this place in Los Angeles. It's not open anymore, but it was open till like 5 a.m. And like call time in Los Angeles, like last call, it's 2 a.m. Like that's when all the bars close. Which is so upsetting. It's honestly like some of LA's like biggest downfall. Is that like. It is. Because you can't go out really late. Who wants to go home at 2 a.m.?

I mean, not me. I want to go home at five. Exactly. Or seven. Five or seven is ideal. So it's like, it's. Coffee. Thank you. It's just confusing.

Well, that's why we loved Overpass because you could go until five and they still, honestly, later than five and they still served alcohol. Yeah, because it was illegal. But also, one of my favorite nights post-grad was when Alex was visiting and you bought the table at Off Sunset. Oh, at Off Sunset. That was the best night ever. That was so fucking fun. That was really, really fun. That was a really fun night. Ugh. There's always a theme of us just like never wanting to go home. Because we don't ever want to go home. Do you remember you bought the bottle and they told you? That you have to leave. Well,

Well, they told me. They said that they wouldn't close. Well, that's why I bought the bottle. They said, you can buy the bottle and we will not close. And we'll stay open. You guys can stay. You can like drink it, whatever. And then we bought the bottle and they're like, lights on. Well, not only were they like lights on, they gave us the alcohol and paper cups. Do you remember that? To hide the fact that it was in vodka. So bad. Like it was actually diabolical. I love going out. Okay. Are you ready for the tell me what's wrong? Ready. Ready.

I literally have a fear of newborns. I'm an aunt to many now adorable munchkins, but I was truly a fate of them when they were much smaller and alien-like. Whoa, mama. How can we appreciate them for the sweets they are? Motherhood isn't for everyone. Yeah, I guess you're just like not meant to be an aunt. Like, I don't know what to say. What do you mean like you're scared of newborns? Why? They're babies. And they're perfect and so cute. I will say there's nothing like an ugly baby. Like that, like it's like I'm always like, damn.

What do you mean? Like, you know what I mean? Like when you see an ugly baby and you're like, that's unfortunate. I feel like a lot of babies aren't like that ugly because it's like everything about them is like cute. It's like they're fat and like. Yeah, I guess you're right. Was Wes a cute baby? So cute, of course. My nephew is obsessed with Jake. Yeah, I'm obsessed with Peyton's nephew. They he like doesn't let anyone hold him at this age because he's like so. And he really let me hold him. And he loved Jake. I think he loved your like male energy. I think so, too.

How's it hanging, mamas? So good, mama. It's Tara. I'm having some problems with my sweet boy, Charles. He won't stop throwing up on me, and I'm extremely emet-phobic. What's that? It sounds like a fear of throw up. Okay. I need help. Can't relate because our babies don't throw up on us. Our babies don't throw up, and they don't spit up nothing. They're very easy, as we said, which we know is so lucky. We're so, so appreciative of their behavior. Right. But we...

What I would probably do is if he keeps throwing up on you and you keep having to like change your clothes, I would just walk around naked like with a burp cloth. Do mamas do that? I would. I do. Right? Like you have like a burp cloth. Just naked. Yeah. I guess. Yeah. I mean, I don't really know what else you're supposed to do. Also, maybe like keep your kiddo naked too so you don't have to keep changing him or her. And also like...

I feel like they don't throw up for that long. I would love some clarification, Tara, if it's like spit up or your baby's like sick. Yeah. And like really just like not okay. But spit up's very normal, Mama, so you just have to go with the flow. Agreed. My newborn baby was at my great aunt's house a few days ago and peed in her eye when she was changing him. She is blind in that eye now. What do I do? She's pissed. I know.

I feel like that's so normal. That like does happen. Not the blind part. Yeah. But when you're like changing, especially like a boy. I also feel like especially if your aunt went blind after pee in the eye, like she definitely had eyesight problems beforehand. And it's definitely not your fault. Also, it's like if you're going to change like the baby. Expect them to pee on you. Right. When you were giving birth to Justin, did you shit on his head? No, mama. Neither did I. Yeah. That's like not my energy. Yeah. That's not my energy either.

And like Justin came out like in his whale outfit. Did Bradley come out in his overalls? Yeah, and his hat. Wait, that can't be. Does urine cause blindness in the eye? Google. Does urine cause blindness in the eye? Google. I think you're supposed to say like, hey Siri. It's an eye infection that affects the tissues or fluid inside of the eyeball. It is a medical emergency. If you have symptoms, okay, there are two main.

Okay, so I feel like she had eye problems and probably should just go to the eye doctor and shouldn't blame your perfect kiddo. Agreed. Or you, mama. Or you, mama. You're just trying your best. Yeah.

And in the middle of the night would wake me up from a deep sleep. Mama, we cannot relate. We can't relate because our kids don't wake us up. But I'm so happy that you're bringing this to light about the noises because we're just spreading awareness to other mamas who are expecting. Yeah. So if you are expecting a new kiddo and you've never heard this, alert. Alert. Like they might sound like a goat. Yeah. They're just making some noises. It's very normal. I feel like babies, they're like...

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, they are. And it's like they stretch and like they breathe funny. It's like. Oh, so obvious. OK, so like this is a complete sidetrack. But like I have to bring Bradley on tour. Yeah. What? So what are we going to do when we separate them? They're going to be so sad. They're so codependent. They're really codependent.

They're brothers. They're going to miss bath time. They're brothers. I have a friend and her baby would bite her nipple while breastfeeding. So her mother told her to take the shit from the baby's diaper and put it on her nipple so he'll stop. So she did it and it worked. It works for you, mama. Yeah, that's okay, mama. But we definitely have that issue with Bradley and Justin. They like to nibble. Yeah, but I don't think I'm going to put the shit from their diaper on my nipple. Me either. That just doesn't seem like a good idea.

My personal journey, but I'm happy it works. And if other mamas want to try it, then go ahead and be my guest. Ooh. Hey, pussy princess. I saw my therapist on Tinder last night. I'm not going to lie. He's really hot. Should I swipe left, right, or straight into the abyss? Ugh. Like, I wouldn't even be able to have a hot therapist in the first place. Same. All my therapists are women. I've never had a male therapist. I would be so nervous to talk about...

Like my love life. And I would be so nervous to talk about anything because I would just be like so nervous that he's hot. Well, I did actually have a male therapist for like once, but he was homeopathic and it was super weird. Honestly, you should get a new one in the first place if he's hot. Agreed. I can't have a hot male therapist ever. I do have a hot gay doctor kind of. See, like that I'm down. Yeah.

Yeah, but like doctor like I'm not nervous. I'm not like telling you about my life. I'm kind of addicted to the therapist which they're me too. My roommate keeps talking in her sleep and she even screams sometimes it keeps waking me up. But somehow she never it keeps waking me up. But somehow she never wakes up. It's not that I'm not that close with her. But should I tell her mama we can relate with the kids sometimes? No, our kids don't wake up.

I know, but like with kids. I mean, that would be an issue if you were a mama. Yeah. Because she would definitely wake the kids up if she's just yelping in her room through the walls. But I would definitely tell her it's not rude. It's like something that's happening. And you don't have to say it in like an aggressive or like a judgmental way. You can just say, hey, like FYI, has anyone told you that you like yell in your sleep? Right. I feel like that's not rude. No, of course it's the facts.

I feel like it's literally the same as telling someone they snore. I snore, and I have a deviated septum, and I'm sick of the- You snore? So bad. I've never noticed. I know. And we have sleepovers pretty often. What's your problem? Yeah, Peyton said- That part. Peyton said that every time. That part. You're on therapist. Say hi. Is that Shia? Say hi, Shia. Oh, Matt's with his kiddo, too. Hi, Shia. Shia, do you want to meet Justin? Shia, do you want to meet our babies? Shia, look.

Look at the babies. It's Justin. Say hi, Justin. Say hi, Justin. Say pretty girls walk like. He doesn't like that anymore. I told you. Show him Bradley. What's that, baby? Matt, do you have any advice for mamas? Yeah, do you have any advice for the mamas out there? What's funny? What's funny? What's funny?

I don't know. Kai would have better insight than I would. Well, we want data insight. Yeah, we want data insight. We have all the mamas here for our mom tribe, but we want some data insight. I really think it's just all about being a good partner, you know? That's not about... We're a single mamas. And there are a lot of single parents watching. Yeah, so let's be fucking sensitive, please. I'm totally sensitive to it. I think that the single mamas...

Have the hardest job on the planet. For sure. And people should bow down at their feet with the amount of work. He said it, not us. That those single mamas are doing out there because they are doing the awards work. Yes. And is next to impossible. And I couldn't imagine doing it solo. So thanks for singing our praises. I think we appreciate it.

That's my two cents. I mean, I loved that. Can you get Shia to say hi to Peyton? Yes. Can you say hi, Peyton? Oh, Peyton. What? Shia. Oh, he wants to see the baby. Oh, the baby. Shia, look. It's Bradley. Say hi, baby. Baby's eyes. Oh, the baby. Hey, Shia, can I have a bite of the apple? Oh, you're such a good mama. Can I have another bite, please?

Can I have a bite? I'm hungry. You need a haircut, yeah. That's not what he said. Yeah, what? What? He's saying head, head. It's his head. It's the hair. I don't think the hair is the same as two-year-old. You just made that up. He needs a haircut. He didn't say that. He didn't say that. If you're a good dada, you know what your kids want. He didn't say that or even insinuate it. Okay, bye, dada. Bye, dada. Bye, Shia. Bye, Shia.

Bye. Wait, are you going to babysit the kid on tour? While Jake's on stage. Can you bring the baby? Yeah. His name's Bradley, first off. First off, it's Bradley. And what are you insinuating, Dada? Yeah, can I order like a little harness for him? Yes. Yes. Yeah, do you need diapers too and wipes and stuff? Yeah, and passies. Well, I only have size fives right now. Is that all right? Yeah, doing the Lord's work. Thank you so much. Okay, we love you, Mama. Okay, I love you.

to say why the fuck is your fight why the fuck is your flight at 4 p.m tomorrow because i have to handle some stuff in the morning yeah that's the most you thing ever kids to school and miss diane's okay dada being a good mama yeah you are oh whatever we just got one like well are you gonna get in for dinner mama yeah i am even if i have to come to dinner with my luggage i am coming to dinner okay bye mama

Bye, Mama. Bye, Mama. That was unbelievable. Well, thank God he was with Shia. I know. Shia said pee-pee. We got a true kid's perspective. Not actually a mama, but I'm a kindergarten teacher. Yes! And one of my kids told me I really need to start getting my life together and get a husband.

Proceeding to tell me I looked prettier yesterday and I should never wear this sweater again. Anyway, any advice on dealing with mean kids? Kids are... They're not meaning it to be rude. They're not meaning it. I know this sounds horrible, but the kid just has an opinion. Yeah, and I feel like...

A child's honesty is honestly so sweet and like fun. Right, isn't that sweet? Like you can't take that seriously. Also. They don't understand the nuances of relationships. Exactly. Like they don't understand. Like yeah, they liked your sweater yesterday. Yeah, that means they liked your sweater. Yeah. I mean a win's a win. Right. And like the kid is telling you like never wear the sweater again. It's not like fuck you. It's like the kid is six. Like oh sweet, you know. Like it's actually cute when the kid is rude. Also it's like I see a lot of six-year-olds. I don't like their outfit. Exactly. Exactly.

I had a six-year-old cut me in line the other day. I said, excuse me. I did for the bathroom. I said, I have to pee. Yeah, because a six-year-old doesn't like your sweater. Like, come on. It's fine. It's like not that serious. But being a kindergarten teacher, that's really sweet and fun. This is a toughie. What was the hardest thing about giving birth? Would you do it again from Susie K? Okay. I, as I said, I'm really scared of needles. So I had a lot of trouble with the epidural. I, on one hand, was like epidural now. Yeah. Yeah.

Jake had no problems. We were in one of the rooms that just had like a divider. So we had like the front half of the curtain like unzipped so we could keep talking to each other and looking at each other. I really recommend that. Like if you're going to plan out. If you're going to be pregnant with your friend. Yeah. Plan out like your birth schedule with a friend and your conception timeline. Like if you know that you guys want to be pregnant together, like maybe keep having sex on the same week. Yeah. And like plan your due date. So it's the same like we did. Yeah. So like.

Obviously ours happened very fast. Ours happened at the Beverly Glen Pharmacy. We had to give birth right then and there. It was really, really fast. And we were just lucky that it happened at the same time. Yeah, we were lucky. When did you end up getting the epidural?

They had to give me, like, pills before. Really? Yeah. I had to take Xanax. And then you took the... Can you take Xanax when you're pregnant or giving birth? I did, so... Yeah, and it's just fine. Yeah, so, I mean... What was... So, I would say that was probably the scariest part for you. The scariest part for me... For sure, that butthole. The scariest part for me was, like, I think just the anticipation. I think... Yeah, I know. I think just the anticipation. But we were super lucky. Like, we weren't putting our bodies through, like...

hell and back just because it happened so fast. It was like such quick. It was so quick. What are you asking for? More tell me what's wrong. Oh, we went through all of those? Yeah. I also have a question. Oh. Ask away. I have a baby mama question. Do you have a baby mama? Did you get a girl pregnant? Have you? No. Could you imagine? I don't know. You would know. Okay. He's like this.

How did you guys arrive at the names? The names? Mm-hmm. Well, they're named after some of our favorite celebrities. I'm going to speak for myself. And when I say Justin, it's after Justin Bieber. And Bradley's after Bradley Cooper. Yeah. So Justin and Bradley. It was really easy, honestly. It was super easy. Well, Justin came very quick to pay in, and I was really jealous because I really like the name Justin. But then I came up with Bradley. And I did think that this was such a good time where I could use a name that...

that since it was just like so unexpected and last minute and this is like my first one I didn't use one of the names that were on like my list that I've had like in my notes app forever do you have any other questions do you guys have any like hopes and dreams for your kids you want them to be happy yeah happy and Justin's gonna be a hockey player he'll be on skates when he's about one and a half Bradley will be in theater

Yes. Like, Justin's going to be in hockey, like Bradley's going to be in theater. But they're going to be best friends and be really supportive of each other. Right. And Bradley will come to Justin's hockey games and Justin will go to Bradley's plays. Yeah. Hope everything is doing okay with you and your little ones. I know postpartum can be a rocky road. I was wondering if you have any tips on latching. XOXO newborn mama. Do you want to kick us off or me? I mean, Bradley took so fucking long to latch, I can't even get into it. I know. This is a tough question for Jake because Bradley did have the most trouble latching. Justin, it was pretty immediate. Yeah.

Like, we didn't have many issues. Like, we have a really good nipple cream we've been using. We brought it to the hospital. What's funny, Mama? Mama, nothing. I'm just like, like, I can't believe we're mamas. Sometimes it's, like, still so hard to talk about, like, the...

The ins and outs of all of it. Yeah. So we brought the nipple cream to the hospital. And I don't know. I think maybe the biggest thing would be to watch all of those like pregnancy prep videos on TikTok. I know that we did that. Like what's in my hospital bag? I mean, talk about a FYP. Come on. Like what's in my hospital bag? Like all of the best things to get. And then you should...

Probably have the best time going from there. My babies are a little older than yours, ages three and five, and just will not eat. Oh, you have little toddlers, mama. Yeah, toddlers, not babies. And just will not eat. How do you guys think I should... Actually, there always are babies. How do you guys think I should get them to eat something more than just pasta and chicken fingers? I think there are so many good recipes on TikTok. Like, I see all of these other mamas, and this is definitely what I plan to do when Justin's a little older and Bradley too.

You like disguise vegetables. So if your kids like favorite food is pasta, you make red sauce with like you boil like carrots, maybe like peppers, other vegetables, and then you blend it together with the sauce. And then at least they're getting like more nutrients. And then the same vibe with chicken nuggets you can make. There are so many recipes on

but homemade chicken nuggets where you put like broccoli spinach with like the ground chicken. So it might take a little extra work like cooking, but I think try to disguise vegetables and foods they already like. Mama, that's great advice. Thanks. My baby's nose is super runny, but I can't get behind using one of the things that you put in your mouth. Oh, I get that. To suck the snot out of the baby's nose. Have any suggestions on what else to use? Honestly, no, because I do think that that's the best tool. But if you have like,

a trusted person in your life, like maybe your kiddos, like grandchild, like godparent, a bestie, a grandparent, you can ask them to do it. Or like, yeah. Hey mama, so proud of y'all. I had a friend ask me to use my breast milk that I pumped for my child. Is it selfish to keep my own breast milk for my baby? I know it takes a village, but I can't feed the whole village with these boobs. They're tired, lol.

Okay, mama, you're speaking our language first off. It does take a village, but breast milk is not the only way. There's really good formulas. A lot of people don't even breastfeed. It's also not fair for your friend to be like, let me use your breast milk. Like your baby needs your breast milk. Yeah, I think that's too much to ask. And I do not think it's rude to say no or awkward. You have to pop. Yeah.

You have to pip. You have to pip. Protect your piece. Yeah, but when we protect our piece, we're popping. Yeah. Okay, Mama, what did we learn today? I learned that we're powerful mamas and it takes a village. And I learned that a lot of people are having the same experiences as us. Yeah, which is so good to know. And it's so important to have a mom's night out. Mm-hmm. And...

Life doesn't stop when you have kid. It doesn't. It seriously doesn't. Like you need to learn to make time. We went to Nobu the same night we gave birth. Yeah. You need to learn to make time for you.

And not let being a mama, like, take over everything. Right. Like, you still need to. Like, always remember that you're a good mama even if you take care of yourself. Yeah. And just, like, be there for each other and lean on each other. Right. Like, we've been doing that a lot. Get your mom tribe. Yeah. Like, find your tribe. Yeah. Find your tribe. Yeah. And I'll leave it at that. And, like, yeah. Okay, well, mama. Hey. Thanks for coming on Therapist. Love you, mama. I love you more, mama. Bye, pussies. He's got you on the hook. He slayed.

It's Therapist, Therapist, Therapist, Therapist.