81: I’d Rather Die Alone
57:10 Share

Direct from the Brozki Nation headquarters in Los Angeles, California, this is the Brozki Report with your host, Brittany Brozki. Physically fit, physically fit, physically, physically, physically fit. I said I'm physically fit. Right, fantastic, right, fantastic. We go to work for one half hour, two half hour, have cigarette for lunch.

have watermelon Red Bull for lunch, perhaps have Premier Protein Shake, cafe latte for lunch, for dinner, have cigarette and wine.

Hey guys, welcome back to the podcast. No other podcasts are allowed at Broski Nation, only this one. Welcome back, Broski Nation. For reference, before this episode even begins, I'm filming this before Trump's inauguration, so whatever the fuck bullshit went down, future me.

Probably will have some takes on it. Okay, but not me right now. This is me as a Sunday January 19th I'm sorry about that y'all kind of a way. I'm in Paris right now If you're if you're watching this right now, I'm in Paris right now Okay, Paris France that is to say not Paris, Texas, which is also a real place. I met you at the blood bank Right doesn't Bon Iver have a song called Paris, Texas or is that?

Well, I met you at the- God, I used to sob my fucking eyes out to Bon Iver. Are you serious? That Twilight soundtrack gave me a personality when I was like 13. Shit. Remember that scene in Twilight where he's at the lab table and the owl wings are behind him? And they were like, I remember my whole family, my whole family, it was like my aunt and then my cousins, we all were addicted to Edward Cullen.

We went to the theater and we saw it, whatever. It was fantastic, just like I imagined it while reading it. And then for the longest time, it was like lore and trivia in our little group of like, well, you know that they positioned him like that on purpose because it's representative of

Well, and it's an allusion to it's an angel wing. It's like an angel wing because he has no soul because he's a vampire. You understand that, right? It became this thing. And I don't even know if that's real. They did it on purpose. I mean, I'm sure they did it on purpose just to get a good shot.

But I don't know about all that. And let me tell you something else. In English class, when they used to make us annotate things and be like, why do you think the author did that? Like, what do you think the author's reasoning behind this was? What does this mean that the author included this in reference to that? It was so deeply analytical, which I'm so glad because it works that muscle of how to think critically and, you know, try to connect dots that maybe other people can't, that sort of thing.

I remember thinking, girl, the author never probably would have imagined that we'd be sitting in a classroom dissecting their work word by word, word for word, breaking down usage, sentence structure, grammar. Like, I think if I ever wrote a book

If someone studied it, it's not that deep. You know what I mean? I mean, it's deep. It's that deep. But as far as like why I place certain words in the sentence versus sometimes it just sounds better. Sometimes it just sounds better. And sometimes I, you know, I don't know. I always think about that. Like these insanely famous novelists. Was everything that intentional as like school teachers would make us believe? Yeah.

Me questioning the deep state of teachers. What are they trying to get through? What are their, what's their goal? Teachers. I don't trust them. What's their goal? They're a ragtag crew. Not to be trusted. They're like pirates. Teachers. Yeah.

Anyway, random word generator is what we're doing today. Because give me half a syllable of a word and I'll be like, it's funny you mentioned that because I was thinking about this the other day. I mean, genuinely, I watch these back sometimes and I'm like, how the ever living fuck did I connect point A to point Zed to point Zed? What's Zed's biggest song? That one with Ariana Grande? This is the pub.

Yeah, break free. I'm a freaking genius. I'm a freaking genius. What else do they have? If I love this, why are you my clarity? You're my identity. Damn, that was fucking good. Wait, that was good. Wait.

You're mad. You're mad that I just killed that. Zed, if you're... Is he the one that died? No, Zed didn't die. Zed, if you're looking for a live, if Bebe Rexha... Who sings this? Who sings Clarity? Who sings, if our love is Clarity, why are you my Clarity? Who sings, if our love's Clarity, why is your love Clarity? Who sings it?

Who says it's going down, I'm yelling timber. You better timber, you better timber. Who the fuck? Kesha was so important to me in 2009. Kesha was so... There wasn't a more famous person on the planet to me in 2009. Actually, I'm lying. Justin Bieber existed. It was Justin Bieber and Kesha. And let me tell you something about the song Maria by Justin Bieber. Oh!

Let me tell you something about Maria by Justin Bieber. That song, y'all sleep on that. I had to get up. Y'all sleep on that song in a way that pisses me off. Maria. Oh, that ain't my girl. Maria. Drooled.

That song is so good. The ad-libs that that motherfucker does at the end of that song chills down my spine every time I hear it. That song's about him not being a baby daddy. That is so, yeah, the intro of that song's like, Justin Bieber, Justin Bieber, like all these news headlines. God, that era was psycho. That's when he got his little earring done. Yeah, I love Justin Bieber.

God, the ad-libs at the end he does. I genuinely, I cannot tell you enough how good that song is. And then he did a song with Travis Scott called "Maria, I'm Drunk." It's called a self-reference. It's called a callback. Anyway, back to Zed. My Airbnb, my clarity, my clarity. A to Zed. I could connect anything to Zed. Let's do some word generators.

Number of words, three. Word type. What? Word type, all. Oh, nouns, verbs, adjectives. Did you see that Drewski clip where he's doing could have been records and he asks one of the people who are auditioning what their adjectives are? He said, you don't want me asking, what are your adjectives? Drewski is so funny. It makes me sick. Okay. Word size by syllables, letters. No, that's not it. Okay. Generate random words. Put competence strap.

Okay, well, there's a lesbian joke in there somewhere and I'm not the one to make it. Okay, Pat, let me just do one word. Actually, I just got overstimulated real, real quick. Inspiration, stupid word. Thesis.

Thesis. Did you know, because yes, you should, I've talked about it before, El Malquerer by Rosalía, her sophomore album, is her collegiate thesis project. It was her final project in her degree, was the, I guess, storytelling narrative nature of the album.

How each song is a capitulo, which is a chapter, and it tells the story of an abusive relationship and how she got out. And it's based loosely on old folklore tales or like a fable that she sort of reimagined. So that is thesis to Rosalia.

if you will. And I do miss her. I miss Rosalia bad. Actually, she's on my mind today. I'm wearing my Motomami hoodie. Motomami, Motomami, Motomami, Motomami, Motomami, Motomami, Motomami. Con cada copia que ves, tú dale tu bendición. Y yo no quiero competir si no hay comparación con la cadena hasta el pie. El diablo al corazón. Y tú no crees que es sweet tu bombón lleno de licor.

Okay, I'm gonna do two words and I'm gonna connect them. Depend and speculate. These suck. This game sucks. Depend. That's stupid, I'm doing a different one. 'Cause guess what? I make the rules here. Artificial chest. Well, naturally, that's gonna be sort of like a breast augmentation.

artificial chest could also be, here's something that is true, is that if you get your boobs done, if you get your lips done, if you get your whatever, that is gender affirming care. So that's something to sit with and think about. Chase and surprise. Chase and surprise. Why do they call it a wild goose chase?

I guess that would be a surprise. Why is it called a wild goose chase? Aren't geese mean as fuck? The idiom wild goose chase comes from a 16th century horse race where riders followed a leader in a formation similar to wild geese flying. That felt like the sentence would never end. That felt like an impossible sentence to finish.

Did that not feel like six minutes of me saying that sentence? Am I fucking tweaking? That was the longest string of words I've ever put together. Holy shit. I mean, I've never been more focused in my goddamn life than reading that sentence. Shit. I saw a video of someone making a chicken salad wrap the other day and he put hot honey on it. And out loud in my bedroom, I said, shit.

Shit! Like it looks good! Damn! Damn! Hot honey on a chicken salad? I bet that is delicious. You know what I'm getting into recently? Dill pickle potato salad. Dill pickle potato salad. Dill pickle potato salad is... Dill pickle potato salad is... I think what they say, goaded with the riz?

dill pickle potato salad is all that I really need to eat. My diet, I don't know about you guys, my diet specifically is sort of the whole triangle pyramid is dill pickle potato salad. And have y'all ever had what's called a, oh, what the hell is that called? A bareback shot? A pickleback. What the fuck? What?

A bareback shot? Hey, Jesus Christ, I'm sorry about that. That's a pretty visceral thing I came up with there. Bareback shot? Trying to order an angel shot at the bar and ordering a bareback shot by accident? Yeah, do you guys do bareback shots? They're like, what the fuck? Sex freak?

Get out of here, sex freak! That's me to all the Call of Duty cosplayers still on my For You page. That era is long behind me. It's behind me. I don't look back. I look to the future. I do not look back. I do not answer for past versions of Britney. Especially horny, yearning Britney. Forgive her her trespasses, for she knows not that she has sinned. Would you not forgive the little lamb before Jesus?

Why is Jesus always talked about with a lamb? Did Jesus have a lamb? Did Jesus have a lamb? He's referred to as the lamb of God. What, like follower? The sacrifices of lambs in the Old Testament foreshadowed Jesus's sacrifice? Now see, again, back with my English class shit.

We as Christians, how are you going to interpret the Bible, annotate the Bible, write an essay on the Bible about something? You're just kind of guessing. Well, I guess not because the New Testament is kind of that's the whole thing. But foreshadowing, maybe they just used to be pagan and they would sacrifice animals. Maybe that's just it. It's foreshadowing so as to predict what the... I don't know, dude. The Bible is the craziest piece of media ever.

Like, it's the most sold book ever. Yeah, I get that. Like, because it's kind of tea. Like, the Bible is fucking tea. So much goes down. You need to catch up on, like, seasons one through ten before you can even enter into a conversation with someone who's, like, a real Bible girl. You know? Like, you'll be like, oh, yeah, here are my opinions on the Bible. And they're a Bible reader? Forget it. Forget it, dude. You talk to a Bible thumper about the Bible? Forget that.

I don't know. I did not... Can I admit something? This episode is sponsored by Hungry Root. When it comes to grocery shopping and meal planning, I'm not skilled or talented or even highly favored. I have some pretty strict dietary restrictions for my PCOS and it's hard to grocery shop like a normal person, but that all changed thanks to Hungry Root. It's the easiest way to eat healthy.

Hungry Root is like having your own personal shopper and nutritionist all wrapped into one. They take care of the weekly grocery shopping, recommending healthy groceries and meals tailored to your tastes, nutrition preferences, and health goals. They make it easy to eat high-quality, nutritious food and achieve any diet or health goals from anti-inflammatory to gut-friendly, gluten-free to dairy-free, high-protein, and more.

Shopping, planning, and cooking food really can be simple and stress-free. Just tell them your goals and preferences, and they fill your cart with personalized recommendations. All of Hungry Root's recipes can be made in just 15 minutes or less. With over 15,000 recipes shipped each week, there's something for every taste and nutrition preference. Hungry Root also has healthy groceries like smoothies, kids' snacks, sweets, ready-to-eat meals, salad kits, and even supplements.

There's no high fructose corn syrup, artificial sweeteners, or preservatives in any of Hungry Root's food. I'm gluten-free and dairy-free, and you'd be shocked how hard that is to shop for. That stress is gone thanks to Hungry Root. And cooking takes like no time, because I don't want to be in the kitchen that long. You're going to love Hungry Root as much as I do. Take advantage of this exclusive offer. For a limited time, get 40% off your first box, plus get a free item in every box first.

for life. Go to HungryRoot.com/Broski and use code "Broski". That's HungryRoot.com/Broski, code "Broski" to get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life. HungryRoot.com/Broski, code "Broski". This episode is sponsored by Stitch Fix. The new year is busy enough. Why add the stress of shopping?

Ease into New Year's styles with the help of a personal stylist.

Look, y'all, I don't always have time to pick things out or style new looks. I'm a woman on the go. That's why I love having a Stitch Fix stylist. She really gets me. She sends pieces that make me look and feel great and saves me time. No stores, no crowd, no stress, just time to focus on you. Stitch Fix understands your unique fit and style concerns, and free shipping and returns make the whole process so easy.

Your body changes, your style changes. Stitch Fix makes it simple to embrace your fit and style goals with confidence. My stylist sends pieces for my ever-evolving style preferences. Right now, it is a mixture of ballet core and Parisian chic. Thank you so much for asking. And my girl just gets me.

I give my stylist my size, style, and budget preferences, and she does the rest. I order boxes when I want, no subscription required. And she sends just-for-me pieces, plus outfit recommendations and styling tips. I keep what I love, and I send back the rest. It's that easy. Personal styling for everyone. Get started today at stitchfix.com slash broski. That's stitchfix.com slash broski. Can I admit something?

There are some books in the Bible that I actually really enjoyed, okay? The book of Job is motherfucking tea. It's like, it takes you on all the emotions. Genesis is an acid trip. Revelations is an acid trip gone bad. I mean, it's just psychotic. The imagination. We don't need phones to stimulate us. The Bible and the stories in the Bible are enough to be like, what the is going on in the human psyche, right?

You know what I mean? I guess they're supposed to be first-hand accounts, right? What if they, what if it's like Aesop's Fables? What if the Bible is a missing Aesop's Fables volume? You know how all the Goosebumps books used to be like in a series? What if that's just one? Like the Bible was just part of all of Aesop's Fables and someone was like running through the castle trying to loot it and they like stole only that portion and it's the Bible that we know today and they're like, oh shit, I left the others behind.

I think about it all the time. Christians were persecuted for a long time. Who's to say that some more important texts weren't burned or lost or destroyed on purpose?

You know, we talked about this the other- one of the other episodes where you guys called me a, and I quote, "fucking idiot" because I did not realize it didn't click for me that Jesus was alive during the Roman times. Okay? Which when you think about it makes total sense. I just didn't connect them because I've always thought of Jesus as a holy timeline that did not exist here on earth. Forgive me, pardon me, my Christian biases. Unlearning is a continuous process, okay?

So, when we were talking about that, you know, if you're living under the Roman Empire, who controls the flow of information and news and whatever, like everyone's essentially living under slavery, you submit or you die. Like, how would you, I don't know. How would you know the truth? That's always been my question since I was like young and in vacation Bible school. How do you know that's true? And that's the whole point is that you don't.

And I was too, I guess, literal to realize that is that that is what faith means. Because if something is real and tangible, you don't need to have faith in it. I mean, you can, but that's a different sense of the word. This is a meaning of the word. Like to have faith that this thing is there and it's omnipotent and it is looking out for you. You know, I remember even being that young thinking, why would God care about me?

You know, like I'm fine. Like there are so many other people who probably need help more than me. You know, why do you care? Like I, oh my God, the guilt goes so deep. Because I still think about this sometimes. Or I remember praying when we would be in church of like, you know, now bow your heads, we're all going to say our prayer. And like asking for something and feeling guilty for it. That's just crazy how deep it goes. Anyway, Lamb of God. Did Jesus have a lamb? John the Baptist called Jesus the Lamb of God.

Isaiah prophesied that Jesus would be brought as a lamb to the slaughter. Why do people say, why, what is the sacrificial significance? What is the significance? My fault. What is the significance of the sacrificial lamb? This is such a great painting. Who did this? Francisco de Surparan. He was Spanish Baroque.

It's housed in the Prado Museum in Madrid. Oh, I might have seen this before in person. 1635. Look at that detail for 1635. That is psychotic. Amazing.

I mean, really take a second to look at that. Audio listeners, this is a painting of a lamb that's had all of its limbs tied together around the ankle, and he's like slumped on the ground. And it's a very dynamic image. Like it's visceral. And you also know like what this means and what's about to happen, you know? The texture of the wool...

It's crazy. 1635. Think about how long ago that was. No even semblance of a photograph or technology, not for another 200 and some odd years. And they're painting with this level of accuracy and detail. If I could go back in time to any period, I think I would want to be in like

Either 18. No, I take that back. Actually, why would I bring this up if I didn't have an answer? You know what I mean? Why would I suggest it if I didn't have an answer? I'm sorry to you guys for that. I'll apologize to you guys for that. I feel god awful.

If I could go back in time, because I'll say a few different options, but just know that I'm lying. I don't mean any of these. Pirates of the Caribbean times, okay? Like 1760s. I would go back to there, like in some little seafaring town in the Iberian Peninsula, okay? And here goes, but then again, I take that back because I would have been terrified and I probably would have been killed. And it probably would have smelled like shit. Another one I was about to say is 1890s London.

Okay, I don't mean this one either because the 1890s in London was like the Industrial Revolution, essentially. It smelled horrible. The working conditions were inhumane. Child labor, coal miners, steam engine builders. It was the Industrial Revolution, okay? The Industrial Age had dawned.

on the Thames River. And it was filled with so many dead bodies and so much nasty runoff from all those new factories that would backfire. But then again, you want to talk about architecture, you want to talk about fashion, you want to talk about a society with

customs. You know what I mean? A rigid society with customs. I think it would be insane to just be an observer. I'd be like, damn, y'all really had it like this. You know what I mean? I would have met Sherlock Holmes, okay? I would have convinced him somehow by my wit and charm and intelligence to bed me.

I have his child. We create the next Elon Musk. He's a progressive. He takes over 1910s London. Okay, stay with me. We don't have a Victorian period. We have a Broski period. My great-great-grandmother Broski, Lady Broski, if you will, gave birth to my great-grandmother and down the lineage. That's why my lips are so small. Okay.

So I just wanted to go into that background to explain to you guys why my forehead's so big and my lips are small. It's because of that. So it's just genetics. Anyways, back to this painting of the sacrificial lamb. If y'all have a chance, Google it today. It's called Agnes Day, A-G-N-U-S-D-E-I. And it is a simple still life.

but not still at all. You know what I mean? This picture is filled to the brim with emotion, detail, and significance. So just go ahead and throw that out there. Now we're going to go back to my initial Google search, which was the sacrificial lamb. What is the significance? I fear I've gone down a Wikipedia rabbit hole. Okay, I'm trying to get to the bottom of why lambs are the sacrificial animal of choice.

And what I've been able to pin down is that it's just loosely tied to Abrahamic religions, which is Islam, Christianity, Judaism. Right? Those are all Abrahamic. The Abrahamic religions. Judaism, Christianity, Islam. I am the smartest person in this room. Okay, here's what I've landed on after that.

The Passover sacrifice, also known as the Paschal lamb or the Passover lamb, is the sacrifice that the Torah mandates the Israelites to ritually slaughter on the evening of Passover and eat lamb on the first night of the holiday with bitter herbs and matzo. Yum. You know, I'm trying, I'm looking more for like, what is the significance of a lamb in particular?

Was that just what they had around? Is there some, you know, proposed purity and innocence because they're a white animal? Like their wool is white? Like what is the, I don't know.

You know what I mean? I'm not really connecting the dots here. But what I did connect the dots to is wild goose chase to sacrificial lamb. So that should be applauded. And y'all should really be more willing to give me credit for what it is I do here. Okay, because that was impressive. That was impressive. Did I connect the two? No, not really. But I would say that a sacrificial lamb is a surprise.

Surprise! Me when I get a sacrificial lamb at my birthday party. You guys should know, to be loved is to be seen. Okay, topic generator. Excuse me, miss. Actually, you want to know what's been stuck in my head? We like the boys up top in the BK.

That's my favorite Destiny's Child song.

random word generator, sip and colony. Okay, let's talk about this, how the Jamestown colony was what modern politicians would describe as a terrorist attack.

Jamestown was a motherfucking terrorist attack on the native population that lived here. And I'll die on that hill. Jamestown and any of the Puritan settlers, the initial settlers, they brought disease, war, and destruction. And if that ain't the history of this nation, let me tell you something. What did I connect? Sip and colony. Um, sip. Um, sip.

Yeah, can't do it. Mountain and mass. Mountain and mass. Under the mountain, Sarah J. Mass. Next, vegetation and fluctuation. Here's what I want to talk about when it comes to this one. Okay, vegetation and fluctuation.

Vegetation, when I think of this word, a visual image pops into my head. And what I'm about to describe, I need you guys to stick with me 'cause it's gonna be worth it, okay? There is a scene in the wonderfully acclaimed and well-known inbreeding series called "City of Bones," which I'm gonna spoil it 'cause the book came out 15 years ago. There are two lead characters

and their love interests, they're like, you know, strangers to lovers. They're brother and sister, okay? Because they were estranged, it's this whole like, "They're about to be related!" Oh, thank god they're not related. You find out later in the series they're not related. But I remember reading this book as probably like, I don't know, a 12, 13 year old and being scarred and horrified. I was like, "I didn't realize this was a topic in fiction, in like young adult fiction."

there we're doing incest right now hey i'm 13 we're tackling some pretty heavy like controversial topics go ahead and make them brother and sister thank you so much and i'm waiting for the sequel city of bones they made into a movie okay with jamie lee curtis with jamie lee curtis and emily in paris okay and they were both in the movie and

You know, their brother and sister, not Jamie Lee Curtis, Jamie Lynn Spears, Jamie Lynn Bauer, Jamie Campbell Bauer. Fuck! Oh my God! He like to move and move it. We like to move and move it. He like to move and move it. We like to move it. Physically fit, physically fit, physically, physically fit. Okay, that was hard to say. Here's what, okay, let me finish my thought.

In City of Bones the movie with Jamie Lynn Curtis, Jamie Lee Curtis and Emily in Paris, they are, they are, oh my God, I'm so excited to actually talk about this right now because this used to be my special interest. They were what was called Nephilim, okay? Now Nephilim, if any of you guys are like science fiction, religious fiction, mythology sort of lovers,

The Nephilim were half-breeds of angels and humans that, like, you know, were intimate. So they are the demigod children of that. So let me go ahead and fact-check that. Okay, let me put you onto this.

The New American Bible commentary draws a parallel to the Epistle of Jude and the statement set forth in Genesis, suggesting that the epistle refers implicitly to the paternity of Nephilim as heavenly beings who came to earth and had sexual intercourse with women.

The footnotes of the Jerusalem Bible suggest that the biblical author intended the Nephilim to be an anecdote of a superhuman race. Superhuman, in this context, refers to the extremity of their wickedness. Evidence cited in favor of the fallen angels interpretation includes the fact that the phrase, the sons of God, is used twice outside of Genesis 6. In the book of Job,

where the phrase explicitly references angels. Another modern view that aligns with the fallen angel interpretation includes Nephilim being the offspring of demon-possessed men and women. What? So anyway, Nephilim, right? And we're operating under this premise that it is half angel, half human.

Not really an ethical connotation attached to it, though. Like, the Nephilim weren't ever seen as good or bad, but the Nephilim were hidden from the average human. Then there's something called shadow hunters. God! I just, I feel like the, like, neckbeard mom's basement guy. Oh!

I'm chugging two liter Mountain Dews by the daily, my Stanley cup full of Mountain Dew. Big red, code red. Like the way that I just said that and I watched myself say it on this big screen in front of me. Okay, then you have your shadow hunters. Shut the- But like I was saying, shadow hunters hunt the Nephilim.

And there were some books I read. There was a book I read called Fallen. And let me tell you something about this book. It is horny. Before I even know what horny books were, I had a moment in time where I was addicted to the idea of Nephilim. And, you know, there are a bunch of books about it. There's another one called... Girl, I'm off the edible. I thought a roach crawled across the desk. Hi!

All right. Maybe I made that fucking book up. It's on my shelf out there. Damn. Damn. Anyway, let me get back to vegetation. City of Bones. City of Bones, Jamie Lee Curtis and Emily in Paris movie. Okay.

They're brother and sister. We don't know that yet, but it's not real, okay? They're in this greenhouse part. So basically, she's a shadow hunter. He draws runes on shit. He's weird. Also is like the bad boy. His name is Jace. And she's like, why can I see you? Because it's that classic, like, you can see me, right? Because he's kind of paranormal. She's like, what are you talking about? Right?

You know, or classic like Percy Jackson, where she's like, this is a lost language. It's dead. No one can read it. And he goes, I can. Remember those fucking people at TikTok used to make those type of videos in 2020? Just like playing imaginary. They were playing on TikTok.

which I used to do in my room and still do sometimes. Now, don't be too heavy on me right now because I used to do it. I just never filmed it. And that's for a good reason. Those people who would come on TikTok and be like, POV, you're in English class and this happens. Or POV, you're in Greek class and this happens. And they'll put the Percy Jackson, Michael Jackson and the Lightning Thief

Okay, so, and when you do the video, the POV videos, and then you put Tito Jackson and the Lightning Thief soundtrack, ambient music, light fireplace, light rain, YouTube video 4K, 12 hours. You put that on. What was I talking about? Did anyone have any clue? Could anyone throw me a fucking line here? Throw me a life jacket. I'm just, I completely just drowned in the bit.

That, you watched that happen real time, right? I fully just drowned in the bit. That's crazy. I'm up here right now. I'm, I'm up here right now. Audio listeners, I'm holding my hands above my head. You want to know something I learned? This is how you do a, what is a releve? This is how you hold your fingers as a ballerina. Is you're supposed to be able, you put your, you put a pin like this. Other way.

You hold a pin like this, okay? I'm holding it. My middle finger is on top and my two other fingers are under the pin. Okay, now imagine I'm curving my hand. This is how you're supposed to hold your fingers as a ballerina. Okay, I learned that. And I believe a relevé is that, this, but on your tippy toes. And you like bend your knees down. I think that's a relevé. Who's to say? Maybe me. Let me look it up. A movement in which the dancer rises on the tips of the toes. I'm a genius.

Okay, back to the Nephilim and City of Bones. There is a scene in this fucking movie where they're in a greenhouse in this like safe haven, you know, safe keep that they always go back to. What's that called when military people have like a hideout? Safe house. It's like their safe house. And they go in there and there's a big greenhouse and it's Jamie Lee Curtis's birthday, Jamie Campbell Bower's birthday.

And they're in there. And I remember the soundtrack is fucking Demi Lovato, Poot Lovato singing on the soundtrack. And as soon as they kiss, because here's a spoiler alert, right? I reblogged this gif of them making out so many times. I was addicted to the scene. And it's the most like unsteamy thing you've ever seen. They're just kissing like on a stairwell. And but the way he cups her neck is so fucking sensual. Yeah.

Damn! It's so sensual. He like tips her head. He tips her head up. Oh my god. I had to like clutch my pearls. I reblog that gif every day.

Wake up 6 a.m., do my shitty makeup routine, which just involved putting on eyeliner and not plucking my eyebrows. And then I do all day at school being a genius, learning about art history, which is not going to serve me in life except give me stuff to talk about on a podcast in the future in 15 years.

Okay, do schoolwork, and then after school, you do theater rehearsal for anywhere from three to six hours. Okay, I also worked a job. I worked at Baskin Robbins. After theater rehearsal, I go home. Okay, I'm supposed to do my homework after that. I don't. I go on Tumblr, and I fart around for four hours.

I would go on Tumblr. I would be on Wattpad. I would be freaking my shit, doing my thing. And then literally around like 1130, 1145 p.m., I'd start my homework. I probably got two, three hours of sleep a night as a high schooler and I was fine. And now if I don't get, I haven't slept a full night in probably four years. I guess one of the supplements I take for my PCOS is like a diuretic and it makes me pee.

It makes me pee every 45 seconds. Like, I feel like I have to pee all the time. And I pee a lot. I also drink a lot of water. But I pee all the time. And it affects, like, I can't sleep eight hours uninterrupted in REM, Ariana Grande sleep without getting up to pee. Like, probably every three, four hours I get up. And it sucks, too, to be on an airplane, like, a long-haul flight. I'm up pissing every 30 minutes. It sucks.

So I don't know what's going on there, but yeah, I would reblog that GIF of them kissing a lot. Holy shit. Okay, so I talked about that. I talked about the scene of them kissing. I reblogged it. I would, you know, reserve probably for a good like month there in high school, about an hour and a half after school and rehearsal would be reserved for looking at that GIF, thinking about that GIF, reading about that GIF. It was a lot.

This episode is brought to you by Tinder. A new relationship starts every three seconds on Tinder. You heard me, every three seconds. And some of those relationships start with moments you don't see coming. Ever underestimated that three chili peppers on a menu?

The waiter said it wasn't that spicy, but they had lied. Your date felt so bad, they took you out for ice cream to cool things down. And what started as a spicy disaster turned into the cutest Tinder date ever. Okay, minus the bathroom trips.

It sucks to be wrong about your spice tolerance, but it's great to be wrong about Tinder. Explore all the possibilities for yourself on Tinder. It starts with a swipe. Download Tinder today. Let's do one more random word generator. My two words next are oh and ballet. Yeah, let me rant about ballet. Yeah, I'll talk about ballet. Fine.

Don't yank on my little penis. Don't yank on my penis. Don't yank my dick. Sorry, that felt a little, that didn't feel right coming out of my mouth. You know what I mean? Didn't feel good at all for anyone involved. I don't think I'd like to apologize up front for saying dick. Well, dick's funny, but not like that. Where do you think yanking my chain comes from? Like, you gotta be yanking. Are you yanking my chain?

Etymology is my passion. Etymology is my passion. It's what I think about a lot. It's where my mind always goes. Don't go changing. You want to know my song of the week? It's from the Shrek 2 soundtrack. And it's I Need a Hero. And it's not the fairy godmother version. It's summer after midnight in my wildest fantasy. Find it just beyond my reach. Summer hanging back for me. I don't know why not.

That song? You know... That song is so fucking good. Go back and listen to that song. Go back and listen to that whole album top to bottom. Front to back, back to front. It is so good. The car soundtrack...

The How to Train Your Dragon soundtrack, the... What movie did I just say? That soundtrack. They're so good. Um, okay. What was I going to look up? What was I going... Ballet. Okay, I'm done with this. Summer after midnight and my water's fancy. Singing in the shower. La-da-dee, la-da-da, la-da-da.

Dancing in the mirror. This is something that is completely unrelated, but I do feel the need to bring up, okay? I had the most beautiful little moment with myself last night. I was laying in bed and I was reflecting.

As I do, if you'll allow it, I was reflecting on some past romantic experiences I've had that ultimately were a failure and borderline ruined me, okay? Did I recover? Absolutely, I did. Because fuck you guys. You fuck on me, fuck on you. If you fuck on me, fuck you. So like, I was reflecting and I was...

Being kind to myself, right? I was like, the more I have these experiences as painful and distracting and annoying as they are, it's necessary to redirect me where I need to go. You know what I mean? Like the more I interact with these fucking weirdos, weirdos, the more I interact with these weirdos, it's like you could never make me happy. You could never make me happy.

I used to be the opposite of that, of like, it's something wrong with me. I can't make him happy. Like, I guess I'm just not, you know, I'm broken. I'm damaged goods. I'm too big. You know, I'm too loud. I'll make myself smaller. Yeah, sure. I've been that girl. And now I'm on the completely opposite side of like listening to yourself and your desires before you ever even think about his.

Because he sure as fuck isn't thinking about yours. So why, you know what I mean? So I've completely switched my thinking quicker this time, albeit it took a few weeks with this last fucking situationship. But I realized, you know, like I, you could never make me happy. And it's a nice thing to flip that conversation and position back on them, you know, because it's not all about you, dude. You're not the only person in this relationship.

And I'll bend over backwards to try to get you what you need. But if you're not a serious person, don't fucking leave me alone. You are wasting my time. You don't know what you want. And it sure as hell in me. So get like, leave me alone. That's been the last two I've dealt with. And it's also this, you know, I have to think about this now of like, why, why do you want to be with me?

Do you like the access I give you? Do you like the privileges of, you know, being around? So I think genuinely that it's an ego boost for them. I think that the men that historically I've talked to are impressed by my wit and they want to see if they can hold their own with me. It is completely a ritual and a practice and like,

you know, ego boosting and navel gazing and comparison. I'm funnier than her. I bet I'm just as funny as her. I want to say. And when they talk to me, they get a rush of adrenaline. It's sick. I talked to Caleb and Drew about this all the time where I'm like, these motherfuckers cannot be trusted. And do you really like me for me? You know, it's gross. Like the last two that I've talked to, it's like, it's very actually evident to me right now that you want something from me.

And it's gross. You try not to look at it like that. You try not to think that about someone, but endlessly it's true. So, I mean, I've met probably like three exceptions in my life. Drew's fiance is one of them where it's like, you get it.

We're on the same page. I don't feel the need to justify my existence or my being in this room to you, you know? I have nothing to offer you other than my company. And it's, you know what I mean? It's great. So I'm not saying that they don't exist. I'm saying that it is a rarity.

And for that reason, when I make sweeping generalizations like that, of like endlessly, they're always going to be like that. They're always the same. It's me being cynical, but at the same time, that's my lived experience. And that doesn't make it absolute. My old therapist used to tell me that. I speak in absolutes, which is true. And it's euphemistic, but it's also kind of negative. She said, don't speak in absolutes so much. And so when I'm making general generalizations,

That most men I have spoken to or have interacted with in a romantic sense did not respect me. Obviously, it goes without saying. But also, I think, knew they couldn't keep up and they sort of quit while they were ahead.

It's embarrassing, too, when you are with someone who, and Drew reminds me of this a lot, of the things I liked in that person were just a reflection of the qualities I already have.

You know, that what I like in them, I already have in myself. So they have nothing to offer me because I'm essentially looking into a mirror when I hang out with them because they're just mimicking me. And historically, I would have, you know, dwindled myself and molded myself to fit them. They don't, they didn't want me. They didn't ask me to do that. You know, it's just like, I'll never do it again. But it's a, it's a strange thing to notice that. Like this last person I was hanging out with, I was like, you're turning into me.

And then the one before that was copying me. It's crazy! These men are fucking crazy, y'all! I'm not joking! I'd rather die alone! I would rather die alone. I made a vow to myself halfway through last year. I will never let another man into my house that I pay for. If you are not gay or related to me, get the fuck off my porch. I don't want to see you. I don't want to see you.

Like, there's no reason a man should ever come to your house. You have a man coming over to what, murder you? Why the fuck would you need a man in your house? Like, that's crazy, actually. I don't know, dude. I just, this last one really left such a sour, gross taste in my mouth. And the way it ended was so childish. Not on my behalf.

And it's like, y'all want to be grown so bad. You want to be grown and talk to beautiful, charming, successful women. And then you shit in your fucking pants when they're like, okay, I'll give you my attention now that you're begging for it. Here's my attention. And then they shit their pants and then they leave. Fucking good riddance. I don't want to be grown.

I also don't have to, you know, I'm in this phase of life where I talk about this. I don't want to have kids. I don't want to do anything that isn't this. I don't want anything that would tie me down to anything. I don't want to have to consider anyone else's schedule and opinions before my own. I don't want to have to accommodate and compromise and do this and pay for this. I'd rather be alone.

Like, I realized that pretty quickly. I would love, sure, to find someone, but I like my stuff very particular. You know what I mean? Like, the candles I want to burn, and if I want to leave dishes in the sink, I'm going to do that. But at the same time, the house needs to be generally clean and picked up. You know, it's little things like that. Like, I leave my toothbrush and toothpaste, like, on the counter. Are you someone that's like, I don't know.

I don't know. And I don't want to have to think about it. And I don't want to have to share my space. So my message being, I'm totally fine being alone. And I can finally say that and mean it. Like, I mean it. I am fine if I'm alone. I like being alone.

I like my me time because I get to recharge and I get to do the things I want to do. If I want to read my Kindle for eight hours straight, I'm going to do that. Don't talk to me. Don't look at me. Don't bother me. Stop breathing so fucking loud. Like literally get, go sleep on the couch. You know what I mean? Because that's another thing. I'm not moving in with a man into his home. No!

I will-- you will have to rip me away from my room and my living room couches, but-- I start biting him. I don't want to leave my house. I love my house. I love being alone in my house. Get out of here! Why are you here? Anyway, yeah, man, that's how I feel, like, right now in my life, because I did-- I lived with a man for about a month over the summer.

Y'all don't know the lore. Y'all don't know my lore. And you never will. And you never will. Yeah, I lived with a man for like a month. That shit was weird. Like, ew, you don't wash your hands after you pee. Y'all are so gross. And it's the mindless shit too. Like just leaving things everywhere, not wiping the counter if it's wet. If you spilled something, leaving it. It's like, aren't you? So I'm getting stressed out, worked up about a relationship I'm not in.

So that'll do it for me this week, guys. I love you guys. Y'all be good. Go listen to that song. Go listen to Shrek 2 soundtrack. Please, for the love of God, the Shrek 2 soundtrack. Let me tell you something, too. This is not going to be the last time I mention Shrek 2 in the weeks to come, in the months to come, years to come. Shrek 2 is an evergreen topic that I will continue to sing its praises.

Thank you, Lord. Hallelujah. Okay, y'all. We'll see you next week. If you want a Broski Report hoodie, go to broski.shop. You want a Momo slipper, it's broski.shop. Thank you, guys. Royal Court comes out pretty much every week. So go check that show out, okay? It's a cute little indie girl. She directs it and she stars in it and she writes it. It's, you know, it's like an indie little project. So go check out Royal Court. And then...

Everyone leave a comment under this video that says... Fuck that. I forgot what I was saying, but Andor season two comes out this year, I'm pretty sure. Um, lock in. If y'all haven't seen Andor season one, go watch it right now. I listed the Shrek 2 soundtrack now. Okay. Love you guys.