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Hi, pussies. Welcome back to Therapist. Tonight we have on Amelia de Moldenberg. She is host of Chicken Shop Date. She is so funny, so incredible. I look up to her so much. It was such an honor to get to have her here and ask her so many questions about how she does what she does because it's not easy to connect with so many different people. And it's so incredible to see. And I just was so thrilled.

to ask her all about it. And I'm so excited for you guys to get to know her more if you don't already. This week, I guess for life updates, I'm still teetering down on my meds. I'm on 40s. I forgot to take them today. So, you know. But that's reminding me I need to...

do that. My OCD is out of control, as you can tell. I'm, like, second-guessing every word that comes out of my mouth, even the word that just came out of my mouth. I'm, like, literally having an OCD attack right now. It's just because when I get really excited or nervous about something, my OCD really flares up, and it's really flaring up right now, and I'm really trying to control it, but, like,

it's not well and I'm really I know it's just I'm really trying and I think I really need to get into exposure therapy because I think it's the only thing that will help me but it just sucks because I remember there was a time period where my meds were really working it was like that and a mixture of exposure therapy was like perfect it was like it basically like not didn't go away but was so quiet for a period of time and it was like perfect and

But then obviously SSRIs don't really work after a time period. So I need to figure it the fuck out. I think I just trauma dumped on you guys. I'm so sorry. But it is true. But yes, tonight we have Amelia de Moldenberg. This week I am in New York. So right now I'm in LA, but when you are watching this, I will be in New York. My OCD is telling me not to say that, which is insane, but I just have to say that out loud. I don't know what the fuck is going on. I'm literally having a mental breakdown. Um,

But yeah, it's about to be summer. I don't know what else to say. I'm freaking out. I need to take my meds. Holy fuck. I'm going to tell you about what I'm listening to and what I'm watching before we get into tonight's episode. I am listening to Bon Iver's new album. I'm also listening to a lot of Claro because I saw her at Coachella and she was incredible. I'm watching, obviously, the new season of Hacks. It's amazing. I'm also watching The Last of Us.

I did not see... Well, I guess hopefully by the time that this airs, I will have seen the first two episodes. Apparently last night's episode was... Was it that good? I think you're going to like A Long, Long Time better. Really? But story-wise... No spoilers. No spoilers. Story-wise, it's the most important. Really? Yeah. Oh my god, I'm so excited. Like gagged? Like you're gagged? We'll see. Oh my god, I'm pumped. And Caitlin Deaver was here! So I cannot wait...

To watch it. I'm so excited. I'm still watching Veep, which is just hilarious and perfect. And Julia Louis-Dreyfus is just unbelievable. And I'm very much enjoying that. I'm also still watching Real Housewives of New York, which is just the best ever. And I just finished The Leftovers, which changed my fucking life, you guys. You need to watch The Leftovers. And so the first season, you're going to watch it and you're going to be like, okay.

you're really going to have to push. Beginning of the second season, you're also going to have to push. Then it starts to rev up and up and up and up. And the third season is just like one of the best seasons of television I think I've literally ever seen in my life. It is unbelievable. This show will actually change your life. Like,

It'll like the finale of it. I'm not, obviously not gonna give anything away, but you're sitting there and you're like, what the fuck did I just watch? Didn't you feel that same way? I was like, I was like mind fucked by that show. Cause I was like, what's happening right now? Tonight is Amelia de Moldenberg. And it's also an amazing episode. I really, really hope you guys like it. She is so funny. Um,

I'm headed back out on the road May 16th. I begin in San Francisco. Go to passthatpuss.com and click live with Jake Shane to see if I'm coming to a city near you. And go to passthatpuss.com and click tell me what's wrong to tell me what's wrong. Leave a name and number if you're feeling fancy. Enjoy tonight's episode, pussies. I love you guys so much.

Hi pussies, welcome back to Therapus. Today we have the legend, Amelia de Moldenberg. Well done. You got it right. Well, I was very scared because I was telling you I just pronounced subsequent wrong. Yeah. And what did you say? Subsequent? Subsequent. Subsequent. Okay. Sounds like one of these should be called. Or it's like the name of like an ocean, a body of water. Yeah.

Well, well done. DeMoldenberg. Yay! Thank you for having me. I'm so happy to be here. I'm so happy you're here. Thank you. When did Chicken Chop Date start?

It actually started 10 years ago. What? I know. Well, actually now nearly like 11 years, like over 10 years ago. And before that, that was when the first YouTube video was. And before that it was a column in a magazine, like which I started when I was 17. So yeah. Um, a long time basically. And it was always called chicken shop day. Always called chicken shop day. Yeah. And you would like take people out and chicken. Yeah. I would have first date with them in a chicken shop and we would eat, I would eat chicken nuggets. They would, I'd maybe force them to eat chicken nuggets and,

And yeah, it's just been, it's been a long journey to find my one true love and I'm still, still looking. Same, it's okay. Yeah. Have you ever had a boyfriend? Yeah. Okay, I haven't. Okay, well you're not missing out, so it's fine. Really? Yeah. Did you ever find one? There's a lot of admin, a lot of work. Right, that's what I thought too, but I feel like the guys in the UK are a lot better than the guys here. Really? Yeah.

I don't know. I'm not speaking from experience. Yeah, okay. Well, I don't know. I feel like it's kind of that, like, kind of annoying wherever you go. It's kind of hard to find. What I'm finding at the moment, it's hard to find, like, an emotionally available man.

I think that there's like plenty of guys who are like interested in talking to you. Um, but then they're not sort of serious. Right. There's a lot of unserious men out there. I think I'm not emotionally available. Okay. Okay. Well then I don't think I am. I feel like I'm not either. Right. Like you're busy. Yeah. I'm busy, but also I feel like I'm always like, Oh, I want to try and find my one true love. I want to find my one true love. No, I don't. That's what I think too. I want to work. I want to work. I want to work.

Okay, I'm working. - Wait, so when did it? - No, I need to stop working so much. - Do you like working? - Yeah, I love working. - Me too. - But like when your work is your passion,

How could you not? How can you not? Yeah. Just J'adore to work. J'adore. Oh my God, capitalism is just really like, it's just overwhelming. Basically, yeah, I love to work. When did, but when did Chicken Shop Date take off? Because it felt, I feel like for everyone else, it felt like kind of like this overnight thing.

Right. It's like one day it was just there. But it wasn't. Okay. It was a 10 year journey. No, I know. No, I feel like it became like more people got to know about it, especially in America, like when TikTok was invented.

So it like really took off on the invention of TikTok. Yeah. Really just catapulted, um, the dates to, to new eyeballs. I feel like, yeah. Cause then like my content was being shared more. And then also at that same time, I was able to get more international guests on, um,

And yeah, I feel like maybe the Jack Harlow episode, which was like three years ago or maybe four, was when the American audiences like started to see it. And then I was able to get more and more international guests. And then from there, like it kind of grew. But like that was always the ambition of mine. Like I always wanted it to be like cross genre, like all different types of people from different like cultural like backgrounds.

areas of like music to sport to movies. It just took me a while to like get people to agree to date me. Were you, were you like, do you remember the point where it was like you had stopped reaching out as much and people were coming to you? Maybe like two years ago. Okay. Yeah. But I also feel like this is like,

the rise of like chicken shop date has happened through the rise of like content. Like before I started, when I started chicken shop date, like content didn't exist. Like the algorithms like weren't there that was like feeding us all this content. Like I started chicken shop date because I felt like there was a lack of,

of like a funny like quick fire interview where you were getting to see a different side of someone's personality like everything felt very serious and like about you know someone's musical influences and like a deep dive and I love watching those kinds of interviews but I just felt like there was a space for like some more comedy and now it's like

so like oversaturated with like, with like funny, quirky interviews where they're like having to eat a million things or like having to like try on different hats and like do funny bits and stuff. And so like the landscape has now changed to the point where

you know, talent is more willing to do those kind of interviews. Whereas before when I started, it was just like, why would I do that kind of interview first of all? And second of all, why would I ever do a YouTube interview? Like I'm not even spending time doing YouTube podcasts or anything like podcasts didn't really like even have,

like 10 years ago. So it's just, I've kind of grown with the time, like how media has like changed. Has anyone ever come to you and been like, let's turn this into like a talk show, like a late night show? I guess, yeah, in a way, but like it's never worked out. And then there were times in which I like met with UK broadcasters to like do something with them, but then they wanted to take the copyright, like the rights. And I was always like, no, I want to own like all

all of the rights to the show so then I always just said no to those deals and it's like the best thing I've ever done because now I like completely own everything.

that's amazing I would always say that's my advice to other people too if they just own your shit yes own it because then you just can do whatever you want with it and yeah was there ever like a guest you had that was like so surprising like you just weren't anticipating it to go the way it did I was kind of surprised by Gideon being like so funny I don't know why like I think maybe because his music is quite serious like he's like like love songs like he's really in his feelings and I just like didn't think he would be

so hilarious so I was really pleasantly surprised by him and he actually told me a really cute story I bumped into him at a music festival and he said that like him and his family like re-watch the episode like on the big tv at home like and they like think it's such a great like example of like him and his personality and they love to like re-watch it as a family and I was like that's so cute that's the best compliment so nice yeah when you like get someone's real authentic personality out yeah 100% yeah but I um

yeah and I don't know what other ones have really surprised me but that one stands out and then when did you start like hosting red carpets because you're about to host the Oscars you just hosted SNL 50 yeah it was so I love doing the red carpets I mean do you like doing them I've only done it

I think once. And I. It's MTV. Yeah. And I was literally like, I, first of all, I said yes to that because they said the person that had done it before was you. Oh yeah. So I was like, oh, well she did it. Like I can do this. Like, I think like that's a cool thing to do if she did it. And that's nice. Thank you. It's true. Was that not? It's true. She was like, Amelia did it. I was like, okay. But I was so scared.

Yeah, I get so scared as well. You do? Yeah, I get so nervous. Oh my God. You can't tell. Well, yeah. Well, especially for like... Yeah, I get really, really nervous. And I'm thinking like, am I going to be as nervous as I was last year for the Oscars? Like, I'm hoping that I wasn't. But like last year I had like... I don't think I've ever experienced like a panic attack before, but that must have been what it was because I like couldn't really breathe. And I was like...

And I had to call my sister and I was like, and she was like, just go for a walk. And I was like, okay. So I like went for a walk and I just like, I felt really overwhelmed. And then I went for lunch with my team and it was meant to be a really nice lunch. Like before we do the Oscars, like to celebrate, like just to be nice. And I literally, they were like, are you okay? And I was like, I'm not okay. And I was like, again, like heavy breathing. I was like, oh, like I felt so nervous. But I get nervous because I want to do a good job. Like that's what I get nervous about. And I get nervous. I'm going to blank.

Yeah. Someone's going to come up to me and I've like know exactly who they are. I've like prepped all my questions beforehand and I'm, they're going to come up to me and I'm going to be like, um, so, um,

how are you? And like, it's like, no, don't ask how, cause I'm just like trying my best to like not ask them. Like, are you excited for tonight? Like I'm trying to think of like other questions. Cause like, that's why I want to do, that's why I love doing red carpets. And it's cause I want to be asking questions that like are unusual that people like don't expect. Cause like there's such a long history of like red carpet reporting and some of it is so incredible. And some of it is just like quite repetitive. And,

And I'm trying to ask something different. So I just worry and I get nervous that I'm just going to blank and be like, so like, what are you wearing? Right. Right. I guess the first one was like the GQ man of the year, which was like three years ago. And you still do that. Yeah, I still do that because I love it because they get such a good group of people and I just love GQ and like they're so nice to me there. And it's nice to do like a great one in like the UK and they just always get amazing people. Yeah.

How do you prep for these things? Like, do you always know who you're talking to or, like, how do you... Yeah, they give us a list beforehand of, like, guests, but then that kind of can change and then they can also send, like, names really last minute, which...

I love. And then, yeah, I guess normally like me and my sister and then like another writer will like prep all questions and we'll do general questions that we can ask anyone. And then we'll do individual questions, like five individual questions for each person. Okay. And then I have the, and then I just kind of try and memorize them. And then I like have them on cue cards and,

But then really when I'm interviewing people, I can't even look at my cue card. So I kind of do have to memorize them. And like at SNL 50, I was super nervous and I kept forgetting my questions. And I kept just asking the same questions that my sister was there being like in the in-ears, being like, asking the same questions to me. And I was like, Zoe, I know I do. I'm just like so nervous. Like Kristen Wiig is right there queuing up next to my Rudolph, like all these people. And I was like,

Fred Armisen I was like I can't do it but then I feel like I left being like oh my god I didn't perform very well like and then I then basically a fan I have a fan page like a new fan page that like I didn't have any fan pages for but I have this new one and they are so good at like their edits and so they made an edit of the live stream from SNL 50 and so when I woke up in the morning I watched it like their edit they did a compilation and then I was like oh right you did do a good job

And then I felt better about it because I was like, they had made a really good edit. That is, I feel like, the best feeling in the entire world. But I feel like it's also like, are you the type who sets your expectations low so that it can be like...

Yeah. And it's funny because the first time I did the, when I did the Golden Globes, like I had my expectations so high. I was like, I'm going to get every single person that I've prepped for. Like, what the hell? I'm so deluded. And that's what I would think. Yeah. I was like, I'm going to get everyone. I'm going to get Taylor. I'm going to get react. I was like, I'm going to get an interview with Taylor Swift. I'm going to get an interview with Rihanna and all these people that I'd prepped for. And then I couldn't get like, I could, I couldn't get like hot, like less than half the people that I prepped for. Like, I feel like I only got like 10 people.

and then that really set my expectations right for like then future carpets where I'm just like lucky to get like anyone right right right okay and did you were you so like disappointed in the moment yeah I was I literally left the carpet and I was like I can't believe I can't believe we couldn't get like all the people that I wanted to get even though I got so many amazing interviews but I just like wanted to get like every single person I wanted to do a hundred interviews right in an hour yeah um but

But yeah, no, but that carpet was great because I got like an amazing interview with Andrew Garfield. So it actually ended up being great. Right. Even though at the time we lost the footage to that interview. No, you didn't. Yeah, it was crazy. Like I basically went to bed thinking that we had lost the interview because the memory card had like corrupted. And so I went to bed being like, oh my God, like...

my life's over like my career's over like everything's everything's wrong I was like at the after party of the Golden Globes like trying to have fun and I was like my manager was like can you smile and I was like no I can't I went up to my hotel room I cried because I just knew in the moment you know when you do a great interview you just know like that interview is amazing yes and that's what I felt like in the moment and then when they were like we've lost the footage I was just like what do you mean you've lost the footage what do you mean

Anyway, then I woke up the next day and then they were like, we found the B cam. And I was like, oh, hallelujah. Oh my God. And so, I don't know, like in the interview, there's like all the other interviews you have like the front on camera, the A cam and then the side camera. And for his interview, it's only the side camera. And at the time I was like, oh God, it's not as good. Like, but obviously we still have to put it out.

And actually it turned out to be amazing because now everyone, it feels like you're a fly on the wall because it's the B cam. It's like over the shoulder. It's like your eavesdropping in on the conversation. So it's actually even better. Okay. So actually everything works out.

Everything does... That was the moral of the story. Everything goes out for a reason. Everything happens for a reason. I really believe that. I also believe that. Well, I believe that because if you don't believe that, like, how you can't live. Exactly. Like... What's meant for you won't pass you by. Well, exactly. And also, like, if nothing happens for a reason, like, why are we living? True. Like, you know what I mean? Like...

Like, what's the point? Yeah. I agree. We're aligned on that. We're aligned. Everything happens for a reason. You, actually hearing you talk about this stuff is so beneficial, I feel like, for my headspace. Because, like, when I, I get so anxious going into it. You anxious? Like, I know Louise is listening to this right now and being like, I wish you could adopt her mindset. 1,000%.

Because, like, if that Golden Globes thing happened to me, like, I would literally, like, smash my head through a wall. Yeah, but that was my manager being like, you can't... You have to get yourself together. Like, it's going to be fine. And then also, it was fine in the end. And also, if it wasn't... If for some reason I couldn't find the footage, it still would have been fine because then it would... Honestly, then it just... As you said, it wasn't meant to be. Like, you would just be able to have that moment another time or whatever or, like... Exactly. But you just...

have to have more confidence in yourself but it's something I always struggle with too like it's always like sometimes I'm feeling super confident and like I'm like yeah I've got this like I'm amazing at what I do like I'm going to be able to do a really great job and then sometimes I feel really overwhelmed and it just depends what day it is really but I always would say like my dad gave me this advice like you have to well I can't I'm not saying it properly but he basically just like if you're prepared like then that's all you can be like do all your research prepare as much as you can like give 100%

in the prep and then like it's up to like the gods to decide your fate basically it's true do you but like when you were at snl you were like you have people like queued up and stuff like do you feel like oh my god like i just need a fucking second to breathe i did on that for some reason on that on that carpet yeah and then i just did i wasn't i obviously couldn't because we were live and like i just wasn't able to so i was just like telling myself in my head like

calm down like you know all these questions right you've been memorizing all these questions like breathe like I feel like I just got a bit like panicked and I just needed to like it's gonna be okay um yeah so I tried to like calm myself down in my head and I I feel like I'm always gonna be someone who thinks they could do a better job than they did like maybe you're the same like I come away from everything and I'm like you could have done better Amelia you could have done better um but

maybe that's also why I'm like successful as well. But then, but then I also feel like it's a balancing act because you kind of also want to enjoy things. And I said to myself, I found myself when I left the carpet, I was going to my sister and like some other people in the team. I was like, I don't know if that was any good. Like, I don't know if that was good. I feel like that wasn't good enough. And then I clocked myself and I was like, that's such a negative vibe. Like when everyone's being like, that was so fun for you to then, for the person who's like leading to be like,

that was, that was, could have been better. Like that wasn't fun. Like that's just, you're bringing everyone down. So then I was like, let's not do this, Amelia. Let's, even if you're thinking it, let's just be like, that was great. Brilliant. And then just like fake it till you believe it yourself. That's what I'm trying to do more of.

I feel like I really needed to hear that. Yeah. Yeah, because if you're someone who also would be like, oh, God, well, it didn't go well. Like, oh, it's terrible. Like, I can't even... If you think, like, you do that, like, I, like, can't even emphasize enough. Like, I...

I it's the only words I know yeah because if you think about it when someone does that to you you're just like oh like shut the fuck up yeah like it's like just it's just like not the vibe and so I'm trying to always be this person where I take remove myself from myself and like think if I was like talking to a friend like a friend was talking to me and I'm the friend like what would I say or like how would I want to be like that kind of helps me sometimes yeah yeah

When did you learn all this? I don't know. I feel like I'm learning it. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like a process. Like, that moment, which was, like, last weekend, was, like, me trying to change the way that I approach things. Like, actively. Yeah, actively. To be, like, it's not going to help anyone. What is me being, like, ugh, I don't know if that went very well. Like, you can't change anything now. Like, my sister always does tell me, like, if you can't change...

in the time, then maybe it's not worth speaking on. Right. Because, yeah, probably not going to help. What's your star sign? I'm an Aquarius. Okay. What are you? Wait, where's Aquaropus? Right there. That's Aquaropus. I'm a Scorpio. Are you a Scorpio? Yeah. Oh, no, it's my best friend is Scorpios. Really? Yeah. It's quite like a...

fiery sign like it's quite like i feel like it's like an important sign i also feel that way too and i don't know if like i'm just like deluded in the head with it but like i also feel like it's a pretty important sign yeah but i'm my do you know you're rising in your moon no sorry i would bet one of them's a gemini really not in it because why because you're a really good interviewer and are you a gemini i'm a gemini rising gemini moon but you're a great interview you know what's crazy to me is that you have like no questions you're just like it's coming off the top of your head

Thank you so much. Yeah, I think that's, like, really skillful. Thank you. Like, I could never be me. I'm, like, there, like, literally memorizing all my questions. Like, I have them, like, looking at them, glancing at them. Like, I can't. I'm not good at, like, just being like... Well, I think it's, like, a different... Like, it's a different thing. Because, like, if I had... I've just been bad at...

I've been like, I have a weird relationship with structure. I think I've always had this really weird relationship with structure. And like, if I had the questions in front of me, if I got even one, like slightly wrong, like it would just throw me off. Right. Okay. Yeah. It would just throw me off. Also. I feel like this is like very conversational. Yeah. And like some of the stuff that I do is like, I'm writing jokes as the questions are like actual bits. Right. It's like jokes. So I like have to kind of like,

remember them and say them because it's part of the like bit. Right, right, right, right. I'm asking you a specific question. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Was there ever a question you forgot to ask someone that you were like, ugh, and you wanted to ask it so bad? Yeah, all the time. And then I started doing this thing on my Instagram, which is where I would like post the questions that I forgot to ask. But then I got in trouble with an artist. I'm not going to say their name, but like they, I posted one of them once, like the questions I forgot to ask. And then they messaged me being like,

please take that down. Like, I can't believe you were going to ask me that question. Like, I can't believe you even posted that question.

Are you serious? Yeah, I'm serious. And I was so stressed. And I was like, ah! I mean, I think they were... Yeah, it was like... Yeah, anyway. Will you tell me after? Yeah, and then I took it down. But I was so stressed. Have you ever gotten like... Was that the only time you've ever received negative feedback to... Like with an artist or someone? Well, then there was one other time I've spoken about once before, which was like when I asked this other person...

in an interview because they were like in like a fantasy show um and this was like a common theme in the show so I thought it was like a fun question and I I basically was like um incest thoughts and um

Did not go down well. Publicist was like, you have to remove the whole interview. What? Yeah, it didn't happen. But it wasn't chicken shop day. It was on a red carpet, so it was fine. Are you serious? I mean, I thought that was funny. That is funny. My sister wrote that question. She was like, this is hilarious. And I was like, yeah, it's quite funny. And then, yeah, never saw the live day. Incest thoughts. Thoughts. You could have just been like,

Bad. Not a vibe. Yeah, not a vibe. Speaking of incest, do you watch The White Lotus? I haven't watched... I watch it, but I haven't watched the new one. Okay, well, there's, like, incest vibes going on. Well, why are you spoiling it for me? Sorry. What the hell? I'm sorry. I know. I know. Okay, well, great. Yeah, it's just one episode, right? That's out? Yeah, so that's why I'm, like, I'm feeling bad about the spoilization of it all, but, like, I...

Okay, but I don't know what kind of incest. You don't know, but you'll watch it and you'll be like, that's what he was talking about. Yeah, I really loved the first two series. They were so good. Loved. Yeah, new season's going to be great. I never saw the second one. Oh, you should. It's great. Isn't that weird? That's weird of you. And you're watching the third. Yeah. The thing that's good with this series is you don't really have to watch each one to understand. Right, right. But there are recurring characters from the first series. Right, like Belinda's in the third. Yeah, mm-hmm. And what's her name? Tanya's husband's.

Oh, really? In the second. Oh, okay. Another spoiler. Oh, no, no. No, that's that. Okay. Nevermind. Let's talk about something else. What else are you watching? What else am I watching? Um, couples therapy. Do you watch it? I don't like love reality television. If it's not housewives. No, no. You have to watch couples therapy. It's so, do you know the premise of the show? I don't.

It's basically like you're, you're, you'd love this. You'll watch you. It's like you're in the therapy session of couples. Why do, why would they agree to this? Exactly. I don't know. Like, but like some of them do. And like the therapist, she's amazing. She's called Orna and she's like the most amazing therapist ever. And she's a couple therapist. And then they have all different types of couples in New York city. And you like watch their therapy. And it's so fascinating and interesting and like insightful into relationships and all these different things.

and it's like so relatable in many ways and then totally not in another and like it's just i love it so i love watching that and then i don't know what else what can you remember like what is your watch housewives i know girl i know i think you would like it do you think i i feel like sometimes i'm like it's too dramatic i'm not a very like drama person okay but you're not a part of the drama and it's like so fun because you're watching it and do you watch housewives

Okay, so. Okay, this is like, I need to, maybe it's where I'm going wrong. My toxic trait is I don't watch Housewives. No, no, no, I think, start with Salt Lake. Okay. What about Beverly Hills? Everyone's talking about Beverly Hills. Beverly Hills is great. Beverly Hills is long. Salt Lake is less daunting. It's like five seasons and like on season, oh, I don't want to spoil it for you. Well, you love spoiling things. So go ahead. Someone gets arrested by the FBI on camera. Oh, I heard about that.

It's awesome. Yeah, that's crazy. Would you ever like be in a reality show? I don't think so. Would you? No.

I've really thought about it because I know I would be good at it. You would. Like, I know I would. Surely that's been pitched to you, like, even, like, to have cameras, like, in this house or, like, stuff. No, I've had people, like, mention it. But, like, the thing is, like, me and my friends are always, like, we wouldn't speak to each other after. Yeah. Also, it's so intense, like, for everything to be filmed and everything to become, like, part of a story or, like, a narrative. Like, I feel like you'd get really overwhelmed and you'd become, like, more anxious. It would ruin my life. First of all...

Hear no evil, see no evil. I don't want to hear what you're saying about me. Yes, it's true. I don't. I just don't. We shouldn't. We shouldn't never know. I don't want to know. I don't want to know. And also, it's normal. Gossiping is normal. It's a normal part of life. Preach it to the choir. It's one of the oldest traditions in the world, gossiping. But we should never... It's totally fine to do that. But yeah, you should never hear it. Yeah, I just don't want to. But I know that I would just... I think I would be...

I think the issue is I'd be like villainous on the show. Oh, really? Okay. You'd be the villain. Like, I think I, I think I would play the field and I'd stir the pot and it would just blow up in my face. And then everyone would be like, get him. Like, you know, that would be really stressful, but also you'd have like a fun story up because maybe you'd be like loved, hated, loved again. You know what I mean? It would be like the hero's journey. It would be like very interesting. It would be interesting, but like, I don't want to be hated. Yeah. So it's like, I can't,

Okay, well, good job I'm not a TV producer with an idea for you, so don't worry. No one's going to make you do a show. I would do like a reality show if it was like, let's travel the world and do like simple life vibes. Oh, that's fun. But like a show show, like Bravo vibes? No. But I love me some Bravo. Have you ever been on Watch What Happens Live?

No. Have you? I was like a bartender once. Okay. Well, you need to be like the main. I would love to. You need to sit in the seat. Yeah. Andy. Is Andy Cohen? Yeah. He was at the SNL after party. Yeah. He's a party. He's a party. Yeah. Okay.

You mentioned you're working with your sister. Yeah. When did you start working together? Well, we've always like kind of like work together, but like it's never been like formalized. Like for the, for the beginning of time, she'd like watch all the chicken shop day edits and like give me notes and stuff. And then she'd like help me with questions sometimes. And like a lot of the episodes she is actually credited on, but like, I don't know. She's just like my sounding board. Like you probably have this with your like friends and stuff like, um,

whenever you, you have like loads of people. Is it Matt? Yeah. How do you know about Matt? Well, because you like speak about him and like you'll like say,

you've got an offer in and then you'll like ask his opinion. Oh yeah. When I said I was, when I was like, like the oil rigging brand trip. Yeah. Cause he like would know if it was like a good thing to do or not. I don't know. Or something. You ask your friends about like offers and things like that. And I just, I have that, but just with my sister, like I don't speak to anyone else apart from about work stuff apart from her and obviously my team. And so she's always kind of like been,

But she kind of now works more formally with me, like on red carpets. What's the age gap? A year, one year and a half. Oh. She's like the year below school. And were you guys like always close growing up? Yeah, we're so close. Too close, actually. Some might say. Like we used to live together and she had to move out because we were like... Five days? No, the opposite. We were like too codependent. Oh. Do you live alone now? Yeah, I live alone. I'm scared of living alone. Really? Yeah. I'm on my phone.

so much more living alone. What's your screen time? Like, probably like eight hours. I was with someone the other day. They showed me their screen time 16 hours. Yeah, that's like mine. I spend my life on my phone.

I know, but we need to like touch some grass. I want to be the grass. Yeah. Like I want to like assume the grass as myself, but I can't. I know. But what like are you on? Because I think I'm just on WhatsApp the whole time. You don't know what that is, do you? I know what WhatsApp is. I went on Hinge in the UK and everyone was like, here's my number. You can WhatsApp me. And you were like Googling WhatsApp.

that was no well here's what I don't love about whatsapp I tried to screenshot it to like show my friends something and they were like we don't do that here

What? Well, you don't know if someone's screenshot you on WhatsApp. Well, I tried to screenshot them and it said no screenshots allowed. What? Were you on Raya? No, I was on WhatsApp. That's so funny. Yeah. People in America just like don't use WhatsApp. They just love to text. Why do you guys use WhatsApp? I just love it. I love the interface. I just feel like it's like way easier to use. Like you can just like see or you can be reminded of everyone. Like, I don't know. I just think it's way better. Like everyone in the UK is like always WhatsAppping. Like because it's better than iMessage. Yeah.

Yeah, I think we just find it easier than what... But I think I'm on WhatsApp all the time or I'm on Instagram. I'm like on... I'm not really on TikTok that much because I know it's so addictive. Like I can just be on it for hours. It's a legitimate drug. Yeah. Like I...

i'm super addicted i'm super addicted to the instant gratification of it but it's also your job so it's kind of hard because that's why you're on it way more yeah wouldn't it be cool sometimes i always think like be so cool to be like one of those celebrities or like people who like don't have a social media like mikey madison yeah and they just like or like um phoebe waller bridge and they just like their output is just like their creative art form and then like that's it and they

And they like literally, they don't have to ever know what people are saying about them online. No, but they all have burner accounts. You think? They all do, yeah. Yeah, they do. Oh, it must be so cool. But it's like, what do you do with your day?

True. Like, you know what I mean? Like nap, I guess. Oh my God. I have the sit here. Wait, where's my phone? I need to show you. I do like naps. Well, I'm trying to rid myself from them because I do feel like that. I have bringing me down spot for a nap in my house. Really? You want to see? Yeah. Oh, I saw that on my way to the toilet.

That's quite dangerous because it looks too comfy. I always say assuming position. And then I say... How long are you napping for? Three, four hours. Yeah. Same. I know. And then I wake up and I'm like...

I can't like I don't have people like nap for like 20 minutes I'm like what I always wake up like wet yeah and also like I also like often nap in my contact lenses which is like you shouldn't do and then I like wake up and I'm like I can't see and then I'm like ugh and I feel so groggy and I can't shake it for the whole day and I'm like why did I do that it's like self harm it is self harm napping yeah napping is self harm but it feels so good it's like sticking your fingers in your gums and twisting it's like scratching whiskey to bite ooh yeah

I love scratching a mosquito bite. I know. Until it hurts. And then it's like, why did I do that? Want to hear about my dream last night? Always. Okay. I had a dream that I did crack cocaine in the south of France. And I was super addicted. Have you ever done crack cocaine before? Never. No? Neither. But like in the moment, in my dream, I like woke up and like,

Like had to do it before I went swimming. Oh yeah. It's only right. Yeah. How do you even take crack cocaine? I wouldn't even know. In my dream I was sniffing it. Sniffing it. Okay. I think you smoke it. You do? Okay. You don't inject it? No. No. But I. It wasn't like coke. It was like crack. Okay. Like I knew because everyone was like Jake's doing crack. And it was like a thing. You were like guys I need to swim. So like that's the only reason I'm doing it. Okay.

it's because I need to go swimming and then I ended up on a tour bus in New York oh of course yeah that's just how it works I had like a really intense dream that was basically kind of like the SNL after party I was like in I was like at it again but like everything was like going wrong like I always have really I I need to stop dreaming I want to give it up wait wait but do you smoke weed it's too much no okay that's why you dream

Should I start smoking weed? I mean, it stops you from dreaming. I don't think it's a good idea. Also in the UK, you can't smoke it. Also like I think it would give you bad anxiety. Yeah. I basically, I have really vivid dreams and I would say nightmares like nearly every night where I basically play out the day that's just happened or the day that's coming up but like the worst case scenario. Really? Yeah. And it's like actually your life. It's like feels so real and so I'll wake up in the night and I'll be like for like a split second, I'll be like, oh my God, that thing has happened and I'll, it will be really intense but I think it's because like

I feel like I don't have that much anxiety in the day and it all comes out in my dreams. You suppress it. Yeah. And then it just all happens in my dreams. I feel like it's a very like British thing for you to do. Yeah. So I basically, I'm stopping, I'm stopping dreaming. Yeah. Yeah. But I don't know how to do it. Well, you can't really. I started reading before bed.

Oh, because you want to start reading. Yes! But how's that going for you? I read one book. Okay, that's better than no book. It's called The Housemaid. Have you had Sydney Sweeney on the book? No. You should get her. Have you? No. I interviewed her on Red Carpet once. Was she lovely? Yeah, so lovely. She seems lovely. She's smaller in real life. No way! Yeah. Well, I... Everyone is.

Have you seen those AI videos where it's like POV, you wake up in the Black Plague? No, thank God. Oh my God, it's awesome. Thank goodness I've never seen that. So you wake up. So it's like you, like the TikTok video starts and it's like you hear, and then it's like you wake up and it's like 10 a.m., walk through the streets, like feed starving person. Why would you want this to be your algorithm? It's just fascinating. It's not real. Yeah, but then there's like a POV, you wake up in the 1300s on a pirate ship and it's like,

What about POV? You wake up, you have a boyfriend, they take you for dinner. There's those, I think, too. Okay, don't tell me about those because I'll get stuck in a fucking loop of those. No, but the historical ones are awesome. Like POV, you wake up in Pompeii on the day it's over. Is this like over the headsap?

Um, no, it's just like you wake, like this video starts from like legs down. So like you can like pretend that like it's like goes like this and they like go about their day. I think you only find too much. No, no. I swear to God. These AI ones like are a thing. Like the black plague one is awesome. I've rewatched it like four times. The streets are like mud.

mopped with mud. Wow. And everyone's... Oh, and then it's like at 7 p.m. It's like PO... And then it's like 7 p.m. Visit sick parent. Don't get too close because they're sick. 9 p.m. You feel ill. And then like 10 p.m. You die. This sounds truly...

unnecessary it's awesome and it makes me want to watch a movie about the black plague okay you do that yeah have fun you guys spring and festival season is upon us and so is summer and what would make spring festival season summer even more fun

A love interest, whether it be a crush or someone you are seeing, Tinder has it all. Okay. The thing I have learned about dating apps is that you never know if you don't try. Okay. And then my favorite part about Tinder is when you like someone, they can't see if you like them. They will only see if they like you back and it's a match.

So there's really nothing to lose. You know what I mean? And like, I feel like we're in the day and age where people are so embarrassed to put themselves out there, but Tinder really does make it so easy to do that. It's like shooting your shot and the shot can only go in. Also, you guys know I'm in my dating era. I'm really trying to put myself out there and Tinder does just make it so accessible to comfortably put myself out there because I'm not like embarrassed if they don't like me back. You know what I mean? Like I've just, I'll, ignorance is bliss. Also like,

What I've always dreamed of is a summer love fling. And I know that hopefully I can find one on Tinder. And the only way to find that is to swipe right. But it starts now on Tinder. It's never been easier to find a summer fling. All you have to do is swipe right. Thank you, Tinder, for sponsoring tonight's episode. Explore all the possibilities for yourself on Tinder. It starts with a swipe. Download Tinder today. This episode of Therapist is brought to you by Booking.com. Booking.com.

You guys, summer is approaching, as I've said, and it is time to plan those summer vacations. What better way to plan it than on Booking.com? I'm telling you guys, when we were on tour, we would show up in these cities with nowhere to stay, and we would just go on Booking.com, type in exactly what we need. Do we want a terrace? Do we want...

walkability? Do we want a bath? Do we want a shower? Literally anything. We would put it in and they would show us the hotels and we would find the perfect place to stay. It has never been easier to book a stay with Booking.com. It also helps you book vacation rentals, cars. Like it really helps you plan like the full vacation or the full trip. Like for me, as I said, like walkability is important. I don't drive. Like

You know, I love a terrace. I like to be outside. Like, it really is just the best. Like, it has never been easier to book a stay anywhere than on Booking.com. I'm going to be in New York this week. Obviously, we used Booking.com to book our stay. It really is just the best. I literally don't know how we would have done tour without it because, I mean, like – and you know me. Like, as I've said before, I'm the most anxious person alive. Like, I would show up to these cities and I'd be like, oh, like, it's fine. Like, we would just go on Booking.com.

type in a bunch of things that we need and we have somewhere to stay for the day. It's amazing that it also sponsors this podcast because I really do love it so much and it's so... I'm such a fan of it. So I really hope you guys use it too. Find exactly what you're booking for on Booking.com. Booking. Yeah! Thank you, Booking.com, for sponsoring tonight's episode. What movies have you seen recently? Oh, well, I've been watching all the Oscars films. And so...

I just got excited. I was going to ask about Nora. Nora loved so much. I loved it. I thought it was amazing. I love all of Sean Baker's movies though. Same. I think one of my favorite movies ever is Tangerine. Have you seen Tangerine? Not yet, but I've seen the Florida Project. Florida Project, Tangerine, Red Rocket. I've seen Red Rocket. Yep. And Nora was amazing. Sorry. I just got nervous because I've only seen two. Well,

Well, you lied. That's fine. We can edit that out. And yeah, Anora was amazing. The last five minutes, I think, were like exceptional. Right. So good. It's just like, I love it. And Mikey was so good. Mikey was so good. Are you allowed to say who you're like rooting for? Yeah. I mean, I love Anora. I loved Conclave. I haven't seen Conclave yet. Oh, you have to. Wait, do you vape? Yeah. Okay. Do you? You're going to love it. No, I don't. Do the priests vape? They might do. Okay.

Yeah. That's so cool. I thought when they, when they were doing that table read with like all those people, like they were vaping as a joke. No, you would love it. There's a big vaping action in that film.

Yeah, and actually vaping never looked so good. Well, my thing was, like, I tried to watch Conclave on the plane and I rented it and then I kept pressing play and it kept exiting out. No, I think actually you need to watch it in the theater. Like, it's... Do you ever go to the movie theater? Rarely. What? Movies are meant to be watched in the movie theater. I know, but I saw Nosferatu the other day. Oh, I can't watch that. Yeah. And I saw it the other day in the theater and I was sitting there like, I mean, like... Apparently it's sexy.

I mean, like, yeah, there's, like, a sex scene with Nicholas Holt, and it's awesome. I love him. He's so nice. You should get him. Really? I'm obsessed with him. Yeah. Brady just interviewed him. I saw that. He's so great. And the Royal Court, right? Because you like Skins. I got... Okay, so I actually tried to watch Skins as a kid.

And I watched a lot of shit as a kid. Like, I was a South Park kid, like, at eight years old. Like, Bad Girls Club. Like, the whole to-do. Something about Skins really didn't sit right with me. I think it was... Too British. No, no, no. What's her name? Effie. Effie? Yeah. Weren't her parents, like, sex addicts? No.

Well, they did like to have sex and maybe she... She always heard it. It was super weird. Yeah, it's true. I feel like there was a lot going on with that show in terms of the pair. It was interesting because it was a lot about how parents fuck you up. Right. Which I thought was a dark subject, but they did it in quite a light way. I loved Skins. But yeah, and that's why I love Nicholas Holt and then also About a Boy as well. Never seen. Oh, that's a really good one. Hugh Grant. Do you love Hugh Grant?

Yeah. Okay. Well, what's he? I know who. What else is he in? Bridget Jones. Yeah. Yeah.

He's in Paddington. Have you seen Paddington? No, I haven't. Oh, Paddington is so good. Have you seen Paddington in Peru? Yeah, I've seen Paddington in Peru. And he's in Peru? He's in Peru, yeah. I mean, yeah. What does he do in Peru? Spoiler, sorry, he's in Peru. Well, I'm not going to tell you. Okay. Okay, because I'm not going to spoil it for you. Right. But the first two are better, I think. Okay. Than the Peru one. But yeah, so I've been watching all the Oscars films. Conclave was great. Yeah.

I'm going to see the Brutalist next week. In LA? Yeah. I would love to come. I leave Wednesday. It's four hours, but there's an interval. Okay, when do you want to see it? On Monday. Yes, I'm free. Okay, in the evening. Yes. Okay, great. You actually want to go? Yeah, well, I'm going. Okay. So do you want to go? I do want to go. Where are you going on Wednesday? Tour. Tour.

I know. Oh my God, where's your first stop? Dallas. I know, I'm excited. Oh, but like you've done shows before and they went really well. Yeah. So are you excited? I'm a little nervous because it's a new show. Okay, so basically like I have these videos I'm going to show of myself and they're super embarrassing. Like to the point where like- Are they your TikToks? No. I can't even put them on TikTok. They're so embarrassing, but I know-

like that they're guaranteed laughs and if I have two videos that will get me two guaranteed moments of laughter like it's worth it like if you can leave that show saying like I laughed twice because I know well they're going to be laughing the whole time and also like it's great because there is an audience of your fans they're like right like in a way like you could probably say anything and they'll be like funny you would be

I'd be surprised. Oh, really? Really? There was some, like, some, it just depends on the city. You have to, like, mold what you're, how you're talking about stuff based on the city. Yeah, but that's fun. Like, there's a skill in that. Like, and, like, the more that you do it, like, the better you'll get at it. But, like, it's, I can't believe that you, like, that would terrify me. Like, I've never done anything live. Would you ever? Like, to an audience. Like, I would love to, but, like, to me, that's, like, totally so scary because I really rely on, like, the edit process of, like, everything that I do is, like, so highly edited. Uh-huh.

and I feel like I've always used that as, like, my, like, comfort. Yeah. And so, like, to go then do something live, like, to an audience, I'd be like, but, um, what, I can't, like, I have to be, like, totally live, but I think I would love it because it's, like, probably, is it very, like, exhilarating when you come off stage? It's exhilarating, and, like, I also think you would be exceptional at crowd work.

You think? Oh my God. I think it's like- Do you do a lot of crowd work at your show? I looked at the dates, but I'm not in any of the cities for when you- Okay, cool, cool. Well, I'm coming to the UK next fall. Oh, you are? Okay, great. Yes, if you're there. But like this fall? Like this fall, yeah. Yeah, okay. Well, I'll be there. Great. Great. And do you always have a guest on your show, like the live show, or is it just you? Sometimes I have guests, sometimes I don't. Sometimes my friends pop out to tell stories. Yeah, Connor's going to be doing stuff. Connor's going to be doing some stuff with me. I think crowd work would be like second nature to you.

Okay, cool. I definitely want to try it. You should. Yeah, it's going to be on my mood board for soon. You should come out for a show. In the UK, we'll do a Tell Me What's Wrong crowd work. That's my crowd work section. Okay, that'd be good. It's really fun. Then I can warm up. I can get used to seeing people's faces. Yeah, it's fun.

You can also be like no phones if that makes you feel better. Yeah, that's like a very common practice in comedy. So do you do no phones for your shows? Parts of the show are no phones. The crowd work section you would actually think is phones, but I do no phones. That's nice. Because I want everyone in the audience to feel comfortable because I don't want to like make them the butt of my joke on social media. Yeah, yeah, totally. So like that's... It's so exciting. It's really fun. It's really exhausting going from city to city.

Yeah. Sometimes, like last time I did, what was the most we did in a row last time? Four? Four shows, like one after the other. One, one, one, one, one. Without a break, yeah. No break. And like that. And do you go out afterwards? No, never. I go out to dinner. Do you know how musicians do it? Some of my musician friends, they do a show, then they go to an after party, then they do another show. I'm like, what's happening? I think, I don't know. I don't think I'd be able to...

go out because like clearly if I was a musician maybe I would because like I'd be like I know what songs I'm singing and like maybe I'd feel tired but like my

The comedy of it all isn't going to hit if my energy is like, hey. Yeah, and you need to be, like, really sharp. You need to be, like, really quick in the moment, like, and funny. And, yeah, I get that. I went out once, though, after my New York show. And then I had my show in Canada the very next day. And I thought it was going to be the worst. Like, I was so hungover. Like, in ways that, like.

Where like I couldn't even describe like I was so brutal and like right before I went on stage I was like I can't do this I can't do this I can't do this and then I got on stage and I was sticking to the script of my show like very very very cut and paste up until then and then I just went completely off book.

And it was one of the best shows I've ever done. And it completely changed the rest of my tour. Wow. Okay. So you've got to be hungover more often then. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. Well, I think the Canadians appreciated the American misery. Yeah. Also, Canadians are so funny. Some of the funniest people in the world are Canadian. Right? They had a great sense of humor. Lorne Michaels is Canadian. Oh, was it? Yeah. Loads of people that you think are funny Americans are actually Canadian. Like who else?

Like, um, other people. Cool. What are you therapist about? I'm therapist about... Good question. Do you want me to go first? Yeah, you go first. I'm therapist about... I keep saying this, but it's true. I have a deviated septum. What? You know what I mean? No. Okay, so it's like a septum and it's like deviated. That hasn't helped me. Okay, so... Is that like in your ear? It's in my nose. Okay.

And, like, it's, like...

Deviated? Like, I don't know what deviated means. It's a deviant. It's like, I don't know what it means, but I know that it's not right and it needs to be fixed. So sometimes when I'm talking to people, like, this nostril right here will, like, close up and then I'll hear, like, vibrations in this ear. And I, like, diagnosed that as a deviated septum. And then I posted a story of, like, me like this the other day. And someone swiped up and was like, hey, I'm a nursing student and I can see that you have a deviated septum. So what are you going to do about it? Well, you're supposed to get it undeviated.

And my ear, nose, and throat doctor was like, you don't have a deviated septum. Okay, so actually it's fine. No, so he's lying. I know he's lying. Oh, he's lying to you. He's not lying. He's lying. He's lying to you. There was some shady fucking business. Like, I knew something was not going on. Like, something was wrong. I think he just wanted me out of the fucking office. Like, you know what I mean? Like-

He had, like, posters of, like, A-list celebrities. And I was like, oh, I'm the last on his list right now. Right. He was, like, wanting you to go out so Kim Kardashian could come in. Exactly. Like, yeah. And then, like, there was, like, some woman in the room next door, like, complaining about pills. And I was like, he's just had a day. He's not ready to, like, give me my deviated septum diagnosis. Right.

Okay, well, good luck. Thank you so much. To you, and I hope you look normal from the outside. Thank you. It doesn't feel normal. Okay. It's this right here. And also, like, when you get a deviated septum, it's like a nice excuse for a little... Oh, like a nose job? Yeah. No, I don't believe in you having any... Neither do I. Any surgery. But if it's presented... Okay. You're not going to say no.

But, like, I don't think I'm going to, but I don't think, like, hopefully, like, no one will believe me if I say, like, I didn't get it, you know? That's, like, the best. It's like, did you get work done? No. It's like, I don't believe you. Or, like, it wasn't cosmetic. It was, like, actually for a reason. So, actually, it was needed. Yeah, but that's what people do. Do you snore? Like a motherfucker. Oh, so that's actually the real reason why you need to sort it out. Because do you think that would sort it out, snoring? Yes, yes. Okay, because snoring is...

is bad no it's horrible and my mattress tells me how much i snore every night what do you mean it speaks to you it like it like can sense it's called an eight sleep does it have okay okay so basically like every morning i wake up to vibrations and uh it warms up the mattress warms up when i wake up so it wakes me up with vibrations what like a water bed kind of and i wake up and i check my phone

Turn off the vibrations. I see my sleep fitness score for the night. I see how many hours... No way. Of how many hours of REM sleep, deep sleep, and light sleep I had. In the mattress? Yes, it can sense. That's crazy. It can also sense how long you've snored for. I think it must actually... It must be watching you. Yeah, something like that. But it's awesome. Okay, wow. That sounds like...

Something from Black Mirror, but like fun. But something like fun. Yeah, agreed. And maybe like better, because I don't like wearing rings. Yeah, I don't want an aura ring. Yeah, so maybe that's kind of like the aura ring. It is like the aura ring, except it's your mattress. So what am I therapist about?

I'm okay. Well, I'm kind of therapist about something that then was like rectified recently, but like I'm therapist that like in the UK, you still have to take all of your toiletries out of the bag when you're going in the airport. It's diabolical. Like it's insane. And then I was about to do it in America just now when I flew from New York to LA and they were like, what are you doing? Right. Put your stuff in your bag. And I was like, what? You mean?

You mean I don't have to take every single individual tiny thing out of my bag and like put it in? And I just feel like it's like the most horrible thing ever that happens to us. I'm confused though because I didn't have to do that the other day. What? I was flying from the UK to America. And you didn't have to take your stuff out? Nothing. Wow. I didn't even have to take my laptop out, honestly. Really?

Okay, well maybe I'm just going to the wrong airport. - What airport? Are you going to Heathrow? - Yeah, they've got like something, they're out to get me. That's what I'm pissed about. I'm like, you know like when people talk about like, oh, like when you have kids and they're like, oh, back in my day, like it was so hard. Like we didn't have like running water or electricity. And I'll be like, well, back in my day, we had to take all of our toiletries out of our bag before we put it in the machine in the airport. - It clogs up the line too. Do you have to take your shoes off as well?

In the UK, you don't have to take your shoes off. And in America, you do. Well, not with pre-check. Oh, really? You don't have to do anything with pre-check. Okay, this is very first world problems, but it is something I was thinking about the other day. Okay, you want to do the tell me what's wrongs? Yeah. I went to a party with my friend a couple of days ago. I lent her my brand new pair of shoes because it went with her outfit more. That's nice. She got completely wasted, blacked out, and pissed on my shoes. She doesn't even remember. What do I say? She peed on them. Mm-hmm.

What do you say? You say, hey, you peed on my shoes. Yeah. Like, well, you're not going to tell her. This friendship seems iffy if you don't feel comfortable telling her that she peed on your shoes. Yeah, because if anything, it could be funny, right? No, I would not find that funny. Oh, okay. My brand new shoes. Okay, sure. Sorry. Sorry, that's not funny. No. That's really unfunny. What if you lent me those shoes, those gorgeous shoes to wear out for the night and I peed on them? Well, I'd just be like, go and get them dry cleaned. Okay.

Right? Can you dry clean shoes? These are velvet. I know. I don't know if you can dry clean those. Those are gorgeous shoes. It depends. Like, I think if you peed... Okay, now I'm thinking about it because how does she know... It's kind of awkward to say to your friend, like, by the way, you peed on my shoes. Isn't it? I mean, like, I'm thinking, like, if I went out with, like, one of my best friends, Julia, and she peed on my shoes, I'd be like, hey, you fucking peed on my shoes. So that's why this friendship doesn't seem super, like...

You know? Yeah, I know. And also you should be able to like tell your shoes if you peed on them. Tell your friend if they peed on your shoes. That's a sign of a friendship. Or else they're not your friend. True. And also make her buy you new shoes. So basically you guys aren't friends. Sorry. Like one time I... We had to tell you that, but you're not friends. One time, like I'm trying to think, like I've like fucked my friend's shit up before.

And I've felt poorly. But through peeing? No, like through, like, I'm trying to remember. Like, I know I've, like, stained something and been like, damn. And they've been like, yeah, you need to fix that. I don't really ever borrow people's clothes and stuff. I think it's because I'm too nervous about, like, ruining them. I never do, but, like, I'm very messy. So I think the one time I did it, I fucked it up. Right, okay. Yeah, it wasn't it. And now you're friends with them or no? No, yeah, best friends. Okay, great. Who do you listen to?

Ooh, good question. Who do I listen to? I listen to... I've literally forgotten every single music artist I listen to. I listen to... I've been listening to Lola Young, Messy. I love Lola Young. Yeah, I've been listening to her, that song on repeat. At first I was like, oh, I don't know about the song and then now I'm addicted to the song. I listen to a lot of the 1975. I listen to a lot of Lana. I love Lana.

Listened to a lot of Sabrina I love like pop I just listen to a lot of pop music And I listen to a lot of like Older music too I listen to a lot of like Fleetwood Mac

James Taylor, like, I listen to a lot of Queen. Okay. ABBA. I love ABBA. Have you been to ABBA Voyage? No. What is that? Is that AI? Yeah, next time you come to London, you have to go to ABBA Voyage. It's like the best thing ever and it's like holograms of ABBA, but it feels like you're actually at an ABBA concert. I heard that there's this new show in London. It's impossible to get into.

And it is called... You, me, bum, bum train. Bum, bum train! Yeah. What the fuck? I'm trying to go. Have you won? No, my friend's like, anytime you want to go, we'll go. Oh, because they... Like, okay, I tried to get tickets and they were charging me, like, an extortionate amount of money. Oh, no, no, no, no. That's still a thing. Oh, it's still... Okay, right. You have to pay. Okay, right, yeah. Yeah, but I was thinking about doing it. I was like, maybe it's like... Because people have said it's changed their life. So I was like, maybe I could pay that kind of money to change my life. No, but I...

Yeah, I saw people after. They were like, you got to go to bum bum train. Yeah, everyone I know who's been has said it's like epic. I kind of want to go. Yeah, we should go. I'm down. Yeah, it's only on until like the end of April. What? Yeah, that's what they said to me. Damn, I got to go to London in April then. Got to go.

Did you ever listen to like Lily Allen growing up? Yeah. Lovely. I love, I used to go through a really big, really big Lily Allen. Like when she released, she's this. Yeah. And I was like my whole thing. She was really like that girl. She just like created a whole sort of style sound. Like she was so influential. Do you have a favorite Lily Allen song? I love smile. I love smile. I love, uh, the song London L D. I love that. Do you know Kate Nash?

Kate Nash. Kind of like in a similar world to like, well, like kind of like around the same time as Lily Allen. But I think if you liked Lily Allen, you'd like Kate Nash. Okay, I'll give it a listen. So my boyfriend and I have been together for four years and my whole family loves him and tells me not to break up with him. However, recently I'm starting to realize that I want to, that he and I want two completely different lives going into our late twenties. What should I do? Break up with him. Yeah.

Easiest one. And watch Someone Great on Netflix. Have you seen that movie? No. It's about that. Oh, okay. Or watch How to Be Single with Dakota Johnson. Have you seen that? No. It's also about that. Wow. I feel like that's just so easy. Yeah, that is easy. Break up. Break up with him. Dump him. The guy I have a crush on likes my sister. She'd never do anything about it, thankfully, but...

But this is agony. I don't even, I don't even think he thinks about me that way. Is there anything I can do or am I screwed? I feel like I had that recently. Really? Yeah, but not really. But also maybe. Me and my sister sometimes like the same guys. And then do you compete? Well, I hate competition. Okay. Yeah, I guess. No, we don't compete. But like there was this guy that my sister like, no, this guy really fancied my sister. And then, but then she didn't,

like fancy him but then i was like but i fancy him and then now i'm like but can i go there but nothing happened between them so but she doesn't like him no so of course you can you think yeah it's kind of still weird because like he liked her yeah but she didn't like him yeah but then like and then if you're with him is she gonna be like no she's not also if i was actually thinking about this the other day i was like if my sister was if i like fancy someone but my sister was like i really like them i would honestly like fall on my sword i'd be like hey you can you can date them

You're a giver. Because I'm such a good person. Yeah, you're a good person. Yeah. What star sign is your sister? Leo. Oh, I don't know if you could do that to her then. Why? She'd get upset. Really? But she wouldn't ever show it. That's her vibe. No, she'd show it. I love Leos. Yeah, you do? Yeah, all of my best friends are Leos. That's so interesting because you're such a personality and Leos are also such personalities. I feel like I really surround myself with big personalities. Okay. All of my friends are big personalities. Okay. Yeah, I don't really have any shy friends.

That's awesome. Do you? No, I actually don't think I... No, my best friend Alice is shy. Okay. Yeah. Hmm.

She's also British. Oh, really? Yeah. She showed me around London last time we were there. Does she live in London? Went to Marks and Spencer's. Yeah, I went to Marks and Spencer's. So great, isn't it? It's like a better L1, I think. It is better. I got myself some prawn chips. Ooh. I don't like prawns, but okay. Oh, okay, cool. Well, they also have vegan prawn chips. That's great. Yeah, they were awesome. I got, they have like all- Sandwiches. Yeah, they have sandwiches. Well, I didn't get that.

But they have like. Sausage rolls. They have sausage. Cocktail sausage rolls. Yeah, I love. And they have whatchamacallit, prawn toast. I guess you don't like prawns. No, but they have like everything you can like. What I love is they have like chicken already like pre-seasoned and everything. And salmon like already pre-seasoned. So you just like all this stuff like already pre-seasoned. You just put it in the oven. I like their little pre-noodle packets. Yeah, they have everything pre-done, which is perfect for me because I can't cook. Okay, yeah. Yeah.

They have pies pre-made. Put it in the oven. Yeah, my one qualm with London was that it was hard to find a nice coffee. It wasn't hard. It was just like – it was like a –

I don't know. It was more difficult than anticipated. Also, everything is shut down on Sunday till noon. I know. Which was frustrating. Yeah. And also, it's like 12 till 5. Yeah. But try going to Europe. Nothing is open on a Sunday. At least we have like five hours. Do you like Indian food? Yeah. And it's really good in the UK. I've never had better Indian food in my entire life. Probably if you went to India, but... Okay. Yeah.

But other than that, yeah. Have you ever been to Jamavar? No. It's amazing. Okay, I need to go. Yeah, it's awesome. Wait, what are we going to say to them? What is it? What was it? The sister. Oh, the sister. I would prescribe Sister, Sister, the show. I think that shows good sisters. Everything you've been saying is just to watch a TV show. Yeah. Okay, cool. What would you prescribe? I don't know, like get a new sister or something? Or like, I'm trying to think of like,

A movie where The Parent Trap Yeah Well there's no like Love in that With boys I'm trying to think like Mary Kay and Ashley Yeah My dad wrote a Mary Kay and Ashley film What Yep Which one Switching Goals Oh

Isn't that crazy? That is crazy. It's like my claim to fame. That's so cool. I love them so much. Did you ever watch, what's the Paradise one? They like go to like some tropical island. Holiday in the Sun. Holiday in the Sun. Yeah. Passport to Paris. Yeah, I watched all of them. So good. Our lips are sealed. Winning London. Yeah, it's where they're the spies or they're the witness production. Yes. Winning London.

I, yeah, I think I have seen the winning London. Remember the Hollywood, the Halloween special they would do? Yeah. And New York minute. I love New York minute. Yeah. So good. Oh, I love Mary Kay and Ashley. They're so good. And now they have the row. Yeah. They're just killing it. And so chic. So chic and cool.

We caught our new roommate lying to a group of people at a party we were hosting about having a dead dad. Like, would not stop trauma bragging. We literally have met her biological father. He helped us move in. Is this weird enough for confrontation or is it a laugh it off thing? That's definitely strange behavior. Don't you think? Like, that's... Wait, what? Have you done that? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. To play devil's advocate, someone else could be a father figure to her.

Yeah.

What do you mean? Like her biological dad might not be her, like the one she refers to as dad, but it is interesting. There could be a father figure that had died in her life. Yeah. It's definitely like something maybe to ask her about. Yeah, definitely ask. And it's very, um, a sensitive subject. So don't be too confrontational. Right. And don't do it as a group. When you approach it. Yeah. But like, definitely I would maybe say, oh, like I was confused about this cause I've met your dad, but you said your dad is dead. Yeah.

Yeah. Ooh. What's going on there? That's a good, that's a really good way to ask. Yeah. The girl I was friends with stopped talking to me when I asked her for money. We were at a pregame before a function for my sorority and I asked her to pay me back for a night out. I covered for her just the other night, like drinks, food, cover charge, everything. She literally blew up and left the party. We haven't spoken since and things are super awkward. What the fuck? Help. Oh, that's really unfortunate. Yeah.

Yeah, that does suck. Yeah, because it's like she needs to kind of pay you back. You need that money back. What's going on there? I don't know. It doesn't seem like this is a long lasting friendship. No. Exactly. It sounds a bit toxic. Maybe ask like, is there something else going on? Yeah. Is there something else going on? But I don't like the sound of that. Yeah. I prescribe like a Venmo request charge.

What do you guys use in the UK? People keep asking me for the Venmo. You gotta get it. You're here enough. I know, but like, do I need like an American card for that? Yeah. Yeah. So what do you use in the UK? Apple cash? We use Monzo. Or you just do bank transfer. You like Wagamama? Yeah. I love Wagamama. Chicken katsu curry. Yeah. But I get the mini one. Okay. From the kids menu. Okay. Yeah. I'm trying to think of like where else I went in London that I was like so clinically addicted to.

I mean, I was in a really, not touristy part, but like a not like. You're staying in Soho? I stayed in Mayfair. Oh, okay, nice. And I went, I had the best dirty martini of my entire life at the Con Art. Oh, wow. It's in the Red Room. No, we tried to get into the Red Room and they were like, it's booked and busy. Yeah, the Con Art is so nice. So nice. Yeah, I don't like martinis. Okay. I don't like olives. Have you been to Chinatown? No. Ugh.

It's amazing. To be fair, I've already been to many like Mayfair restaurants. They're so fancy. They are really fancy. Yeah, and like so expensive and like fancy. I like don't, I never really go to eat. I'm like not a foodie at all. Okay. Like I literally don't really love like food.

Right. Like I obviously love to eat, but like I don't I'm not like a foodie at all. Right. We're having a family reunion this year. Basically out of nowhere, like we've never done this. I haven't spoken with most of my family in forever because we moved across the country like 10 years ago and they neglect us for that. How do I not make this thing super awkward and try to have a good time with the people I barely even know? LOL.

I feel like you just have to like think that you might not have the best time in the world. Like you're going to a family function where you don't know that many people, you haven't seen them in ages. So I think like prepare for the worst and hope for the best. Like, it's not like you're going to have the best night of your life, but like you might, but like, don't go into it thinking you will because you don't need to. And also like,

Buddy up with your family. Yeah, buddy up with your family, but know that it might be awkward, but that's okay. It's not normal to be best friends with family members that you never see. Right. I prescribe Sweet Home Alabama. Love that movie. That was a good one. Isn't every single thing that Reese Witherspoon in is amazing? She just is never in anything bad. Have you ever seen Little Fires Everywhere? I started reading the book, and then I didn't, but I didn't watch the series. She was in that, right? She produced it, yeah. I think she was in it as well.

She was right. Oh God. They never did a season two of that. So good. My boss said I'm on my phone too much at work. Is it crazy that this has made me start to look for a new job help? Am I crazy? Is this, did you write this one?

Is this you? I actually have a funny story about this. I got fired from an internship in college because I was on my phone too much. Oh, wow. Yeah. Interesting. So the boss has said you're on your phone too much. Yeah. And they're like, yeah, so I'm just going to go get a new job then. Okay, no. That's not a good idea because then the same thing is going to happen again in your next job. Like you probably need to like stop being on your phone too much. I know. But like sometimes we can't help it. Well, you should start helping it.

I know. Like, I actually was like texting this guy and like he would, for some reason he was like only texting me like kind of late at night, like before midnight. And then at midnight he would then be like, gotta go. I gotta put my phone away. And then he sent me a photo of like this, this basically like secure box that he would lock his phone in like at night to like not go on it anymore. I don't know. I thought that was a bit of a red flag.

Oh, really? He locked his phone away. And also I'm like, you're locking your phone away when you're sleeping. Yeah, what if something happens? But also like, you're sleeping anyway. So like, what's the point? Right. I mean, maybe it's so he doesn't sit up and scroll. Yeah, probably. I'm a big scroller.

yeah like right i'm like i am thinking that something is needs to change like in the world like i've been thinking about it recently like i actually feel like what if we all like revolted and we're like we're not going to be on social media anymore i am not partaking in that revolt well yeah i know but like i've been thinking about it because i do feel like people's brains are being altered like and people are like

getting more depressed and all these like quite negative things. So I feel like we're all addicted to our phones and social media because like the algorithms make us be. And I'm like, at some point we're going to all just be like, we can't take this anymore.

Yeah, I will definitely wait for other people to lead the charge on that. But like, I am a follower, though, like I will partake in it if everyone else is. But the thing is, I am so addicted, like when I'm without my phone, like and I've been addicted to plenty of things in my life. I was very addicted to weed, the puff, like this, that and the third. There is no addiction like that in my phone.

Like, I, like, scratch myself. When I don't have my phone, I'm like, where is it? Yeah, I mean, I actually have that, too, to be fair. I am also addicted to my phone. Like, I feel, like, my friend Brett, like, I'm pretty sure her, like, thumb is, like, permanently like this. Because, like, we're always on our phones so much. It's like this. Yeah. What are we going to do about it? I don't know. Let go and let God. Revolt? I think there should be an uprising. Yeah. You can start it. Viva la revolution. Yeah, against the phones. No.

I saw my friend's boyfriend with another girl. They're in their honeymoon phase and my friend gets super defensive about him. How should I tell her? Hey, girl, your boyfriend's cheating on you. What if she's like, you're lying? Okay, well, I don't know. I saw your, what? I saw your boyfriend with another girl. I would prescribe season two of Jersey Shore when Jenny and Snooki tell Sammy that Ron is cheating on her via a note.

Okay. Do the note then. Do the note. And you know, it gets them in trouble and Jenny beats Sam's ass and it's a whole to do. Actually, that's maybe problematic because people think Sammy beat Jenny's ass, but I thought Jenny beat Sammy's ass. I think the note is a good idea. Yeah. Because it's going to be an anonymous note. Until it's not. But for you, in your case, it probably is. But I feel like they're her friend. It's going to be like, this is bullshit. Yeah. But then, or you could, or you could confront the guy.

What if he's like, who's going to believe you? Well, maybe he'll be like... Ooh, record the conversation. Yeah, yeah, with like a secret mic. Yeah. Yeah, and a camera. All right, well, that was our last Tell Me What's Wrong. Oh, okay. Well, Amelia, what did we learn today? We learned about loads of new TV shows that you can be prescribed when you have a problem. Uh-huh. And we learned...

You have something wrong with your nose. Yes, deviated septum. A deviated septum. I learned that you're not a foodie. I'm not a foodie. And I've learned that you're really, really good at prepping for things and you work very hard. Oh, thank you. That's my biggest takeaway is that you work super hard and you have a really good mindset. Yes, I do. And I've learned today that you are incredibly talented naturally. And that's annoying. Yeah.

Okay. Well, Amelia, thanks for stopping by the therapist's office. Thank you for having me. Want to say a little bye, pussies? Goodbye, pussies.