TRAPPED ON AN AIRPLANE! -You Should Know Podcast-
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Visit prma.org slash middleman to learn more. Paid for by Pharma. The You Should Know Podcast. Hey everybody, welcome back to the You Should Know Podcast, episode 160, round of a plus, please. Hey everybody, welcome back to the You Should Know Podcast. If you're new here or if you haven't already and you look below, you see the subscribe button, is it pressed? You're wrong. If you leave a

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And CVS. Now on to the rest of the episode. The You Should Know Podcast. We got co-host Cam back in the studio. You can't do that. You can't do that. You honestly can't do that. To the people that are watching visually, they saw what you did. You can't do that. That's suggestive, isn't it? And it's Ja Morant. Ja Morant, you just did that. Oh, Ja. Hit it with the...

Hit him with a little Memphis Tuesday. That was the cringiest thing I've ever seen in my life. It was pretty bad. And the fact my shorts are larger than they should be, it made it all worse. You are dressed like a single dad in 2009. A single dad in 2009 that drops his kid off at basketball practice, smokes in his Honda Accord, and then comes back and picks him up. 100%. And you listen to a lot of Vanilla Ice. Yeah.

And Akon, for sure. And you're like, golly, this is a good tune. Is this what the boys are listening to? I was like, man, what's your mama doing this weekend? Because you know we're not together still. Oh, my God. That's what I look like. I'm dressed like that. Gotta get muted for that one. But one of the other things I want to talk about you and your attire and how you look. Now, see, Cam's come back to the studio not as human, but as lizard. Okay, explain it, you...

Don't just tell them I'm a lizard and have them looking at my skin. I don't know if they can see this in the camera, but we're going to... Cam's going up to the camera right now. Go down. He is the scaliest I've ever seen a human being, and he's moisturized today. You should have saw me at the game. Yeah. Okay. Do you want to tell them? No, you go ahead. So basically, we spent the worst weekend of our life in San Antonio, Texas...

The weekend actually wasn't bad. The city's just, it's an awful city. Yeah, let's say that. The city of San Antonio, where they handled and they held the final four. San Antonio is the worst city to ever exist. Shout out to all our San Antonio fans. Your city sucks. There was a lot of love there. We love every one of you. You have the worst major city ever.

In the United States of America. And I'm not kidding. I'm so serious. We spent... Oh, my God. 72 hours in the worst city in America. It was... It was... It got to a point where we both said out loud, in public, I feel like this city is sucking my soul out of me. Yes. I feel like I was losing my connection with Jesus. Oh, my God. As the time went on, I was like, my God isn't here. Like...

This is the real city of sin. Yes, 100%. I honestly, can I make a point? And y'all are going to get mad at me. If you get your mail in San Antonio, Texas, you are beneath me. There's nothing you can do. There's nothing you can do. Oh, my gosh. Do we go? We're not going to say everything that happened. No, you're going to have to tune in.

To the extended episode this week coming out Wednesday. On Patreon. That's where we're going to deep dive into the shits of San Antonio. Yes, but we will tell you a couple of things that happened, right? Because we could literally spend 16 podcasts on this topic. Not just like the history of the deep dive San Antonio. Off of one Friday night to Tuesday morning trip. First of all, the city lives in poverty. Put that out there. Y'all physically don't have it. I did not see too many...

Affluent people or areas in the city of San Antonio. I don't know if it's in state. Victor Wimbinyama is in prison. Oh my God, he's in hell. He's a 19-year-old multimillionaire. Victor Wimbinyama is soon to be a face of a professional sports organization and he lived in Paris. He came from Paris, got so much money and has to spend it in San Antonio, Texas. Anyway, let's talk about... Oh my God. Let's talk about...

The plane ride to San Antonio. That's where things really started off. First of all, shout out to Creator Lee. Shout out to House of Highlights. Thanks for having us. You f***ing lied to me. Yeah, you did. You lied. Absolute liars. We were told...

We're going to get aisle seats. We're 6'7". Yes. We're going to get aisle seats. They said, unfortunately, it was too close to the date. The first class was not available, but we got you aisle seats. Right. That's what it said verbatim in an email. Verbatim. We get to the airport. We go to the kiosk. We put in our flight information to print our tickets. We print our tickets.

Middle seat. Both of us. Right behind each other. Like, lined up. 28B, 29B. Awful. Already, I'm upset. Like, you lied. You lied to me. And I'm big. Like, it's not even like I feel like I deserve more than this. It just honestly is not. No one likes to be lied to. Yeah, lied to and it's not comfortable. I'm too big to do this. So, we get...

We get onto the plane, right? We go to the back of the plane. The dungeon, the caboose of this plane. Lizard. Yeah, there's a lizard. Shooting dice. Smells like a 2008 dirty C&O back there. So, we get... I get to my middle seat, right? I'm sitting down, and the lady to the left of me... God bless her. Honestly, God bless her. But...

Let's be honest here, there was some overlap. Not a problem, not a problem. And I would, I did not care. - Not a problem. - Did not care. It's just what happened. Kim, who's next to you? No, no, no, no, you can't, you can't. Hey, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, okay.

I'll take the ISO. Okay, so Peyton had a woman with some overlap next to him, and I had a man with... No. No, I didn't think you were actually going to say it. Oh, no, I will for us. No, you can't. No. I had a guy... No, no. Okay, there was a guy next to him. Yes. To describe him and how he...

in the real world, what did he do before the flight took off, Cam? Before the tight, before we got to the straightaway to go up in the sky because we're on a plane, two, eight,

18 ounce bottles of Mountain Dew were opened, consumed, and crunched up in the back of his seat back. Two bottles of Mountain Dew he drank before we were in the sky. Smoking two bottles of Mountain Dew before we take off is a sentence. The air marshal should be on him. He should be removed from the plane. They should say, sir, I've never seen that ever. You gotta get out. You can create chemical warfare in your body with two Mountain Dews, right? And then, okay, we're going to San Antonio from Dallas. The entirety of the flight was like 56 minutes.

This man opened like cheddar. It was like cheddar cream cheesy corn nuts. You can wait. 25 minutes in the flight. No one should be allowed to have food on a flight that is not even an hour. It was 56 minutes. And he goes, and I was like, just cheese everywhere. Oh my God, it was disgusting. Now let's go back to my aisle. The woman with overlap. Right? When I say overlap, and I don't care. There's no problem with this. And there's nothing wrong with it.

I couldn't put my left arm down on my rest. That was hers. It's okay, though. You can have it. But... You get that one and the window. But... I'm also big and I was tired and I was like... And tired of the bulls**t. So I wanted to do this. I wanted to put my arm down. And...

There was a point, like, right whenever we were, like, idle, we were taxied. I was trying to put my arm down, and I did, and all I heard was, ow! I said, Jesus Christ. I'm so sorry. I didn't get there. And there's no problem. I'm not making fun of her. There's no problem. It was like this. Ow! He went, oh. And then, okay, so I was like, all right, we're about to take off. We're still taxied. This is another thing.

We were taxied on the runway for like 45 minutes. We could have been in San Antonio. The duration of our flight we spent on concrete. So I was like, okay, I'm just going to start my podcast. I take my AirPods out. As soon as I take my AirPods out to the right of me, I hear, ah! Ah!

Baby's screaming. But it's not even like an infant. Oh, my God. The kid was like two and a half years old. It was to the point you could have a conversation with this kid. You could speak with him. Tell him to, hey, be quiet. And it was one of those parents. Like, we don't discipline our children. They're children. They need to figure it out on their own. We let them express their emotions. F*** their emotions. Yeah. Yeah.

The emotions, you're in an Airbus, you make him be quiet. Period. End of story. So that kid, like not even crying, screaming. Screaming. It genuinely wasn't tears though. That's what was pissing me off. It was like fake. It was like he was just annoyed. He was like, ah! I was like, what the f*** is happening? And so, he's like directly across from me. So I'm like, hell no. I pull out my AirPods, take them out of the case, put them in my ears. As I go to open my phone, I hear...

my airpods die they die i literally text cam and i saw you i saw the back of your head you went all i saw was this threw my hands in the air oh my god it's so that's just a plane ride right that's just a plane ride we almost crashed on the way down like okay

Okay, seriously, that was the hardest landing of all the flights I've ever been on. The hardest landing to hit the ground I've ever experienced in a flight. To the point where the hundred-something passengers in the plane went, oh! Yeah, everyone went, oh! And it was crazy because I remember looking out the window as we were coming down, and I was like, okay, I can see the city, I can see the little grids, and they were getting real close. I'm like, alright, we're about to land.

in like i was playing music but to myself in my thoughts i was like we're getting really close really and then he just hit and i said yeah he smacked it off the ground it's crazy and so i don't want to spend too much more time spent 11 minutes already oh my god on this but what i do want to say is start touching on a couple things that happened in san antonio and you get the full story on patreon like in the description go back and forth just go one line oh god okay uh woman watch the woman on a tree uh

what what what i'm not laughing i'm not laughing at that okay here we go go again uh homeless man walked into a whataburger put a spell on cam dead in front of his face like this uh okay uh my personal bank information got skimmed out of the cvs that was housing cats oh my god keep going keep going charles barkley took my

Okay, I got an excellent. Oh, we met an NBA legend Jalen Rose paid was bleeding from his mouth for no reason a non-contact mouthbleed Oh my god, keep going. Oh, I can't say this on the internet. You're gonna have to you're gonna have to mute this Someone took unsolicited photographs of me and Peyton then once we once we looked at them and confused So much of your your skin

I watched fly. Smoke bomb. I said, that's your defense? I grabbed it. I go, get back. Okay. People took unsolicited photographs of me and Peyton. And once we confronted them about it, the best he could say was this. I literally said, did you eat?

Dude, did that walk off? Okay, there's so much more that happened. Oh my God, it's unbelievable. It was the worst trip ever. We'll get into that on Patreon. The whole city smells like vomit last night. Oh my God. Riverwalk is the worst place ever. Riverwalk is the worst place ever. That's where dreams go to die.

And there's no good food on the Riverwalk. No one sells good food. If you own a restaurant on the Riverwalk, go out of business. Yeah, you are simply there for tourism. Oh, my goodness. You do not take pride in your food or your chefs. Oh, my God. It was the worst. Oh, my God. But shout out to Creator League. Thank you for having us. Love Creator League. Love House Highlights. Great time. Final Four. Crazy Final Four, by the way. We didn't have Creator League. We didn't even watch the last game.

And we're going to talk about our performance in the Creator League on Patreon. I can't talk about it too much now, and I've seen the comments, and they're coming after me. They're talking about Daddy Pretty Bad. I'll explain everything over there on the Koala Club. There we go. The You Should Know Podcast.

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All right. Immediately straight into it. I saw, I was on Twitter. Okay. And I saw a video. Yeah. The Atlanta Hawks had a halftime performance. Right. It was one of those things where the guy, you have to make a layup, a free throw, three-pointer, half-court shot, you get like 30 grand. Okay, awesome. You start at half-court and you have like 30 seconds. Yeah. Well, you start at half-court? Yeah. Like you start, you just dribble up, boom, and then you like work your way back. Oh, so you start at the layup. Yeah. Okay. But he was like starting at half. Okay. Like he had to run up to the layup. So the first shot you have to make is a layup. Layup.

Peyton. What happened? I didn't see this. You didn't see this? No. This fan at the Atlanta Hawks game. They go, everybody cheer him on, cheer him on. Ready, three, two, one, go. He starts running. He tore his ACL. He literally went up for the lift and tore his ACL right there on the court. And he laid down for minutes. They couldn't get him up. And he tore his ACL. That's so embarrassing. That is, okay, two, that's, I bring two points to this.

That has to be. I don't even know anything about that. That is immediately top three most embarrassing things he's ever done. Right. Immediately. And my second thought was, how bad would you be if you had to do a halftime act in front of 20,000 people? Oh, Cam, I couldn't do it. There's nothing I can do great in front of 20,000 people. I can't do anything good. You would be shamed.

shaking, literally pierced out of the shower. Dude, it's like, inside joke. There's literally, whenever I get in front of that many people, my ligaments and my phalanges aren't mine anymore. They're all tied in there. They belong to the ecosystem. Whatever God decides to do with my hands and feet at that moment is what's happening. You're walking out like this, you're literally like, you can't even move them, and all of a sudden it's just like,

That's literally my biggest fear is having to do physical activity in front of a crowd. I can't do that. What if you, okay, here we go though. Right. Hey, you got to pay to play, right? Let me make it sweet for daddy. Let me make it sweet for you. Oh, God. You liked it. Don't lie to me. $500,000 and there's no half court shot. Okay. So you, half a mil. Yeah. Lay up.

Free throw. Three pointer. How much time do I have? You have 25 seconds. Oh, no. I'm not doing it. I'm not going to be able to do that. You wouldn't even try? I would try. I would not succeed. But how hard would you try? Hard. So you would go very hard. I'm already shaking thinking about it. My wrist is getting loose. Yeah, my wrist is getting loose. I can't function like that. I lose strength and mobility. So...

I can't do things in front of large crowds. You literally tighten up. I can't. But half a mil, 25 seconds, everyone's watching. Everyone has the right. They actually signed rights to record you and do whatever they want with it. This is exactly what happened. They'd be like, you be the announcer person that calls me out. Our contestant for today's halftime show is Peyton Hart.

Thank you. Excuse me. Hold on now. Can I grab your mic? I'm going to grab your mic. Now hold on, sir. Excuse me, everybody in the arena today. Can you all please close your eyes? Everybody turn around. I swear to God I'm not going to go until you all close your eyes. No, hold on. That guy, close your eyes. I can't do this. I don't do well. Please or I'm not going to go. LeBron, close your eyes.

LeBron, actually go to the locker room. Go stretch. Go do more rehab. That's exactly what happened. I'd go, sir, you need to give me that. Okay, ladies and gentlemen, so he does not feel confident with you watching. He has told us if you close your eyes that he has a better chance of succeeding. Is everyone fine with that? No, boo, that guy sucks. All right, let's continue. Boom, and bink, go. You fall, you tear your ACL. You are now the new ATL Hawks fan. What the f*** did you just say? ATL Hawks fan.

I abbreviated Atlanta for no reason. No reason. Dude, that's one of my biggest pet peeves. People that speak in abbreviations. Oh, my God. Like the texting abbreviations, but... In real life. When people say IRL? Yeah. He did that IRL. Yeah. Oh, my God. Dude, this is so much better. IRL, go to hell. Like, genuinely, don't go to heaven. Go spin. Don't go there. I don't want to see you there. I don't want you to be there. Dude, honestly. And it's like, dude...

And? No, seriously. Don't go to heaven. You ever had somebody hit you with an LOL? Oh, yeah.

If someone says LOL and they're not laughing, that should immediately start a referee. It should spawn from the ground, and you should immediately be able to fight that person. Oh, my God. LOL. In real life, someone says LOL and they're not laughing? Dude, you're lying. You're lying. I see you lying. You just lied. You might as well sign a paper saying I lied to you. A lot of people hit me with the OMGs. OMG? Shut the fuck up.

Uh, STFU, how about that? Hit it with their own s***! Reverse psychology! No, no, no abbreviations. And we need to bring back Old English. Oh my god. Dude, it's sexy too. We need to bring back pre-Civil War talk. Well, oh no. Well, no we don't. I go, what's up boy?! That's how I greet you on recording days. I had, you know I had to.

No, I think we should. I miss when people talk fancy. I genuinely do miss that. Okay, I know we just talked about this, but imagine. You know what? I'm going to be a grown man. The charisma. What the hell with Riz? Burn. Imagine the charisma. The feng shui. The suave of speaking like that to a lovely broad. Back in the day, a lovely woman. You got your suit on. It's literally 2 p.m. on a Tuesday. You're doing nothing. You're walking the street, but you're head to toe dressed to the nines because they didn't have athletic shorts.

Have you ever thought about that? They didn't have athletic shorts. They didn't have tank tops. Like, every day you woke up, you're putting on full clothes, no matter how hot it was. Like, they didn't have leisure. I never thought of it. They did not have leisure wear. No one had these. No one had a t-shirt. Imagine waking up every morning having to button your t-shirt. To the nines. Like, I'm talking ascot, a tie, an undercoat, an overcoat, a...

He had a horse and a cane every day every day with nothing to do it. I meant nothing to do But hate somebody that looks different than you that's the only thing and your agenda is like they look different We hate that's the only thing you have to do they go That's all it is. Where are they go? That's wrong That's it. Yeah, dude. That's crazy. That's first off, but a man just it'd be so it'd be so sexy Yeah, just risen up someone like that like

The evening's finest breath off the moon's right top. I can't even do it. Okay, show me how you would. Your best. Let's put a year on it. Your best. You can't say pre-tip before you just answer that. Your best medieval riz. Medieval? Isn't that medieval speak? Oh, medieval's a long time ago, but yeah. I'm talking like maybe London like 100 years ago. Okay, what's that time called? Like 1925. Give me your best 1925 riz. Like how would that go?

Oh my god. You're at the local plantation. Where'd they hang out at? It's called a saloon. It's called a saloon. I'm at the local saloon. I'm not on the plantation. I'm not on the plantation. Honestly, in my thing, I wasn't even in America because we wouldn't be talking.

So I'm in London. I'm in London in 1925. No, we couldn't in 1925. Yes, you could. Wait, 1925. Could I? Oh, yeah, I could. Yes, you could have. Depending where you are? Well, it would have been a little rough. Depending where you are. You and me, we would have been boys. We had to write notes. That would have been cool, too, though. I always wanted a pen pal. I had one. She was Asian. See, you say that. She was an Asian. That's kind of hot. I was 13, so that's weird. No, it's not. You didn't like girls when you were 13? You literally had a

You're six. Oh my god, what are you talking about? Okay, okay, best 1925 Riz. Okay, say it one more time. Tell me that I'm in a saloon and I'm gonna get perfect. You're in a saloon in 1925. What's your best Riz? Excuse me, madam. Ma'am. Yes, you. I just want you to know I'd give you my day's wages to take your blouse off. She goes, and then I go, it's 1925.

Come on, come on, meet me halfway. Just meet me halfway. Give me one lick, give me one giggle, one giggle. Okay, run it back. She slaps me, I don't slap her. Well, I gotta figure out what we're doing about that. I don't know if that can go on YouTube. But, obviously, that's a little aggressive. Right. Now the real version, right? Right. I wouldn't know what the... I go, excuse me, what's your maiden, what's your family name?

"What's your family name?" She goes, "What?" I go, "Your family name. Who do you belong to? Who's your ancestors?" What's your highest movie like? What is it? Because I'm looking her up and down. Looking at her blouse and then I'm looking at her ankles, her stockings. She had a lot of chains and jewelry on. I'm looking at her hair. And she goes, "What is your family name? What have they done for our city?" And she keeps looking back and I go, "Blessed be you, gorgeous."

Why don't you go to the dock and shag up a little bit? Would you like that? And then she goes, nope. And then I'm still single in 1925. I don't have roots. I'm out of here. Oh, that was very good. I like your, you've been a creep in every time period. That's what I've learned. You were a creep in every single time period that exists. You, you? Even caveman? Yeah. There's no, there's no like audible words. I'm like. Careful.

Oh man. Oh my god. They didn't have showers back then, did they? They did. They had forms of showers. Okay. Sometimes they would just... Okay. They didn't have showers back then. Not like conventional that we know. Right. There's people... There's people... There's people nowadays...

I did not know the ratio of people that pee in the shower. I pee almost every time in the shower. And I did not know that. The majority of people are like that. Oh, yeah. And I tried it for the first time this morning. It's...

And then, what'd you like? I hated it. The smell. Oh, well you gotta, you gotta, you gotta, okay. Two things. One, that's you. That's definitely you. You can't blame anybody else. That's your urine. Whatever you are ingesting, that's why it smells right. And secondly, you always, tell me you aimed for the drink. Yes. On the drink, but. Yeah, you don't piss on the walls. Some of my old hair was. It was like a mess. It was like an oatmeal of body. No, that is like a small gerbil with s*** in my shower.

Yeah, because I got the front and the back. Look, if y'all would see this man naked, it is... A wonderland. It is something. It's like Candyland. It doesn't make sense. It's not real. It's mythical. It's almost like the Twilight Zone. You don't know if it's scary or fun. And you also don't know if it's real or not. You don't know what's happening. It is the word confusion. When you see him naked, you're confused. You just go, what the f*** is that? You're like...

But I genuinely didn't know the amount of people that pee in the shower. What do you think the number is? Out of 10, just to make it simple. Did you look it up? No, it's just I was talking to people and I was listening to other people talk. And it's been coming up so often. I would say about 80% of people pee in the shower. God, guerrilla marketing, mouth to mouth. It's the greatest. Yes, I would say, dude, you pee in the shower.

Dude, that's disgusting to me. I've never done it. This morning was my first time, and honestly, I did not look at myself in the mirror leaving my bathroom. I was like, who are you? You're a shame, Sid. You're gross. No, that is disgusting. So it didn't feel...

I think it's the accomplishment. No one does it for the aroma, obviously. You don't want to smell urine. No one's like, ooh, urine. But at the same time, it's also like a sensory thing. If you're on the edge of having to pee, but you can hold it, as soon as water hits your body and you're naked, you're going to pee. I pissed all over the Kim Stimson-tas. All over it. No, that's not true because I'm not a toddler. When water hits my body, I'm not like, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

That doesn't happen to me. You know why? I pay taxes. That's why I don't do that. No, no, no, no. I guarantee if you and me chugged, say we chugged a two liter of water.

And you tell me, okay, I'm getting to the point I gotta pee. I guarantee I can make you piss. That's so different. That sounds weird. That's weird, but that's not what we're talking about. Yeah, I would... No, no, no. You said that's... If we're drinking a gallon of water and then... Yeah, you don't have to really do anything. Okay, no... If I'm having a normal day. If I'm having a normal day and it is nighttime and it's time for me to bathe before bed. Yes. It's time for me to get in the shower before bed. Yes. I'm gonna pee before I get in the shower. That's fine. That's fine. That's normal. But...

I'm saying if you did, that's why I said if you're on the cusp, if you didn't fully, you're like, it wasn't enough to go, I should pee. But then you get in the shower and the water hits and now that four turned to like a seven. That's immature. Hmm. I think it's, I think it's skill. I think it's two for one, two birds, one stone. How's that skillful? Cause now I don't, now I'm technically, are you saving water? Oh my God. Oh my God. The frugal man strikes again. I save water cause I piss in my shower. I think it's, no. How's that saving water at all? Cause the shower is going to be on for the same duration, but now I didn't do a flush. Sure.

Got him! Okay, okay, but I've never been an environmentalist. I love the earth, but I'm not gonna pee on myself to save the world. Sorry! Now you would pee on yourself if you got stung by an octopus. Stingray. Jellyfish. Oh my god, wait, octopuses don't even sting! No, they grab. And they suck. Honest to God, do it ten more times and your opinion will change. I swear to God I will never do it again.

See, you're the same man that didn't bathe, and now you're complaining about doing something in the shower while bathing? Yeah. You don't have, like, there's no honesty with you. Do you not understand that that is a little immature? Like, that's wrong and a little immature. That's not immature. Yes, it is. That is not immature. Cam, you're letting the water tickle my back, and then I go, ooh, now I pee. I get that. That might be young. You're pushing 30, and you're not potty trained. Like, do you understand that's weird? Do you understand that's wrong? You understand that? You're 30. You're 30.

I'm saying that. And you're not potty trained. No, I'm not. You act the same as your infant son.

Like, that is nasty. No, sh**. Dude, sneak up on me and surprise me. And I don't get that either. We'll be talking. I'll just be like, oh, I got poop. That's another thing. I don't get that. How can you not... Like, y'all don't have a communication system. You have bad comms with your body. I think because you lived in fear for so long. You were baptized in fear when it comes to pooping and using the bathroom in public that you suppressed your own system so much that you have ultimate control over it now. Like, your system can...

directly obeys you no matter what it is. Mine is its own thing. But there's no way you're just sitting feeling completely fine and then like that you're like, oh no, something's coming out. Yeah. No, that's wrong. It's a big gurgle. It's like a big like just gutturally movement. Oh my God. I have like a two hour build up before I know. Yeah, I know. I have a leeway before I'm exiting. Because you've

It's probably if these are your tunnels, your tubes, your intestines, they're probably like this right now because of what you've done to them. So you can feel it working. My shit is, it'll be here. I got to poop. I don't think you should get the security deposit back in your house if you pee in the shower. That's a fact. And I'm being honest. You know, last thing about the shower, I farted in my shower the other day. Oh, God. That is, boy. No, it is. I was literally, I said.

Help! How? I don't get that, though. What did you say? Help! Help me! I can't see! You know, one time I did it, it was so bad I got out. No, same. I left. I literally stood out and there was water all over my floor. It was visceral. I was soaking wet and I went, oh!

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Now on to the rest of the episode.

Okay, okay. Half of Twitter is. Did you hear about the dire wolf being back? Oh my God. Didn't even know what it was. You never heard of a dire wolf before? Never heard of it. It's like this mythical thing. Never heard of it. I grew up on the dire wolf. I knew what that was. I remember it was this big wolf that was around during the Ice Age era. Of course you did. Yes. So there's like 10,000 years ago, there was this wolf called the dire wolf and it roamed the Americas.

It was there with the woolly mammoths. It was there around that time. Like the Ice Age, like all those. And they went extinct 10,000 years ago. Actually longer than that, like 11,000 to 17,000 years ago, they went extinct. Right? Good God. Come to find out, some scientists made some new direwolves. See, let me tell you how they did it. Please. Right? This biochemist lab had...

Some fossils from direwolves. Got some direwolf fossils. They looked at them on a random Wednesday in March. They said, let's bring out the direwolf. Let's try this. They said, bring me that one. They grab one, right? They grab a skull of a direwolf. 15,000 years old. Straight off the shelf. They literally ripped the barcode off, right? They're starting to sweep on a random Wednesday this direwolf skull and they go, oh my God.

This one's got DNA on it still usable. They got DNA from a 17,000 year old dire wolf bone. Okay. Right. Then they're like, Hey, let's make a new one. Since we got DNA.

Let's go ahead and make a new one. You want to know how they made a new one? How? They took ordinary DNA from gray wolves that are alive now, right? Just regular wolves that are outside. So they stole an animal, first off. They kidnapped an animal in his natural habitat. They were like, hey, we need you to make something better. They said, come here, come here. And they took him, threw a collar on him, said, get this. They said, come here. We need dire wolves. All right. They got that, right? And since they had the DNA from the dire wolf,

They genetically manufactured the gray wolf's DNA to exactly match the dire wolf. Then... This is nonsense. Then they use regular German shepherds as surrogates. Oh, you're kidding me. And now we got two dire wolves and M. Night Shyamalan's holding them. Or whoever that director was. What?!

The people that headed this operation, they need to serve prison time. Prison time. There is no way people believe that the dire wolf is real. The new dire wolf is real. Yeah, there's no way it's back. First off, if it's ever real. Secondly, the fact that you knew exactly what the f*** it was pisses me off and it makes me believe that you did wolf t-shirt Wednesdays. Oh my god, of course I did. Oh my god. Of course I did. Oh my god. Oh my god, I used to howl.

You know, no, like in recess, whenever it would be like a little gray outside out of nowhere, you know how you, you know, but you're, you're, you're real close to a tornado, but it's not really, you know, it's the day starts out sunny, but when you're outside, it automatically just randomly gray there. Everybody was looking at the sky, like, Whoa. And I was like, it's my time to be the center of attention. I did that. You get to the top of the slide. Every kid's like, wait, what the heck? They turn around. You're like, Oh,

The top of the slide. Dude, I convinced at least one or two of those dumb kids. One of them still believe it. Papa, there's a werewolf in my class. I've seen it. Yeah, 100%. Idiots. Back to the fake wolf. Back to the fake dire German shepherd wolf. So you don't believe the dire wolf reincarnation is real either? There's no way. I'm a friend of science, I guess. I like seeing cool things. That sounds like horror.

it's so how why took a real wolf we took old wolf dna then we took a dog threw it in a blender now we have a species that hasn't been here in 10 000 years yes and then they're talking about the characteristics of them they said they're shy from humans they do look just like the dire wolves but honestly it's 3d printed or something ai it's i don't know what it is but somebody got real bored someone got really bored in that

He's literally a Saint Bernard. That is a regular dog. They're gonna sell it as this. There's gonna be a new museum for him. They're gonna be on the front of Time Magazine. You're... Direwolf is on the front of Time Magazine.

And it says extinct. It's crossed out. It's a money. It's a month. They're money. It's the new dinosaur. Oh my God. It's the new dinosaur. They're money grabbing. They're money grabbing. So I'm telling you, I've had this. I've had this conspiracy since I was a kid. The dinosaurs weren't real. They're money plays for museums, for movies, for toys. I like it for TV. That's why they invented the dinosaur. But now we've been doing that for a hundred years.

We gotta innovate. Let's throw some furry shit in there. No, I'm saying we gotta innovate. Let's actually bring the dinosaurs. Let's create these dinosaurs. You know what I mean? Bro, you know that they were saying they were gonna, like, do the same shit with woolly mammoths? Yes, they're gonna, because they were around the same time. Okay, but do we have woolly mammoth bone? Apparently it's the same shit with the dire wolf. No, they don't. They have usable DNA that they're going to impregnate an African elephant in a woolly mammoth. Now, why do they gotta make it black? Leave my...

Don't say it. Don't say it. Y'all make it a white elephant. Make it a polar bear. They're going to impregnate a Boston elephant. He's like, meh. Yankees. But same. And apparently the birth, first off, it would suck to be a female elephant. I'm going to say that. Why? Their carrying phase of pregnancy, I think, is like 18 months. A year and a half. Oh, so it's double human. Double. But they're double the size, so that makes sense. Oh, they're way more than double. Triple. Triple.

Can you imagine being an elephant? No. I can't either. They don't have too much meat, do they? Like, you put a horse and an elephant. Now, size to ratio. Size, elephant wins. That's why I never wanted big thighs. It's like the depth perception is important. Depth perception is important. You know what I mean? Exact same. Monster quads, skin and bones. He's hanging. That's what it is. Well, 100% the dire wolf is bullshit.

It's bulls**t. They're grabbing money. Yeah. And I have a fun thing to go off what you said. Okay. I don't think dinosaurs were ever real. I think they were dragons. Why do you think that, Cam? Oh my God, he came to play. Thanks, Bubba. They're dragons. Why do you think that? Because all four corners of the Earth's... Next! Popcorn. All... Rewind. All four corners...

Are you making me nervous? Who did you just talk to? Who the f*** am I losing? He looked at the mannequin and he started asking him questions. I said, are you making me nervous? Okay. All four corners. Is this real? Yes! It's something with the R's and the O's. Dude, there's more skin peeling. If the...

All four corners of Earth. There we go. Earth is round. Yes, but that's a saying. No, it's not. Yes, it is. It's a saying. Basically, all different societies, civilizations, there's drawings of dragons. Okay.

There's drawings of dragons. There's no drawings of dragons in Texas. There's no. Okay. Texas. What are the core corners? I'm saying all like from your, it's a saying. Yeah. But what does that mean? Like, so I've never seen a dragon all around the world. Like in ancient, like German, German, Germanic, like Celtic traditions. There's depictions of dragons. Ancient German traditions are not something we should go off of. If we're being honest, they had a rough little time period. If we think about it, it's not something we should completely sell to, you know what I mean? We,

We should just buy into that one. I think that's what got them in trouble the first time is just completely buying in. They're like, yeah, that makes sense. Like, you know what I mean? Like, that's awful. Let's just follow Zalita. One step too far.

Yeah, dude. I don't really want to talk about dragons. No, we're not. No, we're not. No. I buried myself. You buried me. It's done. Oh, my God. Speaking of things that, you know, dinosaurs and stuff we learned about as children, which is dumb and not true. That's why they're not a part of our history classes. Dragons. Dragons weren't a part of our history classes either. Ancient Chinese calendar. 8,000. I never learned Chinese in school. You never even met the year of the dragon, year of the monkey. No. Year of the...

So many other animals that had years. But it's a real thing! Yeah, sure. It is! Yeah, I know. And it's- so why would they have 12 real animals and one fake one? Okay, name three fruit. Name three fruit? Yeah. No, don't do that. Exactly. Apples, bananas, oranges. Boom. Apples, bananas, oranges. Yeah. I go, nope. Alright. Okay. So, when we were young, stupid things. No, I am gonna confess something that I did whenever I was a kid. Other than me being a wolf. And that's a fact.

My senior year of high school. What? That was eight years ago. Not a kid. You were a grown man. No, I wasn't grown. Pierce isn't a grown man. You did things that were illegal. You drove a car and you made love. That's a grown man. I didn't pay taxes. The only thing you didn't do was pay taxes. Okay, so I was a senior in high school. And this is 100% a true story, right? We had this thing, like, I don't know what it was. It was like a senior bash or something. Like, the end of the graduation where it was like,

The whole school goes to the theater and seniors put on like, you volunteer to put on like, it's a talent show basically. Oh God. And you go up there and you try to do something and you're asked who rocked, right? We had kids sing. We had kids that danced. We had kids that, what else can you do really? Sing and dance. They're like juggling or something. Yeah, like that. And you're 18. And we had actually like great singers at my school, like ended up getting record deals. Like they're great singers. Yeah. Good dancers too that are like professional dancers now.

I always wanted to show the school I had something else other than basketball. This was my East High, Troy Bolton, you know. Last dance. I'm breaking free. Right? I'm soaring, I'm flying. And in my mind, in my mind, I was going to have that moment where everybody was like, oh, my God, Peyton's up on stage. But then, we're breaking free. And then we go.

Goes bananas. In my lab coat. So, but I can't sing. I knew that I couldn't sing. But one thing I always did at my family parties was magic. And I'm not potting right now. I'm not potting. You had better be...

lying you have you've got to be lying well this is what happened i was like i gotta figure out because i can do hand i can do head up magic like one-on-one i can get you i can put lipstick on your palm i can change your card i was working on reading minds i couldn't get that one i could barely figure out what's going on on my own but i had to learn a trick that could get like 700 people

And I was like, I don't have the production that can do this. Or the funding. So I asked my principal, I said, hey, I want to do magic at the show. And actually, no one knows this. Like, not even any of my classmates. So I went to my principal, Mr. Garcia at the time. What's up, dog? I said, hey, man, I'm trying to do magic. And he goes, okay, cool. Like, you got to vet what you're going to do. Like, don't set anything on fire. And I was like, oh, no, no, no. That's magic. I'm a real magician. Woo!

Those are illusions. I do magic. So I was like, I need a camera and a big screen. And I was going to do like a Promethean board, like, or like, you know, the little lamp things where I was going to do the card trick on the screen with a camera pointing down. Everybody could see in the theater. And he said, Peyton, we barely had money for our art department this year. Burn in hell.

and get out of my office. So I didn't end up doing that. But that's something I wanted to get off my chest because I saw it in my Google Docs the other day. I saw it in my high school Google Docs and I was writing out my show. Peyton, first off, that alone is an incredible story and I was crying laughing. The imagery in my mind of you asking a grown man, can I do magic? I want to do magic. Thank you.

An 18-year-old Peyton. Right. When you're about to go be a collegiate athlete. Oh, yeah. School is fully paid for. And you want to do magic for 700 people. Yeah. I still want to. You are a literal, literal one-of-a-kind human being. I haven't pitched this to you yet, but we are going on tour. Tickets available now. Link in the bio. Do I do it now on tour? Do we have Peyton's magic set?

Peyton's magic set. You gotta get vetted again? We gotta make sure this shit lands. I'm not gonna go out there and you dud the show and everyone's like, what the fuck? And you're just like, it's been a couple years. Pierce, hit that song! You just turn to dancing. Yeah, I'm like, I'm gonna take my shirt off. Pierce will get a mad one. I go, oh god. That would be lit though. It would be. Can I do the toothpick trick? Oh yeah. Look.

People only, if you had a magic book, they only understand. This episode is brought to you by our good friends at Booking.com, Booking. Yeah! We're about to go on tour this summer all across the United States. Everywhere in the United States, everywhere. We already know exactly who we're going to use when we're looking to get that perfect, perfect, just right for a stay. That's Booking.com, Booking. Yeah! They have an unbelievable variety of options.

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You've always had this weird thing with not eating candy and not having a sweet tooth after meals. I hate that. I still don't. Okay, but you literally just had chocolate 10 minutes ago. 10 minutes ago you ate a chocolate bar. That's not candy. It's more of a snack than anything. Chocolate? A chocolate bar is a snack. Chocolate's not candy. No. Chocolate. Chocolate's not candy. No. So Halloween, people are...

All of America and other parts of the world are passing out snacks. They're not passing out candy. They're passing out snacks. Just because you give it away on Halloween, that makes it candy? Yeah, that means it's candy. It's literally Halloween. Okay, no. See, that's just a feature point. If I have razor blades in my food, that's not candy. You're literally looking me in the eyes and telling me you think chocolate is not candy. No. You're not being sweet. Candy's gummy and sweet. Okay. Okay.

I know you don't like these hierarchies, right? And these chain of commands and these trees of life. I hate when you explain things with so many words. Hey, don't. Dude, no, no, no. No, no, no. You're going to start talking to me with fewer words. Candy, gummies, chocolates. Over.

Done. What are Pop Rocks? Candy. That'd be in the gummy section. Okay, okay. Whoa! Okay, gummy, hard candy, chocolate. Hard candy, gummy, candy, chocolate. Now you're being confusing. Okay, stop and slow down. What are you saying? There's candy, and a part of candy, chocolate, is literally like half of all candy. Okay, what's a snack? What would you consider a snack that's sweet that's not candy? Fruit. Fruit is a sweet snack that is not candy. What is fruit? Healthy. Healthy.

Fruit. Is fruit healthy? Relatively. So is chocolate. Chocolate is healthy for... Oh. Chocolate is healthy for you. By the scientist. Okay, if... I want you, Mr. Health Nut, to consume chocolate every day and let's see how healthy you are. Let's see how healthy you become. Okay, my grandma is 94 and she sips red wine every day. Is red wine healthy for you? Yes, in small portions. And what do you eat red wine with? Steak. And chocolate. No, you...

Yes, you do. It's part of the charcuterie. What kind of a crazy meal is your 90-year-old grandma having every day? I don't know, but we need to eat it. She's like, give me a T-bone red wine and a chocolate bar. Okay, chewy granola bars. What is that? A snack or candy? That's a snack. There's chocolate in it. Exactly. There's chocolate chips in it. So you're saying there's candy inside of a snack? The identity of a granola bar is not candy. It is snack. Cam, what?

They have granola bars that are coated in chocolate. Is that candy? You said granola bars that are coated in chocolate. That is still a granola bar. They're making it better. They're making it sugary for the kids so the parents can spend money. No, but it's not. Chocolate is not candy. It's a snack. Candies are candies are Jolly Ranch's, Pop Rocks, Hard Candy, Hard Candy, Gummy Worms, Soft Candy, Licorice,

Depends how old they are. Hard or soft candy. What? I was saying it was hard or soft. Licorice, I've had some hard licorice. But that's candy. Yes. Chocolate is a snack. It's hearty. Okay, hearty meal. It's a hearty meal. It's hearty. No, it is not. Chocolate is hearty. You literally are saying the only two examples you've given me is a...

First off, you're strangely obsessed with granola bars. You keep saying granola bars. I said it once. You said it twice. You said there's chocolate in granola bars and chocolate submerged granola bars. Okay. Take granola bars out of the equation. Just chocolate. Okay. Like Reese's, that's candy. Twix, candy. Snickers, candy. Three Musketeers, candy. Milky Way, candy. Those are candy bars. And they're chocolate. No. They're literally like- No, they have chocolate in them. No, no, no. It is like 90% chocolate with other things in it. No, there's nougat, chocolate.

Exactly. There's nuts. That's the 5-10%. Okay, but if I eat a straight up chocolate bar, just straight, the purest chocolate, the purest cut line, it's not uncut chocolate. If I get uncut chocolate, that's candy. That's a snack.

If I get a bag of chocolate, it's a bag of snack. It's a snack a bag. Chocolates and chips are the same category. No, they're not. Chocolates and chips are the same thing. No, they're not at all. Why? If you go to a concession stand and it says candy $4.50, you hold up a Snickers, how much is it going to cost you? Because it's a candy bar. It's not costing. It's a candy bar. That's not a chocolate bar. That's a candy bar. I just f***ed them.

That's a candy bar, not a chocolate bar. It is 90% chocolate. But it is a candy bar. Meaning chocolate is candy. Listen, what are three Musketeers under? Chocolate bars or candy bars? Answer it. It's all under candy. You're saying it's not candy. You're screwing yourself. No, listen to me. It's all under candy. You're so red and you're looking a little racist. It's all under candy. Look at me. All under candy. Calm down and listen and internalize what I'm saying. Three Musketeers, Snickers, and Twigs. Those are candy bars. Yes or no? Yes. Are Hershey's

Is a what? Candy bar. It's a chocolate bar. That is a candy bar. No, it is a chocolate bar. It's a different name. What else can you call a Snickers? What other category can you call it? Candy chocolate. No, you can only call it a candy bar, the item. You can only call a Snickers a candy bar. It is chocolate. You're just saying words to me. You're just saying words. What is it? You can only call a Snickers a candy bar. Yes or no? Yes. Or a Snickers. Exactly. The brand name.

I'm saying what the thing is. Yes, candy bar. A Hershey's, you can only call it what? Candy bar. A Churros.

You can't call it a chocolate bar? You can call it a chocolate bar. Because it is a chocolate bar. Because it's a bar of chocolate, which is healthy for you, which is a snack, and it's the same as a chip. Then why is it sold in the f***ing candy aisle next to the restaurant? It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's genuinely not. It's genuinely not. You're lying to me in Christ. I'm not. A Hershey's bar is not. It's in the same, it's in the same amount as the chips. When you go to Target to buy your gallon water, your trash bags, and your weird utensils, and you go to the exit, right, and you're checking out, and you turn to your right, there's not a Hershey's bar right there,

next to everything else what in the candy section they have at the checkouts for people to get sweet tooths and impulse buy at the very end you know what else they have there beef jerky dump all with the candy in the same keg in the same it's all right it's all right there on the same shelf okay then let's do this mr semantics if you go to the candy aisle can you buy a hershey's on it no you're lying oh my god you're lying no it's in the chip aisle oh my god it's it's in the chip aisle what's the difference between a chip and a candy

What's there's been a chip in a candy? What's the difference? One's sweet. One's made to be candy. One is based around sugar. One is not. One is potato. You can get chocolate. Starch. Salty. Can you get chocolate without sugar in it? Can you get chocolate without sugar in it? Answer me. No. Okay. And whenever I get this right, I want you to kneel before me. So you can get candy without sugar in it too. But you just said candy. No.

Chocolate is candy. Chocolate is candy. You said it's sugar. I'm using what you said. It's sugar. It's candy. It's what you said. Watch this chat. Can you get a sugar? I can't spell. Can you get a sugar free chocolate bar? Can you get a Hershey's zero sugar chocolate?

Top 10 best sugar-free chocolate bars of 2025. Since we're using Google. Kneel before thy name. Since we're using Google. Kneel before me. Since we're using Google, you should simply look up is chocolate candy. No. Oh, that's weird. Because I want the comments to say what they have to say. Chocolate is 100% candy.

It's wrong. You're wrong. And I hate to be you in 2025. Genuinely? Genuinely? Like, if I had a genie and I were you, I'd say, I don't want to be Cam in 2025. Because I'm losing. You actually looked me in the eye and said that Hershey bars are not on the candy aisle. No. But you're lying. You're choosing to lie right now. Flour is in the spice section.

Is flour a spice? First of all, flour's not in the spice section. Where the f*** do you shop? Flour's on the baking aisle. With flour. Okay, okay. There's a whole section of flour. Flour, flour, and ice, and flour, flour and cake icing are in the same section, right? Are they both the same thing? They're on the same aisle. Exactly. So just because something's on the same aisle doesn't mean it's the same thing, so shut up.

God, you can't. God, I work too hard. Chocolate's candy. 100%. Please, God, if y'all let me lose this, if you let me lose this, you just don't love me, you love him more. That's it. Question chocolate's candy. Speaking of chocolate, genuine question, though. Don't understand how chocolate is made. Have you ever thought about that? Where are we getting this chocolate from? I know there's cocoa and there's cacao. What? Cocoa. Beans. And then what was the second one you said? Cacao. Cacao.

Cows? Cacao. It's like C-A-C-A-O. I thought it was like a cow with a stutter on it. It was like moo moo moo. Moo moo moo moo. That thing would have some strong beef. Instead of milk, you just eat milk in the... You thought I was saying cow with a stutter. Moo moo moo moo. That's starting to get bad. I said cow. No, I haven't said it for a little bit.

You did not have a stutter. Yeah, I did. You did not have a stutter. No, but it's because one of my closest friends had one. And you know when you get around for somebody? No, no. Is this too much? No. I was relating with you. One of my friends had a stutter and I tried to stutter on purpose to make him feel more included. No, that's strange and wrong. And your mom should have taught you better.

But I did it outside of my house. I never told her about it. My friend would stutter in front of me. But I was young, though. It was all out of a genuine heart. No, yes. Everything, because we were kids. Everything was genuine. He would stutter in front of me, and he felt bad, so I'd go, no problem. And I would do it back to him to try to make sure everything was good. To try to make him feel... I don't know. Yes. I don't know. I don't know if it can. Yes, it can, okay? It can. But...

No, but you know like whenever you're around somebody long enough, you get like their laugh. You pick up their traits. No, like you're around your friends long enough, you start to pick up their laugh. Yeah. It was like the same thing. Like so I got a little bit of one like just being around him for so long because he's like genuinely like one of my close friends. And so I started to stutter a little bit too. Like we were around each other every day. But how much is a little bit? Just like when I'd be around. Like a couple times a day or like a couple times a conversation? Day. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

What was I saying? Cows. Okay, but generally, where does chocolate come from? That's a hell of a question. Like, I know, okay, it's a bean. It's a bean. Right? And then, now, after that is basically where my knowledge starts. Like, how does a bean turn into a beautiful Hershey kiss? Oh, my God. I don't know. I don't know. And there's no crunchy nut in my chocolate. No, that's what I'm saying. Unless I get the almond version. If you do that...

golly, you need, you're just not, you're not living life. You're not living correctly. If you buy almond chocolate, you're not living correctly. Yeah, your house needs wellness checks. Yes, 100%. Someone's in your basement. But, I don't, that's a beautiful question. Never understood it. How do you think it works? If you had to guess. They had, what do you, is it like a melting down? Obviously. Like fairy. Yeah, they're like,

Yeah. Never understood it. And it's just so strange to me, all the variations of chocolate we can have and have that much of it. Because you've never... I've never been to a store that didn't have chocolate in it. Ever. You can go to Dick's Sporting Goods. You can buy a chocolate. 100%. Everywhere you go, chocolate. Okay. Oh, my God. Episode gave me anxiety. Is cho... Oh, my God. Is chocolate like...

Kind of like a new age and more mainstream dinosaur. What do you mean? Like ultimate money grabber. It's everywhere. You just proved a point. You can go anywhere and you can buy chocolate. But chocolate's real. No. Well, yeah. The big part of it is there. No, it's there. But it's...

Why is it everywhere? Because it's not real. It's everywhere. Maybe it's not real. Maybe we're not eating chocolate. Look, what is chocolate? That's what I'm saying. What is the father of chocolate? That's what I'm saying. And you just said there's so many different kinds. Exactly. I know paper is from trees. We go outside, which I'm still iffy on. Yeah. But honey is from bees. I know where that comes from. Yes. Who's the chocolate daddy? Where are they reproducing the chocolate from? It's the beans, the cocoa beans and the cacao. And now from there- Stop saying that. I don't know.

I know there's some milk in it, right? I don't know. And there's so much milk out there. And how's our white chocolate? I know those beans aren't white. We just met white chocolate. We did. White chocolate coached me. He's a cool guy. But there's white chocolate. There's brown chocolate. First off, who decides the level of the dark? Have you ever seen that? Probably y'all. Y'all started that whole thing a couple years ago. That was probably y'all.

There's like percentages on the dark chocolate. It's like this is 80% dark chocolate. Yeah, dude. There's certain dark chocolate that I don't like. I agree, but I don't like dark chocolate. Of course you do. Shut up. I got you. I just said it.

I'm not even kidding. Chocolate is, I would argue, chocolate is one of the most accessible things ever. Yeah, and we don't know where it's from. Bro. Somebody find that out. Anybody work at the chocolate factory? Why is Charlie? Yeah, where's Charlie, too? This episode is brought to you by our friends at...

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You know, I saw this thing on Twitter. I'm just going to ask you straight up as it is. It's a scenario. Okay. Okay. You have to take a third grade math exam that is three hours long. No. Yes. I don't have that much time. Okay. Caveat. You have to score 96% or higher. Right? If you score 96% or higher, you get a million dollars untaxed. Oh, God. Immediately. Immediately.

If you don't score 96% or higher, life in prison, no questions asked. No questions. I got to get my butt ready. I'm not passing it. Oh, if you got thrown into this room, you got kidnapped. You're thrown into this room. They go third grade math for three hours. We give you a million dollars or you go to prison for life. Oh, I don't know. 96% or higher. Genuinely, I don't know if I would pass a third grade math test. Brother, it's third grade. Should we try it? You're eight. Should we try it?

You want to try third grade math? I want to see if I'm going to get a million dollars or life in prison. I do want to see how I do. Let's try it right now. All right, you want to see if you're going to get a million dollars or if you're going to spend the rest of your miserable life in prison? Here we go. Okay. Third grade math. Miss Winkler, this is for you. So 96%. I don't know what that is. I'd be willing to, I would venture to say if you miss one of these questions, you failed. I'm going to fail. Because we're only going to ask maybe no more than 10. Okay, let's go. We're going to ask very small. Here we go. You and your mom go to see a movie. What?

I love these questions already. I've never seen a movie with my mom. What? I've never been to a movie theater with my mom. What? She doesn't like movies.

Oh my God. Crazy side note. Crazy stat. Here we go. You and your mom go see a movie. The movie starts at 6.45. I hate the 45s. The quarters and all that. I've never been good. The movie lasted for one hour and 15 minutes. Which time is the closest to the time the movie ended? Wait, what time did it start? It started at 6.45. It's an hour and 15 long. 8 o'clock. 8 o'clock is correct. There you go. Thank God it was two fives because it makes 10. I remembered that. I remember that from third grade.

That stressed me out. I still have my freedom. Samuel bought six... Now what are you going to say about my dog, Sam? I hate that name. Just say Sam. Samuel... Sam. Samuel bought seven bags of apples. So many S's. Each bag... Too many S's. Say different words. You go, they're intentionally trying to confuse these children. Seven Sams and six... Samuel bought seven... Seven Sams and six in a sally wagon. Here we go. Seven... Damn it, you got me confused. Samuel bought seven sacks of apples...

How many apples were you eating each sack? Seven- Samuel bought seven sacks of apples. Each sack of apples contained six apples. God! How many apples are there total? Seven times six. Yes. Can I get a paper? You're- you're- No, it's- I've always had problems with eights and sevens. You're about to go to prison. You're about to go to jail forever! Seven times six is really great, 'cause seven times six is forty-eight. There's a rhyme, right? Seven times six... You're gonna f*** me.

Oh my God. I'm theirs in jail. I'm going to be theirs. I'm going to belong to some man. Here we go. Seven times six. Five, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35, 35 plus seven, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42. You see how I got there though? You see how I got there though? You see how I worked that out, Teej?

I mean, you need no white boy. Why was that the top? A lot of s*** in my neck just popped. Hey, we're good. Here we go. Simply solve the equation. Stop with the s***. Stop it. It's literally written like that. I'm not adding words. It said Samuel bought seven sacks of apples. And he had six sacks. Sorry.

Simply solve the equation. 32 divided by 8. Are you kidding me? Wait, 6 times 8 is really great because 6 times 8 is 48. No. But what is his thought process on that? 8 times 4 is 32.

Okay, so 32 divided by eight four. There you go. We're rocking. We're rolling. I was getting the groove whenever tunes get involved. That's how they used to have to teach me. That's how they taught me my name. We're rocking and rolling. What? Pay in and they're like, it's a whole thing we had to do. Anthony, get me out of my diapers. You were at six. Don't just suck your dirty bitch. And I'll be like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't just suck your dirty bitch. And I'll be like,

I'm going to the toilet off that song. Here we go. At six years old? Yeah. All right. Hey, you're still good so far. I'm still good. I'm still good. I'm not in jail. You're not in prison yet. Here we go. Yet. A teacher bought 18 red markers and six boxes of blue markers. Each box had 10 blue markers. What was the total number of markers the teacher bought? Too much information. You've got to say that again a lot slower. My brain could definitely not...

She buys 18 red markers. Okay, 18 red markers. 18 red markers. She buys six boxes blue markers. So she didn't buy boxes of the red ones. She bought solo packs of reds, 18 numbers. She bought six boxes. You're not helping. 18 red. So she just bought 18 individual markers. Yes. But then she decides to go with the packs of blues. Yeah.

She's just being difficult. Who buys 18 loose markers? And she's doing that to make your life possibly go to prison. Genuinely, who buys loose markers? I don't even know how you do that. Who sells one marker? It's like the DVDs in the middle of Walmart. You go, the $5 movie box. She buys 18 red markers. Individuals. Individuals. 18 red markers. Six boxes of blue markers. How many are in a box? Each box contains 10 blue markers. Okay, so she has 18 plus 10 markers. She has 28 markers at this point. Keep going.

keep going how many markers does she have total 28 markers oh my god you're going to prison no no oh my god wait no you're going to jail no say it again a teacher bought 18 red markers right she has 18 markers and she bought six boxes of blue markers each box has 10 markers in it oh 60 so 60 blues 18 reds 78 markers he's a free man again he's a free man

Oh, snap for me. It's in a jazz club. Final question to determine if you're going to prison or if you get a milli untaxed. Third grade math. God. A jar is full of nickels and dimes. Careful. A jar is full of nickels and dimes. How big is a jar? It doesn't matter. There's 368 nickels in the jar. Okay. 368 nickels. Careful. There are 109 more dimes than there are nickels. Okay.

How, what is the total number of nickels and dimes in the jar? 368. 368. Yes. There's 368 nickels. Do you want a whiteboard? Yes. Give me that one. 368 nickels. Hurry up before I lose it. Give me that one. Give me that. No, don't throw. Three, okay. Before I forget, you smell like baby urine. No, this thing's so hot. So there's 368 nickels. Nickels. 368 nickels. 368 nickels. 368 in. 368 in.

And there's 109... Quarters? Dimes. Dimes. No, no, no. I'm so sorry. There's 368 nickels. There's 109 more dimes than there is nickels. How many total nickels and dimes are in the jar? And we're looking for how many... We're looking for how many nickels and dimes there are. That's what we're trying to find. Yeah, we're looking for Indy. Easy. Easy. He started tapping. He said...

So I'm going to read it one more time. No, no. Your voice confuses me and it stresses me out. Okay. That's fair. So there's 368 nickels and there's 109 more dimes. So let's do that. Let's do 368 plus 109. 4, 6, 17. That's right. 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16. Wait. 17. 4,617. 4,617 total quarters. 416,000. What?

416... 41617 nickels and dimes. That's a big jar. You're going to jail. No, no. Okay. No, it confused me because I was writing upside down. 368 plus 109. I don't think you can do that. Oh, it's because I went backwards. Yeah, I don't think you can do that anymore. I thought you forgot the fine art of that. 17. Carry that. 7. 477. That's your final? Is it? Here we go. No. Okay. Okay.

You get one last read through. And so we're done with 109 now. Correct. Okay, so we have all our numbers. So 368 dimes. 368 nickels, right? Yeah. We got 109 more dimes. That means there are 477 dimes. 4,000 wasn't even close. So 477. 7 plus 8 is really great because 7 plus 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 15. 6 plus 7, f*** me. Oh, no, I could just do 7 plus 7. That would be 14. Okay.

Put that there. Four plus four, that'd be eight. I'm trying to see if we're done with everything. 845 nickels and dimes. Ladies and gentlemen, wherever you are sitting right now, stand up. Fuck up and congratulate him. He's not going to prison. He's a free man. He's a millionaire. 845. Let's go. I told you you could do it. Now imagine, literally imagine two hours and 45 minutes more of that.

Now we're talking prison time. Now we're talking jail. Dude, they put some hormones in the kids' milk nowadays. They're getting there? Oh, they 100% do. Those kids are sipping HGH fresh off the wake-up. You know what I thought about the other day? What? I could literally shut you down with a bowl of cereal and an ice cream sandwich. How?

Shut you down. I could end you. I could end you with an ice cream sandwich and a glass of milk. And you would literally be unhabitable. You'd be dead on the ground. I could end your life. I genuinely had that thought the other day. I was driving. Because I'm lactose? Because you're super lactose. Yeah. If I faked you out, if I hit a little crossover, and I said, ice cream sandwich, glass of milk, you'd be done. Oh my god, that'd be so bad. You'd be like... And that proves that chocolate is not a candy. An ice cream sandwich. What? What's ice cream sandwich?

Ice cream sandwich. Ice cream. With what else? You think that's chocolate on the outside of an ice cream sandwich? You think that's actual chocolate on the outside of an ice cream sandwich? Yes. I don't know which one of us is more stupid right now. Kim, what is on the outside of an ice cream sandwich? What's the bread part of the ice cream sandwich? What's the sandwich part? Oh, what's the bread part? What did you say? What's the bread part? What?

You think that's just hard chocolate. And it's magically fluffy. It's fluffy chocolate. There's different variations of chocolate. It's like a graham cracker chocolate. It's like a chocolate graham cracker. Am I dumb? A chocolate. If it's a chocolate graham cracker, it's not chocolate. It's chocolate flavored graham cracker. You said it's chocolate. No, it's chocolate. Just design. Oh, just airy and fluffy. Yes, it's airy chocolate. It's like a muffin. Chocolate muffin. Chocolate muffin. Chocolate's not a flavor. Chocolate is a thing.

And that thing is candy. Chocolate is a sweet candy.

No, stay on what we're saying. What is on the outside of an ice cream sandwich? It's not chocolate. What is it? What flavor is that? I don't even know. No, it's flavored chocolate, but it's not chocolate. Chocolate isn't a flavor. Chocolate is a flavor. No, it's not. You can't get chocolate flavored something. You're either getting chocolate or you're not getting chocolate. There's no flavor chocolate. That's not true. Kim, that's 100% a fact. You're going to piss me off at the end of the episode. You're going to piss me off. There's literal chocolate syrup. There's chocolate milk. And what is chocolate syrup? There's chocolate milk. That's chocolate. There's chocolate milk. Because what's in it?

Chocolate flavoring. No, it's chocolate is in there. It's melted chocolate and milk. You've been so lied to. You've been so deceived. You think the bottles of the Hershey's syrup. Yes, because what is Hershey's? You think they took their chocolate bars, just threw them in a microwave, and then packaged it as syrup. I'm not sure what the meltdown process was, but yes. Chocolate is not a flavor. Talk to me.

You think that chocolate syrup is 100% chocolate and just melted down. I'm asking you a question. Chocolate is not a flavor. Chocolate is a thing. That concept right there is awful, what you're saying. There's things and then there's flavors of those things. Is ketchup a flavor? Is ketchup a flavor? Yes.

Ketchup is a condiment, but there's ketchup chips. Some of those Japanese Doritos. There's literally a ketchup version of it. That's like onion. Onion is a vegetable. There's onion flavoring. There's nothing. Onion flavor. Sour cream and onion. There's nothing chocolate that's labeled chocolate something that does not have chocolate in it. Because chocolate is an ingredient. You can use chocolate in anything. Everything's an ingredient. That's not true.

What is not an ingredient that you could use in something? That you can use in everything? First off, you could put chocolate in anything. You could put chocolate in meatloaf and it'd be good? It'd suffice? No. Then don't say that! I'm saying that anything that is used for. Chocolate is not a flavor and you're pissing me off. I really don't want to be friends. I'm not going to your funeral. Before you get to graduation. Chocolate, do it.

He just hates chocolate. He's vanilla vanilla vanilla Don't say that nothing too dark. Oh, yeah, I tried to give Malachi a chocolate bar. It came was like get that away from him Okay, and then I can't have teeth and we'll because of anything and then round noise and then can't went into his diaper bag pulled out the Biggest vanilla platter I've ever seen he's like son look this color good get us out here

All right, everybody. Appreciate you coming back. Episode 160 of the You Should Know podcast. He's insane. I'm a lunatic. And you are all crazy as well. We absolutely love you. Biggest announcement, most important announcement is the tour is finally here. All of the tickets are out. All of the tickets are available now. They are selling very rapidly. I hope. Oh, I do too. But if you want to get that...

Youshannostudios.com. All the links for the different cities are there to go grab your tickets right now. We cannot wait for the tour. It's going to be amazing. It's going to be incredible. Or you can just click the link at the top of the description. It's right there, too. The tickets are right there if you're on YouTube. Or if you are driving or whatever, just wait until you get home. www.youshannostudios.com. Boom. Also, in both of our bios on Instagram, it is there.

It's very easy to find. Go find it. Get your tickets. Lastly, our Koala Club members, they have already bought their tickets. They've had their tickets for about a week now. They always get first access to any and everything we do because they are in the Patreon. We love them. If you want to join that amazing family, that is also in the description. We absolutely love our Koala Club members. Also, merch is available. If you're on YouTube, you can just click the merch down here below. There's tour merch, and you'll get it in time before the show so you can wear the Peyton vs. Cam World Tour merch. It's also available.

Sorry, Malachi. Okay. He didn't like it. Confused Casuals, get you a comment with this week's secret code. It's about chocolate, right? C-I-C. Chocolate C-I-C. Chocolate isn't candy. Wow, what a curveball. We love you so much. I remember. Wow. What an attitude, Kwan Bears. Don't make it out of Christmas. We'll see you next time. We'll see you on tour. Get your tickets. I just got played on my own part. Wow.