1 Key to Build Your Perfect Life
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Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so you never miss another podcast episode. And if you're out there and you love this podcast and you want to grow your life and improve your goal-setting skills, you can download my free ebook on how to dominate, how to plan, how to set, how to achieve your goals for next year by going to goals2025.com. Once again, goals with an S, 2025.com, and you can download it for free.

Today, I'm going to be talking to you about what I feel is probably the most overlooked part of hitting your goals and creating the life that you want. And I'm going to give you a tip that I think is really overlooked in personal development, but in my opinion, might be the most important part of all of it. Because creating the life you want and going out for it, whenever we say creating the life you want, it's such a corny phrase. Like, oh, it's

create the life that you want. I feel like it's such a corny overused phrase, but really it is so true. You have to create the life that you want. And if you don't create the life that you want, then you're going to have to settle for the life that comes to you. And so you either go out and get it or you just go, hey, I'll just see what life decides to give me. And if you do that, you're not going to probably like the life that you get.

You have to understand that your life is your creation. You have created everything that is around you right now.

Most people are not creating actively though. They're just kind of passively creating. Like if I walked up to a person on the street and I said, hey, tell me about your life and they tell me about it and where they are currently. And I'm like, yeah, you created that life that you currently have. Everything that's where you live, your job, everything that's around there. Average person would be like, no, that's not true. Well, this happened to me and this was this.

But it's like, you have to understand you are crafting it at every moment. It's just the problem is that most of us aren't actively participating in the crafting of our life. And so we're going to talk about how to create the life that you actually want. And I'm going to make this super, super simple for you. You and where you are right now, whether that's where you want to be or whatever it might be, is based off of things that you've done in the past. And right now, you are where you are right now.

And there is a version of you in the future, which is where you want to be. So let's talk about, let's say one year from now, and let's talk about five years from now. Where do you want to be in five years?

And if you had five years, five perfect years, every single day, you did exactly what you needed to do to create the life that you want. Where could you be in five years? Write it down. You know, if you're at home, pause me and just write it down. What do you want your life to look like? Journal it and be as detailed as possible. And don't be realistic, but think like if I had five perfect years of every single day was executed perfectly, where could I be in five years? If you're driving, just think about it.

What is a life that would be like a hell yes for you? A life that gets you excited, where you're like, oh my God, if I was there in five years, it would be the best possible life I could have. One thing that I always say that I think is really important is you should follow your energy. When you think about and you plan out where you want to be in your life,

follow your energy. Follow that feeling of what gets you excited. Follow the feeling of what an amazing life would be and look like. Follow the feeling. Don't be like, well, I could be doing this. I could be making this much money. It'd be kind of neat if I was doing that. Like, that's not exciting. That sounds like it sucks. Like, what sounds exciting to you? What makes you come alive? What makes you feel more energetic when you think about it? If you're planning something in your future and it doesn't give you energy,

I'm just going to tell you, it's probably not for you. You know, if you're, for instance, if you're in a relationship and you think about that relationship in five years, in being with that person in five years, does it feel like a hell yes? Like, oh my God, I can't wait to see where we are in five years. Do you feel like growing alongside that person gives you energy, that it fills you with energy? Does it make you excited to be in a relationship with them for another five years? If so, sounds great. Follow that energy.

If not, if it doesn't give you energy, that relationship needs to change in some sort of way. You and that person need to change or you need to change out of that relationship and possibly find a new one. And so that's one way of thinking like, what do I want my future to be like?

Yeah, if that person gives you, oh my God, we could be together in five years and we could be doing this and we would have traveled and we would have done all these things in the past five years, that gives you energy, it's probably the right person. If you're like, hmm, I don't know if I want to be with them in five years, that doesn't sound exciting. Well, it could be that you need to change and that they need to change so that the relationship changes, or it could be that the relationship just isn't the right one. You know, it's the same thing if you think about like your job, for instance.

how you make money, your career, your business, whatever it is. If you fast forward five years from today, does it give you energy? Do you still want to be making money the same way? I remember when I really decided to quit the last job that I worked at in 2015. I was looking at my manager and I was like, I don't want that job. And if I crush it and I do really well and my manager gets promoted, I take my manager's job.

I'm not going to be happy with that job. And so that was a perfect example of following my energy and my energy was like, yeah, that's definitely not it. Then I was like this podcasting and this coaching thing, like there's a lot of energy around it. Okay. That was the thing for me. And I'm glad that I did follow my energy. And so think about your job in five years. Does it give you energy?

So do this with your relationship. Do this with your job. Do this with your company. Do this with your employees, with your friends, with your health and your body, with your children, every aspect of your life. And once you get clear on the next five years, what I want you to do is think about the next 12 months. You get very clear on five years, but five years is pretty far away. And so what I want you to think about is the next 12 months.

So if we fast forward one year from today, where do you need to be in order to be on track for that five-year plan? See it as like a checkpoint. There's five different checkpoints. What's the first checkpoint of where you want to be to be on track for that 10-year vision? Where do you need to be to be passing your first checkpoint a year from today?

And then plan out your relationship and plan out your job and plan out your company and plan out your employees and your friends and your health and your body and your children, every aspect of your life. Where do you want it to be a year from today? And then here's the important part that I was telling you about at the beginning, but I didn't quite give it to you. Here it is that most people leave out. Who do you need to be in order to create that life?

Who do you, the person listening to this episode, need to be in order to create that life? Because that life is not going to go and create itself. People focus too much on what they need to do, which is important. But what's more important than what you need to do is who you need to be. Because if you're the type of person who can create that life, you will automatically do the things that you need to do

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And now back to the show. And so really what's most important is who do I need to be more than anything else?

There's a thing that's called the self-concept and self-identity theory. And basically it means this. Our self-concept, which is how we view ourself, plays a massive role in our behavior and our motivation and our self-esteem. And studies show that when people have a very clear and positive view of their future selves, they're more likely to make decisions

in the present moment that aligns with that vision, which then obviously is going to lead to a better life and better outcomes. There's also a thing that's called the self-discrepancy theory. And this theory basically suggests that people have three self guides. There's the actual self, which is who they are. There's the ideal self, which is who they want to become. And there's the ought self, which is who they think they should be.

And when there's discrepancies between the actual self and the ideal self or the ought selves, it can lead to different emotions and levels of motivation. When they don't line up with each other, this discrepancy is like, it's not, why would you take action towards? It's not who you are. It's not what you do. These things don't line up. So the goal is to make all three of them in alignment with who you are and who you're going to be and who you ought to be.

And all of that leads to a better emotional state and more drive to take action towards it because you're saying who I am is the first step for who I need to be. And I can see the clear path of how I'm going to get there. And that's really what you're trying to do. So there's who you are, who you need to be, and then who you ought to be. So it's like it's your current self, your ideal self, and then your ought self, who you ought to be. And so let me show you what I mean by all of this, right?

When you look at your one-year goals, if you are the person that could create that reality today, when you look at all the goals that you want 365 days from today, if you are the type of person right now who could create that life today, you would already have it.

And so it shows you that building yourself is more important than building your life. Now, building your life is important, but building yourself is the biggest part of building your life. Because when you build yourself, that life that you want will become a byproduct of the things that you do. I'll give you a perfect example from my own self, right? And I've been saying this for years now. I feel like every year this becomes more and more true.

The life that I have now, I could not have had five years ago. Like my life over the past five years has massively changed. Like it was like things were growing at a decent rate for four or five years and they were doing pretty well. Then about five years ago, it was like a massive hockey stick moment in my life.

Five years ago, if I rewind myself five years ago, I could not have the life that I currently have right now. Like if I took myself from five years ago and put myself into this moment, I could not handle the life that I have. I was not yet the person who could create it. But over time, I've been working on myself. I've built myself.

And I've built myself and I built myself and I built myself. And it's one brick at a time, one day at a time. And now I'm a completely different person than where I was five years ago. And anybody who knows me knows like I'm a super busy person, like really, really busy. I have a ton of plates that I spend. I have this podcast. I have all the content that I create for Instagram and TikTok and YouTube and all of that stuff.

I have, you know, the book that I created not long ago. I have my coaching business where I have two separate things where we coach people on self-development. And then we also coach people who are growing their coaching businesses. We have 39 employees in that company and they're in Austin. They're all over the world.

We also have, you know, like my personal life. So it's like, so even before my personal life, it's like, I kind of have like two or three jobs that I have. And then in my personal life, I have my wife spending time with her, my son, growing our relationship, my health, my own personal development. You know, I'm currently in the process of learning how to fly a plane, all kinds of these things, right?

And then it hit me one day when I was thinking about all of the stuff that I do and all of these places that I spend, that if I took Rob when he first started this podcast in 2015 and placed him in my life right now, he would probably have a mental breakdown because he just wasn't capable of it yet. It would have been way too much for him. He didn't have all of these places that he spun.

But I've just grown myself enough over the years and I just have a little bit more mental bandwidth every single year. And I have fun doing it. Like I love doing every single aspect of it. And so it's because I've just decided that, yes, I do want to create an amazing life. But the biggest part of creating an amazing life is creating an amazing self.

And that's what I think we should all be focusing on. We should all be focusing on building ourselves while taking action to create the life that we want. That's the most important thing. Don't just read books and go to conferences and not take action. No, it's like if you went to the gym every day for the next five years, you would have much bigger muscles than you do right now, which means we're putting this very simply that you could lift more because you are stronger.

You're just simply able to lift more. It's the exact same thing here. The more that you grow yourself and grow yourself and grow yourself, the more you'll mentally be able to lift more five years from today. So if you think about yourself and who you want to be in five years and then rewind it a little bit, but still be in the future and say, who do I need to be in a year? When I look at the goals that I have for myself, who do I need to be as a person in order to be able to create those goals?

And what I want you to do is I want you to start planning out the person that you need to become. It sounds a little bit weird, but they're basically going to become your North Star.

what you're trying to work for, who you want to become. If you think about your perfect version of yourself in a year, what do they do on a daily basis? What habits do they have? What standards do they hold themselves to? How do they talk to themselves? How do they talk to other people? How do they follow through when they say they're going to do something? What does their morning routine look like? How do they take care of their body? How do they talk to themselves? How do they take care of their mind?

How do they talk to people around them? Who do they hang out with? And I want you to just get very, very clear on this person. It doesn't even need to be quote unquote you. It's just imagine there's a person who has the life that you want a year from today. Plan that person out as detailed as you possibly can be. And then focus on becoming that person every single day while taking the actions you need to. And so it is very important for all of us to say, okay, what are my goals?

for the future? And what do I need to do to get there? All of that is very important. But just as important of all of that, if not more, is who do I need to be in order to be the person who takes that action, in order to be the person that creates that life. And if you focus on building yourself more than anything else, then the life that you want in the future is just a byproduct of who you are.

And so that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, you learned something from it, please share it on your Instagram stories. Tag me at RobDialJr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. The only way this podcast grows is from you guys sharing it. So if you've never shared it before, do me a favor, share it on your Instagram stories so that more people can find it. We can start helping more people out. And with that, I'm gonna leave it the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make somebody else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.

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