77: God’s Brother: Santa Claus
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Learn more at apu.apus.edu/military. Direct from the Broski Nation headquarters in Los Angeles, California, this is the Broski Report with your host, Brittany Broski. So this is Christmas. And what have you wrought? Guys, I miss Timothée Chalamet. I miss Timothée Chalamet. He's my best fucking friend. He's my best friend.

No one understands me like Timothée Chalamet. That is my brother. Guys, what a year it has been. Seriously.

Guys, it's been a long one. It's been a long and arduous, but very fruitful bounty. Okay. I've gone to the source. I've gone down to the river, the Broski Nation river. It's dried up. Okay. I've gone down to the river looking around me. Wow. A beautiful Delta rich with life and fertility. And I look around, I bathe in the water. I'm doing baptisms in the Broski Nation river.

And suddenly, as I'm in the Broski Nation river, I look around and there's all of you. Wow! A bountiful harvest of so many of my dearest and closest friends and supporters.

How blessed we are, Broski Nation, to come together this holiday season, hug each other tight. Metaphorically speaking, we're all parasocial. I know you guys don't like to interact with each other. That's okay. I know you guys aren't really big on interactions. You guys aren't big on social interactions because it requires a sort of social charm. Okay, I know that it's tough. But stay with me. Metaphorically speaking, we all band together and we tackle 2025 with a renewed vengeance. Okay, how do you guys like that? I'm taking this off and I'm turning the lights on.

Welcome back, Brewski Nation! We've done about, god, it feels like 175 episodes this year. It's gonna be about 40-something. Okay, really not that many. Um, it's a very interesting and strange and silly thing, coming into this room every week and giving y'all an update on my life.

When exciting things happen, when devastating things happen, when global events happen, when things happen that we all just need to take pause and take a deep inhale, hold it for five, exhale for six. Okay, one more time. Every time I do a yoga class and they like make us do one of those breathing exercises, I'm like, this is just pissing me off. What is this helping? Okay, square breathing. I know that's like a calming technique.

Maybe my mind just bucks at the idea of yoga. I'm not meant to be serene. I would love to be serene one day. I'd love to try it out. Okay, here's the deal. What I have in mind for y'all today is

is a deep dive into Christmas, okay? Because why do we feed a big fat white man cookies? And why does he come into our house? And why has he enslaved a sort of native species to Canada or, you know, the Northern Isles, the reindeer? Why is this something that we embrace and sell and put on cookies? I would like to know. And it kind of creeps me out to be completely real with you guys.

So, and I'm a Santa believer. Okay, I love Santa. I do believe in him very deeply to my core. I do love him. I do think that he is God's brother. I do think that Santa Claus is the dying light among us, to be completely fair. He is the last shred, morsel of hope. And that's a beautiful thing. And if all you can do is believe Santa,

And this figure that will bring you what you want and what you need. Isn't that gorgeous and beautiful? But I did actually see mommy kissing Santa Claus. And I think that that is, you know, there is no other path but divorce, right? Because you're unfaithful. You don't love each other. I mean, it's like, just go with her. You know what I mean? Go with the new girl. Go with the new woman, Santa Claus. Because you seem to be unhappy. Because Mrs. Claus holds you down. She holds you down.

She cooks, cleans, counsels you, advises you for the other 364 days a year. You're a mean, fat old bastard, Santa. Okay. The origin of Christmas. Why does Santa have reindeer? It took a long while for Rudolph and the other reindeer to team up with Santa Claus. But once they did, there was no stopping them. I know that's right.

Saint Nick. Originally, Santa Claus had nothing to do with reindeer or with Christmas. His story begins with Saint Nicholas, a fourth century bishop of Myra, Myra, in modern Turkey. Although little is known about his life, the few hagiographical works which have come down to us all testify to his love of children and his generosity. Um, what?

According to Michael the Archimandrite, he was once told about a man who had lost all his money and was unable to provide dowries for his three daughters. Since this would have prevented them from getting married, they might have had to become prostitutes to support themselves. Santa took them out the trap? Santa Claus took the three hoes out the trap? Oh, it's a Christmas miracle! Also, this article is crazy. What do you mean they would have had to become prostitutes? Yeah.

Just kidding, it doesn't say that. I made that up.

Okay.

And then that's when he and Santa had started making out. Okay, so Santa was gay. Now, see, they don't say that in HistoryToday.com. They don't mention that in HistoryToday.com. Falling to his knees, he hailed the saint as his family's savior, only for St. Nicholas to raise him to his feet and beg him not to tell a soul about the blessings he had received. Because of such acts of generosity, St. Nicholas' feast day, December 6th,

was later celebrated with the exchange of presents. This is in Turkey. In 12th century France, nuns are said to have left fruit, nuts, and treats outside the houses of poor children. At around the same date, St. Nicholas was also transformed into a magical bringer of gifts. Particularly in Dutch-speaking regions, Sinterklaas would sneak into poor people's houses at night and leave a few coins or a little present in their shoes, like a turd.

Well, isn't that just super, super cute? You want to know something? I read this and I have to say it because it's a tangent and that's sort of what this podcast is all about. They said on the third night, he snuck in and did something else. Y'all, go see Nosferatu. This isn't even a paid ad. It comes out tomorrow, Christmas day. I saw Nosferatu into the premiere. Oh my God, what a movie. I mean, that's how you do it. That's called gothic horror and clock it and get into it.

Bill Skarsgård is unrecognizable as Nosferatu. I was absolutely blown away because it's based on, of course, the original Dracula by Bram Stoker. And it's amazing how close it stays to the plot. And I haven't read Dracula since college. And I literally was like, oh my God, this is exactly how I pictured it. Y'all remember when you watched Twilight for the first time and you were like, yeah, that's how I pictured it. It's exactly...

It's exactly how I picture it. Hunger Games, exactly how I pictured it. Harry Potter, exactly how I pictured it. I think that with Nosferatu, Lily-Rose Depp, stop putting Lily-Rose Depp in these cringy, overly sexualized roles. I need her in a Victorian period piece now. I need Lily-Rose Depp to be doing what Saoirse Ronan's doing, okay?

Somebody help her because that woman has so much talent. She is so versatile and I would love to see her explore that more. She played the like tormented, possessed, like tenderhearted wife so well. I believed every word that came out of her mouth. I think, oh, this is what I was going to say. There's a part in Nosferatu where, uh,

Oh, my beard hairs are all over the microphone. I'm so sorry, y'all. And I'm probably breathing in all this microplastic. And what's new? What's actually new there? Nothing. There is a part where...

Bill Skarsgård's character is like giving some instruction, right? And he has a crazy accent like this, except it's really dark and deep and he rolls his R's and he breathes really fucking heavy and it's terrifying. He's so scary. And you don't see his face in the movie posters. You don't see his face until a good decent chunk into the movie. Um,

And it's just chilling. He is just so scary. And instead of giving him, you know, I am Dracula. I will suck your blood. Like that sort of thing and a cape and like, I am the count. They gave him this dirty old jacket, like this dirty old coat that he has slumped over his shoulders. And the arms are just a little bit too long. And his fingers are just a little bit too long. And, you know, he's got those crazy nails. It was just so like, oh, I'm horrified. Anyway, there's a part where he goes,

On the fourth night. And if you've seen Nosferatu, you know that's a really good impression. Go watch Nosferatu and come back and watch this and be like, and please comment, hey, that was actually really good. And while we're at it, I'm going to do an Elvis impression. And if you guys could just comment, hey, that's really good, it would mean a lot to me. Because everyone in my life shits on me. Everyone in my life shits on me for my Elvis impression.

They don't like it. They don't want to see it. Because when true art is on display, some people get scared and they shy away, shy away from the light, right? They're scared. No, you can't be scared of true talent when you see it. Here's my Elvis impression. Hold on. I got nervous. I got nervous and there's hair in my mouth. Okay, ready?

I can do better than that, actually, guys. I'm so sorry I did that. I'm so sorry that I... That was a lackluster performance, and I'd like to do it again for you. Oh, I'll have a blues

Christmas without you, we'll be so blue. Without you, we'll be doomed.

Now, can I ask a question?

Can you really actually rate that one out of 10? Because I'm actually not joking. Like, I'm not being funny. I think that's really good. And I do it for Taylor all the time. And she is such a fucking hater. She hates when I do Elvis because I don't think she really understands Elvis. I don't think she understands the voice, the tenor, the tone.

Okay, I've captured it. And I have in a sort of Austin Butler-esque fashion, reimagined it and delivered it here for you today. And I think that she's a hater because that took a lot of study and it took a lot of courage. I feel like no one's telling me that I'm courageous. No one's looked at me today and said, hey, you're courageous for doing that. Hey, you're talented for doing that.

hey, you're really well-researched and well-cultured for knowing the nuance and the sort of vocal inflections that he does in Blue Christmas. No one has said that to me today. So I don't know, just like, if you want to tell me in the comments, I would like to read it. That my Elvis impression is good. But don't listen to the first one. Oh my God, I almost just vomited. Excuse me. Excuse me, guys. Thank you. Thank you, Lord.

Okay, let's get back to Saint Nick. For obvious reasons, okay, we're talking about Sinterklaas in Dutch-speaking regions. For obvious reasons, he was portrayed as a bishop with long, brightly colored vestments,

When you're part of a military family, you understand sacrifice and support. At American Public University, we honor your dedication by extending our military tuition savings to your extended family. Parents, spouses, legal partners, siblings, and dependents all qualify for APU's preferred military rate of just $250 per credit hour for undergraduate and master's level programs.

American Public University. Value for the whole family. Learn more at apu.apus.edu slash military. This holiday, wrap affection with a gift that everyone loves. Gift cards. Giftcards.com makes it easy to make the thought and the gift count with over 350 brands to choose from. Gift from top brands like Sephora, Nordstrom, DoorDash, and more. New this year is the giftcards.com gift card.

which gives your giftee access to choose from almost anything at giftcards.com. With no purchase fees, no expiration, and instant delivery, it's the gift of so many possibilities. Visit giftcards.com today. See giftcards.com for terms and conditions. A meter and a beard. What is a meter? Oh, it's like a bishop hat. Interesting. Like a pope hat. Santa was the pope? Santa's in the pope mobile, and it's being pulled by a reindeer, but it's also bulletproof.

and the reindeer have bulletproof vests on, and all the reindeer have Secret Service things in their ear. He was also said to travel through the sky and to have an uncanny knack for remaining unseen. At times, St. Nicholas was even associated with certain animals.

In the Netherlands, in the Niederlands, there was a tradition of leaving hay for his horses. In some parts of Germany, he still rides a horse. In Eastern France, he keeps his presents in baskets carried by a donkey. And in Italy, he is often accompanied by a jovial ass. I'll show you a jovial ass. Okay? How about... All right.

I'm going to self-censor. No, actually, I'm going to let it rip. I'll show you a jovial ass after I just had diarrhea. You know that feeling of after you had diarrhea and your stomach doesn't hurt anymore and you feel empty? That's a jovial ass. And if you don't like what I have to say on here, because sometimes I don't want to talk. A day wants to talk. I don't want to talk about my life. I don't want to talk about my problems. If I'm going through something, I find it very difficult to come on here and be like, here's what my poop looked like this week. Here's what my poop looked like.

Poop dissection challenge I just don't feel like it Because sometimes life can get heavy You know what I mean So go ahead and re-watch this one Re-watch the other ones Re-watch whatever you need to re-watch Go re-watch Royal Court Okay, go re-watch, I don't know, Pedro Pascal Hot Ones I've got a whole laundry list of stuff you guys can be tapped into Anyway, in France he's got a jovial ass So just remember that

But of reindeer, there was no sign, and with good cause. Although they were once common throughout Europe, their habitat receded at the end of the last ice age, to the point that they were mostly confined to northern Scandinavia and the Ural Mountains. Where the fuck are the Ural Mountains? The UTI Mountains? Hey, I've been there. They're in Russia. On before the night!

The Ural Mountains, or simply the Urals, are mountains. Oh, these are stunning. Oh, wow. I don't know why I never thought about Russia having mountains. I guess y'all got all kinds of topography out there, huh? Y'all are rocking with a lot out there. Some of these forests are beautiful. They run mostly through the Russian Federation from the coast of the Arctic Ocean to the river Ural and northwestern Kazakhstan. Wow, the more you know. Go back. Oh, the reindeer run the Ural Mountains.

Other than a few brief references in Aristotle, Theophrastus, Julius Caesar, and Pliny, there is little written testimony before 1533 when Gustav I of Sweden sent a gift of 10 reindeer to Albert I of Prussia and absolutely nothing to connect them with a 4th century bishop from Asia Minor.

The Reformation changed everything because of Martin Luther's insistence that Jesus Christ is the only mediator between God and man and not Santa, as some would have you believe.

Most early Protestants rejected the Catholic cult of saints out of hand. Although they were happy to recognize that those who had led uncommonly holy lives should be held up as examples of Christian virtue, they refused to believe that anyone could intercede with God on another's behalf and regarded the veneration of saints as a form of idolatry. Any form of worship or celebration that seemed to point towards the human instead of the divine was hence discouraged, if not actively forbidden.

While he was seen as sufficiently virtuous to be included in the Lutheran liturgical calendar, whoever wrote this did a beautiful job. Can I just say really quick, I'm like blown away by that sentence.

This spelled trouble for St. Nicholas. While he was seen as sufficiently virtuous to be included in the Lutheran liturgical calendar, the revelry with which his feast was traditionally celebrated was definitely suspect. No doubt it would have been easiest just to ban it, but Luther was shrewd enough to realize that gift-giving had become so central to the festive season that it would be difficult, if not impossible, to stamp it out.

To overcome this problem, Luther simply transferred the practice to Christmas Day itself. It's always the mother-tucking Christians, dude. It is the mother-tucking Christians that are like, I think I'm feeling like rewriting history. I feel like this should be about us right now. Okay, guys. POV, I have a meeting with all my other personalities to discuss our rebrand. Literally the Catholic Church doing a reformation. Ridiculous. I think that should be on Christmas Day.

To overcome this problem, Luther simply transferred the practice to Christmas Day itself and focused attention on Christ, God's original gift to mankind. BORING! I want Hot Wheels! Is it? It's? IT'S? Christ on the Cross? I wanted a Webkinz. Thank you. Thanks, Mom and Dad. Christ on the Cross for Christmas again this year?

I wanted a little pet shop. I wanted a littlest pet shop. I wanted an Apple Watch. I wanted an Apple Watch. I don't want Christ. Luther never would have understood Amazon Prime. Luther never would have gotten one day shipping Amazon Prime. Okay? The joy you feel from placing an Amazon order and seeing that little blue check with the yellow that says Prime. Yeah. Yeah. That's actually going to be pure bliss. He'll never experience that and he never did.

Although this did not necessarily stop people from celebrating the day in style, it did mean that from then on, presents would be brought not by St. Nicholas, but by the Christkind, or Christkindl, Christ child, who was usually portrayed as a brightly arrayed infant with wings and a halo. Girl, they had taken Santa to court! What is...

The examination and trial of Old Father Christmas, together with his clearing by the jury at the Ephesus held at the town of Difference in the county of Diffcontent. What the hell is this? Okay.

Even in some Protestant areas, however, the legacy of St. Nicholas lived on, albeit in a modified form. In England, a Father Christmas figure was already well established by the reign of Elizabeth I. Clearly modeled after St. Nicholas, he was held to embody the spirit of Christmas and, as an engraving from Josiah King's The Examination and Trial of Old Father Christmas, 1686,

suggests, was generally pictured as a burly man with a heavy fur-lined coat, a pointed meter-like hat, and a beard. In some areas of Belgium and France, Descirstman, or Pierre Norel, Pierre Norel, came to play a similar role, but he still didn't have any reindeer. Okay, we're getting there, we're getting there.

He seems to have made his debut in Knickerbocker's History of New York in 1809 by Washington Irving. A collection of satirical sketches, this portrayed him as a fat Dutchman, sporting a low, broad-brimmed hat, a huge pair of Flemish trunk hose, and a long pipe, and riding across the sky in a wagon full of presents. But not until the publication of The Children's Friend, a New Year's present to the little ones, did a reindeer come into play.

One of the poems in this curious little book, 1821, began with the following fateful verse. Old Santy Claus with much delight, his reindeer drives this frosty night. Or chimney tops and tracks of snow to bring his yearly gifts to you. What prompted the anonymous author to introduce a reindeer is a puzzle. An unsolved mystery. Sounds like a case for me.

One possibility is that it was simply down to the weather. Although there was always a chance of snow at Christmas, the previous decade had seen some of the coldest weather on record. On December 24th, 1811, today, 213 years ago, 213 years ago, today,

wherever you're sitting. Noah Webster reported that more than a foot of snow had fallen in New Haven, and in 1816, snow had even fallen in June. That winter was especially harsh. Okay, don't care. What is happening? Okay, they were slaying. While there is no record of reindeer being used to pull any sleighs in New York, anyone interested in Santa could have been forgiven for thinking of the animals that were used to pull them in stereotypically snowy regions.

Alaska would have been an obvious point of reference. Although it was not yet an American tradition, the use of reindeer by indigenous peoples was already well known, and it would have been a small step to hitch them to Santa's ride. Enter Rudolph. The number of reindeer soon grew. On December 23rd, 1823, the poem A Visit from St. Nicholas, also known as The Night Before Christmas, 1823, appeared in the New York Sentinel, Sentinel, Sentinel,

Later attributed to Clement Charles Moore, this described a chubby, if diminutive, diminutive, diminutive, diminutive. This described a chubby, if diminutive, St. Nicholas riding across the sky on a sleigh pulled by eight tiny reindeer called Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Dunder, and Blixom.

Later, two more were added. In L. Frank Baum's story, The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus, 1902, Santa's companions were arranged into five pairs. Racer and Pacer, Fearless and Peerless, Flossy and Gossy, Ready and Steady, and Feckless and Speckless. I like Ready and Steady, that's cute. At about this time, Santa Claus was re-exported back to Europe. They extradited Santa back to fucking Sweden, no!

They're like, we got to get this big fat fuck out of here. Where do we send him? Sweden? France? Germany? Turkey? Russia? Italy? Where do we send the fat fuck? How about keep him in New Haven, Connecticut? How about that? Where he belongs. Because Santa Claus is an American and he has rights and he cannot be tried without a jury order.

Okay, I forgot the rights that he's afforded, but he is afforded rights. Okay, and I can look it up right now, and I know you're live on Facebook. I can record too. I can record too. That man is Santa Claus, and I know him. He brings gifts to my kids, and I look, okay, we may have been intimate.

I've been intimate with Santa Claus. And I'm telling you right now, he is not a criminal. Do not extradite him. Do not deport him back to a country that he doesn't know about. He's American. That was my impression of a Karen trying to convince you not to deport her, her situationship Santa Claus. A Republican Karen, by the way.

um let's talk about when he was extradited back to europe where he gradually merged into the figures whose attributes he had been given he also took his reindeer with him but not until much later did rudolph join his troop in 1939 montgomery ward department stores commissioned robert l may to write a storybook which could be given to children visiting their branches over the christmas period visiting their branches

In May's tale, Rudolph was shunned by the other reindeer because of his bright red nose. Freak! But one year, when fog threatens the delivery of Christmas presents, Santa spots it glowing in the gloom and asks him to light the way as the troop's ninth member.

Though initially intended as a local giveaway, May's story proved so popular that it later inspired a cartoon, a song, and no end of films and books. So this was in the 40s. This was post-war. 1948, 1949, that's when Rudolph came out. That's crazy. New Lord just dropped! New Lord just dropped to the 500-year-old Bishop St. Man!

Since then, Santa's reindeer have been reimagined countless times. They've been renamed, pared down, beefed up, and altered in almost every way. But it is now impossible to think of Santa without them. And if you listen carefully this Christmas Eve, you might just hear them on your roof too. I just got chills. I just got chills. I just got filled with childlike whimsy and wonder. Alexander Lee, he wrote this. And God bless you, my sir. Alexander Lee is a fellow in the Center for the Study of the Renaissance of Warwick University.

His latest book, Machiavelli, His Life and Times, is now available. Wow. Got to pick that up. Big fan of you, Alexander Lee. This was beautifully written. How do you even begin to research, like, the legend of Santa Claus? Like, how do you even...

I have no idea. Like, especially when a legend like that, which what else other than, I guess, Christ himself or any organized religion with a sort of prophet figure? Is there a documented history or a sort of global phenomenon of this figure, you know, visiting and bringing gifts and whatever? I think that's so, like, uniquely Christmas. So this is...

You know what my favorite Christmas song is actually? It's by Paul McCartney. That song is so good. You know what else I think should be a Christmas song but isn't?

Damage Gets Done by Hosier and Brandi Carlile. That song sounds like a Christmas song to me. It's like you can almost hear bells in the background. And at the end, they have this part that's like, and there's like bells in the background. Love. That's genuinely my favorite Christmas song. My favorite Christmas song? Black Dog by Led Zeppelin. How Father Christmas found his baby.

How touching, y'all. Seriously. And we learned some new words. Hagiography. Meter. That's a bishop hat. The Ural Mountains are in northern Kazakhstan and across Russia. Origin of gingerbread houses. Let's try to tap into that.

They originated in Germany, Germany, between the 16th and 18th centuries. The tradition became popular after the publication of the Brothers Grimm's Hansel and Gretel in 1812, which features a house made of gingerbread in the forest. Let me tell you something about gingerbread. Let me tell you something about ginger snap. Let me tell you something about any of that sort of spicy cookie.

I want to put it in my mouth. I am clinically addicted to a sort of ginger snap cookie. The spices, you know, they make that big bubble toil, bubble in trouble, big thing you can make around Christmas time on the stove where it's like oranges, cloves, cinnamon, garlic, garlic.

Not garlic, but all those where you and like apple cider whatever and you just boil it on the stove and it's like old Oranges, whatever you just throw it in there and it just you keep it on a simmer and it just makes the house smell Amazing. I forget what there's probably a word for that. It's like a form of um What's that word? Come on. Come on. Poopery popery. It's like a form of popery the inspiration for gingerbread houses

The tradition of decorating gingerbread with gold leaf and foil, the popularity of gingerbread at festivals and fairs in medieval Europe. Oh, I bet that was like a luxury in medieval Europe. The practice of shaping gingerbread cookies into seasonal shapes, like birds for fall and flowers for spring. The belief that certain gingerbread shapes were charmed or cursed. What? Let's click that link.

Sweet and sinister, the history of gingerbread houses. I love the internet. Like, why would you ever search this up? I did. Okay, here's what Google is saying. Gingerbread has a dark history that includes superstitions, folklore, and even witchcraft? What the hell have I tapped into? In the 17th century, some believed that witches would make gingerbread figures eat them and kill their enemies. That's why it's a gingerbread man!

Villagers believed that gingerbread shapes were either charmed or cursed. The gingerbread man story has a dark moral about trusting others. The gingerbread man was tempted by a fox and trusted him, which led to his downfall. Gingerbread was a favorite of Queen Elizabeth I, who had it made to resemble visiting dignitaries. Elizabeth I...

if I recall correctly, and correct me if I'm wrong, had such an insatiable sweet tooth that all of her teeth rotted out of her mouth. Like, had black teeth. Because she was so insistent upon getting, like, the sweets, and that was her only diet. Which, look, I get it, okay? If I was Queen Elizabeth I, and I was in control of the British Empire, I'd be like, yeah, I'm having macaroons for lunch and dinner and breakfast every day. And if you don't give it to me, I'm gonna kill you. And it's just as simple as that. I mean, I can't make the rules any clearer.

Oh my god. I literally am so smart. I didn't even read this. In Elizabethan times, only the wealthy could afford sugar. So their blackened teeth identified them as members of the elite. How crazy is that? Gingerbread was once a symbol of fertility. This is nuts. Gingerbread lore runs so deep and crazy. That is so beautiful though. I wonder what they used to use as icing.

I think this has been a wonderful and exciting holiday episode. To all of you out there in Broski Nation, I wish you a peaceful and relaxing holiday, shared amongst loved ones and friends. All right. Love you guys. I'll see you guys in the new year. We've got a lot of exciting shit coming. And I do miss Timothee Chalamet. I do miss him very deeply and intimately.

He was so, it was electric. He's an electric person. I have nothing but positive, beautiful, wonderful things to say about him. I am addicted to him. We were bantering off camera for a while. He's just, he, I want to hang out.

Timmy, if you want to come over to my house, I have got YouTube premium. I've got some Diet Cokes in the fridge. I've got a bunch of Premier Protein if you want to have some protein shakes with me. Yeah, we could go to like Disneyland. I don't know. Just let me know.

Okay, I love y'all to bits and pieces. Y'all take care of yourselves. Y'all be good. And I'm gonna go clean this micro plastic microfiber beard hair out of my throat because it's coating my throat. Okay, I love y'all. Bye.

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American Public University. Value for the whole family. Learn more at apu.apus.edu slash military. What makes a great pair of glasses? At Warby Parker, it's all the invisible extras without the extra cost. Their designer quality frames start at $95, including prescription lenses, plus scratch-resistant, smudge-resistant, and anti-reflective coatings, and UV protection, and free adjustments for life.

To find your next pair of glasses, sunglasses, or contact lenses, or to find the Warby Parker store nearest you, head over to warbyparker.com. That's warbyparker.com. Life is full of adventures. Do you take this man to be your husband? I do. Welcome home. We did it. He has your eyes. He's perfect.

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