Session 72: Lizzo
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Hi pussies, welcome back to Therapus. If I look a little tired, it's because I just woke up from a nap. I took a really early flight this morning. I was at the Webby's last night and I actually won a Webby for comedy and I just wanted to say thank you guys.

I love you all so much, and I wouldn't be possible without you. But tonight, we have Lizzo on the podcast, who I adore. She came on, and it was really, really, really fun. And we had such a lovely time together. And we talked about her new album and her road up until here and...

We talked about our favorite TV shows, and it was amazing. I'm sorry if I seem so fucking tired. It's because I'm, like, literally...

So fucking tired. But yeah, I'm really, really excited for you guys to see tonight's episode. I love Lizzo. She was so awesome to hang out with and it was so fun. So I hope you guys enjoyed it as much as I did. Oh, well, we start back on tour this week. I forgot. We start back on tour. So I go back on tour Friday. We're going to San Francisco, which I am so, so, so excited for. If you want to get tickets to a show, go to pastthatpost.com. Click live with Jake Shane to see if I'm coming to a city near you. And if you want to get tickets to a show,

And if you want to submit a tell me what's wrong, go to pass that post dot com and click tell me what's wrong and leave a name and number if you're feeling fancy. I love you pussies. Enjoy tonight's episode.

You know what's so crazy? When I first came out, it was like 2019, 2020. Podcasts were not like popping and like the thing. So I never, I didn't do any podcasts. I don't have a podcast trail. I don't have a paper podcast trail. So then by now, it's been three years since my last like album. And now it's like podcasts. That's like the fucking thing to do. I'm having so much fun.

That is so interesting. So the press cycle has completely changed for you guys. Completely changed. Oh, wow. First it was like radio and a lot of like traditional media, tradmede. And you're like sitting in a hotel room and it's like you sitting on the couch and then like they just send a new person in every 10 minutes and they ask the same questions. No shade. And how many people would you do like a day? Wow, this is getting really...

Woo! Don't just chime in now. Rewind and get a little bit of context. Oh, yeah. Sorry. I just realized how that sounded. Yeah, I'm sitting on a bed in a hotel room. I had about like, it would be, I can give you the time. I'd wake up at 6 a.m. Oh. I'd start around like after glam, 10 or something. I'd be done at like midnight talking to people. So I don't know how many people that is, but they would fill me up, honey. Yeah.

I was chock full of people. That's crazy. This is so much cooler. I mean, like once again, no more shade, but this is cool because I get to sit in people's environments. Right. Right. Real people. And it's a different vibe. Every podcast, which is amazing. I love that. Have you done a podcast that you like love? Yours. Oh, love you. Love you. Yeah. They paid me to say that. No, I'm,

I love you. This is a great vibe already. I love you too. And I have loved you since. Well, I was thinking about, I was like, when did I like fall in love with Lizzo's music? And I remember, I was thinking about, there was two moments. Okay. So the first moment was that sink in someone great for truth hurts. Yeah.

Great. One of the all-time favorite things. Yeah. Because I remember that. Okay. So the reason that I love that thing so much is because that made me watch the movie. Wow. So I remember seeing a clip from it. I don't know if it was in the trailer or something. I think it might have been. And I remember thinking, oh, I want to watch the movie because of that clip and that song. So that was when I think I discovered you. But then you also were at Coachella 2019. Woo!

And I was just like listening to the lineups music and me and one of my best friends, Caroline, were just obsessed with Good As Hell. Wow. Yeah. The sync changed my fucking life. Yeah. I didn't even know that was...

Mind you, I'm like the top synced person at my label. So I've been getting synced since the beginning. Like female rap is very syncable, especially back when I started like 2017, 18. So I was syncing all the time and I'll get emails and it's like literally every day. And they'll be like, hey, they want to use you in this commercial. They want to use you in this TV show. And I just go up.

it and it wasn't even like it didn't register that it was like gonna be this big moment it was just like another thing to me mind you truth hurts have been out for like three years at that point oh had it really yeah I put out truth hurts in like 2017 and I think they put in something great 2018 2019 yeah I was like okay cool yeah

That shit went so crazy. It launched Truth Hurts to a number one song. A song that had been out for three years. From that one sync. And mind you, it was very routine for me. I was like, okay. Approved. Approved. Approved. But listen, that one approval can change your life. Okay? If you watching at home, always say yes. Well, well, well.

But have like a year of yes. You know what I mean? A year of yes. Yeah. And I think that's what, you know, there's something so cool about that because that's what that movie is kind of about as well. You know, it's like about saying yes and doing things. So it's cool that saying yes got you that. Yeah. Yeah. Pretty cool. Pretty rude. I don't even know if that's like the heart of the message. It's not like just saying yes, but it's just like, it's the little things. You just never know what can change your life. Right. Like what was the little thing that changed your life?

What was the moment where you were like, oh shit? Getting really high one night and making a funny video. What was the video? It was like some skit. It was like John Hancock, something about the Declaration of Independence. Oh, because he wrote his name big as fuck. Oh my God, I'm trying to act too cool. Like I know word for word, bar for bar what it was. Don't be cool. This is not the place to be cool. It was John Hancock writing his name too big and someone being like...

You know what I mean? And so I was super high when I did it. And then it just changed my entire life. Crazy. Because it just went crazy. It just like led me to, speaking of yes, I kept making videos like that. I just didn't stop. Wow. I would like pump out like four or five a day during that time period. And it just blew up over the course of a week. How did you think of that many things in a day? Well, people would comment them. So people would be like, do this, do this, do this, do this. Amazing. Yeah. And I would just, it was like improv. People, are you an improv?

Well, I don't want to say yes because I don't want to like disrespect actual people that do improv. But like that is what I did. You took a class. You took an improv class. You know, I played like – what was the game you played during improv? Have you played improv? Have you done improv before? What's it like?

You've played Zip Zap Zam, so now you think you can be on SNL? Yeah, essentially. Have you played Zip Zap Zam? I've never played Zip Zap Zam. Okay, so... My life is Zip Zap Zam. Right, right. My life is one big improv. I'm like, oh shit, what's going to happen next? You know, you joke through it. You laugh your way through. That is like my number one belief, is like, you laugh through the pain. Yeah.

Like laugh through the pain. That's what my music is though. My music is like the joy through the pain. I'm like, wow, this was actually really shitty. How do I turn this into a silver lining? How do I turn this into a hit? Right. And I do every time. It's therapy. What song do you remember specifically being in the studio and like feeling so much pain and then having a moment that created a song that sounded like the complete opposite? Oh my God. That is so funny. That's a really good question because that's now where I thought you were going.

The complete opposite. Soulmate may be that. I'm my own soulmate. I know how to love me. I know that I'm hold me down. That's on. Cause I love you. Check it out. That I was crying in the studio when I wrote it, I was crying and I wrote that song because it was who I wanted to be. I was like, when I sing this song in a year, this,

me. I will believe these words. But bitch, I did not believe those words when I was writing it. Interesting. Yeah. So you were like manifesting. It was a manifestation. Do you believe in manifesting? Gross. What? Yes. Me too. Yeah. But I do it like differently. Like how do you manifest? Well, I don't even think it's like something that

Oh, you know what manifestation is? You don't believe in manifestation. You believe in yourself. That's what true manifestation is. I agree. It's like, I need to state these things about my life that I want to be true. And sometimes it's just like maladaptive daydreaming. Like when I was a kid, I would, I didn't need TV. I didn't need movies. I didn't need Nan. I could sit and just like fantasize about things. And I would just like imagine my life. And I,

I know this is going to sound so silly, but I used to like hold little like shampoo bottles and stuff and like do speeches in the mirror. I would be like, I just want to thank my mommy and my daddy. This is such a huge honor. And my stuffed animals like, I don't know why I did that kind of stuff. But then I look up and I'm actually there and I'm like, oh, my God, I used to like practice this when I was a kid. I used to play award show when I was like eight. Does it feel like what you thought it would feel like? No, absolutely not.

seemed so fun. No, I know. I know. I know what you mean. I try to make award shows really fun by just telling myself I'm not going to win. It's like the opposite of manifestation for me. I'll go to the Grammys and be like, I'm here to get drunk with Adele. Yeah. And then I do. And then I win record of the year. And I was like, fuck, I didn't think of anything.

I didn't play anything. But that's how I make it fun for me. I'm like, it's prom. I get to dress up. I get to look cute. I have a date and I get to drink free drinks. Right. That that's yeah. That's the eight year old me coming out. Was you, did you perform that song Jerome at the Grammys? I performed Jerome at the AMAs. Oh, I love that performance. Yes. I love that performance. The memes that were burst from that. Really? Yeah. I, I,

And then like, remember the old lady praying and then like the world exposed? That was like my favorite one from that. Yeah. Oh, that's funny. I didn't know memes were made out of that one. I thought you were going to say, I didn't know memes existed back then. No, no. Oh. I'm a Gen Alpha diva. You're Gen Alpha? I'm Gen Alpha. I was born yesterday. Can't you tell? I'm fucking gum. Oh.

I was like, what is Gen Alpha? I forgot that there's a generation younger than Gen Z. Oh, let me tell you something. Gen Beta has just been born. First Betas. Oh, yeah. All of Gen Z's karma. And I don't even know what they're going to do to Gen A. I mean, I just feel my issue with Gen Alpha is like, and I was looking up. Not you beefing with them already. Yeah.

What is wrong with you zeers? Well, I was just saying, because I'm, like, I was looking on TikTok the other day, and someone was, like, and honestly, same goes for my generation. Like, they were, like, you guys can't be cringe anymore. You can't try anymore. You can't try anything. Like, that's something millennials had that, like, we didn't. Like, was that, like, they were cringe because they tried. They, like, did it all because there wasn't someone immediately being, like, oh, that's not. Yeah.

Like, you know what I mean? Right. You know, like, I, and it's like, I don't know. It's fear, you know? Everybody's like, everybody's a snitch, you know what I mean? Like, the club is full of ops. Yes. You know, and you're like being filmed and it's like, I dare you to have fun, bitch. Have fun. Have fun.

Oh, let loose. Dance like no one's watching, bitch, because I got you. Seven million people will be watching you, Barry, so you're going to go viral just for living your life, but not for the good reasons. Right. All viral ain't good viral. No. The internet don't know that. They think all viral is good viral. It's not. It's like all press is good press. It's like, no. Sometimes when my video is going viral, I have like an anxiety attack. Really? And I'll be like, oh, fuck. I'll be like, what did

something wrong because I don't read comments anymore and I don't like I don't have context with anything anymore I live in a bubble so I'll send it off and I'll be like like to my friend my best friend I'll be like like so what they say they eat me up or am I eating them up yeah you know but like no it's terrifying did you when did you stop reading comments

About two years ago. It's liberating. Liberating? Liberating. I used to, and I never read like, I never like scrolled through my comments because that sounds like hell. But also TikTok comments got so mean. You know what I really stopped? The fairy backhanded compliments trend. Oh, with the little thing that was like, what would it say again? It was like, oh, cute. Love your, I don't even know. It would be like, that's so cute. Maybe you should stop breathing. Yeah.

wait, what bitch? And so I stopped after that. Cause I was like, they might trick me with a cute emoji and say something evil. No, they get nasty in there. Yeah, they do. There's always a new, a new, a new one that like, there's like so many, like right now, what are they saying right now? Right now it's like, Jesus loves you. He died for you. He died for your sins. And now they're saying Gaga loves you. She died for your sins. They say that.

they'll change it to whoever their like diva is. And I'm like, what is happening? What is going on in the comment section? I feel like Stan, that whole culture is so, I have related it to organized religion. Stan culture. Yes. I think it's like organized religion. There's a church of, who are they?

Whoever they worship. Yeah, there's the Church of the Beehive. Right. It's their own church. Lovely. I mean, listen, I love that. Yeah. That makes it make sense a little bit. Right. They all have their different, like, outfits that they wear. They have their different praise and worship. Yeah. Their different service. Their communion. Exactly. Wow. Are you excited for the Cowboy Carter tour? Oh.

I got to get my outfit. So... My outfit for Renaissance sucked. Really? I had like a hat and boots. I think I called it a day. That's the Cowboy Carter look, though. No, but it was like silver boots. If I remember... It was like silver. It was silver everything. I think. Whatever. I had the best night of my life. Yeah, of course. Well, Beyonce has a habit of playing shows on my birthday. The first one is LA, right? No way. No. Is it LA? Am I wrong? Somebody Google it. Because I have...

I have a story if it's true and if it's not true. I don't have a story. First one is L.A., April 28th.

Hell yeah. So my birthday is April 27th, but we're going to say that it's the 28th for the sake of the story. But she has a habit of starting her tours on my birthday and I have a habit of going to whatever city she's in. So are you going to go to LA? I'm going to fly to LA. I'm going to fly from my house too. I mean, I'm here. I live here. Oh, okay. You live here. You live here. I'm flying from Bev Hills to Inglewood to see her perform. I'm so excited. When did you move to LA? I moved.

to LA in 2016. Oh my God. The golden years of LA. The golden years. Oh, right. Cause what did they say? Like this, it was 2016. Yeah. It was 2016. Yeah. Wow. I'm so lucky. Yeah. Like I never got to experience that. I mean, I did, but like, I wasn't like clubbing at the time. Yeah. Neither was I. I was like stressed out and working. Cause I moved here for a gig. Yeah.

I lived in Minneapolis, and I really loved it. I had a beautiful house on the north side. I loved my quiet life. What is... Belle from Beauty and the Beast, this provincial... I had a provincial life. I could walk to the coffee shop and have a coffee and a bagel. It was very green and beautiful. Then it was like, okay, move to L.A.,

or stay in Minneapolis and not you know work on this album with Atlantic Records not have this TV show with MTV and I was like can I just fly every week right and they were I was really like they were dragging me and then I finally did it and I'm really happy I did because I love working and I love LA but um I know a lot of people move here and they shit on LA they're like oh I hate it here but you know I just have to be here to work I actually do really like LA now I love it it grows on you when you're not so fucking lonely it's just

It is the most lonely place in the world. Yeah. My parents always said that because my mom is like, is like New York and my dad's like LA and my mom's like, I just can't be in LA. It's so lonely. It's so isolating. Yeah. You need people. She always uses this example of like one time I threw up on the street when I was a kid and no one in LA like stopped and looked and like asked if I needed help. But she was like, if we were in New York, everyone would be like, are you okay? Like, hey, you good here? Yeah. But,

That's what they say about the West Coast is like they pretend to be nice, but they're actually mean. And East Coast is they pretend to be mean, but they're actually nice. Okay. I've never heard that. That's interesting. And then the Midwest is actually just nice. Yeah. The Midwest is lovely. Yeah. Wait. So were you, how long have you been playing shows for? It's been 84 years. I've been playing shows. Like when you say shows, you mean like just like getting on stage and rocking out? Yeah. Yeah.

I've been playing shows since I was like 19. Okay, wow. I've been playing shows for like half of my life. Does part of you ever miss like... Okay, because you weren't expecting everything to blow up, right? No. But you had like a pretty like loyal fan base and you had like... Like you were like... What cap size rooms were you playing before everything blew up? I was doing pretty good. Yeah. I was in like large theaters so I could do like 5K. I grossed like a million dollars independent. Were you like...

Like, did you were you like, if everything stopped now, like, I'm good. Like, this is amazing. And then it got that was the tip. That was the moment. I remember I put out Truth Hurts in 2017. And I was like, this is the best song I've ever done to date because about damn time is the best. But I did Truth Hurts and I was like, this is the best video, best song. I was like, hell yeah. And I put it out and it didn't really get like any pickup or any attention or anything like that. And I was like, huh, interesting. And I was like, you know what?

That's it. And it was kind of dark for me because I was like, I don't want to even try anymore for that. I was like, I just want to be happy with what I have. It was a darkness that I don't want to talk about, but I'm just going to skip to the positive. Because at this point, because I'm so successful, it's going to sound like I'm complaining, so I won't even say that. But I will say, I was like, you can tour on your own, you can take care of your family financially, and you make really good music and you have a great fan base. I...

I am now going to just focus on being a career artist that can tour. Like, that's it. You know, I don't need to be signed to no big majors and be a pop star. I don't need that shit. I'm happy with what I have. And once happy with it, sudden they want to blow a bitch up. No, I know. But that's what they say happens. That's the reason I ask is because

And before this on a much smaller scale, like I like that happened with me and like what I what I what I was in life like I was working at a record label and I was like making TikToks for fun. And I was just like, oh, my God, like life is so fun. Yeah. And then it all became serious really quickly. It's like when you're having fun and you're like you're like you enter that like brief period of like.

True authenticity and like true happiness. Like everyone can sense it and they're like, give it right. You got to be like content, right?

with where you are and not chase. So you can attract. Cause I feel like not just with career, like relationships too. I find that like I attract the best people, romantic or platonic when I'm on my path and I'm like happy. Right. And I'm like taking care of myself. I attract really healthy, happy, good partners and partnerships and friendships in my life. When I'm going through the trenches and I'm struggling and searching and

You know, desperate. Because I've been desperate a few times. Oh, I am. I am desperate. I'm so desperate. I'm the most desperate person alive. I attract, you know, people who are negative and suck on that negative energy. Interesting. How do you feel like cultivating relationships changed pre and post, like, real, real fame? Baby, it's not even possible anymore to have a, I, like, let me tell you something about me.

the friendliest bitch. I loved talking to strangers. It was so fun for me. Ever since I was a little kid, my mom said we were at like Disneyland or something and she couldn't find me for like five minutes. It was like, oh fuck, we lost Melissa. And then she found me because we were all at the pool and she said she found me by the hot tub talking to a bunch of adults just being like, yeah,

And I was like a little, I was like single digit. And my mom was like, oh shit. And she was like, I'm so sorry. You know, the kid who's talking to the parent comes like, I'm so sorry. And they're like, no, she was fine. I love talking to strangers. Um, and then all of a sudden, once you become famous, you can't really do that anymore. You know what I mean? Mostly because like, nobody's really a stranger. Yeah.

People know who you are for the most part. And so it just becomes kind of like a transaction. Like I noticed the first time I really noticed that somebody like

asked me for a photo on when i was on a plane and i was like i was like yeah after the flight you know yeah i looked crusty dusty musty busty but this was like early days so i was like she ain't gonna follow up on that shit right lo and behold the flight ended and i was like all right got off the plane i felt her chasing me i said she chasing me that's crazy so i was like let me run let me you know i'm running you know for the plot right yeah

Ended up in like one of those little like magazine corner stores inside the airport. And she cornered me and I was like, no fucking way. I was trying to say, I was like, how far is she going to take it? She said, can I have my picture now? No. Yeah. So I was like, oh, your picture is our picture. Right. And we took the photo. And that's when I realized like things just become a little transactional. Right. And.

That's the part you sign up for. 100%. And that's the part, but you don't know when that moment happens. You're, you know...

It's non-transactional, and you're a stranger to everybody. And then, like, seemingly overnight, it becomes very transactional, and you're everybody's friend. And it's just like, know your role, bitch. And now I know my role. You know what I mean? And I understand it now. But when you don't understand it, it can be a little scary, a little jarring at first. I think it also changed when TikTok came about because everybody—

everybody can share their experience. Oh, absolutely. You know what I mean? So it's like back in the day, if somebody had a bad experience with Tom Cruise, it could end up on like the gossip blogs, but that's as far as it would get taken. You know what I mean? And now it's like my experience with Tom Cruise, 500,000 likes, and it's the story of the week. You know what I mean? What that actually happened to me. And it was like, it was kind of heartbreaking to me because it was like 2020, 2020,

if I could describe what being in full press and radio press promo and touring is like, or I guess was like pre COVID pre lockdown. It was, it was not, I'm, I pride myself on being a hard worker. This is, there's nothing like waking up at 6. A.M. Being in glam. Mind you, you, you landed the night before, right? You just landed in a new city, maybe 10. P.M. You go to bed, you wake up at,

maybe if you go to bed by one or two, you lucky because it takes me a lot to get to sleep. You're in glam, which is great. I love my life, but I'm just giving people some insight because they don't know. Then you go to the first, you do radio all through the morning because radio is in the morning and that's back-to-back-to-back-to-back interviews. Then you get to the hotel and you sit down and you do back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back press interviews. Then after that, you do your soundcheck.

and the soundcheck is normally when you're first starting off for radio. So there's a lot of radio winners who come in or there's a lot of like meet and greet fans who come in. So you do like a soundcheck party. You're singing mind you during those radio performances earlier, you're also performing live on air because you're,

promoting your music, you know? So you're performing all morning. You're doing interviews all morning. You do a soundcheck party and perform for fans. Then you maybe get like a little second, but in that little second, they put down a thick packet of like, hi, this is Lizzo and you're listening to radio 5, 2, 3, 4, 1 bitch. Okay. Go Orlando.

And you're doing that and you're getting through that or you're doing, hey, what's up, Spotify? It's your girl, Lizzo. You're doing that when you're supposed to be like eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, but you don't. Then you back and glam for the show. Then you get on stage, you perform the show. Then after the show, you're on the bus or the plane to the next city to do it all over again. So that was my life for about...

Two years. And I was kind of raggedy. I'm not going to hold you. I was raggedy. And I was pushing it because it's like I wanted to have a social life. I wanted to have friends. I wanted to... And I was drinking. I was partying. I was turning up. So some of these meet and greets, I was kind of literally like... Right, right. You know? And it's like, man...

I wish that I could have been more in my body, but I was a little anxious. I was a little exhausted. And there were people online and they were just like, I had a meet and greet with Lizzo and she was just like, like not...

there and like it was weird and she wasn't even like she didn't even look at me and i was like damn i felt so bad because i'm like i know i probably met this person in that window of time where i was just like probably exhausted or probably like so highly caffeinated or you know what i mean or just like zoned out to my happy place and it's like i can't explain that to them you know and i feel really bad about it but that's that was my first time realizing oh wow like you know

there can be misconceptions and you're not in control of it. Right. Like you mean something to somebody, you mean something to somebody when they look at your videos and they're like, Oh my God, Oh my gosh, he's so funny. I like him. He's so likable. And then you do something that's not so funny and not so likable. It hurts their feelings because you mean something to them, you know? And that's an important role to, um,

and be aware of. Right. You know, but it's a hard lesson to be, to learn that one. Yeah. That's a hard lesson to learn, honey. Oh, I know. I'm, I know I'm going to have to learn it eventually. And it gives me so much anxiety. I'm like, I don't, I, I care what everybody has to say about me. And I've like, I've, oh, just since I was a kid. And it's like, I know I want to do this and I know I want to be in this space, but like, I literally like, you're like, I don't read comments. I can't help, but read comments. Like I can't help it.

Because that's how you built it. You built it by connecting. Oh my God, I used to love reading comments. And they would be like, oh my gosh, do this or eat this next. And I'll be like, oh, okay, I'll try that. That sounds good. But now it's like, no, I can't. And it kind of does make me feel a little disconnected from like, because I used, man, I'm such a TikTok girl. I was on TikTok since 2019, like doing the renegade OG, like triple OG. And I think now it's like,

But I think the app has changed as well. I think that platform has completely changed. I think comment section is like a stand-up show now. And I'll be getting my life. Now that shit I read. I see other people's comments crying laughing. Oh, right now my favorite shit is like if there's a video of any cat, a cat doing anything, the top comment is always, his greed sickens me. No. His greed sickens me. It'll be a cat like eating corn on the cob.

Or like this is the greed they talk about in the Bible. Yes. Gluttony. Deuteronomy chapter four. I'm like, bitch, y'all are on one. Like who the fuck is coming up with this shit? Like nobody's beating the TikTok comment section right now. Oh God. Sometimes opening up when it's not your video, opening up the comments and just like knowing what you're going to see. Oh, it's the best. And then sometimes when it's not there, the top comment will be like, am I a fucked up person? Because I didn't find the comment I was looking for.

Yo! So anyway, I think just be yourself, man. That was the lesson that I learned is like you can't really control it. You know, people are going to say what they want to say about you. People are going to believe things about you that aren't true. People are going to, you know, believe things about you that

you like where the fuck that come from right and then there are people there's people who are going to believe you and believe who you are and the only way they're going to do that is if you continue to show the world who you are you know there is a brand that sort of begins to develop you know you're a person but then all of a sudden when you're not when you don't belong to yourself anymore and you belong to the public you that becomes a brand right and i think that

when you drink Coca-Cola, you know what to expect. I'm like, I know this brand. It's going to be fizzy. It's going to be sweet and it's going to burn a little bit. Might kill me one day. But one day if you drink it and it's all of a sudden thick, if Coca-Cola like kind of hard to get out, I'm like, what the fuck

the Coca-Cola I know and love. Right. I'm throwing this shit away. So you, you know what I mean? You kind of have to like remove yourself from yourself. Yeah. And sometimes that's what my therapist, when I first noticed I was getting like famous, I was like in this movie called hustlers. Uh huh. And, um, should I got the Oscar? And I'm like,

People say that. People really ride for that fucking movie. I was in that movie and I was like really excited. I was like, I'm going to go watch it. And I went to the movies. I didn't even tell nobody I was going to go watch it. I just went to the movies to go watch it. You know, I paid for everybody's seat. We like had a whole theater to ourselves because I was on tour and I can't remember which city I was in. I left the theater and it was like people outside waiting for me. Fans. And I was like, wait a minute. How is it going to be here? Like what the fuck is going on? And that was really cool.

But I think after that, I started noticing more things. It was like when I wanted to go out, like me and my friends, we would go out to lunch on tour. We would just go out and eat. And that became like a burden. And I was like, damn, like I have to get a car. I have to get security. I have to get all these things. I'm holding y'all back. Just go without me. And I was just like sitting in my hotel room by myself. And I was like, what the fuck is going on?

this to be my I want to enjoy this life so I talked to my therapist and she said you know what you're experiencing is you're mourning a piece of yourself that's now gone right and just identify what that is and mourn it because it's gone and that is a little bit of your autonomy you know there is a piece of yourself that's like this isn't mine anymore right you have to give it away and that's

Fine. That's fine if you make it okay. If it's not fine, then take it back. But that's a part of being a public figure now. It's always been, but especially with social media. Right. It's like seriously elevated. Yeah. Do you think any of those feelings and any of the things you've learned in the past three years have bled into your new album? Oh, wow. Absolutely. One thing about me that I'm so grateful for is that like,

Music is my therapist, has always been my boyfriend, my doctor. And I've always, like, there is not one album that wasn't directly impacted by, like, my personal life. I feel like this album, though, Love In Real Life,

It's going to hit even more because people didn't know what my personal life was like when I was writing. Cause I love you a hundred percent. They didn't know what the fuck I was going to do. I just popped up. I was a new girl, right? Pop girl on the scene. Okay, cool. It's a cute little bop. Right. With special, we were in lockdown and I, and nobody, there was no personal life, right? You were just in your space. You were in your bubble. And I was trying to write music that would help people get out of this time. I was like, this album is going to come out.

I'm praying that it's going to come out when we're out of lockdown. What does that feel like for people? What does that look like for people? I got to remind people that they're special. I got to say it's about damn time to turn up the music and like step back out. You know, everybody's gay. I wrote it and I was like, everybody's going to be partying. Everyone's going to be so excited to get in pride. It's going to be lit because we're just back outside. So that was almost like a fantasy. And this album is like,

like a diary of like October, 2023 to like November, 2024 of just like almost chronologically of like what you go through. And it's like, you have to kind of, ah, you know, it's so wild. You were like, there's a part of you that you have to kind of just like say goodbye to, or like, it's not whatever. Like we were talking about that. You said something really pointy. I can't remember what it was. Rewind the tape. But, um,

I think I just, even though I first started talking to my therapist in 2019 about mourning a part of myself, I don't think I had the actual funeral for that part of myself until now. I think that I had been learning that lesson since then. And, and it been knocking me over the head and I've been ignoring it and knocking me over the head. And then this time it was like, you do not belong to you anymore. Lizzo is an idea, a brand, an entity in the world that,

has projected it onto you got it that projection can be beautiful that projection can look very similar to you that projection can also be very ugly and that projection can be not you at all but it's what they perceive and there's nothing you can do about it so now what and I think that like once I really had that lesson hit and was like whoa I

I'm really fucking famous, bitch. This is like, this is not just you got a cute song and people know who you are. This is like, bitch. Everyone knows Lizzo. Yeah. And for better or for worse. And I think once I mourned that, and it was so ugly. Oh my God. I...

Oh, it was ugly. It was dark. It was very depressing. Like me mourning a part of myself for like the idea that I, you know, can control my narrative or like own my narrative because I can control it. I just don't own it anymore. Right. It was like cutesy. I was like, oh, yeah.

It's fine, though. I'm dealing with it. No, the real deal, once you really go through it, you're like, oh, my God, I'm so depressed. Like, is my life over? Is my life over? Is this... Is what I... I kept thinking that. I was like, damn, my life is over. Oh, my God. It was really dark. But I think a part of my life was over. You know, the part of me that I was like, this is really me. You know, you get to be like really you in the world. And then now it's like, no, I don't. Right. You know, I am...

whatever they want me to be. Like when Eminem was like, I am whatever you say I am. If I wasn't, then why would you say I am? I am.

is he talking about? But now I get it. Shout out to Eminem because I totally get that. Right. And I think that this album, like even Still Bad is just like, you know, remember Grease when Sandy pulls up to the fair and she's like, what's up, Stung? Yeah, of course, yeah. Like stomps out a cigarette. Bitch, you don't smoke. Right, yeah. Still Bad is very like, ugh.

I'm, I'm, you want me to be the bad guy? I'm the bad guy. Awkward. Right. I mean, but like you go through these stages of like grieving, you know, and, and it's like a relationship with the world. And I always say still bad is like my breakup moment.

song to the world and now it's like but the on the album you see us across yeah they text me you up the world is like you up and i'm like bitch i might be right right you know wait and see what you just said reminded me of what you said about um the song soulmate it's like you were trying to convince yourself that you were this person in the studio so would you say still bad was kind of like how you felt while recording soulmate just about a different feeling

when I was writing still bad, what was I going through? I think it was like February, 2024.

What year is this? It's 25. Honestly, today I was like, have I lost track? No, time. Hey. Post-COVID, it's done. Straight up? Yeah. It's not a getting older thing. Time is moving fast for everybody. It's not a getting older thing, and it is something I think unique to the world we live in right now. Yes. Do you think it's social media? Do you think we're being microwaved by social media? Yes, I do. I think we're doom scrolling, and I think we pick up our eyes sometimes, and we're like, oh my God, what year is it? What day is it? Yes, where am I? Yeah.

whoa, we got to do something about that. We won't. I know. I'm like, anyways, I just saw a TikTok of a guy saying that somebody was talking too much and he did this to them in real life and he was like, oh shit. Are you serious? He's not trying to scroll away on a bitch in real life. He was like, I have to touch grass.

Immediately. Oh, I say I need to lay in grass and eat it and feel it. I need to be the grass. Listen, don't let that ever turn... Don't let that just become a buzzword or turn into an insult because grass is that bitch. Grass is... No, grass is really her. Have you ever been stressed out and ready to crash the fuck out and then you step outside barefoot in some grass on a sunny day? Oh, yeah, and it tickles your feet? And you're just like...

It's like earth is like a sound bowl and it's like a vibration. It's like a massage for your spirit. Don't sleep on, don't sleep on touching grass. No, I agree. I, I'm always like, I know I need to touch grass, but yeah, it is like we are being microwaved by social media. Like I am like, I cannot believe that guy scrolled on someone in real life. He was like, I said, bitch, we're doomed. We're doomed. Have you seen the black mirror episode? Uh,

Nosedive? No. It's very similar to, I think, actually what our society has turned into. Oh, no. Like, everybody, like, walks around with a rating above their head. And it's, like, reminds me of, like, cancel culture and how quickly as a society we're ready to, like, zero stars, you know? Like, and I think, I don't know, I just, it's so interesting. It is. And I think, God, it's so, we're fucked. Canceling is such a weird thing.

I was going to say, I wish it was more effective. You know what I mean? Because as easy as it is to cancel someone, it's easy for them to be uncanceled. It doesn't really mean anything anymore. You know what I mean? I think it's because when you go so hard for something...

It's human nature for other people to be like, I kind of feel bad. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Like, oh, I kind of feel bad. Yes. Like, well, you're too harsh. Yes. So when you go, it's how, and I have had to learn this in my own life, it's the message can be right, but it's how you deliver it that's wrong. Yeah. So it's like, it's not up to...

up to you whether other people fuck with this person anymore or not or other people it's not up to you whether other people are going to still like this person or not. Right. It's up to you what you want to do. What do you want to do? Right. And like these people that are like we should all not like this person right someone eventually is going to be like

kind of bad. Yeah. And that also just gives that person more attention. Right. Now people are intentionally trying to, what is it called? It's called, um, rage, rage, yes, rage baiting. I see people like intentionally trying to get canceled to like start careers. And I'm like, Oh my God, what if, what has happened? What has we DOS?

I feel like, you know, for me, I've been, I've been canceled a lot, you know? Well, I mean, you can't, I shouldn't say I've been canceled cause I'm still going, but, um, I've gotten backlash a lot. And from literally every single time I've received backlash, I use it as a growing and learning lesson. Like from the first time I, the first time I ever got backlash was I synced my song good as hell to my

Weight Watchers after Oprah bought it. So it was like, Oprah wants to use your song. Lost my mind. I was like, it was like, it was 2016. It was Coachella. It was back in the day. And I was like, oh my God, Oprah knows who I am. I was like, yes, yes. And they had rebranded to WW, not Weight Watchers, all of this stuff. And I remember posting the commercial because I was so proud. And everybody was like,

you're fucking joking, right? Like this is promoting eating disorders. I got an eating disorder using weight. Not me personally, but the comics were like, I got an eating disorder doing Weight Watchers. Like, and I was like, oh my God, it broke my heart. Really? It truly broke my heart. I first tried to explain myself. I was like, guys, like, I'm a young black girl. Oprah was all we had growing up and she wants to use my song like that. It's not even about the money. I was like, that's just really fucking cool and a milestone to me. But it's like,

They don't care about that. You know? And also you should know now that you have a, me Lizzo should know. Now I have a platform that affects people. And even if my intention was good, it's still going to, who knows, you know, affect somebody in a negative way down the road. I could post a commercial and they're like, Oh, you know, some young person's like Weight Watchers. They go on there. I don't have control over that. So I think that like, I learned like, Hey, you know,

you know, be careful about the things that you say yes to and think about how it can affect people from every perspective, not just your perspective. Right. Every single time I've gotten backlash. And even if it's for this, I've gotten backlash for wearing a mask during the pandemic. I've gotten backlash for not wearing a mask during the pandemic. Cause I was out in the, I was in a field by myself in the middle of nowhere and I didn't have a mask on. They were like, I'm Jew. Months prior to that in March, I posted myself wearing a mask because I had, um,

I think I had like a sinus infection or something. I was sick. I didn't roll my eyes at either of them. I learned from both of them. So I think some people get backlash and they love it because it makes them, it starts their career. People love, I can't imagine.

It's a horrible feeling. Yeah. I try to avoid it, but I'm such a, I'm such a lightning rod for that. I don't know. I don't, I, you know, going to the Lakers game and twerking with the Lakers girls backlash, you know, I just, cause my booty was out. I know I had on tights. Who cares? Who cares? Oh my God. It was a scandal. So really, you know, but I learned from that too. I've, I learned from everything. Do you ever feel like though, um,

Of course, backlash and accountability is important. But do you ever feel like some people really just enjoy kicking people while they're down? And then it's like you can't tell the difference. And then it's become this. It's become toxic. Everything's become toxic. Yes. And I think that I was definitely I fell for that one. I think that like it was easy for people to kind of kick me and kick me while I'm down as well for years. And I but I fell for it. I'd be like, wait a minute.

You know, I'd be like, okay, well, I fixed the problem and I fixed the problem, you know, every single time. But I think also, you know, you get to a point and now I've officially gotten to the point because, you know, I've had so much like ups and downs and backlashes and scandals that now I'm at the point where it's like I need to differentiate, you know, and not allow some of this stuff to get to me. Like I'll post something or like.

I like when I released Still Bad, one person said, oh, you know, this brand of poptimism just doesn't do it for me anymore. And I spiraled. They were like post COVID. I just can't. And I was like, I am post COVID. Don't you understand? And it's just like.

just let people have opinions on the internet. That don't got nothing to do with you. They don't got nothing to do with the joy of your life. So I feel like not being triggered by everything, you know, and knowing the difference between like somebody now everyone states their opinion on the internet. Like that's just what it is. Knowing the difference between that and the difference between like, Hey, I have to take this narrative back. Right. Like I have to own my own narrative again, I think is a, is a big one. And it's choosing your battles.

Really, truly. Yeah. And there's a lot of battles out there. You could choose a battle a day if you wanted to. A day. Are you nervous for people to have an opinion on the new record or do you welcome it? Because it is so personal, you know? And now everyone will be like, well, this song, everyone will know, you know? This song is about this and this song is about that. Yeah. You know, I'm not going to ever like air out my like, what gets to me, but.

I think that like you can like I got a lot of like fat jokes and, you know, a lot of people, a lot of fat backlash, you know, like for being a bigger girl. It was just like, damn, what the fuck? But I can handle that. I've been called fat and teased my whole life about it. I can handle that. The things that kind of use that bother me is like, damn, my music. I love my music. I feel like I'm so it's like they're like my babies, you know, it's like looking at my baby and being like, baby, ugly.

Yeah. Oh, bitch. Right. That and like the content of my character. Those two things really...

It really used to get under my skin when people had something wrong to say or negative to say or you know what I mean about those two things. I'm very protective and defensive of those. So I am nervous because this new album deals with both of those things directly. The content of my character and my ability as a musician. And I'm like, oh my God, if you don't like this, you don't like me. But it's like, I can't.

I can't think that way. I have to remember that it's still just art to people. Songs come out every day. B I was listening to new music Friday in the gym and the song that somebody had been working on for fucking years came on and I press next. So it's like, it is what it is. And I think that like, I'm learning how to be more protective of myself. Um, and I'm, and I'm building thicker skin because I'm at the point now where I'm

anyone can say anything about me and it can be true. Right. And I have to be okay with that. I have to just live. You know what I mean? Cause it's not the truth. A hundred percent. You know what I mean? Yeah. Is there a song on the record that you feel is like the most vulnerable point in the record? Man, I'd have to say that there are a few vulnerable points, but I have one song that it's not sonically vulnerable, but,

But it's the first time I wrote a song that doesn't have a happy ending. And I normally always like the Lizzo thing to do is to be like, okay, you went through some shit. Walk your fine ass out the door. Or, okay. All right. We going to be all right. This time I was writing it. And I remember being, I was, I wrote it with Ricky Reed and I remember being like, okay, but,

I have to say like, it's going to be okay by like maybe like the bridge or something or how I'm working through it. And he was like, no, you don't have to, if you, if you don't want to. And he was like, and personally, you never do anything like this. So allow yourself to be vulnerable and allow yourself to receive help in a weird way, energetically or ask for help. That is,

Baby, I do not ask for help. I'm a Taurus. I'm terrible. She's a Taurus too. Hello. I love my mom's a Taurus. Oh, we're the best. You guys are the fucking best. You love material things. Yes, we do. But you can be a bitch. Wait, what's your moon? Libra. Oh, okay. That's why she's a bitch. It's not the Taurus. It's the Capricorn. What's your rising? You're not a bitch. We love you. You're a bitch with a backstory. Okay.

She is. She is. So much. One thing about us tourists is we've lived many lives. I'm on like life five right now. Like I've worked every job. I've been through every experience. I accidentally trauma dumped just like reminiscing. I've had one time and then my mom was like, oh my, are you okay? I'm like, I'm not actually. Rising. That's the hard work. Actually work.

Because Taurus is all about hard work and steadfastness. Capricorn is all about hard work. You love making money then because the Capricorn loves making money to make your materialistic Taurus self happy. That's amazing. Libra moon. Are you indecisive though? Maybe, maybe all your earth balances out the Libra, but maybe you can weigh options really well. Maybe you weigh options really quickly because of that. Are you super into astrology? Yeah.

I've known of it for so long and learned so much about it for so long, I have no choice. What's your rising? What's your moon? I'm a Leo rising. Okay. The hair, performer. Right. You know, my moon is Virgo. So very like overthinker, anxious, stomach problems. And then the Taurus. But the Capricorns are always the assholes. God bless them. My chart's the worst. They don't mean to be. What's your chart? Scorpio. Oh, wow. Scorpio, sun. Okay. Okay.

Gemini rising. Oh. Gemini moon. Wait. No. I was going to say, do you have the same chart as my sister? That would be crazy. My sister is Scorpio's son. No, no, no, no, no. Wait. I don't know her chart anymore. And I know everyone's chart. That's embarrassing for me. I don't think your chart is bad. Really? You're Gemini rising? Yeah. If you were Scorpio sun, Gemini moon, I'd be scared. I am. I am.

Oh, you are Gemini Moon. Yeah. And you're Gemini Rising? Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, it's bad. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's bad. I know it's bad. It's bad. I know it's bad. I was really trying, you guys. I really fucking tried. I know. You were like, if you were this, I was like, I think I am that. Oh, my God.

I know. Water, air, air. But then like the Scorpio is also multiple signs because it's the Phoenix. Oh, it is? So you have all this duality in your big three. Are you grounded by anything? What's your Venus? No, I have no idea. I'm not grounded by anything. Like anything. I'm constantly in my head, in the air. Like, I don't know. Wow. And one thing about Scorpios, they always have like really glassy eyes. I think I do have glassy eyes. Your eyes are so glassy and watery and it's just like...

Just beautiful, though. Oh, thank you. Yeah, like almost like a doll's, you know, like a doll has like little glass eyes. Yes, yes. Yeah. But the Gemini, maybe you don't give me Scorpio at all, but maybe that's because of all the Gemini in there. It's the Gemini. The Gemini is so overwhelming. And the Gemini is this. It's how I can talk to people. You made it work for you, honey. I did make it work for me. You really did. And you have nothing in your chart that would indicate that you would make it work for you. Everything in your chart would indicate that you would. Yeah.

Yeah, that it wouldn't work. Right, right. But here you are. Here I am. Air and water. A hurricane. It's a, oh, shit. I know. It's Hurricane Jake. But what, so what's your life like? What's every day like? Like, what? It's like you would look at it and be like, aren't you so happy? You have an incredible life. You have incredible friends. And I find problems in everything. I can find a problem in this side of the chair.

Like anything. Am I wrong? Scorpio is like dark sided. Yeah. So you have like a kind of macabre mind. Well, not your mind because it's not your moon, but your nature is a little. You can go to the dark side. But because of that Gemini moon, you have a thirst for knowledge. You know what I mean? Yeah. You're like a sponge. You'll absorb a lot of shit. That makes sense. I'm that way with like.

female musicians. I have like a whole like thing on it, but like that, like I'm in pop culture. Okay. Like I know everything and there is to know about pop culture and female musicians from the nineties and the two thousands, the eighties, the everything like, are you kind of like a genius when it comes to pop culture? No, I just like, sure. I,

I'm like very, very, very, very, very into it. I grew up on it. Like I wasn't like into knowledge in school, like in math or whatever. But like I was, I'm very into like pop culture. Like that's the knowledge I absorb. Or I love like throwing myself into a television show. Oh. And like, and specifically ones that fuck with your head. Like what? There's this show. Well, have you ever seen The Leftovers? No. Okay, so right now I'm watching The Leftovers. It sounds delicious. I love Leftovers. Same about Time for Dinner. I'm so hungry.

What type of show do you like? My mind. I don't, I have a crazy imagination. Oh, right, because you were saying as a kid you didn't watch TV really. When I do, when I do watch TV, I can only watch one show at a time. It's normally reality TV or like a really good show. So I can watch RuPaul's Drag Race. I'll watch like

Real housewives type shit. I love housewives. But right now, because I am watching one television show, I can't watch the other ones. I'm watching Severance. Oh, I just finished. I just finished. Are you caught up? I'm all the way caught the fuck up. And I'm angry. I'm angry too. I was like, what the hell are you saying? I remember watching that in my room and I was like...

That was a hard ending. That was a hard one. It was. Mostly because like, where the fuck y'all running? Yeah, that's what I was thinking too. Why are you running? Where the fuck are you going? What is that from? It's a Bollywood movie. Yes, what is that? She's like, why are you running? Why are you running? Where are you going?

Like, what the fuck? Where y'all going? Gorgeous gowns. Beautiful shots. I knew it was filmed because the way that the lighting was kind of like smattering on the walls. I was like, wow, they shot this in film. Good for them. But where the fuck y'all going? And why the fuck?

milkshake. First of all, not get out the door. Let's start there. Right. Because all of a sudden he joined the Marvel Universe. Right. And has super fucking powers. Right. He could fly in the air and like fucking chungly kick the goddamn thing in the door. Whatever it was. So why the fuck you couldn't get it open? Right. How you couldn't get it open milkshake? I

I was mad. It was just, that was a tough, tough, tough ending. You know who I fucking love in that show that some people are like, how do you love her? But Patricia Arquette's character, what's her name? Cobell. You don't? I love her. I think she's such a bad bitch. Yeah, I think she's such a bad bitch. I'm obsessed with her. Here's the thing about Cobell. Here's my problem with Cobell.

Here's what I love about Patricia Arquette. Great at playing a villain. Because when I say I don't like Cobail and we're not supposed to like Cobail, great job, sweetie. Give her her fucking flowers. Because it's hard to play a villain and then also have a divisive villain. Now people have sympathy for her. Great job, honey. Back to the character. So we take the personal all out of it. Right.

Her inventing severance did nothing for the plot. You think? It did nothing for the plot this season. Maybe, maybe it's teed up for next season. Uh-huh. But it did nothing for me. Okay. I see what you mean. For me, the way I took it was like, that's,

It was... It explained why she was the way she was and why she had that crash out in season one and why she is so angry and so filled with passion is because she was such a loyal follower of Kier and to... And it made that line when Helena looked at her and was like, I think you've underestimated your contributions. It's like, no, she was the contribution. Right. So I think to me, when I saw that, I was like, ugh. But I...

it wasn't as big of like a as I thought yeah I wasn't truly gagged yeah or did I

I thought she just had a crush on Marcus. Yeah. It really gave like, I'm obsessed with him. I think so too. And I love her being obsessed with him because, you know, make that something. Right. We still don't know why the fuck Marcus is important. I don't know why he's important. I don't get it. I don't get it. Nobody knows. What is, what is, what's cold harbor for? I don't understand. Like what, what were they, what were they gaining from that? You have plenty.

fodder for season three to bait us with. Cobell inventing it, I don't actually think I needed to know who invented Severance. Okay. I don't think I needed to know that. It's weird, it's mysterious and important. And I'm cool with that. But now it's like, Cobell made it up and I don't even really fuck with her like that. I don't even fuck with Shani like that.

But shout out to Patricia Arquette for playing a great character. Milkshake is one of my favorite. I know it's Milkshake. Milkshake is one of my favorite characters written on TV in the last decade. I'd love more depth to him. I'd love more depth to him next season. He got deep on this season, but he got deep on the other end of the spectrum where it's like, actually, I'm not rooting for you anymore. I want his personal life. I want to see what it's like when he goes home. Why the fuck you got a motorcycle? Right.

How do you dress? Well, he doesn't have an innie, so technically he's always his outie. But it's like, well, what do you do? Like, what do you dress like when you're not at work? They don't force you to wear those stupid shirts. Right. Because, like, he's got a sense of style, and when he has control, he be stepping on necks. Like, if I were in the, like, woods,

Yes. I was like, bitch, you better. You better. So I think they are going to expand on that. We've been seeing him like crack a little bit and I love it. Me too. I love when he cracks. Devour feculence. I was like, oh. I know. So you're in the market for a new show though. I am in the market. My mom is trying to pitch me, boy. What is she pitching you? There's a show on Netflix. It's called. Oh God. Adolescence. It's got, um.

Crazy Eyes from Orange is the New Black. Miss Uzo. Yeah, I love her. No, that show was insane. Oh, that show was the first show I ever saw on Netflix. Wow. Yeah. Oh, wait, was it mine too? And I love, oh my God, there is this fucking song that they used in the trailer by, I'm telling you, I love. The animals. No, no, no, no, no, no. It's, um.

Oh, my God. Louise, will you do me a big favor and look up Orange is New Black season one trailer song? This song changed my life. Oh, songs that changed your life for 500, Alex, because that's a big one. It is. I want to hear the song. So this song changed your life, but is there another definitive song that just like I've never been the same since hearing it? I have a few, and I'd like to hear yours after as well. Okay, okay. So mine is The Archer by Taylor Swift. Wow.

Because hearing such a superstar, I had never heard her. You know, I heard her talk about relationships and, you know, herself and stuff. But I could never relate to the relationship stuff. But the Archer felt very, she had come off of that very tumultuous time in her life. And it was very self-reflective in the sense that, like, sometimes I don't know if I'm the villain. Sometimes I have been the villain. Yeah. And sometimes I've been the victim. I feel like she plays with that.

Theme really well. Really well. And it's like, oh my God, hearing one of the biggest superstars in the entire world sit there and say like, sometimes I rock and sometimes I suck. And sometimes I don't know who's going to stay because I don't know who can deal with the in-between. Wow. And I remember exactly where I was when I heard it too. I remember exactly where I was and- Where were you? I was-

I was waiting for the B or the C train on 110th Street. Big New York. Yeah. And I was like, oh my God, Taylor Swift has a new song? And it's changed my life ever since. And then I think another song was...

Changed my life. I think that's it. I think that's the real, real one. You know, I have a playlist. Will you grab my phone? It's called Songs That Changed My Life. It's called I Love. So every time I say a song comes on the radio and I'm like, I love that song. I'll be like, I'll add it. It's because I got the idea because my friend was like, it was a gratitude practice. And she's like, whenever I say I love something, I just write it down. So it's like you can look back on it. But I do it with music. There's a song from The Strokes called Someday. Oh, my.

Oh my God. I love that song. That, I can't relate to the lyrics. The Strokes actually inspired Love and Real Life. Really? That ding, ding,

Yes. At D major court. Yes. Yes. The Strokes, baby. Oh, my God. I love the Strokes. Yeah. No. I love the Strokes. Man, nobody like them. That's like dance on the couch music. Someday is. I remember because similar to how I found you when you were on the lineup for Coachella, I was going to Governor's Ball and I was trying to listen to the whole lineup. I was 2016, literally. I was 2016. It was Gov Ball. And the Strokes were headlining and I was like, I've never heard the Strokes.

And I played Someday and I was like, and it changed my life. It changed my life. Now we have to go to concerts that changed our lives. I'll say a song that changed my life, Crazy in Love. Really? By Beyonce, obviously. Like, my heart's... I'm such a psycho. No, you're not. We stay in the same decade in glam. So every day in glam, we just stay between like 2000 and... We stay between like 98 and 2000 and like...

or whatever. Anyway, when that plays, my heart still races. And I have to go, yes, so crazy right now. So I know it changed my brain chemistry. Now concerts. I have a concert. What concert changed your life? Damn it. It's Destiny's Child. You saw Destiny's Child? I saw Destiny's Child. Oh.

I went through a huge phase with them when I was in like sixth grade. Wow. And I was like, let me cater to you. I was in fifth grade. Yeah. And I saw them and, but I will say that wasn't a concert. They, it was like a promotional show outside of a Walmart on Dunville in Houston, Texas. So it wasn't like, I gotta,

Let me come up with a better concert. You first, though. I have a few. I have moments in concerts that changed my life because I have really hard time, like, picking one. Jamie XX, Gov Ball, same year, 2016, and he did a remix of Don't You Want Me, Baby? And I just remember being like, um. Then I saw The Weeknd, and he did, um.

God, what was it? I think it was Scared to Live. No, no, no, no, no. It was After Hours. What's the one song? Yeah, it was After Hours. He has a song called After Hours, right? Yeah, it was After Hours. Sounds like a weekend title, yeah. And that at the time was me and my best friend Alice's song. And I even recorded it and we were just screaming it. And it was like the best, best moment ever. Also, when I saw Taylor Swift, she played Dress as the surprise song.

And Dress wasn't even one of my favorite songs. And, like, not even close. And she said, say my name and everything just stops. And the entire stadium, dead silent. Wow. And I remember being like, oh, that's what this is about. Yeah. I love live music. Oh. Yeah. Okay, I have my concert that was, like, soul-shattering, life-changing, brain-opening. I saw, so mind you, D'Angelo is, like, D'Angelo, he was just, like,

massive R&B star then he disappeared for like years and years and years and years he came back with a resurgence album like I'm telling you like 20 years later type shit

And before that album, though, he did a show at First Avenue in Minneapolis, which is like where Purple Rain was filmed, where like Prince played all the time. He did a show there and it was just him and Questlove on the drums. Oh, wow. And they just like freestyled a whole concert. Uh-huh. And I lost my shit. I was like, what is happening?

happening. Right. You can literally just it just made you love like being a musician. Yeah. And being an instrumentalist and just like being in the free flow of things. I was like, this is sick. Watching two like masters just play. Right. Was fire. I also seen that with Erykah Badu. She like hosted an award show in Dallas that I went to once on a whim with my friend. And she just was like, hey, like I'm hosting. But then at the end, she was like, man, fuck this shit. Let's do a concert. And she did a whole just off the dome. Oh, I love that.

That might be my favorite moments, like off the cuff, unplanned, just like freedom of expression moments. Right. I don't think I've ever, I don't think I've ever gotten to see someone do that. I really, I really do want to. We can do it right now. Pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft.

You first. Lizzo is on therapist. We are going off the dome. She is in light blue. And she's here. Your turn. Okay. Jake, I'm here on therapist. Because in you I do trust. Oh, shit. I got. Wait a minute.

Best bars. And then once I hopped in off beat from the job. I'm like huffing and puffing. I was fucked from the job. It's like double dutch when you're like, oh shit, I got the rhythm. And then when you, you got to get the rhythm or you're fucked. That was fun. That was fun. Do you want to get into the tell me what's wrongs? Wait. Do I not? Can I not speak today? Do you want to get into the tell me what's wrongs?

I love this. Yes. Oh, my God. Before we get into this, you said you were in the market for a new show. I know your mom was trying to put you on something. If you want to start a show that I'm currently just starting, it's called The Leftovers. Oh, that's right. It is fucking phenomenal. What's it about? Okay, so it's about as if the rapture happened. Shut the fuck up. And 170 million people from Earth disappear.

And it's about three years later and it's about a small town in New York and like how they're dealing with it. Like, and it's about grief and like religion and like faith and like,

It is so well done. It is incredible. You had me at Rapture. Yes. No, no, no. I'm telling you it is. Because I loved The Good Place. Oh, I've never seen The Good Place. It's very that. Okay. I need to see it. The camp. Yeah. It's funny, right? It's camp. Yeah. I know the whole, it's the, oh, we're in the bad place. Then don't watch it. I know. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. No point. God, you had to be there. Wow. When that first came out, I was like, no fucking way. My brain was all over the fucking walls.

Like they don't do it like that no more. Do you know what I mean? So for them to be able to pull that off in a social media era was insane. You know the time I really, really felt that way. Have you ever seen The Jinx on HBO? No. Okay. So I don't – I really – you know what? I don't want to spoil it. Just watch The Jinx. Okay. But I – keep in mind if you do watch it, I watched this in real time. You know The Jinx. Oh my god. Okay. So I watched this in real time. The final like 30 seconds of the finale of season one, I was like –

How am I... Like, how is the world going to go on tomorrow? Yeah. Like, that's how that felt. You know, it's given... She's alive! Yes! I was just thinking that. That was crazy. That was the best season finale of any show I've seen... Ever. Ever, I think. No, they win. Yeah, they won. It was the best season of television ever. Oh, it was so good. Honestly, ever. It was so good. And I also watched that in real time and I remember being like...

My best friend, Brett, was also watching. I was like, you have to watch the finale right fucking now. Yeah, no, I had a whole season two. I, you know, I have to be late. Severance train late. Yeah. It's all good. Do you watch Yellow Jackets? I don't watch TV. Okay, right, right, right. Remember, I watch one show every year. Try The Leftovers. Leftovers sounds really good. Try The Leftovers. And I personally love it. And like, I just think it's fascinating. Okay. Went on a date with this guy that my friend set me up with. It's all, it

It all seemed normal until he started asking weird questions like, what's your blood type? What's your escape plan if you're in danger? I thought they were just quirky, but things got weirder when he handed me a note at the end that said, the mission is complete. Destroy all evidence and never speak again. Then he just left. Funny, but rude. How do I get my friends back for this? All right. That was a lot to unpack because I honestly don't get it.

Mission Complete Destroy. Did they set him up with, oh, it was a joke? I don't understand. I would kill, if my friends set me up on a joke date. On a joke date? They're not your friends. They're not your friends. They're actively not your friends. And it also depends like where you're at in your life. Like, are you like going through it right now? Are you like, oh, it's so hard to find love? Like, and then they, then it's like, oh, finally, my friends hooked me up with this nice guy. And I haven't been,

months and I've had this horrible heartbreak and then he asks you your fucking blood type and you find out it was all a joke and they're laughing at you behind your fucking back. That's not friends. Not friends. I just feel like romance is so, um, God, it's so, like, sensitive. Yeah. And, like, to have someone fuck with that is, like, not a friend. Yeah, because it fucks with your feelings, but it also fucks with your self-esteem, like, if somebody don't text me back, even somebody I've been in love with for five years and I've been with them for five years, if he doesn't text me back, I'm like,

me right it's like and i know he loves me so it's like no i how do you get them back never speak to them again yeah follow them block block block right that ain't your friend it's not they're not your friends no i hate to say that to this person because they're real and they're watching this and that's a bummer but well it's true three thirds somebody got bum bum be dumb okay

I'm having anxiety because I threw my drink at a guy in front of all of our mutual friends. When I was on spring break last week, my ex-boyfriend and I hung out and he told me I was perfect and the only girl he wanted to be with. We hooked up. The next day at the pool, I saw him making out with another girl, so I confronted him. Later, as they are making out at the pool, I threw my drink on them. Am I overreacting?

This is tough because violence is never the answer. I know, but I... The girl didn't deserve... The girl didn't deserve it. And I feel bad for the girl. The guy, like, I love a good drink throw. I grew up watching reality television, so I, like, love a good drink throw. Yeah. I've experienced someone I knew throw a drink on someone I knew. Me too. And I felt so bad for him. Oh, I didn't. It wasn't like... But he didn't... He was just there. Okay. Yeah.

Well, I didn't know the person that the drink was thrown on. The guy was being an asshole. Oh. Yeah. You're being an asshole. Get your drink thrown on you. Right. Okay. So, but you knew both parties. Were they together? Well, he did tell her she was the only girl he would want. Oh, then yeah. And it's like, and then he's making out with someone the next day. Toss. Oh, I would say it was, I, ooh. What is it? The anxiety? I would have anxiety for like a year. Yeah. The girl didn't deserve it, but the.

Don't fucking lie. This is what happens when you lie. Agreed. I hate people who fucking lie. Me too. I actually, I can't lie. I have so much anxiety. I think it's because I have really bad OCD that I over explain myself and over tell the truth. I get so anxious about lying. Yes, same, same. Because I'm like, oh my God, I feel guilty. Yes. I don't even do it because I feel so bad. Yeah.

You know, at a certain point, it's like, oh, I don't want to drink gin anymore because I get so badly hungover. So you just stop drinking gin. I don't even lie anymore because the lie over, whatever a hangover for lying is, is shit. It's hell. It's...

so bad. So now it's just like how does she recover from like the anxiety and the shame that she probably like because she'll probably just be having like a good day like well I'm gonna go get like one of them new matchas. I'm gonna go get a lavender matcha and she out getting a lavender matcha and then she gets like a

by the memory. Like I'll be having a great day and I get attacked by memories out of like randomly. So like what does she do? How does she get through that part? Because I think that's going to be the hardest part. It's mind over matter. Okay, because I think it's 50-50 for her.

Right? So 50% was good. Like you threw the drink on the guy. 50% was bad. You threw the drink on the girl. So bask in the negative first and be like, oh, I did that. Yeah. When the memory hits you. And then be like, but I also did that. Right. You know what I mean? And I did that. You know what I mean? She did her big one. Yeah, exactly. It's like you're young, you live, you learn, and then you move forward. What are you going to do? Live in the past forever? I'm a monk. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. I don't even like to raise my voice. Oh, I do. Really? Guilty as charged. Wow. Well, not like raise my voice, but like I get very, very passionate. Oh, I can see that. Talk about choosing battles. I can see that. I am like, okay, which battle today? Like I want this one, this one, this one, and this one. I think that people might hate me because I'm that person who gets calmer.

As things get more and more intense. You know that person who's calm? It's like, oh, you think you're better than me because you're not mad? Because you're calm? I'm that person who's just like, okay. I heard what you said. I'm going to internalize it. And let's just talk about this at another time. I'm that girl, which probably makes people more mad. Well, being calm when someone's not matching your passion and your anger. But it's so crazy because my boyfriend is really calm. Uh-huh. And...

you know, when you're in love, you get emotional. Like, and I will be like, and he's like really calm. And I'm like, that's a taste of my own medicine. Right. It is insane. I just don't like the feeling of being that hot. I feel like my head's going to pop. You ever feel a roller coaster and you're screaming? I feel like my head is going to pop. It's so terrifying. I always feel like my head is going to pop. Like, I always feel like. You give him so fucking funny. Oh, yeah. All right.

Okay, all right. Next thing. Before both of our heads pop. It's hot as fuck in here. Okay. Do you want the fan on? Okay. Are you sure? No, I'm committed to the bit. I want the good sound. Okay. I'm so sick of speed dating apps, but I don't know how else to find a boyfriend. Please help. Okay, first off, what the fuck is a speed dating app? That I don't know, but I assume she just means all dating apps. That's the only way I can find love. I.

I wholeheartedly disagree. I don't think you can find love on a dating app. Okay. You've heard it. Sorry, I just interrupted you. No, please interrupt me. No, no, no. Go. I have a theory. Actually, I don't have a theory. I have a philosophy, if you will. Dating apps are for hookup culture. It is, yeah. And hookup culture only. That's why men love it and women hate it.

Yes. No. I hate it. And that's why it's so toxic, especially in the gay community. Because it's like from both sides. And it's like you're literally like you're not even speaking to someone. Wow.

But for me, I have this, like, constant fear that, like, everyone's always making fun of me, which has gotten a lot worse since I've pursued a career, like, in, like, the public eye. Even though it's not, like, crazy, crazy anything. Like, I still feel anxious. Like, when I'm at a bar, like, I'm always scared that someone is going to, like, take a photo and be like, can you believe he's trying to flirt with me? Right, right, right, right. Like, can you believe, like, I'm, like, LOL. Like, you know what I mean? And so I'm, like, I can't meet anybody who's,

I feel like I only have dating apps. Wow. Which is hard. Crazy. I got kicked off a hinge for impersonating a celebrity. Are you serious? Wait, I have to say it with me.

Hey, baby, I had a time. But I was only on Hinge to prove a point. Like, I was like, listen, let me show you. And I got, like, so many guys. I got so many guys' numbers. It was, like, so quick and easy because I followed the hookup culture rules. Right. The I want to be in love with you and, like, have a real relationship rules do not work on dating apps. Right. I truly believe the best way to find love is when you are in a path of

of bettering yourself. And I know I sound so cliche. I used to fake it. I used to pretend like myself and hope that a man falls in my lap. No, you have to really be on that path and really be good. You have to be like, Oh my gosh, I actually don't mind being alone. I actually love the thought of just like, it's me for the rest of my life. And then boom, love like fucking comes out of nowhere, but it's always on your path of bettering yourself. Cause when you're

On the path of self-destruction and it's dark. Do you really want to meet somebody on that fucking road? I don't want to meet somebody on self-destruction Boulevard. Right. I want to meet somebody on this is my life path. I'm bettering myself Avenue. Right. You know what I mean? Yes, exactly. So that's the best place to find real love. If you want to hook up with somebody and also hook up with somebody where you have to realize that they're hooking up with a shit ton of other people, go to a dating app. Right.

If you want to get over somebody, get under somebody else. Use the dating app. But if you're looking for love, that's not the place. I do believe that love happens on dating apps. Don't blanket state.

The internet will blanket statement a fucking, they'll take a two second clip. I know, I know. You can find love, but I think that that is a exception to the rule. I think if you are going to use dating apps like I do, the key is take it offline. Like, are we going to meet for a date? Are we going to meet for a drink? Yes. Or not? But see, sorry, that's hookup culture rules for me. As a woman, we're like, we're always constantly having to protect ourselves and stay safe. Yeah, 100%. Because, oh God. Yeah.

And so a lot of times we'll stall in the app just to be like, I need to make sure this person is safe. A hundred percent. I'm not in danger. Then you're like, can I even give him my number? Cause stranger danger. Then you have to trust that. And then once you have their number and you're talking for a while in the text, then it's like, okay, do I feel safe enough to see this person in person? Right. But what I was doing,

Who was following hookup culture rules, which is very like, all right, fuck all this app shit. Where's your number? Right. Right. Get their number. All right. When we link it up, link up, go get lunch. You know what I mean? I was doing that and I found that I had results, but that's, it's insanity. Right. I think I really liked what you said about the self betterment because it's true. And I actually feel like I can absorb that information and really know that as not cliche and true. Like, like,

especially this year. Like if you told me that last year, I'd be like, okay, like, okay. Like, you know what I mean? But I really do believe it. And it's also, and that goes for like all aspects of life, right? Like when you're happy, like the things that you always want will find you. So like when you were truly happy, then your major big break came, right? And like, that's like how, cause you enter that brief period of like just attracting, people want to be around you and people want what you have. So I think that's great advice. Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, and it works. I think I can only give it like confidently, this confidently, because I'm like, I've seen the results. I've seen it work. And I'm also seeing it not work. I see what doesn't work. You know what I mean? I've dealt with the dating apps and I have friends who deal with dating apps and we get like stuck in a holding pattern being like,

well, he didn't text me back because I texted him. And then it's like, well, he didn't say let's link up and I'm not going to say let's link up. And so you kind of get stuck in this pattern and it gets redundant and you're just like, ah, it gets very stale. So I don't know. I do think that you can find...

a relationship on a dating app. Let me say that. And I think that sometimes it goes really well. Sometimes it's a here for a season, you know, gone for a reason. So I don't want to discourage you personally. I think that if you're on the apps also be pursuing the best version of yourself. And I think the app can be a tool to attract a good partner. Right. Who knows? I think we killed that advice. Period. Yeah, we did. Cheers. I said,

I'm so scared. No, I know. I have to do either. Those glass eyes. I know. I know. My guy friend will consistently flirt with me and lead me on to the point where multiple people have asked me what we are and I've started to question it myself and then proceed to introduce me to every girl he's talking to. He will also invite me to things and not leave my side when he's single, but as soon as he's with another girl, he'll invite me so I'm around but won't talk to me at all. I hate mixed signals and psychotic men. Help.

And he's a master manipulator. Get a boyfriend immediately. Yeah. Get a man or, or honestly, cause that's my petty advice is get a boyfriend and, and, and watch him act, act up. Cause he will, he's going to act the fuck up, but don't get a boyfriend just to piss him off. But you can get anybody you want. You can, you can get any man you want boo. Where are you? Where's my camera? Where's my camera? Camera two. You can get any man you want boo. Go out there, get you a man.

and pay him no fucking mind. It's going to drive him crazy, but you also need to, I always learned that you have to show people how to treat you. So if you want him to treat you with respect and stop manipulating you, then show him who the fuck you are. I'm your friend. We're nothing more than that. Unless you want to be more than that. You didn't add that to the statement. So I'm assuming you don't want to be more than that. No, I think she does. Oh, she questioned it. I think she does.

I would prescribe Tell Me Lies season two because, but as an example of what not to do once you get that new relationship. Okay. Have you seen? Ooh, I don't know. I would, oh, I would, I would get, I would get with someone else. Yeah. I would just get with someone else. It's your guy friend. He's like fucking up the sanctity of this, of the, of the trust, the bond. I hate that feeling.

i hate it too actually like wait are you flirting with me stop yeah but also keep going keep going oh no it's horrible and then because you're friends first you're like oh my god this is a fairy tale like this could like really he could be the one oh yeah it's like 13 going on 30. i had a friends to lovers trope really and i with your current boyfriend yeah and i love it wait tell me more oh my god we were um we both worked on this tv show for mtv

I was the music girl. He was the comedy guy. And like, we were just, I was like, he's my best friend. I don't, I didn't have any like guy friends like that. Well, I did because I'm in the music industry, but I was like, wow, I can really talk to him. And we had this like crazy bond for years. And then,

I do love that we were friends first. And like, so that means we can talk about anything. Right. You know what I mean? He's your best friend. Literally. Yeah. So I hate that he's doing this to her because like that is low key, like a fantasy. Right. It's like a book talk dream to be like, oh my God, like he was my best friend. And then one day he just looked at me differently. Right. Right. But I don't like that he's being manipulative about it now. Right.

he's from, from our perspective, he's being manipulative. Let me step into his shoes. Let me step into his Louboutins and see what the fuck he's going through. Cause maybe he's fighting his feelings for her. And maybe he's like,

if I show other girls, show her other girls, will she get jealous? Maybe I don't know how she feels about me. Yes. But I think it's still manipulative. Yes. But it might be kind of cute if that's why. I know. That's cute if that's the reason, if that's the why. I think the best way to solve it is to flirt with another guy, get with another guy and see how he reacts. And then y'all are going to have to have the talk.

I know. I'm so excited for her. Me too. Oh, I'm so excited for her. Good times. Good times. I'm pregnant and the baby's due in a month. Wow. I live with my dad, but haven't told him yet. Just wearing very baggy clothes all the time and hiding it. I'm sorry. Wait, rewind. The baby's coming in one month and her daddy don't know? Yeah. And she lives with him and she's just wearing very baggy clothes. How baggy are the clothes? We're talking. Okay. Bags. Bags.

She's like, yeah, we're talking like Balenciaga. Yes. Yes. It's complicated between me and my partner. My dad doesn't know that either. How do I break all of this to him? You know, this is how you do it. This is your grandbaby. That's crazy. That's a month out and he doesn't know. I mean, at this point, at this point, just baby, that's your friend, baby. Now it's like, oh yeah, this is my friend. My friend just had a baby.

Okay, it's like because why are you afraid to tell him? What kind of dad is he? Is he super strict? Right. Does he know that you are active sexually? Do you know what I mean? Like you can't hide a person. You can maybe hide a bump. But you can't hide a person. You can't hide a human. I don't know. Here's the thing. What's worse? Telling your dad whilst you're pregnant or telling your dad when the baby's here? What's going to hit worse?

To me, it's like, what's the safest route for you and the baby? The safest route is letting him know before so he knows if your water breaks and you have to give birth, he knows what to do. Because you know what I was going to say? It'd be a bummer for him to miss the birth. Birth.

That would be a bummer. And you would regret him not being there for the rest of your life and the baby's life. Right. So I would tell him now, and I guess part two of the question was, what's the best way? Yeah. You got to be sitting, you got to do it in a certain way. Maybe sing to him like they do on Glee.

I would be like, you know those videos of people surprising their family with, surprise, I'm pregnant, and then the dads are crying and shit? If you can find a really sentimental way to do it, I think it'll take the sting out of it. Right. Maybe get a cake.

And it's like a big cake and he cuts the cake in the middle and you spread it open. It's like a little candy baby inside. I have an idea. Have you seen the TikTok trend when the person's like breaking news to someone and it's like, okay, everybody say, I got the roll on three. One, two, three. I got the roll. Say, everybody say I'm pregnant and the baby's due in one month and I forgot to tell you on three. One, two, three. Actually, one of the worst ideas I've ever heard in my entire life. Of surprise and embarrassment. Yeah, I know. He's like, you're filming me, bitch. Yeah.

But if you're filming him, maybe he'll be like, oh, this is evidence. Let me not. I can't freak out. It's bad. Right, right. In a public place. Yeah. In a public place. Go to dinner. Talk about safety. Yeah. Take him out to dinner. Take him out to dinner. There's people around. He can't truly crash out as badly as he would if you were alone. And then be like, hey, something sweet's going down in here. A human being formed. Life. Mitochondria. Proteins. Semen. Yeah.

Because that's the part he not fucking with. Uh-huh. Okay, I have two prescriptions. One, in But Daddy, I Love Him, when Taylor Swift's like, I'm having his baby. And then she says, no, I'm not, but just pause the song. Oh, wow. You are, like, full of, like, really bad ideas, but that's what makes you a genius. Thank you. Or recreate Beyonce's Love on Top VMA performance. Oh. And you remember when she takes off her thing and rubs her belly?

You know what? First, sit your dad down and be like, hey, have you ever thought about being like a grandfather? All I'm thinking about right now is how I'm going to doom scroll and like pick up my head up and I'm going to be elderly. Damn, we're being microwaved. We are. We're being air fried. We literally are. We were microwaved in like the early 2000s. This is air fried level. Oh, it is. It's delicious a little. One, two, three. Yeah. It's delicious, but definitely not great. Yeah.

Yeah, that's true. We're going to look up and it's going to literally be like 2035. Makes me sick. It's post-COVID, I'm telling you. It's TikTok. It's post-COVID. Do you think that if we lived like in the world with no phones, would time slow down? Absolutely. Every day would feel like a year ago.

You would, like, you would appreciate things more. You'd be more present. We'd touch grass. We would touch. We would live in the grass. Wow. We would be grass. Yeah. I've always, I mean, I'm definitely addicted to my phone. I think it is a real, real addiction. Yeah. Like, addiction. Yeah. Yes, same. And I think. I don't even enjoy it anymore. No. That's when you know it's an addiction where you're just like, oh.

Yeah. What the fuck am I doing? You know what else is a real addiction that TikTok introduced was that feeling of like virality and likes. And like, it's such a, it's like, it literally generates dopamine. Yeah, it's a lot of. Yeah. And like, it's crazy. There's going to be rehab. There's going to be phone rehabs. Whoa. I will be the first patient. Oh my God. No, literally. That's how, I mean, that's how you do it. You got to do it for yourself first. Let's go to phone rehab.

let's make phone rehabs all over America and in the world. Maybe I should get off my phone for a few days. I can't. I'm about to throw my phone away. Come on, Still Bad by Lizzo. Who said that? Who started promoting a single? Who was that? Is there some sort of single promotion spirit in here? We prescribe Still Bad by Lizzo to tell your dad that you're pregnant. Oh, no. Worst song ever. Yeah.

Love in real life. The baby is love. And then when you push the baby out, it'll be real life. That's fuck. God, I'm never going to listen to that song the same again now that you said it's inspired by the strokes and that little. I know. Okay, you ready for the final one? Yes. My mom will full blown dirty text my dad right next to me like all the time and I can't stand it anymore. Just because I'm an adult does not mean I want to see that shit. Please. I think that's so. You know what?

This is so dark. But it's going to be one of those things you miss when she's gone. It is true. So just fucking enjoy it. Just be like, I can't believe my mom does that. Yeah. And be like, make it funny for yourself. And wouldn't you rather your parents be in love? Hello. Ooh. Ooh. It's better than the fucking alternative. Right? Appreciation. Like, sit back, appreciate it. Right. And put yourself in someone else's shoes. Some people's parents...

don't even fucking talk to each other. Yeah. And yours are like fucking. Madly in love. And passionately enjoying each other's fucking words. Texting like teenagers. What are you, ungrateful? I'm just kidding. No, but seriously. Seriously. Yeah. And also, if you don't want to see it, don't look. There's things about my mom that I'm like, oh.

But I had to reframe that because now it's like, God, let me like cherish my mommy. Like I have my fucking mommy. Right. And she's silly. She's a silly Billy and she's quirky. And it's like these things that like you're, I think all kids were just like programmed to be like, oh, let me alone. You're so annoying to our parents. And like, it never goes away, but it's just like at a certain point, it's like, is this kind of cute? Right. Find the cuteness in it. Move forward. And also stop being so fucking nosy. What is she? She, she not texting.

On a big screen TV right in front of you. She's texting on her phone. Mind your business. Mind your grown business then. Mind you somebody that sext. And when your mama sext and your daddy sext, that person. That's what I would do every time. I'd be like, you know what? That reminds me. Eggplant, eggplant, eggplant. Okay, so...

First of all, I had the most incredible time with you today. Me too. Thank you so much for coming. Aw, I'm happy to be here. I'm so happy you're here. We could literally do this all day. If I weren't going to, like, sweat my life away, like, I literally have pits. Pits sweat. The same. I always do. I leave the studio drenched. Wow. Lizzo, what did we learn today? Oh, my God. We learned so much. You know what I fucking learned? Sorry, on my own. That...

I am still growing and I'm still learning. And like that part of me that I was like mourning in 2019, I finally fully mourned her. And that's so exciting. I feel like a new girl. I feel lighter. I feel fresh. Thank you for helping me. You were like a therapist. Wait, did you not? That felt amazing for me too. Yeah.

That was awesome. Wow. No, that was better than sex. Better than sex. Oh, it's good to know. I haven't had that in so long. Thank you for being here. I'm so happy to be here. Thank you for having me. This was so fun. Literally, this will go down in history, I think. You think so? Yes, this was awesome. Oh my God, historical. Historical. Historical.

How do we sign off? Okay, so you look in the camera and you say, bye, pussies. Oh, wait. Will this come out when the album is announced? I didn't actually really, like, personally announce it. It's just announced. But it is announced. I didn't do my big one. I have to do my big one. It was like a subliminal announce. I went around and was like, yes. Because when we were supposed to announce it, I didn't.

know that because it was coming out with the video you haven't announced it so that's what i didn't make it a big deal okay you should make it a big deal so i'm gonna make it a big deal make it a big deal right now guess what pussies breaking news my album love in real life is not out yet but but it will be out on what date oh no date has been announced it'll be out soon out soon kind of okay you want to give a little bye pussies

Bye, pussies. And bye, bitch.