Shownotes Transcript
Hi pussies! Welcome back to Therapus. This week we have on Lucy Dacus. She just released her new album, Forever is a Feeling. It's amazing. She's amazing. I was so honored and happy to have her here.
but aside from that, we had a very exciting week last week. Um, I announced my guest spot in hacks, which is my favorite show. Um, I'm so, it was literally like, uh, filming with them was like the best, best days of like the best day, few days of my life. Like it was like seriously the most rewarding. Like I felt, um, so like proud of myself and like, I don't know, like grateful. Um,
It was just amazing. I'm so excited for you guys to see it. Like, it's just the best. We're going to the premiere tonight. And I also met Ariana Grande, which was amazing. I had to process it for a few days because, like, I walked in and I didn't think she was going to be there. Like, I knew she was going to be at the event, but I didn't think she was going to be there that early on. And I, like, looked to my right and she was there. And, like, my heart, like, fell into my stomach. And I was like, you know what I mean? And I, like, didn't really know how to –
She's like actually the nicest person ever. I actually can't believe I still really can't believe that I met her but her her whole team Courtney like they were so welcoming and so lovely like I it was the most incredible night like being able to tell someone who means so much to you like how much they mean to you is like.
the best feeling in the entire world. I'm binge watching The Leftovers right now. Um, it's amazing. Carrie Coon's in it. I started watching it because of White Lotus and, uh, someone was like, Carrie Coon's also in The Leftovers and also Justin Theroux is like the hottest person I've ever seen in my entire life. I'm on season two, as of right now, season two, episode four. Outstanding. You guys, it's my new addiction. It's my new addiction. You have to watch it. Um, I'm trying to think of anything else that I've been up to. I've been listening to a lot of Bon Iver. Um,
You love, huh? Don't you? Love. Yeah. I just got, I mean, I've listened to them in passing, but I just really got into them. What's your favorite album? Right now, I'm on Bon Iver, Bon Iver. That's really good. Forever Goes. Well, yeah, but that one I had listened to prior, but Bon Iver, Bon Iver, I actually am way into, and I like their new stuff. I like their new stuff a lot. I think it's great. I'm excited for that album. I think it comes out this week. April 11th. Yeah, I'm super excited.
I think I go, I think I'm going to go. Oh my God. I think I know I'm leaving for Coachella tomorrow night. I'll just get me to the desert. I just got to go. I got to fucking go. I got to go now. I've been thinking about it. I have no, I have one t-shirt and that's it. I have one t-shirt for it. And that's the only thing I bought. So, um, let's just hope for the best here. I'm excited to go, um, and be with everyone and just dance and see Charlie XCX and Lady Gaga. Um, but
But yes, Lucy Dacus is on tonight's episode and she is amazing. Probably, she probably got me the most calm I've ever been in this room, which was awesome. But I'm such a fan of her and such a fan of Boy Genius that it was so cool to have her here. I don't know if you guys remember, but like one time I was behind Boy Genius on a red carpet and I looked so fucking gagged. If somebody can find that photo, let me know. It's really funny. Stream Forever is a Feeling out now. It's incredible. My favorite song is Big Deal.
And I also love Angles, which I know is a single and a very basic answer, but I really do love Angles. Like I hyper fixated on that song for a few days. You can see if I'm coming to a city near you by going to pass that post.com, clicking live with Jake Shane and checking out the dates and to submit a, tell me what's wrong. Go to pass that post.com. Click. Tell me what's wrong and tell me what's wrong. Submit a name and number if you're feeling fancy and enjoy tonight's episode. Love you pussies.
Hi pussies, welcome back to Therapus. Today we have the one, the only Lucy Dacus. Her fourth studio album is out March 28th. It's called Forever is a Feeling and it is so incredible. I, Lucy, welcome Lucy Dacus.
Thank you very much. I love your album. Thanks. It's amazing. Thank you. How long has it been in the works for? I guess I started writing songs in 2022. And then recording, I recorded while we were touring as Boy Genius. And then, thanks, me too. Yeah, it's been like, I guess, kind of a long time coming. They sent it to me. I was listening to it. I was like, I feel like this is a love album.
You felt correctly. Okay. I was like, I feel like this is about... Your feelings are facts. I feel like this is about love, but I also feel like it's a bit about reminiscing, especially on Bullseye with Hosier. What was that like? My life leading to the song or him being on it? You know, I realized I didn't get into specifics with that question. Well, I'll tell you everything. I actually, yeah, I wrote it about basically when you get to the end of a relationship and you're like...
Everything's great about you. It's just not happening anymore. And I thought it'd be great if two people shared that sentiment instead of one person being like, and bye. It's more powerful if both people can be like, I appreciate everything we were able to give each other and we're walking away. And Hosier is just...
The best. Yeah. His voice is so good. His songwriting is so good. I feel like he's under, he's like selling out huge shows and yet I find he's underrated. He's so underrated. He's kind of underrated. He's so underrated. Yeah.
There's this line on that song that I love where you talk about, uh, you're moving out and you're looking through old stuff and you find, uh, your partner's old things and you can't figure out if it's, if you should view them as like a gift or like something that you should get rid of. It hurts. Yeah. I,
I've never had that feeling, but I am sure. Congrats. Thank you. If it comes around, then you'll know. Did you guys record that song in studio together? Or did you like send him an open verse? We did not. I wrote it. So I sang the whole thing myself. Oh, wow. Sent it to him. He liked it. And then...
He basically just sang on top of mine and then added all these beautiful harmonies. And he was just in Ireland, you know. Being a hosier. Yeah. Yeah. Being far away. So yeah, I wish we had done it in person. We were trying for that and then it didn't.
and it didn't work out. I'm sure you guys will perform it in person. Oh, I hope so. There's no plans right now, but there's, of course, a heart and intention towards that. Of course. Are you planning on touring the album? Yeah. I'm so excited. I'm so excited, too, actually. It's like we're doing press and having little songs come out, and people aren't hearing it, and it's all digital, and the shows are actually...
Right, of course. That's the reason to live for me. Do you have a favorite show you've ever performed? Boy Genius at Gunnersbury Park in London. We had fireworks and Moona opened. I got to make out with everybody in Moona except Naomi, who declined kissing anyone. So proper. Yeah, it was so awesome. That was just like...
a dream. Like, do you ever have moments where you're like, this is my like flash forward 15 years from childhood or like I'm a kid just being like daydream. Right. And then you're like, I'm actually doing that. I feel like I have that feeling sometimes, but I try not to feel it because when I feel it, well, it brings me such gratitude in the moment. It also brings me
such sadness because I feel like it doesn't feel like you thought it would feel like what it would feel like. Do you know what I mean? I would say often and then I hope for you some moments that are like this is as good as I thought it would be. I think I just need to overcome and
I feel I have such bad anxiety. So if I can push through that and feel it. But there's moments. When I toured the show for the first time, I felt that a lot when I would come out on stage. I got my first standing ovation. So that's when I was like, that was my real I made it moment. What was your I made it moment? What's interesting is I never...
wanted any of this so I never like dreamed about it that much that's like a weird thing to say I want it now I love it but I was like in school for photography and and film and then just working in Richmond at a photo lab and kind of just enjoying my life my rent was $190 like I was skating it was okay like I
I was so present and I'm like, I had goals generally to live a life I could be proud of, but wasn't working towards like, and I'm going to achieve this. I had short-term goals of like, in three months, I want to have finished a music video to show my friends or just more personally oriented goals. And then this just kind of started to pay my bills and I was like, okay, I'll get on this.
And I'm still riding. So I guess your original question is like, when did you feel like you made it? I don't even know what it is. Right. While I'm making it. Yeah. Which is kind of fun because that means it could change and I won't be disappointed. Hopefully. It's a really good outlook. Yeah. You said you never like wanted any of this, but then so were you just like making music kind of for yourself? Yeah.
and like putting it out and did something just click and work? Yeah, kind of for myself and then to participate in like my hometown's music scene. Like my friends made music and I was just like, cool, that's what we do. And are you still close with all your friends from your hometown? I mean, not all because like things happen and also I was just talking to my friend like...
I don't really get to be the person that I want to be while I do music because I'm so disparate, which means I get to have a lot of cool relationships that all stay a little more shallow. What do you mean by that? I don't know how much you travel. You just travel so much that you can connect with people deeply just if two people are willing. Kind of like the community-oriented, staying really in touch with people.
What people are doing and what you can be doing for them and like kind of like passive time. Yeah. Active time. Yeah. It's harder to come by when you're moving around so much. So I'm wondering if there'll be a part of life where I'm a lot more still.
I think there definitely will be. And I feel like it's like, do you ever feel like in the parts where you're still, you're in for the parts that are like you're moving and then when you're moving, you're like, wait, I want to be still. Never satisfied, of course. Right? Yeah. Actually, Phoebe has this lyric in I Know The End where she says, I romanticize a quiet life. There's no place like my room. And I was, not to be so dramatic, but I would listen to that on tour all the time.
because I was like I know all I want is my room but then the second I get back to my room like what's next what's next yeah it's good to romanticize your own life I think do you romanticize your own life I feel like every piece of furniture I get in my house is like my new family member and I'm like I miss my bookcase right I miss my coffee table and I miss my record shelf and um
I can just go missing easily. I do not have problems missing things. I'm missing everything all the time. When's your birthday? May 2nd. Are you Taurus? Yeah. What are you? I'm a Scorpio, but I love Taurus. We're sisters. Yeah, we are sisters. My mom's a Taurus. My mom's a Taurus. Really? Yeah. When's your mom's birthday? May 8th. Okay. When's your mom's birthday? May 19th. Close enough. Shout out Sandy. Shout out Helene. Yeah.
But yeah, I love Scorpios. I mean, y'all really keep the world mysterious and gorgeous. It's funny you say that. I actually feel like I'm the least mysterious person on planet Earth. But I think that's my Gemini. Are you like into astrology? I'm Gemini Moon. Okay. So I hear that. I'm Gemini Moon and Gemini Rising. Oh. So it's like I can't. So you got to be like. Like I'm so talkative and out. You need to see all sides of things. Yeah. But then there's moments where I'm like my social battery is just shot and I'm like I need to be alone. Yeah. Yeah.
You know what I mean? Get back in your shell. Okay. So you were in Richmond, Virginia. You were in school to be a photographer. Yeah.
I was in school. It was VCU Arts, very good art school. And I was studying photo film. And I just didn't, they like took away my scholarship randomly. I'm sorry. I was like, and then when I went, I think it was a hoax, honestly. Conspiracy theory. They gave me like a really nice scholarship that made me choose to go there. And then took it away and wouldn't schedule a meeting with me to talk about it. Gave me no reason. And then it was like,
I think it's kind of a hoax. Like the scholarship was a hoax. I think basically like it seemed like the people were trained to not respond, respond. And I was like, cool, I'm leaving. Like, I don't want to be in debt. Right. Please. Like, I don't got the money for this. Yeah. Yeah. And then got, yeah, a photo job. And I know so I used to know so much, like all these cameras, I would know everything.
And it's just like out of my brain. Sometimes it comes back, but... Do you still take photos and practice photography? I got back into taking like film photos, which is really nice. And I was the guy at the party, like taking photos of everyone and like doing the big upload on Facebook. Tag yourself. And that was nice because it like gave me something to do with my hands and a purpose in a social space. But also it like...
makes moments fake in a way. Like, it was like, oh, I'm capturing the moment instead of, like, living it. And that got kind of annoying. But I'm finding a good groove now with my little tiny camera. Yeah. Do you... So people always used to say, or what I've always heard is, like, that people, photographers love to be behind the camera, but then you started to be the one in front of the camera. Oh, my God. So, like, what was that shift like? Awful. Not fun. Really? Yeah. Yeah.
Oh my god, I just saw your post-university. Oh, you like it? It's all my fake diplomas. Uh-huh, doctor of psychology. Being in front of the camera, not as fun. Really? Really not as fun. But, I don't know, it's just like part of the job, so you have to like figure out the best case scenario in each situation. I have had fun doing shoots. I mean, my thing is like as long as people are kind, you can kind of get through anything.
whatever. Do you feel like with like Boy Genius, like you kind of have, it's more fun because you have like your friends and the support system around you? Yeah, for sure. Yeah. Yeah. And we were being so stupid. And like, I have the power to be stupid if I want in my life. But I think just like the music is so sincere that it would be weird if I was stupid all the time. I mean, all of your music is so sincere, but is there a song that's
so personal that like you have trouble performing it ever yeah there's songs i have to take breaks from yeah um or even like live in a set i'll like turn the band and be like really skip you know there's a song called thumbs that's kind of hard that's about wanting to kill my friend's dad there's a song please stay about trying to convince my friend to live those are definitely some of the bigger ones i wonder if there are any on this record
There's some love songs and I could see if I was like fighting with my partner. I'd be like, not today. Or it would be a great reminder that I actually love them. Do you have like a favorite song on the record? I like Limerence, which is already out. I love Limerence. Thanks. What does Limerence mean? It means being in love with the idea of somebody or like wanting their affection. Basically like being obsessed with getting the love from someone.
Oh, I'm about to listen to this song with a whole new meaning. I'm so excited to listen to this again right after this. Yeah, it's like not, it's not about actual love. Limerence is like, kind of like a category of romantic obsession, I suppose. I gotta go hit the dictionary again, but yeah. Okay, so I'm actually very excited to listen to this after. I love ankles.
I love ankles. Is ankles about the partner you're with right now? Yeah. Did they love it? Yeah. When you are in the studio and you're making music like that and you're like, I know this is going to be the first single or do you not think about it like that? You kind of think about it more like a project and you let everyone else tell you. No idea. I mean, after it's over, I have opinions, but like...
I'm just, like, per song, what needs to happen. Or even, like, per line, what needs to happen to make it hit. Because the lyrics can't be, like, secondary to anything. It's kind of my rule. Like, the lyrics have to be king at all moments. Okay. So, lyrics over melody for you. Well, I write the lyrics and the melody at the same time. Okay. But then when it comes to any production, it's got to, like...
keep attention on the meaning. Sometimes we'll do very cool stuff and I'm like, it's too distracting. We, you lose the plot basically. And we can't do that extremely cool thing. Some, but sometimes it really makes the song and you do this cool thing in your music. Um, you do it with the last song on the record and you also do it a night shift where the complete vibe of the song just changes and it becomes this like kind of arena Rocky production. Um,
And I just think it's super cool. Yeah, I was worried on the last song. That might be my favorite one. And it is so different from Night Shift, but it does end in this kind of payoff. I was like, oh, I wonder if people think I just...
Only do that. No. But I think you've earned it by the end of the record. But yeah, that one is very special to me. Night Shift. I was with what you remember when I was telling you I was like I was walking around London and I was listening to your music all day. It was Night Shift was on repeat. What is Night Shift about? Because normally I'm like I can really understand a song, but sometimes sometimes it's so...
above my pay grade intellectually that I'm like, I don't get this. What is night shift about? Oh my God. I'm like, I feel like it's pretty cut and dry. Like night shift is about, let me remember the song, like basically being, being out of a relationship with somebody that was cheating on you and then trying to see other people. And it's, it doesn't feel good. You see them again because they want to like be forgiven. And, um,
Ultimately, just about getting past it and being like, I am not going to feel as bad as I do right now eventually. Wow, okay. And I'll have new people that I'm in love with and...
Yeah. Wow, it's really beautiful. I really love that song. Yay! Were you anticipating the success of Night Shift when you put it out or not at all? You can't anticipate anything. And it's also been like a slow burn. I mean, people always liked it, but I feel like it kind of reaches new audiences and making the music video for it five years after it came out was a choice. So much fun and...
Yeah, I love playing that one. It shows still and like some songs feel old to me and that one just feels like it's still relevant. Right, right. I love I also love your song hot and heavy. Thanks. I love it. I was like, I love when you can just like really dive into someone's discography and like really find so many new things. And I was in the car with my best friend will.
turn it up. What is this? He's like hot and heavy. Oh, it's amazing. I love to hear it. I always forget, like, obviously people are having their own special little interactions, but I'm not there. Right. So I'm like, that doesn't exist. Is that one of your favorite parts though about putting it out? It's like knowing that everyone is going to have their own experience with the song. It is.
It is sweet. You gotta, like, hope for the best that it'll reach the people that it does. That's the thing is, like, people that aren't into it will skip it, and the people who are into it will let it into their life. And that's just how it is. Right. It's the shows, though, that really...
matter to me. All the compliments and accolades, I can see through them and discredit them. Anyone being like, I love your record, I'm like, you have to say that because I'm in front of you. But knowing lyrics and you can't fake it. You have to have spent time learning the songs. So when you see these people screaming the lyrics back, it's so rewarding. Thank you for the brain space. Right, right. Oh, that's so awesome. Do you find touring...
Because you love the show so much. But we were talking about traveling and how that's hard. Do you find that aspect difficult? It can be hard sometimes. I would say it's usually fun just because I love my band. And then there are days where you have full breakdown and you have to weep in the corner of a green room and put a pillow over your face and just let it happen. But that kind of happens...
I don't know about you, but that just happens. Whether you're on tour or not. Yeah. You just have to like...
Screaming to the void and think that life sucks. And then you remember life is awesome. And that's just, that's just the, the way that it is. Right. I, that actually happened to me yesterday. I had like a full episode for like 20. Well, I don't cry because I'm on meds that don't let me cry. Oh yeah. No, it's, it's fine. I've actually like, I'm like, think I'm going to go down on them just cause I think, I don't know. I want to be, I miss the feeling of crying. Yeah. Um,
Love isn't about avoiding crying. I do think some people think it is. They immensely think it is. Just like just avoiding fear of emotionality. Right. And yeah. But I hope you do get to cry soon. Me too. Yeah. Me too. The last time I cried was, oh my God, everyone listening is like, we've heard this story a million times. September 2019 outside of Macaroni Republic in downtown LA. Yeah.
Well, I'm sure that that was necessary at the time. It was. And I weirdly called my dad. And he was like, hello? Like, what are you doing? I was about to say, do you like him? I love my dad. But like, he was just like, what the fuck are you calling me? I was so drunk. Okay, yeah. And I was like, oh my God, I gotta stop. I gotta stop. Yeah. It's, yeah. It'll get you. It'll get you. Alcohol just always brings out the emotions in me. Yeah. It always brings out the throw up in me.
Yeah. We were talking about that before in college when I used to take shots. Okay, so it's weird. It's happened to me three times in my life. I'll take a shot and just immediately throw up right after.
Yeah. And yeah, it's not enjoyable. But that's only happened three times. So you were telling me it happened to you after a glass of wine. It happened just one glass of wine recently. I just like don't drink that much. If I ever do, it's like an Amara. Anybody had an Amara? Amara's nice. Sounds classy. Yeah. So like every couple months I'll have an Amara. But I'm no party girl. At least in that way. Right. And I have had, I think 2023 Amara.
It was probably the most I ever drank in a transitional time. Well, I just feel like 2023 was also like you put out the Boy Genius record and the Grammys and everything was happening all at once. Life was changing. Life was changing. And there are nights. It's just really scary. I'm scared of losing my memory. And the nights that I've been like, I don't remember what happened feel like.
Little tiny death, you know? Yeah. I also hate having when people have to tell me what happened. Oh, my God. It's just that was what my nightmare last night was about. And it was the weirdest nightmare ever. I was on a reality show and my tour manager, Matt, told them put like I was super drunk at the club. And Matt said, put cameras up, like put like record him.
And how evil. And I woke up and we got, I got in the biggest fight with him in my dream. I'm the type of person, I can't separate dreams from reality. Are you mad right now? I woke up a little pissed. Yeah. I woke up angry. I've had that before. I have dreams that people are mad at me. Okay. And I'm still a little like, like I had a dream that one of my band members basically was like,
all of us actually hate you and you're like so bad at this and the music sucks and like everyone's afraid to say it because everybody you're paying people to be here and like you pay everyone really well so like nobody can be honest with you and like it's just this hope like fear just fear and then I the next day luckily I told him about it and he like will still apologize for it oh
How sweet is that? That is really sweet. He didn't even do it, but he's like, I'm so sorry that your brain did that and I don't think those things. Oh, Matt could never. Matt would be like, yeah, camera's up.
Oh my gosh. So you love your band. Yeah, I do. So it's really fun to tour with them. It's so much fun. I've missed them. Even through Boy Genius, I've missed them. And we've gotten, we live all over the country. One of us lives in Ireland. New band member, Phoenix, lives in Manchester. Ooh. And, ooh. I really want to go to Manchester. Oh, she's so great. And she's Greek. So I, she has a British accent to me, but she has a Greek accent to my British friends.
I just, I don't have the discerning ear. Does she have a Manchester accent? I don't actually know that either. Manchester accents like... Are you going to do one? Please? It's like, it's like childlike. Like, you know, like...
Like, Chav Check. Like, that's like a Manchester accent. Did you say Chav Check? You've never. Are you on TikTok? No. Okay. So. I mean, I have one, but I don't scroll on it, to be frank. Back in the day, there was like this like Chav Check and it was like a Manchester girl trend. And there was a song that was like, have a lot of faith in me, love. And like, they would do all their makeup. I liked what you just did. Yeah. It's all I need. Yeah. Do you remember that?
Yeah, it was awesome. Most of my friends in Manchester are dolls that DJ and I want to go like dance. I want to go to the club and dance with my dolls in Manchester. That sounds amazing. Yeah. Also, also like club culture and nightlife culture is so much better in London. I feel like because I feel like here everyone's like phones up.
And I feel like the culture there is more less judgy and more like everybody's in their own body feeling the music. And I've actually noticed that just as a viewer and watching concerts online. I remember there was this one concert, and I think it was Summer Walker. And I think she was performing in Hyde Park. I forget what it was, but...
The crowd was just screaming the lyrics back. I was like, oh my God, you don't hear that here. Because everyone's like... Like, I remember I was at a Phoebe show in 2022 and she did Motion Sickness and I was...
Not crying, because as we know, but I was like, I was, I was, I was like moving in my emotion of crying. I just felt so overwhelmed by the music. You were just going. Like, I was like. With no tears. Essentially. And, but I was so moved by it. And then I remember looking around and everyone was like, oh, I hate it here. Yeah. That's sad. I'm always heartened by people who are feeling things, obviously. Yeah. Yeah.
Like, yes, that is how it is. That is how it is. Stop pretending. Yeah. Yeah. Do you have, sorry, this is like a 180, but do you have a favorite lyric on the album or any favorite lyrics? I like on Forever is a Feeling, the title track, there's a bunch of lyrics that I really like, which actually was a song that at the
Towards the end of recording, I was like, I have all these bits and bobs that never got made into full songs, and I just kind of stitched them together. Uh-huh. So it's a lot of my darlings in one thing. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah.
But I like the bridge of that song a lot. It's like, I'm not going to say all of the lyrics, but there's, I will say a lyric from Lost Time, like the last song, which kind of sums up the whole record, which is like nothing lasts forever, but let's see how far we get. So when it comes my turn to lose you, I'll have made the most of it. But you can't cry. No, I can't, but I'll feel it. That's really beautiful. Thanks. Yeah.
That's just how I feel. Like, just make the most of the connection that you have and, like, sayonara if it stops. Do you, did you, was that something you, like, learned over time? Like, living in the moment and appreciating everything around you? Or has that always kind of been your mindset? I definitely hold on to it more now. Yeah.
I just think as you get older, temporality is so obvious. And when you're young, it is harder to actually learn. And I, like, as a kid, had people close to me die. And I know a lot of people in their straight-up 30s that have never experienced grief. What? Which is, like, kind of cool because I'm like, you're going to get around to it for sure. Yeah. But I think...
Having a little bit early on in life just like has made me super aware of that always impending state of being. Right. And so the flip side of grief is gratitude, right? Like I'm very grateful for what I have because I know it will be gone eventually.
Um, either from straight up death, um, or just choice, like things will change. Yeah. And have you, is that, did that grief kind of lead you into writing or were you always a writer and a creative? I feel like I've always written and not usually about grief though.
I remember when I was really young, there's a really sweet home video of like, I held a concert for my family after my grandpa died and I played guitar and I was like, I wrote this song for grandpa and I, without Fred, it like holding any of the strings down, like just open strings. I went boom, boom.
for like minutes, like the exact same, like plucking the six strings in a particular order. And all the adults are like, thank you. It's so sweet. Like, and wanting it to be over. So I maybe, yeah, I guess I have had like a connection to like music is kind of like acknowledging, like,
Things that matter. Right. Whether that's celebration or grief or whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Is that Manchester? Yeah. It is Manchester. Whatever. Yeah. Do you remember like the first song you ever wrote? I've always like written little bits and bobs and there are older songs than this, but the first song I ever wrote that I like recorded on GarageBand and like showed to friends is called Purple Breeze. And it's like...
purple breeze, take me away. Like, I have no reasons to stay. I'm willing to leave today. Like, actually really moving. Gross.
We're going to overcome these meds here and now. It's just very juvenile and sweet. And you got to start somewhere. You do have to start somewhere. Forever is a feeling. So you said that was one of the last tracks you wrote for the album because it was everything kind of put together. Kind of like when you have leftovers in a fridge kind of making what you have. But so did you come up with...
the name for the album after that song? One of the bits was Forever is a Feeling. Oh, okay. Just, I had that written in a note, like, that's just something I think. And so it went into the song, and then it became the title. Are you nervous to put the album out, or excited, or just kind of like... I'm so nervous, because, like, I really put so much of myself into it, and you can't control how people react and...
So yeah, I'm really nervous. I just hope to the people that... I just have to think about the people that might get something from it and think that that is important for some reason. Do you have a song that you're most nervous about? And on the flip side, do you have a song that you're most excited for people to hear? I'm a little nervous about Big Deal, but I'm also very excited. That's like the first song that I sing on. She loves Big Deal. Ugh.
that's the thing is i'm like why did we not make that a single i might talk we will put it out next week or something yeah i like i kind of feel like why like that is one of the the ones that i like the most but then it's the first song so i'm like people are gonna have to hear it anyways um but it is uh thank you for liking it um but you know there's some you know
For those paying attention, you know, super fit. I put some just personal details in there. That they'll catch on. Yes. And then what I'm really excited about. I mean, it could just be the same answer. And then, yeah, the title track is kind of interesting. It's like a little bit weird. It's like not really one genre. A lot of different things happen.
Maybe it's a little more poppy than I usually go for. I love it. Thanks. Maybe that's why I love it so much. Wait, do you have a favorite? I love Forever is a Feeling. Cool. And I love Ankles. Ankles. And I love the closing track. Last Time. Yeah, I love Last Time. Actually, my favorite is Bullseye.
Bullseye is my favorite just because I love you and Hosea are like trade verses so beautifully. And then when you come together on that second chorus together, like your voices blend so beautifully. And as I was telling you, I love that lyric about like clearing out your house and moving. And I think a lot of the album is so present. Ankles is so present. Tell me if I'm wrong. I feel like Forever's a Feeling is so present. It's all like, it's a love record, but yeah.
I thought it was really beautiful that with love comes reminiscing and nostalgia. And I thought that it was just like really explained beautifully on Bullseye. And I just thought your voices sounded so good together. That's so sweet. It's true. Very heartening. It's true. I really, really loved Bullseye. And yeah, I just, I don't know. I love, I love a duet. Yeah. There, there's not that many duets.
There's features. Right. But like that's a true duet. Fully a duet. That's a true duet. Yeah. It's like old school. Yeah. It's kind of like, well, when you write with Boy Genius, like do you guys all write together or do you do you come with a song one day? Someone else comes with a song one day. How does that? Some songs we write totally separately and then just like harmonize on or hand like you take this verse or whatever. Other songs, someone will bring a bit and then we'll all work on it.
Julian's more often the one that will be like, I need to go away for a couple hours and we'll come back with something. Whereas I'm like, well, it could be this or this or this or this or this. And Phoebe will kind of like Rolodex through them and be like, this one's the closest, give me more options. Right. And I'll be like this or this or this. But there's not like one way that it happens. Yeah. For me, that's more like working on assignment than my music, which I don't have like any...
method other than like do it when it's happening right do you how did boy genius come together um phoebe opened for julian i opened for julian on the same tour she struck up friendships with both of us and talked us up to each other and then phoebe and i met and then wanted to hang out they had a tour
uh that they were going to go on that they like wanted help selling tickets which is so funny now to think about and so they like had me open and then we were like well let's do a song together right this tour we're gonna do and then it was six songs in a band and that was 2018 and it just like was a way bigger thing than we thought it would be and uh then we went off to do our own things we're like we'll probably get back together and then covid happened and
Yeah, it just took like years and years to actually get back to it. Right. Do you have a favorite song off that album? Of my own? I really like True Blue and We're In Love. We're In Love I feel really good about. I love Anti-Curse. I love Letter to an Old Poet.
Everybody really brought like such good stuff. Emily, I'm sorry is such a good song. I love Emily. I'm sorry. Yeah. I love cool about it too. Cool about it's good too. Cool about it's so good. I just love that lyric. Once I took your medication to know what it's like, and now I have to pretend like I can't read your mind. I love that lyric. That bitch. Yeah. Like, damn. That's, that's the thing about when like, when Phoebe brings stuff, I'm like, you done it again. It's like,
Yeah, I'm often like blown over by the shit she has to say. Yeah. Do you have anything that you are therapist about? Let me think of a good one. Like for me today, my bladder is really small. Do you need to pee? A little. She should go. This is your show. Come on.
It really has to be. Is that okay? Yes. Okay. I'll be right back. You ruminate on that therapist. Okay, yeah. I'm actually going to check the note on my phone. Okay. This episode of Therapist is brought to you by Booking.com. Booking. Yeah! Sorry, Nolan told me I have to keep the mic away when I do that. Now that I'm not on tour...
I don't need to book hotels or anything right now. However, I'm going to New York in a few weeks and you bet your ass I'll be using Booking.com to book me a stay because Booking.com makes it so easy and so quick to book your perfect stay. Okay? You put in
all the things you need. So I want a gym. If I want a terrace, if I need walkability, which we know I need because I don't drive, whatever I need for wherever I'm staying, you put it in and they show you the list of hotels or rentals that have it and you book it and it's easy. You could also book a
car on it. They offer everything so you can like really fill out your vacation on it and make it easy and accessible. Like booking.com is really just about like making everything like easier for you. Like it's just so much easier. Like when we were on tour, I remember I would say like we would show up to these cities and we wouldn't have a place booked and then we'd have
like instead of scrambling, we would just put it in and find somewhere and click it and book it on booking.com. And I'm not even just saying that we really did do that. And it was the easiest thing ever. It took away so much anxiety for me. I get the worst travel anxiety, but like knowing that like booking.com will help me find a place to stay. Just like, they will always have a place to stay for me that meets all of my criteria and all of my needs. Like it takes such a weight off of me when I'm traveling or where I'm going, when I'm going somewhere. Um,
It really is just the easiest and most efficient way to book travel, in my opinion. So find exactly what you're booking for on booking.com. Booking. Yeah!
Also, special thanks to Alo Moves for sponsoring tonight's episode. As you guys know, I love the Alo Gym. And when I'm on tour, I obviously can't go. But I used Alo Moves because they have like my favorite instructors. Like they have Laura who teaches me Pilates. And I was able to go to the gym wherever I was and do the class. And I know it didn't feel like I was – it felt as close to the Alo Gym as I could possibly get without actually being there.
And, you know, you can choose from like beginner to intermediate to like a five minute class to a 20 minute class. Like they have all the they have a million in one options for whatever you need. And like it really just like is like the alo gym on the go. Honestly, I know that like I look like an idiot sometimes when I work out. But if you want to look like an idiot with me, you can download alo moves and have the same instructors I have and do the same things I'm doing. And we can look like idiots together.
But really, Aloe Moves was my, like, lifesaver on tour. Like, I just have so much trouble working out, like, with me in my own head. So Aloe Moves makes it feel like I'm with a trainer that I'm comfortable with. Or it just makes – it, like, gives me a third party of someone telling me what to do. So I feel like there's a start time and an end time, which there is. And, like, there's a certain amount to complete as opposed to just, like, leaving it open-ended. Oh.
Oh, also, and this was very important for me on tour, they also have an Art of Sleep series. This completely transformed my sleep schedule, like, entirely. Sleep is, like, equally as important as a workout. So even if you're not looking for a workout, Allo Moves has something for you. The Art of Sleep series seriously changed my entire sleep. It's so hard for me to sleep on tour, and this really saved me. This was, like, this was really, really helpful. Reset your personal wellness routine with Allo Moves.
Go to alamoves.com now and use code THERAPUS for an exclusive 30-day free trial and 20% off an annual membership. That's alamoves.com, code THERAPUS. alamoves.com, code THERAPUS. Thanks, Alamoves, for sponsoring tonight's episode. Love you guys. Are you a little monster? Are you a little monster? I'm getting there now.
now. I mean, I've always loved and I remember. So basically, yes, but I feel like people are more like they know everything, whereas everything I do know delights me, but I don't know everything. In the music videos,
The best ones. They're the best ones. They're the best. She is the one doing it. She is. And some of them. Yeah. Anyways, the first time I saw Lady, I've been asking people, do you remember the first time you saw Lady Gaga? And the first time I saw she was a guest star on Just Dance, the dancing with the stars. She was. So it was like when Just Dance came out, it was promo for the song Just Dance. And.
And it was just on my TV suddenly with my parents like in our house and I forget I was like, you know, a single digit age. Right. And my mom was like, what is this? This is terrible. I don't even I can't even tell what she looks like. I like what is this? What I get? What are the words? It's turn it off. Like just terrible. And I'm just sitting there like.
eating it up, like seeing for the first time, basically. Which I feel like a lot of people I know have similar... Do you remember when you first saw Lady Gaga? Okay, so it was dress dance. I don't remember the first time I ever saw her, but I remember...
Being in my mom's bedroom and I was playing the radio and Just Dance was on. And I remember, all I remember is this feeling of like, I want to hear that song again and again and again and again and again and again for the rest of my life. And then I didn't know. And I remember trying, I think I tried calling in being like, please play Just Dance by Lady Gaga. I think I was like eight. And then I remember the first time though, I saw Poker Face and
It was very recent. It was very... It was shortly after that. I was in my neighbor's, like, addict area. And she was like, Lady Gaga has a new music video. It's called Poker Face. And I just remember seeing that and being like... I just remember being like, okay, there's before and after now. Yes. And then that's how I felt with Lady Gaga. And I was... I still am the biggest little monster. I love her. And I just... But my parents never let me see her live when I was a kid because it was so... But she did... So what? It was so, like...
on the nose and graphic and like well i ain't got what they meant but then i remember going to my friend's house and watching the fame monster on hbo because she did like a concert special and i remember being like okay like i wouldn't want to sit here as a 10 year old and watch this with my mom no yeah you got to find it on your own time yeah have that moment yeah but i just remember being like loving her and i love that album that's one of my favorite albums of all time the fame monster i'd love every song on that album do you have a favorite album of all time
Of all time ever. I guess I should just say no because so many just came to mind. Well, what came to mind? And also like most listened to is maybe not favorite though. My most listened to record is probably I need to start a garden by Haley Hendricks. Okay. Who's a friend and a sweetheart. And I listened to it on planes, like every plane ride. And I fly like too much because some tours, like you have to fly in between every freaking date. Um,
And so I have listened to that so much. And she's an unsung hero, I think. Or some people are singing, but more people should be singing. Yeah. She's a hero. She's like a folk icon to me. I'm excited to listen to it. I've never heard it. I'm excited. Just one of the most beautiful voices. Yeah. Sweet people. I'm excited. I'm trying to think.
I'm trying to think of other albums that I'm front to fucking back. This is my shit. This is a lame answer, but there's a Nina Simone compilation album. Compilation feels like a cop-out, but it's her love songs that I listen to all the time. All of the time. She's amazing. Labi Sifra, the singer in the song, is I think one of the best records of all time. Sorry, who? Labi Sifra. He...
was, uh, he's still alive, but his career was mostly in the seventies and, um, check my work on this too. But I think he's like a black gay man and was writing, uh,
songs about women because the label that he was on wanted that and they were like don't write songs about men and he was like this is killing me inside. Right. And I think he got dropped but he started writing about the men that he loves and the way he writes about love is so like profound and simple and like his voice is so just clear and like of nature. I don't know. Yeah. And I read... Like you were meant to do this. Yes. Yeah. I read like a very...
sad article about how he and his longtime partner, they both started seeing another person for many years, which is really good. They were all in love. I love hearing stories like that. Both of them passed in a short amount of time. He said in the article, the rest of my life is grief. I think that rings in my head so much, but also...
It's clear that he has loved so much. It's weird to talk about someone I don't know. I guess that's what, like, this is like me, like, that's what you do in culture, but I see him so much as a person that has just gone through a lot, but also seems to me like a great lover. Yeah.
I'm excited to listen to everything you just told me about. So good. I'm excited. I'm trying to think if there's something like per your taste that you just revealed, if there's something like you have to listen to this. Please, I would love it. I don't know if you'd like Jenny Haval. Do you know Jenny Haval? I know the name. She's like, I think Norwegian or Swedish.
Sorry. I love Swedish pop stars. But it's like very, do you know Mitski? I do know Mitski. Mitski is the best. Love her, love her. And one of her favorite artists is Jenny Haval. And she's very like thinky and it's like electronic and it's weird. Yeah. And like some of the songs are like experimental sound pieces and then other ones are absolute bops. So. I love that. Yeah. Yeah.
I'll just listen to an album through and be like, okay, I'm getting a few bops. I'm getting a few think pieces. Right. Enjoying. Yes. I love finding an album because I have such a short attention span that I can listen to through and through. I think one of those for me is Calico by Ryan Beattie. A gorgeous voice. Like so gorgeous or maybe. Yes. It went away. It went away.
But I love Calico by Ryan Beattie. Good. Yeah. Yeah. Really beautiful voice. I just love every... I love...
like gay love songs so like i love frank ocean i love ryan beattie oh yeah blonde oh we're talking about best records what how are we not talking about blonde is the i remember listening to that uh i think it was my senior my junior year in high school and i was in like this area uh i was in the north fork of long island and it was there was like a lot it was like um a very uh calm like
it was like bays and like a lot of trees a lot of forest and I remember being like this is where I'm supposed to be listening to this album yeah I love when things line up like that you know what I mean yes yeah I do kind of think the way we listen to music is different now
It's so like mood oriented. Uh-huh. You know, because you can listen to anything at any time. So you're like, here's my scenario. So I'll match it with music. Oh, I never even thought about it like that. Because you can now. Yes. I remember calling in to like the Disney. Radio Disney. Me too. Radio Disney. Absolutely. What did you call in? Do you remember? I think I wanted to hear the new Cody Simpson song. Oh.
And, but I remember, because I didn't have an iPod at the time, and I didn't have a computer. Or an iPod shuffle. Or an iPod shuffle. I had nothing. So the only way I could hear Just Dance was if I begged the radio to play again and again and again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I remember calling in to hear Ashley Tisdale. He said, she said. And she said. On Disney Channel, Radio Disney, like a lot. Yeah. So I was like, hmm.
I don't know, like Sassy or like the Cheetah Girls soundtrack. Oh, that soundtrack? Talk about underrated. I should rewatch that movie. I bet that the fits are so fire. They are. Yeah. One and two are the best ever. The song on two, I prefer the soundtrack. Actually, you know what? The soundtrack is so different on one and two. I love on one, remember Cinderella? Yeah.
I don't want to be like Cinderella. Oh, yes. Love that one. And then I also love Why Wait on. You're so much deeper. No. If you played it, I'd be like, cool, cool. I'd be like knowing, but the title, you know, the title. No, Cheetah Girls like was my shit. Okay, yeah. Like that was like, I was like, oh, I like that.
I think that was like, I think before Gaga, it was, it was the cheetah girls. I was like, Oh, I like pop music and I like what's going on here. Yeah. Yeah. Did you ever think about what you were a therapist about? Yes. I'm making a choice between two things that I'm therapist about. Okay. I'm going to, this one's not that fun. It's what I'm actually therapist about right now.
Um, renewable energy is a hoax. Tell me more. I'm so, well, okay. I'm re I've known like shades of this through time. Okay. And not all the, like, don't get mad at me and also prove me wrong. But what I am reading is like, first of all, if you are doing, if you have like an electric car, right. But electricity is still on coal.
if the grid is still on coal, you are just adding a step and buying a car that is then necessitating like lithium mining, which is terrible. Like the making a battery is really bad for the environment. Solar panels only last 25 years, also have a bunch of mining and they are going to be a trash soon. And what are we going to do with all these solar panels? Um,
And also the battery space for the energy that's made is like more batteries that we're having to mine. Hydroelectric is really bad for environments and like building dams. Basically, like it can really disrupt natural habitats, wind turbines, you know, other than just killing wildlife. They shake the ground.
Which can make it not usable for animal farming or agriculture, like growing things, and can give severe health problems to the people nearby. Okay. I don't know. You're maybe getting the point. I'm reading this book that is making me know these things. So I'm very pissed because it felt like, and being like, recycling is the thing, and then recycling often is fake. Right. I still do it. It's like sending a prayer. Right. Yeah, yeah.
You know, give it to God. Give my plastic to this box. The blue box. Yeah. And just hope for the best. But I basically think that all these like solutions that people are trying to come up with are to legitimize the amount of use when actually like the problem is like the use of
of these things is terrible the internet itself also like the amount of servers that are used for search engines all of your unopened email like I have like 10,000 emails or something like all of the storage is also needing like I don't know I'm I'm just legitimately pissed about all of this and I'm like as you should be I you know in my head I'm just like there will be a point in my life where I am like growing my own food and stuff and I'm like
Why am I not doing that right now? And it's because I don't have the land. That's the other thing is being like, oh, it's just as easy as that. People can't buy land. The intersections of capitalism making it impossible for people to eat healthy, live healthy, be okay. And yeah, so I feel a little bit pissed about that. Yeah, that's a very righteous thing to be pissed about. What do you think then the answer is for...
If it's not renewable energy, what do you do? It would be amazing. It's like, and here's the answer, everyone. But like...
No, I'm so glad you finally asked me because I've been like waiting for somebody to ask. And I've been sitting on this for a long time. Yeah, I think, again, like the recycling thing, it's a prayer. It's the best that people have told. It's okay. We're not scientists. We can't catch up and go to 10 years of college and grad school and be like, your study is wrong, you know? Right, right. But...
Yeah, just realizing that a lot of science is bought by the military. And, you know, the studies that are chosen, you know, these oil companies, they buy scientists because these people go to school and then they need a job. And the people that have big money are the military and oil companies. And so the studies are like, it's fine. Like they're biased because they create the studies in order to get results that they want. Science is important in general, but like,
You can't have faith in every study because who funded it and why. I actually remember learning about that in high school. They were always like, look who funded this study. You should always check out who funded this study and that should tell you everything you need to know. Wow. We own JSTOR. Check it out. Who funded this study? Yes! I was on JSTOR! Got JSTOR. Yeah. I got to get back on my JSTOR tip. I saw someone with a JSTOR hat and I was like... That's a lot. That's a lot.
I liked it. It's a lot, but I guess I like a lot. Because what else? A little? I guess you're kind of right. I guess you're kind of right. It was a lot. That's a lot. And it was everything. It was everything. And maybe their J store house was everything too. A lot is closer to everything and not much is closer to nothing. Yes.
I needed that today. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. I needed that. With that being said, should we get into the tell me what's wrong? Oh, yeah. Brace yourself. Seriously. I just walked in on my parents, but they've been divorced for five years. Let that sink in. Help. Maybe I should run away. Well, I wouldn't run away. I actually think that's kind of beautiful. What's the what advice you need? I don't know. That's what I'm wondering. I mean, I guess it's like walking on your parents. It's like horrendous. Yeah, I'm sorry.
About that. Yeah. But they've been, they've been separated for five years. I'm just like, there's so many other details. Was it a bad separation? Is there one parent that you're like, no, don't let this happen again. The other one, do you like them? Right. You know, like it is totally their business.
I'm a big believer in walking in on, like, sex should be for the people that decided to be there. Like, observed, I don't like observing sex that I wasn't invited to. Okay, period. And I don't like that for that person. Yeah. I hope they can get over it. I hope they can get over it, too. My brother's best friend, every time he gets drunk, constantly makes fun of me, jokes about me, and is just an asshole. How do I stop this? Again, there's so many factors. I would talk to your brother.
I'm like, will that work? Probably not. It's only when the brother's drunk. It's when the brother's best friend is drunk. And he's like making... I mean, I think in some twisted way, he probably has a crush on you. Oh. Which is like gross, but... Wait, so it's the brother's best friend that is drunk and mean to the brother of the brother? Brother or sister. Sister. Yeah. True. Unclear. I made assumptions. I made gay assumptions. No, I do that all the time. Yeah, I mean...
they should talk when he's not drunk. Yeah. And also like just physical boundaries of like, if you know that's happening, it depends on how young you are. Like childhood's so hard cause you have to be in your house. Oh, but also like, uh, depending on if you can go to a friend's house, like just get out of that situation. Right. Um,
Unless you kind of want to check and see if they have a crush. My best friend and her boyfriend are doing long distance. He lives close to me. She went out of the country. So he comes to me for everything. Issues that he needs to go to his girlfriend about, but he doesn't want to. I've tried distancing myself, but he will call me nonstop or call my other friends asking me where I'm at. What should I do? Because this is becoming too much. They said that they've already tried to set boundaries against it. Yeah, and it's not. I would talk to the friend. I will say, do you watch Housewives?
I have seen episodes, but I am not in the way people are. Okay, so in the new season of Beverly Hills, Kyle is talking to Dorit's ex-husband. They're separated now, and it's just messy. So I would acknowledge it with your friend sooner rather than later before it gets out of control because it sounds like the friend isn't aware that they're talking about these things.
Right. And maybe just be like, look, I've been, I'm sorry. Honesty is always the best policy. It really is true. Yep. Like attack it head on before it gets out of control, which it sounds like it is. I would say,
Even the step before that, I would go because sometimes what I've learned is sometimes I think I set boundaries and one, the person doesn't respect them or I didn't do a very good job. Okay. So I'll have to be like, hey, when I was like, I need some time. What I actually meant was I don't want to see you for like this amount of time. Yeah. So maybe be like, hey, don't come to me with any problems regarding our friend. And I really encourage you to do this yourself. Right.
Right. Because ultimately, if just put it out there that like if you come to me again, I will bring it to her, which is not what you want. Right. So I'm just going to be clear that that is the path. Yes. I love that. Yeah. That was great advice. Great. That was awesome. That was like a real solution. I'm going to get a degree when I get out of here. You are in therapy. Therapist. From Puss University. Yes.
I've been in a situation ship for like two years and I can't seem to get myself out of it. We both, we've both had spells of getting with other people, but she refuses to commit to me. We hang out quite often, but have only actually hooked up a few times because she's too afraid of being intimate. Same. She gets with so many other people though. No problem. She refuses to be vulnerable and runs away from a real relationship. What should I do? Um, the person that wrote this, if there has to be somebody in the wrong, they're the one in the wrong.
I think when you say situationship, I'm like, that sounds like you're not willing to admit that you have different ideas of expectations. Okay. Being like, oh, it's a such, if you're waiting for somebody to change, you are not accepting what they have to offer. Like,
That to me sounds like this person is like being like, oh, I'm afraid of being intimate. Maybe if they want to get with other people, then they can. If it hurts you, you can like, what do you mean you can't get out of it? Yeah. Does that mean you're choosing to do it? Right. That's just maybe how it is. Like being like, you need to have this real relationship is like, maybe one of the reasons it's not happening is that they don't want it and they're not willing to say it because they like you.
And they want connection with you, but they don't want it on your terms. But they are afraid you're going to drop them because of, you know, and who knows? I'm like maybe projecting a lot. No, no, I get that. But I think like one of the big recent lessons of the past years of my life is just like getting super for real about what people have to offer. And when it's less than what I want, still drop.
Accepting it. And being like, that's a gift. Unless it feels bad. And being like, I have to make other choices. Right. And ultimately, there might be someone obsessed with you. Right. That you're missing out on. Yes. So, I don't know all the details. But per this exercise, that's what I have to say. Well, enough said. That was great. Thanks. That was great. You're bringing this, like, new perspective. Because, like, if that was just me there, I'd be like, fuck that. I'm like...
I think the person writing it needs to have self-respect. And also self-awareness. Yeah. Self-awareness is key. I have actually zero chemistry with anyone I find attractive. Like, I'm so unbelievably extroverted. I feel like I wrote this. Oh. When it comes to friends and parties, but the second someone's good-looking or, God forbid, giving me attention, I shut down. Please help. I feel this way, too. Okay. I feel – I think it's that I'm so uncomfortable in my own body that, like, I don't have time with them.
I mean, I'm like, that definitely is about something not romantic, right? Like, that's like, okay, how do, like, help me. It's like, you have to love yourself so you can agree with whoever loves you. As RuPaul said, in other words. But, yeah. I don't know why I'm talking like I know. I feel like my tone is like, I know what to say. No, it's really wise. Yeah, that just sounds very sad. And...
Like just fear. But that's one specifically I'm like, okay, are you shutting down because you're afraid that you won't live up to their expectations? Are you shutting down because you're afraid that one day you'll lose them? You will. Right. Are you shutting down because you have body image issues and that's something that you want to address? Are you shutting down because of like...
You've told yourself that you're going to shut down and it's just this obsessive thing. Like it's an intrusive thought that you aren't up for this. There's so many different angles of that. And I would recommend therapy.
Therapists. Therapists. Therapists. And speed date therapist. Not all therapists are the same. They are not. Yeah. You should take like five sessions at a time. Oh. And then if you're finding a new therapist, don't be like, I'll try one for a year and then see. Have like actual sessions with a bunch or an amount that you can pay for or that are available and be like, actually, yeah.
This one is the best. That's actually a really smart idea. We prescribe speed dating therapy. Therapists. Therapists. Therapists speed dating. Yeah. Yeah. That's actually really smart. Thanks. Because I'm always like, well, I'm with one for a year and then, oh God, I'm learning something new.
I met this guy back in February and fell for him immediately. He would stay up with me all night and just talk. We would talk about our dreams, goals, and future, and family. He told me he wanted to meet my family and have a family with me, then he ghosted me out of nowhere, SOS. My thing with ghosting, did you just give yourself a paper cut? Yeah. Do you, let me see. I think it's fine. Is there actually a cut? Do you need a band-aid? Thank you. No, I'm okay. I think I'm okay. Okay. What were you saying? Thank you for that. I need a band-aid.
So sorry. No, it's okay. The thing about ghosting is that person revealed something about them that makes them unfit to be your partner. Mm-hmm.
I'm just like, if you're getting ghosted by somebody, you now know that they're avoidant, that they can't, they're not brave. Like, maybe everything was going great, and you've just now learned what should be enough information to tell you that they're not it. Right. Usually, that's, I think, what my advice would be. Yeah, as someone who has ghosted people in the past, and I'm not proud of it, like, that is why. I've ghosted people. That's the thing. Ghosting is not a...
All the time, bad thing. Because there's actually people I've tried to communicate, like, or I just don't trust them ultimately. So I don't, who knows about this situation? I'm not saying that the person's not trustworthy, but like ghosting is sometimes the last resort. Like you have to do it. And of course the person's going to be mad. They also, maybe you're ghosting them because they were not listening to you. Right. And it was over. You've already had the conversation so many times.
Period. Do you have a song about ghosting? I have a song where I say I'm a ghost. That works. Yeah. It's called The Shell. All right. Well, we put The Shell. Yeah. Me and my roommate keep getting in fights because I like to sleep freezing and she literally has the thermostat at 75. Oh my God. This is a nightmare. And it's so awkward. I'd like to change it and she changes it back. We've talked about it, but there's no agreement. You have talked about it and there's no agreement. You should maybe find another roommate. Number one that, but in the meantime, I have an idea. Okay.
You should switch off nights. One night's 75, one night's colder. The nights that it's 75, you use your fan and like in-room like cooling stuff. And then the nights that it's colder, your roommate can use like in-room heating stuff because like there's like heating fans as well. That's my prescription. That's really nice. Yeah. Yeah. Compromise. Yeah. Because that's hard. Like if you love each other and you really like living together and that's the one thing, I like your idea better. Do you sleep cold or hot?
I sleep no matter what. Oh, wow. Love that. It's kind of amazing. That's amazing. Yeah. I sleep freezing cold. It's better for you health wise. Oh, awesome. Yeah. So maybe that's another thing is that the person who's sleeping cold should make a PowerPoint and convince the other person. I don't understand how someone can sleep hot. I don't understand. Also like wear, get a better blanket. There's other things, you know. Does your partner sleep cold or sleep hot or also sleeps no matter what?
sleeps terribly no matter what. Oh. Yeah. Interesting. That's the combo. Yeah. Our roommate said that if we don't share all our food with him that we are selfish people. What? I've had this energy in my life. Really? What do you do with people like this? Okay, go ahead. We called him out on that and now he's not speaking with us. We have to keep living with him for the next eight months. What do we do? Oh my God. This one's actually nightmarish to me.
I mean, at least you and your other roommates seemingly are on the same page. It's like when they're cooking, they're not factoring him in. Or is it like when you go grocery shopping, I get that stuff. I think what's the money aspect? Is it like, I don't really get it, but I remember I used to, Brett and Julia used to cook with me without me all the time. And I used to be furious. So like, I've been the other roommate, but like,
The fact that he won't speak to you because you're not down to share the food is a little wild. That is really wild. Like, take care of yourself. Oh, my God. You don't... Like, I'm so... Anyone that's like, you're mean for not feeding me, are you four years old? Right. No. It sounds like you know you have an out and you have eight months of unpleasantness. And if you want to have a whole talk about, like, meal planning or him contributing money for stuff or, like...
Whatever. Whatever. Do it. And if not, just like indoor. Indoor. Yeah. I prescribe the show Worst Roommate Ever on Netflix. Okay. To remind yourself that things could be worse. Or the movie Roommate with Leighton Meester. That's a horror movie. Things could be worse. Well, Lucy, what did we learn today? I learned that renewable energy is a hoax.
I learned that the last time you cried, it was in LA at the Macaroni. Yeah. Macaroni Republic. Macaroni Republic. Yes. I learned. I love this. Oh, that's Patrick. Patrick. This is Cassandra. Cassandra? Yeah. That's crazy.
she comes with me everywhere wow i got a tiny one of these for my brother who loves octopuses oh he does i should talk to him he loves them he really i gave him an iou for a tattoo he wants like a whole tattoo piece and yeah i love and i've had a great time everyone told me you'd be nice oh that's such a good they were right
Did you have fun? Yeah, absolutely. I had a great time. Thank you for my tea. I think this is the calmest I've ever been. In your life? Yes. That's delightful. Well, Lucy, I really, really enjoyed spending time with you. Yeah, likewise. Stream Lucy's forthcoming album, Forever's a Feeling, out March 28th. Or else. Or else. You'll never know.
What? Forever feels like. Yeah, it's true. Lucy, you want to say bye to the pussies? Bye, pussies. Bye, pussies.