99: Moonbeam Ice Cream & Swans
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Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states or situations. Direct from the Broski Nation headquarters in Los Angeles, California, this is the Broski Report with your host, Brittany Broski. Mm-mm. Y'all. Mm. Mm-mm. Y'all. I can't do it today. What the hell is going on? Mm-mm.

Y'all go back to bed. It's too much today. I feel, I feel ran over. I feel ran over and I feel just butt ugly today, y'all. I don't know what is in the fucking air. Actually, let me say something. Something is in the air because I woke up this morning moody, moody as fuck.

Like, just dramatic. I almost threw a hissy in front of the sink alone in my house. Y'all ever thrown a hissy? You know what that looks like? You throw a hissy fit? Where are my Southern, where are the Southerners at? Man, I almost threw a hissy this morning by myself to nobody. Just pissed. The energy today is wretched. And I woke up and I said, okay.

Making my coffee. Shit was going wrong. In a bad mood. My mouth rash came back. Had to smear on some fucking ointment. Like an injured lizard at the zoo. Like a lizard in his enclosure. Oh, he's molting. He's got an infection. Why are reptiles so hard to care for? Let me fire up Google. Hold on. I've got some questions today.

Oh, good morning, broski nation. Today, something is in the air. Something shifted last night. I don't know. And I literally woke up and I was like, I have to go read about what's happening astrologically, astro-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c

We've got to go see what the woo-woo girls are talking about. And oh my God, by the way, can I just say, is it just my feed that's all woo-woo tarot readings? Like, I obviously understand the phone listens to us, but damn, every other video is like, July, your lucky month. He's coming. He's coming. Who's coming, bitch? Leave me alone. I'm scared.

I'm scared of Taro! 'Cause you bitches take it too far! I don't know, it's like this looming- I have too much anxiety for that type of shit. He's coming. Oh! I'm gonna lock- Who's coming?! Oh my god, who's coming? Lock the fucking door. Get- Oh my god, I feel so nervous all the time. I started taking L-theanine. What do y'all know about L-theanine?

My doctor put me on it. It's a natural supplement for anxiety. So, and I didn't take it this morning. So I need to go take it. I need to go take all my, all my pills. It's just vitamins. Okay, y'all, I gotta be totally real with you. I hate my hair today. I'm bloated. I look tired as fuck. I put on concealer, but I still look, everything on my face is just round and the skin is puffy and I feel like my boobs sit weird. A day.

It's damn, it's damn 9 a.m. and I'm already having a day. And I had coffee and it's not working. I need to start doing enemas. I need to start doing fucking taurine enemas. If any of y'all have good douching companies you recommend. Okay, here's the deal, y'all.

I feel really woo-woo today. I woke up and there's something in the air, something- I feel like, intuitively, something probably shifted this morning. Let's have a reading. Let's have a reading. Welcome, everyone! Today is Monday, June 23rd, as of when I'm recording this, and something is going on, okay? And I'm sure it'll extend into tomorrow. I can't even talk. My throat chakra's all fucked up! My throat chakra's fucked up!

Here's what CoStar is telling me. Here's what CoStar is telling me. You are destined for more than one important love. You've been waiting for the one. Missing chances that didn't fit your picture. Look around. Multiple loves already exist in your life. The perfect person isn't coming. Several imperfect important ones are.

fuck you, co-star fucking bitch. What do you know? This is truly like all the tarot shit. And when I had my psychic reading and some of my woo-woo witchy friends, July is going to be major for me. Now, I don't have anything really on the books for July, which is what's scaring me. It's freaking me out because is something going to come up and I'm going to magically one night? I don't know. And

At this point, it's more of a threat than a promise. A man is going to enter my life in July? Keep him. I don't. I'm not ready for all that. Shit. It's like a threat. Like my fight or flight is going and I'm just sitting here in my home. Do. Share blankets. Good posture. Shit. Play it cool. Don't.

Lost Love, Packed Bags, YA Books. And what if I want to read YA books? Genuinely, fuck CoStar. I don't love this reading. Let's dive deeper. Oh, you got to pay? Oh, it's behind a paywall? Okay, sure. Go ahead and scroll past that. Something came up where I had done a reading for me and someone else. I had paid $2.99 to have a compatibility reading for me and someone else. And that had just come up, so...

Today, all of your feelings are out in the open. Say that again. You mistake your feelings for fact, make decisions based on your mood, and judge yourself for being irrational.

Throw yourself into what another person is saying. You already know how to tread water, and that's a start. This month, you have to focus on how to alter your pace for people when you're pushed before you're ready. You don't have to punish yourself for refusing to give in, but you do have to be intentional about it. Be adaptable. If you cling hard and fast to every detail, it will without a doubt lead to a boring life. See, what are you? Am I stupid? Don't answer that.

I read this and I'm like, that's a whole lot of vague nothing. This is not a reading. You're pushed before you're ready and you really just have to open your wings and be sure you're ready. Ready for what? The general theme of your life during this period is to contemplate the vastness of the universe. I don't want to do that. I feel like I do a fucking death event on this podcast.

and reconsider what role you want to play in it. Dreams and intuition help you find the places you're looking for. I feel disconnected from my intuition. COSTAR, YOU FUCKING BITCH! Okay, here's the deal. I've been seeing signs. There's not a more Caucasian woman than me alive, I don't think. I think I might be the palest, whitest fucking person on the planet.

Oh, y'all, what is happening? What's going on? I'm sweating. Okay. I'm about to, like, have a stroke. I'm also on my periods. Everything, everything is fuckered today. I've been seeing swans everywhere. Let's Google that. I've actually been waiting to Google this when I was on the podcast. Slur your words one more time. I've been waiting to Google this. I was like, Jesus, what?

I keep seeing swans everywhere. Spiritual meaning.

Swans often symbolize purity, love, and transformation. In many cultures, they represent the journey of the soul moving from one stage of life to another with grace. Their ability to switch effortlessly between water, land, and air is seen as a metaphor for adaptability and spiritual growth. And that I claim. That I claim. Seeing swans frequently can be a powerful spiritual symbol. Let's keep going.

Should we go to Quora or Reddit? Reddit. This is r slash... Once again, we're back on r slash spirituality. r slash cryptids, r slash etymology, r slash ghosts, and r slash spirituality. Okay. This dude is just saying, last night I was driving by a lake, I saw a swan in the water. No other swans to be seen. And the thing was staring right at me. Yeah, I keep seeing... I keep seeing, um...

of swans. I keep, like, I was in traffic the other day and I was at a red light and you know how sometimes, I don't know what the hell those are. They're like electrical boxes on the side of the road sometimes, like by gas stations and stuff. And they'll paint them. I know in LA they do that. Like sometimes there's ballerinas and whatever. I keep seeing swans. I passed one the other day. Swan. A billboard the other day. Swan. What is that? Okay. The, okay. Swans signify

Now we know that. Grace, beauty, purity, love, wisdom, and tranquility. You're a very lucky person. The swan represents purity and God.

Ramakrishna, a 19th century Indian saint, is closely associated with the swan, which holds deep symbolic meaning in Hinduism and Vedanta philosophy. The swan represents the paramatman, or the supreme self, which is the ultimate goal of spiritual seekers. In Hindu mythology, the swan is said to possess the unique ability to separate milk from water, symbolizing the ability to discern the eternal from the transient.

The mythological attribute makes the swan an apt representation of the spiritual aspirant's journey towards self-realization. I'm realizing, I'm realizing some things. And what I'm realizing is that maybe there's a man on the way and maybe that man is Jesus Christ and maybe it's the rapture because my spiritual psychosis is coming to a beautiful crescendo. Maybe, maybe God's coming back and it's time I become a Christian again. Maybe God was right.

Maybe this whole Christian thing, I should give it another chance. I'm just kidding. The use of the swan image in the Vedanta Society logo serves as a reminder of the ultimate goal of spiritual seeking, to realize one's true nature as the supreme self. It also underscores the importance of discernment and spiritual practice in achieving this goal. Actually, you know what?

This actually, it's resonating because something I've been practicing lately and I've had some trials in lately is what is for me? Just because something comes into your path doesn't mean it's for you necessarily. You still have to discern, which is what AccomplishedLet906 three months ago on Reddit is telling me.

And Lord knows I'll trust anyone on Reddit because I think they might be some of the smartest people on planet Earth. Reddit is like an untapped mine, a diamond mine. And I consult it. It's my Oracle of the Delphi. This episode is sponsored by Captain Morgan's Sweet Chili Lime. So delicious, so unbelievable, no word exists to describe it. It's better than mind-blowing. It's mouth-blowing. Yeah, you heard me.

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This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Fiscally responsible, financial geniuses, monetary magicians. These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to Progressive and save hundreds. Because Progressive offers discounts for paying in full, owning a home, and more. Plus, you can count on their great customer service to help you when you need it, so your dollar goes a long way.

Visit progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states or situations. Oracle at the Delphi. Who the hell is Delphi? Does anyone have eyes on Delphi? Oracle at Delphi.

The Oracle of Delphi was a renowned priestess known as Pythia, who served as the Oracle of the Temple of Apollo at Delphi in ancient Greece. Now, Apollo, there's some tea on Apollo. Apollo was doing things, and I mean sleeping around. He was crazy. Apollo's such a flirt. Apollo, Greek god.

One of the most important and complex of the Greek gods. He's the god of music, poetry, light, healing, prophecy, and archery. He's one of the 12 Olympians residing on Mount Olympus. He is associated with the sun, truth, and the muses. He's also, really, what's the word? Ornery. Wasn't he an ornery god? Isn't that the whole thing with Greek gods? Have I talked about this before? How

They operate from a place of almost boredom. Like sometimes they can be cruel just to be cruel. It's not like this divine, you know, whatever our idea of an Abrahamic God is like,

altruistic and omnipotent and works individually in everyone's lives and it's about your personal relationship to the creator God Almighty Greek gods are like girl they could give a fuck if you live or die as long as you worship them because they are first and foremost egoists and and second of all

They fucking hate humans, I guess. Humans are more like a plaything. And if you bring them, you know, if you treat them accordingly, I guess they will treat you accordingly. But that's not a guarantee. What is Greek God's relationship to humans?

The gods intervened in human affairs, sometimes benevolently, other times capriciously, and even for their own amusement. See, that's what I'm saying. Humans, in turn, relied on the gods for protection, guidance, and even as scapegoats for their misfortunes. Okay, very interesting to me. I really gotta read the Odyssey. I have to read the Odyssey and the Iliad before...

Oppenheimer's damn Before Nolan does The Odyssey because guess what? That's going to be my new hyper fixation. When that movie drops, I'm sorry for what I'm going to turn into. When The Odyssey by Christopher Nolan drops, hey, okay, I'm not satisfied with the answer for why am I seeing swans. Why am I seeing swans everywhere?

Okay, let's rule out some things. When do swans migrate? During colder months, they migrate south. Well, it's the middle of summer. California, especially the Central Valley, is a major stopover point for migrating swans. What the fuck? Okay, we're on. We're in deep woo-woo-ville right now. PureTwinFlames.com

swans meaning for twin flames. Now, I don't really know. Okay, let's just read. Are you wondering about the swans meaning for twin flames? I guess. If you see swans, there might be a significant message coming your way. Again, ominous.

A swan for twin flames is often a symbol of success on the journey to union. They symbolize long-term love, fertility, and faith in the divine timing and spiritual journey you're on. This can be an incredibly good sign. I don't like this ominous countdown down here on the bottom of this page. Free twin flame readings in one hour and ten minutes. Get a video reading. What? No way it's free.

Many of us have that romantic picture in mind, with the two swans forming a heart shape with their long and elegant necks as their beaks touch in a gesture of tenderness. Part of the romance connected to swans comes from the fact that they usually mate for life. It makes them the sweet and touching image of romantic devotion. Seeing swans can be full of spiritual meaning. Due to their habit of mating for life, swans have this spiritual meaning of a soul-deep connection.

The fact that they tend to put their heads together in front. Okay, we get it. Seeing swans could mean that you and your mirror soul are about to make contact. Be it in the dream realm or in the 3D. That depends on the level of interaction you already have, of course.

What? You might see swans when you're dealing with some obstacles or doubts of your own or when your twin deals with them. Who is my mirror soul? What does that mean? Mirror soul.

Mirror souls, often associated with the concept of twin flames, describes a deep, reflective, and intense spiritual connection between two individuals. It suggests that these individuals mirror each other's thoughts, emotions, and even past traumas, facilitating personal growth and self-discovery. But here's the thing about twin flames. I've never thought of a twin flame as a romantic thing. Is that just me? When someone's my twin flame, that's like we're

I always think of that in a platonic sense, like a friend level, because I don't want to be that similar with my young gentleman. I don't think I want that. I don't want you to, well, maybe twin flame, mirror soul. Who the fuck knows? Okay, we're going to move on to something a little happier for a second, because I'm going to try to power through, you know, I feel ugly. I feel bloated. I feel like my boobs are pointing different directions. I just really need to

be in center with myself. I need to connect with what's in here and not what's out here because out here today is truly out of my control. What's going on externally with me today, not your business, not really my business. And don't you fucking dare look at me from behind because what's going on back there, nobody's business.

I showed up today and sometimes that's all you can do. You can just show up and sometimes, you know, you put on your black cat, Moo Moo, and you just hope for the best. And I'm hoping for the best. And I don't know if y'all are getting the best today. And I feel really horrible about that. But what the hell is going on? Broski Nation, I want to put it on everyone's hearts today here in the congregation to prioritize yourself. Prioritize yourself.

And this is a big theme and a lot of things going on in my life right now, okay? I'm cutting things off that don't serve me.

People don't get second chances. Don't let someone fuck on you twice and don't let someone tell you they don't want you twice. Okay. Message received. Let's move on. In that vein, I have something that I'd like to share with you today that I saw on TikTok.gov and I found it to be incredibly helpful. And I wanted to share it with y'all because I know last time when I shared that, um, that TikTok I got that was like best shower night routine.

Really changed my life. Changed some of y'all's too. That summer Aperol Spritz playlist. Everything. Okay. If you don't know what I'm talking about. It was this girl showers at night with the lights real low. And this playlist on Spotify called Aperol Spritz. And it's just basically like a multi-coast bossa nova. And yeah. It's just a relaxing luxurious self-care routine. In that vein. This is what I want to tell everyone. Also.

I want to mention updated self-care routine. That's what this is. I saw this TikTok from, let me find her name, Grace Moser. Grace Moser on TikTok, shout out. She made what most are calling, what some are calling an anti-rot summer, which is essentially get the fuck off your phone and stop doing that. Stop doing that.

Where you doom scroll and you start to feel sorry for yourself and you start to just feel sorry for being alive. And maybe you're having a day like I'm having today where the energy is just wretched. And you just, I just don't, I want to abstain from mirrors today. That's what my energy is giving today. And quite honestly, just got to power through it. Here is...

The updated self-care routine. Okay. One day a week, no phone. This is what Grace is telling us. Okay. And I'm listening to Grace. One day a week, no phone. That is hard. That is hard. Because I know a lot of us work from our phones. A lot of us, uh...

You know, obviously life gets in the way. I tried to do this one day last week and I almost sent myself into a panic attack because I convinced myself that everyone I loved had died and that there was something horrible happening and what, hey, it was just Tuesday and I was fine. But I don't know what it is. Like I truly, and I mean this very, very genuinely and just know that this is something I'm working on and progress is not linear.

I am addicted to my phone. It is a genuine addiction. I have withdrawals when I'm not on my fucking phone. I'm logging minimum eight hours of screen time a day from the moment I wake to when I go to sleep. I am on my cell phone. Most of the time it's about 14 hours and I'm spending on my phone and it's hard to write like my jobs on my phone. It's not like I can just

go AWOL, just like drop off the grid. Like I have to be accessible. I run a business. Like I have business relationships and deadlines and friends and family to keep up with. I can't just not be on my phone. How does anyone do that? And it's so much, but like, what am I going to do? Text a bunch of people, hey, I'm not going to be on my phone today. And what if you don't get that text and you needed something from me and then I don't respond because I'm not on my phone. I can't do it. It makes me nervous. I cannot not be on my phone.

And so I tried it. And honestly, I had a horrible time. I spent a day without my phone. I had a horrible time. Because I was trying to sit outside and read. And all I'm thinking about is what if so-and-so DM me? Oh, I need to check on that email. I should probably call my mom. Oh, I should really call my grandmother. Shit like that. I just, I'm beating myself up. Because I'm like, I'm not on my phone. And I'm thinking about all the ways I should actually be using my phone. Instead of watching ASMR until 4.30 a.m.

Fucking idiot. Staying up late watching crunchy waffle ASMR. Because yeah, you bet your ass that's what I did last night. I watched this one girl. She's got one of those tabas, tabas squishies and she sucks on it. That's the ASMR she does. She sucks on this waffle. And I watch it. She goes like...

I watch her suck on this fucking plastic waffle until 5 a.m. Because of course I do. And then I call my doctor and I'm like, I think I'm anxious. I think I'm not getting enough sleep. And I'm staying up too late. Well, why are you staying up late? No reason. No reason, really.

Yeah, just tired. Yeah, I just don't sleep that well. No, I'm watching cranial nerve exam, gynecology exam, fucking real or fake ASMR 15-minute compilation on loop. I'm watching that shit until the sun rises. And then I go to bed and then my alarm goes off at eight. I go, oh, another fucking day.

Another day. And I wake up and I'm nervous and I'm shaking and I'm like, a man's coming in July. A man's coming in July and he's going to kill me. And I just looked at the viewfinder and I think I look like Jack Nicholson. Hi! Welcome back. I'm Jack Nicholson. I'm still in the throes of spiritual psychosis and I'm seeing swans everywhere. Anyway. And some of you girls were like, yeah, I had a manic episode because I was drinking Red Bull too. Don't!

shit under my videos. I'm in a fragile state of mind because I look like Jack Nicholson. I feel like Jack Nicholson in The Shining. I just really don't know. Actually, you know what I feel like when Robin Williams in Aladdin goes, here's the thing, Sparky. Because that's Jack Nicholson, right? You got him. And he's got his arm around Aladdin. You got him, Sparky. That's how I feel.

Fuck me. I think it's just being on my period. My periods are crazy. My periods are like truly, I know it's that meme online of like chain me to a tree and release me when I'm done with my cycle or whatever, when I'm ovulating. I'm that way three months, three weeks out of the month. I get maybe one week where I'm like, I feel normal. The rest of them are, oh my God. Yeah.

And if one more fucking plane flies overhead without requesting permission to fly through my airspace. Okay, moving on in the self-care routine. One day a week, no phone? Damn near impossible, but I encourage you all to try. As much natural light as possible. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Except for me personally, gotta sit in the shade. Okay, now that's, it's a little hard. I gotta take a vitamin D pill.

Because you set me out in the sun for 15 minutes, no SPF. I am a lobster. I'm just pink. I'm just a pink. I am Rufus the naked fucking mole rat girl. Put him up here. That's what I look like. I'm pink and naked and I've got, I've got, what's that called? Strawberry skin.

I've got damn strawberry skin. Cause my shit's so sensitive. And every time I go to European Wax Center and they're like, you're not exfoliating. I'm like, and I know that's a full statement. I know you're not asking me. You see it. I'm not exfoliating. And then I come in and I'm like, why is my skin blotchy and infected? What is in the air? What is in the air today?

Astrologically, what is going on? Today's astrological weather includes a waning crescent moon and a Mercury-Neptune trine expected tomorrow morning.

Okay. We're going tried and true cafe astrology. I have to put a fucking hat on. I feel so like, please don't look at me. This episode is sponsored by ZocDoc. Bad date stories are always good for a laugh and it almost feels like it's a rite of passage. Like when I went on a date with a guy who popped out his false teeth to show me over a steak dinner.

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Now my eczema's gonna get everywhere! This week in astrology includes the week's moon phase, planets and signs and aspects, retrogrades, this week's astrology calendar, and the void of course moon ta- moon tables? Moonbeam ice cream, taking off your blue jeans, taking off your blue jeans at the movies. Getting a public indecency charge because I'm a Benson Boonator. I'm Benson Boonian.

What are his fans called? Vincent Boonies. "Beef ice cream, taking off your blue jeans." Is that the lyric? "Beef ice cream, taking off your blue jeans. Don't send it to movies." It's a cinema. It's a fucking cinema. You know what I've been working on? You know what I've been working on? My northern accent. It's bad. Ey up. Ey up. Ey up.

Sparky, I look like Jack Nicholson! Okay. June 22nd to 28th, 2025. Hallelujah. On this page, this week's moon phase, this week's moonbeam ice cream flavor. Planet, what moon, what is moonbeam ice cream? What is it? Moonbeam ice cream.

Moonbeam ice cream. It's from Summer Camp Island on Cartoon Network. They say Moonbeam ice cream twice. What is Moonbeam ice cream? Oh, he's been talking about it. And you know what else? Why did he do that Crumble collab? Crumble cookie collab? Moonbeam ice cream taking off your Benson jeans on the Crumble cookie. Dove X. Dove soap X Crumble cookie X Jimmy Fallon X Sheehan X...

X Team U. X Etsy Witch Shop. Etsy. Okay. Swans. Here we go. On this page. This week's moon phase. Planets and signs. Retrogrades. Let's just read it. Oh, God. The new moon. I don't know. That's Twilight. New moon is. There's a possibility. My love is all you know.

Great song. Great soundtrack. What else is on the New Moon soundtrack? New Moon. Be my scream, taking off your blue jeans. They should have put Neon Moon on the New Moon soundtrack. When the sun goes down. The Red Bull kicked in. Oh, Rosalind by Boney Vare.

Bro. 573 million streams. I know that's fucking right. Okay. On Wednesday morning, June 25th, 6.31 a.m. Eastern Daylight Time, the new moon is going to occur. In the sign of cancer. Fuck, that's right. What have we been in? Gemini? It's been Gemini?

Huh. The new moon in cancer is a good time to commit to personal goals that express the positive energies of the sign of the crab. Now I've got a cancer moon and the fucking new moon is going to be in cancer. Oh God. I'm going to cry the whole month of June. And maybe that's because I need to get it out because my mystery gentleman's coming in July.

These include honoring our deepest, most irrational and intimate feelings, recognizing the sense of security and safety we derive from whatever it is we call home, allowing ourselves to accept support and offering support to others, and starting a project aimed at improving our domestic lives or a major long-term venture.

Very interesting to me. With the potent cancer energy, we have the chance to make important changes in our lives that will benefit us beyond the moon cycle. It's time to make some plans and set the stage for reaping the rewards from our new beginnings. As little or big as they may be, in approximately two weeks time after the full moon occurs.

Now when the hell is a full moon supposed to occur? Concentrate on new ways to enhance family life and domestic affairs and to build up your feelings of security and safety. Right. Okay, I don't know what any of this bullshit means. I need someone to explain it to me like I'm an idiot! The new moon aligns with Jupiter and harmonizes with Mars.

creating positive and confident energy behind our new beginnings. However, it also forms a quincunx. Great word. Quincunx. What the fuck is that? An arrangement of five objects with four at the corners of a square and the fifth at its center. What? I did not know there was a term for that.

As much as we want to push ahead with our plans, there can be personal obstacles and blocks primarily related to our independence and personal plans, as well as nagging concerns and fears in our social lives to manage. See, it's too vague. Even though I was talking a little bit of shit on some of the TikTok tarot readers, sometimes they tell you exactly what you want to hear, though. I'll give them that. Sometimes I'm like,

what's happening in July. And they'll pull cards and they'll be like, someone's coming. You need to watch out for X, Y, and Z and be on the lookout for so-and-so. And I'm like, see, that's what I like.

Give me hyper specific readings so that I know what to look for. This shit, a period of transformation is coming up. That's always happening! That's everyone's fucking astrological horoscope every single day for the rest of time. Be aware of some transformations occurring. We're always transforming. Yo me transformo. Yo soy mariposa. Yo me transformo.

Makeup del drag queen, yo me transformo! Lluvia de estrella, yo me transformo! That's what Rosalía said, okay? She said, "I transform, I change, like a fucking butterfly." Like makeup of a drag queen. Like, like, lluvia de estrella. Like rain, like starfall. Like rain from a star. Like a lluvia de estrella. What would that be? Like a falling star?

Anyway. Okay. Last quarter moon. I don't give a fuck. Moon cycle phase. I don't care. The sun is in cancer from June 20th to July 22nd. That's right. Because it's cancer season. We are self-protective and insular under this influence. Our attention turns to our nest

to our nest, our families, homes, and anything that makes us feel at home, safe, and secure. Maybe, here's my bold prediction, okay? This is a test for me because I'm going to Ireland in August, okay? I think I've talked about this. I think we all know this. Something is happening.

I'm going to meet someone in August that is going to change my life. I don't know who it is. I don't even know if it's romantic. Okay. I'm just kind of putting this out there. Something's going to change and mark, mark this timestamp on this episode for when I come back in late August, early September. And I'm like, it happened and I don't know what it is, but I have a feeling I'm going to, I'm going to meet a young gentleman. That's going to change my life. Okay. And it's from this reading because I'm, I'm getting back in touch with my intuition and,

And I'm getting a lot of TikToks about my throat chakra and my heart chakra and whatever the fuck these swans mean. Something is coming. And I think the month of June has been and July will be a period of being sure that this is for me. Okay. June, something almost came to me and I let it go. I let it pass me by because I'm not doing all that again. I'm not doing it again.

Okay. Something, something kind of on the, Ooh, and I almost caught it and I let it go. Okay. Because I'm not fucking doing that because I, I know what I, I know what I deserve because I know what I deserve and I'm not going to take anything less than I deserve. Trust that.

All these trials and tribulations. I'm not going to have to. Mark my words. I have not suffered at the hands of men for the last 28 fucking years on the Gregorian calendar.

to take the slightest little fancy and whim that comes and like ruffles my feathers. Do you know what I mean? Just because a man is nice to you and complimentary and maybe sees the shining light of your aura does not mean that you need to entertain that young gentleman. Hear me, hear me. Just because someone's nice to you doesn't mean you need to let it. Don't pursue me. Leave me alone. Amen. Yes, church. Amen. Leave me the fuck alone.

Unless I'm thinking of a name in my mind, unless you're him and I'm going to meet this young gentleman. Actually, he's older than me. I'm going to eat. I'm going to, excuse me. I'm going to meet this gentleman in August in Ireland. And I'm, I'm letting the universe get creative with the means and how, and also who, but just know that.

I have been through it enough where I now fully am acquainted with the lifestyle and partner type that I want because forever and ever, amen, I've prioritized what he wants. Hey, I'll be that for you or I'll make that happen for you because regardless, I think I'm going to have to be the breadwinner in the relationship. Okay, that's fine.

Okay, that's fine, but don't be threatened by me and don't come in here with any weird feelings towards me because I'm the breadwinner. Okay, don't, we're not doing that. And because some of these men, let me warn you, let me warn you about some of these fucking woman panderers that are out there.

They act like they, oh, a confident woman who's, you know, intimidating. I fucking hate that word. Intimidating. Because she's confident and beautiful and intelligent and competent. And like, has her, did I say competent twice? Has her life figured out. Has a job.

And these succubus fucking men come into your life and want you to just take care of them and then resent you for taking care of them. I'm not doing that shit again. And now I know. Like if there's kind of an imbalance happening up front, leave me alone. Also, these men pursue me first. They pursue me first. And then they get to know me and they realize, and I'm going to talk my shit for a second. They realize that I really am. Because I said so!

Hear my scream breaking in your blue jeans. Because that is what I really do bring, okay? And then when they realize, oh, I'm the exact same in real life as I am online, they're like, eh, I thought you were gonna be... What did you think this was?!

Anyway, I think some men just can't, they see it as a challenge. They don't see it as like a potential for, you know, what if you're my swan? What if we're swans and we got to entangle our necks and we got to get all close and intimate and you don't want to do that because you're threatened because I make TikToks. Because really, what are we talking about, right? Anyway, something's happening to me in August. That's what Cafe Astrology just told me.

And I also think that I'm getting a lot of my, look, a lot of my tarot says the man, there's distance. And regardless, this is something else that I've got. My boobs are sitting weird on my stomach. This is something else that I've like come to terms with. Gonna have to be long distance, right? I travel so much for my job.

I'm all over the place. I'm doing whatever. I have never been able to have a healthy balance between my work and my personal life. It's either one or the other. And I foresee that balance for myself this year because I've worked on it. I've worked on it. And I've said no to things that didn't serve me. And I've said yes to things that do serve me. Wow. Imagine that.

And specifically when it comes to men, I truly am embodying this like, if it's for me, it'll be easy. And shout out to Drew F. Wallow because she's right all the time. She always says that to me. It should be easy. Why is that such a foreign concept? What do you mean it shouldn't be easy? Right. You make a great point, actually, when you say it.

Why is it so difficult to comprehend? Okay, Mercury's in Cancer. Oh, I did a reading on me and somebody said I paid $2.99 on CoStar to have it read our compatibility. We're both Tauruses. I don't know how I feel about that. You got two stubborn, big forehead bitches talking to each other, communicating telepathically.

Just, our foreheads are like shining and emitting a laser beam at each other. We don't even need to talk. Our mouths are so tiny. We just communicate via forehead, you know? I've started saying via as via. What do y'all think about that? Y'all let me know down there in the comments. Does that make me sound more European? Do I look European? Don't answer that. This episode is sponsored by Cash App.

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For a limited time only, new Cash App users can use my exclusive code to earn some additional cash. For real, there's no catch. Just download Cash App and sign up. Use my exclusive referral code, Borowski, in your profile, send $5 to a friend within 14 days, and you'll get $10 dropped right into your account. Terms apply. That's money. That's Cash App. All right. Mercury's in Cancer. Mercury's in Leo. From June to September.

This is an extended stay due to Mercury's retrograde. Mercury is always in a damn retrograde! I'm keeping tabs on Mercury! That bitch relapsed again. What does it mean to be- What does it mean, Mercury retrograde? It's moving backwards.

It appears to be moving backwards. It's an optical illusion. What does it mean? Astrological. Mercury rules communication, travel, technology, and mental processes. During retrograde, these areas may experience challenges or delays. Well, I'm always having a sort of mental delay.

Until that monk fruit kicks in! It is very intriguing to me that you can watch these episodes and gradually watch and pinpoint when the caffeine kicks in.

Because I pregame these episodes with like a cup of coffee, maybe half of my Red Bull. And then there's a beautiful point when it just climaxes. It's like the scene in Ratatouille where he bites the cheese and the strawberry and the swirls start happening. The room goes dark and shit starts swirling around. You can watch that happen to me in real time. Okay, does DoorDash deliver Moonbeam ice cream? Okay, Moonbeam ice cream near me. Um...

The meaning of swans. Okay. I feel like I'm not satisfied with the swan answer. Significance of seeing swans. You know what else I'm worried about? A lot of these tarot readings are saying...

Someone from my past is going to come back to, I, if you're in the past, fucking stay there. Leave me alone. What did I say? Don't let a man reject you twice. Holy shit. You don't get to come back around and get a second chance. Leave me. That's why I block. That's why I block because you don't, you don't get to do that to me again. You don't get to come around and decide that it's your timing. Now you don't get to do that. So.

I'm hoping to meet. And this is what one of my other friends said. If you get a reading that says, you know, oh, you're going to meet someone in July, maybe whatever. Maybe that's your, I sound so fucking trust. I recognize how this sounds. It's just woo woo ville. I've left Eddieville and I've landed in woo woo ville. And I hope you guys are there to greet me with a big crowd with signs. We love you. I'm in woo woo ville. Okay. With all the woo woo girls.

She said, sometimes it's not you meet them, it's your energies open up to each other, and then you meet them later. Okay, so sometimes these tarot readings, these psychics, they get the timing a little wrong, but it will still happen. Okay. The swan has often been seen as a symbol of wisdom and includes awakening the power of self. Awake my soul by Mumford & Sons. By the way, saw Mumford & Sons in concert at the Hollywood Bowl.

You want to talk about a euphoric experience? Marcus Mumford is a genius. He's one of my heroes. And that man has a passion for music, live music, that rivals like the most savant level musical protege you've ever seen. Like Marcus Mumford is a living legend. I will die on that hill. He has been doing this shit to a degree that is so well done. Not just Marcus Mumford, all of Mumford and Sons.

other than the guy who was MAGA, who kind of left, they've been doing just indie folk music so well for damn near 20 years. 20 years. Yeah, 20 years. Just nuts. They did Awake My Soul. Awake! And I sobbed. I cried my little eyes out.

at the Hollywood Bowl. They also did Holland Road. They did Whispers in the Dark. They did Babel. They did Rushmere. They did, did they do Woman? And you know what else? Oh my God. Okay, hold on. Let me finish this. Anyway, I love, I love Pumpernickel's sons. Okay.

Awakening the power of self, balance, grace, inner beauty, innocence, self-esteem, seeing into the future, understanding spiritual evolution, developing intuitive abilities, grace in dealing with others, and commitment. In Celtic tradition, the swan represents the soul, our eternal essence. Are you guys paying attention to what I'm saying? The swan, Celtic tradition?

My Irishman's in the pipeline. My Irishman's in the pipeline and I'm tired of ignoring him. I'm tired of acting like he's not out there. He's out there.

Because I've talked about it too damn much at this point. Swans gracefully glide through the water, leaving hardly a ripple behind. Their natural, effortless beauty reminds us to move gently through the currents of life and not fight against them. Swans do not dive into the water like other birds when feeding. Rather, they skim the water, dipping their long necks and heads in and out. Water is linked with the feminine intuition and emotion.

By following the swan's example, we learn how to view our emotions without getting trapped by them. Wow. Wait, what the fuck? Our intuition and awareness help us comprehend our feelings, and the reflection of this assists us to process and better understand them. Wow, dude. Yeah. Yeah. That's sticking with me. I like that.

Okay, moving on. I would like to speak... What the hell have I been talking about for 56 minutes? Truly, it is beyond me. Here's the thing that I also wanted to talk about. I watched... So I finished Sex and the City. Watched the Sex and the City movie. I'm about to watch the second one. Y'all, can I just say...

Steve and Miranda are made for each other. Okay. I know no one's perfect. I know no one is perfect. And can I also just say, actually, let me bitch for a second. Carrie and Big deserve each other as well. Carrie and Big deserve each other. And I almost, me, here's an example, right? Of this whole swan bullshit. Three years ago, I would have watched the Sex and the City movie and been like, you know what? Carrie and Big,

Yeah, that's actually the dream relationship. Like they're, they're in game goals, carrying big. They'll always find each other. Like, look, they always knew it was each other. They did it. Now I watch that. I watched them do this fuckery and I'm like, Carrie, stand up. He left you at the altar and you took, you took him back.

That is a relationship on the man's terms. Always, forever. That's what you just betrothed yourself to. A life on his terms. Hope you're happy. Hope you're happy always coming second to fucking him. Oh, I was livid, girl. Three years ago, I would have been like, wow, Carrie and Big, goals, goals. Now, Carrie, be alone. Carrie, move on from fucking Big.

I mean it. When she was dating Petrovsky, whatever the fuck his name was, she was like, Big's calling me. She was deleting the messages off the answering machine. Period. Block his number. I don't know if you can do that in fucking 2010. Block his number. I was starting to get mad. Like, there's really, truly, when you watch a Sex and the City movie, nothing romantic about Carrie and Big. Big is just a psychopath. And Carrie's a fucking psychopath for dealing with it. They're made for each other. Y'all have fun.

Okay, they met up in the, this all, oh, I just, it's so, because I know people in relationships like that. It pisses me off because I'm like, y'all both know what you're doing. You know that what you're doing is childish and it's from a place of insecurity and it's from a place of truly selfishness. Like you don't actually love that person. You

You can give lip service, "I love you, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Sorry doesn't mean shit when it's the 50th time you've apologized for the same thing, which is leaving Carrie out to fucking dry and Carrie crawling back. At a certain point, I start to get mad at Carrie, 'cause I'm like, "You are allowing this to happen to yourself," right? Unless we pull ourselves up and we're like, "I deserve better than this. I'm not gonna settle for this. I don't accept this."

That's when you can actually open the door for something that's meant for you and something that serves you and makes you happy and supports you. But she had that with Aiden and she didn't accept it with Aiden. That's why I say her and fucking pig are made for each other. I started to get so mad.

And Samantha breaking up with her boyfriend, that was sad. Because girl, what are you doing? Like, I get it. I guess it's a different side of the same coin. Like, you have to serve yourself. She was not happy in that relationship. And so she has to serve herself, period. Carrie big though. I started to get so mad. I literally, the movie ends and they're like together. And I literally, I looked at the, I was like, I know I'm supposed to probably be crying. I'm like, yeah, they ended up together in the end. I was mad. The movie ended and I was like, okay, sure.

And Steve and Miranda. Yeah, y'all are made for each other too. Just... Anyway, I am going to watch the second movie. The first movie was good. It was good. Okay, all the Paris stuff, the whatever. Like, it was so... Or no, they were back from Paris by that point. That was the end of the series. The movie was them getting married and whatever. Yeah, it was so fun until it wasn't. Also gave me really big Lisa McGuire movie vibes. So just want to throw that out there. Here is something I wanted to bring up. I will be...

At Reading and Leeds. Yes, I'll be at Reading and Leeds. Am I singing? No. Am I going to be on the ARC stage? Yes. At both Reading and Leeds. I will be with Max Malendi and Charlie Marlow, my Northern Queen. I will be at Reading and Leeds. Come see me.

That is going to be in late August, August 22nd and 23rd, I believe. I will be there. I will be in the godforsaken towns of Reading and also Leeds. And honestly, very excited. I'm very, very excited. I've never been that far north. That's a lie. I've been to Liverpool. But very excited nonetheless. Next up is I've got a new perfume that I'm really, really loving. It's Oud Wood by Tom Ford.

That's my signature scent. I know I love the Maison Louis Marie one, number two, Le Long Fond. That is my favorite perfume ever. Oud Wood is getting up there. Oud Wood sits so nicely on the skin and it really attaches to clothing. Like eight hours later, I'm still smelling like it. I love it.

And okay, now let's talk about what I really wanted to talk about which is Songs of the Week and if you've been living under a rock, let me lift the rock up for you. Song of the Week is "Reign Me In" by Sam Finner and Olivia Deen. Of fucking course it is. Have you heard it? Nothing brave and walking alone. She's so good and she's been opening for him a- Yeah! I love Olivia Deen. Okay.

Wanted to just kind of throw that out there because I've watched that clip probably 150 times It is so damn good and they just released the studio version and the live at the London Is it the Palladium? Where did they where'd they play? It's live in London and They released all these versions of it. I love I'm completely addicted to it The next song is higher ground by Stevie Wonder been listening to that a lot lately get into that. I

Maybe by Janis Joplin. I'm pretty sure that's been on this list before. It's still so good. Also, I'm talking fast because I feel the diarrhea churning in my gut. So I'm kind of gonna, I gotta wrap this up. Next is Killa by Kingfisher. Get into Kingfisher. From the, hold on, let me play it. ♪ To the arms of my mother ♪

Okay, here we go. From, from, from the woods of Glen Bower. From the woods of Glen Bower to the river to soar. To the arms of my mother, to the land of her pure. Sorry. Anyway, love that song.

And who else have I been? Obviously Fontaine's DC is still in the rotation. Skinty Fia by Fontaine's DC, both the album and the standalone song. Some of my, it is one of my favorite projects ever put out. I love that fucking album. I love Romance by Fontaine's DC. I love Dog Roll. I love Hero's Death. All of them. They are so damn good. Green Chattin' is one of my heroes. Like it's gotten to a level that's, I'm about to shit myself. I'll talk to you next week. Bye.

Okay.

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