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Rise and shine, fever dreamers. Look alive, my friends. I'm Bea Spear. And I'm Sammy Sage. And this is American Fever Dream, presented by Betches News. The show that continues to watch 19-year-olds dismantle our government brick by brick. So you don't have to. We are here today, joined by our favorite friend, host of the Hysteria podcast. Ooh!
The youngest and first female deputy chief of staff for operations, deputy chief of staff for operations under Barack Obama and a championship jam maker. Look at that. Alyssa Mastromonaco. Thanks, guys. And our dear friend. I'm so excited to be here. I was going on and on before we started that you are my comfort podcast. You are my comfort person. Oh, thank you. Yeah. Thank you. We have fun here. I love that for me.
I love that for me. You do chef stuff. The chef stuff is nice. I did chef stuff before. I think you have to, do you cook with love or do you cook with hate? Love. Okay. I cook with hate. If I'm pissed, we're having good dinner. Well, I will say that when I am depressed, when I'm real sad, I come up with some of my best combinations. Like what? So like I was really bummed out once and I was just in the kitchen and I was just like being quiet and smelling things. And I was like, what is that?
And it was the apricots next to the basil. So now every summer I make apricot basil and it is delicious. It is truly delicious. I know. That sounds like something you'd get in Tuscany. It's nice with a little fresh ricotta. I would love to just share like a cheese plate with you. Oh, are you kidding? Right. You guys, you know, my one of the greatest things that ever happened to me is that Adam Platt reviewed my jam for Christmas.
New York Magazine. Oh, my God. Where do we read this? Can we put that up on the screen? Oh, I'll get you the little article. It was awesome. It was me and Josephine's Feast, which is another delightful jam company. You have a lot of, like, very random fun facts. Thank you. Because, like, what are you if you're not interesting?
You know what I mean? Boring. I know, but I'm the kid who went to college. So I went to, I was a freshman at the University of Vermont in 1994. There was no online registration back then. And so I looked around and I was like, oh, these lines are so long. And then there was this very handsome guy who I'm still friends with who was on the Japanese line. You guys, I ended up a Japanese minor in college because I was like, let's learn. You just signed up like for your minor just like that?
Like you got on the line. No, I signed up to take the course. And then I was like, this is the coolest thing I've ever done. And I like how many people could speak Japanese. And then like when I graduated college, I was a paralegal in the World Trade Center, like the original Twin Towers. And I would give directions to Japanese tourists all the time. Wait, so I have to ask, do you speak Japanese now? Oh.
What did you just say? I said something close to my Japanese these days is really only so-so, which is actually even stretching it. Well, you sounded like fluid. Sounded good to me. Thank you. Oh, my gosh. You guys, we've covered so much territory in like three minutes. Wow. We have. And I actually wanted to start with, are you guys Catholic? Well, I know Sammy's Jewish, but are you Catholic? We don't all not Catholic.
I am not Catholic, but half of my family is. And I've met the Pope. Okay. Right. We're going to get to that next because the Pope is hot stuff right now. Now I was raised, I was raised Catholic full, like the nineties fun Catholic, you know, like did the full thing. Like where you ask, you know what I mean? Well, it wasn't fun. Yeah. I say fun in like a dark way, you know? Um, but I was like nineties Catholic, which I think is like a true Catholic upbringing. We went to church on Sundays, you know, you did your little CCD stuff. I had a confirmation name, all that business. Um,
This weekend, my whole For You page on TikTok is people who call themselves cradle Catholics, which I guess is what I would be, fighting with this new Gen Z convert Catholic who... Oh, this is one of my favorite topics. I don't know why. And they're like, who's the right kind of Catholic? And the argument was, if you're a cradle Catholic, you know that you have to have a sense of dark humor about the Catholic Church because there's a lot there, right? And that's sort of how we deal with it. And you got to have a little sense of humor about it. But these kids are showing up and they're like,
I'm home. I'm like, we don't use that language. That's the evangelical language. And they're like getting confirmed as adults, but they're wearing like sundresses. I'm like, first of all, I didn't spend my entire youth in,
kneeling and having nuns scream at you about the length of your skirt for some bitch to show up in a sundress and get confirmed. Okay. In a veil. And I'm like, we don't do veils. Vatican II. Vatican II. Menteas. Menteas. Whoa. So it's crazy online right now with the new Catholics who are almost like evangelicalized. Is it like the trad wife version of Catholicism? It is. Yes. I'm not standing for it. I agree with you. I agree.
I agree with you totally not as a Catholic, but I do feel a kinship towards Catholics because I do think that the closest types of Christians to Jews are Catholics. Yeah. And I understand. Yeah. It's like you can't.
Look, if you're... If you don't have the Jewish mother and the stuff, like the... You're going to have the guilt. The guilt around like, oh, you better not eat on... Like the torture, the memories of like having to be in shul and like just so bored. It's... There's a cultural piece to it that you can't add later in life. No. Also, they didn't like us. All these people who...
these people who are coming from evangelical Christian to Catholic. I'm like, y'all used to make so much fun of us because we didn't have rock bands, right? Because we were so dramatic. Now you come in and you see these gilded churches, right? And you're like, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to make this an aesthetic. And I'm like, the hell you are. I've never been so devout a Catholic as I have been since the Pope died. I'm like defending
I don't even like it. It's easy when there's no one. You got to put a little skin in the game. You don't get to cherry pick. Well, you know what I think? I think people were like maybe evangelized, no pun intended, by Kourtney Kardashian's wedding. So they see they're like, oh, the stained glass. Oh, the gorgeous. Oh, they're attracted to the drama. Right. The aesthetic.
Yes, it's an aesthetic. MAGA's an aesthetic. Everything's an aesthetic. Okay, so for folks who may not know, the Catholics had a form of like a constitutional convention in 1965 where they gave like more rights to women and they said you don't have to wear veils anymore to church. And they actually were like, hey, we're going to throw a couple of Bibles out here for you guys to read instead of just waiting for the priest to tell you what it says. We're going to let you do that. And the Vatican, too, is the reason why like...
your little aunt gets to be a reader at church and why they have like women singers and stuff now. So there's a lot of advancements for women. What year was Vatican II V? 1965. Okay. And it's been like, you know, and it did pretty good. Now I'm kind of like, okay, 2025, we can't have the Gen Z aesthetic Catholics trying to like bring us back into this super trad place. Okay. Right. Like we were, we were starting to move towards like, you know, maybe gays could stay Catholic or like divorce people could get communion, you know?
So the folks, V, the folks who you see who are really tradwifing it, are they very conservative too? I think they're very aesthetically MAGA is what it seems like. It's like the J.D. Vance thing, right? And we should do an episode on like what the Opus Dei version of Catholicism is and this new J.D. Vance kind of Catholicism because it's very spooky. But yeah.
the one thing I want folks to know from Vatican II is like the core piece of it was the idea that the church must engage in dialogue with the world, quote, not to conquer, but to serve, not to despise, but to appreciate, not to condemn, but to comfort and save. And I don't feel like these kids really knew that part. And if you're going to be Catholic, I need you to know that part. Okay. Well,
Well, if you think about Vatican II being in the 60s, it really makes sense that they're kind of like, well, let's disregard this because it comes along with all the stuff that we don't like.
that we kind of want to turn back anyway. So it's just kind of easy to be like, well, if you just skip over Vatican two, you get the thing we want again. And you know, what really gets me about all this stuff is that like the idea, like we haven't mentioned God once in this conversation, like it's supposed to be about you and the God, you know, that is, but have you guys, we actually talked about on hysteria last week. Have you clocked the new, it's not, it's pretty
pretty new the conservative uh website the conservator no you guys it is like one with all the businesses wait yes i did yes i did for the right for maga it's like evie but if it were it's chiquer yes so evie i feel like is very cosmo glamour and conservator is feeling very vogue but there's so much
Again, they're never talking about God, but it's like this woman of faith did da da da da da. And every time it's really wild. It's just the faith. Faith, Sammy. Just I have faith. That's evangelical, though. We can't do that. And then they want to come over here and they're like, I talk directly to God. I was like, no, no, no. You got to go through your lineup of saints first and your garden angels. And then maybe you can bother Jesus's mother. But
You don't go straight to Jesus. You could go to Mary as kind of like tops for you, you know. Why do you have to go to Mary? Well, if you're having a woman problem, certainly. Right. Women speak to Mary. Right. Mary is very important. But you can go to her. You go to Jesus's mom for some help. You go to St. Anthony if you lost something. You go to St. Christopher if you're traveling. You know, you got different people for different things. You can't just come into the church with your shoulders and your knees showing and say, I'm talking directly to God. Right.
That's not how we do it over here. I have a question. Does it bother them that you go to these other figures? Like, do they consider that to be like polytheistic? Yeah, they think it's, well, that's the problem though. Cause that's the difference between Catholic and Pentecostal and all these other things is the Catholics do the saint lineup first. We got all these extra helpers, right? And they're like, well, I have a direct relationship with God. I was like, the hell you do. You got to go through the Trinity and you got to, you got to start at the beginning guys. Who's your confirmation saint? How did you pick
them. Did you just pick your grandmother's name like most of us? Did you actually research your calculations? Who's yours? Vitus. Yeah. Right. Yeah, it's great. What was Vitus known for?
Vitus was the patron saint of singers, dancers, and actors. You picked your confirmation saint when you're 13. That's wonderful. Yes, I made it my legal name, which is. Yeah. Yep. And he also liked dogs and left home at 13. And I was like, you know, an angsty 13 year old. And I was like, Vitus, I'm picking it. And now it's a character in The Hunger Games. It was a very obscure saint when I picked it. Wow.
Very cool. You made Vitus happen. I did. I made Vitus fetch. And now I feel like I fear that my TikTok fame has brought these aesthetics to the Catholic church. I feel like I may have been a gateway. Oh, you think you were like an influencer by accident? Yeah, I accidentally Catholic influenced the radicalized Gen Z. Well, you should maybe like be more overt about your saint obsession or something. I know. Because they might be like, ooh, I don't know.
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Okay, we are pivoting from the Pope and we are talking about Democratic comms. Everyone's favorite conversation. I'm just going to sit back and listen to V. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
No, no, no, no, no. You're here for a reason because you know stuff. To rake me over the coals? No, definitely not. No, you're going to do the raking, actually. Oh, well, we'll see. This show is like show and tell, okay? I just showed and told about Catholic. Now we're going to show and tell about Democratic. Let's do it. Okay, Alyssa. So you're very familiar with how things really work in the party. Like, fair enough. Yeah. Yeah. The behind the scenes.
Behind the scenes. But let's be clear. No one calls and asks my advice. Well, that's their problem. Maybe that's the problem. Perhaps. I'm just saying. I'm just saying anything I say is just of my own free. I have never spoken. I've spoken to anyone in years. Well, that's actually the problem. I think we're going to learn from this. And maybe after this, they'll put you in charge. I don't think they will because they are obsessed with being in charge themselves. But maybe they can be wrong. Okay. So...
Let's talk about like technically the party is failing in terms of its communication. Things aren't going great. Not going great. I think that can be widely agreed upon by the American public and most people who kind of exist on this base. As evidenced by the fact Democrats have a lower approval rating than Republicans right now. Yes. And even though Trump is losing...
losing points in his approval rating. It's not like those points are getting transferred over to the Democrats. He's just losing them. The Democrats aren't gaining it. Everyone's in the toilet. Bad, bad and deserved. But okay. It's like the actual comms infrastructure work in the party. Like whose job is it to be determining what the Democratic comms strategy is and why are they not doing it well? You know,
I think it's always changing, right? But I think one constant is that in times when we have
thrived, we had very strong vocal party leadership, right? We had a leader in the party. There is no... I think it's hard to argue that there's a leader right now. No. You know? And I was thinking about this the other day, but the only time that feels as analogous is right after 2000, when Clinton was weakened because of impeachment, Gore had lost. Mm-hmm.
We still I think back then Ed Rendell, who had been governor of Pennsylvania, I think he had been governor at that point, you know, was head of the party. Very strong, like like almost like Tony Soprano esque mafia get in line. You know, that was always sort of the thing about Rendell. And, you know, I think that helps. Right. Even though we didn't even though then Clinton and Gore were both weakened. Right.
leaving the party sort of in a bit of a in a bit of a spin. You had Rendell, who in within the party was such a strong figure. What was he trying to get people in line for? So back then, you're getting people in line to raise money. You're getting people in line to take votes. You know, you're getting you're unifying the party. He's the person. And again, far less.
you know, mediums for media back then. Right. But he would be the person on the nightly news, ultimately the cable news, which, you know, came just around that time. So that was different because he was speaking with one voice. Right. I think it will always be harder the further and further we go to have that kind of like, even though that was a, I thought, well, weaker time because we didn't have either president or president or vice president as the leader. You still had, I thought, Reddell. Right.
Now, and you also had so few ways to communicate. So it was easier to get on TV, give the same message night after night, drive it home, pick the one good person who who was your messenger. Now we have hundreds of elected officials now.
who can get on Twitter and say whatever, whenever, or X, whatever you want to call it, or truth social, say whatever, or hopefully Democrats. Well, I don't know. Maybe Democrats should be on truth social. But I think it is harder now. And on top of that,
Speaker Pelosi, and this is no knock on Hakeem Jeffries, but Pelosi had a sort of like Rendell effect. You know, she was the boss. And I think that makes it a little easier, was seen as the boss, was at the time a good messenger on television for years and years. So now she has stepped back from that.
Right. It takes someone a minute to take the helm in a way that is as you know, we don't think of Pelosi. We didn't think of Pelosi 10 years ago as we kind of do now. Right. As someone who had that sort of hold on. It's also different because I don't think her messaging is like this. No, not now. But it's really. But look, I feel comfortable saying this.
I loved being White House deputy chief of staff. I knew when I was running out of gas and I left. Right. So I hold other people to the same standard. Right. And I don't feel bad about that. And so I think that the problem now is.
There it's so everybody's one. Everyone's kind of new at their jobs. Right. We have a new DNC chair. Hakeem Jeffries has been speaker for or leader for two years, two years. Right. And like, has he Pelosi still running so much shit behind the scenes? But I think she's trying to help him. I do think she wants. I 100 percent think she wants him to succeed. I think she does. Nancy Pelosi hate account on my side. I know you be. I know you be. But hear me out. Hear me out for any of us.
who have a position of leadership, who have a... We have a stake in the person who comes up behind us doing well. It is a reflection on her if he does not do well, I think. I think with her, she has a very particular set of skills. Right. And she...
Part of why she was good at messaging on TV at the time was because she could actually whip votes into a strategy. And now she had the caucus. Right now, without look, we know that she's actually quite strategic. She did get Biden out of the race. Like, let's be clear. That was really it was her like she drove it with her. And
She did. Like, and when you actually look at like what points were like inflection points of him getting out, it was because of her. Like there was no one else who was pushing it like she was where like he could have recovered and she was like, right off. And she still has it. It's just that she doesn't, she's functioning in a world that is no longer working like she is. And what you said about like they can go on TV and they can just, you know, back in the, you know, the 2000s, like they could go on TV and it's like, there's, there's
a few channels for messages. So only a certain number of messages are going to get out. Exactly. But now they're competing with endless messages from everywhere. Everyone's making messages, me making messages, crooked media, like everybody. And then every elected official or not. And then I think what you end up with is like these algorithms and you end up with the right wing.
which you look at any of those charts and bubbles, like they have all of the impressions. And so it's really hard to break through, especially if you don't have someone who on the democratic side can like really galvanize people. Right. And it's such a big tent and people are so mad at each other. Everyone's everyone's the family's fighting. Yeah. Right. The family's fighting. It's like the family stone and we've brought it to real life. Oh, yeah. And I think that
For now, what would be great is if everyone could look to someone. I was really blown away. I was I was blown.
I guess blown away is the right word, by Mayor Pete's... I always call him Mayor Pete. I think he's a good judge. By Secretary Buttigieg's appearance on Andrew Schultz. You should still stick with Mayor Pete. It's like there's something about it that works. There's something about Mayor Pete that I do think it works. It's a good brand. But he was succinct. It was cause and effect. It was like, here is what Trump... Multiple things. Here is what this country needs, spoken in the most...
roads you can get to work on, a school that you can afford for your kid. I mean, like very fundamental things. And he told you what Trump promised and how he was failing. And to me, it just needs to be like that. I thought that that was such an appealing message. I wanted everyone to listen to it because if Democrats could say that,
in every state will listen. Okay, so on that point of using influencers and podcasts and whatnot, there's been criticism of like...
Gavin Newsom and going on the right wing, Pete and going on the right wing, this one and going on the right wing. And then there's what the Democrats have assembled as like the Democratic influencer class of people where they're bringing in creators, maybe TikTokers or YouTubers, and they are getting access, usually in some basement of the Senate building. And they are just round robin making content for like six hours with these TikTokers and folks like that. What do you think about that strategy for Democrats? Or is this another thing where it's like,
Oh, too many messengers. No, no, no, no. Yes to that. Yes to that. It is the message everyone should be delivering on those platforms that I think needs to be clear, humble, basic, honest.
and and also aspirational right I think that's really what Mayor Pete laid out which if everyone took a version of that in their own authentic language I do not want Jasmine Crockett speaking like Mayor Pete right but she does deliver a very similar message in her own way which I also think she's a great messenger in the party because people want you know what it's like V like I look at
I want everyone to talk to as many people as they can. But there was some like weird dance challenge. Oh my, oh, choose your fighter. Choose your fighter. Okay. See, there are just certain people who shouldn't do that. Or if you're going to do that, do it in a way that is like...
It's like me when I dance. You know what I mean? I'm in on the joke. And I think that people just need to stick with what is authentic to them. That works. Yeah. Not use a trend from like. Here's where that fails though. See, this is where I get a little jealous of the way that the Democrats will treat a right wing influencer versus say like a left wing or me influencer is like when Pete went on that show.
He did not get to control any part of the conversation or have to present questions ahead of time or have to get things cleared. When they bring Democratic influencers or creators in...
It doesn't happen to me per se, but I've seen it happen down the line, especially with younger creators where they're like, well, what questions are you going to ask? Well, in what order? Well, what day is this coming out? Well, at what time? Because they're essentially just stacking their buzz talk points at these creators. And I wish that they would in some ways give the trust to the Democrat, to our side, that they give to the right side so that these people can be authentic and get into a conversation. And then we don't end up with stuff like do the trend. They treat the Dem creators like you're our megaphone.
And like, we know that you have these, these values and these views. So therefore just give us the microphone. No. And I agree. That's where it falls down because then the medium doesn't work. Right. Right. The message doesn't work and the medium doesn't work because the people who come to it, look at it and they're like, you fake ass bitch. Yeah. I think that, I think.
I think that the thing is- Well, they almost become more impressed with the right wing stuff. Like you'll see Pete on the right wing podcast got a ton of extra coverage where Pete on maybe like the Midas Touch, it doesn't go as far. Why? Why aren't they pushing it as far? Why aren't they as impressed? Because he doesn't need to explain anything revolutionary to the Midas Touch guys. It's just like, how fun is it to be like, yeah, I agree with you. Yeah, I agree with you. Yeah, I agree with you. It's like, that's not interesting. Right.
you have to either like spill tea. And like I've said, when people ask for like elected officials to come on here, I'm like, are they going to make news? Like, unless it is someone like Jasmine Crockett, who is an incredible,
An incredible communicator. And I actually just. And literally was on both of our podcasts in the last month. Yes. Because she's. Terrific. She can say anything. And I'm going to, I'm going to share. I actually was last week we had her on here. I interviewed her. And then the next day I'm part of this, I'm part of this pack in New York. Basically they help to get mostly like women elect. It is. They're looking for women to get elected on the national stage. They pick a few candidates and they have like a great win rate. Yeah.
So she came to like, like meet these people. And it's honestly like a bunch of 85 year olds on the Upper East Side, like, like a bunch of old Jewish grandpas and grandmas. And like, you know, and the way that she was able to speak to this room as herself, not missing a beat, no, no changing, no like code switching. Not that there would be anything wrong with it if she did, but there's like the way that she was able to embody herself and,
And speak in the exact same way and level with these 85-year-olds the same way that she could come in here and talk to us in the same way that she can sit on the oversight committee and confront things. She is the real deal. And there are people who...
I think the most effective communicators are the people who have been Bernie Sanders. Bernie Sanders has been speaking the same speak since I was an intern in 1994. Like, like, like, and well, well before that. And it's because he doesn't waver. So people trust him. Right. They don't hear different things out in different venues. They don't hear a different affect. They don't, they don't hear that. So they trust him. Barack Obama. Yeah. Barack Obama from the day I met that man, that's,
He does not speak differently to different groups of people. It is. Right. He speaks the way he speaks. And sometimes people would say, oh, you know, he's aloof. And it's like, no, that's just he's just matter of fact. He's just telling you how it is. So friggin cool. Why do you think this became so important? Like what? Like, why do you think over everything?
what someone who speaks like themselves has become like, at least for me, and I think for a lot of the electorate, like this, this bellwether of like, whether they're good enough, because it's interesting, because like, let's go back again to 2000. Right? People liked how George Bush spoke. Now, some of us have a beer with him. It was have a beer with him. He sounds like then who is next up, right? John Kerry. He
He did. He was not a good. He's a very smart man. I worked on that campaign. I have known him for a long time. He is a empathetic, smart man. He was not a good communicator. So think of the juxtaposition. He's the president, presidential nominee, 2004. And who gives the best speech of the convention? Right.
Barack Obama in a time when Democrats were so hungry for someone who was really going to inspire them in a way. And I think that Barack Obama sort of, you know, Jimmy Carter before him, but didn't have the same kind of platform. Right. Also was not a he was a plain spoken good communicator, but he wasn't a soaring orator in the way that Obama was. And so I think that he came along at a time when people were really hungry for that. And now people are
Of course, depends on how old you are. But people of a certain generation, when you want to feel good and confident and inspired, you still may look back to that 2004 speech. And so I think we're just looking for that next person who can speak in that way and get us inspired and inspired about things differently.
that mattered and are achievable. And, you know, you don't have to have exponentially chaotic rhetoric to have people listen to you. Right. Right. Well, it depends. Well, if it's true, I think Cory Booker's trying to be that person right now. Right. Right.
Well, it depends. I think he hits with people who have the attention span to understand what he's doing and the historic monumentalness of something like beating Strom Thurmond's longest running speech on the floor and the importance of him sitting on the Capitol steps like two black men sitting on a stoop talking about how they're going to fix their neighborhood is important and what he did with Akeem Jeffries had a bigger meaning. I'm not sure always that
I think it does really well with millennials and older. I see a lot still of them not getting the Gen Z folks to see it as important or connectable on the level that I think we need to because Gen Z tends to be so quick to be like, that was performative. He's doing it for attention. And it's like, yes, of course.
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We are bringing back a segment that, um, that we had a lot of folks want us to bring back known as the Lulu girly of the month. And this is where we are going to, uh, talk about somebody who is so wildly delusional that they deserve an award and recognition both as, you know, the cultural touchstone that they are and the cautionary tale that they'll become. All right. I guess I'll start. Um,
My Delulu girly of the month is a perennial Delulu girly. It is none other than President Donald Trump. And there's always a new reason why he's Delulu. But the reason I'm choosing this month is the tariffs.
And what I've realized is that the belief in tariffs is the closest thing this man holds to spiritual faith. And he has like, you know, this is the only thing that he has like solidly just continue to believe in for as long as he's been speaking, like everything else he has flip-flopped on, not the tariffs, though.
not the tariffs. So despite the fact that everybody, every economist, every, you know, anyone with a calculator can tell you that this is a bad idea, what he is doing, and he is destroying the global economy and are standing on the world stage. Yet he is continuing because he is DeLulu and he thinks that this is going to help.
Although he's adding them. Although let's be real. All right. We just got one on the movies last night. But let's be real. This is because they want to set up a parallel economy. So they don't care if they weaken the United States economy. They want their sovereign wealth fund. Right. And their external external revenue service and the crypto reserve. That's going to be the new economy.
The new MAGA economy. So, yeah. Do you think it'll stay, though, Alyssa? Or do you think that that will crash? Like, should I buy some meme coin? Or is this just going to bankrupt the MAGA? How'd the Reichmark do? I feel like it's going to.
Go tits up at some point. Tits up in the butter. That's I mean, honestly, I just I have a hard time seeing anything that like Don Jr. is loosely in charge of going super well. Maintaining. Yeah. Yeah. It's all like Ponzi. Well, it's also it's like, look what they did. No, but it is. It's like they let in a bunch of dope people. They tipped him off.
Trump announces it like it's it is it's like buried right. V, didn't they announce it? They announced the crypto coin on like Inauguration Day or whatever. So it was buried in the news. People didn't pay attention the night before. And then the crypto ball. They all sold after all these poor Americans who who, you know, voted for him for the price eggs. They go and buy the coin because he tells them they're going to get rich. And then he tips. Then somehow there's a mass sell off event.
And a bunch of people make hundreds of millions of dollars and other people lose all that money. Like, it just feels like fool me once.
Fool me 85 times. I know. I know. But he has lived on this earth as an adult. I know. But, you know, every time somebody loses money, you hope that, you know, this is people probably lost more money on this than a Trump steak, Trump vodka, Trump University. We got to find these people, right, who are willing to tell the story of like losing their money on the Trump coin because it just continues to be a thing. I mean, people bought the Hawk to a coin and did better than the Trump coin.
It's a rug pull. It's a rug pull. Alyssa, who is your Delulu girly of the month? You guys, do you know? Wait, what's her name even? I just know human printer girl, Natalie Hart. Natalie Hart. Oh, we know her. We've been wanting to talk about her for a while. You guys, what on earth is wrong? Okay, human printer. This came out in several articles and in Michael Wolff's book, I think, over the past year.
But she is known to carry a printer so that she can print out, which, by the way, was found out because apparently she's not that good at her job. And she dropped her papers all over the plane once. And the reporters saw what she had printed out, which was like old fan blogs and.
memes of Trump, like out of date articles, just like total fan, a fan blog. Basically, she brings out a fan blog for him. And but I'm like, OK, well, what's her real deal? Because all of these articles were written because she was going to work in the White House. She had joined. She'd been an OANN news anchor who then joined the Trump campaign and wanted to be so close to him that when they decamped to Bedminster, she stayed in the locker room
Because she wanted to be close. And when that wasn't close enough, she bartered her way into a maid's quarter in the main house. What would she barter? Her printer? I have no idea. But she's considered a threat by the Secret Service because she wants to be so close to him all the time. They tried. But here was my thing. I'm like, okay, well, all these articles were written because she worked in the White House. But I couldn't figure out what job she had in the White House. So I dug. Okay.
You guys, do you remember in the West Wing, Mrs. Lanningham? Remember where Mrs. Lanningham sat? Yeah. That's where Natalie Harp sits, right outside the Oval Office. She's in what is called the Outer Oval, which means she has walk-in privileges to the Oval. There was a whole shtick about how people that Trump wanted to see, who he didn't want other people to know he was seeing, would text her. Now, this made me so upset because you guys- Wait, but how is the Secret Service letting this happen?
So all that he tells them to let her stay, I think. Yeah. He's the one who's like, they have eyes on her. But he's like, keep her here. But she is obsessed. Like apparently they went to some NCAA wrestling tournament and he was like, oh, look at these guys. She was with him. And he's like, oh, these guys are very handsome. And she, according to reporting, turned to him and was like, no, they're not. There's nothing about them that is handsome to me.
What? She's whack. Yeah. Her father, her daddy's big Christian. Yeah. No, her daddy's a big Christian real estate agent and she's got an MBA from Liberty. Christian real estate agent? What makes the real estate Christian? What are houses Christian?
I don't know. That's just how it's described here. They come with a crucifix hanging already. And she has an MBA from Liberty University. So she's deep in the cult. She's deep. Oh, and in the most dooloo of all, in one anecdote, Melania Trump reportedly, quote, stumbled upon harp late at night in Trump's private quarters at Mar-a-Lago, an area that was typically off limits to those outside Trump's family. Do you think she's like a ho-pixing it? But.
Hope was better at her own messaging. I think Hope is much smarter. Hope had a real job. Hope had a real job. Right. And this is... Hope had a real job. But it was the same sort of closeness that feels uncomfortable to people looking at it. You know what it is? It's limerence. Do you know what limerence is? Does everyone know what limerence is? No, it's limerence. Oh, oh my God. Wow. I'm going to... Okay. So limerence is like...
How do I describe it? It's sort of like an addiction to a person. It's like more than a crush. Okay. Like, because people can be limerent for someone they don't really know. Like you could be limerent for someone you know very well. You could be limerent for like your own partner. But it's like they're addicted to the person and the attention they get from the person where it's like, did you ever see like Notes on a Scandal?
Like with Judi Dench and Cate Blanchett, maybe. Okay, I'm trying to think of like other limerence movies, like bunny boiling stuff. Fatal Attraction. Fatal Attraction. She was compared to Glenn Close by some in the Trump universe. It's like that. Single white female. Yes, single white female. But it's like, it doesn't have to necessarily be like sexual. Like a limerent relationship can exist between just like
in like the cashier at their grocery store. Like, you know what I mean? It's she's Delulu for a lot of reasons, but mostly because I think that she must believe her. The epilogue to her story will be different than everybody else's. I mean, he will ultimately she will be the fall person for something. Well, you know what she did do? It's on her Wikipedia. She's the one who. Remember when he posted a video that referenced the Unified Reich? Yes. She was the one who was responsible for posting that. I saw that. And my
Yeah. And then also she she is quite obsessed with him, I think, because he instituted something called like a right to try law where people could try experimental drugs. And she says that without him, she'd have died. Like he say she thinks he saved her life, which maybe he did. But he's defunding all that shit. That's my point. How could she? How could she?
And like that's what maybe what makes her the most delulue is that this cancer trial that she got to try was was because of this law. Like all of the things it was it had not been FDA approved like and she got to do it. And this is what they are defunding and taking away from everybody right now. Experimental drugs for me, but not for thee. It is outrageous.
I can't. V, who's your? Where is Laura Loomer coming to all of this? Oh, definitely. She texts. So according to their. Yes. Lomer will text Natalie when she wants to see Trump. And and she and Natalie is like, yeah, you can see her. She comes in outside. She must come in outside the Susie Weil. Right. Susie Weil is the official channel where we're like the real meetings happen.
No, or is it the real meetings happen? Through Natalie Harp. I mean, Laura Lomer comes in and Mike Walsh is suddenly USUN. Right, right. I mean, here we are. They chase Peter Navarro out of the room. Oh, my God. Peter, you're unpackaged.
So terrible. Yeah. I watched that Tara Palmieri interview of Laura Loomer. I think everybody should watch it. It's very unnerving when you get a long clip of these people because we usually see them just, you know, in little sound bites. When you watch her for like, I think it's like 40 minutes on Tara Palmieri's sub stack. That's funny. You and I get the same. We got fed the same emails this weekend because that one is bookmarked for me too. Yeah.
It's really good, but it's like where your chest is tight the whole time. Like you're afraid that somebody's going to jump scare you the whole time she's on the screen. It's sort of how I feel about Marjorie Taylor Greene in person. Just very like... Who's your DeLulu girl of the month, V? It's Marco Rubio. Marco Rubio is mine. One, because I...
You know when you, like, think that you're making a good decision about somebody that you should trust or be friends with and you're like, no, they'll be OK. They should be able to hang with the group. I was like that about Marco Rubio being secretary of state or whatever. I was like, of all the choices, him.
He'll be like, oh, yeah, the least bad of the choices. Maybe this will be an OK thing. And I was very wrong. This man is like full drinking the Kool-Aid and like fully participating in what's going on. And now has like 19 jobs. Trump has made him little Marco. Yeah. Big part of his. But you know what? I think that is. Do tell. Now, Marco Rubio will never be fucking president.
Well, they have hung so many albatross around his neck. It is. I'm telling you, I think it's all just J.D. Vance telling Trump what Marco should do. And Trump's being like, OK, they're all saying he's doing a good job because then Trump will be like, OK, he'll take it. But to me, this is a giant scheme to make sure he is never president. He'll fail. I mean, Trump yesterday said that he sees J.D. Vance or Marco Rubio as his successor. So maybe, you know, he's got them WWE style fighting in the back rooms. There's going to be a pile driver somewhere down the line. Well, I.
I guess my question is like, yes, except who else would get that job? Like who else could could viably do it? The National Security Advisor. Who? It's easy. He got fired. No, no, no. I know. But it's not a Senate confirmed position. They just have to appoint somebody. Well, maybe there's no one who look, they have to vet that person for like.
like loyalty to the the crazy shit right and it's not that easy to find totally yeah but it but but it's not that easy i think to find people like you know what i mean they well i had heard a horrible rumor that they were thinking of it being stephen miller oh i had seen that on the internet somewhere isn't stephen miller kind of like already doing everything like that's my that's my belief is that he's kind of the orchestra orchestra orchestrator
He's the conductor. He's the conductor. I might want to change my pick. I don't know. Maybe I want to change my pick to Mike Johnson, who's living with his preacher. There's so many to choose from the Trump administration. I'll stick with Marco Rubio. But there's when I think about it's like give a mouse a cookie. Once we talk about one of them, then I remember a crazy thing about another one and a crazy thing about another one. And I can like never stop. And these people are running the country. So who do we think should win this week's this month?
You didn't even mention with Trump that he did an AI photo of himself as the Pope. Speaking of DeLulu, you only did the tariffs. You know what? Trump wins. The DeLulu, the Pope is. Whoever's running that White House account. Who is it? How do we find out? I want to interview them so badly. Oh, my God. Should we try to figure it out? What if it is Stephen Miller? It's not. He does an Instagram. Is it Dan Scavino? No, I think it's a kid. It's a kid. It's someone who's younger. But he must have a boss. Whoever the person. Yeah.
The boss is just saying, good job. Go get him, kid. Let me tell you something. Official accounts retweeting political accounts. You guys, it's all it's it's daggers in my soul in so many different ways. You know, it actually was supposed to warm my soul if it had gone a different way. This would have been great. You know, just going to say that he's he's wild. OK, so that is DeLulu girly of the month. It's Trump. May his DeLulu never come to Lulu. Yes. Yes.
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Last thing we want to just talk about. I know we didn't get into this in the comms. Alyssa and I were talking about our sort of dream ticket as of this moment. We don't know. Just us being having a good time. Let's say the election, if the 2020 election were somehow today. Yeah. We were saying that we think the perfect ticket would be Pete and Jasmine Crockett. Amen. V, what do you think?
Oh, I love it. I do love it straight off. What about so AOC for secretary of state? Like, no, she waits. She's too. She's only going to be 38 during this election. I think too young. And I think that her message, like, I don't think she has enough time to sell herself. She's a great messenger person.
And like as she is now, there's the Senate in New York, there's governor in New York coming up. I feel like like there are other opportunities for her to do even more and be more visible if she wants to. Yeah, I think so. It's not a holding her back. I might challenge your ticket with with a with a J.B. Pritzker presidency. I wanted to say Gretchen Whitmer, but obviously it can't be both of them.
Why? I don't know. I love JB, though, too. I love JB Pritzker. You know what? I think JB Pritzker's great, too. We're picking all people who we like to listen to. That's true. Yeah. We love JB's speech. And I like that he dressed up for the Star Wars day. Yes. I think JB Pritzker would be very, very good. I think that, like, I wonder if he has the it. Like, I think he's great, but does he have...
Mayor Pete to me has the ability to explain issues the way Barack Obama did. Yes. Thoroughly, thoughtfully. You may not agree with him at the end, but you trust him. I think what it is, is like he my belief is that America, the Americans, when you're in like a kind of 50-50 situation, which we have been for a long time, the things they want to hear are competence. And they want liberalism without the
Intense social war, like they want the freedom of liberalism that let live and let live vibe. Yes. But they don't want like to have it in their faces like they don't. You know, I think it's like the wokeness in people's faces was more offensive to them than like whether the actual policies of quote unquote wokeness were going to be enacted. Right.
Like if you didn't talk about it. We'd have to see how Chasten does then, right? Because Pete Buttigieg comes with Chasten and that could go either way. Sometimes Chasten, Chasten or Chasten? Chasten. Chasten. Sometimes Chasten gets in there, you know, in fights and different stuff and it could, I don't know. Is Chasten the new Jill Biden? I don't know. Well, people might like that. Like people might find that like.
I think that there's something very it's authentic. I don't know. You can see both. Like I can see them being more like likable as a couple than like who you just said. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We'd have to see. Yeah. I don't know. Good choices. Yeah. Right. And you know what? We could be a ways away. We'll see. We are a ways away.
We are. We have like three years. There could be a totally new person. Oh, no, no, no. Someone's going to announce. You think it's one somebody we know? Someone's going to announce in a year. Somebody we don't know, I'm saying. Yeah. Someone will announce in a year. Someone will announce in a year. Is that too soon? I've sort of, I've also kind of like pulled
Pulled away from the Democratic Party overall. I now work with the Working Families Party, which of course caucuses with the Democrats and whatnot. But I've just enjoyed being in that group more than like the DNC group. You know, DNC is kind of messy. Working Families Party is like...
A little bit cooler. So maybe we can get them a bigger platform and folks would like their candidates. My thing is that I pulled away from all parties and everyone can go fuck themselves. Sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not a third party either. Everyone loves each other. Yes, exactly. I know. Why can't we all just get along? Maybe our pal Marianne Williamson will get back out there. Indeed. I mean...
She was fascinating. Yeah. But, you know, not for president. No. This is, again, people need to stop looking for like a final boss job of president. I'd give her secretary job, though. Yeah, no, I'd give Mary Grimson like secretary of something. She's got ideas. I don't know. She's got.
Well, now look at who we have now. I mean, I put her in charge of a lot of different. I think she's pretty interesting lady. I'd put her on something. Put her on like the arts. She'd be an arts council. I mean, guys, fundamentally, she'd be better at HHS than RFK. That's what I'm saying. Oh, yeah. She's at least knows how to organize around it. She's met sick people before. These guys.
He has. He's messed up. He had his sister lobotomized. Like, I'm not trying to, you know. Again, I will never understand going to Brooklyn for Peter Luger's and then back to Central Park and then back to LaGuardia. It doesn't make any sense. It doesn't make any sense. Anyway, shall we? All right. Well, until next time, I'm V Spear. And I'm Sammy Sage. And this is American Fever Dream. Good night. Betches.